#purely self indulgent since I actually really like her demon form

[goated33]

(Lucifer voice) Chawlie

[angelic-serenade]

Alastor + disaster cook! S/O

headcanons

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

gif, original work and characters do not belong to me

you could not cook to save your life

any attempt at cooking would result in certain failure in the best case scenario and 5.4 magnitude earthquake damage in the worst

sure, you could make edible pasta and if you really put your best efforts into it, acceptable omelette too

but anything past that level of complexity was simply out of your league, a lost cause to put it mildly

don't you even think about making a cake, that shit's dangerous

as they say: as above so below

when you landed in Hell and found yourself joining the Happy Hotel soon after, you came to find out your culinary skills had not magically improved

which is quite ironic since Charlie had made you head chef of the hotel

the string of curses which had left your lips upon hearing the news had been legendary, even for Hell

you adored the demon princess with your whole heart (or whatever was left of it anyway), bUT REALLY CHARLIE? YOU DO NOT GIVE A GUN TO A CHILD AND EXPECT CASUALTIES NOT TO HAPPEN

at this point you were certain she was subconsciously auto-sabotaging

either way, you didn't have the heart to tell her no, so you decided to put your heart and soul into trying to learn how to properly cook, which didn't turn out to be the ideal choice of words since you were in Hell and your soul was probably rotten to the core

at least, nobody could say you hadn't tried your damn best

and hey! some days your cooking hadn't even been completely sickening

you decided to stick to easy, “safe” dishes though, you know, just to be sure

so pasta and eggs were definitely a thing

a constant and repetitive thing to be precise

you were trying your best, okay? nobody in your place with your limited set of skills would have taken the job, but you did and you deserved recognition for that feat alone

or a fucking donkey hat for your skyrocketing dumbness levels

things were not so bad at first

both Charlie and Vaggie were very supportive, each one of them in their own way - even though you had totally seen Charlie trying to swallow pure unadulterated fear that one time you had announced you wanted to try to cook something more elaborate

Angel Dust on the other hand... hadn't been as considerate as to lie to your face about what he thought of your cooking

"fuck me doll, this shit's disgusting"

*insert the I don't have friends they disappoint me vine here*

Vaggie had proceeded to give Angel quite the earful while Charlie tried her best to cheer you up

you went full hermit mode on them for two days after that

you were proud of yourself, handling criticism so well

anyway, the cycle kept repeating, with the only difference that most days Angel would grab something to eat outside of the hotel and join you during meals only to blankly stare at the plates and silvery

Charlie had tried to shield you from the truth, but you weren't that stupid

you respected Angel's choice, really, you did, and you had decided to be the bigger person among the two

that's why you began to put a lil bit of laxative into his portions whenever he decided to grace your efforts and actually eat your "disgusting cooking"

y’know just to spicy things up a little

at least now he had a valid reason to complain

with the whole fiasco on live TV and the sudden and suspicious appearence of the one and only Radio Demon at your doorstep, however, things started going haywire

Alastor's presence was eeirly demanding and unsettlingly charmimg at the same time

so it was only natural for you to gravitate the fuck away from him whenever you could

you always acted politely, greeting him whenever you bumped into him through the corridors of the hotel, but you only went as far as to appear courteous because you didn't want for him to go Hannibal Lecter on you. thanks, no thanks

“and what can you do my feminine fellow?”

“I can suck your dick!”

you had snorted a bit at that which immediately shifted the strawberry pimp's attention to yourself

“and what about you, pretty dame? I take it you're in charge of the kitchens around here?”

dressed in your chef attire, you were going to meekly answer him, but before you could, roaring laughter erupted in the room. it belonged to the one and only slutty spider you found oh so irritating

in the fraction of seconds, Alastor snapped his neck at an unnatural angle to stare at the spider with a strained smile on his face

needless to say, the cursed image would forever haunt your traumatized psyche

“hasn't your mother taught you it is rude to interrupt a conversation which you have no part in? that just won't do!”

static filled the air and you feared you were going to implode if the heavy pressure didn't lift off soon enough, so you decided to take action

“ugh... yes, I'm the head chef! but, well, I... could actually use some practice and proper training?”

you hated how uncertain you sounded, but Angel's comments and your own dissatisfaction with your culinary products made you quite self-conscious about your skills

“don't fret your pretty little head about it, my dear! I, for one, am a culinary connaisseur and wonderful chef, if I do say so myself. I'll be ecstatic to guide you through your training!”

how you'd be able to handle his booming voice during hours and hours of practice was your first and main concern, but you had never been one to refuse the chance to finally prove the people who had criticized you wrong *cough cough* Angel Dust

since that day, Alastor began to personally give you cooking lessons

he was exuberant and pretty sly when it came to veiled jabs about your dreadful cooking, but he really took his time to help you out

which you had been both grateful and suspicious about

“now, we can't have our future patrons starving to death, can we?”

he was strangely patient and an overall good teacher too (emphasis on overall)

he guided you step by step through each dish, simultaneously showing off his own flawless culinary skills

you hated that you daily found yourself boosting his already GIGANTIC ego, but you couldn't help it. you could only dream about reaching that level of artistry in cooking

he always came up with creative recipes to test your limits and cooked for you in order to make you more familiar with different tastes. his mother’s were your favorites, jambalaya being his one true specialty 

he had blindfolded you once and proceeded to present you with various samples of spices, oilments and all kinds of food so that you could acquaint yourself with the smells and flavors of the ingredients and figure out yourself which ones would best suit a certain dish

saying you were hesitant at first was an understatement, because you know? being completely at the mercy of a sadistic serial killer who had terrorized the seven circles of hell? not even being able to see him? not on your bucket list

he had tried to ease your nervousness with the whole “if I wanted to hurt anyone here, I would have done so already” thing, but it was getting kind of old pretty fast

“if I had been one to play with fire, I'd have joined a circus”

he found your sense of humor as endearing your sheer presence

(when he rolled up his sleeves to cook, you felt like you could catch fire any minute, you were a slut for strong skinny arms) 

yes, Alastor had always loved to show off his own impeccable skills but he unexpectedly found himself enjoying the moments spent in your company too

he relished in seeing you fail again and again, but he also admired the way you always managed to bring yourself back up to your feet each time

he had yet to fully understand if it was foolishness or stubbornness to guide your steps

either way, you turned out to be his favorite form of entertainment in the hotel!

no matter how many slights would he send your way, you'd always manage to find an appropriate remark that made his permanent smile stretch a little more in sheer amusement

“oh dear, this beef is so undercooked one could still hear the poor beast’s lament”

“the only noise I hear is the obnoxious ramblings of an arrogant boomer”

he wasn't technically a boomer but it was always so satisfying to irk him with terms he had no knowledge of

during your cooking lessons, when the only thing left to do with a dish was wait and pray for the best, you'd come to talk about everything and anything

he'd talk to you about his precious New Orleans as he remembered it and you'd fill him in on recent historical/social developments of your time

he always looked so taken when you shared with him that modern knowledge and it made you feel useful for a change

it was, dare you say it, almost adorable how he'd ask you countless questions about your home town, the catastrophes of the last century and had there been any other war since his death?

the topic switches almost made you dizzy though

once or twice, when the timing allowed, he'd even indulge in a musical show to pass time

on the days your mood soured because of a particularly complicated recipe or bad result, he'd drag you along and dance until you were so distracted by the absurdness of the circumstances that you forgot about your previous sadness

with time, his musical shows became more frequent as he realized you'd always offer him a genuine smile after his flashy performances

it was out of personal indulgence, not because he liked the way his music always seemed to cheer you up

he'd not been vocal about the way he tried to comfort you, but you were grateful nonetheless

the first time you managed to succesfully complete one of his complicated recipes, you had almost cried

“now, now deary, under my watchful eye, it was only a matter of time until you'd finally blossom into a fine cook!”

“Alastor can I... can I hug you?”

and how could he say no to such an adorable expression? he found himself stunned into silence, not being able to tell you yes either, therefore you slowly came closer as if trying not to scare a wild animal away

when Alastor passively stood before you, not moving away, you wrapped your arms around him

he really was such a dorky noodle

he didn't relax into the hug, but he kept still as you relished in the moment and let the pressure you had hoarded for months now loose

Alastor proceeded to show off your dish during dinner and even Angel Dust could do nothing but shut up and dig in

The all powerful Radio Demon was simply so proud of your progress - not that he doubted you'd prevail in the end, thanks to his expertise and guidance

from that moment onward things only got better and even if you didn't necessarily need Alastor's help anymore, neither of you ever mentioned going your separate ways

you were both secretly glad for the silent agreement

friendly banter and dad jokes were a daily occurrence and with your new-found confidence in the field, you'd always bite back showing off new delicious dishes instead than words

you still had trouble every now and then, but Alastor was always there to help you out

not that you'd ever hear the end of it if you actually asked him for help

“what was that, my darling? is the mightiest chef in Hell having trouble in Paradise?”

you had noticed however that he'd started sneaking glances your way more than usual lately and he also started following you around wherever you went in the hotel. he became your shadow both inside and outside of the kitchen

the attention soon became unnerving, even more so when you'd go in the kitchen only find a different flower on the counter each morning

you came to realize that Alastor's advances were rather old fashioned, but you would amuse the dork and yourself for a while before taking charge

gifts became an ordinary occurrence as well as praise and you preferred not to think about what praise could do to you when it came from Alastor

he enjoyed your reactions to his flattering words a little too much, he had to admit

you had had enough of his childish antics one day and you decided to finally put your plan into action

“Al, can you come here for one sec?”

he wasn't particularly fond of the nickname, but you just loved to get under his skin as much as he did when it came to you

“what can I do for you, my darling chef?”

“here, I have a gift for you”

he looked uncharacteristically unsure of what to do but slightly amused as well. in the end curiosity took the best of him and he finally decided to open the box you had handed to him rather unceremoniously

“what is this dear?”

the apron you had chosen was a perfect fit for your long boi

“read it, please”

“kiss the cook? well, if you ask me so nicely, I just might have to”

he then proceeded to peck your cheek and you swore you could have fainted right there and then by the sheer sweetness of the gesture

it hadn't exactly been what you had planned, but you weren't going to complain

your relationship was bound to be full of surprises apparently

[hollywoodhangar]

( canon muse meme ) 1, 3, for Red & Vaggie and 7 forrrrr Agatha? ( no screen shot needed descrip is cool )

questions for muns of canon muses! // @bitofthisandthat​ // accepting

What is the biggest headcanon deviation from the canon material that you have incorporated into the way you write your muse? Why did you come up with it?

MADAM RED ( I assume you mean Madam Red! ).

Madam Red is a character we unfortunately don’t have a lot of depth on, or story that wasn’t relevant to the plot. No info into her personal life outside of a glimpse to the past, nothing to delve deeper into other aspects of her personality. We get that she’s a socialite and clearly capable of being the life of a party, and not to mention she’s armed with crude humor, but everything else is left in the wind.

My biggest headcanon would be that her feelings for Vincent was honestly.. different, than what we thought. Oh, she fell in love with him, but rather, she fell in love with the fantasized, romanticized version of him that her mind had made, something those around her age were prone to do. He was better than any man, he was perfect, he was kind, he was gentle, he was funny he was without flaw and he was in love with her. It was the day she found out that Rachel and Vincent were due to be wed that such a fabrication was torn down, and the reality of the situation really hit her, and the truth that her love for Vincent was actually.. absent. 

There was a fondness there for him, but it was built through having companionship. Those talks, those walks, the way he listened to her and encouraged her ideas. Marriage was the essential duty for a woman back then, down to giving birth to sons, so a girl can easily lose herself to the idea of a fantasized romance to subconsciously cope with the situation more easily and make it more thrilling, which is what Angelina did without even recognizing it.

Really, as it turned out, Angelina just.. cared for him. She heard the men of Phantomhive were charming and they were darling, and vied for incredibly, just as much as the women were, and so she expected to fall genuinely head-over-heels. In actuality, she found a good friend in Vincent. 

