#pre-romantic prinxiety | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

im-an-anxious-wreck · 3 years ago

Text

Indigo Tulips And A Trip Down Memory Lane

AO3 link

Prompt/idea from @thesheriffssecretpolice: someone (logan?) finds a portal that lets them time travel. everytime they do, they lose a little more of their memories, but their drive to visit other times and learn other's stories is too tempting to just stop.

…

Summary: Patton knows he shouldn't step through the archway. He really shouldn't… his mother sent him on an important errand, and besides not walking through a possible portal in a forest that was known for people disappearing in, just seemed like common sense. So really, he shouldn't.

Not to mention— and he's already stepped through.

Well, what's done is done.

So the real question is, what great adventure awaits on the other side?

Warnings: referenced abuse, crying, cursing, referenced past starvation, Patton thinks that he might not be allowed to eat. He is wrong

Perspective/main character: Patton

Side/secondary characters: Logan, Virgil, Roman

Appear: The Dragon Witch, Remus, Janus

Romantic relationship(s): logicality, established prinxiety, dukeceit mentioned, (everything else is platonic)

Word Count: 14,150

Link to my collection of TSS fanworks

Patton had heard the folk tales about the nearby woods. He'd heard about people disappearing to never return, and the few that did return, just weren't the same, memory all but gone.

Which is why he really shouldn't be travelling through the forest, and at night no less! But when the sun was almost touching the west hills, Mother had said to go through the forest to the town a few miles away to get her alcohol, and to not come back until he did.

So, mostly just to avoid her ire, he'd set off.

He couldn't help but feel rather grateful for the heavy travelling cloak he'd made several years back and thought to bring, as he tugged it a little closer to protect himself against the chilly winds.

His legs were starting to ache when he spotted an eerie blue light off to the left… but the path bent to the right. He'd heard not to stray off the path, after all, wasn't that the lesson taught in Little Red Riding Hood?

But it didn't look like it was that far off the path, so surely Patton could easily find his way back.

Just a little peek, just to settle his curiosity.

…

He'd… he'd rather underestimated how close it actually was to the path. The dim blue light had looked close, but it didn't seem to be getting any closer.

Patton was just about to give up in weary frustration and turn back when he, quite out of nowhere, was in a small clearing.

In the middle, almost amongst the trees, stood a large archway formed of stone. It had writing etched deep into it, the words 'Trade A World For A Year, Ye Be Warned All Who Enter Here' were curved to fit around the top and glowing a deep blue.

He just hoped the rather nonsensical words weren't a warning for anything bad.

However, perhaps the strangest thing about the archway was the fact that it was filled with glowing blue, much like the clear afternoon sky, but if the sky swirled around in a spiral.

The slightest hum that emanated from it was all but beckoning Patton closer.

He wasn't going to touch it! He just wanted to be able to see it a bit better. Just... Just a little closer.

Just a little closer.

The warmth radiated from it like a hearth in the dead of winter, and when Patton touched the stone it was so like physical contact that it made him want to laugh and cry all at once.

Surely nothing bad could possibly ever come from something that could cause such a pleasant feeling in Patton.

Patton only hesitated for a moment longer before he stepped through the portal, warmth surrounding him, and twinkling blue light flittering about.

He didn't walk out the portal so much as stumble out, and was only able to just catch himself, glasses less fortunate as they fell off his face and into the dirt.

Patton picked his glasses up and put them on, marvelling at the rolling, green hills that were dotted with flowers of every colour of the rainbow. Foggy mountains surrounded the grassy field on all sides in the far beyond, and white puffy clouds lazily slid across the blue sky that stretched ever upwards.

But what caught Patton's eye the most, was a man that was sitting in the lush grass only a few feet away, staring at an indigo tulip. He had black glasses —practically identical to Patton's own, only in better condition as it didn't have tape holding it together—, khaki slacks, a black polo, and his tie was almost the colour of the flower he was looking at.

Patton stepped a few steps forward, glancing behind him and noticing that the portal was gone. He cleared his throat, hoping not to startle the man, but Patton needn't have worried as the man didn't even glance up.

"Um… hello?" Patton asked.

The man finally looked at Patton, but didn't seem very surprised at his sudden appearance. "Greetings."

"Oh, uh hi! I'm Patton! What's your name?"

"Hello, Patton. I am…" The man's brow creased. "I am…" He blinked in confusion. "Er… um, apologies, I don't seem to have that information at the moment."

"Oh, well… that's alright! Um, what are you doing?"

"I have been observing this flower. Would you like to observe it with me?"

"Sure!" Patton sat down next to the man and looked at the flower… And looked at the flower…… And looked at the flower.

Patton could already feel the impatience rising in him, and it hadn't even been a minute! But the man seemed perfectly content just looking at the flower. It wasn't even doing anything, only just barely swaying in the wind.

"Sooo," Patton finally said. "How long have you been here?"

The man frowned again. "It was about mid day? I believe. I took a few bathroom, or should I say tree breaks." He looked up at the sky, frown only deepening. "Wait, that cannot be correct, it's mid-afternoon. So for… an entire 24 hours? Give or take of course. I… I hadn't realised I'd been here so long. Ah, wait. I did take a nap when it was dark. That must've been the night."

"Oh, um, yeah, it can be really easy to lose track of time…" Patton decidedly wasn't going to mention that losing track of that much time, let alone forgetting one's name, was very concerning. "Did you come through the portal?"

"The… Oh! Yes, I did." The man looked back to where the portal had been. "Oh… well, that's concerning," The man said, his tone anything but.

"Yeah… oh no! How am I gonna get back home? I wasn't even thinking. My mother is gonna be so mad!"

"No offence intended, but… aren't you a bit old to be worried about your mother being annoyed at you for being late?"

"Hah… you'd think. But no, she— uh, she sent me on an errand that's really important to her so it makes sense for her to be upset and punish me for being lazy and taking so long."

"No? It really doesn't make sense?? Also punish you? For what!? Wouldn't she understand if you explained the situation?"

"But… I'll be late? It doesn't really matter why. I never try hard enough."

"Patton, that's not true. Sometimes there are things out of our control, and in that case, it's really not our fault. You can only do so much. I'm… I'm quite sorry that she's made you believe otherwise. That she thinks you're lazy even though you're already doing your best."

"I… I'm really not doing my best though. If I just tried harder…"

"Patton, your best, doesn't actually mean your very best."

"It doesn't?" Patton asked confusedly. The man seemed very smart, but that just didn't sound right.

"No. It doesn't mean that you should work yourself figuratively ragged. It means just do what you can, while keeping your physical and mental health in mind. And sometimes 'your best' fluctuates. You may not be able to do the same amount of things as the week, day, or even hour before, and that's okay.

"This isn't your fault. It's not your fault if you get home late. You're doing everything that you possibly can right now. And that's enough." The Man adjusted his glasses. "Apologies if this is too straightforward but, you are enough. You're very much enough, Patton."

"O— oh. Oh wow." A few tears dripped down Patton's cheeks.

"Ah, that was too much. Apologies, I didn't mean to make you cry!"

"No! It's alright. These are happy tears!" Patton wiped under his eyes the best he could. "I'm crying because you're so incredibly sweet, and I really needed to hear that. So thank you."

"Oh… well… I'm glad it's the happy kind of tears. I still don't think making you cry could be a good thing… but you don't seem to be upset by it."

Patton sniffed. "I'm not upset by it! If anything, I'm thanking you for it."

"Um, alright. I… okay."

Patton light-heartedly huffed. "Okay… I do have a question though."

"And I shall answer it to the best of my ability."

"How… how are we going to get back now?"

"Ah, excellent question. That is rather an issue right now. Considering the portal has disappeared, it's going to be difficult to get home… wherever that is. Ah, and that's another problem I currently have. I can't remember anything. Although, fortunately for us, this type of amnesia doesn't affect the part of the brain that processes language…" The man adjusted his glasses. "That is a strange sensation. Knowing something rather complex without being able to remember learning it… hmm."

"Well, fudge. What can we do then?"

"I suppose try to find a drinking source. Then make a shelter and try to wildcraft some food. Oh, interesting… I appear to know some things about wildcrafting."

Patton looked out across the hilly field. "Hey! Is that smoke? Maybe it's from someone's campfire or even a chimney!"

"Ah, excellent observation. We should head in that direction and see if they are willing to assist us. Even just providing shelter for the night would be helpful."

"Yeah! Good idea."

"Hmm, it appears to be mid to late afternoon, so we should reach there at about dusk? Perhaps a bit later."

"Okay! Well… I guess we should be off then."

"Of course…" The man looked back down at the indigo tulip sadly before rising to his feet and offering Patton a hand up.

After Patton had gotten his feet under himself again, he said, "You know, you can take the flower with us, if you want to."

"Take… the flower?"

"Yeah, like just break the stem and take the flower."

"Oh, yes. I'd forgotten that some people do that... But won't it not stay unwilted longer if we leave it intact?"

"...You mean it'll wilt faster if it's picked?"

"Yes, is that not what I said?"

"Eh… kinda. Um, but yeah, it'll most likely stay nice longer if you leave it, but who's gonna notice one flower way out here, and then you can enjoy it 'till it wilts tomorrow."

"Oh… well, that's alright then." The man bent down and gently plucked the tulip, cradling the flower between his hands.

"Lead the way!" Patton exclaimed.

