#putting on john what she can't take etc etc

[bambi-kinos]

Hey!

I was listening to double fantasy today - specifically ‘I’m Losing You’ (heartbreaking song)

In my eyes, very Paul McCartney break up based. But I thought their relationship had been on good terms in 1980, so in your opinion why did John write this song?

Thanks :)

I'm Losing You has always struck me as John's good-bye song to Yoko, nothing to do with Paul. He really did care about her, or what he thought she represented. Letting go of her was a long process. The lines about the stranger's room and the phone always makes my ears perk up because Fred Seaman said that Yoko was constantly on her landline, all day and all night. She barricaded herself inside her office and often slept there so that she didn't have to deal with Sean and John. Yoko had Fred move John's stuff in and out of his room when he left to sail to Bermuda. If he hadn't come up with Double Fantasy, she was planning to divorce him and take him for everything. John knew that or suspected when he came back, I don't see why Fred wouldn't have warned him. I think the song maps to this pretty reliably:

Here in some stranger's room Late in the afternoon What am I doing here at all? Ain't no doubt about it I'm losing you

Yoko moved everything back into John's bedroom as soon as she heard about plans for Double Fantasy but I fully expect John to have known or been warned about what she had done. He knew the room was no longer his.

Somehow the wires have crossed Communication's lost Can't even get you on the telephone Just got to shout about it I'm losing you

One of the reliable ways of contacting Yoko was through her phone which John could use. However she also barricaded herself away from him, sent him to Korean brothels and massage parlors to deny him sex and intimacy, John had a screaming argument with Yoko that was about John not understanding the Japanese staff at their apartment, etc. Even if he called her she wouldn't have picked up. Straight to answering machine!

Well, here in the valley of indecision I don't know what to do I feel you slipping away

John spent a lot of time babbling his head off to Fred about second chances and working at love and relationships etc. To me it's always read as the scared chatter of a man who knew a train was hurtling towards him. Major fear of the unknown and understandably paralyzed by the end of his marriage. I fully believe John wanted to leave Yoko but he was struggling against inertia.

Well now you say you're not getting enough But I remind you of all that bad, bad, bad stuff So what the hell am I supposed to do? Just put a band-aid on it? And stop the bleeding now Stop the bleeding now Well...

Well, well, well I know I hurt you then But hell, that was way back when Well, do you still have to carry that cross? (Drop it!) Don't wanna hear about it I'm losing you

Yoko had many ways of communicating her moods to John and regardless of whether it was good, he was very attuned to her and her desires. I see this phrasing as John finally finding his backbone. He blew up his life for this woman and she never thanked him for it. He was getting sober and getting inspired and was finally telling her to fuck off.

But he's obviously going to have complex feelings towards her despite everything so I'm Losing You is John working through that.

[shallowseeker]

I know, I know. "She was only perfect after she died," and it's a tempting view: a stereotypical "man causing trouble in the marriage."

But consider: what if the majority of the marital discord came from Mary herself--stepping out to "tie up loose ends," or "to send a message to another hunter about one little hunt," then not being able to explain her absences. (She'd rather John think she's stepping out on him than...hunting.)

"I need time to think," John says over the phone. "What's there to think about?" she says, shutting him down, pressuring him with her trump card: her kids. "You've got two boys at home."

[fideidefenswhore]

Part of what I find... ironic, if I may say so: Henry VIII's contemporaries praised how Jane Seymour was more discreet and submissive (obviously comparing Anne), but that's what makes her such a mystery today. No one knows what she was really like as a person, because she had to play all this role to keep herself as queen. This is why she is considered the least favorite of wives (and don't help some works try sell her as a sweet angel).

Well, that praise has been translated very much at face-value, very literally, so many would argue that there's no enigma. Jane was not so much a constant as a new constant and an unknown quantity; and the sense of stability was to some extent merely this extension of the former status quo (Princess Mary was not reinstated, in contrast to the usual narrative, it's Jane's ascendancy that sees Mary's supporters interrogated and/or arrested, and even soon after, sees Mary's chamberlain executed, this is the second marriage in as many years whose legitimacy and issue is affirmed by Parliament, without sanction, nor even this time, dispensations from the Pope); but the very nature of the praise (Jane as anodyne, Jane as gentle and sweet) is testament to the toothlessness of her tenure.

Measured approaches are going to help with that (people don't like being spoon-fed, nor about-faces, The Tudors actually does give us the blueprint of her usual historical narrative) but unfortunately there aren't many. So like, Retha Warnicke is one of the only historians to mention the dissonance of the report of her plea for the restoration of the abbeys versus the evidence that Jane and her family owned properties of the Dissolution. Unfortunately, she also just completely discredits that report, claiming that it was from Chapuys and thus cannot be trusted (it's definitely not, he never in his life referred to Mary as anything other than 'the princess', not 'Madame Marie'), despite that it turns up twice by two different sources; so actually what she does there is deny any dissonance when it's dissonance that makes historic people compelling (I usually just see the reverse of this from fandom, Jane was an angel without agency nor autonomy and thus every single thing she did or accepted she was 'forced' to do by Henry, including her own inventory inclusive of the above, including marrying him, etc...)

[gloomwitchwrites]

I absolutely love your stories they’re so amazing! Can I please request the task force and pranking them by telling them a guy did your Brazilian wax

Thank you! I can't take all the credit. I might be the writer, but the Imagines Series couldn't be what it is without all the amazing ideas people have submitted. I'm honestly blown away by the amount of creativity and ideas sent my way. My inbox is full of wonderful requests, and while it's going to take me a bit to get to them all, I'm eager to complete them!

The amount of prank requests I've been getting has been so fun. Not just this one, but telling mom to shut up, and the premium air prank, etc. All of these make me giggle and have been a blast to work on. Thank you so much for sending this in!

Presented in four double drabbles.

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Female Reader

Content & Warnings (per the warnings MDNI): swearing, suggestive themes, established relationship, pranks, non-descriptive nudity

Word Count: 800

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

John briefly licks the pad of his thumb before counting out the appropriate amount of pound notes.

“This enough?” he asks, presenting it to you.

It’s more than enough. “Plenty. Thank you, John.”

He leans forward a bit, and you eagerly greet him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Drawing back, you give him your best smile. But beneath the grin is a trick.

You want to mess with him a bit.

“I have a new waxer,” you shrug, adding the cash to your wallet. “Cheryl put in her notice.”

Cheryl did not put in her notice. That woman probably won’t retire until she dies.

John inclines his head, already turning away. “That’s too bad. You liked her.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, grabbing your purse. “They’ve put me with someone new. A Mark? Mike? No—Marcus? I think.”

John freezes. He slowly turns back, cheeks bright red. “What?”

“It starts with an ‘m’,” you muse.

“Your new waxer is a man?”

“Yes,” you shrug. “And?” John’s face resembles a beet. “Everything good?”

“Where does Cherly work now?”

“John—”

He grabs his phone from his pocket and starts tapping away at it. "I want to know if she accepts walk-ins."

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Kyle's hand slowly runs over your newly waxed skin. "Look at you. So soft and smooth." His touch makes you shiver.

"You paid for it," you murmur.

"I did," smiles Kyle, head dipping.

His tongue makes contact, and you release a moan. It’s slightly distracting, but not enough to detract from you poking at him.

“Had a new waxer,” you sigh as Kyle goes in for another taste.

“Did you?” he asks absently, more interested in your new smoothness.

“A man, actually. Undergoing training. There were two of them in the room.”

Kyle's head snaps up. "What?"

"Why'd you stop?" you whimper.

"There were two men that waxed you?"

“No, Kyle. Just one.”

A series of emotions pass over Kyle's face. His mouth opens. Closes. And then his hand forms a fist, fingers flexing and relaxing as he mulls over something.

"Everything okay?" you ask, suddenly worried.

“Can’t be that hard.” Kyle pushes away from the couch and reaches for his phone. “Or expensive.”

