#prosciutto imagine
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shineonyoucrazyyandere · 10 months ago
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May I please for a scenario or headcanons for poly La Squadra including Sorlato with fem darling who knows about their interest towards her and her saying this:
"I know your interest in me, and I'm willing to return those feelings if you let me continue working in my doll shop and you guys work there. Also, I know your original paychecks sucks, so we all get what we want."
Cool, extra hands to help out? Seems like a good bargain, on the surface, there’s no take backs once you say “yes” and being Yandere they will test their dearests mettle to the limits.
Yandere! La Squadra w/ doll shop owner darling
So whether you repair, sell, make dolls, they’re all ready to help. Which depending on the options could be quite chaotic. There will be times they absolutely make you uncomfortable.
Formaggio probably makes comments of how this is rather a bit girly for him and he’d rather just hang around you, Illuso makes a jab at his statement in which these two have a little back and forth. They don’t really end up fighting but there’s a little intensity you can feel.
He then keeps coming up to you for the smallest of tasks or takes forever on certain bits that should be child’s play. It’s absolutely on purpose and almost impossible to get him off your back.
He also mentions you’re so sweet for paying them. That it’s a good thing that he’s there with the others, otherwise you could get taken advantage of. He’s only allowed to do that, and you can feel the irony of his statement thick in the air.
Sewing/clothing repair is interestingly enough right up Pesci’s alley. He’s worked with fishing line and other thin wires so learning isn’t hard when you teach him. Which you likely praise him for how quickly he’s picked things up.
If you compliment him he gets rather shaky, you swear you see some blush to his cheeks, and Prosciutto scolds him to at least try and keep his composure. His heart flys to the moon if you think his nervousness is cute.
Prosciutto is sort of beaming with pride, but at the same time insists having some time with you himself. There might be a lingering amount of jealousy he had for Pesci’s praise coming from you, but he puts that aside and decides he needs to step up his game.
He gets all professional with you and staring at your stitch work, he’ll immediately help you with any snag/mistake you might’ve made. There’s a point he might even guide your own hands if he sees the need.
He absolutely makes sure you can feel him beside you, and is memorizing every type of fabric you use, the measurements, and accessories. Is he much too close to one side of your ear? That’s a yes. He’ll even tell you it’s absolutely necessary, somehow batting off your concerns as if they’re excuses.
Sorbet and Gelato are an interesting pair that love keeping each other company whenever they can dip out. It feels like they’re unproductive in their work, but by the time you’re closing every little thing you asked them to do is done. It seems they’re rather great at keeping your dolls clean honestly. This does come at a personal cost, if no one else is cornering you Sorbet and Gelato will absolutely be there. Gelato seems to recommend certain dolls be rearranged in a certain way. A couple of them are plucked and the money is all in the register. Sorbet on the other hand seems to be great at seeing which ones have massive value if you received a donation or sale. Telling you them to lock them behind glass, the two of them seem to joke about locking you beind a cute glass display. The way they say it seemingly romantically doesn’t feel like a joke however.
Melone does very well with making sure all of your money is accounted for, somehow he knows all your expenses and other things he probably shouldn’t know about you.
If you’re working in the back and he comes into help with a little dusting or cleaning. He will make pretty suggestive comments about you, and suggests some of the outfits the dolls have would be adorable. If you distract him with something such as horoscopes, he immediately explains every little thing about each sign. How you two positively match and were meant to be. Can end up being rather overwhelming.
He does end up having good suggestions on what people seem to gravitate towards. Which of course he tells you this in great detail.
No matter what job he’s put in he almost always manages to be creepy someway, so you’re likely to have him somewhere out of sight out of mind. He doesn’t consider this a punishment in the slightest, and will certainly take advantage with flirting with you behind the scenes. Having him in front of customers is a big no-no however.
Ghiaccio is another handful of his own, he gets sets off pretty easily so you have to figure out a decent way for him to work on something. He does tend to grab your hand occasionally and gently pull you over to him without warning. (Except around risotto).
He does get very agitated if a customer tries to disrespect you. They may not ever come back if he gets their hands on them.
Insists on having you within his eyesight almost constantly, or at least having you around with whatever task you’re having him do.
You do have to coach him out of his jealousy rages or getting aggravated at another member occasionally. Usually you end up making him some type of tea, he indeed relishes this.
Illuso is likely to be the best at being at the front (aside from yourself or prosciutto). He rather enjoys that you don’t mind him “hogging” the position. It gives him an easy way to be almost constantly in your presence.
He’s thorough on whatever you task him with, he wouldn’t be an assassin if he wasn’t capable after all. He’s so thorough he takes advantage and insists to help you himself. Does his best to make you flustered at any given point in the day.
He definitely stalks you and will chillingly mention a show you liked on tv the night before. Unironically engaging in said show’s contents, all while reveling in your conflicting expressions. He’ll fluster you even more if given the chance, up to the point he’s pulled away to do something else.
Risotto is his another enigma with his obsessiveness, he insists on doing everything during closing hours. Taking inventory/stocking, some of your business side paperwork is done even though you didn’t ask him to. He seems normal on the outside but there’s this aura about him that inwardly sets you off. Like he never wants you to leave his sight.
Any troublesome things occurring outside your business (and your home if it’s not right by) cease. He absolutely follows you home every night and early morning when possible. You’ll never see him however, he makes sure of that. He keeps his team in line when need be, but ironically that means you as well.
He wants you comfortable but he’s not afraid of going right to the edge of insanity to keep you around. He’ll certainly coordinate with other members of the team. He considers your “yes” a contract of approval and will do what he sees fit to keep you around. If that means going to the lengths of threatening others so be it. But he and the others already agreed upon this regardless of how you felt about them.
There are dozens of times he just seems to pop out of nowhere on you. He doesn’t seem to have issue with this in the slightest, if you need your hand held from nearly having a heart attack he’s there to oblige.
Just before he goes out on a mission, he always leaves a favorite food of yours (packaged preferably) on your desk.
If you wonder how he got in without giving him with a key, he likely used Metallica to figure out the shape of the keyhole of your locks.
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icerisotto · 7 months ago
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Hi do you think you could write about la squadra and a new teammate who’s quiet and reserved majority of the time but one day they catch them laughing their asses off at one of formaggios really bad stupid jokes?
‹ honestly, i've imagined two scenarios this request: la squadra under diavolo's reign and la squadra under giorno's reign.
‹ it may look inaccurate regarding the gw timeline, but i'm using my headcanon timeline (which can be seen here) in which sorbet and gelato actually died in mid-2000.
‹ with that being said, double scenario!
⌦ warnings: gender-neutral character, mentions of death, mentions of depression, referenced violence, non-canon information, canon events.
➢ scenario one (diavolo).
☆ sorbet and gelato's death impacted the group in every single way it could. it blew their confidence, ruined their already-strained relationship with the boss, and brought shame to their name.
★ as a way to make sure they weren't trying to plot against him again, diavolo assigned a newbie to the team to halt any attempt of betrayal weeks later. a young, reserved and quiet person, enough to unnerve any traitor.
