#pretty much all I’ve done today is wait for you to message me

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[likeumeanit9497]

just like that | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

based on this request :))

summary: after dating for four months without having sex, y/n finally decides that she's ready to take matt for a ride

warnings: smut; established relationship; unprotected p in v; oral (fem receiving); riding; mentions of questionable consent (NOT with matt dw); dirty talk; 18+

notes: damn i completely forgot about this im so sorry:/ i've just been so busy over the past week or so it completely went under the radar. def not my best work (i wrote it all today), but i wanted to get it up because i'm going on a trip through europe for 6 (SIX???!!?!?!) weeks and will probably not be able to post much when im there. anyways i hope u all enjoy!!

p.s. working on one more fic that i would LOVE to post before i leave tomorrow, if not it might be a while before im able to write again :/ it's gonna be a good one for the matt girlies though so keep ur eyes peeled ;)

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

“Do you want anything from the kitchen baby?” Matt’s soft voice in my ear pulled me from the lull I was in, curled up beside him on the couch watching a movie. My drooping eyes fluttered open and I couldn’t help but smile once I came face-to-face with my beautiful boyfriend. The late-August sun was setting, and it shone through the living room windows in just the way that made Matt’s gorgeous blue eyes almost transparent; a harsh contrast to his dark eyelashes and tidy beard. He was looking at me with such unclouded care, the way he always did, and it never failed to make my heart flutter.

Matt and I had met on social media about six months ago, and started dating just two months after that. Our earliest conversations online had consisted of occasionally discussing our shared interest in pretty embarrassing hobbies — playing Minecraft, journaling, and watching rom-coms to name a few — but those occasional conversations evolved into staying up all night messaging each other, multiple-hour long Facetime calls, and eventually meeting at a restaurant for our first date.

Although it hadn’t been long since we started dating, Matt’s soul was one that I felt like I’ve known all my life. Never before had I felt more at home around another person than I did once I met him, and his presence in my life gave it a new level of stability that didn’t exist before. I had dated a guy in high school for almost two years, but the quality in the time spent with Matt versus him was incomparable. I was sure that Matt was the person that I was meant to be with, and everyday he did something new to prove that to be true without even trying.

Another thing that I loved so much about Matt was that, even after months of dating, he hasn’t once pushed me to have sex with him. In one of our early conversations, I had told him that my ex had always made me feel bad when I would turn down sex with him. While him and I did have sex a few times during our relationship, I had since come to terms with the fact that I really was just doing it to make him happy. Once Matt got over his immediate anger for me, he had sat me down and told me that he could wait forever, but that he won’t have sex with me unless I tell him I’m ready.

That was months ago, and still, he has kept his promise. While we have done plenty of other things in bed, he has always made it a point to stop everything before it gets to the point of sex. At first, I felt riddled with guilt because I felt like I should want to have sex with my boyfriend —especially one so kindhearted as Matt — but over time that guilt has fizzled out from Matt’s reassuring words and actions. He never ever put me in situations that he knew had the potential to make me uncomfortable, and wouldn’t allow me to feel bad about it either.

Lately, though, I had been feeling slightly different. While before, I would squirm at the thought of anything more happening once Matt’s hand would slip out of my panties, now I feel a slight tightening in my stomach at the idea of more. And before, I would feel a certain level of nervousness as I felt the weight of his member in my hand, where now there is a flutter in my core at the thought of that same part of him filling me up.

Never before in my life had I felt any of these feelings, and I didn’t quite know what to do with them. I was afraid of the abundance of dirty thoughts that flooded my own head constantly, and I realized that I was ready for more, but only with Matt. I had been contemplating on telling him this for the past week, but as I watched him walk back over to me on the couch in nothing but baggy grey sweats — the black ink of his tattoos hypnotizing me — my body reacted in such a way that let me know that tonight was the night.

“Here, I know you didn’t say you wanted anything but I grabbed you a water anyways. I haven’t seen you drink any yet today and you-” I cut Matt’s rambling off by climbing on top of his lap as soon as he was back on the couch; wrapping my arms around his neck and planting a deep kiss to his pink lips. He responded with a soft hum against my lips before wrapping his own arms around the small of my back. I opened my mouth slightly before pressing it against his again and moving them in a slow but passionate rhythm. Matt quickly followed suit, slipping his tongue through my parted lips before using it to explore my mouth. I fluttered my eyes open for a brief moment and caught a glimpse of Matt’s most beautiful features up close — lidded eyes, flushed cheeks, straight eyebrows — and released a satisfied sigh against his mouth.

I ran my hands through his soft brown hair, tugging slightly at the ends and eliciting a soft gasp from him as I felt my body flood with arousal. His hands travelled up and down my back, his firm yet somehow delicate touch a comfort that eased my nerves. From my place on his lap, I could feel a growing hardness against my ass. This wasn’t uncommon, obviously, but in the past I usually pretended to ignore it pressing against me. This time however, I rolled my hips up and down, feeling it slide against my aching core. “Baby.” Matt’s voice was barely above a whisper against my lips, but the combination of shock and arousal was still evident in its tone as he grabbed firmly onto my forearms to hold me still.

I detached my mouth from his while still keeping our faces just centimetres apart. His breath was rapid, but so was mine as we stayed like that for a moment; wild eyed and equally uncertain. Finally, I repeated my action by grinding my hips against his clothed shaft; this time watching as his eyes rolled back slightly in pleasure. “Y/n, what are you doing?” He mumbled, clearly wavering between making sure I was okay and wanting desperately for more. I continued grinding my hips against him, my mouth dropping open as I felt his shaft reach my nerves. “I want you Matt.” I whispered, and I watched as his eyes widened in shock; pupils dilated. “What do you mean?” He asked hesitantly, brushing his knuckles softly against my arms.

“I mean, I’m ready. Ready to have sex again.” I blurted out, feeling my face immediately flush in equal parts nervousness and arousal as I waited for him to respond. His face was unreadable as he clearly tried to gauge whether or not I was serious. That was confirmed once he finally spoke. “A-are you sure? I don’t want you to think just because I’m hard we have to do anything, baby.” I felt his dick twitch in between my legs as he spoke, and it shot electricity down my spine. “I know Matt, but I really am sure.” I responded, running my hands up and down his bare chest and leaving a trail of goosebumps in my path.

He continued to stare at me, his eyes travelling wildly across my face; clearly still in a state of uncertainty. I, on the other hand, was growing more and more frustrated by the moment as the heat continued to grow between my legs. “Give me your hand.” I stated, and he obliged; placing his much larger hand in my own. I guided his hand down to the waistband of my sweatpants, inside of the material, and finally slid it against my dripping wet core. Intaking a sharp breath from the contact, I watched his face as it immediately darkened once he felt my arousal coat his fingertips.

“See? I told you I’m ready,” I leaned forward slightly, bringing my lips to his exposed collarbone and kissing it wetly. “So please Matt, can you fuck me?” The room stayed silent for a beat, the only sounds being our ragged breathing, and I felt fear begin to trickle down my spine; worried that Matt might reject me. Just as I was about to retract everything I had just said, Matt’s hand snaked to the back of my head, guiding it up from his chest before crashing his lips onto mine.

I deepened the kiss immediately, feeling a mutual level of desperation like a surge of electricity between our lips that had never been there before. Matt’s hands began traveling all across my writhing body — taking his time on the curves of my ass — before planting firmly on my hips where he helped them grind against his rock hard member. Breathy, almost silent moans fell from both of our lips as our bodies slid against each other, and the deep-rooted sensation was taunting.

Matt’s hands slithered from my hips up to the bottom of my t-shirt, where he toyed with the material for a moment before detaching his lips from mine. “Can I take this off?” He asked, glazed eyes staring longingly into my own. I nodded, and without a moment’s hesitation my vision was blocked for a brief second by Matt peeling the fabric over my head and tossing it to the side. Once my vision returned, my view was of Matt’s hungry eyes glued to my bare chest.

Matt had seen my tits countless times before throughout our relationship, but at this moment it was like he was seeing them for the very first time. Mouth slightly parted, his breathing was ragged as he brought both hands to my chest and cupped my tits delicately between them; pushing them together slightly and brushing a thumb along each nipple. I hissed at the feeling, and that seemed to pull him from his trance, as his eyes immediately shot up to mine. “This okay baby?” He asked, and I nodded my head wildly.

A smirk toyed at the corners of his mouth before he attached it to my left nipple. I released short moans as he sucked and nibbled it gently, still pressing my core against his throbbing shaft. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into a trance that I had never experienced before, and it was like my body and mind had completely separated as I mindlessly tugged desperately at the waistband of his sweats. Catching on to my gesture, Matt shifted slightly below me before using one of his hands to haphazardly pull his sweats down slightly; allowing his cock to spring up in between my legs.

I gasped at the sight before me, only now realizing its true size with it between my legs and feeling just a tinge of excited fear trying to figure out just how it was going to fit inside of me. Shaking the thought from my mind, I collected a pool of saliva in my mouth before spitting it in my hand and bringing it down to his shaft.

Running my thumb along his slit, I felt his whole body shudder below me from the contact. I began pumping my hand up and down his length; spending extra time twisting my wrist around his sensitive tip, and watched as his mouth went slack on my tits. “Mmm, keep doing it just like that baby.” He muttered against my plump skin, and I continued to work his cock in my hand while simultaneously grinding my core against its base. Just knowing that I was making him feel good was making me feel good, and my eyes rolled to the back of my head in pleasure.

After a few short moments, I felt Matt’s hands snake to the waist band of my own sweats. My eyes found his again, and I watched as they searched my face. “You’re sure you want this, Y/n?” He asked, his voice gentle but laced with a huskiness that could only be explained as pure desire. I nodded desperately once again, feeling so pathetic but not capable of giving a shit. “I’m sure baby, please.” My voice had a slight whine to it, making my frantic need even more evident.

Planting a soft kiss to my lips, he grabbed firmly onto my sweats and began peeling them off of my body. I lifted my hips up slightly to assist him in this, and once I dropped them back down, I hissed from the feeling of my bare core against his cock. “Matty, I need you right now.” I practically cried out, leaning my body forward and planting nibbles and kisses along his exposed neck. The suspense was torturous, my body only just now recognizing how badly it was craving his.

His hands cupped my ass, and he used his grip to lift me just a couple inches off of him. I felt him spread me open slightly before dragging a finger once again against my aching folds. “Mmm, so wet for me baby.” I released a breathy moan at the combination of his touch and words, and squirmed in his grasp. “I’ll help you get it in, but I want you on top. That way you can take it as slow as you need to, okay?” His voice softened as he spoke, and his hands massaged me gently causing me to physically relax. “O-okay.” I muttered, so turned on that I was willing to do just about anything he wanted me to.

Just then, he placed a soft kiss to my lips before I felt the very tip of his cock brush against my opening; causing me to gasp. “Shh, it’s okay baby. I’ll go slow.” He whispered in my ear, and I pressed my forehead into the crook of his neck in anticipation. Finally, I felt my walls begin to expand as he pressed the first few inches into me. Moaning at the sensation, I felt my whole body flush in immediate lust. As if they had a mind of their own, my hips subconsciously began lowering onto his shaft; taking more and more of him as I sunk down.

A moan fell from his lips as my walls enveloped him inch by inch, and I slowly lifted my head from his neck and straightened my body up to allow more of him to fill me up. Even though he was big and I hadn’t had a dick in me in a long time, my slick arousal allowed him to bottom out without causing me to feel any pain; only indescribable pleasure. Once every inch of him was in me, I stayed still for a moment looking down at him. His desire was plastered across every inch of his face, and it made him look impossibly beautiful. There was no fear in me in that moment, only want, and so I began riding him.

As soon as I propelled my body up and down his shaft just once, I felt a pit of arousal begin to grow in my stomach. Groaning in pleasure, I continued with my moments; holding onto his shoulders to keep my trembling body stable. “Mmm you feel so good baby.” Matt moaned out, his eyes never leaving my pinched face. After a while, my body adjusted completely to his size and I was able to increase my speed. As I slid my walls up and down his shaft, Matt gripped onto my ass with all his might, using his hands to help me maintain my speed.

Moans fell from my lips as his cock ruthlessly hit my g-spot, and I felt my lower stomach build in pressure. “Fuck.” I muttered under my breath, feeling my skin go flush from the heat of the moment. The room filled with the echo of our wet skin slapping against each other, adding to the erotic air around us. Prolonged strings of moans fell aimlessly from my lips, and as I came closer and closer to my impending climax I began struggling to maintain my movements.

Matt seemed to pick up on this, as he adjusted his hips and began pounding into me from below; his hands holding me in place where I just clung onto him for dear life. “F-fuck Matty, like that. S-so good.” I cried out, my voice choppy from his rapid movements. My brain melted into a pool of liquid as all I could think about was reaching my high that was just out of reach. “You’re taking me so good baby.” Matt groaned out as he continued driving his length into me, staring deeply into my eyes with a fogged over expression.

“I-I think I’m gonna — oh god, think I’m g-gonna cum Matt.” My eyes rolled to the back of my head and I dug my nails into his shoulder blades, struggling to give into this new overwhelming sensation bubbling up inside of me. At this, a guttural moan fell from his lips and he somehow increased the speed of his thrusts even more. “Want you to cum around me baby, please.” There was a desperate whine to his voice as he spoke through his shortness of breath, and it was enough for me to reach my climax. Legs shaking, I released a plethora of moans and curses as my body was hit with multiple waves of indescribable pleasure. “Good girl, feels so good honey.” Matt’s voice was soft in my ear, and it helped to bring me back to earth as my hurricane of an orgasm left my body in shambles.

I continued to bounce on Matt’s dick slowly as I attempted to regain what little composure I had before my orgasm stole it from me, but I quickly learned that all of my energy had been stripped away. My body was trembling uncontrollably, and my head was filled with a fog that made it difficult for me to stay upright. Matt caught on to this, as he planted his hands firmly on my hips, keeping me still, before reaching forward and kissing me deeply. “You tired, baby?” He asked gently, rubbing circles on my sensitive skin. Sheepishly, I nodded, and Matt didn’t hesitate before guiding me off of his lap and helping me lay down on the couch.

As soon as my head hit the soft material, I felt my body immediately begin to relax again. I watched from my place on the couch as Matt began to slowly crawl over to me, before leaning above me. “You did so good baby,” He brought his lips to my chest and began dropping soft kisses against my skin, “Now,” His mouth travelled from my chest down to my stomach, “I want you to just lay here and relax,” He continued to move his lips down my stomach to my hips, “Let me make you feel good, okay?” His face was now hovering above my swollen heat, and I couldn’t help but nod frantically, feeling a sudden need to have his mouth on me.

Matt situated his body so that he could lay down with his face still just above my core. He brought both of his hands to my folds and I flinched as he used his thumbs to spread them apart slightly; exposing my bundle of nerves to the air. My vision partially skewed by his hair flopping in front of his eyes, I watched in awe as he brought his mouth closer and closer to where I needed it the most; before immediately gasping in pleasure once I felt his warm tongue make contact with my clit.

Immediately, Matt got to work in swirling his tongue in expert circles on my overstimulated nerves. This sensation in combination with his rough beard against my inner thighs was so intense it was almost painful in the best way possible, and I was incapable of controlling the throaty moans that fell from my lips as I watched him devour me entirely. Matt then used his mouth to suck on my nerves, bringing forward yet another new sensation that drove me crazy. It felt so unbelievably good, my hands flew to his hair where I held firmly; doing everything in my power to keep him in place. “Oh yeah baby, please, just like that.” I struggled to get the words out through my constant gasps of pleasure, but it was clear that they didn’t fall on deaf ears as Matt moaned in pleasured acknowledgement against my heat and kept his rhythm and pressure the exact same.

Feeling another orgasm begin to bear its teeth in my stomach, it was like my hips grew a mind of their own because as soon as Matt brought his hands under my ass to lift me slightly up on the couch; I began grinding my heat against his eager mouth. “Fuck.” He moaned against my clit as he continued to greedily suck and lick my nerves. I squeezed my eyes shut as a whine escaped my lips from an approaching orgasm, the pleasure that his mouth was giving me was too much. “S-stop baby.” I said suddenly, to which he immediately detached his mouth from me and I watched as his eyes scanned my fucked out face. “What’s wrong? You want to stop?” He seemed so concerned, clearly worried that he had somehow crossed a boundary, and it caused my chest to flutter. “N-no. It’s just, I was gonna cum again.” He raised a quizzical eyebrow, clearly confused by how that might be a problem. “I…I want to cum with you.” I finally said, and watched as his facial expression changed from one of concern back to one filled with lust.

He smiled quickly before dragging his body up my own, planting occasional kisses along my body on his way. Once he reached my head, he immediately began kissing me passionately, slipping his tongue through my parted lips and allowing me to taste myself on his mouth. Pulling away, I noticed my arousal laced throughout his beard, and that along with his pink swollen lips fresh off of my heat was enough to make my head spin. Just then, I felt him line his shaft up with my entrance, and immediately gasped out when he slid it in completely. Before moving at all, Matt took a moment to gaze down at my destroyed face before grabbing my legs and wrapping them around his waist. He then leaned forward and propped himself on his forearms on either side of my head; slipping a hand through my hair and grabbing onto it gently.

After noticing my body relax, he finally began thrusting into me. Starting off slow and deep, he gradually increased his speed until he was pounding his inches deep into me at a rapid pace. Already being close to cumming, I struggled to get a grip on my thoughts as the pleasure of the moment pulled me deeper and deeper into a world of euphoria. “You’re so tight sweetheart.” He muttered through his grunts, and I felt my eyes roll to the back of my head at his words. “F-feels so good Matty.” I managed to reply, tightening my legs around his waist as I tried everything I could to hold off my orgasm.

Matt’s hand snaked through my hair before he grabbed onto my cheek, brushing it gently with his thumb as he stared at me with a gaze so intense that it was almost intimidating. “I-I’m close Y/n.” He nearly whispered, and I felt his pace begin to slow slightly as he began to be overtaken by his own orgasm. My eyebrows knitted together as I felt my walls began to break. “M-me too.” I replied, wrapping my hands tightly around his biceps to keep me grounded. “Ah fuck, I’m cumming baby.” His erotic words were followed by a string of animalistic grunts as he drove his cock in and out of me — slow but hard — and it was like my body was waiting to hear those words as my second orgasm immediately ran through me like a freight train.

