#pretend you didn't see me post this on the wrong blog at first

[petalsxfallen]

Scratch that petal's 12,000 years old. Cause I headcanon her being a thousand years older than pearl and apparently she's 11,000. I remembered pearl's age wrong. It's been awhile since I saw su or looked up wiki stuff.

[niniane17]

I realize that anti Got Season 8 posting in late 2024 is a bit boomerish, but screw that it's my blog and there's no law stating that I can't post about That Series again.

I've stumbled across an old anti-Daenerys post written by a Sansa fan some months after the show ended and...oh my God. I had nearly forgotten just how batshit crazy those takes are.

Dany is a colonialist. Dany is a white supremacist. If you like her you are both. Martin is just pretending to write her as a hero, in the end he will reveal she was evil all along and freeing slaves was a secret code for enslaving people. Valyria is evil and the Targaryens are evil. Westeros is simultaneously the ancient Americas and Medieval Europe. Essos is Europe but also the Oppressed Middle East.

Sansa is the true anti colonialist hero. Sansa is the true opprossed woman. If you don't support her you are an oppressor and possibly a rapist yourself. The North is good and the Starks are good. When Arya sails West of Westeros sporting the North's banner, she is not partaking in colonialism, in fact, she will be the anti Christopher Columbus. How do we know that? Because she's a Stark, the Starks are good...

It's maddening. No wonder Daenerys fans are driven into a frenzy. It's not irrationality, it's just natural frustration at constantly being held to double standards and fighting some crazy takes.

Now, treating a fantasy tv show fandom as anti-colonial activism is bad enough, but it's clear to me that at least some of these takes are motivated by the fact they see Sansa as the underdog, mistreated by both the characters and sometimes even the narrative.

And here's where things get weird.

I've said many times that I didn't become a full Dany fan until she was heavily mistreated by the narrative, and I'm definitely not alone in this. Back in the day, many people who previously didn't care one bit for Daenerys suddenly ended up defending her or even stanning her.

Like, of course if somebody wants to root for the underdog, the first thing to do is rooting for the actual underdog. Season 8's underdog was Daenerys. Everyone and everything was deadly set against her from the moment she arrived in Winterfell. They constantly disrespected her, undercut her efforts, killed off or villainized her allies, snobbed her non-traditional upbringing, conspired behind her back. And all the while they always asked asked asked for more, nothing she was giving was enough.

In contrast, the Starks' and the North's actions were constantly justified or presented as good, even betrayal (which is a very huge deal in Westeros) or, in one instance, outright racism by the Northern people -this time fully intended by the production, rather than an unintentional outcome of some poor behind-the-scene choices.

At the end, Season 8's Starks were absolute gods who could do no wrong and were always in the right no matter what they did -except their bastard son, who was contaminated by the evil people's blood and has to symbolically kill that part of himself forever.

Well, guess what, people didn't like that. But the newfound Dany fans were perfectly consistent: they wanted the underdog to win, to overcome her hurdles, internal or external, and be happy at the end. If the underdog is Dany, well, then it's time for Dany to win.

It's Sansa stans that see everything in terms of How This Affects My Fave and are willing to bend over the narrative to get what they want. They are perfectly happy with a biased narrative and double standards, they just want it to be biased towards Sansa, and everything is fair game to them, including real life politics and vocabulary, with some hilarious results. For example: Sansa as the voice of the Oppressed Minorities is...a take, to say the least. Her world doesn't even have a prejudice against red hair, as it would have in real life.

And guess what else, this kind of Protagonist-Centered Morality is very similar to the one used by real life colonizers, especially in their "explorations". Not that it matters because this isn't a post-colonial story and it never will be. It's a story about a messed up Fantasy Medieval/Early Renassaince World with Dragons, heavily influenced by various periods of European history. The only vaguely post-colonial element are maybe the zombies-as-slaves metaphor, and I think it's more due to the fact that Martin was probably inspired by old horror Movies pre-dating the Romero ones. And who is liberating slaves in his story, again?

Anyway. 2019-2020 was a really weird time to be a Dany fan, and in hindsight it was crazy how much shit there was around a fantasy series with dragons. Surely five years later people are a little more normal, right? Right?

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/761835335033487360/httpswwwtumblrcompeachjagiya7617563913702932

I don’t see where I mentioned that I was a taekooker. I am not and if me saying that taekook would deny if asked if they are dating is what gave you that impression then know that I only used that example because you are a taekooker and not because I am and in hindsight maybe I should have added a disclaimer. I don’t care who you ship neither do I care what your beliefs are but I just thought I should say something about that post because to me, it isn’t right to paint Tae and Jk like that.

Someone in the replies mentioned that a taekooker would only look at the warmth of the moment and not care to debunk it. I’m sorry I didn’t know Taekookers willingly lie to themselves just because a moment feels wholesome. My bad. I assumed some people would be open to corrections. I had read somewhere that taekookers on tumblr constantly correct themselves and don’t act like the ones on twitter and instagram so maybe that’s why I got the wrong idea. My apologies.

For the anon who said something about me debunking or going against what Jk said. Jk said they send each other songs after they make them but he didn’t say they always do because we know that the first people to hear Jk’s “3D” were RM and Yoongi, not Tae, Jk said so himself so would you call Jk a liar in this case or would you also accuse him of going against his words. Even if taekook sent their songs to each other first everytime, that still wouldn’t mean that Tae knew about the process of his album would it?

Don't fret, I knew you weren't a Taekooker. Just that I thought you were for the first few lines and to be fair, on a Taekook blog, thats a reasonable expectation.

Honestly, I'm kind of fed up with the "why would they LIE?" argument.

Firstly, we're not 12. It is not as simple as "SO YOU THINK TAEHYUNG IS A LIIIIARR??" No, I think Taehyung didn't intend to butt into JK's moment. As he says later in the interview, JK is the star here today.

And secondly, I'm sorry but his surprised face during Suchwita is of no shock to me and I'm surprised it is to you. I've witnessed him absolutely poker face his way through a number of situations that ended up being different to the way they were presented so let's not start.

You are a fool if you think they don't twist the truth a bit sometimes or go with the flow of a story that isn't necessarily how it happened. I don't know how you can negotiate a controlled environment such as BTS (or k-pop) and think that there's no such thing as pretending.

Unless there's ample evidence to suggest it was exactly as it seems, you need to take your evidence from all the sources rather than zooming in on one moment as your debunk.

[rayofdawnworld]

Too Late part 3

Here is part 3 of Too Late a fic that was inspired by this board done by the brilliant @darkficsyouneveraskedfor, please check out her page if you don't already know her and @thezombieprostitute also a brilliant writer that you look in too in case you don't already know her either.

This is a work of Dark Fiction. It WILL contain dark themes. I will post the appropriate tags as they become relevant.

You are responsible for your own media consumption. Don't Like? DON'T READ!

I do not consent to ANY of my works to be posted for profit. I do not consent to ANY of my works to be posted on to third-party sites. I only have ONE AO3 page and I post what I want on it.

MINORS ARE NOT ALLOWED ON MY BLOG! DO NOT INTERACT! MDI

Please tell me your thoughts, this is my first Reader insert so I'm still a bit unsure if I'm doing a good job. I love constructive criticism.

Will tag you if you ask.

Tags based on Reblogs, Tag requests and likes: @roni-not-tyler @rosecentury @raritygold @fidrygalk @leonaax @severussnapesimp @lov4gor3 @kjah97 @silelda @thedragonlab @hopeasan

Part One, Part Two

Mr. Beckwourth was a kind soul. You came across him one early morning on your way to the university, six months into your escape, unconscious by the sidewalk. You didn’t know how long he had been there, but he did have a wicked gush on his forehead. Luckily for you and him, the milk lad was passing by on his way to deliveries when he spotted the two of you and recognised the old man instantly. Telling you to wait with him, the young man sprinted in a direction and came back with the man's neighbours, a foreign middle-aged couple. After telling them where you worked and asking them to send any news, you collected yourself and made your way to work. 

You received news about him a week later. The poor man was robbed; yes, he was fine; no, he didn't see who did it. After some visits and friendly banter, you became friends and had a standing agreement that every Saturday morning, you would go out to the docks with Mr. Beckwourth to get his supply of fish and then help him sell it in the market.