…

Patton hated walking. Okay, he didn't actually. He'd always loved taking walks —especially if the alternative was being in the cramped house with his mother— but they'd been walking for hours, and he'd already walked aways before finding the portal. His knees hurt, his feet hurt, he was hungry and tired.

Plus, on top of all that, he was overstimulated.

Indigo, as Patton had taken to calling the other man in his head, had been cold, arms wrapped around himself and teeth chattering. So Patton had offered him Patton's travelling cloak and Indigo, being courteous gentleman that he was, had determined that the best way to keep them both warm was to share the cloak. Which meant that Patton's left side was drenched in warmth.

It wasn't so bad at first! It'd actually been very nice. Physical contact that wasn't painful was amazing. But after who knows how long, it'd gotten too intense, Patton's hands shaking, and his side and arm all but burning.

Honestly, at this point, he'd rather just face the cold, and was just about to slip out the cloak when a homely and invitingly looking cottage came into view.

"Ah!" Indigo exclaimed. "Good. A cottage is perfect. Perhaps it's an elderly couple who won't mind housing us for a night or two." Indigo stepped out of the cloak, Patton almost sighed in relief, and walked ahead, quickly running up the three steps to the cottage porch.

Patton had to practically drag himself up the steps, limbs soft like pudding.

Indigo knocked on the door, which swung open almost instantly to reveal a man about Patton's age. He was rather tall, and his eyes and hair were a deep purple, and he wore a black jacket hoodie with purple plaid patches.

"Greetings, I don't know my name, but this is Patton. We seek shelter for the night."

"Uhh… how did you get here? This place is pretty secluded."

"Um... someone stole our car," —Patton felt his stomach clinch at Indigo's lie, or maybe that was just the hunger— "And we've been walking for quite a while—"

"No, like, you can only access this place with magic, and even then, you'd have to know it existed. So I repeat myself, how did you get here? How did you find us?"

A voice came from farther in the cottage, "Love? Why are you at the door?" A man appeared over the purple man's shoulder. He had chestnut brown hair, the tips a bright red, brown eyes, and dark tan pants, with a white loose shirt and a red scarf around his waist. He looked rather like a pirate, if the pirate had lost most of his stuff.

"Just some people," Virgil said offhandedly, looking very much like he didn't want to be there.

"Oh! I didn't know we were having guests."

"We're not. They just showed up."

The knock off pirate frowned. "They just… showed up?"

Indigo huffed. "You know, if you don't want to take us in for the night, you can just say so."

"No!" The pirate exclaimed. "Nonsense! We have room, right, Virgil?"

The purple man, Virgil apparently, sighed. "Yeah… yeah yeah, we have room. Alright, but over supper you gotta tell us how you even got here."

"Ah," Indigo pushed his glasses farther up his nose. "We'd be glad to do so."

"Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Roman, and this is Virgil."

"Hi! I'm Patton!"

Virgil jumped. "Oh, right. I forgot you were there. Sorry."

"No, no! It's my fault. I've been told I kinda blend into the background when I'm quiet."

"Well, it is very nice to meet you, Patton!" Roman turned to Indigo. "And who might you be?"

"Oh, um, I don't remember my name."

"Yeah, he kinda forgot everything… but I've just been calling him Indigo in my head."

He titled his head to the side, much like a confused puppy. "Indigo?"

"Oh, do you not… you just really seemed to like that Indigo flower so I just…"

"No, it's alright, I was just curious where you got it." Indigo cradled his flower a bit closer to himself.

"Not that this isn't touching…"

"Virgil!" Roman scolded.

"But it's cold as all shit out here, and like, y'all can freeze out here if ya want, but I'm going back to the fire."

Roman sighed. "What he meant to say was, it's really cold out here, so everyone come in where it's warm!"

"Eh… kinda."

Roman and Virgil moved out of the open doorway to let Patton and Indigo in, shutting the door behind them.

"Here," Roman said. "Come sit by the fire and warm up!"

"I'll hang your cloak up," Virgil muttered to Patton.

"Oh, thanks, kiddo!"

After Virgil hung the cloak up on a hook behind the door, he turned back to Patton. "Kiddo?"

"Yeah? If you don't want to be called that then I won't! It's just habit."

"Nah, you're good. Just never heard someone call an adult that."

"So you really don't have any memories?" Roman asked Indigo from farther into the room.

"No. There might be a few like wisps? If that makes sense. But nothing tangible. Just a few vague shapes or feelings."

Roman hummed non-commentally as Patton took in his surroundings.

There were two loveseats facing each other, with a coffee table between them and a large brick fireplace beyond that. The floor was made from wooden planks, and there was a large thick rug under the seating area.

To the left was the kitchen with a bar that had a window into the kitchen. A hallway, most likely leading to any bedrooms and the bathroom, was in the far left corner just beyond the bar.

Indigo was sitting on the right loveseat and Roman on the left, both on the side closest to the fire.

Virgil curled up next to Roman, setting his head on Roman's shoulder, and Patton sat next to Indigo, leaving a bit of space between them.

"Hey, can I see your flower?" Virgil asked, jerking his head to where Indigo was still cradling his flower.

"...Why?"

"Because he has magic!"

"Roman!"

"Magic?"

"Way to ruin the surprise. But yeah, I was just gonna preserve it with magic."

Indigo leaned forward, eyes sparkling. "Really? You can do that?"

"Yeah, you want me to?"

"If it's no trouble, yes please."

Virgil sat up and Roman gently laid his arm across the back of the loveseat from where it'd been wrapped around Virgil.

"Alright." Virgil took a deep breath. "Hold it out."

Indigo did and Virgil gestured, twisting his fingers toward himself, making purple sparks lift the flower to float over the coffee table. Virgil's eyes glowed brightly, the deep purple of his iris now a vibrant, almost electric, purple. The tulip's slightly droopy petals lifted as it reverted back to how fresh it'd been when Indigo first picked it.

"Amazing," Indigo murmured, eyes wide with wonder.

Virgil smiled lopsidedly, eyes fading back to his natural, yet unnatural, eye colour as he leaned back against Roman's side. "Thanks. Magic can be pretty cool, huh?" He gestured once more and the flower was gently laid back into Indigo's awaiting hand, sparks dissipating upon contact.

Indigo nodded. "That was truly extraordinary!"

"I know right!" Roman exclaimed. "He's so talented at magic. I only know a bit of basic fighting magic, but Virgil knows so much!"

"Well, I have been doing it for my entire life, whereas you've only been doing it for a few years. Besides, there's plenty I don't know."

"Is it innate? I mean obviously not completely because as you said you had to learn it. But…"

"Can anyone do magic if they worked at it?"

"Yes."

"I mean… kinda, yeah. It comes a lot easier for some people but technically yeah, anyone could learn at least some basic magic if they were like, really determined."

"Fascinating."

"And there's like different types so some people are better at sometimes than others. Like Roman's fighting magic… which was kind of stolen but that's not the point."

"No! Nuh-huh! I didn't steal it, it was gifted to me. There's a difference."

"You're just lucky Remus was willing to share."

Roman pouted.

"Who's Remus?" Patton asked.

"Oh, that's his brother. He was just like, super naturally good at fighting with magic and gifted Roman with a bit of it. So Roman's been like, building it up ever since. You know like… like with a fire. Like you have a little spark of fire, a little flame, and you kinda have to like, take care of it, and give it more fuel and stuff until it becomes its own fire. It's kind of like that."

"That is very intriguing," Indigo said. "Magic is quite unique and seems to have its own system."

"Yeah, exactly. And there's so much I haven't even covered! But like, we could easily be here all night just with me talkin' about magic."

"It is quite fascinating! Perhaps we could converse about it more tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sounds good!"

"Oh, the soup!" Roman jumped up. "I almost forgot about the soup."

"And you say I'm the bad cook," Virgil teased.

"Well, that's because you are, dear," Roman called from the kitchen. From across the open bar Patton could see Roman stirring a large pot as the smell began wafting into the living room, making Patton's stomach clinch, and this time there was no doubt that it was from hunger.

Virgil sneezed, purple sparks shooting out of his nose as he shook his head like a dog.

"Bless you," Indigo said.

"Thanks. That usually happens, by the way."

"Usually happens?"

"Oh, like after I do magic."

"You're… allergic to magic?"

Virgil snorted. "I can see how you could come to that conclusion, but no, not exactly. It's just a bit of build up. Like some magic will build up in my nose if I do a lot of it, and then I just like, sneeze it out."

"That is weird, but no less fascinating."

"So basically he's allergic to magic," Roman called from the kitchen.

"Hey! No, I'm not."

"Sure, you're not… anyway, everyone come and get it!"

Virgil and Indigo instantly stood up and made their way to where Roman was dishing it up at the bar.

"Sorry, just um… everyone?" Patton curled in self-consciously when all eyes turned to him.

"Uh… yeah everyone." Virgil frowned. "What, you think we'd just leave y'all there to starve while we ate copious amounts of soup?"

"Well, no! I just… if there wasn't enough… I don't mind not…"

"Not what?"

"Not getting any. It's okay! I'm used to it though. Really." God, why did Patton have to open his stupid mouth. He'd been doing so good! But wasn't quite sure what he'd done to deserve the looks of disgust and horror on everyone's faces.

"I would like to have words with your mother," Indigo said, all but spatting out the last word.

"...'M sorry."

"Oh god," Virgil said. "Don't be sorry."

"S— sorry. Ah, no wait—"

"Hey," Roman stepped forward and Patton flinched back, trying to press himself even further into the loveseat. "It's alright. You're okay, Patton."