My breathy moans harmonized with his deep ones, and I felt my walls contract around his shaft; milking his dick as it painted them white. My legs were wrapped so tightly around his waist, he was barely able to move them as we both rode the waves of our intense pleasure. As my orgasm continued to tear through me, my back arched off of the couch and my body trembled. From above me, Matt watched me writhe in bliss as his movements completely stopped. As I finally began coming down from my high, I felt his hand brush through my hair affectionately, and watched as his face turned up in a smile before he placed a deep kiss to my lips.

He gently pulled his cock out of me, causing me to wince from the raw pain, before laying beside me on the couch and pulling me into him. Face to face, we stared lovingly at each other for a moment; my mind still spinning from how good he had made me feel, and in that moment I was worried that my heart might explode. His blissed expression told me that he was feeling the same, and his hand delicately rubbing the small of my back confirmed it. “Are you okay?” He finally asked, minor concern visible on his beautiful face. “I’m more than okay.” I answered honestly with a chuckle, causing him to laugh in relief as well. “I think I actually love sex.” I continued, causing him to really laugh this time before planting a kiss on my sweat-beaded forehead. “Well I think I actually love you.”

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

[rafeysbambii]

hypnosis : s2!rafe has to handle some guys that were talking down on his bambi.

warnings : lots of cursing, rafe beats a group of guys up, a little nsfw at the end (not a lot but soon!)

story type : fic / drabble !

a/n : i’ve reached 280 followers! this is so mind blowing to me, thank you all so much for all of the support! i’m so glad you guys are enjoying these! i love you all so very much! and also, bambi calling rafe ‘my hunter’ is canon and i won’t be told otherwise.🤍

(you get it cause she’s the deer and he’s the hunter.. yeah.)

rafe loved bambi, but of course he wouldn’t admit it (even though it’s painfully obvious) out loud to anyone besides her. and that ladies and gentlemen is the reason why he spoils to the fuck out of her, new shoes, new clothes, trips to the zoo to see her weird looking animals, and even getting her little beetle car wrapped in a pretty light brown per her mention.

and he’d be damned if anyone were to disrespect him or his girl.

well today was like any other friday for the almost couple, bambi has driven to the country club to meet rafe so she could watch him play some rounds of golf - or mostly for the free drinks and watching his muscles flex with each swing.. but who’s business other than hers is that?

and also like usual, rafe had some work to do and ordered bambi to meet him at the country club, get a little flute of champagne to keep herself occupied, and just kick back and wait for him to arrive.

and she would’ve done just that…

if she didn’t hear a group of guys laughing obnoxiously at her and rafe’s table. but here’s the kick, she heard rafe’s name flow so effortlessly out of their mouths. “ — right, man i’m telling you, she’s hot as fuck, rafe is a lucky man but shit is she making him soft.. i mean i asked him if he could grab me some stardust, and you know what he told me?”

“he told me ‘i don’t do that shit anymore, don’t want my bambi getting involved with that.’ he’s pussy whipped!” she had heard about ‘stardust’, but of course rafe had told her ‘not to worry her pretty little head about it’, “man that pussy must be magical, cause you can’t catch me quitin that shit for a quiet bitch. he needs to go back to fuckin’ the girls with the big tits and never gave a fuck!”

that’s what really set bambi off, what made the tears flow from her big bug eyes, what made her run out of the country club and into her small car, and before she can even start it up, she’s violently sobbing into her hands to the lowered sound of ‘Picture you’ by Chappell Roan (queen mama.)

yet even with her favorite music artist playing in the back, she can’t help but tune it out on her drive all the way back to her home in tanneyhill, just a few blocks down from rafes house where he’s probably still finishing up his work, but she can’t help but not pay attention to it - or the fact that he’ll probably blow up her phone within seconds of arriving at the country club.

and her prediction was right, once she’s already rushed into her house, took off her cute checkered dress, white sweater and uggs that rafe had bought her, her phone was blowing up with messages from rafe, but she knew his friends were right, she’s soft… she’s holding rafe back, and now she knows.

from ; my hunter🤍

i’m here baby.

i ordered you that red drink with the cherry and red shit.

don’t remember what it’s called lmfao.

where are you?

???

hello?

bambi?

where are you bambi?

seen just now

she watches with ease as the texts bombard her phone, yet she clicks the electronic closed, leaving rafe worried that something had happened to her on the drive to the country club. but she doesn’t really care, she wants to be left in her solitude with her tears.

bambi is sleeping peacefully when shes suddenly awoken by a warm pair of hands rubbing at her back, but she doesn’t move an inch - who the hell is inside of her house? “bambi? there you are kid,” oh, she recognizes the voice — it’s her favorite if she’s gonna be honest, rafe.

“hm..” she hums softly, “where the hell have you been bambi? was waitin’ for you.” he slides into the bed, even after she shrugs her shoulders “what’s goin’ on with you bambi?” - she doesn’t have an answer for him, which makes her feel sick to her stomach — she wants to tell him, she really does, but she just can’t find the words.

“i’m not good enough for you… i-im…” that sentence alone makes rafes heart quiver, “what the — the hell are you talkin’ about bambi? why the fuck are you sayin’ that shit?” he grabs her chin, forcing her eyes on his blues - and he feels absolutely defeated when he sees the red, puffy doe eyes that add to her features.

“i heard some boys at the country club talking… t-the guys you play golf with that one night…” rafe already knew where this was going, and he wasn’t happy about it.

at all.

“and they said that i made you soft… and that my pussy must be magical and that’s the only reason you’re with me…” his heart shatters into a zillion little pieces when the words leave her words, how could anyone ever say that about her? someone so sweet, and caring? “that’s… that’s not true baby, you know that.”

“i don’t rafe… they’re right — im not like the girls you’ve had before, they’re more..confident, a-and pretty. i’m just… me.” rafe is holding every physical bone in his body not to storm over to the country club and beat them all to a pulp. “listen to me bambi.” he takes her face in his hands, his signet ring cold against her skin - but she doesn’t seem to care when he’s looking at her like she’s the only girl in his eyes (she is.)

“you’re everything i want honey, i never would’ve talked to you if i didn’t think you were interesting, i love you, you. not any of the other girls before you. you’re perfect bambi, and i won’t let anyone tell you otherwise. and yeah, they’re right — that pussy is magical.”

“rafey! don’t say it like that!” she slaps his chest as they both laugh together - peace, they’re at peace. “wait…” she pauses, looking up at rafe once he pulls her into his lap, “you… you love me?” rafe simply looks up at her, leaning forward to kiss at her neck softly, “yeah bambi, i love you.”

“so does that mean… i’m your girlfriend?” rafe is confused for a minute, “i thought we were already dating bambi.”

a beat of silence rains over the two.

“you never asked me rafey! how was i supposed to know!” her well manicured nails, courtesy of rafe - scratching at the back of his head, she loves rafe, a lot.. and up until this moment, she was completely under the impression that they weren’t in a relationship..

although they do, do a lot of couple things… like rafe decorating the passenger seat of his truck to bambi’s liking, or — or whenever she’s cramping, he brings her a strawberry milkshake from the shady diner in the cut that he absolutely hates going to, but for his bambi - he’ll walk to hell and back if she asked.

so… maybe she did kinda know.. but that’s not the point!

“fine then bambi, will you make me the happiest and luckiest man alive and be my girl?” for a moment, there’s a beat of silence between the two, before bambi is suddenly crying. “shit baby - didn’t mean to make ya cry angel face.” of course, he’s quick to wipe the tears and catch her lips in his, loving the feeling of her trying to catch up with him.

“yes rafey! yes i’ll be your girlfriend!” she exclaims in between wet kisses, the lock to their newfound relationship —. “good cause i wasn’t takin no for an answer.” he’s quick to lean forward, kissing her plump pink lips with an exaggerated smack “now i can kiss you as boyfriend and girlfriend, no more friendly kisses.” the both smile like innocent children as bambi curls into his side, exhausted with the days she had (she woke up, got her nails done, and then went home and took a nap before going to the country club.)

“go to sleep my bambi, i’ll be right next to you in the morning honey.” he doesn’t even realize she’s already asleep until her nose is gently twitching cutely, a small habit he picked up on over the few months - he absolutely adores it, and he adores her, and now..

it’s time to find the dicks who made his girl cry.

the country club is getting emptier and emptier by the minute as the women getting tipsy with their girlfriends, and the men chugging down beers while golfing exit to return back to their homes in tanneyhill. but rafe, is just getting started.

hes immediately identifying the group of guys who made his bambi cry - some tall, bulky and not hot guys. psshh, this would be easy for him. “sup man.” he says as he approaches the group, placing a hand on one of their shoulders in a super non threatening way. “what’s up rafe! yo pogue, get my friend a drink!” rafe stops the guy; by the name of Jordan before he can call the pogue waitress over.

“nah nah, i’m not here to drink fucker.” rafe licks over his lips, his blood practically bubbling over through his seething anger. “i’m gonna tell you this once and you’re gonna fuckin listen yeah?” rafe says, grabbing jordan by the collar and lifting him right off of his chair. “you ever fuckin talk about my bambi like that again and i’ll sew your mouth shut. she may not be crazy but i am.”

rafe drops the shaking guy right into the glossy tile grounds of the country club, flicking the rest off as he turns away — making sure to whisper a snarky remark under his breath.

and the entire ride back to bambi’s, he can’t help but grin wildly because he knows bambi doesn’t know how truly crazy he is — and how willing he is to kill anyone who crosses her without her even knowing it.

a / n : hello there! i’m sorry for taking such a long leave, i’ve been going through some stuff but this is my apology! i hope you enjoyed this, and ill be getting into more writing!

[blushy-tigerrr]

story time with tiger!

so, as you know from my post earlier, i was blessed to be able to spend the past six days with @applesyaboi :3 it has truly been the time of my life getting to hang out with this lovely human for so long, and as i’m writing this post while waiting in the airport to fly back home, i already miss him so much.

the whole story is under the cut if you’re interested in reading, but before we get into that, we did make content :3 but i will be waiting to share them as a celebration for reaching 400 followers as i am only 10 away from that amazing milestone!

anyway, here’s the story <3

let’s start at the beginning: may 30th. apples and i had been chatting and becoming very close friends for about a month when we really started talking about the idea of us meeting up and spending some time together. we had talked about it in a hypothetical sense a bunch, but this was when the actual planning happened. we both determined that august would be the best month, and we then decided on august 8th-13th! it worked out really nicely with my job and him moving into his own apartment a little bit before then. shortly after that, i bought my ticket on june 8th.

and then the waiting began.

let me tell you, that was the roughest part, second only to having to leave today. i went through some really tough stuff during that waiting period, and apples was constantly there as a support system for me through anything and everything. that made me all the more excited to get to see him and thank him in person for how much he had done for me.

after a very long 60 days of waiting, the day finally came. i got to the airport ridiculously early in the morning and boarded my plane with little issue. luckily for me, apples was awake when i was on the plane waiting to take off, so we got to chat for a little the morning of! and it was mostly just “AHHH OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING!!!” messages hehe

once my plane landed, i got my bag and waited at the exit for him to pick me up. once i saw his car pull up, my heart dropped in the best way. when i saw his face through the car window, my heart started pounding and i almost was scared to move, but this silly goose made a little beckoning motion to me and i broke out of that easily. when we hugged for the first time, i felt all of my stress melt out of my body completely. he gives some of the best hugs ever <3 and that was just the first of many

we were both a little nervous still on our drive to his place, but the nerves dissipated pretty quickly. we got to his apartment, i got to meet his cat, and then we laid down to snuggle for a bit. we were snuggled with the intent on taking a nap, but i’m sure no one is surprised to know that’s not what happened right away. he had his hand on my side and asked if i minded if he tickled me a little bit, and i told him i didn’t mind of course. he was so sweet and gentle and showered me with compliments the entire time. he’s very good at making me feel beautiful and loved and also very good at tickling oh my god he’s so teasy and constantly got me so flustered

then, because i’m a switchy little shit, i asked him the same question. he said it was okay, and guys. for as teasy of a ler as apples is, he is also soooo ticklish!! he’s super squirmy and flinchy, and his giggles are some of the cutest that i’ve ever heard <3 he told me a while ago he had never been tickled before, so i did my best to be very gentle and careful with not pushing it too far by checking in and making sure he was still having fun and was okay. he did the very same thing for me, and i greatly appreciated it.

we also tried out a few tools while i was there! none of them worked on him (scam) except for the pursonic, but that only worked in one spot for him. for me, though? that thing is the devil. it tickles so badly in just about every spot you can think of. i think apples is just broken lol <3 we also tried feathers and makeup brushes which were suuuuper effective on spots like my ears and neck and behind the knee (mean), but all of that was incredibly fun!

of course, that’s not all we did in those six days although it was majority. we also went out for food a few times, went to a sports game, and went on multiple walks around the area. however, i think the only thing we may have done more than tickle each other was snuggle together. and that? was so nice. like i said before, he made me feel so comfortable so quickly, and because of that, we were able to be so snuggly the entire time which i know we were both very grateful for.

as i’m sitting at my gate writing this all out, it’s really sinking in how much fun this all was for me and how lovely it was to have a break from regular life for a while. it was definitely very needed for both of us. apples, thank you so so much for having me these past six days. you’ve truly made me happier and more relaxed than i’ve been in an incredibly long time. it’s been so lovely to get to laugh with you and snuggle with you and just be around you for this time. thank you for being so sweet and loving and kind and understanding, and thank you for being one of the best friends that i have ever had in my entire life. i love you so so much /p <3

[1d1195]

Traditional X

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

We are getting to the end of what I believe is the main storyline here. Maybe one or two more parts but I already have at least three little extras lined up in my head too.

Additionally, I added in the days because it was kind of getting all over the place and I wanted to make sure the timeline wasn't too confusing--especially since we're winding down on days until the internship is over. I hope it doesn't detract from the story. Also, another reminder I don't know anything about running a business.

This part has some minor character death/trauma mentioned, sensitive topics, grief, angst, and I may or may not have cried a bit while writing, so that should put it in perspective I think. Try not to hate me at the end I don't think you're going to like it. Thank you, thank you, thank you for continuing to read.

Just wanted to hear your voice, kitten. Didn’t get to see you much today other than tea. Get some sleep, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love.

So now she texted him: I’m awake now if you want to hear my voice.

The phone rang almost instantly. “Hi,” she whispered.

“S’like music,” he said sleepily. She giggled. “That’s a symphony,” he murmured.

Friday

Louis and Eleanor were lying on her couch (and one another) while she lay on the rug in front of the coffee table, facing the TV. Her phone vibrated with a message from Harry.

Can we chat sometime today?

That sounds like a terrible way to break up with me. Don’t tell your other girls that.

Don’t be ridiculous, kitten. All of it.

I’ll call you when Louis and El leave.

I’ll be waiting impatiently.

“Must be Harry. She definitely doesn’t smile at Niall’s messages like that,” Louis chuckled.

She rolled her eyes and tilted her head back to her friends. They were watching a movie trying to decide where to eat or if they should order in. It was a regular, run of the mill day. They worked their Friday shifts and now they were lying about her pretty apartment that she hardly felt she’d been spending any time in. Mondays of course were still dinner out with Harry, Thursdays were movie nights at his place (and with any luck something a bit cheekier, now), and she spent many Saturday nights at his place sleeping beside him until one in the morning where they spoke quietly, candidly about anything. In the morning, she woke up to a rotation of pancakes, waffles, or French toast.

And kisses.

She woke up to a ton of kisses.

So, this Friday evening, she spent with Louis and Eleanor watching a movie that was so trashy it was wonderful. “How’s the job search?” Louis asked.

She frowned. The one sore spot that seemed to get sorer each passing day. “I really thought interning at Styles Incorporated was going to give me a leg up,” she sighed. “I don’t know... I’ve applied to some top places and they’ve either passed or ghosted me. Maybe I need to lower my standards.”

“Absolutely not,” Eleanor said immediately. “You deserve the top. You deserve it all,” she said.

Smiling, she looked at Eleanor, snuggled under Louis who was draped across her lap, and he winked at her. “You deserve the very best, babe,” he told her.

She shrugged and let out a sad sigh. “I don’t think these places think I do though,” she mumbled. “But it’s fine...I... I don’t know... I’ll figure it out. I’m not going to let it stop me now. Another month and I’ll be done.”

There was a pause. “Speaking of,” Louis began. “I’m told your program does in fact, have a graduation ceremony.”

She blinked surprised by the idea as if she didn’t already know. “What?”

“Harry told me that of course your college has one and you—”

She only vaguely heard the end of Louis’ sentence. She was feeling...anger? Anger at Harry? It didn’t seem like that was a reasonable conclusion. She had never been mad at him in the eight months she had known him. But her chest started to ache, and her blood felt hot, and she didn’t want to be mad at Harry, but she was sad he betrayed her trust in what she told him at one in the morning. Even if it was a silly little thing like making sure she had people at her graduation ceremony. She shook her head. “I’m not walking,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to.”

“Love, you worked so hard!” Eleanor gasped. “Please! It would mean so much to us to see you do it. We want you to have that.”

While the kindness and the meaningfulness of their words was not lost on her, she was serious in what she told Harry. But maybe she left out the part that she didn’t want to walk across the stage because it would remind her of the last graduation ceremony she attended. The last time she remembered a big happy family memory. “When did Harry tell you?” She asked quietly.

“He didn’t know for sure when it was...He was probing around, I think, because he might be trying to get you something,” Eleanor said so excitedly she was practically clapping. “Oh, I bet it’s going to be amazing whatever he gets you.”

“We weren’t that surprised, but we told him that you weren’t walking because there wasn’t a ceremony...and he told us there most assuredly was—which did surprise us. Most interns went in the past, so what’s the scoop on that, love?” Louis smirked, throwing a piece of popcorn at her. It caught in her hair. “Lying to your best friends?”

She didn’t feel like rehashing all the sad details and explaining why she didn’t want to go. “I just didn’t want it to be a big deal,” she shrugged as casually as she possibly could. She should have just told them, but she didn’t want it to be a thing.