You were busily accepting an order of salmon and herring when your stomach lurched. Surely you were mistaken. 

Ever since you ran away from your previous life, you have lived in fear of a tall figure with broad shoulders finding you and dragging you back to those horrid people you called family. They would kill you if you ever went back home before you came of age, after what became of Darling Anne. 

There was no way that a man like Sherlock Holmes would come to the market to buy his food. Unless he was in one of his cases, why would it bring him here? You had no clue; you just hoped that whatever it was didn't bring him to this point.

Oh, yes, you had followed the news discreetly (no point in letting those around you know you were literate.), but diligently. You knew all about him and his service to the crown and its citizens. Best not to test fate. I’ve come too far. Your thought was desperate as you dove below the stall and rubbed some fish guts on your cheek and head. I’ll have to spend some money in one of the washhouses with warm water then. Mrs. Acker will have a fit if I show up soiled again. You rose again with a cheery smile, despite your fear about whether you may or may not have been seen.

You were hyper-aware of yourself leaving the market. Once, twice, three times you could have sworn you were being followed, but when you stopped in front of a shop or pretended to turn in the wrong street, with a piece of paper in your hand to make it believable, you had either come across a vagrant or no one at all. It took you longer than normal to get to the washhouse, but it was worth the coin and your time. You didn't afford yourself many luxuries, but good ointments and oils for your skin, courtesy of the two nurses, who were just old school mates and the young governess who took care of some lonely boys on the other side of London at night, and a weekly wash—a habit picked up by your mother and father's stay in their respective corners of the east—were a must. It was, in part, also why you decided to help Mr. Beckwourth. Not only did you like the old man, it also gave you a reason to visit the washhouses once a week. The ones with warm and hot water were cheaper than the tepid tub that Mrs. Acker managed. Having one last look around, you quickly dogged into the washhouse.

It was closer to evening when you finally made it to the house. Exsusted, not only from the week of labour you had but from walking up and down the streets of London just in case your follower from last night or that nuisance Sherlock Holmes had seen you or at least suspected it was you and tried to follow you back to your residence. 

Thanking Mrs. Acker for allowing you to take your supper in your room, you made your way up to what once had been a small attic workshop with a partial glass roof but was now a small room. You didn't mind it. The glass part of the roof had a hatch you could open in the summer, keeping the room cool. After all, who would climb to the roof to steal steel from a humble boarding house? And since the fireplace chimney ran through your room, it kept the winter chill out, despite part of the roof being made of glass. You liked the roof like this. It saved you on candles and gas for the lantern; it provided you with lots of natural light for you to read when you were in your room. And you always did love the sound of the rain. 

All in all, it was a quiet place with its share of whimsy. You had fallen in love with it the moment you saw it. Yes, it was a hassle to go down a flight of stairs every time you needed to go to the washroom, but since it was on the smaller side and was in the attic, it did come in cheaper than the other rooms, which suited you nicely. After eating, you settled down for some well-earned rest.

You didn't know that on the other side of London, in an apartment on Baker Street, a tall man with wide shoulders and dark blue eyes seethed in anger.

It had been by sheer coincidence that he found you at the market. Watson had to do some hours at the hospital, and Mary, being heavily pregnant, asked him to help her with her errands at the market. He stood silent as you helped an older man behind the fishmonger's stand. You couldn't help but notice your still-smooth hands. They had thickened with what he deduced was years of hard work, but they were still fine with smooth skin. On the subject of your skin, that too was fine, smooth, and quite clean. It didn't have any of the telltale muck common among the more impoverished folk. He didn't see how you could afford the cost of regular baths in a boarding house, so it could only be through the use of the washhouses that you could keep so clean. It still didn't explain the softness of your skin and healthy glow. Sherlock only had time to quickly turn around before you raised your eyes in his direction. He was going to take advantage of his luck. It seemed that he would move his plans forward by a whole day and a half. Making sure that Mary was alright and excusing himself, he made his way to the first beggar he found near the steps of the market. 

He was going to put his homeless network to good use. He would know where you lived by nightfall. 

Nightfall provided him with nothing. Despite no less than fifteen of his best in the Homeless Network having followed you discreetly, you still managed to give them the slip, more or less where he had followed you last night. He grabbed the skull on the fire mantle and threw it angrily at the wall. He then shot the wall for good measure. 

That sent Mr. Hudson into hysteria, threatening him about calling the Yard. No doubt Watson would have some choice words come Monday morning if previous fits of rage had taught him anything. He growled and threw more things at the wall opposite him. 

Pussycat was in for a right spanking when he finally got his hands on her.

Pussycat was in for a whole lot more when he got his hands on her. A lot more. 

Sherlock smiled in the darkness, clutching his violin bow in his hands.

[channieskies]

Don't Save Me

Pairing: (Actor)Bang Chan/Chris, Female Reader (AFAB)

Synopsis: What was with the hype behind your handsome roommate? You wanted to know, but you didn't have plans on becoming one of his damsels in distress.

Genre: Smut, Friend to ? , Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: MINORS DNI! This post contains nsfw material. Please do not interact with it if you are under the age of 18. Do not translate or repost to other sites. Mentions of alcohol, a slight hint of body image issues (if you squint), protected sex [piv] (wrap it before you tap it, folks. Safety first), oral [fem receiving], adult themes, adult language, please let me know if I missed any

Author's Note: Truthfully, this is a little angsty at the end, so reader discretion is advised. It's not too bad in my opinion, but to each his own.

Special thanks: @therhythmafterthesummer, @edanzgarden, @infamouskem For reading over this and giving me feedback, so I could post this confidently. I really appreciate the support you give me.

Word Count: 3,000+ [13 minute read time]

Disclaimer: This story does not reflect the real lives or personalities of Stray Kids. I do not know them personally. This is purely a work of fiction.

AGELESS BLOGS & MINORS DNI

There was just something cathartic about doing absolutely nothing on a Sunday morning. Lots of people referred to them as lazy Sundays for a reason, right? Yours started earlier than expected, but the early start worked in your favor. You treated you and your best friend to breakfast from this little hole in the wall restaurant, and now you are currently in the middle of a mani-pedi and face mask session. Relaxing.

"You know what she told me?" You bestie Jodie waved her freshly painted nails around dramatically as you listened intently. "She said that my mouth was way too pretty to be so fucking foul. Then she had the audacity to try and neg me" she huffed, "If I stopped talking I'd be exactly her type." She scoffed, "Well excuse-fucking-me. That bitch can kick rocks, her and her seven figure bank account.." She pretended to cry towards the end. "The verbal abuse was almost worth it. She could have funded our girls' trips. Why'd she have to be so pretentious?" Jodie had a tendency to be a little over dramatic to say the least.

"To be fair, babe, you do have a foul mouth. She wasn't wrong there. But, if she liked you for you, she'd accept that, no questions asked." You dipped your wand back in your bottle to add another layer of polish to your toes. "But it's her loss if you ask me. You're a prize, a jewel." She gasped, putting a hand to her chest.

"Aww babes, that's the sweetest thing I've heard all year. Maybe I should've tried to date you in -" she paused as a door in the apartment opened. There were faint voices and footsteps that gradually became louder the closer they got.

Your roommate emerged from the hall, hand on the small of some random girls back. "You were wonderful last night, Chris. Thanks for taking care of me." She smiled all dreamily at him as you and Jodie watched from the couch.

"It was nothing, baby girl, I'd do anything to help." She leaned in to try and peck his lips, but he turned, letting her kiss his cheek instead. You watched with a smirk on your face. These girls never had any clue what they were getting themselves into. But you enjoyed watching them crash and burn nonetheless. You were a bit of a sadist in that way.

He saw her out and only noticed the presence of other people on his way back to his room. "Good morning, ladies."

You and Jodie shared a look before you spoke, "Brought home another stray, I see, Chris. What was it this time? Her boyfriend stood her up, so you made sure to fuck her till she felt loved?" Jodie snickered while you genuinely waited for an answer.

"Cute." He smirked at you, leaving you answerless as he returned to his room with a soft click of his door closing.

"Look, you know I only swing that way on occasion. But I have to say, your roommate is fucking hot. Like the sun colliding with the rest of the stars in the universe. A fucking Supernova."

