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python333 · 1 year ago

Note

im in love with your content omg😭 your writing style is just chefs kiss

can i req a reader with the tf141 being on a mission and hearing an enemy say something in british slang and they just go "what did they just say.." in comms? like a reader who doesnt know anything about slang like not even that bars in the uk r called pubs (if im not wrong) and just nods whenever a private talks in slang, and their brain is just trying to figure out what they just said?

its just a really silly plot with a silly reader :3

pardon? — python333

— — — —

synopsis just as the req says, you know nothing about british slang and on a mission the enemy speaks british and you dont know what theyre saying :3

relationships platonic!taskforce 141 & reader.

characters cap. price, soap, ghost, gaz.

word count 2.6k

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [code name/call sign].

note HI YES I LOVE THIS REQ!! i take every opportunity i can to make fun of british people so this is right up my alley!! tysm for the compliments hjfhdjskf recently ive been getting more praise on my works and it makes me so happy i love yall. again, sorry if this sounds a little rushed or if any parts are incoherent, i wrote this at 12/1am and im both more productive and write more nonsense at this time + this one is wayyyy shorter than ones i usually do because i didnt know what else to write for it so i apologize for that as well! this is pure fluff and humor (i like to think im funny) so enjoy!!

“—eah, and now we have to camp out here ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do it ‘imself, so I feel like we should have a chat with the others, see if they’re willing to leg it out of here with us,” An enemy soldier suggests to you, his British accent thick enough that you think it might be cockney.

You cross your arms to hide your shaking hands and nod in agreement, as if you understood anything he said, and put on the same shitty British accent you’d been using for the past five minutes you’d been talking to this guy.

“Yeah, yeah, totally,” You agree, clearing your throat before asking, “You know where the others are stationed?”

“You don’t?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at you suspiciously.

“Mate, all the orders I was given went in one ear and out the other,” You sigh, holding back a wince at your desperate attempt to sound more natural using British slang, “I just know I’ve got to stand out here and shoot the enemy.”

The enemy eyes you suspiciously and he takes a moment to try and read your face before he says, “I don’t think I’ve seen you before, actually. Which would be weird, if we’re in the same platoon, don’t you—”

You sigh and quickly pull out the small switchblade you had hanging on your belt, stabbing the enemy in the neck before he can say anything else and grabbing him before he can drop to the ground, putting a hand behind his back as you half lead half drag him into a dark alleyway beside the building he was stationed outside of.

You quickly set him down into a sitting position and take your knife out of his throat, tucking the blade back into the handle before adjusting it to latch onto your belt once again, letting out a frustrated huff as you stare at the now dead man in front of you.

“[c/n], how copy?” Price’s voice crackles through on your ear piece.

You push in the PTT button and lower your voice, “Copy, I fucked up a little bit. One of the guys was onto me.”

“You were there for five bloody minutes,” Gaz’s voice rings through, his tone both disbelieving and amused, “How’d he already catch onto you?”

“The British are smarter than I thought,” You breathe out, standing up and looking around for a ladder to climb to get to higher ground before anyone spots you. You go farther into the alley and find an old, rusty ladder with rungs that look like they’d snap if someone sneezed on them too hard—perfect for climbing up.

You wrinkle your nose as your hand makes contact with one of the rungs but don’t say anything otherwise, instead wordlessly hauling yourself up onto the ladder.

“Reminder that there’s three British people with you, currently,” Ghost’s deadpan tone crackles, his breathing heavy, as you can tell he’s whispering into his mic, “All of which are very smart.”

“I caught you reading the instructions on a box of tea bags the other day, don’t fuckin’ talk right now,” You grumble, slowly climbing up the ladder, hating the creaking noises it makes as you do. It sounds like it’s going to snap at any minute, and you try to go up as fast as you can, but one wrong move and you’ll easily slip, some of the rust that flakes off of the ladder enough to make you slip up.

“They were circles,” Ghost says, exasperated, “I didn’t know if that made a difference.”

“I thought British people were supposed to know everything about tea,” You roll your eyes, putting your hand on the next rusty rung up on the ladder.

“Yeah, L.t,” Soap agrees with you teasingly, the wind hitting his mic, making it obvious that he’s running, “Thought ye Brits were s’possed to ken everything ‘bout tea.”

You laugh quietly to yourself as you finally make it to the top of the building, the top just high enough for you to look at the few soldiers below and hear a majority of their conversations without them noticing you.

You get to the edge of the rooftop and pull the sniper rifle you’d been carrying around off of your back, glad to finally be back in your element rather than trying to get in undercover, and set it up.

You pull the stand out and set it on the edge of the roof, and look through the scope of the rifle, lining it up so that it’s aiming directly at one of the soldier’s heads, specifically the one that was standing directly out of the entrance you originally were meant to try and get into—but doing this didn’t change much.

Regardless of if you got in or not, he would’ve died, and the others would’ve gotten in too. You getting in first was just meant to make it more efficient.

You press down on the PTT button on your earpiece as you look through the scope of your sniper rifle, keeping the aim on the soldier in front of the entrance, “The guy in front of the entrance is just standing still, so whenever you need me to, I can shoot ‘im down.”

“I don’t think we need to get in just yet,” Price hums, “But maybe in a minute.” “M’kay,” You hum, taking your eye away from the scope, instead just looking over at the enemy soldiers. You lay on your stomach, leaning your head down a bit to try and listen in on the enemy’s conversations easier, trying your best not to make yourself too obvious.

The conversations were pretty boring and almost the same for every soldier you’d eavesdropped on, for the most part. Enemy soldiers joking around, talking about what they’ll do once they’re on leave—like they would be able to do that after you completed your assignment—and just some general team camaraderie.

The lackluster subjects of their conversations weren’t bad at all, no, in fact, you could care less what they talk about.

It was their stupid accents you hated.

Are you surrounded by British people everyday? Yes. Does that stop you from hating on the British everyday? No. Okay, maybe the accents aren’t stupid, but God, they had the thickest cockney accents you’d heard in your entire life, and it was making your eavesdropping so much harder, and had almost been the reason you were given away earlier.

They used slang words that you’re certain you’ve never heard before in your life, and used analogies that didn’t even make sense—you heard one of them use the words, verbatim, ‘Don’t get stroppy’. Stroppy? Stroppy?

You narrow your eyes down at the soldiers below you, listening to a conversation they’d just started up.

“—eah, ‘cause he can’t be arsed to do anything about it, so now we have to camp out here and wait for somethin’ to happen,” One of the soldiers scoffs, “I’m telling you, man, if I see that skull-masked bloke runnin’ ‘round out here, I’m legging it from ‘im immediately.”

You draw your eyebrows together in confusion, but you stay silent for now. Isn’t that exactly what the other soldier said? Are they like a hive mind or something?

“You’re legging it?” The other soldier asked, sounding almost incredulous, “What happened to you chattin’ to some of the others about your loyalty and what not?” “All that’s irrelevant when the fuckin’ grim reaper rolls around and starts murkin’ people like he’s been doing for the entirety we’ve been here, mate,” The first soldier laughs, “You think I wanna be here when he does that?”

“Don’t act like a prat about it, man—fuckin’ talking’ like you can outrun him.” “A prat? I’m not—” You tune out the rest of their argument and instead try and figure out what they were saying.

A prat? Legging it? Can’t be arsed? What the fuck? You push the PTT button on your earpiece and as quietly as you can, you ask, “I need some help. Serious help. Life or death situation.” Immediately, Price’s voice rings through, “What? What is it? What happened?” “The soldiers are British and I can’t tell what they’re saying,” You answer, ignoring Price’s relieved sigh on his end, “I need help.” “Jesus, fuck, don’t scare me like that,” Price sighs, taking a few breaths before continuing, “Alright, what do you need help with?”

“Figuring out what they’re saying.” This time, you hear Gaz’s voice crackle through, “Well, you’ve got three British people here—tell us what he’s saying.”

“One of the guys was talking about ‘legging it’ if he saw Ghost heading towards him, and talked about Ghost ‘murking’ people, and then the other guy he was talking to told him he was being a ‘prat’ about it and he got all offended,” You eloquently say into the earpiece, watching as the argument gets a little more heated. You can hear an amused huff from Ghost on his end and a scoff from Soap in return.

“They’re just saying they’re gonna run away if they see Ghost because he’s been killing a lot of their soldiers, and the other guy said he was being a prat, which I guess is like…” Gaz pauses to think of how to explain the slang term before settling on, “Someone who’s kind of full of themselves, I guess. Or ignorant. Either or.”

“They couldn’t just say that?” You muse quietly, still staring down at the enemy soldiers.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that,” Price’s voice cuts through, “Go ahead and shoot the guy down. I’m ready to head in.”

“Got it,” You hum, quickly putting your eye back up to your scope and readjusting it a bit before quietly warning, “Shooting him now.”

You pull the trigger and the enemy goes down immediately, and through your scope you can see the small twitching of his body as the other soldier starts to freak out.

You quickly aim the gun at his still-alive friend and shoot him down as well, silently congratulating yourself on your good aim and continuing to look through the scope, watching as Price runs in with Gaz and a few other soldiers.

They struggle with the door for a moment and you sigh before pressing in the PTT button on your earpiece and quietly saying, “Price, Gaz, move away from the door for a sec.”

Wordlessly, they do as they’re told, and you take the opportunity to line up the gun’s aim with the complex electronic panel on the outside of the door and pull the trigger, shooting the most crucial part of the panel, causing it’s functions to disrupt and as a result, the doors open.

“Thanks for that,” Gaz breathes out as Price kicks open the door, his voice cut off a bit at the end as he takes his hand off the PTT button too quickly in order to follow after Price.

“Uh huh. Of course,” You say offhandedly, taking your eye away from the scope of your sniper rifle and listening to the loud sirens go off in the facility the others break into, and push yourself up so that you can sit up straight to properly watch it. You grunt as you sit up, stretching your arms out for a moment before letting them fall into your lap.

“Are they in?” Soap asks, curious, his voice a little strained and breathy. There’s no loud gusts of wind coming through his mic anymore, and you look around for a moment, before your eyes catch on to him climbing up a ladder to get to the rooftop adjacent to yours.

Your lips twitch into a smile at the sight of him completely clueless to your presence and you press your PTT button to talk.

“Yeah, they’re in,” You say, watching as he finally gets to the rooftop, “Didn’t you hear the sirens?”

You can see Soap’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion for a moment, and he looks around for a moment before finally seeing you on the rooftop directly next to his, and he looks surprised for a moment before a grin splits across his face. You see him press the PTT button on his mic as well.

“I did, yeah, just wanted tae be sure,” He says into his mic, looking right at you as he does, “It’s a surprise seeing you here.”

“Imagine how I feel,” You muse, almost to yourself, before looking away from Soap and speaking up, “Ghost, you don’t wanna join us on the rooftops?”

“Absolutely not,” He replies almost immediately, making you huff out a small laugh and Soap’s grin grow, “I’m perfectly fine on the ground.”

“Where are you?” You ask, scanning the area around you for Ghost, “I feel like I haven’t seen you this whole time.”

“I’m just behind the facility,” Ghost hums, voice still a low whisper, “I’m gonna be heading in once Gaz and Price make it to the second floor to clean up the first, in case there’s anyone left.”

“You’ve been behind the facility this whole time?” Soap’s voice cuts through, surprised by the fact.

“Mhm,” Ghost hums.

“It’s a bit boring back there, innit?” Gaz’s voice crackles through, his voice a little breathy, “You can sweep the first floor, by the way. Should be nobody left, though. Pretty sure all the soldiers were just faffing around, not doing much.”

“Fucking faffing around?” You ask incredulously to yourself, though apparently your voice is loud enough to make Soap chuckle.

As if he can read your mind, Price’s voice comes through, “Faffing around is just doing nothing or doing nothing particularly productive, [c/n].”

You sigh and push your PTT button this time, talking into your mic, “You couldn’t just say that, Gaz? You had to say something silly like faffing around?”

“It’s not silly,” Gaz says, his frown audible, “They were faffing around.”

“Jesus, fuck,” You breathe out, laughing lightly, “It’s totally silly.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Yeah it is.”

“No it’s—”

“I just want one day where you two don’t start up stupid arguments like this,” Price’s tired sigh comes through, “Just one day, I beg of you both.”

“Aw, Captain, we were just faffing around,” You whine playfully, the misuse of the slang making Soap cover his mouth with his hand to muffle his laughter and you hear Ghost groan into his mic.

“That is absolutely not how you use that,” Gaz says, though you can hear some laughter in his voice—from your very non-British accent saying British phrases, you presume, a small grin gracing your lips at the thought.

“It sounded natural to me,” You lie straight through your teeth, shrugging even though only Soap can see you.

“You’re insufferable,” Gaz groans, making you laugh quietly, “Never use British slang again, please.”

