#sorbet x reader x gelato
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had a specific vision of giving the members of la squadra hugs......... have me being sappy over my boys
shoutout to those of you who followed during my naranchuu days when i was just a jjba blog LMAO (when my requests open back up please send me jojo asks i miss writing for jjba) (also assume that sorbet and gelato are still together in this i just wrote them seperately for the sake of giving them personalities outside of each other)

risotto nero:
a hug from the capo is a special thing to get.
they're suffocating in the best way from just how tall and strong he is
he'll let you bury your face into his chest as his fingers run through your hair
he always smells so comforting; he smells like home
some of his hugs will be coupled with a kiss on the forehead
others will be coupled with a "you're alright, i've got you"
prosciutto:
he says he's not a hugger, but the fact that he indulges so often says otherwise
prosciu's hugs are tender; so impossibly calming, you could melt in his arms
he keeps a hand resting on your lower back, the other running through your hair
he smells like fancy wine, expensive cologne, and cigarettes
he rocks you back and forth, telling you how much he loves you and appreciates you
pesci:
although nervous about them, he's such a huge hugger
he's big, warm, and so fucking cozy
pesci truly gives some of the best hugs imaginable
he hugs you to make sure you know you're safe with him; he'd never let anything bad happen to you, and if something bad DID happen, he'd make sure it'll never happen again
his fuzzy coat is just a plus!! take advantage of it and nuzzle your face into it, he thinks it's adorable
formaggio:
he's a big hugger, and all of his hugs feel almost playful
he likes to jump out at you and tackle you to the floor, peppering your face with kisses as he tickles your sides
formaggio hugs you a lot for his own comfort
he likes to shrink you down when he hugs you - it's like he's trying to swallow you whole
he's always so warm and cozy, and you if you aren't standing up, you'll be able to fall asleep on him
illuso:
believe it or not, he's shockingly clingy.
yes, he's a giant, cocky asshole who thinks he's better than everybody else. no, he can't get enough of your touch. those concepts can coexist...................
he likes to pop out from behind dark corners and wrap his arms around you tightly
illuso will bury his face in your hair, mumbling what you can only assume are compliments that he's too embarrassed to say out loud
his hands press tight against your sides, thumbs rubbing small circles on your waist
melone:
he gives some of the most comforting, genuine feeling hugs
sure, he might seem a little creepy on the outside, but he can read you like a book
he'll come up from behind you and wrap his arms lazily around your neck
"come here, tesoro. i know you need it."
and he's right damn near every time
sometimes he'll give you a gentle kiss on the cheek before wandering elsewhere
other times, he'll drag you to the couch and force you to cuddle with him
ghiaccio:
he's not good at hugs; he gets nervous and then he stiffens up and freezes
ghiaccio gives you the biggest hugs when you come back home from rough missions, though
his arms wrap around you tightly, face buried in your neck as angry worries pour from his lips - he thought you were a goner
he's scared that you're going to disappear on him, but hugging you makes him feel better
he's nice to hug in the summer months when the heat's getting to you
he's always nice and chilly and if it's you asking, he's happy to oblige (but he'll never say it)
sorbet:
similar to risotto, sorbet's hugs feel like he's suffocating you
he's built like a fucking wall; tall, broad shoulders, wide chest, very muscular
his hugs are few and far between, but he always hugs you like he's trying to kill you
he likes when you're giggling over being stuck in his arms, playfully scratching him and begging him to let go
he gives you a tight squeeze before letting you go, ruffling your hair before wandering off
gelato:
he gives some of the most playful, gentle, warm hugs you could ask for - ironic for such a cold-hearted killer
he likes picking you up and spinning you around before pulling you into his chest
he'll tickle you side with one hand while the other arm stays wrapped around your body so you can't escape his torture
he also likes to bite :3 every hug comes with a little nip on your neck just to hear your squeal
he drags you to cuddle with him after every hug though - you're just sooooo cute and cozy, he can't help it
#my boys................................#my assassin polycule dare i say it#risotto nero#risotto nero x reader#prosciutto jjba#prosciutto x reader#pesci jjba#pesci x reader#formaggio jjba#formaggio x reader#illuso jjba#illuso x reader#melone jjba#melone x reader#ghiaccio jjba#ghiaccio x reader#sorbet jjba#sorbet x reader#gelato jjba#gelato x reader#sorbet and gelato x reader#sorbet x reader x gelato#jjba#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou no bouken#la squadra#la squadra esecuzioni#la squadra x reader
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Headcanons for how each yandere La Squadra member would care for a captive darling?
hi i haven't written for la squadra in... forever. have these. i got kind of lazy at the end, lmao, but i hope they are enjoyable nonetheless.
cw for generel yandere nastiness.
Risotto
Honestly, one of the best choices from this list if you're going be under the care of a yandere. Basic necessities are taken care of in the form of a nice apartment (you'll be locked down and completely isolated, of course) that always has a stocked fridge and pantry. He prefers that his darling be comfortable in the hopes that it will endear them to him.
Risotto is the type of yandere that prefers his darling to reciprocate his feelings, no matter how long it takes to get there. Hence: the nice apartment. His patience does have a limit, though.
If his darling upsets him enough, Risotto retaliates by making your living conditions worse and worse until you break and beg him for forgiveness.
Continued under the cut!
Formaggio
Forces his darling to live with him, whether they like it or not. You really have no choice when Little Feet is involved: either you come with him willingly or he uses his Stand to shrink you down.
His apartment isn't awful, but it's nothing great either. He lives like a bachelor and it shows. He's not a complete slob, at least. He'll keep the fridge stocked, though expect your options to be carelessly chosen by him.
If you upset him, he'll use Little Feet to shrink you down before he entraps you in a doll house. The more you scream at him, the more amused he gets. He's a shithead.
Not the best choice by any means, but not the worst.
Illuso
Man in the Mirror makes kidnapping his darling incredibly easy; he does it in his darling's own home, trapping them within the mirror world there. You'll be sequestered to the mirror world unless Illuso is home. It's an incredibly boring and isolating existence.
Even if you plead with him that you won't leave the house (and you won't, not if you can live in the real world again), Illuso won't let you out of the mirror world unless he's present.
Probably one of the worst yanderes to be stuck with; even if there are moments when he treats you tenderly, the loneliness is overwhelming.
Melone
Terrifying, to say the least. Every inch of your life will be invaded until Melone feels satisfied, and then he'll dig even further. He doesn't care to keep you captive because he can easily find you again - it's more fun for him to chase you down every time.
If he does need to keep you in one place, he simply kills a random homeowner that no one will miss and moves you into their now vacant home. Sure, Melone has an apartment, but that's his place. (Plus, it's filled with all sorts of things he doesn't want his darling to see.) A home is somewhere he can easily pretend that he's living in domestic bliss with his darling.
Not easily angered, no matter how much his darling tries to upset him. He's fairly easygoing most of the time.
Melone's darling will be taken care of in their basic needs, but otherwise... One of the worst yandere characters to end up with on this list.
Prosciutto
Up there with Risotto, as far as your environment goes. Similarly to his Capo, Prosciutto keeps his darling sequestered away in a relatively nice home. He does expect you to take immaculate care of the place when he's not there. He also expects you to keep living 'normally', like taking care of yourself (cooking, hygiene, etc.) and keeping up with your hobbies as long as they can be done inside.
He's not ever really in a good mood, but he's never really in a bad mood either. He truly embodies the grumpy old man stereotype, even without Grateful Dead there to actually make him one. Prosciutto prefers that his darling like him, so he will be engaging with them when he's at home.
Strict disciplinarian. Enough said.
Pesci
Awkward about it. Pesci didn't want to kidnap you, but Prosciutto insisted he had to; something about compromised safety that left Pesci terrified someone would put a hit on you. That's how he'll justify it to his darling; if he hadn't taken you somewhere safe, you could have been in trouble. That's not going to make up for taking you away from your friends & family, he knows, but he wants you to be grateful that he saved you.
