#problematic shipping dni

[unknowntalesbymiles]

There has been some light drama happening between one of my mutuals ( @silvashapeshifter ) and a group of proshippers on this app recently, and i decided to speak up about this.

My opinion and my DNI can be summarized by saying "illegal or problematic shipping is something somewhat bad,it makes me uncomfortable therefore stay away please."

The argument with the proshippers that my mutual was facing was that "proship doesn't mean problematic shipping, it just means open to all shipping!"

Okay. Awesome. If that's how the non-problematic ones want to define themselves, all great, I support you guys to a certain level.

Except the problematic ones don't bother using a term specific for them. They call themselves proshippers, that's facts. "Emm you say "Proshippers DNI" but you dont know what proship achtually means!!" I do, but sorry y'all, you are under the same term and I want to keep myself SAFE. I cannot stop using that term because a few of you sticked to the original meaning while a disturbing amount of them romantically ship minors and adults/family members... and interacted with me a few times.

I am not pro bullying, doxxing, harassing anyone. I want my page to stay a safe place for me. And that includes calling problematic shippers proshippers until their community collectively decides to use a new name.

*drops the mic and dramatically leaves the stage*

[dolls-self-ships]

just saw someone on a self shipping post say to not use the word "obsessed" to describe their feelings for their f/o bc it's harmful to those with ocd and as someone with severe ocd please shut the fuck up and go outside oh my god

[arsynnotarson]

im still baffled how people with "proshippers dni" in their ao3 fanfic desc / tags exist.

like, i thought it was a myth. ( /j because of course antis would do something like that )

its ao3. AO3!!!

it's an archive for the stuff wattpad and ff.net kicked off.

any by their definition, that stuff was "proship content" made by "proshippers".

you can't kick the freaks off the freak website made for freaks.

you're fighting an uphill battle, antis. if you hate proshippers so much, get off their site.

[diamondcitydarlin]

hey i had a wild and crazy idea, just bear with me here bro, but maybe if you're beetlebabes dni you should try not going in the tags constantly to announce that to everyone who is the exact thing you're trying not to interact with. idk just a thought! like consider that we all know you exist, no one who has shipped beetlebabes for any amount of time is unaware that there are people who find the pairing and the people who ship it disgusting. i know that this new film must have all of yall huffing massive amounts of copium to deal with it all, but you could also just, yknow, not interact with it at all. not talk about it. stay in the lane of things you actually like instead of treading on other people's fun bc your disgust with it makes you feel entitled to try to shut it down. just put it in your bio if you feel that strongly about it and move on with your life maybe? choose happiness instead of bitterness? focus on improving yourself and your life instead of trying to play fandom cop every day? just thoughts, do with them what you will!

[vagrantcallisto]

"This fanfic is disgusting!"

Bitch, nobody Clockwork Orange'd you into reading it.

[voltaic-chains]

Shout-out to selfshippers who are much older than their F/Os and don't age down their S/Is.

Shout-out to selfshippers who are much younger than their F/Os and don't age up their S/Is.

Shout-out to selfshippers whose F/Os and S/Is are related.

Shout-out to selfshippers whose relationships with their F/Os are toxic or borderline abusive.

Shout-out to selfshippers who treat their F/Os closer to a pet or a toy than a partner.

Shout-out to yandere, stalker, or otherwise violent selfshippers.

Shout-out to selfshippers whose F/Os hate them but aren't given a choice.

Shout-out to selfshippers who don't care about their F/O's boundaries.

[cannibaldowntown]

Ren spent those two years between BTD1 and BTD2 participating in online discourse

[candyheartedchy]

There should be an option for self shippers to let other self shippers know if they are blocked for sharing reasons so the blocked person isn’t wondering if they did something wrong or not when trying to follow.

Like I understand blocking is there for self shippers to have a more pleasant shipping experience without having to see doubles. And that’s okay to do so! It just would be a nice thing to confirm the reason of it being because of doubles instead of the blocked person worrying if they did something bad when they didn’t.

[simplespacedust]

hey so i'm gonna talk about pro-shippers because i feel like none of you have critical thinking skills.

please, if you are going to read this, read to the end because there are multiple parts to my argument.

