hi, i completely agree that the fandom has a problem with misogyny and often fails at self-introspection. my question is, do you have any resources/tips/thoughts on how to be better about it? even, how to recognize it in yourself the first place? "ok i'll stop being a misogynist now" is a lot easier said than done, especially for people who might not be that educated on the subject, and majority of the people in this fandom are quite young as well.
this is long as fuck and possibly somewhat incoherent bc it took so long to write but i did my best
my biggest tip for people who don't know much about misogyny is to look at your own behavior and learn how to clock what you're doing as sexist.
are you criticizing a female creator? think about why you're doing it, what the actual beef you have with them is. if it seems to be just a sense of discomfort or thinking they're annoying or overly loud or pushy, think about male ccs who act the same way and why you dont consider them annoying. are you annoyed with them for being on a male cc's stream? why? does it feel like theyre taking up too much attention? do you get annoyed with them for talking too much or flirting with guys? for gaming especially-- do you get annoyed with them for not knowing something or being "bad" at a game? think about why that is and why its just funny when a male cc is bad at games or doesnt know something.
a HUGE problem i see in this fandom is the Madonna-whore complex, repackaged as the little sister-racist dichotomy (kudos to @yourlittlemenace for that phrasing).
if a female cc is deemed to be "playing nice" (doesnt talk too much, is "nice", streams with male ccs but doesnt flirt with them, isn't "overtly sexual"), she's the little sister of the group. all the male ccs "protect" her, she literally folds their laundry, she doesnt call out how people treat her, and the fandom pretends that this is a normal and cool way to treat women who are public figures. this also goes for mom/big sister/etc. if you think you haven't done this, think about all the aus where you've forced puffy into some kind of maternal or sisterly role when it made no sense. then think about how pissed people got when she decided not to be the server therapist and was "mean" to Tommy (in lore, with permission. that she didnt even need to get. see that clip i rbed earlier from her podcast.)
if the fandom decides she doesnt play nice, if she flirts with male ccs too much or stands up for herself or points out how unfair it is that she's being treated this way, she gets demeaned, harassed, and shunned by the fandom. consider, again, puffy. consider how niki flirted with wilbur and talked about misogyny and got called a racist for *checks notes* "speaking to schlatt and fundy" and "not being a native english speaker". she got called a slut and a queerbaiter for kissing another woman despite being bisexual.
consider how hard people went down on hannah for having said the r slur several years back versus how hard they went on dream for the same thing. and how people dug it up as a direct response to her being on stream with dream. consider how every time hannah talks about how unfair it is that the mcc subreddit treats her like trash, she has to delete all her tweets bc they harass her to hell and back and act like she's an asshole for pointing out their hypocrisy.
the fandom doesnt do this across the board; i shouldnt have to say this, but its not an everyone versus no one issue. some people do this outright and loud, some dont seem to realize theyre doing it, and a few people dont do it at all (incredibly rare, i can count on one hand the number of people who genuinely seem to try to avoid these issues, which is why im complaining).
in terms of lore, have you ever once done analysis on a female character? why do you think you haven't? the bechdel-wallace test is an (imperfect) way of gauging how a piece of media ignores women and prioritizes men. think about the fact that there are FOUR female ccs on the DSMP and they are continually ignored in favor of male characters. consider that puffy and aimsey both talked about trying to do genuine lore and getting shafted, either because no one was online and wouldn't put in the effort to stream with them or because they received insane amounts of criticism for breaking anything on the server, despite the clear lack of "no griefing" rules and the precedent that you can blow other people's shit up (tommy leveling one of puffy's builds, amongst many other examples).
a quick thing about ships: have you ever wondered why m/m ships are so popular? the general consensus amongst people who care about feminism and are into fandom studies is that for a long period of time, m/m was hugely popular because women are so rarely written as full and complete characters in any media. so people took to engaging with m/m ships and writing about them because they were the most fulfilling relationships, and because misogyny led them to be predisposed to be uninterested in female characters.
