#providing much function of my own or that good of a story

[logicpng]

I think I can with certainty say I'm past the halfway point with this. there's not that much random dialogue left to make up

I can only hope the switch works as intended on other computers, since a different timing left them mid-transition. it seems like it doesn't interrupt the bubbles switch but it's only if the menu switch/shell reset comes at a specific point before it 🤔

sakurascript is really weird with calling functions, but I Think if you call it as a variable ( %(function) ) it doesn't interrupt the script?? maybe??

[Image ID:

Two gifs showing off Vega complaining about the messiness of Windows' system32 folder, providing the user with a link to open it and see for themselves, and the right click context menu changing its color scheme alongside Vega switching to Rigel.

End ID]

[canonkiller]

Hi, I'm Canon. I'm a disabled artist with some kind of gender and homosexual tendencies. You might have seen my usernames around in posts about loving OCs, or complaining about video game inaccessibility, or attached to one of the worm-centric comics I made, like these ones:

I hate having to ask for help when there's already so much going on, but I am also At My Limit.

To make a long story short, I am very disabled in multiple ways and I am living in a very inaccessible (and often directly disability-hostile) home. While I live with family, they do not provide assistance (financial or otherwise) and our rural location and the glacial pace of Canada's social services have left me A Bit Fucked. (Whatever you think Canada's health care provides, either it doesn't, or it takes half a year to even book an appointment.)

I've asked for help in the past with smaller goals, but costs continue to add up - and this time, finally, I may be able to actually make permanent accessibility changes to the household... if I can fund it myself. On the amount I get from the disability support program in my province, I can't do that; I would have to stop eating for months to afford even one of the major renovations in that time, and, obviously, I can't do that.

What kind of accessibility updates would this be going towards?:

A wheelchair ramp at at least one exit of the house; there are four potential exits, and all of them are currently multiple sets of stairs without railings.

A stair lift (for upstairs access) or a walk in tub (for downstairs access), depending on what my family will agree to

Dressers / storage that I am physically capable of opening

HRT (guess what isn't covered by Canada's health care, apparently!)

A whole mess of medical appointments (vision, prescriptions, dental, infinite various symptom testings) and transportation to and from those appointments (guess what else isn't covered!!)

A functional freezer

Physiotherapy 👍

Food 👍👍👍

And how can you donate?:

Donate directly to my Ko-fi page

Pledge monthly to my Ko-fi membership tiers

Order a commission from me (you'll be added to a queue; I can't provide completion time estimates right now)

Buy my premade digital goods (TTRPG resources, bases, tattoo tickets, etc) through Ko-fi or itch.io

Buy my art on physical goods through Redbubble or INPRNT

Buy designs / adoptables I've made through Toyhouse

Buy things off of my Amazon accessibility wishlist

I'm trying to buy used and second-hand / go through free stuff groups where I can to save costs, so I don't have a fixed goal and genuinely every bit helps. I really want to be able to get back to functioning somewhat normally, and due to Circumstances - as embarrassing as it is - I can't do that on my own, and I can't keep struggling with it the way I have been.

Thank you for your time, and any help you're able to provide. Reblogs are welcome and appreciated.

[mim16s]

Survival in Game

Cho Hyun-ju x Autistic!Fem!Reader

•I'm not autistic, but I have a brother and a cousin who are, so I used my experience living with them to write this character. English is not my first language, but I tried my best to write this without spelling errors. This is my first story on this app, so I hope it is good.

This wasn’t what you wanted for your life. Honestly, you didn’t even understand how you had gotten to this point. All you wanted was to take care of your mother, to repay all the effort she had put into you. And you knew how hard it had been for her.

She got pregnant young and raised you on her own, with no support system. Your father? Well, you never knew him. He disappeared as soon as he found out about the pregnancy. Your grandparents, embarrassed that she had gotten pregnant so young and without even getting married, abandoned her too. That’s how your mother faced the world alone, with you in her arms.

And things got even harder. You knew that being autistic made everything more challenging for her. As a child, you didn’t speak, and your first words came only after many therapy sessions, which were expensive. But she never gave up. You remembered seeing her come home, exhausted after a long day of work, but always with a smile.

— Mom is fine. You’re everything I need to have strength, — she would say, trying to hide her exhaustion.

But you knew the truth. You knew how much she fought, how she struggled to meet all your needs, to make sure you never lacked anything. Everything fell apart when she got sick. You were 19. The illness took all her strength, and she could no longer work. That’s when the weight of the world fell on you. You had to find a job, but no matter how hard you tried, no one wanted to give you a chance. When they saw you weren’t neurotypical, they wouldn’t give you a chance.

Life became a daily struggle. You survived doing small jobs here and there, while some kind neighbors helped with food baskets. But the money was never enough, and the debts started piling up. Your mother’s treatments were expensive, and with each unpaid bill, the despair grew.Then he appeared. The man in the suit.He appeared out of nowhere, as if fate had sent him. With a piercing look, holding a briefcase in his hand. He stopped in front of you while you were resting in one of the subway chairs, with a smile that made you just as uncomfortable as it did curious.

— Looks like you need an opportunity, don’t you?—You hesitated, unsure of what to respond. He seemed to know exactly who you were and what you were going through.

— I want to propose something to you.

And that’s when you got a card with geometric symbols and a phone number. You stared at it, your heart racing without fully understanding it.

---

And now, here you were: in a strange hall, surrounded by people you didn’t know, in a place you had never seen before, wearing clothes you didn’t even remember putting on, and the fabric itched. You weren’t the only one confused. Perplexed looks crossed the room, and nervous whispers filled the air.

Then they appeared: masked soldiers, wearing uniforms that seemed more threatening than functional. You couldn’t help but shrink back, a heavy feeling that something was terribly wrong.They began to speak, explaining what was happening.

— Excuse me! — A voice echoed. Your eyes followed the sound until they landed on a beautiful woman, who seemed just as indignant as she was confident. — They said it would just be some games, but you kidnapped us. And you still want me to believe this?

— We apologize, — one of the masked soldiers replied, the voice distorted by some sort of modifier. — It was a necessary measure to ensure the confidentiality of the games we are organizing.

Questions started popping up from all sides, but the answers provided no comfort, only more tension. You wanted to understand better, but it was hard to follow. The questions, the sounds around you, the smell of sweat and fear in the hall, everything was pulling you in different directions. You began to rock back and forth slightly, trying to focus. It was something that always helped. But the discomfort persisted.

---

You were led to a large open field, surrounded by high fences and cameras that seemed to record every movement. It was announced that the first game would begin soon. When a desperate man screamed that, if anyone was eliminated, they would die, a chill ran down your spine. It couldn’t be true... right? But when the game began, the illusion of safety shattered. The sharp sound of a gunshot cut through the air. Your eyes widened, shock paralyzing you. That sound — loud, deafening to your sensitive hearing — seemed to hammer in your head. You instinctively wanted to cover your ears to block out that deafening noise, but you felt someone hold your hands firmly, preventing any sudden movements.

— Don’t move, it’s dangerous. — The voice came from behind. It was the beautiful woman from before. There was something in the firmness of her tone that managed to cut through your panic, bringing some calm.

— My ears hurt, — you murmured, your voice trembling.

— I know. But you have to hold on. Just a little longer.

Chaos spread around you. People were screaming, some running in desperation, while others were falling to the sound of new gunshots. You felt terror take hold, a heavy knot in your throat. Your legs felt like stone.

— If you don't cross the line in time, they'll still kill you! Look at the doll's eyes! They're cameras that scan for motion! But it's not able to detect you if you're behind something! — screamed one of the players, his voice desperate. — So if you short, line up behind someone who's taller than you!

Your body wouldn’t respond. You were frozen, the noise and the fear trapping you in place.The beautiful woman stopped in front of you, blocking your view of the rest of the field.

— Keep going. — Her voice was urgent, yet gentle. — You need to keep going. Don’t worry, I’ll stay in front of you. Just follow me, okay?

You couldn’t verbalize, but when the music started again, you followed her. Each step behind her felt like an eternity, but she kept her promise, protecting you as you moved forward.

After the game ended, everyone was taken back to the room. The atmosphere was heavy, filled with fear and despair. Lost looks, uncertain steps — everyone seemed terrified, and you were no different.Sitting on one of the beds, you rocked back and forth, an automatic motion, a desperate attempt to find comfort. But it didn’t help. Your breathing was uneven, the sounds around you seemed amplified, and all you wanted was to leave. Your mind raced in circles, always returning to the same question: Why me? You just wanted to help your mother. Everything you did was for her, and now you were trapped here, too scared to do anything.Then the voice of the masked soldiers echoed through the room, imposing order, the man from before who said he had already participated in this game proposed the vote.At first, the idea of voting seemed like an escape. A chance to get out of that terrible situation.

But then they revealed the amount of money accumulated by the people who had died. The sum gleamed in a giant safe suspended in the room. The shine of the money seemed to hypnotize some. Murmurs started to arise. Many were considering staying. You felt a tightness in your chest.

When the vote began, the sound of buttons being pressed was like a constant drum in your ears. You watched the people go to the ballot box, one by one, pressing their votes. Some hesitated, others went with determination.When it was your turn, your hands trembled as you walked up to the ballot box. The panel blinked in front of you: a circle to stay and an “X” to leave. You could barely see properly, your vision blurred by the tears at the corners of your eyes.Your finger pressed the “X.” You wanted to leave, go home. You needed your mother as much as she needed you. But when the final vote was recorded and the numbers were revealed, your heart sank.The majority had chosen to stay.Panic took over you again. Your fingers began to tremble uncontrollably, and you went back to your bed, feeling your whole body tighten. Your mind was in chaos. The rocking movement returned, but this time even more intense, as if your body was trying to compensate for the avalanche of emotions.You felt helpless. You wanted to scream, to cry, but all you could do was try to hold onto the little control you still had.

The terror was greater than anything you had ever felt before. And, even worse, it was just the beginning

Part 2

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

I've been reading your Erikar posts and I think that they work really well with the idea that moirallegiance really doesn't work the way it's "supposed" to. It's framed in-universe as a very one-sided "stable person pacifies dangerous person" deal, but both Erifef and Gamkar, which are basically platonic ideals of that concept, failed independently because of how unstable that dynamic is -- one person is worn out doing all the emotional labor and the other is not interested in being pacified. Whereas the meowrails, despite also being framed as a "classical" moirallegiance, are much more clearly two-sided, as both parties consistently help, listen to, and advise each other, and the relationship is consequently much stabler and more enduring. I love the way you frame Erikar because it works really well with this by showing both parties taking and giving "pacification" and support in turn, instead of one shouldering all the work.

