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arrowsandbats · 4 years ago

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Tim’s Complicated School History

So I’ve noticed there seems to be a fair bit of confusion on where Tim went to high school, whether he dropped out or not, if he went to private or public school, etc., so I thought I’d create a general chronology of (Pre-Flashpoint) Tim’s tumultuous high school career. The confusion about this is deserved, as Tim has literally gone to no less than FIVE high schools and also homeschooled for a bit, so it’s a LOT to keep track of. Tim has attended both private schools and public schools, and has gone to school in Gotham and Bludhaven (and almost Keystone!), ultimately ending his school days when he dropped out of Gotham City High School during his senior year to go search for Bruce after the events of Final Crisis.

Here’s the breakdown:

Pre-High School: Tim attended private boarding schools until he was about 13-14 years old. To my knowledge these schools are never specifically named, but 13-yr-old Tim mentions in Batman #441 that he attends a boarding school just outside Gotham. In Robin III #4 Tim angrily tells his dad that him and Janet “shipped [Tim] from one boarding school to another and nobody paid any attention as long as [his] grades stayed high.” This seems to imply that Tim attended a number of different boarding schools, when there’s really no reason for him to have attended more than two (an elementary and middle school), and even then a number of private boarding schools are actually K-8 (if not K-12) so I don’t know why he attended so many schools?? Nevertheless, from K-8 Tim attended private boarding schools, primarily in the Gotham area presumably.

Tim was probably still in middle school in his earliest appearances (Batman: A Lonely Place of Dying, Batman: Rite of Passage, etc), but he starts high school right around the time he finishes his Robin training (around the time of the first Robin miniseries).

High School #1---Gotham Heights High School: The first reference to Tim being in high school comes from the 1991 Robin II miniseries. Tim has recently started at Gotham Heights High School as a ninth grader. This comic takes place after Tim’s parents were kidnapped and poisoned, and so while Jack is in the hospital Bruce is acting as a guardian of sorts for Tim. It’s at Gotham Heights that Tim befriends Sebastian Ives, as well as his friends Hudson and Callie Evans. When Ives asks Tim about the fact that he seems too rich for public school, Tim explains that he used to go to private school but that Bruce had him transferred into public school because he thought it would be “more broadening.” Even after Jack gets out of the hospital he allows Tim to stay at Gotham Heights HS, although Jack clearly has a low opinion of public schools. Tim presumably started at Gotham Heights HS at the beginning of the ninth grade and attended for about a year and a half.

Interlude---Keystone: After the events of Cataclysm, Tim’s family moves to Keystone to avoid the chaos going on in Gotham. (They only end up staying a few weeks at the most, but they moved with the intention of living there permanently, meaning that Tim was transferred out of Gotham Heights HS.) In Robin #63 Jack mentions trying to get Tim into Keystone Academy, but that it’s tough in the middle of the school year and that he was working on getting him a tutor in the interim. Tim was supposed to meet his new tutor the same day that he went back to Gotham to be with Steph while she had her baby. He left without telling his dad, and so Jack and Dana come back to Gotham to get him and they all decide to stay in Gotham after all. It’s unclear if Tim returns to Gotham Heights HS briefly or if he just doesn’t return to school until he’s enrolled at Brentwood.

High School #2---Brentwood Academy: After the events of No Man’s Land, Tim is enrolled in Brentwood Academy, a boarding school in Bristol Township (a wealthy suburb directly to the north of Gotham, where the Drakes and the Waynes both live). After missing so much school, Jack forces Tim to go to a boarding school so that his grades will hopefully come up. (I think the reasoning here is that if Tim lives at school then he’ll have no good excuse for missing class?) In Robin #75 Tim refers to himself as a “new sophomore,” and he transferred to the school some time after sophomore year started (almost definitely after winter break, but I can’t find an issue that confirms this?) but before spring break. Tim’s main friends at Brentwood are his first roommate Ali, his second roommate Wesley, and his classmates Buzz, Kip, and Danny. Tim isn’t at Brentwood for very long though. After only a few months (maybe even less) of Tim being at Brentwood, Jack finds out he’s lost a good portion of the Drake family fortune in bad investments. He’s forced to withdraw Tim from school as he can’t afford the tuition anymore, and the Drakes sell their home in Bristol Township and move into their townhouse in inner-city Gotham.

Interlude---Rest of Sophomore Year: When Tim left Brentwood it was rather late in the year, and it was apparently too late to re-enroll him in public school, so he took the rest of the school year off. That summer he has to take a placement test that will keep him from having to repeat the 10th grade. He passes, so when he re-enters public school he does so as a junior.

High School #3---Louis E. Grieve Memorial High School: Tim starts his junior year at Louis E. Grieve Memorial HS, where he quickly befriends Bernard Dowd and Darla Aquista. He doesn’t attend school here very long, probably for about 3-4 months (he’s only been at Grieve Memorial HS for a few weeks when he’s forced to quit being Robin, Steph takes over for about 2 months, and then it’s only another couple weeks until the events of War Games). During War Games, Tim’s friend Darla is targeted by several mobs (because her father is an Italian mob boss) and mobsters take over his school and end up killing several students, Darla included. Darla’s funeral is one of three that Tim has to attend in as many days, his dad being killed during Identity Crisis and Steph “dying” at the end of War Games.

High School #4---John Wayne High School, Bludhaven: After War Games and Identity Crisis, Tim moves to Bludhaven to try for a fresh start. He picked Bludhaven specifically for an in-patient facility that will help his stepmom, Dana, process her grief over Jack’s death. Tim moves to be close to her and starts attending John Wayne High School. He probably only attends for about two weeks though, before he has his (fake) Uncle Eddie withdraw him from the school to start homeschooling. Tim withdraws with the intention of homeschooling until he can test out of school early. But it isn’t long (maybe another month or so) until Infinite Crisis, and then Tim and Dick go on a nearly year-long training journey with Bruce.

Interlude---OYL: During the missing year* between Infinite Crisis and One Year Later, Tim isn’t in school at all, as he and Dick and Bruce are travelling the world and training.

(*Also, with the nightmare that is comics continuity and the passage of time, Tim really couldn’t have been gone for more than like,,,,6-8 months, as it was late winter/early spring when Infinite Crisis happened---at least according to the Robin series---and it’s summer when he returns to Gotham. He’s still 17 early in the Red Robin series so it couldn’t have been a year and a half that he was gone, therefore he could only have been gone for like half a year.)

High School #5---Gotham City High School: After the OYL time jump, Tim starts attending Gotham City High School. He starts during the “summer session” (presumably to make up for the semester he missed during OYL?) before his senior year. His main friends here are Zoanne Wilkins (who he starts dating), Jared Walton, Craig Pulaski, and then both Ives and Steph transfer to GCHS during Tim’s senior year (altho Steph is usually a year older than Tim in Pre-52 canon, so it really makes no sense for her to be there??). This is the high school Tim is attending when he drops out of school in his senior year to travel the world looking for Bruce. In Red Robin #17, Tim and Ives meet for lunch (after Bruce has returned and Tim has moved back to Gotham) and Ives mentions Tim not finishing senior year. Tim asks Ives how senior year is going---implying that the events of the first arc of Red Robin only take a few months---and catches up on how Ives and Zoanne are doing.

Some general Tim school stuff: Tim is a very smart kid, but not a very good student. In the Robin III miniseries both Jack and Tim’s school counselor make reference to the fact that before high school Tim had always been a straight A student, but that his grades and attendance have slipped considerably. He is routinely too tired to pay attention in class, he’s constantly missing weeks of school, he fails to complete homework assignments bc of Robin missions, etc. Several times he even references in his inner monologue that he thinks he might fail a specific class. And honestly, Tim just doesn’t care about school. He often makes irritable inner-monologue comments about preferring practical application over learning things in a school setting, he tries to get himself out of school permanently when he lives in Bludhaven, etc. That being said, he’s never been noted to actually fail a class and even with all the school he’s missed he’s never had to be held back, so presumably he’s still earning like Cs in most classes.

#tim drake #timothy drake #robin #batfam #meta #dc comics #our posts #i hope this is useful #i plan on making more of them at some point

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2018shawn · 5 years ago

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1+1 | descent | part 3

warnings: ok so, there is smut but I have begun and ended it with a ***** so you can skip if u want bc they be loving each other during this pregnancy liFE. there is mentions of blood (towards the end), drinking, swearing etc

a/n: omg I love you all so much sorry for taking so long here are some of the requests I used to keep me going with a lil breakdown:

maybe for 1+1 there r complications with the pregnancy (nothing life threatening just a little harder or something) and shawn is super cute and protective - a little teaser, more in next chap x

Shawn would be a worrying mess throughout your pregnancy for sure🥺😂 - again, will be more in next chapter

Y/n being horny whilst being pregnant - big mood

Could you write something about Shawn and y/n going to her parent's for dinner and her mum picks on her the entire time, maybe Shawn comforts her or confronts her? - so i kinda adjusted it a bit bc I just couldn't imagine it like full on if that makes any sense but anyways ye

Shawn making sure she takes her prenatal pills and is on time for all appointments. - he would 10/10 do this I bet ur ass

Just all the fluff about pregnancy that you possible can write. I LOVE YOUR WORK💗🥰 - you are the cutest lil ANGEL I love YOU 🥺

word count: 6.5k

previous parts: here

You never thought you’d be one of those pregnant women who obsessed over their weight and constantly observed for signs of a growing bump; but you never thought you’d get pregnant and here you are, stood in front of your mirror, almost 1/3 of the way into your pregnancy already - 10 weeks, to be exact. You were only 5 weeks pregnant when you’d visited your doctor that one day, adamant that you were going to receive bad news, only to receive the complete opposite.

As your mind wandered back to that day, 5 weeks ago, the palm of your hand caressed the bare skin of your stomach, admiring how much your body was already changing. You’d left the doctors office in a complete state of shock, insisting Dr. Blake check the test results at least 5 times before you finally nodded and accepted that you were pregnant. Shawn hadn’t stopped talking the whole day after that and found concern in you being just as quiet as what you would been if the worst had come out of that meeting. Of course it was just the shock, that your body, despite everything you’d been told, had been able to pull through and create a miracle. The fuzzy feeling of 2 day old stubble resting on your shoulder and curls tickling the side of your neck brought you back to current day, eyes wandering up from your stomach to meet the eyes of Shawn’s. His arms wrapped around your hips, covering your own as he allowed his fingers to entwine with yours. “Whatcha’ thinking ‘bout?” He asked before turning his head to place a delicate kiss in the crook of your neck.

You shivered and smiled at the ticklish sensation, a small giggle leaving your lips. “That you really need to shave your poor excuse of a beard.” His mouth opened wide, offended of the insult towards his manliness as you continued to declare your real thoughts. “Just... this. Us. I guess.” Your head fell and rested against his as he nodded, moving both of your hands to your lower stomach, where baby would soon be continuously blooming.

“You know, baby M sure has put a little glow on your skin and a wider smile on your face.” His chin was heavy on your shoulder as he spoke, but you didn’t mind, considering in a few months you’d have a baby gnawing away at your shoulder. And being sick down it. And dribbling down it. And... why do you have babies, again?

“Baby M?” You asked, eyebrows raised in admiration of the sudden new nickname who was previously known as bub.

Shawn shrugged, finally giving you some room and detaching from your frame so you could continue to go about your normal morning routine. You did so by picking up your hairbrush from the cabinet next to you, dragging in through your untamed bed head. “Yeah, i mean, bub was cute and all... but... you’re my original bub, really. And I guess the M can stand for Mendes. Or miracle. Or both?” He questioned, more than confirmed, leaving you smiling at his pointless babbles and theories. Shawn swiftly moved on to tell you he’d checked the parenting app this morning, and Baby M is now the size of a lime. He also told you that he read an article that told you eating peanuts and dairy could make the baby allergic to them in the future, but with further research he soon developed it was nothing but a mere myth. Most of all, whilst you were getting ready, Shawn told you how lucky he feels to have you and how much he loves you.

You turned to the side one final time before you left the mirror, hands coming back to the small bump across your stomach. Shawn walked back into the room, toothbrush hanging from his mouth and towel hung from his hips, rolling his eyes as you studied yourself yet again. “Bub, stop it.” He somewhat spoke, through minty bubbles and white paste.

“Am I...” You started, alternating between pinching the skin and caressing it with the palm of your hand. “Am I getting fat?”

Shawn almost spat his mouth care out, the brushing of his teeth coming to a stop as he stared at you, astonished by your brief question. “You’re not fat...” He held his finger up as he darted back into the en suite where you heard the running of water and him finishing his process. The water shut off and you could hear him grab the towel from the rail, presumably to wipe his face, considering he had white suds dripping down his chin. “...You’re pregnant”

He reappeared in the room, walking over and snaking his arms round your waist. “So i’m fat then?” You laughed, giving up your touch on your stomach to reach up and rest your arms atop his shoulders.

All he could do was chuckle, never having heard anything so absurd. You’d never be fat, but you’d always be beautiful. “You’re a baby maker, he gotta grow somewhere.”

You rolled your eyes, tip toeing upwards and pressing your lips to his to be greeted with the fresh mint taste you anticipated. “She.”

Humming into your touch in return, his fingers danced through your freshly brushed hair as he was pulled into your body, “your mom...” you started, giggling as he pulled away and shot you a confused glance.

“Why are you thinking of my mom while i’m tryna make out with you?”

“I’m thinking of your dad too.” You smirked, only trying to wind him up further.

“Ok, weird, stop...” He shuddered, screwing his face up in further confusion and disapproval. He searched your face for an answer, but you merely shrugged and walked away, pulling out your favourite shirt from the wardrobe and bringing it over your arms, you let it fall over your body.

Two overnight bags lay on the bed, only a few items thrown into them so far for your weekend trip to Shawn’s family home. “Do you wanna tell them tonight?” You asked, picking a couple more shirts from the wardrobes and finally some pants that would match.

He watched as you folded them delicately into your bag, “do you? I mean, it’s your body, it’s your choice.” It was killing Shawn alive to keep this from his parents, and more so Aaliyah, but with all the bad luck you’d had, you were sceptical of jinxing the situation. You thought it was most probably a myth, that telling people you were pregnant before the end of a certain trimester could cause bad luck, but it was a risk you wasn’t willing to take.

