#probably too embarassed to be perceived

[mirrorofliterature]

aw damn the absolute [redacted] who apparently [redacted] blocked me so they can't see the post I spent an hour researching and writing so sad

'I'm a law student too' [can't even properly define executive government or decentralisation]

'They are a decentralised organization [source?], they hire their own members and administer their own resources [hire??? interesting definition], but they work under the sanction and oversight of the galactic senate' hm. what would we call that. similar to a independent government body. oh, I know, PART OF THE EXECUTIVE BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT. so you agree??? 'The jedi will get in trouble if they act against the wishes of the senate' so you agree??? that they act under the authority of the senate? NOT LIKE AN NGO WOULD - I mean all a NGO has to do is not break the fucking law -

like look at this tomfoolery: 'The senate never had an executive branch until the coming of Palpatine, who got his special executive powers, back then the chancellor was more like the speaker of the house tan the "president" of the republic'

hm wookiepedia thinks otherwise, also the senate had executive and legislative powers: 'Additionally, the chancellor could issue executive orders, such as an order requiring a senator to leave the capital for security purposes'

[mirokuna-hime]

I was about to become very depressed again and thought about how no one likes me and that I have completely accepted that the issue is my personality and that's why no one is capable of loving me

Then someone knocked on my door and invited me to pottery :')

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Actually could we put some light on the class difference clash epel is experiencing in school. The situations looks a little weird to me. Cuz in epel's robes vignette it starts with the other pomefiore students asking him about carpet brand preference and he has no idea what to answer. They end up having a misunderstanding that never clears up. Epel proceeds to make a table manner mistake which Rook helps cover up with a lie so epel won't be embarassed (rook can probably sympatise) while vil is more strict. It is in this vignette we see that instance of vil first making epel lie about his favorite food for unclear, debated reasons.

In Epel's labwear vignette we hear some of the NPC students whisper about him and they seem to be asuming he must also be from some rich family due to the clothes he wears (which vil gave to him and makes him wear) and maybe also because he's in pomefiore. I know that it's just like vil to give people clothes he thinks will fit them best,and some of it might be so epel blends in pomefiore better, but could Epel actually be more likely to get picked on if he was perceived as from a lower class? NRC is a prestigious boarding school but it's not like he's the only character with more...average circumstances. Compared to the literal royalty and celebrity attending.

[Referencing this post!]

Mmm... I mean, aren't the mobs (in the Labwear vignettes) already bullying Epel because they perceive him to be of high social status? I don't think it would make a difference if they knew he was of a low social status since the mobs were already bullying him (again, under the impression that he's rich) to begin with. What I'm saying is that bullying would have occurred regardless of Epel's socioeconomic status. It's not necessarily nice, but it seems to be the norm for NRC students to verbally bash one another.

I don't really recall other major or frequent instances of middle class (Trey, Jack, Ace) or low-income students (Ruggie, Deuce) in the main cast being bullied. In fact, Trey and Ruggie are pretty well-liked and respected within their own dorms despite not being as wealthy as the majority of their peers are. (In this post, I go over how roughly 75% of the main cast come from at least upper middle-class backgrounds.) The bullying seems to be centered mainly on Epel, and I think that's probably because his peers perceive him as being small and cute--and therefore delicate, meek, and easy to push around. Epel just seems like the ideal target from a quick glance. Notice how B-kun comments on Epel’s face first:

I think it's also worth noting which dorms the bullies in Epel's Labwear vignettes come from: B and C are from Savanaclaw, and A is from Pomefiore. Savanaclaw mobs are notoriously belligerent and are usually the go-to mobs to pick fights with their peers for what are very minor things. The Pomefiore mob bully seems to be an outlier; most other Pomefiore mobs, at least as depicted in Epel's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, are polite and refrain from this type of behavior.

Importantly, (Savanaclaw) C is the one that calls Epel a “little rich brat” and (Pomefiore) A says Epel is “daddy’s fancy little lad”. This wording makes both sound resentful of the rich, thinking them spoiled—so it makes me think maybe A, B, and C are actually not rich themselves and are the less privileged picking on someone they think is wealthy but unable to stand up for themselves.

Now, within Pomefiore itself, it does appear that many of its students are upper class or at least sticklers for appearances. Their knowledge of brands and aesthetics itself is not damning evidence (anyone of any class could know this too; there’s also lots of non-rich people who obsess over brands). However, the fact that all of Epel’s first year peers already seemed familiar with how to handle a full set of cutlery at a formal meal does indicate high socioeconomic status, as the common man would not know how the heck a salad dork differs from the fish fork. (Most people use 1 fork or 1 spoon for the entire meal, and forget about having courses.) Buuut we shouldn��t assume that this one vignette is representative of all Pomefiore students, just as we cannot assume the one mean Pome A is a good example of all Pomefiore students, since there are limitations with the game. (Another famous game limitation is all Savanaclaw mobs being beastmen and every other dorm having zero beastmen mobs; in the manga, we see humans in Savanaclaw and beastmen in Heartslabyul. Riddle also verbally confirms that Heartslabyul has a cat beastman in the second Beans Day event.)

I think there’s definitely intersectionality at play as well. There’s something to be said for a culture clash in addition to a clash of classes. Epel is the only one in the main cast from a decidedly rural area where there isn’t much to do (ie no brand name shops) and everyone is close and casual with one another (ie there is little in the way of formalities). This likely contributes to the disconnect between Epel and his Pomefiore peers.

Now, where is this all leading to? Am I claiming that bullying based on socioeconomic status doesn't happen at NRC? Of course not! I have no doubt that it happens, but I don't think it's specifically the rich-on-poor type. In Epel's case, it seems to be the poor-on-(perceived to be) rich kind, but the opposite also occurs (in book 1, Riddle insults Yuu's pitiful education, something which is typically associated with the lower class; magic and magic education in particular is associated with the upper class). And, of course, we have the middle ground of people of similar socioeconomic status going at each other (for example, Leona and Malleus's rivalry). What's sort of sad is that the environment at NRC is conducive to animosity and no adults ever intervening because: 1) the students are so prideful, who would actually have the guts to tell an authority figure they were being picked on? and 2) the students tend to try and retaliate or get into fights instead, which only escalates the situation.