Pretty timid, still, though if you press him enough he'll make you apologize until he believes you're truly sorry. Whether or not Beach Boy is involved depends on how much you upset him.
Ghiaccio
The apartment he keeps you in is high-end but sterile. There's little to do - he doesn't trust you enough yet to let you have your own things. Keeps it unreasonably cool in the apartment because he likes it when you're forced to come to him for warmth. . . only to find that it's even colder in his arms.
Sorbet & Gelato
The worst of the worst on this list. Your comfort? Not important to them. They'll keep you alive, but your living conditions might be less than ideal. They won't keep their darling in squalor - there's a reason you're still alive, after all. It's just that their idea of a home may include the still-dead body of its previous occupants...
#jojo's bizarre adventure#jjba.txt#la squadra#yandere la squadra#la squadra x reader#yandere la squadra x reader#risotto nero#formaggio#illuso#melone#prosciutto#pesci#ghiaccio#sorbet#gelato#yandere cw#just a general warning for nastiness. u know#yandere jjba#i wrote this while i was high
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la squadra as 'babe im at the hospital' texts 🏥












#BOO#la squadra#la squadra x reader#risotto nero#prosciutto#pesci#formaggio#illuso#melone#ghiaccio#gelato#sorbet#vento aureo
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Hello! Can you do headcanons for La Squadra (including Sorbet and Gelato if you’re able) trying a period pain simulator with their S/O or female teammate they’re either crushing on or friends with? I can imagine Risotto with the simulator attached to his abs keeping a blank, stoic face and when it gets to level 10, just one lone tear falls from his eye lol 😆
Masterlist here <3
This is so cute, I hope you enjoy shat I wrote and feel it was worth the wait!

La squadra try a period simulator
Risotto Nero
• When the simulator starts, he doesn’t even blink, calmly staring ahead like he’s meditating. You swear he might actually be meditating
• You crank it up to level 6, and he still sits there, arms crossed, occasionally asking questions like, “Is this supposed to hurt?” as if he’s genuinely curious
• At level 10, his breath hitches slightly, and you catch him gripping the chair just a little tighter. Then, without a word, a single tear escapes his eye and slides down his cheek. He still doesn’t say a thing
• After it’s over, he stands up, brushes himself off, and calmly tells you, “Let me know when you need me to pick up your painkillers.” He’s already adding them to his shopping list before you can respond
Prosciutto
• He starts off lecturing you about how he’s endured worse, talking about “the art of mental toughness” like he’s running a motivational seminar
• At level 3, his breathing grows shallow, but he pretends nothing’s wrong. At level 5, he stiffens and tries to brush it off with a strained, “It’s… manageable.”
• By level 7, his whole façade crumbles, and he’s gripping the edge of the table with both hands, muttering curses under his breath. He taps out at level 8, muttering, “This is ridiculous.”
• Later, he’s unusually sweet, bringing you your favorite snacks during your next period and grumbling, “You should’ve told me it was this bad.”
Pesci
• Pesci nervously agrees to try it, stammering, “Uh… sure, why not?” The moment the simulator starts, his eyes widen like he’s just been stabbed
• At level 3, he’s already squirming, grabbing his stomach and whining, “Is this normal? How do you deal with this?!”
• By level 5, he’s almost in tears and keeps asking if you’re messing with the settings. When it hits level 6, he yelps, “TURN IT OFF!” and rips the simulator off like it’s a venomous snake
• Afterward, he’s so apologetic, constantly asking how he can help you during your periods. He starts keeping chocolate in his pocket just in case
Formaggio
• Formaggio can’t stop laughing when the simulator is strapped on, teasing you with, “Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad.”
• At level 4, his cocky smirk falters as he mutters, “Okay, that’s… different.” At level 6, he’s leaning forward, clutching his stomach and swearing like a sailor
• When you crank it up to level 8, he dramatically flops onto the floor, groaning, “I’m dying! Call the boss! Tell him I loved him!”
• Once he’s recovered, he can’t stop laughing at himself but will quietly sneak a heating pad and snacks into your room the next time he knows you’re struggling
Illuso
• Illuso rolls his eyes and mutters, “Fine, I’ll do it, but only because I’m bored.” The simulator barely starts, and he’s already wincing, muttering, “This is stupid.”
• By level 5, he’s gripping his sides, growling, “This is some kind of torture device, isn’t it?” At level 6, he rips the device off, glaring at you. “Who even invented this?!”
• He spends the rest of the day grumbling about how unfair it is that anyone has to experience that, but later, he brings you a blanket and awkwardly mutters, “In case you need it or whatever.”
Melone
• Melone is way too excited to try it, peppering you with questions about your experience before it even starts. “Do you get sharp pains or dull ones? Both? Fascinating!”
• When the simulator starts, he tries to keep a cool demeanor but is already grimacing by level 4. By level 7, he’s gripping his stomach and groaning, “My beautiful insides!”
• At level 10, he’s dramatically slumped over, whining, “You poor, delicate creature! How do you live like this?”
• Later, he insists on designing a high-tech gadget to relieve your cramps. He won’t stop until he’s built something out of both love and guilt
Ghiaccio
• Ghiaccio is already ranting before the simulator is even turned on. “This is so dumb! Why do people keep inventing useless things like this?!”
• At level 3, he pauses mid-rant, his eyes widening. At level 5, he’s clutching his stomach and snapping, “WHY DOES THIS FEEL LIKE SOMEONE IS STABBING ME?!”
• By level 7, he’s rolling on the floor, yelling at no one in particular. “THIS MACHINE IS EVIL! TURN IT OFF!”
• Once it’s over, he storms off but later shows up with a bag of your favorite snacks, grumbling, “I still think this whole thing is stupid, but… whatever. Take it.”
Sorbet & Gelato
• Gelato immediately volunteers to go first, giggling, “This is gonna be fun!” He’s laughing at level 3 but starts squirming at level 5. By level 6, he’s doubled over, gasping, “It feels like my intestines are on fire!”
• Sorbet calmly takes the simulator next and makes it all the way to level 7 before quietly saying, “I’ve had enough.” He doesn’t even flinch as he takes it off. Gelato accuses him of cheating
• They both agree it’s insane that you deal with this regularly, and from then on, they tag team taking care of you—Gelato bringing snacks and Sorbet making sure you rest

Let me know of you’d like anything tweaked!
If you enjoyed this make sure to check out my other posts, and if you’d like anything specific written for a jjba character/squad you can request it if my requests are open!
#jjba scenarios#jjba scenario#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jjba#la squadra#jjba la squadra#la squadra x reader#risotto x reader#prosciutto x reader#pesci x reader#formaggio x reader#illuso x reader#melone x reader#ghiaccio x reader#sorbet and gelato x reader#la squadra scenario#la squadra scenarios
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Hi! I know it was awhile ago but I was the requester for the Bucci Gang w/ autistic s/o dhdbdbskd. I absolutely loved it!! Now dare I ask but do you maybe also have any headcanons for an autistic s/o but with La Squadra? I love them sm dhdhdjdkdn and I'd really appreciate it!! Especially with any comfort ideas you may have for it too! (as a possible bonus hehe) Love your writing and thanks again!!
Hi again!!1!11!!
I apologize for taking forever answering this one. I was working on a secret little project and forgot to clear out my inbox like I've been meaning to.
anyway i was super excited to start this one
(author's note: credits to gif owners, of course, i don't own them <3)
anyway (again)
Risotto
Risotto is very firm by nature. Or, at least, he is after you've met him.
When he finds out you're autistic, he might become a little more firm with you. He puts in place rules for you to follow that may seem a little unfair.
But it's dangerous, being associated with him.
It's not intentional, but he thinks of you as weaker than him. He feels a stronger urge to protect you than everyone else. Everyone else in the Execution Squad have Stands to defend themselves. You may not. He does not want you to be taken advantage of.
It may take a big argument to clear this up, because he's rather dense when things aren't being spelled out for him word for word. At least, in situations like these.