“What can’t? Kyle. What are you talking about?”

You lean forward and see him adding a waxing kit to his online shopping cart.

“No,” you say firmly. “You’re not putting hot wax anywhere near my vagina.”

John "Soap" MacTavish

"Oh, what's this?"

Johnny's hands are on your thighs and then beneath your skirt in a moment.

"Johnny!"

"Is this for me? You don't have to. You know I like a good adventure through the woods."

"Johnny!" you say again, slapping his arm playfully as his fingers lightly squeeze, making your squirm in his grasp.

"Was this on my dime?" he asks.

"Maybe."

"Oh, aye. Am I gonna find an unknown charge?"

"With a tip. A large tip. My waxer deserved it. He did a good job."

"Oh, they—he?"

"Yes. That a problem?"

Johnny's hands don't retreat but he's staring at you—hard. You arch an eyebrow and he finally speaks. "Your waxer is a man?"

No.

"Yes."

Johnny nods and then he leans in, lowering his voice. “You’re taking the piss.”

“I’m—”

“I saw your location. I checked it out. They don’t have a single male employee in that place.”

Your face grows hot.

Johnny’s hands squeeze a bit harder, and then he lands a brief smack against the curve of your ass. “Lying to me, love?” Johnny tsks. He palms the curve of your ass where it stings. “Suppose I should punish you.”

“Maybe you should.”

Simon "Ghost" Riley

You reject the call and clutch your phone to your chest. You've messed up. Royally. Pranking Simon is always a terrible idea.

The texts were just a tease. Just a way to push Simon’s buttons.

I have a new waxer.

I thought it would be one of the other ladies.

But no!

It was a guy!

Your phone buzzes again and you nearly throw it across the room. It’s Simon. You decline the call. Everything is quiet for a few brief seconds before a text message from him comes through.

Answer your phone.

You click out a reply.

I'm in the car!

His reply comes instantly.

You're at home. I know your location.

Another incoming call. This one you answer.

"Simon,” you say flatly.

"What location did you go to?" he asks, voice rough with tension.

"Why?" you counter.

"What's his name?" he snaps.

"I know what you're doing, Simon.”

You always forget just how deep his possessive streak goes.

Silence. Then, "I just want to talk."

"Simon.”

He growls your name in warning.

"You don't need to go there. Just...come home. You can see the results for yourself."

He sighs. "I'll be there in ten. Be ready for me."

taglist:

@glitterypirateduck @km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @cherryofdeath @ferns-fics

@tulipsun-flower @miss-mistinguett @ninman82 @eternallyvenus @no-oneelsebutnsu

@marispunk @smileykiddie08 @whisperwispxx @chaostwinsofdestruction @weasleytwins-41

@saoirse06 @unhinged-reader-36 @ravenpoe67 @sageyxbabey @mudisgranapat

@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @yawning-grave81 @azkza @nishim

@voids-universe @iloveslasher @sadlonelybagel @haven-1307 @itsberrydreemurstuff

@cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @blackhawkfanatic @sammysinger04

@kylies-love-letter @dakotakazansky @suhmie @kadeeesworld @umno-yeah

@daemondoll @jackrabbitem @lxblm @arrozyfrijoles23 @lovely-ateez

@ash-tarte @enarien @gingergirl06 @greeniegreengreen @certainlygay

[see-arcane]

I have been possessed by a stronger than average craving for tinkering with Jonathan Harker's genders (Jonders). Jonathan Harker is undeniably and forever my favorite gothic heroine. But, being that there is so much to chew on regarding his potential fluidity when it comes to gender roles within the story--the classic damsel, the willingly submissive half of the couple, the vengeful berserker, etc--it's got me thinking.

Let's take the metaphor out. What would happen to the Dracula narrative if Jonathan Harker was...

First thing's first--she almost definitely gets shouldered out of the Important Solicitor's position due to reasons of Being Girl. But she still has to get to Transylvania to be menaced by Count Bat Bastard. How?

Hawkins! Johanna is working at the firm as a secretary and personal assistant to a still very paternally mushy old Peter Hawkins. When Dracula's request comes around, he can't give up such a lucrative client over his gout and there's no one he trusts to pass it to. He has to go. And it'd only be right to treat his surrogate daughter to a paid scenic vacation have his aide along on the business trip. Especially when she hunted down Carfax Abbey herself! What a lovely outing they'll have.

...or not.

True to form, Count Dracula is very much not to be trusted around pretty young things of any kind. Considering his canon habits, things aren't about to go any easier for Miss Harker. But at least she has Hawkins watching out for her in-person! It all makes for some very tense talk when discussing anything other than the estate purchase; which Hawkins seems as keen to rush as Dracula is to dawdle over. But at least they'll be out of here soon. What's a couple of awkward nights, right?

One in particular has Johanna nervous as she goes to bed. Hawkins had taken Dracula aside with a hard smile, insisting there was a 'delicate matter' he wished to speak with the Count about. The last time a 'delicate matter' was brought up was when he nearly lobbed a typewriter at one of his ex-solicitor's heads for some distinctly unseemly behavior in her direction. She hopes there isn't a storm brewing under their host's roof. She hopes harder that tomorrow they'll be heading back to the Borgo Pass.

Instead:

Oh.

Oh no.

Between this and one requisite nightmare-week in which the joys of womanhood come and go--let's leave it unspoken whether her set of bloodstained cloths stay in her possession or not--Johanna gets put through the wringer. Per usual. But eventually..!

Yeah. No shock there. Deep calming breaths, Jack. Don't let the wonderful diary concuss you.

Part of being one of two (gasp) G I R L S in the Scooby Gang, Van Helsing and company vote Johanna and Mina out of the dirt hunt. Except. Well. Johanna is still necessary to have on the ground here. She's the only one with the location intel--and a surprise willed gift of inheritance and the firm from poor Hawkins, who the Transylvanian locals all vouch for as being 'slain by wolves,' leaving Johanna free of blame--so she's still running around for the crew.

Even so, odds are high that she initially gets sidelined with Mina. Which isn't overly awful. It is good to be side-by-side in this timeline! No needless sequestering from each other! Johanna is already planning to see Mina back to their new house before they have to sleep another night in an asylum.

And then comes the 3rd of October.

Van Helsing: "Madam Harker, is it not somewhat attention-catching to wear trousers in public? We are meant to be unremarkable while we wait on th--"

Johanna, has already smoked through two cigars, kukri in her lap, playing a game of chicken with God: "Do you think I scaled a mountain in three layers of skirts, Professor? No? Then I will not do the same if the rancid bastard tries to escape out the window."

Van Helsing, aside: "Friend John, can you speak sense to her?"

Jack, melting off the side of the bench: "I think I hauve consumption"

Anyway. She very much does get to the Dracula head chopping. And there will be much rejoicing. BUT all that grimdarkness aside, there are other, more hijinks-flavored opportunities to think of with this particular set up. If only because I genuinely believe that Lucy and Art, having two spare best friends on hand and a general vibe that radiates 'ooooh what if triple wedding???', would come up with the following master plan. Some truly Shakespearean folly kind of shit:

Thankfully, Johanna and Mina nix the idea pretty quick. Case in point:

And, last but not least, my final word on the range of Jonders that exist within my very best gothic heroine friend:

ha ha I do that

[celestialprincesse]

I love poly 141 x (fem/afab)reader way too much, so what if reader finds out that she’s pregnant? Like me personally I love it when I’m reading a silly lil fic and the fmc hides her pregnancy until it’s a bit noticeable but like obvi they’d have really good trust in each other, reader would tell them after she misses her period and she’s taken a test etc etc :D

Too many thoughts on this so sorry if it doesn’t make sense LOL

-R

YES YES YES YES I especially love when her partner sort of notices something is up, but doesn't push until she's ready to tell, even though he probably found the test in the bin or something🤭🤚

The main problem with keeping secrets in your relationship? John. Captain John Price.