"I didn't m— mean to make you upset. I— mm."

"Patton," Indigo said softly. "No one is mad or upset at you. We're just concerned about you. Especially that you seem to think it's okay for you to not have any food while we do. Even if there wasn't quite enough, we'd split it evenly, not just give you nothing."

"Gosh, you guys are so nice." Patton didn't mention that it was just because they hadn't had to deal with just how truly awful he could mess stuff up.

"Not really," Virgil said. "I— Patton, this is just basic human decency. We're supposed to take care of each other."

"Oh… I— huh. I just…" Patton finally uncurled out of the small ball he'd tucked himself into, limbs aching from how tense he'd been. "Well, anyway, I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause such a hullabaloo."

"It's alright," Roman murmured. "You can't help reacting like that. I…" Roman seemed like he wanted to say more, but instead said, "Anyway, you feel up to eating, Patton?"

"Oh no! Eating Patton?" Patton giggled a bit at his own joke.

Virgil snorted. "Oh my god, he's a dork."

"But um, if… if there's enough…"

"Of course," Roman assured. "There's plenty."

"I— okay. Yeah… yeah." Patton stood up and walked over to the bar, but hesitated at which stool to sit on. What if he accidentally sat on the one that Roman or Virgil usually sat on?

Virgil and Indigo came out of the kitchen with drinks just as Roman finished placing the bowls and silverware along the bar. Virgil sat on the far right stool with Roman to his left, and Indigo to the left of Roman. Leaving the far left stool open for Patton.

They'd almost finished eating when Virgil exclaimed, "Oh, wait! Y'all were supposed to tell us how you got here."

"Ah, yes. I'd forgotten as well. Patton, would you care to start?"

"Oh, um, sure! Let's see… So, I was walking through the woods and there was an archway made out of stone but instead of a door, it was filled with a blue light. I wasn't actually going to go through it, just gonna get a closer look, but it drew me closer and the next thing I knew I was in a field and it was afternoon! Oh, it was night when I was in the woods by the way. Um… oh! And then the portal disappeared behind me, and then I saw Indigo there looking at his flower, and he couldn't remember his name and— oh! I should let you tell this part."

"Thank you, Patton. Yes, as he said, I couldn't remember my name, or anything back beyond arriving there. I'd been there for quite some time staring at this flower." Indigo picked up his flower from where he'd set it by his bowl, before setting it back down. "But since the portal had disappeared, we decided to seek shelter. Patton saw the smoke from your chimney, so we headed in this direction, and I'm sure you can extrapolate the rest."

Roman blinked a few times. "...Huh. Well that's weird… anyway, does anyone want seconds?"

"Oh my God," Virgil said exasperatedly. "I— Roman."

…

After everyone had helped wash and put away dishes, Roman putting the leftovers away, they moved back into the living room, everyone just relaxing peacefully.

Patton couldn't remember a time he'd actually been allowed to eat his fill, let alone without having to do chores before eating. The perks of being a guest, Patton supposed.

Virgil leaned against Roman, who wrapped his arms around Virgil without hesitation, and Patton couldn't help but smile at them.

"Y'all are such good friends!" Patton noted.

"Uh, well…" Virgil's eyebrows knit together. "I mean, yes but actually no."

"You meme-r," Roman teased.

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Shut."

"Ohhh, y'all are frenemies. I can kinda see that."

Roman tried to hide his snickering, and failed miserably.

"N— no. Like, the other way," Virgil said.

"Best friends?"

"Oh, geez."

Indigo adjusted his glasses. "I don't think that's what they mean, Patton."

"Like, you know, lovers?" Roman tried.

"Love… lovers?"

"Yeah." Virgil nodded. "We're partners."

"Wait, that's a thing? Like, you can do that?"

"Uh… yeah? Of course we can," Virgil said, voice borderline defensive.

"Oh wow! I didn't know people could do that. I mean like, so, two men can be together, just like a man and a woman can?"

"Yeah. We can. So can two women, or even more than two people."

"Wow! That's so cool!!"

Indigo sighed distastefully. "As I've said before, I would like to have words with your mother."

"What?"

"Don't worry about it, Patton."

"Oh… uh, okay."

"Well…" Virgil yawned. "I'm sure y'all are exhausted, especially from walking all that way. We have a guest room, but there's only one bed. Now it's a queen so if y'all don't mind sharing… but I suppose there's the loveseat if one of you'd rather."

"Ah, no need, we can share the bed. That'll be fine, thank you. Er, I mean, as long as that's alright with you, Patton?"

"Yeah! It'll be like a sleepover… I think."

"...Sure. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what sleepovers involve, but that sounds right."

"What! Neither of you have had a sleepover!!" Roman exclaimed more than he asked.

"Oh no, here we go. Roman, they need sleep."

"But they've never had a sleepover!"

Virgil fondly rolled his eyes before turning back to Indigo and Patton. "Hey, y'all wanna stay tomorrow night too?"

"Oh, I— I mean, if it's not too much trouble," Indigo said.

"Nah, it'll be easier. Like, it might take me a few days to figure something out for y'all, and this way y'all can sleep tonight, and really enjoy all the stuff Roman's no doubt already begun planning."

"You know me so well. We're gonna watch movies, and have snacks, and hot chocolate, and tell stories, and play board games, and truth or dare, and sleep on the floor with a bunch of pillows in the living room!"

"Oh, wow! That's a lot!" Patton couldn't help but deflate. "Oh, um, is… is it like, for everyone? It's okay if not! I just… if um, it…"

Oh, great. Everyone was frowning again. Why couldn't Patton just stop upsetting everyone?

"Patton," Indigo paused before sighing softly. "First of all, no one is upset with you—"

"You're not?" Patton winced. "Sorry for interrupting."

"It's alright. And no, we're not upset with you."

"Yeah, we're really not," Virgil assured. "Just a bit worried about you is all."

"Exactly. Not upset, just worried." Indigo adjusted his glasses. "Ah, that was first of all, so second of all, why do you assume that you might not be included in everyone? You're not lesser than us. So why would you count for less?"

"I don't… I don't know, I just feel like I do. Sorry. Plus, you all haven't had to… had to deal with just how badly I mess up. I'm actually quite lazy."

"Good for you. Rest and taking care of yourself is important."

"...What?"

Roman sighed softly. "I… I should've said this earlier but, I just want you to know that you're allowed to take up space. Especially here. Especially with us. Take up as much space as you want. I… I understand how hard it can be to feel like you can, but I assure you, you're allowed to take up space and just exist here, okay?"

"O— oh, I— okay. It…" Patton lifted his glasses and furiously wiped underneath his eyes before he whispered, "Thank you."

For several weeks now they'd been searching through Virgil's extensive library for any spell or potion that could bring Indigo's memories back.

Unfortunately, so far the closest thing they'd found was rosemary, but that was more to help with studying and memory retention, not for bringing all memories back.

Patton was starting to get tired of books. He'd always struggled with reading, but once the words started to swim, he really felt done. But he would endure. Indigo was counting on him!

Virgil had offered to take Patton back home on the third day of their stay, but he'd refused. He didn't want to leave yet… Well, really he didn't want to leave at all, but he wasn't about to say that and try to overstay his welcome.

And to be fair, he really did want to stay to make sure Indigo got his memories back, but… he was also staying for selfish reasons. He'd miss all of them.

They'd all gotten a lot closer in the short amount of time that they'd known each other, and Patton just wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to go home.

He hated it at home, and loved it here… but he was needed at home, and wasn't here. He wouldn't delude himself that anyone here would actually want him to be around long-term.

They liked him okay right now, but that would quickly wear out. He just made too many mistakes for anyone other than his mother to keep him around.

He was awful just for thinking like this. After everything his mother had done for him, he was still wanting more. He really was an ungrateful brat.

How was he this selfish? How did he always manage to be such a bad person?

Patton repressed a shiver.

Gosh, his mother was going to be so mad at him when he returned home.

"Aha!" Virgil exclaimed as he slammed a book down on the cottage's library table, making Patton jump half out of his mind. "I think I found something!"

"What?" Indigo asked, putting down the book he'd been looking through. "What is it?" He stood and went around the table to look over Virgil's shoulder.

Patton subtly took some deep breaths. No one was mad at him. He was fine.

Geez, he was always so jumpy.

"Okay, so it's a spell and…" Virgil paused. "Well, you know the phrase 'take a trip down memory lane' ?"

"Yes?"

"Well, it's a lot like that! We'll look at some of your most important memories, and the rest should come soon after. It may not… not be quite everything, or as good of like, quality, but it should be pretty close. About as close as we can get."

"I—" Indigo looked like he was trying, and failing to hold back a smile. "That is wonderful news! When… when could we cast it?"

"Hmm, so we don't quite have all the ingredients, but they're all easy to get…"

"That's good."

"Except…"

"Ah."

"Except the dragonskin."

"The what?" Patton asked, nose wrinkling. They couldn't just kill a dragon and steal it's skin!

"Okay, so you know snakeskins? Well, dragon's shed their skin similarly." Virgil went back to studying his book.

"Oh! Well, that's… that's much better than what I thought. Still sounds difficult though."

"Yeah, it probably will be hard…" Virgil said distractedly before turning to Roman. "Yo, Ro?"

"Yes, my lovely love?"

"You wanna go out to Smoky Mountain and get some from the Dragon Witch?"

"Mm! Yeah, can do. It's a good thing I sharpened my sword yesterday. I'm gonna need it."

