#crossroadofinfinity

[ciestessde]

Chapter 26

There's no wind blowing tonight.

And the sky is remarkably clear. If not for the torches, it would be perfect for stargazing. If not for the torches, and…

[Beginning]

Helsing is shaking, his eyes wider than ever, and his face twitching, not settling on any one expression.

Tess keeps her voice steady, low, calm. Civil. "Tell me, Abraham. When he woke, didn't your partner say anything to you?"

The pitch of his voice is all over the place, his breathing ragged, "He… He tried to convince me it was his choice. That he became that monster by choice."

"And you said he was lying next to his brother on the bed. Tell me, were they lying peacefully?"

"No… NO! He-... He must have dragged him up there- Posed his body like that! Or-! No. No, he hypnotized him! Just like you've done to-!"

"-What will it take to convince you? That vampires are STILL PEOPLE," Tess's voice grows stronger -- more aggressive, "Or are you just scared of the truth -- that you killed your friend that night?"

"No! You're lying- Stop! Stop trying to convince me of your lies, foul creature!"

He lunges at Tess then, with no regard for any of the people between. In his hysterical state, he pushes them aside with ease and throws holy water from the flask at his hip. Tess only stands there. Unmoving. Truly panicking now, he pulls out some sacred wafers and tries again. Still without effect. He brandishes the silver cross at her, but still nothing.

< Of course not. I'm not cursed. >

"I don't understand. Are you…" His face lights up in false-understanding. His voice rises in pitch as he declares, "You're-not actually one of them! You're not a vampire!"

Tess sighs.

Turning into a flock of bats, she flies -- a blur to the human eye -- the few feet between them and reforms -- directly in front of him. "I assure you, I am. Or, well…" Tess's eyes smile a little, involuntarily, "I'm a dhampir."

"A… a what?"

"I'm part vampire… and part HUMAN."

"But… No… But that would mean…?" He takes a step back.

"Indeed." < You're smiling outright, now. > < I really can't help it. I love it when they jump to conclusions! ~Just like he's about to.~ >

He's screaming now. "But that can't be! For that to happen, a vampire and a human-! It's impossible! They don't mix, they-!" "-I have an entire village that disagrees."

Tess turns so that she can address everyone. "Back in my home, our entire village coexists -- half of them vampires and the other humans, living together. Caring for each other," she looks back at Helsing, "Families full of both humans and humans-turned-vampires."

He's backing away. "... That's… But…"

Tess grins an all-tooth smile. Her voice is overly-cheerful. "You should come visit! I could give you a tour, if you like. I really think some traveling would do you good.

"After all, I know it has for me!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[ciestess]

Oooh! I know!

Everybody send Noctu asks and I'll MAKE them answer!

It'll fuel me for WEEKS!

[ciestess]

Are you kidding?

This is Noctu's favorite game.

carrd? nah. if you want to learn about me you have to connect scraps of information from my occasional sentence-long tumblr tags and gay little rants I’ve been putting there since 2016. that is the truest wellspring of self.

[ciestessde]

Crossroad of Infinity: Origins Part 1, “Alone”

In a reality far from this one, a dimensional traveler prepares a young girl to take their place. In the world of Dracula, that same girl's friends prepare to betray her for their own gain.

With all of Infinity to explore, the girl, "Ciestess," searches for paradise. Finds family and friends. But still feels ALONE.

"I guess I'll have to remind them that one should always be cautious... "When dealing with a Demon-eater."

I had always been planning to make some of this book free to read, but given recent events... Well. I haven’t fully made up my mind, but MOST of this book WILL be free. That’s for sure!

Posting starts this Thursday, with a new chapter every week after!

Or, if you don’t want to wait, you can buy the full book WITH PICTURES! The ebook is available on Google (recommended -- it’s the best version) & Amazon for $2.00

I hope you all enjoy my story. ~ Happy Reading!

[This work is Copyleft. You may use, copy, share, and modify this work -- with the condition that the same rights be preserved in any derivative work created from it.]

The print is also available on Amazon, but I don’t recommend it. They’ve increased their prices to a RIDICULOUS amount! If it were up to me, the print would be roughly the same price as the ebook -- instead, it’s 22 dollars. WHAT THE HELL, AMAZON?! Anyway, currently looking for a better place to sell the print version. Until then, I’m making a total of NOTHING off of those sales.

Yes. That’s right. The print is $22, and NONE of that goes to me...

So, if your goal is to support me, please DON’T buy the print. Better alternatives: My Patreon My Ko-Fi

[ciestessde]

Prologue

Author's Note

Well, after over a year of “helping” her -- after hiring professional editors and everything… Tess has decided to post our story FOR FREE.

… And I can’t even really blame her. Not with everything going on. She’s always had a soft heart, despite what she may think, and something on this scale… It was only a matter of time before she tried to do something to ease other peoples’ pain.

*sigh* Welp. I should probably introduce myself officially. I’m Noctu, Ciestess’s… “sibling” I guess you could call me. I’m an energy being that shares her physical form and travels with her through dimensions. I’m also one of the narrators of the story posted below.

“Crossroad of Infinity: Origins” is our way of introducing ourselves to you: Ciestess, the owner of this blog; Noctu, me; and Xihrae, a lovably annoying bastard you haven’t had the (dis)pleasure of meeting yet. Part 1, “Alone” focuses mostly on Ciestess herself. Part 2, “Family,” focusing on yours truly, will be the next in the series. Then Part 3, “Friends” will wrap things up with the story of how Xihrae came to join our group.

One chapter of Part 1 will be posted each week, most likely until all 28 chapters are available (unless Ciestess changes her mind, but I doubt I’ll be able to convince her). If you do wish to show your support through money, you can buy the book on Google (or through Amazon, but, for reasons explained in a previous post, Google is preferred). You can also donate directly to us through Tess’s Patreon or Ko-fi.

With all that out of the way, Pleasant Reading

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Prologue

Ok, let me admit something right off the bat: I’ve wondered more than a few times whether I actually remember anything about my early childhood at all.

Yeah, see, I might’ve just made it all up from pieces of different lives I’ve lived in other worlds. And since I can’t go back and check, I’ll probably never have an answer, either.

But the early childhood I’ve “imagined” is real enough to me. And it was pretty good. I think my parents both cared about me, that I never went hungry or was abused, and that I got to do a lot of things I loved. Sure, my parents were a little over-protective, and they didn’t understand me, like… at all.

But it’s not like they could have, anyway.

I dunno. Maybe it’s just the rose-tinted glasses, since I can’t actually remember things like what their jobs were, what their names were, what they looked like… But what’s the point in questioning it?

I just… I can’t see the point in fighting or fearing what I can’t change. I never have.

And if it makes me happy, then I REALLY don’t see the point!

And remembering the good parts of my homeworld? THAT makes me happy! So I’m going to start off this tale by indulging myself.

Now, I only have the memories stored in the First Memory Crystal to go by. Which, yes, is vastly better than my “memories” of my early childhood, but I wasn’t exactly expecting to continue living after dying in my homeworld. So, while admittedly better (and I’ll give a brief “thank you” to Noctu, that loveable pseudo-demon, for showing me I remembered more than I realized), my memories of my homeworld still aren’t all that detailed. Also, my homeworld was ruled by vastly different laws of physics compared to this world, so, while I’m going to do my best to explain and translate, please keep those things in mind, haha!

First off, we didn’t have a name for our world, per-say -- at least, not one I can translate beyond “our world.” So I’ve chosen to call it “Illunira.” After how it glowed.

It was cold. There was no sun to warm it -- in fact, there was no outer space at all! Instead, the heat from the center of the planet spread to the surface through lava, and our sky looked out upon a different dimension. Plants grew in that lava, and our sky- that dimension? … It looked like a prism.

There were no seasons. No day or night. Instead, we told time by the changing of the crops: the Planting, Growing, Harvest, and Rest. We sowed our crops in spots where large amounts of life-sustaining, silver-colored lava came to the surface. I’m going to call these “volcanoes,” but they didn’t erupt like the ones here do. They only spilled out and bubbled with lava. Our cities and towns formed around these volcanoes. However, never too close. Too close and we burned.

Well… some of us.

There were three species of intelligent beings: the Anima, the Florus, and the Symbi; and the Florus were able to live closest to the volcanoes, as they were plant-like beings (though, of course, sentient and mobile).

