#probably wont wear this out again this year so here you go

[scarletttbitch]

oh Fuck almost missed Mandy monday !!

favorite halloween costume i've done in Ages and yes i made the reverse bear trap myself!!

[em-b-sides]

I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually

[xanderisbraindead]

How to get the confidence to dress alternative in public: LONG POST {from a scene king!!}

I hear a lot of young teens online saying things along the lines of, “I would love to dress like that but I’m scared”. We’ve all been there, it takes bravery to step outside the box. Since 2020, there has been an uptick in alternative fashion, which makes things a little better, but it doesn’t mitigate the fear some people feel.

As someone who has been dressing alternative all throughout highschool and who I’d like to think has some 17 year old wisdom, this is how you can get the confidence to dress how you want. This can apply to other alternative fashion types like decora, punk, goth ect ect.

This post goes with a youtube video!! You can just watch it if you dont wanna read

Realize why you’re scared: Is it because you’re afraid of being different or picked on? Are you afraid of change? Do you think your friends/peers won’t care about you anymore? These are all valid reasons, and once you know why, you can start to tackle it. Change isn’t bad, everyone changes, change is natural. Look around at nature, seasons change, we grow and age, animals migrate and go through metamorphosis. You don’t have to be confined to one thing forever just because you weren’t born that way. As for the fear of being picked on, fuck those people. Do you know why people tease others? It’s because they’re insecure. Hurt people hurt people. When people see you being yourself and they wish they could do that, they take it out on you because in their heart, they’re jealous. You’re not the problem, they are. (If you’re afraid of being physically hurt, that is completely different and I would not advise putting your safety in jeopardy)

Start slow. While you’re still building your wardrobe, you can start slowly stepping out with small accessories and such. Add some kandi to your outfit or a tattoo choker. This is mainly to ease yourself into it. Big changes can be pretty scary and jarring, so easing into it can help you.

Have some role models. By this I mean, have people you look up to, people that are inspiration to you. Me? Some of mine here on tumblr are @xx-may4-malic3-xx , @xx-k1tsun3-k1d-xx , @xxdespairfactionashtonxx , @cigsnvalentines to name a few. Theres also some old scene queens, musicians, ect. Find whoever you want. I’m reccomending this, because when you see other people doing the same as you, it makes you go “if they can do it, so can I”. Most people probably wont even mind if you send them an ask about specific things (ik i dont, i love them).

Kinda the same point, but build a community. We have a pretty good community here on tumblr. Community is the backbone to everything. Ideally it would be someone irl, but not everyone is lucky enough to have cool irl friendz.

Fake it till you make it. Nobody has to know you’re scared but you. I’m not saying get super extroverted if you’re introverted and go around exuding confidence like a lazar beam. Dance in your mirror, hype yourself up. Take cool pictures and edit them, even if you don’t post them online. Learn to walk with your head up, again SLOWLY. As you start introducing more alternative elements into your wardrobe, wear them with pride.

Be the change you want to see. What I mean is if you want people to be kinder, you be kinder. Try to compliment someone every day. People actually aren’t as rude as you think, maybe I’m an optimist, but I think the average person isn’t terrible. Complimenting other people also makes you feel good, try it. Piggybacking off this point, don’t take things so personally. I know if can be easier to harp on the negative looks and comments you got versus the good ones, but you have to look past this. There are gonna be bad apples always, but their misdeeds can blind you from the people who think you’re pretty cool. Don’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch.

Lastly, realize being cringe is okay. Not just realize it, but internalize it. What even is cringe? Define cringe… Weird? Different? Everyone is different, everyone is weird about something. As I said earlier, some people are just too scared to be themselves. In 80 years when you’re old and looking back on your life, would you rather regret not being your authentic self, or think of all the fond memories of your life? Regret is one of the worse things in life, it’s terrible. There is nobody you can be but yourself. You’re you, so be you.

Remember that this is something that can take months or years. I feel like this past year and a half I have become fully confident in my fashion. I have been dressing alternative for 5 years for reference. I hope this could help someone.

If I wasnt clear on anything, feel free to send me an ask! Im more than happy to help!!

[optimisticmosquito]

Imagine a liujiu AU where LQG returns from the dead to save SJ from the water prison:

SJ has been placed in the water prison to be tortured by LBH. The whole trial had been a disaster, but that wasn't particularly surprising. A deep part within him still stung from how none of his martial siblings had even been there to try and defend him.

No one is coming for him, that was simply a fact. LBH had removed his legs a few day earlier and had him write that cursed blood letter, but the joke is on him. YQY wont come back for him. Not after he told him not to return. He had set the man free, there was no reason for him to associate with trash like SJ any longer.

He hears steps come closer, most likely LBH coming back to gloat at him, and maybe to torture him some more. Perhaps he was going to remove SJs arms next.

Looking up he becomes momentarily stunned. He must be hallucinating, maybe the pain and loneliness of his acid filled cave has finally driven him to insanity.

In front of him is a man that should be long dead, the Bai Zhan war god, Liu Qingge. The man he was unable to save in those caves so many years ago.

But is it really him? SJ doesnt think he's ever seen LQG wear that expression towards him. Or, maybe once, during his last moments.

It's a pained and devastated expression. It is compassionate, something that would have made SJ bristle when the brute was still alive. It was many, many words left unsaid.

"Am I dead?" SJ asks with a hoarse throat.

"No." LQG answers bluntly.

Death hasn't changed the man, it is maddeningly amusing in a way. SJ lets out an huff "Then why are you here?".

"I'm here to take you back home" LQG answers with all the seriousness of his old living self.

Against his will, SJ feels his lip wobble, "I have no home, I brought this on myself." .

"Maybe you did." LQG says, "but you did not kill me. I won't let them use my death to falsely imprison you."