At NRC, I get the impression that class is one thing you could get bullied for, but that power and/or connections are much more important factors. Let's revisit Ruggie, who is the most impoverished of the main cast. If we assume that the less well-off students are predominantly the ones who get picked on, then shouldn't we have many examples of Ruggie being bullied? But he isn't. In fact, the big, burly Savanaclaw mobs (who are known to be combative) seem to defer to him instead of bullying him. Leona even leaves Savanaclaw in Ruggie's care while he is away in book 6, fully expecting that the mobs will listen to Ruggie. Why? Well, Ruggie is not physically or magically strong, but he has Leona's backing. It's through this association with the powerful Leona that Ruggie gains the respect and the following of the others in his dorm. This is something we consistently see in other characters, including Epel's own dorm leader. Because Vil beats him in combat, Epel agrees to listen to what he says even if Epel dislikes it. We see mob students bend the knee to the main cast once they've gotten glimpses into their power or abilities (Leona versus the Savanaclaw mobs, Idia versus the Ignihyde mobs, each in their respective Dorm Uniform vignettes).

Circling back around to the concept of Epel being bullied! Would the Pomefiore mobs turn on him if they realize he's actually not wealthy? Maybe...? We don't really know enough about the individual personalities of the mobs to judge for ourselves. If they did bully Epel for that though... I feel like those mobs would be in for an ass whooping from Vil (and Rook) for being so petty, vindictive, and disregarding decorum. Vil can rub people the wrong way with his demanding and stern attitude (I'm one of those people sometimes), but he wouldn't stand for such "ugly" behavior. It sullies the good name of the Fairest Queen and the dorm made in her image that he oversees. Those are my thoughts on the topic! I apologize if I ended up straying a little from the initial ask (I felt like I wasn't even truly talking about Epel for half this post ashdbsadlbayw).

[kursedmayo]

This is gonna be a a bit of a controversial take but to me Farcille to me is not very appealing since Falin and Marcille's relationship is a bit too complex to be boxed into a simple ship. There's both gay, platonic and familial implications and I don't think I've seen this type of relationship in media before actually.

In the Anime they really went all in on the yuri domtext- I refuse to call it subtext because its not, in fact sub (jk) but in the manga it's a bit more ambigious. In both media though they're portrayed as close, like way too close just to be friends. I think this might have to do with initial impressions, Marcille treating Falin like a little sister while Falin treats Marcille more like friend.

If you've read the Manga there was an implication that at some point Marcille wanted a younger sibling, but apparently she ended up being the youngest and the last child (if my memory serves correct). When she met Falin, she was a bit shy, tomboy-ish, and seemingly carefree when they met, which can sometimes be perceived as someone being pretty childish. Because of that, in her mind Marcille may have somewhat adopted the idea that Falin is younger than her and such, and then her subconscious childhood desires made her think of Falin as a little sister. I myself is more receptive to receiving or initiating touch with my brothers since I'm comfortable with them, so I can see why they're comfortable being physically close often.

This may also be why she dislikes Toshiro (Shuro) so much, she was particularly defensive of her little sister. I kinda doubt Falin discussed ever wanting to get into a relationship so maybe Marcille wanted to beat back unwanted suitors? At the same time this may just be her being jealous and not wanting to let Falin go, which can be interpreted to be something due to romantic feelings for Falin.

Meanwhile, when Falin met Marcille her impression was that she was a cool academic girl that took interest in her and befriended her. Marcille is most likely her first friend at that point and quickly became her best friend. She clearly admires Marcille and good LORD have you seen that bath house scene?? It was much less yurified in the Manga since Marcille was clearlu tired from using ancient magic and was having delayed reactions but I really dont think that was sisterly in any shape or form, it seems far too intimate. Keep in mind she was the one who initiated the hand locking in the bath house, not Marcille, so that may imply sometjing. So this brings me to my final conclusions.

Marcille probably thinks of Falin like a little sister or at least perceives Falin as someone younger than her that she wants to take care of. At the same time though her relationship with Falin is also hard to define completely by familiar or platonic because Laois is literally there for comparison and their relationships don't seem very similar to me.

On the other hand, Falin most likely sees Marcille as her best friend, someone either her equal or greater in skill or talent. When she has a slightly embarassing problem (like her constant flushed cheeks) she wants help with, she trusted Marcille enough to go straight to her instead of figuring it out herself so that says quite a lot, considering Falin seems to be of the independent type and don't like bothering people. However, there are also some odd vibes regarding her behavior with Marcille that prevents me from also waving Farcille off, so again I hesitate to box their relationship nearly into a single category.

So yeah. No hate to Farcille but I think I'd rather label these two weirdos with "???" instead of just friends, sisters or girlfriends. It feels a bit more accurate that way.

[schtrawberry]

personal astrology observations

[!] this is mostly an introspective view into my chart; in no way, shape, or form am i saying that any of this is fact or set in stone, nor am i saying that i am a professional astrologer. these are just presences that exist within my chart that i've felt manifest themselves in real life. simply put, take what resonates and leave what doesn't :)

— sun in hard aspect to neptune can indicate having an (extremely) clouded view of oneself to the point of there being a huge gap in the way they think they're presenting themselves to the world to how they're actually perceived and viewed by other people.

[i have this aspect in square and i've noticed that people perceive me as more than i truly am (more financially-abundant, skilled, smarter than i actually am, etc.) and just make incorrect assumptions about my personality and who i am, in general. i feel that this might be due to the clouded nature of neptune versus the outward nature of the sun which has led to a social manifestation of the unclearness of my inner self and the way i display myself to the world, if that makes sense.]

═ another thing, i don't think people talk enough about how strongly neptune manifests itself in this placement, even among individuals with very little neptunian energy in their charts. daydreaming and just being not fully there plays a large part in who i am, and not even in a cute dumb blonde kinda way, more in an absentminded, head-in-the-clouds kinda way.

☰ sun in the tenth house 🤝🏽 being/wanting to be on a reality tv show!