“It’s our choice,” you confirmed, walking back over to the wardrobe and pulling out a couple of t-shirts for Shawn and holding them up for his approval. With a nod, you threw them in his direction, and he attempted to fold them into his bag, not half as neatly as you had done. “I just know it’s killing you. And besides it’s nearly the end of my first trimester and it is your mom’s birthday...”

You held up a shirt, one you absolutely loved seeing Shawn in, but he screwed up his face and shook his head, so you put it back on the rail. “No pressure, we tell them when you’re ready.” You walked over with another shirt you’d picked for him, shaking your head at Shawn’s third attempt of folding his clothing. You remembered how after your third date, he brought you to his place for a drink and you saw how chaotically organised his suitcase was packed for going on tour. With a bottle of wine and some packing tips later, you both ended up falling asleep in his spare bedroom, organised piles of clothes all around you.

The more the hours in the day went by, the more you chewed your inner cheek in anxiousness. Driving to Shawns parent’s house felt like a lifetime but he silently tried to comfort you by holding your thigh as he drove. You didn’t know if you were going to tell them, you didn’t even know if you wanted to and you sighed at yourself again for letting it play over and over in your mind. “Bub?” Shawn squeezed your thigh and pulled you from your daydream, looking over at you as you came up to a red light.

“Mmhmm?” You didn’t know if Shawn could read your mind, as you thought about all the nice ways you’d seen over the internet of how people tell their parents they’re going to be nana and grandads. Here you were, thinking of ways to not tell them.

“Stop worrying about it, if we tell them, we tell them. If we don’t, we don’t.” You nodded, although you both knew it wouldn’t be the end of your concerns.

A few red lights later and a slow drive down the quiet lane, you’d reached the Mendes family house, heart warming as Aaliyah flung the door open and immediately ran to the car. Shawn had the best relationship with his sister and it gave you no doubt in your mind that he was going to be the best dad in the world. It was getting late, the traffic taking a toll on your arrival time and the party was already in full swing. Karen appeared in the door, two glasses of wine in hand and a beaming smile on her features. “Hello, my beautiful family,” she theatrically exclaimed, pulling you in for a huge hug as you both reached the doorway with Shawn holding both of your overnight bags and almost knocking the wine from her hands.

“Mom are you drunk already?” Shawn laughed, eyeing the 2 glasses of wine tight in her grip and watching how she stumbled down one of the steps and pushed her cheek outwards, inviting a kiss from Shawn.

“What? No! I’ve only had 1 glass..” She nodded, handing you one of the glasses and you politely smiled, thanking her. She whispered to you as Shawn walked into the house and he disappeared out of view, instantly getting lost in the music and big crowd of people. “I’ve had 3...” she giggled, pulling you inside as the two of you began to engage in conversation.

The party in full swing, Shawn had drunk your - 2 glasses of - wine when no one was looking with Karen handing you another glass which you’d had in your hand for at least 45 minutes when she walked over to bring you another. “Oh?” She questioned, looking at your still full glass as you stood with Shawn and his old family friends. “You love wine, why aren’t you drinking!”

You smiled and eyed Shawn, who instantly shot to your defence. “Mom, she’s not an alcoholic,” he said, and you all laughed it off, but as Karen stood with you and insisted you drank some of it with her, your heart beat out your chest and feet shuffled uncomfortably beneath you. “Mom... she doesn’t want to drink the wine.” Shawn said, pulling it out of your hand and putting it onto the side.

“Don’t speak for her, we’ve seen a fair few wine-drunk y/n’s in her time!” If that’s how she saw you, she most definitely wouldn’t think you’re fit to be a parent. She knew you and Shawn were trying, sure, but the more you thought about it, the more you’d actually never heard her say anything positive about it. Maybe catching Shawn arguing with her on the phone six or so months ago was about this. About you. About your inability to succeed in adult life.

Before anyone could blink, tense atmosphere filling the air between the small crowd as the rest of the unaware house guests continued to party, you darted up the stairs, rushing to the bathroom. Curled over the toilet and stomach tensing tightly, you were yet again reminded that morning sickness was not just for the mornings. Shawn was quick behind you, stroking your back like he always did and offering you a bottle of water he’d managed to grab en route to your side.

Once you felt it was out of your system, you leaned back, your bum sitting against the backs of your ankles as you shakily took the water from Shawn. “I’m sorry about my mom.”

“It’s okay,” you stopped to take another sip, the cold water relieving your dry mouth and the horrible taste that covered it, “I just don’t want her to see me as that person. It makes me feel like she thinks i’m going to be a bad mom...”

“You’re going to be a mom?!” A voice much higher than Shawn’s interrupted, both yours and Shawn’s head flying round to the door where Aaliyah could be seen in the crack.

“‘Liyah, what the fuck!” Shawn screamed, his younger sister repeatedly apologising, only insisting she came to see if you were okay.

Karen appeared in the doorway and once pushed further open, so did Manny, which only made you feel like a pathetic fool as the Mendes clan bickered around you. Shawn was shouting at Aaliyah for having no personal boundaries, whilst Aaliyah screamed back at him for leaving the door open in the first place, whilst Manny shouted at them both for shouting at each other, all whilst Karen ignored the trio and came down to your level, wiping the run mascara that surrounded your eyes. It was a scene from a comedy movie, two young adults fighting ridiculously, the father rolling his eyes at them both and unable to control their anger, and the mother identifying the source of the problem, which just so happened to be you. “Honey, i’m sorry if i upset you, so so sorry.”

“Karen, it’s okay, it’s not you.” You smiled, somewhat meaning it. It was you, really, your hormones were wild and emotions all over the place and boy, didn’t you know about it recently.

“It is, Manny always jokes i’m a cow when i’ve had some wine.”

Shawn stretched his hand out, offering it for you to take so he could help you up from the floor. Once you were straightened up, he repeated the offering to his mother, laughing at her as she stumbled due to the wine still flowing through her body. “Can we just all go back to normal?” Manny suggested, and Karen nodded having no idea what the meeting was about in the first place.

“Normal?! I can’t go back to normal when I just heard that y/n and Shawn are gonna be...” Shawn shot her a look, threatening his younger sibling without words but for once, you didn’t care that she was rambling, that she was going to spill, because that would take the weight off you.

Bickering yet again, the parents tried to speak over their supposedly grown up and adult children, “can someone please just tell us what is going on?!”

You sighed, knowing there was only one way out of this bathroom that would involve everyone making friends and getting along as normal. So when Aaliyah and Shawn simply returned to debating who was the right and wrong sibling, you cleared your throat and exclaimed with laughter, “oh my god!”

“I know! I don’t know how you live with this dumbass, and put with him and-”

Shaking you head and interrupting Aaliyah, who continued to torture her brother, you exclaimed to everyone in the room, all of them turning to face you at the most wonderful confession, “i’m pregnant!”

Another two weeks had flown by, the news of your pregnancy spreading far and wide and unintentionally - you broke instagram. Well, not specifically you, nor Shawn, but all the fans that were greeted with the news on the Saturday evening. The same saturday evening you were sat in Connor’s dining room, enjoying your elderflower presse whilst everyone else devoured the beer and wine. Shawn sipped his like he was 15 and was about to get busted by his mom and dad, despite you telling him to enjoy and drink enough for the both of you.

Mila had decided, that now she was turning 25 she should ditch the clubbing scene and opt for a sophisticated dinner party with her closest and dearest. Sophisticated it was not, jokes and tales getting spilt around the table like a bunch of teenagers playing never have I ever. “Man, that holiday, I swear Shawn and y/n did it, like, six times in one day!” Brain laughed, washing his claim down with another gulp of beer. You laughed and Shawn shouted, defending the two of you with everything he had left in him.

“Making a baby is harder than it seems in the movies!” He confessed, pushing his own beer away from him, not really interested in any form of alcoholic beverage, but more so in staying sensible for you.

Your hand fell under the table, reaching across just slightly to rest on his thigh. His body instantly stilled, bottom lip taken captive in between his teeth at your simple touch. Shawn was a sucker for secret public displays of affection, and of course, you knew that. More than ever, 12 weeks into your pregnancy and coming up the end of your first trimester, all you wanted to do was... well... Shawn.

The theory of your sex drive either noticeably increasing or decreasing during pregnancy was one of the many things you’d read in books and articles but was yet to experience it yourself. Up until this past week, where it severely peaked. Shawn had woken up twice with your body straddling his and lips peppering kisses down his body, until they reached a certain morning perkiness. He had payed you back just once, making himself late for a meeting to which of course he had absolutely no regrets.

The two of you were already significantly late to tonight’s party, hair slightly dishevelled and Shawn’s shirt more creased than first intended. You’d practically pinned him down with no other option than to satisfy your needs. He played on the fact you both shouldn’t have been late, but he was more than happy to skip the starter and have you instead.

He cleared his throat awkwardly as your hand cupped him through the material of his pants and you smirked as you felt it harden immediately. Leaning over and brushing against your ear as everyone else carried on their conversations, he whispered. “We’ll get going soon.” His arm fell to rest on the back of your chair, wrapping around your body as you moved into him, both of your chairs unable to be any closer. Brian commented on how sick it made him feel that two people could be so in love, but Mila shouted in your defence, telling him it was sweet.

Whilst continuous stories jumped from person to person, your hand remained in Shawn’s lap, brushing over her sensitive and needy covered cock every so often which only made him shift in his seat. “Meet me upstairs.” You whispered, standing up from your chair and placing your napkin on the table. Putting on your best queezy smile and letting your hand fall to your stomach, you spoke to the group. “Excuse me, guys, I’m just gonna have minute.”

No further questions were asked as you headed out of the room, making sure to smirk at Shawn one final time before you left completely. He gave it a couple of minutes, and he was about to excuse himself, when Mila asked if him if she should go check on you. “No, sit down birthday girl, I’ve got this. I’ve seen enough pregnancy sickness to last me a lifetime.” He joked as he scrapped his chair from under the table, hoping the hardness in his pants had died down in fear of giving away their secret bathroom date.

At the top of the stairs, in the room to the right, you touched up your lipstick and pushed your make up brush into your skin with a dabbing motion to blot away any oils. The door creaked open and you smiled as your curly haired boy appeared, grinning back as he shut the door behind him, of course making sure to switch the lock. “What’s gotten into you?” He raised his eyebrows as he walked over to you, hands finding your waist as you stared at you both in the mirror. Even when you’re in heels, he was notably taller than you, but he appreciated how he didn’t have to bend down as far to leave soft kisses on your skin. Your slinky dress was a thin material, spaghetti straps only just covering a tiny fraction of your shoulders and ending just above your knees further down your body.

There was nothing bad that Shawn thought about the sudden spike in your sex drive, he was still the 20 something year old guy who fancied the fuck out of his wife and he’d be crazy to turn her away and deny her of her pregnancy needs, right?

“Hopefully you.” You purred, trying to sound seductive but following it up with a laugh that most definitely made it more comical. Shawn never laughed though, as he dotted his lips across your shoulder and into the crook of your neck, grabbing a fistful of your hair in his hand and moving it out his loving path. *****A groan left your mouth and said hand came up to cover it, making you bite your lip to muffle your approving sounds. His ivory shirt was tight against his arms as he reached up and covered your lips with his large fingers and you adored how he flexed underneath it with each movement. You wriggled your ass playfully, nudging it backwards pushing your palms against the counter surface to steady yourself. His lips never left your skin as his hips pushed into you, covered areas causing a sexual friction that filled the room. If he wasn’t hard before, he most definitely was now.

One hand loosened on your mouth, allowing you to breathe heavily as you tried your best to stifle your moans. The other worked down your body, smoothing down the soft material of your dress until he reached the bottom hem. He made sure to connect his hands with your skin, pulling the dress up with his movement as he palmed back up your leg, stopping when he reached the curve of your ass that was barely covered by the most pathetic set of underwear he’d ever laid eyes on.

You let a moan slip as he grabbed a handful of you firmly, making you smirk beneath your bitten bottom lip. “Shh.” he hummed into your neck, eyes coming up only slightly to watch you in the mirror, admiring how your head was thrown back against him and neck begging to be taken by his hand.

Nodding clumsily, he continued to hike up your dress, letting it gather at your hips and he finally detached from your skin. He leant back, making sure he was still pushed against you and trapping your body in between his and the counter. You were bent slightly forward, back softly arched and hips writhing in an attempt to feel something against your aching core. He didn’t bother to stop you, only quickly reaching down to fiddle with the buckle of his belt and buttons, allowing his pants to fall down his legs. He left his boxers, for now, and returned to palming the skin of your derrière with eagerness. Squatting down, he came face to face with the asset he’d been focusing his hands on, slapping the inside of your thighs as instruction to widen them. Happily obliging, your heels clicked against the floor as you did so, hands no longer resting on the countertop but more so gripping it as you felt his breathe edge closer to your centre.

Your underwear, or lack of, was tugged down your legs and he helped you to lift each ankle as he pulled it over your heels, supporting your body and holding your weight. He scrunched them up and found the pocket of his pants, shoving them in as a personal souvenir. Just as you were about to moan at him for taking his time, his two middle fingers traced down your folds, a squeal echoing through your closed mouth as you tried to contain yourself. He stroked delicately, nudging your clit every other time until he was happy he’d spread your pre juices enough. And when he was happy, his fingers slid into you effortlessly, grabbing himself as they disappeared into you. He couldn’t bare the ache in his fully hardened length, wanting so desperately to skip the pleasantries and slip straight into taking you from behind. Sitting down, instead of awkwardly squatting beneath you, he also switched direction, so he snaked beneath your legs and his back rested against the counter you was facing. His hands reached around the back of your thighs, pulling you closer to his face without warning. Your desperate core brushed against his lips, hands tightening around the sink with white knuckles at the intimate contact.

It took everything in your to not scream out in pleasure. No amount of intimacy in your own home compared to sneaking away from a party and doing the dirty, much like you used to do in the past and you were forever grateful the spark had never died. You were thankful for his strong grip on the back of your thighs, legs shaking as his tongue caressed your folds from underneath you. He wanted to be beneath you forever, to have you squirming and panting just as you were in this moment. He’d never intended for it to be this... full on, when he came to find you in the bathroom. He thought it would maybe a quickie, a little tease, but something innocent and playful had turned into a lustful dream.