He's always been hyper vigilant towards your needs - towards every minute aspect of your life. He knows how stressful it can be to not only share your home with four people, but four stressed, grumpy, massive military men with a penchant for eating you out of house and home? In his eyes you're a saint for putting up with all of them.

Because of this, he tries to streamline your day to day life as much as possible. The fridge stays stocked, as does the bathroom cabinet, always supplied with nice shampoos and conditioners, your favourite body lotion, and practically the entire sanitary product aisle of your local store.

The first red flag is the fact that the window during which you usually have your period has been and gone, and none of the new boxes of tampons he restocked have been opened.

He doesn't think much of it though, rationalising that maybe it's just late, or that you'd had some leftover from last month that you'd used up. Later on though, when Kyle comes home to you bent double over the kitchen sink, hurling up your guts, concerns raise substantially. He'd only been coming in to grab the charger for his laptop when he'd heard the ruckus, and promptly called for a day off to look after you.

You soon realise what's up, and promptly shit yourself when you realise that you're carrying a baby with four potential dads. Like Mamma Mia but so much worse - and with far less wonderful Greek architecture and bright sunshine.

The boys all manage to work it out before you do, especially when you cry until Simon takes you to your local drive-thru for burger pickles and a milkshake. Just burger pickles and a milkshake. They're all surprisingly calm about the fact that you're pregnant, albeit slightly concerned that they should maybe nudge you in the right direction, seeing as you try to go about day-to-day life when you can't even smell cheese without barfing.

When you do eventually stalk into the living room with a pregnancy test in hand, and a sheepish look on your face, they try their hardest not to act surprised, even though they've already been going through paint samples for the nursery, wondering which one you'll like best - and they hope, for your sake, that it's a girl. God forbid there's any more testosterone in your house.

[tinylilacbun]

Sunburn

Request: The second one would be at the beach!! Brother!jj keeps warning his sister to apply sunscreen but she doesn't want to listen and at the end of the day she got sunburns and cries to her brother and jj would be like "i told you, you ain't listening to me" but somehow will still applying after sunscreen, or a cream to ease her pain <33

Pairing: brother!jj maybank x toddler!sister!reader

Warnings: sunburn, fluff, not proofread cause I'm tired :3

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ♡ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

"We gonna go swim now?" You ask excitedly, holding JJ's hand and skipping by his side.

"Sure thing, squirt." He smiles at her, waiting for Kie to spread out the blanket before placing the cooler onto it together with the bag that was slung over is shoulder that had all necessities for you in it, such as snacks, your floaties, towels, etc.

You quickly get out of your shirt and shorts, revealing your swimsuit that had a turtle printed on the front, a gift you got from Kie on the first day of summer.

As JJ was rummaging through the bag for something specific you already took of running but didn't get far when he circles an arm around your body without even looking.

"Ah, ah, ah. Nice try." He chuckles, pulling out the sunblocker. "Didn't we forget somethin'?"

You make a grimace, shaking your head. "Don't need it! It's stinky."

"Trust me, ya would rather stink than have a sunburn later." He retorts, sighing when you didn't stop wriggling in his hold.

"Don't want it!" You whine loudly, pushing at his face so he would let you go.

He reluctantly let's go of you, dropping the sunblocker onto the blanket. He catches your wrist again as you were about to bolt after John B and Pope who were already jogging towards the water with their boards.

"Floaties." He reminds her, getting them out of the bag.

You huff but let him slid them over your arms, knowing that these are not up for discussion as you still can't swim without them.

"Can I go now?" You ask impatiently.

"Go." He waves you off, shaking his head with a smile as you dart off, shouting after you. "Stay close to JB or Pope!"

Kie had just finished getting out of her own clothes, smirking at the blonde. "She'll have one hell of a sunburn later."

JJ groans, grabbing your discarded clothes and dusting off from the sand before putting them in the bag for later. "Don't remind me but she gotta learn from it somehow."

Kie nods, reaching into her own bag and tossing a bottle of aloe vera at him. "You'll need that later."

"Thanks. You're a lifesaver." He smiles.

After a while of swimming and JJ helping you stand on his board a few times where you fell in the water a few time because he accidently shook the board you were now back on the sand, building castles with Kie while the boys did their thing.

Your sand castle was decorated with all kinds of shells, sticks, and leaves that you both collect from the beach.

Kie grimaces a little when she sees your back already in a light shade of red but continues to help you.

Soon enough the boys came out of the water for a snack and drink break. JJ whistles you over to him, holding out a juice box for you which you happily take. "Thank you."

He ruffles your hair and glances at your self made castle. "Whoa, that's a lit castle, cupcake."

You beam at that, smiling brightly. "You think so?"

"'Course I do. Y'think we can live in there?" He asks and you giggle.

"We too big for that, silly."

Later in the afternoon the pogues were sitting outside the Chateau with a crinkling fire, a few beers and some music while you were inside getting ready for bed.

JJ could hear you crying before you even came out, throwing his head back with a sigh. "There we go."

"Jay..." You sniffle, trotting over to him and tucking yourself into his side.

"What's wrong, hm?" He asks despite knowing the answer not even rubbing your back like he usually does when you're upset, knowing it would only hurt with the possible sunburn you definitely must have.

"It hurts!" You whimper against his bicep.

"What hurts? You gotta be specific, kiddo."

"My back." You mumble and he turns you around, lifting your shirt just enough to see your irritated skin.

"Damn, that's a nasty sunburn." He winces, turning you back around to face him. "I told ya this would happen."

The way you were looking at him with big teary eyes makes him soften and he stands up, picking you he carries you back inside and to the bathroom.

He sets you down on the toilet lid, patting your head. "Stay here, I'll be right back."

He leaves to retrieve the aloe vera cream Kie gave him earlier, rushing back to the bathroom. JJ grabs under your armpits to hoist you into a standing position, pulling your shirt over your head.

"Turn around. I promise it'll feel better soon." He instructs and starts to apply a good amount aloe vera onto your back, cooing softly when you whimper from the sudden coldness. "I know, I know."

As soon as he was done you turn back around still sniffling, reaching your arms out for him and he instantly scoops you up, swaying with you from side to side.

"Better listen to me next time."

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ♡ ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

@chimindity

Taglist

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @aagn360 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @fluffyblanketgecko @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse @kissforvoid

For JJ:

@chiaraanatra

[princessmaybank]

Hearts At War : Part 1

Pairings: Dark!Rude!JJ x Kook!Fem!Reader, Enemies to Lovers

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol, Weed, etc.

Summary: Sarah drags you to a kegger, where you see your old pal JJ.

Author's Note: My first series!!!

"Of course I'm sure! They'll love you!" Sarah exclaimed. She was dragging me to a kegger held by her pogue friends. I only knew a handful of pogues and they were all rude to me when I tried my hardest to be nice. Going into this I told her it's not a good idea but you can't really argue with Sarah Cameron.

We finally reached the boneyard and it was packed. I saw a bunch of people I knew. Friends would try to stop me to talk but Sarah kept pulling me until we reached a fire pit. I only knew one person at that fire.

"C'mon Sarah why'd you bring her?!" The hard-headed boy with blonde tousled hair complained. That was JJ Maybank, my sworn enemy since 5th grade when he pushed me on the playground. JJ has made every moment we spent together a living nightmare from then on. He was a little asshole then and an even bigger one now. "Get the fuck over it JJ! She's a nice girl!" Sarah stood up for me before introducing me to John B, Kie, Cleo, and Pope. None of them had a problem with me, we even had some great conversations so far, but the entire time someone kept quiet while their eyes dug into my soul.

"I'm gonna grab another drink." I whisper to Sarah before standing. "Oh no...leaving us so soon?" JJ's face and tone was covered in fake sadness. He pretended to pout when I stood. "Don't you worry Maybank, I'll be back soon. Don't miss me too much." I give him a fake smile and head to the keg to grab another beer. When I get there I notice the operator was even more intoxicated than most of the people here. I tried to pour it myself but he fought with me until he accidentally sprayed me with the booze. I had no choice but to walk back to Sarah and her friends. Hopefully someone had a spare shirt or something.