[i swear as someone w this placement, i often find myself genuinely feeling like yes, if given the chance to do love island/too hot to handle/twenty-somethings/the bachelor— i 100% would.]

☱ mercury in hard aspect to neptune can indicate having a beautiful way w words but also not being able to explain things clearly?? can also manifest itself in just literally being difficult to understand at times, either due to the volume of their voice, way of speaking, or choice of words.

☲ moon opposition mars can exhibit deep emotional turmoil and not being able to handle one's emotions in a calm manner. i find that this manifests itself in the occasional emotional outburst (whether it's more crying or anger or both probably depends on both the moon and mars sign) but yeah— turmoil.

[i have personally experienced multiple events throughout my life where i've gone through public (embarassing, ik) emotional outbursts during stressful situations. luckily, my moon is in cancer so i'm more just a ball of tears, but this has been something that i'm still struggling to control, even as a twenty-one yr old]

☴ having a heavily-aspected chiron (multiple major aspects to personal planets, asc, and mc) and feeling rejected by your family and peers. chiron is the asteroid of wounds, hence a heavy presence in one's chart can indicate multiple emotional wounds involving one's parents, the same/opposite gender, along with inner and outer turmoil.

[tw: mention of suicidal thoughts i have chiron aspecting my sun, moon, venus, mars, and mc (most of them being hard aspects), and have felt suicidal for most of my life. i've never really fit in anywhere and have always been at odds with both the masculine and feminine energies in my life. if you have this placement as well, i genuinely hope you're doing well bc this energy is hard to cope w sometimes.]

[`] film: 千禧曼波 millenium mambo (2001) dir. hou hsiao hsien

next

[nexionswild]

IN WHICH MANEATER!reader admits their feelings for the van der linde boys. [p.2] [p.1]

includes: charles ∿ lenny ∿ sean ∿ bill

content warning: fluff, a little angsty in bill’s part, no pronouns [GN]

a/n: i think half of them are so ooc nd im so sorry omdgshjq i’m still trying to figure out how to write for lenny and sean but i promise i’ll get better with time 🦾

✦ ﹒ charles smith

you caught him off guard, that's for sure..

charles is used to being perceived as intimidating and scary, considering his origins and his size, but that's what you like about him.

he never noticed how you'd stare lovingly whenever he'd explain his cultural way of hunting down animals or practice some other things.

and you never noticed how much he had to turn his head away when he saw you flirting men according to dutch's plan. but charles have dignity, and would admit to have found himself jealous every time you'd coo love words out of those pretty lips of yours.

probably needs time to acknowledge that you're dead serious about this relationship, and really looking forward to it. he's not against it tho, he's just.. surprised.

be ready because those massive hands of his are never leaving your waist the moment he gracefully accepts your confession. like never ever. and he doesn't have any shame either, and maybe he'll refrain from being too much of a sweetie in camp for your sake, given you can be easily embarassed if he surprise you with his loving demeanour, but he won't hold back as soon as the gang members are away.

"my mother taught me all the ways to treat a lover.. i hope it'll meet your expectations."

unfiltered romantic. it makes you blush how much he says the most romantic thing out of pocket and pretend like that never happened.

your name is the only thing that comes out of his mouth every now and then, you know because arthur keeps mentioning how much charles talks about you as if you were the only beautiful thing that's plaguing his mind.

✦ ﹒ lenny summers

lenny is so flustered, i'm sorry, god, he's baby

he probably stammered like a fool after you confessed, why wouldn't he? you're perfect, so perfect and he's just some kid, trying to be a big bad outlaw. perhaps that's what you like about him. he's nervous like a little kitty, and lord knows how much nervous men makes your day.

"i- i.. ahem.. yes, yes, of course!"

you made him so embarassed, i hope you're proud of yourself.

he'll struggle telling you how jealous he felt, it didn't really struck his mind first before you even confessed, i mean, sure he did think you were charming, but he never really bat an eye at your work.

he only got feelings because you were fun to listen to, you didn’t notice how he’d watch you every time you went on your drunken rants. it’s only recently that you found out according to karen.

for most of the part, lenny would rely on you. i mean you can’t blame him, you’re popular. in a way, you are, you’re like dutch. you have a lot of contacts, and charisma, he’s been a bystander. he’s pretty awkward, he doesn’t know what to do, but you find it cute, somehow.

of course, he’ll start to man up eventually when he feels more confident by the time you’ve shown him what you’re most comfortable with in terms of love languages, and he easily adapts himself to it. i mean, he absolutely loves spending time with you, and the amount of patience you put in for him really melts his heart in a way, but he’ll never admit it. ever.

depending on what you’re most comfortable with, lenny would gladly ride all the way to saint-denis for the simple wish of getting you something expensive, or even bring you along with him so you get to choose what you want. something he didn’t expect to see is you using your flirtatious ways of getting an item for free.

“you really know how to fool a man.. please don’t make a fool out of me.”

✦ ﹒ sean macguire

“ha! i knew ya’d fall for me!”

absolutely did not know you’d fall for him.

sean likes to be confident, at least he likes to appear confident. but often mix things up with arrogance, and if you were to call him out on that, he would tone it down a little. he doesn’t mean to be rude to you, he’s genuinely happy, he just doesn’t know how to properly express it.

sean have a loud mouth, and he didn’t hide the fact that he was getting irritated when men were attracted to you, often times he’d be barked at by arthur or john for fucking up your plan for being jealous. he never understood it, he thought he was being a gentleman chasing those creeps away.

he’s a comedian, on accident. you don’t know how to describe it but there’s something really sweet in seeing him ramble to the point where he’s humorous like that. you guess that’s how you fell for him. sean is so honest. and so dumb, too.

what you most love, is when he gets drunk. that’s where he starts to be overwhelmingly affectionate. and the gang teases you about it, but you couldn’t care less. he’s adorable that way! why would you make fun of something as precious as his honesty? especially when he’s slurring on his words, too?

he’s not a charmer with words, and he knows it. that’s why the best he could do to prove his love is by teasing or joking around with you, he’s trying his best.