However, Louis sensed there was more to her hiding it, immediately. It was why he was her best friend. But he didn’t press. Maybe he would later when he could get her alone. Every once in a while, he managed to pick up on something in her voice that said something of her past was coming through. “Hmm,” he hummed. “Well, that’s fine. We’d still like to go. A couple pictures and that’s it. Then dinner. Nothing else. I won’t even get you a card to commemorate the day.”

“Oh, I’m getting you a card,” Eleanor nodded fiercely. “Gonna write you the mushiest proud letter there is to write,” she smiled wrinkling her nose at her.

So, how could she say no to them? They loved her so wholly it really was unfair to exclude them after their endless support. Sighing, she shook her head. “It’s Saturday, the 14th,” she rolled her eyes. Both pulled out their phones and tapped rapidly putting it in their calendars.

“Good,” Louis smiled. “Now let’s go get dinner,” he said kissing Eleanor on his way off her lap and helping her up as he nearly ran for the door all in one movement. Eleanor rolled his eyes.

“You picked him,” she reminded El. “In high school too,” she shook her head and wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“I know, aren’t I lucky?” El said with a mocking dreamy tone in her voice but she meant it. It was obvious on her face, and she loved that about Eleanor most of all. Letting Louis be himself, unapologetically. Louis was the very best and she was glad someone else saw it too. Eleanor squeezed her arm and followed him. She took a second to take in the moment. She couldn’t help but smile so completely happy with her life for the first time in a very long while.

*

She woke up at some point in the night by herself on the comfiest mattress she ever owned all thanks to Harry. She peered through two of the slats on the blinds of her window to get a better estimate of the time without having to look at her phone in hopes of falling back asleep in a few moments. It was still pitch-black out, save for the moon illuminating the sky.

After tossing and turning for nearly five minutes without drifting off quickly, she decided she may as well make good use of her time. She grabbed for her phone. As expected, the clock told her that if they were sharing a bed, it was time to have her nightly chat with Harry.

When she came back from dinner and before she fell asleep this evening, she told Harry she was a bit tired. She would call, of course. But she might drift off while talking.

Just wanted to hear your voice, kitten. Didn’t get to see you much today other than tea. Get some sleep, of course. I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well, love.

So now she texted him. I’m awake now if you want to hear my voice.

The phone rang almost instantly. “Hi,” she whispered.

“S’like music,” he said sleepily. She giggled. “That’s a symphony,” he murmured.

Her heart was bursting. “Yeah?”

“M-hmm.”

“Did I wake you?”

“Yes,” he said simply. She frowned. But it was like he knew she was frowning, because he continued, putting her mind at ease. “I would probably wake up from a coma t’hear your voice.”

She was so close to saying she loved him out loud. How could she not? But how would she be any different than any intern or companion before her? She was determined to wait until it was over. Until he stopped paying her and then she could at least tell him. So he knew and he could...decide if she was worth it. “Did you have a good day?” She whispered instead.

He yawned and she heard the rustling of his sheets. Sitting up against his fluffy pillows, she assumed. “S’alright,” it sounded as if he were shrugging it off. “I was in a crummy mood all morning.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she wished she went into his office earlier to see how she could have helped.

“Not something y’could have helped with, beautiful,” he had a smirk in his voice. It left her breathless that he could tell how she was feeling without seeing her. “Before y’worry.”

“Me? Worry?”

He chuckled that beautiful breathy laugh of his. She imagined his dimples, his glittering eyes. “Mmm...”

It was quiet for a moment and since he wanted to hear her talk, she thought she may as well get it out of the way. “So...” she sighed. “Louis and Eleanor found out about my graduation ceremony actually happening somehow...and they’re making me go.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, which told her he already knew that they had found out because of him. “I think y’should go, love.”

“I know. I’m going to.”

He sighed with relief. “That’s good.”

“If...” she swallowed awkwardly hating how she was even asking in the first place. “If you wanted to come...I think I get a ton of tickets...it is a Saturday so you wouldn’t miss wor—”

“Kitten, of course m’going t’be there,” he promised. “I’d sell m’company t’be there for you.”

She scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’d sell it t’Niall, maybe. But I’d still sell it.”

She giggled. “Do you think Niall would want to come, too?”

“Yes, absolutely. We wouldn’t miss it.”

She clutched the phone tighter to her ear enjoying the sound of Harry at the other end. The irritation she felt was only a nagging little bite on the inside of her head that she pushed away. Because really, this whole month had to be the most, and totally, happiest she had been in years.

*

Saturday/Sunday

“I blame myself for my brother’s death,” she said it softly. She didn’t even ask if he was awake. Either she somehow knew, or she wasn’t looking for him to answer. Harry frowned, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. It was a sudden comment, but it was the middle of the night. It was what they did.

“I don’t think that’s possible, kitten.”

“I went to some stupid school party. I didn’t want to get in the car with the person offering a ride home. So, he came to pick me up, no questions asked. Not a care in the world that it was almost two in the morning,” she shrugged against him. “A car hit us,” she said simply. It was silent for a minute. Harry hardly moved. “He must have seen it coming before I did... because he turned...so his side of the car took the brunt of the hit.” He squeezed her. “I tried to pull him out. Begged him to breathe,” she shook her head. “It was awful,” her voice cracked. Harry couldn’t imagine what she had seen. Couldn’t imagine what it took for her to get in the car. No wonder she walked everywhere.

“Y’don’t have t’tell me, love,” he told her, and he meant it. That was plenty. He could fill in the gaps if it meant she didn’t have to relive it again. He was sure she relived it every day.

“It’s why my parents hate me.”

Harry sucked his lip into his mouth. “They shouldn’t,” he fully believed that. He may not have judged them for the way they grieved but they lost one child in that accident. It easily could have been two and yet somehow, they chose to lose them both even though she was right there, alive and in need of love more than ever.

Harry wouldn’t say it to her now, but he would think part of his heart would feel like it was missing if she had been lost all those years ago. Whether he knew her or not.

“Sometimes I think they’re right to,” she sniffled. “I’d hate me, too. He was the best,” she whispered shakily.

“Kitten.”

He loved the dark and their little chats every day since they started. Today, he hated it. It was too revealing. This was hurting her. And he hated that most. “I should have died.”

“Thank God, you didn’t.”

“It’s not fair,” she whispered. How many times had she said it to herself, her therapist, to Louis of all people? The only person who consoled her and not her parents...the only person who needed to be consoled as much as her was Louis. As he was breaking down, he was trying to keep her together. It wasn’t fair at all.

“No,” Harry shook his head. “It’s not.”

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

More silence. “I told you the dark is revealing.”

He smirked sadly. He wished he could tell her something just as revealing. But telling her he loved her so wholly when they weren’t in a relationship, not an actual one, after she was grieving for a moment in time, didn’t seem right. Harry wanted to tell her it was easy. Easy to love her. It was effortless having her in his life. He wanted to reveal something of equal weight. If only so she wouldn’t be sad. “I like getting t’know you,” he said instead.

“Even though I’m the reason someone died?”

He shook his head and gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Someone else made a dumb decision, love. Of course, your brother would come t’help you. I’d do the same for Gem,” he promised. “S’in the brother handbook.”

“Louis said the same thing...he has a bunch of younger sisters...and me.”

“Louis would still do it for you, too; I’m sure.” They were silent again. He thought she fell asleep. Sometimes she would do that. So, he asked the question that had been burning in his mind forever. “I don’t want t’pry...What happened with your parents...after that?”

She shook her head. “Maybe another middle of the night talk. Not this one,” she mumbled.

He nodded. “Yeah, of course, love.”

“Thank you for...everything Harry. Really,” she yawned and nuzzled closer to his chest.

“Course, love,” he repeated and let her fall asleep beside him peacefully.

*

Wednesday

There was yelling from the other side of the door as she knocked, then immediately entered his office with tea. Right as she opened the door, he slammed the phone down to his desk. Then picked it back up and slammed it three more times into the receiver. She blinked and cringed with each hit. He slid a hand over his face and turned to face the window. Part of her thought he didn’t register she was in the room.

“Harry,” she said softly.

He shook his head. “Love, please jus’ leave the tea and go,” he grumbled. “M’gonna snap and I don’t want it t’be at you,” he sounded infuriated. Interns never seemed to work out because of his anger... She knew Niall worked hard to keep her away from Harry’s outbursts. Mostly because Niall knew Harry would never forgive himself if he ever broke her heart or scared her because of his job. But she still knew the stories. The whispers in the breakroom and by the copier about his anger weren’t something she could ignore. Sometimes Harry’s angry tone filled the whole floor. She bit her lip at his warning and nodded silently.

After she set the tea on his desk, she sat on the couch across the room. She sipped at her drink watching him tap on his phone screen searching for something. He turned back around after a moment looking at his computer and then she saw his eyes flicker over to her. “I know I told you t’leave,” his voice was icy. But she saw his gaze soften just a hair.

She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to set him off or make him any angrier than he already was. She was content to sit there...just wanted to wait there in case he needed her because that’s what she did. Even if he was going to pretend that she wasn’t there.

His phone was ringing from the other end while he called someone. “I need the file we looked at this morning...” A pause and she watched him clench his fist and he squeezed his eyes shut angrily. “Well, I don’t have it!” he snapped slamming his fist on the desk. “If I had it, I wouldn’t have called! Can’t you just do what I fucking ask and bring—"

She hurried to his computer after he slammed his fist down. Not caring even a little, when he hardly moved out of her way and continued yelling at the poor person at the other end of the line. The words he snarled into the phone didn’t reach her ears. With three clicks and a few taps it was on his screen. She stepped out of his way and sat back on the couch waiting for the next mini blowup. He put his phone down again as his eyes scanned the screen. He grumbled about something unintelligible under his breath and he tapped on his phone screen again and brought it to his ear for all of five seconds.

“Come here,” he said into his phone.

Within moments, Niall was there. He frowned seeing Harry’s anger but managed a quick wink at the sweet girl sitting quietly on the couch. She sipped her coffee while Niall went behind Harry’s desk. He looked at the screen for a few moments and she saw his face falter a bit; he rubbed his hand on the back of his head. “Well, we knew this was coming.”

Harry turned away and paced to the other end of the room. Hands on the back of his head. Niall scrolled on his screen and sighed. He glanced at her. She hadn’t taken her eyes off the pair of them since Niall stood next to Harry. “C’mere,” he said to her. She hurried back over. He pointed to several itemized lines and murmured a few things that she only had a vague understanding of due to her limited understanding of things that happened here at Styles Incorporated solely because in the grand scheme of things, she hadn’t been there that long, and she was just an intern.

She looked at the numbers, pursed her lips in concentration and did her best to calculate quickly. “Can you shrink this number?” She asked, pointing at the screen.

He glanced at Harry who looked ready to jump out the window. His head pressed to the glass taking deep, angry breaths. “No, darling.”

“How about this one?” She pointed to a different cell. He shook his head again. She looked over at Harry who was clearly distraught. Sighing, she thought for a few quiet breaths and Niall frowned as he scrolled. She thought back to all her classes, every lecture, and every assignment she had ever worked on. Unfortunately, she came to only one conclusion.

“You can have them file for bankruptcy,” she shrugged.

Niall pushed her behind him as soon as the beginning of that b-word left her mouth. Harry hated that word. At the same time, Harry spun rapidly, took three long strides, and menacingly glared through Niall in her direction. “Are you fucking serious?” He hissed but he was staring so angrily at Niall, but the expression was really meant for her. She gulped audibly. This had to have been the nightmarish things that previous interns spoke about. It made her stomach churn and she thought she might throw up. God bless Niall for standing in her way—she knew Harry wouldn’t resort to physical violence. Not even a little. She felt it in her soul. But part of her wondered if it would hurt less than his cutting, angry voice.

No wonder Niall never let her be around Harry when he was mad. This was terrifying.

“Harry—” Niall started.

She blinked in surprise at how angry he got. At her. But he did warn her. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. “I am not having them file,” he growled.

Her face definitely turned red, and she swallowed nervously. “It’s your only option,” she whispered standing her ground anyway. He flung the cordless keyboard across the room. It smashed into the wall and many of the keys fluttered off in a heap against the wall. She flinched at the sound as he paced back to that side of the room.

“Darling, kindly shut it,” Niall whispered over his shoulder.

Harry paced and paced. Niall was still standing in front of her protectively as Harry grumbled to himself trying to make sense of it. “Why?” He practically barked at her. “Why’s it my only option?”

She took a deep breath. “The legal fees would equate to more than the bankruptcy payback.” He stopped pacing and turned to look at her. Niall even turned around and stared at her in surprise. “What?” She felt like this was a worse thing to say than bankruptcy. Niall stepped from in front of her and used the mouse to click through different screens on the computer, it took a moment because he no longer had a keyboard. He glanced at Harry and nodded.

Harry took a deep breath. “Can y’please explain that for me, love?” His voice was still tight with anger but at least he wasn’t barking at her or throwing things.

So, she did her best to explain that she remembered this once case she studied in her quantitative decision-making class. How it was expensive but kept the company afloat to file for a chapter of bankruptcy that allowed them to pay back the debt and keep going on if they could make it a few years. “She’s right...” Niall said clicking on the computer and gesturing to the screen. “Obviously,” he muttered under her breath.

Harry looked at the screen. While they did, she did some calculations on her phone. “So, they keep their assets?” He asked, looking up at her from the screen while Niall searched something on his phone to show Harry.

She nodded. “As long as they make this much,” she said and held her phone up to the two men.

Niall smirked. “I like her,” he said knowingly.

Harry sighed, still embittered. “Can you go buy me a new keyboard, love?” He asked.

Feeling like she had finally made a difference and helped a bit, she grabbed her coffee and nodded. “Sure,” she said softly.

“Don’t spend your own money on it either,” Harry said knowingly without looking up at her. She smirked to herself and left his office before she could say any more wrong things.

*

Since it was a Wednesday, she hadn’t seen Harry outside the office for two days. After getting the new keyboard and plugging it in, Harry was swamped for the remainder of the day. Lawyers, Niall, and others kept filing in and out of his office. At five in the evening, when most everyone was leaving, they were still coming and going. Niall hadn’t seen her in hours while she sat at her desk sending him files, answering calls, and taking messages. She knocked on the door before entering, carrying five or so pizzas and an assortment of drinks. Niall was the only one who noticed.

He winked at her, mouthed thank you, and watched as she left.

It was another hour before Harry noticed he was eating pizza...with pineapple on the slice. “Who got this?” He muttered.

“That cute intern of Niall’s,” one of the lawyers said.

“That’s your intern Niall? I’d be begging for her to alleviate the stress—”

“I wouldn’t finish that sentence if I were you,” Niall said calmly. Harry was glad he had a bite of pizza in his mouth and Niall interrupted that sentence before it finished. After the day Harry had he wasn’t sure he had much self-control left to not physically attack someone—especially on behalf of her.

How did he not notice the sweet girl bringing pizza? He was certain even if the room was on fire, he would still take the time to notice her. He frowned. He had no idea she did this.

“I think this is enough for tonight, Mr. Styles,” someone said after hours of being there. Harry hadn’t looked at the time in ages. Since before lunch at least. He was only vaguely aware that it was after one at some point only because she brought his daily tea. He nodded silently, still upset about the day but also that he had no idea the perfect girl was there.

“You screamed at her, y’know,” Niall said condensing the pizza boxes. Placing the empty ones by the trashcan for the maintainers to take care of. After everyone left. Harry was helping clean up as well and packing his things.

Harry tended to get a little fuzzy on his consciousness when he was mad. “I told her to leave.”

“You’re stupid for thinking she would,” he rolled his eyes. “She’s quite brilliant,” Niall said knowingly. “When are you going to offer her a job?”

“It’s complicated,” he remarked. “I think if I create a job for her, people...will get suspicious.”

“Who cares?”

Harry worked extremely hard to get Styles Incorporated where it was so quickly. You didn’t become a thirty under thirty member without working hard. In all that time, Harry made every decision he could to the best of his ability. He always wondered if he made mistakes. He loved this company. It was his pride and joy.

The idea of losing pieces of it broke his heart. Since it happened twice within the last three months, and she managed to save both those pieces from falling to the wayside...

She seemed to know how much he loved his job, his legacy. He didn’t like her idea all that much today, even if it was good or his only option. Even when he yelled at her and snarled like she wasn’t the most special person he knew. She still voiced her opinion, and he knew that had to have been hard for her.

It hurt him to think of failing in even one little branch. But he couldn’t argue with her that it was the best option he had for this moment. “This was a brilliant idea,” one of the lawyers said as they typed furiously on their laptop. It was hours after the lovely girl left the new keyboard on his desk. Harry didn’t respond with anything but one little nod. “We should keep this in mind...would have saved you some money a few years ago,” she remarked with a gentle smile.

Niall saying “who cares” suddenly sparked something in him. Why did he care? She was brilliant. He didn’t have to convince anyone of that. It was obvious when she walked into any room, took a passing glance at whatever document they were discussing, any graph they were looking at and she casually pointed out inconsistencies and almost always managed to save him money.

“Have the other interns been like her?” He asked quietly. He had been so closed off, so worried about the reasons they were truly there... The thought of that horrible woman who made comments to the sweet girl about sleeping with him... Harry would feel terrible if he was so cynical about the entire intern process if a quarter of them were as smart as her.

Niall smiled at his best friend. The relief flooded him before Niall even spoke. “Harry, I don’t think there’s anyone like her.”

*

The knock on her door surprised her. She thought it might be Louis or Eleanor who couldn’t be bothered to walk the last five blocks back to their place after a late-night dinner. It was nearing ten and she was snuggled up on the couch with her book and music playing on the TV.

Harry was leaning against the opposite wall as she opened the door. “Oh, hi,” she said softly.

Harry stayed where he was, and he smiled at her, tiredly. “You’re so cute,” he mumbled.

She glanced down at her pajamas. A mismatching pair of shorts and a tank top. One sock on because only the left one was cold. Harry looked tired but beautiful as ever. His button-down sleeves rolled up to his elbows, tucked into his dress pants. The tie he had been wearing all day was gone, the button at his neck undone. His hair looked as if he ran his hand through it a few too many times but his tiredness seemed most evident on his face.