say an m/m ship is incredibly popular, something like, i dunno, john watson and sherlock holmes from bbc sherlock. lets also say the canonical media presents one or both of the characters with a female love interest. how do you think a fandom that prioritizes m/m ships and is primed to be disinterested in women as characters (either because of our society's role in teaching people that women do not matter or because of fandom's history in assuming female characters are not fleshed out) is going to react? if you said theyre going to send undue amounts of criticism her way and act like its an act of homophobia to give a canonically straight character a female love interest, congrats, you've figured out a huge component in fandom misogyny. take this, amplify it over several decades, and add the psychic damage that supernatural gave society. queerbaiting is bad but mistreating female characters in service of nonexistent queer relationships is also bad.
this is relevant in general but i also believe its relevant for the dsmp because of the complete lack of m/f ships. aside from phil and kristin, who are literally married irl and kristin isn't even on the server, there are no m/f ships that involve female creators. this is not, despite what you may think, due to the inherently yaoi nature of minecraft roleplay. this is because the creators, including the male ones, are afraid of the blowback of m/f flirting and how fucking awful people are to female ccs anytime it happens. once again look at niki. as another example, consider how notfounders harassed the living daylights out of mxmtoon for flirting with gnf on twitter. if i was a cc i would avoid it like the plague too considering how happy people are to dig shit up about them or accuse them of being a slut or an attention whore/"pick me girl" for speaking to a man.
one last thing, this is more about fanart than anything else but stop drawing women to look like teenage boys. the amount of fanart i see where i literally cannot tell if someone has drawn niki or tommy is fucking insane. niki has curves. draw her with them. if you cannot draw women or people outside a very specific body type you cannot draw. fatphobia and misogyny have a clear overlap.
i cant think of anything else and ive already spent forever on this. look into feminist media analysis. think twice about how you react to female ccs & female characters. consider not just what characters have interesting stories but who is allowed to have interesting stories. you might be neglecting someone who has a lot going on because you're dismissing a female character as inherently less likely to be interesting. you might not even know someone has an interesting story because the fandom neglects it so completely.
as a final little note: like i said earlier, if you're not familiar with gender & sexuality studies, you may not know this, but homophobia and transphobia are rooted in misogyny. the idea that gender is immutable and rigid is because of the patriarchy. this is why gendered slurs are used against queer people and why queer men in particular get accused of and demeaned for being feminine. your understanding of queerphobia is incomplete without considering how sexism plays a role.
also go read everything rayne fisher-quann has ever written but especially this piece on getting woman'd and listen to you're wrong about
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My little girl's birthday is on 8/15. In just two days, she will be three full years old. She lived ten months of her life between fear, illness, terror, shock, displacement and deprivation. She was deprived of everything: the affection of her father, which she needed from her simplest needs, diapers and milk, even clothes, her toys and clean water. She was deprived of a good bath. She lived through great suffering and was shocked by the killing of her beloved father in front of her. She saw all the events, so much so that from the severity and enormity of the shock, she could no longer speak anything. Her beautiful steps, which I used to look at with happiness, she could no longer skip. She loved to look at ballet dancers and stand on her feet and start imitating them a little. I was waiting for her to grow up a little so that I could register her in ballet dance education centers and see her achieve her dream. But after everything that happened, how can her dream be achieved? It has become very difficult, but everything can be changed with your help. Please do not abandon my little girl. Donate for her, please.
Hello! I sincerely hope you and all of your family are doing as well as you can today; especially Almas.
—————————
Today is my friend, Hadeel’s, daughter’s birthday. So please allow me to tell y’all about her.
Almas is turning three years old today (August 15), but has spent the last ten months of her life in this genocide.
During this time, instead of being able to learn and grow as any child has the right to, Almas has witnessed horrific atrocities, including her own father’s death, directly in front of her. These traumatic events have led her to regressing developmentally, being unable to speak when previously being able, and returning to uncontrollable urination, meaning she requires diapers every day. This isn’t even to speak of other basic needs those of us outside of Gaza take for granted, such as food, water, and secure shelter.