I say they were “plant-like,” but… Illunira’s “plants” more resembled flexible crystals than any vegetation from this world. But, unlike crystals, they glowed with energy siphoned directly from the lava. They were what transformed that energy into something that could sustain life -- much like how plants here do with sunlight. And this was how the Florus “ate” -- directly from the lava. However, since they lost the energy they siphoned rather quickly, they could never stray far from a source of their “food.” (In this way, perhaps they were more like reptiles that couldn’t let themselves get too “cold”?)

In contrast, the Symbi, clusters of single-celled beings that worked together to form larger “communities,” stayed far away from the blustering warmth of the lava. It would easily kill some of their members. Far from being crystalline, the Symbi were more like living, coordinated plasma; they only had a solid form or shape when they wanted to. And, as I understood it, it took quite a bit of effort to do so. So they rarely did.

The Symbi gained energy from… … Huh. Y’know, I don’t think I ever saw them feed -- but then, how could I? They were far too small. They almost seemed self-sustaining, in that way. Although I know they couldn’t have been.

The Anima, essentially humanoid beings, were something between the two. We were beings that couldn’t feed from the lava, nor get too close to it, like the Symbi. We held a more solid, crystal-like structure like the Florus, yet we also flowed with formless plasma internally, allowing us greater freedom of movement and separation from our energy-sources than them. We seemed able to feed off of almost anything that wasn’t the lava itself: smaller creatures, the “plants,” and even some… I’m honestly not sure what they were, but there were these floating, excess energy… things that we could absorb.

… Perhaps that’s what the Symbi ate…?

Regardless -- All of us glowed. All of us lived together, fed one another. Ruled over and under each other. All of us had souls. And, when our bodies inevitably died, all of us became the Dead Ones.

The Dead Ones... those whose physical bodies had died, lived on as beings of pure energy in the outer atmosphere -- inside the divide between Illunira and the dimension surrounding it. Though, only for a limited time. Only until their energy ran out.

This dimension I call “Prizmal” because it looked -- and still looks -- like a prism from a distance. Some believed Prizmal to be the afterlife, while others insisted it was what fed the planet’s core with energy. Either way, only the Dead Ones -- who had solely prizmal bodies, without any material elements -- were allowed to travel there. Anyone else would die so far from the planet’s heat.

I know because they tried, once. How could they do that, you may wonder?

Because we floated.

We weren’t tied down to the land. All of us: Anima, Symbi, Florus -- anything that wasn’t a plant -- floated and flew.

Because everything that lived there was only ever half-made of matter. And the other half was energy. So we floated.

  I said everything glowed, but it wasn’t a bright place. On the contrary, it was quite dark! But that darkness just made every light seem to shine that much brighter!

Small animals would skitter across pools of silvery lava, sparkling against it and any other reflective surface. Sometimes you’d see a light come up from under the non-glowing, pitch-black ground to reveal a tiny nose. Or you’d see a mass of similar-shaped flames rushing in one direction and, on closer inspection, realize it was a herd or pack of some larger creatures traveling together. Sparks would flicker in the sky, alone or in droves, looking for smaller sparks to swallow.

All of it against the empty darkness of the ground below, or the shattered, diffused light of Prizmal and the Dead Ones above.

Darkness and light extending in every direction, like a sea of living and moving neon signs on a starless night. Everything glowed. All so many different colors.

… I miss how colorful it was there.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[ciestessde]

Chapter 3

In Illunira, our spirits, our auras, glowed so, SO many different colors!

From bright primary colors, to muddy browns, to dull grays… Some were so bright you could barely look at them, others so dark they almost looked black!

[Beginning]

But they weren’t just there to look pretty. All those different shades of color and light had a purpose: the color or quality of a person’s spirit signaled what “polarity” they belonged to.

The polarities were opposite, but connected, energies that could only be given off by living souls. They were all aspects of inner psychology, or the relations between people -- things soulless beings (at least, in Illunira) were incapable of having. There were five total. You needn’t remember them all, but it is important that you understand the basics. So I’ll lay it out as simply as I can:

.

The actual colors were, respectively, Yellow/Blue for the Order/Chaos polarity, Green/Purple for the Self/Others polarity, and Red/Cyan for the Emotion/Logic polarity. The qualities of those colors were Saturated/Desaturated for Activity/Passivity, Light/Dark for Direct (action)/Indirect (action), and finally…

The one you DO need to remember: the Demonic/Angelic axis. Which didn’t have a color or quality, and which most people struggled to even detect. Let alone identify.

.

Everyone in my homeworld had one of these “spirit types,” but even more important than their polarity -- was their “orientation.” Because the orientation of their spirit identified what their prizmal body required to survive.

This part you will need to remember, but it’s already rather simple: A person could be either an absorber, an emitter, or a balancer of a specific color or quality. In order to live, absorbers needed to absorb a type of energy; emitters needed to emit a type of energy; and balancers needed to absorb a type of energy and emit its opposite polarity.

Any orientation could be any color. But the same wasn’t true of qualities. While almost everything WAS on a sliding-scale -- anyone extremely dark or desaturated was an absorber, anyone very saturated or light was an emitter… And anyone highest in the qualities of “demonic” or “angelic” energies -- WAS a balancer.

And if they were a balancer -- they were taken. Trained by the Dead Ones to become their “lower-leaders.”

This was how my possibly-imagined happy childhood ended.

A person’s spirit type was identified during their childhood in a ceremony known as their “Emerging.” The outcome determined how the child would be educated for the rest of their youth. So serious an affair was it that every Emerging was performed by a Dead One. They’d look into the child’s spirit extremely deeply, examine the balance of the colors -- of the Polarities -- until they identified the dominant traits, then, if needed, they’d feed the child each type of energy, waiting to see if it was absorbed, rejected, or… its opposite emitted.

I only remember one part of my Emerging clearly -- the single glance the Dead One took at me before identifying my spirit type. A demon-eater. One of the two spirit types that were both loved and feared above all others.

Here I was, my neighbors’ beloved little innocent princess -- one of them. I can just imagine the thought in their heads the second they heard: “I should have known. She was just TOO likeable.” Because, you see, a demon-eater -- I -- absorb “demonic” energy and emit “angelic” energy. Whether I want to or not.

So, as long as those around me are unaware, I ca- ah… … Nevermind.

Mercifully, I didn’t have long to dwell on the reactions of the people I’d grown up around. Demon-eaters were so rare -- and so feared and treasured by the Dead Ones -- that I was removed immediately for “training.” I was thrust into an inescapable exercise I can only describe as Brainwashing and Loyalty 101.

I think the “Balancers’ Creed” just about says it all: “Obey the Dead Ones in charge of you unquestioningly. Always scan the auras of those around you, making sure the environment remains peaceful. If you encounter an Unsalvageable -- or, worse, a Rebel -- capture them and send them to an Unsalv Civilization. However, if they are a balancer, True Kill them on-sight.”

Ah, yes, “Unsalvageables.” I doubt I need to explain what a “Rebel” was, but care to take a guess at what it meant for someone to be “unsalvageable?”

An “Unsalv” was anyone who was too high in two or more of these three colors: Green, Red, or Blue -- too Selfish and Emotional, too Emotional and Chaotic, or too Chaotic and Selfish. One of them was fine, they could be reasoned with through Order, Logic, or their care for Others. But if too high in either of the other two as well, they were likely to… “spread trouble.” Of course, this meant someone Active was infinitely more likely to be an Unsalv than someone Passive. Hard to be high in any two colors when your defining feature is being gray.

As for the meaning of “True Kill” -- well…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[ciestessde]

Chapter 18

Let's turn back the clock for a moment…

It's a while, yet, before Tess is supposed to fully turn Lucy.

And since it's good cover for establishing a relationship with the locals, she's been working at this little pub for the past few weeks.

[Beginning]

Imagine our surprise, then, when we spot Abraham Van Helsing, of all people, arguing with the cook. We knew he was coming at some point, but, once again, Xihrae had "accidentally" neglected the details. Despite the short time to prepare, Tess isn't thrown off, thinking only, < … Well, now's as good a time as any, I suppose. >

Once they've finished, Tess asks the cook what the argument was about. That answered, she grabs and scarfs down her own food -- and waits for the perfect time to make her entrance.