There was the heartbreak to deal with of course, the mourning for her idealisms, but when that was processed, she was peppy and she was forming a tight bond with Vincent that honestly went deep. Nothing scandalous, nothing infidel, just purely.. genuine, and platonic. There were rumors, but Rachel understood precisely what was going on and just found it to be the sweetest thing.

She loved Rachel more than anyone and anything, and Vincent was the second. When she lost the both of them, that was what collapsed her world -- not some unrequited romance. She lost her sister, and she lost perhaps the closest person she had to a best friend. 

AND SO BEGINS THE READ MORE BECAUSE IT GETS DARK FROM HERE.

VAGGIE.

She’s a sinner, and some are bad habits she can snap right back into if she isn’t careful. She’s not a “nice girl” who ended up in Hell for no reason – she was a terrible person, and she was a proud one with no intent to change her ways. Life treated her hard, so she decided to make herself into a twisted version of a diamond. She committed infidelity by sleeping with female clients who were married, she sometimes used the five finger discount in stores, she skipped the bill she couldn’t pay for (however, she did tip well), and was responsible for threatening and beating some pretty innocent folk into a pulp who were a witness to anything she did.

Bad habits such as violence is the one sin she is very, very easy to snap back into, specifically when someone is being absolutely intolerable to either Charlie or herself. Stealing is the other bad habit, but this one she’s actually become very in control of and has girded herself from doing. There’s the habit of looking at something expensive and calculating its potential worth, but she’s come so far as to being able to shake herself from the mindset. This came with help from Charlie, who comforts her that there will never be a situation where Vaggie has to steal to survive ever again.

To be honest, I headcanon that Vaggie was Charlie’s first (unintentional) client, and what I think really sold the Demon Princess on the idea that demons can be redeemed. She knew Vaggie during her indulgent days of sin, and she watched how she evolved into being a better person who actually strives to do better. The Vaggie we see (I roleplay) is the end result of long, long work in self-improvement and endless streams of support. She’s more in control of her anger, she’s mellowed her personality, and Charlie’s mined a long-since-hardened sympathy back into the light.

GRANTED, we have nothing confirmed as to why Vaggie ended up in Hell in the first place – plenty of speculation sure, but no hint. This is just what I’ve made up. It adds weight to her (well-reasoned) skepticism of Alastor, “He can’t be redeemed, and he’s likely looking for a way to destroy EVERYTHING we’re trying to do.” – she says this as the first rehabilitated, because she’s been through the ring, and she knows people like him from before and after her fall to Hell.

What is something that was never addressed at all in the canon material that you have independently developed for your muse?

MADAM RED.

Aforementioned; a backstory! We got glimpses, but not enough. I’ll keep one of the main things short that has to do with that: Becoming Jack the Ripper was not the first time Angelina had actually taken a life. A few years before Rachel got engaged to Vincent, the Matriarch of the Durless family was said to have committed suicide, when the reality was Angelina witnessed her father bash her mother’s head in with an iron and throw her from the balcony to sell the story she “cracked her head” from such a fall. 

It was a horrifying secret Angelina had kept to herself, and for good reason, because after Rachel married Vincent and moved out, she killed their father and made it look like a suicide. A “tragic, poetic death”, the Yard would say -- a man driven to suicide by the death of his wife, and taking his life in the same way she took hers, from the same balcony no less.

With no one left, Angelina inherited the family fortune and became the Baroness of Durless. No one is none the wiser, except for Grell, who confirmed that her mother’s death was no suicide --- else, she’d be seen around reaping the souls of London, too.

VAGGIE.

There’s not been enough attention on Vaggie yet for anything to be addressed, unfortunately! But I think the big one I’d have to point out is her eye, which has sparked speculation. Some think she’s a fallen angel, others think it has something to do with Angel Dust.. Me? I personally developed it into involvement with her death.

Alastor was killed with a gunshot to the forehead, and briefly, we see an ‘x’ during one of his glitchy scenes in that very spot, so that leads me to believe anyone with a red ‘x’ on their body carries an indicator into where their killing blow went - if there is any at all. Vaggie has two black ‘x’s, although in the form of fashion, over her chest, and the giant ‘x’ over her right eye. I headcanon these were the three places she was shot when she was murdered – the killing blows. Two shots to the chest, and one right through the eye, which led to a very gruesome crime scene.

For movie or TV muses, what is your muse’s favorite scene? Why? Can you show a screenshot?

AGGIE CROMWELL.

( you get one anyways bc it’s cute uwu ) 

Taking Marnie for her first broomflight. She would’ve been so happy if she could have given Sophie and Dylan theirs, but for what she was able.. It was definitely this, because there is an absolute thrill in seeing your grandkids reactions to their first time in the sky, especially if magic is new to them.

[risthebrave]

okay so i was going to send in an ask for the director’s cut thing, but there were too many fics i wanted to ask about 😭 i’ll send them in but PLEASE keep in mind you don’t have to do them all i feel bad dmfjsjf

move so pretty (you’re all i see), sleeping on our problems, works like a charm, just a flicker in the dark, and sweet like honey

ahhh omg thank you for sending these in! i’m so sorry for how long it took to get out - i may have forgotten about it shjkskss also i don’t mind talking about all of them but i’m definitely going to keep each one short. you can find them under the cut:

move so pretty (you’re all i see) ~

this fic was started initially when i was doing word prompts using curiouscat! people would send me words and i’d write a quick little drabble/snippet... they’re typically around 300-ish words but i got the word “owns,” and maybe got a bit carried away? i think that prompt ended up being 1k words - too long to post using cc so i had to take screenshots and post as separate tweet. 

the idea that came to me was something i love to read in fics: one of them walking in on the other masturbating. i didn’t intend for it to become anything more than that snippet but i what can i say? i got intrigued. my brain helpfully provided a backstory: best friends, harry maybe having feelings for louis but not wanting to ruin their friendship... 

fast-forward three days and i posted an 11k fic shjssks

this was my first attempt at writing a pwp so that was an interesting experience!!! i’m too obsessed with giving backstories and arcs to ever write just pure smut but this is the closest i’ve gotten??? 5.5k/11k being smut, that is. and for once coming up with the title wasn’t too hard because there’s one song i always think of when it comes to best friends to lovers and that’s lucky!! 

i don’t really know what else to say for this one! i remember sarah and i both wrote and posted pwps in a short span of each other so that was fun... she’s actually the one who motivated me to finish and post this fic instead of just letting the idea go. and her dog ended up in the story: chica <3 my absolute favorite <3333

sleeping on our problems ~

welp. this fic was a struggle for a long time. idk if i’ve talked about it on this blog but this fic was initially an exes to lovers fic!!! where they spent harry’s rut together right before breaking up and then louis finds out he’s pregnant and angst ensues. 

changing it to a one-night stand (even though it wasn’t only one night shjksks) ended up being a really good decision in the way that this new version of the story required a lot less angst and reflection of their past relationship, choices, actions!! that first fic was going to be a lot heavier i think shjsks but i really love how it turned out!!

barring the main tropes, the progression of the story and the outline itself changed so. much. in the process of writing... i found an earlier saved version of my outline and the story is almost completely unrecognizable haha. and actually the most recent saved version of the outline is also not 100% accurate to the final story because for the last 10k of the story, i was flying completely free shjsksk. 

also, even after i finished the fic, i went back and added two scenes the next day so it’s safe to say i changed so much of this story -- it was never supposed to be that long either hsjsksk the goal was 48-50k and i thought i was being optimistic!

somewhat in the same vein but also really different: this fic was one of the first fics i ever wrote out of order! before this, i had switched around maybe a couple times when writing a fic but mostly stuck to chronological order. but in this one i kept getting stuck with certain scenes and decided that i’d never reach my goal of finishing unless i switched to parts of the story i had the inspiration to write in the moment instead of getting stuck on one single part i had no motivation for. it really helped the process and i’ve been switching around ever since. 

another thing that really helped me actually finish this fic was the motivation and encouragement of people on twitter and i’m still so appreciative of it now :’) there’s no way i could have finished this fic without the kind words and well wishes of my mutuals!!

(also - i included an easter egg in this fic from another one of my fics... i suppose that’s sort of the type of insight that fits for these things? the ballet louis and harry saw in new york was swan lake <3)

works like a charm ~

ooo i wrote this fic for my friend’s birthday!! she loves hp aus and slytherin hl so it was just a given that i write that for her. i was on a deadline - pretty sure i made the doc on september 4th, aka nine days before i posted - and i hadn’t had my full outline done when i started which is is... let’s just say very uncommon. 

this is another example of me going off outline and changing the story as i went because initially the estimation was about 12k and the basic plot was that after they’d fuck for the first time, they’d immediately talk about the past and resolve those misunderstandings. but when i got to that point, i realized it felt too rushed for how the story was progressing so i extended it a bit and added some more *tension* and *miscommunication* until they finally got their shit together!

also i feel like some would find louis’ blatant lies when interrogated about his feelings for harry to be unrealistic but as someone who has definitely done the exact same thing (lmao - without the happy ending), i find it a definite possibility. and i mean, we all say stuff we don’t mean under pressure - whether it’s to louis’ (and my) extent or not. 

another thing i remember about this fic was having to work out with sarah - who was also posting a fic for this friend’s birthday - posting times and dates. we eventually agreed that she’d post first and i’d post the day after (neither were the actual day of the birthday because we were both running late!) this is a conversation we proceeded to have many other times since we both have made habits of birthday fics and we pretty much have the same friends. 

all of this was also happening in sync with us writing a fic together for our other friend’s birthday which was on the 8th... yes it was exactly as chaotic and stressful as you’re thinking but also fun! and i love all three fics involved!! haha. 

just a flicker in the dark ~

okay this fic is definitely my favorite thing i’ve ever written and i’ve said that before many, many times but it’s true! but it too changed so much from the initial idea to the final end product. 

in fact, the original idea was a 20k somewhat-crack fic where harry was a ghost and louis was the paranormal investigator trying to get him to stop haunting this house. it was just supposed to be a quick and fun halloween fic to work on while finishing up my first blff and finally making head way on my abandoned second blff... obviously, that changed drastically. 

it initially started with me getting the idea of louis and harry being partners and enemies. and then i was thinking... why not throw exes on top of it while we’re there??? that was completely self-indulgent since exes to lovers is my favorite trope of all time. but the idea was still that they were paranormal investigators trying to work a case on a haunted house and though the estimated wc had raised to 35k, i was still hoping that it’d be quick and easy because i had two other projects that needed a lot of my attention. 

then came the first day of october. i woke up after having the craziest dream about louis and harry and the ghost that was not really a ghost. i ended up writing about 7k that thursday and the story really just took shape from there. the first sequence i wrote was actually the scene where louis goes into the backyard and ends up in the pocket dimension where the spirit imprints on him - i think it was a 3.5k scene and it just flew out of me sjksjsk. after that i took a small break to start my outline but it was more of a messy list of ideas and details and things i wanted to include than my usual organized format. the next scene i wrote that day was the scene where louis is in the bedroom and the demon is there but harry is not but then he is (i’m so good at describing things, right?) that’s actually one of my favorite scenes i’ve ever written and the funny thing is that i barely even knew all the details of the demon plot by this point but my hands just kept typing and my brain had the tendrils of the story forming and that amazing feeling that this is something good. 

i could ramble on forever about the process of writing this fic but i’ll just say that it’s the most fun i’ve ever had writing anything ever. word-building and supernatural elements are my favorite and getting to delve into those things here was so much fun! the entire process took twenty-five days (spanning from october 1st to october 28th - with a small three day break to focus on finishing miss wedding au!!) and though i did have some small struggles and moments of writer’s block, for the most part the story just came to me. and it’s so amazing to me because i didn’t even have all the details and facets of the plot until louis did too but it ended up working out??? if anything, it showed his process of figuring things out really well because it was the process of me figuring things out!

also this was the first time i heavily featured a fic pet in a fic and i fell as much in love with venus as everyone else did :’) she has my heart, truly <3 i love this world and these characters so so much and i hope to return to it sometime in the future!