“these english men keeps bullyin’ ya… just tell me! i’ll shoot ‘em right between thei’ eyes, yeah?”

he wants to look strong and fearless for you, he wants to impress you in every way he can. sometimes, you’d see him getting angry about the fact that he lost something, wether i’d be a fist fight or a game, but the moment he sees you, he gets embarrassed.

you’re the only one who can reassure him that what he failed to achieve doesn’t matter much, the effort is more important.

✦ ﹒ bill williamson

doesn’t believe you. at all.

bill was always made fun of, or teased by others to get a rise out of him. and he doesn’t believe you, because he thinks it’s just another way to make him mad. but he can’t help and think how evil this is, using you, someone he truly admire, to pick on him?

when you insist that you’re not joking, bill starts to get angry. not at you, but it’s just the way he is, he’s trying his best but he’s still in doubt.

given your reputation with men, and how many times he have to ignore you on duty, he just think it’s purely for the entertainment of seeing him falling like a fool. williamson is someone who’s not joking around, and that you know.

“if you love me, why would you?” he snaps. then immediately regrets. he doesn’t wanna lash it out on you, and he’d drink himself to death if he’s actually convinced that you love him that way.

he wants to apologize, but no words are leaving his mouth. and there’s an unbearable amount of pressure on his shoulders by this point, but when you take your time and explain to him the reason behind your fondness, he softens up a tad.

you had the patience to deal with him, surely you were serious?

“fine. i believe you. but i’m warning you, if this is some sick joke, i’ll—… i’ll…”

he won’t do anything.

for the past few weeks, you’ve been awfully affectionate towards him to prove your point. and he complains about it, tho he secretly enjoy having your full undivided attention. every time dutch planned to take him for a mission, you’ve been prepping his saddle and equipments, and when he came back, you’ve welcome him back with your arms open.

and while you were acting like some kind of stay-at-home spouse, bill would be silently protective over you. when you have to talk to men and women and fake another of your identity to wrap them around your finger, bill would silently sit at a table nearby and watch carefully, making sure no one lays a finger on you.

and when you thank him for his care through kisses, all you hear are grumbling noises and a little “you’re welcome”.

he’s just an angry worked up man, but you love him for it. (surprisingly!)

[ironwolfpeace]

Capricorn moon in a woman's chart

There is a raw strength in you, the strength to keep the comforts and pleasures of life aside to build something reliable and lasting. There is honesty in your hard work. You don't fuck around. You hate wasting time and look for opportunities to keep moving forward. Slow but steady, you build. Those who have called you cold couldn't see what you see and didnt feel what you have felt. You have seen people not taking accountability or responsibility for their actions, speech or attitudes. You have witnessed people failing to deliver what they were obliged to. You have seen people act all crazy over useless things and make a huge pointless drama about something that didn't even matter in the long run. You have seen people waste time, waste lives over momentary pursuits and how it ended up affecting the vulnerable and causing so much trauma and unnecessary chaos. You have seen people ridiculing those doing the hard work and praising those who know how to sneak around and scheme and do things by vice means. You have seen the rise of the unhealthy structure-less organisations who run on immoral values that have ended up creating havoc in countless lives.

You have seen shit in life. Those who call you cold can't measure up to perceive the depths of your emotions for very likely they dwell in these immoral organisations and feed on dishonesty every day. Your hardwork can move honest people. Your work can bring stability and security in lives. Don't forget Saturn isn't just a ruthless teacher. There is a purpose to his lessons. And you, who hold this placement in your chart, you deserve to hold that weight of the world because if there is anybody who can carry it, it is you. Others would cry and scream and start whining but you, my lord, know how to keep your head down and keep going. Your work provides you with the protection from getting lost in this world full of ridiculous and abhorrent values and structures. Your work gives you a purpose to not go too into the meaninglessness of the world.

Very likely it isn't the vulnerability or emotional displays that you fear. You may find them uncomfortable because you have seen how much and how long a person can get stuck in their own emotions and fail to do anything practical and useful in this life. You have probably ignored it all because there was work that you needed to do. And yet, vulnerability and gentleness could be traits you look for in a partner for you do seek warmth to come home to after a long day. You wish to be cared for and not treated roughly. You usually don't speak too often about your own emotions but would love to be with somebody who is interested in knowing what you feel from time to time and not love you for your status or achievements. Don't fall for those who take pride in your work for someday, there will be a low moment and these people would be the first to leave you (because they feel embarassed). Go with people who have a stable life of their own and are honest with themselves and others. Go for people who can take the load off your shoulders so that you can have your own moments of rest. Go for people who dont add meaningless chaos into your life but makes it simple and wholesome.

[smytherines]

Rewatching SAF and thinking about the mega bastards lore and oh god, the rizz was alcohol. The rizz was alcohol. Agent Mega you poor beautiful gay baby, I'm so sorry.

Think about it-

A1P1 Agent Mega has the rizz (as the kids call it), he's drinking, he's confident, he's swaggering, he fucks everything up but in a cool way

Arms deal? No alcohol, as far as we know. Massive botch.

Casino scenes? No alcohol, drinks a glass of cream, complete fucking absence of game to an embarassing degree, can't even tell that Tatiana is very very obviously flirting

I haven't gotten back around to Doing This, but I don't remember any alcohol in that scene? He's trying so hard to be the person Tatiana (and his mom) expect him to be, but he's still heartbroken and probably going through alcohol withdrawal (which is so much worse than most people realize), so he screws that up so badly that Tatiana realizes he is not into women the moment he kisses her.

He was drinking even before the fall, to manage all of this. This works so strongly with ADHD Agent Mega headcanon too, like of course this guy has intense rejection sensitive dysphoria- he's gay and a disaster.

The defensiveness, the insecurity, the jealousy, he's constantly trying to be the thing people want him to be, but because he's uncomfortable and impulsive and drinking to manage that constant pressure, he fucks up a lot, which just makes everyone criticize him more.

And being gay, he believes (with good reason) that everyone in his life would reject him if they knew who he really was. He wouldn't be allowed to do the one thing he feels like he is good at, and pre-banana at least, the one thing that grants him access to Owen.

