#Calum Hood x reader

[blckstarcal]

Why Won’t You Love Me?

MDNI

paring: calum hood x reader

summary: your life is falling apart, and in a desperate attempt to find some semblance of comfort in your chaotic world, you end up at the doorstep of one of your best friends.

warnings: mentions of a toxic relationship with luke, mentions of substance abuse, mentions of rehab, weed usage, safe sex teehee, oral (f receiving), fluffy desperate sex, whimpery calum, slight body worship, angst for days, unrequited love

word count: 5.7k

a/n: this story is really nothing like the ones i have up before truthfully, it’s because it wasn’t meant to be published. i wrote this based on some of my own struggles, but i kinda love how it turned out. quick disclaimer, although i use peoples names in this fic, it’s not a reflection of who i think they are as people. this is all in good fun, not meant to be a serious attack on anybody’s character. anyways, enjoy.

as always, thank u to zuza for editing this ur the best 🫶

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You weren’t entirely sure why you had ended up at Calum’s doorstep. Your cheeks burned, chest tight with emotion as you hesitated, then rang the doorbell.

You had run circles around the idea in your head, knowing how complicated it would be to show up here. Calum was Luke’s best friend, his bandmate, and the last person you should’ve turned to. But the weight of everything—the withdrawal, the breakup, the utter mess your life had become—pushed you forward, even as doubt clawed at your resolve.

Would he even want to see you? Would he resent you for the way you ended things with Luke? You had wrestled with those questions all day, replaying every bitter moment of the breakup. You hadn’t meant to be so cruel. It wasn’t your intention to cut so deeply, but the withdrawal had stripped you of any semblance of patience or clarity.

And then, as soon as you were discharged from the hospital, you had gone running back to Luke. Desperate, aching, hoping to salvage what was left.

But then you saw them.

The door opened before you could spiral any further. Calum stood there, his brown eyes scanning you with a mixture of concern and surprise. “Y/N?” he asked, a small, tentative smile tugging at his lips. “You’re still here?”

His smile brought you a fleeting sense of relief, though you had braced herself for rejection. After all, if Luke could hate you, why wouldn’t Calum? Your mind replayed the raw memory of Luke’s anger when you begged for his forgiveness. The sting of seeing him move on so quickly still lingered in your chest.

It had only been two weeks since your overdose, yet he was already in bed with someone else—Sierra, of all people. You had known from the moment her name flashed on his notifications that her intentions weren’t pure. And you’d been right.

“I’m leaving for rehab soon,” you said softly, your voice cracking. “And I don’t want to be alone on my last night.”

Calum’s expression darkened, his sadness unmistakable. Without hesitation, he reached out, taking your hand and pulling you inside.

You had managed to keep things normal between you after you had drunkenly hooked up last year, but you would be lying if you said you hadn’t noticed the subtle shift. Calum’s gaze lingered too long whenever you were with Luke, his quiet, intense eyes studying you two with something unspoken and unreadable.

“Wanna go out to the terrace?” Calum asked, his voice soft, a faint smile on his lips.

You nodded, taking his hand as you stepped outside into the cool night air. The breeze was crisp, refreshing, and you relished it as a small reprieve from everything weighing you down.

You curled up on one of the couches, pulling your legs to your chest and resting your chin on your knees. Calum slipped back inside for a moment, returning with a rolling tray and a grinder in hand. You laughed lightly.

“I’m supposed to be sober, you know,” you teased, raising an eyebrow.

“From oxy,” he countered, smirking as he sat down across from you. “Isn’t there a thing called ‘California sober’ or whatever?”

You laughed again, shaking your head. “Shut up and roll the joint.”

Calum grinned and got to work, expertly grinding the weed and rolling a joint with practiced ease. He lit the end, taking a long, slow drag before passing it to you. You mirrored his action, inhaling deeply—too deeply—until you erupted into a coughing fit.

“At least I’ll get a decent high,” you wheezed, shaking your head with a small, rueful grin.

“So, rehab,” Calum said, his tone light but tinged with something else—sadness, maybe, or hesitation. His eyes followed yours, searching, as if trying to grasp what wasn’t being said.

You exhaled a plume of smoke, watching it dissolve into the night. “God, don’t remind me,” you muttered, taking another hit before leaning back against the cushions. “Some facility in the middle of buttfuck nowhere, Nebraska. Flight leaves tomorrow.”

The air grew heavy between you, filled with the distant sounds of the city below. You glanced over to find Calum watching you, his brows slightly furrowed.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said finally, his voice quiet, a casual shrug betraying the weight of his words. “But I guess I’ll see you after?”

Your chest tightened, the lump in your throat rising before you could stop it. You turned to look at him, your voice quieter than you intended.

“Cal,” you began, hesitating for a moment. “I’m moving to London when I get out.”

The words hung heavy in the cool air, their weight settling between you. Calum’s faint smile faded entirely, his expression faltering as your statement sank in.

There was enough space between you that no part of you touched, and for some reason, you hated that.

“You’re leaving?” he asked quietly, his gaze dropping to his shoes. “For good?”

You shook your head, your voice soft. “I’ll be back for filming and work stuff, but I won’t be living in L.A. anymore. I can’t.”

“Because of Luke and Sierra?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. You flinched at the name, your stomach twisting with shame and anger. Every mention of Sierra made you feel small, like a fool for ever trusting Luke.

Luke had lied about everything—about seeing Arzaylea before coming to your apartment and claiming to be in love with you, about Sierra, about all of it. If you hadn’t stumbled into his apartment and seen the truth for yourself, you might have still been in the dark.

“Sure,” you sighed, brushing the thought aside. “And my family will be closer. They want to help me stay sober.”

“I could help you.” Calum’s voice was firm, his gaze locked on yours, determined.

Your heart skipped at his words, and unbidden memories of your moments together flashed in your mind—the way you’d gone from indifference to friendship, to that one night that had blurred every line. He’d insisted it remain a one-time thing, but that never stopped him from touching your shoulder softly, or smiling at you like you were the only thing that made the world spin right.

“Cal… no,” you sighed, shaking your head. “I can’t expect that of you.”

A beat of silence passed, heavy and fraught. Then, barely audible, he said, “I’m in love with you.”

You didn’t flinch. You weren't surprised, not really. A sad smile tugged at your lips as you exhaled. “I know,” you murmured. “But this—” you gestured between the two of you, your voice faltering. “How could this ever work?”

He shrugged, frustration simmering beneath the surface. “Luke started screwing Sierra despite the fact that she and Ashton had a thing before. It’s not like this would be new territory for us.”

“Yeah,” you said softly. “But it’s new for me.”

“So this is it, then? Our goodbye?” Calum’s voice cracked, anger and defeat mingling as his broad shoulders slumped.

Your heart twisted painfully in your chest. You wanted to reach for him, to hold him, but your hands stayed firmly at your sides. A fleeting, reckless thought bloomed in the back of your mind—a glimpse of a life where you could stay, where you could fall asleep next to the boy with warm brown eyes and wake up to him every morning, never feeling the ache of leaving again.

Your throat tightened, the words heavy on your tongue. “I can’t say I love you,” you whispered, your voice breaking under the weight of your truth. “But, God, I wish I could.”

The air between you thickened with unspoken longing, a current of electricity passing between your gazes. Calum’s brows furrowed as he took a hesitant step closer, his eyes glimmering with equal parts hurt and hope. “Why not?” he asked softly, his voice trembling.

“Because it’s Luke,” you said, shaking your head. Your voice cracked under the weight of your confession. “You have no idea how badly I wish it could be you. That I could have you in my head every second of every day instead of him. You’ve never hurt me. You love me wholly. You’d never put that love at risk.”

“Then let me be the one in your head,” he pleaded, his voice low and desperate. “Just for tonight.”

Your breath hitched as his words settled in your chest. You looked at him, your heart hammering against your ribs. He was leaning toward you now, his eyes searching yours, desperate.

“Is that really what you want?” you asked, your voice barely audible.

“Please, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “Let me say goodbye the way I want to.”

Your mouth went dry, and you weren't sure if it was from the weed or the way Calum was looking at you. The idea—the possibility—was strangely appealing.

“Okay,” you breathed.

Slowly, you moved toward him, swinging one leg over his lap to straddle him. You stared at each other for a heartbeat, your hands gently cupping his cold cheeks.

He leaned in first, his eyes fluttering shut as his lips brushed yours, soft and tentative.

The second you registered the kiss, all of your composure unraveled. You sighed against his lips, threading your fingers into his curly hair as the kiss deepened with a fervor that surprised you. His hands slid down to your waist, gripping you firmly as he pulled you closer.

Without breaking the kiss, Calum stood, lifting you effortlessly as if you weighed nothing. His hands gripped your waist tightly, holding you as though you were the only thing grounding him.

He carried you inside with steady determination, the world around you blurring into insignificance. When you finally reached his room, Calum kicked the door shut behind you. The soft rattle set off Duke, who began barking incessantly from somewhere down the hall.

You couldn't help but laugh against his lips, the sound breaking the tension for a moment. Calum pulled back slightly after setting you down in the bed, chuckling as well.

“Duke, calm down,” he called out, his voice amused but firm. Then, turning back to you, a playful smile tugged at his lips. “He always acts up when he knows there's something I want.”

“And what is it that you want?” you whispered, your voice low and teasing as your hands slipped beneath his shirt, your fingers trailing along the hard ridges of his stomach.

Calum's response came in the form of another kiss, deeper and more urgent this time. “You,” he murmured against your lips.

The kiss intensified, your lips moving with a quiet desperation that made your heart race and your stomach flutter. Calum's hands roamed your sides with deliberate care, as if he were memorizing the feel of you.

You matched his fervor, your hands trembling as you tugged at his shirt. This felt different—more intense, more intimate—than the last time. There hadn’t been much hesitation then, just two people driven by pure need, but now, you could feel a semblance of giddy awkwardness in the air.

Calum pulled back just enough to shrug off his shirt, the fabric falling carelessly to the floor. His hands immediately found your face, cupping your cheeks as he brought your lips back to his.

Your hands moved across his bare skin, tracing the curve of his muscles, the lines of his tattoos— a detail you had committed to memory. You tugged him down with you, but he stopped, pulling away slightly with a small smirk.

“Nuh-uh,” he teased, his lips brushing yours. “Your shirt's coming off too, Y/N.”

“Then take it off,” you challenged, your voice breathless and filled with need. “Take everything off. I need you.”

Calum's eyes darkened, his expression shifting from playful to serious in an instant. His hands found the hem of your shirt, and with one swift motion, he pulled it over your head, tossing it aside. One hand cupped the back of your neck, holding you close as his lips claimed yours again.

The other hand moved skillfully to the clasp of your bra, undoing it with ease. The garment slipped away, leaving you bare beneath his touch. Calum's lips moved to your neck, pressing soft, lingering kisses along your skin, his hands sliding down your back and pulling you closer.

His mouth trailed down to your collarbone, grazing the delicate skin with soft nips that made you gasp. Slowly, his lips descended to your chest, capturing your nipple in his mouth with a deliberate tenderness. You let out a quiet moan, your hands tangling in Calum's hair as your eyelids fluttered shut, your breath hitching at the sensation.

“You're so fucking beautiful,” Calum groaned against your skin, his voice filled with awe and desire. His eyes lifted to meet yours, darkened with longing, his pupils blown wide. Slowly, he kissed his way back up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss there before nudging his nose against yours in an intimate gesture that made your chest ache.

But then it hit you—a sudden wave of guilt crashing over you, sharp and cold. What were you doing? Were you just using him? Using his kindness, his patience, and the way he cared about you, all because you didn't want to feel alone? Your body tensed, and you froze, pushing him away slightly.

Calum immediately pulled back, concern flooding his features as his hands cupped your face. “What is it?” he asked softly, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “Are you okay?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows, your eyes darting across his face, searching for something—anything—that might tell you he wasn't as sure about this as he claimed. “Are you sure you want to do this?” you asked hesitantly. “I mean, I can't—I can't give you what you want, Cal. I won't even be here most of the time, and—”

“Y/N,” he interrupted, his voice steady but tinged with urgency. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against yours. “Stop. I want this. I want you.”

Your heart clenched, but you still hesitated, guilt and uncertainty gnawing at you. “Cal, I—”

“Please,” he whispered, his voice dropping to something raw and vulnerable. “Let me have this. Let me have tonight. Just... just let me. Let me give you a proper goodbye. Let me give us a proper goodbye.”

His words hung between you, heavy with longing and unspoken emotion. Your breath hitched, your resolve faltering as you looked into his eyes. There was no hesitation there, no doubt—only a fierce, aching need for you. “Would you let me?” His lips brushed against yours ever so carefully. “Please let me.”

Wordlessly, you nodded, swallowing down your fears, worries, and the ache in your chest.

Calum's smile was soft yet radiant, a quiet reassurance that melted some of your hesitation. You could feel him smiling against your lips as he kissed you again, and before you realized it, your own lips curved into a matching smile. His hands roamed your body with reverence, each touch gentle and deliberate, as if you were something sacred.

With practiced care, he began unbuttoning your jeans, his lips trailing away from your mouth to press heated kisses down your jawline. He lingered near your earlobe, nipping it lightly, and you let out a small, contented sigh. Your hips rose instinctively, allowing him to tug the denim down your legs in one smooth motion.

“Fuck,” he breathed, his voice rough with want. “You have no idea how long l've been waiting for this.” His mouth found yours again, urgent and insistent, his hips pressing down against your thigh while his fingers trailed lightly down your chest, making you shiver. His lips wandered back to your breasts, lingering there with soft kisses and teasing bites that made you gasp.

“What do you want, Calum?” you gasped, your hips bucking upward, seeking friction with an urgency that made your voice crack. “Tell me.”

When he lifted his gaze to meet yours, the intensity in his eyes stole your breath. They were dark, glazed over, and filled with raw need. He looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered, as though the world could crumble around you and he wouldn't care. “I want to touch you,” he murmured, his voice rough, the words muffled by the kisses he pressed down your sternum.

“Then touch me, baby,” you urged, your fingers threading through the damp curls on his forehead, pushing them back. Your tone was soft, but your words were charged, dripping with encouragement. “Make me feel so good.”

The soft groan that escaped his lips felt almost involuntary, a raw reaction to your words. It sent a shiver through you, straight to your core. His hand slipped beneath your underwear, his fingers finding your clit with precision. He moved in slow, deliberate circles, drawing a sharp gasp from your lips.

When his fingers dipped lower, teasing your entrance, he froze for a moment, as though savoring the sensation. Feeling how ready you were for him, he let out a deep, guttural groan, the sound vibrating against your skin.

“Oh my God,” he whispered, his voice heavy with awe, every word tinged with disbelief. “You're already so wet. Fuck, Y/N... you're perfect.”

His words sent heat rushing through you, your back arching as your body responded to his touch. You bit your lip, trying to hold back the moan that threatened to spill, but the way he touched you, slow and deliberate yet filled with need, made it impossible.

He didn't wait, slipping a finger inside you with ease, watching your reaction with rapt attention.

You let out a sharp cry, your back arching instinctively as pleasure shot through you. “Oh, fuck,” you gasped, your fingers threading tighter through Calum's hair, holding him close. “Just like that, baby.”

Calum moved with deliberate care, curling his finger inside you, his steady rhythm coaxing soft, breathless moans from your lips.

Every movement seemed calculated to draw you closer to the edge, yet it was laced with tenderness that left you dizzy. The way your body responded to his touch had his lips parting, his breath hitching in admiration as if he couldn't believe what he was witnessing.

“That feels so good,” you sighed, your voice trembling as your nails lightly scraped the nape of his neck. “You're doing so good.”

Your praise sent a shiver through him, and his eyes darkened further, his pupils blown wide with desire. His breath came faster, his hips rutting against you involuntarily as though he needed you even more than you needed him. “You sound so pretty,” he murmured, his voice low and filled with reverence, though there was an edge of desperation to it, almost a whine. “I can’t get enough of you.”

You pulled at his hair, your eyes falling shut in bliss. Calum was working his fingers at a steady pace, moaning as if he too was the one getting off. The fact that he was so worked up by the mere fact that he’d been touching you made a wave of heat rush down your body.

His lips kissed down your torso, leaving no mark of your skin unkissed. “I need to taste you,” he gasped, continuing to inch down your body. He was shaking with anticipation, fingers never faltering. “You’re so wet and so pretty, and it’s all for me. I did that to you.”

You nodded rapidly, another moan falling from your lips. “Need your mouth on me,” Calum’s breath hitched at your words, his kisses down your body growing more sloppy by the second. He didn’t waste any time in pushing your legs open, taking deliberate care to suck at the skin of your hipbone.

You propped yourself on your elbows, watching through half lidded eyes as Calum finally pressed a small kiss to your inner thigh. Already fed up, you let out a frustrated mewl. “Cal, please.”

Calum’s entire body shuddered, and you saw the way his eyes widened momentarily before his mouth latched on to your clit. He let out a moan against you when the taste of you overwhelmed his senses, and you didn’t miss the way his eyes essentially rolled back into his head.

“You’re so dreamy like this,” you gasped, his lips sucking at your sensitive bud enough to make your legs shake around his head. “You make me feel so good— oh, fuck, just like that.”

Calum let out a shaky whine, his hips grinding involuntarily against the mattress as he looked up at you, his wide, awe-filled eyes glistening with unspoken devotion. His movements were uncoordinated, almost frantic, as though he was utterly consumed by you, his tongue lapping and sucking at your clit with an intensity so raw it sent shockwaves through your trembling legs.

“You taste so good,” he panted, his voice unsteady and reverent between his breathless licks. “Your thighs are shaking— fuck, I did that to you. I made you feel like this.”

You bit your lip hard, your eyes squeezing shut as the tidal wave of sensation crashed through you. Every nerve in your body felt alive, strung out on the overwhelming pleasure he was giving you. Calum's hands wandered your torso with a desperation that bordered on worship, gripping your skin tightly, as if grounding himself in the reality of you.

Stars burst behind your eyelids as your body arched into his touch, the sensation cresting to an unbearable peak. The sight of him—his flushed cheeks, his lips glistening with you, his pupils blown wide with adoration—was almost too much. You needed more, needed him closer, needed all of him.

Reaching down, you tangled your fingers gently in his curls, tugging him away from your overstimulated clit. Calum let out a soft, almost pitiful moan of protest, his lips brushing against your skin as though he couldn't bear to let go. Still, he obeyed, letting you guide him back up your body, his warm breath fanning over your skin with each ragged inhale.

Your lips met in a kiss so heated it left you dizzy, your mouths colliding with a fervent need that neither could deny. You could taste yourself on his tongue, a heady reminder of how completely Calum had given himself to you. The realization sent a fresh wave of desire coursing through you, and you wrapped your arms around him, pulling him closer until there was no space left between you.

Calum let out a broken whimper against your lips, his whole body trembling as though he was barely holding himself together. “Y/N,” he choked out, his voice laced with desperation, his breath coming in shallow pants. “I need you. I need all of you. Please. I don't know how much longer I can wait.”

His words sent a shiver down your spine, and your heart pounded in your chest as you looked into his wide, awe-stricken eyes. His pupils were blown with need, his lips slightly parted as he hovered over you, waiting for permission like his entire world depended on your answer.

“Fuck me,” you breathed, pulling him down into another kiss that was all heat and urgency. “Don't wait anymore. Just fuck me.”

Calum let out a soft, broken sound, his head dropping into the crook of your neck as he nodded, his curls tickling your skin. He kissed the sensitive spot just below your ear, his lips trailing down your neck with a desperation that made your body ache for him even more.

When he sucked hard enough to leave a mark, you arched into him, your hands tangling in his hair, too far gone to care about anything else.

“Y/N,” he gasped, his voice raw and shaking as his hands roamed your body, both frantic and reverent, like he couldn't touch enough of you at once. “You don't understand. I'd do anything for you. Anything. Just say the word.”

Your breath hitched at the sheer devotion in his voice, the weight of his words crashing over you like a wave. You swallowed hard, your hands moving to cradle his face as you met his gaze. “I just need you inside me right now,” you whispered, your voice steady despite the storm of emotions raging inside you.

You watched as Calum reached over to his bedside table, pulling out a condom and hardly ripping the packet open with his teeth. Your eyes followed his movements as he rolled the rubber down in his length. Calum let out a shuddering breath, his hands trembling as he positioned himself between your thighs. He hesitated, his gaze flickering up to yours as if silently asking for reassurance. You cupped his face, brushing your thumb over his cheek with a tenderness that made his breath hitch.

“C’mon baby,” you gasped.

With a shaky nod, he sank into you slowly as though he never wanted the moment to end. A whimper escaped Calum’s lips, a sound so deep and guttural that it made you moan. Your nails sank into his back, and Calum’s head fell forward against your shoulder.

Calum was trembling, his breath coming in ragged pants as he pressed soft, open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your shoulder. “You feel so good,” he whispered, his voice tight with strain, barely holding himself together. “I never want this to end.”

Your eyes fluttered shut, the intensity of the moment washing over you as you felt him stretch you in ways that made you gasp.

When he began to move, a sharp hiss escaped your lips, and Calum froze instantly, his entire body going rigid. His head snapped up, wide eyes filled with concern as they searched your face.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft but urgent, laced with worry.

You bit your lip, nodding slowly as you forced yourself to take a steadying breath. “Yeah,” you said, your voice airy, cheeks flushed. “It's just... it's been a while, and... you're kinda big.”

For a moment, there was silence, and then Calum let out a soft, startled laugh. The sound was rich and genuine, shaking his entire body as the tension melted from his face. His amusement was contagious, and soon enough, you found yourself laughing with him, the shared moment easing the intensity between you.

Still smiling, you reached up, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging him closer until his forehead rested gently against yours. Your laughter softened into quiet breaths, your noses brushing as you lingered in the intimacy of the moment.

“You can move,” you whispered, your voice steady now, laced with trust and anticipation.

Calum exhaled deeply, his eyes darkening with emotion as he nodded, pressing a tender kiss to your lips before he began to move again. This time, his movements were slow and deliberate, his focus entirely on you, his body attuned to yours as you fell into a rhythm that felt as natural as breathing.

You cried out his name again, your nails digging into his back as your legs tightened around his waist. Calum's movements grew more purposeful, his hips snapping against yours with a need that was almost overwhelming. His eyes never left your face, drinking in every gasp and moan as if they were the only sounds in the world.

“You're so perfect,” he breathed, his voice cracking with emotion. He leaned down, brushing his lips over yours in a tender kiss that contrasted sharply with the intensity of his thrusts. “I don't know how I can-fuck, you feel so good. So perfect, Y/N.”

Your body arched beneath him when he shifted slightly, thrusting deeper and hitting the spot that made your toes curl. A sharp cry tore from your throat, your body trembling from the intensity. “You're doing so good,” you gasped, your praise deliberate as you ran your hands down his sweat-slicked back. “You fuck me so good, Calum. Just like that, baby.”

Calum let out a broken moan, his head dropping against your shoulder as your words seemed to ignite something in him. His hips moved faster now, each thrust harder than the last, as if he was trying to lose himself entirely in you. His hand slipped between your bodies, his fingers finding your clit. He hesitated for only a moment before pressing against it, rubbing fast, precise circles that made your breath hitch.

“You're amazing,” he panted, his lips brushing against your ear as he spoke. His voice was wrecked, thick with desperation and adoration. “I just want to make you feel good. Tell me I'm doing it right. Please.”

You let out a whimper, your body seemingly on fire with the intensity of the pleasure. You tangled your fingers in his curls, muttering unintelligible encouragement under your breath. You looked at him, the way his cheeks were flushed with the exertion and desire, and you gave him a breathless smile. “You’re going so good, Cal,” you moaned. “I’m so close.”

Calum’s movements were erratic and eager, desperate to feel you come undone beneath him. His hips stuttered as he tried to maintain the rhythm that had you falling apart beneath him. He was panting hard, moaning your name in breathless pleas. Your nails raked down his back, only spurring Calum on.

“Y/N,” he whispered, his fingers continuing their assault on your clit that made your legs shake uncontrollably. “Please, I need you to come for me. God, I need to feel you clench around me— please baby, fuck. Come on my cock, I can’t hold on much longer.”

Your breath hitched, eyelids fluttering close as you felt the familiar coil begin to tighten in your belly. Sweat was building up on your skin, but you didn’t mind. “Calum— oh my God, please don’t stop.” The combination of his desperation, his eagerness to make you feel good, and the relentless pace of his hips and fingers sent you over the edge.

You came with a loud cry, your lips shaping Calum’s name, your thighs shaking as another shattered moan escaped you. Your vision blurred, your nails digging into Calum’s back as you clung to him, peppering his shoulder with kisses.

“Oh fuck,” Calum groaned, his voice strained with desperation. “You look so pretty falling apart for me, making all my dreams come true.” His thrusts became erratic and messy as he chased his release, his hands gripping your waist like a lifeline as you clenched around him, pulling him deeper.

“Y/N, I'm gonna—” His sentence broke off into a loud whimper, his face burying into the crook of your neck as he feverishly kissed your damp skin.

“Come for me, baby,” you panted, your voice thick with pleasure as your fingers trailed up and down his back before gripping his biceps for support. “You did so good, made me feel so good. Let go for me.”

His body shuddered violently, his hips slamming into yours one last time as he spilled into the condom with a raw, guttural cry. He whispered your name like a prayer, his voice trembling as aftershocks wracked his body.

Shallow, instinctive thrusts carried him through his orgasm, his movements slowly stilling as the tension drained from him.

For a moment, the room was silent except for the sound of your heavy breathing. Your bodies were pressed together, skin slick with sweat, and the weight of him above you was grounding, comforting in a way neither of you could fully explain.

Calum finally pulled away with a soft sigh, rolling off you carefully. His hands were gentle as he removed the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the trash can by the bed. You watched him through half-lidded eyes, your gaze tracing the sharp contours of his body, the way the moonlight filtered through the window and illuminated his tattoos in a soft, ethereal glow.

You knew Calum was beautiful—you always had, even when he’d been less than kind to you. But now, there was something different about him, something raw and desperate. You wondered how they had gone from mutual animosity to Calum being so deeply in love with you that he would settle for just one night of your pretending.

But were you pretending?

The thought lingered in your mind, heavy and uncertain.

“You're beautiful, you know that?” you murmured, your voice quiet but full of admiration as your eyes lingered on him.

Calum turned to face you, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He climbed back into bed, pulling you into his arms and holding you close. “I’m the lucky one,” he whispered against your hair, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. His thumb traced the curve of your cheekbone and then the outline of your lips as though memorizing every detail. Your eyes stayed locked on his, searching for something you couldn’t quite name.

“Stay,” he mumbled, his voice heavy with exhaustion and something softer—hope. “Your flight leaves tomorrow. Just stay the night. I’ll take you there.”

You frowned, your hand instinctively coming to cover his. You didn’t answer immediately, the weight of his words settling deep in your chest. This night had been one of the best you’d had in a long time, a reprieve from the chaos in your mind. And yet, that knowledge brought an ache you didn’t want to examine too closely.

“Calum…” you hesitated, your voice softer now, almost unsure. “I don’t know if I should.”

His hand tightened gently against yours as he leaned forward, capturing your lips in a kiss so tender it stole the air from your lungs. His palm moved to the back of your neck, his touch reverent, urging you closer. Your bare chests pressed together, his other hand settling at the small of your back, anchoring you to him.

When he pulled away, the weight of reality sank between you. You were leaving—leaving this moment, leaving him—and as terrifying as the thought was, it also carried a bittersweet freedom. Leaving Calum meant leaving behind the pain Luke had caused, a fresh start that felt both liberating and heartbreaking.

“Please,” he whispered against your lips, his voice fragile, each word carrying the weight of his longing. He held his breath, his eyes searching yours for even the smallest trace of hope.

You bit your lip, the turmoil in your chest almost too much to bear. You knew what you should do, but you also knew what you wanted—at least for now.

“I’ll stay,” you finally said, your voice steady despite the storm inside you. “Just for tonight.”

Calum exhaled softly, his forehead dropping to rest against yours as relief washed over his features. For now, it was enough. Just tonight, it could be enough.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

i hope you guys enjoyed, and if you sent in a request just know that i saw it and i’m working on it! there are many writing projects that i’ve been juggling so i’m sorry in advance if it takes a little long for it to be posted <33

-allie

[nobitchs-world]

Me after explaining the multiverse of different people and characters where I have different ocs in my head to my sisters

[33-81]

missed but never forgotten 💔

[bartxnhood]

talk fast | c.t.h

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: you both agreed to no strings attached, right?

warnings: oh boy tons of drinking (sorry), smoking, language, brief mentions of sexual activity (nothing explicit), and sexual innuendos.

w/c: 13k

a/n: hi my loves !! this one is a long time coming, i’ve been working on this since september. i started school in november which put a halt on all of my writing, but now that i graduated expect more from me. :). to all of my calum lovers, this one’s for you. p.s: if this does as well as i hope it does, i may consider making this a series on wattpad.

a/n pt.2: shout out everyone who helped my write this. esp @valentiyne you guys are amazing. 🩷

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2024 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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you weren't a stranger to relationships, and you'd had your fair share of them over the years. which you were aware that everyone else did, but you weren’t really serious about relationships. you didn't want to be with someone who didn't envision a future with you or who didn't share your goals.

your friends often told you that you should let loose and enjoy yourself, but that was not the life for you.

you had been in a very healthy relationship with someone you had known since college for the past few years. however, as time went, he became increasingly open about his needs for different things and eventually ended his relationship with you.

you went into a deep depression after the breakup, you didn't leave your apartment for weeks, you only showered maybe twice, and you couldn't remember the last time you ate anything other than instant noodles or ice cream.

what else could you do while you were wasting away? you had imagined spending the rest of your life with him, and now he’s gone.

your life seemed to change overnight.

while your friends and family around tried being there for you, you had pushed them so far away that they had just decided to give up on you. except, your best friend, olivia, finally dragged you out of your bed and forced you to shower so you could go out for the night with her.