"I didn't realize the pub offered breakfast this late," Tess says, her tone light-hearted yet accusatory. "Hm?" In the middle of taking a bite, he looks up at her (Tess's eyes just barely above his own) and spills a bit of egg from his mouth. She's not yet donned her uniform, so any attempt at intimidation via authority is pointless. And yet…

He swallows and, stoic, mutters, "Not my first choice." Not to be denied, Tess tries again, "Oh yeah? What would be?" She puts a hand on her hip and tilts her head down at him. "Because I hear the chef takes requests now."

He flinches. < There we go. At least he has the decency to look guilty. > "I… suppose I could have handled that better." "A bit." He regains his bluster, "-But in my defense, my first choice would have been a proper amount of sleep." His face scrunches in disgust (< He looks like an angry bulldog, haha! >), "No rest for the wicked, I suppose."

"…" Tess pulls the stool out from the other side of the small table and plops down. "Why the lack of rest? What are you doing that's so 'wicked' -- if I may ask?"

His mouth thins, and he looks away. "Such things are no concern of a young woman." "Oh?"

And then, the door opens- -and HE comes in.

Thankfully, HIS presence here is a detail Xihrae did not "accidentally" leave out. If he had, this game of hi-... of ours would have been over the very first moment Tess and I met… "Jacob." Nonetheless, I still have to push down the touch of panic that "Jacob" causes every time I see him.

Tess waves to "Jacob," tonight's waiter, as he passes us, continuing her conversation with Helsing, "And I suppose there's nothing I could do to change your mind?" "Hmf!" I can't tell whether that was a laugh or a scoff, but his next words are… gentle, "…This really isn't something you ought to concern yourself with. It's too much for the weak-willed, best left for a man."

< … > < Tess. Control yourself. > < ... I will choose to ignore the last part. >

"'Not for the weak-willed,'" Tess thinks for a moment -- then grins, "…Alright, then." She clicks her tongue twice. It takes only a couple seconds -- the puppy (now about three-fourths grown and considerably larger than most dogs) opens the door with his paws, enters, and comes directly to the table. She snaps her fingers. The pup obeys, sitting beside her. The wolf stares Helsing in the eyes for a couple seconds, before looking back at its master. With the obedient beast beside her, and Tess still dressed in her usual, flowing black dress… Images I'd caught from mirrors in the castle's halls surface at the thought.

And I wonder -- how ethereal must Tess look to him in this moment?

After a couple pats, Tess orders the pup, "Open." It opens its mouth, and Tess places her arm inside the wolf's jaws. Understanding seems to dawn in Helsing's mind a moment too late, "Now, hold on a moment-!" "Snap!" Tess yells.

Helsing lets out a guttural yelp, preparing to leap across the table, as the wolf's jaws SLAM down on Tess's arm- -and stop precisely as its teeth meet her flesh, without so much as a single droplet of blood.

Helsing drops his fork, his eyes wide and mouth agape like a stranded fish. Tess removes her arm, pets the pup, snaps her fingers, and points at the ground. The pup obeys, circling a couple times before lying down facing the door. Since he's still busy gaping, Tess takes the opportunity to add, "I work the night-shift here a few times a week -- just me and my dog. What were you saying about being weak-willed?"

"Why…!" If possible, his eyes have gone even wider. "You really trained this beast? And- and work in a pub while-" "-I RUN the pub. Alone. At night." "Ha!" < Now that was a laugh! > Helsing sits back down. He's returning Tess's grin, and his shoulders are back and head raised. "My apologies, miss…?" "Ciestess. You can call me 'Tess,' if you like." "Miss Ciestess, you may be one of the bravest women I've ever met." "Then I'm afraid you haven't met many women." "Ha!" He picks his fork back up.

"So," Tess leans forward and rests her arms on the table, "Why are you in here eating breakfast for your dinner?"

"Ah, well, that…" He pokes at a piece of meat, but doesn't stab it. His eyes flit between her and his food as he answers, "I'm a doctor, you see. And a patient of mine is suffering from a rather unusual condition. Extremely rare. It requires I look after her throughout the night hours."

"Hm…" Tess feigns worry -- eyebrows raised and pulled together, "What condition? Is it contagious?"

He looks up at her again. "Oh! No, no-ah… Mm, well… Yes, but…" Breaking eye contact, he searches for his knife. Grabbing it, he stabs the meat and cuts it -- with more force than strictly necessary -- into bite-sized pieces. "... It's… It's rather difficult to-... Well, you're unlikely to believe it…"

Tess sits up straight again. "You're a doctor, aren't you? What reason would I have to doubt you?"

"It…" He pauses his cutting, but still doesn't look at her. "Well, I suppose… working throughout the night… you'd be in more danger NOT knowing…" His knife moves again. He's silent until he finishes cutting up the meat. "... Very well. I'll tell you, but you mustn't let word spread, you understand? The truth is…" He looks up again. "She was attacked, you see. By… By a vampire."

"A vampi-oh!" Tess says, then whispers, "A vampire? You're serious?" "I warned you-" "-No no, I believe you, it's just… surprising, to say the least! How do you know that's what happened?"

"She's suffering from a form of anemia -- she doesn't have nearly as much blood as she ought to… As though she's been bleeding from an open wound," He stabs a piece of meat with his fork. "But the only marks on her are some rather distinct bite marks on her arms and neck. And new ones appear every few nights."

Tess mumbles, "So you've been guarding her…"

"Yes, but it doesn't seem to be working. All I can do is try and set up as many obstacles between her and her attacker as possible."

We're interrupted by "Jacob." He sets a glass down in front of Tess: A sweet tea, with no ice. Tess looks at him, genuinely surprised, "You didn't have to-" "I figured you could use a cup of tea. This is still your favorite, right?" < … Jeez, that smile. How am I supposed to say no? > < Why should you? > I counter, doing my best to act as I normally would -- instead of shouting at her to remain cautious, don't trust him, trust anyone BUT him, and whatever you do, don't drink that-! < ... Good point! > Tess smiles back at him, "Thank you."

"Jacob" returns to his table. Tess sips at the sweet tea. < A little too much sugar, but not bad. > "If you don't mind my asking," she mutters, "How did you come to learn so much about vampires? Do they teach all doctors about them?"

Helsing had returned to eating in the brief silence. It takes him a moment to answer. "No, I'm an unusual case in that regard. I… Well, it's a bit of a personal story…" "I don't-" "-Oh, don't apologize, miss. It's actually rather refreshing to be able to talk like this. As some say, the only people you can truly be honest with are complete strangers."

They share laughter for a moment. Helsing's face becomes solemn, his mouth turning down slightly and his brow furrowed. He takes another bite of his eggs, then starts his story. "... I was still new to being a doctor, at the time. I was working with a friend to cure his brother, who was suffering from, what I learned quickly was, an incurable disease." Helsing takes another bite. His food is almost gone. He's staring at the table.

"The night we expected him to die, my friend requested I leave them alone together. So I did. When I returned the next morning, it was to find them both dead-" His nose wrinkles up, and his lip curls. "-my friend lying next to his brother on the bed, a bite on his neck, and his blood on his brother's mouth." He snatches his cup and guzzles it.

He returns it to the table with a clunk -- but continues clutching it. "I was in shock. Confused. But I'd heard of vampires, of course. I could hardly believe it, but the more I studied the scene, the more certain I became that I wasn't mistaken."

He lifts the cup again, but doesn't drink. He's staring at it, instead of the table, now. "So, perhaps a bit mad in my grief, I admit, I took revenge upon my friend's brother's corpse." His voice has gone monotone and, aside from his furrowed eyebrows, his face wears a neutral expression. "I broke the leg off a wooden chair in the corner of the room and stabbed it through the heart. When I did…" His eyes widen slightly, and his words come more slowly. "Those screams will haunt me to the day I die."

He's stopped talking. < What can I say to that? Should I say anything yet? > < … No. We need to stick to the plan- > Musn't give in to the guilt…! < -Xihrae's plan. >

Thankfully, he continues. He hasn't moved even a little during the silence. His voice seems stronger now. "Suspicions confirmed beyond any doubt, I waited for my friend to wake. I suppose I hoped… I'm not sure WHAT I hoped." He finally looks up from the cup. His pupils have dilated, and the area around his eyes is tense. "That he'd be human? That I could cure him? … No. I suppose… The truth is that I needed to see his inhumanity with my own eyes before I could bring myself to do it. To kill him-

"-No," His eyes widen -- the haunted look in them replaced by madness. "No, to SAVE him! A creature like that…" His lip curls and nose wrinkles again.