“Come in,” she said opening the door wider. “Do you need something to eat or drink?” She asked.

“No... had the pizza y’got us,” he murmured finding his way to the couch, he folded the corner of the page where she was reading and set the book on the coffee table. He waited for her to sit beside him and once she did, his head was in her lap. “M’sorry I screamed at you. Y’didn’t deserve that.”

“I knew you didn’t mean it,” she threaded her fingers through his hair and lightly rubbed at his scalp. “Is it all taken care of?”

“Thanks t’you,” he mumbled. She smiled softly, grateful she could ease his anger and allow him to sleep. She didn’t say anything for a bit and soon enough he was asleep in her lap. She reached for her book and read for the better part of an hour while he snored gently into her leg.

When an hour had passed, she gently pulled herself out from his head and began undressing him down to his boxers. It took effort but once he was mostly naked, she tugged him off the couch holding him up as much as she could with his tall frame to drop him into her bed. She curled up to him, grateful for the extra night with him. The first one at her place, at that.

The moon was bright even through the closed blinds, making his skin practically glow as she faced his sleeping figure. His arm beneath her pillow outstretched so she fit neatly beneath his chin if she was close enough. Their legs twisted together, his much longer than hers.

She was quiet for a bit, tracing the sparrows tattooed just below his collarbones. “They stopped talking to me,” she whispered. It wasn’t quite the standard middle of the night, but it was pressing on her mind because it was rapidly approaching the seven-year anniversary of that horrible day and it hurt so freshly, so sharply. Like it was only a week ago. She wasn’t sure Harry was even awake, but she said it anyway...maybe it was better he didn’t hear anyway. “Except for when they had too much to drink. Then they just yelled and yelled. At each other, at me...” she swallowed the pain down. “If I didn’t go out, he wouldn’t have gone to get me. We would still be a family...he was their prince,” she explained.

Her fingers drifted over his arm that rested gently with his hand at her hip. She traced the heart tattoo, the rose, and then the anchor at his wrist. “They stopped caring about me, but I couldn’t stop caring about them. I made dinner for them even if they didn’t always eat. If they did, they complained about it. I stopped eating with them. We didn’t watch movies together on Sunday evenings. We didn’t celebrate Christmas. Part of me thinks they only kept me there because they knew deep down, I was still a minor and they had to—I could ruin their lives worse by reporting them...” she bit her lip. “I don’t even think I would do that... At some point... they were the only people that ever took care of me... but then they just stopped and honestly, I don’t blame them.”

Harry didn’t make any note that he could hear but she kept going anyway. “So, I started taking care of everyone I crossed paths with...” she paused for a moment just to see if anything registered on Harry’s mind. It didn’t seem like it. But it made it easier for her to tell the story.

“When I turned 18, I invited Louis over to help me. I didn’t say with what. But the second he saw my parents...the ones that didn’t love me anymore... Louis moved me into his place... I felt so horrible, but I actually asked him to stay there just until... until I left for university at the end of the summer. He looked... betrayed. Like I let him down... He gave me the lecture of the century and Eleanor just braided my hair while he did. They made my favorite food. Neither of them said Happy Birthday once and I didn’t even care because for even just one day someone was taking care of me again,” she had done well up to this point not crying.

She sniffled and shook her head. She reached up and outlined Harry’s eyebrows, the shape of his nose. The curve of his lips and the jawline that ached her to the core. “Louis doesn’t talk about it, but I know he saw more than I ever wanted him to. I know he resents the way I hid. I think part of him wished I still lived with him. He insisted I stay the summers I came home from university,” she told the sleeping figure.

“But I got a boyfriend part way through university. We moved in quickly. Of course, I took care of him... and I didn’t mind. I liked it. He liked it. He was easy... food, sex, cleaning...” she mumbled. “But I still went to visit my parents because I couldn’t help it. I’ve never told Louis that. I didn’t tell my therapist that either...I’m sure she would be mad. And you know, I still go twice a month without telling anyone. Well, except you now... I don’t know why... I don’t know... I couldn’t leave them...they...they have to be in there still, right? The people that threw me princess birthday parties and put Band-Aids on my knees after a fall on my bike? Even after...after all of it...they’re my parents somewhere in there. Every time I go it’s just...yelling and hating me. I clean, make sure there’s food in the fridge, and then I leave,” Harry didn’t answer her. “I was supposed to stay the night at a hotel because I was supposed to move some of the last of my things...but it was a bad day. I just wanted to go home... I guess I got the sex part right with him,” she said with a smirk but without humor in her voice. “Just...not with me. Guess I didn’t do a good job there either,” she sighed sadly. “So... There it is. They just...acted as if I died too.”

Harry didn’t move a muscle. She smiled softly and kissed his cheek. “I think that’s everything,” she whispered. “I think you know everything now,” she told him. “Good night, baby,” she whispered tucking herself against his chest.

There was no movement for at least a full minute and then his arms came around her so tightly, he squeezed her like he was trying to press all the broken pieces back together. “You’re so lovely,” he murmured. “Don’t forget that,” he pressed his lips to her temple and she closed her eyes tight trying to keep the tears from spilling over like a waterfall. “S’great t’know you,” he squeezed her again. “S’an honor t’know y’care ‘bout me,” he mumbled to her.

She nodded her head in recognition that she had heard him but if she spoke, she would either cry or, worse, tell him she loved him. So, she sighed deeply against his chest and slowly fell asleep while he pressed another kiss to her forehead. Like he was trying to heal her from the outside in just by kissing the front of her tired, sad brain.

Part of her thought that with Harry it might work.

*

Next Wednesday

Harry was going to lose his mind. When he started the day, he was so excited that he finally had good news for the sweet girl and was excited about their future. He couldn’t wait to surprise her during their movie night the following day, at home snuggled on the comfy couch.

Instead, he was totally blindsided by the fourth of the same type of phone call of that same day.

The call started out the same as all the other ones he’d been getting. They introduced themselves. “Aye, Harry. Zayn. How are you?”

Harry blinked in surprise at the voice at the other end. Zayn was CEO of his own company, located a few towns over called Malik Industries. Rarely did they interact with one another because their clientele was very different. But every so often at big black-tie shin digs and philanthropic events they’d run into one another. In this business, it was all about networking. He was hoping he wouldn’t get this call only because Zayn was closest to his age... which was closer to her age... “Right, good. Yourself?”

“Great. Listen, I’ll make this quick, I know you’re a busy guy. I have an application in front of me and it lists you and Niall as references, and I’m used to seeing Niall’s name... but I had to ask you. You never give your name as a reference.” His heart stopped because he could only guess who the application belonged to.

She applied here too?

“Harry?” He asked. “Did I lose you?”

“Uh...” he shook his head trying to regain his composure. He was absolutely confused. She didn’t say anything about applying to any of these places and this was the fourth phone call he had to sit through with an aching heart. “No, sorry. Untimely email,” he muttered quickly. He wasn’t even facing his computer.

“Right, I understand. I’ll keep it short... you think she would be good here?”

His breath caught in his throat. She would be good anywhere. But the idea of not seeing her smiling face each afternoon carrying tea in her hands to his office (not that she would continue to have to do that if she worked here full time) was the last thing Harry wanted. “Uh...yeah, she...she would be great.”

There was a pause and a short chuckle. “I know you don’t usually do these reference calls, but there’s usually a bit more than that.”

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat trying to get the words to spill out. How could he tell her she was perfect? How could he just give her away? He wanted her there all the time in every facet of his life. She made everything better. “I know, I know,” Harry shook his head again in an attempt to get his verbal processing to work again. “She’s perfect. She can do anything. Fit in anywhere. If she doesn’t know how t’do something, she’ll figure it out. Brilliant. Truly. It’s cutthroat out there and she still manages t’be an angel. Doesn’t even bat an eye in the face of adversity. She’ll keep morale up by decorating for holidays and she makes the best chocolate chip cookies I’ve ever had.”

“See that’s what—”

“You can’t have her,” Harry interrupted flatly.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought she applied because there—”

“Yes. No. I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “She did apply. She would be perfect. You can’t question that. Seriously. Y’would probably hand her the keys t’your office if she joined y’in any capacity. I want t’do that somedays...but I want t’keep her here.”

“I see,” Zayn sounded agreeable. “She sounds quite special. Her recommendations, her transcript, everything is incredible. She seems like a wonderful asset Harry. Are you sure you have room for her?”

He prickled at the notion that he wouldn’t make room for her. “Yes,” he said definitively.

“Alright. Well, good for you. I hope she’s happy there. I’ll take her application any time in the future if you see a reason she needs to go elsewhere.”

Harry didn’t see it happening ever. “Sorry t’disappoint.”

“Not a problem at all. You know a good one when you see them, I get it. Have a good one,” the call ended abruptly. As if on cue, she knocked and opened his door at quarter past the hour. Clockwork. She closed the door quickly.

“Hi baby,” she winked as she whispered the pet name at him. “Brought your tea. And I got us some cake pops. I think they’re yummy. Maybe we could try to make them from scratch this weekend.”

There is no way she could just go. His heart fluttered at her words, and he smiled. He felt the ache in his chest melting away as it always did when she was around while he was upset. “Whatever you want, kitten.”

Harry didn’t tell her about the good news during movie night. He was too upset about all the phone calls.

He didn’t tell her while they were making cake Pops on that Saturday either.

*

When she chose to just exist that weekend a couple months ago, and not remember anything that happened over her horrible couple of days and not think about her parents, she did catch up with Louis and Eleanor that following Tuesday. Harry watched from her kitchen as the pair of them cooed over her and she let some tears fall.

“Your mum’s not having a memorial,” Eleanor told her. So that was that. It was over.

“Oh,” she said like it was a surprise.

Louis glanced at Eleanor and pursed his lips. She combed her hair back and gave her another hug while Louis pressed his hand to her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Louis glanced at Harry and shrugged. Harry thought that meant her mum wasn’t having a memorial that she could attend. It hardened Harry’s heart while he set some mugs of tea on her counter out for the three of them.

The lawyers managed to get some information about her inheritance. The house was already in a trust under her name. “Harry, we’re grasping a bit at straws here. We don’t practice family law,” he reminded him during their next movie night.

“I know, I know. M’sorry,” he said rubbing the back of his neck while he watched from the kitchen as the girl swayed quietly on the porch swing. At the end of February, she was still insistent on sitting in the freezing cold. “I jus’ want t’make sure she’s taken care of.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think this woman cares,” he said bluntly.

Harry frowned and ended the phone call before heading to the swing with mugs of hot chocolate. She lifted the blanket, a beanie hat almost falling into her eyes as he slid in beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder and for the moment Harry just let her live knowing that as long as she stayed here, she was cared for.

Which is why he was so happy when the lawyers finally informed him that she would have the house... eventually. The life insurance policy was never changed out of her name, and it wasn’t like they could change it now. All of it was something that could ease the ache of the worry she had.

Harry attended the memorial service, too, a week or so after that. He told her and Niall he was attending to business out of town. Niall looked at him suspiciously and he felt bad lying to the sweet girl but he...he wanted to...well he didn’t even know what he wanted. He just wanted to know what her parents were like.  There were many people there. He was surprised that they still had friends after cutting off their sweet daughter. But Harry was trying his best not to judge their mourning.

He saw Louis and Eleanor there gently consoling her mother without it truly reaching their eyes. Louis saw Harry at the edge of the mourners at the cemetery, he gave him a succinct nod and then tilted his head discreetly to the right.

When everyone left, he headed to where Louis gestured, totally alone.

He read the dates on the stone, did the math, and he sighed. “I’ll do anything for her,” he knelt and pulled some weeds away from the flowers laid there. Quietly to her brother’s grave, he whispered “I promise.”

*

Monday

Now seemed like it was too late to tell her anything about the good news. She had seemed off all evening. Maybe it was the stress of graduation and her internship. The office had been so busy lately they hardly had a moment to have tea in the afternoon.

It was his own fault, however. When all said and done.

Now, he was walking her home from dinner. Well, actually, he was nearly running after her. She refused to get in the car. Despite how late it was. So, Harry followed her on foot. She was fast, even in the little heels she wore. The driver was close behind on their trail as well.

“I didn’t ask for you to do that!” She snapped at him. She never snapped at him. Not once. And there were plenty of times she could have over the last eight and a half months. But he thought he was being helpful. Figuring out the stuff with her mum, finding a way to finally split Niall’s position. All of it.

He thought things were going so well and even with the end of her internship coming up at the end of the next month, he was so hopeful for their future in so many ways. He didn’t really know what went wrong. He kept the conversation light trying to figure out her slightly soured mood. It didn’t seem completely fair, but he was heartbroken that he made her upset.

But it was the email that was the final straw. She received it in the middle of dinner. Mr. Malik stated there must have been miscommunication as she would be staying with Styles Incorporated. He would love to have her, feel free to apply in the future if so needed, but of course, she should stay where she’s comfortable.

Harry was in mid-conversation with the waiter, ordering dessert. Something she was reallylooking forward to when she read through the email. But the second she finished it she was angry and didn’t want dessert. She called Niall quickly, while Harry was still chatting, holding one finger up as she put her phone to her ear.

He winked at her, continuing his conversation and didn’t mind at all whether she was using her phone nor questioning it. He’d done so many times before and she was always so kind and patient about it. If he did question it, so shortly after the email, maybe he would have seen it coming. But he didn’t...he didn’t see it coming at all. “Did you...talk to Mr. Malik?” She asked him when Niall answered.

“No, darling, I haven’t heard from him or...or anyone yet about your applic—”

“Never mind,” she hung up. The second she uttered the name of another company Harry’s voice died in the conversation he was having, and he directed his attention to her.

“Did you?” She asked, point blank.

“Yes,” he said. “I told him you would be a perfect fit.”

She blinked. “Then why does he think I’m staying at Styles Incorporated?”

Harry frowned. “Don’t you want to?”

She wasn’t going to lie. “I mean...yes...but don’t you think you should have told me you were going to hire me before—”

“I just figured—"

“Harry...I’ve been rejected or ghosted from everywhere I applied to. I’ve been crying to Niall so stressed and anxious that I’m not good enough and—have you been telling everyone in the area?”

“You’ve been crying about—?”

“Harry,” she snapped.

He was surprised by her tone. “Of course...I want t’keep you,” he whispered.

“Well, what if I can’t,” her voice cracked, her hand fiddling with her silverware on the plate.

“What are y’talking about? Of course, y’can,” he said quickly reaching across the table for her hand but she pulled it back. “Kitten.”

“I don’t want dessert,” she said and stood up and marched out of the restaurant. He hurried to throw money on the table and follow after her.

When they made it to her apartment building, she was huffing. She was angry the entire way there not listening to Harry call after her, not stopping even though he begged. Harry felt like he was losing her with every step. When they reached her door, he tried again to console her as best he could. “Love, I just wanted to hel—”

“I know you feel entitled to everything I am and do because of what we are, but I didn’t ask you to do any of that! Stay out of my business.”

“Kitten,” Harry felt crushed, like she stole all the air out of her lungs.

“I know you told Louis and Eleanor about my graduation ceremony, and I let it slide... because part of me is hoping they forget that it’s in two weeks because right now, I don’t want to go. It hurts to think about my brother’s ceremony—the last time we were a family. And I know you had your lawyers talking to my mom because she called me today all up and arms about how I’m selfish to even take what she’s giving me and of course I hadn’t a clue what she was talking about. I thought it was a prank,” Harry was silent as he listened. “I know you have your driver follow me around whenever I’m out walking. Not even at night,” still quiet. But he dropped his gaze to the floor for a moment before looking back up at her. It did sound controlling when she was so angry. “On top of all that, I hadn’t gotten any notice about my student loans so I called my servicer to inquire. And guess what?”

Harry’s lips pressed together. He didn’t say a word. Because of course he already knew why she didn’t get any info about her loans. “Now this? Harry, I’ve worked my butt off to do this on my own and you just...told every company within a twenty-mile radius that I’m staying, and I didn’t even get to know that I could do it on my own? That all my hard work and all those hard things I had to face on my own just meant nothing? I thought I failed so miserably.” She was crying so hard, and she wished she wasn’t but every time she felt anger coursing through her it was an unfortunate consequence. Harry just wanted to console her and make it stop. He felt so terrible.

Every day she showed up to work and made everyone’s life so much easier. She baked brownies for the breakroom, made copies for anyone that asked because she was the only one who could stop it from jamming, and of course she went out every day, snow, sleet, hail, or rain to get himself and Niall their Starbucks order. She took care of him when he was sick and saved such a large chunk of his company, he could never repay her. All he wanted to do was help her the way she helped everyone else.

“Love,” he whispered reaching for her. She stepped out of his way.

“Just go,” she snapped as she slammed the door shut in his face. His heart felt broken, but he couldn’t think of anything to say. Because as always, she was right. He just...did everything for her because he could. Really because he wanted to, but he should have at least asked.

He could hear the sniffles and her tears through the door. He waited a minute listening to her gasping breath hoping something in his head would click. Something would appear in his mind that he could say to her. But in times like this, it was usually her that knew what to do. So of course, he couldn’t ask her. As he turned to leave, he heard her croaked voice whispering Louis’ name into the phone.

--

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[tealin]

McMurdo Internet

Internet service is supplied to Antarctica via a geostationary satellite. This far south, the satellite is only a few degrees above the horizon, and unfortunately for McMurdo, it's behind Mt Erebus. So the signal is beamed to a receiver on Black Island, about 20 miles away to the southwest, and bounced over to the sheltered alcove at the end of the Hut Point Peninsula where McMurdo sits.

The Chalet, administrative hub, with Black Island in the distance

The Black Island telecommunications infrastructure was installed in the 1980s, long before the internet we know and love today. It was upgraded in 2010 to allow more data transfer, mainly realtime weather data to feed into global forecast models. For this reason, it's probably the only place I've ever been where upload speed is remarkably faster than download speed – 60Mbps for outbound traffic, but only 20Mbps for inbound. Most regular internet use is receiving, not sending, so that's an entire base running on a connection that's only marginally faster than the average American smartphone. As you can imagine, this is somewhat limiting.