“you need to get out, have fun, and forget about that jerk” she states, standing above you as she glides eyeliner on your eyes. “you’re hot, you’re fun, you have a great personality. i’m sure we can find you someone tonight!” she adds while finishing your makeup.

“olivia…” you sigh then look into the mirror, watching as your friend painted your face with a determined look in her eye. “no. we’re gonna have fun, we’re gonna party and get drunk. kay? you need this.” she grins, resting her head on your shoulder looking at you in the mirror. “now, go change into the outfit i brought you.”

"where are we going, anyway?" you ask, pulling at your skirt, which was riding up as you moved. you loved olivia, but some of her dress choices made you uncomfortable. "my brother got us into the pre-release party for the band five seconds of summer," she adds, gazing down at her phone for directions to the club, a hole in the wall on broadway. "what?!" you exclaim, your eyes widening. "how did he do that?" olivia laughs and clasps her arm around yours. "well, when you have a brother who manages a band, you kinda get vip treatment," she spoke with a grin. "plus, I told him how you've been feeling down, so he talked to the guys and they said it was fine," she chuckled softly, as the two of you continued your journey to the club.

the entry to the club was immediately visible due to the brilliant pink, purple, and red lights illuminating the street, as well as record posters in the windows. "this has to be it," olivia says as she opens the door for you, walking in after.

this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you should be excited, right? but you couldn't shake the nagging guilt on the inside.

it’s okay to move on, right?

olivia leads you to the bar and orders a couple shots, "to your drop dead ex and a new beginning!" olivia cheers, toasting the glasses and the two of you downing the liquor.

you were about to start speaking when you were interrupted by olivia's brother, mark.

"it's been a long time, y/n!" he welcomes you with a shout. “how’s it going?” he asks, you see olivia roll her eyes and turn to her brother. “mark, we were having a conversation.” she states matter of a factly.

"i know, but I just wanted to introduce you to some of my buddies," the tall ginger says, stepping to the side and revealing four taller men. mark introduces them, "this is luke." he had blond curly hair, ocean blue eyes, and a white button-down shirt with the top button undone.

"michael," he said, his pink hair slicked to the side, a black snapback on, with a small wave of his hand in greeting. "ashton.” he had curly hair like luke, but it was fashioned in a 60’s greaser type of way, he smiled at you warmly, extending his hand for you to shake, the two of you nodding in acknowledgment of the other. "last- but not least, calum."

your gaze met his brown eyes, his chocolate curls resting just above his eyes as he looked you in the eyes. he was dressed in a white button-down shirt with black stripes that complemented his tanned and tattooed skin. he softly whispered "hi" as he squeezed his lips together in a smile. you smile back and nod. "hi.” calum's gaze lingers longer than he would have preferred, but he couldn't help himself. no way, not with you dressed like that. the way the black skirt clung to your hips and the dark blue halter top left nothing for the imagination

“guys this is my sister, olivia, and her friend, y/n.” mark says, pointing to the two of you, bringing calum out of his daydream. “nice to meet you guys” you say, offering a warm smile and they all nod to you. “are you staying for the show?” ashton inquired, olivia nods. “of course we are! wouldn’t miss it for a thing.” she gently nudges your arm, you laugh softly and nod.

"great, can't wait for you all to hear the album," ashton says, as the other three nod in agreement. "well, I have to get them backstage, but I'll see you later, okay?" mark replies, and you and olivia nod as the group disappears into the busy room.

as the show began, olivia tugged you closer to the stage, two rows back. the lights dimmed and you heard a huge cheer from the audience as the four boys you had just met took the stage.

your gaze was drawn to calum, who seemed engrossed with the music. how he made it appear so easy while looking so nice. you kept an eye on him for the majority of the night, but your mind was elsewhere.

you had found your way to the bar after the show had concluded; it was a terrific show, as expected, but seeing the band live was a weird experience, and you just couldn't enjoy yourself given your circumstances.

you found yourself reminiscing on your relationship during songs like "lie to me" and "why won't you love me," wondering whether you would have said something different or been more open to him. maybe you’d still be together.

you finish the drink you ordered and search the crowd for your best friend, but when you can't find her, you return your attention to the empty glass in front of you watching it being filled.

"was our stage set really that bad?" when you hear a voice, you quickly look up to find the person who is speaking. "i saw you, you seemed unhappy," calum adds, leaning on the bar. you shook your head and let out a breathless laugh. "no, it was actually very good," you say with a smile.

calum's gaze lingered, he leaned forward. "but? you were definitely not having a good time." you shrug and allow the bartender to refill your drink. "well, i got dumped not too long ago." "so", you trail off, messing with the glass in your hand.

"just not in the mood for a party, i guess," you shrug, and you hear calum hum. he switches his weight from one leg to the other. "actually, you looked pretty hot on stage," you cover your mouth and widen your eyes. "oh my goodness...i." you can't help but giggle, "i'm so sorry," you shake your head, and then gulp the last of the drink in the hopes that it will provide you with some liquid courage.

"you think I'm ‘pretty hot’?" he asks, his brow furrowed and his tongue protruding from the inside of his cheek. "no..i.." you sigh, removing some of your hair from your face. calum chuckles "no, no. you said it, you think I'm hot," he says in a teasing manner, crossing his arms with a quirked eyebrow.

calum would be lying if he said he didn’t think you were attractive as well. he had been eyeing you all night and figured, why not have some fun?

“what are you doing after this?” he asks, stepping a tad closer to you. now, he was just a few inches from your side and you caught wind of his cologne. you look down at the empty glass again, wondering what you’d say. you knew what he meant, and you had never done anything of the sort.

“well that depends” you answer, looking up from the glass and letting your eyes meet his. “well, i was kinda hoping you’d want to leave here with me” calum suggests with a smirk. you smile, figuring you could let lose for one night. “sounds great.”

it was just one night..right?

your eyelids flutter open, and you immediately feel a piercing pain in your temple. you groan silently and look about until you realize you're not in your bedroom when you peek over your shoulder, you notice a figure.

he was facing you, on his side. his curls were brushed back, his lips were slightly parted, and his arm was resting on your waist.

"oh, shit.." you think as you sit up against his headboard, drawing the loose sheet closer to your chest. your mind is filled with images from the previous night. meeting him, and then their brief talk in the bar. you rubbed your temples, still reeling from what you'd done.

you had slept with calum hood.

you had to get out of there because you couldn't believe what you'd done. you were never the type to do something like that. you attempted to remove the sheet so you could hurry up and put on your clothes from the night before and go home. however, while you were doing so, calum's arm gently tugged on your waist. "stay.."

when you looked at him, his eyes were still closed. you didn't move, feeling frozen as your gaze landed on the arm that framed your waist. you couldnt lie, calum was very attractive.

eventually, you finally managed to break free from his touch, and you threw on your clothing while searching for your phone and handbag. you discreetly opened and closed the door, making your way through the house to the front entrance.

you come to a halt as you pick up your shoes, pondering whether or not to leave your phone number for him. but you tell yourself that you'll never see him again, opening the door and walking out.

you order a lift home and finally check at your phone's alerts. olivia left almost twenty messages and made thirty phone calls. you tell her you're okay and on your way home.

you opened your front door to find olivia racing towards you. "where the hell were you?!" she exclaims, her eyes wide open. you hush her with a "shh," dropping your shoes beside the door. "i texted and called you!" "i know, i know," you remark as you pass by her to your room. "you can't just leave like that!" she exclaims as she follows you.

"olivia.." you sigh and stand in your bathroom, removing the last of your makeup from the night before. "i'm sorry okay, i was drunk and he was right there in front of me." "who?" she asks as she leans against the doorway. "calum.."

there was radio silence for a split second before you glanced to olivia, who erupted. "you slept with calum hood!?!" she exclaims, lunging for your arm. "calum hood?!? the one from five seconds of summer?" you closed your eyes, your head still throbbing, and her ranting only made matters worse. "okay, yes? i was drunk, and he came up to me for a moment...and the following thing led to another..."

"you slept with calum!!!" the ginger laughs as she claps her hands and softly jumps up and down. "oh my god!! my y/n is getting some!" you groan, throwing away the makeup wipe while moving past her. "oh, god. ew!" you exclaim as you enter your bedroom in quest of your pajamas. "tell me everything!" she says as she sits on your bed. "uh..no.." you say as you begin to change.

"just...leave it, im not going to see him again," you say as you brush your hair after changing. "what?! didn't you leave your phone number or something?" "no, olivia, it was just one night," you shake your head. i don't plan to see him again, okay?" you reinstate by placing the brush on the dresser. "ugh, you're no fun!"

"you should be happy about this, you're one step closer to moving on from your asshole ex-boyfriend!" exclaims olivia. you take a step out of your bedroom, looking over your shoulder at your ginger friend. you smile sadly, "i don't think I'll ever be able to get over him."

"we are going to be late!" olivia yells as she tugs you out of bed. "i don't want to go," you protest, but the ginger pushes you into the bathroom. "get yourself ready and meet me outside, okay?" she smiles and goes away.

you sighed as you stood in front of your mirror and went about your business. wash your face, then apply skincare, makeup, hair, and finally your clothes. this consisted of a cropped white shirt, a black skirt, and boots. for the nightlife scene, this was your typical go-to.

you grab a leather jacket and your money on your way out the door to meet with olivia. “great, you're done!" she grins and grabs your arm. "and looking as hot as ever," you sigh, "i wear this every time we go out, olivia. this isn't anything new." you explain, and the two of you start walking up to the bar. "yes, but being single looks good on you... you look happier." she beams. you shrug and continue going, laughing as you say, "whatever you say."

you two arrived at the bar, which was already quite crowded with people you knew, and said your 'hi's and 'hello's' as you walked through the crowd to reach your normal friend group. this was a birthday party for one of your mutual friends; you were invited because you knew a few people there, but you didn't intend to stay long. after only a few drinks, you were dipping.

"hey, i'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" you ask olivia, who was in the midst of a conversation. "um, no, i'm good for now," the redhead responds softly. you nod and turn around, headed for the bar.

you take a seat on a bar stool and order your usual, then pull out your phone and scroll for a few minutes as you wait for your drink.

"fancy seeing you here," you hear from behind you. when you turn around, a familiar face greets you.

calum hood.

you gaze at him for a time, blinking slowly, wondering why the hell he was at this party in the first place. how did he know your friend group?

"what? like what you see?" he laughs and walks up to the stool next to you. you discreetly giggle, rolling your eyes as you notice your drink in front of you. "you're full of yourself, calum," you say as you sip your drink. "well, you weren't thinking that when you were in my bed a few nights ago, were you?" he says, lifting his eyebrows as he speaks, attempting to elicit a reaction from you.

"oh god.." you mutter. calum follows you as you push yourself off the stool and onto the club floor. "come on, I was joking." when you hear his remarks, you shake your head and spin around to tell him off, but you freeze when you realize how close he is.

calum gazed back at you, his chocolate eyes piercing into yours. the way his wavy hair fell just above his eyes. you couldn't think straight when he was wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt that emphasized his muscles- or how nice he looked in those black plaid pants.

calum hood was fine, and he knew it.

"you're a jerk," you reply, eventually jerking out of your daydream. as he steps closer, you can smell the tequila dripping from his breath. "oh yeah?" you say, nodding, "yeah." "well, you won't be saying that when you're in my bed again."

as you stare into his eyes, your grasp on your cup tightens. you couldn't take your eyes off him.

"fuck you."

he takes pleasure in your reply and leans in, his face right up against yours, whispering, "maybe later, sweets." then calum walks away, leaving you on the dance floor.

you find yourself back with olivia and your group of friends, scarfing down the drink knowing you needed to be intoxicated for the night ahead of you.

"i saw that," she says, as the two of you sway to the music. "what?" you inquire, attempting to appear clueless. "calum hood, hitting on you!!" she rolls her eyes. she giggles and pokes at your side. "no, it was nothing," you promise, moving her arm away. "whatever you say," she sings.

while you were on the dance floor with your friends, you were pretty intoxicated, and you knew he was watching you. you tried to ignore the sense of his eyes burning holes in the back of your skull. he observed your hips swaying to the music and the way your hair layed against your skin. It was driving him crazy.

flashes of you in his bed, your skin gleaming with sweat, the softness of your lips against his, or the touch of your nails on his back that sent thrills down his spine.

normally, he would never return to someone with whom he had a one-night encounter, but he couldn't get enough of you. he hasn't stopped thinking about you since that night.

you'd had enough of his glances and decided it was time to face him.

"stop" you say as you approach him. he blinks and asks, "what?." you sigh and roll your eyes. "i know you're staring, stop it." calum laughs and sets his drink on the bar. "i don't know what you're talking about, pretty." you sigh and rub your temples. "don't act innocent, i saw you." you say. he shrugs and leans forward. "oh, I'll show you innocent"

"calum, we can't do this," you say, looking him in the eyes. “It was only once." you say, as if attempting to persuade yourself. "oh, yeah?" you cross your arms and nod. "because it seems you don't believe that." calum retorts, his hand coming to rest on your hip.

as he moves in closer, you catch the scent of his cologne combined with the booze on his breath, which sends a shudder down your spine. you see flashes of his figure hanging over you from a few nights before. you couldn't possibly lie to yourself because you think about it every day.

"i know you want me.. i see the way you look at me," he continues. "come on, let's have some fun." his thumb was tracing circles on the fabric of your skirt.

you look into his eyes, your stomach flipping. you didn't want to give in, you didn't want to become someone you weren't. but that was calum fucking hood, and you couldn't resist him when he looked at you like that. "fuck it," you state.

you gaze at the sleeping figure beside you, his breathing calm and steady. you couldn't help but feel bad, so you told yourself you wouldn't hook up with him again. you told yourself you'd never see him again. he was a celebrity, and you were just a city dweller who happened to get caught up with him.

you lie there for a moment, admiring calum. how could someone look so lovely while sleeping? you yank the covers off your legs and frantically dress to leave him yet again.

you collect your shoes at the exit, stand for a moment debating whether or not to leave your number, but you decide not to because this is the last time you'll see him…

right?

from that night forward, you felt like the universe was messing with you because calum appeared to be at every party, club, or bar you went to. he'd approach you as if nothing was going to happen, as if he was teasing you in some way- but it always happened.

those nights, you'd always end up in his bed, never yours.

you couldn't help yourself; no matter how hard you tried to pretend you despised him, you couldn't keep the mask up because you always caved and went home with him.

it became a habit; you'd go out with friends or by yourself, secretly hoping calum would appear in some way.

some nights, you weren't even there to drink, just to be there.

it was the same thing every time: you'd pretend to despise him because a small part of you wanted a serious relationship yet couldn't get enough of him. he made you feel alive. your ex never made you feel that way. the only person who ever made you feel *loved* was calum. you both knew it was only for fun, but it made you wonder if it might ever turn into anything more. you were always silently wishing you had left your phone number all those times, wondering if he would have called or texted you.

plus, you were aware that your friends, particularly olivia, were becoming suspicious. you had recovered quickly from your split following that first night with calum. she knew you’d leave with him at those gatherings but she didn’t stop it because you seemed to be doing better and you were a lot happier.

so far, calum was treating you right. at least, when the two of you were hooking up. so she never made any effort to stop what was happening.

for what felt like the hundredth time, you were back in his bed. instead of looking at him, you've turned your gaze to the ceiling. you know you should leave because it's about noon and you need to get home because you have plans with olivia later that day. you groan, running your hands over your face before getting out of bed and hunting for your clothing, all scattered along the floor.

"since you obviously don't want to stay," he spoke suddenly, causing you to pause in the middle of putting your shirt back on. calum raises up to rest on his elbows as your head spins around. "how about we just agree that this is a no-strings-attached situation," he suggested. you finish putting on your shirt and take your place at the foot of the bed. "calum.." you sigh,rubbing your eyes.

"y/n, just listen and consider it. we can keep doing what we're doing without making any commitments."

you stare at him, his hair was messy, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and you couldn't help but admire his physique. you lean down to grab your shorts, responding while you did so, "i'll think about it," before throwing on the rest of your clothes and leaving his bedroom. as you close the door behind you, you hear him sigh.

your hand was on the doorknob as you stood at the door, but you stopped yourself from opening it. you hated yourself as you reached into your bag for a pen and a random scrap of paper to jot down your phone number. you retrace your steps and leave it on his kitchen island. then you disappear from his home once again.

you unlock your apartment door and walk in, closing it behind you. you enter the kitchen, putting your bag on the counter and grabbing a water bottle.

"where have you been?" you jump out of your skin when you see olivia behind the refrigerator door. "what the hell, olivia!" you exclaim, nearly spilling the bottle. she's standing with her arms crossed with an intense stare. "did you hook up with him again?"

you move out of the kitchen and into your room, closing the fridge. "no, I don't know who you're talking about." you respond, but olivia isn't having it. "stop lying. you were with him last night and the nights before." "so?" you grumble.

"so?!", she exclaimed, you can't tell if she's really mad at you or just acting this way, she repeats. "you're having an fling with a celebrity! you have a habit of hooking up with him. surely something has to be there." she follows you to your room, standing in your doorway as she questions you.

"it's nothing, olivia. we just happen to be at the same location at the same time. okay?" you explain while looking for some clothes to change into.

"i call bullshit. you were never like this, until you met him." she continues, making you sigh. "it's just a distraction, okay?"

"I just...I don't know," you shrug, unable to express your feelings. "i'll meet you later, okay?" you turn away from her.

"actually…i have a date tonight," olivia confessed. "im sorry, but i'll have to cancel." she frowned. "that's fine," you say sympathetically over your shoulder. “have fun, and please text me when you get home, okay?" olivia nods, singing, "i will, love you hot stuff" she passes by you to leave your shared apartment.

you're sitting on your sofa with a container of leftover takeout from a few nights ago after freshening up. olivia had somehow gotten you hooked on a cringe-worthy television show.

you were already two seasons in and couldn't recall a single episode. calum had made your memory fuzzy. you couldn't get him off your mind. you remained curious about what he was doing when you left. did he think of you the way you thought of him? did he ever wonder what you did when he wasn't there? though you convinced yourself you were just being delusional.

…right?

calum glances at the scrap of paper on his kitchen counter, his fingers tapping near his phone, unsure whether to wait to message you. calum was well aware that what he was doing was probably not wise. because, after all, hooking up with you was just for fun, right? so why was it so difficult for him not to think about you? why were you so difficult for him to forget? it was just intended to be once, but now calum thinks about you whenever he gets the chance.

calum sighs, picks up his phone, and starts punching in your phone number. he has no idea what he's doing, but he doesn't stop himself from sending you a message.

- ‘hey, it’s calum’

you're standing in the kitchen right now, washing your hands, when your phone dings. your heart sunk as you looked over and said the message. you swiftly withdraw your hands from the sink, grab a towel, and dry them.

you take out your phone and read his message. You stare at it for a moment, unable to believe he actually messaged you.

-‘hey’

you respond as you stroll over to your sofa and sit on the cushions. you weren't anticipating anything from him because he'd practically established that the two of you were only in it for the fun of it and that was it. no strings attached. you don't hear from him again for the time being.

you're disappointed, but you return your focus to the television, hoping to forget about the singer on your mind.

you haven't heard from olivia in hours; she should've been home by now, but you guess she went to the guy's place she was seeing.

you get up from the sofa and grab your phone; all of your anxiety fades as you open your phone to calums' contact information and call him.

It rang several times before he answered. “hello?”

“hey, calum sorry if i’m bothering you”

“no, you’re good. what’s up?”

“i was just wondering if uh…if you’d want to hang out?”

"what do you have in mind?"

you laugh, "not like that"

you can hear him laugh in amusement, “sorry- yeah, sure. there’s actually this party tonight and i wasn’t going to go since i didn’t have anyone to go with. would you be down for that?”

you pause for a moment, picking at your fingers. “sure! that sounds great” you answer.

“nice, i’ll send you the address to ashton’s place and i’ll meet you there. see you tonight, sweets.”

you arrive at ashton's house, sitting in your car for a few minutes as you ran your options through your head. ‘was this a smart decision? were you planning to do this?’ you groan, taking your phone, and bag then exiting the car, heels clicking as you approached the entrance.

when you opened the door, you were greeted by the smell of alcohol and loud music. you stroll past the crowd near the entryway and start looking for the person you came here to see.

you notice him in the kitchen with his bandmates, he noticed you as well. with a tiny smile on his lips, he motions you over to the group.

"hey," you speak softly now that you're standing close to him. "hi," he greets, unconsciously placing his hand on the small of your back. "guys, i'm not sure if you remember, but this is y/n," he reminds before re-introducing you to the rest of the band.

"are you mark's sister's friend?" michael interjects, you nod. "yeah! i was the one in the blue top that night," you smile, everyone nods in acknowledgment. "well, i'm glad you could make it, if you need anything just let me know." "thank you," you nod nervously, then glance up to calum.

he offers to take you around and introduce you to some people to make you feel more at ease.

"i'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?" you make the offer to calum, who is seated on the sofa, he responds with a simple, "sure." you nod, heading to the kitchen by yourself, leaving calum with his buddies.

"how long have you two been together?" someone seated next to calum asked, he turns to see it was ashton's girlfriend. "oh, no- we aren't together." he responds, but her reply is unexpected. "are you serious?" she asks, calum nods. "no way," she whispered, astonished as she takes a sip from the crimson solo cup. "what?" calum questions.

"there's no way you two aren't together," she says again, "the way you look at her. i'm not sure what the two of you are up to, but you should figure it out," she concludes, chuckling. calum simply stares at her, her attention drawing elsewhere.

he thought about what she said the entire time you were gone. did he actually act that way? did he treat you as though you were his girlfriend? did he look at you in a way that suggested you two were dating? no… you two were just hooking up. nothing else.

he had no idea you were back until you spoke up. "here.." you offer, handing him the drink. calum looks up takes the drink you offered, "thank you sweetheart" "anytime, sugar" you chuckle and go for a seat, but all of them are taken… okay, so you would just stand up for the time being. when calum notices this, he reaches for your waist and pulls you down onto his lap. you look down at him, confused, “what are you doing?” he looks up at you with those eyes.

those big brown eyes that made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. calum looked at you like you were the only girl in the universe.

at least, that’s what you told yourself.

“i’m not just gonna let you stand there.” he answered with a cheeky smile.

people started to leave after a few hours. you were still sitting on calum's lap as everyone else congregated in the living room, talking about whatever and playing drinking games.

you get up from the calum's lap, leaving your drink behind to walk to the restroom down the hall. you approach and knock, hearing someone in there. you stand a few steps away from the door and pull out your phone to pass the time.

after a few minutes, calum finds you. leaning his arms against the wall, effectively caging you between his arms as he stands in front of you. "whatcha doing?" he demands, boxing you in and staring at you. "I'm waiting for the bathroom," you say, glancing up at him.

"you know..." calum pauses, coming in closer. "my house isn't too far from here, and i have a bathroom..so..you can just use it there," you sneer at his offer, "how convenient.." you respond, just above a whisper.

you push yourself off the wall and past calum, leaving him speechless. "where are you going?" he asks, his arms at his sides. "your place. you coming or not?" you grin as you peer over your shoulder.

calum chuckles quietly as he approaches you and wraps his arm around your waist. he was nearly dragging you to the door. "sorry guys, we have to run!" he grabs your bag, carrying it for you before dashing out the door with you.

the others could only chuckle to themselves and smile knowingly as the two of you dashed away.

you're back in his bed, and you know it before you open your eyes. the smell of his bedsheets let you know you were back. the warm vanilla smell invaded your nostrils as you stretched and opened your eyes to find yourself staring at a familiar ceiling. you check over your shoulder for calum's sleeping figure, but he's not there.

you carefully sit up, bringing the sheet along to cover your chest and rubbing your eyes with your other hand. only then do you spew calum standing at the doorway wearing only basketball shorts. "good morning, princess," he says, and you groan, feeling a headache coming on. "i'm making breakfast if you want to stay," he says before walking out the door. you sigh as you get out of his bed and seek for your clothes before leaving his room for the kitchen.

you notice pancakes and fruit on a plate waiting for you. as he stands and consumes his food, you take a seat at the kitchen island. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks up.

"so i was thinking.." calum begins. you raise your head to look at him. "i know we said no strings attached but what if we expand the deal?" you lift your brows, confused as to what he was on about. "what do you mean?" you inquire. "at parties, we could be each other's automatic plus one. that way, we won't have to worry about who we go home with." you look up at him, then down at your plate, shifting some of the food about.

"i don't know, calum." you let out a sigh. you want to say yes, and you want to be around him at all times- but you just can’t confess it. "i'm just tired of being ditched by the guys at events, and i wouldn't mind if you were the one to fill that spot," you gaze up, your eyes meeting his. "okay...i'm down," you nod, and calum smiles. "great."

you continue eating as silence fills the room, you don’t really know how to keep a conversation with him since you two only hung out at parties. “when’s your birthday?” he asks. you chuckle, “what happened to no strings attached?” you ask, taking a drink of your water. “well, we can be friends with benefits. friends can know things about each other” he rebuttals. you look at him, finally caving. “y/bd” you answer, calum nods. “that’s coming up” you shrug, “its a couple months. what about you?”

“january 25th” he answers. “happy belated birthday” you reply and he laughs. “so you do have a heart.” you rolls your eyes, “oh whatever.” you can’t help but crack a smile.

calum admires you, how you still manage to look beautiful even in the makeup from the night prior and your hair is a mess. calum wants to be your friend, he wants to know stuff about you other than how you are in bed. he looks down at his plate, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking of you as anything for than his fuck buddy.

“what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”

you think for a moment, your free hand is now supporting the weight of your chin. “hmm..i’ve always wanted like a big birthday bash.” you answer, “but i just never had the opportunity or people to go with” you add. he nodded, making a mental note.

———

calum proceeds to ask you out every other night, claiming that he doesn't want to be alone. of course, you went, but it simply muddled your sentiments for him. because he made it apparent that you were just friends.

so what was it about him holding your hand at parties that got you so worked up? or when he'd hold your back as you walked through a crowd of people. you'd have to convince yourself to stop staring at him for so long before anyone noticed.

you opted to see someone else on the side in the hopes of sorting out your feelings because the only reason you had feelings for calum was because he was the only person you had been seeing this much, right? furthermore, calum had made it obvious that there were no strings attached.

"hello?" you answer the phone as you go inside your apartment after getting home from work. "hey! "I'm sorry if i'm bothering you," calum says over the phone. "no, i just got home from work. you're fine!”

“how are you?" you ask, placing your keys on the table.

"i was just wondering if you're free tonight?" he inquires. you sigh and open your refrigerator to see if you have any snacks. "um, actually i was going out with a friend tonight…" you speak, and on the other end you hear him sigh, "okay! if your plans fall through, let me know." you smile to yourself, "of course," and it gets silent for a bit as the two of you are at a loss for words, "well, i'll let you get ready then..." "alright...bye..." you say as you pull the phone away from your ear and finish the call.

calum sighs as he tosses his phone to the opposite end of the sofa and rests his head back. he knows that he should not be disappointed; you have your own life, and calum was only a little part of it, just as he had his own life but knowing he wouldn't be able to see you tonight hurt. so, instead of moping about, he decided to ask his bandmates if they wanted to hang out for the night.

however, the night was uneventful; luke had met a girl, michael was conversing with someone, and calum was left alone with ashton.

"isn't that the girl you're seeing?" ashton says unexpectedly, motioning towards you at the bar. calum looks over his shoulder and sees you talking with a guy.

calum is hurt, but he turns around and shrugs as he faces ashton. "we're not seeing each other, i don't like her like that," ashton chuckles as he sips his drink, "sure you don't," calum moans, "mate, cmon.."

“you’re lying to yourself, mate. maybe you don't say you like her, but your eyes say everything." ashton spoke, calum knew it was true. he did like you, but he was unsure if you even considered him more than someone just to hook up with. you had been giving him mixed signals, because one night you were all about him but the next day you wanted nothing to do with him.

calum peers over his shoulder once more, this time observing that the guy that was now touching you, his hand on your leg, inching higher and higher. calum considers ashton's words and walks away from the table he was at towards you.

the way he felt was enough confirmation for his feelings for you. he wanted to be more than just a friend you sleep with. he wants to the be the person you come to during your darkest times, he wants to know your favorite songs, he wants to know your favorite movies, food, candy, animal, he wants to be your person.