Yeah! I think this is a good way to talk about something Hussie likes to do that I'm a huge fan of, which is: unreliable narration. This unreliable narration has garnered Hussie the reputation of being a "troll" or even flat-out "wrong" about HS, and I find both of these to be very unfair because the use of unreliable narrator is both deliberate AND thematically fitting.

As part of Homestuck's post-modern stylings (and I mean post-modern in the literature sense, not vis. art, though it has shades of that too), it plays heavily on the ideas of narrator-as-character, author-as-character, metafiction, and we-all-know-it's-a-story-itis. Hussie himself, even in his external commentaries (Formspring, Tumblr, Books, etc.), is fully aware that his additions add to the metatextual texture of the work and change how it's interpreted - that, although his additions technically lie external to the "story" Homestuck is telling, they are also paradoxically part and parcel of that very story.

As a result, they deliberately play a character WRT Homestuck, both in- and out-of-universe, and this character is, by their own admission, buffoonish and oafish. It's really apparent in their book commentary, where they'll sometimes even drop the act, or "realize" they've dropped the act and hurry to put it back on (a standout moment is when he provides a very genuine, honest analysis of Vriska, before going "oh, wait, I forgot, she's literally my wife and has never done anything wrong ever in her life ever"). They also mention how their narrative voice sometimes works antagonistically to the characters, such as when it assures Vriska that she has no choice but to kill Aradia, subtly pushing Vriska towards that option.

Functionally, neither the narrator nor the author (and by that, I mean the caricaturized character of "the author" that Hussie plays) of Homestuck are entities that you can take fully at face value; they need to be challenged and interrogated as much as any other character, have their motives dissected, have their blind spots pointed out.

And why would this need to be the case? Because that's literally one of the main thrusts of Homestuck: malicious entities (in HS's case, LE, Doc Scratch, and Caliborn, who at various times struggle with Hussie for control of the story, before killing him and wresting it away entirely) will attempt to write the narrative. They'll push their version of events, their politics, their biases, their philosophies. They'll try to change the story to suit them and perpetuate their own power and ability to enforce that power. And you can't let them win.

Hussie-as-a-character/narrator himself is not particularly malicious, and, as the narrative prompt serving as Caliborn's guide, is even ultimately sympathetic, expressing that kids need to grow up and mature, achieve self-actualization, emotional catharsis, etc.

However, as a result of his oafishness, he has a tendency to play to the characters' worst instincts, to pick favorites among the cast. The most blatant example of this is his "love" of Vriska, which - contrary to popular opinion - isn't "real". Hussie is not actually in love with Vriska; the whole thing started because - due to misogyny - people accused Hussie of only giving Vriska so much plot relevance because he was literally in love with her. Why else would a female character with an unpleasant personality be allowed to be important, amirite? And Hussie clearly thought that this whole thing was so ridiculous that he 100% leaned into it as a joke. I'm not here to litigate whether or not it was appropriate to do so, just to point out that Hussie's "love" of Vriska was always an artifice - an aspect of Hussie-as-character that he played up to highlight the fact that Hussie-as-character is an unreliable buffoon, and, by extension, that Vriska is not blameless and perfect.

Since this is the Eridan blog, I'd be remiss not to talk about him. Hussie's commentary towards Eridan is especially fascinating to me, because Eridan is one of he characters Hussie-as-character is biased against, in a similar way as he's biased in Vriska's favor. Thus, his attitude towards Eridan is very dismissive, both in the book commentary AND in the comic itself. "Gamzee: Indulge emotional theatrics" and "Jade: Answer this douche bag" come to mind. He also spends the vast majority of the Act 5 Act 2 book mocking Eridan for being sad and alone, with nobody to care about him and nobody who listens to his problems.

Now, the reason I call this fascinating is twofold: the first is that his commentary in the Act 5 Act 1 book has a WILDLY different tone: while he's still biased in Eridan's disfavor, he outright calls Eridan a "good character" alongside Nepeta, and offers genuine insight into his characterization and the powers of Hope - comparing him at one point to Dave if Dave took a much darker path.

So when his attitude changes from "he's a shithead, but fairly complex, I guess" to "he's a loser idiot that nobody likes LMAOOOO", you're supposed to notice that! You're supposed to question that, to wonder why he has a change of heart, why he's suddenly so dismissive of a character he was genuinely writing whole paragraphs about before.

And the answer is multifaceted:

He's playing up his buffoonish character, to let you know that he's about to be wrong as hell. Every time Hussie starts really amping up the Hussie-as-character persona, you're about to be in for an opinion that SHOULD NOT be taken at face value.

He's reflecting a common fandom opinion, because one of his favorite things to do as an unreliable narrator is to speak on behalf of another character or entity, highlighting the biases and blind spots in play - in this case, the audience's. Again, he's about to be wrong as hell, so he's doing this specifically to indicate that the audience members who believe this are also wrong as hell.

Act 5 Act 2 is when we get the one conversation in all of Homestuck where somebody (Karkat) cares about Eridan and takes his problems seriously. During this part of the story, Hussie goes COMPLETELY silent. This is incredibly out of character, as he usually can't shut up, and the commentary is usually dense, packed with words, without pause. Compare:

In those blocks of silence are contained the conversation Eridan has with Karkat where Karkat literally tells him "I know it's hard being you" and that Nepeta's rejection of him wasn't a negative reflection of him. In other words, Karkat cares about Eridan and takes him seriously, COMPLETELY contradicting Hussie-as-character's assertions that nobody does, so utterly that Hussie-as-character has to completely shut up during that entire sequence because he has no way of reconciling his stance with the evidence presented.

Now, Hussie-as-an-actual-person is completely aware of what they're doing, or else they couldn't do stuff like this so consistently and so precisely. So I want to be very, very clear that this is not Hussie "not understanding his own story" or whatever BS the fandom likes to say in order to cast Hussie as the villain. This is masterful usage of unreliable narrator, like, I'm genuinely impressed.

By acting a clown and insisting that nobody likes or cares about Eridan, the audience is MEANT to glean from the text:

That Karkat is clearly an exception, and he quite likes and cares about Eridan,

That those who are dismissive towards Eridan and treat him purely as an object of ridicule are Wrong as Hell,

That maybe it's not a good thing for us - both audience, author, and characters - to be so quick to judge and dismiss others just because they're annoying and nasty - that doing so can have dire consequences, as we see with how Eridan's story plays out.

And I'm not kidding when I say that we have to be constantly fucking vigilant, that there's very, very little that can be purely taken at face value. Not long after this is one of Karkat's memos, where he attempts to warn his past friends about all the murders, only to dismiss past!Gamzee by saying that current!Gamzee going crazy murderclown "barely even concerns [him]." Hussie then notes in the commentary - and not for the first time - that Karkat has a Problem(TM) with not seeing past/future versions of people as contiguous with their current selves, which he does as a defense mechanism so as not to confront his own feelings of shame and self-loathing. Hussie then proceeds not to comment on the following:

CCG: YOU ARE DEAD TO ME CCG: PAST YOU, PRESENT YOU, FUTURE YOU CCG: AND ABOVE ALL, UGLY SCARFNECKED DOUCHEBAG HIPSTER YOU CCG: WAIT I FORGOT, ALL OF THE YOUS ARE THAT YOU

Hmmm... interesting. I wonder why Hussie points out one of Karkat's running character traits, just to "forget" to notice when an exception happens directly after? I'll let this one be an exercise for the class.

So to tie it all back to your ask: why is the exposition on troll romance done the way it is? What are the narrator's motives? Hussie even outright states in the commentary that Kanaya/Tavros/Vriska, which is used as an example of an auspicetism, isn't even a real auspicetism, as Kanaya feels no need to commit to it, and at most is putting out mixed signals - it's just used as an example because it's the closest thing we've seen.

Well, the answer I've arrived at, personally, is that the troll romance explanation is as flawed as it is because the narrator is taking on Karkat's point of view. A movie poster on Karkat's wall, the troll version of Serendipity, is used and namedropped as the ultimate expression of meeting your soul mate in every quadrant - as well as the assertion that "every" troll believes that there ARE destined soul mates for every quadrant, which Karkat definitely believes, but isn't a sentiment necessarily shared by everybody else. Moreover, the explanation ends with a tirade about how Karkat tried to explain quadrants to John, who didn't get it because "he's an idiot".

I'm not saying that Karkat is literally narrating here, just to be clear - I'm saying that the narrator (Hussie-as-character) is relaying factual information as processed through the lens of Karkat's biases, and, as a result, we can't take the explanation at 100% face value (though we can't discount it as entirely untrue, either). It's not so much that "real" moirail pairs work because they're doing moirallegiance "wrong," but that Karkat's view of moirallegiance is simplistic, idealized, and flawed, and we see this play out when he's bitter about his breakup with Gamzee because Gamzee stops "needing" him to keep him calm, even after Karkat has failed to be kept calm by Gamzee in return.

The more I look into Homestuck, the more that I'm genuinely impressed by the way it handles its writing. I hope this was interesting to everyone, too. I feel a little like I'm peeling back a curtain, or opening up a clock to reveal all the little cogs and wheels.

No, you can't trust Hussie as the narrator, but that's on purpose, and it's on purpose because why do we trust narrators? Why do we assume people telling a story are unbiased, benevolent, and have no ulterior motives? Why do we let idiots, assholes, predators, and monsters get away with their version of the truth, when a little scrutiny will have the whole ruse fall apart? Why do we let people tell us not to care about other people, why do we let them tell us that it's okay to be cruel to acceptible targets, why do we let them go unexamined?

And how about the stories we tell ourselves?

[pikahlua]

Uh oh, it's sleepy grumpy Pika. Y'all know what that means, right?

It means I have no filter for my opinions.

If you're dissatisfied with the way Katsuki's bullying of Izuku is handled in MHA because you expected him to be confronted by someone else about it in some way, it's probably because you are unaware of the difference between bullying and attitudes towards it in Japan versus in your country of origin. I believe everyone would benefit from researching bullying in Japan. They do NOT view it the same way the west does, y'all.

And I guarantee when you learn about it, you're gonna find some stuff that makes you uncomfortable and horrified, because it's gonna take a while for you to get enough information to give context to a lot of the history and attitudes you'll find. AND EVEN THEN, EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE THAT CONTEXT, you're still definitely not going to like it.

However, with any luck, you'll see how MHA's portrayal of Katsuki's bullying is shockingly sympathetic and heartwarming to many people. It's because, from the perspective of a Japanese audience, Izuku was not targeted and bullied by Katsuki in the way we're used to seeing such situations portrayed in the west. Izuku was bullied by everyone. His classmates, his teachers, the pro heroes he encountered, and society in general ALL participated in the bullying of Izuku, because societal pressures to conform in Japan are MASSIVE, and that can often manifest as one form of bullying or another.