You braved your sudden move, removing one hand from the support of the sink and moved it down, grabbing a fistful of brown curls. The action was warmly welcomed, his tongue slipping deep into you almost causing your legs to buckle completely. The way Shawn made you feel, this far into your relationship was a feeling that could never be taken away; the way he loved you like it was the first and last time all rolled into one.

“God, I, I need you to...” you breathed, pausing and inhaling sharply when he tongue flicked over your nub, circling before he moved back to your swollen folds and your entrance “...get back up here.”

Before you could open your eyes well enough to stop seeing stars, he was back behind you, eyes full of lust and need. Your dress was still hunched around your hips, bottom half of your body bare to the air, although, not for long as shawn stepped forward and muffled his hardened area into the curve of your ass, the more prominent hardness pushing inbetween you. You moaned as the feeling of his briefs confirmed he was stilling donning his boxer shorts, desperate for the feel of skin on skin. He smirked as he pulled away, his boxers decorated with wetness that had gathered in between your legs. He also smirked when freed himself; boxers dropping to his ankles and throbbing cock bouncing free and nestling in between your legs, more specifically, between your needy centre.

Hips thrashing backwards, your peachy asset slapped against his rock-hard hips and you were taken by surprise when he grabbed tightly at your hips, stopping you from moving away. The feel of his cock rubbing through your folds caused a whimper as your eyes travelled up to look into the mirror in front of you both. His tall frame, compared to yours, which was half bent over the counter, looked heavenly as he toyed with you, rocking his hips so he rubbed against your throbbing area a few more times. When he decided he’d had enough of watching you quiver with pleasure beneath him, he reached his arm between you, wrapping fingers around his length and guiding it to your entrance.

With one swift motion, his hips fully pushed against your rear, cock sliding into you as you finally felt him fill you. Your head fell down, trying to control your rapid breathing and screams you so desperately wanted to spill, only just remembering a house full of guests were just a floor beneath you both. Shawn reached over to your neck, grabbing a fistful of your hair and yanking your head upwards, eyes burning into you through the mirror. You bit your bottom lip, smiling underneath, as he faintly smiled back, knocking down the barrier of his serious demeanour. Suddenly you felt more than thankful for the increased sex drive, thrilled by the pleasure and view all of which started and ended with Shawn.

Loud cries were threatening to leave your lips, Shawn’s hand having to take rightful place over your mouth every so often when he heard the sweet sound of your whimpers start to fall. Although, he was not one to talk, very much lost in the moment and the fact he was fucking you in his best friends bathroom, even though it would not be the first time. His grunts grew closer together with every thrust he made, his hips slapping against you with an echo to the room. You came to your high with a fistful of your hair in his hand and teeth sunk into your bottom lip, severely struggling to keep hush. He came to his high when he moved his hand to your mouth, his fingers dancing over your lips until you wrapped your plump and - ruined - lipsticked features around them. *****

And just like that, 30 minutes after entering the bathroom, you and Shawn laughed and joked in front of the mirror you’d literally just performed sexual acts in front of. “Is baby M okay?”

“Shawn, having your penis inside me does not affect the baby.” You laughed, yet again fixing your make up having felt like you’d only just done the same task. “And anyway, apparently closer to when you’re due, having sex is actually good for the whole process.”

“Good job we’ve started early then, isn’t it?”

“We never stopped.”

A small tap on the door put a stop to your giggles, and your hand covered your mouth like a naughty school girl. “Are you two okay? I’m concerned about you and i’m worried i’ve poisoned your baby with aubergine bake.” Mila’s muffled voice spoke through the door and you felt bad for making her feel so concerned. Shawn opened the door and you sat yourself down on the closed toilet seat, quickly ripping off some toilet roll and dabbing under your eyes. You felt evil, for going along with it really, but a pregnant lady gotta do what a pregnant lady gotta do.

Mila rushed over, her palm soothing over your back in order to try and be comforting. You had to stifle a laugh as Shawn reached into his pocket and eyebrows furrowed when his fingers grabbed a delicate material that he usually wouldn’t carry around in his pocket. Pulling out just a fraction of what you believed was your underwear, your lips pulled together in a thin line as Mila babbled on about getting you home and to bed. Shawn’s right eye dropped into a wink as he walked out of the room, tucking your lacey garment back into his pocket where no one could see it. You were already thinking about getting home, and how having no underwear on would be of great, great service. Damn hormones.

It was hard to concentrate on anything other than the flowers as you opened your eyes this morning, the bright yellow petals almost blinding you as the sun crept through the blinds and reflected off them. Beneath the vase was a small cup of pills, including your folic acid that you were instructed to take during pregnancy, and a note in which you immediately recognised the hand writing. You were slightly disappointed he had to leave early this morning, the sexual drive in you still being... higher than normal, but the flowers and note made up for his lack of presence, nonetheless.

happy 19 weeks, baby m is a mango this week!

take ur meds

appointment at 1.30, will pick you up for 1

love you :)

Whenever Shawn left before you, he made sure to leave your meds out, usually on your dressing table but today he’d opted for the bedroom side table with his thoughtful gift. Even if he hadn’t left the house before you, he would be constantly reminding you over breakfast, bringing you a glass of water so you had something to swallow them with. The birds were chirping as you pushed your feet into your cloudy slippers, arms stretching out as you braced yourself to stand up from the bed. It was more refreshing to get out of bed when came naturally as opposed to the past few weeks, where your morning sickness had you literally creeping up to usain bolt’s world record as you ran to the toilet. The sickness had almost vanished and you read that it was normal, that it usually did disappear by the 17 week mark. In place of the morning sickness, there was pains. And aches. And twinges. And niggles. And... more pain.

Your lower stomach gurgled as a stabbing sensation shot through and you tried to stroke it in comfort, although you were nowhere close to soothing the pain. Attempting to power through the inconvenience, you decided you must just be hungry, and proceeded to walk through to the bathroom to get a shower.

Craving of ice cream for breakfast and passion fruit martini’s we’re not that uncommon to you at this stage. Of course you couldn’t act upon the martini, but ice cream aplenty, you were trying your hardest to stay away from the freezer and head to the fruit bowl in the mornings. Despite the old saying, ‘you’re eating for two’ - which, in all honesty, was one of the things you was looking forward to - your doctor informed you that no extra calories were needed for intake until possibly around 6 months in.

You’d managed to lay in until 11am this morning, a very rare occasion for you as a general early bird, leaving you a couple of hours to play with until Shawn would be back to pick you up. Those two hours flew by, almost half of it being spent by procrastinating getting ready and watching modern family instead.

When you looked out the front window, only just having put your shoes on, the time was 12.58 exactly and Shawn’s range rover began to pull down the gravelled driveway. His eyes were covered by his ray bans, curls slightly ruffled as if he’d spent his morning running his hands through them, t shirt stopping just above his biceps to reveal a handful of tattoos. The sun glistened against his skin as he stepped out the vehicle, pulling the sunglasses from his face and looking up to see you swooning down on him, sending a blush to your cheeks.

“I’d shout honey I’m home, but you already know.” He laughed as he walked through the door, throwing his sunglasses and car keys onto the side table, walking over to where you stood on the bottom step.

The bottom step gave you extra height, almost enough to be eye level with him as your arms hooked over his shoulders. “As much as i’d love to stand here and listen to your smugness, we got a baby to go see.” He pressed his lips to yours before letting you snake from underneath him, feeling cold with your lack of presence already. The pain and uncomfort in your stomach had continued all morning, but maybe it was the nerves of going to the hospital or the fact you’d rejected your body of ice cream. Shawn was immediately concerned when your let out a small whimper and squinted your eyes shut, caressing your stomach.

“Hey, what’s up?” He met back up with you, hands coming to your hips as support for your aching figure.

“I think we’re just having a bit of an off day,” you forced a smile, although you knew Shawn wouldn’t buy it.

“Well good job we have an appointment then isn’t it.” He moved forward and let his lips push against your forehead, hands never leaving your lips as he left a tender kiss. “Let’s get going.”

You nodded in agreement, stomach twisting with a mixture of nerves and pain. “I’ll just pee first,” you told before walking to the downstairs bathroom, not far from the front door where Shawn stood, twirling his keys in his hands, clearly eager to get you to the hospital.

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind you, another whimper of pain left your lips and you was glad you managed to keep it in until you were out of Shawn’s watch. He worried, a lot, but only because he cared. “Come on baby, just behave for momma,” you whispered, speaking quietly to your stomach as you shuffled over to the toilet. Hooking your fingers through the belt loops of your jeans, you tugged them down, followed by your underwear. It was a process you’d become all too familiar with, baby using your bladder as a trampoline throughout most days. This time was different; your heart dropped and eyes pricked with tears as you looked down, seeing the sight of what you hadn’t seen in quite some time. “Shawn...” you managed, only half sure he’d actually heard you.

“Babe, we’re pushing it for time, can you hurry?” You could tell he was just the other side of the wooden door, voice loud and assertive. Your hand dipped to between your legs and you winced when you were met with more of what you didn’t want.

“Can... can you come in.” you whimpered, and from the tone of your voice he knew something wasn’t right and pulled the door open without hesitation. He saw you sat on the toilet, which was nothing new, but when his eyes wandered down and he saw the blood covering your underwear and hand pulling away from in between your thighs being covered with the same dark red fluid, his heart dropped like yours had one minute prior. Although he could see what was going on, unable to move and body frozen to the floor, you confirmed the situation with two simple words, “i’m bleeding.”

shawn tag-list; @imaginashawnns @fallinallincurls @mendesficsxbombay

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes smut #dad!shawn #dad!shawnmendes

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years ago

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mtmte liveblog issue 11

and here we have to conclusion to the shadowplay arc...

clearly prowl hasn't seen national treasure smh

prowl, what exactly is confusing you about ‘secret government-sanctioned brainwashing facility’

the fact that prowl was willing to go so strongly against his morals to protect chromedome...oof bro

so the senator is basically professor x and all the outliers are mutants. got it

senator shockwave was just a sexy thot who wanted justice....poor guy

so there ARE gloves on cybertron...am I to just assume that the doctors don't like using them for some reason????? I mean tbf I've known a few medical professionals who don't wear gloves during certain procedures, like giving shots which, imo, yikes I would never, even simple vaccines can cause bleeding, but to each their own...are ppe rules not strict on cybertron, or is there a low risk of infection transfer due to the nature of cybertronian diseases? ah, the real questions

anyways. I should stop going on extremely off-topic medical rants

I relate to tailgate in his tendency to misspell. these liveblogs would be unreadable if it weren't for spellcheck

ouch, the fact that cd ‘never really forgave’ prowl for leaving the heist party w/out a word, even tho it turns out prowl stormed off w/a final request to keep cd safe and out of it all....cd and prowl are just a big tragic trainwreck huh

its interesting that skids used to be religious, when it seems like he isn't now. Wonder What Could Have Caused That Shift In Ideology! Hm!

oh my god I love how ironfist’s fanboy ranting about the primal vanguard is cut short just as he’s saying ‘a bomb disposal kit once used by-’ bc its like Oh I bet he was about to mention tailgate, yknow, the guy who (claims he) was the primal vanguard’s bomb disposal guy...that's such a great little detail

the stuff we hear from roller about senator shockwave is super interesting - it sounds like he’s been pretty aware of the state of society for a while, and has been trying to combat it from the inside...which isn't going so great, it seems, considering the state of society at the time.

also the whole ‘modifying people to hold the matrix (sometimes without their consent?)’ thing he’s got going on is. interesting. again, is there any sort of ethics laws on cybertron, seriously guys,

oof, op cares so much abt senator sw :( they were in love okay

red alert :(

rodimus is such an interesting character AUGH the fact that he takes red alert’s potential suicide to be a personal failing on his part as a captain...which, yknow, that idea has merit considering rodimus’s part in the whole overlord thing, as well as rodimus having told red alert that ‘everyone thought he was losing it.’ yeahhhhh, that's not quite the approach to take w/someone clearly suffering from a paranoid breakdown

poor magnus has no idea about all the overlord stuff, which is what triggered red alert’s breakdown

tho, magnus, idk that putting red alert in a cryofreeze chamber or w/e is the solution here. although maybe they’re all just at a loss bc cybertron’s only mental health specialist is current hanging out comatose in a bar

are we supposed to (retrospectively) read into rodimus and drift’s agreement to put red alert in storage as a way of covering up the overlord stuff? did they deduce that he figured out about overlord and that's what caused his breakdown? rodimus seems genuinely distressed about the whole cold storage situation, but is there more to it than ‘I failed as a captain bc this guy had a breakdown under my command’? I genuinely do not remember a lot about the overlord plot bc I was so confused the first time I read it and the second time I was too busy being extremely sad, so.

genuinely shocked that cybertron even has ‘health and safety inspections.’ it just figures that the one ratchet conducted wasn't an actual inspection, but an excuse to prepare for some good ole fashioned heisting

man I love a good heist/break-in

ok so skids rlly is just here for his grappling hook hvbhksddfjbjkdf my man

UH OH SENATE GOONS. never good

whoa, cybertronians have glenohumeral joints?? tho, ratchet says ‘glenohumeral socket,’ which doesn't exist in humans - we have a glenoid cavity/fossa/socket that articulates w/the head of the humerus to form the glenohumeral joint, so, close enough

anyways, that sure was a nonsequiter. ratchet busting out his lock picking skills is dope. do they teach that sorta stuff in cybertronian medical school? maybe its in place of the patient confidentiality lesson

seriously, ratchet sure knows a lot about bombs for a doctor. maybe they also cut out the courses on ppe and patient consent to make room for the cool stuff like BOMB CLASSES

op really DOES like jumping off stuff, doesn't he

oh no senator :(

JK HERES OP BUSTIN THRU A DUDES CHEST

oh no roller :(

‘remember me how I was’ NOOOO IM GONNA FUCKING CRY. SW AND OP MAKE ME SO SAD. GOD

op yeeted that matrix bomb like he was trying to make a touchdown or...something. not sure why I chose football, the only sport I dislike, as my metaphor here

lol it blew up a police station, nice

god, that reveal that the institute that we saw last issue was just one of many....and the one we saw was strikingly awful enough, so the fact that there's a ton more like that....oof

also, again, super interested in the fact that cd was involved in this arc where they see how scary and evil the institute is and then ended up working for the institute - well, the ‘new institute’ - later on

I'm weeping at the ‘big reveal’ for tailgate being that orion pax is optimus prime....its so funny that he didn't know that so it was a huge twist for him and absolutely nobody else hvbakdjhfbksjdf I love tailgate

also. is that the picture somebody drew of op for tg lmao

:D and then skids manages to wake rung up!!! all by getting his name wrong lmao. tho, maybe all the storytelling helped!

oh shit its zeta (prime?), here to talk to op, presumably about becoming the next space pope

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD THAT REVEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! BROOOOO the senator shockwave reveal slapped me right in the FACE the first time I read this, and that's saying something bc I seriously only understood like 40% of the shadowplay story my first readthru. but the shockwave reveal still had me SHOOK like oh god that was so fucking brutal. jesus

like the fact that the emotionless decpeticon shockwave used to have a completely different look and personality is already crazy enough, but then the tie-ins of empurata and shadowplay? brutal and amazing

like, this is the kinda retrospective backstory stuff that I love. it gives a lot of cool depth to both the characters and the world. I feel like it really helped cement concepts like empurata and shadowplay in the world

and just, AUGH The Reveal still gets me...im pretty sure in my first readhtru I only picked up the fact that the senator PURPOSELY hasn't been named during this issue, and I was kinda ready for some sort of reveal but also figured it could be someone I didn't know bc of my limited tf lore knowledge, but even I knew who shockwave was and phew that blew me away

that full-page art spread is fuckin banging also

anyways, shadowplay arc! I really enjoy this arc and all its genre-hopping goodness, and the framing device of the characters telling a story is a lot of fun. plus we get to see a lot of cool backstory for many characters, and got tons of great worldbuilding for jro’s pre-war cybertron.