When I got back everyone looked at me concerned while JJ cackled at my appearance. "You're supposed to put the drink in your mouth." He continued laughing. At this point I was extremely annoyed and snapped. "You would know about shoving things in your mouth wouldn't you?" I practically shut him up and caused everyone around us to laugh. Sarah turned to me and asked what happened. Of course I explained what happened to everyone and they felt bad. I got a bunch of 'sorry's' and 'i don't have a spare shirt' comments. "Hey I think there might be a shirt in the Twinkie." John B announced. "Why would a shirt be in a dessert?" I asked confused and everyone laughed at me. "That's what he calls his van." Kie giggled. "Oh, well if you're okay with it-" I was cut off. "Wait- that's my shirt in there. Hell no!" JJ protested. "It's the property of the Twinkie now." Pope shrugs causing everyone to let out a small laugh. JJ looked like he was going to argue some more so I stopped him in his tracks. "I don't want your damn shirt Maybank. I'd rather reek of alcohol for the rest of my life." My eyes rolled as I crossed my arms. I meant what I said, I don't need his shirt.

I needed to get away from them for a little bit, so I went through the crowd and mingled with a few guys. Every one of them even more boring than the last. Even when I did find someone I was interested in, I got shot down. I wanna blame it on my alcohol stained clothes but I'm not sure. When I started walking back to the fire pit, I heard the most annoying voice call out to me. "Striking out?" JJ chuckled as he took a hit from his joint. He was leaned up against a tree, really trying his best to look like a bad boy. "You're stalking me now Maybank? Don't know if I should be scared or flattered." I cross my arms and give attitude. He rolls his eyes and takes another hit. "Oh shut up, why would I stalk you of all people?" He questioned. "You tell me. Why did you know I was 'striking out'?" I say with air quotes. "Oh you were? Lucky fuckin' guess." JJ took another hit then blew his smoke in my face.

"You're such a fucking dickhead!" I huff. JJ simply smiles at me. His fingers slowly brought the joint to his lips and before he could inhale, I stole it from his hand. It met my lips before he could complain and I walked away.

I found myself back at that fire pit where Sarah was now sitting on John B's lap with her tongue down his throat. Pope and Cleo were talking so I turned to Kie. "What is his problem?" I ask her while staring at the blonde who is currently shotgunning a beer with another Pogue. "Honestly? You. I don't know what you did to the boy, but he hates your guts. Always has." Kie spoke as she took the joint from my fingers.

"I didn't do anything. He's been a little dickhead for years and it just keeps getting worse." I say resting my elbows on my knees. "Maybe you should ask him why he acts like that." Kie shrugs. "He would rather spit in my face and toss me in the ocean." She laughed which caused my own to creep up on me. I look back over to the blonde who was already looking at me.

That's weird...

I could've sworn I just saw JJ Maybank staring at me..

[starberry-cupcake]

WE'RE DONE WITH BOOK 2!!! THIS IS IT!!! Time for one last recap for Harrowcita ♥

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 52

last we've seen of Team Gideon (this is Team Gideon, Team Harrow is coming and going from the river rn), mercygirl had decimated dr reverend emperor john

popped him like a piñata

mercygirl and augustine start talking about how everything's gonna go directly to shit now without the guy, since the houses existed because of him, etc.

they have some sort of hope on finding somewhere they can go stay at, maybe

they hug and augustine says something like he wants to be buried beside her, so they can hate each other eternally

I love what they've got going on tbh they're soulmates in hate, new form of eternal bond just dropped

gideon the first is about to tell them something, but they're interrupted by light

gideon starts describing that red dust becomes blood and then becomes body things and I'm like "nonononononono"

BUT I'M NOT THAT LUCKY

GUESS WHO'S BACK

DOCTOR REVEREND EMPEROR JOHN IS NOT DEAD

LPM [in south american spanish]

packing back all my celebratory party supplies

so he immediately murders mercygirl upon returning

rip girl, you really tried and that's more than I can say for a lot of people

who are in this room rn

emperor asshat takes mercy's robe from her body and puts it on

he says "hope the sixth house didn't get cooked in the flare"

"I never like cleaning house all at once, but it seems as though I have to, don't I ?"

so...is this a frequent thing? killing all your lyctors? replacing them with others by making them slurp their cavaliers once in a while? acting like there's no other way around it?

the emperor does that asshole thing

he starts asking them if they'll be loyal to him and, if they say no, he's gonna kill them

all very democratic and whatnot

apparently beasts can't kill him and he was acting afraid, in case you needed more reasons to hate him and whatnot

he calls gideon the first "gideon episode one", so that's also a genetic trait, aside from the eyes

gideon the first says he's gonna be loyal

gideon the first is taking things very calmly, but we'll see what's going on with that in a sec

also, the emperor asked gideon the first to kill harrow

because he's still buying numbers for the ass-kicking raffle I've got going on

it isn't at all a surprise, not just because another addition to the silver platter of bullshit he has done, at this point, doesn't really change much, but also because he was not doing anything about the harrow-aimed violence at any point, so

gideon (ours) goes "go to hell, pops"

he's bummed about gideon the first "killing" wake and is going to spare gideon's life, even if she doesn't want to be loyal to him

yandere twin pledges loyalty (we'll come back to this later)

and augustine goes "fuck you, john"

those aren't his words but that's what I heard in my head when I read it

then, the entire emperor's bolthole starts tilting to the side and in goes the whole thing into the river

at this point, I was remembering that the emperor mentioned there was a layer in the river, in the cylinder schematics mercygirl had drawn, in which he was powerless

so I was hoping and wishing for this to be the plan

gideon the first takes our gideon, trying to save her from the whole river situation, since she isn't a necro and there's not much she can do about it

so, since the emperor's bolthole went straight into the river, they've entered with their whole body, soul and etc.

fully dressed in flesh

gideon the first goes "wish he'd given me the packet"

???????

augustine and the emperor are wrestling homoerotically into the river

with yandere twin trailing behind them

so gideon asks gideon Sr to do something, since he's a necromancer

and gideon Sr says he isn't actually gideon Sr....

IT'S PYRRHA THE CAVALIER

turns out gideon Sr died in the fight against the beast

battle he was fighting with "mad sweetheart matthias"

♥

pyrrha has been living in gideon Sr this whole time, kinda like gideon and harrow, but with less finesse

and pyrrha ALSO had an affair with wake using gideon Sr's body

but there's no time to unpack the insane amount of luggage gideon is gaining from this whole encounter with her entire family tree

because augustine's plan was indeed to throw the emperor into the bit of river he can't defend himself in

but the entrance looks a bit like this thing from inuyasha, only that's a lot bigger

augustine and the emperor are still homoerotically pulling each other on their way down to the mouth, that's extending tongues to lick at them

it's probably a familiar scenario for them, only in a bigger scale

gideon and pyrrha are trying to decide if they wanna die by a bullet, by this whole thing that's going on in here or in the river

according to pyrrha, gideon's mom would have taken the bullet

but not gideon

gideon is gonna see this thing through, dammit

she's also having an existential crisis the size of the emperor's bolthole because life was simple before, it was just harrow and the dusty ninth, and now there's a family tree, she's a child of multiple divorces and she was born to blow up

so, gideon sees that yandere twin is close to augustine and dr rev emperor john, which means she can probably help augustine out and push the emperor in

BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE DOES, NO

NO NO NO NO

WHAT SHE DOES

IS TO BE THE WORST

OF COURSE, YOU VALIDATION-SEEKING ASSHOLE, OF COURSE YOU'RE GONNA DO THAT

"uwu you're the emperor's favorite, harry" "at least augustine pays attention to me, harry" "the emperor loves you, harry" "you have it easy because you're the emperor's pet, harry"