So he drinks. He drinks to turn off that constant stream of anxiety over how others perceive him, whether they think he's cool or competent or straight. He drinks and seduces women because that's his job. His job is the thing he is good at. He wants to be good at something. He wants to feel like a real important guy.

Not to write a fanfic on tumblr dot com but you can kind of imagine him thinking about Owen wistfully, having a 4th or 5th drink, and then going up to a random lady's hotel room to do his job. That's heartbreaking.

Oh god. And One More Shot. He falls pretty spectacularly off the wagon, drinking until he's totally drunk, and he says shit like "I feel so good inside," and "I feel the feeling coming back to me now." Like yes. That feeling is alcohol. You're feeling the effects of alcohol, buddy.

The rizz was alcohol.

[voidsuites]

Literally too embarassed to send an ask without being anon BUT I just needed to come here and say that I am completely, utterly, totally obsessed with your challengers bots (although I never really saw the patrick ones... sorry). Right now i am in some kind of Art obsession with your bots and I CANNOT explain how much times I did the baby daddy one and the house party GOD THEY'RE GOOD

literally obsessed you and yam are just chef kiss when it comes to challengers bots and honestly all the other ones too in love love

HIIIIIIII!!!!! you are so so SO sweet— no need to worry about anon lol i get it. i do not like being perceived at ALL hahaha (also the yam comparison… i could kiss u fr that’s crazy)

and yes omg my art obsession has only grown with this recent release (we all have preferences lol dw about not liking the patrick ones) i <3 art donaldson sm. baby daddy is probably my FAV art bot that i’ve done, but rewind / cheat day / jealous, jealous, jealous boy are def runner-ups!

i’m so obsessed with you. thank you so so much <3

[moonstruckme]

Hi Mae! I’m gonna ramble in your inbox for a sec don’t mind me

So it’s graduation season (as you are very aware, congrats btw!!) and I just graduated high school today and it was great but it was also really sad (and I’m aware this is very dumb to complain about because a lot of people have no one around them to support them and I am very lucky because I do) but I was there alone up until the ceremony started and my family came to watch.

And I know that I wasn’t the only one getting ready alone but it made me kinda sad to see all these kids with their parents helping them get ready and taking care of them and I didn’t have that. And I know that it’s not because my parents don’t love me, they just always have so much going on and I’ve always kinda had to look after myself and I’m usually fine. (And realistically I know if they were there it would probably be way more stressful) but for some reason it just made me really sad. I was struggling to get all my stuff on right so much that the girl in front of me had to help T-T and I just kept thinking that I wish I had a mom there.

Thankfully I had friends there who were looking after me too (one of them gave me free rein of his chocolate pretzels ♥️) and my teachers were all really great but I was literally on the verge of tears all day bc of all the emotions T-T

Also a random guy saw me waiting after the ceremony by myself and just said “congratulations, kiddo” i literally almost started bawling 😭 so I am very lucky that I had more support than a lot of other people, I was just kinda lonely for a bit. (I really hope this doesn’t come across like I’m ungrateful rip)

Anyways that’s all!! I hope things are going well for you!

Hi lovely, I don't think that's dumb to complain about at all!

I actually think I really get where you're coming from, my parents are divorced and often I find it easier to tell them I'm just going to do things on my own rather than mediate who will be with me at what time and where, so lots of the big parent-centered events in my life have been by myself too. I understand that you want to give them credit where it's due, and I think it's a good thing that you still know how much they love and care for you but it's totally understandable to feel sad regardless.

It's so kind and considerate of others to try and step in for you when they see you don't have the support they do, but I know that in the moment that also doesn't always feel great. When I was little my dad never wanted to come to anything and often my friends' dads would take turns doing the thing with me so I didn't feel left out, and that was so so sweet of them but I was pretty embarassed at the time! It's not nice to feel pitiful, and the idea that people are perceiving the same thing as you are in your parents' absence probably didn't make you feel better.

Like you said, none of that detracts from how loved you truly are, and it sounds like you know this already but it seems like you also have all this excess love pouring in from the people around you!! I'm incapable of not looking for silver lining, and to me all those kind people are definitely something to be grateful for, but also I think it's okay to let yourself mope a little if you want to my love. Don't deny how you feel because you think it's dumb or unjustified or anything of the kind! I promise you it's very valid.

Congratulations on your graduation sweetheart!! I'm sure your family are all very proud of you, as well as the friends who were there for you on the day (and me too!!). I hope you enjoy a lovely summer and take some time to reward yourself for all your hard work before whatever comes next <3

[starjxsung]

I know I'm ruining myself with this but *inhales* I'm gonna ask for a reaction *exhales*

I'm going through the screenshots I have of my conversations with my ex. one time, his friend/housemate who is younger than him called me hyung's new gf and it was so cute to me and him

now I knoooow I'll be sobbing at it but how do you think skz would react to another member calling you something like that? like idk how the use of a "possessive noun" to refer to you would make them feel

btw I should learn how to talk, I explain way too much for every word to make sure there's no miscommunication cause traaauma~

- ☾

AW that’s so cute (but also fuck ur ex. real) ALSO THE LINK YOU SENT DOES NOT WORK 💔 IT SAYS PAGE NOT VALID

Chan: would love this shit lmfaooo he strikes me as the type whose interest is piqued by what the others perceive his relationships to be like & he’s all “really??” When they give their options. He’s fascinated with the prospect of a new nickname finding its way into your relationship and he’ll jokingly say it to you all the time

Minho: FLUSTEREDDD as hell. Something embarassing to him about people perceiving his relationships and creating labels. But behind closed doors he’s really into it and he’s kinda proud (verges on cocky) about everyone taking notice of his relationship

Changbin: is like. Yeah. Yup. That’s her! Genuinely doesn’t shut up about it the first time he hears it. Probably makes his friends call you that from then on out and runs it into the GROUNDDDD

Hyunjin: also flustered, but more in a shy way. I get the vibe labels almost scare him, so when other people bring up possessive nouns first, he’s almost embarrassed he hadn’t established it first. If you’re comfy w it, he’s comfy too. But it takes him a little bit to get fully used to it