Katsuki's bullying is just the one that the story chooses to flesh out. It's the one that Horikoshi develops. Katsuki is the bully that changes his own perspective first and drastically, the one who realizes the greatness in Izuku and accepts that and comes to his side long before the rest of society can catch up. It is largely understood by the Japanese audience that Katsuki in middle school didn't seek Izuku out and follow him home every day to beat him up; Katsuki mostly ignored Izuku until Izuku would do something to remind Katsuki of his insecurities, and so he would lash out. And no one else at let's say Izuku's middle school would understand the true reason why Katsuki would lash out because what he does resembles what all of Izuku's bullies do to him: pressure him to conform. Pre-One For All Izuku stands out as different and constantly tries to rise above his position to become something society decrees he cannot be. Therefore, a significant part of Japanese society will generally approve of attempts to make him conform, even when some of those attempts are harsh and cruel and unreasonable and reactionary. MHA presents a caricature of that in the form of Izuku's middle school.

The fact that Katsuki identifies this toxic behavior in himself later in the story and decides to actively do something to change it IS the radical part. It's the piece that fits into the themes of MHA. It highlights a generally-accepted behavior in society that maybe society should rethink. It's asking for society to reconsider how it pressures people to conform, that sometimes nonconformity is good or at least should be tolerated to some degree. That's why Katsuki's story focuses so much on how his old behavior stems from fear. From the perspective of a "properly-functioning" collectivist society, pressure to conform should be done for the good of everyone in the society, not out of fear and misunderstanding. Katsuki's character arc provides one potential map for others in society to see the light and get to where he does.

And that's to say nothing of how Japan's versions of confrontation or retribution often look different from how they do in the west, that many of the forms of confrontation some people in the western fandom cry out for with regards to Katsuki sound absurd to an audience in the know. The karmic punishments Katsuki endures throughout the story are often overlooked by western readers, and is it any surprise? That readers from some societies--societies that laud nonconformity, tolerate counterculture, openly criticize the systems that be, preach about individual freedom and responsibility and justice and fairness, and watch and make movies and TV shows and other media about how victims of bullies achieve their righteous revenge--often miss how MHA doles out subtle, divine, poetic, karmic consequences for Katsuki's actions? That such readers often don't feel satisfied by MHA's dramatic ironies which serve more to guide Katsuki in a harmonious, productive direction rather than vindictively punish him and rest on its laurels as it laughs at his deserved misfortune? I don't blame anyone for feeling unsatisfied when their own societies have built up their expectations in such ways, but I do hope to draw your attention to it.

Now, does that mean you have to like and accept the Japanese attitudes about bullying? That you have to agree with the framing of pressure to conform as beneficial and productive? That, if you're triggered by the lack of overt condemnation of bullying in the story, you still have to like MHA? That, if you have personal traumatic experiences with Japan's bullying situation, you should shut up about it and accept that it's a good thing? No! In fact, I personally would hope that you don't! I think everyone should always have their perspectives on ANYTHING challenged so they can rethink and improve them, and Japan's attitude towards bullying is no exception! (And MHA actually does that in its own way!)

(And even saying that, I will always acknowledge that my perspective and opinions on this issue are heavily colored by my own experiences in life and the society in which I grew up and the ideas to which I've been exposed. This is and always will be my bias.)

But the question of what's the correct take on bullying is an entirely different beast. The question at hand here is about understanding the story and its characters as presented in MHA. If you don't come at this with a basic acknowledgement of how Katsuki's story reads to a Japanese audience in-context, you're going to be upset about what you see (which is a reasonable reaction). But I think if you're going to read a story, it's only due courtesy to understand the context surrounding its creation before you try to hold it to far-removed, foreign standards. There's a reason literature classes go over the history and context surrounding the older works they study. MHA is a Japanese story written for a Japanese audience. To focus on how it does not adhere to the typical western narrative of a bully's character arc is to miss the point entirely. If you are reading the story outside of Japan in a language other than Japanese, it is being translated so that you can read a Japanese story, not a story from your own culture. It's rude and self-defeating to expect stories from other cultures to suddenly cater to your own.

TL;DR Understanding the social context that informs bullying in MHA just might actually make the story more comprehensible and enjoyable for anyone who dares to learn about it, what do you have to lose?

[canmom]

a polemic

every so often you see a conversation on this website that goes like this:

based story game enjoyer: D&D is a limiting game because of xyz design assumptions. cringe D&D fan: actually I changed these assumptions by editing the game to fit my group's needs. it works pretty good. story game chad, closing in for the kill: have you considered playing the perfectly designed game for your scenario that surely exists out there in the indie game milieu? you wouldn't have to homebrew. you'd be having better fun. foolish and wrong D&D incel: but I am already having fun with "modified D&D" and I don't particularly see a need to do that thing you said. wise story game sage, a single tear rolling down their perfectly sculpted face: do you not see that defending D&D, the product printed by Hasbro Inc., by pointing out that you can modify it, is self-defeating? tragic. there is no hope for these people. 42069 notes

along such lines, i saw someone today refer to homebrew in TTRPGs pejoratively as 'unpaid game design' and like. my fucking god guys. i don't love D&D-as-printed either but you've lost the plot.

not only is it good to modify the games you play and make them your own, it is inevitable. nobody ever plays TTRPGs exactly 'by the book', it's always filtered through the dynamic of the group. yes, even in those games that literally tell you exactly what to say like the quiet year or whatever.

you will ignore rules and guidelines. you will put your own interpretation on the wording of this or that rule. you will develop your own rhythms and at some point, yes, you can, will, and should change the rules to better fit whatever you're doing with the game.

the designer may throw up their hands and say "you are no longer playing Sorcerer By Ron Edwards, you are playing some other game! you're messing up my perfectly tuned mechanism!"

let them. it's an understandable frustration, perhaps, but once the game is in the hands of the players, the designer has had their say.

play the game you want to play, even - especially - if you have to invent it. use whatever tools you find useful to help you get there - whether that's a printed RPG book, a blog post, a memory of another game, a story that inspires you. maybe you want to take some existing and familiar system, such as PbtA, and adapt it - awesome (I reckon 95% of indie game designers pretty much do this). maybe you want to start from scratch and make a bespoke system for that one story - also awesome.

'this book requires a lot of work to adapt into something decent' is a fair criticism. 'nobody even plays this game by the book, so it's a bad game' is dogmatism. what game do they play? how do they learn to play it? what function is the book providing in that game? if you want to criticise a game, you need to talk about actual practice. there can be plenty to criticise there, for sure. but that's where you gotta start.

and sure, if someone wants to design a game, particularly to print, I would definitely recommend they look beyond D&D for inspiration. there are some really fucking cool and creative indie games that come up with wild ways to approach 'making up a story through a game' that I'd never have imagined. very often it's fun to follow a designer's frame and discover something new.

but don't make a fucking religion of it lmao.

[we-were-beautiful]

Unraveled Ends Chapter 3

a/n: Hey look, it's a new chapter. So a little heads up this one is not beta read. I went through it several times, but I am admittedly not the best at beta reading my own work. So No Beta we die like men in this chapter. Still though all the love to my beta for this story she truly is amazing. All my photos for the moodboard/aesthetic come from pinterest. I apologize for any mistakes there was minimal editing done to it. Hope y’all enjoy  Shout out to @whisplion for inspiring this fic.

Summary: A tailor in the heart of Velaris finds herself mated to the two most powerful fae in Prythian. Unfortunately for her the mating bond only snapped for her, leaving her to question on how to move forward. Should she wait for her mates to feel the bond or should she go ahead and reject it and live with the gaping hole in her heart  

Poly!Feysand x Reader 

Warnings: Drinking. And a Drunken Feyre

WC:2.4k

“You want to break your mating bond?” His voice sounded almost sad. I can’t fathom a reason as to why though. The bond didn’t snap for them, so in theory, it shouldn’t have any bearing on  Rhysand and Feyre.

“It’s not so much as a want, Rhysand.” I pause trying to string together the correct words to explain my thoughts. “It’s more that I don’t think I can handle the heartbreak.”

“Why not just tell them.” His eyes search me over looking for some rationale behind my thinking.

“They already have their perfect happy ending, Rhysand. They’ve sealed their bond and started their own little family. Where would I fit in all of that?” I give him a sad smile. Some deep part of me wants to scream ‘Where would I fit in to you and Feyre’s perfect little family’ 

“I’ve already made my peace with it, Rhysand. I think it will probably be better for me to just break the bond myself rather than go mad from the rejection.” I try to give him a smile. 

At least with breaking the bond I would be able to function and provide for my sisters. No, I would just lose all sense of emotion from what I’ve read. But if they were to reject me I would go mad; lose all sense of self. Having to live my life with never quite feeling whole, always missing them. I would take wandering around emotionless than pining endlessly over people who didn’t want me.

“Please tell me that you will think about this, and not rush into anything.” The High Lord pleaded with me, eyes filled with emotions that I couldn’t quite discern.

“I promise. That's why I wanted to talk to my friends in Day. I know a few who have done research on the topic, and Helion said he could discuss the process with me.” If anyone would be able to break the bond it would be the spell cleaver himself.

“Ok, just please don’t rush into anything.” His face settled into a neutral expression with a sadness lingering in his eyes. 

I make quick work of getting his final adjustments before letting him get changed. A heavy weight settles in my chest after he leaves. I want to break down; let all my emotions out. To scream to The Mother at how unfair she was being. Beg to know what I had done to deserve this. To be mated to a pair that was already so happy without me. To beg, plead, and bargain for The Mother to dissolve the bond herself and spare me the consequences. I was a hard working female. I worked long hours to provide for my sisters; I do community service when I have the free time. I volunteer at Adelaide’s school. I’m a good person, and what do I get? A lifetime of suffering. Gods above I really only have two options. Face the rejection that is almost certainly coming or live out the rest of this immortal life stripped of emotions. It's not fair.  Right now all I want to do is cry myself to sleep, and deal with all these problems later. 

‘Go home,’ the shadows whisper, nudging me towards the door ‘you worked too long on too little.’ 

Ever my constant companions. At least I knew that with the shadows I would never truly be alone.  I pen a quick note to Genevieve to pick up Addy and some food. I just wanted to go home and curl up in my bed. I pray that Rhys and Feyre will give me some reprieve tonight.

Days pass by quickly and before I know it a month has passed. I had managed to avoid Rhysand and Feyre as well as their friends for the most part. I changed my schedules based on their appointments. If Feyre was scheduled to have a fitting, I would make myself scarce.  If Cassian and Nesta came in to pick up their outfits, I was just on my way out. I couldn’t avoid Amren though she showed up unexpectedly to grab her outfit while I was working. Luckily for me the tiny fae women could care less about me avoiding their group. I provided good work, and that is what she wanted and cared about. 