GET OUT OF MY FACE YOU TRAITOROUS THIRD HOUSE ATTENTION-SEEKING TIM-BURTON-BLONDE-AND-PALE LEAD

YOU AND CHAD CAN GO STRAIGHT TO THE FANG-FILLED MOUTH OF HELL

I'M FUMING

I'M GONNA BITE HER ARM OFF AND RIP IT FROM HER BODY ALL OVER AGAIN

AND I'M GONNA SPIT IT RIGHT AT THE EMPEROR'S FACE

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE RECAP

gideon is being very poetic about harrow in what she thinks might be the last moments of her life

again

"at the end of everything, if it was going to be you and me, layered over each other as we always were"

♥

but in comes ice cube barbie to...save the day?????

idk, at this point

people's intentions are blurry

"your bullshit dead girlfriend had come to claim you"

gideon says she speaks "in the wrong voice twice removed" and that she's trying to do CPR on her

to some extent, because her sternum is shattered, apparently

or harrow's, I guess

so, who knows what's gonna come out of this

CHAPTER 53

this one happens half an hour before the other stuff

for the timeline that I'm still somewhat keeping, hanging by a thread, as is my sanity

Team Harrow is currently just consisting of harrowcita, the reverend kitten, and real!dulcinea

the super important info real!dulcinea said she needed to tell harrow is that what's using harrow's body isn't a spirit or a revenant

her body isn't being puppeted, something is moving it around and it isn't a fragment or a ghost

because it doesn't feel like awake will the real slim shady please stand up

is this gideon???? does it mean gideon is more than a ghost?????

real!dulcinea is like "idk what you can do with that info but that's not up to me anymore, bye~"

and harrow goes "there's a difference between keeping a shred of dance card and saving the last dance"

IS THIS HOPE???? ARE WE HANGING ONTO HOPE????

I SURE AM

so, into the river goes harrow

(if you wanna reblog onto better things harrow, this is the post)

there's the corridor from the last time

and she ends up in the locked tomb

always back to the tomb

wonder why the series is called that

but there's nobody in the actual tomb

chains are broken and there's the two-handed sword that the sleeper waker slasher awake love the way you lie had with her

harrow goes to mimir in the tomb

but in she finds...

P*RN

apparently it's a gideon originally imagined piece of high quality fifth house erotica

of course it is

EPILOGUE

six months after the "emperor's murder"

I DON'T THINK HE'S DEAD THOUGH

YANDERE TWIN DECIDED TO RUIN THINGS BECAUSE SHE CAN'T DEAL WITH AUTHORITY REJECTION OR WHATEVER

DON'T MAKE ME GET INTO THIS AGAIN

MY BLOOD PRESSURE CAN'T TAKE IT

sixth house skull though, we love to see that

so there's a "she"

who is being taken care of by three people

one is teaching her how to do necromancy, another how to use a sword and another is taking care of her

maiden, mother and crone

my first bet was judith, regina george twin and camilla

undetermined, though

idk why judith would be helpful, but those are three people we know of that were alive and kickin'

they're eating nice food but when a vendor makes a comment about how "she" should have been hurt by the hot food and she wasn't, they decide to ghost that vendor forever

they're somewhere around soldiers and gunfights

this "she" perspective then starts waxing poetic about the person who takes care of her

and asks "have you worked out who I am?"

and CAMILLA answers "not yet"

WHAT A HOPEFUL THING TO END WITH

THE BOOK ENDS WITH A LIE, THOUGH????

"the tomb will open in alecto the ninth"

gonna have to wait a whole other book for the tomb to open, I guess

harrow's taking a long nap

she deserves it

@lady-harrowhark told me the situation of the book releases when I mentioned how I thought this was a trilogy that had ended and she had to give the "oh, sweet summer child" explanation

who the fuck is nona though

is this "she" nona? maybe it is

she's smiling in the cover, which is already an oddity, but if she's been taking care of by camilla, that's a good reason to smile forever

I NEED TO STOP THEORIZING

ANYWAY, this is it for Harrowcita Del Nueve!!!! The adventure continues, though, because the hiatus I went in allowed me to get Nona beforehand and I already have a cute bookmark for her that my sister gifted me. See you in the next one!!!!

[plaidos]

what are your thoughts on why a lot of trans fans refuse to portray Roxy as transmasculine when he is in canon? i've noticed a lot of people who correctly gender June and point out her transfem centered symbolism and arc in the later bits of HS/epilogues, will still ignore that part of Roxys arc in the same text and even argue against acknowledging it, like i've made a couple of meta posts about Roxys relationship with Calliope in the epilogues and gotten the replies full of hs2 fans making fun of using he/him for him and outright saying things like "Roxys a girl, don't be a freak." when like that's not even what the posts about i am just talking about his relationships while using the pronouns the text is using for him! like obviously this isn't a transphobia thing, again, it's generally fans that aren't transphobic and actively acknowledge June, and frankly i doubt a transmasc character would be the rhetorical target of transphobes for homestuck specifically, its a transfeminine work by a transfeminine author and that would be the angle of attack there. it seems to be something about Roxy and his arc specifically, something that's really confusing or upsetting to a large portion of the fandom, that doesn't have to do with him being trans but means its difficult to see him as a nonwoman anyway. but i can't put my finger on it--i am wondering if it has something to do with Mom and her place in the story, especially Rose's relationship to her?

it's because before The Homestuck Epilogues, transfem Roxy Lalonde was a very common reading of the character. i would say that back in the day even the majority of cis fans had heard/enjoyed this reading, but it was especially ubiquitous in the transfem portion of the fanbase (who are/were a huge huge slice of the fandom) and there's a lot of evidence that she was written/coded as a trans woman in Homestuck 1 -- she's a hacker/gamer girl with a rifle, has themes of motherhood through unconventional & untraditional means, her introduction page even calls the last two letters of her name "chromosomic" when her name is revealed; there's the whole relationship to Callie (who absolutely 100% was supposed to be transfem in HS1) etc etc. so it's a totally supported and hard to deny reading.

a lot of longtime homestuck fans, especially HS1 fans, were quite taken aback by such a high presence of character moments & motivations in post-canon that are very contrary or even totally opposite to how the fandom interpreted them previously -- see Jane, Jade, Dirk, etc. now in some ways i think The Homestuck Epilogues (and HS2/HSBC) are intentionally choosing to tell stories that are very very different to what the fandom anticipated to the degree that it might even be considered anti-fan -- i think THE/HS2 is very much engaging with what it "means" for something to be anti-fan, and whether or not a story should just be whatever the fans demand (spoiler: it shouldn't), so i think to a lot of people transmasc Roxy didn't come off as an interesting progression of the character, but an intentional spit in the face of all those transfem fans who had been talking about how she was transfem for years. for what it's worth i completely disagree with this take (i think i heard somewhere that transmasc Roxy happened because a member of the team was a fan of the headcanon, which makes sense) but i'm not also surprised that some of the transfem fans felt this way. tbh i have mixed feelings on it -- i really like some of the stuff they've done with him, but i think a lot of the other stuff has not really approached a Homestuck trans-coming-out-story in a super interesting way.

i think, similarly, a lot of these transfem fans are upset that the (100% intentional, 100% canon) transfem-coding of June has been ignored by the majority of the TME fandom (many of whom elect to portray John as transmasc) so i can't say i don't understand why they feel justified in doing the exact same thing back to Roxy -- transfem June had been planned for longer than transmasc Roxy, and there's a lot of evidence to suggest that Andrew saw Roxy as transfem in HS1 to begin with. i'm very sympathetic to transfem fans who felt hurt that the one universally-agreed-upon transfem headcanon was snatched away from them & given to the same transmascs who deny June is supposed to be trans, but i also feel happy for all the transmasc Homestuck fans who got to see themselves in their favourite character. i really like Meat Roxy and i'm excited to see what they'll do with him. i especially like how his pronouns changed over time, getting his style tips from Dave, and still using the same name & letting Dave call him mom. this all feels really authentic, i just wish they would do anything more interesting than like... baby's first fandom transmasc reading. it feels like after Roxy's gender journey, his entire character halted imo.

also i love what they do with Roxy in Candy; i think it's really clever and one of the only parts of transmasc Roxy that is fully really utilising the medium to tell interesting & fresh stories about gender & transition.