“What if I get a British accent? Will that fix it?”

“Nothing can fix what you’ve said today, [c/n].”

“Well that’s dramatic,” You scoff, “I’ll learn British just for you guys.”

“Holy shit, please stop talking,” Price’s exasperated voice interrupts the both of you, “You’re both insufferable. Drop it.”

“… I don’t think I will,” You say defiantly, making all three British people in the same voice channel as you groan in unison, the sound sounding like some sort of middle school choir trying to sing in harmony, “I’ll use Duolingo or something to learn it.”

“British isn’t a language you learn, you muppet,” Price grumbles, making you snort.

“Muppet?”

“It’s someone who’s dumb and clueless and can’t take a hint, like you,” Ghost defines, “And Soap, most of the time.”

“Daen’t go draggin’ mae into this,” Soap’s voice quickly cuts through, “I haven’t said onything.”

“Uh, yes you absolutely did, earlier, remember?” Gaz argues, ignoring Price’s protests for him to stop arguing, “About Ghost being stupid with the tea thing?”

“Oh, I’ll have you all know—”

“Ghost, don’t start—”

You listen as the once casual, teasing conversation turns into an argument and chuckle quietly to yourself, knowing that they’d be arguing about this until you all finished your assignment.

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lxvemaze · 1 month ago

Text

⫸ you know i love you

synopsis. when your best friend needs to show his parents that he's settled down enough for them to offer him a job in their company, he asks for your help- in the form of a fake engagement.

pairing. nonidol!/ceo's son!cha eunwoo x reader

genre. ceo's son au, childhood friends to lovers, fake relationship

wc. 10k!! (longest fic i've ever published, bear with me.)

warnings. some mild sexual references, some hurt lots of comfort, dongmin is silly, is jinwoo a wingman or a shit starter? we'll never know

a/n. this idea popped into my mind and i just loved it so much, i had to write it. happy holidays, ya'll!

January 15th

“There is no way in hell you’re actually that stupid.”

“I’m not stupid! You’re just not hearing me out!” Dongmin called out from the small couch in the living room of your sixth-floor studio apartment as you leaned against the counter in the kitchen, waiting for the water for your tea to boil.

You and Dongmin have been friends for over twenty years now. His father was the CEO of a huge company, his mother was the CFO of the same company, and your mother was their housekeeper. She was also basically Dongmin’s nanny, tutor, and personal chef. Starting from the age of six years old, your mother worked out a deal with Dongmin’s parents so that every day after school, their personal driver would pick Dongmin up from his fancy private school, then drive to your significantly less fancy public school, and then drive the two of you back to Dongmin’s house, where the two of you would hang out and do your homework while your mother took care of things around the house until Dongmin’s parents came home.

This routine lasted until the two of you graduated high school. Over the years, the two of you had become close as could be, even hanging out on the weekends. There was never room for any doubt in your friendship; even though Dongmin had gone to Oxford University in the UK, which was arguably the most extra school he’d gotten accepted into (you had begged him to go to Columbia University so you could visit New York), you stayed home and worked in your father’s little corner store. But even so, Dongmin traveled home for every long weekend, every holiday, and every vacation he had. And he spent all the time he was home with you.

You’d done a lot of dumb things to get each other out of a lot of sticky situations in the past, but what he was suggesting now was a new low.

“Well, I don’t really think getting married is the best course of action.” You mused as you poured the hot water into the two waiting mismatched coffee mugs.

“You’re not listening!” Dongmin exclaimed as he hopped over the back of the couch and strolled into the kitchen, leaning on the counter as he watched you steep the tea.

“Then explain to me how this is a good idea.”

“Because. I’m pushing thirty now-”

“You’re twenty seven.”

“Pushing thirty. And my folks want to retire soon, and my dad wants me to take his place, which is like, what I’ve been shooting for since I was a kid. But my mom is pushing back because she thinks I’m not mature enough. She says that she won’t even think about letting me join the company until I’ve shown that I’ve settled down.”

“You go to the club literally every weekend. I think I might be on your mom’s side on this one.” You handed Dongmin his mug of tea and strolled into the living room, settling down on the couch, and picking up the remote to browse for a movie to watch.

“Yeah, but if I stop going to the club for a while and make it look like I'm in a serious relationship, then my mom will see how mature I’ve gotten, and let me join the company!” Dongmin gleefully relayed his plan to you as he stole the blanket from your lap and wrapped it around himself, curling into the other corner of the couch.

“And you think that us getting married is your best bet?”

“Not married! Fake engaged. There’s a difference.”

“Let me reiterate; you really think getting fake engaged to me is the best idea?”

Dongmin turned to you, confusion written all over his face, “yeah? You’re like, my best friend.”

“Well, duh. I just think your mom would prefer it if you got engaged to like, another rich girl.”

Dongmin rolled his eyes and snatched the remote out of your hand, scrolling for a moment before pressing play on a random nature documentary. “I think my mom would see it as a win either way. She’s been on my ass to get into a serious relationship since I started university. Which is totally unfair, by the way! Jinwoo hasn’t had a date since middle school, and he’s already on track to be the COO at his dad’s company. And Myungjun’s had like, twelve relationships in the past year and a half, and his startup is already turning a massive profit.”

“Rich people problems.” You sighed, watching as a lion on TV devoured a gazelle.

“Yeah, it is. But I never ask you for anything. I think you owe me. And I can’t keep working at Minhyuk’s parents company forever. It’s getting kind of embarrassing.”

You remembered all the times that Dongmin paid to have you flown out to England, paid for you to stay in fancy hotels, car service, room service, treated you to extravagant meals, the tens of thousands of dollars worth of birthday and Christmas presents he’d bought you over the years. And you realize, he’s right. You do owe him.

“Okay…We need a plan.”

Dongmin practically jumped out of his seat at your sudden agreement. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” You sighed, reaching over to grab the remote, turning the TV down. “But we’re gonna need it to be airtight if we want this to be believable.”

“You’re the smart one. Just tell me what you need me to do, and I’ll do it.”

As you looked at Dongmin’s gleeful face, you almost regretted agreeing to his scheme. Dongmin saw the crease between your brows, and reached over to poke your shoulder.

“Hey, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I know it’s kind of a lot.”

You brushed him off with a shrug of your shoulder. “No, you’re right. I owe you. This is honestly the least I could do.”

“Then let’s do this.” He grinned, holding up his pinkie finger in front of you. You playfully rolled your eyes with a scoff before linking your pinkie in his.

“Let’s do it.”

January 18th

“No, that one’s not big enough.”

You sighed as Dongmin rejected yet another one of your suggestions. “I’m the one who has to wear it, why do you have such a strong opinion?”

“Because I’m the one buying it!”

You and Dongmin were currently at a swanky jewelry shop searching for the perfect engagement ring. At seven in the morning. On a Thursday. Neither of you were in a particularly good mood.

“Shouldn’t you want a smaller ring, then?” You questioned his logic, looking up at him with a cocked brow.

“Hey, only the best for my future wifey-poo.” Dongmin made a kissy face at you, causing you to audibly groan in disgust, pushing his face away. You ignored his giggles as you felt your phone buzz. You saw the most recent text was from your father, asking you to come into work early to help him open his corner store.

“Okay. Well, I have to go to work.”

“Nooooo! You can’t make me do this by myself! The dinner’s next weekend and we won’t have time to meet up again before then.” He protested, grabbing your arm and bouncing on the balls of his feet like a spoiled child- which he was.

“I would say I trust you, but I don’t. You know my ring size, I don’t want anything big, I don’t want anything gold, do not get me anything square cut, and for the love of God, please just ask the lady at the counter for help instead of just buying me the first thing you see that you don’t hate.” You patted his shoulder and made your way out the shop, waving a goodbye to him over your shoulder. You could see Dongmin’s downtrodden expression in the reflection on the glass door as you left. You just hoped he would get you something understated. You would be having to wear it every day for the foreseeable future.

You and Dongmin had spent nearly three hours the other night working out your plan.

Dongmin had invited his parents over for dinner at his swanky penthouse next Saturday night. He’d hired a fancy chef to make the dinner, and a decorator to make his apartment look not so “twenty seven year old single man-child”. After the main course and right before dessert, he would stand from his chair and announce that he had something important to say. Then, he would turn to you, get on one knee, and propose with whatever hopefully not-ugly ring he’d chosen today. To which his parents would hopefully be overjoyed and proud, and after at most a few months, they’d realize how mature he’d gotten since getting engaged, and give him the job in their company.

You weren’t sure it would work, you weren’t sure how long it would take, but you were determined to go through with it. After all the amazing opportunities and experiences that Dongmin had given you over the years, you figured that the least you could do was pretend to be his fiancee for a few months.

January 27th

Today was the day he would propose. You’ve never been this stressed in your entire life. A package had been delivered to your door with a note from Dongmin inside, “Blue has always been your color.” You had been staring at the dress in the box for the past ten minutes, trying to not think about how many thousands of dollars he’d spent on it. He was right, though. He’d taken you to Japan for spring break a few years ago and the two of you’d gotten a color palette analysis done. You’d have assumed he’d forgotten all about it, but the beautiful navy dress on your bed proved otherwise.

You looked at the time on your phone, the numbers 4:27 glared up at you, eliciting a sigh from your mouth. The weight of your actions was starting to weigh down on your shoulders. Why did you have to agree to this? It’s not like you didn’t like Dongmin’s family- they were fine! From the limited interactions you’d had with them over the years and from what Dongmin’s told you about them, they were perfectly nice people. But it was only natural for you to be a little bit intimidated by them. They were wealthy, powerful people, and you were about to get “engaged” to their son.

You got ready slowly, almost unconsciously dragging out the process as long as you could. Your phone rang right as you were slipping on the sleek black pumps Dongmin had bought for you last summer while he was vacationing in Paris.

“Yes?” You picked up the phone, looking at yourself in the mirror one last time before meeting your doom. You looked good. Hopefully good enough.

“I’m waiting in the car. Are you ready?” Dongmin’s pixelated voice rang out through the phone. You grabbed your purse, put on your coat, took a deep breath, and walked out your door.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Without another word, Dongmin hung up the call. You scoffed and dumped your phone in your bag. You silently thanked whatever invisible force was on your side that day, as the elevator in your building that had been broken for the past two months had finally gotten fixed. You were not looking forward to walking down six flights of stairs in those heels.

As soon as you walked outside your building, you spotted Dongmin’s fancy black car. You couldn’t see him through the tinted windows, but you knew it was him when his driver stepped outside and walked around the car to open the back door for you. You slid into the backseat where Dongmin was playing a game on his phone. He looked up at you briefly, mumbling a “Hey”, and going back to staring at the screen.

You rolled your eyes at your iPad kid of a best friend and rested your head on the window as the car drove through the busy city streets.

Twenty minutes later, you pulled up to Dongmin’s penthouse. No matter how many times you’d been there, you would always be in awe at the massive building.

“You okay?” You turned to look at Dongmin as he spoke, meeting his eyes, seeing the concerned look on his face, you put on a smile, and lightly punched his shoulder as his driver opened the door.

“Of course. Not like I’m about to pretend to get engaged to my best friend in front of his family or anything.”

Dongmin didn’t look convinced as he took your hand in his before you had the chance to leave the car. “You know, it’s not too late to back out.”

His words didn’t do anything to quell the uncertainty in your stomach. But still, you put on a brave face and playfully rolled your eyes. “As if anyone else would be willing to get engaged to you.”

Your words seemed to sate Dongmin’s concern as he rolled his eyes in turn and shoved your arm, prompting you to step out of the car. You looked up at the tall building in front of you and took a shaky breath. It’s not like it was real. You didn’t actually have to get married to him or anything. It was all temporary.

“They’ll be here any minute. We should go up.” Dongmin’s warm breath on your ear caused you to jump, prompting him to flash you a confused look. You shook your head and followed him into the building, mentally hyping yourself up for the night that was to come.

“You look beautiful, darling.”

Dongmin’s parents had arrived ten minutes after you had, and you had been internally screaming the entire time since then. You were sat next to Dongmin at the table in his huge dining room with his mother sitting directly across from you.

“Ah, thank you so much. You know, Dongmin bought pretty much my entire outfit.” You replied, doing your best to keep your shaky hands still as you cut through your expensive steak. You could see Dongmin trying to hold in his laughter in the corner of your eye. Clearly seeing you in intense mental turmoil was funny to him.

“Oh, our Dongmin has always been such a thoughtful boy.”

Thoughtful. Hilarious.

“Yeah, he’s great.”

“So, dear, are you still working at your fathers shop?”

You took a sip of wine and wiped your fingers on your napkin. “Yeah, I am. But I’m planning on applying to some jobs in corporate. Even if just working in the mail room or reception.”