I understood a lot more of the story upon my second (and now third) readthru of the series, which was super rewarding bc the first time I wasn't able to follow a lot of stuff (1st readthru I tended to assume that me being confused about something was due to my lack of previous knowledge of lore/story, so I didn't often analyze stuff seriously, or even employ critical thinking skills lmao).

also some gnarly stuff went on w/the red alert b-plot, which we’ll pick up with later....

#lj rereads mtmte

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darkestwolfx · 5 years ago

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Breakdown - Re-Review #16

Sorry for the couple days of silence! So here is the next part of the series and then I’ll be throwing up some more of my March Prompt Series tonight too. I also just wanted to say a massive thank you for the support to this series! Thank you everyone who reads, reblogs and lets me know what you think! You all keep me going.

But for now let’s stick with this gem of an episode.

So today people, is actually Sunday August 15th 2060 - no, I really want you all to imagine this with me let’s forget about the C-virus for a moment (just a moment because this isn’t me saying anything to do down the situation, rather enjoy your next five minute read and then think about it if you wish to) because we’re obviously still standing in 40 years time or IR would serve no purpose! And we are presuming the brothers have planned a surprise party - oohhh... (did anyone else think it seemed a little mean to start with)! And they’ve even managed to end up with a real rescue (I bet the distraction plan otherwise would have involved Gordon and Alan in some way)! And they’ve even stretched so far as to getting him a cake - from Paris, France! So I want to know how Virgil didn’t manage to find said cake, because they had to have picked that up in advance considering the travel time really and to factor in that they couldn’t have accounted for a rescue popping up with such appropriate timing... okay, birthday party issues out of the way- let’s go on!

If you haven’t already sussed it out, this episode is really all about Virgil. Screensaver materials, right here everyone (just doing my pubic duty for the day by pointing that out).

So we start out with everyone ‘forgetting’ Virgil’s birthday and then a rescue being called in.

And so of course, Virgil responds and heads out there to help.

“Thunderbirds go were other tow trucks can’t.”

“It will be a quick one. You’ll be there and back before lunch.”

“It’s beautiful! It looks like a... huge frosted birthday cake.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

And rescues this guy - hooray!

Who said ‘Breakdown’ 6 times in the opening scene (and it’s said about 17 times during the episode in total - so no wonder it’s the episode title).

“We’ll soon have you toasty as a teacake. Hmm... cake.”

And then he goes home, has a lovely birthday party and some great cake! For anyone who doesn’t know me that well and has yet to realise, I Love cake. My best friend now has her own business and that is great, but at the same time, makes me eat loads of cake!

Anyhow, Virgil had a lovely birthday party, all was well, end of review! See you tomorrow :)

Yeah, not what happened (though what we might have liked to happen), as well all know. A birthday party isn’t a rescue and clearly the writers thought we wouldn’t want to watch that - I would have, thank you very much, but hey - so on we go with the rescue, part 2.

So because Virgil is really good at thinking, he realises there is a tunnel and goes down there! I mean, I think this is another one of these ‘red button’ moments... just because you can see one, doesn’t mean you have to press it. Likewise, just because there’s a tunnel...

But it’s his birthday so I won’t criticise!

“Did someone call a tow truck?”

I think Thunderbird Two is a little more sophisticated than that but that was Virgil’s choice in words.

“Perhaps we should change our name to International Breakdown?”

“International Breakdown, we have a situation. Hmm, doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.”

It was a good call to go down there though because he meets Dr Peck (whose also in red - there’s so many red uniforms in this episode). First time I watched this episode, I was like: ‘You’re an idiot man’.

I still feel a little like that, but I really do understand where he was coming from. It was a pretty valid cause to be undertaking something like this, unlike some we know *cough*Lemaire*cough*Fischler*cough*.

“It’s incredibly inconvenient!”

He sounds a bit like them though, but better cause, still I remind myself.

I still think Virgil’s heavy lifting equipment would have caused the ice to crack further after he nearly fell... but that’s not my are of expertise.

“Thunderbird Five, does the big book of saving people say anything about saving someone who doesn’t actually want to be rescued?”

“Does he seem like he’s lost his mind or acting against his will?”

“He’s weird and rude and kinda frustrating.”

“I’m due a little birthday luck.”

That you were Virgil, and that was such a close call. Any later and Thunderbird Two would have fallen down with the ice.

Rescue count: 22

“He’s on his way back.”

“Hooray!”

And then hours still pass before Virgil comes back.

And Doctor Peck (standing up now despite his injury) kindly rings Virgil which was a really nice touch and ends up being the only person to actually wish him happy birthday, which is both yay and aww and I still don’t know which one I’m leaning towards it being for me.

But do you mind ringing him back Virge and asking if he can;

1. jump 40 years into the future

2. Jump out of a fictional tv show and become real

3. Find us a cure?

Because he owes you right?

I’ve had to resort to my birthday collage from my original review, because 5 years later and it is still impossible to find good photos of these scenes. The balloons just gradually giving up over the course of the episode made me chuckle.

Also - anyone else notice the party hats? This is kinda a small image, but go back and watch it if you want to see properly, although you can sorta see it in the image below;

Basically, Scott’s is blue and red, Gordon’s is yellow, Kayo’s is black, Alan’s is red - matching the colours of their Thunderbirds (or in Scott’s case, the ones he pilots/co-pilots). Grandma’s is purple - matching what she wears, and Brains I didn’t quite get to. I wonder if Virgil’s would have been green and John’s orange...

So... on like a final note, I’d also kinda like to have known what was in the presents....

I mean, let’s face it, it probably couldn’t have been worse than Alan’s 21st birthday present in TOS ‘Attack of the Alligators’.

Yeah... that present was no a success...

See alligators (it’s a pygmy alligator pictured), I don’t mind so much, but crocodiles creep me out. I’ve studied them (because Orinoco crocodiles are critically endangered) and I’ve seen a Black Caiman (just think large, like really large for both - so Orinoco’s are the only crocodiles bigger than BC’s in the neotropics).

As a huge dolphin/whale lover, I was heartbroken to see a dead Amazon River Dolphin (also endangered) from the continued impact of BC crocodile’s teeth, and I stayed with a family out there whose son had a run in with one and was lucky to escape with his arm after being pulled under by one. The scar was horrific! If you want any context, these things have the bite force to shatter a turtle shell so... Anyhow enough that relates to my work - if anyone really does want to hear any more about anything above, just let me know and I will post about it.

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beabaseball · 5 years ago

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this is a delirious 11pm post for Adults Only guys

Leave this space, child!

...

...y’all teenagers are going to be tweaked out of their goddamn minds.

Like, not necessarily in the drugged way, though some maybe yes in the drugged way, but like. Specifically in the non-drug way, they’re going to be snippy, and inattentive, and self centered. And that’s probably fine.

Like. Of course teens are self-centered, their bodies are doing weird shit for the first time and people keep making jokes they don’t understand yet, and some of these fuckers haven’t been given sex ed so they don’t even know what’s coming.

The younger teens have just emerged from the child form that has only just started being able to comprehend a larger world. In elementary school, sure I was reading time magazine for kids and we prayed for people who were being reported (religious school; recent tsunami, it happens) and when I was in 1st or 2nd grade we heard rumors that once upon a time women weren’t allowed to do the same stuff as men, but like— you can feel those things, but it’s not really something that you comprehend unless it’s right then a part of your life. I remember the first time I really ‘got’ sexism was in ninth grade in a gym class of 24 boys to 3 + me girls, and I wrote bad poetry about it in my phone for like three months trying to process it.

When I was like 16 our car broke down midway to school and we had to call my dorm parent to come drive me the next 5 mins, and so he’s in a bad mood bc he has to pick me up, and mom is in a bad mood bc car she gets a feeling dorm parent didn’t believe her when she said the car broke down, and it’s like 80 out but more importantly the humidity is a swamp, and I just remember being in his car driving the rest of the way to school and he’s complaining about sunburns bc he’s super pale and Irish, but he’s trying to talk so I kind of say “huh well i’ve never gotten a sunburn. I tan real fast and then go inside and I’m white again.”

and even in the moment I remember being like “that’s not really what he wanted to hear” and I think he even made a face, but I was too out of it and hot and tired to really do anything passed that. And I do feel kind of bad about it? Like, I did not mean to demean his pain of sunburns and I know also that at the time he was having A Rough Time with his marriage, to the point where he had us doing religious plays about parenthood for three seasons straight.

But also, I was a teenager. And looking back I can’t exactly blame my past self for just kinda... saying some words and feeling bad the rest of the car ride but also too tired to care. Theater teacher man wasn’t a bad guy; we were definitely not good at reading each other and he thought musicals sucked, but he also was the one who comforted me out of a panic attack when we had a tornado warning and I ended up convinced my daystudent friend was going to die.

Because that’s what I cared about at the time. Me-related things. Yes, tornado, but I am worried about one (1) person, and that mattered to me. I stayed behind when we got an actual sex-ed person in 7th grade because I was scared that reading yaoi would send me to hell. I had a breakdown in front of my history professor because one of my friends was discovering her gender identity and I was scared I was ‘losing her’ (you know the words!)

Now, someone comes out to me or someone doesn’t understand a term and I’m over here like “yea which definition u wanna use” but back then I was a kid and I had never experienced anything like this before, my hormones were wild—which didn’t mean I was horny and wanted boyfriend, it meant I was in constant fear of bleeding through things and every now and then I would wake up and my body would be in surprise unknowable pain (aka I was finally big enough to cut off my own circulation in my sleep and also growing pains)

Now, I’ve got a lot of that under control. When I wake up with a body in pain I usually know why and probably it is my fault actually. I know a bit better how to get through days when I’m too hot, or too groggy, or just dissociation or mad. (The trick is: say aloud, “sorry if I’m not responding much, I’m just really hot/groggy/out of it/still upset about that.” )

That’s not something a lot of teens have down yet. I saw a kid with a naruto shirt on at work once and I said “hey naruto” and he looked at me like he’d seen the face of god, he was so surprised someone knew what naruto was. To someone even MILDLY in my age range, the idea of not knowing who Naruto is is preposterous. But this was like, 12-15 year old at the most. Not hit his growth spurt yet. Just absolutely blindsided that there was an outside world which recognized something he liked, which I’m gonna wildly guess his parents probably aren’t into or don’t talk about it with him, because the thought of talking Naruto with your kid is horrifying.

Obviously, thinking other people don’t know about naruto is a similar kind of self-centered thought along the lines of “I bet thigh chick isn’t a REAL fan of x” or “EVERYONE has an opinion on me and there is no in between” where like the world... sort of revolves around you.

And like, once that person grows up if they keep that sort of self-focus, that’s usually the time you start trying to ditch them, but even older teens are still just coming out of that larval childhood state. They know a lot more about the world than we probably did at their age—I know a lot of them aren’t having the same existential crisis over their friends’ gender like I did, which is a big ol step— but there are still days that it’s going to be too much new shit to deal with, plus whatever else is happening inside them personally. And it’ll take a while to learn how to handle that.

In the meantime, they might be snappish, or out of it, or just kind of give up and have a ‘fuck it’ attitude sometimes, and it drives a lot of adults just goddamn insane it seems, according to all the mildly aggressive parents at work, trying to get kids who don’t want to be there to give the right reactions. It’s probably not even anything personal to the event that’s making them unhappy. One time I talked to a kid who was crying, and when I got her to tell me what was bothering her, it turned out that some people on her family reunion were mean to her. Nothing about the immediate ‘now’, just a lot of emotion that needed to go somewhere, and that somewhere ended up being crying, and it was not at all about respect or disrespect or anything related to us. Probably most of what was needed was to talk about it (success) and take a long nap.

The first time I remember having a meltdown with a ‘trigger’ like that, I was in 5th grade and my first assignment was something like “what did you do over summer” so I lost my entire shit and cried on the couch for an hour. Passed out, slept til 7, woke up and was fed soup, and have no idea if I finished that paper but presumably I did because I remember a nap and food working.

I would keep having these homework meltdowns periodically, and I don’t know when they stopped, but I had at least one, maybe two, in my first year of college.