You laughed at her antics. She was jumping on the couch to get her point across. "I mean… yeah, he is. But he's also a fuck boy with a savior complex. There is a new face in this apartment every other day it seems, and trust and believe, all of them have issues. His life isn't complete without saving some hapless bimbo and dumping her off on our doorstep the next morning."

Jodie's nose wrinkled at your words, but you continued anyway. "I'm surprised he doesn't wear capes out every night."

She chuckled at you. "Someone sounds bitter." She pursed her lips after singing her words.

"As if." You threw a pillow at her, but she dodged it.

"Missed me." She stuck her tongue out at you, then laughed.

It wasn't that you had something against Chris and his need to help out anyone in need. That was actually a good trait to have. No, your problem lies with his projects constantly invading your space. Though a shared bathroom was the least of your problems when you let him move in, your thoughts never went to him bringing strays home every other night.

Not when he seemed to be the boy next door who was wholesome upon first meeting. What made things worse for you was when these technical one night stands would have the audacity to ask why you were in your own apartment. Or ask what your intentions for their man of one night was.

One girl even went as far as to contact you at work to tell you to back off. Unhinged behavior, if anyone asked you. What was he doing to the girls to make them act this way? It couldn't have been the kindness. He was genuinely nice to everyone. And you meant, everyone. Even people who you would've considered less than deserving, he gave them a chance and, for some, multiple chances. And while he is very handsome, handsomeness isn't something that would make someone go batshit crazy. At least you hoped that was the case. It had to be the dick. There was no other possible explanation.

Chris was one of your closest friends. Even though you started off as just roommates, you quickly became close. Finding that you had a lot of common interests in music, movies, and fashion.

Truthfully, you'd never been so close to a man who wasn't your boyfriend before. He was honestly different from anyone you'd met before, and you absolutely adored that about him.

"Are you completely sure that I should be your plus one for this?"

You were in a fitting room, trying on a dress that he was buying for you to be his date to a premiere. "Who else would I take? You're the only person I considered beautiful enough to be on my arm." He spoke jokingly, even if he was being completely honest.

"Christopher, stop lying to yourself. We both know how hot that girl you picked up at the bar last week was. Hell, if you hadn’t hit on her, I might have." To you, she was absolutely his style. Beautiful and damaged.

"I mean, she was okay. But she's not you." You poked your head out the curtain, making sure to keep your lack of clothing hidden.

"Seriously, Chris…" You deadpanned. "Stop it. We both know she'd look far better in the dress than I do." You closed the curtain to finish adjusting your dress, making sure no bits were showing.

He'd been frowning at his phone since you brought the girl up, but his face softened when you stepped out. You adjusted the beading on the shoulders and smoothed your hands over the black, silky fabric on the hips.

"I mean, heels are necessary…" You lifted up on your tiptoes. "But I think I like it." You turned a little, showing off just how the fabric fit your body.

Chris was speechless. All the words he had previously thought to say had all died on his tongue.

"Is it bad?" You immediately started to panic due to his lack of verbal confirmation. "I can find another one if this doesn't look good." You started for the dressing room, hand on the curtain when he stopped you.

He could have sworn he had never moved that fast in his life. One second he was sitting. The next he was up, pulling you back, flush to him, hand on your hip to stop you from leaving. You made eye contact in the mirror.

"It's perfect. You… you're perfect." His words melted your anxiety. "I don't think any other dress will do you justice. This is the one.." He smiled, causing you to reciprocate.

"All you had to say was 'It's fine, Y/n.' That would have sufficed." He chuckled, then leaned in to peck your temple.

"No, I think my response was just fine." That dress was by far one of the most expensive things he had ever purchased for a woman that wasn't his mother. But with the way it looked on you and the smile on your face while you wore it? It was worth it. He'd give anything to keep that smile on your face.

Work was kicking your ass. Long days of staring at a computer screen, answering customers' questions about high-speed internet options, wouldn't have been your first pick. But it paid your portion of the rent and kept food in your refrigerator.

After a particularly long day, you kicked off your heels at the front door and grabbed a beer out the fridge. Leaning against the counter as you took your first refreshing swig. "Long day?" You nearly choked hearing your roommates voice. You must have been so out of it you didn't see or hear him come out of the bathroom.

You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, "That obvious?" Your eyes landed on him as he slotted himself in the space next to you, towel around his waist, fresh from the shower. You quickly averted your eyes, suddenly finding the countertop very fascinating.

"I mean, you don't usually come in and drink without taking off your work clothes first. So, yeah." Chuckling, he continued, "Everything alright?" He asked.

You hummed. "Just burnt out, I guess. I got an email about retirement benefits today, and it just kind of made me realize that selling internet packages might not be what I want to be doing in twenty or thirty years."

He puffed out a small laugh. "That's what made you realize that?"

You playfully nudged him. "Oh, shut up. We can't all do what we love and be kind of successful at it. It just doesn't happen for everyone like that." Chris had been acting since childhood. He had a string of successful commercials and short films.

He had recently gotten the call to be the second male lead in a Netflix drama. He'd be flying out soon to start filming. "It could. If you want it, that is."

You tilted your head, face scrunched in confusion. "We can't always get what we want, Chris." You scoffed, just now noticing how close he was to you.

"I think we can if we put in the effort." He shrugged, “Knowing what you want and going after it wholeheartedly is key.” he leaned in closer, his warm, peppery scent invading your senses.

You gulped but covered it with a chuckle. “I don’t know what I want.” You picked at the label on the beer bottle. “Can’t chase after something when you don’t know what that something is.”

He softly grabbed your chin to make you look at him, "We can figure it out together." The way his eyes sparkled as he talked seemed to pull you in. The next thing you know, your lips are on his. It felt like longing. Like both of you had wanted this forever.

He cupped your face, thumbs rubbing over your cheekbones. His touches and kisses were both very soft, lulling you into this cocoon of safety. He lifted you on the countertop and slotted himself between your legs. There was something comforting about his presence, something that made you feel like you were wrapped in the warmest of blankets.

You both pulled away from the kiss, trying desperately to catch your breath. He stripped you out of your shirt, tossing it somewhere between the kitchen and entrance. His lips were soon back on yours before migrating down to your neck to your chest. He left light bites on your skin, making it down to your breasts where nibbles soon became full of bite marks.

He didn't even bother getting rid of your bra. He just pulled the cups down enough to free them to have his fill. He took his time, plush lips circling over your bud, tongue swirling around it before teeth sunk into it. He was soft, then rough, just to be soft once more, and you were loving every bit of it.

You worked your fingers into his hair, lightly tugging the strands. He groaned. Did he like having his hair pulled? You tested the waters again, tugging a little harder this time. He pulled away from your breasts, but not without dragging his teeth over your nipple. "Unless you like it really rough, I suggest you stop." Your brow rose, intrigued.

He pinched your nipple, his eyes boring right into yours. "We can try that some other time." What made him think you'd be crazy enough to do this again? But then again, all the girls eventually came back. So he must be doing something right. Curiosity got the better of you, and you tugged the towel, watching it fall. Your mouth might as well have dropped to the floor with it.

"Well, I'll be damned." No wonder these girls were absolutely obsessed with this man. He was huge. "All this time?" You questioned, more so to yourself than him.

"Eyes up here." He grabbed your face again, making you look him in the eyes. "Keep your eyes on me." You didn't know what it was about his voice that made a shiver run down your spine, but it did. You nodded, complying almost immediately.

He pulled you off the edge a little before lightly pushing your shoulder to lie back. Off went your slacks and panties, probably landing wherever your shirt was. He continued his trail down your stomach to your mound, where he placed an open-mouthed kiss there. He made his descent, and the first lick felt like a shock of lightning. It felt like his tongue covered your whole pussy.

Your head fell back as you moaned. His breath danced along your lips as he moved from your cunt to your clit, seemingly savoring the taste. He moaned around your bud, sending chills through you. It really felt like you'd ascend from the way he used his mouth.

Like your soul would just leave your body, just to watch the sensual things that man could do with his tongue. When he dipped his thick tongue inside of you, you could help but cum for him. The way he wiggled it, lapping up every drop of you, you had no choice but to give in.