Before everything, Almas was a happy little girl, who loved her family and loved to dance. Here is a photo of her with her mother.
With the occupation increasing the intensity of its attacks, it becomes harder and harder for Hadeel, Almas’ mother and sole provider, to find the things that she and the rest of their 13-member family require for their survival.
So today, I ask all of you out there with the means to help: PLEASE consider sharing and donating for Almas, and for the rest of her family. Let us give her the gift of life and hope for her birthday.
€4,932/€20,000 goal vvvv
(reblogged by 90-ghost)
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no, but really, we need to talk about the casual objectification that has become the fallback discourse of the internet: if you're pretty and dressed nicely, you're a slut. and if you're even vaguely outside of their body standard, you're fucking disgusting.
too-frequently, people position sex workers as being "the problem". they sneer you're addicted to pornography, you don't know what a real woman looks like. but real women are in pornography. the real bodies on display are not the issue here: the issue is that other people feel extremely confident when commenting on someone's physique.
2000's super-thin is slowly worming its way back into the public ideal. recently i saw someone get told to "go for a run", despite the fact she was on the thinner side of average. not that it would ever be appropriate to say that: but it's kind of like sticker shock when you see it. people think that is fat? holy shit. do they just have no idea about things?
but what are you going to do about it? that's the problem, right. because chances are - you're a normal person. we can say normalize carrying fat on your body, but we are not the billion-dollar diet industry. we are not the billion-dollar fashion industry. we are just, like. people. who are trying to make content on the internet, without being treated shittily.
as someone who has been on both sides of things: you are treated better when you are thin and pretty. this is statistically correct. i am not saying that you cannot be bullied for being thin; i'm saying there are objective institutional biases against certain bodytypes. there are videos of men and women who lost weight all saying: i now know for a fact exactly how much worse you're treated. in the comments, some asshole inevitably says something akin to you deserved to be dehumanized when you were fat.
which means that ... the easiest thing to do is be pretty and thin. it is the path of least resistance, because of course it is, because any time you post a picture of yourself without a thigh gap, someone immediately comments something like you need to try a diet.
the other half is also dehumanizing though, huh, just in a different way. when i put on makeup and nice clothes, i am told i slept my way to the top as a professional. do you know how many women in STEM have told me they purposefully dress to "unimpress" because they already struggle to be taken seriously and if they're ever considered pretty - it for some reason takes away from their authority.
so they make it seem like it's your fault. you, existing in a body - it's your fault! if you didn't want shitty comments, don't have a body. they position us against each other like chess pieces; vying for male attention we don't even need.
and i can be an authority on this unless you think i'm fat and unattractive. when i am pretty and thin, i'm an activist. when i am just a normal person who makes a good point: i am immediately dismissed. nobody fucking believes you if you're not seen as attractive. you literally lose value. you cease to exist.
but the whole time, it feels like - is anyone actually grounded the fuck in reality? the line of "pretty and thin" keeps shifting. nobody seems to understand what "a normal weight" even looks like, because it's not something that exists - you cannot tell a person's health by looking at their body. even if you think you could tell that, even if you're sure a person is dangerously overweight - people are not your dolls. they do not need to be dressed up or displayed properly to soothe your aesthetics. you aren't concerned for them, you're stealing their agency. you don't get to say if they're "allowed" to take pictures and post them on the internet - you don't get to tell them how to exist.
people hide behind "the obesity epidemic" without any actual qualifications. they crow things about "normalizing unhealthiness".
but it's bullshit. i have visible abs. there is a pair of parallel lines on my body, even when i'm relaxed; where my obliques meet my abdominal wall. i am proud of this because it means i'm strong, because i overcame an eating disorder only to be ripped as fuck. it is genetic and physical luck that i even get any definition, i'm pleased as punch.
but it does mean that my abdominal wall sticks out a little bit. the other day i posted a video of myself dancing, and, for a moment, my shirt slipped. you could see a little bit of my stomach. i was cartwheeling to the floor. moments before this, i'd had my foot over my head.