The limits to one's internet access actually begin before one even reaches the Ice. At the orientation in Christchurch, one is directed to a URL from which one must download and install a security programme from the U.S. government. It may feel like a hippie commune full of nerds, but McMurdo is an installation of the American state, and as such its computer network is a target of whatever disgruntled conspiracy theorist decides to hack The Man on any given day. Computers that are allowed onto this network (such as the one on which I am typing right now) have to have an approved firewall and antivirus service installed, then this extra programme on top of them. I am not sure what it does. For all I know the CIA is spying on me even now. (Hi, guys!) But you need to install it to get on the McMurdo Internet, such as it is, so I did.

To be honest, I was rather looking forward to a month cut off entirely from the hyperconnected world, so I was a tiny bit disappointed that quite a lot of day-to-day communication is done by email, and I would need to be on my computer a fair bit to get it. Had I known just how important email would be, I'd have installed an email client that actually downloads one's messages instead of just fetching them; as it was, the cycle of loading an email and sending the reply, even in Gmail's "HTML for slow connections" mode, took about five minutes, not counting the time it took to write. Tending one's email was a serious time commitment; sometimes I felt like I was spending more time on the computer in Antarctica than I did at home.

Crary scientists waiting, and waiting, and waiting

In a way, though, I was lucky, because I was technically a scientist and therefore had access to the one building on base with WiFi, the Crary Lab. And don't think you can just waltz into Crary with your laptop and poach the WiFi – in order to access it at all, you have to get set up by Crary IT with your own personal WiFi login. If you do not have Crary access, your portal to the Internet is one of a handful of ethernet cables in each of the dorm common rooms, or some public terminals in the main building. You can hop on, download your emails, maybe check the news or Google something you needed to look up, and then leave it for someone else. When most online time sinks are either blocked or too heavy to load, it’s amazing how little internet time you actually turn out to need.

Things that we have come to take for granted in The World are not a part of McMurdo life. Social media is pretty much out – the main platforms are bandwidth hogs even before you try to load a video or an animated GIF. There is no sharing of YouTube links, and no Netflix and chill. Someone was once sent home mid-season for trying to download a movie. Video calls with family and friends? Forget it. People do occasionally do video calls from Antarctica, often to media outlets or schools, but these have to be booked in advance so as to have the requisite bandwidth reserved. Jumping on FaceTime does not happen – not least because handheld devices have to be in airplane mode at all times for security reasons. Your phone might be secure enough for your internet banking, but not for US government internet!

It is, unavoidably, still a digital environment, it just gets by largely without internet access. Nearly everyone has an external hard drive, mostly for media that they've brought down to fill their off hours. If you want to share files you just swap hard drives, or hand over a memory stick. When the Antarctic Heritage Trust wanted some book material from me, I dropped it onto an SD card and ran it over to Scott Base on foot – a droll juxtaposition of high- and low-tech, not to mention a good excuse for a hike over The Gap on a beautiful day. It took half an hour, but was still faster than emailing it.

There is also a McMurdo Intranet, which includes a server for file sharing. Emailing someone your photos will take ages, but popping them into a folder on the I: drive and sending them a note to say you've done so (or, better yet, phoning them, or poking your head into their office) is much more efficient. To conserve space, this informal server partition is wiped every week, so you have to be quick about it, but it's an effective workaround, and also a good way to get relatively heavy resources to a large number of people in one go.

The telecommunications centre on Black Island is mostly automated, but like anything – perhaps more than some things, given the conditions – it needs to be maintained. There is a small hut out there for an equally small team of electricians and IT engineers; Black Island duty attracts the sort of person who might have been a lighthouse keeper back in the day.

Towards the end of my time on the Ice there was a spell where they needed to shut off the connection overnight, to do some necessary work. Given that most people's workdays extended at least to the shutoff time at 5:30 p.m., this meant essentially no internet for a large portion of the population, and some amusing flyers were posted up to notify everyone of the impending hardship.

Someday, faster, more accessible internet will come to Antarctica.  It's more or less unavoidable, as communications technology improves, and everyone's work – especially the scientists' – depends more and more on having a broadband connection at all times.  It will make a lot of things more convenient, and will make the long separation from friends and family much easier.  But I'm pretty sure that many more people will mourn the upgrade than celebrate it.  One can, theoretically, curtail one's internet use whenever one likes, but even before the pandemic it was almost impossible to live this way with the demands of modern life: I know from personal experience that opting out of Facebook alone can have a real detrimental effect on relationships, even with people one sees in the flesh fairly regularly, simply because everyone assumes that is how everyone else communicates.  Being in a community where no one has access to assumed channels, and is more or less cut off from the rest of the world in a pocket universe of its own, levels the playing field and brings a certain unity.  The planned (and, unarguably, necessary) updating of the physical infrastructure of McMurdo will wipe out a lot of the improvised, make-do-and-mend character of the place; how much would free and easy access to the online world change it in a less tangible way?

I'm sure the genuine Antarctic old-timers would shake their heads at the phone and email connections we have now, and say that no, this has already ruined Antarctica.  It's not Antarctica unless your only link to the outside world is a dodgy radio.  It's not Antarctica unless you only get mail once a year when the relief ship arrives.  Doubtless the shiny new McMurdo will be seen as 'the good old days' by someone, someday, too.  Change may happen slower there than elsewhere, but just like the rust on the tins at Cape Evans, it comes eventually, regardless. 

For my own part, I'm glad I got to see 'old' McMurdo, such as it was, all plywood and cheap '90s prefab.  The update will be much more efficient, and tidy, but yet another generation removed from the raw experience of the old explorers.  My generation is probably the last to remember clearly what life was like before ubiquitous broadband; to some extent, Antarctica is a sort of time capsule of that world, just as the huts are a time capsule of Edwardian frontier life.  I hope they'll find a way to hang on to the positive aspects of that. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to waste an hour mindlessly refreshing Twitter ...

If you'd like to learn more about the Black Island facility, there's a lot of good information (and some photos!) here: https://www.southpolestation.com/trivia/90s/blackisland.html

And this Antarctic Sunarticle goes into greater depth on the 2010 upgrade: https://antarcticsun.usap.gov/features/2114/

[friendly-witcher]

Damn

just a small spencer x gn reader (I think, tell me if I missed something) ficlet about the first time you see him in his FBI vest. inspo was all the tiktok edits 🔥

word count: <1k

warnings: implied sexual themes set in the finale of season 7. bank heist + bomb threat with Lady X. established relationship with reader, who is a misc. scientist at the Smithsonian (yes I watched too much bones). this is a no maeve zone.

if you like this, I might write a few more with them :)

please be kind, my writing is my own, I do not own these characters.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your boyfriend is hot, you’ve been well aware of this since the day you bumped into him in the hallway of your apartment building and every day since then. He’s tall, handsome, and has perpetually tousled hair, to say nothing of the fact that he is the smartest person you’ve ever met. He looks like a sexy professor straight out of a romance novel, yet somehow has no idea how gorgeous he is. All of this being said, you were not prepared to see him in your office wearing his usual dress shirt, tie, and his FBI bullet proof vest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ An hour or two before ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spencer had rushed to the scene after a bomb went off in the bank. He had sent you a brief text saying that he was fine, not to worry, and that he was heading into the city. This was the first time since you had been dating that a high profile case had been this close to home. So while you were used to being worried, this worry felt so much more immediate as you watched the chaos unfold only a mile or two away. 

You stayed in your office trying to concentrate on tables and graphs, but your eyes kept drifting to the news live-stream in the corner of your screen. You heard a quiet knock on the door and looked up to see your colleague Renee eyeing you with concern. 

“Lover Boy is on the scene isn’t he?” She asked, grimacing. 

You nodded, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears that threatened to form. 

Renee perched on your desk and took your hand. “He’s a highly trained FBI genius, he’s going to be ok.” You nodded again, rubbing your face in exasperation. “Let’s go and make a tea.” Pulling you from your desk. You resisted, motioning to the screen. “Watching isn’t going to help him, it’s only going to make you more stressed.” 

“I’m bringing my phone.” You grumbled as you followed Renee to the kitchen. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Emily and Will walked out of Union Station, battered but unscathed, Spencer let out the breath he felt he had been holding in since Will had walked into that bank. 

“We’re ok, we’re ok.” Emily held out her hands as you all rushed towards her. 

“Thanks to Miss Calm and Collected here.” Drawled Will, looking at Emily with a mix of gratitude and disbelief. "She defused a bomb in under two minutes without breaking a sweat."

“Well done. Both of you.” Hotch looked them both over approvingly. “You two go get checked out. I’ve got to debrief with Strauss then we are good to head out.” 

Everyone nodded in agreement, patting each other on the back and inspecting their wounds. Spencer hung back and looked at his phone, “Actually guys, I have to go check on something…” not meeting any of their curious gazes, “I’ll catch up with you guys later. If that’s ok?” 

Hotch nodded, dismissing him. “Good work today.”

“Catch you later, Pretty Boy.” Derek winked at him and turned to walk away. 

Spencer looked back down at his phone at the message, “Please be careful, I love you.” You had never said that before. He had suspected that you did love him for a while, but this was the first irrefutable evidence. He smiled and started towards where he knew you would be waiting. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While Spencer often dropped you outside work or met you nearby for lunch, he had never actually been to your office. He came through the doors slightly out of breath, “Do you know where I would find Dr Y/N L/N’s office?” 

As he strode through the corridors of the Smithsonian Institute trying to find your office he noticed he was drawing quite a few stares. Ignoring this, he finally reached your door. Where he found you with your head resting on your arms, a forgotten cup of tea beside you. 

He knocked on the door gently and you started to say, “Renee I’m fi- ” until you finally looked up and saw Spencer standing in the doorway. Your face broke into a smile, “Spencer!” 

Your eyes raked over him as he approached, unscathed, and damn. You had thought the men-in-uniform thing was a joke but looking at Spencer now you got it, picking your jaw off the ground you barrelled into his arms. 

“Are you all right?” He asked, turning your face to examine your features. 

“I’m fine. I’m fine now,” squeezing him tighter and smiling up at him. He looked at you amused and curious. 

“What was that face? Was it about the text?” Concern marring his beautiful face. 

“Honey, no! I meant that…I just…” you blushed, “I’ve never seen you in this…” your hands tracing across his chest adorned with the letters ‘FBI’. 

“I did get a lot of funny looks walking over here,” his brow furrowed, “I’m sorry I should have taken it off. I just wanted to see you and forgot.” He shook his head, admonishing himself. 

Looking up at him you continued trying to stifle a giggle, “Spencer, you sweet beautiful genius,” you said as you cupped his face, “They weren’t looking at you funny. You look, how should I put it, smoking hot. Like an actual real life superhero.”

It was his turn to blush and he tried to disagree with you, but met with your adoring gaze he stayed quiet and grinned. He gently pressed his lips to yours then met your eyes, “By the way, I love you too.” You kissed him again, smiling. 

“Come on, let me take you home.” He picked up your bag and extended a hand to you. 

“Yes please, Dr FBI agent.” Taking his hand and smirking at him. 

“So I should wear the vest more often?” He asked innocently.

“Definitely.” 

[wososage]

I don't need a babysitter: USWNT x Reader

Request: hi! i really appreciate your fanfics, they honestly make me super happy and give me something relaxing to do especially with stressful school season. I was hoping you could write something, like “It’s Not a Big Deal: USWNT x Reader” but like the r sneaks out during camp and everyone but especially carli gets worried and angry that r didn’t tell anyone where she was and scolds r and they make r room with carli so they can keep a eye on r?

Word count: 1936

A/N: I changed this a little bit to better fit with the current team. 

(Y/N) POV

I ride my board around town just taking in the scenery. It is such a nice day. The sun is out, there is a slight breeze, perfect conditions for riding my board. The only issue is I am not supposed to be boarding right now. The training staff isn’t too fond of me boarding so much because ‘my body is still developing and it makes my muscle growth disproportionate’. I am also supposed to be doing my school work during our break in between training sessions. But that is boring and will still be there for me to do later. I’ve been gone for about an hour and there is no way the team hasn’t noticed yet. There is some hope of being able to sneak back into the hotel but not much. 

By the time I get back to the hotel, my phone has been blown up by everyone and most of the vets are waiting for me in the lobby. I try my best to sneak past them, but Pinoe sees me.

“Where have you been Y/n?” she asks. 

“Out,” I say shrugging. I try to walk to the elevator but she grabs my arm and guides me to the conference room with the rest of the vets.

“Where have you been?” she asks again, this time clearly not happy with me. 

“I was riding my board around town,” I say, making it known I am annoyed with the situation.

“You know you aren’t allowed to leave the hotel without one of us knowing where you are going,” Pinoe scolds. “On top of that, you broke the rule about answering phone calls and texts messages. You are supposed to be doing your school work right now.”

“I don’t care,” I say with a raised voice. ���I didn’t want to do my school work today. I just wanted to ride around town.”

“Don’t raise your voice,” Kelley reprimands. “These rules aren’t in place to make camp horrible and boring. They exist to help you balance everything in your life and keep you safe.”

“Whatever,” I say. “I don’t want to talk about this right now, I need to go get ready for training.”

“Y/n, we are not done with this conversation,” Kelley says, raising her voice.

“I don’t need a babysitter!” I yell to everyone in the room.

I leave the room pretty quickly even though multiple people called after me and I take the stairs to my room. Once I get there, I see the pile of textbooks on the desk and sigh. Other people slack off on their school work all the time. Why can’t I just have one day where I give myself a break? 

After laying on the ground of my hotel room for way too much time, I quickly get dressed for training and head to the bus, getting there late enough that Vlatko is giving me a disappointed look. I put my headphones and sunglasses on hoping none of the vets will try to start a conversation right now. Eventually, we get to training and we break up into small groups for warm ups, so I quickly insert myself into a group of the younger players. 

“What did you do to piss Kelley off?” Sonnett asks me. “She came to my room fuming and the only words I could make out were ‘Y/n’ and ‘trouble’”

“I didn’t do anything,” I say. “Kelley can fuck off.”

“At this moment right now, I will not say anything about the cursing,” Rose says. “However you need to chill out with whatever mood you are in because I know Alex is pissed at you too. Cursing and being rude to everyone is only going to get you into more trouble.”

“Sorry, Rosie,” I say. “Sorry Sonny. I am frustrated but I shouldn’t take that out on you.”

“It’s okay kid,” Rose says. “If you want to talk about it after training I have plenty of time to listen.”

“Thanks for the offer but I think that might require me to hide from like all of the vets and that task is nearly impossible.”

The rest of training goes fine and I begin to think I am in the clear until the team is heading to the bus and Vlatko calls me and Pinoe over to him.

“Y/n you know time management is an essential part of being a member of this team. You weren’t late today but you were very close to being late. I will let Pinoe take care of this one but if you are late again I will punish you myself.”

Vlatko walks off towards the bus so I go to follow, but I am stopped by Pinoe’s hand firmly grabbing my neck.

“You will go straight to your room when we get back to the hotel,” Pinoe says. “The two of us will be having a conversation about your behavior today. Do you understand me?”

“Yeah sure whatever,” I say with my frustrated mood starting to come back.

“Lose the attitude before you get on that bus. You are in trouble and you know it. Throwing a tantrum is not going to help your situation.”

After a very long bus ride of enduring stares of pity from those who don’t know what is going on besides the fact that I am trouble seemingly with all of the vets and looks of disappointment, anger, and frustration from the vets who do know what is going on, we make it back to the hotel. And I immediately decide to not follow Pinoe’s instructions. However, a hand pulling at my shirt stops me from getting too far. I turn around to be faced with both Kelley and Pinoe.

“What did I tell you to do before we got on the bus?” Pinoe asks with a withering stare.

“To go to my room,” I mumble while looking at my feet.

“So why are you not headed in the direction of your room?” she probes.

“I would really like some apple juice,” I tell her. “I was going to get some from the snack room and then go to my room. I swear.”

“We will walk with you to get the apple juice and then we will be going to your room to have a conversation. Next time, ask for the apple juice and we will allow you to get it.”

Both Kelley and Pinoe follow me very closely, probably expecting me to make a run for it. While the thought of running is enticing, I know that would lead to consequences that I would hate very much. Once we get to my room, Kelley stops me before I go in.

“We love you,” she says. “But you need to be held accountable for your actions. Pinoe will be taking care of this, but she will not hesitate to get others involved if you decide to give her more trouble.”

With that, I am left alone in my room with Pinoe, who has the disappointed parent look perfected.

“Sit,” she orders while pointing at my desk chair.

“Why are we here right now Y/n?”

“Some combination of you, the other vets, and Vlatko being dramatic,” I grumble before I can stop myself.

“Go stand in the corner Y/n. I will set a timer for 15 minutes and when it goes off I expect you to be able to have a respectful conversation with me.”

“I’d rather not,” I tell her.

“You have two choices, Y/n. Either you go stand in the corner right now for 15 minutes, or I call Alyssa in here and she is involved in this conversation after you spend 20 minutes in the corner.”

“Promise you won’t leave me here alone?” I whisper.

“I promise I will be here the whole time, Y/n”

After what seems like an eternity, my corner time is up. And Pinoe only had to ask me to stand still twice. The unfortunate part of my corner time being up is knowing that Pinoe wants to have a conversation that I don’t want to have and there is, without a doubt, an actual punishment for my actions coming.

“Are you ready to talk now?” she asks me.

“Yes ma’am. I am sorry I’ve been disrespectful all day.”

“Thank you for your apology. Can you tell me why you have been rude to pretty much everyone all day? Or why you disappeared without telling anyone while you were supposed to be doing your school work? Or why you did not answer a single text message or phone call?”

“I was frustrated by this situation and I let my emotions control how I was treating people. I disappeared because I just wanted some time by myself to relax. I didn’t do my school work because I just needed a break today. I didn’t answer any text messages or phone calls because I knew that I was going to be in trouble for leaving so I decided it was worth it to dig myself into a bit of a deeper hole if it meant I could be by myself without people bugging me.”

“Y/n, you know that needing a break from school and alone time are completely reasonable. If you just asked for those things we will understand. The reason we are upset is because we didn’t know that you were safe. We were worried that something happened. I think a few of us felt some anger when you came back and couldn’t handle the situation respectfully. I know that emotions are hard, believe me I get it, but taking out your emotions on people is not nice. I want you to apologize to everyone later today.”