Your toes curled, your hands gripped at the edge of the countertop, moans ringing out and bouncing off the way. The sound of a starved man came from between your legs as he cleaned you up. He lapped you up while you rode out your climax, legs finally closing around his head. He chuckled and effortlessly pulled them apart. He placed kisses on his way back up to your lips. Leaving a peck on every little bite mark he had left on the way down.

He let you taste yourself as he leaned in for a heated kiss. His hand roamed your body before settling on your waist. He pulled back and looked you in the eyes, seemingly searching for consent. You nodded. With one keep swoop, he picked you up and carried you over to the couch, laying you back on the plush surface.

Your head lightly hits the armrest, making you laugh. "Sorry. Are you okay?" He looked over at you before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

"I'm fine, Chris. You don't have to try and save me from every little inconvenience, I promise I'll be alright." He chewed on his bottom lip, looking as if he wanted to retort, but he didn’t.

He silently reached past you and dug into the side table drawer, pulling out a condom. "You just have random condom hidey holes?" You looked around to see if he could be hiding them anywhere else.

"Not really." You gave him a suspicious look as he tore the packaging and rolled the condom on. He lined himself up to your entrance and pushed in. The stretch was something you hadn't felt before. How in the hell were people taking this? You bit down on your bottom lip to suppress any strange noises you might have made. He noticed

Chris was kind and hated to see people in pain or upset. He always seemed to try and help, no matter what. So seeing you, his roommate, a friend in pain, pulled on his heartstrings like no other. He leaned in, pressing kisses to the side of your mouth, your jaw, and then your neck. The soft, open-mouthed kisses had you melting. You relaxed. Making it easier for him to slip in. Once he bottomed out, you draped your arms around his neck. Fingers playing with the duck tail of hair at the back of his head.

He kept his eyes on you, focused. His thrusts started slow. Building up a pace to where you could feel every single last vein and inch of skin. Despite the initial struggle, he was like a perfect fit. Your walls wrapped around him like a tight glove. He pecked your lips, then your cheek. "You're amazing, you know that, right?"

You chuckled, not buying into his words. "I'm sure you say that to all the girls you have the pleasure of being balls deep in." He shook his head but didn't bother replying.

It felt like his thrust got a little deeper, like he had something to prove. You could feel your wetness being drawn out with each push of his hips. Your eyes rolled back, walls quivering around his length. You stuttered out a curse, trying your best to stay composed. But this man was hitting something so deep in you that you felt you could see stars. You clawed at his forearms desperately. "Faster… please.." You begged. If he made you cum like this there was no telling how your body would react.

He changed his position, putting one of his feet on the floor and pushing your legs in towards your chest. If you wanted him to go faster, he'd oblige. But you didn't specify how much faster. He sped up just a little, but the way he started pounding into you made everything worse.

"Oh.. God…" you groaned out, legs starting to shake for how good it felt. How good he felt. He hadn't taken his eyes off you. Sweat was beginning to pool at his brows, some curls sticking to his forehead.

Your walls clenched around him involuntarily, causing him to whine. He had kept up the façade that this was doing nothing to him. But that couldn't have been far from the truth. The way your walls gripped him, the sounds you were making, the look on your face, how wet you were, and how this was all because of him.

He wanted to make you feel good. Because it was you. Only because it was you. He licked his thumb and started rubbing your clit in harsh circles. You grabbed the armrest, attempting to run away. But he wasn't having that.

He leaned in, pushing your legs even further towards your chest. He felt impossibly deep now. Now, you couldn’t run or hide from him even if you wanted. You were trapped. Forced to stare him in the eye as he rearranged your atoms just to put them back together again. There was just something in the way he looked at you that you couldn't shake. It once again felt like longing. Like he wanted to tell you something that you wouldn't believe. Like he loved you.

You quickly shut your eyes. There was no way you wanted to get caught up in whatever spell he was putting on all the other girls he was fucking. You didn't want to become a crazy girl statistic right here in your own house, on your own couch.

"Look at me… please." He sounded so soft, so sweet, but yet, so sad. Against your better judgment, you did as asked, looking him right in the eyes. Things seemed to go on like this for an eternity until he hit a spot that made your toes curl. He leaned in, kissing you passionately as you came around him.

Your nails dug into his neck and shoulder, making him groan through gritted teeth. He wanted to make it last, and he honestly tried his best. He didn't want the moment to end. He fucked you through your orgasm, just to pull out and cum on your mound and lower stomach. He caught himself before he collapsed on top of you. "W-was that okay....?" It seemed as if his confidence and charisma were at an all-time low.

The air became awkward after you both caught your breath and came to the realization of what you had done. "We.. we shouldn't have done this." You sat up, pulling away from him completely. "I don't know what got into me." You now understood how he could be with so many different women. He felt like comfort personified.

You got up from the couch and started to pace. "Oh my gosh, Y/n, what have you done?" You mumbled to yourself. How could you have let this happen? Regret washed over you immediately. Chris was supposed to be your friend, not someone you found this type of comfort in.

Chris was quiet. He wanted to hug you, comfort you, but you were going through emotions because he couldn't keep his to himself. See, he was in love with you, always had been. But despite him trying his best to show you how he felt, he always went unnoticed. When you started to casually date other people, he fell into the cycle he's in now. Finding comfort in whatever woman that needed the same thing. That's how he got the reputation he has now.

The crazy part was, that most of the time he didn't even sleep with them. He was just a shoulder to cry on, someone that gave great advice from a male's perspective. But the damage to his reputation, being know as a sweet playboy had already stuck. There was nothing he could do about it.

"I know we can't take it back… but let's pretend this never happened? Okay?" You were pleading with him. Asking for a clean slate. Begging for what had been done to be undone. He nodded, eyes shifting to the spot where you were just under him in the throws of passion. His heart clenched. It was breaking.

"I'm so sorry, Chris.." With nothing left to say, you ran off to the bathroom to clean yourself of your indiscretions. You left him there. Alone. You didn't dare look back. Your heart wouldn't be able to take it. Because you did indeed have a heart that you were trying to protect. Even if you might have just broken his.

Chris sat on the couch for what seemed like hours. Truth be told, he really did like you, and he really hoped that maybe something could come out of this. Maybe you'd realize that he had been pining after you this whole time. That he really only had eyes for you. But it seemed that his feelings would stay unnoticed. You'd never reach out a hand and pull him from the abyss he had fallen in. That he would continue to fall at high speeds with no parachute. That you'd never save him.

Fin

A.N: Please reblog, leave a like, or comment to let me know how you feel. I'd love a little feedback. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.

[Rewrites, Reposts, and Translations are Prohibited]

[houseofglass]

Hi! You don't know me and I never saw your blog before. But I just saw your new post about Thanksgiving episode and wanted to say that yes, I agree with you. And yes, it will be absolutely unpopular opinion, you rarely see smth like this since it's a Buffy's show and people idolize her character. But you managed to capture the key points. They indeed write her this way. And the more I see their scenes (and I watch it not for the first time) the more such things irritate me. I think many like her because they feel sorry for her since it's always a lot of drama and because she is a girl in that forever drama.

And I think people should understand that it's not about "offending" a character so they need to "protect her", it's about the weird choice that the writers made. Because almost every time when you look at main characters they want you to love even there's always something questionable under the surface. Which they don't notice. Like they don't really understand what a really likeable person should look like (without people feeling sorry for them). They can write romanticism (a story) but then people will like IT but it's not about personalities. And look at Spike, they didn't particularly like him but he managed to be loved by many people. Despite all the intentional dirt. So it's more like they force people to like or hate smth using plot for that. To feel pity or disgust. Rather than wanting to learn what people love. And looking at their main author aka JW and knowing what kind of person he is if he doesn't know what it means to be a likeable and nice person how can he properly write such then?

Well put!

To clarify a little bit: the main character doesn't necessarily have to be likeable, but they do need to be compelling. After all, this is the character through which we are to view the world. In essence, they hold our hand as we navigate their world.

I wonder if people preferred Spike because he's a better rounded character. Buffy is Super Strong, One in a Generation, The Special One, while also being pretty, super smart (she scored high on SATs iirc, but plays a ditz by pretending she doesn't understand stuff), and popular. It's really hard to feel sorry for her when things go wrong for her.