SOMETHING IMPORTANT: i don't think it is okay to doxx, harass, or send death threats to people on the internet! if you send death threats to people, you are awful! if you go out of your way to harass people when they tell you to leave them alone, you are awful! if someone says something you don't like, talk with them like a normal fucking person jesus christ! if you repeatedly harass a pro-shipper, you are not helping them get any better!

firstly, in terms of "problematic" stuff in mainstream media, most component people can recognize when a piece of media is commenting on something with the use of a relationship/something problematic as a metaphor. just because something exists on-screen doesn't necessarily mean the message of the media endorses it. this is why you never (hopefully) see anyone getting upset about murder in movies. the piece of media is not saying murder is good. it is using it to make a commentary/characterize someone/etc.

now that we have set that precedent, we can move on to pro-shipping in fandom spaces. pro-shipping in fandom spaces if often fundamentally different between than the more general category of just "relationships in media." in fandom spaces, the tendency when creating art, writing fics, posting headcannons, etc. is for the purpose of personal/audience enjoyment. this is why pro-shipping is more often problematic within fandoms. if a person did want to create/add to problematic ships for a purpose other than getting off to it, that would be a different story! thats fine!

unfortunately, however, many pro-shippers do not proship for the literary merit/symbolism/characterization etc. many of them do it because they find the idea of parent-child or sibling-sibling relationships attractive. this is where the problem is. they symbol itself is not the problem, its the message/purpose of the work/art/headcannon itself.

i hear a lot of people talking about how pro-shipping is often a coping mechanism for dealing with trauma a person has experienced. my response to that? KEEP IT TO YOURSELF AND GO TO THERAPY!!!! if you are having to resort to jacking off to fictional incest to cope, then clearly you need the help of a professional to work through your issues! if you cannot for whatever reason, still keep it to yourself!

it is well understood that people are influenced by the opinions of people around them/what they see and interact with. putting out bullshit on the internet that portrays problematic relationships as desirable can one, create a pedophile safe space, and two, unintentionally (or maybe even intentionally!) expose children to these types of relationships and make it seem normal in their brains, which could cause them to not speak up about it if something bad does actually happen to them! even if a person shouldn't be in a space, they are! it doesn't harm you to not post the porn you wrote of that one kid and his dad from south park. and that only talks about adult only spaces, i have seen a shit ton of pro-shippers on tiktok, a platform marketed towards minors.

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE (i have a lot to say and am terrible at organizing my thoughts srry) is that a lot of times pro-shippers infiltrate general fandom hashtags. a child who is scrolling though a bluey hashtag on tiktok should not have any risk of running into someone on the internet describing how bluey's dad would r4p3 her!

you may think that because you are only talking about fictional characters and "its a coping mechanism" its okay, but it is most certainly not! not all coping mechanisms are healthy and what you post on the internet most CERTAINLY has a real effect on people. this is basic media literacy and critical thinking, guys. stop posting child/sibling smut headcannons on the internet! it is absolutely vile!

with all of that being said, (i said this at the beginning but i am going to say it again) i still dont think it is okay to doxx, harass, or send death threats to people on the internet! if you send death threats to people, you are awful! if you go out of your way to harass people when they tell you to leave them alone, you are awful! if someone says something you dont like, talk with them like a normal fucking person jesus christ! if you repeatedly harass a pro-shipper, you are not helping them get any better!

(im gonna put a bunch of proshipper hashtags at the bottom of this to reach the targeted demographic, i am NOT a proshipper, i am NOT an "anti anti" and i do NOT believe proshippers are valid, again, this is just for reach just to be clear)

[iwishallantisaverypleasantstop]

you know, fancops have a well-documented behavioral pattern of completely shutting down sa and csa survivors who are profic and even going so far as to tell them they're lying for attention and/or they deserved their abuse. and tbh this whole mindset of "if your trauma affected you differently than me you're not valid" makes me think they would absolutely do the same to survivors who are hypersexual. and I don't mean the way that tumblr uses hypersexuality as a buzzword, I mean REALLY hypersexual. there's a reason I don't talk about my hypersexuality... really anywhere. ever. it doesn't feel safe to. if people knew what being hypersexual entailed, they'd be horrified by it.

