#probably someone died and they didnt get to finish their project

[jitterbugbear]

ooh found 20 granny squares in the thrift shop for like 5€, now i just need to figure out a project where i can use them!!

[quodekash]

OKAY I HAVE ONE HOUR BEFORE THE OS2 MSP EPISODE COMES OUT SO HOPEFULLY I CAN FINISH THE ABAAB EPISODE BEFORE THEN, imma try to dial it down on the commentary so that its faster 

(also fun fact, i tried to do the mouthfuls of water when i mention how pretty anyone or their hair is thing that i suggested. and i had 48 mouthfuls of water and an immediate need to pee and i was worried that throughout the night i would suddenly become a 3 year old child and pee my bed. anyway.) 

AH SHOOT YEAH THE NOTE HE LEFT 

where the hell did cher go 

we’re probably about to find out but i wanna formulate my thoughts first 

(dang it now im thinking of first kanaphan bc i said ‘first’ STAY ON TRACK STAY ON TRACK STAY ON TRACK) 

presumably hes gone back to like his home town thingy 

but... why 

i have no idea 

we shall see 

OH, STUFF YOU 

VAFFANCULO TU OMOFOBO PEZZO DI MERDA 

LA DETESTO, DETESTO MOLTO 

LEI PUÒ MORIRE IN UNA BUCA FREDDA E BUIA ALL’INFERNO, PER FAVORE 

STRDYTCFUVJYHKB

“you two are not a good match” LIES, LIIEEEESSS 

NOOOOOO HE IS SADDDDDD 

HHHWHYYYYY 

“take care of your health” i love jack so much 

guys we’re nearly 6 minutes in and i havent mentioned jack’s hair ONCE 

okay well i just did BUT THAT DOESNT COUNT 

THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION 

I EXERCISED ✨RESTRAINT✨ 

“please tell him dont be too hard on yourself, and take care” AWWJRGKHB 

poor dude misses cher so much he keeps hallucinating him 

at this point the real cher is gonna show up and he’s gonna think its one of his hallucinations for goodness sake 

gun, go to therapy 

hes so pretty tho 

i love him 

and you didnt have a chance to say goodbye? because you didnt know it was a goodbye? and you desperately want to see him again but youre also terrified of that ever possibly happening because you know itll mean there’s going to be a goodbye, either that day or just at some point in the future, there will always be a goodbye, and you dont know if its worse to never get a chance to say goodbye or being forced to say goodbye against your own will? and youve had too many goodbyes in your life to know how to deal with it but you keep forgetting to bring this up with your psychologist when you see her once a month? 

whaaaat, me? projecting? no wayyyyy 

i love porsche 

porsche and gun are like lesbians 

that makes sense somehow 

porschegun are lesbians 

i will not elaborate 

“you, thyme, and cher. everyone left me. i have no one left.” jEEZ THAT ONE REALLY STABBED ME IN THE HEART SIX TIMES 

KILL MEEEEEEEEE 

whaaaat i have attachment issues? my psychologist said i have high signs of separation anxiety, like im a dog? noooooo waaaaaayyyyyyyy 

bro

DANG IT OF COURSE THAT WAS A DREAM 

“hes been drinking his old coffee for five days in a row” HOLY HELL HES NOT OKAY SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE OR SOMETHING 

i love him

and his hair 

sorry, i know i said i would dial it down but the episode is nearly over and it wouldnt be an abaab commentary post if i didnt mention and screenshot jack’s hair AT LEAST once. 

HES JUST SO PRETTY 

just. look at his face. appreciate his face. and his hair. 

JACK’S SAD LITTLE SMILE AND THEN HE LOOKS AWAY- IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH 

CHER!! :DD 

and... yacht???? (seriously, IS that his name) 

HIS FREAKING BLUE HAIR IS SO PRETTY WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL 

second best hair in this show 

“without you, my tiny room seems tremendous” FIHREBGKJB 

GROUP MOMENT 

THREEZOOOOOO 

PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH 

“you’re making us horny” GIUERDBJSGOIRE THIS IS SO FUNNY WHAT THE HELL 

HE IS AMAZING 

AND ZO’S LITTLE FINGER SHAKE DSFDSGSGD 

MY BOI IS GRADUATINGGGGG 

MY BOI IS SEEING HIS BOY 

JRGFJFNGGFVC 

A WONDERFUL END TO THE EPISODE 

THAT WAS EXCELLENT 

I LOVE THEM 

aight time for msp in like. five minutes. 

[zaptap]

biggest impact nintendo wfc shutting down had on me was i couldnt do the dns cheat in pokemon anymore (if you changed the dns settings you could connect to an alternate server that would give you a pokemon whenever you connected to the gts. people would set up servers with all sorts of event pokemon, and there was even a site where you could have it gen something for you)

i remember making a list of all the legendary pokemon from gens 4-5 (1-3 i could just clone in emerald) and making sure i set aside enough to cover both the upcoming hoenn remake (i forget if those had been announced by the time i was doing this, but i knew they had to be coming) and pokemon z (ok these ones are actually still in pokemon bank. whenever we get z, like in gen 10 or in 3000 years or whatever, they're ready to go in)

and other than that, i tried out an online battle in smash bros brawl for the first time just a bit before wfc died (after getting it the previous summer) and that was it. i used to play online in mario kart ds, but i lost that game in 2010 so i didnt have it at that point

......but 3ds and wii u online is another story. i don't even know if i've worked out exactly what all of my unfinished online business is. i had so many more 3ds and wii u games than ds and wii, and i feel like in general those had more online functionality too

this time at least, pokemon isn't immediately affected--i'm still trying to focus more on that living dex project again, but at least the potential bank closure time is at least later than april. i guess i should go into the gts in pokemon x and see if someone traded me that sandstorm vivillon i asked for (or at least get whatever other form it is)

so i should probably focus on like... going back and finishing miitopia (or at least getting far enough to not need to search for new miis? but at that point i might as well finish probably). and uh... damn do i have to make a list of every single game i have and cross out all the ones that dont have something online that i want to do?

i guess maybe i should go into acnl and visit a ton of dream towns. i didnt do that too much and itd be nice to get those badges (and pretendo would only be capable of adding new dream town uploads, not using existing ones, so all of the cool dream towns that are there will be lost forever)

[incognetomisquito]

Oh god i have so many

Hi, 👋 just finished my freshman year and it was fantastic

I met people who /get/ me, my roommate and my boyfriend especially. Whenever i make a stupid reference there’s a 90% chance someone will join in. We spent the whole year saying Go Piss Girl whenever one of us went to pee

This was gonna be a list, but imma just share my favorite story:

My car battery kept dying (when they replaced it the first time, it was too small, and kept draining) so I kept having to ask my now boyfriend to jumpstart/fiddle with the engine) One day we were trying to figure out the issue, and he had to check something in the driver panel. So i got out, closed the door so he could squeeze through btwn my car and his. And realized… the doors were locked. We had the car running, hood popped, and locked the key inside. The spare was at my moms house.

When i tell you i died laughing

So then we googled ways to open the lock, and found the idea of using a wire hanger. I had one, but only jewelry pliers to work with. We must’ve spent like 20 minutes trying to jimmy the lock, my roommate came down, and we kept cracking aborting the car jokes. And hitting the g-spot jokes. There were a lot of jokes XD

Then the police showed up. We assured him it was indeed my car, and he asked if we wanted help. But we were determined to open that fucker on our own, so he sat back and said alright, tell me when you give up

We were so FRIKIN CLOSE to opening that thing, got the hanger in the door and everything, but we couldn’t reach the stupid window roller. So we did give up 😔. Police guy got it open super fast, he had an actual tool for it

After that, we rolled down the windows to prevent locking out again. And then i realized i could easily climb on the roof of my car, and I spent the rest of the afternoon chilling on the roof while the boyf fiddled with the engine.

But that afternoon was probably the highlight of my year. It was nice and sunny out, a Sunday, i had nowhere pressing to be, no homework due the next day. We spent it laughing and saying stupid shit, figuring out a tricky situation that was 100% my own fault. It was awesome :)

I lied, heres the rest of the list, because i cant shut up:

- i stole the bluetooth speaker from my drawing professor, and fully had control of the music during class. I renamed it in my phone, and he never turns it off, i always have access.

- i would show up before even the teacher some mornings, and i played “me party” to an empty classroom. The professor walked in on “man or muppet”

- we heard a snowcone truck from our dorm once, ran down 2 flights of stairs, and chased it a few blocks, because they were driving away from campus. Then, as we were walking back to the dorm, it passed us. Because it was doing a loop. And we didnt have to run lmao

- i climbed many many trees. And my roommate joined me. Last week, we had a dorm party, and the two of us formed a boyband in a tree. We got our RA to join the boyband, and she hung out up there with us for a bit

- roommate discovered you can scratch doodles into a bananas skin, and debuted it by carving a Poop banana. I turned that into a final project for my Socially Engaged art class and my teacher took a picture of me eating a banana with the tv behind me displaying “poop” “gay sex” and a drawing of mario and sonic making out. She loved the project, i got an A.

- joined pep band, and now a lunch worker always says “hey drummer lady!” because she saw me jumping around while playing quads

I cant say anything about the professors, it differs per school and per department. I lucked out, im going for illustration, and my schools art department is absolutely fantastic, while my roommates department isnt too great. But even with shitty professors, it can be amazing.

Good luck!

hi!! does anyone have any lovely/fun/awesome/silly/interesting uni stories they'd like to share? I'm starting uni in two months and I'm feeling pretty nervous having just come out of high school and having had a pretty shit overall experience with the education system so far!!! I'd love it if people could tell me some stuff they love/loved about uni so I can get excited for it like I want to be [:

[realmikedirnt]

today has just been so much.

i missed an appointment, and usually that means a $100 fee, but my therapist waived it for me. work wasnt bad, but one of my coworkers hates her job and even though she's nice to me i wish she were able to quit. when i got home i lost out on an in-game house i wanted, and then had to see some awful discourse that put me in a bad mood. my hockey team won a game in overtime that they probably should have won in regulation, but two points is two points. im close to finishing a writing project for real for the first time in months, and i feel both really proud and dumb about being so excited because it's taken me so long to get like 600 words done.

i work at a like. retirement home, a pretty nice one. i dont interact with residents usually, but one of the things i do is roll this giant cart of the day's cardboard out to the recycling dumpster

i tend to notice the decorations and stuff residents have up, they have a little shelf in front of their doors and they can hang up art and whatever

today i noticed that one of the ones i always liked seeing was getting taken down, the shelf that used to have flowers on it had some random stuff and a "please take - free" sign on it

usually that means someone died. or is at least sick enough that they're moving to more intensive care (where i work is all independent living, so residents are mostly mobile/active/not in need of nursing care)

i checked with my boss. the woman who lived there did die. she was Jewish. back in december one day during Hanukkah i had to get my cart throught a little gathering that had been set up in one of the community areas in the halls. on my way back she was one of the people who made me stop and wouldnt let me go back to work until i had some of the food she offered me. she said hi to me one other time when i was pushing the cart back. she had a family tree displayed on the wall in front of her apartment. she had art with Hebrew writing on it, although i dont know what it said. she had a pretty little purple mezuzah next to her door. i loved seeing all of it. i love seeing the rooms with little evidences of the person inside. i love that i work somewhere that she joyfully displayed all of it.

i wrote a note for her family. saying that she had been kind to me and i was sorry she was gone. that i hoped her memory would be a blessing to them. her daughter read it, and someone came to find me to take me to meet her. im glad it was recieved well. i didnt know her but she made my work days a little better even though i barely saw her. just by living the way she did and leaving evidence of it.