“Oh! Well, I’m sure we could find you a job somewhere in our company. I’m sure I know someone that could use a secretary or assistant.” Dongmin’s father spoke up, causing Dongmin to choke on his wine. You lightly patted his back as he coughed into his elbow, offering a tight-lipped smile to his confused parents.

“That’s very kind, but you really don’t have to do that.” You spoke over Dongmin’s coughing.

“We’d love to have you in our company, really. You and your parents are practically family.”

Dongmin took a deep breath as his coughing fit came to an end. “Are you guys for real?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t we be?”

Dongmin stayed quiet for the rest of the main course, leaving you alone to continue awkwardly conversing with his parents, and ignoring every kick under the table that you gave him.

“So Dongmin, why did you set up this dinner, anyway?” Dongmin’s mother asked, leaning back in her chair as dessert was being made.

“Well…” Dongmin started. ‘Here we go’ you thought as your leg started shaking. “You know that the two of us have been friends for a long time.” He continued, taking your hand in his, looking at you with what anyone on the outside would see as fondness, but you knew from the look in his eyes that he was struggling to not burst out laughing.

“I hope this doesn’t come as a shock to you two, but we’re ready to take the next step…” Dongmin rose from his seat and pushed it to the side, immediately dropping to one knee in front of you. He softly spoke your name as he looked up at you. You could tell he was about to lose it.

You heard his mother gasp from the other side of the table as he continued, “You’ve been by my side for as long as I can remember. You’ve been my best friend, my partner in crime, and my biggest supporter. We’ve been through every step of our lives together. But I want to go through the next part of our lives…With you as my wife.”

If you didn’t know any better, you would have thought that his speech was very sweet. But you did know better. And now you were the one struggling to hold in your laughter.

Dongmin reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box, “Will you marry me?” He opened the box and your jaw hit the ground. He did good. He did really good. The ring was exactly what you wanted. It was a small round cut diamond surrounded by smaller gems on a beautiful silver band.

You ecstatically nodded your head, holding out your hand for Dongmin to slip the ring onto your finger. The two of you stood up and hugged each other tightly. “I asked the lady at the counter.” He whispered in your ear. You giggled into his shoulder before his mother spoke up.

“Well, it’s about time!”

The smiles immediately dropped off of your faces.

…What?

The two of you pulled away from each other, slowly turning to look at his parents as they beamed at the two of you from across the table.

“The two of you have been attached at the hip since you were kids. It was only a matter of time.” His father agreed, holding his wife’s hand as the two of them looked up at you with an endearing gaze.

“...Huh?”

February 11th

“Oh yeah, my mom is throwing a valentine’s day party and she wants to know if you’re gonna be there.”

Dongmin was in your kitchen drying and putting away dishes as you washed them.

“Why would I be there?”

“...Because we’re engaged?”

“Oh, yeah.”

You hadn’t actually forgotten. You couldn’t now that your parents knew. As soon as your mother had shown up to work the day after the dinner, Dongmin’s mom was immediately gushing about the engagement that you had forgotten to let your mom in on. Your mom immediately called your dad to tell him about it, and then he immediately called you.

You couldn’t just tell them that it was a lie- they were just so happy about it, you didn’t have the heart to break it to them.

“I can’t just show up to my parents' valentine's party without my fiancée.” Dongmin whined as he put away your ancient cast-iron frying pan. You rolled your eyes behind his back.

“You don’t have to show up at all, actually.”

“Let’s be real for a second. There is no way that my mother will let me get out of going to one of her parties, and I really don’t want to go by myself.” Dongmin gave you his best puppy dog eyes, which caused you to physically hold yourself back from laughing in his face.

“Pleeeeease. I’ll buy you a new outfit for it. I swear to God, you’ll be the prettiest girl there. I’ll have to be constantly throwing hands to keep those gross corporate men’s hands off my gorgeous fiancée.”

“Whatever. I’ll go. You don’t have to buy me a new outfit.” You relented, drying off your hands before opening the fridge to grab a soda.

“You aren’t wearing your ring.”

You looked down at your left hand before looking back up at Dongmin, “Yeah. Our parents aren’t around, why would I?”

You didn’t see Dongmin’s pout as you flopped onto the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you settled into the squishy furniture.

“Okay, but I spent a lot of money on that rock. Also, didn’t you say it put off that creepy guy who works at the coffee shop?” Dongmin hopped over the back of the couch to sit right next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder.

“Well, yeah. I wear it in public. But why would I wear it when I’m in the comfort of my own home?” You moved his arm from your shoulder, opting to ignore the disappointed sigh that came from your best friend.

“I’ll take you shopping for the party tomorrow. Get you a cute dress and shoes or whatever.”

“You don’t have to spend money on me, Dongmin.”

“I don’t care. I want to.”

You glanced at Dongmin to see him pouting with his hands in his lap, watching silently as you scrolled through Netflix instead of snatching the remote from your hands and picking a show like he usually would. You sighed and laid your head on his shoulder, feeling his breath stop for a second before he rested his head on top of your own.

Dongmin is your best friend. He’s helped you so much in so many ways, and you genuinely would do anything for him, and you think he’d do the same for you. Ever since you agreed to get fake engaged to him, there was a thought in the back of your mind; “What if this ruins our friendship?” You pushed it aside at first, brushing it off as a stupid anxiety-induced worry. But every day since then, the thought has only grown more and more prominent.

“I’m free after two.”

You could feel the smile in Dongmin’s cheeks and he wrapped his arm around you, holding you close as you finally settled on a movie.

God, you hoped you were wrong.

February 14th

“Keep your eyes closed!”

“They are closed.”

“You better not be peeping.”

“This may come as a shock to you, but I actually really do not want to see you naked!”

You were in Dongmin’s bedroom getting ready for his parents' valentine's day party. You’d have gotten ready at your own apartment, but Dongmin had called you over to help him decide on what to wear, so you decided to just bring your clothes with you and get ready there. Which was probably a good idea, because unlike your apartment, Dongmin’s penthouse actually had a full-length mirror and good lighting.

Dongmin had taken you shopping the day before, and despite your protesting, bought you an inordinately expensive, albeit beautiful, blush-pink dress, and a pair of white pumps. They were beautiful, and although you appreciated Dongmin being so willing to spend money on you, you hated knowing the actual number that he was spending.

“Okay, you can look now.”

You waited patiently for Dongmin’s response after he opened his eyes, but he just looked at you with a blank stare. You looked down at yourself, thinking you might have forgotten to zip a zipper, or your dress had gotten stuck somewhere.

“What?”

“No. Nothing. It looks good.” Dongmin cleared his throat and pulled his phone out of his pocket, quickly typing something before standing up and leaving the room. “You coming?” He called over his shoulder.

“...Okay…” You said under your breath, grabbing your phone from his vanity and following him out of the room. You felt Dongmin’s eyes on you as you put on your coat, looking up at him with a raised brow, he quickly turned away and busied himself with tying his shoes.

“Okay, let’s go.” Dongmin quickly hurried out the door, leaving you behind in a confused state. You shook your head before turning out the lights, setting the alarm system, and locking the door behind you.

You knew you were in for a long night.

“Well, aren’t you two just a beautiful couple!” Dongmin’s mother called the two of you out immediately as you walked through the doors to their impressive home. You were no stranger to the glamour and wealth of the Lee’s life, but it still threw you off to see so many beautiful, wealthy people all in one place.

“Thank you, Mrs. Lee.” She greeted you with a kiss on the cheek, and her son with a tight embrace. You looked around the room to see some vaguely familiar faces; you recognized Park Jinwoo’s parents conversing with Dongmin’s father, someone by the drinks table who you were pretty sure was named Yoon Sanha, and the three of Dongmin’s friends that you were actually on a first-name basis with, Bin, Myungjun, and Minhyuk, greeted the two of you with a wave from the other side of the room.

“Well, you two have fun! We have food, drinks, desserts, whatever you like!”

“Thanks, mom.” Dongmin took your hand and led you over to his friends, meanwhile, the sudden realization that you hadn’t seen any of these people since long before your fake engagement hit you like a ton of bricks. You could see them smirking at the two of you as you neared. Dongmin felt the shift in your demeanor and he turned to look at you, your face had paled as if all the blood had drained from your face.

“Just be chill.” He whispered to you as you neared the small group. You gave him a small nod, and quickly plastered a smile back onto your face.

“Hey guys how’s it-” Dongmin was cut off by Myungjun grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a shake.

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell us that the two of you were even dating! And now you’re engaged!”

“Yeah, man. How could you not tell us?” Minhyuk added on as Bin shook his head in disappointment at the two of you.

“Believe me, it was a surprise for us, too.” You joked as Myungjun turned to you and wrapped his arms around you in a back-breaking hug.

“Well, I’m happy for you two. I think we were just all surprised it took you two this long.” Bin smiled at the two of you as he took a sip of his champagne. You and Dongmin briefly made eye contact before awkwardly smiling at the group.

“Yeah, that’s what everyone’s been saying.” Dongmin slipped his hand back into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. You gave him a small smile, trying to give off the best “head-over-heels in love” vibe that you could. You weren’t sure how convincing you were being, but Dongmin always was a good actor. He’d make it work.

At some point in the party, you’d ended up at the drinks table, a champagne flute in your hand as you leaned against the wall, trying to recharge from being bombarded with questions and congratulations from people you’d never met. You weren’t sure where Dongmin had ended up- the last you saw, he’d been taken aside by Minhyuk’s father to talk about some business stuff that you didn’t understand nor particularly care about.

You were content with standing in the corner people-watching before someone you hadn’t spoken to for years sidled up to you.

“Well, don’t you look nice?”

You froze in place when you heard the voice of Park Jinwoo addressing you. You slowly turned your head in his direction. Shit. He looked really good. You’d had a little bit of a crush- no, you’d had a massive crush on him while you were in highschool. He was one of Dongmin’s closest friends back in the day, but you’d only seen him a few times since he’d gotten back from university. You thought he was really cute back then, but he’d really grown into his looks. He’d gotten a little bit taller (at least, he was a little bit taller than you, now), he’d gotten a nice haircut, you could tell he’s been hitting the gym, and from your many late nights staying up late stalking his Instagram, you knew that he’d gotten a few tattoos. And he’s single.

“Oh…Hey, Jinwoo. Nice to see you again.”

“No need to be so formal. We’ve known each other a long time.” Jinwoo stood next to you and leaned on the wall, mirroring your stance. “Congrats on the engagement by the way. Didn’t see that one coming.”

“Really?” You scoffed, taking a sip of champagne, “seems like you’re the only one who didn’t.”

“Yeah, well, I was under the impression that you were into someone else until now.”

His statement caused you to choke on your champagne. You cleared your throat and shook your head. Jinwoo stayed silent, simply smirking at you as he took a sip of wine. “Well, I guess you were wrong.”

“Guess so. It’s funny, I was so sure I was right. I mean, it’s not every day someone you haven’t spoken to in years likes one of your four-year-old Instagram posts at three in the morning.”

You were about to refute his accusation before you were cut off by a very welcome interruption. “You two enjoying yourselves?” Dongmin approached the two of you, a glass of champagne in hand, and an indecipherable look on his face. He stood right beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist, staring directly at Jinwoo.

“Just fine.” Jinwoo replied with the same smirk as before, taking a sip of wine as he eyed Dongmin. “You two look good together.”

“Yeah. We do.”

The vibe of the room had massively shifted since Dongmin had approached you two. His hand had moved down from your waist to your hip, and he was holding you tighter than ever. Your eyes darted between Jinwoo and Dongmin, waiting for one of them to say something, but they both remained quiet, their eye contact unwavering.

“Well, I’m happy for you two. See you at the wedding.” Jinwoo gave you a quick wink before flashing Dongmin a smirk and walking off into the crowd. You looked up at Dongmin who still had that look on his face. You’d never seen that look before.

“Let’s go.” He said, grabbing your hand and walking in the direction of the front door.

“Go where?”

“Home.”

“Whose home?”

“Mine.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to be here.”

“Okay…But maybe we should say goodbye to your parents and friends first?”

Dongmin paused in his tracks, you could see him roll his eyes before nodding in agreement. He dragged you around the house to bid quick goodbyes to his family and friends before he walked the two of you to the foyer, helping you with your coat, and dragging you into his car. He’d driven the two of you there himself, and you were honestly worried that in his current mood, the night was going to end up with the two of you crashing into a tree.

You stayed silent for the first few minutes of the trip, your hands folded in your lap. You’d rarely seen Dongmin so irritated- his hands were tightly gripping the steering feel, and you could practically hear his jaw clenching. You felt like a scolded child the way you were so hesitant to say anything to him.

“Are you okay?”