Ah, of course. SJ manages a wry smile "So you are here to defend your honor then?".

"No," comes the immediate answer. LQG bends down and hesitates a moment before he places his hand on the side of SJs head. His thumb hovering uncertainly above the skin under his removed eye, before softly brushing the dried blood from cheek.

He swallowed thickly, voice filled with emotions SJ couldn't even pretend he understood. "You tried to save me, more than once. You were never a lazy young master, despite everything I accused you of. And you never went down to the brothels to.. to do that.".

How could he know all that?

LQG took a deep breath, closing his eyes to gather himself. "It seems like I've always misunderstood you shixiong, let me make it up to you now."

SJ must truly have gone insane, question is, what part of his demented mind wanted LQG of all people to see the truth of him?

"Do whatever you want" he answers with apathy. None of this was real anyways, he'll probably wake up in a moment to an empty cell. The memory of LQG will have left him as easily as everyone else have.

Closing his eyes, he thinks he hears a soft "I'm so sorry" before exhaustion claims him. He should get some rest before that beast shows himself again.

Next that follows is LQG taking SJ out of water prison. LBH tries to stop them but YQY gets in his way him. LBH knows he can't beat him in direct combat, that's why he wanted to lure him into the trap in the first place. Seething with rage, he has to let them leave with his shizun.

At CQM, LQG meets up with the rest of their martial siblings, who are understandably shocked to see him. After extensive testing for possession, even taking out Hong Jing, they finally believe he has returned to the living. He talks with the other peak lords, telling them how SJ never tried to kill him in the lingxi caves.

Rather, it was LQG who almost killled him in a fit of deviation induced madness. LQG tells them how he had momentarily regained his sanity and saw how badly he had hurt SJ, who was begging him to come back to himself. And who didn't look far away from a deviation of his own.

He had known at that moment he'd end up killing the man if he slipped back under. So he did the only thing he could, he stopped himself from doing something unforgivable.

After all, the mountain losing only one peak lord was better than losing two. And even with their complicated history, LQG did not want to hurt SJ.

LQG then explains how he had spent many years as a ghost. Watching how SJ was accused of his murder, and how his little sister had suffered by the loss. Seeing how his death had deepened the cracks between the peak lords.

He saw the trial where SJ was accused of many things, including his death. He saw the demon torture SJ and take his legs.

At that moment of utter helplessness, he had been approached by an entity calling itself the System. It asked him if he had any regrets he wanted to mend, and what he was willing to do to return back to life. He accepted the deal and woke up shortly thereafter.

That was how he arrived at QDP at the same moment YQY went outside, eyes wild with desparation and fear.

YQY told him about SQQ and about the box and the blood letter LBH had sent him. Together they were able to form a plan to get him back.

LMY had been so shocked upon seeing him again, and upon hearing all that she had thought of her shibo was wrong, that she didn't refuse him when he asked her to take him to SQQ.

All the while YQY, instead of rushing in head first, asked for an official meeting between himself and LBH to distract the other man. Something he had barely managed without drawing his sword and killing the demon.

LQG and YQY manages to convince the other peak lords to agree to protect SJ. LQG then helps SJ recover, helps him get prostheses and to train up his strenght again.

He also helps SJ bridge the chasm between himself and the other peak lords. And makes sure they become a (somewhat) united front against the new demon emperor.

He constantly tells SJ he will not allow LBH to get his hands on him again. And slowly the former rivalry grows into something else as they learn to know and trust each other.

LBH on the other hand becomes increasingly desperate in his attempts to get SJ back into his claws. But with SQQ, YQY and LQG all protecting the sect, not even LBH can do anything against them.

[elliebyrrdwrites]

I Don't Belong Here

a continuation upon a continuation. One, two and,

Three:

This girl is staring at me, peering through the dark billowing over us due to the lack of sun and abundance of shadows thanks to the castles and the green houses and the trees and she’s trying to figure me out because I’ve just slapped myself instead of returning her informal greeting.

Her eyes are glassy, reflecting the glare of the moon. They’re scanning over my body and I can see her scrutiny. I can feel it against the press of the pants against my thigh. I can hear her mind working as she notes all of the dirt and sweat trailing my hairline.

This, the way her eyes miss nothing, the way her mouth twists into a little rose bud, is ,why I hate this girl. I didn’t want to see her, because she stinks. Not actually, physically stink. She doesn’t actually insult my olfactory receptors. She smells like lavender and damp grass just after it rains. No, Granger stinks in the way where all of the fun in the room dies as soon as she enters.

I bet she’s a terrible lay. I actually feel bad for Weasley. She probably avoids putting cock in her mouth and she probably scrutinizes it for lint or loose strands of hair. When she finally agrees, she grimaces and refuses to swallow it. Weasleys cock probably gets all wobbly by the time she gets her mouth on it.

Yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind that Granger is a real boner killer.

Granger looks at me, like I’m an idiot. She reminds me of my parents. Because she’s dismissing me, her shoulder lifting in a shrug and she takes her eyes and she puts them somewhere else. She takes her eyes away like I hadn’t even stumbled upon her. She takes her eyes and puts them onto the castle where we all died. Or maybe we didn’t.

The point is, I don’t belong here and she’s looking at the castle like it doesn’t belong. She never belonged in my world, but somehow, she seemed to belong more than me.

She looks at the castle like it’s haunted and she cannot dismiss it the way she dismisses me. She sniffs and rubs the back of her hand over her nose. “You missed the sorting.”

That is actually a relief. Listening to that stupid hat babbling on and on before going through every first year and telling us where the damn kid belongs. As if that makes a fucking bit of difference. Nobody can tell you where you belong. You either belong or you don't. Nobody can tell how to belong, least of all a talking hat.