After that, though, he takes more time to observe you so he can note what makes you happy. So he's less likely to upset you in the future.
Ghiaccio
He's definitely a little autistic. I imagine him a little like Sheldon from Young Sheldon LMAO
No but seriously, he's quieter with you. You understand him in a way that's different from the way the others understand him. He still gets very agitated very quickly, but it's different with you.
The two of you can bond over your hatred for textures, too. Velvet or velcro feels like hellfire on your skin. (oops a little projection on my part)
He doesn't ever point any of his anger out on you. And if he even suspects that you might've been upset by his outbursts, he's quick to apologize.
The others make fun of him for it. They call him soft, like snow instead of ice. But he can't bring himself to care. Not when you're the only one on the team that could even begin to comprehend his thoughts.
Melone
Despite his...very obvious gooning, he is still a genius. He's observant, he's technical, and he probably knows you're autistic before you tell him.
He subtly prompts you to talk about your special interests, just so he can listen to you talk. Other than Ghiaccio, and maybe Pesci, he might be the most understanding, even though he's not autistic himself.
He definitely is a little neurodivergent himself, but he's not autistic.
It's not often that he gets you gifts for ur special interest, because he'd rather listen to you talk about it while he's working. It's like listening to a podcast while he works.
He eats all the food you can't eat easily. It's not like he minds.
Prosciutto
Mmmmmm, truthfully, you might get along with him the least.
He's a nitpicker. And, as an autistic myself, I know it's hard to differentiate between when he's just picking at our flaws, or when he's just saying things to say them.
He nitpicks to make you as perfect for him as what he believes he deserves. It's a weird complex.
Someone who's autistic has a harder time just brushing off his coddling and aggressive doting because he's all up in your face about it.
That isn't to say that you don't get along with him at all. He's rather sweet when he's not, y'know. He does things for you, he gets you gifts, all that fun stuff. It's just about the nitpicking that you two get into arguments about, really. Because he does like hearing you talk, and he does sweet things for you, too.
It's really just that one habit that you can't get over. It takes a lot to break him out of it, if you have the patience for that.
Formaggio
He's a great communicator boyfriend. He likes talking to you a lot, and listening to you in turn.
It's a pretty smooth ride into the relationship with the two of you. Since Formaggio is very open to talking out any of your issues calmly, rather than starting an argument, or avoiding a topic entirely until resentment starts to build.
You can appreciate his straight forward attitude on communication.
It doesn't take long for him to clock what your interests are because of his easy communication.
Out of all of the gang, he's the smoothest about how he goes about finding out how to get you gifts. He'll ask you to talk about your interests, which isn't out of the ordinary for him, while mentally noting which things you're more into, which ones you've expressed wanting more content for.
And, what do you know, figurines and books will appear in your room as if Santa came early.
Illuso
He doesn't exactly understand it, or why you act the way you do sometimes. But he likes you well enough, so he's willing to learn.
He takes the food you won't eat, he keeps the textures you don't like away from you. He memorizes what your reactions to things mean, how you stim, even.
Most of this is not intentional. He's just good at stuff like this. He's a very keen people watcher, which is why he's usually assigned to stake outs or kidnappings. (He's a stalker)
(Man in the Mirror makes it easy)
He mentions your interests off handedly, just because he likes to see you light up.
Pesci
(i hate this gif so much LMAO stop caressin him like that)
Similar to Formaggio, he's an excellent communicator. You're a lot nicer to him than his fratello, at least.
He enjoys your straightforward attitude and tendencies. It's a lot easier to understand than Prosciutto's aggressive corrections.
He might be a little dense, so he won't pick up on your autism for a long time. You might even have to tell him straight up that you're autistic because he won't piece it together himself.
But that's okay. He makes up for his density by being a sweetheart.
He also will take the food you don't want to eat. He's not picky.
He likes to learn about your interests so that he can have in depth conversations about them with you. If your interests are a little morbid, he may get a little squeamish, but he can deal with it, he assures you. He's a grown man. In the Mafia. He can handle something a little morbid, he's seen worse.
(he can't, but he tries to anyway)
Gelato and Sorbet
They're a package deal, because of course they are.
Gelato might not notice at first. Not like Sorbet does. Sorbet had actually graduated from university, with a bachelor's in psychology. So he definitely knows you're not neurotypical, at least.
They're both very open to your mannerisms, though. Neither of them are bothered by petty things like how you eat your food or what blankets you like more than others.
They're more than willing to accommodate for you. Changing one thing about their routine is a small price to pay to make sure you're comfortable with them.
Gelato is almost aggressive with how he'll defend you about what makes you comfortable, while Sorbet is a little more composed. But no less deranged, really.
Both of their first instincts is violence, in different ways.
-
good god this took me way longer than i wanted it to, but my life got way too complicated way too fast, so i was a little distracted. sorry for the wait!
#jojo kimyou na bouken#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba#jjba x reader#jjba la squadra#risotto nero#jjba ghiaccio#jjba melone#jjba formaggio#jjba illuso#jjba prosciutto#jjba pescie#jjba sorbet#jjba gelato#la squadra x reader
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Tomorrow is Halloween, so I'd like to see something themed about that, sorry that I'm asking for it only now! How about "Child Reader Celebrates Halloween with La Squadra"? Can we see Sorbet and Gelato too?
That's literally adorable!! I can't celebrate halloween this year because of the uni assignments so request like that just warms my heart😭
La Squadra x Child Reader Celebrating Halloween🎃
First of all I'm not sure that La Squadra will be a huge fan of Halloween
But for you? Everything
Although I believe some of them celebrated this holiday long before you joined them
*cough* Melone *cough* Formaggio
So what costume each of them would get??
I definitely see Melone in a doctor costume, not a sexualised version but more like a full equipped surgeon or smthn
Ghiaccio would wear a Frankenstein costume, I won't elaborate
Sorbet and Gelato are matching!! Definitely Bonnie and Clyde (they wear it like every year cuz they're to lazy to think of anything else)
Formaggio would wear something "embarrassing", as Illuso likes to call it. Like those weird alien costumes

Yeah, that one
Pesci adores Halloween so let me tell you his costumes are amazing!! I believe he's tailoring them himself
This year he chose a Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz
He begged Prosciutto to match with him but he declined :(
Pros is old schooled so he wears a God Father costume and calls it a day
Illuso is a vampire
And believe me, he spent a whole hour in front of the mirror to look fabulous
His costume is the second best (Pesci's still looks better)
Risotto is the laziest of them all
He just wears a Ghostface mask he bough a few years ago
But he still looks cool in it
Your costume is still the best!! Pesci spent a lot of time sewing it and he did an amazing job
So I'm not lying when I tell that you'll have the best costume in Italy
Risotto is the one who goes trick or treating with you
He takes a lot of photos of you to put them in his wallet afterwards (and some of them in the shared La Squadra's photo album)
You'll have the whole basket of candies in less than 40 minutes
You definitely should be proud of yourself
Unfortunately you won't be able to eat all of them in one sitting because of Prosciutto, I'm sorry😔
He just hides the basket on top of the fridge so you won't get them
Illuso still gets you them when no one's watching, so you'll be fine
La Squadra definitely won't go crazy with decorations, but a few carved pumpkins are still necessary
Sorbet and Gelato helped you to carve one of them
It was the neatest of them all
Be prepared for a horror movie night
Not the "Hereditary" type, but "The Nightmare Before Christmas" type
So yall spent solid 4 hours watching the Halloween classic
Formaggio tried to scare you a few times but got some dirty looks from the team
Of course he retrieved
You end up falling asleep on the couch
But don't worry, someone will carry you to your bed
#jjba x reader#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jojo bizarre adventure#la squadra x reader#la squadra esecuzioni#la squadra#la squadra di esecuzione#prosciutto x reader#illuso x reader#risotto nero x reader#formaggio x reader#melone x reader#sorlato x reader#la squadra jjba#sorbet x gelato#pesci x reader#ghiaccio x reader#child reader#jjba platonic#platonic#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo#jjba 5#jjba x you#jjba x y/n#halloween
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May I please ask for soulmate au with Sorlato with reader genuinely think their soulmates are ice cream please
masterlist
˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . i think you refer to "each others’ names on their wrist/palm/etc". also, this list is perfect if you want to see how many soulmate au exist. i hope you like it, dear anon (<3). ˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, 409 words.
throughout your life, you lived under the constant jokes from family, friends, and even strangers, about the name of your soulmates.
you lived in a world where, when you turned eighteen, the name of your future partner materialized out of nowhere on your wrists. nevertheless, the fact that it could appear more than one name in itself was already strange, unusual even; well, to that you had to add in your case the two curious words that appeared on your skin that day.