[cassiopeiathe1st]

so as a biology major, here's some things i've been chewing on after reading the unwanted guest. this post is brought to you by the part of my brain that saw the 7th's hereditary blood cancer and thought ok but what KIND of cancer is that.

the phrasing of "permeability of the soul" makes me think of semipermeable membranes and diffusion. diffusion is a passive process -- our molecules, when left to their own devices, want to be everywhere because entropy, but the semipermeable membranes that make up cells organelles etc make life possible by keeping things organized. this dividing & filtering process is required to keep things in place. with me so far?

to me, this concept of permeability emphasizes that souls are objects with boundaries. there's a line somewhere, however blurry (clearly very very blurry) or porous, that divides self & other, and! and!! that line only exists because it is somehow constructed, maintained, enforced. see: ianthe working so hard to convince herself/pal/the hypothetical audience of this play she's putting on that she's just ianthe with no babs mixed in. or john's ritual of retelling his story to alecto/harrow in NTN. something something being the unreliable narrator of your own identity.

palamedes calls the process that merges him and camilla to give us paul grand lysis vs. the "petty", incomplete lysis of eightfold word lyctorhood. lysis = the disintegration of a cell by rupture of the cell wall or membrane. the boundaries of their souls are sliced open so their contents can be poured out & mixed together to make someone new. but even in conventional lyctorhood, there's some kind of exchange of whatever material makes up the soul between cavalier & necromancer. as our boy tells ianthe at the end of the unwanted guest,

This is the real truth of Lyctorhood, Ianthe--it's not some bloodless swapping-out of batteries. It's grafting; transplantation. When you absorbed Naberius Tern's soul, you didn't swallow a diamond. You swallowed a piece of meat...and the longer you digest that meat, the more its proteins and lipids and molecules mix in with yours, until you can't tell them apart anymore.

idk where i'm even going with all of this, i'm just rotating it in my head, but:

tamsyn muir is so precise with her necromancy jargon & anatomical terms that i feel like there's definitely meaning to be found in the imagery here. there is poetry in biology, the universe is made of stories not of atoms, etc etc

it turns out lysis is also the title of a dialogue of plato on "the true nature of loving friendship," so if any classics enjoyers have thoughts on that connection i would love to hear them!

if lyctorhood is transplantation, is it possible for that transplant to be rejected? can the graft refuse to take?

souls are contained within their edges not unlike how a cell membrane contains its cytoplasm. or how a capri sun pouch contains its juice. and lyctors slurp that shit up and digest it baby

why choose to link the soul so closely with water? (the river, bubbles, currents & waves in the river, nona saying the water of the river "doesn't want to touch us.") contents of souls = liquid in the same way that the river is a liquid??? the river = spirit version of the primordial soup???

dulcinea refers to the river having two shores, not just a generic "shore", so it sounds like they're different in some meaningful way. but that may be conditional on what happens in alecto ("if this ends well you'll find that out")? is the point of the river the river itself, or is the point of the river to separate those two places?

[homestuckreplay]

John, Rose, Dave & Farmstink 💙💜❤️💚

(page 760-769)

WE'VE COLLECTED THE SET!! Jade Harley is a cool ass name. Jade, the bright green precious stone plus Harley, the motorbike, makes her sound like an edgy punk singer, not a flute playing gardener.

Dave was so active in his introduction, refusing to take any of the player's shit, but Jade is strikingly passive, deciding she doesn't even need to stick around. Her sleeping radically alters the player-narrator dynamic. With awake characters, the narrator turns their sarcastic insults (and the 'you' pronoun) towards that character ('your ARMS are in your MAGIC CHEST, pooplord!') Farmstink is asleep and can't be made fun of, so the narrator's abrasiveness is turned in full force against the player. It's them (us?) who's stupid for not seeing the arms, or for threatening to drop a pumpkin on an innocent sleeping child.

(Thanks, WV, for saving her just in time. It's good to see the other end of this closed, non-paradoxical time loop).

I love the narrator's reluctance to call Jade 'Farmstink' - do they genuinely not know Jade's name? They don't seem totally omniscient; I think they can only hear characters' active thoughts (including dreams - see p.651), nothing forgotten, concealed or just not on their mind.

The player's cursor returns for the first time in a while - maybe since John and Rose started playing Sburb (but I haven't verified this). Apparently, it follows the same rules as the Sburb cursor. The cursor can select and move objects (Jade's note; John's magic chest), but selecting a player is forbidden.

So where are we in Jade's timeline? On p.652, Jade says 'see i guess i fell asleep for a while and..... lost track of time', which from our perspective has just happened. This puts Jade behind John in the timeline, but not all the way back at the story's start - their other conversations about packages and meteors must have already happened.

Jade's 'deep passion for HORTICULTURE' combined with her mystical knowledge make gardenGnostic an apt chumhandle. An anonymous asker suggested that the titles (Heir of Breath, etc) could relate to what characters will do in the future - could the same be true for chumhandles? We have yet to see John play with slime or Rose summon a tentacle monster. Jade is so connected to the future that her chumhandle and title (guessing Seer of Light?) are things she's already doing.

Other thoughts:

Jade's handwriting is somehow exactly like her typing, it's so bright, fun and bubbly.

Jade is either changing REALLY fast or she has a magic shirt. On p.665 her shirt symbol was a simplified atomic diagram, when she wakes it's a pumpkin, and a moment later it's a leaf.

Jade has plants labeled 'peas', 'squash', and 'asparagus', all of which are the contents of WV's cans. Another link between these two?

Jade's music is 'silly' - not 'haunting', like all the other musicians.

I'm so impressed by this flute panel and the number of different animations within. 'L' is my favorite. Where is she going

> Jade: Look out of window at frog statue.

[ostendird-oddie]

Hoffrig: the guide to an underutilized ship

Hoffrig has a wierd placement in the fandom. Despite the pair getting pretty much a whole movie dedicated to their relationship, the ship stays relatively obscure, so it is my task today to bring it to light:

*History and Prelude*

These two have known eachother for some time now, most likely since the beginning. Mark is shown to care about Daniel, moreso than most people. He is worried about Rigg getting hurt. Even if his concern is a little backhanded, he sticks up for Rigg more than once and even attempts to comfort him somewhat (poorly of course, it's still Hoffman we're talking about)

*Compatibility*

Rigg is a much better person than Hoffman, no doubt, but Rigg was chosen for his game for a reason. He has a strong saviour complex (which they share with Mark, tho Mark's saviour complex takes on a much more horrifying form). Rigg is not afraid of getting his hands dirty when he believes the other person was let off too lightly (wife beater, Ivan, when Eric is beating up John etc). Mark sees that in him and believes that they are alike, so he tries to radicalise Rigg the only way he knows how to

*The wife shaped elephant in the room (and Eric Matthews)*

Daniel wouldn't cheat on Tracy. That's out of the question. He loves his wife, tho she suffers from saw typical hysterical unreasonable lady disease, where she has a valid point but delivers it in the worst way possible. Rigg takes his job very seriously. He truly believes himself to be a good cop. A man that helps people. Therefore he's moreso married to his job, then his actual wife. And being a SWAT guy... He probably doesn't have much time to have relationships outside of his job, so when he looses all his friends one by one his job wins the tug-of-war and tracy can't stand this anymore. I think user fate-motif put it best "i tend not to rock with rigg cheating on his wife but i think something people rarely discuss is that he's totally neglecting her emotionally already and even though he loves her the man is dropping the ball on his relationship and hoffman is the perfect embodiment of that neglect (he is both the missing cop he has to rescue and he is jigsaw)"