He growls, "The only salvation left for them- is death!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[ciestessde]

Chapter 7

When I have no body of my own to measure it with, time moves both too slowly and too quickly.

For Tess, it’s only been a few years. For me, it’s been yet another short eternity.

[Beginning]

Tess’s newest body is in its young-adulthood, and we’ve given up hope that she’ll grow any further. It’s daylight outside, and she’s asleep along with the rest of the castle. But, given that I don’t require sleep, Tess transformed part of her leg into a single bat so that I could… well, do whatever I pleased.

I’ve gotten bored of reading the selection in the castle, though. A break sounds lovely, as reading is difficult in a bat’s body, and I’ve not explored on my own for some time.

The wind is pleasantly soft. The sunlight still burns, but it is less annoying underneath the cover of the trees. The leaves rustle as I pass, and their shadows dance against the forest floor. The wolves are also sleeping, laying near each other and breathing slowly, eyes closed and unmoving. I pass them on my way to the village, wondering what they’re dreaming about.

The humans’ village doesn’t have many books, or information at all, really, for me to feed off of. Nor do the other villages nearby, and the larger town, “Bistritz,” is too far away to be worth flying to with such a small form. (And besides, a bat reading books? I’d be asking for someone to catch me!) But there is one human I can rely on to have a new offering for me: the local bookworm. He returns with new books from the town at least once a month. And, while I could read whatever I desired by simply asking Tess to retrieve it from Bistritz, sometimes it’s worth trying something more… random.

… Or perhaps Xihrae is rubbing off on me. I shiver in disgust at the thought.

I fly higher as I near the bookworm’s house. He’s out doing his chores. Good. I slip under a gap in the roof and crawl my way to his room. His newest book lies on top of his bed. It appears to be a fantasy. I’m less than thrilled by that, but I open it anyway, keeping one ear pointed at the door.

I’ve only gotten a few pages into the (surprisingly engaging) fantasy, when of course Xihrae decides to interrupt. < Are you busy? > < What do you think? > < So, I take it you’re not interested in helping me win a fight? >

< … > I close the book, return things as closely to how they were when I arrived as I can, crawl into the roof once more- -and immediately transfer my consciousness to Xihrae’s body, jumping straight into the brawl Xihrae no doubt started. And I’m a bit curious as to why. An adrenaline junky he may be, but he rarely risks dying and losing a big thrill like the one he has planned for this life. Unless…

… He got into this fight… Just so I could have it? … His thoughtfulness is almost touching.

< I’d have preferred a new book, y’know. > < No you wouldn’t have. Any chance to “experience physicality,” right? > If I had a face, I’d smile.

By the time I return, it’s already dusk. The castle is still as silent as a grave, even though I know every. One. Of its ten dozen residents is awake. I meet Tess outside the entrance, my spirit once again connecting with her’s.

And I notice immediately how hungry she is -- and not for blood. The castle really has become too peaceful for a demon-eater.

I fuse the bat back into her flesh as she watches the sunlight disappear behind the mountains inch-by-inch. Until, eventually, there’s nothing left. Once it’s clear that it won’t hurt anyone inside to leave the door open, she enters. And quietly walks to the three sisters’ room.

She knocks on the door, and they answer -- each carrying a suitcase.

All of their eyes are red from crying. Tess smiles and, without a word, they all hug her. And just like that, they’re crying again. Still, the silence hangs.

Finally, one of them breaks it, “I wish we could stay and help to grow our family, but…” “It’s alright,” Tess says while, needing distance, pulling the woman off of her by the shoulders. She wipes the tears off the sister’s cheeks as cover. “Simply continuing to live is more than enough help.”

These words only make her cry more, though. Tess’s sadness at their departure is now far outweighed by her irritation from the hunger. < Oh well. Not much longer, and I’ll be rid of these drains on my energy. The lot of them just radiate far too much… healthiness. They had to go. >

“Now, the light is gone. You need to get moving if you’re going to make it back indoors before dawn.” Nodding, they grab their bags and start toward the door. They get stopped frequently, each of their “siblings” seeming to come back out for a final goodbye. Even the maids stop cleaning the remains of last night’s celebration to give the three sisters a hug and kisses on their cheeks.

“Quite an army we’ve gathered, hm?” “Gah!”

Tess spins around. < Ha! ~Drac managed to sneak up on you again~! > < Dammit! >

“... Yes, it is,” Tess replies, hiding her irritation.

The sisters make it out the door to the waiting carriage, and Drac and Tess move to a window to watch them leave. Soon enough, the energy-drains disappear behind the trees and hills.

< Y’know, as long as you have him here… > < Oh, right. > “More villagers asked to be turned last night.”

Drac’s eyebrows lower, and his mouth thins. “... Oh? … How many?”

“Too many,” Tess replies, still studying the trees.

< You ordered your pack to guard the sisters until they had left the mountains, right? If you can spot the wolves running next to the path, you could get a meal out of it. Y’know, if someone actually dares to attack. > < No. That would be too conspicuous. > < And you care about that whyyy…? >

Dracula is silent, also gazing out the window. But his eyes aren’t watching the view. “It’s time, then.”

Tess smirks, “Indeed it is. Shall I make the preparations tonight?” He turns to her, raising an eyebrow, “You wish to hire that Englishman so soon?” She shrugs, “No point in waiting, right? The longer this goes on, the less blood is available to feed us.”

���Mm.” He turns back to the outside. He seems to actually be looking this time. “... Do as you wish.”

Tess smiles and starts walking away -- then stops. “Oh, by the way.” He turns, his cloak slithering across the floor. She grins. “I’ve done it. I know how you can leave the castle.”

Drac’s jaw drops a little, his facade faltering in his surprise.

< Aw… He actually almost looks cute like that! Don’t worry, buddy. You’ll get released on the world soon enough. >

< Oh. That’s why! Haha, and here I almost thought you weren’t confident in your skills anymore! >

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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[ciestess]

Ciestess:

Me, Noctu, losing my shit:

😂😈😂😈😂😈😂

Well, I know what world to send us to next.

mods are asleep post illegal lego building techniques

[ciestessde]

Chapter 6

Why?

Why oh why oh WHY a demon-eater, of all things?! I mean, at least you’re an anima, but I’d’ almost have preferred you be a florus -- or even a symbi! Why, at least then I wouldn’t have had to put up with such -- such…!

[Beginning]

UGH! I SWEAR! There is no concept more frustratingly irritating than government!

… Okay, well, perhaps that’s not entirely true, but… UGH! Things are so much easier when I can be in charge! But since I’ll only disappear if my physical body dies, I can’t exactly become a Dead One.

Ooooh…! I’d say you owe me, if not for the fact that you will never have the opportunity to pay me back.

Oh -- WOE IS ME!

I know I said this was a rather decent governmental system -- and I MEANT that! -- but… Ugh. NOTHING makes dealing with authority figures easier in ANY world, I swear!

And them being the Symbi just makes it MORE frustrating!

Alright…! Alright… You can get through this… Just… Remind yourself of the good things!

The Symbi are good leaders -- the system works. It’s just that they’re slow- -No! No, they’re, um… Thorough. Yes… Yes. Thorough.

Which is good! Them being… Thorough. And, um… (c’mon, you can come up with something else) … Impartial! Yeah.

… Yeah!

Yeah, the Symbi are unbiased in their rule over the Anima. The Anima are compassionate in their rule over the Florus. And the Florus are, um… motivated -- in their rule over the Symbi!

Right. Yeah.

… Ugh. This isn’t helping.

Am I in a mood? Perhaps I’m simply in a mood. … No. I can’t even convince myself of that.

Ugh! Time to admit it to myself: I miscalculated.

Yes. It’s true, Future Heir. Even after an entire lifetime of studying how to navigate the Crossroad, mistakes are all but inevitable. You see, then, why even my ice-cold heart had pity on you?

… Heh. I can hear some of my past loves mocking me for that statement. “Ice-cold?” they’d say, “When the source of this breakdown you’re having is--?!”