“So, there is a god after all.” I say and I don’t know why.

Granger snorts and shakes her big oversized hair out of her face. “There’s only a handful of us, anyway.” She says with a shrug, her eyes still on that stupid castle. But my eyes are on her. I’ve gone and I’ve taken my eyes and stuck them onto her. I can’t seem to pull them away.

There’s something sickening healthy about the way she looks. Like she didn’t spend the summer being broken into little fragments. Like she didn’t get destroyed before being built back together again.

Her eyes attract the moonlight and her lips are matte pink. There is no makeup, no lip gloss. No nothing. But there isn’t a flake of dry skin on them.

Her cheeks are streaked with tears that make me feel like scratching her skin off. I scratch at the spot where I killed the ant, instead. It’s mutilated little body is gone, somewhere, drifting into the unknown. Giving itself back to the earth that it abandoned for a piece of glory. Sacrificing itself as it climbed its way towards the heavens all for what? A single piece of flesh to take back to its queen? I bet the queen doesn't even notice that it's gone.

The point is, that when I see Granger, something inside of me jerks and flinches. It’s like my body has this natural, visceral reaction that tells me to hurt her, to insult her, to hate her. There's some kind of natural process at play here. I can’t fight it. I wont.

“Why are you so dirty?” She asks, this time, angling her body towards mine, her eyes quickly sweeping over me. Her robes are left unbuttoned. She’s wearing muggle jeans, tight and pressed against the curves of her body. Her pink shirt is lowcut, there’s two round tits staring up at me and the natural process of things take over again.

“Why are you?”

Her matte pink lips quirk to the side, and I think she might frown but I’m afraid that she might grin. She looks down at her body, her rount tits, her fucking jeans. “I’m not dirty.”

“Not on the outside, I suppose.”

The point is, I’m an asshole. I’m supposed to be an asshole. It’s what my parents expect of me. It's why they sent me to a place where I can be beaten back into shape.

Granger’s eyelids lower, her lips flatten out. “Some things never change, huh.” She isn’t really asking me, just stating it more to herself. But I feel it, the dismissal of her words, her body language as she turns away.

And the point is, I have changed. Over and over, I change. Over and over, I break down into a puddle that used to resemble a man but now I’m just this thing that is suppose to spew hate and I'm ancient and jaded and bored.

The point is, I don’t belong. And even Granger knows it. I can feel the dismissal that tells me she is just like my parents. She's taking the choice away from me.

She’s taking my insult and she’s balling it up into some kind of trash that needs to be thrown away. But, she just drops it to the grass, littering the school grounds with it and she turns away from me, and she takes her big brown eyes and she walks away from me.

Between us, stretches all of the balled up pieces of trash with all of the insults I’ve lobbed at her over the years. There's the retorts, the sting of her hands, the curl of her lip, the tears in her eyes. They're all thrown onto the grass and disregarded. They string between us, tight and loose as she moves away from me, as she disappears around the corner of the castle.

I seek her out. I follow the trail of trash and find her in the Great Hall. She’s settling onto the edge of the Gryffindor table and she’s surrounded by familiar faces. None of which I care to label with names or ideas or sounds or smells.

There’s just Granger and she’s pressing her lips into a tight smile as her friends greet her with enthusiasm.

I slide onto the edge of the Slytherin table and a first year whimpers when I smack at my arm, squashing the life out of a little ant that had found it’s way up the sleeve of my shirt. Another sacrifice for the queen!

These kids are getting worse and worse with every passing year. They’re grubby little hands reach for the food that suddenly appears in front of them. It’s like they’ve been hungry all their life and they’re grabbing at the food like they wont ever get enough.

Here, there’s dishes cluttering the table. All of the usual crap. Platters full of boiled potatoes and rolls of bread, asparagus slathered in butter. And there’s every animal you can think of, slaughtered and shredded into little pieces just for your enjoyment. Pigs, chickens, cows, lambs. Their throats were slit, or their brains were blown out and their feathers were plucked or they were skinned alive and they were chopped into little finger friendly pieces and all for your enjoyment.

Until one day, you’ve enjoyed yourself one too many times and your accidently choke on a wish bone. Or you eat so much fucking pig and cow that the plaque inside of your arteries harden, clogging the blood flow. It forces your heart to work harder, forcing it to become enlarged. And then it stops working and you die.

So, dig in, little fuckers.

I take my eyes and I scan the table where the staff is and they’re teary eyed and smiling with wet sloppy cheeks and maybe their sloshed or maybe they’re feeling something I can't ever know.

But their eyes, they pass over me and inside, they flinch. They wince at the knee jerk reaction that comes with who I am. They want to squash me, like an ant. The point is, these professors, they want to kill me. And they don’t even understand that they want to.

The point is, they look at every other student with doe-eyed wonder. With me, their brains stall out. With me, they feel something insidious and angry.

Because, I don’t belong here.

So, I take my eyes and I move them somewhere else.

Granger, she calls to me. She’s denied me something I need. She wont trade insults with me. She wants to dismiss me.

And so I take my eyes and I glue them onto her as she pokes and prods at this salad on her plate. There’s no flesh there, just bright greens and reds and oranges and she’s using her fork to chase around a little red tomato. She’s chasing it and begging it with her teeth bared, to just let her stab it.

She’s chasing around this little tomato like it’s the most interesting thing in the world and when her fork finally sinks into the tender, red flesh of it, it’s bloody guts squirt out, tainting the rest of her salad.

I watch as her eyes flare in delight, as she lifts the fork to her mouth and closes her matte pink lips over it, and as she chews and chomps and eats the thing before it has a chance to scream, she smiles.

That bitch has the audacity to give a little piece of fruit, maybe a vegetable, a hard time but not me?