[kat-got-lost]

HERES ANOTHER SELF PROJECTION BLURB, DREAM TEAM WITH A S/O WHO HAS TROUBLE THINKING BEFORE THEY SPEAK SOMETIMES

can be interpreted as poly but there's no big blurb abt all of them together like there normally is, just separate little scenarios/blurbs for each of them :]

warnings: couple nsfw jokes but for the most part it's all sfw

dream team with a partner who has trouble filtering what they say. whether it being because of ADHD or they're just hyper and have trouble fully thinking abt words before they come out of their mouth you can decided. admittedly it's not always the best thing since sometimes the stuff that comes out can come off as rude or mean, but the boys know you don't always mean the stuff you say and it just happens. (doesn't mean you don't apologize and reassure them though, because remember everyone, things like troubles thinking before you speak or anything like that can be an explanation but never an excuse, if you've accidentally hurt someone's feelings apologize and talk it out :)

dream is very understanding, and if you dont like him teasing you about it he won't and will instead smile whenever something slips past your filter and give you a little kiss. if however you are okay with him doing a little bit of teasing ooh boy are you in for a ride. he likes to do things to fluster you to see what you'll do. his personal favorite thing to do is to sneak up behind you while you're doing something, grab your waist and whisper into you're ear. it's never really anything explicit, normally just a "hi sweetheart" or a "my hoodie looks really good on you" he then turns you around and grabs your chin to make you look up at him. he kind of just looks you up and down while smirking and goes "whatcha thinking about baby?" to which you reply with "HAHA NOTHING YOURE JUST REALLY FUCKING HOT 😀" your eyes go wide realizing what you just said and dream is folded over wheezing. you start rambling about how "PFFT- WAIT NO I DIDNT MEAN- WELL YES I DID BUT WAIT,,you know what let me just shut my mouth." after dreams finished deflating he hugs you and presses a couple chaste kisses on your face cooing about how adorable you are.

sapnap is relatively chill about it. doesn't tease you much but also can't help it sometimes. again very cautious about your boundaries and makes sure you know to tell him if he ever takes it too far. although he teases you, the second someone who isn't him teases you? ooh boy he's on their ass. when he does tease you he does it somewhat similarly to the way dream does, in the way where he tries to fluster you to see what happens. he'll probably flop on your lap, get all close to your ear and go "hey sugar, you're looking very pretty :]" but he'll purposely put on a like,,thicker southern accent because he knows it kind of makes your brain malfunction. you laugh at him and go "you sound like a middle-aged cowboy. hot middle-aged cowboy." before immediately hiding your face in your hands on embarrassment taking in what you just said while sap just dies of laughter. there was probably a time where you and him were like rearranging his streaming room and you got bored and went "hhdggh this is taking too long to rearrange, why don't you rearrange my guts instead 🙄" before going "oh- wAIT NO I DIDNT MEAN-"

George is very sweet about it. actually doesn't tease you at all, sometimes he does but it's very rare. he's more likely to laugh about it with you or say something equally as odd to make you laugh even harder. likes to let you have appearances on his streams because you're very funny. definitely defends you if someone in chat is saying your "attempt" at being "random" isn't funny. on the rare occasion that George does tease you it's more of his reaction mixed with pops into his head at the moment. one time you guys were shopping and passed by the art isle and you went "hmm, I wonder what these crayons taste like microwaved,," George burst out laughing and immediately went "PAHAH WHAT?? ehehe 'ah yes, look at these crayons, I will now proceed to imagine how it tastes after being microwaved." you probably jokingly glare at him before laughing yourself. "you're so silly :)" george then presses a kiss to your forehead and you guys continue on shopping.

a/n: I fixed it :DD anyway this has been sitting in my drafts for like months so :]]

[garne--tt]

x japan iceberg explained;

before i start, i probably didnt explain something right and if u want to correct me or add something, feel free and even dm me about it! + i will add trigger warnings for possible triggering content in this post

1.

formed in 1982 - x was formed in 1982 after toshis and yoshikis previous band disbanded

X --> X JAPAN - they changed their name from X to X JAPAN in 1992 in order to distinguish themselves from the american punk rock band X 

Saw IV - a horror movie from 2007, x japan did a theme song I.V. for the movie, it was their first song released since 1998

new album - an new x japan album that was supposed to be released lots of times over the 10+years but still (to this day) wasnt released

coachella 2018 - x japan performed at coachella 2018, many fans are saying how the sound was bad (usually blaming it on the sound production team?? or whatever its called) and apparently sugizo and yoshiki were seen arguing with the sound production team

we are x - a 2016 documentary about x japan (or rather yoshiki, because apparently it was mainly focusing on him)

psychidelic violence crime of visual shock - a slogan, mainly seen on the blue blood album cover, the term visual kei was derived from the slogan yoshiki, toshi, hide, pata, taiji - the most known lineup, from 1987 to 1992

2. tw// suicide mention

violet uk - one of unfinished yoshikis projects, started in 2002, didnt even debut but was supposed to in 2012

V2 - unit of yoshiki and tetsuya komuro, was active in 1992, they released one single and did one concert

ra:in - patas band, active since 2002, members are - pata, michiaki, die (also former member of spread beaver), ryu

noise/dynamite - toshis and yoshikis first band, formed in 1977 as dynamite, then they changed the name to noise, noise disbanded in 1982

s.k.i.n. - superband (group) of yoshiki, gackt, miyavi and sugizo, their only activity was in 2007 and it was live, they announced more activities but they were stopped

xfreaks - an international xjapan fan forum created in 2006

dope headz - band that had heath and pata as members, active from 2000 to 2003

hide with spread beaver - hides live band, other members were kiyoshi, k.a.z, hiroshi watanabe, satoshi miyawaki, d.i.e, i.n.a

zilch - supergroup formed by hide in 1996, other members were ray mcveigh,paul raven, joey castillo and i.n.a

lynx - one of heaths band, active from 2004-?, the vocalist for this band was issay from der zibet

yokosuka saver tiger - hides former band, he was member from 1981 to 1986 sugizo - luna sea guitarist, he joined x japan in 2008

hides death - hide committed suicide in 1998 (he hanged himself) update: this is what authorities said and what is official

3. tw// suicide

taijis death - in 2011 taiji was flying from japan to saipan, on the flight he got into fight with his manager (or flight attendant?), he was arrested after they landed in saipan and then he hanged himself with bedsheet in his cell

x japan translations - an site that had xjapan translations (like toshis book etc...), the site was active and up until 2018

taijis departure from X - taiji left X in 1992, but we dont know the exact reason why he left

toshi was in cult - toshi was member of cult known as home of heart from the late 90s (1998?)

1997 - the year x japan disbanded

yoshiki and queen elizabeth incident - in 2019 during royal windsor cup yoshikis scarf accidentally landed on queen elizabeth

yoshiki knows everyone - (not everyone ofc) but he met a lot of celebrities, politicians (barrack obama, johnny depp, prince phillip, bts etc,,)

art of life - a 29 minute song released released in 1993, it was was recorded only in english, the theme of the song are yoshikis suicidal tendencies, art of life was meant to be released in the jealousy album (1991)

yoshikis father - yoshikis father committed suicide when yoshiki was 10 years old

taijis cut off joint on finger - taiji when he was kid, showed his hand into a factory machine (his family owned factory) and cut off his first joint on his finger

yoshikis health problems - yoshiki has tons of health problem since he was child (asthma, he was always sick and spent most of the time in hospitals etc,,) and suffers from many of health problems even now

4.

toshis healing music - toshis music he made during the home of heart era

kaori moritani & masaya - kaori moritani is toshis ex wife, they met in around 1993 when they played in rock opera hamlet, they got married in 1997 and divorced in 2010, she introduced him to masaya (and got him, or rather manipulated him, into home of heart) 

masaya -  real name tōru kurabuchi - musician and leader of home of heart

-more about home of heart and the whole situation here: https://bloodydesertrose.tumblr.com/post/96662764536/support-toshi-dont-buy-or-listen-to-any-of-his-songs

debut in usa - x japan was supposed to debut in usa in the 90s (and even changed their name because of it, x-->xjapan)

extasy record - label formed by yoshiki in 1986, the first release under extasy records was x orgasm ep, the label had bands like xjapan, luna sea, glay, zi:kill tokyo yankees and more

yoshiki paid for taijis new teeth - after hides funeral yoshiki noticed that taijis some teeth were missing or chipped, so he handed him around 2 million yen (around 18 497 usd) to get his teeth fixed

l.o.x. - punk rock supergroup, yoshiki was drummer in this band, they also used to be named masami & l.o.x (masami was their vocalist), masami collapsed and fell into coma in 1989 and died in 1992 due to pneumonia in coma, l.o.x released one album with different vocalist (one of them which was toshi and yoshiki went by the alias shiratori rei here on the album) in 1990, l.o.x. released one song in 2002 in memory of masami

standing sex promotional shot & single cover - the promotional shot & single cover basically shows yoshiki nude (with his intimate parts covered of course + this wasnt the only time yoshiki has done something like this) 

rose & blood -indies of x- - an unofficial album with demos and unreleased x songs

unreleased & old songs - there are a lot unreleased songs + unreleased old songs or just old songs that dont get played anymore

5.

rosenfeld - crows in black - blue blood has similar guitar riff (i dont know how to say it) to this song (crows in black / b was firstly recorded on demo in 1986)

former members - x japan has big amount of former members - 11 former members (excluding taiji and hide from this)

terry - a former member of x, he was one of the original members (being a member from 1982 to 1985), terry died in 2002 in car accident

yoshiki got sued by hides brother - yoshiki got sued by headwax (hides company which hides brother owns) for using hides photos, apparently they had a contract but it expired and yoshiki still used hides photos even though the contract expired

x japan condoms - they were released in 1993 with the intent to help increase awareness and prevent the spread of AIDS. the reason why they probably did this is that toshis fan died at the age of 19 due to AIDS (toshi even dedicated a song to him - passion of love and became a active member and sponsor of association of struggle against AIDS)

heath cow story - when heath joined xjapan they celebrated it by drinking and then driving 2 hours to cow farm, then they drove to aquarium but it was already closed

heath leaving x japan - in 2009 there was a rumor that heath would leave x japan, apparently this was caused due to heaths contract problems (?) dementia - taijis former band, he was member from 1984 to 1985 and went under the name ray

pata was roadie for x - before joining x in 1987, he was roadie for x (or the member hally) around the time in 1986 (1985?)