"sorbet" and "gelato", it should be an awful joke of fate, one that only sought to laugh at you because, honestly, you couldn't find another reason behind the random names of your supposed soulmates.
who can be called "sorbet" and "ice cream"? and on top of that the second one is in italian? damn, your non-existent luck.
there have always been smiles and laughter when the topic of names on your wrists came up. there wasn't even one damn occasion during your life when, when you told your situation, a laugh escaped those around you.
and, at the moment it did not seem that that was going to change. not when, in that godforsaken bar in naples, the two strangers with whom you were so pleasantly talking for much of the night, couldn't help but laugh when you showed them the brands.
what you didn't expect, much less did you imagine could happen authentically, was the exact moment in which your name came out from the blonde man's lips as if nothing had happened. you didn't even remember having given it to any of them, you didn't even remember knowing them at all, and as if nothing had happened, he spoke as if you were someone very important.
—excuse me, but how do you know my name?
—oh, honey.
with a smile, which you found curiously cute, he rolled up his khaki green shirt to his shoulder and calmly showed you his two wrists.
“sorbet” was written on the right, and… your name was on the left.
without being able to contain yourself, you raised your gaze quickly and observed both men carefully. you couldn't believe that one, you had finally found your soulmates, and two, that name didn't fit either of you.
—because of you i have suffered ridicule throughout my life...
your comment only earned more laughter from both men. on this occasion, the one with black hair extended his hand to you.
—i'm sorbet, it's nice to finally meet you,
—and i'm gelato!
#— thoughts.#— jjba.#i tried my best and i failed#sorbet jojo#sorbet jjba#sorbet x reader#jjba sorbet#gelato jojo#gelato jjba#gelato x reader#jjba gelato#sorbet and gelato#sorbet and gelato x reader#jjba x reader#jjba x y/n#jjba x yn#jjba x you#jojos x reader#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba part 5#jjba golden wind#— answered.
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No no no please tell us more about the la squadra swim team au. Science purposes of course
This has been sitting in my drafts for literal YEARS and I wanted to post it, originally was supposed to have all the members but I lost my ideas.
La Squadra x Reader; Swim Team AU
A/N: I'm so sorry for taking this long to answer but I wanted to take my time with this ask because I really do love this AU and I was busy. Thank you to my friends for some help (since most I know of swim teams is from fuckin Free! Iwatobi Swim Club LOL) Hehe science purposes huh 😏 Sorry there's no smut in this one but I wanted to rule out the setting for the AU!
You work at your local Passione Sporting Club, a place where many a professional athletes have trained to become who they are today. And while there are various sporting facilities available, you are in charge of taking care of a specific swim team, La Squadra. The formation of the team, as you learned when you first joined, happened several years ago as seven children banded together as friends to support each other's swimming careers. And you are happy to help them on their journey. As you know, there are 4 main styles of swimming; butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, and freestyle. Medleys usually take place in that order.
Sorbet & Gelato:
Not swimmers. They're actually coaches for the other swimmers who come to Passione Sporting Club. They've been here for 10 almost 20 years watching the rest of the group who now call themselves "La Squadra" grow athletically and professionally. They were previously in the national Italian swim team as medley racers respectively. They were most fond of relay races as they loved the team work shared between team mates when doing such a race. They only teach adult swimmers but it didn't stop them from noticing younger members of La Squadra practicing in the swimming pools. The passion they saw in some of the members let them know how far they would go. You, as the team's manager, have a good professional relationship with them. However, it doesn't stop Gelato from flirting with you sometimes, surprising you considering you know he has been with Sorbet for a long time. Even more surprising that Sorbet doesn't seem fazed and is receptive to the idea. They sometimes joke about teaching you to swim as well.
Sorbet first met Gelato when he joined the local swimming club of his childhood. They became fast friends and rivals, always trying to outrace each other. Sorbet had goals of reaching the Olympics since he was a child and with Gelato's support he made it together with him. His favorite style is the front crawl which he is most comfortable with. He's proudest win was a front crawl 100m competition where he got gold.
Gelato started swimming as a hobby. He never envisioned himself as an Olympic swimmer. But when he saw Sorbet's resolve to make it, he got inspired and made it his goal to reach the Olympics with his boyfriend. His favorite style is the breaststroke and his proudest win was the a 50m backstroke competition where he got silver since it's his weakest style.
Risotto:
When Risotto was a child living in Sicily, his cousin often went swimming in the sea with him which is where he first learned. Ever since then, he'd known what career he'd like to go to once he grows up. And so, he took a swimming scholarship to college and during his pre-teens he joined Passione Sporting Club to train for his future career. Everyone knows him as a backstroke master and you can see why when you notice his immaculate back muscles during training. While he's good at the other styles, he's much faster using the backstroke. His proudest moment was winning a national competition of 100m men's backstroke where he won gold. You know he was one of the original members of "La Squadra" the other two being Formaggio and Prosciutto when those three decided to start the club. He's the most cooperative with you when it comes to competitions. As the manager, one of your duties is to rule out social and athletic events that the members will attend and he's always receptive to the competitions you tell him will be good for his career. He's not the most communicative so you have to weed out some of thoughts and feelings on the matter. Because of your friendly nature, you two share a close bond as you help him train and often see him swim way past closing. It's a secret between you two that you cherish deeply. There have been some times where he offered you to swim with him.
Risotto favors free style swimming the most but his muscle development on his upper body has made him a good breaststroke user which makes him much faster than the front crawl
Out of all competitions, he loves swimming medley relays the most. He gathers the medley participants (usually other la squadra members) to give a motivating speech and cheers the loudest when he's not swimming with them. He may not show it, but he is highly competitive and likes being challenged in the pool.
Prosciutto:
As one of the founding members of the original team, Prosciutto regards La Squadra with lots of pride. As a child he had no passion for swimming but after joining the Passione Sporting Club with a mild interest, he was quickly swept away into practice. He realized as a child that swimming allowed him a way to focus his energy and determination. He's not one to half-ass anything and swimming was no different. Eventually, he started feeling a connection to swimming after exercising out all his stress through the activity and finding a love for the activity like no other. Members like Risotto and Formaggio were inspiring to him even if he didn't admit it verbally, he showed up to practice with the two everyday, determined to be like them. He's one of the more difficult members to get along with. At first, it seems he has almost nothing to tell you except talk about his career goals and about helping other team members (namely Pesci). But eventually, your conversations turned more casual and you got to see a side of him that is much more friendly. Sometimes, he would smile towards you from the pool and you noticed that he doesn't ever miss the opportunity to show you his gratitude as their manager. Communicating that it's a difficult job and that he's glad a person like you is able to keep track of all the members and how much he appreciates your organization. You can't lie that his words are some of the only things that makes the job worth it.
Prosciutto is the only member with no preference towards style. While he was developing his swimming skills, he decided to pay hone each style so he would not be lacking in any area. While that doesn't make him a specialist, it gives him more options in competitions.
He rather enjoys individual competitions and loves competing against the other members. Whenever Formaggio dares him for a casual friendly race, he never backs down, treating it as a real race. The other members get a kick out of him taking everything a bit too seriously.