sweet like honey ~

whooo, okay, this fic... yikes. this fic was a capital s Struggle. 

so basically this fic was written for the blff and though it came out first, it was the second prompt i signed up for, prompt 63: Friends to lovers AU where Harry and Louis are best friends and flatmates in Uni and they both need money, Harry for his gym membership and Louis for cute stuff like sanrio plushies, so they decide to film homemade porn videos together. Louis is shy and sweet and maybe inexperienced and Harry kinda doms him.

i remember the exact moment i saw the blff post on tumblr about it being allowed to sign up for another prompt from that point on - i was sitting at the counter at my friend’s ranch’s kitchen eating crepes and browsing on my phone. i saw the post and immediately signed up for this prompt because it had been my second choice and though i love love loved my first prompt so much, i was disappointed at not being able to write this one... but i did!

the idea and basic outline was actually completed way back in july/august but for some reason i just couldn’t make any actual progress on it for so long??? i’m pretty sure the document was stuck at 5k for over three months shsjksks to be fair, i did keep pushing it to the side in favor of other newer fics but i was just experiencing the biggest barrier when it came to this story and characters. 

in fact, i actually reached out to the mods in late october about a potential extension - they informed me that all writers could use a two week extension if needed and i figured that would be fine. however, i didn’t end up using it! within the first few days of november, i managed to pull the wc up to 8k by the skin of my teeth (was still majorly struggling) - i was still sure i’d need an extension but then something really awful but in this case, helpful, happened... 

election week. 

basically, i’m a big stress-writer. writing is what i do when i’m upset or anxious or stressed because it truly is my happy place. i wouldn’t say writing during that week made me feel much better about everything going on but it provided a distraction. so much though that i went from 8k to 24k in the span of a few days... and i have absolutely no recollection of writing any of it. 

not only did i not need any extension, i also somehow ended up finishing early by a few days. and i really liked what i had!! or what i remembered of it anyway shjskks.

one thing i remember really focusing on in terms of these characters and dynamic was having it actually just be them starting as friends and developing feelings later. i feel like a common trope in friends to lovers fics is having one or both of them with pre-existing feelings that they feel is unrequited. obviously there’s nothing wrong with that (i’ve written it myself lol) and it’s a common trope for a reason - because it’s good - but i wanted to try something a little different. them actually filming these videos is what acted as the catalyst to them beginning to view their relationship with new eyes and open the door to the eventual feelings that developed. 

i also had so much fun writing harry’s pov in this one haha. i feel like this version of him was really bold and shameless and super easy for me to develop. 

this is also the closest i’ve ever gotten to meeting my estimation word count... ever. my estimate was 32k and it ended up at 33k!!! and yes i’m more proud of that than i should be lol

-

anyways, i pretty much just rambled but if anyone sees this and gets some good insight out of it, then yay! feel free to send more director’s cut inquiries!! i love doing them (even if it takes me weeks - sorry again!)

[ciestessde]

Prologue

Author's Note

Well, after over a year of “helping” her -- after hiring professional editors and everything… Tess has decided to post our story FOR FREE.

… And I can’t even really blame her. Not with everything going on. She’s always had a soft heart, despite what she may think, and something on this scale… It was only a matter of time before she tried to do something to ease other peoples’ pain.

*sigh* Welp. I should probably introduce myself officially. I’m Noctu, Ciestess’s… “sibling” I guess you could call me. I’m an energy being that shares her physical form and travels with her through dimensions. I’m also one of the narrators of the story posted below.

“Crossroad of Infinity: Origins” is our way of introducing ourselves to you: Ciestess, the owner of this blog; Noctu, me; and Xihrae, a lovably annoying bastard you haven’t had the (dis)pleasure of meeting yet. Part 1, “Alone” focuses mostly on Ciestess herself. Part 2, “Family,” focusing on yours truly, will be the next in the series. Then Part 3, “Friends” will wrap things up with the story of how Xihrae came to join our group.

One chapter of Part 1 will be posted each week, most likely until all 28 chapters are available (unless Ciestess changes her mind, but I doubt I’ll be able to convince her). If you do wish to show your support through money, you can buy the book on Google (or through Amazon, but, for reasons explained in a previous post, Google is preferred). You can also donate directly to us through Tess’s Patreon or Ko-fi.

With all that out of the way, Pleasant Reading

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Prologue

Ok, let me admit something right off the bat: I’ve wondered more than a few times whether I actually remember anything about my early childhood at all.

Yeah, see, I might’ve just made it all up from pieces of different lives I’ve lived in other worlds. And since I can’t go back and check, I’ll probably never have an answer, either.

But the early childhood I’ve “imagined” is real enough to me. And it was pretty good. I think my parents both cared about me, that I never went hungry or was abused, and that I got to do a lot of things I loved. Sure, my parents were a little over-protective, and they didn’t understand me, like… at all.

But it’s not like they could have, anyway.

I dunno. Maybe it’s just the rose-tinted glasses, since I can’t actually remember things like what their jobs were, what their names were, what they looked like… But what’s the point in questioning it?

I just… I can’t see the point in fighting or fearing what I can’t change. I never have.

And if it makes me happy, then I REALLY don’t see the point!

And remembering the good parts of my homeworld? THAT makes me happy! So I’m going to start off this tale by indulging myself.

Now, I only have the memories stored in the First Memory Crystal to go by. Which, yes, is vastly better than my “memories” of my early childhood, but I wasn’t exactly expecting to continue living after dying in my homeworld. So, while admittedly better (and I’ll give a brief “thank you” to Noctu, that loveable pseudo-demon, for showing me I remembered more than I realized), my memories of my homeworld still aren’t all that detailed. Also, my homeworld was ruled by vastly different laws of physics compared to this world, so, while I’m going to do my best to explain and translate, please keep those things in mind, haha!

First off, we didn’t have a name for our world, per-say -- at least, not one I can translate beyond “our world.” So I’ve chosen to call it “Illunira.” After how it glowed.

It was cold. There was no sun to warm it -- in fact, there was no outer space at all! Instead, the heat from the center of the planet spread to the surface through lava, and our sky looked out upon a different dimension. Plants grew in that lava, and our sky- that dimension? … It looked like a prism.

There were no seasons. No day or night. Instead, we told time by the changing of the crops: the Planting, Growing, Harvest, and Rest. We sowed our crops in spots where large amounts of life-sustaining, silver-colored lava came to the surface. I’m going to call these “volcanoes,” but they didn’t erupt like the ones here do. They only spilled out and bubbled with lava. Our cities and towns formed around these volcanoes. However, never too close. Too close and we burned.

Well… some of us.

There were three species of intelligent beings: the Anima, the Florus, and the Symbi; and the Florus were able to live closest to the volcanoes, as they were plant-like beings (though, of course, sentient and mobile).

I say they were “plant-like,” but… Illunira’s “plants” more resembled flexible crystals than any vegetation from this world. But, unlike crystals, they glowed with energy siphoned directly from the lava. They were what transformed that energy into something that could sustain life -- much like how plants here do with sunlight. And this was how the Florus “ate” -- directly from the lava. However, since they lost the energy they siphoned rather quickly, they could never stray far from a source of their “food.” (In this way, perhaps they were more like reptiles that couldn’t let themselves get too “cold”?)

In contrast, the Symbi, clusters of single-celled beings that worked together to form larger “communities,” stayed far away from the blustering warmth of the lava. It would easily kill some of their members. Far from being crystalline, the Symbi were more like living, coordinated plasma; they only had a solid form or shape when they wanted to. And, as I understood it, it took quite a bit of effort to do so. So they rarely did.

The Symbi gained energy from… … Huh. Y’know, I don’t think I ever saw them feed -- but then, how could I? They were far too small. They almost seemed self-sustaining, in that way. Although I know they couldn’t have been.

The Anima, essentially humanoid beings, were something between the two. We were beings that couldn’t feed from the lava, nor get too close to it, like the Symbi. We held a more solid, crystal-like structure like the Florus, yet we also flowed with formless plasma internally, allowing us greater freedom of movement and separation from our energy-sources than them. We seemed able to feed off of almost anything that wasn’t the lava itself: smaller creatures, the “plants,” and even some… I’m honestly not sure what they were, but there were these floating, excess energy… things that we could absorb.

… Perhaps that’s what the Symbi ate…?

Regardless -- All of us glowed. All of us lived together, fed one another. Ruled over and under each other. All of us had souls. And, when our bodies inevitably died, all of us became the Dead Ones.

The Dead Ones... those whose physical bodies had died, lived on as beings of pure energy in the outer atmosphere -- inside the divide between Illunira and the dimension surrounding it. Though, only for a limited time. Only until their energy ran out.

This dimension I call “Prizmal” because it looked -- and still looks -- like a prism from a distance. Some believed Prizmal to be the afterlife, while others insisted it was what fed the planet’s core with energy. Either way, only the Dead Ones -- who had solely prizmal bodies, without any material elements -- were allowed to travel there. Anyone else would die so far from the planet’s heat.

I know because they tried, once. How could they do that, you may wonder?

Because we floated.

We weren’t tied down to the land. All of us: Anima, Symbi, Florus -- anything that wasn’t a plant -- floated and flew.

Because everything that lived there was only ever half-made of matter. And the other half was energy. So we floated.

  I said everything glowed, but it wasn’t a bright place. On the contrary, it was quite dark! But that darkness just made every light seem to shine that much brighter!

Small animals would skitter across pools of silvery lava, sparkling against it and any other reflective surface. Sometimes you’d see a light come up from under the non-glowing, pitch-black ground to reveal a tiny nose. Or you’d see a mass of similar-shaped flames rushing in one direction and, on closer inspection, realize it was a herd or pack of some larger creatures traveling together. Sparks would flicker in the sky, alone or in droves, looking for smaller sparks to swallow.

All of it against the empty darkness of the ground below, or the shattered, diffused light of Prizmal and the Dead Ones above.

Darkness and light extending in every direction, like a sea of living and moving neon signs on a starless night. Everything glowed. All so many different colors.

… I miss how colorful it was there.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

[Cover Page] - [Next Chapter]

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[seddm]

Blood Moon Dance

I’ve said enough about my reasons to dislike the recent events in the show, and the apparent shift in writing and style this season suffered (so far at least, fingers crossed for a change). Time to put some good vibes on this blog with a quick, absolutely not needed, and extremely self indulgent (and as such not necessarily fully objective) breakdown of the dance in Curse of the Blood Moon. A moment that, if we forget about its less than thrilling consequences, is probably (definitely, in my opinion) the best expression of pure Starco love, and that strongly tugs on my heartstrings.

In this moment, Star and Marco are alone with each other. Sure there are like eighty demons around them, but they’re just memories from the past, not actually there. Similarly to Booth Buddies, the two are pitted alone with their feelings.

They both entered this knowing what the goal was, separating their souls and their weird romantic feelings, so it’s expected for both of them to dance and reenact the moment that they thought was the one that bonded their souls, and started it all. And yet Star gasps happily when Marco sweeps her away to initiate the waltz, just like in Blood Moon Ball. Obviously it’s mostly a reference, but as I said this is going to be a very self indulgent post, so I want to assume that it’s super cute for her to react that way to something that she knew was coming & that was supposedly part of a ritual to erase that night.

(she’s smiling more now, too)

At first they don’t take the dance too seriously: they joke around as they always do, acting like the best friends they are. This should be a somewhat somber moment to them, since they’re trying to erase feelings that, as painful as they were, accompanied them at the very least since Booth Buddies, at least in the current form and intensity, but all the anxiety they displayed while listening about what the Stone would have done melts away once they start dancing.

Again, self indulgent and not very objective post that purposefully tries to poke at the heart of any shipper who might be reading, but this is not a Star who’s thinking about the ritual, it’s a Star who’s having a lot of fun with her best friend, and who reminisces small details from something that happened more than one year ago in-universe and that she still fondly remembers.

Then they get to the new part of the dance, the one they didn’t get to experience because Tom interrupted it. And things start changing a bit, the banter stops for a moment, as the music gets faster, and they just just while smiling like idiots (I mean Star is, harder to tell for Marco given the mask but he surely is, too).