6.

pink spider was a suicide note - this one is a rumor/theory that is circulating around, fans analysed the lyrics and came to conclusion that its suicide note

x stayed at different hotels than other bands - when x was on tour with other bands they were staying at different hotels than other bands, because one time (on tour with other bands and in hotel) hide got into drunk fight with juichi morishige (lead vocalist of ziggy) and sprayed the entire hotel lounge with fire extinguisher

taiji was homeless - taiji was homeless for around 2 years (1996-1998), due to financial issues + he got divorced at this time

heaths myspace account - there was heath myspace account, but it wasnt him, it was someone pretending to be him

weekend pv theory - (i dont know if i should have put this here to be honest) a theory that x members chose what their death would be in weekend pv (yoshiki - suicide, hide - suicide in drunken rage??, taiji - murder, pata - alcohol poisoning, toshi doesnt die in the pv)

7.

hide vocaloid - hides unreleased song co gal got finished via vocaloid (using his voice samples from various songs of his)

yoshiki lead singer - before toshi was chosen to be the lead vocalist for x, yoshiki was the vocalist (there is also a recording of stab me in the back with mostly yoshiki on vocals!)

hide and marilyn manson meet up story - im gonna just attach a screenshot of the story

taiji was murdered - taiji committed suicide in 2011 in his cell on saipan, but there are some things that point to the possibility that he was murdered (his manager insisted on cremating his body and got cremated without autopsy, money got transfered on his account, information missing from the internet?? etc,,) 

juns tape - demo tape recorded in 1986 by at the time X guitarist jun, tape contains instrumental recordings of unreleased songs right now, only way, tune up and one unnamed song.

ill kill you single cover - cover of 1985 X single ill kill you, it contains photos of victims of the vietnam war

feel me tonight - demo tape from 1985/1986, it contains songs feel me tonight and stab me in the back (all of them are under one minute here) sung by their at the time guitarist hally (apparently there aslo should be yoshiki version of it, but i dont know how much we can trust metal archives)

8. tw// eating disorder mention

yoshiki hired someone to kill taiji - this one is a rumor!!!, yoshiki was supposed to get/hire yakuza to kill taiji hide had an eating disorder - this one is unconfirmed!!! hide  suffered from bulimia (yoshiki walked on him purging - and this story was also apparently told by yoshiki???)

[bokutosbestie2]

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Ah thanks to those who are reading this story! Love you all ☻

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Y/N Pov:

After getting dropped off by Atsumu, I check my phone to only see 20 miss calls from Semi.

Yikes, he probably thought I died or something...

I decide to call him back.

" Hello. "

" Y/N WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU! I WAS TRYING TO FIND YOU ALL OVER THE PARTY! " he shouted through the phone.

" OK FIRST OF ALL CALM DOWN! I'M OK DON'T WORRY! "

" Thank GOSH! I REALIZED YOU WERE GONE AROUND 3 am?! "

" Wow what a nice friend realizing I was gone after 5 hours at the party! " I say with sarcasm.

" HEY! AT LEAST I REMEMBER?! "

" YEA! You right... " I laughed.

" OH ALSO?! How did you get home your car is still at the Venue?! " Semi asks confused.

" WELL!  A guy name Atsumu helped me out when I was completely out! "

" ATSUMU?! THE VOLLEYBALL PLAYER?! LIKE THE REALLY GOOD ONE?! "

" Yea?! The one with the twin! "

Why is he so surprised?

" DO YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?! "

" No, we just met last night! How do you know him ?" I asked curiously.

" We used to play volleyball together in high school same with his brother Osamu! Also, Osamu catered for the party! "

" Hmm, interesting... Well, I met Osamu at his restaurant."

" Osamu is the calmer twin but he still pretty crazy, on the other hand, Atsumu is a big flirt with the girls watch out!" Semi laughs on the phone.

" Yea not interested. "

" Haha, that's a loss for him! Anyways you need a break from volleyball players. " Semi laughs.

" Yea I do! Alright SEMI SEMI I'm gonna get going now I have to finish a couple of things from work. Also, I need to cure this hangover before tomorrow. "

" Ok then ILL LET YOU GO! BYE! "

" Bye Semi! "

We both end the call.

Now I need to find a way to get my car before noon because I have tons of work to do.

I can't ask Semi to take me there because he staying at a friend's house, I can probably ask Kenma to help me. I haven't seen him in a while so maybe we can catch up a little also.

I shoot a text to Kenma.

Texting on phone:

Y/n: “ Hey are you free right now? “

5 minutes later

Kenma: " yea why? "

Y/n: " Do you think you can come over right now?!

Kenma: " I don't see why not. "

Y/n: " PERFECT! "

I put my phone down on the counter and change into different clothes because I was still in Atsumu shirt.

I guess I'll be keeping the shirt until we meet again, or if we ever.

30 minutes later

I hear my doorbell ring, and it was Kenma.

" KENMAAA COME IN! " I say happily."

" Hey what's up its been a while! " he says as he went in for a hug.

" Nothing really.. "

" Bs I heard you and Kageyma broke up.. "

" FROM WHO?! " I say confused.

" Hinata... "

" OH YEAAA HIS BESTFRIEND... "

" Yea, he didn't really tell him but Hinata suspected when he texts him " how are things going with y/n, " and let's say he didn't take it well. " Kenma said in a conflicted tone.

" WHY did he not take it WELL! He the one who broke up with me?!" I say angrily.

" Did he ever tell you why he broke up with you? " Kenma asked.

" No, he just said I dOn'T LOvE yOu aNyMoRE "

I’m so annoyed right now why is he acting like the victim.

" That's it? " Kenma was surprised.

" YEA! "

" Oh wow, I really didn't think that the reason like... Strange."

" Who cares, I don't like him either. "

Obviously, I was still hurting but it's fine I don't need him.. Screw him.

" If you say so! "

Kenma Pov:

Yea no she still likes him...

Y/N Pov:

" Enough about him... DO you want to help me get my car?! "

" Wheres your car? " Kenma asks confused

" UH well, It's at a Venue.. "

" Did you go to a party or something? "

" Yea Semi had a party yesterday and let's say I got a little too wasted... BUT don't worry someone helped me out... "

" Uh, who helped you out? "

" I don't know if you know him but he is also a Volleyball player, his name is Atsumu the last name is Miya? "

" Wait a minute the one with the twin? "

" YEA HIM!"

" Are guys friends?! " Kenma asks

" No, I literally just met him last night. "

" Atsumu is a nice guy he just a big flirt. "

" THAT'S WHAT SEMI SAID?! "

" Well, it's because he is always out with a new girl every week. "

" Yea no thanks... " I say weirded out.

" Ok, so are we going to get your car?! " Kenma asks in a bored tone.

" Ok, let us go! "

I got into Kenma's car, luckily the venue is only 20 minutes away.

" AHH MY Precious car!! " I shouted.

" SHEEZ be louder next time will ya. "

" Kenma stop being grumpy... " I say as I try to keep in my laugh.

" Yea whatever go get your car now! "

" Already kicking me out... "

" Yes! "

" AH YOUR SO COLD! " I laugh

" Ok well thank you Kenma! We actually need to hang out ok?! "

" Fine... We will one of these days. " he smiles.

I get out of the car, wave to Kenma then I get in my car.

Finally, I can go home now and start working on projects.

After the 20 minute drive, I get in my house and start working on the three projects.

Meanwhile At this time:

Atsumu pov:

I'm sitting on the couch, my phone started buzzing uncontrollably.

What the heck.

I flip my phone over only to see texts from my friends. I open up the group chat and see something unexpected. A PHOTO OF ME AND Y/N IN THE CAR ON “ THE PEOPLES “ TWITTER PAGE.

The big 4 :

Sakusa: Oh so is she another new girl?

Bokuto: Already Atsumu?!

Hinata:  Isn't that Kageyama's ex!

Me: NO NO THEY GOT IT WRONG WE ARE NOT GOING OUT!

Me: ALSO HINATA DID YOU JUST SAY?! KAGEYAMA EX?!

So that's who broke her... What a small world.

Sakusa: Sure that's what you say about every girl..

Bokuto: Can we get a Rip

Hinata: Rip.. Also Yes

Sakusa: Rip

Sakusa: Damn already making moves on a girl who broke up with her boyfriend.

Bokuto: Wow..

Hinata: HAHA I WONDER HOW KAGS IS GOING TO REACT TO THIS..

Me: CAN YOU GUYS STOP THAT?!  YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG...

Sakusa: Ok then if she, not a random hook up who is she, and does she know she on " the people's " Twitter account label as mystery girl?!

Bokuto: YEA DOES SHE KNOW!?

Oh my, we just met and she isn't going to like this.

Me: NO SHE DOESNT KNOW...But she was some random girl at the party Osamu was catering. I decided to help her out because she was alone and drunk so I took her to Osamu's house, so she can sober up. The next morning I took her home because she left her car at the Venue... I DIDNT THINK THE Paparazzi WOULD CARE SO MUCH?!

Hinata: Wow Atsumu that was nice of you.

Bokuto: ^^^

Sakusa: Well you're going to have to tell her or do something about it because we all know how crazy your fangirls get.

Me: Fine fine let me tell her right now.

After texting the group chat, I was about to text y/n only to remember... I don't have her number, but I think Osamu has her number.

I texted Osamu, now I have to wait for him to respond.

Now back to y/n :

Finally, I'm almost done with this projects...

Then all of sudden I get a text from Tendou.

I looked at my phone and I can't believe what I see... He sends me a screenshot of Me and Atsumu in the car... It was trending on Twitter. The title was " Star setter mystery girl? "

Texting On phone:

Tendou: I didn't know you guys were going out?

Y/n: OH MY GOSH? Please tell me this is a joke?!

Tendou: No I don't think so...

Y/n: WE ARE NOT GOING OUT... I MET HIM LAST NIGHT!

I explained to Tendou what happened last night.

Tendou: this Has to be the most miss interpreted picture ever. LMAO!!

Y/n: YEA IT IS NOW EVERYONE AT WORK IS GOING TO ASK ME... OH NO KAGEYAMA PROBABLY SAW THIS!

Tendou: HAHAHA.. WHO CARES HE BROKE UP WITH YOU... His loss..

Y/n: YOUR RIGHT! BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE KNOW AS ATSUMU ANOTHER GIRL?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE GUY!

Tendou: Has he talked to you about it?!

Y/n: No HE DOESNT EVEN HAVE MY NUMBER?!

Tendou: Well this is going to be fun to watch...

Y/n: NO it's NOT..

I stressfully put my phone down on the counter...

What I'm I going to do?! HOW DID I GET INTO TO THIS MESS?

I hear another notification go off on my phone... It was an unknown number.

Text message:

Hey can we talk?

Y/n: Who is this?

Atsumu: Its Atsumu

Y/n: NO WE CANT TALK DID YOU SEE TWITTER?

Atsumu: YES I KNOW THAT'S WHY I WANT TO TALK?

Y/n: Also? HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?

Atsumu: OSAMU GAVE IT TO ME!

oh, yea I forgot I gave him my number.

Atsumu: WELL HEAR ME OUT! This will die down tomorrow, me and the team are leaving for Osaka in the morning so you don't even have to see me again.

Y/n: Sheez that's a harsh way to put it.

Atsumu: I mean if you want to see me you can~

Oh my, I can hear his flirtatious tone from here.

Y/n: NO!

Atsumu: AW you're SO MEAN!

Atsumu: ALSO I DIDNT KNOW Kageyama was your boyfriend...

Y/n: Who told you that?

Atsumu: Hinata! We play on the same team..

Y/n: OH Gosh NOW IT SEEMS LIKE IM JUMPING AROUND Guy to Guy...

Atsumu: YOU THINK IT MAKES YOU SEEM BAD? IT MAKES ME SEEM BAD TOO!

Y/n: Atsumu Shut up! Everyone knows you're a big flirt.. now I'm going to seem like I'm one of your little playthings.