Pesci:
Swimming is as easy to him as breathing. Growing up with a fishing family by the sea, Pesci was accustomed to swimming from an extremely early age. It was sheer passion of swimming among the fish that kept him going but it was largely a hobby. He joined Passione Sporting Club as a teen, to keep up his swimming skills during high school but quickly met Prosciutto who inspired him to no end. Prosciutto once praised his style and speed saying he could make it to the nationals if he tried, maybe even the Olympics and from that moment he decided to join La Squadra and make both himself and the team proud. He's the most amicable out of anyone else in the team and since the moment you two met you'd become easy friends. At first he was a bit shy to talk to you but he caught your eye a couple of times during swim practices and it made his heart soar just a little every time you waved with a smile. Eventually, that got him talking to you and you noticed he started being more specific about his goals and ambitions for his swimming career. You quickly picked up the potential that Prosciutto always talked about regarding Pesci, truly, he was a gifted swimmer but his hard work pays off the most.
Pesci loves the butterfly stroke above all else. It's the first stroke he learned from a family member and honed his skills until it became his strongest. It gave him the biceps that he now shows off sometimes. He's pretty agile with the stroke as well but he doesn't cower from competing in other styles.
Pesci is another member who loves team sports and gets the most excited for medley relays with his team. Prosciutto and Risotto motivate him the most before the races and he's always the first to arrive out of excitement of having the team together. But most of all, he loves to hang out together with the team to celebrate afterwards.
#la squadra x reader#prosciutto x reader#pesci x reader#sorbet x gelato#gelato x reader#sorbet x reader#prosciutto#pesci#sorbet#gelato#sid writes#hcs#answered#anonymous#fluff#risotto x reader#risotto#risotto nero
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May I please for a scenario or headcanons for poly La Squadra including Sorlato with fem darling who knows about their interest towards her and her saying this:
"I know your interest in me, and I'm willing to return those feelings if you let me continue working in my doll shop and you guys work there. Also, I know your original paychecks sucks, so we all get what we want."
Cool, extra hands to help out? Seems like a good bargain, on the surface, there’s no take backs once you say “yes” and being Yandere they will test their dearests mettle to the limits.
Yandere! La Squadra w/ doll shop owner darling
So whether you repair, sell, make dolls, they’re all ready to help. Which depending on the options could be quite chaotic. There will be times they absolutely make you uncomfortable.
Formaggio probably makes comments of how this is rather a bit girly for him and he’d rather just hang around you, Illuso makes a jab at his statement in which these two have a little back and forth. They don’t really end up fighting but there’s a little intensity you can feel.
He then keeps coming up to you for the smallest of tasks or takes forever on certain bits that should be child’s play. It’s absolutely on purpose and almost impossible to get him off your back.
He also mentions you’re so sweet for paying them. That it’s a good thing that he’s there with the others, otherwise you could get taken advantage of. He’s only allowed to do that, and you can feel the irony of his statement thick in the air.
Sewing/clothing repair is interestingly enough right up Pesci’s alley. He’s worked with fishing line and other thin wires so learning isn’t hard when you teach him. Which you likely praise him for how quickly he’s picked things up.
If you compliment him he gets rather shaky, you swear you see some blush to his cheeks, and Prosciutto scolds him to at least try and keep his composure. His heart flys to the moon if you think his nervousness is cute.
Prosciutto is sort of beaming with pride, but at the same time insists having some time with you himself. There might be a lingering amount of jealousy he had for Pesci’s praise coming from you, but he puts that aside and decides he needs to step up his game.
He gets all professional with you and staring at your stitch work, he’ll immediately help you with any snag/mistake you might’ve made. There’s a point he might even guide your own hands if he sees the need.
He absolutely makes sure you can feel him beside you, and is memorizing every type of fabric you use, the measurements, and accessories. Is he much too close to one side of your ear? That’s a yes. He’ll even tell you it’s absolutely necessary, somehow batting off your concerns as if they’re excuses.
Sorbet and Gelato are an interesting pair that love keeping each other company whenever they can dip out. It feels like they’re unproductive in their work, but by the time you’re closing every little thing you asked them to do is done. It seems they’re rather great at keeping your dolls clean honestly. This does come at a personal cost, if no one else is cornering you Sorbet and Gelato will absolutely be there. Gelato seems to recommend certain dolls be rearranged in a certain way. A couple of them are plucked and the money is all in the register. Sorbet on the other hand seems to be great at seeing which ones have massive value if you received a donation or sale. Telling you them to lock them behind glass, the two of them seem to joke about locking you beind a cute glass display. The way they say it seemingly romantically doesn’t feel like a joke however.
Melone does very well with making sure all of your money is accounted for, somehow he knows all your expenses and other things he probably shouldn’t know about you.
If you’re working in the back and he comes into help with a little dusting or cleaning. He will make pretty suggestive comments about you, and suggests some of the outfits the dolls have would be adorable. If you distract him with something such as horoscopes, he immediately explains every little thing about each sign. How you two positively match and were meant to be. Can end up being rather overwhelming.
He does end up having good suggestions on what people seem to gravitate towards. Which of course he tells you this in great detail.
No matter what job he’s put in he almost always manages to be creepy someway, so you’re likely to have him somewhere out of sight out of mind. He doesn’t consider this a punishment in the slightest, and will certainly take advantage with flirting with you behind the scenes. Having him in front of customers is a big no-no however.
Ghiaccio is another handful of his own, he gets sets off pretty easily so you have to figure out a decent way for him to work on something. He does tend to grab your hand occasionally and gently pull you over to him without warning. (Except around risotto).
He does get very agitated if a customer tries to disrespect you. They may not ever come back if he gets their hands on them.
Insists on having you within his eyesight almost constantly, or at least having you around with whatever task you’re having him do.
You do have to coach him out of his jealousy rages or getting aggravated at another member occasionally. Usually you end up making him some type of tea, he indeed relishes this.
Illuso is likely to be the best at being at the front (aside from yourself or prosciutto). He rather enjoys that you don’t mind him “hogging” the position. It gives him an easy way to be almost constantly in your presence.
He’s thorough on whatever you task him with, he wouldn’t be an assassin if he wasn’t capable after all. He’s so thorough he takes advantage and insists to help you himself. Does his best to make you flustered at any given point in the day.
He definitely stalks you and will chillingly mention a show you liked on tv the night before. Unironically engaging in said show’s contents, all while reveling in your conflicting expressions. He’ll fluster you even more if given the chance, up to the point he’s pulled away to do something else.
Risotto is his another enigma with his obsessiveness, he insists on doing everything during closing hours. Taking inventory/stocking, some of your business side paperwork is done even though you didn’t ask him to. He seems normal on the outside but there’s this aura about him that inwardly sets you off. Like he never wants you to leave his sight.
Any troublesome things occurring outside your business (and your home if it’s not right by) cease. He absolutely follows you home every night and early morning when possible. You’ll never see him however, he makes sure of that. He keeps his team in line when need be, but ironically that means you as well.
He wants you comfortable but he’s not afraid of going right to the edge of insanity to keep you around. He’ll certainly coordinate with other members of the team. He considers your “yes” a contract of approval and will do what he sees fit to keep you around. If that means going to the lengths of threatening others so be it. But he and the others already agreed upon this regardless of how you felt about them.
There are dozens of times he just seems to pop out of nowhere on you. He doesn’t seem to have issue with this in the slightest, if you need your hand held from nearly having a heart attack he’s there to oblige.
Just before he goes out on a mission, he always leaves a favorite food of yours (packaged preferably) on your desk.
If you wonder how he got in without giving him with a key, he likely used Metallica to figure out the shape of the keyhole of your locks.
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere jjba#yandere imagines#yandere jjba imagines#yandere jjba x reader#yandere headcanons#yandere formaggio#yandere prosciutto#yandere illuso#yandere pesci#yandere ghiaccio#yandere sorbet and gelato#yandere risotto nero#yandere risotto#yandere melone#Yandere formaggio
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sorry i don’t have any concrete thoughts for this request, I just really wanna kiss & lovingly dote on your monster au ls boys, is that ok to ask for hc’s on?