Jisung: gives me the vibe that he’d absolutely fucking love it LMAO I think he’d subtly try to get people to call him it like several more times after & almost brags about it every chance he gets. Not usually the possessive type but definitely likes if he gives off that vibe and earns the title

Felix: shocked the first time he hears it tbh. Mostly wants to make sure you’re comfortable with it and tries to not show how excited he is about it until you’re like “yeah that’s fine”. If you are fine with it, he’s kinda like Jisung in that it’s a sense of pride for him and he’s really happy to have gotten you the title. Just more cutesy about it than prideful

Seungmin: will act like he’s not down for it. But definitely won’t mind if people call you it again ! I think he really likes the sense of security it adds to the relationship. Like a “she’s really mine?” Sorta feeling. I feel like it’d bring you closer tbh

Jeongin: finds it funny ! He’s like ???? The first time he hears it which probably makes his friends fall you it even more just for fun. Kinda becomes a common thing among all of you, but he’ll always hit people with the “stoppp” whenever he hears it. Not mad at it or anything, just a little shy and protective

[neoncityrain]

Silly little question; I know he likes chocolate, but what are Pol’s thoughts on white chocolate? And has Muenos ever thought of buying Pol one of those chocolate packs for valentines’ day or some other special occasion?

OHHH I HADNT THOUGHT OF EITHER OF THOSE BEFORE..... polaris would go WILD over white chocolate tbh. waaaay too sickeningly sweet for most but for polaris? perfect. showstopping. amazing. this said he will probably explode into a million tiny pieces from embarassment if he is Perceived Enjoying Something

and honestly? muenos would not even hesitate to buy pol chocolate. he likes to see polaris happy, even if pol doesnt always like others seeing him happy! i could see pol fussing over muenos daring to BUY HIM THINGS (hypocrite), so muenos "accidentally" "leaves out" things that pol likes so that polaris can "sneakily" "steal" it when its NOT a special occasion.

...then muenos calls him out on it to fluster him. lol

[just-an-enby-lemon]

hello! i only just saw your reply and wanted to say that i agree with you about not entirely trusting King with topics like suicide especially not in a comic like his One Bad Day oneshot that is so edgy and focused on writing dark and violent scenes for pure shock value with no depth.

as for the last part of the rewrite ideas, i wanted to try and keep it brief, but it still ended up too long so i have to send the last two scenes separately again, sorry :

after Batman had talked with the mother (+ subsequent past flashback) , after he talked to the distressed widow of the civilian that died and after the flashback following that scene, we get the scene of Batman seeking out the father. that one i think can stay mostly the same, except that the father doesn't get framed as just a sad old man that tried his best but got punished with an evil demon as a son. maybe that is what he seems to be at first in the scene, since it is what he sees himself as and what he wants to be perceived as, but then reveals his vindictive side so it is shown that when he presented himself as a 'loving' father that just wanted the best for his child, that is something he convinced himself and everyone else of, but not the truth. that switch might happen because, after initially just talking about how well meaning of a father he was, wanting only the best for his son, the best education, pushing for academic success to feed his son's 'potential' and ensure a good future for him etc., he starts saying how that 'was all for nothing', how instead of a lauded academic his son became a 'carnival performer', dressing up in a ridiculous costume with a ridiculous persona, wasting his time and intellect with games, childish wordplays and excentric criminal plots that he doesn't even succeed at most of the time, 'completely embarassing himself' and, more importantly in his opinion, embarassing his father by association. at that point it becomes clear that he does not care about the victims at all, he doesn't even really care about the crimes, it is all about how he it makes him look if that is what his son is like and it too becomes clear that he would have hated Edward the same way even if he wasn't a criminal but just a harmless playful eccentric (he would probably be ableist about it too) because he never wanted a son, he only wanted a genius that he could show off. Of course he would never entertain the possibility that his own actions could have been a negative influence in any way so instead, showing how vindictive and bigoted he is, he blames it on Edward's mother, saying that he should have 'expected' the child to turn out 'wrong' when his mother was poor and had the job she had etc. Batman, a well written one at least, would not stand for that and cut him off in his angry insults and shifting of blame, making it clear that the things the father said are bigoted and wrong. the father might even say something about 'getting stuck with a child that was born evil' etc., which Bruce would shut down too, since it is dangerous bioessentialist drivel (as opposed to the original that implies that the father was right and Edward really was just a born evil sadist), that he was 'too soft' of a father and should have been even harsher in the punishment of his son. he might even put blame on Batman himself for 'not just killing Edward when he had the chance' etc., which in a meta sense would open the option to comment on Bruce's no-kill rule. Batman should be a protector of victims anyways, of any victims. He would not let someone say these things about someone that had no choice in a bad or complicated situation, like Ed's mother did, or let an abuser talk that way about his victim, even if that victim grew up to be a bad person, and he especially would not let anyone say that he should just kill the criminals and that death would be the best option for them. otherwise he is just some grimdark edgelord Punisher copy. either way, Batman has had enough of wasting time with him as it is ticking and he can't be sure that Edward won't kill someone else, since clearly something is wrong as random violence without any clues is not how his crimes usually go. So he asks one last question, if his father knows where Ed might be, to which the father, timid now, replies that he doesn't know and doesn't care since he hasn't spoken a word to his son in over 30 years, since back at the boarding school.