The point is, I don’t belong but neither does she. Except, when I insult her and she fights me, something feels right. Suddenly, there’s somewhere we both belong. And it’s at each others throat.

It’s then, as I stare across the hall, to where Granger is sitting, her little bushy head floating around her, that I decide to make sure we end up where we belong.

It’s at this time that I realize that this year, I might be able to find a piece of myself that used to be here, hidden and tucked away within the confines of this school. That maybe, she had stolen it. Somehow, the little mudblood had stolen it, deprived me of it when she refused to come back to school last year. And maybe that was why my parents sent me to the facility that was tucked away in a foreign country that overlooked the sea or a large lake. I couldn’t ever tell.

But through the bars on my windows, I could see that the air was heavy with impurities, and the smog was so thick that when the sun rose, the sky turned a shade of topaz. A blend of brown and gold.

The point is, when I think of those sunrises that would turn the sky that obscure shade of topaz and the oxygen was thick and heavy with humidity, there was one face that kept coming to mind.

And that face was currently sitting across the hall from me, murdering little baby tomatoes and smiling quietly to herself.

The point is, what a bitch.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!

im gonna rant at you for a bit if you dont mind :)

Im a minor that lives in a super tight night, close minded community. Super religious, super homophobic transphobic ect. Seeing as im a teenage girl whose questioning their gender and is definitely attracted to women thats kinda problematic lols. Honestly idek how to explain the situation without a bunch of details, but basically, theres a fifty-fifty chance of me being sent to conversion therapy or just cut off from any internet access (and i mean ANY. i have a flip phone for fucks sake.)if my fam finds out im queer, i have no support system outside of some internet friends who know nothing about my situation, and within the next few years(so like once i turn 20ish, thats in like 4 years but whatever) my family is going to expect me to get married to a man and start popping out babies asap. Btw thats whats expected of me in this community, marriage under the age of 25, have like as many kids as physically possible and god forbid higher education. And im not okay with that . Ffs i want to go to college, major in fine arts, meet a person i like and fall desperately in love or maybe not just have a bunch of close platonic relationships i want cats and a dog and a cute studio in a big city where i can dye my hair whatever color i want aand get an obsene amount of piercings, i want to wear pants!! I just want to live. Without expectations or limits or people who love me hating everything they dont know about me. Is that truly so much to ask for?

And im incredibly dramatic cuz i literally have the dream life. My family loves me, my parents are upper middle class, theyve never hurt me before(besides for all the anti everything rants haha) i literally have a full sized bed, which for some reason i see as the peak of being spoiled idk why. I go to school, not even public, a private religious school that prob costs thousands of dollars, i have friends(who are all part of this community btw and id bet my entire savings that most of them think gay is only a word that ppl use to mean happy lol) close ones even!! I have adorable neices and nephews(my 3 sisters all were married by the age of 20, so i have 11 niecesand nephews while my oldest sister is 31) im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out. No hope of college to get on my feet and find someway out, no people that'll help me fucking run away or some bullshit like that, hell ive considered it and then felt like shit, cuz what am i even running from? Im probably attracted to men it wont kill me to marry one. And i like kids, i wouldnt mind having any either. But.... i dont want to be trapped anymore. Cuz ill be honest thats what i am.if some one asked me to run away with them rn i would, no hesitation.

God im a mess😭😭 anyway this was me ranting in my notes app, im just apologizing for dumping this on a complete stranger(we're moots actually!!) albeit a very kind one :) i dont know what im looking for, but ill take whatever your comfortable giving ig.

I love and appreciate you<333

And hey this has been oddly cathartic so lmk if its okay for me to do this again sometime :))

"im living the dream life. But i hate it and i have no way out."

Hon, you're not living the dream life...there's a difference between financial privilege and being happy, you know? It's pretty clear that this isn't what you want.

I'm not sure if you're asking for my advice here, or if you just want to vent. But I care about you, and if you want me to research some things to try to help you, I'm more than willing to (that way it's not on your search history.) Just say the word!

Until then, you are ALWAYS allowed to vent to me.

I'm naming you venting anon in case you write again!

[cute-grave-robber]

I dont want to go into horrific detail so I wont but Im still going to put self harm talk under the read more. Deranged girl dash tonight I see you all! We're so normal up in here

Literally my primary indicator that my meds arent working anymore is if I start having self harm thoughts again. It's actually crazy to think I havent self harmed in my 20s (at least not as extensively or as badly as I used to) because it has been such a long period in my life. Definitely at the very VERY least from the ages of 14 to 19 I on/off (literally not clean for more than a few months at a time) self harmed so this is the longest I have been properly clean since like 14 lol.. honestly I dont know if I will stay clean forever but Im also really embarrassed about my self harm habits like I feel so stupid for doing it but I also did it at times when I felt like I needed to punish myself or just needed to hurt a lot so when I get urges again it's such an out of place and confusing thing to me because I don't feel that way about myself anymore. I have come soooo so so so close to relapsing again I am genuinely astounded I havent relapsed especially the last few months. I am very used to my scars now and honestly they arent nearly as bright or as obvious as they used to be but if I sit and look for too long I start to see how fucking many I have which is both so surprising and not because of how looooong I did it for..... and during late 2019/early 2020 it got really really bad. I cant remember the last time I self harmed or how badly I did it but I have some quite ugly scars that honestly probably should have gotten stitched. Theres quite a few and a kind of nasty one on my shoulder that are all 4 years old this year and I am wearing a dress on Sunday that will not hide them. Maybe I shouldnt be deeping this 6 days before I am supposed to wear that dress but honestly I dont think anyone will notice them they are quite faded, it'll be dark, and like nobody is looking anyway LOLLLL

[adaricruz]

Well...since you said you like asks, I'd love to hear any Hunter/Kevin headcanons you wanna share??

(Also I love love LOVE your art of them so much fr, I love how you draw Hunter sm & despite personally not being into DEH, I still think your Conner drawings are fucking awesome too)

^-^ 🤘

HELLOOO i love seeing you in my notis sm !! im so glad you like my metal lords fanart fr i swear there’s only like 3 ppl in the fandom & 2 of those 3 are US 😭😭 & omg i have so many hc’s for em 🏃🏽‍♂️🏃🏽‍♂️

- ok SO . i genuinely think the one that would develop feelings would def be hunter . & prob has had a big ass crush on kevin for YEARS . & he’s a dumbass so he’ll continue to crush on him for as long as they know each other . once kevin meets emily & get together , hunter has to see kev be happy with someone else & suffer in silence but ofc wont do NOTHING about it . so Yeah , it prob would be unrequited :((( i’ve read some fics where kevin is doing the crushing over on hunter thing , which i also think is super cute & makes sense , but mans is way too busy being a dumbass too , hunter IS definitely the one in love with his best friend .

- hunter definitely uses he / they pronouns . & prob wears skirts bc they are comfy ( i have to draw that sometime 🏃🏽‍♂️🏃🏽‍♂️ ) im a metalhead so i kinda go ‘ would hunter wear this ‘ while im wearing a band shirt & a black maxi skirt with demonias & if i go ‘ yea ‘ i kinda imagine him wearing it JDJDJ specially bc ik adrian greensmith wears skirts too .

- I DO SEE kevin & emily being together for a good while ( & again , meanwhile hunter is suffering in silence watching his crush be with someone else , hunter loves emily ofc because she’s a badass & is also his friend , & if kevin is happy with her , hunter is ) & hunter prob dates some guys along the way ( ppl he meets at gigs or concerts etc )

- after rehab ( bc hunter Goes back for his anger management issues ok im forcing him back there ) , hunter is less aggressive & violent & doesnt hold a grudge on emily ( the old hunter would tho , & would be so damn jealous she gets to kiss kevin & he doesnt bruh ) & she prob does his makeup or paints his nails 🫶🫶

- kevin does enjoy playing d&d ok he has a face that says ‘ i make sick ass campaigns ‘ i just KNOW IT

- hunter bought them tickets for their first concert in middle school ( probably motörhead or slipknot ) & kevin had to sneak out to be able to go 😭😭 i do think all of hunter’s shirts come from concerts !!! & once kevin gets more into metal he even gives him some to wear ( ik his nasty ass has a whole closet filled with band shirts & they REEK )

- hunter tries to teach kevin to play guitar 🫶 it doesn’t go well kevin fucking sucks

THESE ARE SO SILLY i just love that movie & these charas sm because they are so Normal & fun compared to my other fandoms ( where it’s just Blood & killing & Suffering ) so with kevin & hunter is lighthearted stuff 🖤 tysm for the ask !! & im also so so glad you enjoy my connor stuff <3 ik it’s a lot between the metal lords stuff so tysm for still being here ! 🤘

[cowgirljedi1701]

All righty folks, looky here, it's the Lone Ranger headcanons I was going to post yesterday but didn't because I got distracted and started doomscrolling. Here we go.

-- I think we all know Tonto's speech pattern..... Did not age well. My take on it is: Tonto can absolutely talk proper English if he wants to. But he knows that a lot of people kind of expect him not to, so why disappoint them? Using the broken English in public is a strategic choice. Deliberately allowing people to underestimate him and ignore him as "just an Indian" allows him to put himself into a position to learn things that he might not otherwise. Yes, occasionally it backfires, but usually knowing how to play dumb turns out to be a pretty smart move.

-- Tonto also speaks Spanish and knows that his name is the same as the Spanish word for "stupid", but (Disclaimer before I continue: I don't know Jack about Native American languages, so I have no idea if this next thought lines up with reality in any way whatsoever) I like to headcanon that in the language of his tribe it means something more positive, like maybe the name of an animal or something.

-- Do you think the Lone Ranger ever experienced some kind of emotional breakdown or existential crisis about missing hearing his own name and desperately wishing he could just be John Reid again even just for a little while? (Ooh, Evil Plot Bunny. I might have to write a fic about that.)

-- Vaguely related to the above, I don't think the people in the Lone Ranger's hometown are so stupid that they can't recognize a boy who grew up there just because he's wearing a mask now. Yeah, the Lone Ranger only confided in one guy, who he's sure he can trust to take it to his grave, but that doesn't mean nobody else knows. Like, heck, Mr. So-and-so knew John Reid when that boy was in diapers, for God's sake, so of course he knows that's him. Various people in town have talked to John enough over the years that they recognize his voice. Maybe some people know him just from the way he sits his horse. Probably everybody in town low-key knows that the Lone Ranger is John Reid, and just doesn't say anything. There was no discussion on this point. Everyone just quietly agreed, as it seems people in small towns are often wont to do, that this is the Local Secret which we Do Not Speak Of, and if anyone asks, especially outsiders, then Nobody Knows Anything About It.