“Okay,” I whisper, not happy with the large number of people I’ve been an asshole to.

“Next time you need anything, a break from school, alone time, apple juice, snacks, whatever it is, please just ask someone. It will save you from getting into so much trouble.”

“It's hard,” I say, trying not to cry. “I’m not allowed to want or need anything at home. If I ask for things I get into trouble.”

“You won’t ever get into trouble for asking for what you want or need here. I know that is going to be hard to get used to, but I promise everyone wants you to be healthy and happy so you asking for things will not ever make us mad. Please just try.”

“I will.”

Pinoe then sits next to me and hugs me and after a few minutes I decide to bite the bullet.

“Was the corner time my only punishment?” I ask.

“No Y/n,” she replies. “The corner time was to give you a moment to calm down. You are grounded the rest of camp for leaving without telling anyone where you were going and ignoring the calls and texts. We will be sharing a room for the rest of camp and you will have to be with one of the vets pretty much at all times.”

“Am I going to be allowed to have any fun?” I ask.

“A little bit, but this is a punishment so you aren’t supposed to enjoy it.”

“Am I still allowed cuddles?” I ask.

“You will never be denied cuddles,” Pinoe says while ruffling my hair.

“Are the others still mad at me?”

“They are probably a bit frustrated, but they know that I am handling the situation. I will explain a bit of what is going on. I am very sure that after you apologize everyone will be okay.”

[tgmsunmontue]

You need to learn how to fall 7/10

Hangster (and IceMav) - Bradley is too tall to be a naval aviator and instead becomes a sky diver, specialising in spin recovery. He is a civilian contractor to the military to teach pilots how to survive parachute spins from ejections. A more in-depth version of this post.

PROLOGUE 2003-2006 2007-2010 2011-2015 2016+ ~2019

>>Bradley

>>Jake

                The messages start off sporadic, and he’s unsure how to respond, which tone he should use, because there’s the casual work-related and simply friendly messages, then there’s the flirty ones, and then, then, there’s downright pornographic messages going into detail what Jake would like to do to him. With him. He’s never backed off a challenge though and he can go toe-to-toe so he sends back an equal mix of messages, some bland and mundane, others his innermost fantasies. They’re soon messaging multiple times a day, sleepy early-morning selfies, photos of lunches, short videos.

…             …             …

>>You don’t walk like a man in the Navy, your hips have this roll to them and it drives me fucking wild watching it.

…             …             …

>>Had a jump today, someone passed out while falling. Scariest fucking thing I’ve dealt with in a while.

…             …             …

                A package arrives after about three months, and Bradley hadn’t mentioned sending him anything, but he knows it’s not from his mom. Bradley had mentioned helping bake some shortbread, lemon and rosemary; Jake had said he’d love to try it sometime and now… if he’s not mistaken, there are some sitting in a little container on his kitchen bench and he gets to try some. There’s a return address and he quickly adds it to the information under Bradley’s contact in his phone. The shortbread is delicious and he sends a quick selfie to Bradley of him taking a bite with the words thank you underneath.

…             …             …

>>Teaching has given me a new appreciation for how dumb some people are. I feel like I need to go and apologize to my high school teachers.

…             …             …

>>Your tongue drives me to distraction. When you’re flicking a toothpick I can’t help but wonder what you’d do with my cock.

…             …             …

>>Have I told you recently how much I don’t like sweet potato?

…             …             …

                Jake hasn’t had this much fun flirting with someone in a long time, just this continuous banter back and forth. It hasn’t reverted to dick-pics or sexting or anything more than some pretty explicit messages sent and received out of the blue. Younger him would have been impatient, but he’s now enjoying the journey. Looks forward to the little peeks into Bradley’s day just as much as he looks forward to reading how he might turn Bradley on. It’s all sorts of sweet and different and he can’t wait to see Bradley again.

…             …             …

>>Can I take you out to dinner next time you’re in town?

>>Think I’d be pretty disappointed if you didn’t.

…             …             …

                Ice calls him, tells him Mav is missing and his entire world freezes. They know nothing for certain, but he was flying, and then… something classified which Ice can’t divulge, but then he’s saying Mav might be alive, but simply lost, but they have no idea where and Bradley cannot fucking deal with this right now. He’s the one with PLBs sewn into his fucking jump-suits, he cannot believe the US Navy hasn’t done something similar for one of their pilots, let alone an entire fucking plane. How do they lose a pilot and a plane? Then Ice sends him a link to an unexplained explosion and he’s glad he’s already sitting down. Fuck. He thinks he might throw up.

                Then Ice is standing in the doorway, phone pressed to his ear, expression serious as he nods and says something Bradley cannot hear through the thick air he feels surrounded by.

                “He’s alive.”

                His heart beats.

                Slowly the air returns to something less solid and he can breathe again.

                “Thank fuck. God, I could kill him.”

                “Get in line… think I just aged another decade.”

                “You look good for a man nearing his second century, what with all the extra decades Mav must have added…”

                “I definitely feel that old some days.”

…             …             …

                Bradley’s time to return to Corpus Christi is quickly approaching and he’s feeling excited to see him again. He’s not expecting the papers that he’s handed, he’s mid-assignment, not expecting sudden redeployment and he opens them slowly.

                A special detachment.

                Advice to visit any family with two days of special leave.

                What the fuck.

                He’d otherwise be excited and rearing to go, but Bradley is meant to be flying into Corpus Christi in forty-eight hours. They’re meant to be getting dinner. The irony that he’s got to report to North Island in four days isn’t lost on him. Fuck. Can they not catch a break? Whatever this special detachment is, is going to be risky, otherwise the strong suggestion of visiting family wouldn’t be there coupled with the leave in which to make it happen.

                He has a choice.

                He could skip over seeing his family just to see Bradley. Or he could wait another couple of weeks because Bradley will be in North Island after his two weeks in Corpus Christi finishes. He might not be in North Island in two weeks, but he might never see his family again and as much as he wants to see Bradley, he needs to see his family.

                Fuck this mature adult bullshit.

                He picks up his phone and presses call, something they’ve never done before and it might break his resolve but he doesn’t want to put this through text on a screen.

                “Hi… This is new.”

                “Hi,” Jake says, and Bradley sounds good, relaxed and happy. So good.

                “What are you up to?”

                “Nothing. You?”

                “I’m about to get in a plane and jump out of it with a person strapped to me.”

                “You know, I think I might want to try it some time,” he says, and he means it, thinks he’d enjoy the rush, and the idea of being strapped to Bradley also holds a certain appeal.

                “Yeah? You let me know the time and place and I’ll take you up.”

                “Really?”

                “Of course. And I don’t want to rush you, but was there a special reason for a call? I’m kind of on a time crunch.”

                “Yeah. I just got new orders.”

                “Oh?”

                “I’ve been called in for a special detachment, and you would not believe where I’m going. At least to start with…”

                “North Island…”

                “Yeah.”

                “Talk about crap timing.”

                “Yeah. I’ve been given special leave to visit family,” Jake says, and he has no idea if Bradley knows what that might mean. He knows his dad was a pilot, but he’s been dead since Bradley was a toddler and he’s only had Bradley refer to his uncles raising him.

                “Fuck.”

                Okay. He knows.

                “I mean, I could stay here –”

                “No. Jake. You have to go and see your family. If they’ve granted you that leave it’s for a damned good reason. Fuck. Okay. So. I might see you in North Island after all. If you’re here in a couple of weeks that is…”

                “Yeah. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”

                “Only the US Navy.”

…             …             …

                His family are happy to see him, his mom organizing a quick family gathering and he’s grateful for the opportunity to see as many of his extended family as possible, although he hates the niggling in the back of his mind that resolves into telling his mom to take lots of photos. She looks close to tears, but she does as he asks, and his father grips his shoulder every time he brushes past. They all know what special leave means.

…             …             …

                He savors the messages more now, studies each of the photos that Jake sends him, asks questions about the other people in the photos. Even has a video call when Jake’s parents apparently insist on meeting whoever it is that Jake keeps messaging. Every moment he’s not intent on teaching and training he’s messaging Jake, hoping that he stays in North Island long enough for him to get back there and scared he won’t be.

…             …             …

                Jake’s been in North Island for ten days, and it’s been intense. Terrifying with what is expected of them, but still so exhilarating. This is why he became a naval aviator, why he worked so hard. There are just other things he’s realized he’d also like in his life. He looks at the house and it’s far bigger than he imagined Bradley having. Or needing. Maybe he shares with some others. The lights are on, he can see someone moving around inside and his stomach won’t stop swooping in anticipation. He knows Bradley gets in this evening, although he’s not sure of the exact time; not wanting to ask specifics for fear of showing his hand, wants to surprise him and also doesn’t want to wait longer before seeing him again.

                Jakes wipes his hands on his jeans, nervous. He’s gone from wanting something quick and dirty with Bradley to wanting… well, he still wants quick and dirty, he’s not a eunuch, however he also wants to take him to dinner and listen to him talk passionately about military free fall physics. Wants to bring him coffee the mornings after the quick and dirty. And its mornings plural, because he’s realized over the last few months (and maybe years?) that once is likely not going to be enough. Feel the fear and do it anyway, that’s how the saying goes right?

                He knocks on the door and waits, imagines what Bradley might be wearing, the look on his face as Jake surprises him with his appearance on his doorstep rather than at dinner tomorrow.

                He does not imagine Captain Maverick Mitchell. Although he definitely looks surprised.

                “Lieutenant. What are you doing here?”

                “Uh. Captain Mitchell.”

                “Yes. How did you get this address?”

                “Uh. I’m looking for Doctor Bradshaw.”

                “Bradley? Why?”

                Jake purses his lips, shrugs and nods because at least it’s Bradley he’s looking for. It’s a good sign that Maverick at least knows who he’s talking about, but that he called him by his first name is a bit unnerving. Maverick still looks just as confused to see him and Jake’s trying to formulate the best way to say he’s just here to see Bradley…

                “I just wanted to see him, sir.”

                Maverick stares at him for an age that just seems to drag before his eyes widen with potential realization and Jake hopes he doesn’t blush.

                “Oh. I didn’t realize you knew Bradley…”

                “Pete, who is it?”

                Holy shit.

                Admiral Kazansky.

                Jake swallows. Whose house is this? Maybe Bradshaw is currently staying with them as a guest? Maybe he’s been given the wrong address as a prank? That would be pretty humiliating. And cruel given that it’s in front of his CO and the COMPACFLT. But he can’t be a guest if he calls San Diego home. He didn’t think Bradley was cruel, had felt that their back-and-forth texting and phone calls were building toward something. But he only threw Maverick out of the Hard Deck ten nights ago and Bradley unintentionally gave him this address nearly two months ago. Maybe he’s moved? His brain can't make sense of anything.

                “Lieutenant.”

                He’s not in uniform, and Admiral Kazansky knows his face enough to know who he is and his rank. He has no idea how to feel about that.

                “Admiral Kazansky sir.”

                “He’s after Bradley,” Maverick provides, and he’s stepping away from the front door, like he’s inviting Jake in, but Jake can’t move.

��               “He’s not home yet. His plane is probably still in the air.”

                They know Bradley. They know his schedule, they’re saying he isn’t home. So, this isn’t the wrong address. It explains nothing though.

                “Come in Lieutenant,” Admiral Kazansky states, at the same time Maverick says;

                “Well, you better come in.”

                He was just about to suggest he come back later, however he’s just been invited and sort-of ordered to come in and he nods jerkily, his body stepping forward of it’s own volition.

                “Thank you sir.”

                “You can call me Tom, or Iceman if the first name is a step too far. Just at home. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a bit about you.”

                Fuck. What has he heard exactly?

                He nods again, takes a deep breath to settle the shakiness in his limbs, takes off his shoes, doesn’t think about what the Admiral said, implying that he’d be here, in this home, more than right now. Follows after Maverick to the lounge area and he looks around the room and sees photos, lots of photos and he feels his hairline suddenly prickle with sweat. There’s younger Bradley with Maverick, Bradley and Maverick and Admiral Kazansky on what looks like his promotion ceremony to COMPACFLT and he’s starting to see the picture the photos are painting and it’s making him nervous but it’s also answering so many questions.

NEXT PART (no time jump)

[coqvttes]

i hit 1k followers today and i just want to say thank you so so much, everyone. all the moots i’ve met on here are absolutely amazing and so so kind! i love every single one of them to bits and all the anons in my inbox are sweethearts too. thank you for making this a positive space for me so far. i really appreciate everyone and i’m so happy that people enjoy what i write and what i post, i can truly be myself on here. i truly love you all and i appreciate every single one of you. xx

i want to say special thank yous to some of my lovely mooties. (≧◡≦)づ ♡

@bearieio, spencerr, you were my first ever moot. you've just been so sweet and so so warm to chat with. you’re sooo pretty?? and really sincere! thank you for being my first friend on tumblr. (:

@dizzyntrr : maxine! my british bestie! i do LOVE seeing what you post on your blog and hearing about how your day went! your poetry is so lovely and so are you; i love your choice of vocabulary haha.

@yonphilia : you're truly amazing, mio! you’re always checking up on me and sending me lovely asks! you’re so so so energetic and kind and supportive.

@cigsnfilms : my supporterrrr. one of the first to interact with me and please we need to talk moreee. i LOVEE all the stuff you reblog i live for it!

@poisonedprose : you are such a talented writer, i remember reading a fic of yours before i even started this blog and i just remember it all. vira, you truly have a wonderful way with words and you’re just super nice!

@arthursgf1 : i love the aesthetic of your whole blog and everything you post and reblog (live laugh love arthur morgan). and dev, you're so so sweet! i'd love to talk to you more!

@konigceo : lala my love, your blog is SOO cute and pretty and pink and lovely and aheioshzh. your writing makes me blush and kick my feet up in the air literally!!

@solutopia : solana, i’ve always loved your name soooo much! and your blog themes are always gorgeous i love seeing your new ones. thank u sm for sending me asks often you’re really kind, darling.

@spiderst4rgirl : belle, you are just spontaneous and a big bundle of energy, literally, you make me burst out laughing so often. i love how pretty your moodboards are AND YOU ARE SO PRETTY TOO.

@starzu : you're blog is so so so lovely and so are you, you post nearly everyday and you work yourself so hard! i love all of your ideas in your fics and you deserve a big hug and i'll give it to you!

@norafaye : i just love how you've done up your blog so much! nora, you're so so creative and i love that so much! you're super supportive and real it's so nice to have a moot who loves f1 too!

@angedetoile : you're my bae, i love how you message me all the time and send me stuff all day. you are literally an angel and a total sweetheart. your goofy tiktoks make me laugh too omg.

@kasumitenbaz : kassandra! we've literally just met and all but i have to mention you. you are really sweet and your blog theme is so adorable and so are you. can't wait to talk 2 you more!

[ivory-lamps]

[SSR] Nagi - The Taste of Happiness (Part 1 / 2)

SSR Card: downpour light Proofreader: Shay

Momiji / Kaede: (I’m glad the afternoon meeting is at the Flower Laundry that’s nearby. It should be pretty easy to get this little coffee stain removed.)

(I have to help out Yachiyo-kun tomorrow. He lowered his head to the ground and apologised so many times I think he made a hole in it…)

*Momiji / Kaede walk into Flower Laundry*

Momiji / Kaede: Hey, Nagi-ku–

*Nagi is stuck on the ceiling, legs dangling*

Nagi: Welcome.

Momiji / Kaede: What the–!?

Hey, you’re definitely not fine, right!? What happened!?

Nagi: I’m just working.

I was thinking about taking a break since a customer brought some snacks as thanks, but out of nowhere, a hamster… I think it was Machiko from the nearby kindergarten. Probably.

I saw Machiko running towards me so I wanted to avoid her, but then I noticed the trampoline Akuta and the others had left here in the corner of my eye…

So I fell onto it to save myself, but the moment that happened, I ended up flying through the air as if someone had hit a home run.

Momiji / Kaede: O–Okay, I get the picture. I’ll help you out so hold on!

Nagi: …Phew. Thanks. You’re my lifesaver, Manager.

Sonia: You’re also the ceiling’s lifesaver. Thanks for fixing it!

Momiji / Kaede: No worries. Thanks for removing the coffee stain, too.

Nagi: Glad to be of help.

But I don’t think I can continue helping out at the office. Sorry, Manager.

I’m falling behind on deliveries. I need to reschedule right away���

Momiji / Kaede: Do you want some help…? I came in the company car.

My work’s all done for the day, so I’m sure it’ll be fine if I send Kafka a message.

Nagi: Are you sure?

Oh, but there’s a bomb cyclone happening today. There might be some trouble heading my way.

Momiji / Kaede: Ahaha, it’s totally fine! Besides, I could use the experience as troubleshooting practice, so it’ll be perfect.

Nagi: …Thank you. Then I’ll take you up on that offer.

I guess I’ll get you to help me with the deliveries first…

A scary-looking person: Hey, you! You better hurry up and pay me that debt you owe!

Nagi: My apologies. I’ll pay back the interest first. How much do I owe?

Momiji / Kaede: Wait, wait! Put your wallet away!

*Some time passes*

Momiji / Kaede: (...We finished the deliveries, but it’s amazing how much of a trouble magnet Nagi is.)

(I can’t believe a loan shark got the wrong address and started storming in…)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ📍 Flashback

Momiji / Kaede: I’m done loading it up. Where should I deliver them to?

Nagi: First, the shopping mall.

There are a few new stores opening, so they’re deliveries for those places. We’ll split up once we get there.

Construction worker: Sorry, we’re currently in the middle of construction work. Please take another road.

Momiji / Kaede: But I could pass through just fine earlier!

Momiji / Kaede: (Construction started out of the blue and we had to take a detour…)

(Then kids, who were passing by, challenged us to a cornering battle, and some tossed pizza dough flew at us. There was so much stuff happening we barely had any time to catch our breath.)

(This is going to be tough if stuff like this happens every time there’s a bomb cyclone…)

Nagi: …………

…Manager, we’ll go stock up on flowers next.

The app said the atmospheric pressure will be stabilised in the afternoon. There shouldn’t be any more trouble coming our way, so mobility will be important. Let’s head out on my motorcycle.