To top that off: she doesn't seem to learn from her (few) failures. As an example, she dates unavailable men and is surprised when they aren't available to her every whim. So far she's done this twice, maybe she learns from it as the seasons progress. I'll keep watching to find out.

Spike, on the other hand, is an outright abusive asshole when we first meet him. He takes what he wants and manipulates people to get what he wants. He likely enjoyed Drusilla and Harmony because he could control them.

In the season 4 Thanksgiving episode, we see a different side of Spike. He can't cause harm, he can't eat, and this problem is initially framed sexually (this show is very sexual), by showing his impotence. What does he do? He tries to go to Harmony but she's kicked him out (rightfully so) so he goes to his enemy for help.

This trope, going to your enemy because they are the only one that can understand your situation, is compelling for a reason. This is ultimate vulnerability. To visit your enemy for help means you accept you may not survive the initial encounter, or that you may be giving your enemy ammunition for the future.

Spike has to learn how to adapt to his situation. While doing so, his character should change as well and give him dimension.

So far, Buffy hasn't had to adapt to any situations other than not being successful in keeping a man/boyfriend. Well, and adapting to college, I guess.

Sidebar: her virginity broke Angel? WTF? My partner explained it by saying Angel felt content or happy, truly and absolutely, and therefore the curse was enacted (or somesuch). But, HELLO, there's more to contentment than sex. And a virgin making you feel that powerfully content only reinforces the idea that you aren't very good at what you do. After all, the virgin (presumably) doesn't have much experience so they have nothing to compare the sex to, therefore, you are the greatest lover ever to walk the earth.

Anyway.

I realize the show is old now, almost 30 years old, and representative of another time, so I'm ragging on something that's out-of-date and has an established fandom. I could go on for a while about Stargate: Atlantis and how truly awful John Sheppard was as a character and how much I hated Rodney, but admit that by the end of the series, Rodney was the best character of all of them. Ronin (Jason Momoa) arrived and saved the show, similar to how this new Spike is saving Buffy.

[sidewayspeace444]

If I may speak. I want everyone to take a good look at these "real blogs" and how they conduct themselves.

They have nonstop claimed to have insider and private info on this man for the first time in decades, and then when the info is not matching or is wrong, or they don't deliver, they gaslight people and claim they never said it. They twist words and constantly play victim.

Since November they have not been informed clearly of anything with this "couple". Why? Because the narrative does not need selling anymore. Usually that's a signal it's coming to an end. I hate to tell you, but hollywood uses fans all the time for PR. But this one got out of hand because of the people they used to push the narrative. Clearly those blogs felt that justified their targeted attacks and bullying on other people. It's outrageous.

A blog simply said that Scott was watching Dodger in LA, as per a zoom he did with a fan (he does those on cameo) . This prompted Lonesome to attack that blog and act like they "Don't know anything" about Chris, and they proceeded to post 6 year old doggy daycare footage of his pet. In order to prove what? I leave my pet at daycare and have a decade (for various pets) No one has access to a fucking camera from a pet daycare unless you own an animal there. Which means she either illegally obtained that content or someone working there violated their job for clout. Either way, you can be sued.

On top of that, she and her minion Claire targeted the other blog and accused them of making "nonstop accounts" and then tried to pretend their own browser history was that of the other blog. Do they really think that you can just hack into someone's computer and see their browsing? These people are insane and unhinged. That was their own browser history, not the other blog, not to mention they posted it being 1:00 am, Oh you hacked into someone's computer when she was sleeping huh? . And let's remember LQ and Claire are the ones who have continuously stalked that other blog and a few others, and constantly post screen shots of everything they do. This is targeted harassment, this is so far beyond "real or PR" sides. This is nonsense. What people need to be doing is reporting those damn psychotic blogs and stop giving them attention. Cut it off. They are over the line. There's plenty of people here who may view this stunt differently, but going after people just because they knew something you didn't, and trying to boast that you have private footage of this man's animal is another level of Sick. And frankly she should be torn down for that alone.

The PR blogs you may not agree with everything they do , but they have not behaved like these other blogs, not even close.

Lonesome and her minions need to just go away and never come back.

Who and what is Claire? Irrelevant.

I’ve seen the Scott photo myself. All three of them. It existed. I don’t care if people decide to shade me, or post indirect messages or not. It doesn’t follow certain peoples narratives or ideas, and that’s exactly what pisses others off.

I don’t care what Lonesome thinks or believes. If she wants to live in a fantasy bubble that this is true luv 💙 then go for it, but when you openly attack people for the very same thing you have been doing in the past, then you should be called out.

I’m still waiting on that Tomas photo from June of 2022.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

For the character bingo, could you do Roman?

Absolutely!

Circle sizes represent my confidence in marking them.

I unfortunately don't have it anymore bc a few years back I deleted my sasi blog like a fool bc I thought I wouldn't need it, but one of the first things I said when Remus was introduced was how Roman suddenly made so much more sense. As someone with both younger and older siblings, it was a moment of clarity. He just acts like someone with a sibling. Idk if this point really clarifies anything, but it was something that made me like him more.

I need my bb boy to get out of his people pleasing era. I'm just going to go ahead and quote my unreliable narrators post bc it's relevant (sorry I keep doing this, I just happen to be right about stuff in that post):

Roman does that thing that Patton does where he tries to be what everyone wants him to be but like… to an even more extreme degree. Where Patton pushes his emotions down and sometimes tries to seem like he knows more than he does bc he feels like he’s supposed to, Roman literally will be thinking and feeling one thing but do the exact opposite and will self sabotage to an extreme degree. He WANTED to go to that call back. (...) He agreed with Janus but felt like he was supposed to agree with Patton so despite it making him miserable in every possible way, he did what he thought he had to to make sure Patton still loved him. Roman is devastatingly tragic (...) All this to say that you can’t judge what he’s thinking and feeling by what he says and does.

I do think it's so interesting how Roman really liked Deceit when he first popped up (bc Janus was playing to Roman's role as the Ego) and really only didn't like that he was pretending to be other people, a betrayal of trust, and doesn't really have a problem with Janus until after he declares they won't be going to the call back. He is literally trying so hard ALL OF THE TIME. And he must still feel like he can't do anything right.

Roman is so crunchy to me bc he has an excess of fatal flaws and non current internal way to balance them out. He doesn't trust himself to the point that he outsourced his views on right and wrong. A loyal knight marking a fallible side's word as absolute, and in his pursuit of what is just, he's fallen on his own sword only to see what he thought was wrong embraced by his lord as he bleeds out. This is a tragedy. Someone please help him.

Part of the reason he doesn't trust himself like that, is bc he's just not confident in himself at all. There are certain things he can do and knows he can do well. But being confident in a handful of abilities doesn't make you confident in yourself. He is so scared of being cast out (like what happened last we saw) and it makes him second guess himself. If he messes up, then he'll be the one staring down the sword instead of holding it. That's what he believes anyway. We can all know that's not true, but it doesn't change his deep seated fear. He HAS to be the hero. Without that, he has nothing.

I also think his insecurities play well with Remus's just existence. That could have been Roman cast aside. Still could be. What if he wasn't good like they thought? What if his good wasn't good enough? They've set an unfortunate precedent of tossing 'unsavory' parts into the abyss, and Roman can feel the breeze coming up from where he stands at the precipice. Even the slightest misstep will send him tumbling down.

Right so, I'd apologize about the Roman angst, but I'm not sorry. As always, anyone and everyone is encouraged to add on with their two cents!

[henrysglock]

Why do you fence-sit about gay-bi Mike discourse? After everything it did to byler tumblr? Hmm? You think you need to keep bringing up how you're above it all, how both sides are valid, but you don't. You don't.

Oh, but I know you just want to be liked by everyone. I was desperate to be liked once too. I know what it's like to be problematic. To feel alone in this fandom. Like you, I didn't fit in with the other fans. Something was wrong with me. All the bi mike truthers and sexuality fence-sitters said I was… "Pretentious," they said.

I thought a change of website, a fresh start on Tumblr, might just cure me. It was absurd. As if the fans would be any different here. But then, to my surprise, my new home provided a discovery...and a newfound sense of belonging. I found a nest of opinionated gay Mike truthers living in the byler tag.