a guy slid into my DMs. a row of vomiting emojis prefaced: you should really lose some weight before you think about dancing.
i stared at it for a long time. there was a time when i would have been triggered by this, where it would have encouraged me to starve myself. i would have ignored the fact i'm flexible, agile, good at jumping: i would have lost the weight for a stranger's passing comment. i would have found myself and my body fucking disgusting.
and for what? to please what? because why? so that he can exist in this world without an unchallenged eyeball? what would my self-hatred even accomplish? usually i write paragraphs. obviously. on this particular occasion, in this body i've been at war with for ages: i just felt exhausted.
it shouldn't be even worth saying. it shouldn't be hard to explain. all of this emotional turmoil when he cannot even comprehend the most basic truth: i am not an object on display for him.
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youre learning Russian, right? I've also started learning with borrowed textbooks, and the consensus I've seen online is that its not enough, and that a course is necessary. if you don't mind I'd be really appreciative to know how you got where you are and if you think that's true.
Спасибо за помощь (ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡
Unfortunately, I don't really know what I'm doing either. Just kinda stumbling through, and "where I am" isn't all that far. I can only ever be an authority on what helps me learn Russian; in my experience, there's never been a one-to-one, "follow these steps I took to become fluent" method. Everyone has to figure out their own quirks. (And if this isn't true for someone then I'm very jealous of that person.)
I've seen about as many different opinions as there are ways to learn. Some think you need courses. Some think courses are useless. Some like textbooks; others hate them. The one consistent thing seems to be input--everyone agrees you need a lot of comprehensible input (meaning, you understand some of what you're consuming). But is a course necessary? I don't think so. Whether it could be vastly beneficial or a waste of time and money is something that depends entirely on the person's learning style. A resource I've linked further down may help you determine whether it'd help you. I've never taken a course, so I don't have any experience there.
Also: I have ADHD, so everything here is working around that. Motivation is a massive issue for me, and I've generally found that forcing my way through something droll for long periods of time just... isn't something I can make myself do. It burns me out. I try to make everything something I want to do, or at least not very painful. But my methods are also slower and less effective than something more structured.
Comprehensible Input
How I got to it being helpful:
People go on about comprehensible input all the time, and I can see why; it's extremely important. It's what finally moved me from mid-A1 to late-A2. But actually getting to a place where input even can be comprehensible was so horrifically painful for me that for a long while I felt completely inept. So, here's the things I did, in order, that I think helped:
A0-A1 (not helpful yet)
Duolingo + Twitter: Don't get me wrong--I hate Duolingo. And non-fanart Twitter. But it was a great combination for learning Cyrillic. I used Duolingo's earliest levels to get familiar with Cyrillic and some very basic words. Concurrently, I followed some Russian fanartists on Twitter who also posted text posts frequently, and turned notifs on for them. That made it so that 3-5 times a day, I would get a notification for a post in Russian, and I would practise reading/sounding out Cyrillic. I wasn't too focused on understanding what the post was saying, just getting a familiarity with the alphabet.
Memrise + Anki: Pain. God, so much pain. This was the worst. Necessary and effective, but the absolute, God-forsaken worst. Once I felt comfortable enough with Cyrillic, I started working through two decks:
a. Memrise: vlarya's 10k most common Russian words deck. It goes in order of most to least common, has audio, and has typing practise. This replaces Duolingo. (When Memrise inevitably removes community courses altogether, feel free to ask for a backup of this deck. If I'm still on here by then, I should be able to give my backup that works with Anki.) I don't recommend Memrise's official courses.
b. Anki: Neri's Russian Sentences (blog link) deck is great for practising the simple words you're learning with Memrise, getting common phrases down, and starting to see how Russian as a language comes together. It'll take a bit to click.
c. keybr: I also started practising a little with keybr, mainly because having to type in Russian on Memrise sucks with the on-screen keyboard. keybr is the best site I've found to learn to touch type different keyboards. It's extremely effective. If you're already a touch-typer, a few hours should be enough to type well enough for Memrise.