Y/n: WHAT IM GOING TO SAY at WORK PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ASK IF WE HOOKED UP?!

Atsumu: I have an Idea.. What if we pretend we're dating?

Y/n: HUH?

Atsumu: It will fix both our reputation.. I won't be seen as the guy who hooks up with every chick and people at work can stop questioning you. There's a BONUS we can make Kageyama jealous... You can win him back.

Y/n: IF we do this... together in private we don't have to act as a couple right.. I just MET YOU...

Atsumu: Yea don't worry your not even my type, this should be easy because I won't be near you.

Y/n: DEAL!

Atsumu: PERFECT! Just let me know if anything happens tomorrow! Ill fill you in too!

Y/n: Fine.

I place my phone down on the nearby table.

WHAT HAVE I DONE? IS THIS REALLY GOING TO WORK?

Atsumu pov:

Why couldn't have it been with much cuter girl? Now no girl is going to talk to me.. Stupid paparazzi.

Chapter 5

[thegeminisage]

O, Q, B

O: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?

PLOT. usually the first thing i know about a fanfic is the climax or the ending, and i just won’t write it if i don’t have something that Resonates with me that makes it worth writing the first ten chapters or whatever. actually one of the biggest reasons broken road rotted for a year as a little outline doc, aside from them killing mary and me temporarily divorcing supernatural, was that i didn’t know the climax/ending of that fic. once i realized what it was, i decided to go ahead and work on it again

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

SCENES, very few. i tend to move scenes instead of cut them if i can - i re-insert sliced dialogue if i have to, it drives cally nuts. STORYLINE/PROJECTS...oh man, a million. i had like literally a DOZEN one-shot followups to that teen wolf rarepair fic (that i still might write someday tbh), an original novel do not steal about a psychic a werewolf and a (shut up) dark angel. i also still want to rewrite my first ever fanfic someday (ocarina of time novelization), i’m slowly coming to grips w/ the fact that i’m probably never gonna finish my detroit become twink fanfic bc you can only write something like that while hyperfixated. the sequel to that merlin fic that i’m never gonna write. 

oh also back when i wrote a pairing that will not be named here bc i don’t want to lose anymore followers (i DON’T anymore god stop cyberbullying me!!) i had this 1.22 canon divergent au where john died in the crash and dean survived, and so there was no hell deals and they still had the colt. and then dean got attacked by YED’s demons and put into a coma and was slowly dying, right, and he was a coma-ghost the WHOLE TIME, but bc the fic was sam pov sam/the reader didnt know until the twist ending. because obviously dean wasn’t gonna tell sam, obviously, he was just trying to make sure sam finished the fight before he kicked it. and he spends the whole fic being sketchy about what happened that one night he wouldn’t (couldn’t) answer his phone (getting mugged by demons) and trying not to let sam touch him and hiding their emf meter etc etc and then at the climax of the fic he gets some iron swung at him and he vanishes and sam realizes that he’s transparent and the cold isn’t just because it’s winter and he’s like YOU’RE DEAD?? AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?? and dean’s like i’m only ALMOST dead. and so then they have to kill YED and also save dean’s life before his time runs out (and they do). anyway that fic was like 100k and i loved it so even though i’m never gonna do this i would love to rewrite/repurpose it to be a gen fic bc it really was so great

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

like, all of them lol. everything i’ve ever written is horrifyingly personal actually! gross. you just can’t see that unless you Know me. like, ok, jkr doesnt have rights and i can’t find the interview where she said it but one time when someone asked her which character was most like her she was like oh theyre all like me in some way or another...i put this part of myself into one and that part of myself into another. that’s a mood. i’d never write a fanfic about something i experienced exactly because that feels weird and way too personal to publish on the internet for hundreds or maybe even thousands of strangers to see. boundaries and privacy are good things! but i can change many small details and a few large ones and then i can get away with practically anything so it’s like free therapy AND super authentic at the same time with minimal embarrassment <3 i love fanfic <3

(FANFIC ASK MEME)

[currentfandomkick]

JL confronts Marinette

From bio!dad Strange au, where they made her kryptonian to keep her alive. This is post-Hawkmoth (debating using a random and revamping Gabriel altogether tbh)

“Don’t.” Marinette was tired of heroes, tired of being one. She had to handle hawkmoth’s fallout, keeping so many secret identities (hers, JL, miraculus team, her gotham family’s) and she just wanted to sleep.

Flash found her first, but Superman grabbed her and put her in the air for a ‘talk’.

“Don’t what?” She knew superman wasnt a detective. She knew he was a reporter though and she could see baiting and needling just under the surface. He’s an interrigator then, she decided.

“Don’t come in and try to fix what the miraculous team already handled. Paris was abbadonned by your league.”

She figured this was about Ladybug. Paris is always going off the the miraculous holders and ladybugs were always deemed the defacto leaders. She liked that Daesuqa (Talia) took over leading long term missions for the most part, handled meetings and politics so her and Chat and the others could be more like the teens they are in theory.

And everyone knew Marinette was Chat Noir’s favorite after she got how many akumatized people to release their akuma on their own? And that she supplied mirauclous users with kwami food (though it was common for many other civilians). It was common knowledge to all, but Hawkmoth apparently, that if Chat or his miraculous team or the entire team was needed, you went to Marinette.

Superman furrowed his brow at that though. “I didn’t know there was an active team here.”

So it wasn’t about the miraculous or years of magic terrorism her city endured?

“Been here for years. Hawkmoth’s sentencing is in a few hours.”

She hoped it was the kwami’s choice. Tikki murmured that people were surprised by what they could live through, and she is thw kwami of life. Tikki would make him wish he was dead routinely. He deserved it for regualrly slaughtering the city.

“No, that’s...” superman shook his head. “I came here to talk to you about...” he gestures to her then. She didn’t get it until she realized she was floating on her own.

When did he let her go?

“I know you’re Princess.”

Marinette’s blood stopped then. No. He can’t. They can’t.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I know Chloe changed my handle to Princess of Paris a few years ago but indont think heroes can stalk teens for that.”

Good, play into that. Distract until someone you trust can come. She hit an alert on her phone while he wasnt looking.

Pegasus should be here soon.

“I know you know it only as the Chimera project.”

Wrong. It was the surgery that kept her alive.

“And i know you’ve been poisoning yourself to stay hidden.”

Antidotes came from venom. It was fone to ise the stickers, they kept her human. The crystals were for emergencies only.

“What I don’t get is why.”

Why would she want him to kidnap, or abduct her? Take her from her family? Her life?

Don’t show that you’re who he thinks, anvocie whispered. Keep being the Paris Marinette from social media. The savage who snarled Weredad into submission.

“I really think you have the wrong girl. Its listed under my file as a volunteer flyer that i’m a flying meta, like most of the flyers.” Good, keep it up.

“And superman, if I had to guess why some girl that i look like would supress their powers, its becuase this is France and until the Miraculous team came clean about some being meta, you were imprisoned on suspicions of being meta, even infants were, are in the rest of France. Paris is the only place you arent imprisoned for it.”

Superman paled at that. “I. I wasn’t aware.”

“why would you be?”

Superman did respond to that.

“And if this Princess of yours is still hiding, she might be protecting her loved ones. Or maybe she thinks you’d steal her away from her life and home? Everyone knows about the fortress of solitude and i dont think anyone besides you would like living there, especially so far from people.”

Marinette watched him process. As long as Red Robin didnt see her, didnt confirm her identity, she was in the clear.

“Now if you’d excuse me, I’m needed to finish filling out a report on the final battle.”

That had superman’s attention.

“Final battle.”

“Yes, we just took down Hawkmoth a week ago.”

“He already has his trial, in a week.” Disbelief. Not worng either.

“It took the citizens of paris a week to finish voting. Finally tallies come in tonight if we try him as humans or if the kwami—gods of various concepts—are the ones to try him for his crimes. Afterall, he enslaved one kwami and abused another.”

Superman was not doing well, far too pale. Shock? No, they sent so many videos before the JL banned them.

Guilt. Regret, too. Probably.

“Now can you put me down somewhere? I’m not out as a meta and indont plan on being out anytime soon. Any supporting the miraculous teams do have their enemies too, and i dont want to be targetted.”

Superman nodded. Numb? Possible.

She let hersef be taken down.

Pegasus was there, Flash on his way. Another person who could make her.

She had to move fast.

“I hope I cleared things up?”

Superman nodded.

Max was ready to fight, glaring at the blue boyscout.

“Ready to go Miss DC?”

Marinette nodded, letting him guide her to the portal.

Flash didnt make it in, but he didnt see her face either. She’s take the narrow victory.

They exited in the Paris Grande Hotel. The Mayor had Batman and Red Robin with him. Crap.

“Is this...”

“Our civilian contact, Miss DC,” Pegasus stated almost too professionally. Great, now Red would know they know each other as friends. batman too.

“Batman, Red Robin, correct?”

“Yes. We, we just found your heroes videos and came to help. I see we’re too late too.”

Marientte nodded, avioding eye contact with Red. She wasnt sure if he learned to act infront of Batman yet, and wasnt risking it.

“I heard you came up with many of the emergency procedures and built the comms system with Pegasus.”

“As a flyer, yes. As Miss DC I just make sure the team stays fed and Chat doesnt forget to sleep.”

Batman shot Red Robin a look as he said, “I know the feeling.”

Marinette didnt fight the smile then. Yes, that was her Hero Stalker Tim alright.

“Would you two be interested in helping the league develop a better system to sort incoming messages?”

Pegasus moved first. “If we do, Miss DC is to be left alone. Her mother is very atrict about her not getting involved in science, and refuses to believe that her daughter has been actively helping the miraculous team.”

Batman turned his attention to Marinette then. “Is that so?”

Marinette nodded. “My birth father and her left on... terms i never got the jist of. He and his friends teach me in secret. Mama,” not maman, she forced herself to say, “she said something about it being destructive and dangerous, so she wants me to stick to the arts instead.”

Batman nodded. “Experiments can be, but that doesnt undercut the good you’ve done. I’ll tell the league you will work off-site should you accept.”

Marinette nodded along. “I can help where Pegasus gets stuck, and be contacted through him but otherwise would prefer not to be contacted by the League. I’m a civilian, and no offense, but there ahve been leaks before.”

“Understandable. The league thanks you for your help, and apoligizes for what you went through.”

Marinette could feel the hole Red Robin was burning into her. He earings. And the fox miraculous. Shit. He knew.

Marinette wanted to punch the league in their face collectively.

“All May i go now, i have a meeting to get to.”

“Of course.”

Pegasus opened the portal and escorted her out.

They both waited five minites, Max feeding Kaalki, for the call.

“So why didnt you tell me?” Tim was pissed.

“Media blackout. Any time i tried to call it was blocked.”

Tim swore. “Alfred!”

“You are so lucky Pegasus doesnt know anything about gotham.”

“He’s there?”

“I work with him alot.”

“So when you visited Gotham...”

“French government would know. Not hard to connect the dots of girl leaves to see gotham fmaily and suddenly the league shows up after banning all of Paris from contact.”

“I. When did it happen?”

“Before Chrismas. I would have had Nonna tell you but she didnt know either until after the fact and they said if she told anyone itd be me going to jail for her.”

“That’s. What hellscape do you live in?”