Now there is another flashback, the one with the scene in the empty office, showing just what effects his father's abuse had on Ed as a kid and that the whole 'born evil' thing can not be true, just in case anyone still had doubts about that. after that, back in the present, it is the morning of the next day. Bruce had been spending his night researching the boarding school and decided that the next person he should talk to for more clues on Edward's whereabouts is his old teacher (who in this version did not get brutally murdered by a 14 year old Ed because that was weird and edgy). but before he goes to talk to the teacher, Bruce attends the funeral of the civilian, where he again meets the widow, like in the original comic. i don't really remember what they talked about during the cemetary scene in the original so it is probably fine to keep most of it? it would have to be something about how the GCPD and media (and in this widow's opinion also Batman) treats the victims as pawns in a game that the rogues are playing and not like real people that had families, now with added commentary about how Batman does or should care about the victims first and foremost. maybe some discussion about the no-kill rule again, too, this time the argument for it coming from a place of grief instead of prejudice, so Bruce would defend his choice not to kill from a more nuanced standpoint, to drive the point about it being the right choice home even more from a metanarrative point of view. the scene could end with the widow, after giving Bruce's explanation some consideration, admitting that he is right that killing the criminals is just vengeance and not a solution either, but as she walks away from him she says something like "I just hope he [Batman] knows this is not a game.." ? after that another past flashback, this time kid Ed having gone back to obeying his father, who treats him even worse now that his grades had slipped and barely even acknowledges his son's existence anymore. he is trying to be his father's perfect academic emotionless genius again but finds that he can't fully go back to that, even if he forces himself to, as some part of him does miss the games and riddles and fun, desperately so, and it might even include a nod to his ocd by showing him develop those self soothing rituals and compulsions?

this is long again , unfortunately longer than i thought it would, so the last scenes will be separate again but i am curious about your thoughts on this part and how to deal with Bruce's talk with the father; this is fun and thanks for your patience

Sorry. I read your post yesterday but I wasn't in right headspace to answer it (or do much of anything rly) but I took my meds, slepped a lot, baby talked with my aunts fish and am a-okay now.

About the re-write itself. I really loved it and specially how the whole idea that super-heros are supposed to inspire the best in people shinne through. Bruce can be a person with flaws without this being that he isn't Punisher like enough and doesn't believe in bioessexialism bs. I also preffer this version where the encounter with the dad lead to nothing. How he alienated himself so much with his prejudice that even though it appeared he would be the key for Edward's actions he just can't truly offer anything to Bruce.

Edward not killing his teacher as 14 it's such a improvement. I do find a little funny that the little nerd with noodle arms killed a whole adult by punching him really hard. It's not the wort part of that scene whatsoever but it still breaks the ilusion of realism that they used to justify the grimdark (a thing that had happened a lot on the present already but not in the past), they could made so he used a blunt object (that wasn't a basketball), maybe change to a basebol field and make he use the bat. It would still be a ridiculous scene that come sort of nowhere for extra edgyness but at least it wouldn't completly break the only defend the OCCness had sorta going for them. That's to say I'm glad the teacher is alive.

Also don't thank me for my patience. I looove this asks. It's not a hardship at all. I that should be thanking you for sharing your wonderfull ideas.

Answering your question I think I would start the talk the same way: with the dad waiting with a gun (that in the comic was used for us to pity him?) paranoic that Edward will come and kill him and ready to kill Riddler first. When he sees is only Batman he calms a bit and goes "I was asking when you would come" so he starts telling about himself about how he was a loving father that saw how much potential his son had and did all he could, sacrificed it all for his son to suceed but unfortunally his son wasted it by dressing like a "carnival attraction" and going around playing games, that he is an embarassement to himself and to his father, I think I would use this scene as a contrast with the widow scene and how HE sees the senseless violence and murder in Gotham as a game maybe have him coment than even worst Edward was losing. He couldn't even be a winner in his new occupation. It's all about his image. Than when Batman goes "you know that what his son is doing isn't a game right" he goes dismissive and says something like "sure for us normal people but from someone born like him being a good criminal it's the best I could expect, at least than I would be the father of Boonie and Clyde or of Jack the Rippler or the antichrist or the Joker but no even in his evil he chooses to be pathetic" wich breaks any ilusion he might ever bejnf a good guy so Batman - rembering Edward's question to his mom on this rewrite verse - while visibly angry tries to calm down and asks what does he means with "Born like him" and the father goes "Evil. I should have expected surely with a mother of that stirpe. Maybe than I wouldn't have been so soft. Maybe I could've truly beat the evil out of him?" Maybe even add that he should just killed the baby and Bruce says that people aren't born evil that this is buoessebcialism pseudoscience and if this is what he believes it surely explains why he is alone and scared in an empty room waiting to confront a son that will never come back even for vegeance and the dad reacts to the world by saying that of course Batman would think like this since Batman is weak and just as crazy as the rest and that if he was trully a hero he would have killed Edward when he had the chance "and the rest of those masked weirdos to bolt" Batman just looks at him and says something about how the man just doesn't truly knows anything helpfull and is just too full of hate to realize that this is driving him to misery (maybe a hint that this could have been Batman if he decided that the death of his parents meant that rehabilitation wasn't possible and didn't had Alfred guiding him and later the robins). The man says "you are wrong" and Batman goes "do you have anything to say about where Riddler is or what he is planning?" and the guy admitis he doesn't and Bruce says "then I was right."

[emero0]

THIS I HAVE THOUGHTS

So i made up this whole scenario where tsukasa slowly starts experimenting n stuff

He goes and buys a skirt (“its for my sister—“) the employees like sure whatever (bonus points if its akito)

He tries it on and likes it

At some point he goes to the wonderstage wayy early before practice and tries on a stage wig they had laying around

He says “well i might as well try on the character outfit too” (im picturing long blond hair styled like minoris lightfes (idk the lilykasa set) with a victorian esc out ((picture: the villainess from that one isekai anime))

The others all show up at the same time (emu caught rui + nene at the gate)

It goes as follows:

Tsukasa strutting on stage and posing about

Nene: uh hey miss? you know you cant be here right? We need to practice—

Rui: *nods or something- proud nene is talking so outwardly to a stranger probably*

Emu: yeah you should— hey wait isn’t that one of the stage wigs?

Nene: oh yeah, and thats one of the old outfits we haven’t used yet too..