And eventually I’ve just kinda.... stopped having them. Stress about a big project wasn’t something that bothered me anymore. You just did it one step at a time, and when you started thinking “maybe I’ll do it in the morning”, you immediately go to bed because you’ve already lost the fight and even if you don’t do it in the morning at least you won’t face it sleep deprived.

It takes time and living to get these experiences, and while one kid might not have the same issues with school work I had, maybe something else just knocks them on their ass every time (same) and it is just. Literally something you need to live through a couple times before you know how to deal with it. You can provide Blank Slate Alien Person with all the mental health tips and anecdotal advice and chamomile tea as you want, but the first couple times they face stress, none of those tips help if they don’t know how to implement them.

If you’ve ever assembled something by instructions and ended up building it upside down—it’s easier to build it again once you’ve gotten mad and undone it and started again. Because you’ve practiced. You already had the instructions, but now you have the experience of building it already, even if the result wasn’t the one you wanted.

Teens are learning a) how to read instructions, and b) that their assembly is probably upside down. and in the meantime, the world is also bonkers wild right now.

When they have that moment of rage, or giving up, or aloofness upon finding shit got built upside down— just. Let them.

You don’t have to ‘fix’ it or ‘fix’ them for having these emotions, or lack of them.

These are normal reactions. They make sense. All I’m asking is that we understand it’s going to happen. These emotions are going to happen.

Don’t let yourself justify being mean to kids and teens by telling yourself they’re being disrespectful. The world and their lives and emotions also don’t revolve around you. It’s not always a rebellion or reason to fight when things get too high strung to hold total control of.

That doesn’t mean ignore them. I was maybe 12 or 13, and it was 90 on a metal ship, and i was wearing an under shirt because i didn’t have a bra, so two layers of clothes on a hot metal ship, on my period— and all I remember is asking my dad to let us sit down and eat some lunch, because i was dizzy and dehydrated, and all he just kept saying we would do it once he saw the tour. I have no idea how long it was but I probably could’ve cried and been called moody or uncooperative.

Life is difficult. Especially for people who aren’t yet in control of their situations. Who are still bursting out with emotions they can’t otherwise articulate.

Be kind to that.

#long post #ramble #teenagers #kids #teens #puberty #puberty Sucks #especially when the world continues to exist around you #beatext #memories

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archivistsrock · 6 years ago

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I finally got to see Papi Chulo this weekend! I never thought the day would come! lol. I swear, it's been like a million years since it first was at TIFF.

Here’s the trailer for the movie:

youtube

General impressions: I really liked it! It was playing at a theater that was over an hour away from me, so I didn't want to ask any of my friends to go (they aren't Matt fans. I mean, that makes it sound like they don't like him, which isn't true...they're just not FANS). So I dragged my mom with me LOL. She's a trooper. Anyway, because I dragged my mom there, I was a little preoccupied the whole time wondering/worrying if she was bored. I really need to just go to Matt movies alone so I'm not focused on the enjoyment of the person I'm with. I worry too much.

But anyway, it was good! It was sweet and sad and funny. It was a little slow-paced, I would say. But not necessarily in a bad way. There are a few things that are revealed during the movie that makes things more impactful. I knew about them beforehand, bc I'm a slut for spoilers ha, but probs would have been more impactful if I hadn't known.

Matt is really good in it. I adore his character (Sean). He's just a really nice guy. Well-intentioned. Obvs has some flaws, but who doesn't? It's nice to have a movie where almost every scene features Matt. <3 Alejandro Pitino was also great in it. And Janet from The Good Place is also in it! lol.

To be honest, I don't really see it as a "buddy movie," which they seem to kind of be marketing it as. Mainly because the friendship is really one-sided. Ernesto maybe "gets along" with Sean, but I think it's a big stretch to say they're friends. The movie is much more about dealing with loss and loneliness than about friendship, and of the importance of real human interaction. By nature of Ernesto being an immigrant, the movies touches on some issues related to that, as well...but I don't see them as nearly the main focus.

I had kind of stopped reading reviews about the movie bc, tbh, I was just super annoyed that I couldn't see it. After viewing it, I went and read the more critical review on The Wrap [x]. And honestly? She's not wrong. I think some of her critiques are a wee bit harsh, but overall I can't really argue against most of her points. That said, I definitely don't think the movie is OFFENSIVE. But I do get the criticisms and why some people may not enjoy it. But I really did.

Okay, now I'm going to get really detailed and spoilery by request, so stop reading if you haven't seen it and don't like being spoiled! I warned you!

Okay, here's a run-down of the movie -- as detailed as I can get, considering I saw it 4 days ago and tbh my memory kind of sucks. It starts out with the clip we've all seen of Matt doing the weather forecast and having a breakdown on air.

Go to 6:35 to see that clip below:

youtube

He tries to claim it was "gastro" related, but obvs no one buys that. They force him to go home and take a leave of absence to figure things out and get better (istg they later refer to this as "gardening leave" and is that a thing in some places??? Like, you get leave to work on your garden?? OKAY I just looked it up and LOL it's just a term for someone still getting paid after they're suspended or on leave or terminated. It seems to be a British term. Must have come from the director, who's Irish. Or have other US-folks heard this term?). Anyway, back to the movie.

So he's at home. Nice house. Good view of LA. Lots of coyotes howling at night. He's arranged to have a couple people come by to pick up this rare tree that's on his deck, that belonged to his ex-boyfriend, Carlos. He keeps calling Carlos and leaving voice messages. "Hey, just letting you know I'm getting rid of your tree." Etc. So they drag the tree away and we notice that when Carlos painted the deck, he didn't bother moving the tree, so there's a big unpainted circle in the middle of the deck. "Typical Carlos..." So Sean drives to the small hardware store to get supplies to fix this.

Outside the hardware store, there are a bunch of Latino immigrants/laborers hoping to get hired by people to do...home improvement/handy man stuff. Sean sees Ernesto and seems preoccupied/interested in him. Ernesto, as you know, is an older more burly Latino guy. Sean goes into the hardware store are talks to an employee about paint for his deck. "I just need a small amount to cover a little spot on the deck." "Aren't you going to paint the whole deck so it blends in?" "Haha, I see what you're trying to do there. No, just the tiny-ass sample can please."

So he gets home and starts painting in the circle, and it's painfully obvious he'll need to redo the whole deck, since all the rest of the paint has faded. So he drives back to the hardware store and is like, "Yeah, so I know I ignored your advice before. Sorry, I'm dumb." He buys more paint and a bigger brush. So he drives home with all his stuff, again passing the laborers and looking at Ernesto.

Once home, he checks his email and there's messages from his friends about how he's doing -- presumably since his break-up with Carlos. He's been avoiding his friends, and they're telling him he needs real human interaction and should talk to someone. He has kind of a light bulb moment and drives back to the hardware store and pulls up alongside the Latino laborers. He's like, "Hey, I need someone who can paint." A bunch of them are kind of in his face about it, wanting to be hired. Ernesto is just hanging back, quiet. Sean points to Ernesto and asks if he can paint. He's like "Yes. $20/hour." "Great!" (although Ernesto speaks little English and Sean speaks little Spanish, so it wasn't that easy). So Ernesto gets back in the car and they drive to Sean's house.

He kind of reminds me of me during this part, because he hired Ernesto to work for him, but when they're getting out of the car and Ernesto gets the bag of paint, Sean is like, "No, no! Let me get that!" They go back and forth a bit, but Ernesto ends up carrying it. Anyway, I always feel weird having people do things for me, even if I'm paying them. So he shows Ernesto the deck and we get the other scene we've seen before. The "more than one day" scene. "Mas que un dia."

youtube

Sean is all like, "Do you want water? Food? Are you okay?" etc. Ernesto is kind of amused but also just like...leave me alone and let me work. This is weird. I don't understand anything you're saying.

Sean goes and gets lunch and brings it back and yells out to Ernesto, "Lunch!" Ernesto is like...okay. Time to eat, I guess. And sits down on the deck and takes something wrapped in tinfoil out of his bag. Sean is like, "No! Inside! I brought lunch for us!" And it's like this whole big spread. Some type of Asian cuisine. I can't remember which, but Ernesto picks up an eggroll and is like, "Taquito!" lol. You can tell Ernesto is a little uncomfortable with everything, but he's also just like...rolling with it. Okay, you're paying me. I guess we're eating lunch.

Then Sean convinces him to leave with him and they go to a park and Sean wants to go out in a rowboat. Sean wants to row, but Ernesto is like, "Yeah, I'm not going in there with you unless I row." So he ends up rowing. Please note, that all this "conversation" is not as smooth as I'm writing it! Ernesto really doesn't get much of anything Sean says. Anyway, Sean treats the rowboat ride like he's in therapy. He just starts spilling his feelings and issues out to Ernesto. Ernesto just nods like, "Yeah, okay." At one point, I think he does say something like, "I don't understand anything you're saying." Sean is like, "I feel so much better just saying this stuff out loud!" He falls asleep in the boat, and Ernesto calls his wife and is like, "GUESS WHERE I AM?? IN A FUCKING ROWBOAT WITH THIS GUY." His wife is like, "Ha! He's gay and he totally digs you." Ernesto is like,"Yeah, he's gay. But he doesn't like me. I'm old. I'm fat. Why would he like me?" His wife is all cute and is like, "I'm a woman. I know these things. He's into you." Then Sean wakes up so Ernesto hangs up the phone.

They get back to the pier and the rowboat operator guy says, "I like this whole "Driving Miss Daisy" situation you guys have going on!" Sean gets pissed and is like, "What do you mean?? We're friends. Why would you say it's like "Driving Miss Daisy"??" The operator guys gets all uncomfortable and is like..."Umm...because he's rowing you around....?" So Sean is pissed that the guy assumes he paid Ernesto to row him around. But also like...it's true. As much as Sean is annoyed that the man is making that assumption, they really aren't friends. The only reason they're there together is because Sean is paying Ernesto. So he then drops Ernesto back off at the hardware store at the end of the day and is like. "Tomorrow? Here at the hardware store?" "Okay." Then he pays him the money he owes him and they part ways.

I don't recall exactly the timeline here, but at various points throughout the movie, Sean is scrolling through Grindr, or whatever hook-up app it is he's using. He's also shown lying in bed at night and is tortured by the sound of coyotes howling.

He picks up Ernesto the next morning and is like, "We're hiking. Not painting." So he takes him to Runyon Canyon to hike. On the hike, Sean keeps talking talking talking and Ernesto is still like, "Okay, I have no idea what you're saying." At a scenic viewpoint, they're looking out at the city. Sean casually asks where Ernesto lives, and this kind of freaks Ernesto out. Like "Why do you want to know??" Sean's like, "Oh, I'm just curious!" Anyway, he points and says the general area (I can't remember which town/neighborhood it was). While they're standing there, one of Sean's friends sees them and comes over. He volunteers to take a pic of the two of them, and when he does, he says, "Cute couple!" Sean starts to correct him but then doesn't. Ernesto doesn't say anything, obviously. The friend then invites Sean to a party he's having the next evening. Sean does learn a little about Ernesto throughout the few days together. He learns he's married and has kids. He sees a pic of them. Honestly, that's about it.

Ernesto calls his wife from here and again is like, "Guess where the fuck I am now?? HIKING. Yeah, it's pretty." But he actually feels guilty for getting paid to go on hikes. His wife is like, "Whatever. He's paying you. Cool beans." Sean then takes Ernesto to a health market and wants him to try a shot of some gross health drink. He takes a sip and is like, "No. This is disgusting." Sean's like, "Yeah, you're right. It's horrid. But it's healthy and I'm drinking it bc it cost a shit ton." Oh, while Sean was buying the drink, one of the store employees went up to Carlos and handed him a bunch of boxes because he thought he worked there. He got him mixed up with another Latino guy working there. Awkward. White people are dumb.

Sean drives Ernesto back the hardware store and is like, "Okay, tomorrow. Meet you here. Also, we're going to a party later that night."

I don't remember the next day very well. I assume maybe Ernesto did some work? Not sure. Anyway, they then go to Sean's friend's party together. It a big party of all gay men. Ernesto gets kissed on the mouth (not in a sexual way) by one of Sean's friends. He obvs feels a little uncomfortable. Mostly bc he doesn't know any of them and I assume can't communicate with them. He doesn't seem to have a big issue with gay guys. Whenever Sean's friends see Ernesto, they're all like, "Oh, I get it." We later see Sean's phone contacts and a pic of his ex Carlos, and he is also an older, burlier Latino man. So clearly, Ernesto reminds Sean of Carlos. Now we understand his...obsession? Fixation? Attachment?

Ernesto calls his wife from the party is is kind of freaking out about it. "A MAN KISSED ME ON THE MOUTH." But his wife is like, "Dude, have fun." So he seems to have a decent time. Then they leave the party in a Lyft and there's a pretty great scene where Madonna's "Borderline" comes on the radio and Ernesto is like, "Hey, I know this song!" So they drunkenly sing it together in the back of the Lyft. The Lyft stops at the hardware store, and they're both sitting in the back of the car looking at each other. Sean looks a little confused as to why Ernesto is sitting there looking at him. He then leans in to kiss Ernesto, but Ernesto is like. "No! I'm waiting for my money." The Sean's like, "OMG yeah. Sorry." And he pays him and Ernesto gets out. Then the Lyft takes Sean home.

We then see Ernesto make his way home. He has to take a couple buses. He finally get home and we see his house and his wife. It's a pretty nice house. Normal, I mean. Not Sean-level nice. His wife is awesome. Ernesto is like, "Honey, you were right. I am irresistible." "I told you I knew!" Then they go to the bedroom to presumably have sex.

The next day, Sean drives to the hardware store but none of the Latino guys are out there. He's confused and asks someone driving by where all the men are, and the guy's like, "It's Labor Day, you fucking idiot." So Sean drives home. He gets drunk and ends up inviting a guy over from Grindr. He quickly gets in the shower (shower scene!), and ends up falling in the shower while holding a glass and cuts himself a bit. Then the doorbell rings so he gets out. He answers the door clothed, but wet. The hot guy is like, "You're wet." "I just showered." Sean invites the guy in and asks if he wants a drink. "Not at this hour." (early) "No, no...just like...water?" Sean turns to pour a glass of water and hot guy strips naked in the kitchen. Sean turns and sees him and is like, "HOLY SHIT!" and drops his glass. He goes down to pick up the glass, and pops back up all bloody. His head is cut, his hands are cut up. The naked guy is just like.."Are you okay?? Are you drunk?" And is kind of legit concerned for him. Sean is like, "No! I'm fine!" Naked guy is like, "Um, I got naked because I assumed we were going to...?" Sean is like, "Listen, can we just talk?" Naked guy puts his clothes on and is like, "You need to get your shit figured out. Only you can make yourself happy." Then he leaves.