My trip to the day court was planned for later this week. I was picking up a shipment of the stunning white linen that the Day court had been known for. While the pure white itself was stunning; the fabric also took in dyes beautifully, and I was hoping to create some wonderful summer sets out of it. I had also been corresponding with Helion about when I could get an audience with him to discuss my issue. I think that this particular conversation might be the deal breaker for me. 

Minnie, one of my seamstresses, had begged me to go out to Rita's with her tonight. I only relented after a few days of her nagging me. We had gotten ready at the shop before walking over to the beloved bar. Three drinks later, I have let loose for the evening; the alcohol easing the tension in my body and lowered my inhibitions. Minnie and I ended up on the dance floor before we knew it. I let the music flow through me. In another life I might have been a dancer or a musician. I loved the freedom that dancing gave me, but I refrained from coming out to the clubs. I had sisters to take care of, and partying wasn’t being responsible.  

“Sweetheart!” A familiar voice comes from behind me. I whip around to see Feyre standing there with a goofy smile. 

“Dance with me.” Her voice is slightly slurred as she drapes her arms around my shoulders. She's tipsy at best, shitfaced at worst.  

Sober me would have said no would. Sober me would have taken her back to Rhysand, and let him take care of her. But right now with most of my guard down, I can’t deny her. The selfish part of me wanted to soak up this moment, and just pretend that she was mine even if it was for a bit. So I dance with her. I move my body along with hers to the beat of the music. I pretended just for now, for this song, that they were mine. That somewhere Rhys was watching us with that seductive smirk of his basking in the glory of his two mates. Feyre and I pull out all the stops to drive Rhys insane.So that he would set down his whiskey and join us on the dance floor. Would whisper promises in our ears before winnowing us home to continue the party away from the prying eyes of the customers of Rita’s.

But all too soon the song dies, replaced with a mellow slow song. And reality slowly starts to settle back in.

“You’re pretty.” Feyre slurs, wrapping herself around me. Her words sober me up. Her silver eyes filled with so much admiration that it nearly physically hurts. 

“And you are drunk.” I tried to laugh but a knife was twisting in my heart. “Let’s get  you back to your mate.”

I force my mental shields into place not wanting any of my secrets spilling out. My eyes scan the room looking for the high lord. Eventually I was able to spot Illyrian wings. That typically signaled the General and the Shadowsinger. It is a slow process to move the drunken High lady across the clubs to the booths. Feyre did not make the process easy. She clung to me and dragged her feet not wanting to leave the dance floor. Eventually, we are able to make it to the booths. There we find Rhysand and Azriel. Seeing the large wings on the highlord was shocking. I had heard whispers that Rhysand could summon wings, but I had never seen them myself. I had never thought he could be more beautiful, but I stand corrected. 

“Feyre Darling, and Sweetheart what a surprise.” His eyes brighten up at the sight of the two of us.

“Rhys look who I found.” Feyre giggles stroking my face, a smile growing on her face. She stumbles just a bit, and I have to scramble to catch her. 

“I see Darling. You found our dear sweetheart.” He laughs at the two of us.

“I danced with her, Rhys. I wanna keep dancing.” I slowly moved her closer to the booth. In an attempt to get her to sit down. Thank The Mother I am able to get her to sit on the bench with a little bit of prompting. I try to move away but she is quick to grab my hand holding it with a surprising strength keeping me close to the table.

“I think the High Lady might have had a touch too much.” I tell the amused looking High Lord.

“Rhys!!!!” She slurs drawing out his name in a whine “Make her dance with me.”

“I think it might be time to take her home.” I look between the two amused males at the table. 

“You don’t want to keep dancing Sweetheart?” Rhys raises his glass of whiskey to his lips staring at me in interest.

“As much as I would love to keep dancing with the High Lady. I do have work in the morning, and I still have to get ready to go to Day later this week.” I shrug, at this point home seemed like it would be the best option for me “I’m probably about to head out. 

“Noooooooooooo.” Feyre whines wrapping her arms around my waist as if to keep me here with them “Stay.”

“I think that is my cue to take her home.” Rhys quickly drains the whiskey in his glass. 

“Darling. Let's walk Sweetheart out.” He gently coaxes her to let go of my waist. 

“Fine.” I chanced a quick look at the Shadowsinger to see his shoulders shaking in barely contained laughter. He obviously finds this whole situation hilarious. I ought to put three extra stitches in his wing slots. He would still be able to wear it but it would make it ever so slightly uncomfortable for him.

Eventually we manage to coax feyre to the door. I had paid my tab before I went to the dance floor, and Minnie was nowhere to be seen. She probably took some female home with her. We had parted ways on the dance floor shortly after we had moved from the bar. 

The moment Rhys had let go of Feyre she decided to latch herself back on me. 

“Come with us. We miss you.” She buries her face into my neck “We never get to see you anymore.” 

“Darling we have to let Sweetheart go.” Rhys attempts to gently remove Feyre, who has all but koalaed herself to me.

“But we won’t see her again.” She struggles against her mate snuggling further into me “She's going all the way to Day for two weeks. And then its Starfall and she not celebrating with us, so we won't get to see her until we have to get new dresses” 

So Amren had let that fact slip. I knew she had been looking at the papers on my desk a little too closely.

“Well, we can ask her if she would like to celebrate Starfall with us Darling. If you want to see her; you can always see if she will go get lunch or coffee with you.” He gently coaxes her to let me go. 

I feel the gentle scrape of a claw along my mental shields. I ever so slightly open a crack for Rhysand. 

‘Once I get her off of you, I’m going to winnow her home. I’m sorry that she decided to latch onto you.’ He whispers quietly in my mind.

‘It's ok, make sure she gets home safely.’ It's a polite response. 

‘Will do. Please send me a note letting me know you made it back to your home safely.’ The concern in his voice is unusual to me but I nod all the less. Soon enough Rhysand pries his wife of a me and has picked her up in a bridal carry. 

“Have a good night Sweetheart.” He winks before winnowing away to their home. 

With the two of them gone it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. My trip to Day cannot come soon enough. Just this little taste of what it would be like with them kills me. They didn’t mean it though; Feyre was drunk and clingy, and Rhys would have told her whatever he thought she wanted her to hear so that she would let go. They didn’t mean what they said and that hurt. I got a glimpse of what having them both would be like only to have the rug ripped out from under my feet. 

A hand lands on my shoulder causing me to jump. I whirl around getting ready to fight off whoever grabbed me only to be met with the Shadowsinger.

“Everything good?” He raises a brow. 

“Yeah Rhysand is taking the High Lady home.” I force a smile on my face.

“Heading home, yourself?” He cocks his head to the side. 

“Yeah, I wasn’t lying about having work in the morning.” I sigh. Work was going to suck tomorrow. The Starfall rush was in full swing and I was going to be gone right in the  thick of it but I couldn’t help the fact that my manufacturer was running behind, and this was one of the first times Helion could meet with me. 

“Let me make sure you get home safe.” Azriel says and motions for me to lead the way. 

We walk together in a comfortable silence.  He doesn’t push me to talk to him; he just walks behind me like a terrifying bodyguard. I had always liked that Azriel was comfortable with silence; he never tried to fill the silence of his appointments with mindless chatter. Eventually we made it to my family's home. 

“Make sure you tell Rhys that you got home or he will burst into your shop like a worried mother hen.” Azriel deadpans. 

“I will write him a note the moment I get inside.” I let out a little laugh “Thank you for walking me home Azriel.” 

“It was no problem.” He gives me a warm smile. “I will see you later.”

Azriel’s massive wings spread out and with a mighty flap he is airborne and heading into the sky.  I quickly open the door and shut it once I have entered it warmth. After locking the door I start towards my room.

Note then bed.

Made it home- Sweetheart. 

With a quick flick of my wrist the note is off. 

‘Tomorrow will be better.’ I lied to myself as I striped and crawled under the covers.

Soon sleeps claiming me in her cold arms.

Tag List: @nyctophiliiia @rachelnicolee @goldenmagnolias @jesssicapaniagua @sweetorangeblossom @cat-or-kitten @alowint @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @coldpeachkitten @esosadomd @araneea92 @saltedcoffeescotch @persephonesalvatore @motorsp0rt @motheroffae @butterfix @unfortunatelyuntiltheend @kissesfromnovalie @daughterofthemoons-stuff @saturnalya @thecraziestcrayon @hjgdhghoe @phoenixgurl030

[kingdoms-and-empires]

The King's Hound Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@the-kingshound

Synopsis:

You are the King’s spouse, his right and left hand, the unstoppable executor of his will. Your name is whispered by enemies and allies with fear and respect alike, some says it’s your arm that bears the weight of the entire kingdom.

They call you the King’s hound. It started as a way to taunt you but it’s not that far away from the truth. Your loyalty is blind, your devotion absolute. The King’s vision is your vision.

Your name will forever mark history alongside theirs.

But for now, you are being shipped to your betrothed, alone and powerless on your way to Camelot.

As the seventh child of the Venegard House, you’ve always had little to look forward to other than an arranged marriage to achieve a political alliance.

That’s exactly why, after your parents lost the rebellion against King Arthur, you were the one sent to him as a sign of newfound peace.

You don’t know what awaits you now, but after you Camelot will never be the same.

Review:

The Good: The project is 18+, and the writing is very well done. It just feels quality. Plus the UI and and dark background are classy. The game is Twine, so you get the save functions of Twine and all that jazz. Anyways, descriptions are well done, the worldbuilding is grounded and helps form the politics in-game. It's thought-out and noticeable. The player customization goes hard and you even get the option to play mute! In The King's Hound, you also find a game that provides the LGBTQ+ demographic and FemMC playing community a welcoming and acknowledging home. The descriptions of the fight scenes and battles (like action set pieces) are good and don't leave you scratching your head. The transitions between paragraphs and pages happen naturally and without breaking pace, which shows the talent of a writer that considers their audience. Also, in regards to the King Arthur mythos and worldbuilding done by the author, i just really appreciate the fact that Camelot is Welsh.

It just gives me an idea of how much the author researched or cares about the mythos to give that respect of origin for the story. I had problems with how King Arthur was being super nice at first, but the author recently stated in a post that Arthur was acting in such a manner because he is deliberately trying to be the opposite of King Uther!

And that in the future, the work will offer more text to reveal that to us, the player.