Dongmin sighed heavily. Glancing over at you, his demeanor melting as he saw you staring at him with that concerned look on your face. His grip on the steering wheel relaxed, and he reached over to hold your left hand in his own, his thumb lightly brushing over your ring finger.

“I’m okay. Just tired, I guess.”

The two of you stayed silent for the rest of the drive to Dongmin’s penthouse. The car was filled with a tense air, even as Dongmin gently held your hand, you couldn’t help but feel you’d done something wrong.

The two of you made your way up to Dongmin’s apartment, turning off the alarm and kicking your shoes off as soon as you were in the door. Without a word, Dongmin went straight to his bedroom, leaving you sighing as you made your way to the guest room. Usually your apartment was the designated hangout spot, Dongmin always said it was more “cozy”, but you’d still stayed over at Dongmin’s enough for you to have a drawer of clothes in his guest room and a toothbrush in the bathroom.

You had been laying in bed for at least an hour at that point. You’d tried to sleep, you really had, but you couldn’t stop thinking about what you could have possibly said to make Dongmin act the way he did. So you resorted to scrolling on your phone to calm your mind, before you heard a light knock on the bedroom door.

You padded over to it, cracking it open to see Dongmin on the other side, nervously shifting his weight between his feet.

“Hey…” He whispered, leaning on the doorway as he looked around the room, doing all he could to not make direct eye contact with you. “I…I guess I wanted to apologize for being a total dickhead tonight.”

“Yeah…You kinda were.”

He smiled at the ground, his eyes still not meeting yours. “Well, I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know. I don’t really have an excuse.”

His eyes finally met yours.

“Are we cool?”

You let out a short laugh and rolled your eyes, poking his arm before responding, “we were always cool.”

He smiled fondly down at you, reaching his arms out, prompting you to lean into him and wrap your arms around his waist, your head comfortably resting on his chest. The two of you stood silently for a minute, his head resting on top of yours. Before pulling away, he gave you a quick peck on top of your head, flashing you a quick smile before taking a step back.

“Goodnight, fiancée.”

“Goodnight, fiance.”

You were friends. Best friends. You always would be. But you were starting to like hearing him call you that.

June 20th

You thought it would be over by now. You thought it would’ve been a few months, a couple family dinners, maybe a fancy corporate party or two, Dongmin’s parents would give him a job in the company, and you could call off your engagement and go back to your normal lives. And yet here you were, six months later. Still engaged- fake engaged. Every time you got together with Dongmin’s family, he’d whisper to you, “I’m sure they’re gonna give the news tonight.” and yet, they never did. And both of your families and all of your friends were still convinced that the two of you were a happy soon-to-be-wed couple. His parents had even spent Easter at your family’s house. It was starting to feel too real.

And now here you were, sitting in a private plane, getting ready to embark on an all expenses paid two week long vacation to Lake Como- where the Lee family apparently owned a large plot of property. Because of course they did. You hadn’t ever realized exactly how wealthy Dongmin’s family was until you’d gotten engaged to him, and you felt more insecure in your own life by the day because of it.

“You want some more champagne?” At the question, you removed one of your earbuds and looked up from the book in your lap to Dongmin, who was sitting across from you, headphones on with his iPad resting on top of the table between the two of you. You shook your head wordlessly, putting the earbud back in place and returning to the book that you honestly couldn’t have relayed the plot of even with a gun to your head.

Planes are so boring.

Dongmin smirked up at you as if he could tell what was on your mind. “Told you you should have brought your laptop.”

“Shut up.” You muttered, flipping to the next page as if you were actually reading. “Why would I want to bring my laptop when I’m going to Italy? I don’t know about you, but I’m intending to actually enjoy myself while we’re there.”

“I don’t think Dongmin could enjoy himself without bringing his iPad.” His younger brother piped up from the seat across the aisle.

“You’re literally playing Roblox right now.” Dongmin rolled his eyes as he removed his headphones.

“You cannot stop me from grinding on Dress To Impress.”

“You’re like, twenty five.”

“Yeah, and I’m absolutely eating these little kids up.”

“That’s a disturbing sentence.”

“You’re making it weird.”

“Back me up here.” Dongmin addressed you, taking his headphones off and tossing them to the side.

You stuck your tongue out at him before tossing your book in the same direction as his headphones- you’d finally given up on trying to read.

“You’re the worst.” Dongmin sighed.

“You like it.”

“I don’t get you two.”

The two of you quickly turned to Dongmin’s brother, who was still staring at his computer screen, undoubtedly still beefing with middle schoolers on Roblox.

“What do you mean?” Your voice cracked slightly as you asked the question. You could see Dongmin grimacing at it from across the table.

“I mean, you two have been together for like, years at this point. But I’ve never even seen you two kiss.”

“Years-? I mean, yeah. But what’s your point?” Dongmin stumbled over his words, crossing both his legs and arms in a painfully conspicuous fashion.

“I don’t know, it’s just weird. Are you two on some like, hardcore, celibate, not even kissing until you get married shit? I find that hard to believe since you’re like, always at each other's apartments- also like, why don’t you two just move in together? I’ve been to both of your guys’ places, and Dongmin’s is like, way nicer. I don’t know, you guys just aren’t like, a normal couple.”

You were in shock at how hard Dongmin’s brother clocked you. You hadn’t thought of any of that. Why the hell wouldn’t you two have kissed? Normal engaged people kiss. The two of you had never even had your mouths anywhere near each other.

“I’m sorry I haven’t ever made out with my fiancée in front of my little brother. That’s not something I’m into.” Dongmin mused as he picked up his headphones from the floor of the plane, placing them back over his head and resuming his show. You let out a silent sigh of relief at his smooth recovery.

This was going to become a problem.

June 25th

You hadn't realized that mega yachts were a real thing until this morning when you and the Lee’s packed into the fancy black car that picked you up at their summer home and brought you to the lake, where you were met with the largest boat you’d ever laid eyes on.

After being “confronted” about your strange relationship by Dongmin’s brother on the plane, that same night, you and Dongmin stayed up late in your shared room discussing ways to make your relationship seem more natural.

“Well, we can’t just like, make out in front of your family.” You mused from your side of the ginormous bed in the room that had been assigned to you and Dongmin.

“Normal people don’t make out with each other in front of their families, I don’t think.” He agreed from his side of the bed, “But maybe, we could just like, I don’t know, maybe give each other a little peck on the cheek once in a while. Or call each other stupid pet names like ‘babe’ or ‘sweet cheeks’.”

“If you call me sweet cheeks, I will kill you.”

“No sweet cheeks, then.” Dongmin tossed his phone across the bed and turned to look at you, propping himself up on his elbow. You turned to him with a raised brow, tossing your phone in the same direction.

“What?”

“This is fun.” He smiled up at you, twirling a loose string on the blanket around his finger.

“Is it really?”

“Yeah.” He whispered before turning his back to you and flicking the “off” switch on the lamp on his bedside table. You settled into your pillows and breathed out a heavy sigh. You were having much less fun with this than Dongmin was.

You were currently laying down in a lounge chair on the bow of the yacht in your swimsuit, pretending to watch Dongmin as he repeatedly jumped off the side of the boat and clambered back up, asking you each time to rate his jump and the following splash. Dongmin’s brother was in the chair beside you, arm over his eyes, probably taking a nap. You were going to have to wake him up soon to tell him to reapply his sunscreen.

“Babe, watch this!” Dongmin called out to you, prompting you to look over to him, your hand shielding the sun from your eyes so you could see your fiance’s grinning face as he took a few steps back, dripping water onto the freshly mopped floor. He ran forward and jumped off the boat once again, you could see him lurch forward right before he leapt in what you were sure was a poorly executed attempt at a front-flip.

You grimaced as you heard the splash- you had a feeling that he’d landed face-first. Your suspicions were confirmed as you heard coughing as Dongmin climbed up the side of the boat. As soon as he made it back onto the bow, he walked over to where you were laying, and sat down on the ground next to your chair, laying his head on top of your bare thigh. You patted his back as he continued coughing weakly- trying your hardest to keep from laughing at your friend.

“That was great. Ten out of ten.”

He looked back up at you, a look of pure disdain on his face. “I hate you so much.”

You giggled and ran your hands through his hair. He rolled his eyes at you as he rested his chin on your thigh, closing his eyes as you continued running your fingers through his hair, nails scratching his scalp in a soothing manner. You were worried that you were laying on the “head-over-heels in love” thing too thick, but your worries were immediately quelled as Dongmin’s mother entered the scene.

“You two are just so sweet.” She giggled as she approached you, tightly gripping her full glass of champagne.

“They’re disgusting.” Dongmin’s brother protested from his spot, finally waking up from his nap.

“You’re just jealous.” Dongmin teased, discreetly flipping his brother off as his mother settled into her seat on the younger brother’s opposite side.

“You two have been all up in each other’s business since we landed. Is that Italian air really getting to you guys that much? My room’s right next to yours, I’m just glad you two are quiet when you bang.”

You were so sure he was onto you.

“You poor thing.” Dongmin mused as he wrapped his arms around your leg, “You’ll understand when you’re older.”

His brother simply rolled his eyes and laid back down, placing his arm back over his eyes. You turned back to Dongmin, who was already looking up at you with a lazy smile. You hated these moments. The moments that made this whole thing feel like a part of it was real. Because why were you here on a yacht in Italy with his family, with his head on your thigh, and a ring on your finger if no part of it was real?

“I’ll be right back, baby.” Dongmin whispered as he stood up. He leaned over and gently put his hand on the side of your face, giving a short, sweet kiss to your forehead before going inside.

You watched as he walked back inside, trying not to lose your mind as you heard his mother drunkenly giggling from behind you.

God, you hated this.

July 5th

It was the night before the end of your vacation in Italy, and you just couldn’t wait to go home.

Sharing a bed with Dongmin every night of the past two weeks had been nothing short of torture. It wasn’t like he’d been all up in your space, and he didn’t snore- actually, he was very quiet and very respectful of the invisible line that you’d drawn in the middle of the bed, sticking exclusively to his side, and keeping all of his clothes on- despite the fact that you knew he usually slept in just his underwear.

But you often found yourself awake into the early hours of the morning just staring at his back, trying to push the random romantic scenarios about your best friend that your brain was making up into the back of your mind. You told yourself that it was all just because of the atmosphere. I mean, what else are you supposed to think when you’re sharing a bed in a romantic villa in Italy? You were just excited to go back home and sleep in your own bed. Alone.

But here you were, sitting out on the balcony that was attached to your room, glass of red wine in hand as you listened to Dongmin ramble on about something that you couldn’t pay attention to- not while the moon was out in full and it just lit up his features so beautifully.

“You know what I’m talking about?” Dongmin turned to you, his eyes scanning over your face that was undoubtedly just staring up at him blankly.

“Not really.” You hummed taking a big sip of your wine, your eyes met his and you immediately looked away, opting to stare out into the beautiful Italian nature instead of at your beautiful best friend’s face.

“You okay?” Dongmin asked softly, nudging your arm much softer than he usually would.

You took an even bigger sip of wine. “I’ll be okay. Just ready to go home, I guess.”

“Yeah…” He sighed, his eyes still on you. “It’s getting pretty late. You ready to go to bed?”

You were going to miss him saying that.

“Yeah.”

You got ready for bed as slowly as possible, dragging the process out as long as you could. You could feel Dongmin’s eyes on you as you slowly brushed your teeth, and again as you were brushing your hair, and again as you exited the bathroom after getting into your pajamas, and again as you climbed into bed.

The two of you laid there in silence in the dark until, simultaneously, you turned to each other. As soon as your eyes met each other, you could feel your eyes welling up. You didn’t want this to be over.

“You sure you’re okay?” Dongmin whispered, shuffling a little bit closer to you. In the moonlight peeking through the curtains, you could see the worried look in his eyes. You nodded quickly, staying still as he reached out to brush your hair out of your face. His fingers lingered over your jawline, causing goosebumps to raise on your skin. “You know, I’m really glad that you were able to come on this trip. I think I’d have gone insane without you here.”

“Yeah?” You whispered back, the feeling of his fingers on your jaw causing your mind to struggle to come up with a witty reply.

“Yeah.” He breathed out, moving his hand to stroke his thumb across your cheekbone, brushing away the tear that you hadn’t realized had fallen. “You’re the best fake fiancée I’ve ever had.”

Right. Fake.

“High praise.” You joked, causing Dongmin to flash you a grin that made your heart ache. You loved his smile.

“I love you, you know? You’re my best friend.”

Friend. Friend. You needed to hammer that word into your mind.

“I love you too, Dongmin.”

He ran his thumb over your cheek one last time before leaning forward to press a kiss to the tip of your nose, bidding you a goodnight, and turning back around- leaving you laying there, staring blankly at his back

You were so screwed.

December 21st

Eleven months. Eleven. Months.

You’d been engaged to your best friend for almost an entire year.