[bitchkay]

Predicament

My hair needs doing

Right

Needs a wash and a fresh style

Need to buy shampoo and braiding hair, I have some in my stash but yall know I wear green hair I need to top up

The issue

Graduation pictures

I am in my third year and I will be graduating from this college come june

I have get grad pic done soon

I'm not one of them white girls that cam wake up in the morning and curl they hair nah this shit need to be planned out, this shit need to be scheduled, this is type 4 hair on this head

Now I was gone pop out with my star ponytails and get my hair cut this undercut getting real nappy

But if I'm getting graduation pictures I cant do that hair style, imma need this head to be in a style that can fit under a graduation cup hun

But I cant do box braids again, not yet anyway

I had braids in my highschool grad pictures, I cant be a hairstyle repeater who do you think I am

I'm nothing if not intricate with my hairstyles, imma get braids but not for this occasion okay baby

I gotta look at least a little classy, imma still have my green hair, imma still look like I spent three years in art school but imma look like a damn college graduate okay

I had a frohawk for my grade 8 too graduation, I always pop out😚

However comma

I was thinking of getting a buss down middle part green wig for my actual graduation like the ceremony

What if I just got that a little earlier for the pictures and get it reinstalled for the ceremony

HOWEVER COMMA

We low on funds baby

Wigs are expensive and imma(probably????????????) be going on a little grad trip w/ my friends and I still ain't paid my share, I still have some time before I absolutely need to but bitch the cost of my share would leave me w/ 75 cents💀💀 left over in my bank account

I do not be having the money for no wig bitch I dont be having the money to go nowhere either I might not even go tbh as much as I want too

The real problem here tho is

What the fuck do I do w my hair

I wanna do my star ponytails but I can't wear that in grad photos especially since it cant fit that comfortably under a graduation cap not to mention compared to my highschool photos it wont compare like I'm not 17 anymore you know, I'm gonna be 21 this year

My grad pictures just have to be kvnt I wont accept less

Also if I do end up braiding my hair it has to be specific like I'm actually going to be picky about that

Which would mean ordering the braiding hair online the same way I'd have to order the wig

And again a bitch does not gave money and a bitch does not have time either like I need to get these pictures done soon if I'm going to get them

I also need to apply to graduate soon--

I also should be worrying about some of my classes so that I can graduate--

ANYWAY

I don't know what to do with my hair😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And I'm gonna stress about it😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I'm gonna throw up all that rice if I don't get this anxiety undercontrol😣😣

[the80srewinders]

Dissociation does not always have to look like "Oh wow, I forgot my name and family! I forgot most of my past! I don't know if the world is real! I am literally watching myself from the other corner of this room!" Same for switches. They don't always have to look like "I'm getting sleepy!" Then staring off until the alter fronts but it looks like you suddenly wake up and act like you're hungover, then say "I don't know where I am or how I got here! I dont know anyone here! I don't look like myself! *dramatically wears wig host wasn't wearing*" then thinking you woke up in a place you have no idea how you got there and dont remember how you wore the wig. Instead, dissociation, including switches, more commonly includes:

For depersonalization- feeling like youre watching your body as if you were right next to it, coming out of it, or stuck inside like your body is a car whether or not you're in control, a feeling of "I'm doing these things but why? " which is vast and can mean anything from passive influence making you do things you have little to no control over to "going through the motions"

For derealization- feeling like certain people or objects aren't real, feeling like the world in general or people or objects might not be real (not feeling like they aren't, but being unsure if they are or not) feeling like the world is a dream or your awareness feeling dreamlike

Identity confusion- having two vastly different opinions on the same thing (bonus if one of those opinions don't feel like they're really yours) having a specific set of "phases" that can be randomly brought out and suddenly thats who you are until another one of those phases is brought out (for example, having three phases you cycle through, the other two feeling distant, out of your comfort zone and unlike you until youre in one of them again, one phase being a emo, the other a basic vsco girl, and the other a masc goth, and while youre in the masc goth phase it might not feel like you, this is what i as host experienced years before i knew about DID) the phases making you unsure about your identity especially when youre torn between most or all of them at the same time, and when you dont know what you like because you remotely like so much and you dont know when something clicks with "the real you"

For Identity alteration- hearing the alters voices as random noise, intrusive thoughts or hearing them tell you what to do, feeling like you look like different people at different times, feeling like your memories or some of them belong to someone else

And last, for switching- because someone needs to say this. Its the most glamorized part of DID and misrepresented in that glorification. Here's what switches really are like- feeling tired and having a headache, then feeling like your awareness never stopped, but realizing you don't remember what happened in a period of time right before that, or remembering part of what happened but not clearly, this is called greyout amnesia and this is more common than blackout amnesia, your memories of a greyout will be fuzzy, probably feel dreamlike or like it happened to someone else. when there is blackout amnesia you probably wont notice for days, weeks, months to years and that's normal, most people with amnesia of childhood trauma even singlets dont notice or think the amnesia is typical childhood memory loss.

Dissociation does not have to be dramatic to be valid. And dissociation can be episodic in people with DID, it doesn't have to be an everyday thing of mixed dissociation to the max. You can go a day without depersonalization, derealization, and amnesic switches and still have DID. The stereotypes made by The Three Faces of Eve and systemscringe are not based in reality. Don't make yourself live up to that or invalidate yourself over a stereotype different from the diagnostic criteria.

[angryborzois]

@astral-from-afar since u wanted to hear my story lmao (it was kinda long to be a comment)

alright idk where to begin lmfao

okay so i dont remember how much of it I told you but remember the clingy girl who was insensitive and stuff last year? (ok its okay if you don't remember but yeah there was a girl like that jasdffkd)

she's one of the people i remember and get annoyed about to this day but okay that's still not that bad since I managed to drift from her

so the real problem was this other clingy girl 😭YES THERE WERE TWO

i guess she was less clingy and a little more tolerable but still... the problem here was that this girl liked me.....

there were a lot of reasons that make me pissed off remembering to this day but that's sort of unrelated here (for context just know that I disliked her from the near beginning) so onto the main story

So this girl would always ask for hugs from me which I was okay with at first (she did it to everyone ig) but eventually I stopped letting her hug me because I got tired of it and I don't really like hugs to begin with.