“so when were you going to introduce me to your friend?” your head whips around to find calum standing behind the bar stool you sat at. “calum?” you blink before turning back to your date who had now removed his hand from your thigh. “you know him?” the man questions, eyeing calum.

“uh…he’s just my-“ calum cuts you off, “boyfriend” he finishes for you. your eyes go wide looking at calum again, you were about to open your mouth but calum beat you to it. “and we should be heading back now” he reaches for your waist, grabbing your purse and escorting you out of the bar.

"what the hell!?" you yell outside the bar, shoving him away from you. "you can't do that, calum! we're not exclusive, we are not dating; we're just friends who occasionally hook up" you hear calum chuckle and it sends you over the edge.

you huff and begin to walk away, but calum follows you and drapes his arm over your shoulder.

"youre mine and i don't share"

"where are you taking me?" calum walks next to you, instinctively leading you to his car. "home," he says, unlocking his car door and allowing you to enter before closing it and walking to the driver's side.

within a few minutes, you realize he's heading in the opposite way. "calum this isn't the way to to my place" you're saying. "I know," he replies, looking over at you. "i never said which home"

‘get ready, im coming over’

calum takes out his phone. he thinks nothing of the message you just sent him, presuming you're coming over to visit him. however, when you came and kept honking the car horn for him to come outside he was a bit thrown off.

when calum walks outside, he puts his phone and wallet in his pocket while walking over to your car. as you roll down your window, he leans in. "get in, we're going shopping," you say, music still playing and a smile on your face.

"why exactly do you need me for this?" calum inquires, his brow furrowed. you reply, "well considering you'll be the one taking it off i figured you might want to help me pick out something" while grinning. despite his flushed cheeks, calum takes a step back, unlocks the car door, and hops inside.

you took calum to the mall and modeled for nearly two hours while looking for the right outfit for your birthday. it had been two hours of no success until one of the last stores you visited had this leather skirt you had been eyeing for a while.

calum couldn't take his eyes off of your body when you emerged from the dressing room. both the halter top you chose and the skirt perfectly complemented one other. you drawled, "sooo?" hoping for a positive response. he answers right away, "yes." when you looked down at yourself, he speaks up again. “that’s the one, you have to get it.” and you couldn't help but laugh. you nod and examine yourself in the mirror before returning to the dressing room to change into your clothing so you could check out.

you happen to pass a leather jacket on your way to the register. and it just so happens to go well with the skirt. additionally, you observe that calum is examining it longer than anything else you have so added in the store. you made the choice to pick it up, do your best to estimate his size, and continue moving forward to pay.

on the way back to your place you pick up takeout since it was getting late in the evening and you both were starving.

when the two of your arrive home, you get comfortable on the sofa and begin picking out a movie while calum is in the kitchen sorting out the food before bringing it all into the living room. you picked out a movie and the two of you eat in peace, enjoying each others company.

afterwards, you had started cleaning up all the empty containers and throwing it away with the help of calum.

“will you put the skirt on again? i forgot what it looks like” calums asks and you laughed, looking over your shoulder. “seriously?” he nods. you pause for a moment before rolling your eyes and sigh, “fine.”

you walk out of your bedroom in the skirt but you hid something behind your back, looking a bit shy. which was unusual because you never acted like this around calum, so he knew something was up. “y/n, what’s behind your back?” he asks in a teasing tone and you begin walking towards him slowly. “okay, so, don’t be mad but i may have picked you up something too..”

she grins bringing the jacket from behind her and handing it towards him.

“i—y/n/n please tell me you didn’t buy this leather jacket for me” you take a few steps forward. “i’ve never heard you say please before. this is new.” you say, smirking. calums rolls his eyes but he can’t help but smile and you continue, “but yes i did. i saw you eyeing it so i grabbed it”

he tries to hide his smile. “well go on, put it on” you help him into the jacket and it’s then when he notices. “did you get this so we could match?” he says laughing. “no i absolutely did not! i just wanted to do something nice for you” he quickly responds “you didn’t have to go through the trouble of getting more clothes sweetheart. taking some off would’ve had the same effect” he chuckles. you playfully hit his chest and say “you’re insufferable.” you look away but then looks back smiling.

“but yeah maybe i wanted us to match a little bit. sue me” he grabs your waist and pulls your closer, you feel his thumb drawing circles on your exposed skin and it sends shivers down your spine. “well i certainly appreciate the thought, sweets. now we just need an occasion to show up everyone” calum teases, leaning in. his lips only inches from yours, you feel your cheeks warm up. “calum..” you warn but he continues to close the space between the two of you. “it’s just one kiss..”

you hate your birthday, it was the one day of the year you always found yourself to be the most miserable despite having people who loved you around. you still felt so unhappy.

“y/n, are you ready? you can’t be late to your own party!” olivia calls out from the living room. you exit your bedroom, meeting her in the room. “i’m ready, im ready” you say, throwing your bag on your shoulder. “y/n..” you hear olivia sigh, she takes a few steps towards you and puts her hands on your shoulder.

“lighten up. i know you hate your birthday but this year im not

letting you be miserable. kay?” she gently shakes you enough for you to crack a smile and nod, “good” she says, linking her arm with yours.

“now let’s go before people think you bailed your own birthday party.”

the two of you arrive to the same club where you had first met calum yet this time, the atmosphere was different.

no purple, pink, or red lights. no promotional posters in the windows. instead, you see white paper decorations and warm fairy lights.

you enter the bar in front of olivia and hear a loud uproar of people cheering as you did and some people even popping confetti. you couldn’t help but laugh as you walked through the crowd, seeing all of your close friends standing around celebrating you.

olivia was also giddy, knowing she had planned this whole thing along with calum.

“you guys didn’t have to do this!” you said over the music after you saw the cake sitting in the middle of the room, you’re beaming with joy. for the first time in a long time you were excited to be celebrating your birthday.

you spent time greeting people and thanking them.

some of these people you haven’t seen in years and it made you feel like things were finally getting better.

just as you were about to catch up with some old friends, the lights dimmed and you heard some light strumming from the nearby stage.

you look over seeing four familiar figures underneath the red stage lights.

“hello everyone,” luke begins, adjusting the mic. “if you all don’t know, we are five seconds of summer” the crowd roars at the name drop and some people are playfully hitting your shoulder not knowing your tied with the band.

“we just wanted to say we are truly honored to be back at the place we showcased our recent album, and of course to celebrate the birthday girls special day.” .

“so, happy birthday, y/n. we hope you have a wonderful year.” luke beamed.

the set was at least forty-five minutes long, they had played mostly their new stuff off the youngblood album but dropped in a few older songs.

you were over the moon.

to say you had five seconds of summer perform at your birthday party? that’s huge.

you never thought you’d end up in this position.

to say you had personal connections to people as big as calum, or even the whole band for that matter.

tonight was a night you’d definitely never forget.

standing outside the club, you watch the people inside dance and get lost in each other. the whole scene was almost melancholy- the way everyone was there to celebrate you. the night was near ending and you felt so cramped in there, you thought you'd spend the last few hours of your birthday catching your breath.

"hey you" calum voice interrupts your thoughts, a cigarette between his fingers as he watches you from a close enough distance. you furrow your brows, "didn't know you smoked"

he quickly flicks it to the floor, stepping on it a few times before picking up the trash.

"Is it a turn off?"

"no no i just didn't know" you shrug and look back up at the sky, "i don't think i know anything about you aside from you're good in bed and you like whiskey" he chuckles now, stepping closer to you and placing his hands on your waist.

"well, ask me anything you want"

you watch as he looks away for a moment, searching for the perfect question.

"if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"

your eyes don't leave the sky as you think, long and hard about the question. "i’d love to see paris... it's been my dream since i was a child."

you could feel his hands loosen from your waist, he steps infront of you and stared down at your face with a smile. It's almost like he's thinking of what to do or what to say next.

“paris?” he repeats.

you nod, tilting your head to the side, studying him. "what about you?"

calum had now completely removed his arm from your waist as he leans down to rest his elbows on the metal railing.

“considering i’ve toured around the world, ive been to plenty of amazing places” he says, looking back to see if you were looking at him.

“i don’t have just one, too many places, not enough time to explore” he answered.

you nod, looking away towards the city. the nightlife in downtown los angeles was a lot lively than normal.

probably because your birthday fell on a friday this year, so all of the bars were jam packed and faint music flooded the streets.

you inhale, about to say something as your turn your attention back towards the brunette.

“y/n! cmon!” olivia grabs your wrist pulling you inside and away from calum, towards the large cake so you could blow out the candles.

“come on birthday girl, make a wish!” olivia cheers along with everyone standing around. you laugh, “okay okay!”. you blow out the candles and everyone begins to cheer. olivia hugs your side and giggles, “what did you wish for?” she asks. you grin petting her head, “if i tell you it won’t come true, will it?” your eyes flicker between calum and olivia as you speak.

you hear olivia groan in annoyance. someone amongst the crowd, you guess ashton, you could recognize that arm anywhere, points to the cake and says, "birthday girl gets first pick!"

you finally see his figure merge from behind someone with a plastic plate and knife. "what piece does my girl want?" ashton continues.

you examine the cake once more and point to a corner piece smothered in the purple icing with a kiddish like grin on your face. ashton's nods and begins to cut you a piece.

as it nears the end of the night and the bar slowly begins to empty out, you've found yourself at the bar watching everyone says their goodbye and share a hug with you before leaving the building.

the music was faintly playing now, compared to when you had arrived eariler.

solo cups trashed the floor, paper plates and napkins scattered the bar table. you look down at the glass setting in front of you as you swirl around the liquid contents. you didn’t even notice calum approaching.

“how was your birthday?” he hums, sitting next to you.

“good” you smile, resting your head on your hand. “tonight was good. you did great on stage.”

“yeah?” calum raises his eyebrows, you see a playful smirk forming on his lips. “mhm, very rockstar.”

calum laughs at your comment and then the two of you fall silent, watching as some people begin cleaning up the mess.

“can i talk to you?” calum questions, turning his focus back to you.

you nod, “yeah, of course”

“in private.” he adds.

you raise your eyebrows , wondering what he needs to say that he can’t in front of your friends.

“sure”

calum takes your hand and leads you towards the back door, which you had no idea was back here.

when he opens it, you see a patio with a string of fairy lights surrounding the area.

“you’re going to think i was stalking you or something, but this just happened by chance. i swear.” calum stands you in front of him as he reaches in his back pocket and hands you a plane ticket.

“we’ll be in paris on the first leg of our tour and i had an extra ticket.” he stated. you look up at him wide eyed, then do a double take to make sure you were seeing it right. “calum..what? i…i just i can’t just-“

“i want you there.” he adds.

“i want you in paris with me, hell- i want you on the whole tour with me. please, take it” he offers it to you again, making you take it.

“oh my god” you mutter, looking down at the ticket now in your hand.

“the flight is in two days, i know it’s hella last minute but i figured its now or never” calum speaks softly.

you’re still at a loss for words, your body working faster than your mind as your wrap your arms around calums figure. “thank you so much” you say into his shoulder.

“anytime” he hums, hugging you back.

“cmon cal! we gotta head back.” michael can be heard from the bar.

the australian pulls away and offers a warm smile, “see you in paris..” he says and walks off. “bye..”

you’re quick to whip your phone out and text olivia before heading back to your apartment partment

“youll never believe what just happened”

“is this a good or bad thing”

“uhh good? i think? i hope so”

“well dont leave me in the dark what happened”

“calum gave me a ticket to paris” “WHAT, Y/N THATS HUGE. are you gonna go”

“i mean, id feel bad if i didnt. i hate how easy it is for me to like him.”

“we’re so having a debriefing when you get home.”

the plane ride was long and tiresome, eleven hours of being so uncomfortable in the seats and having someone next to you who had no regard for personal space. plus, you just hated planes in general.

but once the plane landed, you felt a wave of relief and soon enough you were off the plane and navigating your way through the foreign airport.

once you get to baggage claim you wait for your luggage and once you have it, you begin looking around for a familiar person.

you round a corner and finally see the one you had been searching for. “there’s my pretty girl” calum says, as his eyes lands on you as he makes his way towards you.

“i look awful calum” you laugh as his arms wrap around you tightly. “no such thing” he says into your hair before pulling away. “how was the flight?” he adds, taking your luggage from your hand then linking his free hand with yours while leading you out of the airport.

“long” you laugh tiredly, as you watch him load your bags into the back of the car.

the uber back to the hotel that calum was staying at was nice, being able to see nice scenery before you’d sleep for the next twelve hours.

the plan was, you’d sleep for as long as you could until calums show tomorrow, then hopefully, you’d be well rested and enjoy his concert and have a few days in the city to spend with him.

still only as friends..right?

while you start unpacking, calum was helping. “when are you going to sleep?” he asks, taking your now empty suitcase and putting it next to his as you were folding and putting the clothes in the dresser. “probably when i get done here.” you say closing the drawer to the dresser.

“no, you’re not” calum says, causing you to stop and turn to him. “what?” you blurt, harsher than you wanted. “what do you mean ‘no’”.

“i mean no because i’m taking you out tonight.” “calum” you try to interject but he doesn’t let you. “were going out tonight, no ands, ifs,or buts. kay?” he says, walking towards you. “and be sure to wear that skirt, you look good in it.” he whispers into your ear.

“what skirt?” you ask, trying to act oblivious.

calum scoffs a little, “you know the one.”

you finish swiping the last bit of mascara onto your lashes and close the tube, then check yourself in the mirror once more wanting to make sure you outfit was good enough.

“you done?” you hear calum voice ring the hotel room into the bathroom. “yeah!” you yell back and grab your lipstick, touching up your lips before throwing it and a gloss in your bag and exit the bathroom .

“you look great” calum grins, walking towards you. his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. you grin, taking notice just how good he looks in leather jacket. “so do you, mr.rockstar.” “yeah?” he smiles, you nod. “yeah. you ready?” you ask. “yep let me get my wallet”

the night was nearing an end, you walked down the street next to calum, luke and sierra followed behind the two of you. calum had taken you all over the city, to nice cafes, his favorite spots from the last time he visited, and a museum. it was truly a wonderful day in the city of love.

the four of your turn a corner and suddenly you’re shocked by the bright dazzling lights of the eiffel tower.

you’re starstruck, you must’ve stopped in your tracks became calum looks back at you, “you comin’?” he grins, holding out his hand for you to take.

you felt like a kid in a candy store as you approached the structure. it felt like something out of a dream. you weren’t sure why you loved the idea of being in paris, but you were here now. standing in front of the famous landmark in the world, it was so beautiful you could cry.

“wow..” you speak breathlessly. the twinkling lights reflected in your eyes, the way it stood out against the dark sky, it felt like the most magical thing you had ever seen.

you’re quick to take your phone out and snap a couple pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. it would be something you would talk about forever.

“hey y/n-“ sierra taps your shoulder. your spin around and face the girl, “mm?”

“care to take a pic of me and luke?”

“sure!” you take the phone from sierra as the couple poses in front of the sight. ��i’ll take a couple so pose however you want” you smile and begin snapping pictures of the two.

luke and sierra were a good couple, they complimented each other very well. and from what you’ve seen of sierra she was a good friend and good girlfriend to luke.

“check those, make sure you like them” you hand the phone back to sierra so she can check them.

“perfect! thank you so much!” sierra beams looking at the photos then up at you.

“do you want some with calum?” she asks.

you look over at calum who was already looking at you. “um, sure!” you hand your phone to sierra.

you and calum stand next to each other and let sierra snap a couple pictures together. luke is standing behind sierra watching as she makes sure to get all the angles.

“beautiful!” she exclaims with a wide grin as she hands your phone back to you so you could check the pictures.

you swipe through the pictures awhile calum looks over your shoulder.

“god damn” the australian begins, “we look good together.”

and it was true. you did look good together. maybe you could picture being with him more than his ‘friend’.

your eyes flutter open to the soft rays of the sun peeking in through the sheer white curtains of the hotel room. “morning, pretty” you hear calum say causing you to look over your shoulder where he sat on the opposite side of the bed.

you groan quietly, rubbing your eyes as you slowly sit up to lean against the headboard. “mornin” you reply followed by a yawn. “what time is it?” “noon” calum answers, turning off his phone. “damn” you reply knowing you’ve slept almost a whole day. “sorry” you say but calum shakes his head, “don’t apologize, you needed the rest. plus, you’ll be well rested for tonight” he grins, you shake your head and playfully push his shoulder.

“what’s on the agenda for today?” you yawn again, and calum leans back on the headboard. “well, we have to be at the venue at two and soundcheck is at three”. he says, checking his phone for the time.

“good, gives me plenty of time to get ready” you say, reaching for your phone. “do you want to leave with me or do you wanna just come whenever you’re done?” you shrug thinking about how long it’ll take you to get ready. “i might just uber after i’m done that way i don’t have to rush.” you start, ripping the cover off of your legs. “plus it’ll give me enough time to make sure i look good for you tonight.” you say with a grin before getting out of the bed and making your way to the bathroom.

calum laughs before calling out to you “you’re a tease, you know that?” you smile to yourself using water for your shower. “always!” you holler back.

you’re sat in the back of an uber staring out the back passenger window. the venue isn’t very far from the hotel so the ride wasn’t too bad. when you arrived you saw the line of fans outside all waiting in queue you smiled to yourself, feeling proud of the band, and calum.

you step out of the vehicle and walked around like a lost puppy trying to look for olivia’s brother, mark.

you take the time to see everyone waiting in line dressed in their best and looking beautiful.

“oh thank god” you start, spotting the blonde man. “y/n! you made it!” mark smiles, pulling you in for a hug.

“yeah, thank god, i almost got lost.” mark nods and begins leading you down a long corridor until reaching the dressing rooms. “i figured you’re here for calum?” you look up, staring at him for a moment before blinking. “that obvious huh?” mark laughs, then hands you a vip laminated lanyard. “keep this on you, have fun and enjoy the show.” he adds as he pats your shoulder.

you watch as he walks away, taking a deep breath as you open the door peeking your head in. you see the guys spread out in the room until calum looks up from his phone to greet you.

“its about time you got here, i was about to worry.” he says, now pulling you into their dressing room. his tan arms wrap around your figure and you get a whiff of his cologne.

he keeps you close to your side as the other guys come up to greet you. “was it hard to find?” calum inquires, you shrug, “i walked around the building until i eventually found mark and now im here” you laugh. “probably a little late, traffic was crazy”

calum smiles, “all good, at least you’re here now. that’s all that matters.” he says, slinging his arm over your shoulders.

“all right guys, they’re all ready for you” some stage manager, you had to guess, said as they popped their head in the door.

you separate from calum as he fixed his in-ear-piece and grabs his bass. you smile at him and give him a thumbs up and watch as he followed behind the other three.

“are you sierra and y/n?” and woman enters the room, her dirty blonde hair was cut to about her shoulders but it was obviously growing out. she had a welcoming smile and comforting aura. the two of you nod. “perfect, i’m hannah i can take you guys to your seats!” she beams and then the two of you follow her out into the arena where she showed where the two of you would be at.

side of the pit, calums side, so it was actually perfect for you. “are you guys going to be on the rest of the tour?”

“i will” sierra smiles. then hannah turns towards you.

“oh, i don’t know yet” you laugh, taking a swig of your drink.

“well, i’ll be on the tour with the guys so if you every need anything just look for me.” she smiles again. “enjoy the show!”

it was incredible to see, they were truly in their element. each of the acting as if they were born to be on stage.

“wow!” michael hollers about midway through their performance, taking a small break in between songs. luke is still strumming quietly in the background. “paris, how the fuck are we feeling?!” the crowd erupts in loud cheers.

“it’s great to be back after so long” he continues, then takes a glance at his band mates. “how are you all liking paris?”

“good, i love it here” luke answers, earning a few hollers from the crowd.

“how you liking paris, cal?”

“what about the view here? it’s such a beautiful place” luke interjects.

“you seen anything nice lately, calum?” luke continues

“yup, the views in my hotel room are amazing.”

your heart stopped, it was subtle. just enough for only you to notice. he was definitely mentioning you.

“do you mean from?” luke chimes.

you can faintly see calum smile as he laughs into the mic, “yup, my bad.”

“alrighty then.” michael pauses, luke had taken a few steps back from the mic but could still be been laughing.

“then how about you introduce the next song?”

“the next song is for all those who end up meeting someone and know it won’t be more than just having fun. and they’re okay with that. talk fast.”

you wondered what it looked like from their perspective. you turn to face the crowd and you’re overwhelmed with what you see. people screaming their lungs out to the lyrics, some dancing with their friends, you even see some people crying. you also see some signs. some more creative than others, and some sweeter than others.

you manage to spot one that made you a little uncomfortable; “call me red with the way i be riding hood”

sure, clever, but it made you realize that if you had a shot with calum, what’s stopping him from hooking up with any other fan when you’re not around?

shit.

maybe you did like him more than just a fuck buddy.

during the next intermission you and sierra had made some small talk until you overheard some girls next to you in the pit talking about calum.

“oh i’d totally fuck him.” she says nonchalantly. “i bet you i could easily pull him by the end of the night, i just need to find my way in.” she giggles.

you shift on your feet and turn to sierra who also heard it. “welcome to my life..” she raises her eyebrows then take a sip of her drink.

you sit in silence on the uber ride back to the hotel. calum sat to your right, you knew he was looking at you and he wanted to ask what was wrong.

did you have a bad night?

was the show bad?

the whole way back to the hotel you hadn’t spoken one word to him. you didn’t even look at him.

why did you feel like this?

calum wasn’t even yours. you had no valid reason to be angry.

except you did.

you were afraid that he would want someone else, that you were easily replaceable. you couldn’t deal with that, you couldn’t go through another heartbreak.

you should’ve known that messing with him would’ve lead to this, but you were naïve and wanted something to distract you from your ex boyfriend.

your feet seem to have a mind of their own as you storm past calum and out into the freezing cold.

"y/n/n, cmon don't be this way", he laughs innocently while pacing himself behind you.

you don’t say anything except press the elevator button and wait impatiently for the doors to open. you really couldn’t tell anyone why you were being so stubborn, hell, you didn’t even know why.

once the doors opened you were quick to slip in and press the button to your floor. you stand with your arms crossed, staring blankly at the metal. doors. you were quietly wishing he would say something, anything at all.

“y/n?” he tries reaching for your arm but you shrug him off. “not in the mood cal.” you reply. you knew you were being stubborn and very annoying.

he hasn’t given you a reason to act this way towards him.

you knew you were overreacting. plain and simple.

*ding*

the elevator doors opened and you walk through the hallway towards your bedroom. you scan the keycard and open the door letting calum follow behind you like a lost puppy.

you throw your purse on the bed and take your jacket off. “y/n. please.” you hear him sigh. calum feels guilty and he doesn’t even know what the hell he did. but whatever it was he was going to fix it. he couldn’t take you being mad at him like that.

“why dont you go bother someone else, looked like there was plenty that would love to be in your bed” you hiss, the words spilling from your lips like venom.

calum stops in his tracks, also removing the leather jacket from his shoulders and tossing it on the bed. “what?” he asks, dumbfounded.

“don’t play dumb, cal.”

“i don’t know what you mean, y/n.” he bites back.

“i mean, if you can sleep around with me what’s stopping you from sleeping with your fans?” you confess.

calum just stares at you, “what? what are you talking about?” the bassist was genuinely confused, you had never reacted, at least, not when he was around.

“the people at the show, cal. the signs, their outfits, the way they talk about you-“

calum cuts you off, “look, i don’t know where this is coming from or why you’re acting like this but-“

“i’m acting like this because it was never just about being friends with benefits calum!” you confess, staring at him intently. “i can’t keep acting like im okay with not being able to love you. i don’t want to be hurt again. not by you”

everything came spewing out of you like a waterfall. all the months of pent up frustration and confusion had finally found its way into the world.

you were so frustrated you didn’t even realize what you had said, you turn to look out the window and stare at the lights from the city.

calum doesn’t say anything, racking his brain to make sure he heard you right. you said you loved him, without really even saying the three words.

“you said you love me.”

you look over at him, “what?”

“you just said you ‘can’t keep acting like you don’t love me’.” he repeats.

you shake your head and look away from him. “i didn’t.” you try to get him to leave it alone.

“you did” he sighs, coming next to you and takes you by the shoulders and turns you to face him. “you practically said you love me.”

“calum-“

“i love you too.” he smiled. “i don’t know if that means anything now but i do. i have for a while.” he confessed.

“y/n, you’re nothing like i imagined you would be. when i met you that night in the bar i thought you’d be like all the other girls, which i know doesn’t help, but; this has been the best past year of my life and i think of you more than someone i fuck occasionally.” calum is looking into your eyes. “you’re more than that, y/n/n.”

there are tears welling in your eyes, you shake your head. “i don’t want to be hurt again. i don’t think i could take it.” calum nods, reaching for your hands.

“i understand, but trust me when i say that id never do anything to hurt you, okay?” calum assures, “you’re everything and more.”

*buzz*

*buzz buzz*

you groan and reach for your phone, opening one eye to look at the notifications. you have over ten messages and five calls from olivia. you sigh, wanting to ignore her antics but maybe it was an emergency. you unlock your phone and see all the messages.

‘girl check instagram.’

‘what time is it there’s

‘are you asleep?’

‘omg omg y/n!!!!’

‘you’re not gonna believe this.’

‘girl i’m freaking out !!!!!’

‘y/n please check your instagram.

‘you’re gonna flip.’

‘ please wake up.’

‘i’m calling you’

you sit up in confusion and then check your other notifications to see over hundreds of notifications from instagram. “what the hell” you croak and then open the app.

‘calumhood tagged you in a post.’

you swipe through the pictures until you see the very last picture which was you standing in front of the eiffel tower with your back turned to him admiring the view and then you saw the caption; “they say paris is the city of love <3”

you practically shoot up from your position staring wide eyed at the phone. you read some of the comments in a panic.

‘lukehemmings: it’s about damn time’

ashtonirwin: finally! don’t hurt my girl;)

calumhood replying to ashtonirwin: your girl?

ashtonirwin replying to calumhood: yep:)

michaelclifford: called it!

sierradeaton: you posted the pic !! omg !!!

5sos_updates: the last slide omg!?!? also last night was crazy!

iheartcalumhood: who’s the girl?

“calum??” you say out, hoping he was still in the room.

you hear the bathroom door open. “yeah?” he asks walking around the corner only dressed in a pair of basketball shorts.

“why did you post that?” you ask showing him the instagram post. “i wanted to prove to you that everything i said last night is true”

you blink, staring at him with little to no expression. “your first thought to do that was post me on your instagram?”

“uhh i guess? should i not have done that?” you crack a smile and look down at your phone, “i cant believe you, cal.” you say, falling back on the bed to scroll through more comments.

“can’t go back on it now” he says, standing at the foot at the bed.

“you’re stuck with me forever” he says crawling on the bed, hovering over your figure. “really? because ashton said i was his girl. sounds like you have some competition, hood.” you state, showing calum his comment.

he takes your phone and tosses it somewhere else on the bed. “nope, you’re my girl forever and always.” he hums leaning in to leave kisses on your neck which earned giggles from you. “calum!”

[sunshine-daisies-library]

emergency contact | calum hood x fem!reader

FUCK this took so long and took so many twists and turns but i have finished lads

summary: you end up in the hospital after an accident, only to find that your emergency contact number hadn’t been updated. you are yet to find out if it’s a blessing or a curse. 

word count: 8.9k

warnings: self doubt, talking down about oneself, she/her pronoun usage, swearing, breakups, angst, drinking, car accident, hospital mentions, injury mentions, mentions of weed, partying, fighting

author's note: it might be rushed at the end and there's no set timeline of events, so it might not align with the true events IRL.

i also would like to say that we support girls here! no hate toward anyone, girls support girls!

In defense of yourself, you hadn’t expected to be back in Los Angeles so soon. Nor had you anticipated an accident like this to update your contacts on your phone. It was on the back of your mind, yes, but you had intended to change your emergency contact list on your phone for events like these. It was something you’d remind yourself occasionally, only to push it off for the next day, then the next day, then forget about it altogether. 

And perhaps you were too cowardly to change the list. You didn’t admit this to another soul since it had been nearly a year since the two of you broke things off. Your friends time and time again had persuaded you to put yourself back on the market, to get over the musician. But how could you? You had dedicated the best years of your life to him, nearly six of them. You thought you were going to marry the man, but life had other plans. 

That being said, you still loved him. The small act of removing him off your emergency contacts list felt so final to you. Like that was the end of your sad little love story with him. Truth be told, it was the end. It was the end from the moment you broke things off with him. You were just too stubborn to admit that to yourself. 

It was your doing, wasn’t it? You were the one to tell him it was over. He had just gotten back home from their tour and went to greet you with open arms. You had been wretched enough to deny him that, pulling away immediately. You ignored his eyes when you told him you were tired of your lifestyle. Of waiting on him like a dog for him to come back from tour. Of relishing that one month of being together like it was the last thing on earth, only for him to leave once again for tours or writing retreats. 