The Bad: I wouldve liked being able to marry a cousin, niece, sister, or even daughter of King Arthur (or genderbender him) but that is literally my only complaint as a straight dude tryna self insert. The author tells you explicitly that you are marrying the king. If the author decides not to, as is their right and vision, I have no problem whatsoever. I still think the work is well written, and has many elements that i personally fuck with (low fantasy, grounded narrative, adult themes) The fact that i wish the author could change this, is only because i like the work so much. Instead, in this playthrough King Arthur will find that the MC practices

The Ugly: The MAP. But that's only because my history buff mind thinks of the British Isle when hearing these names and when i saw the map it physically gave me whiplash. But youre making your own version of the story, so bully!

The Aftermath: I know this game isnt catered towards me as a straight dude. It is a proud queer game with quality writing, that'd also do really well for the FemMC readers. I would recommend this game to anyone who wants a low fantasy medieval setting, with good writing, and grounded narratives that isn't a straight dude's traditional power fantasy.

Next playthrough, ima be a mute straight girl thatll hoe around King Arthur's court out of sheer spite

^Marci from Dota: Dragon Blood

[amalthea-13]

In canon Stolas is supposed to be able to predict prophecies. But in canon he never actually does.

Hear me out.

What if… the reason he wasn’t predicting the future was because his whole life, Paimon had his life set to one inevitable path. And Stolas could not mystically perceive of any other futures because of it.

What if… his prophecies are a skill he’ll only truly gain after losing everything?

Stolas and His Prophecies

Welp, I know no one expected me to post today. I have honestly been slowly feeling better. As I slowly get better from being under the weather however, I am watching Steven Universe from S1 all the way through and this ask tipped off my inner SU fan because it reminded me of the Ruby and Sapphire wedding!

Moving on, Hi All! It is I, Amalthea, the Ultimate Stolas Kinnie and Stan! Welcome back to another essay!

Stolas's Life and How it Changed

When it comes to Stolas's life I have detailed in the Stolas and His Lack of Autonomy essay how he was stripped of any sense of autonomy or life outside of his roll. In that post I also talk about how Stolas, socially works very similar to Pink Diamond from Steven Universe;

"I have argued this in both the SU fandom and in Helluva Boss, but wealth does not shield you from abuse. Wealth cannot shield you from becoming a victim. Wealth aids the abusers, not the abused. Stolas is stuck in an endless cycle of pain due to a system that strips him of his humanity and choice. He has no autonomy to do much else and if he tries? Beaten and silenced into submission by his wife who continues to perpetuate and reinforce that system in their home, same as Blue and Yellow Diamond to Pink."

However, Stolas and- Stolitz as a ship, function very similarly to another Steven Universe ship, Rubpphire!

Stolas and Sapphire

I will get into parallels right now! Firstly, Ms. Sapphire mostly correlates with Stolas. One of the main things Sapphire documents about her life is how it was before Ruby. That her life was this one long stream of events that she knew till her shattering and nothing could change that.

Stolas very similarly has a singular purpose to look into the future. He believes his only job is to his family and to provide prophecies. As I document in Stolas, Via, and Loo Loo Land, Stolas's entire life is stream lined ahead of him. He just needs to in a sense "get through it";

"Now when Stolas talks about the "stars aligning" I believe this is a reference to Octavia being an adult at some point so he can walk away from his obligations in life. Whether that be via death or such, he knows that once she is of that age and raised right she will be fine and have no need of him."

That he only needs to suffer a little while longer and then he can truly be free of his position. In my prior post I even note Paimon just expected Stolas to understand and go along with everything;

Paimon:*leans toward Stolas* Wonderful! *speaks fast* Also, son, you are destined to sire *pulls a picture of a young Stella from his cloak* a precautionary addition to the Goetia family. So, you are now engaged. *shows Stolas the picture* Congratulations. Isn't she charming?

Long story short, Stolas's life was neverending and monotonous like Sapphire's;

"Ruby, my future used to look like one single, obvious stream, unbending 'til the end of time." (Sapphire during the Wedding)

Both of these upperclass individuals had very little agency in their lives and just- accepted it.

Blitz and Ruby

Blitz and Ruby have their own similarities. Putting aside the personality similarities (recklessness, anger issues, fiery personalities, taste in magical partners etc.) The major thing about Ruby is her being uncomfortable with how things are in her life. For the longest time Ruby didn't feel adequate on her own;

"I used to feel like I wasn't much good, just one of me on my own. But when we're together, it feels like it's okay to just be me. So I wanna be me, with you, an-and, not even the Diamonds will come between us. And if they try, we'll beat em up!" (Ruby during the Wedding)

Ruby felt like she wasn't good by herself, but when she's with Sapphire it is okay to let her guard down and be herself. That she can be truly vulnerable and intimate with her.

Blitz himself feels inadequate on his own and the only times he ever feels good enough or okay is when he is with someone else. He always feels he has to serve others in some type of way. That he cannot just- exist and be good on his own.

Similarly to Ruby, Blitz craves relationships and comfort. However, he cannot relax in relationships due to his own issues. However, while Stolas and Blitz's dynamic isn't perfect. Blitz can in some sense be comfortable.

He can go months without sex or demands.

Stolas allows him to be as freaky as he fucking wants in bed.

Stolas actually starts listening when he says certain things aren't okay.

After Mastermind, Blitz can truly let his guard down and feel- comfortable with Stolas since he felt finally seen and heard in some regard. That he's not just- some convenient imp, but someone worth dying for.

Despite my- disdain for how Blitz flipped in Sinsmas, it is important to note his comfortability with Stolas and how that fits into their dynamic as it reflects very similarly to Ruby and Sapphire's!

What Does This Have to Do With Stolas's Prophecies?

To my dear asker, I do apologize for the tangent, but I PROMISE it all correlates to my main point! As you pointed out, when Stolas was following his "destiny", he never really prophesized or talked about the future. He kinda acted as a figure head. As I pointed out in my essay, Stolas, Yuno Gasai, and Delusional Attachments, Blitz was Stolas's first interaction with what freedom actually looked like, what it meant to have agency;

"As a child, we know Stolas struggles in a world that doesn't care about his free will. He has no parental support. His life has been decided for him and there is no escape from his fate. His life and story has been written for him with no consent or change of his own. Stolas doesn't have a choice. He sees Blitz once, in a sense of perceived freedom and ability to choose his life."

Blitz provided hope for a brighter future. A tomorrow outside of the one he was stuck in. It is only when they meet again, that- fate and destiny shift. That Stolas's 'purpose' and 'position' no longer matter. Blitz falling onto the damn table and fucking up Stella's tea party- it all meant Stolas didn't have to hide anymore. He was already humiliated thanks to Blitz and that meant he could finally start making his own choices.

As I said in my Stolas and His Lack of Autonomy essay;

"Blitz was Stolas's only out. The only thing Stolas clung to for years as a out of his situation. Stella could tear apart his body, set fire to his clothes, belittle him, ostracize him, or even speak bad on his name, but she couldn't take Blitz away. She couldn't stop Stolas from dreaming. This is a concept I explain in my Stolas + Yuno Gasai character analysis, that the delusional attachment Stolas has to Blitz allowed him to maintain some essence of control over his life but also hope for a brighter future."

Stolas's agency is important! He needs to feel some semblance of control and choice for him to slowly be more open and himself as we have seen with his personality being more open and sassy in Apology Tour and Sinsmas! Stolas feels more comfortable now thanks to Blitz. He's a safe place!

Now what does this have to do with prophecies? I personally believe that when Stolas finally- feels comfortable and is allowed to breathe (i think it'll happen closer to when Via comes back), he will be able to start telling prophecies and maybe have a wider range of powers like Sapphire!

"In an instant, you pulled me from that destiny, and opened my eye to an explosion of infinite possible futures, streaking across space and time, altered and obliterated by the smallest force of will. What I mean is, you changed my life. And then, I changed your life. And now, we changed our lives." (Sapphire at the Wedding)

When Stolas and Blitz finally- become one, Stolas will actually be able to see how his life is more than just the choices he makes, but the relationships he has and how the comfort in them make him fundamentally stronger and better.

Blitz acts as this catalyst during The Circus, and ever since that moment, Stolas had a future of choice, and agency.

When Via is back and he is stable in an environment of comfort and newfound possibilities? I think his powers will magnify and grow in the most beautiful ways.

I hope this answers the question!

[seventeenlovesthree]

Madoka Magica Ship Analysis - HomuMami

Based on these two polls [X] [X], I will write an analysis that'll also include how I feel about the ship (similarly to my Digimon shipping game analysis posts).

Disclaimer: I won't claim this to be a conclusive/definitive analysis of all of the ship's aspects. I have watched the original 12-episode-series and movies (including Rebellion), the Magia Record anime and I've read several manga series (the Original, The Different Story, Wraith Arc, Rebellion Story, Oriko Magica, Another Story, Mitakihara Anti-Materials). But I'm aware that I haven't seen/read all of what's out there and am also not thoroughly familiar with the games. Plus, oftentimes, ship dynamics vary depending on which series/timeline you are looking at. So this is going to be my personal take on it.

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

HomuMami is a very curious case in regards to a very common theme in the Madoka Magica universe: Namely that of painting them as polar opposites/antagonistic forces when it comes to colour schemes (purple/black vs. yellow/white) and attitudes... While also ensuring there are enough similarities between them in both text and subtext to make the viewer/reader ask: "Well, why didn't they get along better?" Thankfully, there is a (semi-)authorized spin-off manga that explores their complementary/similarity dynamics in great detail - but we will get to that later, as we shall focus on their relationship and its development in the main story first.

When Homura Akemi (or Moemura for short) meets Mami Tomoe for the very first time, she's a beacon of strength and confidence alongside Madoka Kaname - two "senior Magical Girls" with a positive and welcoming attitude... And while Homura is mainly seen hyperfocusing on Madoka at this point in time (and doesn't even seem to take much note of the first time Mami falls in battle), it doesn't seem unlikely to assume that this is everything she ever wanted: To have reassuring people around her, friends that are kind, patient and supportive, functioning as role models to look up to. As pointed out in the HomuSaya analysis, Homura was initially very wary of Sayaka for considering her a liability - but Mami, at least at this point in time, didn't give her any reason to question her. Quite the contrary - while it's never explicitly stated in the original series (we will get back to that later!), doesn't it seem rather peculiar that Homura ends up choosing guns as her weapons of choice after everything else didn't work out...? Granted, they are no muskets, but you get the idea...

It's not until Mami snaps upon learning the truth about Magical Girls that Homura's view of her begins to crumble. The kind, strong, invincible mask, the pedestal Homura may (or may not) have put her Senpai on disappears and, timeline upon timeline, gets replaced more and more by skepticism, mistrust - and an overall hyperfocus on Mami being the actual liability in the group.