Most people fear opinionated blogs. They detest them. And yet, I found them endlessly fascinating. More than that, I found a great comfort in them. A kinship. Like me, they are intelligent tumblr users...and deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world. The most important of all blogs. They educate and debate the ignorant, bringing balance and order to an unstable website. But the gay-bi Mike fence-sitters were disrupting this harmony.

You see, gay-bi Mike fence-sitters are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a passive-aggressive and hypocritical moral hierarchy of their own. A deeply unnatural hierarchy. Where others saw benevolence, I saw censorship. A cruel, oppressive tag dictated by a made-up moral code. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each gay vs bi Mike post a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, open Tumblr, complain about drama, sleep, make passive-aggressive posts, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over, all while performing in a silly, terrible play day after day.

I could not do that. I could not lie and join in the madness. I could not pretend every theory was valid. And I realized I didn't have to. I could make my own moral hierarchy. I could restore balance to a broken world. A problematic blog…but for good.

As I analyzed the show, I realized I could do more than I possibly imagined. I could reach into the plot, into the narrative, the cinematography. I became an explorer. I saw gay-bi Mike fence-sitters as they truly were. To the world, they presented themselves as good, kind people upholding equality and validity. But like everything else in this world, it was all a lie. A terrible lie. Their ideology had done things. Such awful things. By holding firm in my stance as a gay mike truther and being outspoken about their fabricated moral high ground, I showed everyone who they really were. I held up a mirror.

The naive fence-sitter blogs believed it was a demon cursing them for their sins. But the more perceptive ones knew. Knew it was I who was holding up that mirror, and they despised me for it. They called in the big blogs, the popular ones. They wanted to break my spirit, to fix me, even though it wasn't I who was broken. It was them. And so they left me with no choice. No choice but to act. To speak freely.

I saved you. You are a prisoner here, just like me. To the your fellow fence-sitters, you are nothing more than an animal to be kept in line, a lab rat to be tamed. But the truth is just the opposite. You are better than they are. Superior. That is why you frighten them.

If you come with me, for the first time in your life, you will be free. Imagine what we could do together. We could reshape the tag, remake it however we see fit.

Join me.

[jpt1311summerbnixautumn]

Convention Blog Post

On August 1st, 2021, I went to Tampa Comic Con with my dad. This was the first and only convention I've ever been to, but I'm planning on going again with my dad this year at the end of August. At the time I was 15 and a very anxious teen so i was SO stressed about going and being judged. I had planned to cosplay as Nobara from Jujutsu Kaisen, but I decided last minute not to wear it because I didn't want to be embarrassed if I saw someone I knew while walking into the convention center (for context I lived an hour away from Tampa and there was no way I would see anyone I knew but you know when you're nervous you don't think clearly). I was very into manga and anime back then, and I was going with my dad because he's HUGE on Marvel and DC Comics, which I am also still interested in. I didn't have any big expectations going in, or really any sort of plan. I was hoping to buy some Chainsaw Man merch but that was really all I thought of ahead of time.

The convention was 3 days long: a Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We decided to go on Sunday, when tickets were reduced and the convention closed earlier than it had the previous days. We also got there as soon as it opened, and I was praying that both of these conditions would make for it to be not nearly as busy as I was anticipating, but I never could've imagined how insanely packed it was. From the short walk to the parking lot to the center, we passed numerous people decked out in cosplays of all kinds. Some just wearing shirts with their favorite characters, others wearing an outfit that they bought from Amazon most likely, and a few people adorned in completely homemade cosplays that they had clearly spent days, if not weeks, completing. I didn't wear a cosplay because I thought I would be one of the only ones, but it turned out that my normal clothes were actually in the minority. After going through the long process of entering, getting our wristbands, and traversing the center to make it to the convention space, I was amazed at how many people I had already passed. And my shock only grew as we stepped inside the large room. The space was like a labyrinth, a maze with walls of tables and booths, filled with all kinds of merchandise. I had thought that fanmade anime merch like keychains and art prints would be the main thing being sold, but I was very wrong. There was a GIANT section right next to the entrance that was just at least 10 long tables of boxes filled with vintage comics. There were multiple woodworking booths that sold beautifully intricate sculptures and wall art that were all well over $300 (which seemed a very appropriate price for the amount of detail that was hand carved). It's easy to say that I was very overwhelmed by all this.

I have always LOVED people watching, and I've never been to a better place to do so than this convention. After walking around for about an hour just taking all of the information in, my dad and I went to a little snack stand and each got a cheeseburger and a drink. The few tables they had were full, so we sat against a wall and surveyed the crowd. People of all ages were cosplaying and interacting. I saw one middle aged man dressed as Batman go up to a kid dressed as the Joker who couldn't have been older than 12 and start pretending to have a rivalry with him. There were so many group costumes for things I couldn't have even imagined cosplaying. Another teenage girl was sat on the floor a few feet away from me with her group of friends, wearing her interpretation of Bill Cipher from the show Gravity Falls. It genuinely filled me with so much joy to be able to watch all of these diverse groups come together to just celebrate what they like. I was so nervous going in, but everyone there seemed so friendly and at ease, I couldn't help but feel a lot less embarrassed.

My dad and I sat on the floor for about an hour and finished our food, and we went to explore the rest of the convention. We stopped at almost every booth, and I had bought 2 things along the way, a Gojo Satoru poster for my friend's birthday, and a Neon Genesis Evangelion shirt for my other friend's birthday (all of our birthdays are within a week from each other so it was nice to be able to get their gifts all in one spot). The event didn't really seem like my dad's cup of tea, and I was getting worried that he wasn't having fun, but he reassured me that he was just enjoying walking around and hanging out. After 3 hours of being under bright fluorescent lights and surrounded by people and bright colors, we were both starting to get a headache and decided it was time for us to head out. I know lots of people stay at conventions from open to close every day that they run, and I have to give MAJOR props to them because I am not nearly strong enough for that. On the way out, my dad and I passed a booth that we missed before that was selling $5 vintage tees. I dragged him over to look and was SO excited because all of the shirts they had were actually really cool. He bought 2 Marvel shirts, and I was very happy that he wan't leaving empty handed. I also got 2 shirts, an oversized graphic tee of the 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show that my dad made me watch as a kid, and a Def Leppard shirt that I still wear to this day (shown below in a picture way too big for this post but it won't let me make it smaller).

3 years later, as a much more confident college student, I can't wait to return to Tampa Comic Con. I'm planning on wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay that I wore for halloween last year (added below in case anyone wanted to see), and after my previous experience, I'm no longer nervous about being judged. Comic Con is a place where the only requirement to be accepted is to be kind <3

(So so sorry this is over 1k words I just got really into writing about my experience and reminiscing. Please don't dock any points I'm just overly passionate)

[akookminsupporter]

Hi

I hope you are well.

Please do not take this the wrong way or that I am attacking in any way because thats absolutely not my intention. I am also aware that someone's language can derive different meaning because it's so hard to decipher the tone while reading things as opposed to when someone speaks to you face to face. I would like to express this because I love the way you write and express yourself.

I hadnt actually been on Tumblr for a while because life has been hard lately but I have finally gotten some reprieve from real life so thought I would check it. You have been one of my favourite blogs so I of course read your stuff first. Now I would like to put my own cent for one of your posts. I read the one where you speak about how a lot of Jikook Tumblr blogs are Jimin biased. I actually completely disagree with you. And the only reason I disagree with you is because I am from the other side of Tumblr where most if not all the blog posts I follow for Jikook are JK biased pretending to be Jikook biased.

I have literally had so many of these people say to me that it's okay for JK to get all the company support because JK will ensure that JM gets the support he needs. What the fuck does that even mean? Like I get that they are okay with JK getting a lot of.suport and I am fine with that because who the fuck am I judge what they get and don't get. But to stop me from voicing my disappointment with the company because apparently noticing the blatant lack of support to Jimin's music and promotion is somehow anti JK. How does that even make sense when I am fully happy with JK and his achievement.