Rigg cares about Eric Matthews more than about Hoffman and arguably more than even about his wife. They are best friends so Hoffman kept him around as a sort of leverage over Dan. If he's not coming to save Hoffman, he's coming to save Matthews. And even before that Hoffman took up on the mission of filling the eric shaped hole in Daniels life to... Well. Mediocre success. Matthews for all his brooding and bad deeds is not an antisocial wierdo. He actually has friends and relationships outside of Rigg. There's a lot to explore in that dynamic but I won't be dipping into headcanons in this post (at least I'll try)

*Trial*

In order to become a jigsaw apprentice one must be tested. Amanda had the bear trap and arguably the uh... well we've all seen Saw 2 (the ammounts of anguish this poor gal had to go through) and Lawrence with his foot. Both were left in shambles and John put them back together haphazardly. But not Mark. Mark's trial was very milktoast. John basically let him go with a slap on the wrist. So he decided he could be more lenient towards Rigg. At least in terms of physical torment. There were no people who could put Rigg in any significant danger as a buff experienced SWAT guy. An argument could be made for the first woman but she was already bleeding out and in too much pain to think straight to think straight. Providing her with a knife was just to futher emphasize the point that she deserved what happened to her. Ivan is an obese bumbling coward. He didn't even try to fight back. I wont even explain the last pair because duh. Also a thing to note is that all of these games had something to do with sex or relationships in them. Very smooth Hoffman 😒

Ultimately Rigg not listening to Hoffman's earlier advise is what lead to his demise. And Mark put the gun in the hands of Matthews to absolve himself of the blame for Rigg's pain. Rigg wasn't indoctrinated and obedient at the end, so Mark left him to die. To be the fall guy. That leads me into my next bullet point-

*Peter Straham*

Ok im not a coffinshipper. At least not as of now and not a true one. I see hoffstraham as a logical continuation of hoffrig. Hoffman pulls almost the same tactics on Peter but instead of "reassurance" he uses intimidation and brute force. Straham is the manifestation of "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Mark settles for him as plan B because everyone he cared about are dead now. I don't believe mark tried to pull Straham into his murder cult out of any sense of affection or admiration for the guy. It all comes down to control again, something he is constantly fighting for. He doesn't like Straham but if he can't kill the bastard he'll find another way to shut him up.

I believe the glass coffin was originally intended for Rigg, in case he survived his trial, but Hoffman reused it for Peter in a last ditch effort to flex on the guy.

So uh ... I don't know how to end this post other than PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT THEM OMG I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS THAT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO FIT IN HERE 😭

[trashquisitor-shirozora]

*enables you* what happened with TLJ 👃

After all these years I still can't properly find words to explain how deeply betrayed I felt after the credits rolled and I shuffled out of the movie theater with everybody else. There was a TON of hype surrounding this movie, an absolute fuckton. I only saw positive reviews about it, the cast, the director, the plot. I got excited to see where Rian Johnson & Co. would take the ST.

The only remotely negative comment I saw before watching the movie was a fandom blog saying they didn't like what happened to Poe. Since this blog was about racism in fandom, I knew something was off. That was my only warning.

And y'know, it was like, five minutes in? Ten minutes? And Poe makes a "Yo mama" joke at Hux? I used to go into movies with an open mind and spent days gathering my thoughts about them because I was always slow to react, slow to gather my thoughts into coherent strings of words. It's how I enjoyed Michael Bay productions and JJ Abrams' love affair with lens flare. I never got actively angry with a movie I was watching, and I was fucking angry by the time the movie ended. I still remember texting a friend while standing out in front of the theater because I was so confused. The response to TLJ was so positive so why did I come out of the movie so frustrated and confused and dissatisfied with the whole thing?

It's been years and we all know how this movie divided the Star Wars fandom and just... broke Fandom Spaces in a way I never expected. We all know what TLJ did and didn't do, and how TROS provided the final nail in the coffin that was the ST experiment. But back then, all I saw was positive commentary about the themes and messages of TLJ, how it portrayed failure and the dangers of putting someone like Luke Skywalker on a pedestal, how the Force was female, how... important it was to see Poe get characterized as a hotheaded hotshot who needed to be demoted, slapped around, and stunned in order to learn some kind of lesson, how important it was to see Finn lose everything he gained in TFA so that he could relearn how not to be selfish or something while starring in a fucking incredibly tone-deaf B plot, how Rey... I'm not sure exactly what because she didn't need training anyway and then spent most of her time trying to bring Ben Swolo back to the light????? Rose was so promising as someone who grew up under the FO's thumb but she and Kelly were fucking abandoned by Disney so I don't know if Rose existing was actually a good idea if it meant giving Kelly unending trauma. Mark slipped up by calling Luke "Jake" and expressing his displeasure in front of cameras, and I was so fucking baffled and alienated by his character after knowing how his story ended in ROTJ that I couldn't connect with whatever lessons I and he are supposed to be learning. JJ set up Snoke like a mystery box and Rian just yeeted him off without so much as a fucking explanation so what was the point of that? Hux was a fucking joke. Phasma was barely there. The only character that Rian cared about was fucking Kylo Ren and Adam says years later that he was never supposed to get a redemption arc anyway.

Like, this was the movie everyone hyped up? This was the movie that didn't answer any questions left unasked by TFA and didn't bother to move forward with character development for any of the known characters? I spent money watching a slow space chase that ended on a planet made of salt and killed off Luke for Reasons? Am I stupid? Am I dumb? Am I a peasant incapable of understanding the masterpiece Rian directed, this so-called Best Star Wars Movie Since ESB?

But I couldn't say anything. I couldn't be dogpiled for hating such a empowering movie for women, a diverse and inclusive movie that had the likes of John and Kelly and Oscar. I couldn't be lumped in with the Star Wars dudebros with their raging misogynistic and racist takes on the movie, the cast, Kathleen Kennedy and Lucasfilm, Disney, etc. I couldn't be seen as one of them just because I didn't like a movie that I should like, I'm supposed to like. So I sat in silence, read meta, witnessed the fucking catastrophic explosion around some wild ass AO3 fandom essays written by a racist OG member of OTW about Finn/Poe, saw hate piled on black and bipoc fans, saw r*ylo fans come for John and John clap back at them, just saw an absolute fuckton of hate, and so by the time TROS came around I just... checked out. There was no way JJ could salvage what Rian had done and I was right. TROS was a corporate-run soulless garbage end to the Sequel Trilogy, but it ended just as The Mandalorian finished its first season and regained a lot of good will with this small story about a lonely Mandalorian bounty hunter who encountered a Force-sensitive Baby Yoda.

And then TBOBF/Season 3 of the Mando Show happened, just like how TLJ happened. All the promise, all the unanswered questions of the previous movie/season, all fucking dropped or provided with the worst, most unsatisfying answer. I'm sure others have found better answers and can live with what Star Wars gave us, but I haven't been able to. TLJ came out years and years ago, and I am still so bitter today. I'm still so bitter because TFA had such an incredibly compelling setup with such promising characters, and then TLJ Did That.

I got so heated while writing this. I'm still so mad. I'm still so bitter. I bury my head so deep in the sandbox I built for myself so that I don't have to think how Disney is twisting and contorting all these Mando'verse shows so that they all eventually lead to the ST, their precious hot potato child that just... didn't have to end the way they did if they actually had a fucking plan and fucking stuck the landing. I'll give the MCU this - their Phase 1? They fucking stuck the landing. I fell off the train tracks and haven't really watched the MCU since Captain Marvel, but at least they had a fucking plan and didn't fucking derail themselves like Disney did with the Sequel Trilogy.

I could be nice to people who like this movie but I'm not going to be. They can be nice on their own blogs.

Man, I can't even watch Knives Out or Glass Onion because my blood starts boiling. Just. TLJ did a lot to ruin what I hoped would be a positive and creative connection with Star Wars, and it took the Mando Show and the 2 minutes where Din and Luke locked eyes on the Imperial light cruiser to bring me back.