“I died so many times i don’t even know now.” She stopped keeping track after she got into the eighties. That wasn’t even a full year into being Ladybug.

“That’s not comforting.”

“Please tell me that you’re not outing me to Bats. I just got two leaguers off my tail.”

“I won’t tell him, but if the new Robin does i’m not stopping him.”

She almost forgot Talia’s son was a Robin. She didnt see him in uniform yet—as Damian (not wayne but damian who was mourning lost family, damian who didnt know how to talk to people his age). She knows he’s a bit thick with social cues, and his detective skills need work in her opinion but he’s skeptical and has good insticts. He might make her as Marinette if he’s there.

“Is he...”

“He’s with the Titans now, but theyre debating coming here to yell at the league.”

“Videoing it?”

“Obviously. Want a copy?”

“Ill make popcorn before watching.”

“Rkc are doing well by the way—stopped a human trafficking ring and i think they took the victims.”

“Harley’s working with them,” marientte got he update earlier. “Hood and zsasz took out the lower and mid tier that woudlnt snitch. The case should be smooth sailing—the sirens put out a blanket hit on anyone trying to touch the witnesses.”

“So managing two teams this whole time,” red murmured, almost... bitter, or disapointed in something—no someone. Himself?

“Just tweaking things. Daesuqa handles most the team since she found me and Chat. Apparently she was compatible enough to do a lot of the non-fighting work. I still did battle strategy and all but,” Marinette shrugged.

“She focused in survival aspects here, and long term stability for Gotham. Daesuqa has handled most of non-kwami work here outside of kwami and candidates,” Max added. “On top of her work as a student and designer and inventor.”

Red Robin groaned. “When do you sleep?”

Marinette hummed. “I have meds to make me. And angry family to make me take them.”

“Her... what are we calling him now?” Mac was asking about Felix, adiren’s gremlin cousin who’s mom isntryign to adopt her. Also a fellow reverse theif and possessive friend.

“Uh, gremlin.”

“Her gremlin calls to let is know if she does get rest on the weekends and we trade off on weekdays.”

Red robin hummed into the phone. “So staying to the shadows?”

Trixx and Tikki looked up at Marinette at that. tikki wanted her to be the Ladybug, the be seen and everywhere and she...

Trixx knew why Marinette liked the shadows and background. Trix understood that bit.

“Yeah, i’ll still play in between and have some kwami things for life now.” She and Chat were working out gaurdian duties still.

She wasnt interested in the JL.

@emeraldpuffguide @ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @mystery-5-5 @weird-pale-blonde-person @dast218

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[teh-repository]

(late) Julance Day 8 | Knitting

Lance had originally planned on making one for everyone when it became clear that they were not getting home anytime soon. It would be really cool he thought, they already have matching armor, why not matching sweaters? And this way he can also include Allura and Coran in the set so they would all be matching. His space fam while he is light years away from home.  

However, between training sessions, actual battle, exploring the castle and a myriad of other distractions, the project soon went longer than he thought it would. 

And then Shiro disappeared, and despite any misgivings he had about the idea, Keith had to step up as the Black Paladin. Things were tense and he had to pick up some slack to keep the team together. He carved some time here and there regardless to pick up his needle, determined even more to finish, be able to greet Shiro when he returns (and he will return) with matching sweaters. Red feels different than the cool, supportive presence of Blue, but she was still so fierce and she accepted him even thought he knew he was not her first choice. (He doesn’t blame her, he would not be his first choice for her either, she’s too hot, too impulsive for him, but he promised himself he would take care of her) And despite the upset he still feels at losing his beautiful Blue, he couldn't help but start to feel fondly about Red and his original Paladin, for trusting him enough to pilot. He kept in mind as he started on Keith’s sweater, now adding some black to the complex red patterns.

But even when Shiro came back, things still were not the same. Keith left soon after that and he never regretted unloading his fears to someone more. He stopped touching his project for weeks afterward. What was the point after all, when the team seems so fractured now so that the matching sweaters seemed like a mockery. 

That unacknowledged grief, the boneheaded idea of why he is so affected by Keith’s absence (wtf why him, he tells himself), turned to anger and a fierce determination. Why should he stop just because Mullet decided to revert back to his lone wolf self? Maybe he will start and make every one else a sweater except him since he so clearly wanted to be separated from them. He shoved the half formed red and black sweater deep into his drawers, picking up one of the other colors and started setting up his yarn onto his needles once again. This anger carried him through most of the last two sweaters as he holed himself in his room when he had nothing else to do which, after Hunk forced him out of the training room after the 3rd time he ended up sleeping there, started to happen a lot. 

The click of the needles and the tangible results of his labor did well to simmer down his anger (and grief). And if a couple of stray tears found their way unto the yarn, well they quickly disappeared from the emerging cloth. And soon, as he slowly finished with the relevant pieces, even with some of the more complicated patterns he attempted, he found himself considering the unfinished red and black sweater in his drawers. He kept the yarn and he didn’t want to undo all his hard work so it stayed there, in the back of his current projects, a reminder.

He was deep into the sleeve of the what will be the green sweater, when he starts at the knock on his door. It pauses his knitting only for a moment before he starts it up again, thinking nothing of the noise. Then the knock sounds again and with it Hunk’s voice comes through, muffled through the door. 

“Lance, bud, its already dinnertime, I think its time for a break.”

Lance frowns at his hands, focused on stitch after stitch forming from his needles. “I’m not really hungry right now, Hunk, I’ll get something later.”

When Hunk doesn't answer he thought that would be it, but then the door opens to Hunk’s disappointed face. He hates that face. 

Hunk takes in the bunches of knitted fabric of all colors surrounding Lance’s floor, the basket of yarn-like material Coran had once showed them and his best friend in the middle of it all. Lance could tell a hint of worry entering his face. He scowls, “You were the one that wanted me to do something else than training.”

Hunk threw his hands up in frustration, “Yeah, because you spending all your time there is unhealthy. And so is locking yourself up in your room to knit instead. This is not what I had in mind!”

Hunk paused. He goes to sit crossed legged next to Lance and says gently, “You know ... we miss him too. Especially Shiro, though he doesn't really show it to us.”

“Miss who? Mr. Lone Wolf? He wanted to leave. Thought he could do better than us. He couldn't wait to leave once we had Shiro back.” Lance jerkily moved his hands again, brows furrowed, forcefully keeping his eyes on his knitting and not at Hunk who he hears sigh next to him. 

“C’mon I know you don’t really think that.”

“Well what am I supposed to think Hunk?!” He spat. “He’s gone all the time, only really talks to us when the BoM is reporting to Allura. I’m sure he’s having the time of his life being a space ninja, training all the time without us to hold him back.”

Hunk frowns, “You know he’s not the most social guy and he’s still a little awkward talking to us about non work stuff. And being with the blade must be a nice way for him to learn about his Galra side with, you know, Galra that aren’t trying to kill him.”

Hunk babbles until he notices tears running down Lance’s scowling face, “Hey.. Hey, bud. I didn’t know you were this upset.” 

Lance bites his lip and sniffs, harshly scrubbing his eyes with his arm. “I … I’m Not. I swear. Why would I be for that Mullet.”

“I don’t know, I haven’t seen you knit this much since you found out your abuelo died.”

Lance giggles wetly, “Darn exposed by my hobby.” For the first time in hours, he sets down his project. He doesn’t dare turn his face to his friend, he was sure its a blotchy mess now, but these words have been bubbling in his head for a while, and he missed being able to talk with Hunk. It was also heartening someone came to pull him out of this stupor, his stomach quietly reminding him its been neglected. Things had settled into a new dynamic with Keith gone, and he had not been able to just hang out with Hunk in a while with him busy with Pidge most days so it was nice to have his sole attention for what felt like weeks. 

“I thought we were friends now. And sometimes maybe more,” he says quietly to Hunk. “I thought we had a bond.”

Hunk hummed at his,”To be fair, you were the one that kept saying that didn’t happen.”

“Hunk! You know I didn’t actually mean that! I was just. Teasing?” Lance could feel a flush under his skin, along with damp cheeks. 

Hunk snorted. “Yeah, teasing. It would be funnier if it wasn’t so painful to watch”

“Hunnnnnkkkk!” Lance whined and used his head to push slightly at his friends shoulder, though he couldn’t stop the small grin from taking over his face. “Well I thought we had something like that. And I thought we were actually starting to have something. Fighting with him didnt only feel like fighting anymore and we were working together so smoothly in battle. And it was fun hanging out with him outside of it. And I thought we were doing so well, and … ” Lance sucked in a breath, controlling his breathing, blinking away the itchiness on his eyes, “So why was it so easy for him to leave?”  

Hunk pushed Lance into an embrace and then said, ”I don’t know his thoughts, but I know he did like his time with us. I don’t think that was faked. And like I said, maybe hes trying to find something there with the Blades. After finding out he was part Galra he was so confused. It was really odd, because I thought out of all of us, he seems the most comfortable to be a paladin.” He sighs and adds, “I don’t think it was easy for him either, Lance. He still visits us. And from the looks I see him give to you, I don’t think it was easy for him to leave you in particular.”

Lance blushes a little at that part but stays silent, tears still slowly going down his cheeks. 

“I’m not really sure what to do but I know he’ll come back to us eventually and maybe then tell him what you are feeling?” 

Lance splutters, and shakes his head vigorously, hands clutching his project. “Absolutely Not!”

Hunk’s eyes settle of the red mass again and gives an innocent smile. “Or maybe you just give him that when you are done as a hint for him to come home?”

Lance drops his needles to punch at the now laughing Hunk with both hands. “Ok, No.NO. You know what? Dinner Time. You came to pick me up for dinner right?? Well I'm hungry, lets go.” Without waiting for him, Lance throws his needles and knitted piece to the side and jumps to his door. He yells, “Cmon Hunk! Everybody’s probably waiting there already!”

Hunk smiles at his antics. Lance can be really obvious, sometimes its a wonder Keith never noticed this. They are both idiots. He follows the fading sound of Lance’s footsteps, taking a few seconds to fold the piece and straighten out the yarn for Lance to come back to. He thinks, they’ll work something out. 

[yeoobiii]

Left Behind | Calum Hood

Pairing: College!Calum x College!Reader

Summary: As you got lost in the crowd of concert, you bump into a boy, you’re kinda familar with and from there on you are kind of forced to spend the rest of the evening with him and his friends.

Word cound: 3.9k

Warnings: drinking and that’s about it, ig

a/n: I had this in my drafts for a while now and felt like finishing it. It’s my first 5sos related imagine. It’s a little bit cheesy and turned out fluffy. Remember, feedback and criticism is highly appreciated. Enjoy!

The music was blasting through the speakers, flashing a wave of energy through your body you didn’t even know you had left in you anymore. You were standing for about four hours now and usually you’d be totally exhausted by now but the adrenaline that was currently streaming through your body made you forget about your tired legs.

As the next hook was about to drop the people around you opened a big hole in the crowd and everyone was ready to jump in. You weren't usually the type to join mosh pits because they always got so chaotic and sometimes you were seriously worried about getting hurt. But right now, at the moment, you didn’t care. You took a glance to your left to find your two best friends nodding at you, signalizing you that they were about to join the chaos as well. You smiled one more time to yourself, enjoying yourself before the beat dropped and every one jumped into that mosh pit, including you.