After your trip to Lake Como, things started to become more complicated. Dongmin’s parents had started asking the two of you to set a date and start looking at venues, menus, dresses, suits, flowers, honeymoon destinations, guest lists- you name it. Your acting in Italy had apparently shown them how “in love” you were with each other, and they were eager for the two of you to finally tie the knot. You had been holding them off by telling them that you wanted to wait until the new year for all of that, but they, especially his mother, were all too ready to get involved in the wedding planning.

You’d started hating being engaged to Dongmin. Every time the two of you were alone together, it just reminded you of your last night in Italy. The way he held your face so gently, and the way he wiped away your tear was constantly on your mind.

But you doubted he even noticed the tense air whenever the two of you met up, as he had been sulking since the end of the summer over the fact that his parents still hadn’t offered him a job yet.

But today was the day of his parents Christmas party, and he was so sure that they would offer it to him tonight. You had your doubts.

The two of you were getting ready in Dongmin’s apartment as you usually did for his parents' parties. You were wearing a beautiful forest green satin dress that you'd gotten as a bridesmaid for an old friend, and the same heels that you’d worn when Dongmin had proposed to you almost a year ago. You were waiting in the foyer for Dongmin to come out of his room, tapping your foot as the seconds ticked by.

“Alright, you ready to go?” He asked in a jovial tone as he entered the room, fixing the cuffs of his suit jacket. He looked up at you in anticipation and stopped in his tracks, his hand freezing on his sleeve as his eyes wandered over your form.

You stood there silently for a good few seconds, waiting for him to say something. But he didn’t. “...Yeah?”

His eyes snapped up to your face and he slightly shook his head, dropping his hands from his sleeve. “Right! Okay, let’s go, then.”

He hurriedly turned off the lights and set the alarm before helping you with your jacket, and offering his elbow to you. You gave him a suspicious glare, but he just grinned at you, guiding you downstairs to where his driver was waiting.

You were drunk. But you felt the need to be even drunker. The two of you had been at the party for around an hour when Dongmin’s father tapped the side of his champagne glass and made an announcement: He was finally letting Dongmin into the company. At first, you turned to Dongmin ecstatically, pressing a firm kiss to his cheek and hugging him tightly. He’d wanted this for so long.

But then you remembered.

It was over now.

You and Dongmin had agreed in the beginning that you would be engaged only until his parents offered him a job at their company. You’d agreed to this. You knew this was coming. So why were you sitting in an empty room crying into your champagne?

You didn’t look up as you heard the door open, you were assuming that it was a drunk couple looking for some privacy until you heard a familiar voice speak up.

“Any particular reason you’re sitting alone crying into your champagne?�� None other than Park Jinwoo asked as he sidled into the room, his hands tucked into the pockets of his beautifully fitting dark blue suit.

You tearfully chuckled, wiping the tears from your cheeks. “You know, I was just asking myself that question.” You looked up at Jinwoo who was leaning on his shoulder against an ornate bookshelf, looking down on you with a placid look on his face.

“Trouble in paradise?” He mused as he dragged his finger down the spine of one of the books.

You scoffed at him, leaning back in your chair as you downed the rest of your champagne in one gulp. “Something like that.”

“That’s a shame…He’s been head over heels for you since high school, so I can’t imagine what could have happened.”

Your eyes snapped up to him, he looked back down at you with a knowing smirk. “What do you mean by that, Jinwoo?”

He shrugged his shoulders casually, as if to brush off your question. “I don’t know. What do you think it means?”

“I’m so not in the mood for your bullshit.”

“Fair enough. Should probably be getting back to the party anyway.” He offered a hand to you which you rolled your eyes at before taking, allowing him to help you out of your chair. “You’d better get back to your fiance. It’s not a good idea for a pretty girl to be drunk and alone at a party.”

Jinwoo didn’t let go of your hand until the two of you were out in the hallway. He gave you a one-armed hug, smirking into your ear, “well, speak of the devil.”

You turned to see Dongmin standing at the other end of the hall, staring at the two of you, an undoubtedly shocked expression casted over his face.

“See you later.” Jinwoo turned and gave you a wave over his shoulder, leaving you standing in the hallway, swaying slightly. You shouldn’t have chugged that glass of champagne. But as soon as you started to feel a little too dizzy, Dongmin was by your side, his steady hands holding onto your waist.

You leaned into him with a deep sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck. As soon as the side of your face made contact with his chest, you felt your eyes welling up. He gently stroked the back of your head, confused at your demeanor, but wanting to offer whatever comfort he could nonetheless.

He pressed his lips to the top of your head, gently rubbing his nose into your hair. “What’s wrong, baby?”

You choked back a sob as you pressed your face into his chest even harder. “Please don’t call me that.”

His hand went still on the back of your head. “Why?”

You took a shaky breath, bringing your hands to his back, gripping into his suit jacket. “Cause it’s over now. Right?”

Dongmin stayed silent, opting to continue gently stroking your hair instead of responding, letting you cry off your makeup into his expensive suit.

“I think I should take you home.” He said to you softly, gently unwrapping your arms from around his body. You sniffled and feebly attempted to wipe away the tears from your face, not daring to look Dongmin in the eye. You nodded at the ground and allowed him to guide you to the front door and help you put on your coat.

“Stay here for a second. I’m gonna go say goodbye to my parents.” You nodded gently, staring down at your shoes. You’ve never felt so pathetic in your life.

Dongmin returned a minute later, gently taking your hand and leading you to the car. The two of you sat in silence, Dongmin running his thumb over your knuckles, and you, staring out the window, not even bothering to wipe the tears that were running down your face.

You knew it had to come to an end eventually. You always did. But it still hurt.

The car pulled up to Dongmin’s penthouse, and you mindlessly let Dongmin lead you up to his apartment. Your brain was practically dead at that point. He could have been taking you to an old abandoned house to murder you and you wouldn’t have noticed, nor would you have particularly cared.

You let him help you take off your jacket and heels and lead you to his room. He motioned for you to sit down on his bed, which you did, flopping onto it, laying flat on your back, folding your hands over your stomach in an attempt to soothe its churning. Dongmin sighed as he watched you lay down, taking off his suit jacket, shoes, and tie, and sitting down next to you.

“Do you want the ring back?” Your voice cracked as you asked the question, your eyes threatening to shed even more tears. Dongmin sighed as he leaned back, laying down next to you.

“No. I bought it for you.”

Your lips trembled at his words, you quickly wiped away the tears that had started to spill. “I don’t want this to be over.” You finally choked out, your hand covering your mouth to stifle your sobs.

“I know.” Dongmin replied gently, reaching over to wrap his arm under you, prompting you to roll over and dig your face into his chest. “It’s okay.” He whispered as you cried into him. “You’re just drunk. You’ll feel better tomorrow.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You’ll be okay.”

“No, I won’t.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because I don’t want to lose you.”

Dongmin held you tighter at those words, his brow furrowing as you said it. “You’re not going to lose me, baby.”

“I just want to stay with you.”

“We’ll always be together.”

“It’s going to be different now.” Your tear ducts had finally run dry. You just felt defeated now. Dongmin still held you just as tight as before, one hand on your waist and the other on the back of your head.

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yes, it does.”

This time it was Dongmin’s turn to cry. Yet, he smiled. “I love you.”

“God, don’t say that to me.” You sighed into his neck, rubbing your sore eyes as tears continued to run down Dongmin’s face.

“No, but it’s true. I love you so much.”

You pulled away, he was starting to confuse you. You propped yourself up on your elbow to get a better look at him. Your confusion grew as you saw him smiling up at you through his tears. “What are you talking about?”

Dongmin leaned up and reached for your face, holding it in the same way he had during that night in Italy, his fingers on your jawline and his thumb stroking your cheek. “I don’t want this to be over, either.”

“...Are you drunk?”

He grinned up at you and brought his other hand to your cheek, looking at you with a kind of fondness you’d never seen on his face before. “Definitely not. I just love you.”

“Dongmin, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that a few times.” You replied, sitting up fully, Dongmin following you, still holding your face. “But what do you mean?”

Dongmin gently smiled down at you, one of his hands trailing down from your face to take your left hand, gently sliding the ring off your finger. Your heart dropped as he did so, tears once more threatening to start spilling from your eyes.

“Will you marry me?”

Your breath hitched in your throat, you completely froze in place as Dongmin slid off the bed and onto the floor, kneeling in front of you, still holding your left hand in his gentle grip.

“..Huh?”

He chuckled at you fondly, his eyes filled with nothing but adoration, and love spread across his face.

“I want to marry you. For real.” His eyes and smile softened as you stared down at him in shock, “At the start of this, I really did just see this me asking you for a favor. I really thought that at the end of this, we would call off the engagement, and go about our lives as normal. I didn’t expect this to go on this long, and I never expected to realize that I was in love with my best friend, but I did. I think I realized it for the first time in Italy. I loved going to sleep next to you every night and waking up next to you every morning, I loved seeing you with my parents and my brother, I loved sitting on the balcony drinking wine with you, I just loved spending every minute of every day with you. And it made me realize that I love you. As more than a friend. And I think I always have.”

He shifted in his spot on the floor, nervously looking up at your confused stare. He really hoped he wasn’t making a mistake by telling you right now.

“It made me realize that I wished this was for real. So, do you want to make it real?”

Just as he was starting to think that he was making a massive mistake by confessing his love to his best friend, you quickly slid off the bed onto the floor, and hugged him tightly, causing him to fall backwards onto the carpet.

“God, I love you so much.” You whispered into his neck, holding him tighter than you’d ever held anyone. He was smiling so hard, he was sure his face could have gotten stuck that way. He hugged you back just as tightly before pulling back and grabbing your face, causing your eyes to meet his.

“So is that a yes?”

“Obviously. Yes!”

Dongmin grabbed your left hand, sliding the ring back onto your finger before his hands quickly went up to the sides of your face and his lips collided with yours. Your hands gripped the back of his shirt as your lips moved against his, fighting back the happy tears that welled in your eyes.

Dongmin pulled back for breath, breathing heavily as he leaned his forehead against yours. He opened his eyes and met yours, “I love you.”

“I know.”

the two of you giggled quietly before your lips met again.

December 22nd

You woke the next morning in Dongmin’s bed, your dress and his suit lay wrinkled on the floor. You groaned into the pillow and turned to your side, almost jumping as you were met with the face of your fiance sleeping soundly next to you.

You smiled softly, brushing his soft hair out of his face, admiring his features in the early morning light.

His eyes fluttered open slowly, reaching up in confusion to grab your hand that was lightly grazing his face. He smiled warmly and leaned into your hand as soon as he realized it was you. “Good morning.” He groaned, his deep morning voice causing your stomach to flutter.

“Good morning.” You replied gently, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He looked up at you softly, pressing a kiss to the palm of your hand before slowly sitting up and tossing back the blankets.

“How about I make us some pancakes?” He called over his shoulder as he made his way to the bathroom.

“Sounds good.” You stretched and sat up as Dongmin turned on the shower in the other room.

“You coming?” He called out, you smiled and shimmied out from the blankets, your feet meeting the soft carpet on the floor.

“Just a second!”

You could get used to this.

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 1 year ago

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Meghan’s Lies

by request of @britishroyalfamilyvideos

Not comprehensive - this is just what I’ve tracked and they are not in any order. If I’ve missed any, add to the comments.

Meghan grew up an only child, never had any kind of relationship with Sam or Tom while growing up.

Meghan grew up in near-poverty where the $5 Sizzler buffet was a splurge.

Meghan didn’t know who Diana or the Royal Family was.

Meghan didn’t know that Diana did the Panorama interview.

Meghan told a television production she was union when she actually wasn’t.

Meghan’s character was being written off Suits because she was marrying Harry. (She was actually written off because Patrick Adams wanted out and her character was tied to his storylines.)

Meghan doesn’t have any family except Doria.

Meghan paid for college herself with her own student loans. (Thomas did; has receipts.)

Meghan has degrees in international relations and theatre from Northwestern University. (It’s actually a degree in communications, according to the commencement booklet.)

Meghan hated Britain because they were racists.

The Sussexes were more popular in Australasia than the Cambridges were.

Meghan didn’t want to serve newborn Archie on a silver platter to the British media.

Meghan wasn’t allowed to do a photocall at the hospital after Archie was born.

Meghan never talked to Oprah before Megxit.

Meghan wasn’t working with UK Vogue on a special edition.

Meghan couldn’t wear the same color of clothing as anyone else.

Meghan could only wear neutral-colored clothing.

Meghan was never going to dress her children like Kate’s Victorian ghost dolls.

Meghan was going to get her UK citizenship.

Meghan gave up her Hollywood team.

Meghan didn’t want a big public wedding and was forced into the big public spectacle by the royal family.