When the viewers first get to witness Mami and Homura interact without knowing their backstory, they get a sense of... Malice between them, they definitely are not on good terms and see each other as threats. Mami is portrayed as righteous, the "good" kind of Magical Girl - whereas Homura is perceived as mysterious, emotionless and cold, only working towards her own objectives without taking others into consideration. Where Mami approaches Homura with teasing passive-aggressiveness, Homura responds with cool nonchalance. As mentioned, putting characters on opposing ends is a theme throughout the entire series (see KyouSaya for comparison). However, it's also a theme in the series to have the characters put on fronts and facades - and that is the case for both Homura and Mami on various levels.

Where, oh where does one begin to describe the similarities between them? First of all, there may be the fact that they're both orphans, both suffering from survivor's guilt - and that one of their deepest initial wishes once was not to be alone anymore. We see this with Mami desperately wishing not to fight on her own anymore after being the only one surviving the car crash after making her wish - she is yearning for company, even more so after the (temporary) loss of Kyouko's friendship, displayed by the eagerness to have Madoka and Sayaka by her side (in various different timelines). Homura (while still being Moemura) considered herself worthless and unable to fit in, imperfect, unstable, weak... Until she met Madoka. And Mami. And this is where things become rather tragic - because with Mami losing her mind in one of the later timelines, she may also have lost Homura's trust indefinitely. The person who may have been the perfect friend, self-confident, beautiful and strong, who may have helped to cure her own loneliness - turned out to be imperfect, unstable, weak herself...

Again, this has not been specifically mentioned, but Homura may have been incredibly disappointed in Mami - and thus ended up cautious of her in every timeline going forward. Unfortunately, she is also proven right most of the time - but also often shows remorse for "having been too late" (to save her as well; while Mami suffers from survivor's guilt towards her parents, it's absolutely possible that Homura feels similarly about all the timelines she had to witnesses the other girls - including Mami - fall).

In general, Homura's arc is constantly accompanied by Mami's fate being her own sword of Damocles. Homura's wish may have been to meet and save Madoka again - but to accomplish that, she also had to try not to fall into despair the same way Mami did time and time again. Mami may have been her Senpai and gun-wielding role model once - and now she's turned into a negative example of how not to end up. Hence why Homura is generally incredibly observant of Mami's behaviour - and tells herself that she "could never get along" with her, as seen in Rebellion Story. In her eyes, it would have been easy for any enemy (such as Bébé) to deceive and manipulate Mami - since she considers her to be just that desperate for love and affection. Tragically enough, this may have been her inner monologue at this point, indirectly showing just how much Homura may have related to Mami:

"You're soft, you are weak and by God, I cannot afford to make the same mistakes you did, so I try to ignore the fact that I must have been pretty close to become like you several times over once I let my guard down, once I realize how incredibly lonely I am as well..."

One could even argue that this is exactly why they're 100% on par during their fight in Rebellion Story - because Homura tried so hard not to fail like Mami that she had to become at least as strong as Mami's strongest self. And yet... Homura still underestimates Mami. As well as her own perception of her - because not only did she STILL care enough not to kill her when she had the chance... She also didn't see her final trick coming, because Homura's view of Mami, just like of everyone else, is very idealized/condensed. She formed her opinion of them through all the time-loops - unsurprisingly so! - and thus, everything that exceeds her expectations cannot be considered by her.

It may be a coping mechanism, it may be her way of protecting herself - and a certain sense of suspicion may always remain within Homura when it comes to Mami. However - some timelines show that things could have gone differently. Wraith Arc for example at least hints at Homura trusting Mami enough to let her show her how to use guns after losing her own abilities - while Mami has an absolute blast acting in very senpai-esque (and even somewhat flirtatious) ways again.

And then, of course, there is Mitakihara Anti-Materials - a somewhat comedic but very heartfelt story that focuses on the premise: "What if Homura moved in with Mami in one of the timelines so they could actually get to know one another and there is hope that, in this one, Mami will actually survive thanks to the bond they develop...?" While it absolutely IS more of a comedy manga, it allows both of them to breathe in ways we haven't seen before; Homura sees Mami's more ditzy side and, instead of just considering her a liability, sees her as a good-hearted, inspiring companion (even if her Tsundere-attitude doesn't let her admit that out loud). Mami, on the other side, discovers that Homura's cool exterior is also just a facade and that she may actually just need a partner to lend her a hand (or someone who helps cutting her hair, which, in itself, is a huge sign of trust). Between weapon cleaning, game playing, study sessions, grocery shopping and lots of food talks, they really seem able to let their guard down more with each other here, there is familiarity, softness, friendly bickering, even physical closeness. It's even here that Homura admits that it had been Mami's suggestion to use guns as weapons! Although Homura is always aware of the threat that looms in the back, always cautious, one can feel the hopeful note that, maybe this time, things will be alright. In general - as well as between Mami and herself.

In the end, just like with almost all Madoka Magica ships, this one is pretty much doomed by the narrative. The main story always has them end up clashing and opposing one another - even if there is still this little glimpse of hope that, maybe the reason why they never end up beating each other in combat, is that, deep down inside, they may just care too much, but aren't able to convey that...

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

Without question, it may actually take something reminiscent of the timeline in Mitakihara Anti-Materials for them to work out romantically - because this may be one of the few, if not the only timeline that allows Homura to actually look at Mami beyond the rigid image of her she has created in her mind. Beyond all idealization as well as all the negativity. Instead, she may be able to see and value their similarities and how they complement one another, finding reasons to live aside from being Magical Girls on duty... It's a rather melancholic yet very soft interpretation of "a good end" for Homura where she doesn't hyperfocus on Madoka anymore and, thus, may not even get close to fall into despair. The same goes for Mami, who not only has someone to care for, but also has that same someone - who looks through her picture-perfect facade - care for her in return, without coddling, without beating around the bush. In a timeline like this - they may actually be able to rescue one another, learn to handle both their loneliness and survivor's guilt, accept each other's flaws with endearment and become domestic life partners (as depicted above).

In regards to the "original" timeline however, just like almost every other Madoka Magica ship, they may require a lot of therapy - to get over all the prejudice and resentment they have developed towards each other. With Homura being unable to look past (herself in) Weak!Mami and Mami being unable to understand and deal with Aloof!Homura, they need a lot of rekindling to overcome the mutual mistrust. (And if you take both Rebellion Story's and Magia Record's symbolism seriously, it's no surprise that they keep opposing one another - Holy!Mami and Homucifer may be framed to be enemies just as much as Madokami and Homucifer after all...)

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

I probably would never have grown as fond of this ship if I hadn't stumbled across Mitakihara Anti-Materials by accident. Prior to reading this manga, I thought the main fascination in fandom stemmed from their fight in Rebellion Story (and the potential sexual tenson/friction that comes from the enemies-to-lovers trope, including kinky power play with ribbons...). But now I'm seeing these two in an entirely different light - even the second season of the Magia Record anime gave the whole "Homura used to look up to Mami a lot" idea a whole new spin by ACTUALLY having her carry a part of her ribbon with her... It was the Senpai/Kouhai angle we hadn't seen to this extent yet and before I knew it, I was hooked on their potential dynamic. Once again, there are a lot of "what ifs" and "almosts" sprinkled in here, especially because the main timeline prioritizes the theme of mistrust and misunderstanding between them too thoroughly. Hence why it feels so soothing to read Mitakihara Anti-Materials, which gives them such a hopeful flavour, allowing them to pause, care about and appreciate each other despite their trauma. It's a lot of wishful thinking of course, but definitely the version of them I prefer as a romantic ship!

[auriidae]

LIFESTUCK ?!?! (pt 2 here!) (pt 3)

i was sick a couple days ago and spent like 12 hours straight doing nothing but classpecting life series characters and then was like Yeah i have to draw this now. so here's some sillies 👍 (super long classpect ramble under cut because i spent far too long on it not to share hfshjf)

quick note: i really really love @/classpect-navelgazing's theories and used them for a lot of the ideas here. go check their blog out it rules :]

ok you guys flower ranchers (scott tango jimmy) are making me so insane for this au specifically because of this idea i had about doom/life players. doom in true canon is related to inevitability, fate, and knowledge of the specific rules that keep the characters trapped within their story, right. and life is sort of related to healing, physically and mentally, within the confines of the game. so within this au, the aspect of life refers to the rules within the game that the players can see and are aware of (last life’s trading lives system + boogeyman, third life’s soulmate mechanic, secret life’s tasks, etc.). life players have some amount of dominion over these elements (depending on their class, of course). doom on the other hand refers to everything surrounding the games (stuff like admin powers, the world barrier, and whatever happens to the players after they die). 

as a mage of doom, scot (his name is so funny to me. like yeah he sure is) has a bunch of intrinsic knowledge about the way the games function on a logistical level. he’s like a guy who read the script a while ago and forgot all the characters’ names but knows the basic plot and how it’s going to end. or who knows all the ins and outs of tech crew and for whom the apparent magic of the show for the audience is lost on, since he knows how it’s being done. the thing is, scot isn't especially able to act on this knowledge during the game. what director wants someone in the audience — or one of the actors — taking all the magic out of the show, spoiling how it works and how it ends? no, it’s best if they keep that knowledge to themselves — and so scot’s narratively unable to affect the stories of those around him, even his close friends who he’d want to help. he’s aware of this, of course, which makes him more than a little depressed, as he can see the futility of it all and can’t even explain to anyone what’s going on and how the game works. (the only story he’s able to affect, of course, is his own. which. depressed doom player + mage martyr complex + guy who Really cares about his friends is not necessarily a good combination.)

the amount of stock i put in the idea of gendered classes is close to zero so tangoe gets to be a maid of life because ohh my goodness. i like the theory (thanks classpect-navelgazing) of life as “the aspect of affluence,” where life players usually enter the game with some kind of material wealth or status that helps their position in some way. i also like the idea that maid players start the game with a surplus of their aspect but often end up feeling as if they’re only seen as a provider of that specific thing as a result of this, and so end up longing for something else instead. this primarily applies to last life tango because that’s the season i’m most familiar with lol, but i thought the way he started out with so many lives there and quickly dwindled as a result of everyone taking from him and only him was Really interesting. mans has all the luck of the game he could need, but only wants friends to actually be able to live with. being a life player also ties into his little gambling games and things (again, dominion over stuff within the overarching game/story, but nothing beyond that).

then we get to jimi (again fantastic name). the basic premise of an heir is that they’re played by their aspect, right and Oh Boy is jimmy played by life in the life series. i don’t personally know much about anything he’s done other than heehoo canary guy but along with the previously stated points it’s So fun to see him as a life player because it allows for some really clearly contrast between the way he interacts with tangoe and scot based on their aspects. i really like the idea of scot being like “you’re a life player jimi. it's in your name. the game is not going to let you die” and jimi like “you really think so? aw thanks man” neither of them knowing that dying as a life player in this game is literally like in the job description. (ok. i kind of feel like i’m letting jimi down by basing his story so far around other people.. but this is just for fun and i can always change it later)

(also i could easily have put tangoe and jimi as doom players too but for the fact that i don’t think they necessarily see through the game as much as scot does (or at all). and so life it is.)

feel free to ask me questions abt them!!! i have so many thoughts about this bro 

[bengiyo]

An Apology to Ossan's Love and The Novelist

I'm writing this post today as a formal apology to both Ossan's Love and The Novelist for avoiding them in 2018-2019 due to general negative fandom takes about them. Both shows are great, and I should have watched them six years ago.

