#probably not but ill stay delusional
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i had a epiphany
#is that the joke. is that the reason that fucking dorm is like that#probably not but ill stay delusional#rei sakuma#eichi tenshouin#aira shiratori#enstars#proxys barkings
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Im gonna explode anyways Knivio Royalty AU
I CANT DRAW TODAY BUT I COULDN'T CONTAIN MY ROTS SO....SNIPPETS.....HERE...
#guys you don't understand once im stuck in a rareship I can Never get out of it#''myu ur delusional'' aND CRAZY AND OUT OF MY MIND BABEYY 🗣🗣🙏‼️🫡🙏❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥#idk i had this one crazy thought ''huh. livio could probably fix nai in terms of compatibility'' and it went downhill from then on#delete later dw ill post them again once i compile the draft comics i have. in my brain. for now i need to scream abt it#I CANT STAY SILENT RAGGHHG#myuminjidoodle#knivio
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Ahh, I'm going to the beach for a couple of weeks (will come back for christmas) so I might take my sketchbook and draw more oc stuff (since we wont have good wifi there). I can also draw more cedric and greylock, though I'd rather do it in digital, so I'll still take my drawing tablet.
#hopefully we'll manage to get a hold of the neighbor's wifi again#ill also collect seashells so I'll post pics of any cool ones I find#hmm I wonder if there'll be stf stuff in the kiosks and stores#probably stickers but hopefully more#< (delusional)#at least ill have time to relax on the beach instead of staying in my bed all day#please pray for me so that I dont get sunburnt lmao
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My mutual @writertyozzie123 asked for me to expand so now I will
Nark still wouldn’t work in a non forgotten realms world! This isn’t like some sort of dramatic doomed gays that they are to me in canon they’re mostly just not compatible. This is also taking from the angle of just how all the kids were in ep 1 so the way to the soccer game pre-any development that happens in the podcast and not assuming they’d follow similar arcs in just everyday life. So we’re using Nick Close characterization ONLY! But obvs still including characterization from the podcast bc that’s what we get so like this is what I believe they’d be like in a no forgotten realms world, so if u disagree fair enough!
Basically it boils down to me that lark in confrontational and nick is avoidant. Lark shown to take most issues head on unless he is certain he would fail and even then he doesn’t typically run away from or avoid them but instead uses whatever he has to give himself leverage. He’s smart and a little cunning and an instigator and a little shit! Nick has issues with avoidance especially emotionally. He typically distracts himself to avoid his issues or makes “white” lies to “fix” whatever issue he’s in. (Like the battle axe and wanting to ditch the other dads [which is why there quotations over white bc what not an insignificant lie]) And Nick is a people pleaser but he’s a cool people pleaser ya know bc he’s trying to make his dad think he’s cool. Basically, Lark would be a chaotic little shit and would probably annoy Nick but (in this hypothetical where they are dating so Nick is being a people pleaser to Lark) he would act like it’s nothing and never talk abt this issue, unless it came to a head. And when Lark catches Nick in a lie he will directly confront Nick who would likely avoid this or lie in a way that would “make lark happy” but lark would probably keep prodding at this issue until Nick snaps. Like two magnets pushing away! Basically they have major communication issues!! To me it’s like two people who are fine but both have shit they need to work on but they are just not compatible for each other
However Nicholas Foster and Lark!? They could work a little better? Most bc of the nature of the origin of Nicholas’s people pleasing he doesn’t care much abt social coolness but coolness to his dad which would lend itself more likely for a break away (like a teenage rebellious phase) from this and lark being this weird smart chaotic kid Nicholas has known for years (and who was a dickhead) and is a kid Nicholas knows and could be someone that could be a “bad influence” and maybe someday an actual friend. Basically they’re a little more likely to be compatible bc Nicholas does feel as much of a social pressure in school as nick so it would be easier for Nicholas to break out of people pleasing as unlike nick he’d be less scared of losing like all of his friends bc he’s no longer cool bc he was never cool
#dndads#dungeons and daddies#lark oak garcia#nick close#Nicholas foster#nark#nark nation#I feel like i phrased this like nick is the ‘big issue’ in the relationship#but that’s very wrong#bc lark is also an instigator#and would probably provoke nick or start issues bc he’s a little shit#or bc he wants to find out what would happen#basically like I said they’re both mentally ill in ways that would hurt the other so they could maybe be friends#and I very much want nark to work in a non forgotten realms world#I think like if they followed more mundane experiences that still shape them to be like they are by the end#they could maybe work#but maybe I’m just delusional#also I don’t think Nicholas and lark would really work well long term#bc lark is still an instigator in a lot of ways so unless they both help each other grow out of their issues#they should honestly just stay friends#lunarrosette’s shit#sorry if this makes no sense it’s been something microwaving in my brain and this is the best I can explain it#bc I’m trying to transfer a nark fic I wrote to a basically non forgotten realms world#also divorcing it from dndads so I can submit it to my school potentially
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#cw// ed#didnt check my weight today but it doesnt change much so its probably about the same. anyway#i keep thinking about how im at my lowest weight in 1615241616 years#and how every time ive admitted ive been at a higher weight than this#and how things seem stable day to day but over the past few months have def slowly and steadily deteriorated as far as intake + variety#and how realistically i cannot keep doing this and expect nothing to happen#but at the same time lalalalalala i cant see it i cant hear it everything is fine!! i am fine!!#going to treatment again wont fucking fix me lmao#itll just give my ed temporary validation and make me gain weight that ill lose as soon as i leave#bc I don't actually want to change#theres no point in going back bc it hasnt done anything for me thats stuck#and im not dying so whatever#if it comes to it ill do a hospital stay or whatever but it wont bc im not that good at having an ed. so.#or maybe im fucking delusional who knows!!! rip
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a bad batch
barça femeni x teen!reader
request: here
A/N: do you guys ever wonder what showers in the diff teams lockerooms look like? is it just a big room with showers and they’re all naked together or is there cubicals? if anyone knows please enlighten me
TW: Vomit, illness, swearing
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It wasn’t your fault really, it was whoever decided that the KFC given to you was actually safe to eat. Don’t they have quality managers for that? Despite it literally having feathers on it still, it was pretty meh. Not even enjoyable chicken.
That’s how you find yourself hunched over a toilet bowl, throwing up all contents of your stomach and more. You’re sweating but cold, you definitely know you have a fever or sorts but you’re uncertain how bad.
Worse thing is, training was supposed to start in 5 minutes. No way you were getting there now, not like this.
You shoot a quick message off to Jona explaining you don’t feel well and it’s probably something you ate. He replies quickly saying the usual of taking off however long is needed to get back to full recovery.
What’s the one thing you don’t consider in all this? You’re very overprotective teammates.
You end up puking more, and passing out on the bathroom floor due to exhaustion, the cool tiles feeling magical against the heat your body radiates.
- - - - -
You’re awoken by harsh knocks on your door. Your head hurts, your throat is scratchy, you’re dizzy and delusional, you feel like shit.
You stumble toward the door, opening it to see Frido and Keira.
“Jesus.” The Englishwoman says before pressing a firm hand and against your ablaze skin.
“Jona told us you said it was a light sickness? This is bad.” She says, rushing inside with the blonde Swede behind her. You were teammates with Frido on a national level as well so she took on more of a role while you settled in Barcelona.
“Come on, you shouldn’t be standing älskling (darling). Sit down, come.” She rests her hand on your back guiding you to the couch to sit down.
“Have you eaten?” She wipes away the sweaty hair away from your forehead.
“No.” You whisper softly.
“Ok, we’ll get you to eat and then into a bath ok? If we don’t get this fever down we might have to take you to a hospital.” The words compute in your mind, you don’t want a hospital. You just have to follow what the older 2 say and you’ll be fine. That’s what you tell yourself at least.
- - - - -
After eating a couple spoons of chicken broth Keira gave you, you’re taken to the bathroom and stripped into your sports bra and bike pants.
“Get in the water älskling, you’ll feel better I promise.” Frido kisses the side of your head, helping you in the bath.
It’s cold, and you do not like it.
“Frido, cold.” You whimper, trying to get out.
“I know but you have to stay. This is needed, trust me?” Her heart breaks at the sight of you in so much discomfort. But she knows it’s for the better.
You cry, along with everything else you’re feeling now, you’re cold and not allowed to move. Keira starts to stroke through your hair whispering soft words of affirmation.
“Shh bub, stop crying. You’re ok, it’s all gonna be ok.” She looks over to her teammate who is measuring your fever.
“It’s still a bit high, 37.8. Just a little longer älskling, then you can go to sleep does that sound ok to you?” You can’t even recognise her statement, only focusing on the cold your body feels.
After a couple more minutes, the girls decide you’ve had enough time to cool down so they change you into fresh pajamas, putting you to sleep in your own room before coming up with ways to hopefully get you to feel better.
- - - - -
When you wake up again a couple hours later, you feel even worse. Every body part aches and you feel the need to throw up again. So, you muster up all the energy you have and make a bee-line to the toilet.
Luckily making it in time, you spill more contents of your stomach. Someone has tied your hair back but you can’t will yourself to move.
“Hey, relax.” The accented voice says. You do as told and fall into Caroline. When did she get here? But you do as told, not wanting to feel this way any longer.
“Feel like shit.” You mumble, exhausted.
“I know, Marta and Ingrid are also here now. We will check your temperature soon ok? Right now you just need to not stress and stay here alright?” She runs her fingers up and down the sides of your torso until Ingrid comes in.
“I’ve got the thermometer. Could you open your mouth for me?” You open it without question, and she visibly cringes at the reading when she takes a look at it.
“This is not good, this isn’t normal. Look.” She shows it to her national teammate. Who also cringes.
“Tell the others to pack her stuff, get Frido here. Tell her the temperature and we need to go to the hospital.” This is when you start to worry, even in your delirious state.
There’s commotion outside the walls of your bathroom but you can’t will yourself to care, slumped against Caro hoping you’ll feel better soon.
Frido rushes inside, picking you up off the floor. She rushes to the car and gets in the backseat. In the front is Keira and Ingrid, in another car is presumably the other couple.
- - - - -
Arriving at the emergency department, you’re immediately taken to a private room where they hook you up to machines and an IV. You try to fight them, feeling too overwhelmed by the situation but Frido takes the chance to hold your hand in hopes of calming you down.
“Deep breaths älskling, it’s not too long before they’re gone.” Her words are a comfort to your ears, and she’s right because the doctors leave soon after that.
You look down at the little thermometer on your finger, showing the temperature of your skin. 41.5°.
You cringe like all the other girls who had seen it previously. Despite your hatred for hospitals, you’re happy because it means that the pain should go away sooner.
Frido has been on the phone for a bit, and she walks over to you.
“Magda wants to speak with you.” She smiles lightly, and you take the phone holding it against your ear.
“Hi Magda.” You say, voice an octave higher than usual.
“Hey little one, heard you weren’t feeling too great. Are the girls treating you right?” You hum.
“Yeah, they’re good.” She seems content with the answer.
“Ok good, we need you healthy for the next camp. Can’t have the mini star gone.” You laugh slightly at the given nickname.
“Alright pass me back to Frido, stay well and don’t do anything stupid. Please.” She begs over-dramatically.
“Come on, I’m not that bad!” You laugh, even if it made your stomach slightly hurt.
“Sure, sure. Talk to you later little one.”
“Bye Mags.” You pass it back to the older Swede and the door to your room opens revealing Mapi and Alexia.
Alexia walks over to you, concern visible between her brows. Mapi heads straight to Ingrid. (Not a surprise).
“You don’t look well at all. I’m not sure how you managed to text Jona.” You shrug, she takes a long breath.
“We’ll talk about saying how sick you actually are later, for now you should get some rest. We’ll be here when you wake up.” You do as told, quickly falling asleep without fight.
- - - - -
Over the coming days, the girls watch over you like hawks until they’re sure you’re better and you won’t snap in half at a slight gust of wind. It got annoying, but you couldn’t really say no when they were just trying to make it easier for you.
Whenever you threw up, cried in pain or overall didn’t want to do anything. One of the girls would be there to take any anguish you had away. No matter what, Barca isn’t just a team. But also a family.
—————————————————————————
sleekswosobsession: number 1 writer for cringe ending lines
anyways i need help from you anons, i have an english short story (800 word) narrative coming up but i need ideas.. i’m a writer not creative producer. but i do know that YOU have some ideas so please give it to me. these are the topics:
1. betrayal of trust
2. consequence of bad timing
3. Individual against society
(go wild but not too wild cuz i have to give it to my teacher)
#woso#woso community#woso x reader#woso fanfics#barcelona femeni#barca femeni#barcelona femeni x reader#barca femeni x reader
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〡𝓐. warner ˎˊ˗ in my eyes.
- summery: youre totally, obviously, in love with aaron warner. he just likes you—he’s fond of you. but maybe you could be more in his eyes?
- warnings: none💪
- voicemail: this was made by MIKA HERE‼️ SORRU THIS WAS SHORT ITS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY :(((( BUT ILL DO ANYTHING FOR MY MAN‼️‼️
honestly? you couldn’t help it. how could you not fall in love with AARON WARNER? you knew it was stupid—that a man like him couldn’t like you, but a girl could dream. right?
and so you stood, listening to the blond man as he explained what he was doing with the files he had in his hand. the two of you were in the office of the mansion-like home he had.
if you were honest, you just asked about it to hear him rant. he tended to go on with a rant whenever somebody asked about his work; regardless if they wanted him to stop or not. he put a file behind the other one, continuing his rant that flowed into one ear and out the other to you.
“and if we did that, the whole thing would cancel out with chaos—y/n, are you even listening?” he asked, frowning at you once he looked up.
you blinked a few times, trying to see if he caught you staring. luckily, he didn’t. “if i’m being honest?” you asked. “not really.” aaron gave you an unamused stare, shaking his head.
“then why was i telling you about my work?” he frowned. you blinked again. “because i wanted to hear you rant.” his eyes snapped up to yours and you almost regretted saying that. “i—i’m mostly the one who rants a lot, so i wanted you to be the ranter for once.”
he stared at you with a gaze you couldn’t decipher. he hummed before looking back down at his files. “well, i did rant, so you’re welcome.”
“yeah, yeah. thank you, aaron,” you said sarcastically.
you could’ve sworn he paused, breathing in a sharp breath. but he continued as if he didn’t do it at all. maybe he didn’t and you were being delusional; again. you silently cursed yourself.
to break the awkward silence, you started to hum a random song you listened to before as he began to continue his work.
it stayed like that, for a while. you, sitting across from him—now laying your face beside his lap—, humming, and him, doing his paperwork, silently chuckling whenever you missed a beat or you messed up.
it was when the now comfortable atmosphere turned into a quiet one did he looked down at you beside him.
“why’d you stop?” he asked with a frown. you looked up at him, looking into his emerald eyes. your heart skipped a beat but it wasn’t the time for that right now.
“hm?” you hummed in question. he slightly furrowed his eyebrows. “you stopped humming.” your mouth turned into the shape of a small o whenever you understood.
you shrugged your shoulders before simply answering. “i just wanted to.”
“well then start again.”
“what if i don’t want to?”
“well then i’ll force you to.”
his eyes furrowed again, now in frustration, making you let out a small giggle. “alright, aaron,” you mumbled, smiling at him.
the man stared down at you, pausing. your smile slowly faded as you started to hum, closing your eyes again.
you felt his gaze on you for a while before it went away, probably to focus back on his work.
you wouldn’t lie that it made you feel all giddy inside.
now, aaron warner knew he liked you. he liked you way more than other people, actually. but the flutter in his stomach and the urge to adore you more and more was growing stronger.
was it just a liking towards you, or no?
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 @reminiscentreader @nqds @flowers-for-em @tornqdowarnings @sophiesonlinediary @imaseabear @alwaysthefangirl (click here to be added to my taglist! <3)
#⭑ belles drabbles#⭑ belle loves aaron#aaron warner x fem!y/n#aaron warner x you#aaron warner anderson#aaron warner x y/n#aaron warner x reader#aaron warner#aaron warner x fem!reader
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Most traditional boxing instructors will tell you that if the opponent is taller than you, has longer arms than you, or is heavier than you, you're fucked and you need to stay extremely aware and work really hard to compensate for all the advantage he has over you.
In a recent forensic survey, it was determined that most traditional boxing instructors who get into real world altercations die when they're shot in the head.
This is the problem with a lot of these kinds of arguments. No one practices traditional boxing. At least, no one does so publicly. How do I know this? Because traditionally boxers fought in the nude. Yeah, we're not seeing that, are we? Now, maybe they meant bare knuckle boxing, but really no one does that either, these days. Boxing without safety equipment is not a particularly good idea, for fairly obvious reasons.
The only reason the word, “traditional,” is in the ask is to lend their statement unearned credibility. It's an attempt to make their statement sound more authoritative, without offering any evidence to support the statement.
Who said that?
“Traditional people did.”
Okay, but, 'traditionally,' people cleaned shit off their ass with a stick. So, maybe appealing to Hellenic sports isn't the best gauge of how a fight will play out.
Also, I know I just said it, but, who are these authoritative sports guys? Because they're not named. We're simply told, “most,” of them agree. Which starts to sound a lot like “four out of five dentists agree.” Who are these instructors? What do they teach? Why are the currently in prison for indecent exposure? And how much did you pay them to get their uninformed opinion? Salient questions which may need to be answered, if the original question wasn't invalid on its face.
Why do I say it's invalid?
Because boxing isn't fighting.
Boxing is a sport.
Boxing has rules.
Kick your opponent in the groin, or shin, and you're punished.
Step on their foot, push them, and watch them tumble to the ground before you start stomping on them, and you'll be punished.
Throwing your opponent will be punished.
And of course, as mentioned at the top, pulling out a gun and expanding your opponent's mental horizons is extremely frowned upon.
These are all things that can happen in a real fight.
These are all things that do not benefit from increased height or reach.
There is one genuinely accurate statement. In a fight, you do need to be very aware of what's going on around you. Everything else is the product of someone who's been punched in the head repeatedly until the CTEs got them thinking that boxing is analogous to a real fight in any way. (And, statistically, will probably end their career sitting in a jail cell over an aggravated assault charge, because their emotional self-control was completely destroyed by those same head injuries.)
The rules that boxers need to follow are designed to (somewhat) protect the participants. It reduces the dangers of a boxer being killed in the ring. In an observation that I would hope to be self-evident, those rules don't exist in actual combat.
It's also amusing, because the original Asker had to go so far as to single out an ill-defined, “traditional” boxing, because no other martial art they checked gave them the soundbite they wanted.
And, of course, women box. Historically, you could say, “traditionally,” there were even boxing matches between men and women. It wasn't until the 1880s that women were excluded from competitive boxing in the UK. (I'm not sure of the exact date when women were banned from boxing in the US, though that prohibition lasted for less than a century, before the modern return of women to the sport.)
So, either these “traditional instructors” don't know the history of their own sport... which doesn't sound particularly “traditional” to me, or they're full of shit.
My advice to everyone would be, maybe, don't take the advice of a sports coach about how he's secretly an absolute badass in all the delusional fantasies he's cooked up about how he'd like to inflict violence on others because they wouldn't date him.
-Starke
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Yandere strawhats hcs with a reader who won’t succumb to stockholm syndrome who’s fighting to get back home to her island. ( if that’s to much maybe just Nami and Luffy please if that’s ok with you ? )
I decided to do separate HCs/reactions as I wasn't sure exactly what you wanted? Hope you enjoy ^^; I wanted to do a section for Usopp, Zoro, and Sanji... but you probably meant the entire crew so I stuck to the two you said.
Sorry these are short! I focused on reactions
Yandere! Nami + Luffy with Darling resisting
Pairing: Romantic/Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Clingy behavior, Stockholm syndrome, Isolation, Overprotective behavior, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Forced companionship/relationship.
Monkey D. Luffy
Luffy probably doesn't even do Stockholm Syndrome on purpose.
Let alone really know about it much (To my knowledge?)?
I mean... He wishes you'd stop fighting, yes.
Although he prefers to see you stop fighting him like you're willingly complying to his care.
In reality, he's accidentally broken you mentally.
He definitely doesn't understand what he did.
Although if he did, there would be some guilt.
Like I've stated in previous Luffy works, he's oblivious to his actions.
No matter how invasive.
He doesn't get why you fight him.
You keep saying you didn't want to come with them, that you didn't want to travel.
You keep saying you miss home.
Yet Luffy doesn't know why?
Wasn't life on your island boring?
When his crew stayed there for a couple days, you seemed to get along fine with him.
But now you're all upset?
Luffy may even think you're sick, bringing you to Chopper to have you checked.
In reality, you aren't the sick one.
It's either just Luffy... or the entire crew.
Luffy breaks you due to being oblivious, dragging you along with him on adventures as you slowly lose hope.
He's just so clingy and insists on you staying at the ship.
He always wants your attention, often claiming the rest of the crew care about you.
So why do you keep running off?
Luffy has had shipmates run off on him.
More often than you'd think, actually....
He may just think you have some sort of issue he needs to help resolve like the rest!
You're trying to run and find help on an island, maybe some way to home.
Only for Luffy to be around looking for you, claiming to others you're just a bit... sick.
He isn't entirely lying.
Luffy just thinks you want to go home because you're ill and need rest on the boat.
Completely ignoring the fact he dragged you on the ship to make you a new member of the crew... against your better judgment.
Luffy refuses to acknowledge your feelings on the matter most of the time, making you upset.
Why would he?
He's showing you adventure and companionship!
He wants you to be there as he becomes King of The Pirates!
He can't seem to let you go and just doesn't understand your escape attempts.
Eventually, unfortunately, you may end up succumbing at some point.
Soon you'll realize it's fruitless, that Luffy will never see reason.
Especially when he tells you, a runway woman, that you're a pirate just like him!
Which only turns people away or makes you targeted.
Fighting just becomes... tiring.
The moment you give in and help the crew, giving up and maybe even helping Luffy out of danger...
That's when he gives a wide grin, finally realizing you're no longer sick!
He praises you, all excited.
In a way you even begin to love and care for him in your own way once it's forced into you.
Now you can adventure with the crew properly... and he'll NEVER leave your side!
Nami
Nami is someone who's more aware of Stockholm syndrome.
Although at first I feel she'd be against it.
She understands your want to escape, especially if the whole crew is obsessive.
In fact, it reminds her of her own past at times.
Not EXACTLY of course, but the want to escape and feeling imprisoned?
She understands that.
That would be why she's hesitant about it or is very sympathetic.
I imagine if the whole crew was obsessive over this one woman, Nami would at first seem comforting.
She's sympathetic and caring, even if you keep trying to escape.
Although your attempts REALLY get on her nerves.
Nami is shown to view the crew as family.
Which means she views you as family.
While she isn't oblivious to what her actions will accomplish, she can't bring herself to let you go.
She tries hard to make you feel welcome and cared for on the ship.
You're both women so surely you should feel better now that you have female company, right.
Unfortunately, no, you still run away whenever you can.
You keep trying to ask others for help, claiming the Strawhats are kidnappers.
Yet, Nami knows how to swing the odds in her favor with words.
She's used to manipulating people.
So Nami may just retrieve you by saying you're overwhelmed, that you two are close and you're always like this.
She does it all with a smile even if she's laying, dragging you back to the crew as she scolds you.
Nami is both the most understanding yet also strict with you.
Her biggest fear is her family being torn apart since the lost her family once already.
Which drives her to force you by her side and even coddle you at times.
She tries to show vulnerability towards you, she tries to show you she loves you.
Yet you keep trying to leave.
Eventually Nami may convince you against fleeing by locking you in the boat, probably in the sleeping quarters.
She can be tolerant...but she can also be easily annoyed.
You plead with her to let you go home, that you miss your home!
Yet Nami seems like the type of yandere to just grin while she pulls you closer with a sigh...
Then she tells you the ship and the crew on it are your home and family.
This is where you belong.
This is where you need to be.
Then she'll just hug you, mumbling about how you need to move on from the past.
It's heartbreaking, you thought Nami would help you get out of this situation.
Unfortunately, she doesn't...
Which makes you lose hope since she seems the most... rational.
Eventually, when you break down due to feeling hopeless and isolated...
Nami's there to comfort you.
She tells you over and over again she cares... she loves you...
You can trust her, she's family.
While you don't want to... she and the rest of the crew is all you have...
This makes you give up... and maybe even love her in return...
Which makes her adore you even more now that you've given in.
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I have covid (for the first time ever wtf) and I’m feeling sick and pathetic. Just thinkin’ bout how I have to take care of myself and I hate it. How do you think sugar daddy Joel would take care of our sugar baby reader without spending any money if she got Covid or the flu??
I need some fluff to get me thru. PS I love u and your writing so flipping much.
Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x F!Reader
Word Count: 1.1k
Warnings: mentions of illness, reader can eat chicken noodle soup, reader has hair that can be brushed away from her face
Timeline: this does not fit into the current TCOY story line and is just a separate drabble in the same universe!
[a/n: first of all, OH NO. I know how bad COVID sucks. (fun fact I've had it on five separate occasions, I basically collect a new round of it every time a new strain runs through our hospital). Please please please make sure you stay hydrated above all else! Obviously I don't know your medical history, but the best general advice is to not get dehydrated. Your body needs fluids to fight the good battle. second, I love YOU and I know this isn't much and it's not that great b/c I threw it together in fifteen minutes but I hope it makes you feel a little better, my love💜]
TCOY DRABBLE:
HOMEMADE IS BETTER THAN STORE BOUGHT
"happiness is homemade."
“Baby girl, I need you to sit up for me.” Joel hummed.
You were buried in the thick comforter of his bed feeling absolutely miserable. The cold had come on suddenly. A small cough, more irritating than anything else, spiraled into full body aches, a splitting migraine, and congestion so bad that it felt like your head was filled with concrete. Joel’s heavy hand brushed aside the hair matted to your forehead with dried sweat. Your fever was lingering last Joel checked, but the Nyquil he forced you to take with a bottle of water earlier was helping some.
Joel murmured your name once more and you just moaned in response. You felt the bed dip with his weight and his hand dragged up and down your back. The motion brought with it a comfort on par with medication itself.
“You think you can eat somethin', sugar?” Joel asked.
“Maybe later.” You mumbled. “Sleepy.”
“That’s probably the Nyquil.” Joel replied. “I sent Riley to pick up some stuff from the store.”
You felt Joel lean over and his lips brushed against your temple. You shook your head, “You’re gonna get sick. I should quarantine alone.” You buried yourself deeper into his bed. With your nose stuffed like it was, you couldn’t smell his sheets and that bothered you more than it probably should’ve. “Don’t you have that meeting today too?”
“If you think I’m leavin' you like this, sugar, then that fever’s got you delusional.” Joel snorted. You felt the covers you had bundled yourself in begin to untangle and a whine that could only be described as pathetic slipped your lips. Before you knew it though, Joel was under the thick comforter with you and you felt yourself get pulled into his warm chest. “C’mon, baby girl. Sleep it off.”
You snuggled closer into his grip and focused on the random patterns he was rubbing on your shoulder with his hand. As a human, this was obviously not the first time you had gotten sick, but something about this time felt different. With Joel’s thick arms wrapped around you it dawned on you that it was him. The last time you were sick you were forced to take care of yourself and work through it. Having your sugar daddy around made you needy as all hell it seemed, but the comfort Joel immediately showed you had you melting against his chest.
“When I wake up, can I have soup?” You blurted the words out, half asleep.
Before sleep took you completely, you heard Joel’s deep chuckle, felt it rumble against you, “Sugar, you can have anythin' you want.”
When you woke up, you did feel marginally better. Joel was no longer in bed with you and you slowly sat up to rub at your face. You craved a hot shower to wash off the sweat and open your sinuses a bit more. A groan left your lips, still feeling crummy, and you began to climb out of bed.
“Whoa, whoa, pump the brakes.” Joel called out. He came into the room holding a tray and you chuckled at the sight of him. He set the tray down on the nightstand to usher you back into bed. “Where do you think you’re goin'?”
You gave him a tired smile, “Shower. I feel icky.”
“Icky?” Joel asked and you nodded. He chuckled and leaned forward to press his lips on your forehead again. He sat back and rubbed a hand against your leg. “Think you can stomach somethin' first?” You nodded again and Joel grabbed the tray. It looked like a bowl of chicken noodle soup, but not the kind that came out of a can of Campbell’s. “Here we go.”
You tilted your head, “Where’d you buy the soup?”
“Didn’t.” Joel grinned. “Made it.”
“You made it??”
“Uh huh.” It was honestly adorable how proud he looked of it. “Homemade is better than store bought, right? Gets you better quicker.”
You laughed, “I’m not so sure about the science behind that.”
“No, no. When I googled the recipe it definitely said this would get you better faster.” Joel teased.
You picked up the spoon and carefully blew the heat away before bringing it to your lips. The first thing you tasted was salt. A lot of salt. Too much salt. You coughed in response and tried not to twist your face to reveal the reaction. You cleared your throat and smiled, “Yum.”
Joel furrowed his brow, “What’s wrong? No good?”
“No. It’s⏤ It’s good.” You said quickly. “It’s… I like the, uh, the…”
Joel grabbed the spoon from your fingers to take a sip himself and he immediately spluttered with a cough and groan, “What the fuck is that?” Your lips twitched up into another smile. “That tastes awful. Jesus Christ. Gimme that.”
He took the tray from you and set it on the nightstand again away from you. You set a hand on the side of your face while watching his face crumple into a grumpy look of annoyance. You shook your head, “What did it taste like as you were making it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. While you were making it did it taste okay?” You clarified. Joel narrowed his eyes at you in thought and you tilted your head. “…Did you taste it while making it?”
“You’re supposed to eat it while you make it??”
You laughed, “Not eat. Just taste.”
“Shit.” Joel scoffed. “I ate some of the chicken and it was good.” You reached out and cupped his face. He looked annoyed with himself, but at your touch the grumpy demeanor morphed into a soft look of concern and disappointment. Joel sighed and turned his head to press a kiss to your palm before leaning into your touch again. “I’m so sorry, sugar. Just wanted to do somethin' nice for you myself rather than just buy…”
You shook your head, “This was nice. I loved it.”
“There is no way you loved that soup. It was just salt, damn it.”
“No, but I love that you tried.” You replied. “It’s the effort that counts.”
“That’s just what people say when they fuck up.” He grumbled.
You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose, “You said the homemade version would make me feel better, and this has definitely made me feel better, daddy.”
Joel wrapped his hand around the back of your neck and stared softly for a moment before his smile returned. “You missed my lips, sugar.”
“I already told you. I’m icky.”
“Don’t care. Still want you.”
“You are already pushing your luck.” You scoffed in amusement. “You are gonna end up sick.”
Joel pulled you closer, and even at full strength you’d never be capable of refusing this man. He paused with his lips just barely touching yours. “I’ll risk it.” Joel’s lips sealed against yours tenderly. A soft kiss of comfort rather than of passion. A wordless act of reassurance that he was there. Joel’s tongue just barely brushed against yours before he leaned back and left you wanting more. He hummed, “You taste like salt.”
“Yeah, gee, I wonder whose fault that is.”
#joel miller#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us#sugar daddy!joel miller x reader#sugar daddy!joel miller#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#take care of you
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Enter Our Three Ring Show of Freaks✲*٭˙∘
BSD Men headcanons
WARNINGS!!!; DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT! Cannibalism, pyromaniac, w33d addiction, stalking, addiction, sensitive topics, mental illness, anorexia, obsessive etc.
Description; uncanon but reasonable headcanons w BSD chracters
A/N; Just a quick drabble. This is NOT. me making fun/joking about mental illnesses/addictions this is me putting uncanon headcanons on BSD chracters, if you're disturbed by this, block me or scroll!
Pyromaniac!Chuuya Nakahara - Chuuya isn't the one to let most of the intrusive thoughts of setting things on fire but sometimes they get the better of him but it doesn't cause mass destruction. (The habbit is worse during corruption and the habbit most likely started from said corruption.)
W33dAddiction!Edgar Allan Poe - He smokes constantly while writing his mystery novels. It started the time when Ranpo escaped the book he was working on for years straight, the smokes to relieve and built up stress.
Stalker!Akutugawa Ryūnosuke - he isn't one of those creepy stalkers that breaks into your house just to steal clothing or taking things you threw away, he's more tame. Taking secret photos of you when he sees you etc. (Specifically taking them with piliroid cameras)
Cannibal!Nikolai Gogol - He definitely eats human remains in front of you but he never dares to cross your boundaries of what you're not comfortable. He sometimes asks what would happen if he tried to eat you but it was always just for laughs. The only thing that would come close to "eating" would be the soft bites and nibbles he'd put on your body.
Priest!Fyodor Dostoevsky - Priest never go against their Gods words even if it was desire. No matter how many times you would confess your undeniable love for him and all the sick twisted fantasies you had of him in the confession booth, he couldn't recuperate the feelings since he was the priest of the church but he knew he couldn't deny any feeling he did have for you.
Obsessive!Dazai Osamu - Hes WAY manipulative when it comes to things like you venting your feelings. If you were ever upset with someone he'd manipulate you into thinking you only ever needed him and nobody else that was how his charm worked. Hold you close and never let go, cherishing you every second of the day to make you only want him.
ManicDepression!Sigma - He could be stressed out and yelling to a soft and cuddly guy but it depends on how severe things get. Things get hectic in the sky casino, Sigma's drastic mood swings not helping as he can go to yelling at someone before apologizing for his actions on how he will never do it again.
Psychopathic!Jono Saigiku - Jono isn't one of those violent or aggressive pshycopaths but he can tend to be very manipulative. When it comes to being empathetic, he doesn't understand too much about one's feelings but he is good at brushing them off even if said person is begging for help(advice/support).
Schizophrenic!Ace - He's quite literally delusional (going back to the scene were fyodor manipulated him into offing himself) His thoughts can get jumbled and disorganized when most likely proved wrong. His mental state would most likely deteriorating and breaking into fragments (a sense of mental fragmentation)
Anorexia nervosa/ED!Lovecraft - I'm not saying out of all EDS he had anorexia but it's possible. He's more self-conscious of the way his body looks and he probably just sleeps to much and forgets to eat.
Insomniac!Katai - He definitely stays up all night snuggled in that comforter of his constantly browsing the internet. But not only just staying up, he definitely has multiple sleep paralysis demons that haunt him when he tries sleeping.
Narcissistic!Ivan - He absolutely NEEDS. to be seen and admired (specifically from fyodor) He's self-centered and obsessed over self-importance. He doesn't seem to care for anyone but himself (and fyodor cause that's canon.)
OCD!Kunikida - He's absolutely obsessed with his ideals and being organized. If something in his schedule goes a miss or someone cancels on him he has to fix EVERYTHING. In his head he has to have the perfect schedule or the entire day will be fucking over and he wont know what to do in the next following hours.
#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungō stray dogs#bsd headcannons#bsd headcanons#bsd chuuya#bsd edgar allan poe#bsd akutagawa#bsd nikolai#bsd fyodor#bsd dazai#bsd sigma#bsd jouno#bsd ace#bsd lovecraft#bsd katai#bsd ivan#bsd kunikida#mental illness#dead dove do not eat#osamu dazai#fyodor dostoevsky#gogol nikolai#chuuya nakahara#headcanons
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Round 7 Predictions
Since we’re only halfway through Alien Stage, I don’t think there will be a Round 7 winner.
There’s a ton of material Q and V could get into if both Till and Luka survive in some way or another. I also think there’s still a lot more left to learn about the lore of Alien Stage as a competition and how the whole system functions for the competition part to end so quickly.
I think Till will be rescued by the rebels at some point, either before or during Round 7. He’ll get to reconnect with Mizi, see how much she’s changed, and hopefully come to see her as less of a godly savior and more of a person.
Freeing Till would also force him to confront his own wants and dreams beyond escaping the competition and taking Mizi with him. What does Till want out of life now that both he and Mizi are free? How does he process all of the shit that went down in the previous rounds, especially Round 6?
As for Luka I think one of two things will happen: (1) he won’t be rescued by the rebels at all or (2) he’s offered the opportunity to leave with them but he refuses.
The second option is definitely more interesting as it will tell us more about Luka’s mindset, but also Hyuna’s if she can choose whether or not a rescue attempt is made for him. It would possibly give us insight into how they feel about each other given the current circumstances.
Either way, I don’t think Luka will leave Alien Stage or rebel against the aliens.
What would be his reason to? He’s the face of the whole competition. His status within the alien society has provided him with a lot of access that he could possibly not be able to live without, given his chronic illnesses.
But more than that, I think he’ll stay for personal reasons. Fame? Accolades? Ego? Maybe a mix of all three? Or perhaps some long buried guilt or remorse? There’s still a lot we don’t know about his feelings and motivations.
Personally I think he’s too interesting of a character to kill off so soon (a.k.a. I want to study him under a microscope).
Now this next part is me being delusional, so I’m putting it under the cut.
So,
If Till is rescued before Round 7 starts, that leaves Luka as the winner by default. But that’d probably be pretty boring as a finale for the audience.
How do they spice things up? By healing/reviving Ivan and putting him up against Luka.
Think about it: they’re both insanely popular in-universe, they’re somewhat equally matched in terms of singing ability, and they’re both considered pretty boys.
Think of the fashion! Think of the theatrics!! The material is LITERALLY. RIGHT. THERE.
In my opinion they’re two of the most complex characters in the cast, but they haven’t had much (if any) direct interaction with one another. I’d like to see how their similarities and differences stack up once they’re side by side, and what that tells us about each of them.
They’re also both weirdos (in their own ways), so putting them head to head would be the ultimate Freak (derogatory) vs. Freak (affectionate) final showdown.
And if Ivan were to win, he would essentially take over Luka’s role as the face of Alien Stage. How would that affect him personally? What would he do with his life after?
If he learns that Till managed to escape with the rebels, would Ivan still want to escape on his own? Or would he be content to stay put with the knowledge that Till is free?
Similar to Till with Mizi, who is Ivan beyond helping and supporting Till? What are his hopes and dreams?
I went more in depth about how Ivan could potentially be brought back and what ramifications it could have on the story depending on how it’s done in this post, if anyone wants to read that.
#*writes predictions that could possibly happen*#“okay here’s how ivan is alive truthers can still win—’’#at this point i need ivan alive for purely selfish reasons#but also luka and ivan having a cunt-off would have me foaming at the mouth#think of the potential#alien stage#alien stage round 7#alien stage ivan#alien stage till#alien stage mizi#alien stage luka#alien stage hyuna#alnst#alnst round 7#alnst mizi#alnst till#alnst luka#alnst hyuna#alnst ivan#ivanttakethis talks too much
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unrequited marylene marlene’s pov where she writes about it
requested by @nyx-taylors-version
This is stupid i dont even know why im doing this but Lily said it would help so here we are. I like mary.
That didnt help and lily is a dirty liar
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she smiled at me today and called me over, i dont want anyone but her to say my name ever again
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there’s a party tonight in the tower, i’m going with Mary as friends. It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. But then again, you never know, mary’s never said she’s straight explicitly! Lily says im being delusional but a girlie’s gotta be a little crazy sometimes
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she likes a boy. Im not a boy. Ill be okay, it’s just a silly crush she means everything to me
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im need to get over Mary i can’t go on like this it hurts too much, every time she smiles at me a knife twists in my gut and im winded for a second and i hate it
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she’s leaving. Shes leaving hogwarts. Her family is leaving for america to avoid the war i cant i dont how can i i dont care.
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is it wrong to wish i’d never met her? To wish i never had the chance to fall in love like her? Probably but she’s anyway so it doesnt matter. I wish she wasnt leaving
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she’s leaving today and i feel like im dying, everyone’s crying but i just can’t make myself, what’s wrong with me? My best friend is leaving for another continent and i can’t even being myself to shed a tear or two
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shes gone. she left and i couldnt even look her in the eye. she was sobbing and it killed me to see her upset but i coulnd’t do anything but hug her and wish i lived in a universe where Mary Macdonald didnt like boys
and now she’s gone, and a part of me left with her.
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i miss her
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three years later, 1981
mary, hi
marlene here, of course you’ll know that because of my shitty handwriting, mary i
everything’s gone to shit mary, lily and jamss are in hiding dorcas is dead gone and i miss you. Please come back don’t come back Mary its too dangerous, it would kill me if anything happened to you, you probably shouldn’t even reply to this, they’re checking all owls coming into the country, it really is a shit show over here
and mary, if anything happens to me, you’re my best friend in this world, i would do anything for you so please do this for me
stay away from britain. stay away from the war, get yourself the fuck away from all of this, even further than where you are now and live your life safely, please, i cant lose you
i have to go, peter’s knocking and it seems important
live a good life Mary Macdonald
love from
marlene
x
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19th july 1981
the mckinnon’s were found dead early this morning by sirius black
We at the daily prophet extend our condolences to the friends and family members left behind.
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Hello! I am trying to create a character with schizoaffective disorder, but I do not have this disorder myself and thought asking people who actually experience psychosis (cause that is what I am looking into specifically right now) would be better for learning than asking Google lol
I saw your post that said a person experiencing delusions is actually in those delusions; I think one of the examples you used was you are the reincarnation of Christ? I was just wondering if there is a way for a second person to help them out of these delusions? Or how a second person can support them during these delusions? I hope I am wording this right; for reference, this character is going to get a boyfriend and I want to understand how to write their boyfriend interacting with them when they are experiencing delusions
(sorry if any of this was worded rudely in anyway and please feel free to correct me if it was; I am trying to learn here so that would actually be helpful!)
Thank you!!!
Hi there! Firstly I think it’s really cool that you’re writing a character with schizoaffective disorder. And I appreciate you reaching out for advice as well.
A second person can be a tremendous help to someone experiencing delusions. But they have to be careful with how they interact with a delusional person. Before I go over how to do that, the first thing that needs to be established is whether or not someone is actually experiencing a delusion. There are some obvious delusions, such as claiming to be Jesus Christ or the president of the United States. But some people will also believe things that are probable, like that someone is stalking them, that they’re terminally ill, or that they know a famous person. Find out if they’re delusional first, and you can usually do that by asking questions or respectfully asking for proof.
Then once you’re certain you’re dealing with a delusion, you can figure out how to interact with them. You of course don’t want to endorse the delusion or feed into it. But you don’t want to outright tell them they’re wrong either. The best thing to do is stay unbiased and neutral about the delusion. Keep in mind that the delusional person’s claims are based on their reality, which often contradicts objective reality. So arguing with a delusional person about what’s real and what’s not won’t really get you anywhere.
Let’s say a delusional person claims they are the president of the United States. You obviously don’t want to agree with them, as that would drive them further into the delusion, and also you would be lying to them. But simply saying “no you’re not” isn’t very helpful either. The goal is to try and remain as neutral as possible about their delusion, neither confirming nor denying it outright. But if you must challenge it, do so with respect. Don’t make snide or sarcastic comments. Don’t be accusatory or aggressive. Just give the person a gentle nudge back to objective reality.
And of course, this is all just my opinion on how to interact with a delusional person. There may be other schizospecs who disagree, or who think playing along with a delusion is the better option. But as someone who has had delusions in the past, I found it most helpful when people stuck with facts and objective reality. It certainly helped me to break out of the delusions sooner. And once I did recover from them, I appreciated the people who were patient and gentle with me rather than the ones who tried to argue with me about what’s real and what’s not.
Also, a few years ago I stumbled across a video of an MHT talking about how he interacts with delusional people. I found this video to be really helpful and informative, and maybe you will too.
Good luck with writing your characters!
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I saw the ask about Jonathan and I got to know, how does your Jonathan feel about Jervis?
thank you for askign!! my jon and jervis are both very good friends ::) jonathans initial reason for gettign close to jervis was for research - jonathan was fascinated by the idea of someone who was so averse to fear, he came up with a whole delusional partner and world to retreat to to avoid feeling it. he finds the lengths some minds will go to avoid feeling fear incredibly interesting. jonathan tries to tell himself that that motivation has stayed the same, but if hes honest with himself he knows that now he just likes being around jervis for company. if he was extra honest with himself he would know he likes jervis' company a bit more than just a friend probably should, but hes not quite at that point yet lol ill def go more in depth on their relationship later but i didnt want to drown you in text so i did my best to keep it short!! to all those who read, thank you ::3
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nice try || SSKK sickfic
ao3! 7.1k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2023, day 7: "you're a jerk when you're sick"
Atsushi really doesn’t think Akutagawa should be on this mission. He's already the most difficult person in the world to work with, but he's somehow even more stubborn and rude when he's ill.
"We don't need the two of us waiting here or the informant. Go ahead and head back to your agency," Akutagawa grumbles, stepping back into the shade with his arms crossed over his chest. He coughs twice, only briefly covering his mouth, likely thinking Atsushi didn’t notice.
Atsushi huffs. He moves so he's standing in front of him and puts his hands on his hips to show he's staying where he is, but even while he's in Akutagawa's view, the latter's avert him completely.
"Dazai told us both to stay here in case they cross us," Atsushi huffs. "You want to go against his orders?"
"You're far too incompetent. Even if they were to betray us, I could easily handle a traitor on my own,” Akutagawa huffs. He’s so delusional that he thinks Dazai would praise him for something like that. Atsushi doesn’t even want to think about the scary face Dazai would make if he found out Akutagawa did something like he’s suggesting.
“Well, I’m not leaving, so suck it up,” Atsushi tells him, leaning against the wall beside him, a safe distance away in case he tries to do something.
Akutagawa looks like he wants to say something back, but instead a hand comes up to cover his mouth as he starts to cough again. Atsushi is used to that by now, but today, it sounds worse. It sounds hoarse, like it’s been happening more than usual and his throat is sore from the strain., but it sounds deeper too. Not like the usual dainty coughs he’s used to hearing from him. His shoulders are nearly hunched over as he coughs into his hand.
Atsushi has learned not to say anything. He really doesn’t have any idea why he coughs all the time. Maybe he’s a smoker, maybe he’s got a sensitive throat - it’s anyone’s guess, but he knows that if he ever bothered to ask, Akutagawa would not give him a straight answer.
Atushsi takes note of how Akutagawa checks his hand as he pulls it back from his mouth. Strange. He crosses his arms back over his chest.
“Do you want some water or something?” Atsushi asks, sounding a little more accusatory than he means to.
“No, but it’d be nice if you would let me decapitate you,” Akutagawa mumbles in a soft voice. He almost sounds out of breath.
"You're a real jerk when you're sick. You know that?" Atsushi huffs.
"I think you've said this today already," Akutagawa says, rolling his eyes. "Come up with something else."
"I take it back, you're actually a jerk all the time. You're just more of a jerk when you're sick,” Atsushi groans. He’s so over it. He wants to call Dazai and ask if he really needs to be here. He highly doubts most foes need a team as combative as the two of them. Akutagawa probably could handle it on his own, but Dazai wants the two of them to work together, for some reason.
"I'm not sick. Stop saying that,” Akutagawa murmurs. “It’s just this ocean air.”
Atsushi doesn't even feel like arguing with him anymore. Akutagawa is so frustratingly stubborn, it's unbelievable. Atsushi knows he’s sick. He can see the sweat along his hairline from here, even six feet away, but he’s shivering. There’s a bit of a breeze from the ocean on the ship, but not enough to make someone shiver, even though they’re in the middle of fall.
"When is he supposed to get here?" Atsushi huffs.
"I don't know,” Akutagawa says simply.
“Okay, then I’m gonna look around the boat. Just yell if you need something,” Atsushi mumbles.
“I will most certainly not be doing that,” Akutagawa says, rolling his eyes.
Atsushi wants to kick him in the neck.
He decides to spend some time looking around the docked boat, for no reason other than the fact that he’s bored waiting and he doesn’t want to waste more precious seconds of his life talking to Akutagawa.
It’s unremarkable. The boat is called The Hellscreen, which is a scary name for something that just sails the seas. It’s a yacht, he’s been told, or rather very rudely informed by Akutagawa. Atsushi doesn’t know the first the about boats. He just knows this one is fancy, and they’re waiting for the captain to arrive, to hand off important information relevant to both the Port Mafia boss and Fukuzawa, information Atsushi and Akutagawa aren’t allowed to know the details of.
All they were instructed to do was wait for him, take the envelope, and in case they are suspicious of the captain in any way, they were to detain him until backup arrived. Simple enough, for Atsushi, anyway.
Atsushi sort of wants to dip without saying anything, but they were ordered not to kill, and even though he’s already made a promise not to, Atsushi isn’t sure he trusts him.
A half hour or so passes, and Atushsi finds nothing of interest. He only manages to meet back with Akutagawa because he lost track over which parts of the yacht he’s already explored.
Akutagawa is leaning on the railing of the yacht when Atsushi returns, the shade having extended that far, by now. Atsushi is thrown off, seeing Akutagawa look so weirdly casual. He’s sure he hasn’t relaxed a day in his life. But then, he notices the tension in his shoulders.
Atsushi's taken note of how his breaths have become labored and forced. That's not right, he knows that for sure. He seemed a little short of breath earlier when he was talking, but Atsushi didn’t pay much mind to that until now.
He's sort of thrown for a loop when Akutagawa suddenly leans over the railing to vomit into the water. It’s followed by a series of harsh sounding coughs, ones that somehow sound worse than before. Atsushi almost say something, but the coughing turns into choking and sputtering, and he throws up again. It sounds painful. He ducks his head into his arms with a pained groan, and Atsushi can’t help but notice that breaths still don’t sound any better.
"Are you - are you okay?" Atsushi asks. He’s not sure he should be asking.
"It's motion sickness,” Akutagawa bites, not lifting his head. Atsushi watches his shoulders shake. “Stop talking to me."
"You don’t have to stay on the boat,” Atsushi murmurs. It’s not that he feels bad or anything, but it’s just inconvenient for him to be here if it’s making him sick, he thinks. That’s all. “You can wait on the dock. I’ll stay here.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Weretiger,” Akutagawa growls.
Atsushi takes a few steps close to him, thinking he might end up regretting it. Akutagawa is trembling, he realizes. He’s in pain. Something’s not right. “I’m just saying. It might be better anyway, maybe you can keep watch from the dock, or -”
“I told you,” Akutagawa starts, venom lacing his tone before he whips his head up and turns to face Atsushi a little too quickly, he’ll soon find out, “don’t -”
Atsushi could have seen it coming a mile away with how fast he moved his head, but he watches his eyes roll back and his knees bucking underneath him, and Atsushi isn’t a horrible person. Maybe Akutagawa would have let Atsushi fall on his face if their roles were reversed, but he can’t let that happen for him. He catches him, fully expecting Akutagawa to shout or attack as soon as he regains consciousness, which must be any second now.
But he’s silent, and completely still, even after the mental ten seconds Atsushi gives him to recover. Akutagawa’s labored breaths land against his chest as Atsushi lowers the both of them to the ground.
Shit. He's completely unconscious. He’s not showing any sign of waking up. Atsushi thought it was maybe just a head rush, but he really, actually passed out.
"Akutagawa?" Atsushi mumbles. It comes out like a squeak. He lays him down on the deck, sliding him down from his arms, so he's lying on his side. He's afraid to move him at all, worried Akutagawa might decapitate him without a moment's notice, but he receives no reaction, no attempt at trying to move, let alone get up and bark back at him.
Atsushi still has a hand on his shoulder, worried he might roll forward into his face, and he can feel his hot skin burning even through his coat. He’s absolutely ridiculous for wearing a coat like this when he so obviously has a fever, but his body shivers gently like he's cold. He should probably take it off of him, but he needs to reevaluate his situation.
“Please don't kill me," Atsushi groans to himself as he scoops an arm under Akutagawa's knees and the other under his neck, with little to no reaction from him other than a tiny, pathetic grunt. Atsushi is so tense that the effort hurts, but he thinks he has every reason to be. He's holding a ridiculously unpredictable mafia killing machine in his arms, after all.
He thinks for now, he'll take him inside the cockpit that they've been standing outside of, at least for some cover. Atsushi isn't sure if he really threw up because of motion sickness or something else, but either way, cover is more important when he's completely out like this. They have to keep their guard up.
He's incredibly lucky the door isn't locked, but the captain had told Dazai he left it that way in case they wanted to be inside. Akutagawa said waiting in there was too dangerous, and Atsushi has to at least agree on that. He manages to open the door with his tail and slides in, closing it behind him.
There's long, cushioned benches on either side of the cockpit, and Atsushi gently lays him down on the nearest one. Akutagawa's head lulls to the side once Atsushi steps back, and he thinks for a moment that he's awake already, but still - nothing.
His breathing really doesn't sound good. It's shallow, short, like it's painful to breathe any deeper. Atsushi thinks he probably has a serious cold, but he's not admitting it no matter the case.
He grits his teeth as he remembers he told himself he would take Akutagawa's coat off. It might be good in the end, too, if he can't use it to attack Atsushi when he wakes up, so he moves Akutagawa as gently as possible to sit up so he can undo the buttons on the coat and slide off the sleeves, one by one. He lays him back down, haphazardly folds the coat and lays it down on the other side of the bench.
Now what? Should he call Dazai? He still has the number of Akutagawa's assistant. He saved it in his phone, but he won't use it to call her. He'd need to find a pay phone. Unless, maybe he could find Akutagawa's cellphone.
He makes sure to check outside the door in case the captain has arrived, but he doesn't see any sign of him. So as he pulls the door back shut, decides he's going to look for Akutagawa's cellphone - at least, until he sees him open his eyes.
"Oh, hey," Atsushi starts nervously, not wanting to get too close to him, "you passed out on the deck, so…"
His explanation trails off as he watches Akutagawa's eyes grow wide and he scrambles to sit up. They're wider than Atsushi's has ever seen them. His hair is in disarray, sticking in all sorts of directions, some of it plastered to his forehead from the sweat his fever is causing.
Atsushi knows that look. He's felt it before. Waking up in an unfamiliar place is a horrifying feeling, he's woken up in full blown panic attacks because of that before. Even though Akutagawa was only out for a few minutes, he's scared.
Atsushi's heart feels heavy with guilt.
"We're in the cockpit on the yacht. You passed out like, five minutes ago," he stammers, but he's not sure that's enough. Akutagawa doesn't look relieved in the slightest, he looks terribly confused. He grasps at the fabric on his sleeve and almost looks like he's gotten to breathe when he realizes he's not wearing his coat.
"Where's - what did you - "
He breaks into a violent coughing fit, hunched over and coughing into his hand, somehow sounding worse than before. It's not so dry this time, either.
Atsushi catches a hint of the scent of blood, but he dismisses it. That couldn't be right, anyway.
"Where's…my coat," he somehow manages between coughs as it dies down, each one on the downtick sounding just as painful as the one before it. He looks exhausted. Atsushi can imagine that takes a lot out of him.
"You don't need that right now. You've got a fever," Atsushi murmurs.
Akutagawa sort of hangs his head as he lays a hand over his chest. He's more focused on something else right now, but Atsushi isn't sure what exactly that is. It might be his breathing. He's trying to slow it down, maybe, but his lungs don't seem to be cooperating. It almost seems like he can't really take a deep breath at all.
"Give it back," he says quietly, not lifting his head. He still sounds short of breath. He sounds defeated.
"I'll give it back, but don't put it on," Atsushi mumbles as he approaches the other end of the bench.
"Don't tell me what to do," Akutagawa huffs. A few coughs interrupt him, but thankfully, it doesn't seem to break him into a coughing fit like before.
Atsushi takes the coat from where he laid it down and hands it to him, expecting him to snatch it back, sure, but he rips it from Atsushi’s grip like he's taking something away from him that he can't live without. Atsushi steps back and gingerly shows his hands to show he doesn't mean any harm. Akutagawa brings it close to his chest like it’s a blanket he needs to fall asleep, curling his fists into it and lowering his head.
He looks miserable.
Atsushi sees the captain on the dock through the window and he squeaks, briefly telling Akutagawa to stay where he is before he disappears through the door.
“You’re with the Armed Detective Agency?” The captain asks. He’s a well dressed man in all white, carrying a black envelope. He looks a bit confused to see Atsushi exiting the cockpit, standing in front of the door. He hopes he doesn’t need to go inside.
“Yes - yes, sir. Atsushi Nakajima, nice to meet you,” Atsushi says, bowing his head politely. The captain bows back.
“There were supposed to be two of you. Can I please see your ID, detective?” The captain says. Atsushi bites his lip. Dazai did tell him to look for two people. Atsushi digs in his pockets for his wallet and finds it in the back left, scrambling to flip to the side that features his employee ID. The captain looks it over with a nod.
“I’m sorry, sir. I…my, uh…” Atsushi pauses. What does he even call Akutagawa? He’s not his friend. He’s not his co-worker. “My…my partner, he’s uh, injured. I told him he should sit down for a while. I didn’t mean to trespass or anything.”
“I see. It’s no trouble, as long as everything is left intact. Does your partner need medical attention?” The captain asks. That’s kind of him. Akutagawa definitely needs medical attention, but he has a feeling he shouldn’t get the captain involved with that.
“Oh, he’s…it’s not too serious. I’ll make sure a doctor sees him today,” Atsushi says, accidentally making a commitment. He would really just like to get this envelope and be on his way.
“If it’s not too serious, I’d like to meet your partner as well. Just to cover my bases and verify your identities,” The captain says sternly. He seems a bit suspicious.
Atsushi’s heart drops. He doesn’t want to make Akutagawa walk out here, especially to meet someone when he looks the way that he does - but if he says no, the captain may refuse to give him the envelope, and then Atsushi will have a whole new kind of problem.
“Oh…yeah, of course. I’ll, uh, be right back,” Atsushi murmurs, taking the door handle to let himself in and close it behind him without any room for the captain to follow him. It is his own boat after all, he has every right to do so.
Akutagawa is still on the bench, except he’s sitting now, the coat laying over his lap, both hands twisted in the fabric. He’s holding onto it for dear life, almost. Atsushi didn’t realize the coat was that important to him, although, if it’s his ability, it makes sense.
Akutagawa very slowly turns his head to look at Atsushi, eyes focused and pointed but heavy with exhaustion.
“The captain says he needs to meet you too. Before he gives us the envelope,” Atsushi murmurs quietly. Akutagawa is already attempting to get up. He’s rather unsteady on his feet, and had to use the bench as leverage to stand up, but Atsushi knows he’ll refuse any offers for help. He manages to slide his arms into he sleeves of the coat without much issue.
His hair still sort of looks like a mess. He approaches the door and Atsushi resists the very strong urge to at least rustle his bangs up so the sweat isn’t so obvious, but not for long. He reaches forward and does it before he can convince himself not to, and Akutagawa flinches backward, eyes wide.
“W - “
“Let’s go,” Atsushi says, opening the door and walking in front of him.
Akutagawa stands in front of the door, now, politely bowing his head, much more discreetly than Atsushi had.
“Good to meet you. And you are?” The captain asks.
“I have no reason to give you my name,” Akutagawa says coldly. Atsushi stiffens. Now is really not the time to be rude.
“I know you’re with the Port Mafia. I have no issue with that. I’m simply asking your name to verify your identity,” The captain says.
Akutagawa averts his gaze.
“Ryuunosuke Akutagawa,” he answers. Atsushi realizes he’s never heard his first name before. It’s nice.
“Alright. And I have two questions for each of you to continue my confirmation. Think of them as…security questions, when you’ve forgotten your password,” The captain says. “For you, detective. What is your mother’s first name?”
Atsushi feels sick.
What kind of question is that?
He never knew his parents. The headmaster told him thinks about what they did to Atsushi, but he doesn’t remember them. He has no idea what they look like, let alone either of their names. What is he supposed to say?
“I don’t know,” Atsushi murmurs, his eyes drifting down to the deck flooring. “I never knew her name.”
“Alright, good,” The captain says, evidently satisfied with the answer, and Atsushi realizes that was the correct one. It’s a trick question. Anyone trying to impersonate him might have known the answer, but Atsushi didn’t. “And you, Akutagawa. Where did you live when you were twelve years old?”
Akutagawa seems to have a similar reaction to his question. His eyes are wide, at least, as wide as they can be in his state. But his expression very quickly shifts into anger.
“I’m not answering that,” he snaps. He almost staggers sideways, clearly still rather unsteady on his feet.
“I need you to,” The captain says. “I already know the answer. I’m just asking you to confirm it. Only you would know the answer to this.”
Akutagawa opens his mouth to shout something obscene, he’s sure that’s his plan, but Atsushi is able to distract him by lifting his hands up and pressing them against his ears. He’s not sure why, but he thinks Akutagawa simply doesn’t want Atsushi to hear the answer. And he can respect that. They’re not friends, after all.
Akutagawa stares at him for a moment, not catching on right away to what he’s doing, but he sees the anger fade just a bit after a second, and Atsushi turns his head away to allow Akutagawa to answer, so that he won’t hear it.
But he hears it anyway.
That damn Tiger’s hearing.
Suribachi City.
Atsushi’s shoulders drop a little bit. The slums?
Akutagawa is from the slums?
Atsushi very slowly lowers his hands and just barely catches the end of the captain saying very good before thanking the two of them, He thinks this is a strange way to verify someone’s idenity, but maybe the captain has an ability and this is relevant. Maybe Dazai set this up. He’s not sure, but either way, he doesn’t like it.
The captain hands Atsushi the envelope.
“Thank you to you both. I have some business to attend to at the Marina Club. Feel free to stay here if you’d like, and please make sure your injury is tended to,” the captain says, directing that last part to Akutagawa. Akutagawa makes a very displeased, confused expression as Atsushi bows the captain away, and soon enough, he’s gone.
Akutagawa is quiet for a few moments, and Atsushi is at a loss of what to say. Normally, he thinks Akutagawa would have just been on his way without a word to Atsushi, but he doesn’t move.
At least, until he bolts toward the railing choke up a mouthful of vomit into the water again. Atsushi yelps at how quickly he managed that, and he realizes Akutagawa was likely just waiting for the captain to leave the boardwalk.
Akutagawa grips onto the railing, tight, but one hand comes up to lay against his chest as he starts to cough again. It’s only a few times, but they’re wet and deep, and they make him vomit again, nearly missing to get over the railing. His knees collapse in on themselves and he leans heavily against the railing once he’s on the ground, keeping that hand on his chest.
"You need to go to a hospital or something," Atsushi mumbles, carefully approaching him.
"Nice try," Akutagawa chokes out, not daring to lift his head. He tries to use the railing to stand himself back up, but his legs are shaking so much that they’re completely unreliable to stand on, and he comes back down to the deck. "You…really must take me for some kind of fool."
"What the hell do you mean, nice try?" Atsushi scoffs. He can’t stand this guy. What’s wrong with thinking he needs help when he looks so miserable?
"I'll get arrested if I'm admitted to a public hospital," Akutagawa growls, his faze only then turning up to glare at Atsushi, eyes like those of a hungry wolf. "You've seen my wanted posters, haven't you, Weretiger?"
Atsushi's shoulders sink. "I didn't think about that, actually."
"Just go," Akutagawa huffs, leaning his head to the side.
"What? I'm not leaving you here,” Atsushi grumbles. “You can't even stand up."
"Why does it matter to you?" Akutagawa asks quietly.
Why does it matter? He could simply head home right now, if he really wanted to. It shouldn’t make a difference to him how Akutagawa gets home, if he sees a doctor. He’s not his babysitter.
"Just cause I hate your guts doesn't mean I want you to suffer," Atsushi mumbles quietly.
"I was in a coma for a week because of you," Akutagawa huffs with a shaky breath. "Don't give me that."
"That was different, you kidnapped me and Kyoka cause you're a psychopath," Atsushi snaps before really taking in what Akutagawa said.
A coma?
"So I've been told,” Akutagawa breathes out, letting his eyes fall shut as he lets his head lull to the side just a bit.
He's really starting to look out of it, now. He almost had Atsushi fooled for a moment in an encounter with the captain. He seemed composed and put together, but now he seems to have literally started to fall apart. He can't even stand up, at least not in this moment.
The way he's breathing is deeply concerning. It somehow sounds worse. He takes note of how he tries to take a deep breath, but all it brings him is a round of painful sounding coughs. Atsushi doesn't know what to do.
Akutagawa seems to have lost the ability to care about Atsushi being in his vicinity, he doesn't even remotely try to protest his presence.
"I'm gonna call Dazai real quick. To let him know we got the envelope," Atsushi says. Akutagawa's shoulders stiffen at the mention of Dazai, but not for long. He quickly sinks back.
Atsushi wanders to the bow of the ship before he makes the phone call, out of earshot from Akutagawa.
"Dazai," Atsushi mumbles as soon as the ringing stops.
"What's the matter? Is everything okay?" he asks. He sounds more intrigued than concerned, but he seems to recognize that something isn't right.
"Well - we…we got the envelope. Everything went well, but, Akutagawa…" Atsushi murmurs, staring at the envelope in his hands. What does he even say? What would Dazai do about Akutagawa's condition? They can't take him to a hospital. "I don't know, something's wrong. I think he's really sick, Dazai."
He hears Dazai sigh over the phone. "How sick? Is he unconscious?"
"No, he's…he passed out, but he's awake now. It just seems like…" Atsushi murmurs, and an idea comes to mind. "Do you think…could Yosano help him? I can't take him to a public hospital, he'd get arrested, so maybe -"
"Atsushi, she won't use her ability for the Port Mafia. I can tell you that now," Dazai tells him sternly. Atsushi shrinks. He can't force Yosano to help anyone, sure, but it feels wrong to just leave him here. He can't let it go, for some reason.
"But he needs help," Atsushi mumbles. "I can't just…I can't just leave him. Something's really wrong, Dazai."
"I'll let Chuuya know it's done and he will be there soon. He can take him to the extraction point," Dazai tells him. "He's not your responsibility, Atsushi."
"I'm gonna stay here until Chuuya gets here, then," Atsushi mumbles. "I wouldn't…I wouldn't want someone to leave me while I'm that sick. I can't do it."
Dazai is quiet for a moment, and if it's not already impossible to tell what he's thinking in person, it's certainly impossible right now. He can't even begin to guess.
"Alright, I'll see you when you get back, Atsushi," he says.
"Yeah, see you," Atsushi says quietly. Dazai hangs up.
Atsushi is sure he's better off waiting over here, but he feels like he needs to be closer. He's starting to get this irrational fear that Akutagawa will suddenly stop breathing.
He wanders back over towards him. Akutagawa is leaning with his back against the railing and his knees pulled into his chest, eyes looking nowhere in particular. It's obvious he doesn't feel good, but Atsushi feels like every time he turns around, Akutagawa looks about fifty percent worse than before. His eyes are unfocused and his cheeks are red to match his eyes.
"Chuuya will be here soon to meet you," Atsushi tells him. "Maybe we can wait inside, or -"
“You heard me,” Akutagawa murmurs.
Atsushi freezes for a second before he tilts his head. What is he talking about? Is it something about not telling him what to do? Atsushi didn't really order him around, so he's not sure what he means.
Maybe his fever is starting to talk.
“Heard what?” Atsushi asks. He sits down a few feet away from him, his legs crossed.
“The answer,” Akuatagwa murmurs.
Oh. His answer to the captain's question.
Atsushi isn't sure what to say, because he can't tell how Akutagawa feels about it. It seems like he's upset, at least a little bit, but he thinks he sounds more defeated than anything else, like it's a secret he never intended on sharing with anyone, let alone Atsushi. Atsushi could apologize, make it awkward, but he doesn't think Akutagawa would react well to any of that.
“I knew some kids at the orphanage from Suribachi City," Atsushi says instead, lowering his head as he starts to study the woodwork on the deck. He remembers one in particular, a girl who was practically emaciated, covered in scars and healing wounds, missing a few fingers from wild dogs. The others weren't much different from her, either. It's hard to imagine Akutagawa in that kind of state, especially at ten years old.
Akutagawa ducks his head down. He's shivering again, but Atsushi can't tell if it's chills from whatever illness is plaguing him, or he's shaking.
“I knew someone who escaped from an orphanage,” Akutagawa manages, the sound muffled. “I saw a lot of kids like that.”
Atsushi bites his lip. He’s known people to do the same. He’s wanted to try it himself, but he remembers one instance of a kid who froze to death outside trying to escape. She was used as an example. You're safest in here. He shudders at the thought.
“I was…I was the only ability user I knew,” Akutagawa says quietly, having to stop once to take some breaths. “He told me…he knew an ability user at the orphanage. Or, he thought him to be one. I always thought…he must have imagined it…"
Atsushi isn't sure where he's going with that, but he's too afraid to ask. Akutagawa lifts his head, just to cough into his hand. It's only two or three times, but they still sound so painful. Atsushi thinks he sees spots of blood in his hand, but he can't be sure from where he's sitting. He's probably just seeing things.
“You should wait inside the cockpit or something,” Atsushi murmurs nervously. “Didn’t you say the ocean air is bad for you?”
Akutagawa doesn’t say anything, he just lowers his hand and makes eye contact with Atsushi. He’s not all there. Atsushi can’t be sure, but he thinks the fever he has must be really high, that look in his eyes just isn’t right. It’s not Akutagawa.
A chill runs up Atsushi’s spine when he hears a huff come from behind him.
It's almost as if Chuuya appears on the deck instantaneously. Atsushi didn't see him coming. He heard footsteps somewhere, looking back on it, but didn’t think they were on the deck already.
"What're you still doin' here, Weretiger?" Chuuya growls. He sounds mean, but Atsushi doesn't think he means to shoo him away. He almost sounds curious, tilting his head down at Atsushi, a hand on his hip as Atsushi turns his head to face him.
“I - uh,” Atsushi mumbles, standing up and patting down his pants, for some reason feeling the need to look presentable in front of him. Chuuya is starting to look impatient, and his head starts to turn away from him. “I just - well, Dazai said…”
Chuuya suddenly rushes past him in Akutagawa’s direction, and Atsushi realizes he’s completely missed Akutagawa attempting to stand up, and now, it looks like he’s unconscious in Chuuya’s arms.
Chuuya almost effortlessly shifts Akutagawa so that he can easily carry him like Atsushi did earlier. Except, he keeps him lowered on the ground for a moment to lay the back of his hand against his cheek.
“How long’s he been breathin’ like this?” Chuuya asks, running a hand through Akutagawa’s hair. He bites his lip.
“Um…pretty much the whole time, I think,” Atsushi says. His eyes trail down to Akutagawa’s hand, the same one he coughed into earlier, and his stomach drops when he realizes those are spots of blood in his hand.
Chuuya nods and scoops Akutagawa back up into his arms, but Atsushi stays where he is, eyes wide and hoping for some sort of explanation. Chuuya looks like he’s only seconds away from leaving the deck, but Atsushi stops him.
“Wait - ”
Chuuya turns, that same scowl on his face. Atsushi’s eys drift down to Akutagawa, who’s still breathing heavy and shallow. He looks like he’s in a lot of pain, even half-conscious like this, his face all twisted up. “What?”
“What’s wrong with him?” Atsushi asks. He has a feeling Chuuya is sort of familiar with Akutagawa’s weak state right now, based on his reaction.
“It’s probably pneumonia again,” Chuuya answers quietly.
“Again?” Atsushi clarifies. His heart sinks. He’s had pneumonia once before while at the orphanage. It was so miserable that he’s forgotten much of it.
"He always gets hit real hard like this. Doesn’t take good care of his health," Chuuya mumbles, his eyes on Akutagawa’s pale face for a moment before they dart back up at Atsushi, and the scowl has melted away. "Thanks for stayin' with him."
"Yeah…yeah, no problem."
Atsushi can’t take his eyes off of Akutagawa, even as Chuuya leaves.
…
"You're very distracted today, Atsushi. I need you to focus, we have a lot of work to do."
Kunikida’s stern voice pulls him out of his thoughts.
He sounds disappointed. Atsushi doesn’t want to disappoint him. He’s tired. He didn’t sleep well last night and for some reason he’s having a lot more trouble focusing on his work than what’s normal for him. His laptop is just staring him in the face.
“Right, right. I’m sorry,” Atsushi nods, his hands moving to the keyboard, even unsure what to do then. Mabe he should go down to the cafe or something and grab a coffee, but he knows he’s not just tired. The only thing swirling around his brain today is the image of Akutagawa unconscious in Chuuya’s arms.
He opens the web browser on his computer and takes one of the reports from the center of the tables, opening it to the first page. He can feel Dazai’s eyes on him.
Dazai didn’t say anything about Akutagawa yesterday when Atsushi returned to the agency, and while he didn’t expect him to - he’s probably certain Chuuya came to get him and that he’s getting treated now - Atsushi found it strange. It feels like there’s a rock in the pit of his stomach.
Once Kunikida wanders over to Junichiro’s desk to help him with something, Dazai speaks.
"What's on your mind, hm?" Dazai asks, his elbows propped up on the table and his head in his hands. "Akutagawa?"
Atsushi's shoulders shrink. He was sort of expecting this question, but he’s not sure how to answer it. "I just…I dunno. He was really sick, Dazai. Chuuya said he might have pneumonia.”
"I know. That's not uncommon for him, Atsushi. He doesn't have a good immune system," Dazai says with a little sigh. Atsushi isn’t sure if that was supposed to make him feel better or not. He kind of figured that last part, Akutgawa doesn’t seem like a super healthy person, but even so, this weird feeling is still settled in his stomach.
"Yeah?" he says, turning his head.
"Mhm. And they have good doctors in the Port Mafia too, you know. He'll be fine," Dazai says with a little nod.
Atsushi feels a little better, knowing that.
He doesn’t need to worry. Akutagawa has plenty of people looking after him, he’s sure about that.
"If you say so."
…
Two weeks later, Atsushi sees Akutagawa again.
The sun has just set, and Atsushi is outside the nearest train station following a lead on a case on Kunikida’s behalf when he sees him leaned against the wall outside of the station on the phone. He’s not wearing his usual coat, and he thinks he looks a little suspicious wearing tinted glasses at night, but it’s definitely him.
Akutagawa’s eyes dart over, like he knows someone is watching him. A scowl appears on his face.
He really looks ghastly, a word Atsushi can only imagine Akutagawa saying. His cheeks are sunken and his eyes look dull, like the life has been sucked out of them. Exhausted doesn’t sound like it’s good enough to describe him, but he certainly looks better than he did.
Atsushi was planning on just walking off, but Akutagawa is still glaring at him.
So Atsushi walks over, just as Akutagawa hangs up the phone. He’s still holding it, looking like he’ll snap it apart at any moment.
"Akutagawa?" Atsushi starts awkwardly.
"What do you want from me," Akutagawa grumbles. "Weretiger."
“First of all, we’re in public. I’m not stalking you,” Atsushi groans, rolling his eyes. He pauses for a moment to listen to Akutagawa’s breathing, and he’s relieved that it sounds a little more normal - but there’s a faint rattle when he breathes in that concerns him. "You still don't look great.”
"I was released from our hospital two days ago," he mumbles, turning his head to the side.
Two days ago?
Does that mean he was in the hospital all this time? Two weeks? He already figured he had pneumonia because of what Chuuya said, but being hospitalized for two weeks is such a long time.
Atsushi doesn't know what to say. He just stares, his brow furrowed.
"I don't heal as well as normal people. And certainly not as well as you," he grumbles, his eyes briefly turning back to Atsushi. "I'll be fine. Wipe that pathetic look off of your face, it's unbecoming."
"Oh - sorry," he says with a nod of his head. "I…"
"Don't say anything else," Akutagawa huffs.
Atsushi pouts. “Can I at least ask what it was?”
“Pneumonia,” Akutagawa says simply, like it was an obvious answer.
“Have you had it before?”
“Yes,” Akutagawa nods with a small sigh. He’s surprised he’s being so cooperative with his answers. Maybe he really is just more of a jerk when he’s not feeling well.
“I had it once too. It was miserable,” Atsushi murmurs. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. An apology won’t change anything,” Akutagawa says with a slightly more annoyed sigh this time, stepping forward so he’s no longer leaning on the wall.
“I guess not, but…” Atsushi says. He shrugs his shoulders, expecting Akutagawa to just walk off and leave, but he doesn’t. It almost seems like he wants to say something, but he’s not sure if he should.
“I’m…I’m sorry that you felt obligated to look after me,” Akutagawa mumbles.
Now that is definitely the last thing he expected Akutagawa to say. He doesn’t like his head or even attempt to make eye contact, but it sounds sincere, he thinks. It sounds like they’re his own words, not fed to him by someone else.
“Oh,” Atsushi blinks. “Um…well, I didn’t…I dunno. It wasn’t a big deal.”
His cheeks feel warm, for some reason. He’s embarrassed. He doesn’t really know what to say or think, he’s just really surprised to hear Akutagawa say anything about it at all. He wonders if he feels guilty.
“If you insist,” Akutagawa answers simply. Now it seems like he’s ready to walk off. “Well, Weretiger, I would really prefer if you would get out of my sight before my company arrives, I -”
“Wait,” Atsushi says, finally having managed to gather his scrambled thoughts together. Akutagawa glares at him again. “I just…I don’t mind helping you if you need it. I’m not a heartless monster.”
“No, you’re not,” Akutagawa agrees, as if it’s the most obvious thing he’s ever heard.
Atsushi’s a bit taken aback by that, too.
“You think?” he says, feeling his ears start to heat up, too. Why, even?
“Weretiger,” Akutagawa sighs. Atsushi has lost track over how many time he’s heard that sound, “on with it. Or leave.”
“I just - I’ve got your back, I guess. Maybe you don’t have mine, but…I won’t leave you stranded if you need help,” Atsushi says. He realizes how corny that sounds, he can hear Dazai’s hysterical laughter echoing in the back of his brain, but Akutagawa doesn’t seem to think so, at least not in the moment. He blinks at him.
His cheeks sort of look pink. Atsushi hopes he doesn’t still have a fever.
“I didn’t realize you were so cheesy, Weretiger,” Akutagawa says as he drops his gaze before he huffs out a breath. Atsushi really thought he was going to say something nice back, but he really is a jerk. Bastard.
Atsushi groans. “Well, too bad, cause I am! And you’re gonna have to deal with it!”
Akutagawa opens his mouth to respond, but his hand covers his mouth to cough a few times, and Atsushi is relieved they don’t sound as bad as they did - they’re certainly hoarse, though.
“Are you -”
Akutagawa nods. “I’m okay.”
“Akutagawa…?”
They both turn their heads at the same time to find a pair has approached them, seemingly without any warning. It’s Akutagawa’s assistant - Atsushi thinks her name is Higuchi, or something like that - and a girl with long, dark hair that he doesn’t recognize at first, but quickly remembers is Akutagawa’s sister. Gin. Akutagawa having a sister is still an incredibly foreign concept to him. They’re both wearing casual clothing, evidently not working.
They both look very confused to see Akutagawa talking to him. Atsushi sees them both reach for something, and realizes almost too late that they’re reaching for weapons.
“Wait, I -”
“He was told to meet me here. Miscommunication,” Akutagawa says simply. Interesting tactic, he makes it sounds like it’s something the two of them already know about. Higuchi nods, accepting the answer, but Gin only looks suspicious. “Finish your business elsewhere, Weretiger.”
“Right, uh…yep, I’ll do that,” Atsushi says. Does he say goodbye? See ya? No, that’s weird, especially in front of his coworker and his sister. They both view him as the enemy.
What is he talking about? He is the enemy. They are enemies. He shakes his head as he walks off, even more confused than he was before this interaction began.
“Is your fever back? Your face looks red,” his sister says, and Atsushi briefly turns his head to see her laying a hand against his cheek, to which he quickly turns away. “You don’t feel warm.”
“Maybe we should take you back to the clinic, just to be safe,” Higuchi starts.
“I’m fine. Let’s go,” Akutagawa says with a heavy sigh, and the three of them walk in the opposite direction, eventually, out of his sight.
Atsushi shakes his head. Why is he still standing there?
And why are his ears still hot?
#more sskk teehee#my fanfictions#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#sskk#shin soukoku#atsushi#akutagawa#atsuaku#dazai#chuuya#akutagawa x atsushi#sickfic#ao3#pneumonia#bsd#illness#sick#vomiting#fever#fainting#passing out
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