It was over faster than you would have thought. At that moment, you were completely carefree and the music owned your body. You were jumping, screaming and dancing, like every body around you. At some point someone stepped on your foot and it stung for a second, but you got over it fast as the act that was currently putting on a live show, started to rap their second verse of the song. The crowd calmed down a little and most people were facing the stage again.

You turned around to check if your friends were alright. But as you turned, you couldn’t make out one of the two familiar faces that belonged to your best friends. You started to look around, starting to ignore the loud bass, the cheering crowd and the flickering lights around you, as worry started to build inside of you. You couldn’t see them anywhere. You got your phone out to check if they already texted you but you had no new messages. You tried to call them with little hope and also no success. You lost your friends.

You thought about leaving the hall and just wait until the concert is over to meet with them outside afterwards, since you knew you couldn’t enjoy the concert anymore anyways. Not like this. You turned around to leave, as you bumped into someone.

You quickly apologized and moved past them, until, you heard them calling your name.

“Y/N?” they shouted after you. You knew that voice so, you turned around again.

“Calum?” you guessed making your way over to the familiar stature of the young man.

As you got closer you could make out his features and it really was Calum, standing there in front of you.

“It really is you! What are you doing here?” he smiled, taking you in for a short hug.

This took you by surprise. You didn’t know Calum too well. You weren’t even sure if you’d consider him your friend. But it also seemed like he was pretty hammered. But you had to chuckle at his question. What were you probably doing at a concert?

Calum was one of your classmates. And that was about it. At least that’s what you think, how he’d explain the relationship between you two. On your side, the thing was a little bit more complicated. It all started out about one and half years ago, since you started collage. You figured out fast that you had almost all your classes with the curly haired boy. At the beginning, he was just one of the guys you went to school with. Nothing more, nothing less. But over these one and a half years, you developed a crush on him. And you hated yourself for it.

You mostly knew him from little group projects you had to do in class. Either only the two of you or in a bigger group, but you started to notice, that you liked spending time with him. Even if it was only for school related stuff. The two of you even started to talk more once during these one and a half years but that died down quickly with him telling you how he was about to hit up another girl. He didn’t hurt you with stuff like that, it was just a bit frustrating sometimes.

You were likely to not tell your crushes about the feelings or liking you held towards them. For some reason you were always just too scared of rejections and you always thought it would probably be really awkward between the two of you if you’d have ever told him. You also didn’t want for him to have this kind of power over you. You imagined plenty of times the pity full look he’d have on his face, while telling you that you were sweet, but he didn’t return your feelings. And the thought about that always managed to send a cold shiver down your spine and it maybe still kind of hurt you in some way. Even tough you would never admit that to yourself.

So, you managed to live with the fact that he was just a silly crush you had and that you’d get over it at some point, which leaded you to the situation you were currently in. Still, not over him and him treating you like one of his mates. And the thing that all of his three mates from school were kind of your friends as well didn’t help at all. Sometimes you even did hang out together. You liked his friends and you always wondered why your relationship with him can’t be as uncomplicated as the friendships with the rest of his gang was. If you’re with them, you always get a laugh out of each other. It also wasn’t that bad if you were with him and his friends because they kind of distracted you from his cute curls, muscular arms and contagious laugh, which you loved to hear. You also loved when his lips where formed into a smile that took over his whole face.

And now you were standing there, worried about your friends, a little bit drunk, bumping into that one person you didn’t really expect to bump into. Plus, you didn’t really have the nerves right now to deal with the mess you called your feelings.

“What do you think I’m doing here? Same as you, dummy.” you replied, trying to put a smile on your face and ignoring the anxious feeling that were currently creeping up.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” he smiled, biting his lip and looking down at you.

“Yeah. But, ehm” your voice sounded more concerned this time as you tried to form your sentence, “You didn’t per chance saw my friends around?”

You turned on your phone as you wanted to show him a picture of them as you realized his head was already turned to the front again, not listening to anything you just said. As it wasn’t hard enough to communicate in all that screaming that was going on, anyways.

“Calum!” you called for his attention.

He turned to you, a drunken smile on his face. You showed him the picture of you and your friends.

“Have you seen them?” you shouted over the crowd that was currently going wild.

“Them? No, sorry. But she’s hot!” he grinned, pointing at your phone.

Well, that didn’t really help, but thanks for your input, Calum. You rolled your eyes at him. It wasn’t like you were already in a shitty situation.

“I’m gonna leave. Have fun.” you screamed over the music.

As you were about to turn your back at the tall boy, he called out for you again.

“Y/N, wait!”

He called you again so, you turned around again.

“You really wanna miss the rest of the concert?” he asked like he’d genuinely care, “We can still go and search for your friends after and you can stay with us if you want”.

His offer took you by surprise, the second time this evening. But the suggestion was really tempting, since you really liked the act that was currently playing and you were excited for this concert for about half a year now. So, you decided to quickly text your friends, that they don’t need to worry about you and that you found someone you knew and could stay with for the rest of the concert. You said you were sorry and that you could meet outside after. Putting your phone back in your pocket you turned back to Calum, who was loudly singing along, knowing all the lyrics.

“You know what, yeah, why not.” you smiled up at him, receiving a smile from him as well which made you a little bit week in your knees, but as usual, you ignored it.

As the evening was going on, you caught yourself enjoying yourself more and more. Calum had also friends with him. The only one you knew was a boy called Ashton. You had also some classes with him, and he was one of Calum's closest friends, as far as you knew. But there was another guy you have never seen before. He introduced himself as Dylan. At some point you even found yourself grounding your body against his, not spending one single though on Calum.

The main thing why you keep hiding your feelings for Calum, was because if he rejected you, you still had to face him every day and with that you’d be reminded of the embarrassment. But like this, with a guy you’d probably never see again or only if you wanted, it was easy.

Even though you had fun with him, you knew what he was after. You didn’t really have much experience on the dating front, but you weren’t blind. And it actually felt really good to be admired by someone. It gave you the feeling on having power, which was quite the opposite of how you felt almost everyday around your long-time-crush, namely insecure. So, you enjoyed every second of it.

As the concert was over, you almost forgot about your friends. But as soon as you were outside, you heard your phone ring. Just then you saw that you had twelve missed calls.

“Shit.” you mumbled to yourself, picking up your phone.

“Y/N? Where the hell were you?” your one friend was asking you, worry clear audible in her voice.

“I met some friends form school, I texted you guys.” you tried to explain.

Within the conversation with your friends, Dylan asked you for your tag to go and get your jacket for you. While your friend was telling you something, you searched for your tag, found it and handed it to Dylan, mumbling a quiet, “thank you”.

“Did you hear anything of what I just said?” your friend hissed at you.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” with your free hand you held your other ear closed, since it was still kinda crowded and with that comes the noise around you.

“We are already on our way home, Y/N.” sighed your friend.

“What? You did leave without me?” you started to ramble. Worry was building inside of you for the second time this evening on the thought of how to get home all by yourself. It was a good one and a half hour car ride until you were back home.

“Melissa got sick, she threw up on the toilets and I don’t think it’s because of the alcohol. I decided to bring her home, I tried to call you but you weren’t picking up.” she started to explain, you could hear out of the way her voice sounded, that she was sorry, “I even searched for you in the crowd for fifteen minutes but couldn’t find you anywhere and Melissa could barely stand, I had to do something.”

“So, you decided to leave without me?!” you hissed at her, genuinely pissed that your friends left you behind like this.

“What should I have done, huh. Tell me. Should I have let her practically die outside and come back to party with you?” she said sarcastically.

“No, of course not.” you rubbed your forehead, trying to figure out on how to get home yourself.

“Also, where is the problem, why can’t you go home with your friends form school?”

“It’s not that easy, V.” you tried to explain but couldn’t find any words on how to.

No one knew about your crush on Calum, since telling someone would make it become real. Without anyone knowing you could still tell yourself that your feelings not there or that they will go away in a magical way at some point.

“Well, it has to be that easy, Y/N. Except you wanna go home all by yourself.”

“Yeah, I know.”

As you took a look in the direction the boys left to get their and also your jacket you saw them walking towards you.

“I gotta go, V.” you cut her off, “Call me if your home safe, alright. Oh and you owe me.”

“Sure, same goes for you” she hung up, leaving you alone with Calum, Ashton and Dylan.

Last named just handed you your jacket, “There you go.”

“Thank you.” you smiled at him.

“Yo, Y/N” Calum begun, pulling your attention at him, “Where are your friends?”

All the boys were looking at you, waiting for an answer.

“Well, they already left.” you admitted to them, “is there a chance that the three of you have an empty seat in your car for someone like me.”

“I’m sure we can squeeze you in there, Y/N.”, Ashton chuckles as he put an arm around your shoulder.

“Thank you guys so much, really”, you thanked them, relieve washing over you, but you were still a little on edge because of the two men that were walking behind you and Ashton, “You really are my saviors.”

Next thing you knew, you were 60 dollars poorer and walking through a shabby train compartment looking for an opportunity to sit. Your legs were tired as hell. You finally got to feel that, since there is no adrenaline left in your body.

As you found a part in the train where the four of you could sit together, Ashton claimed it really fast as theirs.

“Didn’t I say we could squeeze you in?”, he grinned. A grin you’d like to punch out of his stupid face.

You didn’t even mind traveling by train. It was just that you were really exhausted. Plus, the short walk through the cold and fresh, night spring air, managed to get you sober again. So, now you were trapped in that train, with your dumb crush, a guy that still hope to get you laid tonight and an Ashton that didn’t seem to shut up and the saddest thing, you weren’t even drunk anymore.

The train wasn’t even running for ten minutes until you fell asleep leaning against the train window.

“Yo, this girl is fire and I’m so gonna get it tonight, guys”, Dylan cheered.

But he seemed to be the only one to find it funny how he was messing with a girl that couldn’t defend herself at the moment, because she was fast asleep.

Ashton only commented with, “If you say so.” And he was quick on looking back at his phone. And Calum, he was sending a death glare Dylan’s way. He hated how he talked about you and the fact that you couldn’t defend yourself, made him feel like he had to.

Calum didn’t really like the game that Dylan and you were playing the whole evening, anyways. As he spotted you on the dance floor in the middle of the crowd earlier this evening, he had to smile to himself. For some odd reason, it filled him with joy, watching you having a good time. But as soon as he spotted Dylan behind you, his smile was fast to be replaced with a frown. That should be him, dancing and laughing with you, he thought. But he probably must have messed up at some point of the evening. Why would you prefer to dance with stranger than with your friend Ashton or more specific him?

“Man, I need to take a piss.” Dylan suddenly said out of the blue, making Ashton getting up and joining him.

As Ashton already left to get in another compartment where the toilet was, Calum held Dylan back by his arm.

“Stop it, man.” he warned, glancing at him to make clear what he’s talking about.

“Why? You like her?” Dylan raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“N- No. It’s just… she has a boyfriend, man” he lied.

“Alright, man”, Dylan put his hands up in defense and left for the toilets.

Shortly after Dylan disappeared, following after Ashton.

“Why did you tell him I have a boyfriend?”, you suddenly spoke up.

Calum jumped at your words, since he expected you to be asleep. Suddenly he found himself in a position where he had to explain himself.

“Dylan just isn’t one of the nice guys” he explained quietly with his head down, not looking at you.