☆ it worked, as la squadra felt too uncomfortable around the newbie to make any other move. some of them even theorized that the newbie was sent to supervise them. naturally, their discomfort turned into hatred very quickly.
★ prosciutto deliberately hated the newbie because of their mysterious personality, even though he tried to keep his cool to preserve his image as the second-in-command. he'd never talk to them aside from missions, and would constantly use training or punishments to take his anger and frustrations on the newcomer.
☆ ghiaccio also openly hated the newbie and believed them to be a spy of the boss. he wasn't afraid of beating the shit out of the newbie if they ever cross his path or boundaries (something extremely easy to do, considering his mood swings). as a fellow, ghiaccio hardly acknowledged the presence of the stranger.
★ pesci is a gentle guy but loyal to his brother. when he realized prosciutto despised the newbie, he automatically avoided being seen talking to them. it didn't mean he was rude or cold like the others: he was willing to welcome the newbie instead of distrusting them over something they had no say in, giving them knitted gifts and food behind the others' backs.
☆ illuso knew how it felt to be hated by his teammates, especially because of his rough start in la squadra. he still decided to ignore the newbie's presence, much like ghiaccio but without the violence part. he simply distrusted them and refused to be friends with them, sometimes walking out of the room or into the mirror world whenever the newbie showed up.
★ risotto welcomed the newbie normally but lacked warmth due to his friends' deaths. he couldn't embrace the newbie as a true part of the team and only stepped up for them in extreme cases. in general, the capo kept his distance from the newbie and barely talked to them outside their working hours.
☆ formaggio was the closest friend of sorbet and gelato, almost a third party of their couple. he was miserable once the lovers died to the point he almost died of depression. a newbie wasn't what he wanted, not in the slightest. at first, he was hesitant and even resented the newcomer, but he soon overcame his grief and returned to his normal self. he's the only one to treat the newbie like a friend.
★ melone was neutral. while he also was very close to sorbet and gelato, he knew it'd be stupid to lash out at someone who was a mere pawn of diavolo's wicked plans. he was skilled enough to detect any malice in someone, so his suspicions died down after a few months. of course, he still kept his distance just for the sake of his friends' feelings.
☆ la squadra started changing their minds after a year went by without any incident. the newbie proved to be a strong-minded person, not giving up or cracking even though they went through many incidents and violent outbursts caused by the team.
★ some of them regretted their behaviors, some didn't. however, they all agreed the newbie wasn't trying to betray the team nor represented any risks, thus being worthy of their trust and decent treatment.
☆ the newbie was always accompanied by formaggio ever since their arrival as he was the only welcoming member of the team. they were extreme opposites: while the newbie barely talked, formaggio kept the mood bright.
★ during a celebration among passione members, everyone gathered at the bar as formaggio told them one of his silly, overused jokes. at that point, 2/3 of the team was drunk.
☆ formaggio's joke was interrupted by a cackle. everyone was surprised to hear the newbie's laughter for the first time, as they always looked neutral 24/7. some of them could recall hearing a similar sound at midnight when walking down the hallways, but who could think the newbie was responsible for that?
★ formaggio bragged about making the newbie show their soft side, happy to be the one to achieve this. pesci and melone laughed, illuso sneered, while prosciutto and ghiaccio were visibly surprised (although they pretended to not care). risotto remained stoic with a hint of a smile, secretly enjoying seeing his friends bonding.
☆ it still took them a lot of time to accept the newbie completely, but they were embraced after a long period. even though la squadra still felt hesitant around the newcomer, the display of humanity eased their minds. finally, they were ready to move on and let go of their grudges.
➢ scenario two (giorno).
☆ la squadra was livid once diavolo died. having a teenager controlling the mafia was concerning at first, but giorno's management deeply pleased them. they got raises and territories, all they ever asked for.
★ however, after cutting their main income (drugs), passione struggled to keep their balance. as a new alternative, giorno split the drug division and sent their members to other teams. that's how la squadra gets a newbie after so long.
☆ at first, prosciutto didn't appreciate the new member. he was stressed enough with five idiots under his belt, so another one was hell. however, he felt less grumpy once he came to realize the newbie was reserved and silent, something he appreciated. generally, he made small talk always related to work.
★ ghiaccio hated the idea since the beginning and vocalized his dissatisfaction very often. again, he'd throw hands if he ever felt disrespected or cornered. he still kept his distance once he realized the newbie was nothing like the others. they looked annoying in his eyes.
☆ pesci felt excited by the arrival of a new friend, that is until they met. serious people scared him, so he started avoiding the newbie much like he did with risotto, illuso, and ghiaccio in the past. prosciutto and risotto's serious face was enough for him, he didn't need anyone else scaring him (even if not on purpose). it took him a while to get used to their personality.
★ illuso didn't care much. he felt a little pissed about the disruption of their team dynamic at first but quickly overcame it once the newbie proved to be a decent asset instead of a crybaby or loser. in general, he didn't initiate any dialogue and felt relieved the newbie was reserved.
☆ risotto was secretly happy about the newbie's personality. from the hardheaded (illuso and prosciutto) to the silly (formaggio), weird (melone), coward (pesci), and violent (ghiaccio) members, every entry on the team was probation to the capo. he almost knelt and thanked god once he met the newbie, appreciating their reserved behavior. in general, the capo treated them like he'd treat the others.
★ once formaggio met the newbie, his new goal was to make them crack. he wanted to be friends with them and share nice moments. it became a full goal of his, and he'd spend 100% of his time chasing the newcomer everywhere they went while trying to squeeze a single smile out of them.
☆ melone, much like formaggio, became intrigued with the newbie's cold facade. he and personal space were enemies. he wanted to decode every inch of the newcomer's personality, often asking them personal questions to no avail. he cherished every nugget of information he got.
★ by the second or third month, everyone got used to the newbie's presence. some of them still felt hesitant around them but had some respect. pesci, melone and formaggio were the ones who actively befriended the newbie, even though they were stiff and quiet.
☆ somehow, the newbie accepted an invitation to play poker with la squadra after formaggio begged on his knees for them to join the game. even prosciutto got forced to participate by risotto.
★ a few empty bottles later, the game got serious and the bets started. melone had lost a bet and had to remove his shirt, revealing a so-then-hidden tattoo. it looked botched and silly. as formaggio made a nasty joke about it, the newbie snorted.
☆ all eyes were on them, as everyone felt genuinely surprised to see the newbie laughing so hard over such a silly joke. it was the first time they ever saw their teeth. tears of joy slid down their face, mostly because of how intoxicated they were.
★ even though they agreed not to make the newbie feel ashamed about that incident nor comment on it later, la squadra felt more comfortable about befriending them after realizing they only needed a little hand to be likable.
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josukebrainrot · 1 year ago
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Please do more bucci gang headcannons i take anything!
a/n: I just got this and was going to save this for last, but I couldn’t sleep last couple of nights and started thinking all of the general hcs for bucci gang I have . So, here it is !!
WHY DID THIS TURN OUT SO LONG ???!
warnings: sfw and nsfw hcs (will be separated), giorno x mista shipping, light abba x burno and fugo x narancia, mentions of risotto team.