Then the music gets slower and enters a “little warmer, and even more intimate” part, and Star starts feeling hard, and thinking.

And she starts getting worried, because this dance, her first chance (shown to us on screen, at least) after... well, Booth Buddies, to truly let herself sink into their friendship, had two effects on her: plant the seed of doubt, and make her wonder if these feelings had truly been caused by the Moon, and realize that she doesn’t mind them at all. That she never acted on them for all these months for a number of certainly good reasons that aren’t made explicit nor important here (scared to leave Tom, scared to start a relationship with a friend risking to ruin their relationship should something go wrong, something along these lines). The moment she’s isolated from all the noise going on in her life, and it’s just her and Marco, she understands what she really wants, and Marco does as well (I’m talking mostly about Star in this post because the episode focused on her the most, but that’s just because she’s the main character, and because Marco’s feeling were already plenty clear since Lava Lake Beach, and the beginning of the episode already focused on them quite hard).

And sure, she’s still worried about the curse, because she doesn’t like the idea of her feelings being forced by some external force, but at the same time she loves what she is doing right now, with Marco. And she’d like to keep doing that. I have no doubts that had the Severing Stone somehow no worked, leaving their memory intact, Star would have broken up with Tom as soon as the vision ended (ok maybe not literally there in front of all their friends, but very soon after).

THIS is when Star and Marco first fell in love. All the feelings up to this point were strong already, and clearly built attraction between them, but this is when I feel confident in saying they went from “We like each other but it’s confusing” to “We love each other”. And that’s why the Severing Stone acted in this instant, because as Relicor said it required the memory of the first moment they fell in love as a price to remove the curse.

What does this tells us about Star and Marco then? I don’t want to make predictions about what’s to come in this post, but the message is clear, and it’s consistent with what we saw in Booth Buddies already: Star and Marco’s lives are confusing, they are confused teens struggling with magic and love and monsters and politics. But when they get a rare moment of calm, and they can truly think about the nature of their relationship and what they feel deep inside, we get a kiss, we get them falling in love for the first time. Guess we gotta wait for another moment like this, and this time there aren’t going to be magical rocks severing memories around.

Lastly, a focus on the sweetest moment ever, the hand holding.

Star gently but firmly holds Marco’s hand while her voice actress delivers an exceptional line full of love that spells “Screw the curse and being worried about what might happen, this is what I really want”, and Marco takes a moment to reciprocate, because he’s a Marco and he’s unsure and he’s worried that the curse might be somehow responsible for this, but ultimately understands his feelings as well. And BAM, fall in love.

To truly conclude, an even more personal consideration that isn’t necessarily important in the episode itself, and maybe not even done on purpose by writers and boarders: in this context this scene is about thirteen times better than a kiss. Being effectively part of the dance, it’s more intimate relatively to the moment at hand (hah), it’s seamlessly included in what was already happening but perfectly displays a change in Star and Marco’s mind, an important decision being made. And this allows the scene to be strongly characterized as something unique and sweet, as opposed to what a kiss would have done, with all the implications already seen in Booth Buddies that it’d have inevitably brought with itself. 

[mal-likes-biscuits]

Series Behind the Scenes (Diablo: Amor Aeternus)

I wanted to share some of the fun hidden eggs/did you know/lore reference/extra stuff that appears throughout the series, but I didn’t have a chance to mention as I posted.

LONG post: content after the break! (Also, series spoilers. In case that’s not obvious.)

In All Things Light and Dark

Water imagery: all the Aspects have an element associated with them. Wisdom/Death is water/ice, per their arcane spells and the domain itself (Pools of Wisdom). Malthael returns to life in a spot that reminds him of the Pools.

Biscuits are the first food Malthael ever eats. He likes them afterwards because they remind him of the warm compassion he was shown. This carries on into later stories, where he has an obvious preference for baking, but also a lingering soft spot for biscuits in particular.

Fallen angels carry with them some sort of lingering power. One of Mal’s most important but not really mentioned ones is that he can speak/read all languages. It’s about 50% practice and 50% magic. He just knows what things mean.

I probably should have had ice manifest on his hands in the church instead of the arcane glow. However, I also wanted to underscore the difference between his base element/person and the Reaper.

The blades themselves aren’t the cause/fix of his memory loss. He’s suppressing things due to a) an extremely painful death and b) his mortal brain trying to reconcile things with his previously immortal/corrupted soul. His taking up the blades and recovering the past through combat is purely symbolic.

Things Malthael does in the year before Tyrael finds him: scribe, translator, and at-no-pay demon cull-er. He spends his entire savings to buy Talm the farm sickles. 

Tyrael and the companions probably overreact when they see Malthael, thinking he is a Reaper. But he also is super grungy looking and his clothing is all tattered. He’s been sleeping on the streets when he hasn’t been working at the church. He doesn’t look that far off from a corrupted Reaper.

The reason there’s a punisher in Salvos, and a demon swell in general, is because (you may have guessed it) another angel Fell near there, and is now living there. You see undead when Tyrael falls and his angelic power causes chaos. Any remaining Reapers come out of their fugue state and gravitate towards the lingering essence of their master...who is not really impressed to see them.

This does get mentioned elsewhere, but yes: they all drink the mead. They all get extremely drunk. Malthael and Tyrael get dragged into the farmer’s hand-to-hand just for fun fight and end up smacking the snot out of each other for catharsis.

Arcane & Apples

This story came about because I wanted to write a fun one-shot about how Tristram would appear to an outsider.

Also, I felt bad there was a lack of scholarly characters in the series after Cain dies and wanted to bring someone else in.

Farah was originally meant to be an Archivist (based on the April Fool’s content in the game) before I canned that idea, because I have plans for that later that are very different.

Osseus’ name was one he took when he became a proper necromancer. It derives from “ossuary”, or a place where the dead are kept (bones only).

Farah had a cat for most of her life in Caldeum, but she was currently without one or she would have likely brought it with. You see a few cat references from her throughout the series.

Aya and Tyrael were more than a little hoping that Malthael would strike up a conversation with Farah. They were just dodging around the topic most of the time.

Aya almost barfs when Farah sniffs one of Malthael’s journals. She says she doesn’t know where it’s been, but she has ideas from what she’s seen.

Originally Osseus was going to be Xul, until I learned that Xul was the Diablo 2 necromancer. Part of this carried over to my description of Osseus having a rather charming voice, which is more like Xul and less like the actual Diablo 3 necromancer. I’m chalking it up to artistic variance.

The unreadable scrolls about scroll-crafting are going to be important in Series 2.

The prophetic line from Farah’s dream about Malthael ("This man walks the crossroads. One path leads to ruin. The other, survival.") is meant to read as applying to the survival of the Nephalem (or himself), but it also applies to his decision about the Arch in Act 4.

Farah reacting to the tone of Malthael’s voice (beyond just basic surprise) was added in after several edit rounds, when the characters decided they had this Love thing going on in later stories. Still, I wanted to keep it relatively understated.

The "Aya, would you explain mortal courtship?” line was in the very first draft and was meant to be a humorous throw-away line, but, you know. He still doesn’t understand mortal courtship.

A Light in the Darkness

Most of the first scene was added in the final edit draft, because I wanted to up the banter between all of them.

Lyndon and Malthael pretty much subside by insulting each other, like the not-quite-brothers they seem to be. Tyrael is mostly relieved it’s not him dealing with it anymore.

There’s a small suggestion that people have been beaking at Farah for her being kind to Malthael, and this is true; he’s not making that part up. But they try and not whisper about it if he’s around because he would end them. He finds out anyway.

Lyndon isn’t bugging him for that reason, he really just likes pushing his buttons and doesn’t have anything against Farah or them all getting along.

Unlike Osseus, Zaira never changed her name. It’s hers. It’s who she is. That pretty much sums her up.

Zaira happened because I wanted to write a morally grey/lesser evil human character who was nonetheless on the side of good. Sort of like Malthael when he’s the Reaper.

Zaira’s unhealthy fixation that Lyndon mentions has been mentioned on this blog a few times and implied in the story. She is obsessed with learning more about the Reaper of Westmarch, and admires him greatly. Also, had a really weird infatuation with his power, which is what led to her and Osseus breaking up.

Chith never got far enough to even talk about adopting a new necromancer name.

Chith was named by my husband, when I asked him to come up with a name for a necromancer. He thought it was for Zaira’s character, who we’d chatted about in concept awhile earlier. Nope.

The book lady really has no idea she just called the oldest being in creation “young man” until after it happens.

The book lady is also important and is going to be reappearing later in Series 2.

The bit with Malthael arguing with the Reaper part of him (mentally) during the big gem-fight was added in much later, as part of a sweep I did across the series to build up that conflict for his character, as well as establish the level of PTSD flashbacks he experiences.

Born of Night & Beams of Light

This was originally meant to be the second large story in the series, and come fairly closely after “In All Things Light and Dark”.

The idea for the Archshards happened way before Diablo: Immortals and the Worldstone Shards were announced (my reaction to that probably makes more sense now).

I had planned on making Imperius the antagonist for this story from the beginning, based on his character development in Diablo 3.

Originally, the Prime Evil was going to take more complete control of Imperius, and his form was going to reflect that. But I didn’t think a character as strong as Imperius would give in that much, and that a lot of his behaviour would be due to his own issues and not the influence of the Hells.

The “charger” Tyrael rides in the opening chapters is a reference to Tyrael’s Charger from Heroes of the Storm.

I had notes for the scene in Salvos with Malthael drafted while I was writing “In All Things Light and Dark” because I knew he was going to be revisiting Death.

Talm and his family were originally slated to die in Salvos, but I thought Malthael bringing them back alive would actually have a more positive impact on his character, plot-wise. I wanted him to draw on Death out of  responsibility instead of despair.

Malthael’s Death abilities (while mortal) are inspired by the frost magic he uses in Reaper of Souls, as well as by some of the magic the necromancers use in the game series. His Wisdom Aspect form is mostly intellectual abilities (scrying with the Chalice, languages, etc.); his Death Aspect is mage-ish.

The “mental connection” Malthael and Farah use is inspired directly by what Tyrael does with Leah in Diablo 3 in terms of imparting memories and feelings. The mortal angels seem to be at least partially psychic.

A lot of Aya’s character development in the series was inspired by me wanting to write a) a more HUMAN Nephalem and b) how a Nephalem would handle having imposter syndrome. (Since the Nephalem in the game are essentially unflappable.) It is a slight departure from the game characterization, but also my attempt to bring some realism to an overpowered character class.

Originally, Auriel wasn’t supposed to recognize/learn it was Malthael stealing the Chalice until after it was all done, to show that she was willing to help the humans specifically. But the scene ended up being very emotional and affecting and I left it as I wrote it, with her finding out his identity right away.

Auriel’s fate was somewhat undetermined, but I knew she would oppose Imperius. When Chith came about as a character, I decided to have her become mortal instead of dying because I wanted to be able to write a student-mentor relationship between them.

Itherael was plotted to die from very early in the series planning, due to the nature of the Prophecy of the End of Days. Unfortunately, for everyone who is a fan of them.

Auriel’s mortality is one of the more self-indulgent items I wrote into the series, mostly because that could have gone so many different ways.

I really wanted to explore Chalad’ar’s uses, particularly since it seems to be so powerful but isn’t really explained much even in Storm of Light. There’s a lot of suggested functionality, intentional or accidental, with how the user can interact with what they are studying.

Farah helping Malthael with the scrying was a relatively late addition to the story and didn’t appear until I began to write the scene.

Farah’s Nephalem abilities actually extend beyond the Sight, but aren’t fully developed yet -- though they are hinted at when she is able to tolerate Chalad’ar better than some of the others. This will be developed more in Series 2.

My description of the Chalice use/scrying was written before I read “Storm of Light” and ended up being surprisingly close to canon. I had to change very little.

All the various Nephalem classes from Diablo 2 and 3 are represented in the final battle, though not all are named characters. Some of the unnamed Nephalem will be appearing in Series 2 as “new” characters.