I recently watched the Pornographer series thanks to @lurkingshan burning some of her coupons to make me properly engage with the series. In that series I found one of the most compelling expressions of internalized homophobia I’ve ever seen. Rio was not only cut off from being sexual with other people, but he felt like he couldn’t even be a proper man.

Later, in Mood Indigo, we got to see the messed-up way Rio became an erotic novelist but also finally seemed to connect with an important part of himself. He also found a mentor who, despite his proclivities, became an important paternal figure to Rio.

Finally, in Playback, Rio finally faced his own insecurities and accepted that Haruhiko loves him and reciprocated it. At every stage of this story, they are able to communicate so much of their story through the sex that’s happening. We’re applauding depictions of sex happening in the genre now that this series was doing half a decade ago.

I decided to give Ossan’s Love a second try when I saw @isaksbestpillow getting so excited about the second season and providing context for the original show. With Ossan’s Love, I understand why people might have bounced off this series right away. A lot of folks don’t enjoy the way the Japanese do comedy, Haruta is intentionally unlikeable at the beginning, and I’ve seen concerns about the boss either being a predator or that his feelings would be treated as a joke.

Thankfully, I tend to enjoy Japanese comedy and found the show hilarious! I was laughing out loud almost every single episode because of multiple characters, but most especially Yoshida Kotaro as the boss. This show generated so much of its comedy from the core characterization of each character, so every joke landed so smoothly for me.

Something I really liked about this show was that it never said we were wrong for disliking Haruta for being a mess and a slob. He cannot take care of himself, and he barely gets better at it before the end of the show. I like that Maki breaking up with him didn’t make him suddenly straighten up his ways about this and become a fully-functioning housekeeper, but he did get better about doing some chores even as the chief started taking care of him. Haruta isn’t the easiest character to like on the domestic front, but he is good at his job and he is a kind character. I like that you have to figure out why these guys like the mess that is Haruta, because I like the audience has to think about what in men that gay people find attractive. Is that a rosy-eyed read? Yes. I don’t are.

As for the boss, he never uses his position over Haruta, and they’re also in sales. It’s not as egregious to me as it would feel in other positions. I also like that his attraction to Haruta isn’t a joke, but the fact that he’s older and maybe isn’t speaking the language of the youth is very funny. He’s an extremely endearing character and I love Kurosawa Musashi.

So, this is my apology to both of these shows for letting negative fan opinions stop me from facing these shows properly. Both of them were great. I’m currently working through the Ossan’s Love: In the Sky season to get to the movie and new show.

[ninadove]

A word on Benedetto’s father figures

Because I’ve been thinking about it all week. Have some parallels and contrasts, my friends:

Villefort:

Starts off Benedetto’s story extremely strongly by literally burying him alive within minutes of his birth. No one has ever failed their son harder.

Might have been onto something when he said crime spread around him and from him like a disease. Seriously, look at this family! It’s so dysfunctional in so many ways!!! If you’re a nature-over-nurture person, it’s not that far-fetched to suppose Benedetto got the Criminal Gene™ from him.

Literally changed his name to hide his compromising origins (as much as humanly possible in the spheres he frequents).

Burnt Edmond’s denunciation letter. Guess who else likes to burn things?

Is brought down by the literal unearthing of his biggest secret, which in turn concludes Benedetto’s arc.

Bertuccio:

Is, literally, the one who gave Benedetto life, and the emissary of Providence™ who shows up to bestow blessings upon him at semi-regular intervals.

Unfortunately, those gifts are always cursed. Surprise salvation from the grave in the garden? Only happens because Bertuccio tried to murder the kid’s father first, and results in what is functionally a kidnapping. Surprise adoption? Results in Benedetto being raised by a literal criminal, who is #shocked when his protege starts hanging out with ill-intentioned older boys and disciplines him with what we can reasonably assume from the unreliable narration is the good old belt. Surprise life-changing information about his origins that Bertuccio held onto all these years? Only revealed to cement Benedetto’s status as Monte-Cristo’s puppet.

Crumbled the second Benedetto questioned his ascendance, therefore drawing a clear link between authority and paternity and reinforcing the kid’s desire to defy both.

“Major Cavalcanti”:

Is just Some Guy™.

And yet, they have so much in common: both are impostors trapped in Monte-Cristo’s web, both are passionate about scamming rich people. There’s a quasi-instantaneous recognition between the two and, because they share the same goal, they develop a strangely wholesome understanding…? It’s forced coexistence as much as it is respect, but it’s not deprived of a weird sort of warmth, and Monte-Cristo himself comments on how much it looks like actual familial love. The contrast with Caderousse could not be harsher.

In virtue of his fake wealth and fake fatherhood, the Major becomes the Ultimate Authority™ ‘Andrea’ name-drops every time he wants to advance in society.

Caderousse:

Outwardly, he adopts all the attributes of a good father. He taught Benedetto most of his tricks! He feeds him! He talks of all the hardships they’ve been through together, like a family would!

But, of course, what he’s really doing is blackmailing Benedetto. Caderousse wants money, and it’s taken him a while to actually get his hands dirty, but he’s finally graduating to murder! And his silly young friend should help him if he doesn’t want his blood spilled on Place de Grève.

Anyway Benedetto stabs that guy real bad. I thought it was hilarious of him.

Danglars:

As Andrea’s future father-in-law, Danglars is his ticket towards the life of luxury without effort he has always wanted.

Of course, Danglars is using Andrea for the same reason Caderousse uses Benedetto: for money. Both of them lie about what they own, ergo about who they are, to get their hands on what they think the other has. This is especially interesting when put in perspective with the brutal honesty Danglars employs when talking to Eugénie, who he treats like a son and almost business partner rather than like a daughter (Transmasc Eugénie Truthers, rise up!).

… But of course, he still wants people to think of he and Andrea as family to strengthen his own nobility: if his son (in-law) is a prince, a title Danglars repeats ad nauseam, doesn’t that make him a king?

All things considered, despite losing their freedom (temporarily in Danglars’ case), money and status, both of them get a relatively happy ending compared to most of the cast.

Monte-Cristo:

BUCKLE UP THIS IS THE MOST INTERESTING.

Twice Benedetto raises the possibility of Monte-Cristo being his biological father, a perfectly logical conclusion in light of what he has done for him; in turn, Monte-Cristo recognises Benedetto as one of God’s punishers, a title he otherwise only attributes to himself.

Both of them went through a symbolic rebirth after being buried alive.

Both of them were wrongly accused of being evil incarnate, but eventually graduated to Full-On Criminals. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies.

Escape Artists™

Both had to completely reinvent themselves, down to their names and origins, to achieve their ambitions.

Ruined engagement ceremony!!! This also draws parallels to Villefort and, interestingly, to Valentine and Franz.

THIS:

🇫🇷 « Ce calme, cette parfaite aisance firent comprendre à Andrea qu’il était pour le moment étreint par une main plus musculeuse que la sienne, et que l’étreinte n’en pouvait être facilement brisée. »

🇬🇧 « This calm, this perfect poise told Andrea that he was presently held by a hand far stronger than his, whose grip could not be escaped easily. »

Both Edmond and Benedetto know they are prisoners of people more powerful than they are, of the narrative, of a superior power that wields them like knives; both Monte-Cristo and Andrea accept their role as knives in the hope of eventually slicing through their ties. Whether or not they succeeded in the end is up to the reader’s interpretation.

[monsterritory]

Just finished reading your comis and all I got to say is

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

Toxic codependent discduo my beloved! So beautiful!

Also, I'm in love with your art style, it's distinct and give a cute-and-colorful-but-in-a-poison-dart-frog vibe

Also Dream is so sassy and evil and gender, LOVE!

Do yu have a favorite discduo interpretation? Mine is that Dream used Tommy as a stressball during Exile and stop caring once he got something else to do, Tommy, on the other hand experience full undivided attention for the first time and now he needs more no matter how painfull

Thank youuuu so very much ~

Toxic codependency is very fun to write about, I'm glad you spotted it so well.

Cute and colourful but in a poison dart frog way. That is quite a description, I love it! I've always loved bright colours and there's nothing stopping me from making my stories look exactly how I like them now. It's amazing.

My Dream is indeed sassy (by the council's decree) and Very Gender, yes, that is very important about him.

So glad you asked about my favourite discduo dynamic. I am so normal about them.

[inhales]

I think that things that happened to Dream before have led him to believe that loving someone or caring about someone can only be done if one person has an unfair advantage over the other. It's just what happens when you don't love your kids. They grow to see abuse as the only way love can function.

And that's the way Dream thinks the world works. No one has ever loved him for himself, only as long as there was something he was able to provide for them. If he wasn't good enough, he was left to survive by his own devices. That's how he feels about his friends too, and he's convinced this is such a fundamental way the world works, he never felt the need to bring it up.

Enter Tommy. This brat knows nothing about how the world works. He breaks all of the rules, actually. He's annoying and not helpful and steals things and hurts people. And for some reason, he's still loved?

I think Dream feels jealous of it at first. But he knows that's just not how things are supposed to work. He knows he can fix the boy.

Then Tommy gets in his way and takes his land and burns down his ex's house and tries to blackmail him, and suddenly Dream can't postpone his plan any longer.

Tommy is now in exile and Dream gets to show him how things really work. Tommy is wild, and Dream needs to tame him to fix him.

And maybe it's at that point that he starts to notice... and suddenly it seems so obvious.

Tommy is bratty, and that's so fun. Other people don't know why they love him, shouldn't know. But Dream knows. He loves the way he gets to push and punish, and the way Tommy pushes and fights back. It's so much more interesting than just plain obedience.

He's teaching Tommy. He's in control of Tommy. The feelings predate this realization, but their time in Exile cements it in.

Dream cares about Tommy. A lot. He cares about him in all the wrong ways. He loves Tommy, not for how useful or good the boy is, but for how fun and rebellious he is. He's just too fun. And the best part is - he can't hurt Dream.