Risotto is the most difficult one to love on, given the fact that his natural form is literally incorporeal and made of darkness.
He tends to shy away from it, thinking there’s an ulterior motive behind it. It takes a while for him to get used to, but he’s like (literal) putty in your hands when he’s comfortable. He sort of…melts when he’s very relaxed, his body turning into a thick black puddle. A very goopy boy
Even though he loves getting attention from you, he feels like he doesn’t deserve it. You’re a sweet, precious little human, your tragically short time on this earth is better spent elsewhere.

Ghiaccio is also difficult to love on due to his enormous size.
His favorite thing to do is put his head in your lap and have you stroke his horns and pet his scaly head.
You can only pet him for so long before your hands start to freeze
He loves it when you clean his scales or help him shed. It makes him feel less vulnerable but also very clean
Having you tucked under his wings makes him feel like your protector
Keeps a blanket in his cave so the two of you can cuddle for longer without needing to take breaks to warm back up

Melone is one that’s more accepting of your love. He loves to coil around you and have you fight for leverage.
It’s only when you stop humoring him does he completely give in to you. He’ll stretch out to his full length, resting his human half in your lap while his tail lazily wraps around your middle. When he’s feeling very vulnerable, he’ll sit in your lap and loop his arms around your neck, letting you play with his hair and rub his chest and back.
Most of the time it’s a power struggle of you wanting to dote into him and him wanting to love all over you. All of your kisses are quickly returned, so the best way to one-up him is to either steal kisses from him or to do a sneak attack flurry of kisses and subdue him so he can’t move.

Prosciutto has probably already cocooned you up so he can hold you with three arms and read his book with the other, so you’ll be hard pressed to dote on him.
You’ll have to fight through his webs or preemptively protect yourself from being webbed up.
Squeeze him tight in your arms and pet the back of his head and he’ll fall asleep. It reminds him of his days as a spiderling in his egg, snug and safe in his shell. All of his eyes roll back into his head and he clicks and purrs softly.
He’ll try to kiss you but you’ll need to fend him off incase he tries to take control back and dote on you. Peppering kisses over his six eyelids makes him blush for some unknown reason.
Pesci is the most fantastic to love and dote on.
He loves to cuddle in his sealskin and be engulfed by your affection.
He’ll chirp and coo in your arms, nuzzling your face and neck
Very soft and warm
One of his favorite things is when you bundle up with his sealskin
He thinks you look adorable in it
Illuso likes to press kisses the the glass of the mirror but blushes intensely when you do the same.
It's embarrassing to him when you keep a little pocket mirror with you to stare at lovingly.
It might seem insignificant, but little acts like cleaning his mirror really make him happy
Occasionally lets you play with his hair
Formaggio…..floof…. It’s hard to not fall asleep in his big fluffy orange coat.
He loves it when you scratch his fluffy ears or rub his belly, it makes his tongue loll out of the side of his mouth
Absolutely plops his head in your lap when he wants pets
Very good at doing puppy dog eyes at you to get your attention
Often, you two will curl up in front of the fireplace, your head on his side while he curls around you affectionately.
With Sorbet and Gelato, you’d better ration your love carefully. Gelato likes to be the center of attention, but that doesn’t mean sorbet doesn’t want kisses too.
They like to pester you gently in their small faerie forms, floating around you and pulling at your ears, clothes, etc.
Sorbet likes to perch on your shoulder, while Gelato prefers to sit on top of your head
If you manage to catch one of them, you can pepper kisses to them without much resistance. Gelato might try to stab you, though
The three of you spend most of your time in their little faerie castle, bundled up in small scraps of cloth
#monster au#la squadra di esecuzione#risotto nero#ghiaccio#melone#prosciutto#pesci#illuso#formaggio#sorbet and gelato#la squadra x reader#risotto nero x reader#ghiaccio x reader#melone x reader#prosciutto x reader#pesci x reader#illuso x reader#formaggio x reader#sorlato x reader
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was having some discussions with a friend and...realising I haven't done any proper roleplaying in a while. So...I was thinking about maybe looking for people who'd be willing to potentially RP this current hyperfixation (La Squadra) with me, and then the idea evolved into getting together a small group of La Squadra RPers, each with a designated character, to all, yknow, hangout and rp together.
Some issues/things about that, though:
given that I (and my semi-interested friend who hasn't decided if he wants to take part or not) am a minor, I would likely make this an under 18 only group, or at least a strictly SFW group (beyond like...jokes or suggestions ig)
Only canon characters allowed - I think allowing OCs to be RPed would get too complicated or messy unfortunately
Shipping is a....maybe? with a group of about 7-9 people there's the issue of shipping views clashing or something. It would have to be discussed after a hypothetical group is put together.
Depending on the demand, it may have to be "first come, first serve" as to who gets to be which character. I kinda hope the demand is decently small because of this - i would hate for people to feel left out but i don't think I could handle too many people.
Given my technical limitations or whatever(?) the group chat would be on Discord
again, depending on the demand, it could either be just the post-ice-cream-whores team or Sorbet and Gelato can be included!
Despite all this....it's worth it to see the demand before making any real decisions.
#la squadra#jjba x reader#jjba#jojo's bizzare adventure oc#ghiaccio#melone#formaggio#illuso#pesci#prosciutto#risotto#sorbet#gelato#lil nervous about this but the RPer inside me HUNGERS
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Can you make one where it's La Squadra reacting to the reader having a freaky looking moving doll stand?
Masterlist here <3
HELLO omg I love this so much! I seriously enjoyed writing this sooo soso much I hope you enjoy, also you might find that this post differs a bit in writing style, but I got a bit carried away I guess and made it silly, I hope you enjoy nonetheless and if you’d like anything changed you can always message me!

La squadra reacts to reader having a creepy looking doll stand

Let’s say your Stand is a small, doll-like creature with jerky, unnatural movements—like something that crawled out of a cursed VHS tape. It has glassy, unblinking eyes and twitchy little limbs, like it’s about to start speaking in tongues. Oh, and it moves on its own. Not normal Stand movements. No, it skitters
Risotto Nero
At first, he doesn’t react—Risotto is, of course, a stoic wall of a man. But the second he sees your freaky little Stand shuffle into the room like chucky, his eyes narrow
“…Explain.”
It’s not fear—oh no. It’s suspicion. He immediately assumes you’ve been hiding this thing deliberately to mess with him. And when it starts crawling UP THE WALL, he just deadpans:
“Kill it.”
Risotto will try to put it out of its misery (or his own) if it gets within five feet of him
Prosciutto
Prosciutto prides himself on being cool, collected, and mature. But the minute your Stand skitters across the table like a spider in a cheap haunted house, he lets out the most undignified noise you’ve ever heard
“Che cazzo è quello?!”
Suddenly, Mr. Cool Guy has his legs tucked up onto the chair, scowling at your Stand like it insulted his family. He points an accusatory finger at you
“Why does it move like that? Fix it.”
When you explain that it’s supposed to move like that, he just mutters, “You need better taste in Stands.”
Pesci
Poor Pesci. Your Stand exists, and that’s already too much for him to handle. He sees it for half a second, shrieks like he’s in a slasher movie, and nearly falls backwards out of his chair
“Why is it looking at me?!”
You assure him it’s harmless. The Stand then proceeds to tilt its head unnaturally far to the left, and Pesci just bolts
You now have to chase him down to tell him it won’t eat him. Pesci will not recover from this for days
Melone
Melone is fascinated. Absolutely enamored. He gets way too close, watching it twitch and crawl with genuine delight
“Incredible. Its movement is so unnatural! What do its abilities do? Does it make people uncomfortable on purpose? That’s brilliant.”
He will follow you around for the rest of the day asking a million questions, mostly things like, “Does it talk? Can I touch it? What happens if I poke it in the eye?”
Please do not let Melone near it. He will absolutely try to run experiments
Ghiaccio
“WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!”