You didn’t know where you got the sudden push of confidence as you placed your head on his shoulder and tried to get some more sleep since you had another 30 minutes in the train ahead of you. Also, you weren’t really to keen on having a conversation with Dylan at this point.

Calum’s heart skipped a beat at your sudden move. But at the same time, it feels so natural for you to be close to him and sleeping peacefully. Its kind of calmed Calum down at the same time as it brought, for him, confusing feelings about you up, which he tried to push down for the whole evening now.

“Boyfriend, huh”, Calum heard Dylan say as he spotted you asleep on his shoulders.

As you were at the end station and you had to get out, Calum tried to wake you up softly. He gently shook you at your shoulders.

“We’re here, Y/N. Time to get out” he whispered softly.

As you opened your eyes and looked up at him you had to quickly orientate yourself. As it all came crushing down to you, you took your head off Calum’s shoulder, leaving him instantly missing it. You didn’t know why you got so close to him, but it confused you beyond believe. Why didn’t he reject you as you put your head on his shoulder?

As Dylan, Ashton and actually also Calum were meant to say their goodbyes, because you had another twenty-minute train ride ahead of you until you were home, but the rest of the boys were living in the city, you hugged Dylan and Ashton wishing them a good night. As you were supposed to say bye to Calum, you didn’t know what to do. Hug him? Shake his hand? Wave at him? You heard Calum speak up.

“I’m gonna come with you.”

“What?” your mind took a few seconds to process what he had just told you, “No, Calum, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine, I swear.” You assured him, since bringing you home would take him another hour to get home himself.

“But I want to.” he admitted, glancing at you with a soft smile covering his lips. His looks made you go week in your knees.

“We’ll leave you to it, lovebirds. Goodnight.” Dylan and Ashton said their goodbyes one last time, turning on their heels and walking into the opposite direction of where you were standing.

“Why?” you asked, your voice almost inaudible.

“Because.” was the only explanation you were getting out of him.

You decided to not further protest and just let him bring you home. For whatever reason he was doing it.

Your second train ride was manly quiet and filled with silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, thought, like you had expected it to be. You didn’t know what it was but something changed between the two of you. As you were looking out of the window, making out the few little lights of people’s houses, where they were still awake, probably watching TV and watching the sky, where you could make out a few little stars, since it was cloudy that evening, you could feel Calum's glare at you. It practically burned itself into your skin. It felt like if he would dare to look away from your slightly blushed cheeks, curvy eyelashes and at the way your nose was shaped, he’d die in an instant.

From time to time you send him a glance yourself, allowing your eyes to meet. You couldn’t hold the glare long, though, the butterflies in your stomach getting the best of you. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel insecure around you anymore. You felt safe.

As you got out of the train, Calum insisted on walking you home as well. Even though you though it was too much, since he must be tired himself, he didn’t accept a no.

“You enjoyed the concert?” he suddenly asked out of the blue, his eyes meeting the concrete walkway underneath him. It almost felt as he was getting all shy on you all of a sudden.

“Yeah, except that I lost my friends, and they also went home without me, it was great!” you stated, making your voice sound sarcastic.

“Wasn’t that bad after all in my opinion.” Calum commented, sounding sincere.

“No. No, it wasn’t.” you admitted. A small smile was forming on your face at the thought of how your evening went down since you lost your friends. It was definitely something you were expecting form yourself but it was fun. You told yourself to do stuff like that more often, without the part of losing your friends.

As you were standing in front of your door, the mood was tense. You didn’t know how to thank Calum properly for accompany you this far.

“I had fun tonight, Y/N.”, Calum admitted, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, me too.”

Last thing you knew after a few long seconds of silence, was Calum starring at your lips before his were directly connected with yours. It wasn’t like you weren’t already surprised enough about how this evening turned out, this action tops it all.

As you were over the first shock, you kissed him back. It was an innocent but still a pure kiss. And you didn’t want it to end. All the weeks, even moths of admiring this boy from the far and now he was kissing you. At that moment nothing seemed important, except for the two of you standing there. The thought of Dylan vanished your mind a long time ago and was replaced with Calum and Calum only.

As the two of you broke apart, Calum was the first one to say something.

“Tell me, Y/N. Why are we doing this only now?”

You pressed your forehead against his, smiling. At this moment you felt nothing but happiness. It was a feeling you haven’t witnessed this strong in quite a while.

“I don’t think you have a train back to the city until five in the morning.” you informed him, slightly giggling, “Wanna stay over?”

“I’d appreciate that.”

You opened your front door, stepping inside.

“You’re sleeping on the floor, though.”

[fictionfixations]

coliseum / Scarian [3rd Life] Fic / Thoughts

okay. so. 1. The author has a tumblr so yeah.

2. HOLY SHIT. okay, so let me explain but you can probably tell from the post I reblogged by reading it, BUT the fanfic is currently still a WIP, and not finished yet. I don't know why the post stops at chapter 9 though, because right now it has 14 chapters.

Third- I do not need to actually explain the plot of the story because the blog is already there and if you can't tell like all my other fic thought reviews, i will very much be spoiling it.

so.

Grian. Watchers. Nothing can go wrong with technically Watcher Grian and I love that, and one of my favorite types of characters are Assassins. I dunno, I just find it interesting, but then we meet Scar and HELL YES. Scar conveniently solving the needing a place to stay problem, and honestly Desert Duo's one of my favorites.

I didn't actually take a look at the tags because I don't spoil myself that way and usually just read the summary (and if I'm still ensure what the summary means I go to the tags, but even those are confusing usually)

So zero idea there was Scarian but that was lovely too (honestly there was this note that said something about Grian and platonic feelings that made me go 'lol haha' and then do a double take like 'wait does he actually have platonic feelings and ive just been misunderstanding?' lMAO but then i think they.. got a little heated..? its not explicit but like.. uh... aNYwAY)

Scar. former mercenary. broke his legs because he misjudged how high a jump was. ow. but i think this was what Grian needed to get in a bit of a more comfortable household? Like cause so, he probably wouldn't be all that used to someone being kind or some shit and would be better with someone kinda like him (a little doubt there, theres always that sort of tension usually between two mercenaries as they both have capabilities to be able to take out the other)

but hed be able to release his tension a little bit with something more.. kind of familiar..? i dont know where I was going with that

And then Grian, who is.. suffering and I am very terrified he is going to die.

ALSO HE HAD WINGS? i dont know but the text where he was on the roof and something about his wings only JUST registered now. okay. that took awhile wtf.

ALSO A TRAITOR? dun dun dunnn

We were all played for fools. BUT GRIAN YOU OBSERVANT FUCK

also scar leaving bdubs (unless it was big b somehow and ive been misreading his name but doubt) free?? i mean. unexpected. i mean the truth being revealed about why was awful but like...

yeah so i dont really think about consequences and i think that says a lot about me

also. grian. attempting to kill scar.

GRIAN YOU IDIOT WHADIUWASHDUH

you dont know how stressed that got me because like

griAN..

but then he didnt and im so fucking glad BUT THEN HOLY SHIT it got.. heated.

uh.

ALSO GRIANS GOING TO DIE IM PREDICTING IT HERE BECAUSE THEYRE SPENDING SO MUCH TIME DOING OTHER STUFF AND ITS STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT

Honestly though I thought that the traitor had like ill intentions and was completely against them instead of the story BDubs had instead (ALSO JOEL AND CLEO nooOOOOOO)

and that like.. something something, theyd run out of time and then grian go x-x

i am terrified though. If Grian does die then hes leaving scar alone and i cant bear that thought and i know he has jellie but like

THEY JUST CONFIRMED EACH OTHERS FEELINGS AND NOW THEY HAVE A EVEN BIGGER BOND

but thats so fucking vulnerable to the pain thats going to be caused if they dont get it fucking done

and also rens either putting on some mask but im pretty sure grian would see through it BUT HE WAS TIRED? and not at the start of course but ren only carried him to his room when grian almost died and oh if youre reading this without reading the fic first then shame on you and haha you will never understand what happened until you read it

BUT WHAT

also also also also The sound of something shattering, and then the next chapter Grian mentioning that the earring was gone I HAD A FEELING THAT WAS WHAT SHATTERED- i had like a thought that maybe it either just broke when he fell(?? but ren said he pulled him away so he mustve fell against ren so thats no i think) or that it like.. something magic? maybe the clock caused it and i think somewhere in between was like 'what if it was for like his safety and like broke when it was used up or something' like idk, a totem because i cant think of anything else but they also arent red i dont think..? and the earring was red unless i misread the color somehow

BUT THEN SCAR WAS PANICKED i dont know how he was able to tell it broke, maybe it broke on his end too but then what if it was reversed and scar got a near death experience that shattered Grian's? Or is there some sort of magic thing that alerts Scar?? hm..

honestly imagine Grian just fuckin died

thatd be a shitty end but I would like to see an alternate ending possibly. i live and die for angst. because i like angst, but it also kills me and leaves me sobbing

but so so so

maybe ren isnt as his reputation shows him of to be and is a kind guy and its either grian dies or ren dies OR they pull a 180 and go against the watchers but doubt because theyre fuckin gods (i think grian says somewhere that they arent but i dont have any other title that works for them)

so this is a tough situation

AND THESE ARE KINDA JUST THEORIES

im terrified D:

honestly excited to see where this goes but im scared shits gonna happen

its so close to the end but its also not at the same time and its stressing me out (I mean 4-5 more chapters??) BUT SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN THAT MANY CHAPTERS

aAAa

COLISEUM

ao3 / tumblr tag

(steampunk/fantasy au, scarian, third life retelling) Grian is on a mission: kill the Red King of the Third Precinct. Unfortunately, when he travels to the capital where the king resides, he lands in a spot of trouble with a local merchant when he accidentally destroys the merchant’s shop. After he enters into a contract to help pay off the damages, he discovers that there might be another side to Scar under the silver-tongued salesman— and that he’s not the only one who wants the Red King dead.

fanart:

scar’s design

chapter six

MASTERLIST:

♠ chapter 1

♠ chapter 2

♠ chapter 3

♠ chapter 4

♠ chapter 5

♠ chapter 6

♠ chapter 7

♠ chapter 8

♠ chapter 9 (in the works)

[chapter-61]

85 questions tag

i was tagged by jackie @jjjolly!! thank u omg it’s been a long time since i did these

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people

— What was your last…

1. Drink: water

2. Phone call: my mom

3. Text message: my friend to wish her a happy birthday

4. Song you listened to: I Adore U by Adore Delano

5. Time you cried: a week ago

6. Dated someone twice: pffft nah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: pffft nah

8. Been cheated on: pffft nah

9. Lost someone special: not sure?

10. Been depressed: idk what qualifies as being depressed but see number 5

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: pffft nah

— Fave colours

12. light blue

13. pastel purple/pink

14. soft yellow

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: acquaintances yes, friends im not sure

16. Fallen out of love: pffft nah

17. Laughed until you cried: definitely

18. Found out someone was talking about you: don’t think so?

19. Met someone who changed you: for the worse, maybe yeah

20. Found out who your friends are: i guess?

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: pffft nah

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all of them (i havent seen some of them in like 7 years tho)

23. Do you have any pets: yeah!! a cat and a dog, i love em

24. Do you want to change your name: nah i’m not original enough to come up with a better one

25. What did you do for your last birthday: had a party with my best friends and i did a quiz

26. What time did you wake up today: 8:30am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading fanfiction lmao

28. What is something you can’t wait for: finishing university and getting a job

30. What are you listening to right now: the chatter of people around me

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah, a teacher i have rn is named Tom (i dont like him)

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: fucsking group projects

33. Most visited website: tumblr probably

34. Hair colour: dark blonde (tho everyone i know would argue its brown)

35. Long or short hair: pretty long but not long enough

36. Do you have a crush on someone: pffft nah

37. What do you like about yourself: my books

38. Want any piercings: i want earrings but ive tried that twice now and it didnt work out

39. Blood type: O+

40. Nicknames: ev, furry (its not funny)

41. Relationship status: pfffft nah

42. Sign: pisces

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: uhmmm... the good place?