At some point...today? Tomorrow? Yesterday? I don't know, but at some point he goes back to the news station to be like, "Hey! I'm ready to go back to work!" His boss shows him the video of his breakdown that's on youtube. AWKWARD. And they're like, "It's been 4 days. Leave." So he does.

He calls his ex Carlos to say...something. But instead of getting his voicemail, he gets a message saying that the number has been disconnected. He freaks out and calls someone and asks the lady on the phone why the number was disconnected. "Why wouldn't we disconnect it? Carlos has been dead for 6 months." :O So now we learn that Carlos isn't an ex...he actually died 6 months prior. So this is why Sean is having such a hard time. There's then these flashback scenes from previous moments in the movie. We see Sean in the rowboat talking, but he's alone. We see him hiking and talking to no one. At first I was like, "Did Sean make Ernesto up??" But no, that's not it. I think this was just supposed to represent that Sean was using Ernesto as a stand-in for Carlos. He felt so much better those two days talking to "Carlos," but Carlos wasn't really there. He was still alone. Ernesto isn't his lover, isn't his friend. Just a guy he hired. [I think? Anyone else have other interpretations of this?]

The next day he goes to pick up Ernesto and he's not there. He tries asking the other men where Ernesto is, and they're basically making fun of Sean. "Hey, I'll go on a boat with you!" Word has got out that Sean is having Ernesto do all this weird shit. I think Ernesto's wife was talking. Sean seems to frantically need Ernesto. He drives to the town where Ernesto said he lived (population of like 60,000) and just starts asking people if they know Ernesto. Some kid steals his phone and whacks him over the head with his skateboard. Sean goes into a bar and gets wasted. He then sees a guy go into the bar that he recognized as Ernesto's brother-in-law from a pic Ernesto showed him. So he follows him to a house, and there's a Quinceanera going on. I guess Ernesto's daughter?? But I didn't remember him having daughter that age, so I could be wrong. idk. Anyway, Sean drunkenly crashes the party. They dump him in one of the kids' bedrooms where he passes out. He wakes up later and slinks out.

Time has passed during the next scene, and Sean is back at work, but makes an announcement that this is his last weather report. He's leaving. We don't know where or for what. But we had learned earlier while he was talking away with Ernesto that he doesn't even like being a weatherman and he actually hates the weather in California. So it seems he's moving on. He seems much healthier. He write Ernesto a letter apologizing for crashing the party, saying how ashamed he is and that he was going through a tough time.

Sean's at home and the doorbell rings. He goes to the door and it's Ernesto's son (like 8 years old??). Ernesto comes out of the truck with painting supplies. The kid acts as an interpreter. They go up to the deck and Ernesto starts working. Sean is like, "You don't need to do this! Why are you finishing the deck?" Ernesto is like, "Because you sent me $200 with the letter." Sean is like, "No, not to finish the deck! For room and board!" He sent him the money as an apology for crashing the party and for them letting him sleep it off in their house and for some food they left out for him. Anyway, they start sanding the deck together (Sean is a terrible sander). Ernesto is like, "You're not paying me!" They laugh. Movies fades to black.

#papi chulo #ask #you asked for as detailed as I could get!#so here you go!

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lizardrosen · 6 years ago

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Andrew Scott Hamlet (2017)

I'm finally watching the Andrew Scott Hamlet and it's so good!

This post is mostly a liveblog I did on twitter, but edited for reading clarity, and with a few notes I took that I didn’t talk about in my posts.

the watchtower scene is in a security guard room filled with screens, and the ghost makes the camera short out

Andrew Scott is just. a perfect hamlet - AUGH, his bitter laugh at “unmanly grief”. He stays inside while everyone else is dancing on the balcony outside, and sits on his suitcase in the dark. He’s a good sad boy.

and he's FRIENDS with both laertes and ophelia - he and laertes share a genuinely friendly hug before laertes leaves, and then it’s so clear how much ophelia and hamet care for each other, and she holds him as he cries, and cheers him up.

Polonius is a Good Dad, and while most of his advice is stuff he's said hundreds of times before, "this above all..." isn't rehearsed, he really just wants to say what he means to a child he loves dearly

oh cool, i'm loving how they rearranged and merged the scenes here!

Hamlet's "too too solid flesh" merges into him kissing ophelia and hiding behind the couch while laertes and polonius tell her not to trust him, and then he speaks with horatio, and they just miss r&g - he hasn't gone to see the ghost yet, so he hasn't put on an antic disposition, which means claudius was already planning to keep him in line before he gave any cause for it, and I just love how shifting a few scenes changes everything so dramatically.

Hamlet and the ghost: - horatio is so frantic for his friend's safety! but then Hamlet runs to find the ghost anyway. hamlet reaches out hesitantly to touch his father's face and they CLING to each other, then "pity me not." the ghost speaks of his death super fast, as if afraid to dwell on it, then slows as he charges hamlet "taint not thy mind, nor let thy soul proceed against thy mother." But then two minutes after being told not to blame his mother Hamlet goes "o pernicious woman" he's not very good at following directions. and then, poor baby, he picks up the gun and uses it to follow claudius as he walks down a hallway on the security footage.

a very well structured scene!

polonius gave laertes a watch as a parting gift, and then after hamlet makes horatio and marcellus swear, he gets engrossed by his own watch in a way that feels dangerous, and then goes "the time is out of joint" this is a GOOD parallel and i hope it comes up again because DAMN!

Up to Me, by Bob Dylan is just. the perfect song for the transition to act two, i can't handle how well it works with the action on stage - hamlet walking off sadly, then claudius and gertrude being flirty and cute, then hamlet kissing ophelia in the bath and perusing her face

Oh man, Polonius forgetting what he has to say when speaking to Reynaldo is a moment of such stillness and silence that it’s one of the most tense and compelling things I’ve every seen. I was half convinced he was going to have a stroke right there, or that his heart would be what actually killed him in the closet scene later.

When Ophelia tells him about Hamlet charging into her room, he’s super wrong, of course, but he cares for his dauther truly. She deflates when he says “the very ecstasy of love” though, because it’s clear she won’t get any real help there.

ooh, they put To Be or Not to Be before polonius talks to him, not before the nunnery scene. interesting! It’s a fairly common visual trope for Hamlet to be barefoot at around this point in the play, but it’s always fun to see.

Polonius has a mic on him so Claudius and Gertrude can hear their conversation, and all of his asides are whispered into it, a fact Hamlet clearly KNOWS, because “Except my life” is said while mockingly lifting the collar of his teeshirt and whispering into it.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are perfect here, omg!!! Guil is a black woman, and Ros a tallish man, and you can tell all three were good friends. when Guil finally has to say "my lord, we were sent for" you can see on both their faces that this play just became a TRAGEDY. "o what a piece of work is man" isn't a show this hamlet is putting on, he's baring his soul, and ros and guil are literally CRYING for and with him, because they can clearly see how he’s changed. but because they know they have split loyalties they can't come closer to him to comfort him. poor babies! rosencrantz is very proud that he was able to save them by bringing up the Players, and behind hamlet's back, guildenstern mouths "tragedians" and gives him an approving nod when he gets it right. i love them so much, and they're up there with gary oldman and tim roth!

The Player is the same actor as King Hamlet, I’ve never seen that specific double casting, but it’s so perfect! Poor Hamlet trying his best to remember his speech — he’s trying his best and the actual players are very patient with him.

the middle of "O what a rogue and peasant slave" is the first moment when you can visibly see Hamlet lose it, instead of sinking into depression or twisting his own and other's words like he had been up to now, but then he pulls back suddenly and goes "why what an ass am I"

"He asked no questions, and was of our demands most free in his reply." ROSENCRANTZ, you LIAR! 27-3 and you think he might have had the edge?? But as he says this he puts his hand on Guil's shoulder to make sure she'll also keep to that story.

hey ouch, this was one of the most painful nunnery scenes i've ever seen! she's all dressed up for him, but so scared, but she rolls her eyes at the book Polonius has her read. they get a few moments to be cute together before they break up for good and they're just crying, and they KNOW they're being watched. then he laughs at the favors and just drops them on the ground before he walks away, and after she gathers them up and starts to go, he comes in through a different door to kiss her violently and throw water on her face, and everything just HURTS. (the water has a daisy in it!)

Polonius briefly checks that she’s okay but then goes back to talking to Claudius about sending Hamlet to England. Meanwhile, in the background, she’s become fascinated by the daisy. She flinches away from everyone’s touch and stares at nothing, and I really like the clear progression in her, that her later breakdown isn’t just a reaction to one single shocking event, it’s all the slings and arrows that have been aimed at her throughout the play and her whole life.

ALERT, ALERT, HE'S PLAYING WITH HIS WATCH WHILE HE TELLS HORATIO HOW MUCH HE LOVES HIM!!!

(he also says Horatio is "not a pipe for fortune's finger to sound what stops you please," which is a line that's often left out, so i'd forgotten that metaphor was already on his mind)

the rest of the court enters through the auditorium, and sit in the front row to watch the show! and i only just now realized that when hamlet says "and my father died within these two hours" he's speaking ~madness~ but ALSO talking about the length of the play he's in.

The dumbshow is to the tune of One Too Many Mornings by Bob Dylan again, and shows papa hamlet's gonzago’s entire courtship with his wife, and them raising hamlet together and seeing him off to college, which then leads directly into the dialogue part of the play! it's SO GOOD.

The Lucianus monologue is very good, and then Claudius just walks out grimly, and it's presumably the intermission bc the screen goes staticky.

there's been a conceit of a camera following characters around and the image shows up on two sets of screens above the stage, so we get to see the play within the play AND hamlet et al's reaction to it at the same time.

Hamlet talks very fast and impatiently to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern as they try to tell him to visit his mother, and they’re trying SO HARD to connect with him. Interesting that the “My lord, you once did love me” line is given to Guildenstern, but it makes sense for how these characters have been played so far. I’m not at all worried that they did that to make the play straighter, because they do not shy away from the homoerotic subtext. And he pauses and really seems to think about his answer before saying “I do still, by these pickers and stealers.” And the recorder scene is just sad on both sides, everything is SAD

oh DAMN, claudius watches hamlet come into the room with a gun and then does his "O my offense is rank, it smells to heaven" speech, and seems to forget his audience as he tries to pray, and right after hamlet decides not to kill him yet, he stands and smirks and tells him "words without thoughts never to heaven go" and stands with his arms open, DARING hamlet to actually kill him. the last thing we see is his fingers trying to get a grip on the handle, and then a blackout.

if you don't know this play you might think he does it now.

when ros & guil find him he's wiping his bloody hands on polonius's shirt, and during the sponge bit he wrings it out so it drips on the floor. andrew scott is so gooood at this role but also legitimately scary.

and he's been playing with his watch more and more as everything gets more dire, i love this detail a whole bunch.

after hamlet calls claudius his mother, he hugs him and claudius reluctantly returns the embrace. for a brief moment hamlet seems to be seeking comfort here, and then he sniffles and breaks away. "To England" he says as he goes, mocking the accent.

so. ophelia. she's wheeled in strapped into a wheelchair, presumably at a psych facility. mostly she's turned inwards and singing softly, except when she hits her head and screams as if to say "you hurt me and ignored me, but you can't ignore the hurt you make me do to myself." and like. i get it, and i'm mostly glad that it's not the same version of mad ophelia you tend to see, where she's all over the stage and ripping her clothes, but still. it feels icky and ableist and like. fear tactics? shock factor? something like that.

laertes comes in looking truly unhinged -- actually gets gertrude kneeling on the ground with a gun at her temple, before claudius calms him down, and he's jumpy in a way that mirrors hamlet right after killing polonius. poor horatio is the first to come in and gets a gun pointed at him for his it. no one deserves any of what’s happening to them!

but laertes stills entirely when he sees ophelia. ouch.

flowers!

rosemary - the nurse who wheeled her chair

pansies - claudius

fennel and columbine - claudius's security guard

rue - gertrude

she drops the daisy on the ground and turns to laertes to apologize about the violets.

when claudius goes "where the offense is, let the great axe fall" gertrude looks at him sharply because THAT wasn't part of the plan, and he brushes her off with "I pray you"

the Bad Quarto scene with her and horatio is in here, and makes a LOT of sense given that interaction.

gertrude is in the doorway, unseen, as claudius tells laertes the only reason hamlet's not dead is because gertrude loves him so much. and then she's CLEARLY watching for his response when the messenger tells him about the letters from hamlet. i like this gertrude a lot.

(and I’m pretty sure I saw Hamlet being a sneaky boy and passing behind the window right by Claudius, as Claudius is handed his letters)

ooh, hamlet's wearing white and khaki when he comes back from the pirates, and he seems much calmer than he did the last time we saw him.

and laertes is so lost and sad when he says "what ceremony else?"

they're such good foils for each other, i can't stand it!

hamlet seems amazed as he asks "what is he, whose grief bears such an emphasis" and he's not angry when he climbs into the grave, more like he's expecting to be welcomed with open arms, and then he's just surprised when laertes tries to strangle him. when he says “yet have I in me something dangerous” he’s trying so hard to convince himself of this, oh kiddo.

welp, hamlet is no longer calm, as he screams about how much he loved ophelia, and writhes around on the ground. then he stands up like nothing happened and says "what is the reason you use me such?" and sounds so hurt.

some hamlets did not date laertes, but this one SUPER did

Hamlet feels bad about Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, but moves on quickly because he feels worse about Laertes, and it’s so painfully clear that he knows what genre he’s in. Osric is just a security guard (and later the judge for the fencing match) with no noticeable character but that works really well for this production, and Laertes has enough going on without having a boyfriend.