Ghiaccio’s reaction is instantaneous and LOUD. He jumps out of his seat and starts pacing around the room, ranting at 200 miles an hour
“It’s crawling on the goddamn ceiling! WHY IS IT CRAWLING ON THE CEILING?!”
You try to explain, but Ghiaccio is too busy actively losing his mind. He points aggressively at your Stand
“I don’t care if it’s yours—it’s freaky as hell, and if it comes near me, I’m icing it.”
(He spends the next hour side-eyeing it and muttering under his breath.)
Formaggio
Formaggio is laughing so hard he’s crying. He LOVES your creepy little Stand
“This is the best thing I’ve seen all week. Look at this guy!”
He starts trying to play with it like it’s a toy, sticking his finger out to see what it’ll do. When it grabs onto him (with its weird little twitchy doll hand), he screams
But then he laughs even harder. “Oh my god, it’s even freakier up close. I love this little guy.”
Formaggio now calls it “the homie” and tells everyone it’s his new best friend
Illuso
Illuso’s all smug and dismissive about it at first
“Tch. It’s just a Stand. Nothing impressive.”
And then it turns its glassy head to look directly at him
Illuso freezes. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t have something snarky to say. He just stares at your Stand, and your Stand stares back
“Stop looking at me.”
It doesn’t stop
“STOP LOOKING AT ME.”
Illuso will insist he’s not freaked out, but he is visibly uncomfortable. He avoids eye contact with your Stand for the rest of eternity
Sorbet and Gelato
(This is the first time I write for them so I’m sorry if it’s not accurate)
Sorbet and Gelato are thrilled. They think your Stand is the funniest, most unsettling thing they’ve ever seen, and they are here for it
Gelato keeps trying to make it dance by waving his hands in front of it. Sorbet bets him 50 bucks that he can’t make it do the worm
They’re both crying-laughing when it skitters sideways like a crab
“This thing’s a menace. I love it.”

I hope you enjoyed this cause I definitely enjoyed writing it!
If you enjoyed this make sure to check out my other posts, and if you’d like anything specific written for a jjba character/squad you can request it if my requests are open!
#jjba scenarios#jjba scenario#jjba#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#la squadra#la squadra x reader#risotto nero#risotto x reader#prosciutto#prosciutto x reader#pesci#pesci x reader#jjba melone#melone x reader#ghiaccio#ghiaccio x reader#formaggio#formaggio x reader#illuso#illuso x reader#jjba sorbet and gelato x reader#jjba la squadra#la squadra scenarios
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I know la squadra's shared s/o is kept a secret within Passione for their safety, but one day some lower member caught them with the group or one of them.
This lead to them getting kidnapped for revenge or flirting with them cause they're all jealous on how the most despised team in Passione get to share a s/o
— RAE'S NOTE; oh my lord (👁👁). i like the angst this one could lead to...
this couldn't be happening. no, please, it had to be a joke, a very bad one.
the scene in what was once a quiet space that served as a lounge for the renowned, and disowned, group of hit men known as la squadra di esecuzione, had turned into a real disaster.
however, the disaster was not obvious at first glance, it really wasn't at all.
the room, illuminated only by a few lighted lamps, was dead; the most terrifying silence ruled it completely. all the members, nine men that each one oftheir own made anyone terrify, sunk in the gloomiest of deadly silences.
on the center table, a glass table not very high, was full of various photos. polaroid images taken over several days, weeks and even months, which were mainly focused on a single person.
—what are we going to do…?
pesci asked uncertainly, his green orbs falling mainly on the two most authority figures in the room; mainly in his fratello prosciutto and then in that of the head of the group, risotto nero. noth men's faces with an expression of complete seriousness.
—isn't it obvious?
ghiaccio, who –surprising coming from him– was calm, began to speak. although everyone knew that right now, both he and the rest were a time bomb which, each with their respective remaining time, was about to explode.
the scenario was simple, as simple as it was unnerving for the nine men. it seems that during the last few months someone has intercepted them along with a certain someone, someone they wanted out of their world as much as possible; however, life is never the way you want it to be, much less in their field of work.
someone seemed to have seen them, on multiple occasions, with that one person, which led to what none of them wanted to happen.
—they've been kidnapped…
the murmur of disbelief that came from formaggio's lips revealed how complicated the situation was. and it's that, if the photos of them didn't deceive -which they surely did not-, someone had kidnapped them and kept them locked up in who knows where.
a soft, but efficient blow was given in the table, leading the men present there to startle before directing each and every one of their glances to whoever hit the table with his clenched fist.
—melone and ghiaccio, find the ip of all their devices plus check the security cameras close by. formaggio and illuso, both to their apartment to see if there's any possible trace we can follow. prosciutto, pesci, sorbet and gelato try to find out who the kidnappers might have been.
as always, the voice of reason in the group spoke loud and clear. risotto's bloodshot eyes locked on his companions one by one as their names escaped his lips, making it clear to them what they had to do.
—we're going to find them and make whoever kidnapped them suffer until their last breath.
#— answered.#— jjba.#jjba x reader#la squadra x reader#la squadra#la squadra di esecuzione#la squadra di esecuzione x reader#risotto nero x reader#risotto x reader#prosciutto x reader#pesci x reader#ghiaccio x reader#melone x reader#illuso x reader#formaggio x reader#gelato x reader#sorbet x reader#risotto nero jjba#risotto jjba#prosciutto jjba#pesci jjba#ghiaccio jjba#melone jjba#illuso jjba#formaggio jjba#gelato jjba#sorbet jjba#la squadra jjba#golden wind x reader#vento aureo x reader
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Sleeping habits and headcanons…La Squadra edition (x reader)

Dating/married depending on character
Content: smoking, drinking, overall pretty fluffy but Prosciutto is kinda a jerk, includes most of La Squadra (-Sorbet and Gelato)
Formaggio: He kinda just does whatever he wants in the evenings, as long as it’s fun or relaxing. If he decides to go out, you’ve gotten used to him coming back early in the morning (think 1-2 a.m. when the bars usually close) and just collapses next to you in bed, passing out pretty much immediately like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
Don’t bother trying to wake him up to make him change into something more comfortable, he’s completely out. And he snores loud too.
If he stays in, he likes spending some quality time with you. But nothing too emotionally engaging, something like turning on a movie and cuddling on the couch, or enjoying a drink with you before turning in for the night.
He’s a bit clingy when he shares a bed with you, an arm around your waist and his face against the back of your neck. It’s just because it’s most comfortable for him to use you as a pillow, but it feels kinda romantic sometimes.
He doesn’t wake up at any particular time, sometimes a reasonable hour, sometimes sleeping well into the morning. If he wants to keep sleeping and you try to wake him up, he’ll get a bit grumpy with you and just shoo you away until he’s ready to get up.
Illuso: Has a whole nighttime routine for his hair and skin, and he’s particular about it, so don’t interrupt him or he’ll get annoyed.
It doesn’t take him too long, and it’s kinda amusing to see how much effort he puts into his appearance but then sleeps with little elegance. He sleeps with a sleep mask, and tends to be a blanket hog, also particular about the room he’s sleeping in too. Despite using a sleep mask he’s insistent on the room being completely dark, and he’ll complain if he thinks you’re moving around too much. At least when he’s out he’s a pretty heavy sleeper.
He sleeps in, and wakes up slowly. If you try to talk to him when he first wakes up you’ll just get some incomprehensible mumbling in reply.
Prosciutto: He smokes a lot, smokes to wind down in the evening too. You’ve had to tell him “don’t do that in the bedroom, darling,” more times than you can count. You don’t really think there needs to be a compromise…he should just go outside…but you know it’s not worth arguing with him. Fine. He can just open the bedroom window. You’ve gotten used to it by now.
You regret giving him a shoulder massage one evening early in your marriage when you thought he seemed a little tense. Now he expects it every night, and will get a bit annoyed with you if you don’t do it.
For how much of a hardened gangster he was, he sure was needy when it was just you and him alone.