Meghan and Harry eloped three days before the Windsor spectacle with the Archbishop of Canterbury in their garden at Kensington Palace.

Meghan loves her engagement ring.

Meghan and Harry received permission from The Queen to name their daughter Lilibet.

Meghan loves Africa.

Meghan is committed and passionate about charity work and philanthropy.

There are no tabloids in the U.S.

All Americans have a rude, demanding, and 5am work ethic.

Paparazzi car chases

(All the times Meghan plagiarized quotes from others in her speeches)

Meghan frequented Korean spas in L.A. as a child.

Meghan didn’t collaborate with Scobie on Finding Freedom.

Meghan didn’t expect Thomas to publish her private letter.

The royals were the family Meghan never had.

The royals never welcomed Meghan into the fold.

The royals never gave Meghan any kind of help or training.

Meghan gave up everything for Harry.

Meghan didn’t announce her pregnancy at Eugenie’s wedding.

Meghan loves kids and couldn’t wait to be a mom.

Meghan’s dog was too old to fly overseas.

Meghan wasn’t allowed to decorate their home with items from the Royal Collection.

Kate made Meghan cry.

Meghan had a warm, friendly relationship with The Queen.

Meghan is the best boss ever.

Meghan made her own banana bread in Australia. (It was the Governor’s House chef.)

Meghan had suicidal thoughts the night of the Cirque du Soleil event and couldn’t stop crying at the event.

The royal family never helped Meghan with her mental health.

Meghan is being advised by the Obamas post-Megxit.

The children were refused titles by the BRF because they were racist.

Meghan refused titles for the children.

Meghan had a fish tacos lunch with Michelle Obama.

Meghan was pen pals with Hillary Clinton. (We know now that Thomas intervened on this.)

Meghan witnessed the LA riots.

Meghan supports independent grassroots journalism.

Meghan was going to hit the ground running in Britain after the wedding.

Her height. (She claims to be 5′6...maybe in heels.)

Meghan worked at the US embassy in Argentina. (She did a summer study program and ended up dropping out.)

Meghan didn’t know she had to curtsy to The Queen.

The BRF took her passport and car keys after the wedding and never let her travel.

Meghan wasn’t allowed to leave Nottingham Cottage or Frogmore Cottage unless it was for a work engagement.

They were evicted from Frogmore Cottage. (Netflix docuseries shows they were moving out June 2022.)

Meghan was concerned for her privacy in London and wanted to move back to L.A. because there were no paparazzi.

Archie was denied 24/7 protection by the royal family because he didn’t have a HRH and wasn’t a prince.

The family gossiped about Archie’s skin color and made racist comments to her about him.

The palace forced Meghan to take her name off Archie’s birth certificate. (Archie’s first birth certificate had his mother as Rachel Meghan, HRH The Duchess of Sussex. This birth certificate was later amended to have his mother as HRH The Duchess of Sussex.)

There was egg in the wedding food.

Meghan wasn’t allowed to have scents in St. George’s Church. (She wasn’t allowed to spray perfumes, but could have candles.)

The palace has Archie’s birth certificate locked under file and won’t give it to Meghan, so she can’t register him for school.

Meghan wasn’t allowed to do hair trials with her wedding tiara by Angela Kelly.

Meghan was the new Bond Girl.

Fire in Archie’s nursery in South Africa.

Meghan said titles are not important - people should be linked, not ranked.

Archie was too young to fly to Balmoral after he was born. (And yet they took him on 4 international private flights with Elton John...)

Meghan lied about her age. (This was while she was a working actress in Hollywood. Her age has been corrected so it’s not really a lie anymore.)

Belly padding during the pregnancy with Archie.

Sussex Royal had organic innate popularity on social media. Absolutely no bots were involved at all!

Circumstances of the miscarriage. (There are four different stories out there.)

Zoom calls with the Cambridge children during COVID lockdowns.

Zoom calls with The Queen during COVID lockdowns.

Flowers on Philip’s casket were from the Sussexes.

The Sussexes were invited to the Beckham wedding.

Lili would have a royal christening with The Queen.

Lili was christened.

The Sussexes were invited to the diplomatic reception held before The Queen’s funeral.

Meghan is best friends with Jennifer Aniston and they walk their dogs together all the time.

The children’s appearances are often edited/Photoshopped in published photographs.

Edit: More from the comments - credit to the blogs

Meghan didn’t have friends in school. (@rosesandmoonstones)

Meghan was prom queen. (@rosesandmoonstones)

Circumstances of the “racist royal” remarks (@scorpiotwentythree)

Meghan received a standing ovation at the UN, led by Ban Ki Moon (@scorpiotwentythree!)

The type of ambassador role Meghan had for the UN pre-Harry.

Meghan met The Queen in Balmoral over tea just after starting to date Harry in mid-2016. (@scorpiotwentythree)

“No one asked me if I’m okay.” (@rosesandmoonstones)

Meghan didn’t know racism till she arrived in the UK. (@jillydillypickles)

South Africans danced in the streets for the Sussex wedding. (@jillydillypickles)

#time flies Meghan lies #anon #lies

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sassyfrassboss · 1 year ago

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Where did all the money go?

So we keep coming back to the fact that Harry & Meghan are broke, like on the verge of bankruptcy broke.

Going back over the past 5 years I am going to delve into their finances.

Meghan was estimates to be worth $5m when she married Harry. Now, we know this just isn’t in fact true. While Meghan may have earned close to $5m while appearing on Suits, she also had to pay her agent, PR people, attorneys, etc. By the time that is all said and done, she was probably closer to $1.5 million, and that’s being generous.

Now Harry is said to have had about $20m at the time from his inheritance from Diana. This was due to not having to touch that money so it was able to accumulate over time. There are also rumors that he received about $3m from The Queen Mother (this has been heavily disputed) and will be set to receive about another $4m from that trust on his 40th birthday.

While a working royal, Harry was only responsible for paying for personal items such as clothing and travel. He never had to pay a mortgage, electricity bill, or car payment.

I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt that he had about $25m at the time he married Meghan. With her income we can say that as of May 2018 they were worth a combined $26.5m (this does not include her merching money from 2016).

So they lived in Nott Cott and according to them, had no staff because the place was just “so tiny!”

From November 2017 until March 2020, I would say Meghan has probably earned close to $20m in merching contracts. Plant has stated that she knows for a fact Meghan, at one point, was earning $250k per item she was merching per outfit, so up to $1m a day. I do believe this money has been set aside and Meghan is using this as her fallback plan. I truly don’t think she has touched this money.

So Fiscal year 2018 they had $3.5m minus any personal expenses. We know she wasn’t paying for her clothing and they were getting free private jet rides and free stays so I am going to say at the end of 2018 they had about $3m of that $3.5 remaining.

When H&M moved into Frogmore in March 2019, the UK paid the refurbishment bill of close to $4m USD. While living there they paid for household staff such as the chef they had, housekeeper, and nannies. So I am going to take about $250k off of the $3.5 and let’s say another $500k for personal expenses. Fiscal year 2019 they ended with $2.75m.

January 2020 I am going to estimate they went into the year with a possible savings of $5.75m from Charles. We know they stayed for free in Canada and didn’t have to pay for security at the time.

By March 2020, I estimate that they went into being “private citizens” with close to a possible $32m in the bank (not including her merch money).

Their house was $14m and rumor is that Charles gave them an approximately $4m down payment. Let’s say H&M put down an additional $3m out of their own pocket. Now they have $29m and a mortgage of $50k a month, plus staff salaries. I estimated that their yearly expenses were close to $4m a year for household and security. To have spending money I figured they would need to earn about $6m a year.

So if they were to earn no income, that $29m would last about 7 years. However, we know they have received about $13m to Archewell plus whatever they earned from Spotify & Netlfix. Which I doubt was a lot after overhead for their projects.

$29m plus the $13m and approximately $4m from Netlfix & Spotify combined is about $46m, plus Harry’s $35m three book deal ($10 million because he only wrote one book).

This would put them at possible $56m (up to $81m) net worth from 2018 until current if they were careful with their money.

Rumors of them being beyond broke means that they have spent a total of $56m in 5 years, but probably closer to $70m.

Yet they have nothing to show for their insane spending other than their house.

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mrs-toohot · 4 months ago

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Contestant Info - Season 3

😇 Avi - 23 - Private Detective - Ireland 🇮🇪 He/Him - ♈️ -Chess Master, Charismatic, Adventurous

😇 Beatriz - 22 - Fitness Trainer - Brazil 🇧🇷 She/Her - ♐️ - Spontaneous, Charismatic, Dancer

😈 Carmen - 23 - Tattoo Artist - Puerto Rico 🇵🇷 She/Her - ♋️ - Fashionista, Outgoing, Independent

🥰Giselle - 26 - Influencer - France 🇫🇷 She/Her - ♌️ - Foodie, Devoted, Creative

🥰 Isla - 25 - Woodworker - Canada 🇨🇦 She/Her - ♉️ - Music Buff, Creative, Trustworthy

😇 Jirayu - 24 - Pilot - USA 🇺🇸 He/Him - ♎️ - Devoted, Intellectual, Polyglot

😈Julian - 28 - Indie Musician - Canada 🇨🇦 He/Him - ♊️ - Confident, Protective, Blogger

🥰Matthias - 25 - NFL Player - USA 🇺🇸 He/Him - ♌️ - Traveler, Confident, Romantic

😈 Poppy - 25 - Architect - UK 🇬🇧 She/Her - ♒️ - Go-getter, Flirty, Fencer

😇Sean - 23 - Receptionist - Ireland 🇮🇪 He/Him - ♍️ - Fitness Buff, Analytical, Outgoing

😈 Taz - 26 - Chef - Germany 🇩🇪 He/Him - ♏️ - Artist, Passionate, Protective

😇 Victoria - 27 - Accountant - UK 🇬🇧 She/Her - ♑️ - Activist, Adventurous, Lone Wolf

🥰 Zayn - 29 - Interior Designer - USA 🇺🇸 He/him - ♓️ - Gamer, Creative, Trustworthy

#thth #too hot to handle game #ththg #ththgame #thth game #ththg s3

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deelaundry · 1 month ago

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AO3 Wrapped [writer’s ^and vidder's edition]

1. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

This was another year of needing the push of fests to finish and post works. @calaisreno's May prompts 2024 helped a lot, although I didn't go as far with updating The Private Personal Blog of Dr. John H. Watson as I wanted to. I posted seven (very short) chapters for the first eleven prompts. The remaining twenty prompts have been plotted, just not written :( and will take the story to the end of S3, where we wave goodbye entirely to canon. FYI- my notes for that section say:

That’s the end of canon. NO ABOMINABLE BRIDE NO MORIARTY RETURN NO DRUGS RELAPSE NO EURUS - Redbeard was a dog - Victor was a uni friend

Second biggest surprise was how much I absolutely fell in love with Sherlock & Co. I didn't think I'd have another show grab me the way this has. Not had a ton of fannish output yet, but it's likely coming.

2. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

A gajillion in docs. I keep thinking, "Can put this away; I'll never go back to it," and then immediately having my brain go back to it. Slightly fewer in the vid idea queue, but that's not zero.

3. Your favorite character to write/vid this year?

Great big cuddly squishes for the two John Watsons I wrote, BBC John and Jonk (podcast John). Same person at core, completely different in personality.

Vid: I liked vidding Yasper for Dance the Night, but vidding Ken to a "Xavier" song was also just *chef's kiss: Imma Live Forever

4. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Not posted yet, but I've written some Mariana from podcast. I adore her and feel I can write her inner self... but am very frustrated that I know nothing about growing up in Spain. Don't know what her relationship with her family is like, what her inside jokes are with Spanish friends about British people/UK, etc. I have some handle (from an outside perspective) on what it might be like to be Hispanic in the US but nothing on being Spanish in London.

5. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

Sorry not sorry, more than one:

More of BBC poly QPR Sherlock/John and others around them

Podcast Sherlock/John/Mariana

BBC John Watson and James Wilson as exes from secondary school when James was on an exchange program in England

A different deep platonic relationship for BBC Sherlock and "John"

Sherlock Holmes & James Wilson friendship (where James calls Sherlock "Shushy")

BBC Molly Hooper/John Watson taking place after John's gone to prison for assaulting Sherlock in S4. You might not be surprised to learn that their relationship is actually all about Sherlock.

There's also a BBC kinky WIP that ends with Greg Lestrade/Mary Morstan, although it won't really explore that relationship per se.

6. Did you receive any gifts this year?

Yep and they were all great!

King of Anything [Fanvid] for Overboard (1987) by periru3

A triptych of related fics by Vulgarweed: Follow the Lights in Sherlock BBC, Pusherman in Watson and Holmes comic, and Champagne Supernova in Sherlock & Co podcast.