Here, your helmet. Put it on tight.

Sonia: Nagi-san, Manager-san, be careful on your way out.

I’ve packed the usual stuff for you! Take it with you, okay?

Nagi: Thanks, Sonia. …See you later.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ Index ≡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNext →

[pseudowho]

hi Haitch I’m the relationship anon from a few weeks ago!

I thank you kindly for your advice <3. He was supposed to come to visit at the end of this month but messaged me earlier this week to say that’s he’s coming today 🙃. When I scolded him for not telling me that he was coming so soon, he responded back with “God forbid someone try to surprise you”. So now we are going out to a club with a group of friends so we will see how that will work out 🤷🏼‍♀️.

But here are some other things that he’s done that I’ve claimed are obviously things that friends do to each other because I’m dense:

•he left me a very nice vintage jean jacket he thrifted (I was the only one he gave anything to)

•when I said that a certain Sabrina Carpenter song makes me want to bite a man on the bicep, he said “I suddenly need to go to the gym”

•when I causally informed him that I was getting a new tattoo, he got upset. I sarcastically apologized and said I’ll start updating him about every second of my life, he said that’s exactly what he wants.

•The line for merch at a concert we went to was too long and I didn’t want him and my other friend to wait so I said I’ll just order something online. He excused himself to go the bathroom and actually went to stand in said merch line because there was a concert only poster he knew I wanted.

•Said concert was in his city, so when I got to his place to pick him up, he made me be passenger princess because “you’ve been driving all day” and he didn’t want me to be too tired for the concert.

•sent me a link to his sex playlist and asked for help with finding a picture for the cover of it. (This one completely went over my head and he actually ended up deleting it because I didn’t understand what he was hinting at)

•Would come find me at work and give me random little snacks that he had on him.

•Sends me any and all edits of men he knows I like.

•Let me FaceTime him in the middle of the night because my car was making noises and I didn’t know what to do (he knew immediately what it was and what I needed to do)

•he’s coming down for my graduation and is excited to do so. Our common friends are pretty much flabbergasted that he’s doing so because he usually doesn’t care for stuff like that.

In conclusion, I am a clown of a woman.

He's just a man, standing in front of a woman, desperately hitting his head on a brick wall because she doesn't understand that he's trying to tell her he loves her.

Nice one mate, have a good one 👍

You fucken dork (affectionately),

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[dewsdoit]

we're not really strangers pt. 2.2

wonwoo x oc

no professional proofreading. may contain grammatical errors.

This has got to be the longest I’ve ever spent time with him.

Midterms are done, I’m half way through my last semester, and I’m still working on this project with him. The past few months have been crazy. Or at least for me it is.

Wonwoo and I have been messaging each other almost everyday. We ask each other about how our day went, if we’ve already eaten, and we send videos or photos of things that we might enjoy. In fact, we haven’t stopped talking ever since that night his car broke down.

I was still lying on the floor, thinking about how much I’d fallen for this guy whom I only have vague memories of from my childhood. I was going down in a spiral of thoughts, wondering if I only like him because of his beautiful face, approachable personality, perfect height, and his seemingly awkward demeanor that I find charming. I could list all the reasons why I like him, but I can’t even think of one reason why he would like me back. Or why would anything other than friendship start between the two of us?

All of these thoughts were interrupted by my phone’s buzzing. It buzzed twice.

“I had fun today. Hope we can do that more often :)”

“Hangout, I mean. Anyway, let me know if you got home safely.”

My heart sank, I think I swallowed it. I’m in all sorts of pain and my heart is racing so fast. He enjoys my company?… no, no, no. Let’s not go there.

“I had fun today too. Thanks for checking up on me, I’m home now. Let me know if you’re already ho|“

— Should I ask?? Would it sound like I’m being clingy or am I being too nice? Do I text back immediately or should I wait?

“I had fun today too. Thanks for checking up on me, I’m home now. Let me know if you’re already home too.”

✓ Sent

I got up so fast that all the blood came rushing down to body. I got so lightheaded from overthinking what I just said. Maybe I need to get a grip of myself and just play it cool.

My phone buzzed again.

“I just got home actually, thanks for checking up on me too. You should get some rest. I’ll see you again on Monday!”

I tried stopping myself from smiling by putting my hands on my face aggressively. I managed to get up, take a shower, and eat dinner with my mom. As I finally let my body meet my bed, I thought to myself, “Maybe there are good things to look forward to on Mondays.” I allow myself to feel such glee at the idea of seeing him again, I let the thought of his company take over my thoughts for tonight.

My phone buzzed again.

“Hey, I remember you have a cat like this one. He must be this adorable too. :)”

He sent a cute clip of a ginger cat having zoomies and stopping occasionally to look at its owner. He remembered my ginger boy… This familiar feeling comes so naturally now. My heart fluttered so much that it felt like it sank deep, deep down to my stomach. Seems like there is no use in denying it now.

I responded and told him that he is a lot like that. We continued to talk about my cat, and one question led to another, so the conversation continued.

Next thing I knew, it was already 4 in the morning. He wanted to call me in the middle of our conversation but I got so scared. Why was I afraid of that?? It'd be stupid to deny that I wanted to hear his voice on the other line but I backed out like a coward.

"I'm in my mom's room so I can't take a call right now. I shouldn't even be awake right now..."

I lied, I'm literally alone in my small room.

"Oh, okay. I understand. Aren't you tired yet? Your mom might scold you if she wakes up and finds you still awake."

I've been typing with one eye open but I don't even care, I just wanted to keep talking to him.

"I mean if you're tired, we can sleep now. I don't feel tired at all, honestly."

Another lie he doesn't need to know. I'm really letting myself go right now.

"Well... it is pretty late. Let's get some rest, shall we? I'll make sure to message you when I wake up. :)"

Weirdly enough his words put a halt to my desire to keep talking to him. Truth be told, I'm afraid that this is the only time he'll find me interesting enough to talk to. A bigger fear creeps in as my confidence depletes whenever I think about him. Why am I afraid of losing someone who's not even mine in the first place? So, our simple midnight conversation should stay as it is. There's no harm in talking to him, regardless of what I feel towards him. But I should really keep in mind that he might never reciprocate those feelings back and I should keep things the way they are right now.

"Goodnight, Wonwoo. I'll talk to you then. :)"

And we did talk after that. We started having lunch together after our film class. We would discuss what we just learned and try to apply that in our shots, we'd talk about anything and everything. There were days when we'd meet up at our cafe spot just to edit together. We would go there often, but we don't mind hanging out anywhere. Sometimes his friends would sit with us and some of them became close to me too. "Okay okay, but I haven't even opened these cards yet and you're telling me that the two of you are already on the second level? You've only had this for a few months, dude", his friend nags. "Well, we hang out a lot more than you think. Besides, it's a fun game. You get to know each other really well.", Wonwoo responds.

He was looking down at his food while saying that, but he looked up at me and gave me a soft smile. I let out a little laugh and kept playing with my food. I wish I choked on my food but I couldn't even take a single bite for a moment there. I hope I'm doing a good job of keeping myself composed cause I can feel my breath being taken away. His friend flips a level 2 card and faces toward me, "Okay, let me ask you what this card says, "What trait of yours is a dead giveaway that you're interested in someone?" In perfect timing, a piece of pasta gets stuck in my throat. I tried to stop coughing so I could talk but I just couldn't get the words out of my mouth. "You can take your time, seems like I caught you off guard there.", his friend Seungkwan teases. "It'd be nice if you actually help her out you know.", Wonwoo says while handing out his bottled water to me. He already took the cap off so I just chugged it down. "I-um...I don't really know what trait...I mean, I don't think I have any trait that would make it seem obvious that I like someone. Or maybe I'm just really good at hiding it.", I say proudly as if I don't experience at least 5 symptoms of chronic nausea just thinking about Wonwoo. "So, does that mean that you're pretty straightforward then? You can say 'I like you' without hesitation?", Seungkwan asks. I stare at him blankly and it seems like Wonwoo is also waiting for a response. If I'm being honest, I could admit my feelings right then and there if he kept staring at me with his soft and charming eyes. "Maybe, maybe not? I guess you'll never know.", I say teasingly. Seungkwan went on about how people with the same mindset as mine tend to give guys like him the wrong idea. Wonwoo and Seungkwan exchanged banters and opinions about it. Wonwoo was firm that it takes two people to make their relationship work, and Seungkwan was firm that people shouldn't start something they can't commit to. They're both right honestly, it's just entertaining to hear both sides. It was already dark outside when my last class ended. I started walking towards the footbridge, and the cold breeze was fighting to seep through my sweater. I decided to wait inside the building where our cafe spot was. I peeked through the glass window beside me where I got a good, subtle view of the cafe. As I was scanning for available seats, I saw Wonwoo sitting inside. He was so focused on the screen of his laptop, it was so bright that it almost made his glasses appear white. I chuckled a little and looked away for a moment. "That's so adorable", I thought to myself. He's probably re-reading his research given the amount of brightness he had on his screen. I decided to give a second glance at him after a while but he wasn't there anymore. Confused, I stood up and moved closer to the big glass window. Where the hell did he go? I took a step back, and just as I was about to turn around, Wonwoo held onto my shoulders to stop me from losing my balance. We were only a few inches away from each other, and I could see my startled expression on the reflection of his glasses. "You okay?", he asked. A soft smile formed across his face and he looked like he was about to laugh. I forgot how to breathe at this point. "How did- I mean where-", I stuttered. "Were you looking for me?", he asked while his hands stayed on my shoulders with a lighter grip. "No I-I was looking for a seat. I think it's gonna rain soon so I was thinking of staying inside the cafe instead.", I responded.

"If you don't mind staying with me, I already have a table inside. Do you wanna come?", he asked. I was still processing how close our proximity was so I couldn't bring myself to respond immediately. And before I could even speak, he reached down to where I was seated to grab my things. He stood tall in front of me and gestured with his eyes, it looked like he was waiting for my approval. I gave him a small smile and nodded. He offered his hand, which confused me at first 'cause I'm not sure what he meant by that. He then lightly grabs the end of the sleeve of my sweater, gesturing me to go ahead of him. And as we're walking out of the building, he places his hand on my shoulder as if he's guiding me to the cafe. I'm not sure if I should thank him for placing his hand on my shoulder 'cause I can't feel my lower body, I was just floating at that point.

part 2 | part 1.1 (wonwoo's pov) | part 1

[vyvixen]

After the storm ✧

ft ; - Kazuha Kaedehara x gn! Reader

warnings ; - fluff, slight angst, thunderstorms, passing out and light swearing!! ( do tell me if I’ve missed any )

summary; - Kazuha comes home, back to inazuma after a month of not hearing anything from him. 

notes; - guys its my first public writing and there may be a few spelling or grammar errors cause m writing this at 1 am with pure iced coffee in my blood 💀💀 forgive me if there’s any missed warnings, im pretty new to this :p ________---- ________---- ________---- ________---- ________---- ________-- A month.

A month of silence from your beloved boyfriend, Kazuha. No letters, no nothing, and you were getting agitated and tired. Heck, you’ve tried letters and even attempting to send a message through a dove but of course, no response.

Pacing around your room over and over, your mind was enshrouded with dark thoughts that were not meant to be there, you decided to head over to Ritou, maybe meet up with Thoma and chat for awhile to calm yourself down. But of course, fate wasn’t on your side today.

It started raining heavily, just as you were about to step out the miniature cottage by the sea that you and Kazuha shared.

Sighing in annoyance, you still decided to head out with an umbrella that was tucked away neatly in the corner of the cottage and left for Ritou. You weren’t even half way there when the rain got much worse, wind wrapping and pulling uncomfortably against your kimono. Thunder struck and fear pulled you in, bringing back the dark memories of the man you once saw as your brother, Tomo. Slowly losing consciousness, thick black fog blocked your view as large blobs of tears and sobs ran down your face uncontrollably as your vison started blurring away.

At least you lasted long enough to feel another strong but gentle gust of teal wind, and a mop of white-red hair before falling into a deep slumber.

________---- ________---- ________---- ________---- ________---- ________--

Slowly, you regained consciousness, eyes peeling apart to reveal the familiar sight of your shared bedroom. You looked out the open window and saw crimson red skies - one that reminded you way too much of your lover. Your heart squeezed tight as you recalled the recent events that took place earlier.  Wait, how did you get here? Just as you were about to pinch yourself to attempt to get a grip of life, you felt a warm hand gently grip your hand before you could inflict pain on yourself. Eyes widening in shock and disbelief, you looked towards the source and much to your surprise, Kazuha stood there, smiling gently.

“ Wh-WHAT are you doing here? “ you let out a surprised choked sob, holding back the wave of emotions that were about to burst.

“ My love, please let me explain. I am so, so sorry that I hadn’t contacted you at all and I must've made you worry a lot. Letters couldn’t reach me because of the wild violent thunderstorms.” Kazuha said with an exasperated sigh. “ Please, please forgive me. Heck- I’d do anythin-” Before he could say another word he was cut off with a desperate eager kiss. A kiss he has owed you for a month now, for making you worry so much. Slowly you both parted from one another, gasping for air. “ Idiot, you owe me a lifetimes worth of cuddles and kisses. You made me worry like hell! “ You pouted while folding your arms. “ Sounds like a lovely plan I’d never decline, even in a billion years. “ Kazuha chuckled.

________---- ________---- ________---- ________---- ________---- ________-- Notes ; - Took me 3 DAYS of procrastination and coffee to finish but I’ve actually done it :D not exactly proud but heyy its a first time thing HAHAA,, Dww ill write more in the future!! 

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Kicho's Main Story Chapter 7 Part 1

These translations are not intended as a replacement for the game. Please support cybird by buying their stories. JP SPOILERS under the cut. Expect mistakes

A few days later.

Mai: “Okay! I’m done!”

I snipped the thread and unfolded the garment I had just finished sewing.

(I didn’t have enough time, but it turned out pretty good.)

(All that’s left to do is to add some minor touches and do a final check. I think I can make it in time.)

Although the work is not yet complete, a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction fills my soul, bringing a smile to my lips.

(I hope he’ll be happy with the rest.)

The last time I spoke with Kicho was a few days ago when he told me about his past.

After that, he briefly summarized the story.

He met a professor at Honnoji Temple, where he learned about the wormhole and was finally able to return to the Sengoku era after three years.

The place he returned to was the same as mine on the night of the Honnoji Incident.

After telling me all that, he laid down on the bed, exhausted, and told me to get out of his room.

(Since then, we’ve been so busy that we haven’t seen each other.)

(Well, I’m sure we’ll see each other tomorrow.)

(Anyway, I gotta do what I gotta do now!)

I lightly slapped my cheeks with both hands and started working again.

Mai: “Ouch!”

I lost my focus for a moment as I pricked my finger with the needle.

(I’ve been doing this for at least two hours straight.)

(I feel like my eyes are starting to hurt from all the work I've been doing.)

Mai: "*sigh* I think I'll take a break."

I put the needle back and stretched as far as I could, when一

Subordinate's voice: "Excuse me."

Mai: "Yes, is something wrong?"

Subordinate's voice: "I heard there's a package addressed to you. Do you know anything about it?"

(Delivery?)

???: "Hello. Sarutobi Delivery at your service."

(Yes!)

Mai: "Yes, I asked for more fabric. Let him in."

Subordinate's voice: "I see. You can come in then."

With permission to enter, the door opened, and a familiar face appeared.

Sasuke: "Hi, Miss. Thank you for your patronage."

Mai: "No, not at all."

Mai: "Thank you for coming at just the right time. I really need it."

While talking casually, I listened for any noises on the other side of the door and signaled Sasuke with my fingers as soon as the footsteps moved away.

Sasuke: "Mai, it's been a few weeks."

Mai: "Yeah. How have you been?"

Sasuke: "As you can see. No matter what kind of mission I'm on, my health comes first, so I pay attention to that."

Sasuke: "Proper sleep, diet, exercise, and makibishi (metal spikes) are crucial."

Mai: "Does the last one have anything to do with health?"

Sasuke: "Of course, just having these things makes a huge difference in how I feel. How about you?"

Mai: "Hehe, I'm okay."

Mai: "By the way, the fact that you came like this today means..."

Sasuke: “Just as you expect. I have a message from Mitsuhide for you.”

Mai: “I see, so you got to meet him safely. Thank you for doing this.”

Sasuke: “You’re welcome.”

Sasuke: “This may sound personal, but I’m grateful I got to talk to Mitsuhide Akechi in person. So don’t worry about it.”

(His eyes are twinkling.)

(Sasuke is really tough in this way.)

Sasuke: “Let’s get down to business.”

Sasuke: “Mai, you need to get out of this place.”

Mai: “Huh?”

Fuku: “This way.”

Mai: “Yeah, thanks for showing me the way.”

I was on my way to Kicho’s room after catching Fuku as he tried to escape.

Fuku: “Kicho.”

Mai: “It’s gonna be okay. Let’s go back to your room first.”

(Her chirping is somewhat listless. Maybe it’s because she hasn’t been able to spend much time with Kicho.)

(Well, it’s normal to miss the person you love. I miss him too.)

(Wait, what the hell am I thinking?)

I need to concentrate and drive the feelings that keep popping up in my heart.

(I should never feel lonely.)

(After all, I will be his enemy soon.)

------------Flashback------------

Sasuke: “Mai, you need to get out of this place.”

Mai: “Huh?”

Sasuke: “Mitsuhide told me that things had changed while you were here.”

Sasuke: “I think it’s true because it was consistent with the information I had gotten from Kasugayama.”

Mai: “What do you mean by ‘things’?”

Sasuke: “Recently, the rebellions suddenly calmed down.”

Sasuke: “There are almost no skirmishes happening, and Japan is eerily quiet right now.”

Mai: “That can’t be a good thing, right?”

Mai: “Is someone else behind it?”

Sasuke: “Yeah. There must be something going on.”

Sasuke: “It looks like the Oda forces intend to capture Kicho before he can attack them.”

Mai: “Capture!?”

(Capturing Kicho?)

Sasuke: “Mai, are you okay?”

Mai: “Yes, of course.”