"Hey, Pat? How do you feel about going on a quest with Roman?"

"Oh, uh… sure!"

"Great!"

Oh, gosh, he was going to have to face a dragon. A dragon witch even… however that worked. At least he'd have Roman with him.

Patton just hoped he wouldn't let Roman down. He'd never fought anything before, so he wasn't sure if he'd be able to hold his own, but he'd certainly try his best.

Virgil turned to Indigo. "You should come with me. You're going to love Dragonspark."

"Dragon spark?"

"Yeah, that's the town where you and I are gonna get the few herbs I don't have. We'll need to get gingko and a pansy." Virgil clapped his hands together, causing Patton to jump yet again. "Alright, I guess everyone get ready then. Oh, and Roman? Grab Patton a small weapon for just in case, he won't be used to your big swords."

"Way ahead of ya!"

...

"Okay, everyone have everything?" Virgil asked.

"Yep! ...Probably."

"Roman."

"I'm just messing with you. Of course I do."

Virgil took a deep breath. "Okay. Right… just like I always do." He dipped two fingers in a small bowl, the ends of his fingers now purple, and drew the outline of two doors on the wall.

They shimmered and filled the part where a door would go in with a solid colour, still outlined with purple. Grey on the left, and green on the right.

"The grey one leads to the mountain, and the green one to the town. If one team isn't back in three hours the other one can go after them."

Indigo frowned. "But what if neither team gets back?"

"Well… then I guess we have nothing to worry about."

"Virgil," Roman scolded.

"I… I really don't know. Let's hope that doesn't happen."

"Wow, your confidence is overwhelming."

"Thanks, Jan— oops, I mean Roman."

"Hey! Let's go Patton. Before he insults me any further." Roman playfully stuck his tongue out at Virgil.

Patton waved. "Bye, Virgil. Bye, Indigo. Stay safe!"

"Y'all too!"

"Have a safe journey."

Roman stepped through the portal, the grey surface of the portal shimmering as he went through.

Patton took one last look at Indigo, and waved before he followed after Roman.

...

The very steep trek up the mountain had not been easy on Patton's knees, and it was one of the few times that he was glad his mother had so strictly taught him not to complain. Even if he wasn't as fond of her teaching style.

Patton almost let out an audible sigh of relief when the opening of the cave they were looking for came into view, and clutched the messenger bag that Virgil had let him borrow a bit tighter.

They walked into the dark, open mouth of the cave, footsteps echoing around the large tunnel eerily. It was so big that Patton thought his mother's entire house could probably fit in it.

Patton felt, rather than heard the deep rhythmic rumbling, but as they walked further down and deeper into the cave system, he realised it sounded almost like… breathing?

What could even make such wall-shaking breaths like that? A giant? Oh, or maybe the dra—

They turned the corner, only to find themselves face to face with a very large, very angry looking dragon. Their glowing, orange eyes glared directly at Patton and Roman as torchlight glittered across their silver scales.

Their magnificent, bejewelled, loose S-shape horns were the same jagged black as their sharp claws, and smoke arose from their nostrils with every exhale.

Patton, all focus having previously been on the dragon, belatedly realised that the tunnel had opened up into an oversized cave. The floor was unnaturally smoove. Torches mounted on the wall lit up the entire room, and glinted off of the gold, silver and jewels that lay in heaps all around the cavern's edges. To one side was a giant pile of hay that had been flattened down in the middle, most likely where the dragon slept.

Strangely enough, the room was free from bones, and Patton decided to take that as the dragon didn't eat people, not as the dragon ate people... bones and all.

Roman spoke softly aside to Patton, "Don't engage with her. No matter what. Just step off to the side and let me handle this, okay?"

Patton nodded vigorously but wasn't even sure if Roman had seen it as he stared intensely at the dragon, so Patton whispered back, "Okay."

Patton stepped back and to the side as Roman stepped forward, unsheathing his sword and widening his feet to a fighting stance.

"Dragon Witch," Roman coldly greeted.

"Stupid foolish mortal that I can't be bothered to remember the name of."

Roman gasped offendly.

Oh, okay. The dragon could speak… that didn't exactly seem like a normal thing for a dragon to do. Although, Patton was by no means an expert on dragons. For all he knew maybe it was normal for them, or perhaps it wasn't and instead had something to do with the witch aspect of her name.

"You take that back!"

The dragon huffed and condescendingly said, "Why don't you come fight me then. Fight me, little boy. Fight me with your tiny toy sword."

Roman let out a guttural growl as he sprang forward, his sword clanging against her scales.

The Dragon Witch was… absolutely terrifying in Patton's opinion, but Roman had managed to hold his own so far, using his size and agility against the dragon's slowness.

The dragon swiped at Roman, who just barely dodged, his sword clinking off one of her claws, leaving them both unscathed but annoyed.

The dragon didn't even seem to be trying very hard, looking more like a cat playing with a toy than anything.

Roman on the other hand, was having a much harder time, only just dodging the dragon's attacks, his expression that of pure concentration. Even from this distance, Patton could see the sweat dripping down his face.

Roman had said not to interfere, no matter what, but Patton was finding it increasingly difficult to follow his command.

Sure he had no experience fighting whatsoever, but surely he could help! If he just— no, Roman had been very firm on him staying out of the way, and Patton was nothing if not good at obeying, even when he didn't want to.

Roman said something that Patton couldn't quite catch and the dragon roared, wings stretching out only to flit and fold back down when one wing whacked against the cavern ceiling.

More smoke poured out of her flaring nostrils as she swiped again, but Roman didn't quite jump to the side in time, her paw knocking him down and laying on his chest to pin him down.

Patton's heart sank as Roman's sword went clattering across the floor.

Patton needed to move! Where was the adrenaline that had begged him to move just a moment ago? He had a sword, he needed to save Roman, or at least try, but in order to do that he needed to move!

Roman struggled to try and push the dragon's paw off of him, but to no avail as his small arms were no match for just how massive it was.

Patton's legs still refused to cooperate, weighted down as if they were filled with concrete.

Why couldn't he just move!?

A small whimper left Patton's throat as tears began to well up in his eyes.

But just as she was about to chomp down on Roman's head, she instead threw her head back, her laughter echoing off of the walls as she shrunk down into a… human?

Although some of her dragon-esque features remained, giving away the fact that she wasn't wholly human.

Her eyes were still that unnatural shade of orange, and silver scales dotted her face, matching with her silver robes. Her now smaller horns stuck out through her blue and purple pointy hat, and her nails still very much looked like black claws, just now on a much smaller scale.

She held out a hand, which Roman took, and helped him up. "You have improved since we last fought," She said, sounding almost… proud?

Patton managed to take a deep breath, wiping the escaped tears away as he desperately tried to figure out what just happened.

"I still lost," Roman pouted.

"Yes, you did. But you still made it much farther than you usually do! And I can tell you're more confident and light-footed."

Roman smiled shyly. "Thanks. And you're, of course, just as Maleficent— I mean, magnificent as ever."

"Hah, as if you didn't 'slip up' on purpose."

"I— well, you can't prove anything!"

Patton hesitantly took a step forward. "Sorry to bother…" He tried not to wince at how weak he sounded. "But I was just kinda wondering what's going on?" He tried to keep the worry and desperation out of his voice, he really did! But it snook in anyway.

"Oh! Oh wait, I forgot to— oh no! You must've been so worried." Roman's brow was furrowed in genuine concern and sorrow. It was actually almost overwhelming to Patton just how upset Roman was by this. "I'm so sorry, Patton. I— oh shit, you're crying!"

"Ah, s— sorry." Patton messily scrubbed underneath his eyes, trying to will the tears to stop. "I guess it was just a bit too much. I— you don't worry about it though. 'M okay."

"No, Patton. That must've been really scary, and I'm so sorry that I forgot to tell you what was going on. I'll do better and make sure nothing like this ever happens again."

"I— oh. R— right, okay." Patton glanced over at the dragonish lady, noticing how she was awkwardly trying to pretend that she wasn't there.

"There's really nothing to worry about," Roman assured, most likely having assumed that Patton's glance was out of worry, instead of worry and curiosity.

Roman gestured to the dragonish lady. "This is Malcana." She hesitantly waved. "She's a dragon and a witch, so Virgil and I jokingly call her the Dragon Witch. But we know her really well as she's actually a good friend of ours."

"Oh, well… that's good!" Patton tried to smile but he was sure it came out shaky. At least the tears had finally stopped.

"I apologize for any grief or worry I may have caused you," Malcana said. "It's such a common thing for Roman and I that we didn't even stop to consider how it would seem to you."

Patton vaguely recalled reading somewhere that apologies were a big deal for dragons. They didn't often admit when they were wrong.

"Thanks, I… I really appreciate it. Um, that's to— to both of you, by the way."

Malcana smiled, which was slightly intimidating, but it was the thought that counted.

Roman clapped Patton's shoulder. "Of course, Patton. It's important for us to admit when we're wrong and focus on doing better."

"Oh… yeah, of course."

Malcana looked around and frowned. "Not that I don't enjoy standing around, but shall we move somewhere more comfortable? The living room, perhaps?"

"Yeah." Roman nodded. "That'd be nice. Thanks."

They walked back down the tunnel, turning off to the right, and then to the left into another cavern. It was smaller than the one for Malcana's dragon form, and looked like a cozy living room.

Further beyond was a slightly bigger than human sized hallway, which most likely led to a bathroom, bedroom, and maybe even a spell room/library like Virgil's house had.