The Final Adventure of a Problematic, Lying Detective (Aka Oklahomo IV) which is an hilarious fic based on a Norwegian parody of Sherlock BBC.

7. Did you do any collaborative works this year?

Nope.

8. What do you listen to while writing?

Nothing while writing. While vidding it's the vid's song over and over and over again.

9. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

In vidding, it's the fun match of the music with Ken sliding slowly down the hood of his truck, and the Mt Rushmore horses being the "fake-ass hoes."

In writing, it's from a blurb that I may or may not ever finish: The sex was glorious, a feedback loop of sensation rather than a race to an outcome, and at one point the woman gasped, "God, Watson, you fuck like a dyke."

Oh, wait, I wrote that in 2023. What is time?

Thank you @meetinginsamarra for your AO3 Wrapped that inspired this!

#my stuff #johnlock #hilson #jonklock #house md #if you want to do this meme then i tag you #we used to call these things memes #we the olds

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swampstew · 3 months ago

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What's the Magic Word?

Chapter 27: Til Death

Major smut chapter

Rowena wiped her sweaty forehead with her arm as she finished clearing out a few acres of land in between the two mountain peaks. She had spent weeks terraforming the island to prepare the foundation for the castle hideout Kid wanted to build. Her next task was to stack slabs of rock from one of the mountains for the walls and flooring, but that could wait until tomorrow she decided as she began her trek to the ship. As she walked she was trailed by a young, black feline she found living off the land. It chirped at her and she bent down to scratch its chin.

“Sorry sweetie, the big man said no more cats on his ship.”

It mewled sadly.

“Yeah me too but don’t worry, once this castle is built, I’ll smuggle you in.”

The cat bumped its head against her hand and scampered off into the woods. Rowena had no idea what species it was, and she was curious of the light, spotty pattern she saw if the light reflected off the fur just right.

The Witch made a beeline for the bathtub as soon as she got on board and she let herself sink underwater. She didn’t know how long she stayed in there but when she came out Kid was sitting at his desk doing some paperwork. She pressed her toweled body to his back and kissed the nape of his neck.

“Hey, thanks for all you’ve done so far clearing out the land,” he said, not looking up from his work. “We’ll be sailing again soon to pick up supplies to build the rest of our base.”

“You’re welcome. How was your physical therapy today?”

“It was fine, my motor functions are responding well and I didn’t pop the stress ball today.”

“That’s amazing babe. You’re crushing through the anticipated timeline of recovery. Did UK say when you’ll begin testing out your Devil Fruit power with the arm?”

“No but I’ll start that before we leave here.” He pushed his hair back and motioned for Rowena to sit on his lap, wrapping his flesh arm around her waist as he inhaled her scent. She had been making a sweet, floral concoction to wash her hair from ingredients foraged from the island, and Kid loved the way it smelled.

“Ro,’ what is your role with the Straw Hats?”

“How do you mean?”

“I know your crew has a shipwright, an archaeologist, a swordsman, a doctor, and a pet, but what do you do?”

“Ah, well Chopper is the doctor, he’s a reindeer and not our pet. We have a navigator, a sniper, a chef, and a musician too. I guess I provide support. We all bring different strengths to the crew but our main fighters are Sanji, Zoro, and of course Luffy. The rest of us sort of work around them to help wherever and whenever we can.”

“Oh! I thought Straw Hat was the pet,” he smirked at his joke. “I see, then that’s what I want you doing here as we move forward with our journey. I don’t want to see you diving headfirst into danger. I want you to provide support to the crew and ship, keep them from harm.”

“What about supporting you or keeping you safe?”

“I said what I said. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

Rowena bristled and sighed before agreeing and pushed off him. She got dressed and sat at her vanity, working on something privately. Kid occasionally glanced at her as she rifled through pages and scrolls, jotting down notes and muttered under her breath. Finally, she got up and walked back to him, he leaned back in his chair.

“I want to carve a rune in your prosthetic arm.”

“Why?” he narrowed his eyes at her.

“Since you won’t let me keep you safe, the next best thing I can do is give you support. This is a protection barrier rune that activates once your blood is drawn. You gonna let me do it or what?”

He nodded at her, resting his arm to the table. She pulled out the dagger he made her and carved a small character to the underside of his arm. She blew away the metal shavings and brought the dagger to his flesh hand.

“This will hurt for a second,” she pricked his thumb. Carefully letting the blood drip on the tip of the dagger, she turned his metal arm awkwardly to let the blood fill the small carving.

“Didn’t feel shit,” he muttered with a roll of his eyes.

“Stay very still,” she muttered bringing his organic thumb to her mouth, licking off the smeared blood and pressed a kiss to the wound.

She lifted her wand just above the bloodied rune and in a hushed tone repeatedly chanted, “Repellendum malum minatur, ut nobis.”

Kid watched as the blood began to burn and the rune became deep red. She lowered her wand and the rune was completed.

“Ok let’s test it out,” she walked out of the cabin.

Kid followed her to the main deck, intrigued with whatever she was planning. There were a few crewmembers on deck and they all watched as the couple stood in the center.

“Ok so the way it should work is – if you’re ever in a tight spot and someone manages to make you bleed, the rune activates to produce a protective barrier around you. Ideally it should also have some kick to it. Ready?”

“Ready for what?”

Rowena didn’t answer, she only drew out her wand and unsheathed it. Before he could react or question it, she flung her beloved wand at him and the seastone-tip blade sliced his shoulder as it flew in the air before falling to the deck. The crew rose to their feet, some calling out in alarm.

He scowled at the minor pain he felt, looking down as the laceration began to bead with blood droplets. As soon as the first fat droplet fell, Kid felt a force shake him. In a flash, a massive purple mist barrier surrounded his body, thickening as it swirled around him. Then suddenly, Rowena was flung off the ship screaming in the air until she broke the water’s surface.

The crew and Kid rushed portside scanning the ocean for her. After a minute, a tunnel of water came from the surface with Rowena standing atop the crest straight to the main deck. Her hair coiled and twisted itself to release all the seawater it had absorbed.

“That worked out better than I expected! Happy early birthday Kiddo.”

Smiling, he drew her into a kiss, not even minding the weakened feeling that took over him as the sea water soaked his clothes and skin..

“Always outshining yourself,” he purred against her mouth.

“You seem to be the driving force that pushes me to get creative,” she kissed him back.

“I am supposed to protect and train you up,” he snickered.

“Fucking hell, can you take this mushy shit back to your cabin?” Killer crossed his arms at them.

The couple looked at each other before continuing to make out, this time they both made direct eye contact with Killer whose neck became a shade of deep red as he started twitching.

𓏧 𓏲 𓏲 𓏲 𓋒 𓏲 𓏲 𓏲 𓏲 𓏧

Rowena woke up at the crack of dawn and as gently as she could, extricated herself from Kid’s possessive cuddling to get ready for the day. Killer and a handful of crewmembers met her on the deck before disembarking off ship carrying massive duffel bags and large boxes.

Kid was in a sour mood while he stomped around the ship. He felt like some of the crew was missing, which he didn’t mind so much but the fact that Rowena and Killer were among the missing and had been for hours, annoyed the ever-loving shit out of him. On his birthday of all days. Assholes.

It wasn’t until late afternoon that his fiancé, best friend and a horde of pirates came back to the ship, all looking incredibly suspicious of something.

“Where the fuck have you been?” he barked at them.

“Preparing for your party!” Rowena smiled at him.

“Do you not understand what a surprise party is?!” Killer snapped at her.

“But he doesn’t like surprises,” she argued with a cocked eyebrow.

That softened Kid’s edge and he hid his smile, turning to watch the waves lazily slap against his ship while they debated on whether or not he liked surprises.

“Fuck a surprise party, show me what you’ve been up to.”

The entire crew disembarked and made their way to their future base – Cat even joined them, trotting alongside the Captain. They entered the clearing where Rowena had spent a month terraforming the landscape and Kid was left breathless at the sight.

The ground was completely leveled out and cleared of debris and foliage; she had settled large stone slabs to create a smooth floor foundation, and she had even set up tall stone walls against the mountain to create a giant, partially built entrance. It was embellished with what he assumed was an illusion as the walls had text on them that would blink and reappear – it spelled out:

☠️Happy Birthday Captain☠️

The band’s equipment was all set up just off the foundation. Fairy lights were woven around the walls and between barrels. A long table was set up with several glasses, bottles of liquor and barrels of rum framing the wooden table.

Killer, who had been dragging along a cart, uncovered and began to sort an array of Kid’s favorite foods on an empty table, opposite of the drinking table. Heat set down a giant box in the center of Killer’s dishes. Kid uncovered it and there was a gigantic cake with his jolly roger decorated in frosting.

“How the fuck did you pull this off?” Kid wondered aloud to no one in particular.

“Team effort,” Killer shrugged nonchalantly. “This motley crew of weirdos care about you or something.”

Beaming, Kid ordered everyone to start pouring drinks as he walked around taking it all in. Rowena watched him from the wall she was leaning on with the Massacre Soldier.

“Think he likes it?” she whispered.

“I’ve never seen him this surprised or speechless in the time I’ve known him; since he was this tall,” Killer lowered his hand until it hovered just below his kneecap.

“Aw little guy!” her lavender eyes twinkled.

Drinks were passed around and Kid took his place in the center, raising his glass in the air and the others followed suit.

“22 years alive in this miserable world and I couldn’t ask for a better crew to sail these wicked seas. Drink up fuckers, it’s time to party – next week we conquer!” he emptied his glass as the crew cheered and toasted. He made his way to the wall and pulled Killer into a giant hug, thumping his back excitedly. Killer wished him happy birthday again and then left the couple alone to get another drink.

Kid held out his hand and Rowena took it; he twirled her around, pulling her flush to his chest. She looked at him sweetly, “Happy Birthday Captain Kid,” she purred at him.

He crashed his lips against hers, slipping his tongue inside her mouth and dominating her. She moaned lightly against him and he pushed her up against the wall, sliding his flesh hand to cup her boobs.

Giggling she put a hand on his chest, “We have all night for that. Come on let’s enjoy your party first and then,” she whispered in his ear, making his cheeks flush deeply.

“Holy fuck well when you put it that way,” he grinned at her, giving her a final kiss before they walked to the liquor table and he commanded everyone to take shots.

As the night wore on and the pirates got slammed they all indulged in drinking games and eating every scrap of food until only the cake was left. Cat got the first taste when no one was looking. By the time Heat and Wire went to grab the cake and light the candles, part of the jolly roger had been licked clean to reveal spongy cake underneath. Shrugging to one another, they arranged the candles over the bare spot and moved on with the celebration.

Once the cake had been properly devoured, Kid started a mosh pit on the floor as Wire, Heat, Killer, and Gig began playing a punk rock show. At one point Kid got on stage himself and began to sing. Rowena was genuinely surprised that the man could hold a note. She knew that he had the ability to scream and shout for long periods without going hoarse, but to hear him singing was something else entirely.

Kid looked like a genuine rockstar god on the stage with his spiked coat and long locks thrashing as he banged his head to the music. He would switch between singing passionately and then switch to guttural screaming during the more hardcore songs. His deep voice sounded natural against the sharp chords and intense metal music; the Captain could seriously consider a career in music if piracy didn’t work out for him.

Then the final song happened. Kid didn’t take his eyes off the Witch as he put his entire soul into his performance. For the first time since she met him, Rowena felt as if she’d been the one put under a spell. The way his voice flirtatiously sang the evocative lyrics against the sweet musical caresses – a stark contrast from the emo music they had been playing. It was a dark and twisted love ballad. She felt her heart tighten as Kid continued his show.

And after all the sorrow / We'll be riding high And the truth of the matter is / I'll never let you go, let you go You go down just like Holy Mary / Mary on a, Mary on a cross Your beauty never ever scared me / Mary on a, Mary on a cross If you choose to run away with me / I will tickle you internally And I see nothing wrong with that

The pirates erupted into cheers as the show came to an end. Rowena raised her glass to her man and blew him a kiss while his bandmates rotated around the stage to continue without the redhead as their front man.

Kid leapt off stage and strolled over to her, taking a drink from one his crew’s hands, bringing it to clink against her glass. Toasting to each other, they tried to link their arms together and drink, which proved to be a problem since Rowena’s arms were hilariously shorter than Kid’s. He threw his head back laughing as she muttered a spell to clean the spilled liquor off herself. He only stopped for the briefest moment to lap up droplets of rum off her chest that she had missed entirely.

Rowena took drink after drink, knowing she would need it to release all the tension in her body for what was to come. Several hours of partying later, the Captain was officially over it and ready to for birthday sex. He practically dragged Rowena back to the ship, panting and petting over her before they even crossed the cabin threshold.