I'm gonna stop before I get way too heated for sleep.

[stormphantomnightingale]

https://www.tumblr.com/dcxdpdabbles/737569117273456640/there-are-so-many-fics-out-there-where-danny-is?source=share

So after reading this ☝️for the who knows how many time, when an idea or something just popped out. Now we all know that in this magnificent fandom(dpxdc) that Amity is a no go area right? Well what if and I mean what if the Bats after talking with sad trenchcoat man(Yes I called John that and no I will not stop thank you very much) about Amity, Conny goes hesteria cause he outdated and stuff or just didn't know King Phantom but yeah starts talking about Pariah Dark(who is redeemed or just in the dog house cause he pissed of clockwork), ghost zone being dangerous etc etc.

Now this makes the bats assume even more that our space boi Danny is not safe. So what they do? After idk bribing the judge or somehow provide 'proof' of abuse which makes the Fenton's lose custody(Danny is not happy), takes Danny to Gotham(via knockout cause my boi will go feral), then returns back to amity as the furry squad. Do some hacking shit but since they don't know Fenton tech and Fenton thinking(I genuinely believe the Fenton's are Hella smart like Hella smart it might piss of Lex) and probably set up the self destruction system(TUE vibes).[which to normal people is the portal closing shut permanently,data is gone or encrypted by which a Fenton can access idk it's your choice person who decides to read and write or see this interesting].

Now we can make it that either one adult comes back alive or survived the blow due to being heavily ecto contaminated or be a ghost but I'm hoping Maddie (and Jazz) cause guys lets be honest here. Maddie is a beast when it comes to her family and kids, I can tell through canon wise she will literally go through hell, Tartarus, hell even throw hands with some ancients just for her kids. But anyways one Fenton comes back, teams up with Vlad(could be poly or good asshole uncle Vlad) along with the Elinor or Elizabeth(Yes Dani's other name is Elizabeth or Elinor) and Dante to try get Danny back.

Now to our boi we love, care Danny. So we have suspicious, angry and so many emotion Danny Fenton-Wayne. So we Danny who was practically taken away from his safety, his home, family, his friads and into another on in America. Now we can all agree that Danny is not happy about this and not because of the -whole taking me away from my family and no I'm not being in denial they love me so stop talking u ancient poorly dressed furries- It's about something much bigger and we all know, we hate it, despised it and we call it.... ANTI ECTO ACTS or as I like to call THE REBOOT WITCH TRIALS.

So that abomination there is something Danny hates,fears so him being in America puts him in bootleg men in black because of a bitch named Lex Luthor. It's like painting a bullseye on him, a huge ass arrow pointing at him with the signs 'Im a ghost in America come cut me up'. So yeah its bad for him especially when he finds out the Wayne's are sponsoring The furry squad and the justice league which in turn make things worse for him and the ghost zone cause the ghost(and other supernaturals cause u can't tell me, once a vampire or mermaid find out humans are now hunting ghosts they wont immediately assume they are next? Let's cause mass panic with the other supernaturals, witches having PTSD, they tweeking seeing the acts)are demanding blood, war, retribution from the living. So he is in emeny territory trying to survive, try get back to his family and try to calm the other ghost cause they thought he died to the explosion(yeah Danny won't be okay)but never came to the ghost zone so vengeance for the king.

Welp that what came up in mind, u can ignore it, or whatever just thought I share something with yall. But yeah basically for the last paragraph I want maybe the Justice League to either face backlash or punishment for agreeing with the law, cause in most fics we don't get to see what the ghost think or if they forgave em. Cause while the humans(idk why I'm calling people human when I'm human as well) think the Justice league was writing a wrong most will question if this won't happen again. I want the supernatural to actively be upset with them especially those from the magic committee, to question whether they should be trusted seeing as this was a retry of the Salem Witch Trials Era. And to exactly be wary and suspicious of Bruce or just genuinly not trust or like him cause guys let's be fucking honest here while yeah the bats is awesome we forgot one thing he is human flesh and bones, something so fragile in the eyes of all supernatural that they can accidentally squish him because they used to much strength or smth. And suddenly some supernaturals are scared of him? They fear him because of what? His paranoia, his contingencies? Nah that should be a warning cause logically and I mean logically can u tell me straight in my face that u trust this man while knowing he stalks you 30/7, goes through Ur personally stuff without permission btw, breaks in your house when u were at a wrong time, wrong place?? Have either his kids pretend y'all are buddies or your lover just to keep u on a leash?.

And if we are going to do the Lazarus Pits is ectoplasm, then the bats are done for especially Jason. Cause I can tell once the ghost found out the league agreed to the acts be lawful they won't help, cause why help the ones that tried to eradicate them?(how u may ask? Well it's simple, some soon to be fading corrupted ghost escaped when the portal first opened causing massive damage, some deaths etc and maybe the other reason maybe the citizens first cause of the negatives in the show, public enemy number 1 so forth). So the league after failing formed the GIW and soon left Amity thinking the people will be 'safe')

One note, would it be funny if the League of Shadows find out about the Acts and Lazarus pit being ectoplasm and just had straight to Amity for protection and probably swear loyalties to the ghost zone since the be liminal asf lonly to be stopped by Maddie and after some good ol' fashion Fenton style shenanigans, Maddie is either adopted to be the new Demon head or is the demon head??

So yeah that's what came to mind, so tell me what u think.

[theriverbeyond]

Love your post about Gideon inadvertently breaking John's pattern of lashing out when she can't be used, and it made me wonder- what would John keeping the home fires burning for the Earth have looked like?

omg ty so much! ok so. things John could do to keep the home fires burning:

(tell the world) STOP (the war) the nuclear standoff. put those things away!!! better yet. destroy them.

let the trillionares go. they did it. it's done. your home is still here and can still be saved. let them go!!!!!!

MORE THAN THAT. if all the rich capitalists are the ones who ruined so many things, and now a bunch of them are GONE, then a lot of their influence is also gone!!! the oligarchs are gone baybey!!! John could step into the power vacum they left and force the hands of governments to like, do good things. force them to give everyone food and healthcare and stop fossil fuels. he could be a climate influencer online to dramatically influence the greater culture, instead of just doing that weird necro cult shit on twitch.

John cracked the code with the death of C--, and drank a BUNCH of deaths at the compound, so he Understands now. he wouldn't end up as powerful as he did when he Ate Alecto, but he cracked the code when he saw (& grabbed) the soul. this means he likely could...

BRING BACK HIS FRIENDS!!! The bodies are still there and he is literally holding the souls. bring them back and put the souls inside. they keep him sane and they love him and they have ideas

FEED EVERYONE. a big problem he mentioned was the planet running out of resources, but you're the lifedeath guy now. you cracked the CODE!!! it is time to go full jesus on the world. make wine from water and more bread from just one bread. take a fish and make it 100 fish. take an oil spill and turn it into nutrients for the fish. etc.

USE his new deathlife powers to do other things like, fix the oceans. fix the ozone. transform the big piles of garbage into something more readily taken by the sea. plant new sequioas and giant cacti and then accelerate their growth by 1000 years so they can provide for all their living things. inject biodiversity into endangered species and prevent their deaths by boats and deforestation etc. Yeah some of them might be teeth mutants, but when god sings with his creations, will a tooth mutant not be part of the choir?

to be evil but for the greater good, John could also kill and then puppet other world leaders and then more aggressively force institutional climate change, and end things like overfishing and Shein. i don't know if he is politically smart enough to finesse this but idk if he had his friends it could be a group effort. yeah he would still be one shade of evil dictator but it could NOT be worse than exploding the solar system.

i think the last point especially, like. in general, not exploding the world would be better than exploding the world. he could have done kind of a bad job of keeping the home fires burning and it would have still been way better than what he DID, which was kill everyone else and then himself