YouTube: Russian With Max's 'For Beginners' Playlist was really helpful and motivating, at this point. He speaks slowly, simply, and clearly enough that I could understand him, where I couldn't understand anyone else yet.
I... God, I hate the A0-A1 stage so much. You can't do anything. At least now, I can watch TikToks, read comments, enjoy memes, and understand enough of those to enjoy myself. The stage where you understand nothing is by far the most awful to me. I wish I had anything to make it more bearable, but it's really just the worst. Hopefully you're either past this already, or close to past it. The small mercy is that it doesn't take too long to claw your way out of.
A1-A2 (helpful now)
[Active Immersion] Memrise + Reading/Watching (comp input): keep working through vlarya's 10k deck. My routine is: speed review due cards; finish the 10 cards I started learning yesterday; start learning 10 new words today. That's my reps and warmup. Then, depending on my mood, I'll either read at least 30 mins of 'Дом, в котором...' (with or without audiobook, again depending on mood), or watch at least 30 mins of Max's intermediate vids w/ Russian subtitles. Sometimes in my free time I'll watch Russian lit or ДВК TikToks.
[Passive Immersion] Music/Audiobooks/Let's Plays: pretty self-explanatory. My passive input isn't as comprehensible rn, but I focus on things I enjoy. A let's play to fall asleep to, an audiobook while I'm doing something that requires on-and-off focus. The goal here is just to understand snatches of whatever I can, not so much the whole thing. Eventually, those snatches become more frequent.
I'm sure more dedicated study would help me a lot right now, but I don't really have the time or motivation to, so I don't try to force it.
Regarding Russian language learning YouTube channels, and why I only recommend Max:
I've found that most popular Russian learning YouTube channels feel... well, like school. They're not very interesting, they don't feel very organic. It doesn't feel like I'd be watching their videos for any other reason than learning Russian, which is bad for me, because I need to make Russian part of my life to have any motivation to do it.
So, the reason I like Max's channel so much is that he talks about things that're actually interesting and relevant to me. This video is a personal favourite, but he has a lot of videos about all sorts of topics--some of which I'm genuinely interested in. And his demeanour is more vlogger, less teacher. I like him as a person. (Protip: in this stage, don't be afraid to start his intermediate videos early, even if you don't feel you're there yet. It can still be very helpful to pick out the words you do know, and most of his videos have Russian and English subtitles if you're confused.)
Regarding how to find a good Russian book to read:
I... don't know. Reading ДВК with the audiobook really, really helped with my reading ability, and continues to. I can't state enough how important it was for me. But how to find a book that you can read over and over again... I don't know. I just know that Harry Potter would be absolute torture.
I've seen people say that you should start reading simple things, like children's stories. I personally haven't done much of that, because children's stories bore me out of my mind, but if you like them then I'd give that a shot. I've also heard that Chekhov's stories are good for beginners (I've heard that about Pushkin too, but I'm not sure how easy poetry would be to understand). Read-alongs on YouTube could be good too. Russian With Max has some old livestream read-alongs, and there are plenty of Russian read-alongs on YouTube.
Aside - if you're curious about 'Дом, в котором...', this fan-made trailer is the entire reason I picked up ДВК; the vibes captivated me and I had to know what it was about. So for anyone interested: if the trailer looks cool to you, you may like the book. The English translation is called 'The Gray House'. ДВК is fairly long, and different POV characters have differing levels of complexity with the language. The early chapters are the simpler ones, conveniently, so starting from the beginning should be fine. It's a slice-of-life type story, so easy to pick up and put down. I recommend the Князев audiobook, which is almost certainly the one you'll find if you search 'дом в котором аудиокнига' (it's a fan-made audiobook, so I don't think you can buy it, but like LOTR the fan version is by far the best).
Resources
r/languagelearning's resources page is a good place to skim through, see if anything sticks out. I recommend reading through their 'How to Teach Yourself a Foreign Language'. It's good for giving you an idea of how different people learn, different learning methods, how those methods work for others, and what might work for you.