The final battle takes place somewhere in the Fields of Misery.

The “Death Knells” described by Chith are a reference to Auriel’s Heroes of the Storm ability that lets her see the “souls” of the dead in order to resurrect them with her ult. This idea will be expanded on in Series 2.

None of the end-battle deaths were planned ahead of time except for Imperius. I let the battle write itself fairly organically and saw what came out of it.

Malthael sees as much in the Caverns of Terror as Tyrael does. Imperius is correct when he says he is thinking about Farah: one of the visions he has is of her telling him that he has disappointed her (which, thanks to some of the mind-to-mind conversations they have had, he does not believe).

The arcane abilities that Aya unleashes on Imperius at the end of the fight are a reference to the wizard’s archon mode in the game. And like in the game, they are taxing and have a cool-down period.

We don’t see Kormac return as one of the souls that Malthael works with, because he is “ready to die” and at peace with how he goes out. It’s in many ways the ideal death he wanted to have as a warrior.

In the original outline I did for the series, Malthael was scripted to die at the end, ensuring Imperius could be defeated. I had a change of heart as his character developed throughout the series, and his redemption occurred in very different ways than I had planned.

Lyndon saving Malthael from death was not scripted at all, but when I started writing that part, it came about naturally. I went back and built up stuff with the two of them for the entire rest of the story to set it up, character-wise.

Malthael is meant to be the “brother” that Lyndon actually manages to save, vs. the one that he didn’t.

The bit with Farah waiting at the water is an accidental but direct mirror/echo of the opening story, where Malthael washes up on the lakeshore. More overt references to this were added in after the draft was completed.

There’s a lot of unwritten material that happens during the Epilogue, including lots of conversations between the characters, patching up, the wake/celebration, etc. This may be material I write and refer back to later, but I didn’t want to include it in the Epilogue because there is so much of it.

I hadn’t actually planned on getting Tyrael and Aya together until I wrote the Epilogue and it just sort of happened. Again, lots of additions/tweaks went into the story earlier to help set it up more overtly.

Malthael hasn’t actually been sitting on that bench for that long. He doesn’t specify when he leaves Farah to go back home.

Tales from Tristram

I wrote “Echoes” about 3 times partially, and scrapped each version, because I thought the chapter kept backtracking on Malthael and Farah’s character development from “Arcane & Apples”. The published version is the 4th attempt.

“Echoes” is also the first time we see Malthael’s PTSD manifest from his POV, post-memory recovery.

"Echoes” also gives the details of him working through the PTSD after fighting himself in Act 1, including some subtle references to the very annoying inner (anxiety) monologue he has.

“Night of Souls” was me writing a Halloween story and accidentally stumbling on pivotal character development for pretty much everyone.

Malthael’s comments in “NoS” about Wisdom angels stargazing is related to the description of the Pools. Even when they are pure they are said to show Balance, and I assume if you went high up enough in the Heavens you would eventually see the stars. It’s an interesting visual balance between light and darkness and very fitting of his role.

Malthael arguing with himself while sitting at the bonfire in “NoS” is an example of how he handles his anxiety when he’s in better control of it; the devil’s advocate voice is a lot more nuanced, and he’s more than able to tell it to be quiet.

“Justice and Wisdom Walk into a Bar” was the original plot idea behind “A Light in the Darkness”. Zaera-d was telling me a story about their DnD group burning down a tavern and I thought it was something the Tristram gang would do. Only they ended up not doing that in Act 3.

The above chapter was also the only real time in the series that Tyrael and Malthael’s sexualities get mentioned directly (though Lyndon hints at Malthael’s in Act 3); I really had to balance it being a humorous scene without actually making fun Tyrael because that was 100% not my intent.

[deitiesofduat]

What are all the Deities AUs so far? And what are some of your personal headcannons?

Ah, well I’ve never made an official count or list of DEITIES AUs / crossovers before now, I kinda just… make them up as I think of them, or as others’ bring them up??? But of the ones I know that I’ve shared on the blog or elsewhere, or that I’ve mused about myself, I can present the following under the cut, with the ones in bold that have links to their own tags.

Keep in mind that most of these are AUs that I muse about on my own or with friends, and in my personal free time. There are a few that I may hopefully explore for fun (after I resume my main activity with, y'know, the main story >>) and others are small niche AUs that may not be explored in depth, but they’re all fun to think about regardless. Just fair warning to not expect me to spill ALLLLLLLLL the headcanons I have in a row if you ask, I don’t have the stamina for it right now, but I may consider doing an AU ask theme later whenever I do…

[1] DEITIES x Pokemon AU – This AU combines my two loves and can easily be divided into several sub-AUs all its own – Deities as pokemon trainers? Deities as pokemon / pokemon gijinka? Deities as gym leaders? DEITIES but everyone has sacred pokemon forms?? PMD!DEITIES?? THIS ONE IS TRUE AU GOLD THAT NEVER RUNS OUT–

[2] DEITIES x Harry Potter – More specifically, I think of the “Deities at hogwarts” scenario in this AU, so DEITIES cast as students in their respective houses, their best subjects, their sacred animal as their patronus – one time someone asked about their ideal quidditch positions, and well, I tried.

[3] DEITIES x Avatar the Last Airbender – Specifically like, the DEITIES as element-benders or non-benders within the ATLA world. It’s a tough one because certain DEITIES would do well in multiple elements (Set as a lightning(fire)-bender or sand(earth)-bender??), but I try to stick to the ATLA lore and keep to one. No idea who the avatar would be tho…

[4] DEITIES Business AU – Admittedly, this is one that I shared with a friend, I would need to check with her to see if she minded me sharing certain details. But think of the whole pantheon as part of a big company, with the Royal Family as the top “chief officer” positions (CEO, CCO, CFO, COO, etc.), and other staff/interns in said company (plus chairman!Ra).

[5] DEITIES Mafia AU – Or crime syndicate, whichever is the better term?? Just think The Contendings but as a modern struggle between 2 opposing crime families/gangs. And knives and firearms, ofc.

[6] DEITIES Merfolk AU – Self-explanatory. Also technically not far removed from canon; some deities could transform their hybrid features to resemble merfolk if they really wanted to. I just, need to actually draw it out–

[7] Genderbent!DEITIES – Also self-explanatory, and also technically not far removed from canon, since deities can change their gender expression however it suits them. I don’t explore this too deeply though, I just like to imagine what their designs might look like, and how the dynamics in The Contendings might shift with Set and Horus as dueling goddesses, etc.

[8] Modern!DEITIES – Really just any scenario where the DEITIES are living in modern time. I like the version where it’s basically canon DEITIES in the farrrrrrrrrrrrrr future where everyone is at least 5000+ years old, fully adapted to contemporary society and living it up in the 21st century.

[9] DEITIES School/Gakeun/College AUs – Self explanatory, and a riff from Modern!DEITIES. Either the DEITIES cast as students or as teachers/profs/staff, or some combination.

[10] DEITIES Musicians / Band AU – Related to Modern!DEITIES but with all the deities as musicians, specializing in different instruments or vocals! Or alternatively, deities in an INDIE ROCK BAND or something!! Haven’t revisited it in a while though, or settled on which instruments suit them best.

[11] DEITIES Cirque AU – Think “Cirque du Soleil” or any modern circus with the DEITIES as skilled performers with different acts. But I also shared this AU with a friend who I’ll have to double check with.

[12] DEITIES Olympics AU – EVERY OTHER YEAR I wanna draw the deities participating in Summer Games or Winter Games as Olympic athletes in their respective sports and events, and I never have the time. BUT IF I DID!!! YEAH….

[13] DEITIES Vacations – Modern!DEITIES going on destination vacations “because they can” and to bring the whole pantheon together once in a while. Disney/Themeparks was the one someone recently brought up that I had in the back of my mind, but other attractions at applicable as well. I also had Las Vegas, NYC, and Hawaii in mind as well, with plenty of room for other destinations and countries-outside-the-US as well.

[14] DEITIES… futurepunk?? cyberpunk?? – IDK THE CORRECT TERM BUT basically the DEITIES storyline for The Contendings, but instead of Ancient Egypt, it’s “Ancient Egypt” if it had survived several millennia in the future – with modern advancement and technology in place of magic. I have more ideas regard this AU, but in the event someone else is planning to do a similar epic, I’ll keep my details underwraps for a bit until I can explore it myself 

(Additional note: I’m not super invested in -punk AUs but I could acknowledge things like steampunk!DEITIES, dieselpunk!DEITIES, solarpunk!DEITIES, etc.)

[15] DEITIES In-game / Gaming AUs – Basically the DEITIES cast following the mechanics and designs of different game series I like, vicariously or otherwise – including Sonic (sanic!DEITIES and sanic teams), Splatoon (Inkling/Octoling DEITIES), Animal Crossing (DEITIES as animal neighbors), Super Smash Bros (The cast as SSB fighters), Overwatch (the cast maining different heroes) and, most recently, Dragalia Lost (Adventurer!DEITIES who tURN INTO DRAGONS…!).

[16] DEITIES Holiday Designs – Not really an AU, just the DEITIES cast in festive designs for certain holidays on the blog, purely for fun. So far we have Halloween DEITIES and their transformations; Set transformed as one of santa’s reindeer; and Set’s “B-day” for Valentines day (which, I really attribute to the kemetic community for that one, I just participated with Set drawings haha;;)

[17] DEITIES Crossovers – most of the AUs I mentioned are crossover, but here I mean when I or someone else crossover’s our stories or casts for non-canon fun. On my end, so far I’ve drawn Set as a demon from Koolaid’s Living When Dead, and the Set Spawn running into some other smol familiars. Also drawn a few other crossovers with those who drew me amazing giftart in years past.

[18] Other Personal AUs – Any of the other dozen AUs that I already indulge in with my group of friends and our personal OCs, but with the DEITIES cast as a cameo. You’d have to sift thru my personal artblog with my OCs to understand most of them (and some of them aren’t even publicly posted yet), but they  include, but are not limited to: Mythical!gijinka, Fantasy AU, vampire/lycan/witches AU, demons/angels (and the related deadly sins/heavenly virtues) AU… that’s about it that I haven’t mentioned before jskdfsdf

o)———

[dyketectivecomics]

{{ Okay, as a fellow aficionado of playlists, I HAVE. TO ASK. About those songs you've chosen! Throw 5k at me, I DON'T MIND! But I'm dead-serious and deadly curious about what soundtrack I should be imagining for Magic Fam scenes. ;P (Maybe pick your Top 10, because Attention Spans are a thing. but if you want to make it into a full-blown lyrical analysis project, I'm totally down for reading that, too.)

I tried to pare this down as much as possible (kept around 1k so theres that!) w/out being too rambly, & still including a bit over that 10 bc i can’t PICK THINGS, but without any further ado & in no particular order~

Have Some Magic Fam’s Greatest Hits/Must Hears (under the cut):

- I’d say p much All of Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nick’s is worth listening to, but some highlights i wanna point out real quick are gonna be “Hold Me”, “Little Lies”, and Nick’s “Whole Lotta Trouble”.While most of these will have the greatest frame of reference with an Idealized Version of John & Zee’s relationship, the purely mystical sounds that they bring into their music also lends itself to something that I can only describe as nostalgic for myself. My dad played a lot of Fleetwood/Nicks when i was younger & its the kind of sound that you can put on as bg, just allowing yourself to get lost in the music or let it drift softly w/out taking too much attention. It’s the kind of music that i absolutely see Constantine & Zatanna reaching as a middle ground (what w/ John being very punk rock, and Zee i see as being an absolute sucker for pop) Its just a very happy middle & represents an idyllic childhood I’d want for Raven.