General Bucci Gang Headcanons
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sfw
starting with my love for giomis. mista can’t sleep without having some weight on him, and somehow mista can convince giorno to sleep on top of him when they’re together. giorno won’t admit to mista he enjoys it just as much as he does
abbacchio can’t stand white wine. he only likes red and occasionally rose but only on special occasions
fugo’s way of calming down is to bake stuff, i think his favorite to make would be lemon squares for some reason
talking about lemons, despite his name meaning orange, narancia has a skin allergy to citrus fruits. he can eat them but if the juice gets on his skin it will get broken out and all
burno’s love language is remembering his loves one favorite things and giving them gifts related to those out of the blue like its just another tuesday, he will also do the same on special occasions
burno definitely helps abba put his crown thing on everyday
trish, fugo, and giorno definitely have to force mista to have proper hygiene
not saying its bad but it probably only showers once-twice a week and only brushes his teeth when they feel yucky
abbacchio loves soap operas not those crime drama ones he hates those but those dramatic cheesy ones with evil twins and shit
bruno on the other hand loves crime drama ones especially the lifetime movie ones
mista and narancia FYCKING HATE modern day mtv
narancia is somehow the only one of all the men who does in fact use 3 in 1 shampoo
mista used to use 2 in 1 until giorno came along and stopped him
burno has whole skin care routine
narancia hates the smell of axe body spray
it’s really most fragrances but axe is the one he hates the most
mista thought axe body spray was a replacement for showering for awhile
so did abba when he was a cop but thats a whole another can of worms
narancia looks like the type to collect coins and bills from different countries
bruno knows how to make excellent home made pasta, he def learned it from his father
trish makes fugo go shopping with her because she can’t mista and giorno to go in public for something like that
fugo collects different types of bugs specifically butterflies and moths
trish is pompompurin girlie tell me im wrong
mista is the my melody person of the group
btw abba is badtz-maru, narancia is kuromi, bruno is hello kitty, fugo is cinnamoroll, and giorno is keroppi
i know risotto’s group is supposed to hate brunos but i just know abba and prosciutto are friends who got together every couple of mouths to play poker/cards
fugo favorite animal crossing character is marshall
don’t get me started on the other members of the gang favorites
mista, narancia, ans trish definitely would force the others to see the barbie movie
abba sneaks out to see oppenheimer-
nsfw (hopefully this is short)
abba definitely has a dick piercing (idk which one but he does)
mista wants one
mista has collerbone piercings tho
fugo would have a tongue
(why aren’t this nsfw bc abba with a piercing got thinking about the others)
abba definitely uses his stand to replay his partners orgasms
fugos stand has definitely come out/started appearing when he was horny once
if you know of my one piece blog i once talked about how law would definitely use his devil power during sex (he can remove limbs, hearts, switch bodies, and switch places with things with it) same goes to bruno
he’s used his stand power on his partner, unzip their head off and-
fugo is the type to fuck in a library, on multiple occasions
feel like all of them would be into food play
especially fugo and bruno
i know for fact that giorno has asked mista “is that gun in your pants or you happy to see me” and its 50/50 chance of mista having his gun in the front of his pants or not
WHY DOES GIORNO DO THIS I DON’T KNOW ???
i think the whole mista needs to have a weight on him to sleep is also a sexual thing too. I feel like he likes to have his partners on top him when doing the deed 🤷🏻‍♀️
*cough* fugo’s into bondage *cough*
do you think giorno can use his stand powers on cum?
bruno and abba have strong cucking/voyeur vibes. one likes watching the other fuck someonex but its not like bruno is into abba fucking someone, its both of them. both are into seeing the other fuck
hands down, abba is consenting head pusher. he will only push a persons head during a bj if they consent to it
all these mfs are consent kings/queen btw
fugo might be into cnc tho
why am I making fugo the kinkiest
narancia doesn’t get shit, i feel like he would be very asexual in my mind like he makes sexual jokes and all but hes not really into it and all
someone here is into wax play but I don’t know who- well we know fugo probably is but abba maybe
WHY AM I MAKING FUGO THE KINKIEST HES TRAUMATIZED NOT HORNY AH
mistas into biting and face sitting
also collars-
mista biggest no no is car sex because you know-
WAIT- no I think fugo would still be into library sex despite what happened
melone invited abba and bruno to a sex club once
also maybe a strip club
prosciutto and abba kept making bets on who would get fucked up the most, etc
guess who got fucked up the most
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jojosbizzarewife · 10 months ago
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The type of person to purposefully give you bad relationship advice because they're jealous and possessive (even though they haven't even told you they like you yet)
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Dio, Joseph, Avdol, Hol Horse, Rohan, Kira, Yukako, Yuya, Abbachio, Trish, Illuso, Diavolo, Prosciutto, Weather Report, Versus, Diego, Gyro, Daiya, Mamezuku
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nicherayyy · 2 years ago
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Prosciutto at 6 am: Oh, you’re up already, see, and I said that you’ll feel better if you just go to bed earlier.
Teen Reader who hadn't even gone to bed yet: Ugh.. yeah, you’re right as always, Prosciutto..
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narancias-headband · 2 years ago
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Christmas Eve at La Squadra HQ
Merry Christmas Eve everyone!! I come from a Christmas Eve celebration family so it really feels like Christmas today for me. I hope everyone is happy and staying warm.❤️💚
The Boss seems to at least somewhat respect the holidays, so the whole team usually gets to spend some time together for once. The place is bustling with life with everyone there.
There are some not so great Christmas pasts throughout the group, no surprises there. Despite the usually incessant ribbing between the team, Christmas Eve is quite kind and respectful.
Prosciutto and Pesci have been in the kitchen all day cooking the feast of a dinner for tonight.
Risotto tends to disappear for some last minute gift wrapping.
Formaggio and Illuso are drunk on eggnog by about midday and spend the rest of the night hanging onto each other for balance. They've had years to learn that no one else appreciates it.
Melone is persistent that they should be able to open a present tonight. At least one. We only have one present each, Risotto reminds. This is true; they only do a Secret Santa each year to cut down on time and money spent.
This is the first evening when Ghiaccio won't complain about Christmas carols playing on the radio. He'll even him along if the spirit strikes him.
They actually take the time to eat a meal together. This hardly ever happens with their messy schedules and self-isolating tendencies.
For once, the building is warm and happy and calm. For once, the team is together not as coworkers, but as a little found family.
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squadrah · 1 year ago
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hi again! I was thinking about some Prosciutto HCs recently and wanted to know your opinion on the hcs about him being into vintage styles or 1950s classic hollywood or noir ish etc its kind of like the smoking HCs where it's not canon but there's a vibe so I was curious about how you think it fits him! (or not if you have a specific aesthetic or style you'd think he enjoys I'd love to know about that too!)
Hi, welcome back!