Malcana sat in an armchair and gestured for Roman and Patton to sit down on the couch. Patton took off the borrowed messenger bag and put it in between him and Roman.

Malcana crossed her legs. "So, what did you come for?"

"Wh— hey!" Roman exclaimed. "Who says we came here for something?"

Malcana gave the most unimpressed of looks. "If you were just visiting, Virgil would be here."

"Hah, okay, you got me there. He's actually gathering some herbs for a spell right now and sent Patton and I to see if you have any dragonskin to spare."

"Yeah, I do. I suppose if I have to, I could give you a bit. What kind of spell is he using it for?"

"A memory revival spell. Our new friend, Indigo, has lost all of his memories, so we're trying to get them back. I'm not really sure how dragonskin plays into that, but I help where I can."

"Mm, well, since it's a memory spell, it probably calls for dragonskin because, for one, we're pretty wise, if I do say so myself, two, we have good long-term memory, and three, with dragon's natural magical properties… that really makes sense."

"Yeah, I really don't understand it either," Roman teased.

Malcana pursed her lips. "Well, I wouldn't expect someone of your intelligence, or lack thereof, to understand the complicity and nuances of magic."

"Hey!"

"Anyway!" Malcana stood up. "I'm going to go get the dragonskin."

"No! You just insulted me, come back here!"

"Oh? I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you wanted it, but if you'd rather I come over there and kick your butt at a rap battle like last time, then I most certainly can."

"Wait, noo."

Malcana laughed. "Okay, that's what I thought," She called as she disappeared down the beyond hallway.

"Hey," Roman said, looking over at Patton. "Just so you know, you can insert yourself into the conversation at any time. We're super chill usually, and you're more than welcome to add whatever you'd like."

"Oh, uh, thanks. I guess I just usually don't have a lot to say. Sorry."

"No! It's alright. I just meant if you did have anything, you can say it. You're pretty quiet and I wanna make sure that you know that you're always allowed to take up space."

"Oh, gosh, you're so sweet, Roman! Thanks. It really means a lot, and I'm… I think I'm getting there."

"You are! You've come a long way and I'm really proud of you!"

Patton felt his cheeks warm, but didn't get a chance to reply as Malcana came back, holding a small jar filled with a long coil of faintly glowing, clearish silver dragonskin.

"Here you go then, shed it myself." She handed the jar to Roman and he put it in the messenger bag.

"Wow, that was fast!"

"Thank you," Patton said. "We really appreciate it!"

"Oh, you're welcome." Malcana smiled and Patton tried his best not to feel like prey.

"Yes, thank you! Virgil will be absolutely delighted." Roman stood up, clapping once. "Well, as much as we'd love to stay and chat, we really should be off."

Patton stood up as well, grabbing and putting on the messenger bag as he did so.

"Are you sure you can't stay for Twister?" Malcana asked as they walked.

Roman snorted. "Knowing you, that would probably involve an actual tornado."

"But of course! After all, it wouldn't be half as interesting without at least one."

"As tempting as that is… I'm afraid we're gonna have to pass this time. As I said earlier, Virgil's trying to do a spell, and will probably send out a search party if we don't get back soon."

"Ah, well, give him my regards, and I hope y'all have a very productive casting." Malcana stopped when they got to the main tunnel. "Now go away, you bother me."

"Alright, alright. We're going."

"Don't forget to visit again soon, and maybe even not just when you need something."

"Hah, yeah. Fair enough." Roman waved. "See you later, Malcana."

Patton waved as well. "Goodbye, Ma'am!"

"Goodbye strange but endearing human!"

When Patton and Roman returned, the portal closing behind them, Virgil and Indigo were already back, Virgil gathering the last few supplies needed for the memory spell.

"Well, we're back!" Roman proclaimed.

Virgil's face lit up. "Hey! How'd it go?"

Patton didn't catch Roman's response as Indigo pulled Patton to the side, his arm burning where Indigo touched him, even after Indigo let go.

Indigo adjusted his glasses. "I'm glad to see your safe return."

"Me too," Patton muttered.

"Oh?" Indigo tilted his head to the side. "Did something happen?"

"Oh, I— sorry, don't worry about it. It was just a misunderstanding. It's… it's fine."

"It is very clearly 'not fine'," Indigo said, putting the last two words in air quotes. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wish to, but you are visibly shaken, and I want to make sure that you're okay."

"Oh… well, it— just, apparently Roman knows the dragon we went to get the dragonskin from, and they have like, play fights? And just forgot to tell me and then it… it got a bit intense looking and I— I was a bit worried. That's all."

"Oh, Newton, that sounds terrifying! No wonder you look shaken up."

"I… really? You don't think I'm just overreacting?"

"Oh, no, not at all! If anything, I'm a bit surprised you aren't reacting more."

"Oh, well, I guess I just try not to bother other people too much… but like I said, I really am fine though."

"And that's concerning in and of itself. You're allowed to tell us about your emotions, especially if they're messy or negative ones. And as for the assurance that you're fine, you know you don't have to be, right? If you're not fine, you can tell us… you can tell me."

"Well, I… you sure?"

"Of course. I wouldn't be offering otherwise." The gentle concern and burning determination on Indigo's face almost left Patton breathless.

"I… I guess it did scare me a lot more than I pretend. I know everything's fine now, but— but if he'd gotten hurt… and I just stood there. I mean, he told me to, probably because he's friends with the dragon —Malcana is her name, by the way— and knew that it was just pretend, and of course, he didn't want me to get in the way and he wasn't really ever in any danger. But I still… if that had been real, if she actually was attacking him for real… it— whatever happened would've been my fault."

Indigo wrapped Patton's hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. "No. It wouldn't have been your fault, Patton. Even if he hadn't told you to wait there, it still wouldn't have been your fault. It's very hard to control what reaction you have. You froze and it's alright. It's a very normal reaction to have towards something scary or stressful."

"It is?"

"Yes. Most people have heard of fight or flight, but the lesser known fawn and freeze are also normal and valid reactions. You did what you could and that's enough." Indigo squeezed Patton's hand again. "You're always enough, Patton."

"Oh, geez. I— I really needed to hear that. I… thank you, Indigo."

Indigo smiled softly and carefully wiped away a tear that rolled down Patton's cheek. "Of course."

Virgil cleared his throat to get Patton and Indigo's attention. "Y'all ready to do this?"

"Ready if you are!" Patton exclaimed, letting go of Indigo's hand, and trying to cover up how much Virgil clearing his throat had startled Patton.

"Yes." Indigo adjusted his glasses. "I am a bit anxious, but ready to start whenever you are."

"Alrighty then," Virgil said. "I'd— I'd tell you not to be anxious but then I'd be a hypocrite. It'll be okay though. Roman and I will make sure of it."

"Quite right! You have nothing to fear, our dear nerd."

They stood next to the table where some of the herbs had already been laid out. Virgil set a small vial filled with a glowing, pale neon green liquid next to the copper spell bowl.

"What's in the vial?" Indigo asked.

"That's the spell activator slash base."

"Activator slash base?"

"Okay so, some people call it a spell activator, and some people call it a spell base. There's a little bit of debate in the witch community about which term to call it, but I just use both terms, because like, it really just depends on the spell. For example, some spells you add it at the end, so it's more of an activator. But with some spells, you add everything to it so it's really more of a base. You know?"

"Ah, I see. That makes sense. Which way will it be used for this spell?"

"Activator."

"Do we have everything?" Roman asked.

"We should! Let's see, we have the activator, we have the dragonskin, the rosemary, gingko, one indigo pansy, a bit of goldenrod… okay, technically it didn't exactly say that the pansy had to be indigo, but it seemed fitting."

Patton giggled. "Like his name."

"Exactly!" Virgil pulled out a rather large mortar and pestle. "Oh, hey, Roman?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna start crushing these herbs? I feel the need to read the instructions like, twelve more times."

"Alright, Hocus Pocus. Can do!"

After Roman had ground up all the herbs —except for the pansy— and Virgil decided that he'd read over the passage enough times, they began.

Virgil tipped the crushed herbs into the copper bowl and added the dragonskin. "Everyone ready?"

After everyone gave their consent, Virgil carefully poured the activator over the ingredients, causing them to begin to dissolve. He gently set the one indigo pansy on top of the mixture, which dissolved instantly, and made sure not to touch the chunky liquid.

"Okay," Virgil muttered to himself. "Here we go."

Virgil's eyes glowed a vibrant, magical purple as he concentrated on the bowl, causing the mix of ingredients to glow a similar shade as it fully mixed and became a smooth liquid. "Okay, Indigo, dip your hand in the bowl, and throw the liquid that clings to your hand out into the room."

"Alright." The moment Indigo touched the liquid, it turned from Virgil's purple to a glowing indigo. Indigo flung his hand out, the liquid flying out like gravity-defying water drops.

Virgil's eyes faded as the indigo water drops sparkled, shifting into little diamond-shaped sparks.

Patton had kind of expected there to be more of them, but there weren't even quite a dozen.

Indigo's eyes widened in wonder. "Are those…"

Virgil smiled. "Your memories? Yes, they are."

Indigo reached out his left hand, but stopped just before touching it.

"It's okay. You can touch it. You won't get sucked into the memory unless I'm there to like, guide you into it."

Indigo carefully plucked it out of the air, a small laugh bubbling out of his throat. "Oh! It's so warm!"

"Well, it must be a good one then. Everyone ready?" Everyone nodded. "Alright." Virgil set his hand on Indigo's left shoulder. "Roman, Patton, grab on."