“Hamlet does it not… his madness” isn’t him giving up empty excuses, but real sorrow and despair, and maybe he really does believe he briefly became another person. I’m ! So ! Sad ! and oh SHIT, when laertes says "this one's too heavy" here, it's NOT to make sure he gets the poisoned blade but because he was moved by hamlet's apology and is BEGGING claudius to let him off the hook of needing to kill his friend, but claudius shakes his head and so they play.

HEY WOW RUDE!!! the music during the fencing match is Not Dark Yet (also by Bob Dylan) and everything HURTS

laertes FLINCHES and runs forward too late to stop claudius from putting in the poisoned pearl, and then he does his best to fight badly, and i'm going to CRY. hamlet's about to drink when gertrude runs forward with her napkin, then claudius grabs the cup from her and she maintains eye contact and they clasp hands as she drinks. she turns her choke into a laugh, while in the background laertes offers claudius preemptive sympathy. but everything is drawing to a close so he has to commit to hitting Hamlet, no matter his reservations.

the music stops as soon as hamlet is struck, and the brightness of the fencing match returns to the darkness of Act Two, but one by one they rise as ghosts, hand their watches over to King Hamlet, and go into the party upstage. And Laertes and Hamlet exchange forgiveness! it's a soft hopeful darkness though, something horatio wishes to be welcomed into, but hamlet tells him to "absent thee from felicity awhile" and he agrees.

hamlet gets scared for "the rest is silence" then it all snaps back to real time while he convulses in horatio's arms.

The play closes as it opens: with a bunch of news stories about the death of danish royalty.

And the closing credits are One More Cup of Coffee by Bob Dylan, it's so good!

#hamlet #recap #horatio #ophelia #laertes #polonius #claudius #gertrude #death mention #guns cw #this was a really good play!

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pistolkilled · 7 years ago

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[ Maybe I’ll. try to write down a list of things that happened in chronological order. It probably won’t have any set dates, or if it does it won’t be for every event, but maybe I can get some things down. ]

(I’m gonna start with what happened in w/k/m)

So that shit happens, the Colonel has his breakdown, and Wilford - enraged with the entire premise that the party was built on and near-delirious from losing half his damn family in one night - probably blows up on Will. Yes, Mark had his huge hand in it, but this wouldn’t have happened if Will didn’t have his hand in it with Celine, and the fact that Will’s son came of that whole tryst, and this, and that, it’s easily a berating that lasts for over an hour.

Obviously they can’t stay at the manor anymore. Wilford collects his very young nephew and Will and packs them both off to a hotel for them to stay at and try to regroup. There’s probably some more unbridled rage on Wilford’s part, and he ends up leaving for the night - leaves Will alone with his son and his thoughts.

Will’s not certain where Wilford goes off to, but he comes back late into the night, disheveled and splattered with blood and dirt, and it’s unclear as to just who the blood belongs to. He looks tired; broken. (What happens is that he gets into a fight and, in his already poor state, things get out of hand. More than likely, he ends up with a genuine, accidental murder on his hands - the first he’s ever committed.)

They spend the rest of the night in silence. Wilford cleans himself up, they tend to a small Red who’s fussy and unable to settle down for sleep.

From then on, they start city-hopping.

While Wilford takes care of his broken brother and nephew, they tend to move from place to place quite a bit. Both to avoid any possible trouble that might come from the events that happened at the manor and the accidental murder that Wilford committed on his own. They’re effectively on the run for at least 5 years with a slew of fake identification papers and aliases and this and that.

Effectively cut off from the rest of their family. Mark is MIA, presumed dead, Doc has dropped off the face of the planet himself, and it’s too risky for them to be with their parents, both law-wise and for the fact that they’re clearly not aging anymore, at some point.

Will is... a lot of work. While Wilford tries to maintain the various odd jobs he takes up for them, he’s also trying to keep his brother together and safe. Will talks a lot about Celine and Damien like nothing happened - like they’re still presently in their lives. He sits around for hours talking to Red about his mother and his uncle, and how they’re going to have to visit them sometime, things of that nature. On top of that, Will tends to wander. Sometimes on his own, sometimes with Red. Never anywhere dangerous, but if he does, he almost never tells Wilford where he’s going or when he’s coming back. It stresses him out endlessly.

There’s at least one time, despite how far away they may be, that Will scoops Red up and they just leave, eventually ending up back at the manor.

It’s probably another 10 years still, around the time of WW2, before Will finally starts to stabilize and fall back into something like himself again. They settle down in some city and try to start a more steady life for their now three-year-old kiddo.

Wilford’s skeptical of his brother voluntarily joining the war effort (even amidst the draft), especially given what WW1 had done to him when he’d been of sound mind, but ultimately he doesn’t/can’t stop him.

It’s around this time that Wilford juggles college (for a business degree) and his various odd jobs, as well as trying to care for Red. Red gets stuck with babysitters or in a daycare frequently, but Wilford tries to be there for the toddler as much as he can. He feels bad enough as it is dumping him off on a stranger, and it’s important for him to know that his entire family hasn’t abandoned him.

To add to the stress, this is about when Red starts having his nightmares about the manor and all that funky stuff that Wilford has 0 idea how to deal with.

Will makes it back from the war in one piece, and they settle down again to try and find some semblance of normalcy in their lives. It’s probably around now that they resume their identities.

(I’m thinking that they might’ve had some strings to pull with having a friend in government, so maybe at some point they had themselves declared legally dead, and at some point again they can have birth certificates, etc., forged again that allow them to use their normal names. I’m not 100% on how that shit works, but I do know that the court is fully capable of erasing people from records entirely if you know the right people. My mom exists nowhere bc of something like this.)

By now, Wilford’s done with school and in the process of opening up a candy shop that he owns for a very long time. It’s only when they decide it’s time to pick up and move again that he decides to sell it.

Will takes up odd-jobs here and there to keep up support while Wilford tries to get his thing going. He’s dabbled in a little bit of everything.

It’s after Wilford sells his shop for a small mint that they start to travel more here and there, both to satiate Will’s wanderlust and just to get out there and see the world while they can.

Will does go on solo excavation trips every now and again. He’s something more akin to an archaeologist for years and years.

Wilf probably decides to open a bakery at some point, still feeling like candy and treats are his true calling.

Wilford’s mental health is probably starting to decline. Every time Will comes back from one of his trips, Wilf’s... different. He’s a lot more forgetful, he starts to talk about things that happened years ago as if they only just happened yesterday, or haven’t happened yet. They get a letter from Doc at some point, and it’s a good few minutes before Wilford even remembers who exactly Doc is. He’s forgotten who Red himself was at least once.

Despite it not having been so pertinent in the beginning, Wilford was just as traumatized by the events of w/k/m as Will was, if not more so. His main problem is that his trauma was just left to fester as he took care of everybody else, and he’s got nothing but years and years of pent up rage and unresolved grief, and not just from the Event.

Eventually, it gets bad enough that Wilford lets one of his more trusted employees take over his bakery and checks himself into a mental hospital in hopes of trying to get better for his family, despite Will’s insistence that he doesn’t. He’s not so far gone just yet, but it’s bad enough that he knows he’s a burden, and he doesn’t want that for them.

It’s been a couple years since Will stopped his archaeology, uncomfortable with the idea of leaving his vulnerable brother and son alone for such long periods of time. It’s probably around now that he finds himself working in a zoo, eventually working his way up from a position low on the ladder to an actual zookeeper.

Despite Wilford’s absence from their lives, things seem to be moving along... normally. (Ignoring the fact that he and Will don’t age, and that Red ages very slowly. Ignoring the apparent supernatural elements of their existence.) For the first time in a very, very long time.

I think it’s around the 1970s that the exposes on how poorly patients in mental hospitals were treated. Wilford had probably been in the care of one for closer to a year by the time these stories air.

Will, sick to his stomach, manages to break his brother out of the hospital he’d checked into. (I don’t have an exact story on how that happened, but it did.) It’s clear that Wilford hadn’t had a very nice time of things in there, and try as he might, Will can’t seem to get a story out of his brother.

It’s likely that Will uses all of his accrued vacation time at once to stay home with Wilford for as long as it’ll allow him. Rather than opting to have someone take care of his brother - still skeptical after the asylum issue - he tries to take this on himself.

Wilford’s functional, but Will’s still worried about him. He tries to look after his brother without making it seem like he’s taking on the patronizing role of a parent.

Because Wilford still technically owns the store, part of their income does come in from his bakery.

Wilford finds more and more as time goes on that, even though these memories are more than likely repressed by now, he finds himself increasingly passionate about the state of mental hospitals as they are then.

It’s this passion that ultimately gets Wilford into the field of journalism, mostly in hopes of truly bringing these depraved institutions into light and getting these poor people the help they actually need - and possibly bringing these employees that had been treating them so poorly to justice. He wants to do good with his journalism.

This is the career he sticks with until present day, although his fields within the field of journalism do tend to change.

Despite this, his mental state is still on the decline. Instead of talking happily about things that happened in the past as if they were present, there are lots and lots of things he genuinely doesn’t remember, and it’s apparent that the things he does remember are fading as time goes on. Will does his best to make sure that he remembers the people who matter, him and Red and Doc, though it’s a lot harder for Wilford to hold onto people he doesn’t see regularly. Will and Red are faces he’ll never forget because they’re around him so constantly. A fair chunk of their childhood is gone, their teen years, their parents and Mark. The events of w/k/m have all but been stricken from his mind, along with the memories of Celine and Damien. His personality is a little more loose and eccentric, even for someone like him who’d always been a little on the strange side, his morals seem to be a little less strict, but on the whole he’s still a functional person and a capable, reputable journalist.

They start to pick back up on their travelling again, working around Red’s school schedule and making good use of Will’s flexible work schedule. (Having been there for so long, he has a little more leeway.)

Will starts to take lots and lots of pictures, mostly for the benefit of Wilford’s poor memory. Eventually Wilford finds interest in this subject and takes up the picture-taking himself, both for what Will says is for the sake of his memory and for work. More than a couple of their abroad trips have been for various stories/interviews Wilford wants to run for his career.

It’s during this time that they probably move one final time, into the house that they live in currently with the rest of the family.

Will says goodbye to his job as a zookeeper and, in the pursuit of finding something else to satiate his wanderlust and satisfying an old interest of his, starts bottom rung in the train conductor field.

Wilford takes up his job as an investigative journalist, though short-lived due to his... unique way of conducting these interviews (see his reports/videos on Slenderman - his first and last endeavors in this field). His mental state is more akin to what you see in canon and on this blog. A general state of manic at all times.

It’s around now that they start falling into the routine that you generally see played out on this blog. Will eventually falls into becoming a stay at home parent, and Wilford runs his own talkshow with an online business or two on the side, rather than investigative reports.

While not mentioned above, it can be assumed that Wilford’s initial accidental murder was his first, but not his last. While not a frequent thing, it did still happen.

Will plays an integral part in not only hiding bodies, but covering up his brother’s involvement entirely in these murders.

This generally coincides with how much they move around before they get to their current house.

Will doesn’t remember a thing for the next 15 years after w/k/m. He has little to no knowledge of the specifics of his breakdown and things that coincided with those years, and since Wilford’s memory is shot and Red was so young, it’s a time period that’s all but lost to history, save for a few shoddy memories on Red’s part.

There are seemingly random events in time that Wilford does remember. There’s no rhyme or reason as to why these stuck with him, but they did, and he still remembers.

At some point, Wilford probably tried to start up his own circus with Will’s begrudging help. But it was around the time that circuses were falling out of popular entertainment, and it didn’t last for very long.

The mental hospital definitely had lasting effects on Wilford as a whole, those it’s unclear as to what specifically came from the hospital and what showed up as a result of his already deteriorating mind.

At some point in time, probably some short time after WW2, they did go and visit their parents again, if only to let them meet their slightly older grandson and find out how they were doing.

After this, they do keep up writing letters with their parents for a while, but eventually - with all the moving around on both parts - things get lost in the mail and correspondence stops. The three of them don’t get a chance to say goodbye to their parents/grandparents.

Eventually, since they’re out of contact for so long even before Wilford starts to lose himself, Wilford does genuinely forget that both Doc and Mark exist. It doesn’t take long for him to rebuild a relationship with Doc once he enters the picture again (he remembers most of who he is), but it’s not an instant process.

I’m not sure when they find out that Mark’s still alive and kicking, but Will finds out first, and he definitely keeps that knowledge from Wilford for as long as he can, given that he was one of the direct catalysts for all the shit that’s happened. He doesn’t want to risk Wilford remembering the past and really losing his shit, and part of him feels (felt) like Mark doesn’t deserve the chance to reintegrate himself into the family.

While it wasn’t all readily apparent at first, Wilford’s mind didn’t deteriorate all at once. It started with little things that wouldn’t be missed because they didn’t talk about it anyway. Such as Doc and his disappearance, their childhood, their parents. That stuff slowly started to fade away first, but if Wilford doesn’t notice it himself and he doesn’t make it obvious, then no one knows it’s happening.

The Big traumatic events in Wilford’s life are not of the few things he remembers. They’re the reason he is the way he is.

Will worked as an assistant teacher/teacher’s aid in Red’s school for a very, very short amount of time at some point. He had a particularly fond bond with that teacher who’d been happy to let him come in and help out. It was a way to occupy his time and spend a little more time with his kid.

Somewhere more recently, though not too recent, Will had also taken up the hobby of beekeeping (he’s got a real, real fondness of bees). It didn’t last long, much to his dismay.

Wilford has journals upon journals chronicling important events in his life that he’s determined not to forget. They’re in trunks in the attic, although under a specific lock and key that Wilford only has access to.

While Wilford has had numerous trysts and flings throughout the years, Will may have only had one or two other vague interests before Tori and after Celine. He was in no state of mind to deal with a relationship, and he couldn’t bring himself to put Red into any awkward situation that that might bring along.

Will’s artifact collection is so vast because 90% of them were taken illegally from the dig sites. Go figure.

While not mentioned, Dark has always been a constant in Wilford’s life somehow or another. He’s always been as familiar to him as Red and Will have, even if they haven’t been dating the entire time.