I don't think I've seen much of these headcanons, actually, but I like the sound of them! I'm not partial to the smoking headcanons and only begrudgingly acknowledge them because it's not shown in the manga or anime, but the vast majority of fanwork seems to take it for granted. I'm more partial to him being only an occasional social smoker and for the most part straight edge, just because it feels more interesting to me to have someone who is facing the horrors as they are (and being a sort of horror himself). But I like the idea of the classic styles being associated, because there is something so polished and practical about the man, truly! Prosciutto has by far the most down-to-earth attire of La Squadra, which suggests that he appreciates what has already proven to work. I especially liked the mention of noir, because I feel like he both has an air of classic mystery (gritty or otherwise) and a taste for it. The way he walks Pesci through the discovery of Coco Jumbo and Team Buccellati is almost like Sherlock Holmes sharing his observations and deductions with Dr. Watson, which is very neat to me.
This is all a little jumbled because it is late enough over here, but the short answer is yes, I like the idea of him being into the classics and vintage fashion and noir. If Araki had made him a female character instead, she would have probably had a typical femme fatale look about her... much to think about...
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r0z0 · 5 months ago
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@dolce-tenebra-toscana LOOK LOOK
𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐚 𝐬𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐚 — 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐨 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐞𝐫.
risotto - prosciutto - melone - formaggio - ghiaccio - illuso - pesci - bonus
genre: fluff, not really suggestive.
warnings: swearing.
requested: a lot actually!! so here it is hehe <3
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a/n: am I getting repetitive with the accidental confessions?? i think so bUT you seem to enjoy them a lot so <3 anyways, thank u all for everything hehe love u ♡_____♡
stone ocean got confirmed!??!?!?!?!??!!?!!!! my girlies !!! my girlies are coming !!!
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tpwk-formula1 · 1 month ago
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I would love to place an order!! Thick crust with Red sauce and topped with jalepenos, artichokes, roasted mushrooms, prosciutto, pulled pork, and pancetta served by Lando and Oscar….
(Thinking maybe Zak’s daughter 🤪)
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Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex jalapenos "Always such a fucking brat" artichokes "Imagine your father saw you now. On your knees like a proper trained slut for me to use" roasted mushrooms "Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy” proscuitto "I love making this pretty pussy squirt" pulled pork "God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you" pancetta "Your father always finds a way to piss me off" pink lemonade degrading kink vodka soda squirting dessert no served by Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri
Oscar x Lando x Brown! reader
AN - okay so my computer broke while writing this 😃 so I finished on my phone and will be getting my computer fixed sometime tomorrow and hopefully will be posting more tomorrow night!!
TW - fingering, squirting, double penetration, multiple orgasms, blow job, pussy eating, light M x M
WC
Y/N POV
"Pick one, gorgeous," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his arms as we look at the different Louis Vuitton sunglasses.
"Lando, I have to save to travel the rest of the season. Sure my dad is paying for my travel but I want to be able to splurge the last little bit of the year," I respond back while moving out of his arms and towards Oscar who was looking at luggage.
"How many do you think you'll need?" Oscar asks while looking at the few designs the store had in stock.
"Oscar, none. I will need none. I have suitcases already. What are you and Lando even on right now?" I ask softly while Lando approaches up.
"We'll take two of these," Oscar told the worker while pointing to a large LV rolling trunk in the classic print with fuchsia accents.
"Oscar, what the fuck are you on? What are both of you guys on?" I whisper shout to both of the boys who just stare back at me with a smile.
"The deal," Lando responds making me think back to a few weeks ago when Lando and Oscar had offered to take me to bed in exchange for a shopping spree. I had in fact gone back with them that night but I had no intentions of using the shopping spree. I was content with the thought of spending the night with them and maybe more than just one.
"I thought it was a joke. I was more than happy to spend a night with you two," I tell them as the worker comes back with the new luggage as well as 3 different pairs of sunglasses.
"What the hell Lando," I asked horrified that he went ahead and picked several different pairs.
"You didn't tell me which ones you liked so I grabbed the ones you had picked up and looked at," Lando responds with a bright smile.
We where currently in Milan shopping around, and I had bought a few things here and there but for the most part I was just happy to be with the boys and watching them purchase the things they wanted.
"You're insane, help me pick ONE pair," I respond back while looking through the three pairs and finding my favorite and showing the boys.
"They're yours!" Lando cheers with excitement clearly written all over his face.
"You're insane," I laugh while handing the other two pairs back to the worker and handing Lando the sunglasses I had picked.
When we leave the Louis Vuitton store I ask if we can head back to the hotel. The boys agreed and we made our way back to our hotel.
When we got into the hotel I rushed into the bathroom and changed into a new lingerie set I had picked out while the boys were grabbing us food so neither of them knew what I had gotten.
"Hey, would you guys be able to come in here for a second," I call out to the boys while sticking my head out the bathroom door?
When I see both of the boys come into the bedroom part of the hotel suite I see a confused look written all over Lando's face and Oscar is waiting for me to explain with a raised brow.
"So when you guys went and grabbed food I bought something and I really hope you like it and don't think I look silly," I admit softly before opening the door to reveal the lacy black lingerie set I had picked out and was now wearing.
I watch the boy's reactions intently hoping I didn't get the wrong idea with everything.
"Fuck," I hear Lando mutter with wide eyes while Oscar is just observing the way it looked on me with a slight tint of pink on his cheeks.
"Look so good baby," Oscar finally speaks up while taking a step towards me and pulling me into him while placing a soft kiss on my lips.
"Okay, good! I was worried I was getting the wrong idea and it was only a one-off thing," I admit softly making Lando laugh as he steps behind me keeping me sandwiched between both of the boys.
As Lando is kissing my neck we are interrupted when I hear one of our phones go off making Lando groan and find the culprit.
"Your father always finds a way to piss me off," Lando says while handing my phone to show me that my dad, his boss was calling making me laugh while answering.
"Hey! How is your solo vacation going?" My dad asked through the phone making the boys smirk at me when they realize I had told my dad I was taking a solo trip.
"It's good! Just been enjoying the sun and a bit of shopping," I tell my dad as I watch Oscar get on his knees in front of me while Lando stands behind me.
Oscar pulls my lingerie to the side before taking a lick out of my soaked folds forcing me to hold back the moan I want to let out. I lean agaisnt Lando as Oscar picks up on my legs and lets it rest against his shoulder as he continues to eat me out as I talk to my dad about my trip. All being the truth of what I've been doing but keeping the fact that I'm with his two drivers a secret.
As the phone call is starting to wrap up I feel myself getting close to the edge making me try to push Oscar away not wanting to have an orgasm while on the phone with my dad.
"Alright, well I'll let you enjoy the rest of your week! Love you kid, I'll call tomorrow," I hear my dad tells me making me sign in relief.
"Love you too dad! Talk to you tomorrow," I rush out before ending the call and falling over the edge into a powerful orgasm.
"Fuck, Osc!" I cry out as I let my orgasm wash over me. I feel Oscar slip two of his fingers into my pussy not letting me come down from my orgasm fully before he is finger fucking my sensitive pussy almost instantly pulling a squirting orgasm out of me. I can feel my orgasm soaking everything near me, leaving me shaking in Lando's arms as Oscar continues to finger me through my orgasm.
"Fuck!" I scream out getting overwhelmed with the pleasure coursing through.