He looked at me worriedly, seeing my reaction, and I nodded, pretending that nothing was wrong.

Sasuke: “Anyway, you’ll be in danger if you stay here.”

Sasuke: “We don’t know what might happen, and he might take you as a hostage.”

Sasuke: "They'll execute the plan tomorrow night. You need to escape with Mitsuhide."

Mai: "Tomorrow? That's just too sudden."

Sasuke: "Yeah, but it's much better than taking our time to make a plan."

Sasuke: "You, of all people, should know better that we're dealing with the enemy here. It's better to move before he senses we're on to him."

Mai: "Okay."

---------Flashback Ends---------

(Midnight, huh?)

(Normally, I would be in my room after work, but tomorrow...)

Mai: "I hope the party will be a success."

The same day, time of the boar (9-11 p.m.)

Motonari: “So, everything is pretty much as planned.”

Kicho: “I see. No problems here, either. We’re moving forward with the plans I previously told you about.”

Kicho: “The first ship will arrive tomorrow morning to unload.”

Motonari: “Yeah, I know. If they leave right away, they can make it in time.”

Motonari: “But you’re right. We should have had that thing if we’re going to stock that many.”

Kicho: “What are you talking about?”

Motonari: “Air transportation. Well, I’m sure a ship can carry more than a bird (plane) can.”

Motonari: “Or is there some other way to get around in this world that I don’t know about?”

Kicho: “There is no point explaining it to you. In any case, it’s not possible in this era.”

Motonari: “This era, huh?”

Kicho: “Why are you suddenly saying this? You weren’t interested before.”

Motonari: “Yeah, not one bit.”

Motonari: “You’re always talking nonsense like you’ve really seen it with your own eyes, but...”

Motonari cut off his words and lit the cigar he had taken out. Then, as the tip of the cigar lit up with the same color as his eyes, a thin wisp of smoke rose.

Motonari: “Lately, you’ve stopped talking about this nonsense.”

Motonari: “You’re acting strange today, too.”

Kicho: “..............”

Kicho said nothing and pushed the ashtray quietly toward Motonari, who sighed and blew out the smoke.

Motonari: “I’m telling you, the only reason I’m working with you is that we have the same goals.”

Motonari: “If you ever start acting weird, you know what will happen, right?”

Kicho: “Of course. I’ve come this far. I have no intention of twisting the cause I’ve set forward.”

Kicho: “Besides, I’m no different from you. If you were in my way, I would have taken care of you long ago.”

Motonari: “Ha! Sure.”

With a satisfied grin, Motonari pushed his cigar into the ashtray and stood up.

Motonari: “That’s the end of this pain in the ass talk. I’ll still be your partner for now.”

Motonari: “Let’s watch the grand march in the same hell.”

Kicho: “Yeah.”

After Motonari left, Kicho remained alone in the room and stared at the ashtray.

The remaining cigar was no longer lit and only slightly charred at the tip, but when shaken by the slightest breeze, it started burning red again.

At the same time, in Sakai.

Messenger: "These are the instructions from Lord Nobunaga."

Mitsuhide: "I understand."

Messenger: "Well, I'll be going now."

As the messenger quickly left into the night, a man appeared in his place.

Sasuke: "Mitsuhide, good evening."

Sasuke: "I told Mai about what you said."

Mitsuhide: "I see. Sorry for the trouble."

Mitsuhide: "By the way, why are you dressed like a ninja?"

Sasuke: "Because I'm a ninja. I received an order from the top to return home, so I have to leave this town."

Mitsuhide: "I see. But still, I never thought she knew someone from Kasugayama."

Sasuke: "No matter where we are, we're still friends and from the same hometown."

Mitsuhide: "Same hometown, huh?"

Sasuke: "Yes. I can't go into details, though."

Mitsuhide: "Did you know you can get information using torture?"

Sasuke: "My apologies."

Mitsuhide: "I'm kidding. If anyone can make up for that girl's ambiguity, so be it."

Sasuke: "Mitsuhide. Please take care of Mai."

Mitsuhide: "Yeah, you don't have to tell me. That's what I'm here for."

The Next Day

I was cleaning the area around the entrance in the early afternoon.

Mai: "Hmm. What should I do?"

Sweeping over the cobblestones with my broom, I glanced at the upstairs window.

(I wonder if Kicho is in his room today.)

(I want to deliver it after cleaning this, but I might annoy him if I give it to him out of the blue.)

Last night, after much worrying, I managed to complete the outfit.

However, I still couldn’t decide how to give it to him.

(No, maybe I’m not worried about giving him the clothes. Maybe I’m afraid of meeting him.)

(Because today...)

Kicho’s subordinate: “Hey, Lady Mai!”

Mai: “Y-Yes!”

I turned around to see Kicho’s men beckoning me through the entrance of the trading post.

Kicho’s subordinate: “Lord Kicho wants to see you.”

Mai: “Ehh!?”

Mai: “E-Excuse me.”

Kicho: “You’re here.”

He was standing by the window when I entered the room.

He then looked at me and shifted his gaze to the package I was carrying.

Kicho: “What’s that?”

Mai: “Um, I made you this outfit.”

Kicho: “Outfit?”

Mai: “Yup. A foreign style outfit for today’s party.”

Mai: “Oh, but don't worry. I’m not forcing you to wear it.”

I quickly said this and put it on the desk.

(I don’t have much time to prepare myself for this, but I think it’s better than not giving it to him.)

Kicho: “I see. You beat me to it.”

Mai: “Beat you to it?”

He walked towards the corner of the room and removed the cloth, hanging on to something, revealing a magnificent dress.

Mai: “Wow! It’s beautiful.”

Kicho: “I called you here to give you this.”

Kicho: “Since it’s a party, you can dress up to your heart’s content tonight.”

Mai: “Are you sure you want me to join the party?”

Kicho: “I’m not forcing you to do this, but I need a companion tonight. That’s why I’m inviting you.”

(Is that?)

My heart beats faster as I get the meaning of his words.

(I’m not gonna change my mind now, but I want to be with him as much as possible.)

Mai: “Are you sure about this?”

Kicho: “Do you want me to say no?”

Mai: “No.”

Kicho: “Me neither. I don’t want you to say that to me.”

Kicho: “So much so that I cut off your escape route first with this dress.”

(Kicho...)

Mai: “Then, by all means, please.”

Kicho prepared not only the dress but also the shoes and hair accessories.

Just as I returned to my room and finished putting it all on, someone knocked on my door.

Kicho’s voice: “Mai, I’m coming in.”

Mai: “Sure.”

(Wow...)

I blinked a few times when I saw him enter the room.

Kicho: “How is it?”

Mai: “You look really cool.”

(I designed it myself, but it’s more powerful than I ever imagined.)

Mai: “The colors are perfect for you. It’s really nice.”

Kicho: “I was asking about your dress. It looks like I didn't say it properly.”

Mai: “What?”

Kicho: “First of all, let me thank you. I guess you went out of your way to prepare this for me, even though you have other work to do.”

Kicho: “I could tell how good you are when I put the sleeves on. You’re very meticulous in your work.”

Mai: “Thank you. I’m glad to hear you say so.”

(It’s been a while since I’ve had someone wear and be happy with the clothes I made.)

(I’m really happy.)

As I reflect on my feelings, I realize again that I love doing this.

(Even after coming to the Sengoku period, I’m still me.)

Mai: “Right. Let me thank you too.”

Mai: “Thank you for the beautiful dress. It fits me perfectly and is very comfortable.”

The dress, like those worn by fairytale princesses, was elegantly colored in white, and the hem was made of a generous layer of fabric that, even with the slightest movement, fluffed up.

The waistline was also tight, making me straighten up my back unconsciously.

Kicho: “I’m glad you like it. Now, let’s move on to the finishing touches.”

Mai: “Huh? Finishing touches?”

He placed a wooden box on the table he had brought from his room, opened the lid, and I saw some cosmetic kit inside.

(What on earth?)

Kicho: “Sit on the chair over there.”

Mai: “Okay.”

I sat down, and he stared at me while carefully taking out the makeup kit one at a time and placing it carefully on my skin.

Mai: “You know how to put on makeup?”

Kicho: “Yes, my sister taught me.”

Kicho: “Not only makeup but also how to dress, behave, and everything else so that I can live as a woman.”

Mai: “Your sister really cared about you.”

Kicho: “I wonder about that.”

Mai: “You’re very gentle with your hands. I can tell that you’re taking good care of me right now.”

Kicho: “I see. Well, it’s only natural.”

His long fingertips lifted my chin.

Kicho: “I cherish you. I can assure you that much.”

Mai: “............”

Previous╏Kicho's POV╏Next

[danidrabbles]

🎵❤️

It's been a while since you sent this, but thank you so much for the support and for sending me a message ❤️

Send me a 🎵, I’ll put my music on shuffle and write something inspired by that song.

Pairing: Dave York / f!reader

Rating: Explicit (18+! smut, masturbation, breasts (mentioned, big enough to at least push together), description of.... explicit videos and me parodying them badly (probably))

Unpaid Intern

“Anyone need a coffee?” you ask, popping your head into the conference room. Everyone in the room turns their head towards you at once, and, feeling on the spot, you add, “I’m um, doing a run, so...”

Everyone rattles off their orders, leaving your boss last.

“I’ll have one,” he says. “You know how I like it.” It could’ve sounded condescending, but it’s more… trusting. 

“All right, mister York,” you say, giving him a nod.

Before you leave, he addresses you, waits until you look him in the eye when he says, “Please, call me Dave.”

You nod again, cheeks heating. 

Later, when you bring everyone’s orders, he’s the only one who thanks you.

– – – – –

You’ve been here for two months now and as the intern, you get the chores other people don’t really want; the office is in the middle of digitising a couple of old documents, and it became your job to do it. You hate to admit it, but it’s actually teaching you something. It has taken up the biggest part of your week, but today, you’re on the brink of finishing it. It makes the day pass fast as you work quickly, but thoroughly, and by the time it’s early evening, everything is done.

When you’re about to leave, Dave is just stepping out of his office.

As he closes the door behind him, his eyes find you with quiet curiosity. “Now, tell me why the intern is one of the last ones out the door.”

You jab your thumb over your shoulder, pointing at the records room. “Only just finished up, but it’s all done.”

“Always making sure everyone is looked after, always got your work done by the end of the day…” He gives you a once over and nods in approval. “You’re a hard worker. I like it.”

His praise makes you soar, a sense of pride making your belly swoop. You have to be careful not to let it show too much. “Thank you, sir–Dave,” you correct quickly.

“Good,” he says with a nod, lingering a little before saying his goodbyes. “See you tomorrow.”

– – – – –

Commute. Dinner. Waste what remains of your evening on the couch. Bed.

Once there, you can’t really settle, the swoop in your belly from earlier replaced with something else that makes you buzz. After turning, tossing and turning again, you reach for your phone, finally give into what you hope will help.

A week or so ago, your best friend had recommended you… a video. She texted you the link, added the comment, I think this is the first time I’ve ever thought a guy's dick was pretty. 

Now might be the time to see if you agree.

After reaching for your earphones on your nightstand and popping them in, you scrolling back in your text history to find and click the link. The screengrab under the play button is lewd. It's an actor sitting on an office chair with an actress in his lap, but they’re reduced to just their body parts; the camera is focussed on his cock buried deep inside of her…

Settling back against your pillow, knees spread wide beneath your blankets, you hit play.

The actress’ high, nasally voice does a voiceover about how difficult a new job can be, how hard it is working in an all-male environment, and how she needs her boss’ approval on the report she’s been working on.

The door of her office opens, and an actor enters, the voiceover informing you it’s her boss. "Can I see you in my office, please?" he asks.

You inhale sharply at the sight of him; he looks just like your boss. Your clit throbs in response, the flush of embarrassment and arousal at the reaction going from your crown all the way to the tips of your toes. It gives you pause, one finger hovering over the pause button, another finger teasing yourself over your underwear.

You don’t pause.

They talk about the report; badly acted dialogue where he approves of her work. It’s just build-up for what comes next. As they talk, the actor’s voice becomes his voice. And as the video plays, your eyes flutter closed, using it to build your own little fantasy around it… 

He wouldn't waste time - he's a busy man. But he wouldn’t just pounce on you, either. He’d ease into it a little, charm you; stand close, tell you you look pretty, swipe a strand of hair from your brow as he looks down your blouse. You’d stutter out his name, his title and his last name, and he’d correct you.

“Call me Dave.”

And you’d nod.

“Always taking such good care of everything, but who’s taking care of you, hmm?” says the voice in your ear. “Let me help you.”

He would say something like that, too.

You cup yourself over the fabric between your legs, your teeth dig into your bottom lip as you hear the actors on screen share a kiss, and you take a quick peek to watch their tongues tangle together.

Dave’s plump bottom lip would fit so well between your lips, the both of you testing the waters softly before he'd cup your jaw and deepen the kiss. While his tongue explored your mouth, he’d back you up against his desk, the edge digging into the curve of your ass, the hard ridge of his cock against your front. Wandering hands would roam your body, squeezing your waist, a large palm–

“Let’s get this off, show me these.”

–cupping your chest. You would unbutton your blouse, hands trembling under his watchful gaze, struggling with a few small buttons until the fabric falls open to reveal your heaving chest. 

A single finger would hook in the front of your bra while you shrug your blouse off, and Dave would pull the cup down until it revealed a stiff nipple. Reaching behind your back, you would undo the clasp, making your bra fall away so he could see. 

“Look at these fucking tits,” his voice sails into your ears, followed by an appreciative groan.

You place the phone down next to you so you can still see, but have both hands free, and ruck up the fabric of your shirt. With a groan, you take a breast in your hand and squeeze, before pinching your nipple.

They’d fit in his hands nicely, cupped, squeezed, pushed together, before his mouth would replace a hand to suck at your nipple, graze it with his teeth. 

You watch the actor’s mouth coming off the actress’ chest with an audible pop! before diving down again and getting another taste of her. As he does, she pulls up the short skirt she’s wearing until it’s bunched up around her waist, then lays back on the desk. Her fingers dip between her spread legs and you do the same, fingers sliding beneath the fabric of your panties and finally touching yourself. You let out a breathy sound at the contact, dragging some wetness up to roll over your stiff clit.

It's erotic, the idea of yourself laying back like that, tits out, red marks all over them, playing with yourself. You imagine your boss watching, one corner of his mouth pulling up with an amused purse of his lips at your newfound confidence. 

The jiggle of a belt fills your ears, and you watch, enthralled, as the actor’s cock comes into view, bobbing against his stomach when he pulls his pants down to mid thigh. You let out a quiet sound at the sight. He's hard, thick, pink and swollen at the tip. Your friend was right. It's pretty. It fits right with your fantasy. 

Dave would open his belt, pulling it off with quick, rough moves and throwing it aside, before opening his pants to reveal his cock. Your mind can’t help but imagine him the same way, heavy and full, your reaction to it making him give himself a few strokes before taking his place between your legs.

You clench when you hear the actor spit, and an involuntary moan leaves your mouth just when the actress lets out hers. You buck into your own hand, the circles you draw around your clit tightening, speeding up when you feel a familiar pull somewhere below your belly button.

You imagine Dave doing it, spreading your legs and spitting on you, watching it slide down to your opening before smearing his cock through it. It would make him groan when you moan his name in reply to it, giving you the very tip of his cock, both watching as it slips just past that initial bit or resistance. He’d praise your sweet plea’s before you’d even realize they were leaving your lips, and lean down to press a wet, messy kiss to your mouth, slowly sliding into you.

Two fingers slip down, your excitement spiking when you realize how easily the digits can glide inside of yourself. The actors on your screen don’t ease into it, the sound of skin slapping against skin all you can hear. It takes over in your head, matching their pace as you fuck yourself to the idea of Dave’s cock sliding in and out of you.

He’d stretch you open just how you like it, experienced and sure, his fingers digging into your soft hips and using them as leverage to pull you back on his thrusts. His hand would come up on occasion, to paw at your tits just to feel. 

Maybe he’d spank them. 

The office would fill with your muffled moans, mixing in with his whispered approval; how well you’re taking it, how good you feel around him, how he’s been thinking about this ever since you started your internship.

“You like it, baby?” The rough voice in your ear asks. “You like it when I rub your pretty clit?”

Dave’s thumb would slide down the curls above your slit, find your clit to draw circles around it that match the pace he’s fucking you with. Your hushed confirmation would only spur him on, make him fuck you harder.

“Fuck,” you huff, your own thumb mimicking your fantasy, matching every pump of your fingers. You find a good spot with a curl of your fingers, and you concentrate on that.

You’d be a babbling mess. “More. Dave, please. Faster. There–Right fucking there, just like that,” while your fingers desperately claw at his forearms. You’d reach for his tie, twist it around your palm to pull him into a bruising kiss, just how you like it, right before–

“Are you gonna come on this cock?”

You moan into your empty bedroom, nodding to yourself as you find the perfect pace; the swipe of your thumb just so, your fingers hitting something exactly right…

“Fucking do it.”

It shoves you over the edge. Your back comes off the bed, a hand clamping over your mouth to keep yourself from shouting as the walls of your pussy clench desperately around your fingers. You ride it out as quietly as you can, fingers still working until you’re through, and your body falls back against your mattress with a sigh.

In your ears, the scene continues. The actor’s groans mixing in with the actress’ moans until his sounds take over. He pulls out of her roughly, a little laugh escaping him, like he stopped himself just in time.

“Fuck, yeah. Let me taste it, baby,” he says, kneeling at the edge of the desk, pushing his head between the actress’ shaking thighs… 

And between your own legs, your fingers begin moving again.

– – – – –

The next day at work, you’re exhausted and on edge. You’d stayed up far too long, lost in the fantasy, your second orgasm still not enough to douse the arousal coursing through your body. At least your plan had worked: You’d fallen asleep right after–

Suddenly, your name echoes through the hallway. Startled, you look over your shoulder to see mister York's head peek out of the office door. Your eyes lock on his.

"Can I see you in my office, please?"

– – – – – My notes for this were: Oh, god, how can I even use this… “Because you can’t afford a mortgage you just torrent a porn.” WHAT IF it’s about an intern who has a crush on her boss, and later when she watches a movie she pictures herself with this boss.