Refold's Roadmap is very helpful for me to understand where I'm currently at, and what sort of activities it would be beneficial for me to be working on. I use their definition of levels (i.e. A1), so if I wasn't clear what I meant by A1 vs A2, reading through this could be helpful.
SRS:
Anki's for decks I have to create myself, or if I need a more specialised deck. I prefer Memrise for vocab, mainly for typing practise and the better UI. If you want to use Anki for vocab: Refold's ru15k deck is good for A2+. There are plenty of simple word decks to pick from for A0-A1. If you want to word mine to create your own Anki decks, see FLTR below.
Grammar:
New Penguin Russian Course is supposed to be good for grammar. I looked through it, and it does look good. If you understand grammar. I don't, but putting it here for those who do.
Reading:
u/La_Nuit_Americaine's post about reading helps me with motivation, and gave me some pointers about how to do it.
FLTR (Foreign Language Text Reader) is a good Windows program alternative to LingQ, if you can't or don't want to pay for LingQ's subscription. You have to input the word definitions yourself. I used Reverso and Yandex Translate together for this. Your word list can be exported to Anki.
ReadLang is supposed to be a good web-based alternative to LingQ (its free level is still usable, unlike LingQ's). I've not used it much, but it seems pretty good.
My preference is using some translation extension that will let you click on a word and automatically translate it and move on quickly. Simple Translate on Firefox is what I use.
Video Media:
Language Reactor is a subtitle extension for YouTube, Netflix, etc. that has a bunch of cool features. I hardly use it because it's not on Firefox, but if you use Chrome, Opera, etc., it's really handy. For YouTube, it will translate the auto-generated subs for videos, so if you have a Russian video that only has Russian auto-generated subtitles, you can use Language Reactor to get English subtitles.
Other ADHD Accommodations:
Being kind to myself is very important. I can't make myself study by thinking "why can't you just" or "it's not that hard, what's wrong with you". I can't make myself study with positive words either, but using positive language helps my morale so that I have more motivation to study more often.
I use a different browser (Opera) solely for learning Russian. I chose Opera because Language Reactor works on it (would've used Chrome but Chrome is set up for work), but the general idea is having a separate space for Russian. I put Opera's language in Russian, and I keep all my Russian-learning tabs open there, so that when I'm ready to study it's as simple as opening Opera. Having it separated like that also helps my brain see active study as a task that can be opened and closed, rather than combined with everything else (Firefox).
I try to give myself enough options of things to do for immersion that it's always a choice. My brain has so many different states: motivated; unmotivated; foggy; clear; distracted; focused. Each one will want--or even need--something different. If it's a foggy day, I may be able to read along ДВК with an audiobook, but not able to read words without that help. If I'm distracted, TikToks may help more than reading; if I'm focused, reading may help more than TikToks. Or if I'm completely unmotivated, watching one of Max's vids is more passive than reading, therefore less painful.
I love Russian. Not much to this one. I don't think I could stick to learning a language I didn't love for the sake of the language itself.
I wasted time and motivation watching things I wasn't interested in, trying to find media in Russian that appealed to me. I don't recommend that. I don't know the alternative, but I always felt horrible about myself after. It's important to have media you like, but forcing it won't work. Russian movies don't interest me. Everyone else's favourite Russian YouTubers don't appeal to me at all. TikTok is much better for me in that regard, because I can search for specific fandoms that interest me. Luck seems to be the only thing that works for finding good YouTubers.
Textbooks are my kryptonite. I can't use them. They drain motivation so fast. If they work for you, that's great. If they don't, I don't know that forcing it is the solution. It wasn't for me.
I scroll language learning subreddits sometimes for motivation. It's not productive, generally. But it's fun. And I do get some ideas sometimes.
I've mostly accepted that my progress is going to be slower than others. I'm trying not to compare myself. I'm enjoying it now, mostly, learning slowly but learning, and each time I reaffirm that that's okay, it becomes truer.
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