but still, she was weird about physical touch...i remember this one time where she kept touching my arm when I was wearing a short sleeve and she was saying stuff like "wow you're so muscular" (IM NOT BTW??? LIKE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IM AVERAGE ASF) like okay that was creepy ngl.... i still didn't think anything of it back then though which was stupid of me because I should've connected all the dots

also she kept complimenting me all the time which was mildly uncomfortable but yeah couldn't do anything about that ig

eventually i started hanging out with other people and avoided this girl to the best of my ability until the end of the year because by that time I was thinking "oh whatever I'm going to transfer anyways" so i stopped caring since i thought it would be over soon

yeah so on the last day she was VERY clingy since she knew I would transfer (I did let her though since I was thinking "oh its the last day and I'm never coming back so whatever. cant be that bad. ill forget about it later" and honestly that was a big mistake)

so school hours officially ends and we're at the gate of the school. and this girl physically WONT LET ME LEAVE. she was hugging me and refusing to let go but at that point I was like "oh who cares ig". she probably made me stand there for like 10 minutes istfg 💀but then here comes the terrifying part

she suddenly lets go and looks me dead in the eyes and asks for me to kiss her on the cheek (I think? i kind of forgot the exact phrasing by now). i gave her a weird stare (more like a horrified stare cause wtf.) and she just looked away in embarrassment and went back to hugging me and by this time I was like "oh hell no get me out of here". maybe a minute later she suddenly kisses me on the head and leaves

LIKE OKAY WHAT...

THAT WAS AT THE FRONT GATE. PEOPLE SAW. i wanted to disappear and never come back...like i dont know if she had the wrong idea that i liked her back but what the fuck......it was just so unnecessary....

for the rest of the day i did not feel well about this ☠☠☠

anyways remembering that still annoys me to this day like okay maybe if i had been an asshole and said no to her last hug i couldve prevented that

thankfully the people in my new school are actually sane like holy shit what kind of a traumatizing school did i accidentally enroll in for a year

havent met anyone clingy ever since but I'm never intending on letting anybody hug me ever again unless I trust them

tldr: my old school was borderline traumatizing

[pillarsalt]

hi hello ms pillarsalt would you mind sharing what kind of iud you have? i have adenomyosis and my cycle pain has been getting progressively worse but i am terrified of hormonal birth control bc all the pill type ones i was on as a teen gave me horrible stomach trouble like to the point we thought i had Crohn's disease. but im also scared of the copper one bc my body has rejected metal b4. basically if u have a hormonal iud can you comfort me that it wont make me constantly sick bc i would like to stop passing out from pain at work and nobody seems to want to discuss this type of treatment yk

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, it sounds terrible. As I'm sure you already know, I'm not a doctor and I can't tell you if getting a hormonal IUD will help alleviate your adenomyosis. I can tell you my experience with it, though. I have a Mirena IUD which is hormonal. Here is a screenshot from their website about the effectivity:

So right away I can tell you that before I had it installed nearly five years ago, my periods were heavy as hell. The cramps sucked of course, but the main issue was how much I would bleed and bleed. I would go through probably seven or eight superplus (heaviest) tampons a day and even have to wear a pad at the same time so I could get through a class without bleeding through my pants. I got it installed (usually they schedule it for when you're on your period so your cervix is softer), had a period for about a month afterward, and then my periods became so light that I didn't even have to buy menstrual products anymore. Basically there was a small amount of discoloured discharge that would signal that I was menstruating, with some very light cramps akin to when you ovulate. Now my periods are getting heavier again because I need to get it replaced soon, but apparently the pregnancy prevention aspect is still good for a couple years so it's not as much of an emergency as I thought (gotta find a doctor soon lmao).

I haven't had really any side effects that I could tell you about. I've had issues with mental illness since I was about 13 but they didn't get any worse with the installation of my IUD. Actually I'm doing better than I ever have in my adult life in that aspect. I haven't had any digestive issues like the stomach pain you mentioned, no weight gain or weight loss. My skin is clear almost all the time and I generally feel physically well.

Now, will it help with your adenomyosis? I think it's really worth talking to your doctor about. The hormonal medication in the device, Levonorgestrel, thins the endometrium, which is why I bled far less during my period while on it. The endometrium that builds up in the muscular tissue of your uterus and causes you pain may be lessened in the same way. This part of the website that states why some people can't use it concerns me:

Because 1. I don't know if or how much your adenomyosis changes the shape of your uterus and 2. if your stomach trouble was an allergy to the medication itself then you'll likely have the same problem here. Basically, you've got to find a doctor who will listen to you and talk this and other options out with you, because it's inhumane to let you keep suffering this way.

Good luck to you, I really hope you can find a solution. I know getting this sort of stuff figured out is daunting and feels impossible sometimes but don't give up. Do your best to find a women's health clinic or at least a female doctor. It's going to be okay!

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[wytfut]

Wedding Car

Another little adventure came up last night, that I participated in...

thru the years, our 1936 Ford, has been involved with a few weddings. 

Buddy Mark Hutchins texted and wanted to know if our car was available for a wedding.  A friend of his knew Mark was a car guy, and would probably know of someone, who’d have an old cool looking vehicle....

And he did... us. 

I like doing weddings. 

Many folks have old treasured cars. For good memories, investments, activities, a hobby to keep busy. 

Unless you are very rich, the investment sort of reasoning, is usually a loss, or if you are very lucky with your purchases. The vehicles that are in my range will not create any high profits. And most total restorations and/or modified have sunk so much money into the vehicle they will never get their money back. Extremely hi dollar vehicles on the other hand will create profits, but the market has to demand it with each individual vehicle. 

For example currently, the early 2000′s Ford GTs are commanding huge profits. And because of that, those very same Ford GT’s are coming out “for sale” by the truck load....   this could eventually flood the market value down. 