And most of all, you were tired of not feeling enough for him. In the world of popular and beautiful stars, why did he stay with you? Calum never made you feel so ordinary, not on purpose, at least. You had nothing to offer him other than your love. You feared that wouldn’t be enough in the end. The more years that passed, and the closer the possibility of marriage became, you thought it would be better to let go of him first before he ended up resenting you for not choosing someone better when he had the chance. 

You didn’t listen to his pleas for you to stay. Or his professions of love for you, or how his promise to leave the band entirely if it meant you staying. You felt so cruel to let someone who loved you so much go so easily. He was willing to give up his music for you, so how could you ever claim that you were second best to his music? 

But that was the very thing, you were afraid. He loved you so much that he was willing to let his entire life go for you. You couldn’t let him do that to himself, to let go of his happiness. But you had enough self dignity to know that you deserved more out of life than waiting in an empty home to fill up again. 

—

Calum wasn’t sure what to make of the phone call he received just a moment ago. He never thought he’d hear your name again, much less be summoned to the hospital to see you. 

“Mate, why are you still here?” Ashton asked, tucking away his drumsticks. “The nurse called you a half hour ago. Aren’t you going to see her?” 

“I don’t know,” Calum uttered truthfully. “It’s been so long since I last saw her. It was probably a mistake, right? Why would they call me up?” 

Michael rolled his eyes from the couch where he was tuning his guitar. “Because you’re still down as her emergency contact,” he drawled sarcastically. 

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” Calum deadpanned. “I mean, why would they call me and not her parents or something? Or her new boyfriend,” he muttered under his breath. 

Luke approached the group from the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair. “Easy there, tiger,” he teased, grasping Calum’s shoulders from behind. “One might assume you’re jealous.” The youngest of the group quickly dodged the bassist’s shove, laughing while doing so. “To calm your worries, no, she doesn’t have a new boy in her life. And her parents moved to the east coast three months ago so they can’t come over.”

“Well aren’t you the stalker,” Ashton snickered. 

Luke shot the drummer a glare. “I’m not a stalker,” Luke defended himself. “In case you actually wanted to know, I still keep contact with y/n. At least Sierra does for the most part. Though, last time I heard she was in Boston.” 

“Boston,” Calum spoke up in confusion. “What’s she in Boston for? And how did she end up here?” 

Luke clicked his tongue, a knowing look on his face. “If you want to know, you can ask her yourself,” he sang in an annoying tone. 

Michael set his guitar down and stood up in defense of his friend. “While that’s true,” he began. “What about..you know?”

“What about “you know?”” Ashton piped up. “There’s no harm in Calum going. She could really be hurt and need someone with her. If what Luke said is true and you’re the only nearby emergency contact, it’s better safe than sorry that you go to her.” 

The boys shared a look with each other. In their heart of hearts they knew it was a bad idea to let Calum go, especially after everything that had happened. But a selfish part of them wanted their best friend back, so what harm was in that notion? 

“I’ll go,” Calum finally relented. “But she’s coming with me.” 

–

When Calum arrived at the hospital, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The doctor explained it was a car accident, and although you were recovering okay you still had to be observed after minor surgery. A part of Calum’s heartstrings tugged at the thought of you alone and afraid during the accident, thinking he could have done something if you hadn’t broken things off, but he pushed that feeling down. It’s been a year; you’ve probably gotten over him and he’s started a new chapter of his life without you. 

Calum followed the nurse to the recovery room where you were still unconscious. At the sight of you, he instantly lost all air in his lungs. Frozen, the bassist stood before you with a mix of emotions flooding through his face. 

It was as though you were entirely different but still the same in some way. Your face, albeit bruised, looked more peaceful than Calum had seen of you. Hell, even before you broke things off you always had a furrowed brow or frown of some sort. It broke Calum’s heart to know that he was the cause of that stress. 

Calum sat down beside you, instantly grasping your hand like second nature. It was just as soft as he could remember, and your nail polish was chipped and stained the skin surrounding it. Calum chuckled to himself, a tearful smile on his face. He knew your nail polish was your own doing, seeing as you had always asked him to paint your nails since he had “more precision.” 

“Oh y/n,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “What the hell did you get yourself into now?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Calum jerked back to see your eyes staring back at him. “Hi, stranger,” you managed to crack a smile. “What brings you to this hospital?”

Calum choked out a laugh, his thumb grazing against the top of your hand. “Oh you know me,” he said. “Always hanging around these parts whenever I get the chance.” 

“You idiot,” you snorted, shaking your head and wincing in pain.

“Easy now,” Calum reached over to cup your cheek. “The doctor said you have a mild concussion and a sprained ankle, but nothing a bit of rest can’t fix.”

Your hand met his on your face, instantly warming to his touch like nothing had changed between the two of you. “Why are you here, Hood?” you asked curiously.

“You tell me.” Calum pulled out his phone and showed his past calls list. “I got a call from the hospital saying I was your emergency contact.” 

You dropped his hand and covered your face in embarrassment. If your headache wasn’t killing you, the sheer embarrassment was. “Oh my God,” you groaned. “I’m so sorry, Calum. I had meant to change it but I never got the chance and–”

“It’s alright,” Calum calmed you down. “Relax. I’m not mad or anything. If anything, this gave us a great opportunity to reconnect and catch up on things. It’s been what, a year?”

One year, three months, twenty eight days, and twelve and a half hours, the both of you thought subconsciously. But who’s counting? 

The both of you were. Clearly.

“Something like that,” you lied smoothly. “How are you? How are the boys? I’ve kept contact with Crys and Sierra, but I haven’t had a chance to meet with them both. I was actually planning on shooting them a text as soon as I landed here, but obviously I haven’t had the chance.” 

Calum laughed at your blunt humor. He missed that a lot about you. “I’m alright,” he replied. “The boys are great, too. They send their love, by the way. We’ve been cooped up at the studio writing and producing music, though you probably expected that from us.”

Ouch. Was that a dig toward why you broke up with him? “Naturally,” you grinned. “Do I make a special feature in this album? The trashy ex that broke up with the bassist as soon as the tour ended? You best get back to the studio, I’m sure this whole debacle has given you something to write about.” 

“You are far from trashy,” Calum countered, continuing the light banter. “And I’m not going to throw your dirty laundry out like that, I have some taste, you know.” 

“Oh come on,” you pressed. “That hoe called me back, gave me a heart attack,” you sang terribly, making Calum cover his ears. “Oh yeah she broke my heart, that’s not even the start-”

“Oi, quit that!” he laughed. “Leave the songwriting to me because good God that was terrible. Any more of that and you’d put me in the hospital bed next to you. And please do not call yourself a hoe. That’s worse than Luke calling Ash “daddy.”” 

Once your laughter had died down and you ran out of lyrics to spew, a comfortable silence filled the room. His chocolate brown eyes rested down at your joined hands. 

“Thank you, by the way,” you spoke to break the silence. “For coming. You didn’t have to do that.” 

“For my trashy ex?” he teased, a smirk dancing along his lips. “I’d do anything.” 

God why did you break up with him? He was perfect, still is. Why does he still tug at your heartstrings and make you weak with one smile. How could you still feel this way after a whole year? Do you still love him-

“Babe, there you are! This place is a maze, I could barely understand the nurse’s directions.” 

You turned your head so fast, you nearly got whiplash again. Standing before you was a beautiful girl with the most luxurious beach waves and tan that every girl dreamed of. 

She bent down to kiss Calum’s cheek swiftly, making your breath hitch without you realizing. The girl smiled at you, taking your hand -that Calum instantly dropped at the sound of her voice- and squeezing it. “You must be y/n,” she concluded cheerfully. “I’m Tia, Calum’s friend.” 

–

“They are so not friends,” you grumbled to your friends, days after the initial encounter. 

Your friends chuckled at your gray demeanor, each of them taking sips of their coffee or bites of their breakfast. After being discharged from the hospital, the band and their significant others thought it would be perfect to catch up with you during brunch. You had agreed, eager to learn about everything you missed, especially the new couple. 

“You’d be right and wrong, n/n,” Michael replied, setting his mug down. The group was significantly more relaxed to talk about the subject considering Tia needed to take a phone call and Calum insisted on accompanying her. “The way they’re friends isn’t the same as how he’s friends with us–”

“Speak for yourself, baby, Calum keeps my bed warm whenever Sierra’s out,” Luke teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Sierra rolled her eyes playfully, elbowing him in the ribs. 

“And Luke keeps mine warm when they’re both gone,” Ashton chimed in without missing a beat.

Michael sent the youngest and oldest members a glare before continuing. “As I was saying,” he huffed exasperatedly. “They’re in the weird phase between friends and dating. They met a little after the tour and were friends for a while. It was Tia that made the move on Calum, like, two months ago.”

Noticing the stark difference in your facial expressions after hearing Michael’s explanation, Crystal came in to quickly finish the story. “He hasn’t confirmed or denied anything, but they have been on a few dates. He’s taking it very slowly.” 

“That’s..nice to hear,” you slowly began. “But the more I hear about her, the more guilty I feel about feeling this way.” Your shoulders caved in as your friends shared a concerned look. “She seems sweet, and Calum and I are old news. It was my own decision to break things off in the first place.” 

Sierra reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “Why did you break things off with him?” she asked in a quieter voice. 

You couldn’t help but notice how the rest of the group leaned in to hear your answer. “You mean Calum didn’t tell you?” you inquired the boys. 

“He just said it was mutual,” Ashton raised his hands up in defense. “I didn’t know you broke it off with him.” 

“Why didn’t you tell us she broke up with Cal?” Luke whisper-shouted to his partner. 

Sierra only shrugged her shoulders. “I thought you knew,” she responded, her hands grasping around her mug as she took a sip.

“No one knew,” you settled. “And it’s going to stay that way.” 

The group let out shouts of disapproval that were instantly quieted once Calum finally returned and took a seat. “What’s the fuss about?” he asked curiously. 

You shook your head, taking an overly healthy sip of your mimosa. “Oh you know,” you sighed. “Typical group shenanigans, as per usual.” 

“What kind-?” he pressed before being curtly interrupted.

“Where’s Tia?” Luke cut in, saving everyone’s necks for the time being. 

Calum took in a draw of breath after stealing Luke’s cup of coffee, much to the singer’s distaste. “Oh you know,” he copied you teasingly. “Manager calls, as per usual.” 

“She’s been getting plenty of calls lately,” Crystal commented. 

You tried to not show immense interest in the conversation. After all, you didn’t know much about Tia and the group had been too distracted to show you her Instagram profile, damn Michael and his random tangents. In the meantime, you absentmindedly twirled your straw between your thumb and forefinger as the conversation continued. 

“Tia’s getting a lot of public interest, what can I say?” Calum responded. “Her videos are getting more views every day. Her manager’s been calling her nonstop since companies keep reaching out to offer brand deal after brand deal.” 

Ashton let out a hopeful sigh. “Imagine having a brand deal set for life,” he pondered aloud, setting his salad fork down. “I’d adopt more goats and expand the garden.” 

“Cool it, Old McDonald,” Michael snickered. “I can’t imagine the band doing brand deals. Remember One Direction and their Pepsi commercials during the Super Bowl? Louis hated them.” 

The table laughed, recalling the memory. Recognizing your confusion regarding Tia’s profession, Sierra leaned in. “She’s an Instagram influencer and interior designer. She went to school for design but has branched out since. Last time I browsed her page she was doing promos for some yoga company.” 

“Great, so she’s perfect,” you grumbled to yourself, quiet enough for only Ashton to hear since he was right beside you. The drummer snorted, elbowing you roughly. 

Calum, thankfully deaf to your comment, nodded along to Sierra’s explanation. “She’s great,” he hummed. 

Your heart clenched at his words, but a hopeful side of yourself couldn’t help but perk at his courtness. Of course, it could be just to spare your feelings to not speak much about her. But a selfish part in your mind wondered if it was because she wasn’t his missing piece, the way that you fit perfectly for him. 

Stop that, you scolded yourself. Calum is no longer yours, you made sure of that. You were the selfish one who pushed him away. Why do you continue to torture him when he’s finally happy, no thanks to you. You can’t continue to pull him back, that’s why you broke up with him. And here you are,  falling back into old habits. 

You blinked back your tears, the tears you had so desperately fought back since the day you broke up with him. You didn’t deserve to shed these tears when you caused the problem in the first place. Instead, you sucked in a breath and maintained your rigid composure. It’s better than falling apart, which you more than desperately wanted to do at the moment. 

“y/n, you alright?” Calum asked, breaking you from your trance. 

You jumped slightly, lifting your head to face the group. Forcing a smile, you nodded. “Perfectly fine.” 

–

You weren’t sure why you were called here. After becoming mutuals on Instagram (and thoroughly stalking her pristine profile) Tia was quick to invite you out for yoga. You weren’t too keen on attempting yoga with a certified instructor, much preferring to save face in front of the already perfect girl. However, you found her nice and sweet enough to befriend despite the heartache it caused you. 

“I’m really glad you agreed to come with me today,” Tia told you honestly as you finished your session for the day. 

You settled yourself onto the mat, easing yourself into a simple stretch. “I’m glad you offered,” you replied, grunting at the ache panging slightly in your ankle. You were careful not to apply extra stress on your injured foot since it was still tender to the touch at times. “I’ve been eager to relax, especially after that accident.” 

“And you deserve it,” Tia reassured you, beginning her own routine. “Yoga’s good for recovery and stress, I’ve always tried to convince Cal into joining but he wasn’t the most graceful learner.” 

You giggled, recalling how clumsy the bassist would be. “Yeah, I’d leave that to Ashton.” 

Tia nodded in agreement. Her fingers danced down her leg as she continued to stretch. Even as jealous as you were of her, you had to admit she was graceful in everything she did (and you were sure of it with a simple browse through her Tiktoks). 

The two of you stepped out of the yoga studio, mats in tow as you continued to talk about random nonsense. On the walk back to your friend’s house -you had been staying there for the time being-, you came to realize that Tia was as genuine as they come and found it very difficult to dislike her out of jealousy. 

“So you know how Cal and I met,” Tia began, referencing the story of how the two met at an awards show. “How did you and Calum meet and get together?” 

Your mouth went dry. She knew you and Calum were a thing in the past? “I-“ you stammered. 

Tia laughed at your sudden awkwardness. “I’m not dumb, you know,” she joked. “I knew about yours and Cal’s past. He talks a lot about you, you know? More now than ever now that you’re back.” 

You had to stop the butterflies forming in your stomach. “He does?” you catch yourself saying instantly. 

Tia nodded, uncapping her bottle and taking a sip of water. “Oh yeah, big time,” she answered. “It’s really sweet to know that you made such a big impact on his life.” 

Your cheeks began to warm at her words. “He did the same,” you responded with full honesty. Tia patted your shoulder and grinned. “To answer your question, I met Calum a little over ten years ago, once the band started getting famous. I was just a senior in high school when they moved to L.A. I interned at their studio and that’s how we formally met.”

Tia gave you an impressed nod. “You guys got history,” she mused. 

You couldn’t help but smile. The memories of the past always brought a smile to your face. Dyeing Michael’s hair and staining your bathtub red, constantly buying Ash bandanas whenever you came across one you knew he’d like. Luke coming to you when he had writer’s block, and Cal crawling through your bedroom window whenever he felt homesick and wanted someone to talk to. 

“We do,” you agreed. 

Turning a corner down the street, Tia continued to ask you questions. “Who asked who out?” she questioned. “Three years of being friends turned partners was clearly not an overnight thing.” 

“It wasn’t,” you said. “It was Calum who asked me, but it took a whole lot of convincing from the boys.” You laughed quietly to yourself, recalling how he asked you to be your girlfriend. 

You heard music playing softly in the night air. You had been studying nonstop for your college finals and hadn’t seen the outside of your dorm all day. You hadn’t called the boys in a while either since they’ve been touring the world after releasing Sounds Good Feels Good. You were significantly proud of them but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss your boys. Now, hearing the soft guitar strumming from outside your window made you feel more longingful for them than ever. 

Especially Calum. You had a soft spot for the bassist, everyone knew that. You spent the most time with him when you interned at the music studio. He trusted your opinion above everyone else’s, and reached out to you the most while on tour. To say you had a little crush on him would be an understatement. The boys teased you relentlessly and teased Calum much more. They always said it was a matter of time until one of you would cave in and confess to the other. But they were wrong. You’re here in a small college dorm with no air conditioning single as can be while the boy you loved was halfway across the world. 

“Thinking of you,” you texted Calum with a heavy heart. “And the boys, ofc :P” 

You set your phone down and attempted to go back to studying when your phone pinged again. 

“You don’t have to feel so blue, n/n,” he responded. “Look outside”

You hopped out of bed and opened your window as much as the old rusty thing could go. On the campus grass were your favorite boys flashing lights from their phones at you. Calum was resting on Ashton’s shoulders, waving at you with the wild boyish smile you loved with your entire being. Michael and Luke were beside him, Michael playing the guitar and Luke grinning and filming. 

Concentrating hard, you recognized the sweet melody. It was the very song you wrote with him, Beside You. 

“She sleeps alone

My heart wants to come home

I wish I was, I wish I was

Beside you”

Your heart did somersaults at the presentation before you. You had always begged Calum to sing more for the album but the boy was too shy. It took some pushing but you helped him get his confidence up. Taking a cardigan, you ran out of your hall and joined the boys on the lawn, tackling each of them into a hug. 

“What the hell’s wrong with you!” you shouted out with a grin. You didn’t care if your yelling woke up your peers. Your boys were here in the flesh. 

“We missed our girl,” Ashton told you, giving you a strong bear hug. 

“One of us more than the rest,” Luke added with a cheeky smirk. 

Calum had long been off Ashton’s shoulders, awaiting your hugs he missed so much. You, on the other hand, hesitated to do so. 

“Come on!” Michael playfully shoved you. “We’ve come all this way, give the boy a hug!” 

Your face was on fire. The extra pairs of eyes made you embarrassed. Calum took an extra step forward, his hands bashfully in his pockets. 

“Didn’t you miss me, sunshine?” he asked you, awfully shy now after his confession of love. He was nervous he put you off and that he read the signs wrong. 

“I did,” you whispered back, equally shy. “But I think I want something more than a hug.” 

The boys let out whoops and cheers of joy as you decided to bite the bullet, grabbing Calum by the loops of his jeans and pulling him into a kiss.

Once you had pulled away, Calum’s lips formed into a dazed smile. “Be my girl, sunshine?” he asked you softly.

You pressed your lips against his once again, though this one was much shorter. “I was always yours, Calum.”

“Why did you and him end things, y/n?” Tia asked you, bringing you out of your thoughts. You seemed to be stuck in a trance these days, always pondering over the past and what could have been. 

You chewed the inside of your cheek, truly at a loss of words. What could you say? That you had been selfish and pushed him away so that he wouldn’t end up hurting you first? That you drove the knife deep into Calum, twisting it in every way shape and form out of self preservation? There was no other way to put it than that in your mind. 

“Time heals but also kills,” you told her with a broken smile. “Cal and I decided to put ourselves out of our misery and end things while they were good before it got worse.” It wasn’t completely a lie. Sure, he had no say in your ending things, but you spoke the truth about putting him out of his misery.

“Do you still love him?” she asked. 

You glanced over at her. Her eyes shone in the light, curious and innocent. She didn’t know the pain you both had endured that landed you in this position. 

Yes, your heart cried out. You love him. You love him with your entire being, that’s why you let him go. Because you’d rather kill your soul every single day of your life than stop him from reaching his life goals. If you had to go through that awful night that you broke your own heart again, you would, just to ensure that he is happy. 

Even if that meant that he would be happy with someone else. 

“He’s my first love,” you told her tearfully. “Of course I love him. But I am not his love, and that is okay with me. Life goes on, and so should I.” 

The two of you stopped in front of your friend’s house. Tia took your hand and squeezed it. “I really do appreciate you coming along with me today,” she said earnestly. “And I’m glad I got to hear about you and Cal’s history. It really puts things into perspective.” 

You smiled back at her. “Thank you for having me,” you responded. “I hope my words haven’t changed anything between the two of you. I meant what I said; him and I are in the past. I truly want the both of us to move forward and grow in our own separate ways.” 

Your butterflies in your stomach turned into fierce wasps, stinging you sharply. Lies, your heart hissed. Tell her you love him and still want him. 

You forced the bile rising in your throat down. Tia, blind to your inner troubles, continued to speak. “That’s actually what I wanted to ask you,” she chuckled nervously. She grabbed your other hand, bringing them together. 

“I wanted to ask Cal to be my boyfriend,” Tia confessed.

Crack. There goes your heart.

Tia seemed to notice the dip in your lips and immediately retracted. “But I don’t want to overstep or anything!” she rushed. “You and Cal have history, I’m not stupid enough to deny it. And that’s okay, that’s no one’s fault. If you still love him and want him, I’m not going to get in the way. Calum, well, it’s clear he loves you, too. I’ve heard countless amounts of stories about you to not get the memo. I really like Cal, I do. But that can’t go up against love.” 

This was your chance. To right your wrongs from the past and take back what you truly wanted. Calum. You could take this moment to run to his house right now and take him back, and you’d have Tia’s full support. Zero guilt. 

But why did it hurt so bad? 

No. You made your bed, you have to sleep in it. It doesn’t matter if the bed was built of blades of self doubt and hate, you have to slip into the sharp sheets and let it pierce through your skin. You created your own mess. It is you alone that must deal with it. Not Calum, and surely not Tia. 

You’ve made enough problems for everyone as is. 

You mustered enough strength to let go of Tia’s hands and instead cup her cheeks. “Tia, honey,” you whispered calmly. “Our love is in the past. I’ve missed my chance, and I have learned to live with it. I’ve seen the way Calum looks at you, and that’s something that can blossom into something beautiful. There’s no need to dig up something that has already run its course.” 

Tia’s lip trembled at your words. You nodded carefully. “You don’t need my permission or anything to date Calum. You don’t owe me anything. You both deserve to be happy, and clearly you make each other happy.”

“Are you sure?” Tia asked. “I promise you, it won’t hurt my feelings or anything if you still want him.” 

“No, Tia,” you reassured her, despite the burning feeling in your chest. “Please, make him happy. Make him happier than I could ever make him. He deserves that much.” 

–

Two weeks have passed since your encounter with Tia. Last thing you heard was that the two were very happy indeed, but you didn’t hear if they made it official. You had plenty of dates with the girls, but you insisted on changing the subject whenever they brought Calum up. You feared that if you heard about him one more time, you might burst into tears or do something stupid. 

You finished up your work from the office in your friend’s house. Grateful to be able to work from home for the time you stayed in L.A., you had to admit that sitting on a chair from 9 to 5 made you quite sore. Eager to stretch your legs, you decided to take a walk to the local park. 

However, it wasn’t any random park. It was the place you and Cal used to have endless dates when he was back from tour or the studio. You’d lay on the blanket he took from his apartment at the time and stare at the stars. Back when you both didn’t have much, you’d snack on soup crackers you took from each time you went to the diner across the street and share a can of Coke Cal took from the vending machine after work. So many secrets were shared at this park, and so many memories were made, too. 

“I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who still frequents this place.” 

You jumped to see the last person you expected at this place. Calum gave you a bashful smile before sitting beside you on the grass. You took in the last hour of sun beaming down your skin before the sky went dark, closing your eyes and tuning out the sound of the infamous L.A. traffic. 

“How can I not?” you quipped. “This park is the only place in L.A. that isn’t stuffy or gross.”

Calum let out a laugh, quietly agreeing with you. “So what brings you here, Hood?” you asked, nudging his shoulder. 

The bassist could only shrug his shoulders. “Could say the same about you,” he hummed. “Sometimes I like to sit here and write music. Other times I just sit here and listen to the ambiance.” You nodded, crossing your arms on your chest and making sure to keep a safe distance from him. His touch was mesmerizing, but you had to remind yourself that he was no longer yours. 

“This place reminds me to stay grounded,” he told you truthfully. “When I get too in my head, I always go here, even after we broke up.” 

You dropped your hands to the grass, braiding the blades absentmindedly. “I’m glad,” you spoke up. Calum looked over at you, awaiting an explanation. “It’s too good of a place to let go after a silly little relationship.” 

“It wasn’t a silly little-” Calum fought back. 

“Let’s not talk about it, Cal,” you sighed exasperatedly. 

Calum instantly frowned. “Why not?” he pressed. “You never seem to want to talk about the good old days.”

“Because it wasn’t “the good old days,”” you insisted, lying through your teeth. 

Calum let out a stubborn huff. “Now that’s a lie,” Calum shot back. “But whatever, I won’t push.” A pregnant silence took over the two of you as Calum tried to find something to say. “Have you found yourself a new boyfriend yet?” he decided to ask. 

“Calum-” you began.

“You said not to bring up the past,” Calum argued. “This is the best I can do.” 

You shook your head at his words, giving in nonetheless. “No, I don’t,” you answered. 

“Are you not ready for one?” he asked. 

“I-” You took a moment to find the right words. “I need to work on myself before moving forward with someone else.” 

“Well, I don’t get that,” Calum commented with a snort. “You’re perfect, what could you possibly work on?”

You choked out a dry laugh, though there was no humor behind it. “Quite a bit, I’d say,” you confessed. “Calum, I was a mess, I still am. I can’t put someone through that again.” 

“You didn’t put me through anything,” Calum persisted. “And now that you mention us, I can’t recall anything that you did wrong in that relationship. It was all me.”

“No Calum!” you raised your voice, standing up abruptly. He quickly followed, standing up to meet your frustrated, tired eyes. “It was me. And I’m tired of you insisting otherwise.” 

“You said that I was always gone,” Calum reminded you, his voice matching the same volume as yours. “I don’t see anything that involves you in that.” 

You threw your hands in the air. “Because I was needy!” you exclaimed. “And I was pushy, and I hated being alone all the time–”

“But I’m right here!” he yelled back. You took a step back in shock. He was never one to raise his voice at you, even when you fought in the past. It was your throat that got raw in those arguments from having a shouting match against yourself and losing hopelessly. “Goddammit y/n I’m right here. And I promised you that night that I would always be here if that’s what you wanted.” 

Tears began to stream down your face as you pulled your hair in anger. “You don’t understand, Calum,” you cried out. 

“Then help me understand!” Calum took a step closer to you, taking your hands in his. His brown eyes were desperate, searching yours for an answer. “Please, sunshine, let me in.” 

For a moment, you almost faltered. You nearly gave in at his sweet words and use of that old nickname. But Tia remained in the back of your mind, and guilt sunk in once more.

You released yourself from his touch, looking away from his eyes. “You can’t call me that anymore,” you whispered to him. “I can’t, Calum. I just can’t.” 

Calum watched you back away hopelessly. “y/n,” he sighed.

“I’m leaving for Boston in two days,” you told him. “I’m sure Ash told you that already, though. I overstayed my welcome at my friend’s house. I should start packing.”

The bassist followed you to the gate of the park. “But I feel like we should talk about this,” Calum pleaded. 

Your fingertips grazed the gate, the cool metal sending shivers down your spine. “I’ll see you at the party, Calum.” 

– 

When you told the boys the date you were going back to Boston, Ashton jumped at the opportunity to throw you a goodbye party. In addition to catching up with you and spending every moment available with you, the boys insisted on planning the “biggest party of the century” for your departure. 

“I still don’t see the necessity for all of this,” you told the three boys with a shake of your head. 

“Trust us,” Ashton said with a wild grin. “We all need this.” 

So here you were, casually sipping your cocktail in the corner of Ashton’s home while their exquisite rager took the house by storm. Sierra and Crystal stayed by your side throughout the night, insisting  to keep up with each other while you were away. This time, you made sure to not end contact with them the way you did last time. Tia had also been in the group but left some time ago to deal with something. 

“Are you sure you have to leave?” Luke asked, pouting dramatically. “L.A. isn’t the same without you here, n/n.” 

You ruffled his hair playfully. The singer was always a little brother to you, no matter how close in age the two of you were. “I do, bub,” you said in a sorry voice. “I don’t think my boss could stand another week without me in the studio.” 

“Then move back to this location!” Michael proposed, raising his glass and nearly spilling his drink on the floor. “Transferring wouldn’t be a bad idea, would it? The studio would love to have you back, producing and doing whatever else you do.” 

You laughed at Michael’s drunken state. You were having a lot of fun relishing in the last few moments with your friends before leaving them once again. You almost didn’t realize the shouting that was going on in the dining room of Ashton’s home. 

The entire group ran to the source of the noise to find Calum standing on the dining table with Tia pleading for him to get down.

“Calum, babe, please,” Tia shouted. “You’re causing a scene.” 

All guests turned to see what was going on, especially to see why the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer was shouting complete intelligible nonsense. 

Ashton ran towards the edge of the table. “Mate, you need to get down,” he begged hurriedly. “You’re not thinking straight, you need to get down before you get hurt.”

“No,” Calum insisted, his words slurring slightly due to his inebriated state. “I need everyone to listen to me.” 

Someone had managed to find the speaker and turn it off so everyone could hear Calum. Your heart was beating out of your chest, not from the alcohol buzzing through your system, but because of the drunk boy standing before you. 