[ver-slxt]

yeah thats SUCH normal bonding /sarc

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…

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i am literally so (not) normal about these two and i am staying up COOKING some headcannons about them ૮₍ • ˕ - ₎ა♡₊˚

[goshikko]

I’m gonna set a boundary here after seeing an artist draw eroguro art (Yucky gore fetish art) of Mahito penetrating Nobara’s eye with his “you know what”: IF YOU SHIP MAHITO WITH NOBARA, YOU DESERVE TO GET BLOCKED!!!

Idc if you do it as a joke or if you’re being for real, I will block you for fetishizing gore and shipping them together. NOBARA IS A FUCKING 16 YEAR OLD MINOR AND SHIPPING HER WITH MAHITO WHO LITERALLY HAS THE APPEARANCE OF A FULL GROWN ADULT IS MAD FUCKING WEIRD!!!

And if you come over here with the “fiction doesn’t affect reality” attitude, well guess what dude… Your favorite pedo ship is affecting others who are victims of grooming and SA (including me). No one wants to see that and you are NOT WELCOMED near my spaces or communities if you ship them!!!

Stay away from me and do not interact if you ship Mahito x Nobara. They will never love each other and your pedo ship will never make sense. Bye!

[inchling-prince]

I think the meaning of being pro ship has changed in more modern fandom spaces. originally it meant what you explained in the comments of your last post, being anti censorship, or to me it’s like the shipping version of “art is there to disturb the comforted and comfort the disturbed” where it should exist in certain media for those who want to feel understood in there experience, but not for a media that it isn’t for. Like, I don’t want to watch a found family kids series only to find out people are shipping the two sibling characters, so I’d DNI it. But in more modern times people are only really calling themselves pro shippers not because there anti censorship, but because they enjoy mostly creepy ships, and then there was the whole “pro” in pro ship means problematic?? I know it’s not I just still find it dumb. But it ended up changing peoples whole vue on what it meant.

Anyway I’m sorry this is a long ask I just wanted to explain that I wouldn’t use the the term even though I’m anti censorship just because I know the term has a very different connotation in modern fandom spaces and that’s what people put a DNI on for

I’m aware of the discourse surrounding the term. Frankly though? I was here first. Proshippers invented the word, it means what we say it means. The other guys have comship or whatever if they want to specify that they ship the more controversial stuff. And even if you are using it to mean “problematic ships” good fucking luck drawing that line. The number of times I’ve seen somebody with a proship DNI shipping something that I went ??? at is pretty high. Like if I had a nickel for every time I saw somebody with a proship DNI shipping some dude with the guy that MURDERED him I would have a frankly alarming amount of nickels. Or like over in Hannibal fandom the primary ship (my ship as a matter of fact) is Hannigram, which is absolutely full of manipulation and violence, but people still want to say “proship DNI”. You’re shipping the problematic ships honey. None of you are free from sin.

And that isn’t even taking into account that when plenty of people say proship DNI, they mean you the person, not the blog with the objectionable content. The number of times somebody blocked me for not having a problem with some other dude is also alarmingly high.

[ghostdnfie]

whenever someone has a long dni list i sometimes read it purely for my own entertainment. and then turn it into a game of am i on the list or not (90% of the time when i am which is quite often, its for being a dream stan or proship lmao)

[s0fter-sin]

being on twitter and seeing 18yr olds with “minors dni” in their bios is the weirdest thing ever

[justproshiprants]

Ugh I wish proshipping was more common in the Undertale/Deltarune fandom nowadays. I want to see more "weird" ships. I want to see more ships that "don't make sense." I want to see people having the fun they want to have without being dogpilled about their ship being weird or problematic because this fandom is overun with antis.

Even shit like Kralsei often gets bad reactions because Ralsei resembles Kris's brother. He's clearly not actually Kris's brother, and I would argue Kris doesn't hate Ralsei as much as some of y'all like to pretend they do. But even if they did, who cares? Fanon isn't canon.