Roman held Virgil's left hand, and Patton hesitantly slotted his hand into Indigo's right. Indigo gave it a comforting squeeze.

Patton's stomach dropped as he blinked. The muffled and slightly delayed sound of people chattering filling his ears.

Everyone pulled apart, Patton a bit more reluctantly, as they took in their surroundings.

They weren't in the cottage library anymore, instead they were in a small coffee shop.

Drinks poured themselves, and the art on the wall actually moved, but the strangest thing about the place was the odd brownish haze that overlayed everything, and was so thick on one side of the building that Patton couldn't make anything out at all.

But Patton supposed that made sense, he couldn't remember whole rooms in perfect detail all the time either.

"So, does this place seem familiar?" Virgil asked.

"Um… a bit. I— yes, it does. It just took me a minute to…"

That's alright," Roman assured. "We certainly don't expect you to recognize and remember everything right away."

Patton looked around the shop and spotted a gap in the haze, the gap almost looking sunny in comparison to the dullness of its surroundings.

In the middle of the sunny gap, memory Indigo sat at a table with two other people on the other side of the shop. He could only make out the back of the other people's heads, one having shortish wavy brown hair, and the other wearing a black bowler hat.

As they approached, the other two's faces came into view. The person who wore the hat had green scales of half of his face, with the eye on that side being a bright yellow, his other eye brown.

"A dragon," Patton murmured.

"This will most likely take some time and…" Roman paused as he looked at who else was sitting with memory Indigo. "Wait, Remus?"

Patton looked at the other man sitting there and almost startled because of just how much like Roman the man looked. The only obvious differences being that the man had green eyeshadow, a moustache, and a bit of silver in his hair.

"R— Remus…" Indigo blinked a few times. "Yes. That name does sound familiar."

"Wow, small world," Virgil said. "You knew Janus and Remus too."

"And Janus is… Remus' partner?"

"Yeah! See, it's coming back to you."

"What are they saying?" Roman asked.

"Well," Virgil lightly hissed. "Maybe if you shushed, we'd know."

"Hey!" But despite Roman's protest, he quietened down.

"I would just like to say," Memory Indigo was saying. "That I really appreciate you two allowing me to come with you. I know I am often quite boring, but every…" Memory Indigo blinked a few times. Was he fighting back tears? "Apologies. As I was saying, everytime you continue to invite me to 'hangout'—"

Roman frowned. "Did you just put air quotes around the word 'hangout'?"

"Shhh!" Virgil hissed.

"You shhh!"

"Oh my gosh, kiddos please."

"Aww," Roman's look alike, Remus said. "You know we love hanging out with you, Lo."

Janus patted memory Indigo's (Lo's?) hand, which was resting on the table. "Quite right. And we're definitely going to get tired of you, you know that."

"Yeah, we ain't leavin' you."

"Thank you. I… this means a lot to me."

"Huh." Virgil sighed. "Shit."

"What?" Patton asked.

"I must've done the spell wrong. I was trying to find important memories. Sorry, Indigo. Let's go and find a good on—"

"No!" Indigo pulled the spark close to his chest, all but cradling it. "Er, I mean… we… we could stay a bit longer… if that's alright."

"It— well, yeah. Of course we can stay. These are your memories. I'm just the guide. But I just thought you might wanna look at a more interesting or important memory. That's all."

Indigo forlornly looked down at the spark in his hands. "Is… is this not a good enough memory?"

"No! That's not what I meant. It just seemed to be a typical 'comforting your anxieties' memory."

"Yeah," Roman agreed. "We just want to make sure you get to see all the important stuff in your life."

Indigo did the same abnormal blinking pattern that memory Indigo had done a bit prior. "Well, it may just seem like an insignificant memory to you, but it meant everything to me! I always felt like I was the metaphorical third wheel, and they assured me that I wasn't, and I was able to finally begin to believe them. It was the first time anyone had called me friend and meant it."

"Oh… oh shit," Virgil said. "I'm so sorry, Indigo. I should've realised it was important. I literally have anxiety, so I really should've understood how much being assured that we're wanted can be."

Roman ran his fingers through his hair. "And I'm sorry too. I was insensitive and wasn't paying enough attention to how important this memory clearly is to you."

"Ah, I—" A few tears ran down Indigo's face. "Thank you."

"Sorry if this sounds rude, but… do I need to apologise too?" Patton asked.

Indigo choked out a laugh as he wiped at his cheeks. "No, you're good, Patton. You haven't done anything."

"Okay, just checking."

"And I appreciate it."

They paused for a moment as Indigo composited himself, his tears finally stopping.

"You know—" Roman snorted, cutting himself off. "I still can't believe you know my brother. Like, what a small world."

"Right!" Virgil agreed. "And then, of course, by knowing Remus, you know Malcana's brother, Janus."

"Wait, Janus is Malcana's brother?" Patton asked.

"Yeah, Roman and Malcana introduced their siblings to each other, and had to help them get together later when they were being stubborn about their feelings. I'm actually a bit surprised that we never met Indigo."

"They'd offered…" Indigo said it so softly that Patton wasn't sure if he meant to say it out at all, or was even aware that he knew that in the first place. "I had declined, at least for a bit. I was too nervous to meet new people. New people usually aren't… the most kind or understanding in my experience. But I'm… I'm so glad you all have been so caring, and really it's good we met this way. I got to meet Patton after all."

"Aww, I'm really glad to have met all of you too," Patton said, and was slightly taken aback by just how much he meant it.

Indigo lowered his voice, almost murmuring, "I'm… I think I'm ready to go now."

"Alright, everyone hold on then." Virgil put his hand on Indigo's shoulder and held Roman's hand with his other one.

Patton held Indigo's other hand and couldn't help but wonder if it was the last time he'd ever touch Indigo.

Patton closed his eyes, his stomach doing a flip, and when he opened his eyes again, they were back in the cottage's library, indigo sparks still floating about.

Patton had to stomp down the whine that threatened to leave his throat when Indigo let go of Patton's hand.

The spark Indigo held seemed a bit heavier and dimmer now.

"Here, you can put the ones we've seen in this box," Virgil said, holding out a cardboard box.

"Ah, thank you." Indigo carefully set it in the box, and Patton half expected it to float away, but it didn't.

Virgil set the box on the table. "So which one next?"

"How about…" Indigo plucked another spark out of the air. "This one?"

Roman smiled. "Good choice!"

"Everyone ready?" Virgil asked.

"Oof, actually, I'm really sorry, Indigo, but... my head hurts. Yeah. So I'm gonna go— go rest. But I hope your memory looking goes well!"

Indigo almost looked disappointed. "Are you sure? We can wait to finish later, if you'd like."

"No, that's alright! You can tell me all about it later, okay?"

"...Well, alright. If you're sure."

"I am. See you later!"

"Feel better soon!" Roman exclaimed.

"If your head still hurts when we get back, I can make you some tea to help it," Virgil called as Patton walked out of the library.

"Okay, thanks!"

Patton wasn't going to mention that it was actually his heart that was in pain. That his emotional heart was aching because he'd have to leave soon.

He felt bad for lying to them, but he just needed to take a bit to himself. Plus, he'd already spent a lot of time with them today, he didn't want to make them tired of him, or think he was a burden.

Maybe if he was good, they would forget that he was supposed to go home after Indigo got his memories back, even if just for a few days.

But Patton knew it was all about to end, and he just wasn't ready for it to.

The last few… however long it'd been, had been a blur of crying, sleeping, and occasional numbness.

God, he'd gotten too comfortable here, what had he been thinking? Of course they wouldn't want him here. He wasn't wanted. No one had ever wanted him, and no one ever would. He couldn't believe that for a second, just a brief second, he'd actually thought that they might actually want him.

But no. Why would they? Sure, they said that he didn't have to be useful, but if he wasn't useful and helpful then he'd just be a burden, and no one liked burdens.

Even his own mother didn't want him, and had only taken him in after Patton's father's death out of social obligation. Of course, Patton did everything he could to try and pay back the debt he owed. Having to house a teenager —and later an adult— wasn't easy, but he'd still done his best to help with anything that he could.

He'd hoped he could do something similar here with Indigo, Roman, and Virgil, but his time was quickly running out, if it hadn't already.

No matter how hard he thought about it, he just couldn't find a good long-term solution. If he went home, his mother would be… upset, and Patton would be distraught at losing his new friends, but then he wouldn't be bothering them anymore. They'd have no chance to get frustrated and annoyed with him if he left before they truly could. Although maybe he already had annoyed them and—

But if he stayed, then his mother would… be all alone, and he'd eventually, and perhaps rather soon, wear his welcome out and make them hate him. And then where would, where could he go.

Then he'd really be stuck between a rock and a hard place. But maybe if he was good, like really really good, like did all the chores and didn't mess up… ugh, but Patton always managed to mess up.

But then again, he'd messed up plenty these past few weeks, and all they did was gently correct and or reassure him. So maybe it would be as hopeless as he thought.

Oh, but he couldn't just invite himself to stay, and besides, after all his mother has done for him… dang, that just left him right back where he started.

He just wanted to stay, to have a family— no, that wasn't fair to his Mother. What kind of son even thought like that? An ungrateful one, his mother's voice echoed in his mind.

His body stiffened and breath trembled at just the thought of having to face his mother and explain where he'd been this whole time.

Tears pricked at his eyes yet again. He was just so tired. Tired of crying, of messing up… of being hurt. Just… tired.