Tsukasa, still flabbergasted and struggling to explain because omg they didnt recognize omg ‘miss’ wait shit how do i explain this and oh god im in trouble,

…

T: So uh uhm, i may have made a realization about myself—

Emu: TSUKASA-KUN?!?!! You’re so pretty!! :0

Tsukasa: really!?!! You think that (oh shes smiling and so embarassed rn)

Rui: ah, i see whats happening here

R: well dont worry tsukasa-kun, we support you and however you wish to be perceived

Nene: yeahhhh- we still need to practice though so maybe change into something easier to move in. Also its summer you’ll get heat stroke with that thing im sure of it

Tsukasa: RIGHT! YES! WILL DO- BYE

(Shes still a little flustered from being caught but also glad that wxs supports her :D)

This is so rushed and also probably ooc (its also late my brains frying a little) but i wanted to rant before i forgot

trans fem kasa is such a. thing. i think about often.

hes always been the other brother, thats what he is!! the older brother!! THE brother!! hes rhe older brother and caretaker. and him being a brother to saki is so so important to him, so what happens when he starts to feel less and less connected to his masculinity?

he ignores it. because hes tsukasa

but also. he never turns down opportunities to do more 'feminine' stuff, like wearing dresses or having his makeup and nails one, and he always plays it off as just not caring but he loves it

and obviously he convinces himself he doesnt

do you think hed sew together the costumes and try them on himself, including the feminine ones? do you think hed look in the mirror, thinking about going on stage as the HEROINE without a hint of regret? do you think hed feel guilty for not being whats expected from the overly confident, never faltering future star AND brother?

of course not!! because tsukasa tenma is THE brother and star of all time who would never not feel comfortable with who he is (lie)

hes probably got some internal transphobia

and itd take a while for tsukasa to tell anyone else this, ans itd take a while for her to understand and accept that she is infact a HER, but its like any other challenge shes overcome :) shes strong!!

sorry if someones already spoken abt tfemkasa b4 i didnt check behe i have lots of thoughts about her

TRANSFEM KASA!!!!!!! i love transfem tsukasa

[tetrisfinished]

apologies

what do you think is the appropriate response to someone when they apologize to you?

i used to think the only appropriate response to an apology was embarrassment/shame/guilt. and frankly, it's the only way i genuinely felt whenever someone apologized to me about anything.

but why? why was i ashamed that someone was apologizing to me for something that probably did (in all honesty) upset me? because it has/had been ingrained in me that i am/was the world's...punching bag.

perhaps punching bag is too harsh an image.

but i am the receiver of the world. i am very rarely meant to be the giver. i am not meant to take space in the world. i am not meant to make my presence known or heard.

if someone made me feel bad or upset about something, i used to (and still do, but am actively trying to stop) internalize the hurt.

what do i mean by that? let me illustrate using an example.

for example; let's say someone was snarky with me. and as a result, i was upset by it. later when i tried to examine why i was upset, my brain told me and reassured me one or both of these things:

i was at fault for their behaviour.

OR (but usually AND)

2. i might have perceived snarkiness but actually my perception was totally off.

but as i grow older and go to therapy and understand adulthood - i'm finding that this method never gives me any sort of closure over the thing that happened. and actually internalizing my hurt just makes me grow more and more upset and resentful.

and that's not healthy.

so now i am re-evaluating the correct response for someone to apologize to me. and the first step, i'm finding, in stopping myself for feeling guilt or shame or embarassment when someone does apologize is...actually nothing to do with anyone else.

it's to do with me.

now, i am taking up space in the world. consciously. purposefully.

if i find myself getting upset, instead of trying to convince myself of either of the two things i stated above - i allow myself to be upset.

i convince myself i AM upset. and that my feelings are in fact VALID. and that's okay.

and this next part, i know i should be doing, but i'm not there yet....i need to learn to validate my feelings and move on from them without any expectation of external validation. i need to accept that something i experienced with someone else made me feel a certain way. and that's okay and i'm human. and really, i can decide to continue to be with that person without saying anything and actively choose to brush off these scenarios or i can address my hurt with the person.

if i choose the former, it's no ones fault but my own that i continue to actively accept their behaviour. i have made a conscious choice to do so and if the behaviour continues and/or gets worse....well maybe someday i can grow a pair and address it.

if i choose the latter...i also still have to grow a pair and decide after i address it with the person and understand their reaction (which i SHOULD believe), whether it was acceptable for me. if it was, great! if it wasn't...i need to move on from the person/relationship etc - simple. as. that.

except not simple. probably a super tough thing to do. but on paper - simple. as. that.

in any case, bringing the whole point back to the beginning.

IF i am hurt, and i acknowledge my pain, and i choose to go the route of bringing up my hurt with the offender AND they have the appropriate reaction of also validating my feelings and acknowledging that they have caused me pain and they APOLOGIZE - THEN what are the appropriate reactions to that apology?

well, for starters - it is no longer shame or embarassment or guilt. now, i'm forcing myself to look that person in the eyes and thank them. because my self respect won't allow me to be ashamed for my feelings anymore.

it is not necessary, i feel, for me to accept their apology, or force myself to feel better, or act as if everything is fixed just as a result of them apologizing. however, i do think it is necessary to thank them.

the first couple of times this happened, the thank you came automatically because it felt right. but afterwards i always wondered why i was saying thank you? is that appropriate?

and now i'm understanding - yes. it is appropriate. i'm not thanking them for apologizing - ACTUALLY, i'm thanking them for acknowledging. acknowledging that my feelings were hurt and that i was upset.

so what is the only appropriate and necessary response to a sincere apology (you be the judge of that for yourself)?

a thank you.

give yourself grace to feel your feelings. ride out your wave of anger or upset or hurt or sadness. choose to accept the apology and continue with this person or choose to reject the apology and steer clear of them. do whatever you want. but remember still to thank them for acknowleding your feelings and validating your hurt.

because you'd be surprised just how many of us don't even give ourselves the same grace. so go on and have some self respect. take your space in the world. allow whatever discomfort it might cause anyone else to happen because you're making your place.

and say thank you for the apology that you know you deserved.

much love,

k

[noctomania]

Hi - it me - Bobo the fool.

I don't know why I exist or where I'm going, but along the way I will do whatever i can to create memories that will haunt me forever of how i do and say stupid things as if my verbal dialogue is being written by some foolish teenager with fumbling hands and a lack of any concept of grammar or storytelling. Just trying to emulate how people talk.

Person: "Hi! Thank you for xyz"

Me: "Well yanno a fart in the hand is worth a shit in the shorts!"

Person: "I- uh..."

Me: "Something borrowed something blue something old something new! Til death do us part"

Person: