#pro co rat

[fartbong-rewritten]

[musicmags]

[muffinlance]

Chapter is officially with my reader. <3

Writing Status Report:

Rough drafted next Fox's Tongue chapter, just needs a polish!

Rough drafted new Dark Night in Ba Sing Se case start, just needs a polish!

Heading to rough draft next Blindsiding Badgermoles now!

I still have a half hour before lunch! I still have tomorrow morning to write! VIVA LA FOUR DAY WEEKEND!

[lgbtlunaverse]

Now this is meaner than i like to be when talking about fandom because i am pro people having fun and doing what they want and playing around with dynamics. So let me preface by saying that if you like this headcanon there's nothing wrong with you and I hope you have a great day. That said, aside from the Wen erasure and trying to flatten a more unconventional family dynamic into a nuclear family shaped hole one of the main reasons I vibe less with the "wangxian are a-yuan's dads" headcanon is that I honestly think it's kind of... Lan Wangji character assasination.

Yeah that sounds really harsh but the headcanon recquires Lan Wangji formally adopting a-yuan as his own and/or raising him as his son and i cannot stress this enough he would not do that. Because that would be actively endangering A-Yuan's safety.

To be clear: Lan wangji and wen yuan canonically look so alike that strangers who'd never met either of them assumed they were father and son. If Lan Wangji suddenly comes back with a child that he is insisting to raise, and that child looks exactly like him, people aren't going to assume that's hanguang-jun's adopted son. That is hanguang-jun's biological son with a mystery mother!

Jiang Fengmian didn't even formally adopt wei wuxian, and people knew who his actual (married!) parents were, and they still regularly assumed that he was secretly jiang fengmian's bastard instead of the child of the man cangse sanren literally eloped with.

If that's how eager people are about bastard rumours, what do you think happens if one of the most eligible bachelors in the jianghu turns up with an "adopted" son who looks just like him and refuses to say anything about where he came from?

Yeah, Hanguang-jun knocked someone up and apparantly the union was so scandalous he's deperately trying to cover it up while literally bringing this bastard kid into his own clan. Can you imagine a more juicy rumour? Everyone would want to know who this kid's mother is. A-Yuan's background would be one of the hottest pieces of gossip around.

Which, if you're triyng to make sure that no one finds out that this kid is actually a Wen and came straight from the burial mounds, is really fucking bad. If everyone is looking for A-Yuan's backround and someone succeeds, his life is in danger.

A-Yuan lost his memories, and that must've hurt like hell for Lan Wangji, both for A-Yuan's own sake and because that means this child that Wei Wuxian loved and who loved him in turn now no longer remembers him, will only ever know him from the lies the world tells about him. But he didn't do anything about it, because not knowing was safer for A-Yuan. Even if Lan Wangji wanted to personally adopt him, he would not risk A-Yuan's safety to satisfy his own feelings.

On the other hand, A-Yuan looking like Lan Wangji means he looks like a Lan, and wonky as the mdzs timeline is it's pretty clear he was born during the sunshot campaign. The Lan lost a lot of people in the war, they probably have loads of war orphans, and this kid clearly looks like one, they'd have no problem taking him in. Are they 100% sure who his parents were? No, but they probably died shortly after he was born and weren't able to safely return him to cloud recesses.

It's really easy for Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji to come up with a story from here. Someone came across the kid on the streets, saw the family resemblance, and decided to take him back to his home! After the burial mounds Wen Yuan probably wouldn't look too different form an average street rat. Or maybe the boy was raised by a common family who told them about the cultivators that left him there for safekeeping, unable to idenify them exactly but mentioning the signature white robes and forehead ribbon. Who knows!

The point is that Lan Wangji and Lan Sizhui could, for Sizhui's own safety, not be seen as father and son. From Sizhui's comments that Lan Wangji was "like a father or older brother" to him, and the fact that Lan Wangji chose his courtesy name we can infer that after he got out of seclusion Lan Wangji was more involved in his life than he would've been with other disciples. But from the outside that could be explained as a teacher having a favorite student, and an honoured sect elder (and family member, though now the assumption is "distant cousin/nephew" instead of "bastard child") helping to name a child in lieu of parents that are no longer there. By all accounts, Lan Yuan was raised collectively by the Lan as one of the several war orphans they must have had. Just like how he was raised collectively by the burial mound Wen before that.

[lilspacewolfie]

Writing Masterlist:

‼️🔞MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🔞‼️

This blog is 18+ as I write explicit material (unmarked fics are SFW gen/teen). Most of my work is on my Ao3.

If you have a prompt for me, throw it into my ask box! But please read my writing request rules first! Requests: OPEN!

Please note all my works are contained in their own, unconnected verses unless stated otherwise. I'm pro-minding-your-business. Do not bring me drama. I’m too old for that shit.

‼️(This masterlist is always being updated please DO NOT reblog!)‼️

Main Devil!Terzo verse: Follows an AU in which Terzo is Lucifer (The Devil) incarnate. (fic references: Basic layout of Copia's apartment ⛧ Copia's rats ⛧ Some amazing fanart for this story: here, here, here, here, here (more spicy ones by delulluart can be found on the fic!)

⛧ You Will Never Walk Alone Chapters 16/? (Ao3 only, Devil!Terzo x Copia, Current ongoing *WIP* please read the tags & triggers!) E/18+ **SLOW UPDATES**

Semi-verse Related Oneshots: Some self-indulgent slice of life stuff for my main AU.

⛧ The Devil's Treasure (Ao3 only, 3.9k words, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, soft dom devil!terzo, bathing/washing, praise kink, devil!terzo taking care of copia during a thunderstorm) E/18+

⛧ The Devil's Claim (Ao3 only, 5k words, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, very low-stakes jealousy, angst & fluff, they work it out in the end) E/18+

⛧ The Devil's Whore (Ao3 only, 2.3k words, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, playful flirting, desperation, a touch of voyeurism) E/18+

⛧ The Devil's Heart (Ao3 only, 2.9k words, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, follow on from the devil's whore, praise kink, love-making, tenderness) E/18+

Ficlets:

⛧ Reassurences (also on Ao3, 498 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, SFW from fluffy dialogue prompts, very short and sweet, seriously my teeth hurt, anxiety disorder, heavy on the tenderness, pillow talk)

⛧ Devil On Your Back (also on Ao3, 575 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, sexual content, soft and sweet, love-making, soft dom devil!terzo, body worship, handjobs, praise kink, copia is #stressed, lucifer gives him a hand and his dick) E/18+

Drabbles:

⛧The Devil's Kisses (1.1k words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, from send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss, copia suffers from migraines, a lot of softness here, very soft and sweet, sexual content, playful flirting, teasing, oral, love-making, lots of forehead and temple kisses, truly those are my weakness, grief & loss of a pet at the end, minor death if that bothers you, but it's not described in detail) E/18+

Devilish Requests: Mainly featuring Devil!Terzo x Copia or Devil!Terzo x Omega.

⛧ Blinded (Ao3 only, 1.2k words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, dom devil!terzo, light bondage, edging, blindfolds) E/18+

⛧ Let Me Hear You (Ao3 only, 886 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, soft dom, voice kink, handjobs) E/18+

⛧ After (Ao3 only, 740 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, aftercare, bodyworship, tenderness, subspace, follows on from Blinded, aftermath of smut) M

⛧ Stress Relief (Ao3 only, 997 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, rough oral, breathplay) E/18+

⛧ In The Quiet (Ao3 only, 944 words, Devil!Terzo x Copia, mild NSFW, MDNI, anxiety, tenderness, light angst, pillow talk) M

⛧ Devil In A Dress (Ao3 only, 1.5k words, Devil!Terzo x Omega, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, dom/sub, rough oral, smut inspired by van's art) E/18+

Oneshots:

⛧ A Little Mercy (also on Ao3, 1.4k words, Terzo x Copia, NSFW, MDNI, SMUT, sexual content, soft dom terzo, body worship, light-bondage, oral, teasing, blindfolds, edging) E/18+

Drabbles:

⛧ Breathe With Me (1.5k words, Terzo x f!reader, SFW, only mild nsfw i guess since naked cuddling happens, anxious reader, soft terzo, co-regulation, breathing techniques, no beta we die like sister imperator.)

⛧ Scars and Stretchmarks (1.5k words, Terzo x Copia, mild NSFW, MDNI, from send me a Ship and a Number and I will Write a Kiss, soft dom terzo, very soft and sweet because I can't not make everything a little sweet, mild sexual content, teasing, stretchmarks, insecurities, guilt & grief, copia needs a hug, anxiety disorder, sort of a panic attack if that triggers you) M

Oneshots:

⛧ Failed Date (also on Ao3, 1.6k words, Cardinal Copia x gn!reader, SFW, very little description to keep it as gender-neutral as possible, soft copia, failed date, sweet ending, just all around very soft and fluffy)

Drabbles:

⛧ Relaxing Night With Copia (??? words (idk im so tired lmao), Copia x gn!reader, SFW, soft copia, pastina!, reader and copia are as exhausted as I am right now, a lot of softness it’s killing me, tired idiots in love, bullet point format.)

Ficlets:

⛧ Lazy Sunday Gaming (639 words, Copia x gn!reader, soft and sleepy gaming session with Copia, cuddling and snuggling, short and sweet, I wrote this on my phone on a sunday morning when i was half asleep please enjoy <3)

Oneshots:

⛧ I Will Hold You For The Minute (also on Ao3 1.1k words, Copia x gn!reader, SFW, soft and angsty, idk i have too many feelings right now, ghovie related, Copia stresses a lot, lots of kisses, sweetness, that new fit oh my fucking satan its so hot, no beta.)

Ficlets:

⛧ Ghost: Chapter 20 (Content: 650 words, Copia x f!oc, ghost chapter 20 related, softness with a sprinkle of angst, SFW though slightly suggestive at the end.)

⛧ Reading Copia Unhinged Comments (Content: 1.1k words, Copia & gn!reader, SFW, ghost chapter 20 related again, lots of softness and hurt/comfort, you cheer copia up by reading unhinged takes.)

Drabbles:

⛧ Papas Caring For Hospitalized Reader (also on Ao3, 2k words, Papas x gn!reader, SFW, bullet-pointed format, mentions of hospitals, needles (only mentioned), mention of general anaesthetic, angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety, lots of sweetness, you're getting pampered, no beta we die like nihil!)

🜏 ⛧ 🜏

Misc Stuff:

My Art Tag ⛧ My Gifs Tag ⛧ Blog dividers used set 1 & set 2 ⛧ Moving graphics can be found here ⛧

[volterran-wine]

got any thoughts on the newest Nosferatu?

𝐌𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐍𝐨𝐬𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐮 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒

I love that you simply assumed I had watched this movie dear Anonymous, I take it as a compliment. Sorry for taking a little while to get to this, for the movie was not out until last night for Norway.

I was of course at the first screening in my town with 10 other people filling the theatre. Without going into details; I loved it. Eggers is now four for four when it comes to his work in my eyes, this one might become a favourite for many Eggers fans to say the least.

But you asked for thoughts;

So, below is a mini Review/Rambling about Nosferatu by Robert Eggers, with SPOILERS.

TW for mentions of SA and CA.

Where to even begin.

First I would like to say I am so glad this is not a 'sexy vampire' movie, at all. I was hoping for that gut-wrenching, folkloric horror that these creatures are supposed to be.

Usually I would make a list of pro's and con's for just about any media I consume, but for this one I just cannot do that. The only complaint I have is the fact that my theatre was so empty yesterday it was terribly cold and the Dolby Atmos System was a little too loud with too few bodies to ricochet of off.

I think I will have to do this in sections.

𝐀 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 & 𝐟𝐨𝐥𝐤𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞

At one point I attempted to keep track of how many classic horror moments that were being introduced in the movie―I soon lost count because Eggers somehow managed to make every single one of them work so well. You can tell the man simply loves his job. From the attention to folklore, to historical accuracies and homages to classic horror cinema, you will find all of it in this movie.

𝐂𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

Another part of the movie that is so dedicated to blending beautifully done modern shots with ones that clearly is lifted out of the dreamlike sets from older Hollywood movies. It is a visual delight for the eyes. Combined with the wonderful styling and costuming of the characters, it easily becomes a highlight alone.

If the movie had been terrible I would have said the look of the movie was beautiful enough to overlook it.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

I have had my doubts about Miss. Depp a couple of times, but I have not seen possession scenes like that in a good while. Hereditary comes to mind, and that is a compliment. Hoult plays being a husband being politely terrified so well I want to cast him in all my Gothic fantasies from now on.

Also, Willem Dafoe laughs maniacally while setting fire to an old house, raving about alchemy and the course of life and death while a thousand rats are his co-starts.

How can it get better than that?

Kudos to Emma Corrin and Aaron Taylor-Johnson for being outstanding side characters I felt so terribly bad for.

𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐇𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐲 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞

The fact that they worked with scholars and linguists to help reconstruct and invoke the long dead Dacian language for this movie makes me want to cry.

I have also seen people of Romania being quite pleased about the attention to detail when it comes to their culture and history. Seeing as though I am no expert on that topic, I will leave that to them to gush about. I am simply glad Eggers is giving 150% effort on this movie.

When 'Strigoi' was mentioned I quietly cheered though.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐦, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 & 𝐚𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐞

We all know that Vampires and the act of drawing blood is a sexual metaphor―it has been that way for centuries. Vampire media is inherently about the desire for the forbidden and dark we are supposed to reject.

Nosferatu draws on those topics, but it frames it through a lens of what abuse does to person when it is experienced at a young age. The story of this movie is just as much about rape and what it does to a person. It follows you as a shadow, and you never quite know when the next bout of abuse can happen. The movie portrays the terror and guilt someone can harbour, and how it in turn can effect you for a long time after the fact...

There are sadly many real life Count Orlok's.

The movie shows how this is an ugly thing, the fact that pleasure and abuse can exist in tandem and there is not such thing as the perfect victim. Nosferatu tells the story of how frightening and freeing it can be to drag the darkest pits of abuse into the light.

It is the only way to kill it.

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

Please go see Nosferatu.

(I will recommend looking up a tigger warning list due to the nature of the movie. There is a fair amount of gore and body horror + themes that may be triggering,)

[the-eternalized-constellation]

We are The Eternalized Constellation/Collective/System.

Collective Emoji: 🌌 (if we are co-fronting, we may use 🌌 instead)

There are many of us, but many prefer to avoid fronting, some are gatekeeped. This post will be the Masterinfo for all of us, and where you can find our own personal blogs. Will be updated occasionally.

We are bodily: White, Adult, AFAB, Human

Very few of us consider ourselves human, so if you please, do not refer to us as human.

We collectively are Hellenistic Polytheists. We worship, honor, & simply admire the Greek Gods.

As of our current awareness, we have 2 littles, one is allowed to front, one is gatekeeped: Lily (♊). Spyrie (💎) is the little our gatekeepers allow to front.

We are mixed origin; Traumagenic, Lostsoulgenic (our custom term), Psychegenic, Seelegenic, Cosmogenic, and Endogenic

Lostsoulgenic - For whatever reasons may occur, souls get lost in the universe and may accidentally (or purposefully) connect with a body that already is connected to a soul. A phenomenona can occur in which multiple souls become attached to one body, this may be due to trauma itself attaching to the soul, the soul isn't able to detach itself, or the soul has no desire to leave.

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We are mostly...

For some of us, our views vary. If you have questions, you are free to ask.

Pro Paraphilias

Proship

Pro Endo

Pro Choice

A few of us are Pro-Radqueer, as long as no harm comes to anything living (or corpse). It's good to remember that we are Anti-FORCED Recovery and ANTI-CONTACT. Do not harass us for what we believe in, as we only let alters who are harmless to front. If you have such a problem with us, block our blogs.

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We Despise:

D0n41d Trvmp, M4G4

Pro-Contact

Forced Recovery

We tend to be quite friendly with anyone, even if views are different. All we ask is that you treat us with respect, and we will treat you with respect.

No specific DNI, just don't be a prick. Feel free to block us for ANY reason. We block freely.

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Headmate Masterinfo Below

Common Fronting Headmates:

Some of us may not post, some of us are avid posters. Watch for the emoji to know who is fronting, or ask us directly.

🐺 - Conor

Pronouns: He/Him

Anti-Syscourse, Anti-Shipcourse, Anti discourse in general

🐺 - Conor's Intro

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

🌙🌸✨ / ☀🌼⚡- Laromi

Pronouns: She/Her, Evil/Evilself, Blood/Bloodself, Devil/Devilself, Gore/Goreself, Immoral/Immoralself, Demon/Demonself

Pro-ship/radqueer/endo/para + com/dark-shipper

Anti-Contact, Anti Forced-Recovery

🌙🌸✨ - Laromi's Intro, Laromi's Gender Hoard,

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

🐀 - Rat

Pronouns: He/Him, Rat/Ratself, Mouse/Mouseself, Murid/Muridself, Squeak/Squeakself,

Proship, Comship, Pro Para (Anti-Contact, Pro Therapy, Pro Recovery)

Anti Radqueer, Anti Darkship

🐀 - Rat's Intro

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

🟢 - Core

Pronouns: They/Them, He/Him, She/Her, It/Its

Proship, Comship, Darkship, Pro Endo, Pro Para (Anti-Contact, Pro Therapy, Pro Recovery)

Anti Radqueer,

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

💎 - Spyrie

Pronouns: She/Her, Secret/Secretself, Diamond/Diamondself, Agent/Agentself, Gem/Gemself, Star/Starself, Magical/Magicalself,

Proship, Pro Para (Anti-Contact, Pro Therapy, Pro Recovery), Pro Endo

💎 - Spyrie's Intro

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

🟣 - Greyson

Pronouns: He/Him, Purple/Purpleself, Violet/Violetself, Alien/Alienself, ET/ETself,

Pro Endo, Pro Para (Anti-Contact, Pro Therapy, Pro Recovery)

Anti-Proship, Anti-Radqueer, Anti-Dark/Comship

🟣 - Greyson's Intro

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

😈❤ - VV

Pronouns: They/Them, He/Him, She/Her, It/Its

Proship, Pro Endo, Pro Para (Anti-Contact, Pro Therapy, Pro Recovery)

Anti Radqueer

.・。.・゜✭・.・゜゜・

🔪 - Cykainre

Pronouns: She/Her, Gore/Goreself, Blood/Bloodself, Yandere/Yandereself

Proship, Pro Endo, Pro Para (Anti-Contact), Pro RQ - Dark/Comshipper

🔪 - Cykainre's Intro

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They Who Wanted To Be Mentioned / Non Frequent Fronters:

Octavia: 💫✨🌙 - Octavia's Gender Hoard [Link]

Eve: ☢️ - Eve's Info Hoard - 35 Chrono, Pro Radqueer, Transcotard, Aroace, Transwoman,

Jack: 🧟‍♂️ - 27 Chrono, Pro Radqueer, Transcotard, Bisexual/Biromantic,

Cyrys: 🖥 - 28 Chrono,

Veda: 🎤 - 20 Chrono,

Saturn: 🪐 - Immortal,

Sunflower: 🌻 - 36 Chrono,

Raven: 🥩 - 16 Chrono,

Ieku: 🎀 - 16 Chrono,

Khke-Kari: 🎬 - 28 Chrono,

Copper: 🏆 - 22 Chrono,

Emerson: 🐉 - 23 Chrono,

Alice: 💉 - 18 Chrono,

Andrew: ⚔️ - 23 Chrono,

Aiden: 🪽 - 30 Chrono,

Aaron: 🌺 - Age Slider,

Kenzo: 🔇 - 27 Chrono,

Jacob: 🦴 - 22 Chrono,

Sarah: 🪦 - 17 Chrono,

Lily & Leo: ♊ - Lily: 5 Chrono, Leo: 15 Chrono

Ethan & Etaine: 🌋 - Both: Age Slider: 6, 16, 19

Matilda: 🔗 - 36 Chrono,

Scottie: 0⃣ - 31 Chrono,

Lots of love to our headmates who remain private and unnamed.

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Current Alter blogs:

Laromi's Blogs. Only Laromi is allowed to use these blogs.

SFW: laromi-chills ☀🌼⚡

NSFW: laromi-immoral 🌙🌸✨

Conor's blog

conorfenray 🐺

Spyrie's blog

[SFW ONLY] spyriethereal 💎

Greyson's Blog

[SFW ONLY] purpled 🟣 (anti-radqueer + anti-proship)

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[lorkonsghost]

Sorry I met post this last night the rest of chapters will be on Ao3 but here's the completed chapter 1 hope guys forgive me about this I haven't really wrote fanfic for anyone other myself for while which was mostly self satisfaction fics I had in brief spurts of inspiration I had so understand this might be a bit oocish for now and hopefully it gets better and in this au is more about the how turtles and friend react with dc April and jason are just tools that and if happen to write a good love story along the way is good to.

The Red Hood ,The Red Head, The Big Bats, And The Big Green Turtles.

They miss being normal

 

Things about this au this all started when the Turtles where 13 and April was 16 she’s been with the Turtles for 5 years after her father dies in this au she only has 3 human friends in this au Irma who doesn’t know anything about the Turtles. Casey Jones who left for college and hopefully to go pro in hockey also he going for a physical education degree. An Karai who is currently in Japan trying to take over the foot clan their from shredder.

 

Jason in this au is friends with all outlaws and Rose he’s been back in Gotham since he was 17 and a crime lord. He’s been and is on good terms with Bruce for most part they can be in same room and have pleasant conversation as long as the joker not brought up. He doesn’t like Ra’s for a few reasons a lot because of Tim although don’t tell him that and he feels used by Taila

 

 

 

 

 Jason has no idea why he’s fighting alien robots with almost 6ft tall turtles, or why the girl he started dating a month ago is also fighting said alien robots but he wasn’t really going to question it. He was fighting alien robots makes a lot of things easier if you don’t question them wait are those fucking ninjas and why did the turtle in red say their name like it’s a bad thing. Jason was really rethinking coming to New York to go drinking by himself was a bad idea maybe if he at least brought Roy he wouldn’t be in this mess.

 

1 month ago, and 2 weeks after Jason’s 21 birthday

 

Jason was getting sick of always having someone tag along every time he went drinking, for his 21st birthday wasn’t the problem, but the 4 times he tried after that though. The first time doing it solo Dick showed up not 10 seconds after his first shot the next tine he did it was in star city and Roy showed up before even his first shot. The third time it had to be a joke because why did Rose fucking Wilson show up at the bar he was drinking at in central city she normally never even visit central city. The fourth time he knew it was joke because he went to the most sewer rat bar in Gotham and for fuck sake why was Bruce their wearing a fucking fake mustache. Jason wasn’t really annoyed at not drinking alone if he actually wanted to do that he would just stay home and buy a few beers with Bruce’s credit card but it was the fact that he kept running into people he new he just wanted to get drunk and make a few mistakes but no now somebody he new was their and he can’t go embarrassing himself in front of them he had reputation to up hold. So that’s why he’s in New York he knows almost no hero’s who even touch New York so he thought no problems.

Jason was a few drinks in when he first saw her it looked like the first time she ever been in bar by herself and Jason thought why would she choose such a warn down bar like this. Jason took a shot for confidence and approached her thinking the most he could do is keep her company.

 

“Hello their beautiful looking kind of lonely mind if I join.” Jason say with his buzzed confidence

 “Hmph ha ha ha are you serious my ex had better pick up lines.” the red headed girl says

“Sorry I never been the kind of guy to try pick up a girl this way.” Jason says with a slightly bruised pride

“Oh so how you do it mister aren’t you looking lonely miss.” Her blue eyes smiled behind her glass

“honestly most of the time we just start dating or they fall for bad boy charm” Jason with a cocky smile

“Sorry dated one bad boy don’t know if I need another” her red hair drops a bit but she says with a cheer in her voice

Jason doesn’t know actually why he tried flirting with her Jason knew it wasn’t good to get involved with a civilian Isabel taught him that he missed the flight attendant. But maybe it was the alcohol In his system, or it was the fact he wanted to ignore the hero stuff that’s also probably why he wanted to drink  without anyone he new he just wanted a night where he’s okay to be somebody other than Jason Todd the red hood, the son of Batman in somebody’s eye just Jason.

 

“I never introduced myself I’m Jason I’m not just a bad boy I also happen to read pride and prejudice.” Jason says in half cocky smile with another swig of his drink

“Okay mister Jason tell  me your favorite quote and I’ll tell you my name” Her smile softens

“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.” “I know the original quote is about falling in love but it’s like I lived my life by it”  Jason says trying to hide the emotions he feels when he says it

“My names April so you where telling the truth about reading it” April say with a reassuring smile

Jason collects himself for a moment he’s kinda surprised how far he’s come along in this conversation. Jason really was only Jason right now no baggage to unravel yet and he’s okay with that right now it only him, April, his slowly blurring vision, and the hope maybe he could get a date out of this.

“So miss April tell me something other than your name please”. Jason say with a half smile

“Well currently I’m trying to be a journalist but to get the last 5 credits of my degree I need to intern under another journalist for a year.” April says with a slight annoyed frown on her face

“so what’s the problem can’t find respectable enough journalist or something else” Jason says trying to offer a chance to vent

“It’s not that it’s just any intern ship I apply for needs me full time and my home life just doesn’t allow that right now” April says with happier expression

Jason wants to call in a favor from Clark or Lois so bad right know he really could solve this girls problems with a phone call. But Jason was taught by Bruce, Ra’s, Dick, and Talia you can’t solve all the problems even if two them he would stab and not regret it and Bruce and Dick have been off his shit list for a good minute. But all of them where right he can’t just solve her problem for no reason but Jason wanted to do he makes a compromise.

“Okay that’s problem I could possibly help with” Jason says with cockiest smile yet

“Oh how so” April says with curiosity

“So a family friend is a journalist I could put in a word for and give you a chance at something buuut with it would be uup to you to convince them to agree to whatever youuu propose” Jason say with seriousness but with slurring

“Are you serious why would you do that for me” April says questionably

“Well I could ask you for a date as compensation but instead here’s what in going to do I give them a word if they give you a chance you go on date with me as celebration if they don’t drop my number we never talk again” Jason says with a smile

“Well mister Jason you got a deal and if don’t get I might stillll give you a chaaaasnccce for at least not being a creeeep” April tries to say a little flirty

Jason grabs a napkin and calls the waiter over to closes his tab and ask to borrow a pen and writes his number down

“call me in the morning I’ll set up an interview” Jason say as gets and walks over to April

Jason kisses the back of April hand and says as looks into her eyes once more ”Did you admire me for my impertinence?”

April laughs “yeah I did.”

Jason offers to pay for April’s tab as well but she’s says it’s okay and as Jason leaves he wonders if he’s doing the smart thing involving April in his life.

 

 

April was tired, The Turtles where getting on her nerves a little yeah they where her little brothers in her eyes but still April missed Casey Johns. Although they dated for awhile and lived together and also one maybe 5 good humans who actually new about the turtles. But then Casey Jones afford a full ride scholarship and a almost guaranteed spot on the hockey team for some big school in North Dakota. Both April and him knew this was only chance out of this life and chance to full fill his dream of going pro.

 

April didn’t blame him but she could still be mad dammit then he comes back for your 21 birthday a week ago and their it is the spark. But then he leaves again now April here drinking in a bar she never been to because she only been 21 for a week and she had pass up on another internship. Also this the first time she’s been in a bar by herself and honestly it probably wasn’t a smart idea.

 

When Jason first approached her she felt like he was similar to Casey but she was wrong he was a little awkward and had already a few to many drinks in his system. But without much he Offered to help with internship, he let her rant although he was bit to drunk he answered all her questions honestly. April actually wanted to give it a shot although she could see how it could look like a rebound. She hopes the turtles won’t give her hard time about this.

 

After she left she knew how to get home and it wasn’t by car she wished it was sometimes she walked be behind the bar and found the manhole picked up and went down. She had a normal apartment but that was only for mail and throwing away of dirty money they took from shredder or the purple dragon’s and honestly she wished they just had over to the police but nope. Officially April’s a college student who works for nights at TCRI Donnie faked it for her who make a pretty penny their all though that’s just so she could have the fake address most money goes for food and other essentials for the lair.

 

Getting to lair is never easy since it technically apart of section of abandoned sewer. But April was taught by master splinter even drunk she navigate theses sewers and make all the jumps needed. When she finally gets close she knows because it always has a hint pizza coming from it.

 

Ralph was only one up it appeared she could hear Splinter snoring so she new he was asleep so it was safe to assume they other where as well. Although Donnie could be working in his lab but she didn’t hear anything so not likely and Leo normally doesn’t stay up on slow nights. Ralph was probably awake ether waiting for her return or was playing the pinball machine again.

 

Ralph in a rough voice While not looking away from pinball machine ”So your back form the bar April”

 

“Whooos said I went to the bar “ April tries to lie

 

Ralph says with a bit of worry “April I can smell booze from here, and I see your stumbling I don’t even know how you made it back without getting hurt. You also just slurred you words together I might not be a detective even I can see your drunk”

 

Ralph takes a breath looks her up and down “ I know why you went to bar and probably not the best for this conversation but April I get it your lonely and all other humans who know about us are old, evil, or we can’t meet often. And it doesn’t help you can’t bring yourself to live normal life”

 

April went silent maybe it was alcohol or it was Ralph being right on mark. Unlike Casey who joined this as like a helping hand, April was kind of forced into this and feels she owes the Turtles so much. April knows she doesn’t she helped them as much as they helped her. They become her family when none of hers where left she can’t abandon them Casey still had a sister, and a mom he didn’t need a family the only reason he stayed as long as he did was for her. An as long she was their sister she wasn’t abandoning them.

 

“Can we talk about this in morning when I’m not drunk” April use as excuse to leave the conversation

 

“Fine, but know this I know full well your capable of having a full on ass complex conversation. Even when drunk splinter taught us all how to maintain cognitive thinking even under the worst hallucinogens being a bit drunk is same as fully lucid to you” Ralph says with a tone that says this isn’t over yet

 

“Ok just let me sleep it off and Ralph your right” April says with defeat

 

Ralph says “About what”

 

April open her rooms door ”probably everything”

[watchtheblog]

Cutting Slack

hello to the hierarchy of my besties: irl besties, internet besties, fantasy besties; the hierarchy of my haters: just the three of you, followed by someone who goes by the alias k.s on google reviews; an ever dwindling number of exes who can read, a handful of people i’m just getting to know who are about to know me too well too fast, and anyone else who has stumbled upon this highly specific page on the internet!!

if you’ve been here before, you know the deal. i’m going to weave a web of little jokes into a somewhat coherent story and then as a reward for knowing me you get the opportunity to see 20 things i hope to receive for my birthday, which, i hope you know… is tomorrow (26 september); i’m turning 94.

The joke web:

In february 2023 after the company I co-created sold to one of the corniest companies on the planet, I quit because they wanted me to set forth eight hours a day I would be available to do work. Seven years into a job I’d put 8 hours a year into, this was a startling task.

Also, they wanted me to become a member of slack, or get on slack, or write to them in slack. Or do something, whatever one does, on slack. You can do a lot of things to me, but what you’re not gonna do is make me go on slack. Many have tried in the past and not a one has ever succeeded.

Not to sound like Mark Cuban - or myself in [redacted] years -  but an 8 hour workday was not for me. And I explained this. I told a woman alleging to be my supervisor that every morning I woke up, I did cult for 20 minutes, wrote in my journal for 45 minutes, went for a 1 hour walk, came home, showered, drank a little poison, read for one hour in my garden, did some dilly dallying on the internet, and then I went to an appointment*, and by the time I was done with all of that it was already 4pm and that’s wind down time in my culture. 

Where did she want me to find 8 hours?!

(*i realize appointment time is not a thing (everyone can understand) but I’m gonna have to save it for another post. appointment time is sacred in a directionless little bug’s life and it deserves to be explained properly.)

If you think I’m joking that I laid out this schedule to a woman who was born inside a human resources complaint folder and whose dearly departed soul resides within a ludicrously capacious bag somewhere, I beg you to get to know me better.

Fundamentally, she did not understand and spiritually I was not the messenger to enlighten her, so I decided to quit.

I am impulsive by nature but this decision was incredibly thought out. I wrote down a list of pros and cons and I titled the cons list “things I’m not aligned with” and I listed 11 things.

“I dont want to be managed!!!!!!” (this is a literal copy and paste) topped the chart.

To follow? “Corporate weirdness”, and, simply: “Slack”.

On the pros list I wrote: “Freedom”, “I will finally be free”. (LOL!) Underneath it, it says “Take a fucking risk.”

I sat with these lists for approximately three minutes, and then I wrote an email announcing my resignation. And then I quite literally never spoke to anyone there ever again.

This all leads me to one short pivot before we’ll arrive at our final destination of my birthday list. 

When I mentioned earlier that I am impulsive by nature, I mean that I quit my job because someone said there was a question posed to me in Slack and I needed to answer it came to Ohio to visit my dad’s (RIP) childhood home and my (then) girlfriend convinced me to call the number on a commercial real estate building and within 45 days I’d signed a lease and 90 days later I had packed, driven, and moved my entire life across the country. 

When I moved here, I knew no one so I did a lot of things you may think only people who are on reality dating shows do, like: go to an espresso martini making class, cook marshmallows over an open fire in a state park at night with strangers, slide down a snowy hill on a plastic saucer as an activity, or attend a local rat’s birthday party.*

*disclaimer for anyone here who doesn’t GET me bc I’m scared to be misunderstood: i loved all of these things I’m not mocking them; I’m simply holding a light to the absurdity of my *on the spectrum, agoraphobic weirdo* ass doing these things in earnest because i needed to not kms. ◡̈  kms stands for k*ll myself.*

(Of course all of these things on a reality dating show would involve two people, whereas in my case I did all of those things alone.)

As a treat for my efforts to be a member of society, the universe provided me with the unique gift of meeting the anthropomorphic version of my intrusive thoughts!! 

We’ll call her Gloria (for no reason) and in our first phone conversation she had called everyone in the state of ohio “fat, lazy and bipolar” and told me my business would fail.

One minute after we hung up, she texted asking if I wanted to sauna with her right now. Now mind you, I’ve been doing shit “for the lore” since before it was called “lore” and men were just telling me I was insane (simpler times!!) so I grabbed a bikini and drove 9 minutes ready to go in a sauna with a random lady I’d never met.

And go in a sauna with a random lady I did... fully clothed for a reason that both confused and relieved me. In that sauna, Gloria repeated the aforementioned phone topics and added a pointed “nobody wants to work out; you will fail” while staring at me in a box heated to 130 degrees.

“It’s okay. Everything is always working out for me” I told her as she persisted in her negativity, because I lacked the ability to just tell her to shut the fuck up (and also because that is true). 

I considered the possibility of her behavior coming from a good intentioned place, like when cars driving the opposite direction flash their lights to let you know they just passed a cop (as if that ever hits). I considered it was an act of humanity, one unstable woman to another; trying to save me from the hell she thought was inevitable given her own - self proclaimed - “failure”. (she had opened and closed a studio of her own.)

So I let her keep flashing her dumb lights at me, showing up to my studio uninvited in the middle of my buildout telling me I should see if my landlord would let me out of my lease, texting me little foreboding horror stories about the perils of being in the fitness industry, sending me local businesses that were closing as if to say “i told you so; i’m warning you.”

“You’ll see” she said multiple times, as if to predict my ultimate demise in a way I’d be able to reflect on in the future, remembering she’d warned me. 

In those moments and in the months of desperation and grind leading up to the opening of my business I had no other choice but to move forward blindly, confidently. Long before I met this psychopath I had prepared for the possibility of failure. Unlike this woman, however, that preparation involved the potential of having to say “I failed… now what?” rather than “I failed. I’m the rule, not the exception. The journey is impossible.”

It’s been almost two years since I left the career I thought would define me, and while I certainly haven’t failed, I’m not writing this from the other side. I’m writing this from the beginning of a long journey I’m prepared and excited to be on that began the day I decided to take a fucking risk.

Two years ago I couldn’t find 8 hours a day to work and now somehow I’ve found 14-18…

and not a single one of them has been spent on slack. 

The Gift Portion!!!  the intangible: for the dismantling of nextdoor dot com, for all my bad memories to be erased, to win the war against seed oils, for the ai to stop(!!!), that the person who sullied my google reviews finds God and healing bc going against me is a form of psychosis, for great deals on this upcoming amazon prime day, that natalia grace is ok, that i never hear a telephone ring again, for watermelon to be in season all the time, that nobody is ever mad at me, that all eggs would turn to donuts in a way that would not have negative implications for chickens or negative repercussions for farmers, that everyone bounces back from whatever inevitable side effects ozempic will have, that my frequently used emoji are all safe and sound after getting rearranged, and for everyone I know and love to read the source by dr tara swart, and that they are all happy, healthy, successful, and in love forever.

the ones you can buy: these shoes (size 38)  or these shoes (size 38) also these (and you guessed it! 38) i want to fix my brain here, a casual five day immersive neurofeedback experience this watch this large suitcase or this one i cant pick this gorgeana kind of urgently, this these shoes (great deal alert!!!!) (size 38) i think the trajectory of my life would change if i owed four of these and maybe some other things to go with it big year for shoes … huge a stunning linen spray this practical thing her this or something else from her(e) these, white, small also kind of urgently, these this definitely the max mara teddy coat in the absolute smallest size and this is the last time I’m gonna put it here!!!!!! ykto!!! (lol!!)

[abbynx]

Call me

Gavril from the Bubo Series Fanfic

Riddled with thoughts you've kept suppressed come spilling out in the middle of the night.

Gender neutral.

The Bubo Series is by partuulla, go support them! 💝✨ Also. I fear that Gav might be OOC and for that, I am so sorry.

That night, you maybe would have died if you slept like a log throughout a break-in even after a tiring day. Painless death, with no trace of your body, perhaps not even a sign of struggle. Police investigation may come to conclusions that you might have ran away but then again, that would be a questionable disappearance as you really showed no signs of of such. Your belongings intact (except for maybe the foods in your fridge), through texts you never really showed any hints. Neighbors and co-workers wouldn't even know where you went, nor would your loved ones.

You'd be plastered in thumbnails of exploitative True Crime shows. If you hadn't crept down the stairs and swung your bat at the first thing you saw, then yes, you would have died too. There was just about plenty ways for you to die that night and thankfully you had taken the right steps to keep your life. Gavril could kill you but for some reason, he didn't.

Reason in which you can only assume to attaching himself to the first person who shows the barely barest minimum of human kindness. You have no recollection by which you had expressed hints of being interested with him, you were just trying to survive and live another day.

"You really are lonely"

Back then, you mentally scoffed at the statement. 'Projection much?' you thought. You don't even know where he pulled that from, aside from the man himself... Only to have that confirmation upon conversing with him further.

Suddenly, you were in a relationship that would put your middle school relationship to shame. Neck-break pace of getting in a relationship, that's a new record, Disney Princesses could never. It felt like being a hostage for fuck's sake, what would have happened if you rejected him? Knowing nothing about him but his first name (not even his full name), favourite food, some of his hobbies that isn't larceny, has a friend rat, and he travels a lot. Well, you came to know more about him when you reached out to him via texts, which he was quick and particularly eager to reply.

There was this lingering thought of calling the police on him after he had given his number to you. Give his contact detail to the authorities and let them have him. But you didn't. You had the choice not to talk to him, but you did and in fact, they were highlights of your days. The Pavlovian effect it had instilled within you was just pathetically laughable in your eyes, how you'd perk up at the notification coming from your phone. Not to be a stupid romantic cliché nut, but he brings a warm tug on your cheeks when you can't help but smile with every texts. Cringe, but true. You were starting to wonder whether he saw through you when he said you were lonely or it was sheer projection and you were just being a crazy defensive bitch.

But in all this, there's this nagging voice at the back of your head. What the fuck is this relationship?What does 'not roomates' even mean? He calls you darling, but what if that is just him being friendly and referring to friends with terms of endearment? Like you've thought before, you have barely expressed something remotely close to romantic that night but at the same time, he seems to be the type to get attached so fast with the show of the minute show of the bare minimum of being a decent fucking person. What if it is just friendship he wants? You want nothing more but the clarity of the boundaries of your relationship in fear of overstepping or making him uncomfortable. It is why you have been holding back no matter how playful he is with flirtations.

You've had previous relationship experiences that had made you this... Wary. Out of defense, you always kept that annoying nagging paranoia on your mental bedside table to protect yourself or the other person from the inevitable heartbreak. This is unabashedly so middle school relationship-coded, you have no idea why you continue to indulge this at this age, were you really trying to achieve a new low? You have nothing against Gavril... Okay, maybe you do, the man did try to eat you, it is justified, but water under the bridge (sort of), but other than that, he is just a bit of a recluse and withdrawn from certain topics.

Whenever you'd ask for clarifications of what your relationship is, he would often swerve the topic away. It was painfully obvious how he doesn't want to address it. In one month you knew him, maybe he does not know either or maybe there is nothing at all in this relationship but he is afraid to answer. You learned not to further upset him by allowing him to change the subject and it has always been that way. You are well-aware that it's a red flag, his refusal to communicate but did that sway you away from him? Barely.

We need to talk.

I need you to be serious.

You are well-aware how much these words can be anxiety-inducing and would immediately hold his attention with no cutesy emojis indicated. At first you didn't exactly know why you wanted to know until you texted him. It wasn't to confirm any of your paranoia and hurt yourself in the process, you genuinely want to fix it... Keep him longer. At least there's some growth, the old Y/N would have done this with the intent being the former. Old Y/N would set up the trap, and if they didn't like what they heard, they're pushing the person away before they could feel hurt.

Yes?

Eager as ever, he was always quick to reply.

What are we exactly?

To him, it was unprompted for the day, to be fair, it had always been a question which lingered every time you talked with him. You just wanted an answer, why can't he answer it? It's not like you were asking for too much, you just wanted to know. How serious does he want this to be?

Not roommates 😅

It took him longer to reply, considering his icon had been bouncing for a few moment that you'd assume he already has at least a paragraph ready. This would have made you smile, but today was different.

I'm serious Gavril.

For a moment you were struck with guilt. Were you selfish to put him in such an uncomfortable position right now? Maybe there is a reason he does not want to answer— no... Communication is key, and you need to know at least an inkling of how he feels to know how to proceed.

Here's another one, why do you always avoid this question? I just want to know so we know how to talk about this.

I honestly don't know

Can I call?

Go ahead

Almost immediately his contact appeared on your notification tab, ringing incessantly. Upon answering, you can hear all sorts of background noises on his end, most of them being the motors of vehicles.

"I hope it's not an inconvenience that I called, but I don't think I can text what's on my mind." His voice was clear despite the city noises you can hear from his end.

"All good."

For a moment he stumbles, pausing momentarily in search for words and gather his thoughts. "I don't know what are we honestly. I always thought that we're... Ya know... A thing," again with the vagueness, but you let him continue. "But then you started asking 'what are we', I also started to question that and I can't really return the question around since you're also confused... I... I just don't know how to, y'know, start a conversation about it. I always thought that if we don't talk about it, it would be fine." Uncertainty was in his voice as he rambled, sighing by the end of it. "Why are you asking?"

"I didn't want to assume what our relationship is. I want to avoid overstepping some boundaries. Been there, done that." A bitter laugh originates from your throat, memories of past relationships flooding in your mind. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable... I... I'm sorry, I overthink a lot of things that sometimes I just make problems in my head and--"

"No, you didn't make it up. I think this has been keeping you up a lot and you just wanted to talk about it properly. I'm sorry for not clarifying sooner," His tone was light and pleasant, there he was again being the warm tug on your cheeks. The anxiety in your chest subsides with his words and honestly, you have no idea how much you can hold on to it before abandoning him all together. "Well then, what do you want us to be?"

There was that question again, this time it came from him. He already thought you guys are a thing, whatever that means, but perhaps now it bears a certain connotation that have just been confirmed and you can't help but to smile.

"I like what we have..." Except now you're now aware of it. Perhaps in time you'd be more comfortable expressing yourself as well. "I guess we are a thing"

"A bit vague but I guess we don't really have a word for it yet," He chuckled on the other side of the line. To be frank, he isn't quite comfortable labelling it as a 'couple' yet. Emphasis on yet. "I'm glad you brought this up."

"You are?" You sheepishly ask, fumbling with your sleeve. "I was always told that I'm just paranoid. Er, everyone says that I am. That everything that I overthink only becomes a problem when I bring them up... So sometimes I just try to shut up because I don't want any trouble and then every problem I 'created' in my mind just plays out and comes apart at the seams and ruins everything."

"Sounds like they're the problem. You're just pointing it out and they're not listening. Let me guess, they blamed you to some degree?"

"Bullseye. No wonder I thought being alone was better," You bitterly chuckled, before sighing. "This is... Stupidly depressing. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. And it's depressingly relatable. But at least we have each other."

That's reassuring, you'll take it. A yawn creeps from your mouth as you responded, "Right."

"Go to bed. It's late already."

"Only if you do the same." Knowing him, he'd skip sleep yet again.

"Fine." He relents with a defeated sigh. "Next time, just address the problems okay? I promise you're not paranoid."

The old you would be in deep doubt. The current you is just relieved at the reassurances sent your way. Heart strings were strummed and you smiled through the haze of sleepiness.

"Promise."

"Alright. Good night, darling."

Half-lidded eyes flew for a moment when you hear the term of endearment, the word rolling off his tongue, pass his lips suddenly envelopes you with warmth in the late, cold night.

"Goodnight, Gavril."

[otaku-orochi-okami]

Oi, oi, babes, it’s your girl Kenzie, innit, proper council estate princess wiv me red hair blazin’ like a fuckin’ bonfire, slayin’ this skanky game while you lot, you manky beta incels, are scrollin’ Lew’s beta material Tumblr, tryna catch a whiff of me vibe. I’m out here puffin’ a fag, neckin’ cheap-arse vodka straight from the offie bag ‘cos I’m a classy slag who don’t need no sparkly fuckin’ glass, rockin’ me skintight Nike Pro—black leggings huggin’ me arse and a crop top flashin’ me belly—wiv this baggy yellow Tommy Hilfiger coat slung over me scrawny little bod, lookin’ like the nangest ting on the block, yeah? And you lot? I’m pissin’ meself laughin’ at you sad twats, lol.

Oh my fuckin��� days, babes, you’re all such minging little tragedies. **takes a massive drag, flops back like a proper diva, tiltin’ me head to the sky to blow out a fat cloud of smoke while flickin’ me red locks over me shoulder like a sassy mare** You’re stuck in your damp, shitty rooms, tappin’ them grubby keyboards, likin’ Lew’s pathetic beta posts, wiv no rizz, no banter, just pure loser stench. Closest you’re gettin’ to a proper fit bird like me is peekin’ through the keyhole while your mum’s gettin’ smashed by the scruffy geezer deliverin’ the milk, yeah? I’m creasin’ so hard me vodka’s splashin’ all over me banging yellow coat, but it’s calm ‘cos I’m still a total baddie, innit.

**twirls me red hair round me finger like a flirty little minx, smirkin’ like I own the estate** You lot are probs tuggin’ it to me 2D waifu snaps on Lew’s rank blog. That twat Lew? He’s a right gormless muppet—lanky, gormless, and stumblin’ over his own feet like a proper melt—but he’s me little simp bitch ‘cos he’s gaggin’ for me vibe, droolin’ over me like a sad puppy. **flicks me hand like a stroppy little cow, rollin’ me eyes so hard they might pop out** Real talk though, he can sod off, yeah? Ain’t got no time for his droopy simp arse tryna cling to me glow—bite off, you lanky prick! You betas though? You lot even worse innit. You’re the fuckin’ pits—droolin’ over me selfies, tryna creep into me DMs wiv some limp ‘hiya babe’ bollocks. Mate, I’m a whole fuckin’ vibe, a red-haired estate goddess wiv more sass than your nan’s burnt toast—you ain’t got the balls to chat me up!

I don’t know fuck all ‘bout books or that posh shit, but I know I’m the hottest slag on the road, yeah? I’m cacklin’ me tits off at you pricks, but now I’m takin’ over—gonna turn you lot into proper skanky chav bitches, lol.

You reckon you’re all fancy and proper, yeah? Struttin’ about in your poncey trousers and shirts like you’re some la-di-da wankers wiv a reputation. Babes, you’re fuckin’ nobodies—straight up council estate rejects! You don’t deserve a scrap of respect, so let’s shred every last bit of that fake dignity hangin’ off your scrawny necks. Bin them snooty white boi garms—grab some rusty scissors, rip them shirts and trousers to fuckin’ tatters, and we’re leggin’ it to the market for some dodgy Adidas and Nike clobber, proper cheap and rank, yeah? That’s your new look now, you little slags!

**twirls me hair again, flickin’ ash on the pavement like a filthy cow, smirkin’ like a right tart** And chuck out that poncey white boi music you’ve been twiddlin’ to—all that soft shite can fuck right off. It’s Molly Brazy, Cuban Doll, and Saweetie blarin’ out me cracked phone speaker from now on, while you lot wiggle your bony arses proper. You’re me little chavvy minions, innit—gonna toughen you up, get you puffin’ fags and nickin’ warm lager from the corner shop. I’m draggin’ you down to me skanky level, babes—gonna have you lookin’ and actin’ like the roughest little estate rats by the time I’m done!

Once we’ve nabbed your new clobber—baggy trackies wiv fake stripes, hoods up, lookin’ like proper scallies—you’re me skanky little posse, yeah? Then here’s the plan, babes—when it’s dark, we’re hittin’ that posh playground. That clean, fancy one all the stuck-up twats love? We’re gonna piss all over it—swings, slide, the fuckin’ lot—like we’re flushin’ away every speck of that prissy crap you used to cling to. No more actin’ posh, no more ‘oh, let’s be prim’—you ain’t allowed to be fancy no more, you mucky little cows!

**chucks me vodka bottle over me shoulder into some twat’s garden, giggling’ like a mad baddie as it smashes** Picture it, yeah—you lot in your knock-off gear, staggerin’ about in the dark, unzippin’ and sprayin’ piss all over that playground like it’s a fuckin’ ritual. Swings drippin’ wiv wee, slide turnin’ into a stinkin’ piss river—we’re claimin’ it, tellin’ all that posh bollocks to fuck off. You’re me filthy little gremlins now, kickin’ cans, gobbin’ on the pavement, livin’ loud and nasty. So get ready, babes—market’s callin’, and that playground’s gettin’ a proper chavvy piss-up tonight! **blows a sloppy air kiss, flippin’ the bird while laughin’ me arse off** ‘Cos I’m Kenzie, the skankiest estate waifu, and I’m turnin’ you lot into the grimiest legends of the block, lol. 💋💅

---

Oi, you lot, stop faffin’ about like a bunch of wet wipes—grab them scissors and start hackin’ up them posh rags! We ain’t got time to waste, babes, market’s buzzin’ and I ain’t haulin’ your pathetic arses there lookin’ like some snooty pricks. Move it, yeah—time to make you into the skankiest chav bitches this estate’s ever seen! **takes a drag, smirkin’ like a proper cheeky slag** Hurry up, fam!

[spilledreality]

Warlock (1958)

"And it's all so Girardean..."

Admiration traps a man. Reputation becomes the prison he inhabits, and cannot escape. Yesterday's shock, today's expectation. Yesterday's gift, today's obligation.

And Warlock (Oakley Hall, 1958) is a "claustrophobic" novel: "no epic of the wide-open spaces," its plot plays out in the town's nooks and crannies. Back-shooters in back alleys; panoptic casinos, with shotgun sentries like prison guards from the mezzanine.

Some of its residents try to leave and fail. Some of its residents say they'll leave, and never do. And some, in fact, make it out. They are invariably pulled back in. As if their doom were predetermined. "[Gannon] had fled this hard and aimless callousness where a human life was only a part of a game, and never, so far as he had seen, a fair game. He had thought he could escape it by fleeing it. But he could not…; and he could not escape himself…"

"And it's all so Girardean." Clay Blaisedell, our gunslinging hero, is a mimetic model nonpareil. Held up, only to be torn down. Posted on the cross. Envy bleeding down his fingers into hate. He who Has; He who Gets His; He who Takes His. The man of luck, and successful tactic. The man of admiration. His example triggers a behavioral cascade. His mimetic magnetism mutates local equilibria. Not an easy task; a task which mandates courage. As his prize, the Lady of the Town—for her place is to choose him; to anoint the knight, reward the reputation. And this—like rats, watching one of their own receive cocaine—inspires both courage and envy.

These are new words for old truths. It Is Known, this corrupted path which jealous desire may take: where men tear one another down, to have what could never, by such means be given them. Covetousness, we call it, or "scarcity mindset," or "zero-sum thinking." And this opposed to the pro-social ethos of self-improvement—the only righteous road to inheritance.

Blaisedell is a myth, a story, a reputation. His narrative not only precedes but supersedes the mammal. It is a story that changes the town. The real man is merely a means to the story, which has co-authors: his Lady, our Angel of Warlock; his Brother, the Black Rattlesnake; and his Child, the Boy Gannon. For Blaisedell is also a man of Clay, a humus being. Moldable, and fallible, they say: incapable of living up the myth, and envy pulling him down with crabclaws. Facts must be curated. The plot must be pushed into proper place. This, at least, is the opinion of his Lady. The supremacy of story will destroy the man. But this is the sacrifice expected for his Town. And it is the story she loves, anyway. Her own story, and His.

⍟

Wood is scarce, in Warlock, but buildings keep burning. Structure destroyed by factional feuds, til the whole world's bare. Ruins. Corpses. Men are like corn. Cut them down, plant them again. What is it for?

"Murder done, there was kin to take it up and cut down the murdering dog," til no kin left. Or til kin—renouncing their role as kindling, and possessed by that idea we call Law—seek something higher. Not to escape the fire, but by their example, starve the fire of fuel. "So this old world remakes itself time and time again, each time in labor and in pain and the best men crucified for it."

Yes, in the Beginning "it was alright to stand up for your own, it was the first principle." Family and feud that first way of nature, feudal and futile. But nature searches for new stabilities—and certain allegiances, certain bindings, must be unbound, for new fabrics to weave. And just as a culture of milking of cows leads to the persistence of a lactase gene, so might an idea like Justice—blind and bescaled—forever alter the race.

Big shoes to fill, they say of men who set high expectations, for the role they have served. By the time Warlock ends, our hero Boy Gannon is halfway limping, for his starboots are far too tight for those feet of his. A standard—to which the wise and honest soul may repair...

But all that survives of Tombstone is Warlock. "We wake as if from a trance to realize we have been reading the history of a ghost town."

[ratsinatrenchcoat-system]

Hey There Cutie!

This Blog is run by the Rat System! And this post is designed by not only our lovely Host but also our (current?) Co-host!

Angel and Glits!

But collectively we go by River or Rats and They/Them pronouns

And yes, we are very aware that it isn't very Rat themed, but I'm the one setting most of it up so hush <3

More info below the cut

∘₊✧─────────────────────✧₊∘

❥ Not everyone will sign off, but all of our post will be tagged under the rat system! If someone decides not to sign off, assume it's a collective post!

❥ Bodily a minor, if your over 18 we'd appreciate it if you'd tread carefully around us

❥ Not diagnosed, but actively seeking care through therapy

❥ We're still a baby system, meaning we are still figuring stuff out, go easy on us

❥ Low split tolerance and fictive heavy💔💔

❥ This is our safe space, so don't get pissy if we block you!

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ 𝐵𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠 ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

✮ No Syscource

✮ No Pro/Anti anything

✮ No NSFW/18+ blogs

✮ Basic DNI criteria like being agents LGBTQ+ or furries

✮ No Heavily triggering topics (especially if not tagged, we will tag anything triggering if we post it)

✮ No flirting with us in any way (unless we're moots, this isn't allowed), we are not interested in dating people we don't know thank you

✮ No treating us purely off of source as an introject. We view introjecting as a second chance! So no, of course we're not going to be exactly like source, nor do we owe you source separation

✮ Don't ask about our personal lives, we share what we are comfortable with

✮ As long as you're not rude, you can stay

∘₊✧─────────────────────✧₊∘

[bonefall]

is ratscar still alive past the battle of the true eclipse? if so, what does he think of the kin and heartstar?

Y'know, I'm still kinda considering if he is or not.

I need more Kin defectors, and it's especially important for ShadowClan since they only have 3 diehard DF trainees (Applefur, Redwillow, Ratscar) that at least one of them survives to join the Kin

So I'm kind of leaning towards Blackstar exiling Ratscar, in spite of his age, maybe even stripping him of his Honor Title. Force him to live in shame as Meltpelt, the Kin appeals to him as an exile, and that's the dividing reason why Snowbird and Co end up so ferociously pro-Kin. Besides her husband Scorchfur just... consistently having the most violent opinion in the room, I mean.

But GOD he's old. He's REALLY old. I'm beginning to worry about the oldest cats having continued active relevance as fighters, Ashfoot too. Ratscar was a senior warrior in TPB and was a warrior under Raggedstar, making at least 7 years old. It's been almost 10 years and he is looking at 17.

This isn't the WORST problem since BB Cats are living longer than canon cats, with a life expectancy of 16 years if it's not cut short by illness or combat. But past 13, they feel their age and their self-reliance skills start to deteriorate.

But Redwillow and Applefur have a pretty good endpoint in the Battle of the True Eclipse; Redwillow taken out by Blackstar and Applefur dying next to her brother Marshwing. Ratscar works as a survivor here, unless I swap him with Redwillow due to Rat's history with Black (friends with benefits).

TL;DR, still stewing on post-OotS Ratscar.

[cloakedsparrow]

“Don’t worry, you still got me. I guess nothing’s changed” & “I heard you became an agent” aka another Resident Evil headcanon/rant

Damnation is my favorite Resident Evil film. Not just because it’s awesome but also because I feel like we get the most insight into Leon as a character in it.

He’s usually ‘on’ in some way when we see him. He’s usually either protecting someone, keeping a civilian (or fake civilian) calm/safe, or with people he can’t really trust (like Benford) or doesn’t know if he can trust yet (like Helena). But his interactions with Hunnigan, JD, and Buddy/Sasha in that film are different. He’s very raw and open. And hurt. And tired. And hungry. He really lets them (and us) know how he feels about everything. It might just be the best characterization we get from any character in this franchise.

As part of this unusual expression of feelings, he makes the title quote before hanging up on Hunnigan at the end of the film. He seems upset. He starts to storm out of the hotel room he’s in before taking a breath and walking out with a little more control. Considering that he’s on furlough during that film and then part of the DSO in the next game, I always figured the ‘I guess nothing’s changed’ line meant that Benford pulled his shit again, using something to make Leon feel he had to join the DSO. Initially, I figured it was something to do with Buddy/Sasha. After all, we do see him returning to his life as a teacher at the end, despite having kidnapped and nearly murdered a US citizen during the film.

But then In RE6 we learn that Sherry Birkin is a DSO agent who answers directly to Simmons. This strikes me as weird for several reasons.

He’s her adopted father. Wouldn’t there be a conflict of interests to him being her CO?

As unlikely as it would be irl, we keep being told that the DSO answers directly to the president, so why is she an exception?

She’s a BOW who has been kept very sheltered/protected up to this point. When, where, and how was she safely trained?

Then I thought of that part of Damnation.

What if making Sherry an agent was what got Leon to sign on? As the most experienced agent with the most successful BOW related cases under his belt, Leon would be the natural choice for all the really crazy/dangerous assignments after joining the DSO. If he were to refuse to join though, then an agent with no experience but the ability to heal rapidly would probably be a top contender for such assignments. Leon taking the position would mean protecting her all over again and that’s something Benford knows works.

I’ve never subscribed to the fan-theory that Sherry is basically Leon’s daughter. I’ve always seen it as more of an unbalanced brother-sister relationship. Leon gave everything to protect her (from Umbrella, from the US government, from a life as a lab rat, from foster care) but he was nine years older than her and busy saving the world. She specifically refers to him as the person who saved her in Raccoon City rather than just someone she can trust or has known over half her life when Jake questions her about trusting Leon in RE6. She ultimately trusts him over her adopted father, so they definitely know each other still, but it doesn’t seem like they’ve spent  lot of time together.

There’s also the way he says he heard she became an agent. It’s very...stilted. Like he’s trying not to give away too much or is maybe not too happy about that but knows it’s not his place to say anything. It’s all very much like a big brother who went off to live his life when a much younger sibling was still growing up at home. There’s trust, respect, and caring there, but only one seems caught up with the other’s life.

About that ‘not giving away to much’ thought: Leon is caring and initially trusting, but he’s also smart and has seen some serious shit. He wouldn’t have signed away his freedom to guarantee Sherry’s safety without wanting some sort of evidence that she was truly being taken care of in exchange. He’s probably been given regular reports on her, both from Simmons and from Claire. He probably has files of childhood photos and drawings, copies of medical reports/report cards, and random reports on her interests going back to when she was twelve. He probably has video of her home ballet pageants or piano recitals or whatever she was into at any given point in her childhood.

But would Sherry know about any of that? She knows who Leon is, of course. She remembers him saving her in Raccoon City and has probably heard about him from Claire, just like she heard all about Chris from her. However, no one knows how Benford ‘recruited’ Leon. Would it have been more beneficial to Benford to let Leon see her or to keep them separated so his only way of learning about her was through Benford? And what about Simmons? He agreed to take responsibility for Sherry, would he have wanted Leon potentially butting in while he saw to that responsibility?

I’d like to think Leon made sure he got to see her sometimes, but it sounds like such visitations would have been rare. With Claire able to verify whatever the reports said about Sherry, would Leon feel the need to push to see her all that often? If he was given the choice of him being able to see Sherry or Claire, I would bet he’d let Claire see her.

That means Leon would have to say something like ‘I heard you became an agent’ because at this point, they don’t have time for a full explanation, assuming he’d even be comfortable giving one. Without context, it might seem odd or even creepy for her to find out just how much he’s been keeping track of her life if she doesn’t know she was basically a hostage used to guarantee his service for years.

It kind of makes me wish we’d gotten that version of RE7 with Leon and Sherry working together. Maybe they’ll use it for a future game, like a Revelations type title that takes place in-between existing games/films. It would be interesting to see what their relationship is now that Benford isn’t around anymore.

TLDR: Headcanon that Benford let Sherry apply to be an agent of the DSO in order to force Leon to join after Damnation. Simmons probably agreed under the condition that Sherry reports to him instead of Benford. Leon has been getting reports on his surrogate little sister/instrument of coercion for years but she doesn’t know that.

[lucileee3ee]

Needing to escape the reality that allows a close friend to ask me for ‘a take’ on the war. Honestly had to put down phone for a whole day like. Annoying to constantly have to psychically assert my perspective on things israel-Palestine because it’s illegal to have the thoughts that I have because they house a spec of nuance because I have some skin in the game, and that these very same hoes would never have the courage to ask something like that of an Arab. And I don’t even want to share my option on conflict cos like the people that ask don’t even fkn care they just want to tune their own perspective so they can seem intellectual to their peers because the popular modality at the moment is to be critical of 0-1 good bad binaries. But retardedly this modus operandi too misses the point of having an opinion on something, which is to be discerning and by default irrational. So sick of these fence sitting idiots trying to construct some coherent argument like without any opinion or like perspective or I don’t even know. No you don’t have to have an opinion on the war, in fact it’s probably better that you don’t. War sucks, it’s always justified, there’s no such thing as a legal or illigal war, the only crime in war is losing, the only difference between a soldier an innocent civilian is the uniform and kids are just future soldiers, Eradicating your enemy is always evil and always permitted, being weak doesn’t make you benevolent in fact being a savage is your only strength if you are weak. I don’t hope for anything anymore, I don’t believe in change, at this point my only will is to live my life with some degree of dignity. My family is fine for now, hopefully yours is too. If you feel inclined to care about this conflict go ahead but you’re dumb.

I don’t know maybe not. I just want it to end and I don’t people in Melbourne to ask me anything about it. I don’t have answers and anyone that does is probably wrong. I’m just so sad and many people are dying right now and I keep waiting for Lebanon to join in and fuck the north up which is where my family lives and then I will be even sadder and mourn their death and then I’ll never have to think about it ever again. I hope they leave and don’t come back, they probably hate me for being here. I’m pro nationalism on a cultural level but when shit hits the fan I’m fine with rat behaviour, we’re Jews, we’re good at that. I want my family to leave and start somewhere else. I want everyone to die there I want a lot of things to change. Fuck Palestine fuck Israel fuck you, let them annihilate each other let American and Iran start ww3, let a nuclear holocaust reap what it reaps, let humanity break and re build in an even more stupid orientation. Focus on small insignificant things like hunting, or the cold, or beauty, and love, and sit in a cave and reinvent writing and maths, and discover another version of god. Everything is permissible, world is written and rewritten, reality is reared in the image of its authors and when it’s your turn to hold the shit end of the stick you’ll probably hate it and try to flip the script.