Another short-lived endeavor of both Will and Wilford’s was owning/running a drive-in theater together. Will generally manned projection and the technical aspects and Wilford dealt with the public aspect.

Mechanic may have also been among Will’s odd jobs at some point.

#this isn't.... a step by step comprehensive timeline #with every single event detailed #just the important things *and* the things I know/imagine off the top of my head #but it's Long #long post //#PLEASE STAND BY || ooc #INSIDE SCOOP || hcs #;;TIMELINE

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yakumtsaki · 7 years ago

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CHILLIN LIKE A VILLAIN. Pleased with yourself, are you, Becky with the good hair?

-Oh quite, though I’d be more pleased if my damn arm would unglitch.

HA looks like it got stuck while you were putting your filthy hands on Wyatt. God’s punishment is swift. Know what else is gonna be swift? YOUR DEATH. Get him, Waylon Fairchild Dementia Raven Way!

-Ugh, no way, I’m exhausted, everyone is in love with me and I just want to be with Draco, ok? Why couldn’t Satan make me less beautiful? IT’S A CURSE

Waylon sis truly don’t even talk to me about curses and Satan right now, this entire lot is cursed and crawling with evil spirits and beelzebubian energies. Ever since we moved here my life has never known peace. Next thing you know snakes are gonna start manifesting in this house physically.

Well looks like the snakes are already here. FRANCES WILL YOU FUCKING STOP ALREADY YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED JOYATT IS DEAD NOW CEASE AND DESIST

-No way bitch, time to suffer. Look at it and weep, look at it with your own two eyes!

First of all I’ve been weeping since yesterday so joke’s on you. Secondly I still can’t believe you did this to me after I generously gave you this whole debonair look YOU’RE THE WORST

-La la la can’t hear you over the sound of your plans crumbling all around me!!

I’m seriously gonna murder you a thousand times. Wyatt what about you, you dumbass bimbo? What do you have to say for yourself?

-Not beaucoup, I honestly don’t know why I’m doing this, it makes absolument no sense! Huhu!

I hate you both so fucking much I might actually vomit.

Ugh my poor Jojo </3 I’m so sorry that your love life has turned into a giant pile of crap.

-Please, who cares.. Definitely not me!

Yeah well that much is obvious! Are you sure you’re alright tho? Because you look, you know. worryingly expressionless and in denial.

-Oh no, I’m just focusing on my new proposal,“Project MKUltra: The Comeback”. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I have to deal with adulterous whores again!

Good, good, pour yourself into your art. Speaking of, maybe it’s also time to pour yourself a refreshing drink?

Attaboy, milk that cowplant, Jojo!

-Hmm this process feels oddly sexual..

Yea, I can tell by your massive erection, jesus, I mean even for you-

-Ew no what the hell? That’s just because Ti-Ning is dead!

Oh ok, that’s fine then!

-YES YEEEEES I FEEL THE POWER COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS

Hard to believe anything can course through your veins with all that ice in there but alright. Now we just have to wait..

..for the cowplant to get hungry again. I literally can’t with Daniel and Gunther constantly picking fights with Jojo’s former suitors, especially since Jojo doesn’t seem to give enough of a fuck to fight them himself. We are family, I got all my sisters with me!

Ugh I keep forgetting Daniel has 9 nice points, what a crybaby. How you gonna fight capitalism when you can’t even fight Wyatt?? MAN UP DAN

Nice, there we go! I’m truly living for Brit’s utter lack of interest in fights happening next to her. Her aspiration bar is about to hit the crapper bc I’m even worse at playing popularity sims than I am at getting couples not to whore around, so the time has come..

TO PARTY HARD, TOGA STYLE. I really threw this party thinking it would be a success and save Brit from aspiration failure, so obviously the time has come to acknowledge that I’m even stupider than Wyatt. Things get off to a good enough start with the profs tickling each other, which everyone knows is the mark of a wild college party!

Ti-Ning, gone but never forgotten.

-Hey Brit, want some Ti-Ning to wash down that pizza?

-Please stop addressing me.

-That’s right, address moi instead!

NO YOU DON’T WYATT. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE

..........................................................................all I can say is LMAO

Wyatt, sweetie, full offense, exactly how dumb are you?

-What? I wanna marry Jojό! <3

Ok. Do you have any recollection of breaking his “heart” 2 hours ago, setting him on the path of a complete nervous breakdown?

-Oh, that was just a bump on la route, don’t be so dramatique!

-Does it count as a win if the only thing you put in the hole.. are your tears?

.....god.

Meanwhile and to the surprise of no one, Gunther is being sexually harassed by a professor, namely Down-With-The-Kids-Pink-Beanie.

-Sooo Gunther, half-alien professor told me all about you, you little ginger minx.. What do you say you and I adjourn somewhere private and I see if the carpet matches the drapes..

-EW forget it, lady, you’re not even in the art department and I only have one rule: no whoring without extra scoring.

Um what about the rule of monogamous dating which you are currently doing with Mel?

-RIGHT that too!

Once again...god.

The one person having a great time at this party is Kevin Beare, who eats half a pizza by himself..

..and then moves on to chips. He legit came here for the free food and didn’t talk to anyone the entire time, which is what I do at every party except with drinks. Live your truth, Kev!

Look who’s back from class and still glitched lolol

-Can you please reset me already, I had to take an exam like this!!!

Pfff grades??? There are so many more important things in life, Fran. Live a little, join the celebration.. party like there’s no tomorrow. CAUSE THERE ISN’T

I’ve no idea what happened here but Tiffany is non-stop bullying this 2006-Oliver-Sykes haired professor. Judging from Pink Beanie and sims professors in general it’s safe to say he deserves it. GET HIM TIFF

-Why doesn’t anyone want to fuck me, Frank? What am I doing wrong? Has Woody Allen been lying to us about hot young women being uncontrollably attracted to neurotic, misogynist, mediocre intellectuals over 60?

Oh great, I thought this party was gonna end as a dud but I see we’re going for full-on disaster.

-I’ve just about had enough of you and your passé casquette, communiste!

-My casquette is not passé, it’s classic!

-LADY STOP TRYING TO GET UNDER MY TOGA

-Aw come on, please? For mommy?

-You should use that line on Jojo where it might actually work!

Enemies, these bitches my enemies, not on my level so they just pretend to be, yes, why do you envy me? Cause I am the MVP, these bitches my enemies ♪

-FOR THE GLORY OF THE USSR

Yea, seems about right. Whatever though, cause after the party..

COMES THE CAKE.

Goodbye Francis, it’s been nice, hope you find your paradise!

-Oh please, SEE YOU IN HELL BITCH. WAIT FOR ME CAUSE I’M GONNA FIGHT YOU THERE TOO

It’s a beautiful morning and our llama friend is back to spread some school pride and presumably some bodily fluids. We almost went an entire day without seeing him but here he is again! GET OUT OF MELODY’S SHOWER YOU FUCKING CREEP

-FINE. YOU’RE GONNA APPRECIATE ME WHEN I’M GONE

Yea don’t worry that day is permanently coming as soon as we milk Frances out of the cowplant. Honestly this fucking llama is the last straw, the time has come for me to take back control of this house..

..starting with getting sweet, dumb Wyatt back with Jojo! I really think the Frances thing was a fluke, I mean W wasn’t in a committed relationship with Jo, he didn’t initiate it and he rolled the want to get engaged to him for the second time after it. So the whole thing = Fran’s + ACR’s fault!!!1 Also and more importantly we have literally 0 other viable options and college is almost done so it’s time for Jojo to put Lemonade on repeat and get over it.

Let’s bring out the big guns!

-Mom! it’s so good to hear your insufferably domineering voice. Did you get my latest murder pics?

-Ha! Yes they are great, thank you mom. Soon I’ll add the french courtesan to my album. Now tell me, in as much detail as possible, how proud of me you are!

-I don’t know how Wyatt is doing, he’s the french courtesan, I’m going to kill him! Are you even listening to me?

-What do you mean it’s probably my fault? Can you divorce dad already, his influence on your brain has been catastrophic.

-Love is a battlefield? Mom seriously. Divorce. Now.

-Ugh yes, I could imprison him in a gigantic safe for a few days instead of killing him, but what on earth would that achieve?

-Well I don’t care about having a husband! Worst case scenario, I’ll just marry Max!

-Yes, Max does look like dad. Yes, he is as dumb as him. YES, MOM, I KNOW. HONESTLY YOU’RE ONE TO TALK

-Well, I have to go now, but you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. And by that I mean which care home to put you in cause you’ve obviously lost it. Goodbye, mother.

As soon as Jojo hangs up the phone Melody runs over to autonomously lecture him. Nice move, Mel, let’s peer pressure him till he caves!

-Jojo this is an intervention but please don’t mistake it as me actually caring about you. Your bullshit harem drama has taken over the entire greek house storyline and enough is enough, we demand equal airtime. Just forgive Wyatt already, he’s too hot for you and you were literally dating 2 other dudes at the same time and you also treated him like shit and you are the worst and Gunther is the best and he’s gonna beat you for heir. Melody out.

Yes, powerful stuff, thank you, Mel. Now Wyatt, let’s apologize!

-I’m so sorry I kissed Frances, Jojό, I don’t know what I was thinking </3

That’s a great start Wyatt, now let’s try it facing the right way!

-I’m so sorry I kissed Frances, Jojό, I don’t know what I was thinking </3 Also I’m totally planning our wedding in my head you right now.

Ok, smaller steps, let’s get him to not hate you first!

If there’s one thing I hate about ts2 it’s how ridiculously hard it is to be forgiven for cheating, shit is unreal. Wyatt has been apologizing for about 3 years now and Jojo is still furious jfc, it’s legit easier to get forgiven for cheating irl than it is in this game.

-For the thousandth time, I’m so so sorry Jojό, honestly in the dark of the nuit at first I thought Frances was you and then it was too late!

-Yes, it was also broad daylight.

-Well you know I have bad eyesight, mon cheri :(

Wyatt seriously, we’ve reached the point where you’re throwing junk out there, so let’s take a break..

..from this fucking house! It’s date time! Time for dinner and public woohoo in that vegan restaurant downtown, cause I’ve ignored Gunther so hard his aspiration is currently scarlet red. Mel is doing great though, like all knowledge sims in uni, she’s legit never not-platinum. The adorable couple make themselves right at home, by doing literally what they do at home 20h a day. NOT WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR GET UP

-Maybe if we act like children they’ll think we’re under 12 and we’ll get a discount!

-We’re so in sync, babe, I brought my monster trucks with me for this very eventuality!

-Here, let me blow you a kiss, babe. A prelude of tonight’s blowing.

-Honestly, every time you talk, I just see the eggplant emoji <3

I didn’t vomit from Wyatt/Frances but this date might actually do the trick!

-Do you think the waiter is mad that we insisted on lobster in a vegan restaurant and he had to go fishing for it?

-Whatever, babe, we deserve it.

-We really do. I ship us.

-I ship us too <3

Good because I don’t anymore.

Yaas, aspiration problems taken care of! Mel’s shy ass hilariously had a fear of having her photo taken, but public fornication she has no issue with.

-Having your photo taken is unnatural! I’m just using the photo booth as god intended.

Ofc, on the 6th day, god created the photobooth for people to publicly fuck in.

-Wow Mel, my reflection in your sunglasses is so beautiful.

-So is mine in yours, babe.

-I almost wish we could look into each other’s eyes but then it’d ruin our whole look. You know what, screw it..

-..I was gonna wait till we graduated it and were more mature and crap like that, but whatever, babe, when it’s right, you know. Will you marry me, Melody Tinker, despite the certainty that one or more of our kids will get the Komei nose?

-Oh my god, Gunther! I literally thought you’d never ask, because, let’s be real, you’re a gigantic slut.

-These days are gone, babe, I’m a changed man!

-This ring has been in my family for half a generation, ever since my mom stole it from Florence Delarosa who was obviously never gonna need it.

-Oh it’s beautiful and the fact it’s stolen makes it even more precious!

It’s morphin time! Let’s pretend the red around Gunther’s memory signifies passion and not a crippling fear of commitment. Congrats you gross, crazy kids!

It’s also morphine time, cause damn are we broke as shit. In hindsight perhaps we shouldn’t have gotten the lobster.

We return home, where I’m trying to fulfill Jojo’s longstanding wish to see Ti-Ning’s ghost but apparently Ti-Ning is an even bigger asshole dead than he was alive. Bitch seems to be deliberately refusing to scare Jojo, I mean we’ve been standing around playing ghostbusters for like 4 hours now and it’s just not happening-

-but some scary shit IS happening inside. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS.

-What!? We’re just talking about our mutual interest in entertainment.

Brit seriously, don’t make me kill you cause I’ll do it, I’m kinda on a roll here and completely exhausted from this fuckery.

-Gawd, fine, I’m gonna go to sleep.

GO TO A DIFFERENT BED. I’ve noticed a sudden and disturbing reappearance of slutty wants in Gunther’s panel immediately after the engagement, which I’m guessing is some kind of regression back to his usual pattern, like he’s rolling wants to woohoo 10 sims and makeout with another 20 and idek. It’s extremely pissing me off and it’s also extremely not happening.

I JUST SAID IT’S NOT HAPPENING. FUCKING STOP IT.

-We’re just friends!!! Paranoid much?

CAN YOU BLAME ME

Look here, THIS is the distance I wanna see between you two. It’s also NOT the distance I wanna see between Wyatt and Jojo, man this apology shit is taking fucking forever UGGGH

-Jojό, are you still mad at me?

-What do you think?

-No?

-Guess again.

-No?

-Ugh.

-Oh Jojό, I know you hate me but I’m gonna keep apologizing for the rest of ma vie, cause I really have nothing better to do. And also because je t’aime, Jojό. Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold cœur?

YES. FUCKING FINALLY. I HEAR HEARTS I HEAR HEARTS!!!!!

THEY’RE JUST NOT COMING FROM THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!11

KILL ME. I WILL PAY SOMEONE TO KILL ME. DON’T TELL ME WHEN YOU’RE COMING JUST SHOW UP AND DO IT. TAKE MY CAT ON THE WAY OUT AND FIND HIM A GOOD HOME. I’M DONE.

#ts2 #union legacy

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