Patton sniffed miserably as he let the tears cascade down his cheeks.

What even was the point of anything? He couldn't even do anything right—

Patton's thoughts were interrupted by someone softly knocking on the door.

Patton cleared his throat and wiped his eyes, trying to make it look like he hadn't been on and off sobbing, but he couldn't bring himself to even sit up. God, he was so lazy.

"Y— yeah? Uh, come in?"

Indigo gently opened the door. "Greetings, we looked at all the memories there and I wanted to check on you to make sure you're oka—" Indigo finally looked at Patton, or more accurately, where Patton was buried under the covers. "Ah, is your headache still bothering you?"

Patton peeked his eyes up above the blanket and looked at Indigo owlishly. "Uh… yeah?" Patton winced at just how very much like a lie his answer sounded like.

"I— have you been crying? It's alright if you have. I was, um… Can you tell me what's wrong, Patton?"

Patton looked up, trying to will the tears to not fall. "I'm just… just gonna miss everyone, that's all."

"Miss us— oh, right. You're leaving." Indigo said it so as a matter of fact that all Patton could do was try and keep himself from uncontrollably sobbing.

"I— ye— yeah."

Indigo frowned. "Will… will you not be visiting us?"

"Well…"

"O— oh. I…" Indigo turned away. "Apologies, I seem to have a problem—" He sniffed, "—Regulating my emotions at the moment."

"What do you— oh!" Patton hurried to sit up and firmly clutched the sweater paws of his hoodie to ground himself. "Oh, Indigo, you're crying. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't cry! What did I do?"

"No, you haven't done anything! I just— will miss you too."

"Wait, really?" Patton leaned back against the headboard and crossed his legs underneath himself. "You'll miss me?"

Indigo shakily nodded. "Of course I will. You're my friend, are you not?"

"I— we're friends?" Patton couldn't help the hope that nagged at his heart.

"Er, I thought so. Apologies if I misunderstood, I just thought that…"

"No! I'd love to be your friend! I just didn't… I didn't know you wanted to be too."

"So… so wait, you're not avoiding visiting because of me? Because if you are I can leave when you're going to come ov—"

"What!? No! Why would I not want to see you? You're my friend. You're all my friends, if they want to be that is. I… I don't want to not visit. I just… don't think it's very realistic."

"...Realistic?"

"Yeah. Well, you see, my mother has never really approved of me leaving for no good reason, or getting too close to anyone. I tend to dilly dally and annoy people without realising it."

"I— oh."

"Sorry."

"No! I just… don't think that's actually why she said that, is all."

"Why else would she have said that then?"

"I don't know for sure, of course, but I believe that she didn't have your best interest at heart."

"But she… she had to be tougher on me. I'm really bad at learning my lesson. Like I said, I'm always bothering people."

Indigo hummed disapprovingly. "So you take a bit longer. That just means you take time to enjoy things. And believe me, you really don't annoy people, at least none of us here. Even if you had annoyed someone in town, that's their problem, not yours. I know for a fact that I have never once been annoyed with you."

"Oh… really? I mean, it's okay if you have! I just—"

"Really, I have never been annoyed with you."

"Not yet, anyway."

"Hmm, I think it's true that people, especially people you're close to, can frustrate you, but I truly don't think you could ever annoy me. Who told you that you're annoying?"

"...My mother." Patton winced at the loud sigh Indigo all but huffed.

"I think we've rather established that she's not a good source of judgement."

"But… if I didn't go back… I— where would I even go!?" Patton said, voice full of desperation before he softened it, all but pleading, "I don't have anywhere else."

Indigo's eyes widened. "Ah, actually, I talked to Roman and Virgil, and they're offering to let us live here. I'm… I'm going to take it. Now that I know where I live, I can cancel my lease, and move here. They're going to help me decorate the guest room tomorrow so it'll be mine, and maybe add on another room… depending on if you still want to stay here."

"And you're sure they actually wouldn't mind if I did live here? Like, they didn't just extend the offer to me because they felt like they had to?"

"I'm quite sure that they wouldn't mind, if anything they would love it if you officially moved in. We've all been quite dreading your leaving."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes, and with your… home life situation being what it is, but especially because we'll miss you. You're our friend. We want you to stay. We want you."

Patton's mind blanked and he quickly scrambled to try and think of something, anything to say so he wouldn't just burst into tears, which would, no doubt, make Indigo rethink his position.

Patton blinked a bit quicker than usual and tried to think of a reason why it wouldn't work out. "But… but how will she get around without me?"

"That's not your concern."

"But it is! She's done so much for me. I can't just abandon her!"

"You're not responsible for her, Patton. She is a grown adult that is more than able to take care of herself. Sometimes people stay with their parents a bit after they're grown, during hardship, or near the end of their parents life, but this is more than just that, isn't it? You feel like you need to stay, even though she's… not very kind to you, correct?"

"Well… she has to be tougher on me…" But he didn't sound very certain, it was rather difficult to argue a point that he didn't even believe in anymore.

"No, Patton. She really doesn't. There's no excuse for a parent to be that mean to their child. Ever."

"But… she… she needs me?" He hadn't meant for it to, but it came out like a question.

This was what he so desperately wanted, for someone to want him so bad that they'd fight for him. That they'd try and help Patton understand just why and how they wanted him. So why did he feel the need to try and break it apart? Why was he trying to sabotage himself?

"She—" Patton continued. "She needs me though… right?"

"I hate to say this, but… does she? Does she need you? Or do you need to feel needed?"

"Oh… but— I… Oh." Patton could feel the tears well up in his eyes, and for once, he didn't care.

Indigo gently sat down on the bed next to Patton, who scooted over to give Indigo a bit more room.

Indigo reached a hand out as if to put it on Patton's shoulder but stopped, and before Patton could think anything too self-deprecating, Indigo asked, "May I touch you?"

"Oh, I— yeah. If you want to! You don't have to if you don't want to though."

"I do want to, and merely asked so I would know if you wanted me to."

"Oh, yeah, I… I'd like that. Maybe just…"

"Not too much?"

"Oh, yeah. How'd you…?"

"I'm the same way, and quickly noticed that you also seemed to get overwhelmed with physical contact easily."

Patton sniffed and stiffened at the sound. Right, he'd been crying, yet again.

But Indigo didn't seem fazed in the slightest, just cupping Patton's face with his hands and carefully wiping away Patton's tears with his thumbs.

" 'M sorry," Patton muttered and, despite his words, nuzzled into Indigo's large, warm hands.

"What ever for?"

"Making you have to be here while 'm crying."

"You're not making me be here, I'm here because I want to be. And being here for you while you're crying is not a chore. It's not a burden. You're not a burden. I am choosing to be here and be here for you, so therefore you can't be a burden, because a burden is a heavy thing that's just thrust upon a person. Not a bit of weight that I'm choosing to help you with."

"Oh, I— I didn't know that."

"And that's alright. I'm more than happy to comfort you through words, and, for future reference, even if I've said them before."

"Hmm, maybe then… instead of 'sorry', I should be saying 'thank you'."

The soft smile Indigo gave Patton made his cheek warm and he couldn't help but give a small smile of his own.

"I think that is a much better plan. Actually, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like a very good idea. Instead of apologising when you've done nothing wrong, you can thank the people around you for being there. Brilliant! Did you hear of that somewhere?"

"Oh, um, no. I just like, thought of it just now."

"That's amazing!"

"I— it is?"

"Yes, it quite is."

"Oh… sorry, I guess I'm still not quite used to being prais—"

Indigo raised an eyebrow.

"Er, I mean, thank you. I'm glad you think it's a good idea."

"Good! Like that. Doesn't it feel better? Like a better way to look at the world?"

"Yeah, I think I'm starting to get what you mean. So, let's see, I was going to apologise for being a burden, so instead I should say… thank you for being here."

"Good job! And you're welcome. Thank you for letting me help you."

"Oh! Um, you're welcome?"

Indigo huffed a laugh. "Yes, 'you're welcome' often follows 'thank you'," he teased.

"Just—" Patton tried to stifle a yawn. "Just checking~" Patton yawned, making the last word sound breathy.

Indigo quietly chuckled. "Well, perhaps we should take a small nap before supper then."

"I don't know, it's kinda late, and besides, maybe we should go help with supper."

"Roman put on a roast earlier, and yes, we'll probably eat a bit later but he said it wouldn't be ready for a bit. We have time for a little nap, and you clearly need it. It might offset your circadian rhythm a bit, but I think if you stay up a bit late and perhaps get up a bit late, then you'll be fine."

"Would… um, ar— will you stay?"

Indigo smiled again —Patton had noticed that he seemed to be doing that a lot more lately— and hummed softly. "Of course, I'll stay. As long as you wish for me to stay, then I'll be there for you."

Patton wasn't exactly sure what to say to that, so he didn't, and instead just tried to show his appreciation through his expression.

Indigo took off Patton's and his own glasses, putting them both on the nightstand before he settled down under the covers, and held onto one of Patton's hands.

"I really am glad you're here," Patton confessed, voice small but still heard due to their proximity. "And… and thanks for helping me realise that it was okay to stay. I really didn't want to leave you guys. You're like, my f— really important to me, you know?"

"Yes, I do know. I feel the same way about all of you as well." Indigo brushed a lock of hair that'd fallen into Patton's eyes back, making Patton tiredly smile.

Patton was going to reply but was interrupted by a wide yawn.

Indigo huffed amusedly. "Perhaps you should try and take that nap now."