Calum raised his cup to the crowd. “I’d like to raise a toast to the girl who broke my heart,” he announced sloppily. “The “heartbreak girl” herself, y/n l/n.” Calum clapped loudly. He was the only one who was clapping while you stood there in shock and humiliation. “I loved you, you know?” he sniffed. “And I bloody well still do. Tia’s great, though. Absolutely nothing wrong with you, Tia, I hope you know that. But you’re not the one. y/n right here, she’s the one.” 

His brown eyes, red from drinking and smoking God knows what, teared up as he looked down at you. “But what I can’t figure out is why won’t she love me?” Calum threw back the rest of his drink and winced at how strong it was. “I was getting ready to propose to you, you know?” he told you. “I had the ring in my pocket, and I was just waiting for the perfect moment.” Calum chuckled to himself bitterly. “Guess I fucked that up tremendously.”

“Calum, stop,” you pleaded. 

“Why should I?” he asked you incredulously. “You didn’t stop packing your things when I asked you to. You didn’t stop running when I chased after you in the dark. You didn’t stop when you booked that flight across the country to run away from me.” 

Tears were streaming down your face now. “It wasn’t like that, Cal,” you cried. “W-we broke up for a reason-”

“And that’s what I can’t wrap my head around!” he shouted. “You barely gave me a reason! You told me you never saw me anymore. I was willing to make more time for you, to end my career for you, to get down on one knee and be with you, and that wasn’t enough! There had to be another reason-”

“There wasn’t, Cal!” you sobbed. “So drop it, please.” 

Silence spread throughout the whole house. No one moved an inch, too shocked to make a single sound or move. All that could be heard was the sounds of your messy sobs that you failed to keep in. Cal dropped his cup and gestured his hands at you. 

“The Heartbreak Girl, everyone,” he announced with a broken sigh. “Hope you enjoyed this one hell of a show, with your heartbroken host, Calum Thomas Hood.”

You ran out of the house as fast as your feet could take you. The air was brisk in your lungs, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care when the man you loved poured his heart out to you, only for you to squash it like it was nothing. 

“y/n!” you heard a voice call out for you. You whipped around to see Tia, scrambling to catch up to you. In the back, you could see the band -minus Calum- and their significant others peering out the glass door to see what was going on. 

Tia grabbed your hand tightly. “y/n, fuck, I’m so sorry about Calum,” she apologized, swearing profusely. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. First we were talking about our relationship then-“

“Please, don’t bring up your relationship,” you cut her off, roughly shaking your head. “I know I gave you my blessing, but please I can’t bear to get my heart broken again.” 

“You don’t understand!” Tia pushed. “We don’t have a relationship to begin with! y/n, I never asked Calum to be my boyfriend, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t interfere with a love as great as yours and his.”

You stumbled backwards. “What?” 

Tia nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “y/n, you and Calum are endgame, don’t you see? I only talked to him tonight to explain that you still loved him. I guess he was too caught up in the alcohol to think rationally.” 

“Tia,” you said, voice dripping in disappointment and dread. “That wasn’t your secret to tell him.”

“Were you going to say anything?” she shot back. “You weren’t, so I had to take matters into my own hands. n/n, I’m a firm believer in fate and second chances. This is your chance at making everything right-“ 

“But I can’t!” you cried, ripping your hand away from hers. “Don’t you get it? I’m the one that’s killing him! I put him through hell and I can’t continue to do that. Why can’t you see that I’m a fucked up mess that ruins everything I touch? I love Calum, I’ll never stop loving him, but I’m not blind enough to not see that my love is torturing him slowly.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. Tears reappeared in the corner of your eyes, but you were too tired to wipe them away. “I’m never going to be enough for Calum,” you confessed. “That’s why I broke up with him. I can’t watch him waste his life away on a girl that’s only going to disappoint him. I’m not like you, Tia. I’m not perfect, or beautiful, or smart, or anything remotely interesting. And one day, Calum is going to see that and realize he missed his opportunity to find someone good for him, someone that he deserves.

“I don’t deserve him, Tia,” you finished in a broken whisper. “I never will. So I’d rather fade into the background and be a distant memory than become a face he can’t stand to look at.” 

“That’s not true,” Tia insisted, tears gracefully falling down her beautiful face. “y/n, you have to believe me when I say that’s not true.”

A car drove down the street, approaching the two of you. You let out a sigh of relief, recognizing it as your uber. “I don’t have to believe you,” you replied, opening the car door. “My word is all that I need.”

—

Calum woke up the next day with a pounding headache. He groaned aloud, sitting up on the couch and cradling his head. He wished he was drunk enough that night to forget everything that happened, but he remembered every single detail. From the beat of the bass from the stereo to the way your dress hugged your curves he loved to kiss and hold. 

He finally pushed you away, he realized. And for good, this time. Calum felt dread and regret rush through his system, and all he wanted was to crawl into his bed and sleep his life away. 

“You know grumbling isn’t going to cure a hangover,” Tia’s reprimanding voice rang through the living room. 

Tia. Calum jumped up to face her where she had been leaning against the door frame.

“Oh Ti,” he sighed, covering his face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry for last night, I must have humiliated you. I’m a right idiot, and I’m so sorry I put you through that.” 

“Oh shut up,” Tia laughed, walking over to him and sitting him down. “I can’t say that I wasn’t hurt, but I also can’t say I was surprised with how things turned out.” Calum hung his head low, ashamed of his behavior. He never wanted to hurt either of you. “Cal, you don’t have to be so sullen. It’s okay, there’s no hard feelings or bad blood between us.”

When Calum couldn’t bring himself to respond, Tia decided to take it a step further. “I always knew you loved her,” she confessed. “That’s why I brought it up to you last night. I wanted both of you to work things out. She really does love you.” 

Calum let out a bitter laugh. “She sure has a way of showing it,” he muttered. “Tia, don’t make me feel worse by feeding me lies. It hurts enough that I hurt both of you, don’t make it worse by saying that bullshit.” 

“I’m telling the truth!” she fought back. “y/n still loves you, she told me that herself.”

“Then why did she break up with me?” Calum retorted. “If her love never left the table, where was it when she broke things off? Correct me if I’m wrong, Tia, but I don’t think that’s how you treat the people you supposedly love.” 

Tia screwed her eyes shut, heaving out a sigh. “She loved you so much, she thought you deserved more,” Tia finally explained. “She let you go so that you could find someone better, someone who makes you happier.” 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Calum shook his head, eyebrows furrowed in thought. “How could she think that? No one could be better than her, um, no offense.” Tia snorted at the last part. “If anything, I thought I didn’t deserve her.”

“Well you’re both idiots,” Tia deadpanned. “You two clearly love each other more than life itself but were too blind to see you were perfect for each other.” 

Calum’s shoulders caved in as he drowned in his thoughts. His hangover headache was piercing his skull but he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t process why you’d ever think so lowly of yourself when he praised the ground you walk on. 

“How can I go back to her and repair things when I never realized she was hurting?” he asked. “Why would she ever want me back when I wasn’t there at her lowest? All the signs were there. She stopped calling me every night to talk about her day while I was away. She’d dodge my Facetimes with bullshit excuses that I failed to point out.” Calum huffed to himself, beating himself up critically. “What makes you think I won’t fuck up again when she needs me?”

“Because you’ve learned from your mistakes before,” Tia told him, rubbing his arm soothingly. “And you can learn from them again. That’s what I like about you, Cal. You always made an effort to better yourself, no matter the challenge. And if you truly love her, you’re going to end up fine.” 

Calum smiled softly at Tia’s words, raising his chin to look her in the eyes. “I love her so much,” he whispered. The bassist took her hand, squeezing it affectionately. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with us, Ti,” he apologized genuinely. “I really do hope you find someone who is willing to lay down their life for you.” 

“I’ve watched two lovers reconnect like no time has passed at all,” Tia smiled back. “Trust me, I have the groundwork laid out for what’s ahead of me.” 

Suddenly, Calum’s phone began to ring. Lunging towards the arm of the couch, Calum pulled his phone off the charger and read the caller ID. Eyes wide, he looked at Tia who gave him a knowing look. 

“I’ll start the car.” 

–

You opened your eyes, immediately squinting at the bright light. You were met once again with the familiar feeling of a skull splitting headache and aching ankle. 

“Must you always get yourself into these situations?” 

You turned to face those brown eyes and cheeky smile you adored. Calum shook his head in disbelief, taking your hand in his. “I thought you said you’d change your emergency contact,” he said in a scolding tone. 

Your face was on fire at his words. “I forgot,” you told him honestly. 

Once again, you ended up in the hospital with similar injuries to what you received at the beginning of your trip. But instead of a car accident, you’d clumsily fallen down the stairs on the way to your Uber to the airport. Luckily a neighbor next door heard the ruckus and loaded you into the Uber straight to the hospital. 

“Or it’s fate,” Calum suggested, resting his hand on the side of your head. 

“Calum,” you tried to counter.

He stopped you instantly. “I know why you ended things,” he simply told you. “And I think I deserve a say in it.” Closing your mouth, you let him speak. “You’re wrong, y/n. You do deserve me as much as I deserve you. And I love you no matter what. I don’t need a famous celebrity as my partner when I have you in my life. None of that superficial stuff matters to me, y/n, you know that. And I know that for as long as I live and you forget to change your emergency contact list, I’ll always come for you.” 

Your heart fluttered, and you allowed yourself to feel hope for the both of you. “But what if someday down the line you want more?” you asked in a small voice. 

Calum blinked away his tears. “What more can I want?” he said in response. “You’re all I want, y/n. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that.” 

“Don’t apologize,” you laughed, tears beginning to fall, too. “It was my stupid brain that made me doubt in the first place.” 

Calum leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. “So is that it?” he asked. “Are we done doubting? Will you finally come home, y/n? Be with me forever?” 

You raised your hand to cup his cheek. He instinctively leaned into your touch. “With you,” you told him surely. “I’m always home. I’m yours, Calum Hood.” 

–

if you enjoyed, please like and reblog! it would mean a lot to me <3

[carryonafi]

my poor brain.

calum hood x reader; SMUT!!!

a/n: this one has been cooking for a little while teehee 😋 some more smut (high edition) because apparently that is all i am capable of writing — and plus, we need some more calum on this blog <3 enjoy!!

words: 2.1k

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The drug made your head spin, taking one slow, deep breath as colorful specks clouded your peripheral vision. Did it feel euphoric, though. Your eyes hooded, staring up at the popcorn ceiling which spun gradually. It made you dizzy, you had to close your eyes. However, they opened immediately after you thought you heard the sounds of footsteps approaching and a soft laugh came from your boyfriend.

“Don’t think that's yours, sweet pea.” He sat on the edge of the bed, just next to where you were laying with your head half-way on the pillow.

“What’s yours is mine too, now.” You mumble as lovingly as you could manage, a lazy smile followed as your head lulled to the side to look at him. He had more. He was over the rolling tray as you perked up, then slowly began to straighten up on the bed. The change in position made you all muddled again, a wave of warmth rushed over you as you shuffled closer to Calum and wrapped your arms around his middle. Your chin rested on his shoulder to watch what he was doing, but the soft pump of your heartbeat blended with his and echoed in your ears. You could hear his breathing through the haze, everything was just so slow. So slow, and so warm. He brought his free hand up to cup your cheek, pressing the thin paper closed with the tip of his tongue. “That’s my way of saying you’re mine.” Your thought finally finished, nose pressing into his hair as he let go of your face to grasp for the patterned lighter left on the bedside table.

“Mm, you stole that from me too.” He hummed, that was what he had told you at some point during your year of being together. Clothes were shared between the two of you to the point where you didn’t know what belonged to you anymore, but you couldn’t focus on your blatant plagiarism. Now, you could hear the flicker of the lighter, the crackling and hissing of the joint and Calum’s frame expanding as he inhaled. Dizzy again. You had no idea how anyone could make taking a drag like that as attractive as he did, your pupils dilated to accompany the glossy shield as you admired him. The hollowing of his cheeks as he pulled, joint still a flaming orange as he pushed out the blue-tinted smoke ahead of him. His hair had grown into a thick mess of black and blond atop his head, so easy for you to tangle your hands in… but they were too occupied tracing small shapes into his sides. He offered you the burning joint, to which you politely declined by shaking your head.

“Shotgun me.” You said just above a whisper, followed by another dazed smile as you poked your tongue out to wet your lips which felt endlessly dry. Calum breathed out a laugh, shaking his head as he flicked the lighter once more.

“So bold, Y/N.” He teased, you giggled and waited so very patiently for the moment he made your wish come true. Another flick of the lighter, and another, and another… Calum cursed. This made you whine.

“Cal..” You pouted, slowly falling back into a kneeling position, sitting on your heels as Calum got up to search for a lighter that wasn't all burnt and useless.

“I’m comin’ baby, I’m comin’...” He rushed to dig through his coat pockets, letting out a breath of relief as he tossed the old piece of plastic off to his desk and used this new lighter. It felt like hours, such long hours until he was finally standing just in front of you as you stood on your knees at the edge of the bed. Soft navy blue sheets crinkled under your weight, wrapping your arms around his neck to feel the same shift of fabric on his shirt, Calum’s free hand cupped your jaw, rough pad of his thumb rubbing against your bottom lip and making you feel like the most wanted in the world. You could see every little detail, half-lidded eyes, full lips wrapped around the paper, you leaned in just at the right time as he pushed the smoke past your lips. You could only let out a soft hum into his mouth which sounded more like a reaction to pleasure, Calum briefly pulled away to set the joint down onto the ceramic ashtray. Just before he kissed you again, he leaned in close and hovered while brushing his top lip against your bottom one. A sigh of want exited you, a quick, sharp inhale taking its place as Calum forced your lips back together and moved the hand that was on your jaw all the way down to the small of your back to ensure you didn’t fall back. He was bending you down, holding on carefully as you made out and he couldn’t hold your bodies up anymore. You were finally laying down on the bed again after shuffling out from that kneel, ankles hooked around his waist to hold him close.

“Guys are downstairs.” He mumbled between kisses, squeezing his eyes shut as your warmth pressed into his hips.

“So?” You whispered back, now rushing to tangle your hands in the hair at the nape of his neck so he could never get away from you. Calum whispered some nonsense about them expecting the two of you to come down soon, all you did was move those kisses to his cheek, then his soft jaw, then his neck just about as far as you could get without him resisting. You lifted your leg slightly, thigh pressing into where he stirred in his sweatpants.

“So.. they’ll wonder why we’ve been gone so long.” Calum replied, but it didn’t really sound like he was trying to fight back too much. Especially with how breathy he got at the end of his sentence, you knew he just couldn’t say no.

“We can be quick.” You traced your fingertips along the curve of his jaw just as you let your head drop back down into the bed.

“You know I can never just be quick with you.” Calum began to push your (his) top up your body either way, his fingers were so warm against your body that the contrast made you shiver. He was so gentle, so intoxicating that without another word you lifted your arms to bring the shirt over your head and throw it off to the side.

“Y’know..” You mumble, hands immediately finding the hem of his shirt as well before making the same moves Calum had to take your shirt off. Then you trailed off, taking a moment to think as your boyfriend stared back at you with curiosity. “Forgot what I was gonna say.” You giggled, a soft one that turned into a quiet laugh as Calum’s hands trailed over your sensitive, ticklish sides.

“You’re silly.” Was all he could say, leaning in and pressing soft kisses to your stomach despite your body constantly wiggling against him. It was like a battle to get you to stay still… he blew a raspberry into your skin just below your navel.

“Calum!” You gripped the sheets and laughed, but the more you laughed the more those soft waves of euphoria washed over you and made your grip weaker. All to distract you, since you had no idea that your panties had come off in that instant.

Calum’s lips twisted into an amused grin against your skin, pulling away and looking down at you with those sweet chocolate eyes almost completely darkened with desire. His eyes were so beautiful, just so goddamn beautiful. It was like Calum could see your thoughts in the way your expression softened once you got to losing yourself in his deep, hypnotizing irises. He didn’t speak a lot, he never spoke an excessive amount while making love, but he didn’t need to. There was an understanding in you both almost at all times. However, it was nice to hear his voice.

“Y’ready for me, sweet pea?” Calum said in a breath, his eyes roaming every inch of your face, towards your hair fanned out across the blankets, then following the line of your jaw and the fading hickeys he had left just the day before.

“Mmhm..” You nodded with that weak hum, nothing that was going on past your field of vision had registered in your slow moving mind, but hell, it did when you felt him sink inside.

It didn’t even take a second, you were already starting to writhe slightly against the blankets and silently beg for more with quiet, needy huffs of breath and eyes suddenly wider than before. Calum would be smiling at the sight of you if he weren’t so focused on making sure you didn’t hurt yourself with how much you moved.

“Slow down.. s’okay. I’m gettin’ there.” He squeezed your hip to put your wiggling to an end, it all just felt so real— more real than anything has felt in the last hour.

His words soothed you a little bit, though at this point you weren’t sure if the things you thought you were saying actually made it past your lips. It all just moved so slow, so slow and loving.

Calum would mutter these little phrases under his breath, right next to your ear so you could feel each syllable being spoken to you, or to himself. Just sweet things which could turn so vulgar so quick, how beautiful you were to how badly he wanted to pound you into the mattress within a matter of seconds. However, he was just so expressive… you couldn’t get sick of it.

“Cal,” you mutter hoarsely. Watching as his eyes gradually opened and the soft movements of his hips slowed down, but hit so much deeper. You reacted boldly, a hand moving to tangle in his hair again. Those soft ones right on his neck which tended to be smoother than the others. His coconut conditioner really did him wonders.

“Mm?” Calum was taking his time, his hands braced on the backs of your thighs and digging into your flesh, bound to leave bruises.

“I need it faster…” Your voice came out in a slight gasp as Calum spread your legs further and paused his rhythm for a moment, fully inside you. He looked at you expectantly, did you not add that sweet plea at the end like you thought?

“Please.”

“That’s it.” He said so gently, lips wandering over your cheekbones and peppering kisses over your recently sun-kissed skin before settling a place on your lips. You let out a muffled, whimper-like noise once Calum started to move again but faster as you wanted.

That was it, this was the pace that was going to have you seeing galaxies despite how slow and attentive Calum was. If anything, it was all fuel to the fire.

He looked at you with nothing but love, love which shone through the deep, glassy exterior of his eyes which in all honesty made this ten times better. Calum was physically making you weak in the knees and with every second that passed, it got even more intense.

You let out a weak call of his name, and he responded by leaning in and gently kissing your lips.

“Shhh, baby…” He mumbled, mouth never moving off of yours which created a soft vibration of his words on your lips. All you could do was gasp against his lips, it was so slow… so slow but so good. The pace was making you lose it, back arched against the mattress and crinkled sheets when your body finally started to react to your orgasm quickly catching up to you and pleasure crashing down in waves. Maybe that wasn’t the right phrase, it wasn’t very intense… move like soft rushes of electricity which made your legs twitch.

And there was even more to come as you clamped down on his cock, sending that delicious domino effect of your orgasms following one another through the room. Your body was stuck in one place, looking up at Calum and the sweat on his hairline like it was shore meeting the ocean. His perfect skin, being the case.

He sat up and pulled you with him, making you sigh as he held you close and idly stroked the like of where your spine was.

“Told you I can never just be quick.” He muttered right against your hair, peppering kisses down the side of your face as you grinned at the sensation of Calum’s soft lips on your skin.

“Yeah,” You hummed in agreement. There was no doubt what you would be met with downstairs when you finally got back to your friends, in for the teasing and playful comments which would drive you to blush, but Calum just to feel prideful.

[ameliora-j]

Hey babe! Could you do beard burn with Calum? Like him just absolutely going to town on you and not caring about the rash he’s given you?🌟

THIS IS SO JENDISJENRJFKD brb switching lanes love u mikey !! ♡

content: beard!calum, oral (f!receiving), mean!calum (j mocking frl), bonus content at the end !! 18+ MDNI !!

“c-cal… gonna… gonna be late!” you whine out through moans, tugging at his curls as your eyes roll back. he hums, quickly coming up from between your legs to shoot you a smirk. you two are supposed to be heading to the ama’s, but calum had other plans once he saw you in the dress he’d picked out.

“darling… look at what you’ve got on” he mumbled, kissing up your thighs. your back arched and you whined as you felt his stubble rubbing against your already sensitive skin. “you look absolutely ravishing… let me finish and we’ll get going” he whispered, licking a bold stripe all the way up your pussy as he moaned at the taste.

the dress had a high slit up your right leg, and a very low back. simple spaghetti strings with an a-line, but he went wild as soon as he saw you put on the matching heels he had called in a favor for. you had mentioned how cool it would be to have a red pair of red bottoms to match your red dress, but louboutin didn’t sell any. so the only obvious answer was for calum to call and get a custom pair for you to wear for the awards show.

you were now sat on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide with calum kneeled between them as he practically made out with your cunt. you had cum once already, but he said it wasn’t enough for him, pressing you further into the mattress and continuing to eat your pussy like it was the last supper.

your thighs had begun to burn as you neared your first high, and the small rash from his stubble had only gotten worse the more he ate you out. “calum…” you whine as his lips wrap around your clit once more.

he chuckles meanly, pushing two fingers into your cunt and fingering you quickly to make you wrap your legs around his head. he groans as he feels one of your heels digging into his back, being motivated by the pain to double down. his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls your hips up, using his strength to grind your cunt against his face as he slurps at your juices.

you cry out his name, tugging harder at his hair as your legs begin to shake. he moans at the pain, shaking his head back and forth as he eats you, his beard rubbing up against your sensitive thighs as he tongue fucks you. “cumming!” you cry, barely able to give him a warning as his thumb connects with your clit and rubs it in quick, harsh circles.

he moans as he tastes you creaming on his tongue, making sure to slurp at his mess. your legs shake, hips twitching with aftershocks as he cleans your sticky cunt with his tongue. calum smirks as he sees the dazed look on your face, and it widens as he sees the red irritation marks forming on your thighs. he rubs his cheeks against them for good measure, chuckling meanly as you shriek and try to squeeze your legs shut to get away, only making the rash worse.

he knows you’re gonna be whining and squirming your way down the red carpet tonight and he couldn’t be more proud of this fact as he fixes your panties and helps you to stand so you can get to the car.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

bonus!: you hear childish giggles and snorts as you leave the red carpet to go find your seats in the show, turning to glare at the other guys and their girlfriends. “what’s so funny?” you frown.

“first day walking in heels, yn?” sierra asks and the group laughs even harder. calum stands beside you with a proud smirk, holding your waist as he has you practically pressed against his side. he licks his lips, biting his bottom one gently at the recollection of what had occurred merely an hour before.

“not with the look calum has” michael smirked, causing the group to laugh harder—even earning a chuckle from calum himself. you gasp in mock offense, playfully slapping calum’s chest.

“oh i’m sorry princess” he mocks a pout, kissing your head. “it’s just so cute when you get all limp-y and try to walk so the beard burn doesn’t hurt” he whispers softly. “know it makes you more wet though, doesn’t it?” he mocks lowly so only you can hear.

the thick swallow that he hears is more than enough to give him an answer, and at that he just laughs harder.

[valentiyne]

𝖺𝗐𝖺𝗋𝖽𝗌 & 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝗒 𝗆𝖾𝖽𝖺𝗅𝗌 ☆ 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗎𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽

Calum Hood x Famous!Reader Summary: Requested! After 4 years of agreed no contact, one phone call and song takes back all that you've worked for. Warnings: Mild Cursing, Slight of Explicit Content. Word Count: 1k (not rlly proofread lol) Copyright © 2023 Valentiyne. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻

"So, Y/n tell us more about Calum Hood"

A name I hadn't heard in exactly 4 years to the very date.

48 months, 1461 days, and 35040 excruciating long fucking hours.

My face immediately lights up at the name nevertheless, brushing my hair behind my ear nervously,

"Hood? I'm not quite sure what this has to do with my upcoming EP coming out at midnight", I breathlessly laugh out, my eyes locking with the interviewer in front of me. My new work titled, "Bittersweet" was launching at midnight, only containing 4 songs to go along with the 4 bittersweet years I've spent away from him. It was hopeless of me to write about him, but he was the only source of inspiration I could find.

"Well you two had a bit of chemistry as far as we know, is that right?"

Sure we did. We spent over 6 years together on and off, but always came back to each other. He was my rock, my everything, but ultimately we knew it wasn't going to work out.

"Sure we did, I mean it was nothing but a mere innocent crush", I cross my legs now, my shaky hands clasped on top of my knees. The crowd was silent as excited fans packed into the small room to hear the soft launch before midnight.

"Well it was surely more than innocent", she motions to the screen next to us. "This picture was taken four years ago in Bali during the second leg of their tour", I mentally roll my eyes but smile anyway. A few people from the crowd squealed as the iconic picture of us in cuddled up on the beach was displayed, the same one he posted himself as an excuse to have me on his page.

"Like I said- It was a small crush" I was trying to convince myself more than everyone else.

I watch as the slideshow continues on, the screen filled with every single moment in time that Calum and I were spotted together across the world. A few innocent ones of us walking next to each other, to one taken on the balcony of a hotel. We were just kids who didn't know what they were doing- lost in the moment together. He will always have a place in my heart. When things ultimately ended, we both agreed to never speak again- it was only weighing each other down.

"Well I thank you for your time, I hope everyone enjoys the album and finds some comfort in the chaos", I stand up abruptly, extending my hand to shake the interviewer's hand. The crowd cheered quietly as I walked off the stage with a slight wave. I needed to get out of here, I felt like a complete idiot working myself up over someone that I no longer talked to.

I slipped past the stage crew as I shuffled out past the backdoors and towards the parking lot, my fingers fumbling with my keys as I tore my driver's door open and plopped down dramatically. The door shut behind me and I sighed to myself loudly,

That was fucking ridiculous, they didn't even ask anything about me. Just about someone I never wanted to mention. Of course, I could talk about him until the end of time, but it wasn't my place to do so anymore. He was playing sold-out shows every other day and had no worry about a girl back home who happened to have matching tattoos with him, right? The tattoo we shared was of a small flower underneath our ribs, the same flower he gave me on our one-year "situationshipversary" as he called it. It was a silly gesture that I treasured, the California wildflower that he pulled over on the side of the Pacific Coast Highway to pick during peak traffic on the way to my house. It now lay inside a small glass bottle hung around my neck, all wilted like our history.

I pull my phone from my purse, scrolling down to the bottom of my contact list, and clicking on the "DO NOT CALL!!!!" number. I hesitantly dial his number and bring it up to my ear,

"Hey! You reached Calum, I'm away from my phone right now but leave a message!", He declined it immediately, either that or his phone was dead. Not quite sure which one makes me feel better. I roll my eyes at the stupid prepubescent voice and turn my phone off.

I tossed my phone down onto my lap and leaned my head against the wheel. I subconsciously wanted to log back into my Instagram and scroll down an update page to find out anything about him. I had no idea what he was up to or who he was with, it's been years since I've last heard his voice.

"You know this isn't good for either of us, Y/n", he rang through my head as I remember standing on his porch in late July.

"Calum, we've been through this so many times- why can't we just try?"

He runs his hand through his freshly cut hair and shakes his head, "It never ends well, I feel like a fucking lost dog who always limps its way back to you.. I just- Fuck- I can't do thi-"

The last thing I remember was the door closing in my face, leaving me all alone with no closure. I could hear him on the other side, a thump on the door indicating he was leaning against it. I tried for the handle, jiggling it a few times before banging on it, begging for him to talk to me. I couldn't stay mad at him forever, as much as I wanted to. I wanted to scream at him, slap him in his beautiful face, and kiss him all at once.

My phone vibrating snapped me out of my thoughts and I looked down,

DO NOT CALL!!!!

My heart skips a beat, staring at my phone on my lap buzzing away. I bit my lip softly, pulling it closer to my face as I accepted the FaceTime call.

The camera was pointing to the ceiling when I answered, his voice booming loudly as he spoke.

"Hello?"

I let let a breath I didn't know I was holding, trying to gather the right words to say. What was I supposed to say after all this time?

"Cal?", my voice is softer than I had hoped for, the word slipping past my lip like it's begging to finally be let out.

"Holy shit", the camera shifts and he props it up against the wall, waving at me with one hand. Calum sits in his studio chair with his old bass in his lap, headphones pushed back against his long curly hair. His eyes are wide as he raises an eyebrow, "Shit, long time no see."

I adjust the camera against my steering wheel and scoot my seat back, allowing for a better view of myself as I smile innocently with an awkward wave. "Hi Cal, how ya been?" I see his eyes travel down to the necklace around my neck, my fingers dancing around the bottle as I speak.

"Shit, Y/n if I'd known it was you calling I would've answered way faster, I just had deleted your number-", he stops himself, looking up with a sympathetic crooked smile before sighing. I raise a hand up to reassure him instead, "Calum", god saying his name tugs at my heartstrings, "It's okay, I get it... we don't have to dance around it.. now what are you up to?"

He was lying, Calum hood was bluffing to my face and I had no idea. After all this time, he still had my contact listed as "My wildflower", but he couldn't dare admit to me that he didn't answer sooner because he was scared.

Scared of what I was going to say

Scared id tell him I found someone new

Scared of seeing or hearing me again

"I'm actually working on a song right now", he laughs and holds the iconic bass up, a small spot right under the strings that once had a star sticker I placed on it- now scraped off.