“I know you’re excited but this is one of those nights were we’re going to have to take it a little slower than normal,” she bit her lip, suddenly unsure if Kid was capable of being that gentle with her, especially drunk. Chuckling, he smoothed her hair and kissed her gently.

“It’s not my first time doing this, I’ll be careful with you. I don’t ever want to hurt you, especially with you letting me do this. It’s your first time yeah?” She nodded shyly. “Then I’ll make it the best experience for you.”

Kid started by kissing her neck lovingly, brushing through her hair with organic fingers as his metal arm gently directed her on the bed. Rowena relaxed against him, weaving her arms around his neck as he continued placing kisses on her jaw and face. She caressed Kid’s skin with her fingers, tracing along his muscles and occasionally giving them a squeeze to which he would flex, and she would moan into his mouth, gripping the hard muscles fervently.

It turned out the Supernova was more than capable of being verrrry gentle, at least when it concerned his Witch. He started their affair with soft touches on her body as he explored her vulnerable spots, stroking, pinching, and strobing lightly against her body as he undressed her like he was slowly unwrapping a present. He sucked on her nipples for every throaty moan Rowena let out as his fingers stroked her clit, feeling her body tense as he edged out her orgasm. He moved to slip his fingers inside her core, reveling in the gushing wetness he produced from her and he spread her silkiness down her labia and to her second, tighter entrance.

With a long finger he began to gently rub the outer rim of his Witch’s ass trying to loosen her up a bit. Feeling truly fucking grateful he was the first – and most definitely the last – man to touch and explore her in this way. Truly a gift.

He heard her breath hitch and he lowered his mouth to her sopping core, murmuring out a soft, “It’s ok baby, I’ll take good care of you,” and he plunged his tongue deep inside her, lapping up her juices as her body arced into his mouth.

He let out a chuckle that made her body break out in goosebumps from the sensation. He used his pinky to gently probe the entrance of her ass, her dripping slick lubricating the area, allowing him to slip his finger in to the first knuckle. Rowena let out a gasp of pain mixed with surprised pleasure as he stilled his finger inside her, allowing her to adjust to the new feeling.

Kid’s cock twitched in anticipation but he paced himself, not wanting to overstimulate his woman and ruin the experience for her due to his insatiable hunger.

“Doing ok?” he asked in a gruff voice.

“Yeah, keep going,” she lightly panted.

He grunted and began sliding his pinky further inside her, feeling her tight walls adjust to his digit as he continued fucking her pussy with his heavy tongue. As he began to slowly pump his pinky in and out of her, his mouth began a deadly assault on her clitoris. He flattened his tongue against her bundle of nerves, stroking her with his tongue, letting the tip of his wet muscle apply direct pressure to her clit as she let out choked gasps in response to his ministrations.

His cock throbbed and leaked out precum, staining his briefs as he continued stretching her body out. He added one, then two fingers, plunging them deep into her pussy. Pumping three digits in and out of her holes rapidly, lips pursed around and sucking on her clit as her whimpers became shrill screams of pleasure.

“Oh fuck Kid, how do you always feel so fucking good,” she drawled out in a haze, tears blearing her vision as she felt her body quiver from the pleasure.

Kid chuckled, “I’m good at everything I do.”

Using his metal arm, he carefully pulled his pants off, freeing his cock and settling it against her body. Kid enjoyed the feeling of her slickness soaking his sensitive skin as he rubbed against her core, letting out a throaty grunt of need.

Rowena’s hand snaked in between them and she lightly traced her fingers over his cock; gently pressing his erection more firmly against her as he edged them. They moaned in unison at the delicious feeling of steady friction on their most sensitive parts. She used her thumb to rub his sensitive head and Kid let out a loud, needy moan. Globby pearls of precum began to weep from his tip and leaked on her clitoral hood as a shooting flash of pleasure began to run through her spine to clit.

“Kid I think, I think I’m gonna…”

She could barely choke out the words as Kid sped up rocking his cock against her swollen lips, his tip harshly jutting into her clit. His precum was fully seeping out of him. After a few sharp thrusts, Rowena felt a taut pull in her lower stomach snap as her body contorted against Kid’s cock, releasing a stream of wetness as she let out a breathless screech from the sensation.

Kid gave her a salacious grin as he watched his Witch’s face go through several emotions, his pelvis now drenched from her squirting. He let himself enjoy her body, slipping his cock inside her to feel her heat warm his member as he lazily thrusted inside her while she rode out her high. Her body tightened against his throbbing cock and he grunted in response, wanting to desperately fuck her into oblivion right then and there. She seemed to want the same, her walls tightened immediately against his length in a vice grip as his cock filled her to capacity.

“Fuck, so fucking tight,” he grunted.

“You’re so fucking huge,” she moaned in response, wiggling her hips to create more friction.

Kid withdrew his pinky from her body and gripped her waist as he began to mercilessly buck into her pussy. Rowena responded by wrapping her legs around his waist to angle him deeper inside her, to keep him from leaving. The redhead threw his head back and let out a strangled cry as he could feel his orgasm peaking; he knew he had to act quick or he would lose himself before he could really enjoy her.

He allowed himself a few extra pumps, indulging in the sensation of her cunt trying to milk him before he pulled out completely. Before she could protest, he plunged his fingers inside of her to continue drilling her. He curled his fingers upwards, searching for that spongey spot he knew she loved so much.

As his fingers kept her occupied, he lined his aching cock to her tight hole and probed the entrance with his tip. She let out a small hiss and he pulled back. Kid gathered as much of her slick into his hand and lubricated his shaft with it, spreading it down and over her second hole before he stuck his fingers back inside of her pussy. He lined his cock once more and waited until he could hear loud, breathy moans once more before he attempted to breach her hole.

Using all the self-restraint he had left, Kid pushed the head of his cock into Rowena’s ass, stilling once his head was fully inside to let her adjust to the sensation. She had let out a sharp gasp that was quickly overtaken with the sound of needy lust as his fingers kept rubbing inside her, dragging her attention away from the foreign intrusion.

When he heard no other objections, Kid began to push further inside her, being cautious of any noises of pain. She let out none, other than small yelps of surprise mixed with moaning. He took that as permission to keep sliding in as he rolled his hips.

It took several minutes before he fully bottomed out in her asshole and he let out a fierce whisper, “fucking gods. You’re so…gnh…tight…I feel like I can’t breathe,” he rasped, black dots appeared in his vision.

Rowena responded by clenching her body, walls tightening around his fingers and shaft alike and it made them both gasp sharply.

“Oh fuck keep doing that baby. Goddamn I’m so fucking lucky to get to have you like this,” his voice was hoarse.

She tightened her walls again and Kid snapped his head up, searching for her eyes. Lavendar and amber irises found each other and she gave him a lusty smile, obscenely licking her lips and biting down on her full bottom lip; fuck he would do anything to see her make that face every single day.

Kid stretched his body out so he could reach her face and kiss her with ferocity, his fingers working overtime in her core as he sped his thrusting. Rowena let out needy mewls as he ravished her, her brain went dumb as he aroused every part of her until she was sure she would pass out from the overstimulation.

She focused on tightening her walls with every full thrust he gave her body, drawing out more vocalized noises from the Supernova than she had ever heard from him before. He was panting, grunting like an animal as the speed of his thrusting increased; he gave out throaty moans for every squeeze she gave him, a hiss of pleasure for every scrape on his skin and scalp her nails graced him with. And her favorite sound of all – the praising he showered her with as he neared his end.

“You’re doing so good for your first-time princess. You took my monster cock inside you without complaint and you deserve a big fucking reward. I’m going to give you everything,” he moaned into her mouth.

“Is my reward you painting my insides with your cum, babe?” Rowena moaned back as he licked her lips down to her jaw, sucking on her damp flesh.

“Aye but that’s not all. I’ll coat your insides, your outside and much much more after we’re done tonight,” he promised, voice getting gruffer and she could feel his cock stiffening inside her.

He was right at the edge. Using his fingers, he began to rub her g-spot faster, adding his thumb to her clit to make her come again before he could release. He knew exactly how much pressure and speed he needed to apply make her come undone again; her body arched upwards, screaming in carnal pleasure against him while his thrusting became erratic through her pulsating orgasm.

“HOLY SHIT KID PLEASE!!!!”

Tears flowed from her eyes as she squeezed her eyes shut. Her body officially on fire as she came down from her high, finally registered the burning sensation of his cock mercilessly fucking her virgin asshole. Squeezing her walls one final time, Kid let out a mangled roar as he came. He sloppily thrusted a few times, his cum shooting out in ropes deep inside her ass.

Kid was nothing if not a depraved man. Pulling out and while his cock kept pulsing with his release, he stood above her and fisted his length as his cum kept shooting out, landing on her waist, her tits, her jaw and her hair. Rowena watched him with wide eyes as his cock just kept gushing with cum and he gave her a wicked grin. He lowered himself to her pussy, pushing in until his pelvis was flush against hers and she gasped as he thrusted harshly in her, both hands supporting himself upright as he fucked into her.

The last of his cum had spilled out but he pushed through it and kept bucking wildly into her, forcing a final orgasm to wash over him. It didn’t take long as he watched his first load dripping down her body, felt it leaking from her ass as his balls slapped against her throbbing hole. With a final, beast-like roar, he slammed his hips harshly against Rowena and came again.

His cum overfilled Rowena’s core, thick whiteness flowed out of her as she let out a throaty whine while her lover milked himself using her body. With a groan Kid was finally spent and pulled out of her, leaning backwards to admire his work.

Rowena looked completely fucking ruined; her face was flushed red and she her chest was heaving from exertion. Her hair was plastered to her head and body and he could see his cum was already drying and cracking in her hair. His seed on her body was dripping down on his sheets; but the best sight of all – her asshole and pussy both oozing with his cum as both loosened holes leaked profusely.

Kid gently stroked her thick thighs as he steadied his breathing, occasionally dipping a finger into his seed and spreading it on her thighs.

“I wish I could take a picture of you like this, I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life,” he crowed, licking his lips in delight at her squirming underneath him.

Rowena gave him a cheeky smile, “there’s a camera in the chest from when we visited Dressrosa,” her eyes twinkled.

Kid shot up and ran to the chest, finding the desired item. He raced back and stood in front of her, putting his eye in the view finder and pressing the shutter. The polaroid flashed and the picture printed. He also grabbed Rowena a towel and helped wipe her off, laying together in bed as the picture developed.

It came out a little dark but it was otherwise perfect. Rowena was reclining backwards, slightly propped on her elbows with one hand squeezing a breast coated in his cum. She was winking at the camera, her tongue licking her upper lip and teeth with an impish look. The flash of the camera made his cum shine against her body, especially as it oozed from her holes. Kid grinned at the photo before tucking it into his nightstand drawer.

“Best birthday ever,” he hummed, hugging Rowena to his body after he had gently wiped her clean.

“I’m glad,” she giggled, gracing his pecs with sweet kisses.

“Rowena?” he shifted to look into her eyes.

“You’ve made me the happiest man alive. Not just tonight, but practically every night and day since you’ve been on my ship. At first I thought you just annoyed me, then I thought you were using magic against me. After I hated you a bit for giving me so many fucking exciting and conflicting emotions and anxieties and just…joy…I realized I didn’t hate you. Everything I originally thought was wrong. I was falling in love with you and I didn’t know or understand it. And when I did, I acted worse in some ways.”

Kid leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

“I’m sorry for every time I acted like a downright idiot and any time I hurt you, intentionally or not. You don’t deserve an iota of my ire; and as sadistic as I am, I don’t enjoy bringing you pain or making you sad. I can’t fucking stand it. It feels like I’m being stabbed in the heart. I can feel it in the depths of my rotten soul. I don’t want to hurt you. But I might sometimes. I’m your man, I should be lifting you up not dragging you down…I’ll do better. I’ll give you the world and all I want is for you to love me.”

Rowena hummed happily at him, reaching out to hold his mechanical hand. “How could I ever love anyone else? There is no one like you. I was afraid that I misunderstood love, that because I hadn’t experienced it before, I wouldn’t know if what we had was real love. But love is a choice just as much as it’s a feeling. A feeling that sits deep inside me, that stokes the flame in my heart. Through every moment we share, whether in happiness or sadness, will not waver. And to choose love, no matter what. To choose loving you through the things we experience together, separately, for now and all time. I wouldn’t want to change a single moment of our time together, all of it cultivated my love for you. You see me and you see the things I need that I don’t see for myself. You’re the source of my strength. And even though you haven’t told me your whole story yet, the parts of your past that sit so heavily in your mind – I will still love you. Til death do us part, Kid.”

He grinned at her, “Aye, til death do us part,” he mused, suddenly liking the corny phrase a lot more as he leaned down to kiss her. They embraced each other and fell asleep with intertwined limbs, their resting faces remained joyful through the night as they dreamt of each other.

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