"I love making this pretty pussy squirt," Oscar groans while slipping his fingers out of me before standing up and pulling Lando in for a heated kiss making my knees grow weak at the two secret lovers express themselves truely.
"She tastes divine," Lando says when Oscar pulls away licking his lips for show. I can feel my face growing hot at the sight but can't deny the dull throb coursing through me.
I turn around allowing myself to face Lando before pulling Oscar to stand close to Lando before I sink onto my knees and start pulling off the boy's pants before taking both of their cocks into my hands.
"Fuck, she's such a well trained whore for us," Lando says while smirking at Oscar.
"Imagine her father saw her now. On her knees like a proper trained slut for us to use," Oscar says back to Lando making me whine at the teasing words.
I lean down and take Oscar into my mouth making him hiss at the feeling of my wet lips wrapping around his sensitive cock.
"Fuck," He groans when I start bobbing my head but quickly pull away and start giving Lando the same treatment while jerking Oscar off. I repeat this process a few times until Lando pulls me up by my hair and leads me to the bed where he pushes me onto it letting my back hit the matteress while he spreads my legs.
"Damn, be gentle! I'm not unbreakable," I tease with an eye roll making Oscar look at me with a cocked brow.
"Watch the attitude," Lando replies back.
"Make me," I reply back with a faint smirk on my face knowing it was just gonna rial him up. I feel Lando slipping the bottoms of my lingerie set off before roughly shoving his cock into my pussy leaving me no time to adjust to his size.
"Fuck, Lando so good," I moan loudly when I can feel Lando's large cock repetitively hit my sweet spots only he and Oscar had ever been able to find.
"God, I love when I fuck the attitude out of you," Lando teases while still fucking me at the brutal pace.
I can feel my next orgasm start approaching when lando slipped out of my cock and flipped us over so I was now riding his cock while Oscar slips behind us rubbing his fingers along my asshole leaving behind a cool gel I assume is lube.
"Fuck," I gasp when I feel Oscar's fingers slip into my ass stretching me out further.
"I'm gonna cum," I moan when Oscar and Lando start thrusting at the exact same time. I feel myself starting to cumm all over Lando's cock and Oscar's fingers.
I haven't even come down from the last orgasm when I feel the tip of Oscar's cock start pushing into my ass making me whimper. I had been so lost in my pleasure I didn't even notice him slipping his fingers out of my ass.
"Relax," Oscar whispers into my ear before he moves my hair to the side and starts kissing my neck. Lando has stopped his thrusting and started rubbing my clit softly trying to get me to relax enough to fully take both of their cocks at the same time.
"Fuck," I scream out when I feel Oscar bottom out in my ass fully stretching me to a whole new level.
"It's too mcuh," I cry trying to climb out of their laps but Lando gently holds me down.
"Relax sweet girl," Lando tells me while bringing his fingers back to my clit and rubbing circles. I could feel another orgasm starting to build almost instantly with how stimulated being compltetly full made me.
"Move slowly Osc," Lando grunts when he cn feel my pussy flutter around him with an approaching orgasm.
"Fuck, fuck fuck," I start moan chanting while Oscar is slowly rocking his hips in and out of me trying to allow me to get used to the stretch before fully fucking me.
When I feel Lando start thrusting up into me I can't help but start to cry at how overwhelming the pleasure has become.
"Fucking you so good you I can see myself in your tummy,” Lando grunts out making me look down to see the bulge every time he fucks up into me.
"Fuck, we stretched her so much we made room in her tummy," Oscar groans while looking over my shoulder to see the bulge Lando was creating.
"Oh fuck," I scream out when Lando brings his fingers back to my clit throwing me over the edge almost instantly.
"Fuck, soaking us again," Lando said with a smirk as I continue to squirt all over him and some of the back splashes hitting Oscar too.
With one final thrust into my ass I feel Oscar start to unlesh his hot cum in my ass making me whimper at the feeling. When he slips out of my ass I gasp at the feeling of his cum leaking from a hole I had never had cum leak out of.
"Fuck, she's so tight," Lando groans even without Oscar seated in my ass Lando was still being tightly hugged by my pussy walls.
I feel Lando start to pick up his pace clearly getting closer to the edge before he lifts and drops me down on his cock one final time before unleashing a massive load deep into my pussy making me moan.
When he's come down from his high he slowly slips out of me. Oscar comes bear us almost instantly with a warm rag where he cleans me off first before cleaning Lando off and climbing into bed on my other side.
Once we where all comfortable I start running my fingers through Lando’s hair as Oscar runs his fingers up my hips.
“That was perfect,” I announce softly making Lando give us a lazy smile a nod.
“Did so good for us! Took us so well,” Oscar says while kissing my cheek and leaning past me and giving Lando a quick soft kiss.
“We want you to be our,” Oscar announces softly making me turn my head towards him.
“Really? I would love that,” I reply back softly before pulling Oscar in for a proper kiss before turning back to Lando and kissing him.
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shineonyoucrazyyandere · 1 year ago
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Hi! How about a hcs with a gender neutral reader that gets turned into a cat temporarily by a stand, how would la squadra react?
Have a nice day :>
Sure! I’ll go character by character on this one
Yandere! La Squadra w/ gn! Darling turned into a cat by a stand
Risotto - *bat bat bat* He hears the soft sound of something messing around with his hat (he takes it off every so often aside from showers and sleeping). There’s immediate suspicion as he goes to investigate, finding a cat rather than you mesmerized by the golden baubles that spelled his name. Doesn’t take long for the leader himself to put two and two together that you are the cat. Considering he makes sure you won’t escape whatsoever any other time.
It’s hard to tell but his eyes soften slightly from amusement of cat you playing with his hat. He’ll likely pick you up, expression hardening at a potential stand user looming around. He’ll immediately order the rest of the group to be on high alert and track down the user. As cute as you were in cat form, he was not amused by this little trick no matter how harmless it seemed.
Formaggio - manages to squeeze a crude joke, makes a casual comment of how cute you were like that. How he’d love to spend time with you being like that more, while scratching under your chin. He observes if your full on cat, which seems to be the case. Doesn’t mean he won’t be constantly bringing up how willingly you allowed him to pet you, when you revert back later.
Illuso - Amused you were turned into a cat of all things, he’d love to have alone time with you in his mirror world without disturbance. Just an hour or two of holding you close to him. He wouldn’t lie he would have extra satisfaction of bashing the stand users face in from turning you into a cat. Though before that he snaps a picture with a camera of you in cat form for later usage.
Melone - coos and fawns over you the second he sets eyes on you. Even in cat form you seem to be fairly stiff around him, and he absolutely notes every behavior like a decent scientist would. Light touches and pets down the back, and he doesn’t flinch if you decide to try and scratch. You can be certain he’ll be calling you kitten or similar cat nicknames when you revert. Not to mention maybe receiving cat related clothing or other items.
Ghiaccio - In typical fashion he’s more irate that somehow someone got passed them enough to do something to you. He might pet you a bit while ranting how he’s likely going to freeze the user solid if he narrows down where they are. He does think you’re cute in all honesty, he’s simply pissed a slip up on his part or his team caused this headache. The scene is mildly amusing as he continues his rant and pets your soft fur. He’ll likely mention how cute you were with a smirk when he calms down and you’re back to normal.