…

Heh… Get used to having a broken heart, Future Heir. It’s the only kind you’ll ever have. You’ll think you’ve gotten over it, and then it will start bleeding again the moment you see, for example, a brainwashed “peacekeeper” forced to murder an innocent child.

Haugh… Why? Why did you have to be a demon-eater?

… Why did my aim have to miss? I wanted to live my final life in a peaceful world! I thought I’d aimed for the center of a peaceful portion of this world’s timeline -- not the END of its peace!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You may have figured this out by now, but the “lower-leaders” were just peacekeeper-soldiers trained by the Dead Ones. They didn’t really hold their own authority. Well, they did, but… only as far as their -- our -- job entailed.

We were trained to keep the environment peaceful and, well, balanced. Because if an area became too over- or under-saturated in an energy type -- people could die.

Granted, balancers were the greatest threat to that balance. If a balancer became too prizmally “hungry” for the energy type they needed, they would end up setting a Balancer’s Flame; anyone who came into contact with the balancer, and then anyone they came in contact with, and so-on, would become a breeding ground for the balancer’s energy type.

The Dead Ones did everything to avoid that disaster. Not the least of which was inundating the balancers with mental blockages and conditioning against setting Flames.

So you see, balancers naturally held quite a lot of power, but, if anything, they were the lowest class of citizen.

… Hey, honest question: Can you call people “citizens” if there are no countries? ‘Cause there weren’t countries on my homeworld -- the Dead Ones ruled over all Illunira. … Eh. Whatever, I guess. There used to be countries before I was born, but that was generations ago. Before the “War of Instability.”

See, the reason balancers were so feared wasn’t just because of how powerful they were. But because they used to be the ruling class. Originally, every world leader was a balancer. But they started fighting over contradicting ideals and their desire for each others’ resources. (So, y’know. Typical reasons.)

The Symbi were the ones who came up with the new system -- as the name I picked for them might suggest, they were quite adept at “living in harmony.” According to them, we needed unbiased rulers. And who better to be unbiased than the Dead Ones? After all, before this new system went into place, they weren’t even interested in interacting with the Illunirans -- before, they just wanted to live what remained of their time here in peace, floating above the clouds and… doing whatever it was they did up there in the atmosphere.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

… I suppose the saddest bit might be that this world’s government really does work quite well, otherwise -- having those who have no stake in Illunira’s affairs be in charge is quite ingenious. The “Dead Ones” themselves are just… Fascinating. This same-world afterlife is one of those “alien aspects” I’ve grown quite fond of, but this is the first I’ve seen the two states-of-being interact so often.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

In retrospect, it should’ve been obvious that the very act of bringing them in would create the very same biases that dooms every government to failure.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

But… That distance from the livings’ affairs has its drawbacks as well, of course. There’s always some catch in imperfect worlds like these.

Heh. I say “like these” as though I’ve ever managed to reach a perfect world! Here’s another piece of advice, Future Heir:

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Although… I suppose I can’t say for sure that the balancers didn’t deserve to be treated the way the system treated them. I don’t really know what Illunira was like back then.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Don’t bother trying to reach a “perfect world.”

-It’s not that they don’t exist! They do! But since you originated from an IMperfect one --

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

… But I know what it turned into.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Trying to reach a “perfect” world will be impossible.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[ciestessde]

Chapter 5

A few years have passed, now. This body is in its late-teens.

Yet it hasn’t even grown a foot in height.

[Beginning]

It’s early morning. The sun hasn’t yet risen, but its light peeks out from behind the mountains.

Xihrae and Tess are sitting at the table in the castle’s library, papers strewn all over every surface in vaguely-organized piles. So that Xihrae can read, we’ve lit every torch along the walls. It’s not painful, but the room is slightly too bright for Tess’s comfort. Much longer and she could get another headache -- something this form seems prone to.

“What’s all this?” Tess flinches. < No, no, he’s not supposed to be here! I thought Drac was helping the maids hunt! >

She glances up from the papers in her hands. < Gah, he must have gotten done early, somehow! I was so focused, I didn’t even hear the door open- > < -Assuming Drac even opened it to begin with and didn’t, oh… just slip in underneath it using his mist form? > I jab at her, still trying to get her to ask Drac how he does that, but Tess is too nervous about Drac’s sudden entry to reply.

Despite having been hunting, he’s dressed in his usual far-too-expensive-to-actually-be-practical robes. Tess drops her gaze back to the papers. We were hoping to keep this a secret for a bit longer. Things aren’t quite ready yet, but… Oh well. Nothing to be done about it now.

“It’s research. On the villagers.” Tess sets the papers down, resigning herself to having to deal with an angry Drac. She looks up at him -- but he’s not looking at her anymore. He’s glaring -- at Xihrae. … Oh, no. He hates it when anyone enters his territory uninvited.

If I wasn’t so nervous, I might’ve taken control of Tess’s body to glare at Xihrae. The jerk probably -- no, he definitely planned this little scenario. < Damn you, you adrenaline-junky! >

“And who, may I ask, is this?” His voice actually manages to send shivers down Tess’s spine. No small feat. She swallows her nerves. < I must stay calm. This needs to work! > “This is Xihrae.” She glances at the human in question -- he’s not even paying attention, not worried at all. Jeez… Typical. < What, not enough of a high for you?! > “He was with those travelling performers that visited a couple months ago. I… took a liking to him. And…” She pauses and takes a breath. < Here goes, > “-I knew he’d be useful.”

“Useful.” Drac finally turns his gaze back to her. “And how, precisely, is a human ‘useful’ to us?”

< Drac is as stiff as a statue. > < Maybe I can still calm him down…? > < ... Worth a shot. > “The villagers are more likely to trust us if-”

“Why on this godforsaken planet would we need those mortals to trust us…?”

< Well, uh… He’s not screaming yet, at least? > < Sure, but your chances of calming him are slipping. > < Either be helpful, or stay out of this, jerk! >

< Jeez! How best to get him to listen…? ... Maybe appealing to practicality? > “As the nearest supply of blood, it will be much easier-” “Have you forgotten what I taught you?!”

< Nope. > < Yeah, too late. Time to just ride it out. I’ll get my chance to talk eventually. >

“They killed everyone! And I could do NOTHING!” His arms are waving, no longer held stiffly at his sides. “They cursed me -- trapped me in my own home! I had to sit here, on this pile of dirt, while my friends and family died in battle! The humans slaughtered us!”

He’s pacing now. His robes woosh and snap behind him as he moves. Xihrae still only has eyes for the papers on the table in front of him. < Hey. Jerkwad. I know we worked out your cover beforehand -- and I’m sure you’ve determined ~EvErYtHiNg WiLl WoRk OuT fInE~ -- but a little help WOULD STILL BE APPRECIATED! > The jerk just smirks. < No need. Tess hasn’t completed Dracula’s transformation yet, and this outburst will help speed that along. We need to gain more influence over him before we can execute the next step.

< And besides… > He glances up at the angry, powerful vampire that’s on the verge of killing him, his smirk widening, < … Isn’t this FUN?! > < Remind me why I’m friends with you two psychos. > < ~Because you love us~! > Tess chips in.

“You and I are all that’s left- and you are a mere dhampir! A powerful dhampir, yes. Perhaps even as powerful as a normal vampire -- but you are more frail than an average dhampir, without a vampire’s immortality, and incapable of ever fully turning!” He stops his pacing to lock his glare into her eyes. “And you wish to befriend the very creatures that caused this?! I thought the goal -- OUR mission -- was to restore vampires! Not befriend our enemies!” Anger rolls off of him. His eyes are even glowing.

< Jeez he’s mad! > < It is a bit of an overreaction. > < A bit?! How do you put up with this?! >

“Tell me, because I truly cannot comprehend why you would want to do such a thing!!!” Despite not strictly needing to breath, he’s out of breath from that outburst. Tess lets him stand there, recovering, for a few moments before, voice as calm and confident as possible, she finishes her explanation. “In order to increase our numbers, we first need a reliable food supply. If the villagers trust us, the benefits will be threefold: They’ll supply the consistent source of blood we’ll need, some of them may volunteer to be turned, and they may even help to hide us from other humans.”