-Moving up to Angsty Teen Years, and doing a lot of projection in the mean time: i’d push/encourage listening to Linkin Park and Flyleaf. But not their heavier stuff, no. Start with something like “Shadow of the Day” & “Leave Out All the Rest” (LPs) and “There for You” (flyleaf). I absolutely headcanon Raven (in any canon) being introduced to Flyleaf thru Aunt Alice (as a way to try to Connect through a musical middle ground for reasons that would be Obvious for anyone who knows the band’s history/focus a bit more on the lyrics for certain songs…). By the time Raven meets Rose (who would introduce her to LP) she’d absolutely start edging into a Goth/Emo/Scene phase. #LetRavenHaveACringyTeenPhase2kwhatever like, just imagine her screaming her head off to “One Step Closer” while Constantine’s in the next room like ‘not my style, but good for u kid’ while he slowly turns up The Clash

-Honorable Mentions bc they have more to do w/ general relationship dynamics include:“(They Long To Be) Close to You” by The Carpenters, this is v self-indulgent, bc Simpsons fans might remember this is Homer & Marge’s song. it absolutely falls in line w/ Fleetwood as being a Love Anthem during Rae’s childhood before John n Zee move slowly into their Little Lies phase if you will“Sins of My Youth” by Neon Trees, where you start to see some breakdown btwn the two. bc the reality is that they’re BOTH weighed down by things in their past, and unless they really WORK at those things (which 9/10 john usually ISN’T) then they WILL start to break apart. helps that theres an extra layer/theme of addiction which i think adds to the tone of the song as well as hits the nail a little on the head (which brings me to the next song…)“Demons” by Imagine Dragons, (gonna show my 2010s scene phase a bit here) bc this one is HELLA on the nose/cliche for all of them, BUT YA NEED TO BE A BIT CLICHE SOMETIMES OK? this song just WORKS so well for them all and its… not quite a bop, but like? its Good. it’s Been Good and I’m so sad that it got so overplayed when first released to the point of oversaturation, its a Shame“You Learn” by Alanis Morissette, funnily enough, i was listening to this one while driving, and like? so many little Zatanna & Raven ideas kept popping into my head. it really helped to help form ideas and tone of how i want their relationship to be, and provided a great stepping stone like getting into the zone for writing that most recent chapter of Retrieval (& @squiddybeifong i actually rlly wanna rec this one esp & feel free to give the rest of these, in case where you were wondering how trash my music taste is for this AU lmao)

TBH i think ima break my music library overall like this for this AU:

70s rock/pop absolutely encompasses Raven’s childhood, so ages 5-10/11. Anything 90s Punk/early Aughts Alt Rock is Raven’s Teen Angst Phase in SPADES. On the opposite end of that, Zatanna & Raven’s relationship could probably be encompassed by the feelings I get from listening to 90s pop/rock, and Constantine & Rae’s would be more U2/80s-ish, think “Sunday Bloody Sunday” or maybe “With or Without You” vibes would be better? NO WAIT “Stay (Faraway, So Close!)” THAT ONES DEF A GOOD ONE FOR THEM BOTH UGHHHH- everything else gets sorted into Particular Circumstances & Feelings/Events… and there’s couple of those so-

Last but not least, while I don’t see Raven being quite the romantic thats presented in this song, “The Only Exception” by Paramore also includes a lot of that great relationship angst that anyone who’s seen their parents go through bad breaks & have it negatively affect how they enter their own relationships… yeah, i’ve said a lot there, that probably didn’t rlly need explaining for such a simple song but like… it Works for this dynamic, esp since John & Zee aren’t MEANT to completely last in this. not without a lot of work that I’m still… trying to be sure that they want to work out, if that makes sense? (bc i know what *I* want but that might not necessarily be where they take me lmao)

tl;dr- i have shit music taste bc my own parents raised me on a lot of shit that they loved

[chanlyeya]

I'm a huge fan of your Black Rune fic, and Tomorrow was hilarious. You've mentioned having some original works; any chance you might be willing to share some? ^^

:OOOOOOO

OMG Nonnie! That is so sweet of you (ɲ˃ ˈ̫̮ ˂ɳ) ~ෆ I’m so glad you enjoy my little forays into self indulgent fics, but I’m even more honoured about the questions on my original works :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

As @foolish-identity can tell you, I have a looooot of them, and they are all relatively complex, so I’ll put this under a read more:

There are a few I have hidden away somewhere on my laptop, but there are five major ones I’ve been working on that are much more fleshed out then the others. And they are loooooong.

One I refer to as the “indulgence series”, as, should I ever finish it and get it published, I will separate it into seven separate books, all named after a sin—it follows the story of my boy Cadence, in a world where what are basically demons exist, and he gets taken in by a Nightwalker—what people who hunt them down are referred to as. Cadence himself doesn’t become a Nightwalker, but due to certain aspects of him, he finds himself in the centre of a huge conflict. I don’t want to go to into detail, because than I may as well write you an essay, but I’m excited about this for a couple of reasons—a) Cadence is autistic, but that is not the important part of his personality. I wanted to provide some more representation with autism, and it fits with his character; b) all the main “relationships” are inter-generational—the four main characters are each several years apart from one another, but are all close like brothers. (And by several years I mean; Cadence, who is the youngest, is 15—Breckinridge, who is the eldest, is 52); and c) Cadence is an unreliable narrator, which I adore—in fact, Noct in BR is practice for Cadence’s POV, low key revealing things the reader doesn’t even think to register ;D

The next is one I like to call Iconoclast, and is the opposite of Indulgence in that while all main characters in Indulgence are male; all main characters in Thief are female. This one is in a world where, thanks to a mutation generations ago, have people separated between the Marked and Unmarked. This one is full of superpowers and morally ambiguous choices—a Marked literally has a mark on their body (hence the very creative name), and have superpowers, though everyone has their own unique one. Due to this disparity in power, there is a huge rift between the Marked, who consider themselves “superior” and the Unmarked, who consider themselves “pure humans”. Needless to say; things get ugly. The main character is Jean—someone who is Marked but doesn’t have any powers, so she’s got the worst of both worlds (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧ Eventually, it’s discovered that SHE does have a power—and that is to siphon the powers of anyone she kills. It becomes a big moral debate for her, as she has the ability to save the world, but will have to kill others to do so, as some perverse form of sacrifice. I’m excited for this one for a) the socio-political exploration between the two factions; b) the all female who are each their own badass in their own way (girl power ftw!); and c) the moral ambiguity Jean will have to wade through.

Next we have one with no magic, but is more of a political intrigue; nature vs nurture type story, I like to call Tumbling Into Obscurity. It follows Nergui—who became Empire after the death of his best friend and beloved would-be Emperor; Eximius (Indie was given her name as a homage to my original works…and because I like it). Due to the way everything worked out (the emperor is chosen based on the old ottoman way—a competition until there’s only one left standing. Eximius was going to become the first emperor who got into power by convincing his opponents to drop out rather than kill anyone—Nergui was the last one in the competition, and Eximius died just before he dropped out), the general populace hates him, thinking he’s behind the death of Eximius (who was basically their messiah-like figure), he’s been distanced from his family, because he believes THEY killed him, and in general he’s just been isolated; but he still works towards fulfilling Eximius’ dreams of improving the living conditions of the regular folk and all that jazz. Then, it turns out Eximius DIDNT actually die—but what he went through in the few decades since he disappeared had completely changed him, and Nergui figures it out when he catches him attempting to assassinate him. He’s been so twisted, in fact, he doesn’t even remember BEING Eximius, and is adamant that he is Izel, an entirely different person. This one I’m looking forward to for a) political intrigue—I love that shit so much; b) the duality of Eximius and Izel—whether are not they are even the same person; and c) Nerguis own struggle over whether he is doing the right thing looking for the old Eximius in Izel, or whether it would be better to accept him as he is now. (Nergui and Eximius/Izel may or may not be a couple too—I haven’t yet decided ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

I call the next Temerarious, but it’s really just a placeholder name. This one is a sci-fi post apocalyptic story where a highly contagious, currently untreatable disease has infected the world, which basically turns people into wendigos. Unlike most “zombie apocalypses”, the world is not overrun by them—but the entire world is basically under martial law; and the “zombies” in question are conscious of everything they do—it’s just, they get hungrier the more they eat and eventually it becomes bad enough that they would eat ANYTHING, including loved ones, to try and sate it. On top of everything, the world’s environment has gone to shit—it is uninhabitable unless you live in the “domes” they’ve created around cities and designated agriculture area—and the only way between places is underground where everything is strictly monitored to catch the strain at the smallest level—even if it does have a 73% false positive rate, at least it hasn’t had a false negative. So, as you can imagine, should one area get infected, it can spread easily enough to forsake an entire city, so all districts are built to be put in a lockdown on any moment—and if you’re not infected but on the wrong side of the walls when they go up, you’re screwed xD. There’s a group of people who, for some reason (learning why is part of the plot), don’t get the negative side effects of the disease, but they’re still carriers, so, they’ve created a society known as the Underground, and those people work as Sweepers—it is their job to head into contaminated areas and wipe out any infected there, since they’re the only ones so can come into contact and not contract the disease. The entire plot is revolving these guys and their attempts to cure this disease ^^. Why am I excited for this one? While, a) the stigma and strain of being the good guy—Sweepers risk their lives for the rest of humanity, but are shunned because they’re carriers of this disease and they can spread it just as easily as the infected; b) the relationships between the characters!—due to them being carriers, they are basically isolated from all but a select few, and the complexity of the many different aspects between their relationships in a limited space; and c) the ambiguity of the enemy. The enemy is a disease and misinformation, so it will require a different approach to solving it.

And lastly, what will be my magnum opus, I refer to as Beyond the Gates. I just…I can’t even summarize this, it’s a blend of nearly everything I love, and while I loooooooove talking about BTG, it’ll take forever to even start explaining the concept of the plot, so I’ll just skip to what I’m excited about. A) THE WORLD!—I’ve been building the world for BTG for nearly a decade now, and OMG and am I excited to write in this world as it’s so complex~; b) THE CHARACTERS: I’ve spent just as long fleshing out these characters as I have the world—the cast is HUGE, but each character is distinct and plays their role in the over arching story; and c) just….the plot. It is full of twists, intrigue, betrayal, death, identity crises, choices….GAH! Just….everything I want in a book but haven’t been able to find; I want to MAKE it!

Anyways; these are my main ones—I don’t want to go too in detail either, because I aim to actually get these published one day, and if I do, I would like for them NOT to be easily accessed online prior to their release ␟␏(ɲ˃ ˈ̫̮ ˂ɳ)␟␏ෆ

Thank you sooooooo much for the ask; I looooooooove talking about my original works and original characters! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ✧

[thejoeydavis]

Movies of 2016

(I’m posting this late but for archival purposes I’m putting it here)

Every January I do a list of all the movies I watched over the past year in chronological order and this,, as you can tell,, is that list. Each movie is rated out of 10 and rounded to the nearest whole number for simplicity and because I use the letterboxd app to log all my movies and it uses a 5 star system. These number ratings are meant to be as objective as possible, which means they’re judged on commonly agreed upon film conventions and what most critics and kinophiles would consider to be “good film,” as pretentious as that sounds. Really it just means I went with my gut feeling and then considered technical aspects and effectiveness on all of these. Paired with each are some thoughts to talk about what I liked or disliked, how it made me feel, etc. I’ll try to keep it short on as many as I can since there are so many. tl;dr: top 10 is at the bottom

Anomalisa – 7 – a predictably depressing Charlie Kaufman film about loneliness and being human—somewhat ironic considering it’s a stop motion film. Don’t let the puppets with 3d printed faces fool you; this is a very human movie with one of the most realistic sex scenes ever captured on film. Probably don’t see this with your mom like I did.

Inside Llewyn Davis – 8 – one of my favorite movies of the past few years and one of my top Coen bros movies. The charismatic but dickish performance by Oscar Isaac and beautiful folk soundtrack depicts a hard life for a musician in early 1960s New York that will make you feel better about yourself (unless you’re a musician).

 Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl – 8 – also one of my favorite movies of the past few years, this love letter to classic film by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a beautiful story of a popular kid in high school who befriends a girl with terminal cancer. Essentially Perks of Being a Wallflower meets criterion collection.

Project X – 7 – one of my guilty pleasure movies. Lots of fun.