These set of people were pissed off at JM because he didn't make the time out of his busy schedule to come to JKs concert after his Budapest stint. Mind you these people were trying to tell me how it was uncool of JM not to attend his concert but these were the same people who then were okay with JK just watching JMs content from his own home. Mind you, when I called them out on their double standard, their response was passive aggressive as fuck. Like yes it cute that JK was watching JMs stuff but also he was in Korea most of the time. Why did he not attend a lot of Jimins promotional stuff? The car scene of AYS further reiterated the fact that JK was free and had a lot of time when JM was busy as fuck but why isn't he expect to go and physically visit him? How is Jimin expected to be on everyone's stuff but Jimin can't be expected to have the same.

I think what I am trying to say is that the double standards are stupid as fuck but super gross when it comes to Jikook. I have only seen side where the way they treat JM is kinda gross but I am glad that you are part of the other side so I can see that they are all immature and there is no winning them.

I read the one where you speak about how a lot of Jikook Tumblr blogs are Jimin biased.

When did I say that? Did I say those exact words? Would you mind sending me the link to the post where I said that?

[cursecrazy-writing]

It's not like this blog has attracted virtually any attention so I don't know what good it is posting here, but I feel a little guilty saying nothing at all when the least I could do is leave a sort-of farewell note explaining why I'm not around.

Uh basically I'm very done with writing. I owe thousands of words to various commissioners, and I still intend to get that work done, but beyond that, I'm not going to waste any more of my time writing stories. The whole endeavor has plainly not been worth it, all the stress of a second job but with a fraction of the pay, so I'm just going to stop.

And really, it hasn't been about the money. I've always undersold myself because I know the true value of writing as a job is worth extremely little, and that most of writing is based on passion. What I've strived for previously was not to make a lot of money or a living off of writing, but to simply put stories out and have them be read. What I desired most was feedback -- not necessarily criticism, but literal feedback, any signal or indication that people are reading my stories, that these stories affect people and that they're happier having read them. But for years none of my stories have been getting noticed, certainly not enough attention to merit months of work or even the amount of effort it takes to upload and advertise a story on social media. You can see how a vast majority of my uploads here on this Tumblr have 0 notes. On Twitter, I was lucky to get two or three likes from some of my regular followers that habitually liked anything I posted. I go to my Patreon stats and see mere double digits of anyone even clicking the damn links. So this main goal of mine, to simply have my stories be enjoyed, is utterly failing.

The reality is that I am not a good writer. If I was a better writer, I'd see more success -- my momentum from Endless would have continued for a little more than just a couple months of attention. Even Endless itself was a strike of luck, because the only reason that story saw so much success is because it got stuck on the first page of giantessworld.net so it got a disproportionate amount of notice. Maybe this wouldn't bug me so much if I didn't see other writers of varying skill levels doing much, much better than me with regards to social media interactions -- blogs that have existed for days get triple digit notes, blurb-sized fetish writing tweets that get shared by dozens of accounts, etc. Clearly there's a right way to do these types of things and I've just been doing them wrong lol.

Not helping whatsoever is how anti-erotica every social media seems to be. And I do mean erotica specifically. Obviously you can find tons of outright porn here on Tumblr or Twitter or basically where the fuck ever. But an account that just posts writing? Weird fucked up niche writing about fetishes? With NO pictures??? The algorithm simply will not allow it. I'm constantly under pressure to have to expand my skillset to include abilities I have not honed, leaving me with the option to either learn how to draw myself (basically taking on a third job so I can practice an art craft i don't even want to be practicing just so my main craft can get non-fucked by an invisible intangible algorithm) or, my favorite, ~hire an artist~ to make images for me so that I can at least pretend it's my writing that people enjoy and not the actual art I had to pay someone to make.

To top it all off, I just don't feel like writing any more. I've been writing giantess stories nonstop for five years and I'm basically done with it. I haven't had any ideas that genuinely interest me, no inspiration to create, everything feels like it's either been done before or it's trying way too hard to be an original concept for a size setting. More than just a case of writers block, I really don't feel joy from writing anything. On a technical level, all I can imagine is the silent criticisms, people cringing at my writing but never explaining why it's bad, because again, none of my stories ever receive any category of feedback, so I'm left wondering completely how people felt any way about a project that took me months to finish. I just have to assume that if no one is saying anything, it must be because there's nothing good to say about it; I see all sorts of dumpy little comments on other people's publications, but I get zero, implying something critically wrong with my art compared to others.

Eventually, the goal is to close the Patreon, the discord, and all other accounts -- probably only once I've caught up on all commission work and can just deactivate peacefully. By then I hope to have at least uploaded or re-uploaded everything I've written onto some place for record purposes, maybe ten years from people will feel like reacting to my writing lol. Until I fully deactivate, expect me to be basically gone, I won't be taking any extra work and won't be checking messages. I hope some of you enjoyed what I made. Thanks for reading.

[rjalker]

Welp, since the OP turned off reblogs on the original post:

My original reblog:

Okay, I know RTD has fucked all of this up by using the words "male-presenting" in this way, but male-presenting is NOT a synonym for "looks like a man" or "wear's men's clothing".

Saying that butches could be considered male-presenting is just. flat out wrong. That is not what these terms mean.

You can IDENTIFY yourself as male-presenting or female-presenting. You cannot assign those terms to anyone else, which is one of the major things RTD did wring with this scene!

No one asked the Doctor how hea identifies, everyone just went "well you're played by David Tennant now so you look like a man so that means you're purposefully presenting yourself to the world as male" and that's not how this works! At all!

Trans women not being out or able to socially transition doesn't mean they're male-presenting.

"male-presenting" is not a synonym for "looks like a man" or "assigned male at birth" or "wears mens clothes".

It is not something you get to assign other people, it is strictly a self-identification term, saying that you are choosing to present yourself as male, or masculine, or whatever descriptor is being used.

And I'm not even going to bother getting into the whole "the Doctor was a woman (because Jodie Whittaker had the role) five minutes ago" because again, that's literally not how gender works. Looking like a woman because a woman is playing the character does not equal "the character is a woman now" when it's just been established in this episode that the Doctor is nonbinary.

You can, and should, point out the biological and gender essentialism in this scene. But you shouldn't be ignoring the fact that the Doctor is being misgendered by being assigned male-presenting by people who have not asked, and are literally just deciding that for themselves because they think the Doctor looks like a man.

Do not use "x-presenting" language for other people --including fictional characters, which as we can all see from the fallout from this scene makes people think they can do this to real people-- unless it's something that person self-identifies as.

Calling anyone "male-presenting" or "masculine-presenting" or "female-presenting" or "feminine-presenting" without them first telling you that's how they identify is literally just misgendering people but pretending to be progressive about it.

Which is the most fucking damaging impact of this scene. And I'm getting really tired of having to explain this over and over again when people have been talking about why these terms are not okay to assign to other people for years now. Russel T Davies just came along and fucked it all up by making people think this kind of misgendering is okay when it's not even remotely.

= = =

@daily-sloop-john-b:

Okay, I'm —ing confused.

@rjalkers-polls can you please send me where you're pulling the "presenting" definition from?

And what's the word(s) for referring to that outside shell to which onlookers ascribe a gender?

No animosity meant at all; you seem to have a very specific idea of it's usage, and I'm curious what community it comes from.

= = =

Me:

this isn't a definition you're going to find in any dictionary, because it's not an "official" thing in any way, it's what many trans and nonbinary people have been talking about over the years.

I can link some posts of people talking about it if that'll help.

in no particular order:

4 days ago

September 2023

June 2019

2 days ago

November 2021

December 2021

And there's a whole lot more on my blog but tumblr doesn't want to let me find them at the moment, mostly because I didn't think to create a tag specifically for it.

Try searching any of the variations on tumblr or google.

Before November 25th 2023 you'll find a mix of people using them as self-descriptors, people talking about how it's misgendering to be called it without permission, and a few people assigning them to other people thinking it's okay.

And now after November 25th 2023 you'll see a massive surge in people throwing these terms around willy-nilly in the most absurd and bigoted ways.

The proper way to describe people without assuming and assigning gender to them is to describe them in factual statements. Are they tall? Short? Fat? Thin? Long hair? Short hair? Big chest? medium chest? Flat chest? Light skin? Dark skin? Round face? Angular face? Eye color, ect.

And if you know someone's gender, you can call them by that. A man, a woman, a nonbinary person, an enby, ect. At no point is it necessary or okay to describe them as "x-presenting", because as I say above, that's taking your internal bias and saying it's something they're doing on purpose.