She holds up some of the papers, “So I’ve been researching and planning the best ways to go about gaining their trust- “-For example,” she exchanges the papers in her hand for a folder, “many of the villagers seem to be falling ill lately. And many have died.” She lowers her hand and holds his gaze. As her words have sunk in, his expression has become much less poisonous- though not exactly calm. “If they believed becoming vampires would cure these illnesses, why… we might even become heroes to ‘those mortals.’ “If their own families were among our members,” Tess lets herself grin, “I’ve no doubt they would be eager to provide us with ANYTHING we asked.”

The sounds of silence and Xihrae’s paper shuffling reign. Dracula’s gaze goes unfocused as he thinks.

He starts pacing again. And he paces. And paces.

And stops. His posture gradually relaxes. He grins.

“Oh… Oh, I see. You’re not proposing an alliance with them,” he looks at her, “You’re not trying to reduce their fear -- why, you’re increasing it.” He starts pacing again, hand to his chin, a finger just touching his lower lip. “Their lives would be in our hands, whether to turn them or not. Yes, if they became reliant on us… Why, we could use them as our very own foot soldiers…” He pauses, looks up -- and his eyes flash, “You’re trying to make them our loyal servants!”

Tess smiles. < Good. Yes, old buddy. That’s all we’re up to… > And of course that’s when Xihrae decides to join the conversation. Without even looking up from his papers he declares, “The plan would go even more smoothly if you joined us, Count.”

I use Tess’s body to glare at him after all. < Noctu… > Tess thinks warningly at me, < Hey, at least he addressed Drac by his title. >

Dracula sends Xihrae a disgusted, hateful glance -- which may as well have gone unnoticed by this idiot. Tess takes back control and clears her throat, regaining Drac’s attention. “Actually, that would be helpful. They’ll be much more inclined to trust in someone they’ve met in-person.” It’s almost imperceptible, but I notice Drac shifting in the way he does when he’s uncertain or uncomfortable: Just a slight movement of one shoulder. Tess clarifies, “You needn’t do so often, just… special occasions. For example, when you agree to turn someone, perhaps you could… come to the gate and greet their families?”

He’s silent. Tess is as well, allowing him time to think. “... Perhaps,” is all he replies -- before walking out of the room.

“… I guess that’s the best I could hope for, for now. He doesn’t like change.” When Xihrae doesn’t say anything in response, Tess glances at him. He’s grinning. … Tess smirks. Because if he’s grinning, then- < I have nothing to worry about. >

A speck of guilt tries to rise high enough within my spirit for Tess to sense it, and I squash it back down.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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My efforts to find a better place to sell the print copies of this book have... not been, shall we say, fruitful. Until I can find one, I'm not making any money off of the print book sales. But, at the same time, I want anyone who wants a print copy to be able to get one. So, for now, I guess the book stays on Amazon (here's the link to it). If anyone has any suggestions on where else I could sell, I'd appreciate it. (Also, if anyone knows a good website to sell merch, there are a few drawings from the book I could make available, too, if anyone is interested.)

If you want to help support me, sharing my work is the best thing you can do. But if you want to give me money: First, THANK YOU!!! And second, here's my Patreon and Ko-fi.

You can also buy this ebook on Google for 2 USD. (This is the best version.)

[ciestessde]

Chapter 4

My goodness, it's been SO long since I’ve enjoyed a world this much!

I mean, I’m not normally one to care about aesthetics, but perhaps I should have tried this sooner!

[Beginning]

No sun, a highly volcanic planet, a decent government (for now, anyway), and a full selection of interesting non-sentient life!

And. It. Glows!

EVERYTHING GLOWS HERE!

I mean, of course it does. With no sun and all. These types of physics demand such an energy flow to sustain life.

It’s just… very … appealing.

All these colors shining off of animals’ bodies; their fur, skin, scales, exoskeleton -- all of it glistening like oil on water…

Looking out at the environment and seeing all these colors:

The black earth.

The silvery, mirror-like lava.

The various neon plants…

And best of all, the prizmal bodies of the Dead Ones, moving and shifting against Prizmal far up above the clouds like fireworks.

And the more physical bodies of the still-fully-alive Illunirans…! Glowing like rainbows and reflecting off the lava underneath!!!

How lucky you are, Future Heir, to have been born into such a wondrous world!

Though, heh… I guess I should say UNlucky, huh?

Well, regardless. I’m certainly enjoying this.

Not a bad choice for a world to go out on, if I do say so myself. It’s both comforting in its familiarity, and interesting in its alien aspects.

Y’know… It’s been so long since I’ve seen my own homeworld… I think some of these “alien aspects” feel more familiar to me now than the ones I was born into.

I wonder if that will happen to you someday? ...Probably.

-Heh… But no. I can’t.

…

Old habits die so hard. I want SO BADLY to just… shake things up in this world.

How would those unsuspecting pricks at the top react to an all-out civil war? To a new cult? To brand new, strange creatures messing up their ecosystem?! To-!

I may have given up fitting in during my travels, for the most part. Why bother, right? It’s not like I won’t get another chance to PLAY if I mess up.

But THIS time I actually have a goal -- one I really do only have one shot at. I’m not just here to sight-see.

Ugh…! Woe is me…!

Oh, how my stupid heart has inconvenienced me! Of all the times to have pity on someone!

But I have had pity on you, Future Heir. And, no doubt, I’ll never even hear a “thank you” for it, either.

Well, then, where to begin…

…

This really is a decent governmental system, actually, isn’t it?

With them making sure everyone is able to live in a certain level of comfort, I can easily relax and organize my thoughts for you to peruse later.

Very nice. Very nice, indeed.

Huh… Makes me wish I’d done some things differently back on…

No! I’m getting distracted again. Gah!

This is my last world! I intend to enjoy what little time I have left. Be grateful I chose to teach you anything at all!

… Oh, well. Perhaps it will help to simply get it out of my system…?

…

Alright, fine, it’s a flimsy excuse to indulge myself and nothing more, but…

These half-energy, half-matter worlds are so very preferable to their counterparts. Their level of unpredictability is unmatched! I can never fully guess how the interaction of the Great Energy Dimension and the essences of the intelligent life will affect the material aspects of these worlds-

When they are So. Very. Close to each other!

And having three separate intelligent species -- it increases that unpredictability-!

-Oh.

… Oh, dear… I, um…

… Perhaps I, ah… Miscalculated…

Oh, I do hope you end up an Anima, Future Heir. Otherwise, ah… communication could be…

Difficult.

As much as I enjoy the challenge of trying to understand and empathize with them, I do not like the prospect of trying to communicate such complicated concepts as interdimensional travel and reincarnation to a plant-like florus or a single-celled symbi…

Such things require language, and language isn’t an option with them.

… Wait. What would it even be like for a symbi to become the Keeper? Could a symbi become the Keeper?!

I’ve never seen a symbi all on their own. In fact, I’m fairly certain they’re too small to see with the naked eye, so…?

Would its entire “community” become the Keeper? Or…? Oh, dear, oh dear…!

Haugh! Well.

Too late now, I suppose.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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We finally got to hear from my predecessor, the previous Keeper of the Crossroad of Infinity! (Don't worry, this is the last narrator.)

Update: The person who's doing the podfic for "Phantasma Magica" has agreed to make an audiobook for CofI!!! (They've also given me permission to share their name, now. She's "Em" from ShadowQuillsInk -- one of the editors of this story.) Look forward to that, and THANK YOU EM!!! T^T

Also, whenever the audiobook is complete, I'm thinking about turning it into a... would it be called a "video novel"...? I'm considering making a video by putting the audio to some drawings.

Would anyone be interested in that?

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[ciestess]

Noctu: This... This is you.

This is what you do to me.

Tess: What? Me? Annoy you? Hmm, maybe you shouldn't take over my body without asking first, huh?

[ciestessde]

Chapter 1

When Ciestess arrives in our new world, her first thought is something completely pointless.

< Cold… I’m cold again… < … I HATE the cold. >

Tess knew she’d be cold. She starts off cold almost every time she arrives in a new world. And yet she always acts surprised by it each time.

She’s lying down. I can feel grass and dirt underneath our new body. So she’s outside, then.

There’s something poking her side, maybe a twig or rock. It hurts, but not enough to make her move yet, apparently. Always so careless about her health, I swear…

She opens her eyes. There’s a tree trunk in front of her. A forest, then? Ah, there we go -- she sits up. Not just a forest. She’s on a mountain.