I make a face, reminding myself that that was the past and I shouldn't dwell on it too much, but seeing him happier without me didn't make me feel like I thought it would. A part of me wished he was as miserable as I was, cooped up in my room writing stupid songs that were confessing my raw feelings.

"What's it about?", I chirp up as he bends down to play a few notes on the keyboard next to him, assuming it's the intro.

"It's about someone that was in my life, uh someone you don't know- she came around afterward", he says slowly, not meeting my eyes through the screen. I just nod in agreement, opening my mouth to speak.

"Would you like to come over for dinner sometime this week?", The words flow out before I had time to think about it. As I wait for his response, I pick at my nails- a habit he absolutely hated. He would smack my hand out of my mouth every chance we were together, telling me "I'd get worms in my belly" I did stop for a while, but my bitten nails were the only reminder he was actually gone.

"Yeah, I would love to!- Look I'll let you go but we'll keep in touch alright?", He speaks quickly, his hand flying down in one swift movement. With that, he ends the FaceTime call and I'm left looking at my reflection. I looked dumbfounded, smiling to myself as wide as I could.

I couldn't let myself fall for this again, for him- we both knew it wasn't going to end well for either of us. But hell it's been 4 years and I've changed as a person, and by the looks of it, he has too.

My phone buzzed once, twice, and then three before I looked back up at it to see three new messages from none other than Hood.

DO NOT CALL!!!!: I kinda lied, you do know the person I wrote it about

DO NOT CALL!!!!: mp3.wildflower.calumdemo.rec

DO NOT CALL!!!!: my wildflower ;)

[calumsargwife]

"You Are In Love"

calum hood x fem!reader

summary: the journey of how you and Calum found out you are in love.

warnings: use of cigarettes and mentions of alcohol, a little bit of bad language (if i let something out let me know!)

word count: 4.7k (damn)

note: well this one is completely based on the song from You Are In Love by Taylor Swift. i know it took a while but here it is, it's the longest i've ever written. i don't know if someone's gonna read this since it's so long but since you guys seemed to like the first one i wrote i decided to post this one. i never wrote something like this, so i hope you like it!! (English is not my first language so there may be some grammatical errors, sorry!)

One look, dark room. Meant just for you. Time moved too fast. You play it back. Light-hearted joke. No proof, not much. But you saw enough.

It was one of the many parties that took place at Ashton's house, people gathering for some reason to celebrate. The man honestly loved being the host, always making sure all of his guests were having a good time. The house was in a homely atmosphere (something Ashton always made sure was there), there was a little alcohol involved but nothing too crazy, the music was just the right volume and it was something everyone could dance to. There was good food and probably some fun board game that would make everyone a little more drunk.

It had all started about an hour ago when Calum decided to show up. It was cold, a November night where despite the weeks in advance, you could already feel the Christmas spirit.

Calum would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous. He was going to see you after the last date you two had. Before knocking on the door of the house, he briefly remembered the last outing that you shared, it was incredible.

After so long Calum had finally dared to confess his feelings for you, one of his best friends in the whole world. And you, who was completely surrendered at the boy's feet, said that you felt the same. You two met five years ago and connected instantly, not knowing how or why but it happened and both of you were so happy, you felt that the time you had with each other was never enough to stop being surprised. Being friends first had given the two of them a kind of comfort like no other.

And that's how it was, in the last few weeks you shared several dates and everything was going great, you already knew each other but with all this that was happening, you learned even more things. Everything was getting more serious and Calum was scared, but he liked it.

Once inside the house, Calum took off his coat and scanned the room looking to meet your eyes, and the moment that happened, he gave you a look that was meant only for you. A look that Calum only saved for when he looked at you. A look that made you blush in the best way.

However, Calum quickly found himself being greeted by his friends. You sighed but didn't complain, you repeated in your mind the moment in which your eyes connected and you couldn't help but feel how your breathing stopped slightly because of those eyes that you had learned to love so much in this last few years.

It all ended up being just a quick glance. The night continued and after a while, you ran into Calum (well, he ran into you). He was wearing a black shirt that accentuated his figure perfectly, you would have loved to take him in your arms at that very moment. He knew that, he had worn this shirt because he knew you would like it.

You met about an hour after Calum had arrived, he was having a good time with his friends but at some point he felt that they were holding him back too much from being able to have a chat with you. 'Who am I kidding?' That was the first thing he thought when he saw you again, Calum had been wanting to talk to you all night. You were turning your back on him while looking at the big city from the balcony of the apartment. You had on a beautiful black silk dress, it left your back bare, something that drove Calum crazy.

"Missing me already?" Calum joked after he finally found you alone "I bet you're getting bored without me." He assured in a teasing tone. He approached you and analyzed you, you were wearing a gold necklace and your nails were painted red, you held a glass with some alcohol. His hand gently brushed your arm and you could feel an electrifying touch that woke up every fiber inside you. You love how he makes you feel.

You rolled your eyes playfully at his very confident statement. "I was getting along pretty well without you, actually." You smiled and looked sincerely into his eyes this time. "I missed you." You could see how his eyes were filled with intrigue at what you had said, waiting for a reconfirmation. "I really did."

Calum smiled sweetly and couldn't help but look away from your beautiful eyes for a second to calm down. He really didn't want to blush right now. "Well, I'm glad. I've been thinking about you all night."

It might seem like a simple thing but it really makes you happy to hear that he thought of you the same way you thought of him. You liked knowing you were on his mind.

Small talk, he drives. Coffee at midnight. The light reflects. The chain on your neck. He says, "Look up". And your shoulders brush. No proof, one touch. But you felt enough.

Of course your night didn't end there. Calum proposed that you spend the night at his house and you immediately said yes. The truth is that the time you had spent at the party had not been enough for you two.

You felt a kind of excitement as Calum drove home. You guys weren't talking much in the car, the background music set the mood perfectly and you didn't need anything to talk about either. Small talk was enough to keep you entertained along the way.

Once at Calum's house, you guys set about relaxing. Still formally dressed, you were sitting in the chair that Calum had located on the terrace of his apartment. A perfect place to look at the stars.

Two cups of coffee at midnight, one for you and one for Calum. Drinking coffee gives you the little hope that you could stay up longer just to spend more time together, because it wasn't enough, it was never enough. You two loved to talk, you always had something to talk about and it never got boring. Maybe at some point you didn't have a topic of conversation, but you guys invented something so you could have an excuse to be together. Because it wasn't enough. Calum didn't know how to explain this insatiable feeling of wanting to always be chatting with you, something that really surprised him since he was normally a person who enjoyed silence.

You smiled sweetly at something Calum had said and looked away from him so you could look at your phone for a few seconds to see the time. It was half past twelve at night, already entering the early morning. You smiled to yourself at the feeling of being calm with the boy you liked.

You were wearing a gold chain with a 'C' charm on it, a cheesy and stupid gift Calum had given you for your birthday a couple of years ago. He could appreciate how it shone in the moonlight.

Speaking of the moon, Calum realized that it was at its highest point. He looked at you and spoke to you softly, since you were still looking at your cell phone. He said "Look up" and you immediately looked up from your device. You settled into the chair with the cup of coffee in your hand and you felt how his shoulder lightly brushed against yours.

And that was it. That was enough to know what you felt.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you.

Calum was fully focused on the moon, leaving you a perfect view of his profile. The place was silent and you could still clearly hear the feeling that you now knew you had. You were afraid of being stunned by this, but actually, the opposite happened, it was all you wanted to hear.

It was so clear, so loud and so strong. You felt a pressure in your chest, that pressure was just letting you know that what you were feeling was actually true. Your insides were full of heartwarming thoughts in just a second, but you loved every single second of it.

The fact that the place was completely silent and that Calum had no idea what you were thinking about added a bit of fun to all this, if only he knew.

You were completely immersed in this new sensation, which was leaving you completely cut off from all the other things that might be going on around you.

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You returned home only the next day in the afternoon, the sky was beginning to darken. After a little argument about Calum wanting to take you home and you saying it wasn't necessary, you were finally making your way home on your own. You wanted to get some air and think about what had been revealed to you last night.

As you walked home you could feel the refreshing air in your hair and in your arms. You clung a little more to Calum's sweatshirt.

And that pressure in your chest came back. You've never liked a sensation so much. You couldn't help but smile in love as you looked at the scenery around you. The night was beginning for some.

You loved him. You loved Calum. You love him.

You just couldn't believe it. The idea of falling in love for you was something that was long gone and not something you expected to find again. You especially didn't expect to fall in love with Calum.

But at the same time you were not surprised. Loving Calum was so easy, he was just perfect. You couldn't not love him. He made it look so easy. And you loved loving him, it was something that just filled you up inside and you were so happy that the person you love is Calum.

You continued walking down what would soon be a dark street. Focusing on the sound of your shoes or how the things you found on the way home reminded you of him. Everything reminded you of him.

You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love. You are in love.

Once you got home you closed the front door and leaned your back against it. You sighed while smiling. The whole room was dark, the lights still not on.

In one of the furniture where you had photos with your friends you came to distinguish your favorite photo of the whole house. It was a photo of you and Calum hugging in front of the stage where he and the boys were going to give their show later. There were hours left for the concert and you took advantage of the moment to take pictures. You smiled to yourself remembering.

God, you are in love.

Morning, his place. Burnt toast, Sunday. You keep his shirt. He keeps his word.

It was a Sunday morning at Calum's house. The night before for the two of you had been magical. The two of you hadn't felt this connection with someone in a long time and you knew it.

You were lying on the bed, giving each other lazy kisses on the lips, on the neck, on the cheeks, on the arms, everywhere. Calum wanted to kiss every inch of you.

Calum sighed and moved slightly away from you. "I'm gonna make us breakfast, okay?" He said to then give you one last kiss on the cheek while inhaling your sweet perfume.

"Okay" You replied with a goofy smile as you watched him go to the kitchen.

A little later you stretched one last time and got out of bed too, looking for something to wear. You looked at one of the shirts Calum wears to train, you decided on a navy blue one.

As you walked to the kitchen you remembered what Calum had told you before you guys fell asleep. "I'll be here in the morning." And he kept his word, he was there. You looked at him before entering the kitchen, he was making coffee and toast for the two of you.

"The coffee smells good." You said as you walk into the kitchen. Brushing his arm with your hand when you passed by.

"I hope it tastes just as good as it smells." He answered with a smile without turning to look at you yet, taking another slice of bread to toast.

You chuckled softly, remembering the times Calum had been disappointed in how his own coffee turned out.

At the sound of your laughter Calum turned and looked at you. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of you in his shirt, admiring how well it looked on you. He would be lying if he said he doesn't want that to be his sight every morning. He loved having you in all his everyday things.

"That color suits you." He said admiring you while he wrapped his arms around your waist and left you a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you." You answered while looking away so that your blush is not so obvious.

Calum chuckled very softly, keeping the smile on his face. He tucked one of the hairs that was on your face behind your ear and that made you turn your head to look at him.

Calum couldn't help but get completely lost in your eyes, it was something that completely mesmerized him and he knew it, he always knew it. From the moment he met you, your eyes were what he liked the most about you.

You were also completely lost by him, admiring the details of his face, seeing how there was a slight beard on his jaw, something that you knew he was going to shave later. You analyzed the small freckles around his nose, they had appeared after spending a day in the sun at the beach with his friends.

Then you raised your eyes to his and they stayed that way, looking at each other. Calum absolutely watching every move you made, admiring everything.

You don't know how long you stayed like that until you could smell the burnt smell of toast and Calum's scared face, who broke away from you in a second and immediately went to see the toaster.

A moment later he turned around and looked at you with a pout. "They burned."

Let out a laugh and you approached to give him a kiss on his pout. "We can make pancakes." You proposed with a sweet smile.

Calum smiled, completely melting at your smile. "We can, but none of those cute little eyes of yours when I'm cooking. I don't want burnt pancakes."

And for once, you let go. Of your fears and your ghosts. One step, not much. But it said enough.

Today was the day. 5 Seconds of Summer would release a new song. One that Calum personally wrote. And to say that the boy was nervous was an understatement.

He was feeling very scared for some reason. He didn't understand why. This song was beautiful and he was very proud of it, it was also an extremely vulnerable song that had taken him months to write, he was afraid of looking too fragile in the public eye and that people might not like it.

To be honest, it's a song he wrote for you, although he doesn't know if you were aware of this. The song talked about what it was like to let someone into your heart again and how scared he was to suffer again and to let go of all those ghosts from the past that haunt him.

God, he was nervous.

The boys had proposed to meet up for the launch, but Calum declined, declaring that this time he'd rather stay at his house with you by his side.

You two were sitting on the terrace of Calum's house. He was smoking a cigarette for the nerves and you were having some vanilla tea (it was your favorite and Calum had bought it especially for you). His leg was bobbing up and down as a sign of his current anxiety. You put your hand on his thigh wanting him to stop and you looked at him with a little tenderness.

"Cal, what's going on? You've been very nervous for the last few hours." My God, Calum hated how well you could read him.

He never talks about this, with anyone. Talking about his feelings is something he struggles with a lot, always in the end transforming what happens to him into songs. But Calum knew that talking about this with you was the right thing to do, knowing that if he wants to be with you then he has to start trusting you with these kinds of things.

"It's just... It's been a while since I wrote something like that, y'know... I know I always write about past experiences but this song is about the two of us and I don't know..." Calum sighed trying to collect his thoughts. "I guess I'm afraid of looking weak in front of everyone, I guess, I don't know..." It made him angry that he couldn't tell you exactly what he was thinking, he didn't know what he was feeling at that moment.

"Calum, the song you wrote is great, it's vulnerable, yes, but that makes it even more meaningful. I think that's going to make people like it more, you know?" You caressed his leg in search of being able to give him comfort.

"I know, I know..." Calum prepared himself for what he was going to say, it seemed to him something very stupid and meaningless but he knew it was necessary. He took another drag on his cigarette and turned so he could look you in the eye. "I think it scares me that once you know how I really feel you're going to run from me." He explained with a slightly shaky voice.

You couldn't help feeling how your heart softened for him. You brought your hand to his cheek and he leaned into it. You felt him visibly relax at your touch. "That's not gonna happen and you know it, right?"

He nodded as he studied your face with those sweet brown eyes of his. Calum didn't tell you but he really felt a weight less on his shoulders. He could feel how he was getting closer and closer to a certain feeling that he had been avoiding for a long time.

"I don't want to write a heartbroken song about you."

You kiss on sidewalks. You fight and you talk.

Calum loved walking with you down the street. Unlike his past relationships, this time he was not afraid to go out with you and show how much he liked you, he is not ashamed and wants to show the world who he's with.

But at the same time he wants to protect you, he doesn't like how public his life can be sometimes. He liked the feeling of his hands rubbing against yours when you are walking down a street with a lot of people, he liked having something just for him and that no one else can take it away from him.

His favorite part is when you're finally on some empty sidewalk and he can finally kiss you freely, he's dying to kiss you anywhere, but he knows that if he wants everything to remain as private as it is now, then he has to take certain precautions.

However, this has brought several discussions in the relationship.

"Why are you so angry?" Calum asked once he closed the door to his apartment, you glared at him a few feet from him.

"It annoys me that every time we walk into a room with the least amount of people, you immediately let go of my hand as if I were some kind of plague!" You knew why Calum was doing it but at the same time you couldn't help but get frustrated. Sometimes you wish Calum wasn't a public figure.

"I don't treat you like you're a plague! I just want to keep things between us!" Calum was frowning and breathing heavily.

"I understand that you want to have your private life but sometimes I feel that you exceed yourself! You don't want anyone to see us at all and it's tiring me!" You felt like a fool wanting to cry about this, but you couldn't help but make your eyes go glassy with anguish.

Calum sighed before answering, thinking about what he was going to tell you. The other day you guys had a fight over the exact same issue before going into a party. "If you know why I do it then why are you angry?!" He yelled at you, feeling how anger began to enter his body.

"Because sometimes it seems like you're ashamed of me!" You angrily yelled at him all your frustrations, trying to make him understand.

"You know that's not how I feel." He stated with a rather serious tone, you've never heard him talk like that.

"I would know how you feel if you would just tell me!" You are not going to deny that you felt a weight less after saying that. Calum always had trouble expressing his feelings but with such crucial things it was important that he tell you.

He clenched his jaw. "Are you always going to reproach me for the same thing? You know it's something I'm working on! It's not easy and yet you keep insisting!" Calum ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Of course I'm going to keep insisting if I don't see any change! It's always the same, I have to pressure you to tell me what's wrong with you and I don't want it to be like that anymore." You ran your hand under your eyeliner to wipe away a stubborn tear that had escaped. "I feel that you don't trust me to tell me your things and I don't know what I have to do anymore..." Now your face was covered by tears in a matter of seconds.

Calum completely collapsed seeing you cry. He quickly approached you and took your head in his hands to kiss your hair and then snuggle you against his chest. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you're right, sorry." He gave you small kisses on the temple in search of giving you comfort. "I'm sorry, you're right."

One night he wakes. Strange look on his face. Pauses, then says. 'You're my best friend'. And you knew what it was. He is in love.

It was another one of the nights where Calum stayed the night at your house. You two were asleep in your bed, snuggled up to each other, him being that natural warmer that he is.

Calum was lying on your chest, you were cuddling lying on your bed. About an hour ago he had fallen asleep after a tiring day in the studio with the boys. You, on the other hand, weren't sleepy, so you stayed on your phone, fooling around on social media.

Suddenly, you felt how he moved over you and how he began to wake up.

Calum moved off of you to lie next to you, he had a weird look on his face, you were trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Then he looked at you. "You're my best friend."

And you knew, you knew what was happening to him. He was in love. In love with you.

"You're my best friend too, Cal." You smiled sweetly at him and he could feel how he melted, your smiles always killed him in the best way. You put your hand on his jaw and brought him in for a sweet, passionate kiss, making sure it was one that would take his breath away.

"You're going to kill me one day." Calum hid his smile against your arm and blushed. You laughed and stroked his curls tenderly.

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you. You can feel it on the way home, way home, you. You can see it with the lights out, lights out. You are in love, true love.

It was days later where Calum was returning from the studio to his house, he was driving and found himself stuck in traffic. Too distracted thinking about you to be bothered by the number of cars.

You guys hadn't seen each other all week due to your respective jobs and he couldn't miss you more. It was night and not having the lights on inside the car made everything dark, his mind was too busy to put on music, so he enjoyed the silence there was.

Not getting you out of his head, he started humming your favorite song. Giving little taps on the steering wheel to the beat of the music.

And that's when it hit him.

"Oh, shit." Calum stopped everything he was doing to focus on what he was thinking.

He couldn't help but think a 'really?'. Hell, he hadn't felt this in a long time.

Unconsciously his heart began to race. His head was going a thousand an hour and the only thing that appeared in his mind was your name.

He couldn't believe what he was feeling. A kind of pressure settled in his chest and he loved it. Calum couldn't help but smile as he ran his hands over his face and tried to hide the smile he had, even though no one was there to see it.

"I love her. I fucking love her." Calum declared as he looked out the window, the car in silence after his confession. He felt himself blushing even though no one had told him anything and how he had an incredible desire to see you.

And for the first time in his entire life, after so many broken hearts and failed relationships, Calum wasn't afraid to love. He didn't feel that irreparable fear that something was going to go wrong, he felt love, true love.

He used to be scared, so, so scared. Fear that leaving another relationship will leave him completely destroyed and without any hope of ever being loved again. Calum always had that feeling that perhaps he was destined to be alone, believing that this had been proven after so many situations in his past.

But everything changed when you arrived. From the first moment your eyes met, he knew that you had come to change his life. You became the light of his life in just a second and that scared him at first. But he didn't care, he thought if he had to have his heart broken for you then so be it. However, now he knew that it would not be like that, you were not going to leave and he knew that you were going to take care of his heart perfectly like no one had ever done before.

Calum was sure you were meant to be together.

Because he was in love.

And he wanted to believe in love for once.

[alisonsfics]

roommate’s best friend part two

pairing: calum hood x ashton’sroommate!reader

summary: after your make out session with calum was interrupted by ashton, you were both very excited to spend more time together at a 5sos gig. (part one)

word count: 2.7k

warnings: unprotected sex, public-ish sex (it’s backstage), tiny praise kink, minors DNI

You were planning to see Calum tonight for the first time after your little make out that was interrupted by Ashton.

You both had planned to have a little date night at Calum’s apartment, where you couldn’t be interrupted by Ashton. Before you could leave, you and Ashton had a plumbing emergency that kept you both at your apartment.

When you called to tell Calum that you couldn’t make it, he practically begged you to let him sneak over just to be with you for a little bit. You knew it would just end with Ashton accidentally seeing something he shouldn’t, and you couldn’t handle that embarrassment again.

Calum and Ashton had both invited you to a gig that the band was having tonight, so you would finally get to see Calum.

You were in the middle of picking out your outfit, obviously wanting to look nice to impress Calum.

“Oh, is somebody getting ready to see her boyfriend tonight?” Ashton teased you from your open doorway. You turned to face him and saw the smirk on his face. “C’mon, Ash, we can’t just be adults?” You pleaded. He chuckled and shook his head. “I caught you hooking up with my best friend. It’s a perfect opportunity for teasing, I can’t waste it.” He told you.

Ashton stepped towards you and held out a lanyard. “Wear this and security will let you in tonight. I’m about to head out, I’ll see you later.” He told you. You took the lanyard from him and said goodbye to him.

A few hours later, you were on your way to the concert, and you had butterflies in your stomach as you thought about seeing Calum.

You had picked out some leather pants and a red lace top that you were hoping Calum would like.

You got to the venue and security let you in quickly after seeing your badge. A security guard led you back to where the guys were hanging out. “They were in the lounge last time I checked, but if they’re not there, I’ll bring you to their dressing rooms.” The security guard told you.

You approached the room and saw a few couches sprawled around the room and a minibar against the wall.

You saw someone sitting on the couch on their phone. You recognized him as Luke from Ashton’s Instagram posts. “Here you go,” the security guard said, gesturing towards the room and then leaving.

“Hi, I’m Luke,” he said, jumping up to greet you. You quickly shook his hand and introduced yourself to him.

“Ashton just ran to the bathroom, he’ll be back soon.” Luke informed you. You nodded your head. “I’m really excited to see the show tonight. I got to go to one of your shows before, and I had a great time.” You told him.

“Oh thank you, yeah tonight should be good.” He agreed. You both heard footsteps and turned to see Calum walk into the room.

His eyes scanned over your outfit slowly, taking it all in. “Hi, there,” he said, softly. You gave him a smile as he walked over to you. “C’mon, Cal, give her a hug.” Luke said, teasing Calum for how stunned and speechless he was.

You giggled at Calum’s flustered expression. “Wait, but how do you—” Calum started to ask Luke.

“You really think Ashton was able to keep you guys and your thing a secret?” Luke said, chuckling.

Luke made sure not to stare so he wouldn’t make you both uncomfortable. “Hi,” you said, softly. He stepped closer to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “You look beautiful.” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your temple.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding onto him tightly. The scent of his cologne filled your lungs. You both pulled away, not knowing what to say to each other with Luke in the room.

“So, you two met already?” Calum asked, gesturing towards you and Luke. You both nodded. Then, Ashton and Michael walked in the room.

“Hey,” Ashton said, smiling once he saw you. He walked over and gave you a hug. He turned around to gesture towards Michael and introduced the two of you.

You noticed Ashton walking over to Calum, probably to tease him in some way, so you started talking to Luke and Michael. You were telling them about the first show of theirs you had gone to.

You were trying your best to make a good first impression, considering you’d probably be spending a lot more time with them.

You felt Calum’s hand slip around your waist, and he brought his lips to your ear. “Can I get you a drink?” He whispered in your ear, keeping his tight grip on your hip. You nodded your head, “yes please,” you said.

He walked away to get you a drink. Ashton joined your group and was smirking at you. “Don’t you even,” you said, stopping him before he could make a comment.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Ashton lied through his teeth. Luke and Michael chuckled at his horrible poker face. “I’m trying to make a nice first impression with your friends, and you just can’t stop yourself.” You said.

“You made a pretty good first impression with Calum,” Michael muttered under his breath, trying not to laugh. You were too stunned to speak. You sat there with your mouth open as the three of them started cracking up. “All three of you now?” You asked.

Calum appeared at your side with two drinks, handing one to you. “Yeah, she did make a pretty good impression, y’know until Ashton ruined it.” Calum said, winking at you.

You slipped your arm around Calum’s back and leaned into him. “You both are pretty cute together actually” Ashton said, making your cheeks heat up.

“Hey guys, you got like five minutes til you need to be on stage.” Someone said, as they walked in the room. You looked over your shoulder and saw someone who looked like their manager.

“C’mon,” Calum said, interlacing your fingers and pulling you behind him. You followed him to the side of the stage. You both set down your drinks and one of the crew members handed Calum his bass.

You gave Calum a kiss on the cheek. “Have a good show,” you told him. He thanked you and gave your hand a quick squeeze. The other three guys started to walk on stage, but Calum stopped.

He held up two fingers and beckoned you closer to him. He quickly cupped your face and kissed you. You were surprised by the kiss, but kissed him back.

“Gotta get my good luck kiss,” he said, before running out on stage.

You got to watch the whole show from the side of stage and had the best time. Calum even looked over at you a few times and winked at you once.

As the show ended, you cheered for the guys, and they took their bow. The guys filed off the stage past you, giving you high-fives as they went by.

Calum came off the stage last with a giant smile on his face. He handed off his bass and then grabbed your hand. He started pulling you down the hallway.

“Calum, where are we going?” You asked him. He didn’t answer your question, but continued pulling you behind him. You both got to his dressing room door and he pushed the door open.

Before you knew it, he had pulled you both inside and closed the door. He pinned you to the back of the door. “You remember when we talked about you fucking that bassist in his dressing room?” He asked you, his mouth almost pressed up to your ear.

You nodded your head. “Yeah, I remember,” you said, breathlessly. Calum’s entire chest was pressed up against you, and you were finding it hard to focus.

“Well that bassist really likes your outfit and got really turned on seeing you on the side of the stage, so if you were still okay with that plan,” he said, practically growling.

“Yes, yes, just touch me, Cal,” you begged him. As soon as the words left your mouth, Calum’s lips were on yours. His lips moved quickly against yours.

He grabbed at the back of your thighs and picked you up against the door. “No one to interrupt us this time,” he said, smirking against your lips.

You raked your fingers through his hair, causing him to groan. He planted his lips on the side of your neck and started slowly sucking on your skin.

You tried to silence the moan that fell from your lips. “Don’t hold back, let me hear you.” He coached you.

He pulled you away from the door and laid you down on the couch. “You look so gorgeous,” he said, in awe as he looked at you.

You pulled him towards you and tugged at the bottom of his shirt. He quickly pulled it over his head and threw it to the side. “C’mere, rockstar, can’t wait,” you said, pulling Calum on top of you. Hearing you call him “rockstar” turned Calum on more than he would ever admit.

His hands slipped under your shirt and traced your sides, caressing your skin. “Help me take it off,” you said, putting your hands up and allowing Calum to pull your shirt up over your head.

“So gorgeous,” he mumbled as he quickly got rid of both of your pants. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist. You cupped his face and kissed him hard.

Having Calum’s hands on you made you feel like your skin was on fire in the best way. A moan slipped out of you as Calum rocked his hips against yours. “Please, Cal,” you begged.

“Please what, sweetheart?” He asked, placing kisses along your jaw. You groaned, twisting his hair around your fingers.

“Please, fuck me,” you told him.

He pulled down your panties and carelessly threw them to the side. “You know that when Ashton showed us a picture of his roommate, I think I fell in love with you right then, most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen.” He told you, placing a kiss to your forehead.

“You look so hot on top of me, like this.” You said, as he slipped out of his boxers.

He grabbed your hips with his large hands to steady himself. “You ready?” He asked, meeting your gaze. You nodded your head quickly.

He slowly pushed his length into you. You clawed at his back as you adjusted to his size. He stayed still, buried inside you, for a while. He peppered soft kisses on your shoulder as he waited for you.

“Keep going, I’m okay,” you assured him. With one final kiss on your lips, he pulled himself out and started thrusting into you.

Calum’s eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as his hips hit against yours. You let your eyes roll back as you grabbed at the couch, desperate to find something to hold on to.

“Here,” Calum said, grabbing both your hands and pinning them above your head. You let out a whimper as you felt the strong grip of his hand on your wrists.

“Let me do all the work, just focus on feeling good,” he instructed you. He placed sloppy, wet kisses down your chest, using his free hand to caress your breast.

“So good, Cal. Just like I imagined,” you mumbled, your eyes still shut. You noticed a break in Calum’s rhythm. You opened your eyes and noticed he was just looking at you as he continued to push his hips into yours.

“You were imagining this, baby?” He asked you, curiously. You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, both from the pet name he’d just used and what you had just admitted.

“Don’t be embarrassed, what were you thinking about?” He asked, turned on by the possibility of your fantasies. You hid your face in the crook of his neck. He peppered kisses all around your face, hoping to get you to open up.