Prosciutto - As obnoxious as Ghiaccio’s yelling could be, he’s also aggravated at this massive oversight. He definitely ends up approaching to pet you, knowing full well he’ll have to take care of any fur that gets on his suit later. He notes the color of your eyes in cat formed more observationally than anything. Coaxes you to come closer, while side eyeing Pesci who seems giddy at you being a cat. It’s cute but he wants you in human form back as a soon as possible.
Pesci - He’s pretty much over the moon upon seeing you, but trying to keep it to a lower level so he doesn’t end up being poked fun at. Or alternatively being slightly reprimanded by Prosciutto for losing composure when an enemy could be in the vicinity. He has all sorts of thoughts of using one of those mouse toys with you. The man’s pretty much squeaking internally at how cute you were all while giving you some nice head pats. Though he would diligently help eliminate the perpetrator when it came down to it.
Sorbet and Gelato - both of them are pretty fond of the attitude of cats, and they both laugh that you were turned into one of all things. They’ll likely make fun of the user for such a ridiculous strategy, even if they’re nowhere near around. All taking turns holding you, noting how helpless you were not that it made a difference being human either. They both figure out where you like being pet almost immediately, and of course maybe weaponize it against you later like some of the other members of La Squadra.
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oddverse · 7 months ago
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Grateful Dead looks scary but it’s literally a fucking puppy. Like I’m convinced the little dangly things are its tail and Araki had to stop himself from drawing Grateful Dead wagging it. You could teach that thing to play fetch
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YESSSS SHES JUST A BIG EMU PUPPY TO ME
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periwinkla · 4 months ago
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Final NRMT poster with all panels! Print here <3 Did anyone notice... anything about the bottom right panel? It's not too obvious but I wanted it to at least be noticeable within the poster itself that something is... 'off' if you compared it with the other panels. And there's a reason. Honestly it's just about a silly headcanon of mine, and it is also a silly way for me to include it but... I'm silly myself. Under the cut, the hanakotoba notes for the flower panel... and other stuff. The other stuff isn't important really but it was funny for me.
Already talked about this in the flower panel post - but these are the main things I took into consideration when choosing the flowers:
3 sunflowers specifically mean 'I love you' - so I also added 3 chrysanthemums to complement them. By the by, among other things, sunflowers mean 'passion', 'love', 'adoration', 'I only have eyes for you' - while white chrysanthemums mean 'truth'. Red chrysanthemums signify 'love' but I opted against them in favor of the following flowers.
The small blue flowers are forget-me-nots, which, other than the obvious, mean 'true love' in hanakotoba. 
The pink flowers are Japanese primroses ('sakurasou' - they get their name because of their resemblance to cherry blossoms), which mean 'first love', 'longing', 'purity', 'youthful love', 'the beginning of youth and sadness'...
Also, here the nmweek24 tag on the blog to see the posts for the individual panels with additional info/behind the scenes: https://periwinkla.tumblr.com/tagged/nmweek24 note: there are a few minor adjustments I made for the final poster compared to the individual panels (you probably won't even be able to see them honestly) ---Sentimental story time--- The reason I wanted to do something special for nrmt week was because tomorrow (the 8th) will mark the day I first started playing AA1. And I'm so happy I got into it! Funny story: my first exposure to AA was the anime (almost 10 years ago!) I got to the end of the first 12ish episodes, obviously was very confused because it's not meant to be consumed by someone who didn't play the games, and promptly abandoned ship and forgot all about it. Completely. I even forgot I had watched it! until I got to Turnabout Goodbyes because I had a vague recollection of having seen the boat photo. But other than that, complete oblivion (my memory is quite terrible in general). Basically, last year I had finished Detective Pikachu 1 and wanted something similar because I usually play classic jrpgs and needed a change of pace... AA1 was my choice. As I mentioned, I remembered absolutely nothing from the anime (I had no idea Mia died, so, imagine the shock). I went completely blind till I finished with AJ and AAI1-2. Honestly, it's a beautiful experience when you play games without knowing anything about them. It feels like the good old days. I absolutely don't believe that study that says spoilers don't spoil the experience. Also I find it nice that I got into nrmt without outside prompt, because I find it funny that my brain needed to play through 6 games in order to see it. I seem to have prosciutto on my eyes (Italian idiom). In my defense I usually don't look for romance in stories and ship stuff unless it's very obvious. Nrmt comes too close to it to ignore. Ok, end of nostalgic sentimentality. ...And here's the 'other stuff': This print was the thing I said I had hidden 'in plain sight'. It has been on the print shop since... Thursday. 'It was there all along'-well more like half-along really <3
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shankss-magnificent-ass · 3 months ago
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Imagine Rob Lucci trying to make up with you after an argument
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Rob: [just got home from a long day at work and immediately sits down on the couch]
You: Oh, hey hon, did you just get home?
Rob: [sighs] yes
You: How was your day?
Rob: long
You: [notices he's being really kurt with you] That sucks. Since you had such a long day, would you like to pick what I cook for dinner?
Rob: Brandy.
You: [chuckles] I knew you would say that. That can be arranged, but what food would you like?
Rob: I don't care; you can make whatever you want.
You: right, how about something low-effort, like a charcuterie board?
Rob: [runs his hand over his face to try and tamp down his growing overstimulation] Fine by me.
You: hmm, I'll have to pop out to the market real quick, we're running low on cheese. I'll buy some cured meat while I'm out, probably prosciutto.
Rob: fine [gets up and tries to create some space for himself]
You: are you mad at me?
Rob: [tenses up as his temper flares, but manages to tamp it down] No. [doesn't know how to properly express his frustration and the need for space from his problems and people in general] I just... Want to be in space.
You: I might be able to help with that. Do you get drugs tested at work?
Rob: yes?
You: [ shakes your head and turns back into your seat] Then I can't help you.
Rob: [throws up his hands in frustration] Great, just leave me alone for a while.
You: Fine
Rob: [Snaps] Do you always have to have the last word?!
You: [gives him a warning look]
Rob: oh, now you have nothing to say!
You: just go into your study, before you say something both of us regret.
Rob: Don't you take that tone with me.
You: do whatever you want, Rob, I'm done with this. I'm going to the market. [Grabs your keys and wallet/purse and leaves without slamming the door]
Rob: [huffs and looks over at Hattori]
Hattori: [giving him a judgmental stare]
Rob: What are you looking at! You don't have a partner, you don't get to judge me. You single-feathered fuck.
Hattori: [shakes his head]
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Two hours later
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You: [comes into his study and aggressively puts a charcuterie board, and a glass of brandy down in front of him and storms out of the room without saying a word]
Rob: [realizes that he ruined your evening by being a dick and feels bad, so he gets up and follows you] I'm sorry, I took my frustrations about today out on you, and that wasn't okay.
You: [clearly still steaming mad at him]
Rob: I'll be more mindful of that in the future.
You: [deflates] Fine.
Rob: [knows you're still stewing] Why don't I draw you a bath? Hot baths pair well with charcuterie boards and wine.