45. Tattoos: nope

46. Right or left handed: right

47: Ever had surgery: yeah more than once

48. Piercings: nope

49. Sport: pfffft nah

50. Vacation: im going to croatia this summer so im pretty excited about that!! but dream vacation? a warm place where i can be lazy and read books

51. Trainers: right now? no its way too cold for those

— More general

52. Eating: i just ate lunch which were sandwiches

53. Drinking: water

54. I’m about to watch: i want to continue watching westworld but i have class in a few minutes :/

55. Waiting for: university to be over lmao

56. Want: rest, vacation

57. Get married: pfffft nah

58. Career: IT whatever

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: uhm.... kisses from my dog?

60. Lips or eyes: eyes

61. Shorter or taller: im taller, i prefer smaller friends so i can make fun of them

62. Older or younger: all my friends are younger

63. Nice arms or stomach: i dont care??

64. Hookup or relationships: platonic relationships

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: whatever dude

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: pfffft nah

67. Drank hard liquor: pfffft nah

68.Turned someone down: uh i guess

69. Sex on first date: pfffft nah

70: Broken someone’s heart: don’t think so?

71. Had your heart broken: pfffft nah

72. Been arrested: pfffft nah

73. Cried when someone died: yeah

74. Fallen for a friend: pfffft nah

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: uhm.... sometimes. mostly i believe in laziness

76. Miracles: no. fate? yes.

77. Love at first sight: for some people, sure

78. Santa Claus: oh yeah definitely

79. Angels: on earth? sure

— Misc

80. Eye colour: blue

81. Best friends name: morgan/mayke/preal <3

82. Favourite movie: idk man i love too many movies

83. Favourite actor: ...sebastian stan

84. Favourite cartoon: voltron

85. Favourite teacher’s name: this year? els

i need to tag 20 people oh god. if i tagged u, u dont have to do it of course, im just trying to get to 20 lmao:

@tiredindefinitely @page342 @anna-doodle @rasqeu @cosmic-boyfriend @thepennybunce @baz-snow-and-simon-grimm-pitch @samypotter @pitchblack-snowwhite @helloiamace @justasmallbloginabigklainefandom @hekissesme @fictiononlyplease @too-aroace-for-this-shit @wellgoatsarecool @slytheroutofmybed @carryonmylovelies @snowbaz-lover @basilptich @snowbaz-is-otp

[allcatsaregreyt]

Sollux Captor - Today at 4:47 AM

[TA began trolling CA!] @Eri Ampora TA: hey, i know you really don't want to talk to me right now, and reflecting on everything, i can't say i blame you in the fucking slightest. TA: you don't have to respond to me TA: but TA: uh TA: please dont block me yet TA: because there's a lot a want to tell you and itll take a few messages to do it TA: afterwards ill leave you alone

Eri Ampora - Today at 4:49 AM

[There's no response. But there's no idle message.]

Sollux Captor - Today at 5:59 AM

TA: when i met you, you were just this fun guy who memed the appropriate amount to be unserious and likeable, and you were fun to mess with too. just. a really fun person to be around. i really wanted someone like that around in my life, you know? TA: the pitch crush i gained on you should have really stayed just a crush, because outside of playful banter and memes, our relationship didn't really have much foundation. you weren't ready yet, and i wanted more out of you than you were ever willing to give me. TA: you started getting flush for me while i started getting pale for you because the more i learned about you, the more i started to pity you. the more i wanted to help you. TA: i wanted to fix you. TA: what an arrogant thought, right? TA: but i never thought of you as a project or a puzzle, i always thought of you as a person, my partner, someone hurting that i wanted to see heal. i wanted to be the one who could help you get there. TA: but, well. i'm shit with people. TA: and we both agree that you have a lot of shitty qualities too. TA: i couldn't figure out how to help, the only thing i knew that worked to get you to open up was to push you until you cracked. no one ever offered any other solutions, and it was the only thing i had to get you to talk to me. TA: that was wrong to you, and i don't think i can ever apologize enough for doing that to you. it'll never be enough. TA: i feel like i was wrong for making you be in a relationship with me to begin with. TA: i'm proud of how far you've come, of how much you've healed. TA: but trying to evaluate that pride, maybe that's wrong too. maybe i'm only proud because you did what i wanted you to do. TA: and that's disgusting too. TA: i hate people doing what i want because they don't want to bother telling me otherwise. Sollux Captor - Today at 6:00 AM TA: all this time i thought i was doing the right thing. doing right by you. i genuinely believed it. i've poured so much into trying to get you to thrive and be happy that i lost that ability for myself, and i'm realizing that it not only wasn't ever asked for, but didn't even help. TA: i wasted both of our times, all these last few months. TA: i'm still guilty about hurting you, when i was trickster. TA: i remember the whole thing. i remember that i was made to hate you. but i was so bitter even without that. TA: bitter that you kept running away because you needed to be left alone, and i wouldn't give you that. TA: i should have given up, back then. TA: when of all the things you could have chosen to forget to make your life easier, you chose me instead. TA: that i was the thing making your life so terrible, that you needed to erase me from it to find peace. TA: what did i do instead? TA: i kept pushing. TA: maybe mindfang was right about me and i do have some kind of hero complex. TA: need to be a savior. need to create the disaster. TA: and it did this to you. TA: you deserve so much more. TA: you deserve someone who can love you the right way, not poison you with "good intentions". TA: i really hope karkat can do that for you. TA: i hope that nothing happens between the two of you because of me. TA: please dont be mad at him. TA: we never really even had a real talk about breaking up. TA: just some vague ventposts. TA: i've never been more blind in my life than i have when being in a relationship with you, eri. TA: i didn't know where to go, had no one who would tell me, and you wouldn't talk. TA: i had to do trial and error and even that was hard because you wouldn't tell me if i was doing something wrong. TA: i didn't WANT to give up on you. TA: but trying to help you has eaten me to the point of crying constantly, and i just couldn't fucking do it anymore. TA: my heart can't handle it. i couldn't do it anymore. TA: but i didn't have an intention to stop being your friend, or to stop supporting you. TA: karkat said he'd keep doing what i tried to do, and hell, god knows he's doing it better than i ever did or could. TA: he said that maybe, once you'd healed, we could be together again. TA: but i knew then that it wouldn't happen, even if i could be hopeful. TA: i knew karkat and i wouldn't be enough, that's why i used my contacts to set you up with a therapist who could. TA: i hope she helps you. > There's a pause. TA: i dont know what pushed you to want to kill people in my town, i don't know how saness found you to stop you. TA: karkat and i were really, really sick when that happened. TA: i could barely walk and still i told her i'd come there if i needed to. TA: i wanted to make sure you were okay. TA: but i TA: i felt like you didnt want me there TA: that me being there would have made it all worse TA: so i didn't TA: after i found out where you were i was trying to figure out how to make things better TA: i'm fucking terrified of star but i contacted him because you two were close TA: i thought maybe you two could stay together TA: so that saness wouldnt have to keep you prisoner TA: but then star told me that you two fell out TA: and i didnt know any other options TA: i wanted to talk to you so badly TA: i wanted to understand what was happening TA: i was at school when shit hit the fan and i asked saness again if i could go there TA: because there wasnt another way to you TA: and i was so fucking scared eri TA: i couldnt lose you TA: i couldnt lose another moirail TA: i didnt want anyone doing anything they would regret TA: and i didnt have any fucking answers to suggest anything TA: i heard you were going to that prince guy TA: nadire? TA: and he was kind to karkat TA: so i thought youd be safe there TA: and im glad you went TA: and fuck i've already said so much but there's still so much i want you to know TA: i'm sorry about everything that's happened with saness TA: i'm sorry i pushed you so hard TA: i'm sorry i couldn't be a good kismesis TA: or moirail TA: or matesprit TA: fuck i haven't even been a good friend to you. TA: i'm never going to regret meeting you, or loving you. TA: i'm never going to regret kissing you, or forget anything that the stuffed wolf stood for. TA: did you know i got the scarf its wearing from star TA: star told me not to tell you that but i dont think im going to talk to you again TA: star was the one who hired me to check up on you while you were still living with me too TA: i wasnt supposed to say that either but it doesnt matter anymore TA: you deserve to know all the things i didnt tell you or couldnt tell you or wouldnt tell you TA: ive appreciated all the time weve spent together TA: theres been so much trouble but theres been so much good too TA: i miss you TA: i miss holding your hand TA: im not going to live all that long compared to you but TA: youre someone im always going to think about TA: no ones ever going to replace you eri TA: so what if theres people with your name TA: so what if im dating one TA: hes not you TA: and hell never be you TA: hes got your voice but ive never heard you in his words TA: youre sweet and kind and troubled and so so gentle and TA: not replaced TA: im sorry i just realized you wouldnt care for any of this TA: im sorry ive guilted you so much TA: im sorry ive pushed you TA: im sorry i broke promises TA: im sorry ive hurt you TA: im sorry ive forced you TA: im sorry ive cornered you TA: im sorry for all the things i cant name TA: i blocked you because i thought youd be better off without me still trying to engage this awful friendship TA: and im going to want to every time i see you TA: because just seeing your username on the dash makes me smile TA: just like it did months ago TA: even after everything thats happened TA: thinking about you makes me smile eri TA: and it still will TA: im not going to go to your lighthouse anymore TA: im having a transportalizer put into the hole so i dont have to cross your property to get into it TA: and its far enough away that it shouldnt be a bother for you TA: ill stay out of sight so you dont have to see me at all TA: and if its still not good enough ill abandon it and dig out elsewhere TA: but i can't leave it because the bees need cared for TA: and im sorry for getting mad TA: at this point i dont have a right to be angry TA: i took your tag as an invitation and broke in TA: and hell thats probably what you were baiting me for TA: because youre fucking smart and im just a shitty lowblood that happens to know how to hack TA: i'm not going to say im sorry for being in your life TA: you would have died TA: and i dont know maybe you would have preferred that TA: but ive been grateful for the extended time ive gotten with you TA: but i dont think ive helped you at all since the start TA: just gave you a few laughs but ultimately ive only hurt you TA: and i dont even think youre still reading at this point ive sent a lot TA: youll probably block me before you finish because its annoying TA: so its probably safe to say this by now TA: before we cut this off forever TA: i want to see you one more time TA: i want to give you a hug TA: and i want to say goodbye TA: because youre a real person TA: and you deserve a proper seperation instead of everything happening over text [TA ceased trolling CA!]

Eri Ampora - Today at 6:05 AM

CA: i don't think i could look you in the eye wwithout feelin' sick. don't come to see me.[CA ceased trolling TA!][CA has blocked TA!]