 The Hateful Eight (70mm) – 6 – I got to see this in 70mm complete with preshow overture and intermission and it was an incredible experience. I loved the movie but it’s not Tarantino’s best by any stretch. Note the huge disparity in rating from last year when I gave it a 9.2. This film is not a 9.2.

 The Forest – 3 – in this movie Natalie Dormer goes to the Japanese suicide forest to search for her sister who went missing. Suicide is a very apt theme here considering how heavily I considered ending my life during this movie. Truly awful.

 Carol – 6 – one of those movies that I know is good but I just didn’t enjoy. It’s about Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett as they try to hide their forbidden romantic relationship in 1950s New York. Long, slow, but very pretty and touching, I’d recommend it if you like character driven stories—especially ones about LGBT issues because it’s very good in that regard.

 Hail, Caesar – 7 – underrated mystery film by the Coen’s about old Hollywood and communists. More along the lines of the Big Lebowski than No Country For Old Men. Just a really fun movie with a great sense of world building that makes 1930s Hollywood really come alive.

 Deadpool – 7 – pretty funny and exactly the kind of movie Ryan Reynolds and fans wanted. Probably the only good Marvel movie made by Fox.

 The Witch – 8 – a visceral and disturbing film about a cursed life in 1600s New England, The Witch (stylized as The VVitch) is one of the best horror movies I’ve ever seen. Be warned though, it’s the definition of slow burn horror so you’ll probably dislike it if you’re used to modern horror films.

 10 Cloverfield Lane – 7 – one of the big surprises of the year and also one of the most thrilling, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and John Goodman both give excellent performances. It’s basically a bottle episode completely unrelated to the first film. People have criticized Winstead’s character for her actions at the end but it completes her character arc perfectly so it definitely works.

 Room – 8 – beautiful film. Somewhat overrated.

 Brooklyn – 8 – one of my favorites from 2015 and immensely enjoyable from start to finish. This story of an Irish girl moving to Brooklyn shows that the conflict doesn’t have to be high stakes for it to be compelling.

 Batman v Superman – 4 – wow surprise surprise, Zack Snyder made another shit movie. Awful film full of clichés and nonsensical dialogue, bizarre editing, and the incredibly moronic decision to try and kickstart an entire cinematic universe in a dreadfully painful 2+ hour runtime. This movie sucks and DC needs to either hire some competent scriptwriters and directors or just give up already.

 Zootopia – 7 – ah the quintessential furry movie 2016. I really enjoyed this and it has great rewatch value. One of the most beautifully animated movies of the year.

 Midnight Special – 6 – I had no expectations for this movie and I was pleasantly surprised by it, although somewhat let down by the ending. It’s an interesting story about a kid with unknown supernatural powers being smuggled to a specific coordinates where he says something will happen. The mystery unfolds throughout the run time and there are some pretty cool scenes. Fun sci-fi to rent maybe.

 Midnight in Paris – 7 – 1920s Paris is arguably one of the best eras to be alive in and Woody Allen captures the magic of the period well. As with most modern Woody Allen films it’s pretty cheesy—especially the modern day scenes—but the scenes that take place in the 1920s with F Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, and Picasso are truly a delight. One of my favorite movies from 2011.

 Captain America Civil War – 7 – not bad but much worse than Winter Soldier. It was enjoyable at least and miles ahead of Avengers 2.

 Green Room – 8 – a disturbing, white-knuckle rollercoaster of a film that follows a punk band as they fight off a bar full of alt-righ—I mean neo-nazis. An absolute must-see.

 The Nice Guys – 7 – fun from start to finish, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe give two funny and over the top performances in this 1970s period film about two detectives who get caught up in a case that’s way over their heads. Definite recommendation. Crowe’s performance in the first third/half or so is very melodramatic and over the top cool-guy but I believe it was intended to be tongue in cheek so don’t let it throw you.

 The Jungle Book – 6 – not bad.

 Raiders of the Lost Ark – 9 – a near perfect movie and one of, if not the best action movie of all time.

 x x x s u m m e r x x x

 Make Happy – 8 – Bo Burnham tweeted about a special premiere screening of his new special back in March so I bought tickets and went with Andrew to see it. We went to the Largo in West Hollywood and were treated to a short comedy show and the grand premiere of Make Happy, Bo’s last one-man show for the foreseeable future. It was an incredible experience.

 The World of Tomorrow – 8 – it’s only 16 minutes and it’s by Don Herzfeldt—what’s not to love? Get ready for an existential crisis.

 The Conjuring 2 – 7 – pretty spooky in some parts with a cool little i spy game you can play with the name of the ghost demon lady. Not as good as the first.

 Finding Dory – 7 – older Pixar films have a certain level of charm that all their films post-Toy Story 3 (barring Monsters University) don’t seem to have and this is no exception. It was very enjoyable but it just felt like it doesn’t have the magic that the old ones have.

 The Shallows – 4 – the amount of praise this movie received was deadass baffling. This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year and I don’t see how so many people missed the cliché dialogue and plot, ridiculous shark cgi, exploitative ass shots, and absolutely insane and unrealistic attempts to kill the shark. Critics and audiences comparing this to Jaws is an insult to not only Spielberg, but also the art of filmmaking itself.

 Frances Ha – 9 – one of my favorite movies of all time, this black and white indie film by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig is a cozy tale of solipsistic loneliness, friendship, and following your dreams. It’s depressing, but in a very relatable and reassuring way. Greta Gerwig as the New York dancer Frances is so believable that seeing her in other roles feels almost disingenuous. Honestly if you watch anything on this list you should watch this first, foremost and as soon as possible. It’s on netflix!

 Mistress America – 7 – another one by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig and it was actually my introduction to their work. I loved this movie when I first saw it but it pales in comparison to Frances. Still a great movie with wonderful acting and snappy as hell dialogue. Fun fact: Noah Baumbach worked with Wes Anderson in the past and it shows here, especially in the dialogue.

 The Neon Demon – 8 – one of the most polarizing films of the year but a definite return to form by the near infamous Nicolas Winding Refn. The success of the 2011 masterpiece Drive was not good for Refn’s ego apparently as he followed it up with the nauseatingly self-indulgent Only God Forgives. Thank goodness he was able to find a balance between pure art film and accessible indie film with the Neon Demon. It’s by no means very accessible but the acting, especially from the main girls and a sleazy Keanu Reeves, is great and the visuals are incredibly surreal and v e r y v e r y n e o n . Recommend if you like artsy films with lots of sex and blood.

 Back to the Future – 10 – a textbook example of what a perfect movie looks like.

 It Follows – 8 – nothing but love for this creepy and atmospheric 2015 horror/suspense film about the end of childhood and the impending dread of adulthood. Really it’s about a supernatural shape shifting thing with its “rule” being that acts like an std being passed down through sexual partners. If the thing catches you, it then goes after the previous person in the chain and so on, so the only way to save yourself is to pass it on or run endlessly in futility. Please do see this it’s great.

 The Secret Life of Pets – 6 – a disappointment but Louis CK as a dog was fun to see.

 Hush – 5 – not very good Netflix horror movie about a guy terrorizing a deaf lady at her home in the woods for some reason.

 Snatch – 6 – I suppose if I were more familiar with Guy Ritchie’s work I would’ve enjoyed it more but it looks like it was shot by a Tarantino wannabe edgelord and edited in windows moviemaker. Still entertaining though.

 Horace and Pete – 10 – Horace and Pete is a dramedy web series multi-camera sitcom written, directed, and produced by Louis CK and it’s the single best serial program I’ve ever seen. This is a true masterpiece in every sense and the writing and acting is some of the best in a serial program. It was so good that I actually could not enjoy anything else for days after because everything paled in comparison. For example, I watched Stranger Things the day after I finished this and I had to stop watching three episodes in because it was completely and utterly awful compared to Horace and Pete. The quality of writing is unbelievable and I laughed and cried at many many points. Louis CK, Steve Buscemi, Edie Falco, and Alan Alda, bring career defining performances to the small screen and I cannot wait to watch it again—although I’m not sure I’m prepared for it.

 Breathless (1960) – 7 – one of the most defining films of the French New Wave, this film by Jean Luc-Godard is a love story shot in some of the most unconventional ways I’ve seen in a film. It’s not surreal or weird but it certainly is interesting. Worth a watch if you like the cinematography of Wes Anderson, Woody Allen, or Louis CK—although it’s a much more saturated French New Wave style since all those styles are derivative of this. Has some of the most intriguing and innovative tracking/dolly shots I’ve ever seen. In fact, at one point two characters are walking down the street but they couldn’t afford a dolly for the tracking shot, so they had the cameraman sit in a wheelchair and film while someone pulled him backwards to make the shot. Really that’s what French New Wave is all about: innovating and using filmmaking techniques that were unprecedented at the time.

 Star Trek Beyond – 6 – a really fun return to the franchise that actually felt somewhat like a Star Trek film—unlike that last one. It’s still just an action movie franchise now but it’s just a real good time.

 Lights Out – 3 – again, the praise this film received was COMPLETELY unwarranted and totally baffling. This movie blows and is so saturated with clichés that I can’t imagine liking this film. don’t waste ur time.

 Mike & Dave Need Wedding Dates – 5 – actually hilarious movie. Really dumb but so goddamn funny. Zach Efron and Adam Devine are a great duo. Has arguably the best exchange about fisting in the history of film.

 Café Society – 6 – a pretty good modern Woody Allen film. Much better than his last two, Irrational Man and Magic in the Moonlight. It’s nice to see a film from Woody Allen that isn’t about a much older man falling in love with a much younger woman.

 Suicide Squad – 2 – “roses are red/there is no god/my favorite movie?/suicide squad.” – Gideon Ondap deadass one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I wrote a 10 page essay on this after it came out but basically the editing is jarring enough to induce brain trauma, the acting is atrocious, and the script is objectively bad. A complete and utter failure of a film. The name is a warning.

 The Room – 1 – another one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen yet 1000x more enjoyable than Suicide Squad. Tommy Wisseau is a genius and this is his magnum opus. Required viewing. Also I must say that a Suicide Squad/The Room double feature makes for one of the funniest nights of life.

 Scott Pilgrim vs The World – 8 – honestly one of my favorite movies. A super well done adaptation directed by Edgar Wright, this film is able to stand independently next to the already spectacular Scott Pilgrim graphic novel series. The music is incredible. It never gets old.

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 Sausage Party – 5 – obscene, racist, vulgar, and dumb as hell with a giant food orgy at one point. Still laughed at much of it.

 Captain Fantastic – 8 – a dad raising his kids to survive in the wilderness of Washington must bring them into society to attend their dead mother’s funeral. A big surprise and one of the most enjoyable movies I saw this year.

 Don’t Think Twice – 8 – Mike Birbiglia has always been one of my favorite comedians because his stories were so heartwarming, wholesome, and packed to the brim with jokes that would reward you on multiple viewings or listens. Don’t Think Twice is Mike’s second movie I believe, and it’s about an improv group in Brooklyn having fun doing their craft while trying to make a life for themselves. When you’re a comedian/improviser,, your friends are too, but if one of you actually gets a big break then it’s that person’s break and no one else’s. It causes a lot of tension between performers because even though they’re all friends, they’re still actively competing in a highly sought after profession. Judd Apatow came out after he saw the movie and said how accurately it depicts the life of comedy performers. It’s a really depressing (in a relatable way) and realistic take on the competitive world of improv and deals with friendship, comedy, and how cruel life can really be. Beautiful movie.

 American Beauty – 8 – really did not like this the first time but warmed up to it on the second viewing and it really shines despite many dated aspects.

 Antz – 6 – woody allen as a ant oy vey

 Back to the Future II – 5 – pretty bad sequel until he goes back to 1955. Worse than the third tbh

 Everybody Wants Some!! – 7 – even after the abortion that was Boyhood I didn’t give up on Richard Linklater and I’m glad I didn’t. This spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused (but in the 80s this time!) was a ton of fun.

 Clapping for the Wrong Reasons – 8 – this short film written by Donald Glover and directed by Hiro Murai is about a surreal day in the life of The Boy, a character Donald Glover created as the speaker of his Because the Internet album (his magnum opus imo). Hot take: Chance v Bino push up contest contender for best film scene ever.