People who usually do car hobby this way, do not have emotional attachments to their vehicle. 

Car show guys are hard to figure, but make sense on the surface. I don’t really want to get into any depth here,  Other than an observation....  These owners are to an extent, slaves to their cars, only to show them and particapate in Car Club events (usually more shows). 

I’ve done car shows. Usually just because someone asked. I don’t do them regular by any means, and if I do one, I prefer something like a show and shine like “Culvers” every friday night. No hoopla, not huge amounts of folks, or cars. Just show up, look at everyone elses, maybe talk to a few folks about their cars,  and leave. 

What I like about wedding parties.... it gives another purpose to your collectible. At car shows, my Pop loved folks looking at his car, and talking about the “36″. He’d even go so far and let them sit in it if asked. 

Now when I do show, I’ll let them even sit in the rumble seat. Yes, it does indeed create wear and tear, but how many folks can actually say they sat in a rumble seat. I know Pop would just love this attitude I’ve taken. As do all of his grandsons.

Our “36″ is not a museum piece. Or better than new. Sometimes I don’t feel its good enough to show. I call it “crispy”. It has a great look from 10′. Up close you are going to see missing upholstery, deep chips in paint, spider webbing, and daily scratches and rubs. Believe me, I have no idea where they all come from, but between Pops age at the end, myself, and my Pop’s grandsons all drivers.... stuff is going to happen. Maybe someday down the road, we’ll paint the old girl again and fix the issues. 

Its been restored twice in the time we’ve had it. Its on its 3rd engine in the same amount of time. 

Wedding parties, love this car. It has a “class” look to it. Vintage. Not very common (1936 are orphan a little bit, and I don’t know why... marketing?)  And it cleans up nicely. 

Ellenore and her new Husband Jax, just adored our ride last nite. We even had a side trip to under the front doors of the State Capital, for some extra photos. I don’t know photography, but the lighting there was beautiful. All and any colors just popped.

Elle actually wanted to ride in the rumble seat, but didn’t .... “my vanity, wont allow my hair to get messed up in the back seat” .....   made me laugh.

We all hopped in the cab. Its a small cab, but it can be done, and has been done many times before.  

I had cleaned the cab before the wedding, and was very sure it was good to go. Unfortunately Elle’s dress caught some grease (I didn’t even think about it) off the top of the transmission (bottom of the stick). And somehow got some on her finger.  She took it all in stride, and grease on her dress apparently was on a hidden side, as I kept looking for it, although I saw in when she was in the car. 

The “36″ can be notorious for giving me fits at the wrong time, but performed flawlessly. The past few years not so much though. 

I noted to myself for future reference.... got to get brake lites fixed again (switch issue), clutch is due for adjustment, and so are the mechanical brakes. 

The “36″ was far from “wedding ready” when Mark called/texted. I had taken the starter button out of it AGAIN, last August. Since I had converted the “36″ to 12 volt (I had honestly not noticed this) it started eating the starter buttons on the floor. I finally figured it out last summer that the huge amps of 12 volt were basically blasting the starter buttons. 

With my back in such poor shape during this time... I never got back to reassembly. Because of that, it was filthy... just nasty (building is far from air tight. Laying on the floor of a 1936 Ford coupe is not pain free.

I put a call out to all of my Pop’s  grandsons.... and 2 responded immediately. Brennan said he’d get it back together, and Devin said he’d get her all cleaned up. 

As I had envisioned using a solenoid between battery and starter button worked perfectly. Brennen did a wonderful job of installing. Then I sat and watch Devin polish the old girl all up.... 

This was a couple weeks ago....    I do have a good crew to lean on. These guys got it done.... 

I’ve been thinking, (I know, I need to quit doing that), about organizing (like I have nothing else to do) a wedding car group. Other folks with same thoughts about being involved with weddings. Elle told me that none of the wedding shops had any sources for wedding cars, and even called a few automotive shops. 

I don’t understand why this is so....  

well if I get time... maybe I’ll pursue this....

[indigo474]

- August 2-

i don't know how much longer I'm going to write on the computer. i'm thinking about switching back to writing in a notebook. i'll probably write more because a notebook easier to access. I went out with Marci the other night. it was a fun night. I realize i am sensitive to what people say about their partner. it's because of what I've lived.. and that's ok. my next relationship will be something I protect and nurture and I will not speak badly of my partner or our relationship... but that's just me... she's been living alone for 15 years and he's been living alone for 20 years. its a huge adjustment for both of them. some of her stories were cute about how they are learning to compromise on certain things. I asked her what it was like coming home from work and him being there. She said that was one of her favorite things.. knowing he was going to be there when she got home. I think that is so sweet. i'm going to her house this weekend.. she wants to show me around. I'm looking forward to meeting her almost husband. I have a feeling they will be getting married.

my car is back on its bullshit. I want a new car but the cari want isn't a sensible car, its a fun car. i'm not sure what to do. I was hoping to Luigi would get me through 1 more winter.

i had to talk to my lead Christine about having her tits out at work. I kept it classy- did you notice the shirt you had on was on the sheer side and a little revealing? her response- I don't wear padded bras and its not my fault its cold in here and my nipples got hard- I cant help what my body does. I had to explain how we are in an office setting and we need to dress appropriately. she saw nothing wrong with the fact her tits were out. she said she wasn't going to fight with me about it she just wouldn't wear the shirt again. THat's great Christine , i'm glad to hear that- here's a copy of the dress code. this is not the first time she's worn inappropriate clothes to work nor is it the first time she has been spoken to about it. I'm sure it wont be the last time I speak to her about it. I think the next time i'm going to bring someone in the room with us.. just because it's a sensitive topic and I want a witness so she cant say I said anything I didn't say.