He’s not really cuddly, and typically only tolerates it when he initiates. If you really want some physical contact, then he’ll let you snuggle against his chest, and that’s only sometimes.
He naturally wakes up early, around 5:30ish, and makes you wake up when he does because he’s just the WORST ugh.
Pesci: He goes to bed so much earlier than the others, Prosciutto makes fun of him for it but who’s laughing when Pesci is the only member of the team with any energy left in the evening?
He’ll go to bed without you if you stay up late, and when you do join him he’s a fairly heavy sleeper, so you usually don’t accidentally wake him up.
He moves around a lot in his sleep, you tend to get nudged during the night.
You get used to it, eventually. And it’s okay because he wakes up earlier than you so you get some guaranteed peace in the morning.
He’s aware of when you typically wake up, so if you drink coffee he’ll have one ready for you before you climb out of bed.
Melone: You imagine he’d stay up all night if you weren’t there to encourage him to go to sleep. He goes to bed when you do. Because he loves you Soooo much and is Very clingy so all of his wind down time is spent within your vicinity if you happen to be home at the same time as him. He’s usually staring at screens, typing away on his computer doing who knows what. If he’s not being super touchy and cuddly with you, he likes just existing in your presence, you doing your thing while he does his.
He has a bit of a nighttime routine, skincare specifically, but mostly he just likes watching you go through your routine.
He is super clingy in the bed with you, his hands slipping under your shirt so he can feel your skin, and his legs wrapped around yours. You can barely move once Melone starts snuggling you, but you’re used to it at this point.
A pretty light sleeper, if you get up in the middle of the night for any reason he’ll probably wake up too.
He wakes up in the morning when you wake up. If you choose to sleep in, even if he wakes up he’ll stay in bed with you until you’re ready to start the day. If you ask him he’ll get up and make you a coffee.
Ghiaccio: It doesn’t matter what time he goes to bed at, because his alarm is always set to go off at an ungodly hour.
It drives you crazy to hear that beeping at like 3:30 in the morning, but he really needs his alone time in the morning so you just let it be. He turns it off and disappears in just a few minutes, and by the time you wake up he’s usually back from whatever he had left the apartment to do.
He’s on edge most of the time, so he has a hard time winding down at night. There’s a decent chance that spending time even with you might frustrate him, so before bed he gets some exercise and then takes a shower while you get ready for bed separately.
Unless you have something you need to discuss with him you both tend to keep to yourselves in the evening. He doesn’t cuddle, and his body runs cold, so you tend to scoot closer to him only when you’re feeling warm at night.
He twitches and yells in his sleep sometimes. You’ve gotten used to it to an extent, but occasionally you can’t take it and have to wake him up.
Risotto Nero: He’s so quiet and still when he sleeps that sometimes it’s like he’s not even in the bed anymore. He’s so light a sleeper that he wakes up immediately whenever you stir in any way. He asks you why you’re touching his arm, but you were just seeing if he was still with you.
He’s not cuddly at night. If you really want to cling to him he won’t object, but it does make sleeping a bit harder for him.
He doesn’t need a lot of sleep. He gets up really early in the morning, always careful to not disturb you, and immediately gets to work; managing an assassination squad requires a lot of his attention.
You tell him he really should get more sleep, but he’s so used to his routine that it would be difficult to change at this point. He appreciates the concern, but really, he’s fine.
#thus wrote Mrs Zeppeli#jjba x reader#jojos bizarre adventure x reader#la squadra x reader#formaggio x reader#illuso x reader#prosciutto x reader#pesci x reader#melone x reader#ghiaccio x reader#risotto nero x reader
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Hi! How about a hcs with a gender neutral reader that gets turned into a cat temporarily by a stand, how would la squadra react?
Have a nice day :>
Sure! I’ll go character by character on this one
Yandere! La Squadra w/ gn! Darling turned into a cat by a stand
Risotto - *bat bat bat* He hears the soft sound of something messing around with his hat (he takes it off every so often aside from showers and sleeping). There’s immediate suspicion as he goes to investigate, finding a cat rather than you mesmerized by the golden baubles that spelled his name. Doesn’t take long for the leader himself to put two and two together that you are the cat. Considering he makes sure you won’t escape whatsoever any other time.
It’s hard to tell but his eyes soften slightly from amusement of cat you playing with his hat. He’ll likely pick you up, expression hardening at a potential stand user looming around. He’ll immediately order the rest of the group to be on high alert and track down the user. As cute as you were in cat form, he was not amused by this little trick no matter how harmless it seemed.
Formaggio - manages to squeeze a crude joke, makes a casual comment of how cute you were like that. How he’d love to spend time with you being like that more, while scratching under your chin. He observes if your full on cat, which seems to be the case. Doesn’t mean he won’t be constantly bringing up how willingly you allowed him to pet you, when you revert back later.
Illuso - Amused you were turned into a cat of all things, he’d love to have alone time with you in his mirror world without disturbance. Just an hour or two of holding you close to him. He wouldn’t lie he would have extra satisfaction of bashing the stand users face in from turning you into a cat. Though before that he snaps a picture with a camera of you in cat form for later usage.
Melone - coos and fawns over you the second he sets eyes on you. Even in cat form you seem to be fairly stiff around him, and he absolutely notes every behavior like a decent scientist would. Light touches and pets down the back, and he doesn’t flinch if you decide to try and scratch. You can be certain he’ll be calling you kitten or similar cat nicknames when you revert. Not to mention maybe receiving cat related clothing or other items.
Ghiaccio - In typical fashion he’s more irate that somehow someone got passed them enough to do something to you. He might pet you a bit while ranting how he’s likely going to freeze the user solid if he narrows down where they are. He does think you’re cute in all honesty, he’s simply pissed a slip up on his part or his team caused this headache. The scene is mildly amusing as he continues his rant and pets your soft fur. He’ll likely mention how cute you were with a smirk when he calms down and you’re back to normal.
Prosciutto - As obnoxious as Ghiaccio’s yelling could be, he’s also aggravated at this massive oversight. He definitely ends up approaching to pet you, knowing full well he’ll have to take care of any fur that gets on his suit later. He notes the color of your eyes in cat formed more observationally than anything. Coaxes you to come closer, while side eyeing Pesci who seems giddy at you being a cat. It’s cute but he wants you in human form back as a soon as possible.
Pesci - He’s pretty much over the moon upon seeing you, but trying to keep it to a lower level so he doesn’t end up being poked fun at. Or alternatively being slightly reprimanded by Prosciutto for losing composure when an enemy could be in the vicinity. He has all sorts of thoughts of using one of those mouse toys with you. The man’s pretty much squeaking internally at how cute you were all while giving you some nice head pats. Though he would diligently help eliminate the perpetrator when it came down to it.
Sorbet and Gelato - both of them are pretty fond of the attitude of cats, and they both laugh that you were turned into one of all things. They’ll likely make fun of the user for such a ridiculous strategy, even if they’re nowhere near around. All taking turns holding you, noting how helpless you were not that it made a difference being human either. They both figure out where you like being pet almost immediately, and of course maybe weaponize it against you later like some of the other members of La Squadra.
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere jjba#yandere imagines#yandere jjba imagines#yandere jjba x reader#yandere headcanons#jjba imagines#yandere x you#yandere scenario#risotto jojo#sorbet and gelato#sorbet jojo#gelato jojo#jojo formaggio#jojo prosciutto#jojo pesci#jojo risotto#jojo illuso#jojo ghiaccio#jojo melone#yandere jjba headcanons
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I miiiiight give this blog a complete makeover and make it a La Squadra X Reader only blog because that's what brainrot does to a motherfucker
#ghiaccio x reader#formaggio x reader#risotto x reader#illuso x reader#pesci x reader#prosciutto x reader#melone x reader#la squadra x reader#la squadra#jjba x reader#dunno if I'd write for gelato and sorbet. i don't feel confident about that#sorry for all the tagging btw! i just wanna alert anyone who may be interested
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