 Kubo and the Two Strings – 7 – the most beautiful disappointment of the year. The incredible stop motion animation is unfortunately much more enjoyable than the underwhelming story. Not as good as Coraline.

 Hell or High Water – 8 – the director of photography from Sicario returns for this modern western about two brothers who rob the banks that screwed over their mother. Great performances from Jeff Bridges, Ben Foster, and Chris Pine.

 Don’t Breathe – 7 – this horror film about three thieves who break into an old blind man’s house borders on exploitation film towards the end. Not that bad.

 Blair Witch – 6 – not as bad as everyone said it was. It’s a soft reboot of 99’s Blair Witch Project but with a modern horror twist—which means it relies mainly on jump scares and unnecessary use of found footage tropes rather than atmosphere building and genuine terror. I still thoroughly enjoyed it and thought the last 15 minutes or so were really spooky. The creature design was really great and the way time moved was an interesting horror device. If you liked the first one but were bored by it then you’ll probably like this one because it moves a bit faster although you might be bored by it too. Oh but side note: that drone scene was fucking stupid.

 Over The Garden Wall – 10 – this 10 episode cartoon network animated miniseries aired in the fall of 2014 and follows two boys as they wander through the woods to find their way back home. It stars Elijah Wood, Christopher Lloyd, Melanie Lynskey, John Cleese, Tom Lennon, and Tim Curry among others. The story itself is inspired by Dante Alighieri’s Inferno and the music is inspired by early 20th century Americana folk music. It’s literally the single most charming thing I’ve ever seen and it’s an absolute MUST SEE.

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 Doctor Strange – 7 – not much to say about this one but I liked it. The visuals were top notch and although Dr Strange is basically just Tony Stark pt 2, it makes sense considering how much lesser of a role Stark will play in later movies. I’m really excited for the new Thor movie now.

 The Purge Election Year – 4 – each Purge movie is better than the last and this third installment is still a 4. That’s pretty much all there is to say. There are some legitimately hilarious parts in this though—all unintentional.

 O Brother, Where Art Thou? – 7 – another silly Coen film and one of their most accessible. Good film based on the Odyssey.

 Arrival – 9 – Dennis Villeneuve is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors after last year’s Sicario and now 2016’s Arrival. This is a film about humanity, the complete frivolity of our problems, and how staying divided will be our undoing. The cinematography is breathtaking, the score is great (much of it follows the circle of 5ths, which will make sense after watching), the acting is good, and the film just has a beautiful sense of scope to it. I encourage you to watch this and DON’T WATCH ANY TRAILERS OR READ ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I assure you; you’ll want to go into this as blind as possible (and you should never watch trailers anyway they literally ruin films).  In Trump’s America this movie is even more important so please I urge you to watch this.

 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them – 5 – the Phantom Menace of the Harry Potter universe, Fantastic Beasts has so much exposition and forced world building that anyone who hasn’t seen the first 8 hp films will probably have a tough time figuring out what’s going on. The opening sequence is literally just a montage of newspaper headlines saying how terrible this dark wizard is, which was done in harry potter but over the span of roughly 3 movies rather than 1 minute. Overall positives: the creature designs were fun, Jacob was rad, the humor was effective, the cgi wasn’t /that/ bad, newt’s hair was wavy af (and he was a hufflepuff, which I appreciate), and the costumes may get an Oscar nomination. As for the cons: so much panning, craning, and tracking that I could barely see what was going on due to low framerate, the first 10-15 minutes are a suicide squad level editing disaster, the pacing was weird at times, they revealed who the main antagonist was in his actual first scene, too many plotlines interweaved, inexcusably bad framing in a few shots, and the ending was a little bit Chekhov’s gun but was pretty much deus ex machina. This just didn’t feel as magical as the harry potter films and, like star wars 7, it feels like a failed attempt to recapture what made people love the franchise in the first place. It was a very flawed film but I still enjoyed it and will watch it again.

 Moana – 6 – VERY overrated but still good. How a lot of people felt about Frozen is how I feel about this movie. The animation was incredible, the voice acting was great, the songs were good (although not nearly as catchy or memorable as Frozen, save for Shiny) and it ends up being another Tangled, a movie I enjoyed but will forget about very soon—hell I’ve already forgotten about it. Just think about how long Frozen was a thing. People were talking about Frozen for months after and I haven’t seen anyone mention Moana since its opening weekend. Overall a huge disappointment. Zootopia was the far superior animated feature this year.

 The Handmaiden – 8 – my first Park Chan-wook film and I loved it ! This film is fucking enigma for the first half and then as soon as one detail is revealed it suddenly opens up and becomes an incredible psychological thriller. I honestly was not enjoying this film for the first act or so because of how seemingly meaningless it was but it really shaped up to be one of my favorites of the year. Never before have I experienced a film that made me 180 on opinion during the course of its runtime. Be warned: don’t see this with your parents or anyone you would feel awkward watching porn with because this shit is basically pornography at MANY points during the film. I don’t know if my friend and his brother have forgiven me yet.

 Unedited Footage of a Bear – 8 – there’s a tl;dr at the bottom of this one because it’s a little long and expository. I was watching an idubbbz video (https://youtu.be/5Bs45yITIt0) back in November and many criticized how unfunny and bizarre it was compared to his other content. People started to speculate that he was doing a metafictional series about his channel along the lines of alantutorial (https://www.youtube.com/user/alantutorial), a channel in which performance artist Alan Resnick plays a fictionalized version of himself who is depicted as a mentally ill young man obsessed with making tutorial videos. This alantutorial series is a commentary on poorly made tutorial videos that flood youtube, as well as social media in general and the overwhelming desire for likes, favorites, going viral, etc. after discovering Alan Resnick and watching all his videos I started to seek out his other content and I found this short film that aired as part of Adult Swim’s infomercial slot at 4 a.m. This may sound familiar to some as the timeslot for Too Many Cooks, which went viral. This short film, titled Unedited Footage of a Bear, can be watched here: https://youtu.be/2gMjJNGg9Z8 and parodies those commercials you’ll often see on tv about drugs that are peddled to mentally ill people without proper testing. This film depicts addiction as a force that can and will ruin your life, your family’s life, and will kill you if left unchecked. There’s an explanation you can watch here: https://youtu.be/_2e5ia9j0TA that explains it really well and is worth the watch. tl;dr: cool 10-minute short horror film about addiction by performance artist Alan Resnick – check it out.

Twin Peaks (Pilot) – 8 – it was good

 This House Has People In It – 8 – hey look another Alan Resnick short film. you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/x-pj8OtyO2I and the attempted explanation is here: https://youtu.be/mjBTAnCUbZc because this one is pretty complicated compared to footage of a bear. also worth the watch simply for the L O R E

 No Country For Old Men – 10 – one of the best movies of this century hands down. not sure if I rate it quite as high as There Will Be Blood though, which came out the same year. The Coen’s crowning achievement (although you could argue that title belongs to The Big Lebowski for reasons)

 Moonlight – 9 – a very heavy coming of age film about a young boy living in the south who attempts to find himself while growing up in an incredibly unforgiving environment. beautiful film and I’m excited to see it again. very very important film for LGBT issues.

 Nocturnal Animals – 8 – one of the biggest surprises this year. I LOVED this movie and it stayed with me for days. as soon as it started I made a mental note that I’d have to really pay attention to everything because I figured it would be heavy with metaphor and symbolism and boi was I right about that. Amy Adams and Jake Gyllenhaal give great performances and I honestly can’t tell you the last time I got so emotionally invested in a film. people have criticized Adams’ performance as melodramatic and cold, which is the point because she’s not supposed to be likeable. the narrative structure is refreshing and fun to piece together and the visuals were pretty alright. my favorite part of this movie was piecing together all the metaphors (of which there are many) and figuring out what the events of the Nocturnal Animals manuscript (in the film) means for the characters. It’s been a very polarizing film apparently, which surprised me since it doesn’t really try to be anything more than it is. It definitely rewards close observation but I can’t guarantee everyone will like this one. I won’t say more because going into it blind is the best way but I do recommend it. Tense, emotional, gripping, funny. It’s good.

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 Star Wars Rogue One – 8 – I really enjoyed this. I probably don’t need to say much because it’s star wars but this was the best star wars film since Empire Strikes Back in my opinion (although episode III wasn’t that bad). the characters were a little flat, some of the humor was out of place, and the first 30 minutes had bad pacing, but overall it was great. the action in this one was insane and I’m so happy that we finally got to see a proper space battle (and holy shit is it a good one). this has one of my favorite moments of the entire series and it actually feels like a star wars movie unlike episode VII.

 La La Land – 10 – I’m at a loss for words honestly. This movie is so fucking good. The soundtrack is incredible, the choreography is awesome, the cinematography is BEAUTIFUL, and the performances are wonderful. I could keep thinking of adjectives or I could just tell you to go see this movie as soon as you can. Best movie of the year hands down. LA has never looked so fucking good OH MAN please go see this movie you’ll surely regret it if you don’t. OH and we went to see this in the Vista Theater in LA, which was a once in a lifetime experience. See this in the most old-Hollywood theater you can because it actually improves it if that’s possible. Now there are some flaws, mainly in third act pacing, but it’s so enjoyable that it doesn’t matter.

 Ferris Bueller’s Day Off – 10 – it’s a classic and could be considered a perfect film. not much to say but it’s definitely one of my favorites of all time. never gets old.

 Home Alone – 8 – this was the first time I watched Home Alone and I liked it.

 Assassin’s Creed – 6 – the neckbeard-y guy doing anime runs up and down the stairs of the theatre behind us really set the tone for this movie. I didn’t hate it but it was pretty dreary and I feel like almost nothing happened. I don’t think it translates to the screen well but it did capture the feel of the games, or at least the first one. Let’s just say after seeing this I went on a mission to watch at least one more movie so it wouldn’t be my last of the year.

 Swiss Army Man – 7 – the praise for this movie was a bit unwarranted. It’s really silly and touching but it wasn’t the modern masterpiece that everyone was saying it was. maybe I missed something but the corpse of Daniel Radcliffe farting is only tolerable and funny for so long. I will say that this is one of the most unique movies I’ve ever seen, so I’ll give it props for that, and the soundtrack was actually incredible. I enjoyed it very much and need to watch it again but it was alright.

Come Together – 8 – an H&M short film by Wes Anderson that can be watched here: https://youtu.be/VDinoNRC49c . It was cute and I guess it’ll hold me over until Isle of Dogs, which comes out in 2018 (no it won’t)

 The Lobster – 8 – this absurd commentary on relationships and their influence on society is just bizarre and has a wonderfully dry performance from Colin Farrell and, well, every other actor too. this film is just crazy and I really need to watch it again. Expect it to be on my next year’s list as well. TOP TEN RELEASED IN 2016 xxx 10 – The Nice Guys

9 – Hell or High Water

8 – The Handmaiden

7 – Don’t Think Twice

6 – The Witch

5 – Moonlight

4 – Nocturnal Animals

3 – Green Room

2 – Arrival

1 – La La Land honorable mentions: Captain Fantastic, Horace and Pete, The Neon Demon, Make Happy recommendations: Frances Ha, Mistress America, Over the Garden Wall, The World of Tomorrow, Midnight in Paris, Me, and Earl, and the Dying Girl, The Lobster and finally the award for worst movie of the year goes to ,,,,, SUICIDE SQUAD duh. In 2016 I watched 77 movies, which is terrible considering I watched 124 last year and 92 in 2014. That gap from September to November really killed me in that regard and hopefully it won’t happen again or for as long next time. Overall this was actually a pretty weak year for movies it seems. Looking at my top of the year list, it looks significantly weaker than last year’s which had The Revenant, It Follows, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, Sicario, and Brooklyn. If anyone has questions or suggestions about anything I’d love to have a discussion so feel free. Here’s to another year of great movies. also if you’d like to follow me on twitter @thejoeydavis please do because I’m a huge slut for likes and I desperately want and need your approval. thanks for reading