She gives a long-suffering sigh. < Why can’t my body ever form with clothes on? No matter how many times it happens, it never gets any less annoying. < Noctu isn’t bugging me yet, at least. > Oh yeah? Looks like it’s time for Xihrae’s present!

I send the information our newest companion’s gathered into her brain, and her head throbs all the way to the eye sockets. < Jeez! C’mon, man, really?! I get making sure I’m prepared, but this is too much information! Now I’m cold AND I have a headache! It’s like I studied for over a hundred tests in five minutes!!! > One hand goes up to her head, the other to the ground to help keep her steady. She’s swaying, the world spins… < Ooooh, my head! I’m gonna be sick! I need a distraction -- anything but the pounding in my skull! >

She looks outward for a distraction, while inside her new brain synthesizes the rush of information and experiences about this world. She starts at her toes. This new body seems to be humanoid, as Tess prefers. Similar, in its basic form, to her original body, and the kind of form she’s been in for the past few worlds. Working to stand, she gets her feet under her, wobbling in the unfamiliar gravity, nervous system, and bodily proportions. < I’m… maybe average size for its age? Still smaller than I’d like. > < What were you expecting, > I interrupt her thoughts, < when starting out at prepubescence? > As her gaze moves up, I notice several differences about this body. It has fangs, I can feel a strength like iron in every muscle, and, although it’s night, she can see for miles in every direction.

< Greeeaaat. And just when my head finally stops pounding, I’m interrupted by yet another annoyance; as usual, I’ve arrived hungry. Be-a-utiful. > < Well, yeah. A new body doesn’t come with a full stomach any more than it does with clothes. > < Although… Wait, I’m hungry for-? > < -Yep! And on that note, Xihrae knew you’d be interested in this the moment he heard about it. > I point out a specific set of information in her head. < The world’s last vampire. Until you showed up, anyway. > She’s started grinning without even realizing it. < Aww, you two! Always spoiling me~! You really know how to brighten a girl’s mood! >

Now used to her newest flesh prison, she stretches her new prizmal body a bit. It seems that, while Prizmal itself is far from connected to the material aspects of this world, her own prizmal body can interact with any matter it touches. < Well. Having to drink blood isn’t exactly ideal, but, hey!- > The ground underneath her turns to shadow, then spreads up and envelopes her. < -at least I can make my own clothes, for once! >

She just makes a simple black dress. No need for anything fancy.

And no time, either. She hears something approaching -- a LOT of somethings.

She stretches her eyesight. < In the bushes. Is that…? -No way! > < Oh, no. >

She lets out a little scream of delight, “Ah! Wolfies!” She doesn’t love wolves NEARLY as much as vespers, but they are definitely up there on her “favorite animals” list. …Which means I’m gonna be stuck listening to her blather on about them the whole time we’re in this world.

Tess thanks her new body for its instincts as she transforms into a flock of bats, each only about two inches long, to get a closer look. She dodges through tree limbs and around foliage, and if I had a face, I’d cringe at the handful of times she crashes. We find a surprise when she reaches the nearest one. < JEEZ, it’s huge! I’d almost forgotten how big wolves are! > < Actually… > I do a quick calculation, relating the size of the wolf to the nearby elements, < It’s bigger than average by approximately- >

< -Yeah, whatever -Don’t care -CUTE! > But karma must exist here, because the wolf notices her, snapping at the air with enormous, drooling, teeth-filled jaws- < -Bigwolf,lotsofdrool,bigjaws,MANYTEETH! > She had also, apparently, forgotten how freaking high they can jump, because she only barely dodges in time. < Hey! That’s no way to treat a new guest! > < … Was that meant to be out lou-? > < I know, I know. I’m currently still ba- > < -Because bats can’t talk, y’kno-! > < -Shut up! I’m doing well for only, like… 5 minutes in! > < Haha! ~Whatever makes you feel better, sweetie~! >

She finds a nice-sized branch above the creature and transforms back to her humanoid fleshiness- and pauses to listen. < … Rustling? -Oh. It’s packmates! 1, 2, 3… > They stalk out of the trees slowly. There’s maybe ten of them, all growling and barking at her, their eyes reflecting the moonlight. She purses her lips. < … No. No, this just won’t do. They are all far too cute to have angry at me. < I want to pet them, dammit!

< Alright… Deep breath. > Oh! She’s about to start a hypnotizing song. I always love watching this part! I tune in more deeply to the senses of her body, trying to feel what she feels. The wind gusts, filling our nose with the scent of autumn- -When one of them starts howling.

The others all join in -- it’s SO LOUD!

We cover our ears, cringing in pain and realizing, belatedly, that of course Tess’s hearing is more sensitive than Xihrae’s! All of her senses are more sensitive than his! But still… Listening past the pain, it’s a rather beautiful noise… Almost a shame to interrupt.

But, in the shadows of the trees on the other side of the small clearing -- a new audience member is watching. So it’s time to put on a show. We take another breath. The wind slows. And Tess sings.

…

It takes a couple minutes to have an effect. But slowly, the howling stops. Once every wolf is silently staring at her, she jumps down -- a fall that would have broken both of Xihrae’s legs, yet she barely feels it. < Well well. You finally get a body that isn’t as fragile as PAPER for once! > I jab at her. It’s an exaggeration… But, more to my own annoyance than her’s, only barely.

The wolves approach her, blocking any escape. They’re large enough, and Tess small enough, that they can look her in the eyes. They sniff her -- then start licking her and pounding the ground with their paws. Tess grins widely, uncontrollably. < Aaaww! A group of giant predators, acting like I’m their leader?!

< So cute! > She scratches behind the nearest wolf’s ears. “Who’s a dangerous predator! Who’s a good giant puppy!?”

“...” As she’s having the time of her short-lived life, her mysterious audience member decides to show himself. He steps out from beneath a nearby pine, the shadows clinging to him -- then dispersing as he pulls away from them, evidently having only been held in place by his presence. An old man, almost twice Tess’s height. Wrinkled face, white hair reaching past his shoulders. Matching long white mustache and goatee. Dressed in a clearly expensive suit. Eyes the color of blood.

… And fangs poking out of his smile. He’s clapping with skeleton-like hands -- and chuckling.

The last vampire.

The name Xihrae had saved for her surfaces in her mind. < This must be “Dracula.” > Along with the name comes one of Xihrae’s master plans, solidifying itself step-by-step inside her head. Having watched him form it, I vouch for it; in this case, it (probably) isn’t a setup for some kind of chaos.

Still, it’s not impossible for him to hide information from me. And yet, despite my doubts, despite the number of times he’s tricked us, Ciestess insists upon trusting him! I just don’t understand… But. Even if I don’t agree, I… Well. Tess has decided to trust him.

So, I’ll let it slide. For now.

Having reviewed her course of action, Tess braces herself to play the long-game. < Well, then. Time to put on my best innocent act. > Aaah! A show I love even more than her singing: Watching the effects of her aura on brand new souls! Fumbling, she extracts herself from the mountain of paws, tongues, and wagging tails. < Time to make a good impression. >

She twists and fidgets her hands in front of her, makes her eyes go wide, eyebrows tilted up and in, the corners of her mouth tilted down -- and many other microexpressions, adding up to an overall fearful and guilty appearance. She squeaks out, “I’m s- I’m so sorry for trespassing! -” -But he interrupts her apologies, “I’ve never seen my wolves take so well to an outsider.” His voice is deep, but not as deep as I had expected.

He stops clapping, folding his hands behind him as he walks towards her. The wolves move out of his way quickly, sitting at attention on either side of his path like soldiers. Even the ones near her stop playing to stand and watch him, their ears and eyes trained on him, tails low and unmoving. Dracula only stops once he’s within arms reach of Tess, staring down with a calm, intrigued expression.

And that’s all he does, for a few moments. His eyes bore into hers. Then-

“How did you learn such an ability?” Still feigning nervous energy -- hands fidgeting, feet shifting -- she replies, holding eye contact, “I was… born with it. I think?” “You think?” Nothing has changed, yet the tension coming from him is palpable. Pursing her lips, Tess breaks the eye contact and rubs her arm.

“What is your name?” She looks back up at him. His expression still hasn’t changed.

She breaks eye contact yet again, looking to the right of him. < Innocence. Ignorance. > Trying to appear as though she’s struggling to remember -- eyebrows furrowed, mouth tense -- Tess replies slowly, “Ci… Cies…?” Then, as she looks back at him, she says her name with confidence. “Ciestess.”