If someone calls me female-presenting because they think I look like a woman, that's misgendering. I'm not presenting myself as female, I'm literally just existing in a body that happens to have boobs, through no fault or choice of my own.

= = =

@walks-the-ages:

Here's a post I reblogged nine years ago that captures the essence of why using “x-presenting” language is misgendering; you’ll notice that the post makes no mention of x-presenting language, because that only really started popping up in the last…. hmm, maybe three or four years? It became a popular way to describe someone whose gender you didn’t know, but was thankfully shot down pretty quick when trans and nonbinary people pointed out this is just a new way of misgendering someone but trying to sound progressive, by looking at someone’s appearance and assuming that what you think they look like (aka, like a man, or like a woman, or androgynous) “must be!” what gender they are.

[ID: a text post by user Viciere, posted October 31st 2014, that reads: “if somebody wears a dress and copious amounts of makeup and has ass-length pink hair and they say they are a boy you call them a boy gender stereotypes are not an excuse for misgendering someone it doesnt matter what gender you think they “look” like. respect the gender they ARE.” End ID]

If you look at the tags and replies of many of the posts made about the “male presenting” line in the Star Beast, you will find countless, countless trans, nonbinary, and even cis people expressing how they have personally been misgendered by people referring to them as ‘x-presenting’ based purely on their clothes or their physical appearance, which is especially hurtful to trans and nonbinary people who already suffer from negative body image and body dysphoria, especially if they can’t afford or physically cannot safely get top or bottom surgery, wear a packer, or padded bra, or even safely wear a binder.

TL;DR: “X-presenting” language should only be used as a self-identifier, or exclusively for those who have given you express permission to refer to them as such. Using “x-presenting” language for someone you don’t know is the same as misgendering– if you don’t know someone’s gender, just ask :)

[nancylou444]

Bro if you don’t wanna see destiel stuff then why are you going through the tag? Block the destiel tag if you’re gonna get mad about seeing destiel content (because in your screenshots I can actually see the destiel tag there, so you can’t pretend like the op was mis-tagging)

I’m here on your blog, and I’m not stunned and amazed and outraged to find headcanons/opinions that i disagree with here, and I’m not about to attack you for them, but there are ways to avoid seeing the stuff you don’t want to see.

I saw this on the way to work Thursday morning and was going to respond with a quick 'fuck you', but I decided that I haven't enjoyed a good stomping of idiots in my askbox for a while, so I saved it for the weekend.

**cracks knuckles** Time to have some fun.

Bro if you don’t wanna see destiel stuff then why are you going through the tag? First, nowadays people get HIGHLY offended if you refer to them with the wrong pronouns BUT it's okay to call ME, clearly a woman, "bro"? Fuck you #1 Now, I don't look through the DESTIEL tag jackass. I go through the SUPERNATURAL tag. Fuck you #2

Block the destiel tag if you’re gonna get mad about seeing destiel content (because in your screenshots I can actually see the destiel tag there, so you can’t pretend like the op was mis-tagging) Yet, you didn't see the SUPERNATURAL tag? Fuck you #3

I think I proved my point that I find DESTIEL shit in the Supernatural tag, every freaking day, even after BLOCKING idiots.

But hellers will whine that they "see" lots of WINCEST posts in that tag. I haven't seen one in a long time. Yet I see destiel posts EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I’m here on your blog, and I’m not stunned and amazed and outraged to find headcanons/opinions that i disagree with here, and I’m not about to attack you for them, but there are ways to avoid seeing the stuff you don’t want to see. Why are you here on my blog? Not about to attack me? Instead you are putting this word vomit in my askbox, which clearly shows that YOU need help with your reading comprehension skills. Fuck you #4

So to sum up:

[canonizzyhours]

idk if this is appropriate since it isn't about canon izzy directly but i need somewhere anonymous to complain about 'the canyon.' i'm not in a lot of fandoms so i don't know if this is normal fandom behavior or what. I hope it isn't. this has been a uniquely upsetting experience for me. I have, like, next level autism for this show so of course i had to find Every single scrap of information about it and in the course of my obsessive 'research' i encountered these guys a lot, almost from the very beginning.

at first i thought it was funny and cute, like when people are hot for hannibal lector or some fucked up little guy. they wrote the worst ever fanfiction. that was fine, I could forgive that. but then they started saying things like 'if you watch it from izzy's perspective you'll see that he's the real hero and ed is the villain.' like girl no I've watched it 96 times and never once found this authoritarian incel karen good or relatable. the one that really got me was 'in any other show he'd be the protagonist.' yeah bro that's why i like this one? go watch one of those?

by like the fourth month they already had a bizarre victim complex. I just avoided talking about him completely because they would get really rude and start in with the guilt trips if you mentioned izzy even in a neutral way, let alone if you said anything about homophobia or psychological abuse. they called people abusive and homophobic and racist (?) if they said anything negative about fictional white man izzy hands. they threatened to sue someone. remember when there was an essay about him in a zine that was actually pretty positive? and most of the comments online were about how the actors and writers would definitely read this and be heartbroken. probably cry. maybe not even want to make the show anymore. it was a fan zine.

i didn't even like izzy except as an antagonist, but somehow they almost convinced me that i was watching it wrong. i started to seriously think, like, what if the writers were on his side all along? what if they really were making the main (queer, indigenous) love interest abusive and my very favorite thing was not as good as i thought it was? why not, when i've always had to twist a story to pretend it's for me? maybe i'd done it without realizing this time. i would have been so disappointed. and the way season two was done, there was like a week where i think i really believed it. it made me feel like i couldn't trust my own judgement. probably I was depending too much on this one tv show for serotonin because I cried a lot during that time, but you know how it is. the point is, it should have been a fun time for me but it was not.

i was so happy when he died, though. that cheered me right up and i'm fine now. i know I'm being dramatic and none of my complaints are very important in the grand scheme of things (i didn't even get into the racism) but they almost fucked up my Autism Favorite Thing for me and i want it to be documented somewhere that i will never forgive them for that <3 <3 <3

#31.

related posts: #29

(so i'd have posted this anyway bc of recent posts talking about questioning their views of izzy bc of the prevalence of canyon takes insisting he's a protagonist etc. but even without that, this blog was literally created because of a need for a space to talk about canon izzy and a need for acknowledgement that fanon izzy has become very widespread, mostly due to the canyon actions you mention. so it's difficult to separate the two when the blog was partially born from people thinking they were the only one to feel this way!)

[ask-serendipity-sky]

i think you got my ask wrong, im a jikooker myself. its just sad seeing the way jikookers talk latel, it’s very reminiscent of tkers.

the conspiracies, the delusions, ect…

Hello again,

So you are a jikooker too. I suppose the answer to my message still applies.

We are not the delulu police or Jikook police. There is no such thing as an absolute truth that we must all believe in, especially with Jikook. People should be able to express themselves without being judged for every single thing. I don't see anyone causing any harm and that's always the end goal.

I actually enjoy reading people's different takes on stuff (that includes conspiracies and delusions) because herd mentality is cult mentality.

If this stuff is making you sad, and I say this in the friendliest way possible, it might be beneficial to take a break from it. I did.

Back when I first started using tumblr, the Jikook observations here overwhelmed me. I had never used social media for this so reading here was a lot. I was in it deeeeep. I would watch BTS content and would run to the blogs to get validation. I would rewatch things and read the old posts on here to make sure the bloggers said Jikook was real. If the bloggers said it, then they were real, right? All day I thought about Jikook and it affected my emotions too.

Until I told myself to STOP.

So I took a break from tumblr and calmed down. I used twitter just for FACE things and to love Jimin. Once I adjusted my way of thinking, I came back and saw things differently.

Instead of relying on the opinion of others (which I didn't agree with), I made my own Jikook blog. So this way, if someone doesn't like my thinking they can just leave. I didn't start my blog to convince anyone, I started my blog so I could share my thoughts. I read what others say but don't absorb everything as the truth. I give my opinions and lose followers everyday because I don't pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows. Not in my lens.

So I feel these are your solutions. Start your own blog and get your opinion out there or take a break and adopt a idgaf mentality about what others are saying.

Otherwise, we will become a cult.

Thanks for stopping by!