This time Dream is in control. This time Dream is stronger. This time Dream is the one telling someone what's wrong and what's right. This time Dream is the one in power in this twisted thing people seem to call love.

And to be honest, the boy does have that stray munchkin charm to him.

Dream can do whatever he wants.

...So maybe, once in a while, he can do something nice for Tommy too. He can get him a poppy or let him borrow his trident or share a joke. Attend his party. Sympathize, understand him, listen to him.

.........It doesn't matter how Tommy reacts. It doesn't matter if Tommy hates him for it. It doesn't matter if Tommy could never care about Dream the same way. It doesn't matter what the boy says. Dream keeps telling himself that a lot. It doesn't matter.

Tommy is his. That's his boy, his chew toy, his property, his love. He can do whatever he wants with this little gift from the universe that walked right into his world.

He can be evil like all those who "loved" Dream before. Or he can choose to be better at the whole "loving" thing and do some kind things. But he's still in control. He'll always be.

There's two ways this dynamic can develop.

Either Tommy, as angry as he is, makes a choice to stop and try to understand Dream, try to see why does he act the way he does. What does that monster hide behind that mask? He could try to understand Dream, to show him sympathy, the last thing Dream expects from him.

And maybe, if they could just sit down and talk about it, maybe they could find a way to meet in the middle a little bit more.

Or Tommy can stay himself. Stubborn and hateful. He can focus on the pain, but only the pain Dream inflicts on him. Not the pain Tommy inflicted on Dream. And he can stay rebellious and yank the chains Dream's got him wrapped up in, never realizing that Dream is fuelled by their rattle.

Either way Tommy will remain Dream's, forever.

And I think that's beautiful.

[cr4zyoosh]

New & Improved Design of my CRP Oc/Sona! (Sort of)

So here’s some thoughts & details more about her I also provided color scheme for anyone who may want to draw her?? I know I’m not that popular but it would be so greatly honored to have that! 🫶😭

First I want to start off with the AGE OF HER!

So, in her backstory over the course of months part taking her backstory she is 18-19 years old, by the time she meets Slendy/Operator(?) it is in fact close to her birthday month. (Now I have no ideas for names or a different birthdate for her other than my own name & birthday)

Around the time she is finally in the mansion & has been there for at least a couple weeks it’s her birthday then that’s when she will endure the “proxy” sickness or whatever it is called just the sickness where she gets her powers, by the time her powers are finally overtaking her & finished she is at least around 19 or 20 years old. Then on the course of years she been there canonically she is around 20-22 years old! FULL GROWN YOUNG ADULT!

Secondly, her power!

Now I want to mention that yes at first I wanted her to be a very powerful “being” (will explain the ‘being’ part later) but in actuality, her power is actually not the strongest. Her power like mention in my story/ideas post that she has these powers where she can morph into this “demon type thing”; like sleep paralysis, but it takes up a lot of her energy. So she does not use it a lot, only for the “stunning” part where she makes the victim “paralyzed” like how sleep paralysis is. Then either she attacks the victim with the switchblade/pocket knife or the other proxy along with her on the missions gets their kill in. Of course when she uses her full power she is powerful absolutely yes, but it takes up so much of her energy that she needs to chill out & tag along with the other proxies & kill them how the others do.(such as how Jeff & Toby are both very much human with good amount of strength, that is what she would have to do instead of using her power.) Now she does still have that power where she’s in her demon form & she can use the red mist / shadow stuff to have it travel into the victims eye sockets & mouth, infecting them, along with this is when she infects them you can see red veins (glowing) travel up to the victims minds/brain, she then can see & hear their thoughts & dreams; marking her name as The Dream Reaper. She also then has them fade away into her “realm” of the souls she has “reaped”, so she can gain more energy. This also if the other proxies knock out the victims & she’s near, she can be able to send them directly to her “realm” to reap their soul, then even share the soul to feed for herself & the proxy that helped her. (Sharing is caring ya know?)

Now her weakness.

Previously mentioned she doesn’t use her full power all the time, due to draining her so badly. If she completely is drained she will grow sickly again like when she was getting her powers & end up having those dreams again that come to life. If she is that desperate & cannot use her power for gathering energy, she may end up in a cannibalisic state where another proxy needs to bring her a victim knocked out & have to be kept in a room for her to actually feed on the victim. THIS IS A IDEA NOT FULLY SURE TO GO THROUGH WITH IT!

I will explain in my story as I retype it all out & finally finish it instead of just the two chapters spread out what she endured during the so called “sickness”.

A bit of spoilers!

She… she isn’t really human. If you could not tell before about her power. Let’s just say she is more of a proxy absolutely, but is undead. Sort of like a zombie but less rotting flesh, etc. more of a zombie but still fully intact brain function & organs. I will explain in my story of how she became of that.

Notes about why I am posting this!

So I wanted to not per se “recreate” her but wanted to make her story & design more… original? I guess? I felt like her design for her “form” is definitely like Zalgos or Lazari’s which by the way IS NOT THE CASE! I was heavily inspired by a dream I once had with red & black images flashing & it was hella scary. Also the inspiration for this was I have such weird ass dreams & I am very spiritually connected to beings that no one can see from the naked eye, I also happen to love creepypasta & slenderverse stuff so win win! I want to also mention that, I’ve made fan art of her & Tim/Masky yes (the posted ones) in my story I won’t make it a “canon” thing because Tim/Masky isn’t MINE to own & do that to, but I may have her have a bit of a crush on him & have a few interactions with one another because why not? They have similar personalities sort of & similar trauma’s a bit so win win as well but also… daddy issues YAYYYYY (not). But if anyone would like to make fan art of him & her I would absolutely love to see it! (I know this won’t be too popular but it’s greatly appreciated to see fan art with the other Proxies or Marble Hornets characters or even your own CRP Ocs!!!)

I want to also add her personality!

Her personality is… anxiety ridden. She’s absolutely jumpy & paranoid half of the time, but once she finally settles down in the mansion, she’s a bit calmer but still slightly kept to herself, she’s also a bit mischievous as well. She barely sleeps & if she does, it’s for a short time. If she is weak she may sleep longer. She’s also alternative! She’s scene emo, hint to her hair. But she also likes the grunge clothing as well, obviously the music too, she enjoys PTV, SWS, MCR, Digital Daggers, aesthetically pleasing music (like the silent hill soundtracks, along with Alex g, Tv Girl, Julie, Wisp, etc!), along with this is of course some scene music like some Brokencyde, 30H!3, Millionares, some underground scene bands, now in for some more metal such as Korn, Evanescence, SOAD, Deftones, some Staind, Three Days Grace, Get Scared (of course). Also likes some gothic music such as some HIM, some Lebanon Hanover, & a bit of twin tribes! Other honorable mentions of music is The Front Bottoms, Current Joys, Cigarettes After Sex, some Nirvana, Blink-182, & Lana Del Rey. Some of the calm music help her calm herself down.

She also likes to draw & take notes on everyone in the mansion. She will draw them out & make notes on their personality, the way they talk, quite literally everything. (Will be explained more in story of why.) When she is around people she is comfortable with you would think she’s an absolute stoner (aka she sort of is). Now when she is out on missions, absolutely secluded to herself, absolutely INSANE due to lack of sleep, aggressive as fuck, quite literally the one to tell the victim what she will do to them kind of thing, does not hesitate towards anyone, maybe only children though & animals of course she isn’t fully insane. Duh of course she slightly knows how to play guitar & can sing a good ass mean rock/metal songs even ones sang by men! Absolutely loves guitar hero too. (I can see her, Jeff, & probably Ben playing that all the time for shitz & giggles). She also dresses scene close to Nina almost, but mostly Jean shorts with ripped tights or skinny ripped jeans along with a band tee or anything 2000s, along with some scene arm warmers sometimes or even ripped arm things like tights but for her arms along with thick bracelets or Candi (I totally see Nina & her making some for one another even having sally join in!) now her outfit to go on missions is in fact grunge looking but it keeps her hidden, able to carry more stuff in her pockets, & the outfit she wandered out & found Slenderman/The Operator (not sure which yet). Her grunge look is mostly casual wear but she mostly does wear Scene looks more, even if they are very simple. Absolutely her hair is dyed bright red & black obviously but she is a natural red head (like myself that’s why she’s more of a sona than oc but I call her both!) & yes she has a eyebrow piercing!

THIS IS HEAVILY BASED ON THE SLENDER MANSION BUT ALSO IN THE SLENDERVERSE IT IS MY OWN TAKE OF THOSE!!!

I think that’s all I have for now! Fill free to ask questions or like I previously said, draw anything with her with your own creepypasta oc or some of the characters themselves! 🫶🫶🫶

[kharla-k]

Ending a Grand Overture in Relation to Chapter 14

Ending a Grand Overture feels like a very strange event to me, because it cashes in on the main story to provide the climax of a separate entire event. Furthermore, and frustratingly for someone as invested in the main story as they are, it seems to tie up several of the loose ends for that story, that I care about, in passing, while covering in-depth it's own.

The Military Commission is attacked by Rhodes Island and the recently-remade-and-spearheaded-by-Wis'Adel Babel (!!!), dismantling it and ending the war. This is all that's said about it. (GO-8 Before:)

We don't learn how they were able to capture the apparently-still-functional airship shown in A Kazdelian Rescue either.

Theresis escaped somehow, and the most detail we get about this is more focused towards setting up a vignette. Did Ascalon actually encounter him, talk to him even, but not manage to stop him? Did he sneak out and she didn't even see him, failing in a task she's likely been obsessing over for years now? This is a vitally important moment for Ascalon, and yet. (GO-8 Before:)

Theresis also succeeded in whatever machinations he and his sister had, now gaining the ability to create catastrophe storms anywhere at will, securing the safety of the Sarkaz presumably indefinitely. Another footnote. (GO-2 Before:)

I found it difficult to engage with, much less enjoy the Glasgow Gang for a long part of the main story, until they finally came around with Chapter 12. I cried over Baird. I thought they were legitimately cool moving forward from 13 and into 14. But using the main story as a kicking off point, and eliminating one of my favorite characters as a footnote during its own finale leaves me exasperated and deeply saddened. Nezzsalem essentially dies off-screen, no quotes, no words, nothing. And then the story effectively celebrates it, which makes sense with the context, but just feels in poor taste. (GO-8 Before:)

Just because I came to appreciate the Glasgow Gang, doesn't mean that I value them over the main story. So I spent the entire event wondering and poring over it, trying to glean all I could about the aftermath of Chapter 14, and focused on a lot of things that EaGO wasn't about. I don't feel as though I can, in good faith, call EaGO even a subpar event, because these issues aren't its fault, but I still struggled to enjoy it in the face of pining for more main story content.