It was ironic. His cock was deep inside you, but you could barely bring yourself to meet his gaze.

“I saw pictures you posted from tour, and I thought about what it’d be like to go on tour with you. We’d travel around together, and I’d know all the fans you met were imagining you the way that only I would get to see you. And I thought about what it’d be like to ride you.” You confessed.

A groan fell from Calum’s lips after hearing the words leave your mouth. “That’s really hot, gorgeous.” He told you, moving his grip to your hips.

He reached deeper inside of you and hit your g-spot. “Oh, fuck, Calum,” you moaned.

“Y’know, we could make those fantasies happen if you want. We could at least do that last one tonight.” He told you, making your cheeks heat up even more.

“C’mere, honey,” he said, holding onto you and sitting up so you were straddling him.

He kissed you to make you more comfortable. “I’ll help you,” he mumbled against your lips. He grabbed your hips and lifted you up. You started rolling your hips against his.

“Oh, fuck, baby. You look so good on top of me.” He moaned, throwing his head back. He pushed his hips forward, meeting yours halfway.

Your thrusts started to become more rushed as you got closer to your high. “I’m almost there, Cal,” you mumbled, grabbing his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Me too, baby,” he told you. You both quickened your pace. You arched your back as you started to feel it approaching. You both were breathing heavily.

You were mesmerized watching how quickly Calum’s chest was rising and falling.

“Oh, fuck, Calum,” you called out, as your orgasm hit you. He wasn’t far behind you. “Oh, shit,” he mumbled, his thrusts beginning to falter.

He slowed down his pace, slowly thrusting up into you to help you both come down from your highs.

You collapsed against his chest, resting your head on his shoulder. “That was amazing,” you mumbled against his skin. He chuckled at your exhaustion. “You did amazing, baby,” he said, kissing the side of your neck.

He ran his fingers up and down your back as you caught your breath.

Once you finally got up, you both got dressed again and headed to Ashton’s dressing room, where Calum was told the guys were hanging out.

“Look who finally decided to join us,” Michael said, smirking at Calum as you both entered the room. All three guys were in the room, along with their significant others. Luke handed both you and Calum a drink.

“You both finally sort out that sexual tension?” Ashton asked, causing you to choke on your drink. Your eyes darted to Calum for help.

He leaned in to whisper in your ear, “I may have left you a little present on accident,” referencing the hickey on your neck.

“Calum,” you whined, dragging out his name and trying to cover your neck with your hand. This earned a chuckle from the group.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling you into his chest and wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“I’m going to have so much fun teasing the two of you,” Ashton said, chuckling to himself.

“Don’t worry, we won’t all be teasing you. Not yet, at least” Luke promised you both. You let out a small giggle. “That felt a lot less comforting than I think it was intended to be.” You replied, earning a laugh from Calum.

He slipped his hand in the back pocket of your pants, keeping you next to him.

“So, Ashton mentioned that you guys were planning to set us up anyway. How was that going to go down?” You asked, curiously.

“Well the girls had to talk down Ashton because he was ready to steal Calum’s phone and send you some raunchy messages, and Calum would have killed him. Michael and I suggested a blind date, but Ashton wasn’t going to settle for that. He suggested that we lock you both in a room together and just wait it out.” Luke explained to you.

“Your great matchmaking plan was to hold us hostage?” Calum asked Ashton, exasperated.

“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me it wouldn’t work, neither of you can keep your hands off each other.” Ashton argued.

“That’s true.” Calum said, smiling down at you.

taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @azghedaheda @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @guacam011y @sw33t-cupid @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @nyx2021 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @shyconversationalbookworm @shadowhuntyi @visenyaverse @ruzannetheseahorse @superdeath @wandaswifeyforlifey @spookyqueen @mcuswhore @bookwormchick91 @princess-evans-addict @n3ssm0nique @peakascum @cjand10 @namsey1987 @multitargaryen @stephv213 @impossibleapricotlampbat @lickmymelaninn @holding-on-to-my-youth @spiderstyles04 @ahoodgirl

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!

[blckstarcal]

Masked Regret

MDNI!!!!

pairing: luke hemmings x reader

summary: after going MIA for a few days, luke shows up at you and your best friend michael’s shared apartment on halloween, desperate to make amends.

warnings: smut, overstimulation, toy usage, slight knife play, blink and you’ll miss it hint of a slightly toxic relationship

word count: 4.6k

a/n: Okkkkayyyyy, so I saw someone request a Ghostface Luke fic somewhere and it got me thinking. Originally, I wrote this with an OC from a fic i’m working on, but ended up switching to an x reader format. This is my first post here on Tumblr, so bear with me if it’s a little wonky or if I make any mistakes. I also edited this myself, so if you catch anything I missed, please let me know!

anyway, this is for c(l)ocking the 5sos, especially alayna and ems. OKAY BYE BYE NOW.

Copyright © 2024 blckstarcal. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You sat slouched on the couch of your shared apartment with Michael, mindlessly scrolling through Netflix in a futile attempt to find something that could distract you from Luke’s absence. No matter how hard you tried, your focus kept slipping.

Michael had begged you to come with him to a Halloween party earlier, but you’d refused. Not for the first time, you had turned down something you would have enjoyed—all because of Luke.

Your gaze drifted to the phone on the coffee table, the absence of notifications glaring back at you like a silent taunt. You forced your eyes back to the TV, but your thoughts refused to cooperate. Three days. It had been three days since he disappeared without a word. He’d promised to spend Halloween with you, yet he hadn’t shown.

The creeping fear you always tried to suppress began to rise. It was the same fear that gripped you whenever Luke disappeared, leaving you in the dark without so much as a message to say he was okay. You hated how easily it consumed you, how it made you question what you even meant to him. Were you really his girlfriend? Or just a convenience?

Before the spiral could go any deeper, your phone buzzed sharply, its ringtone breaking the heavy silence. You nearly launched yourself off the couch, scrambling to grab the device, only to fumble it in your haste. The phone skittered across the table, but you snatched it up, heart racing as you answered.

Luke’s name flashed on the screen.

Your heart leapt, but you forced your tone to remain steady as you answered. “Was starting to think you were the victim of a bad horror movie,” You mused, your fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on your pajama pants while you awaited his response.

The line crackled with his heavy, slightly muffled breathing before he finally spoke. “So,” he began, drawing out the word, his tone laced with cocky amusement. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Your brow furrowed at his breathy voice, noticeably deeper than usual. “Yeah,” You replied, the confusion in your tone clear. “It’s you, dummy.”

A low chuckle rumbled through the speaker, sending a shiver down your spine. “Open your door, Y/ N,” Luke drawled, his voice dripping with something dark and teasing. “You’re looking… lonely.”

You froze, pulse quickening. “What the hell has gotten into you?” You asked, scrambling off the couch and padding cautiously toward the door. “You can’t see inside.”

Your hand hovered over the handle, thoughts racing.

Luke didn’t answer, offering only a low chuckle from the other side of the door. Irritation bubbled in your chest as you gripped the doorknob, mentally rehearsing a speech about the importance of communication. With a sharp exhale, you flung the door open, ready to confront him—only to freeze mid-breath.

You let out a loud gasp, any annoyance momentarily forgotten.

Luke stood there, leaning casually against your doorway, dressed head to toe in a Ghostface costume. The dark fabric clung to his broad shoulders, the mask in place, giving him an eerie, almost theatrical presence. Your eyebrows shot up as your eyes swept over him, caught between surprise and intrigue.

Slowly, with deliberate precision, Luke slid the mask up, revealing his face. Your breath hitched at the sight of him. His hair was artfully messy, most likely due to the mask. His pupils were wide and dark, the dim light catching the sharp gleam of his lip ring as it contrasted against the soft pink of his slightly parted lips.

A lazy, knowing smile spread across his face, one corner of his mouth quirking up just enough to send a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t help the way your lips parted in response, your gaze lingering on him longer than you intended.

“Happy Halloween,” he drawled, hanging up the phone his voice low and smooth, as if he had no idea—or perhaps full knowledge—of the effect he was having on you.

“Happy Halloween?” You echoed, anger surging through you as you stepped aside enough to let Luke inside. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Luke didn’t waste any time, grabbing your face in his gloved hands and pressing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. Even though you were mad, more than mad, the feeling of his lips against yours was enough to send a shiver down your spine, your hands instinctively intertwining behind his neck.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, his voice low and earnest as he kissed along your jawline. His hands moved to your waist, effortlessly lifting you onto the breakfast island near the door. His lips trailed down the sensitive column of your neck, licking, nipping, and leaving you gasping for air. "Let me make it up to you."

Your eyes fluttered shut as heat pooled in your stomach, but you fought the pull. "No," you sighed, trying to steady your voice. Luke pulled back just enough to fix you with an exaggerated pout.

"I'm mad," you added, your tone unconvincing even to yourself.

Luke rolled his eyes, a teasing smirk tugging at his lips as his hands settled on your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze. "Sure you are," he murmured, his voice laced with amusement. Slowly, his hand slid beneath the hem of your shirt.

The rough texture of his gloved fingers against you soft skin made your breath hitch, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine despite your resolve to stay annoyed.

“I’m serious,” You insisted, your frown deepening. You hated how easily your body betrayed you, responding to Luke’s touch despite the simmering anger still coursing through you.

“So am I,” Luke replied, flashing that infuriatingly charming lopsided grin—the one that made your stomach flip no matter how mad you wanted to be. “And I really want to make it up to you.”

You let out an exasperated groan, your hand hesitating before tracing the line of his stubbled jaw. The contrast of roughness against your fingertips sent a shiver down your spine. “I want to stay mad at you,” You murmured, though your voice softened, betraying your resolve.

“Then stay mad,” Luke teased, his voice dropping lower as he leaned in to nip at your earlobe. His breath was warm against your skin, making your heart race. “It’ll make it more fun. Please, baby, I missed you.”

Your resolve crumbled further at the sincerity in his tone, your anger quickly being replaced by something softer. “I can’t be mad when you look at me like that,” you grumbled, your eyes fluttering closed as the heat of his lips against your neck made your breath hitch.

You felt him grin against your skin. "Good thing I brought a mask, then," he whispered huskily. With a teasing laugh, he pulled back just enough to capture your lips in a searing kiss. It was harsh, needy, his teeth grazing your lower lip as his hands roamed up your thighs, igniting a trail of fire with every touch.

Abruptly, Luke pulled away, leaving you breathless. Sliding the Ghostface mask back over his face, he tilted his head, the eerie blankness of the mask only adding to the tension.

Your breathing quickened as you stared at him, the stark white mask concealing his face but doing nothing to hide the magnetic pull between them. The faintest shiver of excitement coursed through you at the sight, anticipation thrumming in your veins.

Without a word, Luke swept you off the counter, eliciting a soft yelp of surprise. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms clinging to his shoulders as he carried you to the bedroom.

Luke dropped you onto the bed with little ceremony, his posture dominating as he loomed over you. Tilting his head again, he studied you intently, his breathing heavy. You could feel the tension in the air, thick and charged.

"Strip," he commanded, his voice muffled but firm behind the mask. Your eyes widened in surprise as he pulled a small compact knife from his pocket. He brought the tip of the blade to your jawline, dragging it lightly along her skin without breaking it.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, his tone softer now, almost breathless.

You swallowed thickly, your heart pounding in your chest. You knew Luke would never hurt you—he would rather die than see you in harm's way—but the adrenaline coursing through your veins only heightened your excitement. Slowly, you nodded.

Your hands moved on instinct, crossing your arms to grip the hem of your shirt. With one swift movement, you pulled it over your head, tossing it aside. You could feel Luke's gaze on you even through the mask, his presence heavy and electrifying.

Reaching behind you, you unclasped your bra, letting it slip down your arms and onto the bed. The cool air brushed your bare skin, making you shiver as you waited, your breath hitching in anticipation of what he’d do next.

Slowly, Luke dragged the tip of the knife along your skin, never pressing hard enough to break it. The cool, faintly ticklish sensation sent a cascade of goosebumps down your arms. When the blade traced lazy circles around your nipple, your breath hitched, your body responding to his calculated movements.

"Take off your pants," he commanded, his voice low and steady behind the mask.

"Leave the panties on."

You nodded, fingers fumbling slightly as you shimmied out of your pajama pants. The intensity of his gaze—or what you imagined was his gaze behind the mask—kept you on edge, anticipation crackling in the air between the two of you.

Without saying a word, Luke pushed you back onto the mattress, his hands firm yet careful. Then, with deliberate slowness, he turned and began rummaging through your bedside drawer.

Your stomach fluttered as you realized exactly what he was looking for. Your throat went dry as he pulled out your vibrator—a bright pink wand you’d grown far too accustomed to during Luke's recent absence.

Your cheeks flushed with a mix of embarrassment and excitement, pulse quickening as his grip tightened around the toy. "Looks like you've been keeping busy," he murmured, his tone tinged with amusement as he tilted his head. The mask obscured his face, but you could imagine the smug grin beneath it.

You swallowed hard, your voice barely above a whisper. "Someone had to pick up the slack."

Luke chuckled darkly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine.

"Oh, I plan to make up for it. But first..." Luke clicked the vibrator on, the low hum slicing through the quiet tension of the room as he stepped closer. "Let's see how well you've been taking care of yourself."

Instead of removing your underwear, he pressed the vibrator directly against your clothed clit. The sensation was immediate, sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

You arched your back, a gasp tumbling from your lips as your thighs trembled involuntarily.

Even with the thin barrier of your panties, the vibrations were overwhelming. Luke stood silently, watching your every reaction, the anonymity of the mask amplifying the heat between you two .

Your breath hitched as you glanced at him, the stark white of the mask hiding his expression, but you didn't miss the way his free hand slid down to rub against the growing strain in his pants. The sight sent another wave of desire crashing through you.

"I'm so sorry, baby," Luke murmured, his voice dripping with guilt and heat as he pressed the vibrator more firmly against you.

He leaned over you, bracing himself with one hand on the headboard while the other held the toy steady against your soaked panties.

"Sorry I left you all alone to take care of yourself. Bet you're so needy for my cock, aren't you?"

You let out a strangled moan, your hips bucking instinctively against the relentless vibrations.

"Yes," You whimpered, your voice trembling. Your head tilted back as waves of pleasure coursed through you, thighs shaking uncontrollably. You gripped the bed covers like a lifeline, your fingernails digging into the fabric as your body tensed.

The wetness soaking through your underwear made it impossible for you to ignore how close you were. Your clit throbbed, oversensitized but still chasing the high that was just out of reach. The familiar burn of your orgasm built steadily in your core, your breaths coming in sharp gasps.

Luke watched you intently, his masked head tilted in mock curiosity. The tension in his body was palpable, his free hand twitching as though resisting the urge to touch you further.

You couldn't take it anymore. Your hand shot up to remove the mask, desperate to see the expression on his face, to connect with him beyond the teasing. But Luke caught your wrist with lightning speed, his gloved fingers wrapping tightly around your arm.

"Ah, ah," he tutted, a playful edge to his voice. "You hate me, remember? Let me make it up to you without ruining the fun. No need to see my infuriating face."

Infuriatingly beautiful, you thought to yourself, biting back the words. Your breath hitched as the vibrations pushed you closer to the brink. "Please, Luke," you pleaded, your voice cracking with desperation. "I want to come."

Even though you couldn’t see it, you knew that Luke was smirking under his mask, staring at your squirming body with satisfaction. “Don’t worry, you will,” Luke chuckled. “But let me enjoy my apology, too.”

Luke's gloved hand slid down to your chest, gripping your soft flesh with a possessive hunger. His fingers kneaded your breast before pinching your hardened nipple between his thumb and forefinger, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your already oversensitized body. The sensations were overwhelming, and you let out a breathless gasp, your chest heaving as you struggled to hold yourself together.

"I'm so sorry," Luke murmured again, his voice a low rasp that seemed to reverberate through you. The apology was a trigger, pushing you completely over the edge. Your body tensed, and you came with a sharp, breathless cry, your eyes squeezing shut so tightly you feared you’d never open them again. Your back arched off the bed as waves of pleasure wracked your body, leaving you trembling and gasping for air.

Your hand instinctively reached up to grip Luke's forearm, desperate for something to anchor yourself with as the intensity of your orgasm left you shaking uncontrollably.

"That's it," Luke purred, his voice velvety and low, laced with satisfaction. "Good girl." But even as your body fell limp beneath him, the vibrator remained pressed against your clit, the relentless hum prolonging you overstimulation.

You whimpered, your thighs twitching as the sensitivity became almost unbearable. You squirmed beneath him, your breaths shallow and ragged. "Luke-" you gasped, pleading for mercy, but your words were swallowed by another tremor that shook you to your core.

Luke tilted his head, watching you writhe beneath him with a smug satisfaction that even the mask couldn't conceal. "Oh, no, baby," he murmured, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "I don't think l've apologized enough yet."

"Stay still for me," he commanded, his tone soft but firm as he reached for the knife he had discarded on the nightstand. The metallic click echoed in the room as he flipped it open, the gleam of the blade catching the dim light. He dragged it lightly across your skin, pressing just enough to leave faint red marks in its wake but never breaking the surface. The deliberate slowness of his movements made your core pulse with aching anticipation.

“Luke, please,” you whimpered, your voice trembling as unshed tears blurred your vision. The tension in your stomach coiled tighter, heat spreading through your body like wildfire. “I’m so close—please—”

Just as you neared the edge, Luke lifted the vibrator from your clit, drawing a sharp, desperate cry of protest from your lips.

"I'm making this up to you, pretty girl," he said in a low, intoxicating tone, his voice laced with an almost possessive intensity. "Every second you were left alone, I'll make up for. I promise."

Your breath hitched, your chest rising and

falling as your trembling hands gripped the sheets. You nodded eagerly, your mind clouded with desire, barely able to form coherent thoughts.

Luke's gloved fingers trailed down your flushed skin, his touch featherlight yet electrifying. The cold blade followed the curve of your chest, gliding down your stomach in an excruciatingly slow path. The contrast between the cool steel and the warmth of your skin sent shivers coursing through you, leaving you utterly at his mercy.

Without warning, Luke pressed the vibrator back against your throbbing clit, pulling a sharp gasp from your lips. Your body jolted at the sudden onslaught of sensation, the relentless hum pushing you closer to the brink once again.

"You're so beautiful like this," he murmured, his masked face tilting as if studying your reaction. His words, his touch, and the intoxicating rhythm of the vibrator all worked together to unravel you completely.

"Do you think you could forgive me?" Luke mused aloud, his voice muffled but still dark and teasing through the mask. "Or was it worth the wait? God i, you're so wet, baby. I can't wait to see that pretty little pussy. Can't wait to fuck it."

You let out a soft, broken moan, biting the inside of your cheek as his filthy words sent another rush of heat straight to your core. The vibrator rested against your oversensitive clit, its hum reverberating through you, while Luke's gloved hand slowly traveled up and down your trembling thigh.

"Please, Lu," you begged, your voice cracking under the weight of your desperation. "I need more. I want more."

Luke chuckled, low and sinful, dragging the knife across your stomach with deliberate slowness. He traced lazy patterns on your skin, careful not to press too hard, his gentleness juxtaposed with the danger of the blade. The contrast made your head spin, desire clouding your every thought.

"You want more?" he echoed mockingly. "So greedy, aren't we?" His grip on your thigh tightened, and the blade shifted lower, gliding over your panties with just enough pressure to make your hips jerk.

"Say it," Luke demanded, his tone dropping, leaving no room for refusal. "Tell me you want my cock. That's what you're begging for, isn't it? Say it."

You shivered, cheeks wet with tears that streamed freely down your face as you let out a strangled cry. "Please, Luke, I want your cock. Fuck me—please—"

Luke's chuckle was dark and satisfied as he moved the knife with precision, slicing through the delicate fabric of your panties in one swift motion. The shredded material slid down your legs, leaving you bare and utterly exposed to his gaze.

For a moment, you held your breath as the vibrator's relentless hum continued to torment you, but mercifully, Luke pulled it away. Your thighs quivered as the overwhelming sensations subsided slightly, only for your need to grow even stronger under his unwavering attention.

Luke tossed the ruin fabric aside. “Such a shame,” He whispered, climbing on the bed and working open the button of his jeans. “I really liked those.” His gloved hands grabbed your trembling thighs, spreading them open enough to make space for himself.

He took his time admiring you, wet and glistening before him. Although the mask hid his face, you could still hear his heavy breathing. You didn’t doubt that he was devouring your body with his eyes.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” He whimpered, his gloved thumb brushing over your swollen clit, making your hips buck up in response. “So ready for me, aren’t you? This is what you’ve been thinking about, haven’t you? Me fucking you until you can’t even raise your head.”

“Yes,” You whispered, shaking with anticipation as your eyes flickered down to where he strained against his underwear. “Luke— I need you, please.”

He pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, his thumb still teasing your clit. You watched through half-lidded eyes as he pulled down his underwear, his erection quickly freed from its confines.

Luke's tip was flushed and slick with precum as he wrapped a gloved hand around his length, guiding it to your entrance with an infuriating slowness. "You've been such a good girl for me," he murmured, dragging himself along your slick folds and pausing to tease your swollen clit. His voice was thick with desire, each word dripping with intent.

"But do you think you can forgive me?"

You opened your mouth to reply, but before a single word escaped, Luke thrust into you with no warning. Your breath hitched as a sharp cry tore from your lips, back arching off the mattress as he stretched you in a way that felt both overwhelming and perfect. The days without him only amplified the sensation, the ache and fullness making your toes curl.

“Fuck,” Luke groaned, his voice slightly strained and breathless in your ear. He pressed deeper into you, burying himself to the hilt and stopping briefly to enjoy the feeling of it, of your walls wrapped tightly around him. “You feel so fucking good, so good f’me.”

“Only for you,” You gasped, feeling his gloved hand as it settled against your hip and gripped tightly. His other hand braced against the mattress next to your head.

“Y/N,” He rasped, still not moving. You clenched around him, whimpering in a desperate attempt to get him to move again. “I missed you so much.”

"I missed you,” You gasped, your voice a soft whimper as you writhed beneath him. The white mask loomed above you, adding a tantalizing mystery to the moment. You couldn't see his face, but you could imagine it perfectly—his blue eyes screwed shut, his teeth digging into the black lip ring he always toyed with when he was consumed by desire.

Your body tightened around him, adjusting to his size as waves of pleasure spread through you. Each second felt like an eternity, your core burning with need as your fingers clutched at his forearms for stability. "Lu," you whimpered, your voice breaking. "Please, I need you to move."

Luke's low chuckle reverberated through the room, the sound dark and teasing, making you clench around him involuntarily. He hissed sharply, the grip on your hip tightening as his gloved fingers pressed into your soft skin. "You're so needy, baby," he murmured, his tone dripping with smug amusement.

But he didn't make you wait any longer.

Slowly, he pulled his hips back, only to thrust forward again with deliberate intent. The drag of him inside you sent sparks of pleasure coursing through your veins, and your head fell back against the pillows, a moan spilling from your lips.

Luke’s hips snapped hungrily against you, setting a punishing pace that made you screw your eyes shut in pleasure. He watched you writhe beneath him, your moans filling the room and mixing in with his.

You couldn’t help the way your body responded to Luke’s grunts and gasps, and you arched against him— the friction driving you wild. You were still sensitive from your previous orgasm and overstimulation, so every thrust made you see stars.

“You feel so good around me,” He whimpered, his voice muffled by the mask, but the strain in his tone was evident. “So tight and warm.”

You whimpered, your legs tightening around Luke’s waist as he continued to fuck into you. The mask obscured your view of his face, but the way his body moved with such fervor made it clear that he was just as affected as you were.

His chest heaved with every thrust, and your arms slid to his broad shoulders in search for an anchor. “Luke—“ You gasped. “Harder, please, fuck me harder.”

Luke laughed darkly, his hands tightening on your waist enough that she thought it might leave bruises. You found that you didn’t quite mind. “So fucking greedy,” He growled. “But you’re such a good girl, and I can’t say no to you.”

Luke’s pace picked up. His thrusts grew harder and deeper, more desperate as he felt you clench around him. The sound of your bodies clashing together and moans filled the room, and you felt yourself begin to grow close again.

Your head trashed against the pillow. “I’m close,” You sobbed, the intensity making your body fizzle with energy. “Oh, God.” Your nails dug into Luke’s shoulders.

“Come for me, Y/N,” He commanded. Luke leaned his masked face down, brushing against your ear. “Show me how much you missed me.”

His words were all the permission you needed, arching your back off the bed as a second, more forceful orgasm washed over you. A broken moan escaped your lips, your heels digging into the small of Luke’s back.

“That’s it,” Luke cooed, his voice filled with raw desire and pride. “So beautiful when you come for me.”

Your walls fluttered around him and you whimpered, meeting his hips with your own as you rode out your high.

But Luke didn't relent. Instead, he pulled off his mask, revealing his flushed, sweaty face.

His lips found the sensitive skin of your neck, his movements never slowing as his hips continued to thrust into you with relentless force.

You let out a strangled yell, your body trembling from the overwhelming sensation. "Lu—" Your voice cracked as you gasped, breathless. "I can't—too much—"

But Luke didn't seem to hear you, driven by something primal, his need for you blinding.

“No,” He growled. “You can take it, baby, you’re doing so good. I’m not finished apologizing yet.” His thumb found your swollen clit again, rubbing firm, harsh circles on you.

You whimpered, shaking your head. But the newfound attention to your sensitive bud rekindled the flame low in your belly. The buildup was so much faster this time, so much more intense and tears slid down your face.

Luke's rhythm faltered, his movements growing erratic as his breathing became heavier. "God, you feel so good," he rasped, his voice rough with raw desire. "So fucking perfect."

The tidal wave building inside you finally crashed, pulling you under with an intensity that left you breathless. You screamed his name as your orgasm tore through you, a release so powerful it left you trembling uncontrollably. Warmth flooded between them, wetness pooling beneath you and soaking the mattress.

Luke froze for a moment, his eyes widening as he processed what had just happened.

"Holy shit, Y/N," he groaned, his voice thick with awe and arousal. "You squirted—"

The slickness and the rhythmic tightening of your walls around him pushed him past the edge he'd been teetering on. With a guttural growl, Luke buried his face in your neck, his body trembling as he drove into you one last time, deep and hard.

“Fuck baby,” he groaned, pressing a kiss to the soft flesh of your neck. You were breathing heavily, your mind a foggy mess as you looked into your boyfriend’s deep blue eyes.

He slid down your thighs, gently prying them open before leaning in to lick you clean. You let out a tired whimper, your body still slick and hypersensitive. The touch of Luke's tongue sent shivers through you—equal parts pleasure and overstimulation.

When he was satisfied, he rolled off you and climbed out of bed, peeling off his soaked costume while you watched in a cozy, contented silence. Once he was done, Luke settled back beside you, brushing a tender kiss against your lips, a soft contrast to the intensity that you had just shared.

When Luke pulled away and glanced at the mess on the mattress, a mischievous grin spread across his face. “So, I’m taking this as your way of saying you’ve forgiven me?” he teased, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on your still-trembling thigh.

You ran your hands through his messy, sweat-dampened hair, your nails grazing his scalp. “I don’t know,” you murmured, a teasing smile curving your lips. “Throw in a Plan B, and we’ll call it even.”

Luke chuckled, leaning in to press a soft, lingering kiss to your lips before pulling back just enough to smirk. “Deal.”

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

send in your requests pls!!! hope you guys enjoyed 🤞

[nobitchs-world]

Me after realizing I look like my father

[heartcal]

overflow; c.h.

summary: calum breaks up with you over text instead of talking things out, but you're not settling for that. pairing: calum hood x gn!reader word count: 1,055 words warnings: mentions of stress, arguing, probably some swears (as usual), angst :^) (but some comfort), largely unedited + not proofread (written around 5am pls forgive me)

a/n: hi :^)) this is a lil piece i wrote after spending an entire day fixing my old laptop (that has been "dead" for 5 years) -- i used this laptop to write A LOT back then. since i have it working again, i had the motivation to write so i wanted to write and this is what came out :^) not for rejected (sorry :^( it's coming though!) but it's something! this was more like a writing exercise to get me back into things, so enjoy!

masterlist!

“I told you,” Calum scoffs, gripping the door handle to stop himself from shutting it in your face, “we’re done.” 

You shake your head, “Over text? Really?” 

He shrugs in response, eyes shifting behind you on a car passing by. He’s doing what he can to avoid any more direct eye contact. 

The everyday stress weighed on him, you note, as the dark circles under his eyes make any indication. There’s a slight redness surrounding his eyes and he’s blinking slower than normal. His shoulders are slumped, and you can hear it in his voice. He’s exhausted. 

You push past him and into the house – a home you once felt comfortable in – and it isn’t a welcome sight. Papers crumbled up and strewn around the living room, and various beverages in both cans and bottles littered the coffee table along with the end tables. Ash trays with countless cigarettes, used tissues, a slight musty odor tickled your nose with every other inhale. 

“What the hell, Calum?” You turn back to him, still standing by the now closed door, still avoiding your eyes. 

You sigh, your gaze shifting back to the mess in disbelief. 