You: Just a bath?
Rob: I'll put milk, honey, and oatmeal in it, so your skin is nice and soft.
You: a bath alone?
Rob: if you want.
You: I don't know
Rob: I can join you if you want? I'll even rub your shoulders.
You: and we can cuddle?
Rob: {smirks as he pulls you into his arms] yes, we can cuddle. [Kisses the top of your head]
You: Alright, you're forgiven then.
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List of Up-and-coming works || Master list || Twitter| Kofi || Patreon
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jojosbizzarewife · 1 year ago
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Winter/Holiday Headcanons
La Squadra
Risotto, Prosciutto, Pesci, Melone, Illuso, Formaggio, Ghiaccio
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Risotto
writes "from Santa" instead of "From Risotto" on all gifts and cards he gives out this season
Prosciutto
poor guy gets cold hands a lot, so he always keeps hand warmers in his coat
Pesci
loves to watch the fireworks on New Years - gathers all of La Squadra outside and gives them each a sparkler
Melone
gifts everybody sexy red underwear at Christmas for them to wear them on New Years
Illuso
makes his own mulled wine every December - he even makes enough to share
Formaggio
Celebrates Hanukkah. Every night of Hanukkah, all of the members in La Sqadra join in to light a candle
Ghiaccio
if the others piss him off this season, he will freeze their hot drinks
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twiixr4kidz · 3 months ago
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had a specific vision of giving the members of la squadra hugs......... have me being sappy over my boys
shoutout to those of you who followed during my naranchuu days when i was just a jjba blog LMAO (when my requests open back up please send me jojo asks i miss writing for jjba) (also assume that sorbet and gelato are still together in this i just wrote them seperately for the sake of giving them personalities outside of each other)
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risotto nero:
a hug from the capo is a special thing to get.
they're suffocating in the best way from just how tall and strong he is
he'll let you bury your face into his chest as his fingers run through your hair
he always smells so comforting; he smells like home
some of his hugs will be coupled with a kiss on the forehead
others will be coupled with a "you're alright, i've got you"
prosciutto:
he says he's not a hugger, but the fact that he indulges so often says otherwise
prosciu's hugs are tender; so impossibly calming, you could melt in his arms
he keeps a hand resting on your lower back, the other running through your hair
he smells like fancy wine, expensive cologne, and cigarettes
he rocks you back and forth, telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you
pesci:
although nervous about them, he's such a huge hugger
he's big, warm, and so fucking cozy
pesci truly gives some of the best hugs imaginable
he hugs you to make sure you know you're safe with him; he'd never let anything bad happen to you, and if something bad DID happen, he'd make sure it'll never happen again
his fuzzy coat is just a plus!! take advantage of it and nuzzle your face into it, he thinks it's adorable
formaggio:
he's a big hugger, and all of his hugs feel almost playful
he likes to jump out at you and tackle you to the floor, peppering your face with kisses as he tickles your sides
formaggio hugs you a lot for his own comfort
he likes to shrink you down when he hugs you - it's like he's trying to swallow you whole
he's always so warm and cozy, and you if you aren't standing up, you'll be able to fall asleep on him
illuso:
believe it or not, he's shockingly clingy.
yes, he's a giant, cocky asshole who thinks he's better than everybody else. no, he can't get enough of your touch. those concepts can coexist...................
he likes to pop out from behind dark corners and wrap his arms around you tightly
illuso will bury his face in your hair, mumbling what you can only assume are compliments that he's too embarrassed to say out loud
his hands press tight against your sides, thumbs rubbing small circles on your waist
melone:
he gives some of the most comforting, genuine feeling hugs
sure, he might seem a little creepy on the outside, but he can read you like a book
he'll come up from behind you and wrap his arms lazily around your neck
"come here, tesoro. i know you need it."
and he's right damn near every time
sometimes he'll give you a gentle kiss on the cheek before wandering elsewhere
other times, he'll drag you to the couch and force you to cuddle with him
ghiaccio:
he's not good at hugs; he gets nervous and then he stiffens up and freezes
ghiaccio gives you the biggest hugs when you come back home from rough missions, though
his arms wrap around you tightly, face buried in your neck as angry worries pour from his lips - he thought you were a goner
he's scared that you're going to disappear on him, but hugging you makes him feel better
he's nice to hug in the summer months when the heat's getting to you
he's always nice and chilly and if it's you asking, he's happy to oblige (but he'll never say it)
sorbet:
similar to risotto, sorbet's hugs feel like he's suffocating you
he's built like a fucking wall; tall, broad shoulders, wide chest, very muscular
his hugs are few and far between, but he always hugs you like he's trying to kill you
he likes when you're giggling over being stuck in his arms, playfully scratching him and begging him to let go
he gives you a tight squeeze before letting you go, ruffling your hair before wandering off
gelato:
he gives some of the most playful, gentle, warm hugs you could ask for - ironic for such a cold-hearted killer
he likes picking you up and spinning you around before pulling you into his chest
he'll tickle you side with one hand while the other arm stays wrapped around your body so you can't escape his torture
he also likes to bite :3 every hug comes with a little nip on your neck just to hear your squeal
he drags you to cuddle with him after every hug though - you're just sooooo cute and cozy, he can't help it
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ktredshoes · 3 months ago
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HBO War Fanfiction Stats
Let me start by saying that I am not in any sense criticizing anybody's taste in HBO War relationships. In my opinion, any well-written fanfic, regardless of ship, is worthy. Heck, any fanfic is worthy — it takes a special type of creative courage to write and share a fanfiction story so that others might appreciate what you see in characters you love. So, that's the first thing.
Buckle up, I get wordy. More under the cut.
Tagging a handful of folks who showed interest in my decidedly unscientific findings: @onyxsboxes @jesslovesboats @itstheheebiejeebies @onekisstotakewithme @sparkling-strychnine
Trying something here: @meyerlansky @anachilles @astolovewithallmyheart @dano-png
I started down this fanfiction stat rabbit hole about four years ago when I started looking at The Pacific tags on Archive of Our Own (AO3). I was trying to figure out if it was just my imagination or not that everything other than Sledgefu in TP fanfic felt like a rarepair. I was not surprised to find statistical backup for what anecdotally felt true.
I love all the HBO War series — and for the record, I consider Band of Brothers, The Pacific, Generation Kill, and Masters of the Air to all be part of this fandom community. I won't get into trying to rank them or make the case that one is better than another — they are all related in being stories of men at war, and three specifically stories of men at war during World War II — but direct comparisons, in my opinion, are apples to oranges to prosciutto to tiramisu. They all have different raison d'etres. So that's the second thing.
(I will admit to a particular soft spot for The Pacific as the overlooked "younger brother" to Band of Brothers, precisely because of the tendency of some to negatively compare it to BoB. TP was never intended to be "part two" of Band of Brothers — I was listening recently to a podcast with Tony To, an executive producer of both shows, who asserted that BoB was, yes, about the brotherhood of war, but TP was about the cost of war. )
Anyway.