His eyes narrow slightly -- but his head tilts just a little. < Good, good… Come on… > “Your accent. You are from… far from here, yes?” She regains her uncertain, “thinking” pose and doesn’t answer. He waits patiently for a bit, then asks, “Where are you from, miss Ciestess?” She transitions to feigning slight anxiety -- eyes wide, eyebrows tilted back up. Looking back at him, she replies, “I… I don’t…”

He doesn’t miss a beat. “How did you get here?”

< Yes! He’s falling for it. Time to seal the deal! > She looks down at the ground, wraps her arms around herself and starts shaking -- which isn’t hard, since she’s still cold. “I don’t know. I- … How did I…? Wh-” Tess looks back up at him, eyes even wider. “Where… am I?”

He considers Tess for a few moments, eyes narrowed even further. Yet, he almost seems to be grinning, slightly. < If he thinks he’s playing me -- EVEN BETTER! > “Do you have anywhere to stay? Anyone you’re travelling with?” She looks back at the ground, shoulders hunching slightly, and, after a couple of beats, shakes her head.

It only takes a couple more moments before it happens: “Why not come inside? You can stay with me. Until we find where you belong.”

His hand enters her line-of-sight -- he’s holding it out for Tess to take. She looks back up at him. With power in his voice, he says, “I insist.”

Outwardly, Tess hesitantly takes his hand -- still shaking and wide-eyed. Inwardly -- she’s struggling not to grin.

< Hook, line, and sinker! >

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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Chapter 27

As soon as Tess finishes her little monologue, Helsing drops the cross and bolts, rather ironically, like a bat out of hell.

And, following Xihrae's instructions, Tess grabs the cross, turns into bats, and flies away too.

[Beginning]

Apparently staying would influence Lucy and company's conversation too much. Or something.

And, with that nail now solidly in the coffin -- I can't stop myself, < ... Are you sure? > < Hm? > < About leaving. >

Tess reforms at the edge of a particular pond in the cemetery, cross in-hand. She's told me she likes this one because the way the moon and stars glisten off the water reminds her of Illunira. < ... You still don't trust him, huh? You were even more nervous than me during all that. > < Can you blame me? After everything he's done, I'm surprised you do. > < True, Xihrae's come close to crossing the line.

< … A lot. But- > < -But he's never crossed it, yeah yeah. > The wind has started to blow again. It breaks the reflections in the water, stirring it just enough to set the light swirling against the leaves on the trees above us. < You're still jealous, aren't you? > < … < … I'm not. I'm just worried he's gonna break your heart someday. > I manage to refrain from adding 'That I'm going to break your heart someday…'

She smiles. < Heh. For a so-called "psuedo-demon," you can be awfully sweet. >

She likes calling me that. "Pseudo-demon." Says it contrasts nicely with "demon-eater." It's not even remotely accurate to what I actually am. "Spirit," "ghost," or even "fairy" would be more accurate. But… I agree. I kinda like how "pseudo-demon" sounds. Or… I guess maybe it just grew on me. After I got used to it no longer being an insult.

< You don't need to worry. My heart's not that fragile. You, of all people, ought to know that, haha! >

She likes doing this, it seems: saying something that's true, but still misleading. My guilt rising again, I remember how hard I'd tried to break her myself in the past. And, in fact, how her heart is actually all-too-easily injured.

… But, indeed, nearly impossible to fully break. And, for a moment, I'm reassured.

< Well. I suppose you're right. And if he ever does cross that line… >

Tess's smile becomes a grin. She looks at the cross in her hand; the thing this entire project had been about. The thing that can break Dracula's curse- -and let him roam the earth freely again. Without needing to return to the castle's cursed ground.

She stares at it, appreciating the way it seems to belong here, in the refracting, dancing light. < If that happens… We'll BOTH show him what true HELL looks like! >

And with those reminders, those reassurances… … I set my fears aside.

.

And choose to focus on my goal.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Let it be known that I'll be the last person to ever get offended by the term "adrenaline-junky."

Because what I had there, right then? That dead body in front of me?

Now that was a rush!!!

I knew "Jacob" would be difficult to kill. HE always is. That's what makes hunting HIM, fighting HIM, fighting alongside HIM-- SO fun. And what made seeing HIS body -- Gary Sue's body -- lying dead at my feet so, so satisfying!

Granted, finding a poison that worked on him, then finding a way to use it on him -- OH, now THERE was a headache. And a BORE! I had so many things spoiled for me because of that guy! Life after life, timeline after timeline, wasted -- and for what? To get rid of ONE DUDE?!

Oh, that is something I just couldn't forgive.

"Sorry about this, ol' buddy," I said, pulling the body along, "Really, I mean it. You know I love playing with you. It's always such a thrill!" I only stopped pulling once I reached the hole I'd dug. "But I just couldn't have you ruining this chance for me. Sure, playing with you is fun and all -- but I know I'll get to do it again! This opportunity, though?"

I positioned the body and moved to stand beside it. "I'll never get this again." I shoved Gary's body -- that world's version of it, anyway -- into the hole.

Where it landed with a remarkably satisfying thud.

"And also, y'know…" Finally, I picked up the shovel to start burying it… "It really has been too long…" Where hopefully… "Since I've been in a war." … Tess wouldn't find it.

.

And realize I'd broken my promise.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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Chapter 25

When I got back to the Crossroad, it was like I'd lost all ability to feel.

It was just… too much.

[Beginning]

It's hard to tell the passage of time in there, but I must have stayed frozen for a few hours, at least.

.

Then I cried.

For not being able to reach paradise. For causing what I had.

… For Angel. And all the other friends I'd never see again.

For everything.

.

I lied there for a while longer after that, just… staring into Prizmal. Into Infinity.

Not asking any questions. I didn't have any. I just… watched.

.

And thought.

.

I didn't consider suicide, though. For one, that just… isn't me. I don't have an explanation for that, exactly. For whatever reason, that's just… not how I'm wired. But also, Mentor had told me that the only way to die inside the Crossroad is by old age. So there was no point in trying, even if I was so inclined.

Instead, I taught myself. About Infinity. I watched, felt, and absorbed as much as I could stand.

And discovered: Infinite variations of infinite worlds means there is infinite suffering.

And infinite joy.

.

I'm not going to pretend like what happened on Scarring was… the worst I'd ever seen. Not by a long shot.

Honestly, it's not even the worst I've ever caused.

But in those cases, those horrible things happened in worlds that had seen tragedies before. Scarring was a paradise.

I had turned a paradise into a living hell.

And yet… What was I supposed to DO about that? I couldn't go back! I'd never be able to fix that mistake! Oh, sure, I could "make sure I never did it again," but that's not the same!

It wasn't just the mistake I had made in letting myself cause a Demonic Energy Flame, it was… I could never reach paradise.

How was I supposed to live with that?

…

Mentor had told me already: "Just do what makes you happy. There's no point in anything else."

"Get used to having a broken heart, Future Heir. It's the only kind you'll ever have. You'll think you've gotten over it, and then it will start bleeding again the moment you see, for example, a brainwashed 'peacekeeper' forced to murder an innocent child."

I didn't like that. But that was because I hadn't understood. Mentor hadn't meant to do only the things I enjoyed. They hadn't meant to avoid getting a broken heart.

To be the Keeper of the Crossroad of Infinity is to be an explorer. And to explore means to constantly find new things that make me happy. And that make me unhappy.

To be the Keeper of the Crossroad of Infinity means to explore the infinite joy and suffering out there!

What Mentor meant… was to focus on the joy.

"It's been so long since I've seen my own homeworld… I think some of these 'alien aspects' feel more familiar to me now than the ones I was born into. "I wonder if that will happen to you someday? ...Probably."

Finding "alien aspects" that I like so much that I keep returning to worlds that have them?

So… What was something I liked? … Helping people.

Was it the guilt? … Probably. Partially. At first, anyway. But it's something that still holds true.

.

If I can't ever go to a "paradise" world, then I can at least enjoy making the worlds I go to a little better. Not because it will "tip the balance" or anything -- if you add to or take from infinity, you're still left with infinity.

But because I enjoy it.

But also because: Wallowing in misery over something I can't change? I just can't see the point in that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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