You knew the stress was getting to him, and despite your best efforts to comfort him, it wore him down. The requests for him to take it easy, to take a break, to go for a walk with you to help clear his head; pointless, stupid, not helpful. His responses were pitiful, then they were disappointing, and eventually, maddening.  

You couldn’t take the pity party anymore. You wanted to be a good partner and be there for him but it was hard when he constantly pushed away any of your support. You didn’t want to watch Calum self-destruct when you were there to offer a shoulder to lean on. 

It started with a few snarky remarks here and there, originally going unnoticed by him (at least you believe they did, since he made no noise of acknowledgment). Then it evolved into quick albeit small retorts, which would then lead to you giving a few of your own.  

Was it petty? Absolutely, you’ll admit, and so did all your friends when you showed up to one of the latest get-togethers. They offered words of encouragement with their criticism of the situation. It’s just a small bump in the road, one said, patting your back gently, you both will get over it. 

Except neither of you did. The small bump devolved into a pothole, and your relationship went south. 

One snarky remark, then another, then another, and then another until it became name-calling and playground insults. The weight of everything poured over and you said something you didn’t mean. 

You were tired, too. You had your issues going on and he had known, and it was the fact that he was in his own world, too busy to notice you slipping like he was. 

It came to a head a week ago. Both of you spitting vitriol towards each other, too engrossed in trying to hurt the other to notice the look of heartbreak.  

“You know what? I’m done,” you breathe out, hands up in exasperation. 

Calum doesn’t say anything, rolling his eyes whilst nodding, shoving his hands into his pockets. 

You left the house that day, opting to stay with your friend hoping to clear your head in preparation for The Talk. But the days passed, and you received a text from Calum the night before. 

I can’t do this anymore. We’re done. 

It was stupid, you thought, to break things off over text. Childish, even, and you wanted to tell him that to his face. 

So the next day, you made your way over with a full speech ready to go. He was going to listen to you for the first time in a while whether he liked it or not. 

But the speech and any witty jabs were gone when you arrived, and upon walking into the house you were in just a week ago, the gravity of the situation dawned on you. 

You gulp, turning to face Calum. His eyes jumped up to look at the movement before moving down to look at his nails as he picked at the dirt underneath the fingernails. 

Your mouth opens, ready to speak, but it snaps shut as Calum’s stance changes. “Don’t.” 

“I didn’t even say anything.” 

“You were going to,” he steps away from the door, “and I know what you were going to say.” 

He knows you’re starting to pity him. He knows and he hates it. 

Your jaw clenches. You won’t get anywhere with him if he’s acting like this. You sniffle, warmth beginning to surround your eyes, “No, Calum, let me speak.” 

He inhales, ready to open his mouth to respond, but his mouth doesn’t move. 

“You’re digging yourself into this...this hole. I mean, look at this place--” your hands gesture to the living room, “--it’s a mess, Calum! This is unhealthy, physically and mentally. I’m worried about you.” 

Calum still says nothing, but his eyes finally make contact with yours. Your breath hitches, noticing the redness in his eyes has spread, unshed tears dance around his lower lids. There’s a slight tremble in his jaw, his breathing starting to pick up. 

“I’m worried about you, Calum,” you repeat, taking a hesitant step towards him, “I care about you. I just want you to talk to me, and I mean really talk to me.” 

He doesn’t move as you inch closer. He doesn’t move when you reach for his shaking hands, holding them in yours.  

His tears finally fall once you squeeze his hands, reassuring him that you’re here. 

He shakes his hands free from yours, bringing them up to wrap you in a tight hug while mumbling numerous apologies. 

Apologies for the insults, his attitude, his silence, and his behavior overall. He’s near inconsolable, hands tightening on your shirt, not caring about the tears staining it as he nuzzles his head into your neck.  

You soothe him, gently scratching his back. 

“Let’s talk, yeah?” 

He pulls away after a beat of silence, agreeing with puffy eyes, one hand still on your back. 

It’s not going to be an easy conversation, but it’s sure going to be a hell of a lot better than keeping everything in again.  

[orangeinecstasy]

i need more of those 5sos thoughts!!!!

bf ashton thoughts ⋆ฺ｡*:･

a/n: ask and you shall receive!!! i swear i've been seeing so much ash content so ofc i had to do him next. he also happens to be my 5sos lane which makes it even better. fluff and smut sections included in this one!!

so so so many beach days. he loved when you record a wave he caught while surfing and it doesn't hurt that you're wearing a bathing suit either

big gift giver. always brings you fresh flowers and makes sure to keep on to know when he needs to rebuy them. picks up little trinkets that he thinks you'll like and tries so hard to package them up cutely but ends up failing. but it's the thought that counts!!

100% tries to teach you how to play the drums, even if its just a simple beat

late night spontaneous dates are a normality when being with him. could be anywhere from going to a park and stargazing to diving into the city and going to a bar

he wants to show you off 24/7. like he doesn't have one picture "this is my partner" picture, its a whole album that he's showing to people because he can't believe you're all his

meditating together

guarding together

tbh just being outside and being in nature together would be a big thing for him

not a super huge pda person but BIG on physical touch

so so so many songs written about you. if they didn't end up on a 5sos album he would totally curate his own and dedicate it to you

tons and tons of inside jokes

would 100% get a tattoo for you. i don't think it would specifically be your name, but maybe some art you produced or something that reminds him of you, etc

not a super big pet name user, but sometimes he'll sprinkle them in

smoking together>>>

smutty/suggestive thoughts below the pics

its always ass or tits, and though ashton definitely loves both i feel like he's more of a thigh guy. they way they're so plush and he can squeeze them and mark them to his liking. how they look in skirts or dressed or when they they're over his shoulders. he can't get enough of them

100% puts you're pleasure first. if he comes, great! but he's so focused on you and making sure that you're experiencing as much pleasure as possible

on that note-- he loved to eat you out. your taste, your smell, the way your hands grip at his hair and his name falls from his lips is just intoxicating for him. he also can't deny how much it boosts his ego knowing that he can make you come with just his mouth

so many suggestive comments when you're with a group of friends. he loves watching you get riled up and pressing your thighs together by his words

he's such a tease oh my god. like you know something is about to happen just by how his eyes shift and that smirk that he can't seem to wipe off his face

such a slut for you. he wants you anywhere all the time. doesn't matter who's around, before a show- after a show, he needs you.

thigh riding!!!

so much casual dominance omg. driving you guys everywhere, constantly trying to find ways to help you, helping you pick out outfits. ugh i can't stop thinking about it

don't think he's a huge lingerie guy, but he really appreciated it when you take the time to pick out a set and doll yourself up

cannot get enough of bondage and blindfolds. both using it on you or you using it on him

obsessed with marking-- he wants people to know he's yours and you're his. like i can just imagine him posting a picture on his instagram story where his hair is all messy and his lips are plump from friction, neck littered with hickeys. he would probably delete it after a couple of minutes because the pr team would actually freak out, but it was most definitely worth it in his book.

high sex

likes to take his time, but doesn’t mind a quickie

cuddles that turn into sex that end up with you two curled back together asleep

love love loves kissing. how simple it can show your affection for someone and how it can be innocent and turn into something more

sleepy sex!!! early mornings or late at night when he’s back from the studio and just needs to be as close to you as possible

[iplayguitarbutshesintodrummers]

Love is not a real thing | Calum Hood x Reader (she/her)

Autor note: I wrote this based in something i read on the 5sos wikipedia when i started to stan them that said that calum didn't believed in love

Also, sorry if there's any grammatical error, english Is not my first lenguage.

summary: you were friends with 5sos even before they started the band, Calum Is your best friend and to be honest you always had a tiny crush on him, until some time ago where your feelings started to grow stronger.

The problem here Is that calum wasn't a love believer, he would always complain about how hard relationships and love in general Is, just because he had some failed relationships for dating mean ass people.

But maybe..

Just maybe

You could make him think otherwise

Warning: dramatic confession, fluff too much fluff lol

Pov Y/N:

I would be lying if i say that i didn't felt anything for Calum, i've been having this weird feelings since we met, not so long ago i realized that i was in love with him.

But it was late now, we already have a strong friendship, telling him about my feelings would be like throw me off a cliff and im not willing to risk my treasured friendship for just some silly feelings that probably are just something that i would forget about as soon as i met someone else, right?

But i couldn't help it.

Sometimes i would just watch him exist when we hang out with the boys, getting lost in his eyes or just admiring his features, fantasizing about pressing my lips against his or whisper into his ear how much i loved him

A voice took me out of my thoughts

"Y/N, you okay? You have been dissociating for 20 minutes now"

Ashton said with a confused and worried expression

"yeah, everything's okay"

I took a sip of my drink and tried to catch up with everything the boys have been talking about, remembering the old times and getting nostalgic since the other day i was going to move to Nashville

calum was a little more quiet tonight, i tried not to make eye contact with him since i sweared that he was almost staring into my soul.

Luke turned towards Calum

"what's up with your love life, cal pal?"

"nothing new, mate, you already know how i feel about the whole love thing"

"what about you, Y/N?"

Luke asked me making me get out of my thoughts once again

"what about me...?"

"do you have a partner?"

Calum asked being straight forward

"uhm.. no i don't"

The topic stayed there and we didn't touched it again for the whole night.

It was past midnight when we decided that we should leave the bar.

Mostly because Luke and Michael were getting a little bit too tipsy.

Ashton offered to take them home, leaving Calum and me alone.

"i'll text you when i get home"

I was planning on walking back home, i needed some fresh air and a little walk won't hurt anyone.

"where are you going?"

Calum said with his arms crossed sightly raising his brow

"to my house..?"

"without me?"

Calum said sightly teasing before wrapping one of his arms around my shoulders as we started walking

"thanks for coming with me"

"whenever you want, rockstar"

as we walked towards my place we talked about a lot of random topics, sometimes we were even stopping our tracks to just talk

Like if we never wanted to arrive my place and end this night.

However, sooner or later that was going to happen.

we arrived to the front door of my house.

I unlocked it and turned to look at Calum.

"thanks for the walk"

"no worries, mate"

He waved at me and turned around as he started walking away.

It was now or never

"Calum!"

He stopped his tracks and looked at me

"hm?"

"..."

I took a deep breath trying to find the correct words

"i.."

"i love you"

His eyes widened sightly and then he smiled kindly

"love you too"

He turned around and kept walking away.

What the hell have just happend..?

He thought i said it in a friendly meanor..?

I noticed that it started to drizzle, i just hoped he would get home safe and dry at least.

Pov Calum:

I left Y/N's house as soon as i could, even if i didn't meant to but i just felt like i needed to leave running out of there.

I felt my breath heavier, a huge weight over my shoulders and how my heart was beating like if it was going to get out of my chest at any moment.

It was just a simple, friendly "I love you" right?

I shouldn't be overthinking it that much, but i couldn't help it.

There was something in they way she said it that it made it have so much power over me.

I arrived to my place and just lied on my couch looking at the ceiling just trying to think of something else, but my thoughts always leaded to her, to Y/N.

The question flooded my mind "what did she meant by that?" Was she just being friendly? Or was she flirting with me?

I started to get frustrated because i had so many questions and not a single answer

I would be lying if i say i haven't been some kind of attracted to Y/N lately, but i feel like she's completely out of my reach, not only because she's one of my best friends since forever but because i feel like she's too much for me, i wouldn't be able to give her what she deserves, and i would end up messing everything up like i always do in my relationships

However

I needed to get it out of my chest, we hated having secrets between us, after all, she was moving to Nashville tomorrow and it was my last chance.

I stood up, took my car keys and opened the door to leave my house and go to look for Y/N

What i didn't expected was to find her there right in front of me under the rain

"Y/N?"

She interrupted me

"when i told you that i love you"

"i was being serious"

"Cal, if im going to leave i think you deserve to know what has been through my mind lately"

"i.. i think i developed feelings for you"

My eyes widened, the hell we actually shared braincells..

"Y/N-"

"don't say anything i don't want answers, i just want to get this out of my chest"

"i really like you Cal."

"im not saying we could be something like boyfriend and girlfriend because i don't know how you feel about this and also the fact that you say "you always mess up" in relationships and that you don't believe in love"

"and that's what i wanted to talk to you about"

"you sticked to the idea that you are not worth of love and that you always mess up your relationships and it ends up happening just because you are constantly thinking about it. And i hate seeing you torturing yourself like that. You are worth of love Cal, you are a good partner, you are everything anyone would wish in a relationship"

"and im sick of you not believing me, you think you always mess up because you think you are "too boring" or "too simple"

"When in reality you are not anything of that, and your exes just couldn't actually see who you really are and what you actually worth"

"you are the most talented, kindest, funniest, and romantic person i know and i can't stand you not believing that because some bullshit people made you think otherwise"

Her voice started to break

'i just-"

"i wished you could see yourself like I see you so you could understand why i like you so much"

"i wish you could see that love Is a real thing, that love Is not really what you think it Is"

"i wished you could give me a chance to prove to you that you never were the problem and that you just needed to find the correct person.."

I felt a knot in my throat i just needed to hug her and cry in her arms, i needed to hear that so bad.

I just didn't thought that hearing it from her could be so relieving

There was a long silence between us while i was trying to find the correct words to say.

Suddenly she took a step closer

"Calum.."

I looked at her

"promise me that when you fall in love again.. you'll think about what i told you

And promise me that, in that case, you would be positive enough to make things work"

"Y/N.."

My voice breaking

"i promise i would be positive enough to make things work between us"

"wait wha-?"

I didn't wanted to hear anything more, I cupped her face with my hands and kissed her without warning.

At first i felt her tense, she didn't expected me to do that, but then she gave in and kissed me back.

some seconds after we both pulled away and i pressed my forehead against her's

"am i being too dramatic if i say you might be my end game?"

I said with a silly little grin in my face

"kind of, but that's what i like about you"

Pls reblog if you liked this, you would help me a lot

The fics requests are open btw! Tysm for reading <3

[calumsrockstar]

Bunny - Ashton Irwin

a/n: DADDY ISSUES NATION RISE! This is my longest fic until now, and it´s inspired by @rip-quizilla.

word count: 3k

Where you find a mysterious hot neighbor.

Contents: MAJOR AGE GAP (reader is 19 and Ash is 44), perv!ash, spanking, pet names, praise, unprotected p in v, oral (f and m recieving) masturbation (f and m), corruption kink, daddy kink

Older!Ash x Reader

You entered your brand new house, it was small, but spacious considering it was your first. Your mom and your dad finally let you move out, giving you all the privacy you needed.

For the first month everything was normal, until you heard almost every mom in the neighborhood talk about a handsome and mysterious Mr. Irwin. Only to notice that he was living right next to you.

You were curious, since moving to the neighborhood, you´ve never seen what he looked like, your window was right opposite his, but he always kept the curtain closed.

Adjusting yourself, you looked at the mirror and flattened your yellow sundress. It was a hot summer day, and what better way to quench your thirst than to deliver lemonade to your supposedly hot neighbor?

You opened the fridge to get a large jug of your homemade lemonade, and left the house, leaving the front door unlocked.

Walking to his house, you took deep breaths, and knocked on the door. Now you wait.....

A tall man opened the door, looking to be in his 20s. His light brown hair looked soft and curly. his skin sunkissed. "Hi there." He smiled. Making you forget why you were there.

Holy shit.

"Um-hi." You smiled. "I moved here a month ago and I ́ve never said hello, I decided to bring you some lemonade. Some friendly neighbor activity." You chuckled.

He looked you up and down, basically devouring you with his eyes. "That's awfully kind of you." You detected some kind of accent. "It 's no problem." You replied.

"Sorry if this is too direct but, how come i´ve never seen you before?" You asked him. "At my age, I don't go out of my house much honey, I like to read, play music." You raised an eyebrow. "Your age? Like 25?"

He let out a throaty laugh. "You flatter me." Making you smile. "How old are you?" You asked. "If you don't mind me asking of course." He grinned. "Guess."

"28?" He shook his head no. "30?" He shook his head no again. "35?" You asked, hoping you didn't say he was too old. "More." He grinned. "No fucking way." You replied. "40?" He clicked his tongue. "You're getting closer." Your mouth was practically on the floor. "I´m 44, sweetheart."

"What? That's insane." You smiled. "You definitely don't look or act 44." You said. "Hey, how is a 44 year old supposed to act?" He chuckled. "I don´t know, smoking cigars on your front porch, maybe?" You smiled. "I´m young at heart, you know." He leaned down to talk to you.

"How old are you, little lady?" He grinned. "I'm 19." He widened his hazel eyes. "19, wow. Basically a baby." You fake pouted. "I'm not a baby." You smiled, teasingly. "You are to me." He replied. You frowned. Did he actually think of you as a kid?

"What´s a young girl like you doing living all by herself?" He asked. "I just moved out, I wanted some privacy." You replied, making him raise an eyebrow. "Privacy, huh? You sure you´re not gonna throw any parties?"

You laughed. "That's not what all kids do these days, by the way. Maybe in your time, Mr. Irwin." You put your hand on your forehead. "That was rude, i´m sorry." He laughed. "How do you know my last name?" He smiled.

You turned pink. "Well, you must know that women talk about you." He raised an eyebrow. "Do they?" He chuckled. "Yeah, all the time." You replied.

"Can you tell me what they say?" He smiled, making you turn an even deeper shade of red. "Well, they all say you're really handsome and stuff... And how they wonder if you have a wife." You smiled. "No, I don't have one, sweetheart." He grinned.

Oh god yes.

"Oh, that's good to know. I mean, that's cool." You stuttered. Making him chuckle. "Well, I guess I´ll see you around, Mr. Irwin." You said turning your back. "Please, call me Ashton." He blurted out. "What's your name?" He asked. "It´s y/n." You smiled. "Nice to meet you y/n." I hope to see you soon." You looked over your shoulder and nodded.

When you turned around, Ashton couldn't help but look at your ass. It was sculpted and it drove him crazy. He could tell you were definitely trouble.

Ashton closed the door, and smiled. You were the only thing he could think of for hours. He wanted to get to know you, to know what your interests were, your life. He already was utterly obsessed. He felt like a teenager again, with hormones blossoming inside of him.

You were sweet and innocent, like a bunny. Something deep inside him wanted to ruin you.

You could not help thinking of him too. His tattooed arms, his curly hair, how his tank top hugged every place of him. How his shorts were tight around his bulge.

Shit. You wanted to fuck your 44 year old neighbor.

Ashton let his curiosity get the best of him. He finally opened his office window, to see if he could peek inside your house. Fortunately for him, this was the window directly opposite your bedroom.

After a long day, you decided to go to your bedroom to relax. Kicking off your shoes and getting out of your sundress. It was hot, so you absentmindedly left your bedroom window open, not knowing you had a spectator.

"Holy fuck." Ashton thought, his jaw was on the ground. You were wearing a lacy pink underwear set. The dim lighting in your room made you look ethereal.

Ashton was getting harder by the second. He knew this was wrong. Spying on his innocent little neighbor. But at this moment, he could care less.

You took off your bra, slowly. Ashton watched your breasts slip out of them, he thought he was dreaming. You were the most beautiful girl he's ever seen.

You reached in your bedroom drawer and found a pretty pink vibrator that you've stashed there. You laid down, tracing circles over your panties with the vibrator, letting out little whimpers.

"No fucking way." Ashton mouthed. He couldn't take it anymore. He took his cock out of his pants, bubbling with pre-cum. He felt like a pervert, but this turned him on even more.

Little y/n wasn't as innocent as he thought.

Taking off your panties, your pussy was on full display. Making Ashton´s mouth water.

You pressed the vibrator on your clit while you inserted two fingers inside of yourself, curling them. The shock made your back lift off the mattress, with a moan so loud you were sure your neighbor could hear.

All you wanted was Ashton. You wished his fingers were inside of you, you wished he was fucking you.

Ashton started to rub himself, watching intently. So what if you saw? He thought. His cock was throbbing, he was desperate to be inside you. Every muscle in his body ached for you.

You started to squirm, your clit throbbing with pulsing sensations that made you convulse in bed. While Ashton was shivering. This is the most turned on he´s been ever.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck." You moaned while you bit your lip, feeling that familiar feeling in your stomach. Ashton started fucking his fist, harder and faster.

"Fuck! Ashton!" You screamed when you came. Putting your hand to your mouth when you realized what you said. At the same time, Ashton came all over his hand, panting hard. His curls were sticking to his forehead.

Did she just say my name? She couldn't have.

-----

In the morning you decided to lounge by the pool, and get some sun. You put on your favorite blue bikini and put your hair in a bun and headed out to the garden.

You opened up the door to your yard, secretly hoping a certain hazel eyed man would stumble in.

Sitting on a lounge chair, looking at your phone you noticed a tall figure looking down at you.

"Fuckin´ hot today, eh?" It was Ashton. A shirtless Ashton. Looking you up and down with no shame. "Good morning Mr. Irwin." You smiled. "You're finally out of the house." You added. "I wanted to see you, darling." He replied. Your mouth turned dry.

"You wanted to see me?" You repeated, making him smile. "Why do you want this old man out of your garden?" He chuckled, making you giggle. "Nah, c´mere." You told him, making a "Come hither" motion with your finger.

Just to think those were the fingers that were inside you last night made him shiver.

You tucked your legs in and motioned for him to sit at the tip of the lounging chair. When he sat, you spread your legs to fit around his thighs.

The only thing separating your pussy from his back was a flimsy piece of fabric.

"So, where are you from?" You asked him. "I´m originally from Australia, but I moved here a few years ago." You nodded. "Why´d you move?" You asked, picking at his sunburnt shoulders. "I think I just wanted to move on with my life, start a new chapter." He looked back at you and smiled. "Fair enough." You smiled back.

"I haven't noticed your tattoos." You said, stroking your hands on his arm. "Yeah got a few of them, love, years of experience." He smiled. "This one's my favorite." You pointed at his snake tattoo on his bicep. "It's one of my favorites too."

"Do you have any more tattoos?" You asked, rubbing both of his thighs. "y/n..." He melted into your touch. "I'm just asking." You grinned, placing a kiss on his neck. "Jesus Christ." He chuckled in between shallow breaths. "Are you sure?" He asked. You muttered an "mhm."

"I´ve seen you eye fucking me, Ashton, when we first met, when I was taking out the trash, right back then..."

He stood up, turned to face you, and sat back down."Dirty girl... When I was in college you weren't even born yet." You shrugged your shoulders, smiling. You could feel a wet patch growing in your bikini bottoms.

"I was touching myself thinking of you last night." You whispered, making him grin. "Me too." He chuckled. "You just looked so pretty yesterday... Your window was open." Your mouth dropped. "You perv!" You smiled. "Hey, you´re the one touching yourself thinking of an old man fucking you." He grinned.

"You looked so cute squirming, bunny." This sent shivers down your spine.

"Please kiss me." You pleaded. He wasted no time. He held your face with his two hands and kissed you, the kiss was fervent, urgent. Your tongues battling between each other, barely giving you space to breathe.

"Do anything you want to me, Ashton." You told him. "Anything?" He asked. "Anything." You smiled. "That´s a very bold claim to make." "I mean it." You smirked.

"Stand up." He ordered, doing the same as you. "You brought this upon yourself." He smiled, as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, making you scream and giggle.

He unlocked his front door and carried you inside. You observed three guitars and a huge drumset in his living room, complete with 10 pairs of drumming sticks.

He placed you on the couch that was big enough to fit four people, putting enough force for you to land with an "oomph."

"You look so cute, babygirl." He smiled, making you blush. You decided to make a risky move. "Thank you, daddy." You replied, waiting for his response.

You could see his eyes visibly darken, and his mouth turned into a grin. "Holy fuck, y/n." He smiled. "Want me to be your daddy?" He asked you. You could only mutter an "mhm." Your clit was throbbing, practically begging to be touched.

He trailed a finger through your bikini bottoms, making your whole body shiver. "So wet for me, and I haven't even touched you, bunny." He whispered in your ear. "Please, Ashton." You mewled.

He tugged at the strings of your bikini top and undid them. "You have such perfect tits, princess." He said, while fondling them. Placing his mouth on one and nipping at it, making you whimper. "So sensitive, too." He smiled.

Kneeling in front of you on the couch, he tugged on your bikini bottoms taking them off. You clenched your legs together, by instinct, blushing. "No need to be shy, princess." He smiled, gently pushing your legs apart and peppering little kisses on the inside of your thighs.

"Such a pretty pussy." He cooed. "Fuckin´ perfect."

He kitten licked your clit, making you let out a breathy moan. He looked up at you, waiting for your approval. You nodded and smiled, making him grin.

He grabbed your lower back with his big hands and pulled you closer to his face, making you gasp.

His pupils were blown out with lust. Dipping down to face your sex. Without warning, he dives in and you feel him licking a long strip between your wet folds.

"Fuck! Ashton." You exclaim, grabbing his curls and digging your fingers into his scalp. He winced at the pain, but he definitely enjoyed this.

You grind against his mouth, while his tongue draws circles around your clit. Throwing your head back into the couch, your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

The sensation was almost too much. His eyes never left you, enjoying the sight of you convulsing on the couch. Your pretty moans were like music to his ears.

He licks faster and faster. Groaning inside of you. "I'm getting- I'm getting close." You said in between shallow breaths. He starts sucking on your clit harshly, the sounds were borderline sinful.

You felt a tightness inside your stomach, like a cord waiting to snap. "Don´t stop, please." You mewled.

Your orgasm washes over you, making your whole body shake, clenching your walls around Ashton´s tongue. "Oh my God." You smiled.

Ashton surfaced, his lips were puffy and his mouth was covered in your slick. "Hi." You giggled. "Hi." He repeated, smiling. You covered your face with your hands, and blushed.

"Can I taste you?" You asked. "I-um, fuck yes." He stuttered. "Yeah, you can taste me."

He takes off his shirt and gives it to you. "Here baby, for your knees." You smile and bunch up the soft cotton material on the ground.

You kneel down in front of him, pulling his shorts down and snapping the elastic band of his boxers, finally freeing him. His erection sprang up at you. It was the longest and thickest cock you´ve ever seen.

"See how you make me feel, bunny?" He asked, making you smile. You pumped his shaft a few times to test the waters, making him groan deeply. "Fuck, y/n..." He moaned.

You kitten lick his tip, tasting his salty pre-cum, making Ashton´s whole body shiver.

Sinking down, you took his whole length, gagging. Ashton gently grabbed your hair, holding it to get it out of the way. Bobbing your head up and down, swirling circles around his tip.

"Fu-uck..." He moaned. "You're so perfect." He breathed deeply.

Soon enough, he was moving his hips, increasing his pace while his head was thrown back. "Makin´ me feel so good, sweet girl." He groaned.

He pulled himself out of you, grabbing you by the hair. "I´m not gonna be able to fuck you if we continue this." He chuckled. "Want daddy to fuck you, bunny?" He asked, making you nod. "Please, that's all I want, please." You begged, making him smile darkly.

You both stood up. "C´mere." He said, picking you up bridal style. You were still surprised as to how he could pick you up like you were nothing.

Taking you up a big staircase, you found yourself in a huge master bedroom, complete with another drum set, and vinyls hanging on the walls.

He plopped you down on the bed, a bit more roughly this time.

He looked around, opening a few drawers. "What 's wrong?" You asked. "Shit, I don't have a condom." He muttered. "I'm on the pill." You smiled, making him grin as well. "That's all you needed to say." He replied, taking off his shorts and underwear.

He climbed on top of the bed, hovering over you. "Daddy's gonna make you feel good, sweetheart." He smiled, you watched his eyes darken.

He puts a hand on your throat and pushes his mouth in for a kiss, hard, sloppy, hungry.

"You okay?" He smiles. "Yeah, just please fuck me Ashton." You pleaded. "Atta girl." He responded.

He grabbed your hips and slowly pushed himself inside of you, hissing at the feeling. The initial stretch burned, but slowly but surely you got adjusted to his size.

"Fuck, you´re so tight, bunny." He groaned, starting to pump in and out, guiding your hips, making you arch your back off the mattress, if they could, your eyes could roll into the back of your head.

"Please, faster." You exclaimed. You were lightheaded, becoming cockdrunk, letting out little moans that made Ashton go wild. "Want to ruin you, so nobody but me gets to use this pussy."

"Fuck! Just like that!" You exclaimed, feeling the pulsing wave of pleasure continue to grow inside of you, clenching around his cock. "You're taking me so well baby girl, won't last much longer with you clenching around me like that." He breathed rapidly.

"I'm close, Ashton." You repeated. "Cum for me bunny, let me feel that perfect fucking pussy." Those words were enough to make you cum alone.

You felt a familiar feeling inside your stomach. You felt Ashton´s cock twitch inside of you, meaning he was close as well.

You released yourself, gushing all over his cock, "Mphhhh.." You mewled and he filled you up to the brim with his cum, with a deep groaning sound,almost animalistic. he pulled out of you, letting his cum spill all over the sheets.

"Give me a second." He said, getting up and going to the bathroom, retrieving some wipes to help you clean up, discarding them in a trash can next to his bed.

"Was that okay?" He smiled. "It was perfect, Ashton." You grinned, looking up at him, pulling him into a kiss.

"Jesus, y/n, you´re gonna be the death of me." He curled his lips up into the kiss.