A couple of days ago, I saw someone post about the fact that the Cleven/Egan ship in Masters of the Air was about to hit 1,000 stories on AO3 — and since I knew that the total number of stories was only about 1,400ish, I figured it was time to take a look at MotA stats too. And that led to looking at GK stats and BoB stats and once I finished, I was really struck by what I saw.
I have a whole spreadsheet looking at the four shows, with breakdowns by relationship and character, with percentages of total stories. (I've posted some graphics from those spreadsheets below, not to worry.)
So what did I learn?
The Pacific and Masters of the Air both are overwhelmingly dominated by a single ship — Sledgefu in the case of TP and Clegan in the case of MotA.
As of August 10, 2024, there were 1,500 stories on AO3 tagged for The Pacific, and 1,485 tagged for Masters of the Air. Sledgefu features in 884 of TP stories, which is 58.93% of the total.
You might think that's an astounding total — but Clegan features in an astonishing 986 of MotA stories, or 66.4% of all stories. The falloff in the next highest ship in each fandom is precipitous: Hilldane in 14% of TP stories (210), and Crubbles in 8.82% of MotA stories (131).
If you are a fan of any ship aside from the most popular pairing in these two fandoms, that has got to be terribly discouraging. You wouldn't think the dropoff would be so high if you're at all active in the HBO War fandom on Tumblr, based on what's posted on a daily basis, but if your entry to HBO War fanfic is solely on AO3, what would you think?
I will once again state that I'm making no judgement on anybody's favorite pairing — I'm making a case on behalf of all the other ships. I'll also note that there are many, many fics posted to Tumblr that never make it to AO3, and I would very much encourage those authors to please please please consider posting your stories to AO3! (If you don't have an account on AO3, it currently takes about 10 days from requesting an invitation to receiving it, which is not that long in the scheme of things.)
The popularity of TP and MotA characters in these stories shows a similar disparity between the most popular and everybody else. In The Pacific, Snafu features in 63.53% of AO3 stories (953) and Sledge in 62.6% (939). No one else is as high as even 20% -- Burgie is in 17.2% (258) and Ack Ack is in 15.6% (234) and Hillbilly in 14.73% (221). The other two ostensibly lead characters in TP are Bob Leckie (12.53% or 188 stories) and John Basilone (1.67% or 25). I find that just shocking.
MotA is both better and worse. There are 10 characters who appear in 10% or better of posted stories on AO3 — but the dropoff from most popular to next highest is even more dramatic. Bucky Egan features in 77.9% of stories (1,157) and Buck Cleven in 74.28% (1,103). The next highest is not, as you might think, Harry Crosby or Rosie Rosenthal, the other featured lead characters in the series. It's Curt Biddick, who is in 25.19% of stories (374), followed by Croz in 23.7% (352). Next is Rosie, who is tied with John Brady — both in 16.9% or 251 stories. What a steep drop!
But, hey, at least there are a baker's dozen plus one of characters who feature in at least 100 MotA stories:
Egan: 1,157 stories (77.91%)
Cleven: 1,103 (74.28%)
Biddick: 374 (25.19%)
Crosby: 352 (23.7%)
Brady: 251 (16.9%)
Rosenthal: 251 (16.9%)
DeMarco: 243 (16.36%)
Payne: 225 (15.15%)
Lemmons: 181 (12.19%)
Hamilton: 167 (11.25%)
Marge Spencer: 146 (9.83%)
Douglass: 139 (9.36%)
Kidd: 130 (8.75%)
Blakely: 111 (7.47%)
After 14 years, will TP ever develop more diversity on AO3? Probably doubtful — though since I first checked the stats in 2020, Hilldane has gained 2%, so there's slow change but some change. Eight months in since the birth of the MotA fandom, and Clegan, and by extension Bucky and Bucky, are steamrollering the rest of the MotA relationships and characters on AO3 — based on what I see on Tumblr, I don't know if that huge disparity will hold up, but who knows? It's still a very new fandom.
But what about GenKill and BoB, you say?
Well, as you might have guessed, there's a clear delineation in GK between the top ship and the next ones below it, but the dropoff is not nearly as dramatic as in TP and MotA.
There are 3,024 Generation Kill stories on AO3 as of August 10, 2024, and the number one ship is Brad/Nate, with 1,261 stories, or 41.7% of the total. Next highest is Brad/Ray, with 677 stories, or 22.39%. The top three characters are Brad, featured in 63.82% of stories (1,930), then Ray, featured 52.35% of the time (1,583 stories), followed by Nate (45.44% or 1,374 stories). Next is Walter Hasser at 571 stories (18.88%), followed by Poke Espera at 284 stories (9.39%), Mike Wynn at 262 stories (8.66%), then Doc Bryan at 254 stories (8.4%). There's that dropoff again!
And as for Band of Brothers? After nearly 21 years on AO3 (the oldest story dates from November 2003), there are 5,016 BoB stories on AO3, with a huge number of ships and characters — albeit some quite small. Frankly, I stopped counting after getting to 70 relationships and 55 characters — I just got tired!
Still.
Let me add that the earliest BoB stories on AO3 are not well tagged for ships or characters — many don't have any tags at all. I don't know the reason for it — whether the tagging system in the early AO3 days wasn't easy to navigate, or maybe the lack of tagging was a holdover from earlier systems or archives? I have no idea how well-tagged stories were on LiveJournal, Dreamwidth, or Fanfiction.net. So anyhow, early BoB stories on AO3, if tagged according to current standards, would definitely change the stats but I have no insight on how it might shift them, except definitely upward for the most popular characters and ships.
At any rate: onward.
The top BoB ships on AO3 are 1) Winnix — 1,250 stories or 24.92%, 2) BabeRoe — 771 stories or 15.37%, 3) Webgott — 663 stories or 13.22%, and 4) Speirton — 662 stories or 12.4%.
Moving on to characters, there are a dozen that feature in 10% or better of the BoB total. Take a look:
Winters: 1,173 stories (34.35%)
Nixon: 1,652 (32.93%)
Roe: 1,380 (27.51%)
Speirs: 1,135 (22.63%)
Heffron: 1,125 (22.43%)
Luz: 1,063 (21.19%)
Liebgott: 1,058 (21.09%)
Lipton: 978 (19.5%)
Webster: 790 (15.75%)
Toye: 749 (14.93%)
Guarnere: 686 (13.68%)
Malarkey: 514 (10.25%)
That's a much more even distribution here, without the massive dropoff in the other three fandoms. Or as @itstheheebiejeebies put it to me: "BoB fans feast on variety. It's a grazing table instead of main and side courses." Just so.
So what do I take from all this? I mean, in the case of MotA, I came into the fandom all gaga over Callum Turner and thus Bucky Egan. But then I quickly veered off into following Benny DeMarco (Adam Long) and for the past several months I've fallen under the spell of Everett Blakely (David Shields). Will I stay there? I have no idea! And that's kind of exhilarating.
But here's what I know for sure: as I continue to read and write HBO War fanfic, I'm going to be doing my best to support the ships and characters out of the top tier.
Creators: Don't just post your fanfic to Tumblr — post it to AO3 and tag it.
Be the change that you want to see.
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Now, as promised, here are the stats in graphic form.
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