"Heh, yeah. I did sleep some earlier, but I'm still tired."

Indigo hummed softly. "Yes, crying will do that, but rest easy. You're not going to have to leave when you awake, and we'll all be here in this cottage when you wake up."

Patton sleepily hummed, eyes falling closed as he let his limbs grow heavy, and mind go blank.

And as he drifted off to sleep, he could've sworn he heard Indigo whisper, "Sleep well, my dear." But Patton was far too gone to reply or even fully process it.

…

After Indigo and Patton's nap, they ate their rather late supper with Roman and Virgil. Roman really out did himself, the roast was the best one that Patton had ever had.

Patton still felt a bit tired, but so much lighter, talking to Indigo about Patton getting to stay really helped. And while he still felt guilty about leaving his Mother, he also knew that he couldn't have stayed there much longer, even just for his mental health.

He'd always, rather selfishly, fantasised about leaving, but to have actually done it… it was as freeing as it was terrifying.

After the dishes were washed and dried, they all sat in the living room, bellies full, for their usual after supper chatter.

"Oh, hey," Virgil said, turning to Indigo. "Remus and Janus are coming over tomorrow, by the way."

Indigo instantly perked up. "Really? Oh, that's wonderful! I look forward to it."

"Glad to hear! They've been rather worried. You've been missing for nearly an entire month."

Indigo winced. "Ah, so I have. Hmm, although, now that I'm thinking about it, why haven't they come by before? I mean, of course they wouldn't know that I'm here, but you think in the several weeks I've been here, Remus would want to visit his brother at least once."

"Oh, I've actually seen him three times since your arrival. Janus has been super busy lately, but I met Remus once in Dragon's Park, once in The Rosé café, and once here at home. You didn't see him where he came here because I believe Virgil had taken you and Patton out that day. Also, I guess none of the times you being missing slash appearing just didn't come u— no wait! It did. Oh my gods, I didn't even connect that."

"Really? What did he say about me?"

"That they really missed you, but weren't even sure if you were actually, actually missing, or just went off on an impromptu adventure without telling them again. I offered to help them but Janus had done a danger checking spell, and it said you were as safe as can be."

"Ah, and that was after I had arrived here?"

"Yeah."

"So that would make sense that it'd deem me safe then. What happened after that?"

"Well, since you were safe and you've disappear for a few weeks without warning before, they denied my offer, but said they'd call me if it changed or if it'd been much longer than usual."

"Ah, I see. Well, I'm glad they're coming over tomorrow. I certainly need to apologize for causing them undue distress, and it'll be nice to see them again."

"I'm sure they'll forgive you. They really care about you, ya know?" Virgil asked. "We all do. And besides, it's not your fault. You didn't mean to just disappear for several weeks."

"Well, this time at least."

"Did you really disappear for several weeks without telling them before?" Patton asked in awe.

"On at least two different occasions. I may be inept at magic, but magical objects… and really just magic in general, are attracted to me. I'm not really sure why, but things that whisk me away to the unknown just pop up every so often."

"Well, it worked out this time," Virgil said, "But I'd recommend against stepping into random portals in the future."

"I think I'd have to agree with you on that."

"...Oh, hey." Patton turned to Indigo. "Did you ever figure out what your name is?"

"Well, technically it's Logan, but Indigo as a nickname from close friends would— is…" Indigo adjusted his glasses. "Yes."

Patton couldn't help the small smile that crossed his face. "Okay then, Indigo. It's… I'm very glad we met."

Indigo's smile softened. "And I'm very glad to have met you too." Indigo looked to Roman and Virgil. "All of you."

"Hear hear!" Roman cheered.

"I'm glad we met too!" Virgil said, giving everyone a lopsided smile. "Y'all are pretty damn awesome."

Roman nodded in agreement. "And we wouldn't have you two any other way."

Patton had changed and learned a lot since coming to live here. And by no stretch of the imagination were things perfect, they certainly still had a long way to go, but they were getting there, and they'd get there together.

Patton had found the one thing he'd always wanted, a small community of like-minded —but different in their own unique ways— people.

He'd wanted to be loved and wanted longer than he'd known how to say, and here, amid bright smiles, joyous laugher, and gentle conversation, he'd found that. But not only was he loved and wanted here, but he'd also found people that he loved and wanted.

He didn't have to be alone anymore, and it might take a while, he might even still forget sometimes, but he was actually starting to believe that he meant as much to them as they did to him.

They didn't just want him for what he could do for them. They wanted him around because they liked him, and it really was as simple as that.

He actually felt like belonged there, and he knew that there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

And so, as he was surrounded by his friends, his family, Patton was finally… finally home, and that… well, that was more than enough.

~The End~

No reposting, likes are nice and reblogs are very much appreciated! | Taglist (ask to be added or removed): @someoneiwasnt

#sanders sides #sanders sides fics #my fics #ts logan #tss logan #ts patton #tss patton #ts virgil #tss virgil #ts roman #tss roman #Dragon Witch #the dragon witch #pre romantic logicality #platonic logicality #can be read either way #established prinxiety #dukeceit mentioned

25 notes · View notes

snowe-zolynn-rogers · 4 years ago

Text

Roman, pre-AA: Are you absolutely sure that Anxiety exists? Like, I’ve never seen him outside his room and Thomas’ living room.

Virgil, in a tank top and jeans showing off both of his full sleeve tattoos: Oh really, bitch? I’m off to work, Pat, see you at dinner!

Roman: *stammering and blushing as Virgil leaves*

Logan: Are you alright, Roman?

Roman: *points furiously* BOY HOT!

Logan: Oh you sweet summer child, you’re fucked in more ways than one.

#sanders sides #pre aa virgil #roman sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #romantic prinxiety #prinxiety #incorrect sanders sides quotes #incorrect quotes #source: my brain #tw cursing #tw caps #tw innuendo mention #tw sex mention #tattoos

522 notes · View notes

taxicabinmemphis · 4 years ago

Text

Prince Charming - Chapter 4

chapter one - chapter two - chapter three - chapter four - chapter five - chapter six

Word count - 4,094 Pairing - Intrulogical, Prinxiety (I didn’t plan it, it just kinda happened and I rolled with it), pre Moceit Warnings - some characters are a lil insensitive in spots but I wouldn’t call them unsympathetic, creativitwins angst ig, swearing, food mention, self-deprecation from most sides bc they’re all wrecks, character injury, pining, and then there’s Remus-typical behavior (body horror mentions, sexual innuendo/mentions of sexual stuff, and other stuff heh), if there’s anything else that should be tagged or put in the warnings, tell me!

The six sides and their horses eventually arrived in Azeria. Remus had abandoned his plan that would allow Janus to escape and instead was pondering his best friend’s love life. Logan and Janus were tired of the adventure and wanted to leave, while Patton and Virgil were hoping to finish so they could treat their injuries. The brothers, however, were having fun and expressed no desire to leave.

“Well, we’re here!” Roman stated as they got to the stables. He dismounted.

“Finally,” Virgil muttered under his breath, before dismounting. “Where should I put Sally, Roman?”

“Over there is fine.” He pointed to where Virgil should leave his horse.

All the other sides dismounted and left their horses in the stables. They walked into the castle, entering the tower where they kept the crown jewels.

“Care to do the honors, Patton?” Roman offered, as Patton was currently wearing the backpack which held the jewels.

Patton walked over to the open glass case. He opened the backpack, removed the jewels, and placed them carefully onto a velvet blanket which covered the bottom of the case. Roman closed the case after Patton finished, and Virgil clapped a hand on the fatherly side’s shoulder.

“Good work, Dad,” Virgil praised. “Thanks for carrying the jewels and keeping them safe.”

“Out of our dirty hands, you mean?” Remus teased.

“As a matter of fact, yeah,” Virgil said, malice in his tone.

Janus put an arm around the emo’s shoulders. “Oh come now, Virgil. You’ve beaten us once, we know not to try again.”

“Hmmph,” Virgil huffed, shrugging off Janus’ arm. He glared at him, suspicion evident on his features.

Janus gave a small laugh and turned to Roman. “What happens now, Roman?”

“Does this scenario end?” Logan asked, masking the hopefulness that would otherwise have been clear in his tone.

“There’s so much more we can do in this adventure!” Roman argued.

“We’re already having dinner way later than normal….” Patton objected quietly. “We shouldn’t hold off on it for much longer.”

“Patton is right,” Logan agreed, “we wouldn’t want to eat too late and end up having trouble getting to sleep on time.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “How about we go to the courtyard and clear everything up. You know, finalize what happened and such.”

“That sounds acceptable,” Logan said.

The sides then left the tower, exited the castle, and went to the courtyard, the flowers surrounding it making Patton’s face light up. The pristine white walls of the castle surrounded them fully on one side and partially on two sides, and the grass was a healthy shade of green. The darker, evening sky inhibited a clear look at their surroundings, though the pretty blues and purples above them seemed to make up for it. The sun would set soon, and the six would likely get the pleasure of watching it, depending on how long it took to end the adventure.

“May I sit on that bench?” Virgil asked, pointing to an ivory-colored bench near where they were standing.

“I’d like to as well,” Patton added, raising his arm slightly.

Roman nodded. “Of course. We can talk near the bench.”

Virgil and Patton sat next to each other on the bench. The four others stood in front of it, each of them standing where they could see each other.

“Okay, so we have the crown jewels, Remus and Janus are in custody, Virgil has been released and is now a citizen of Azeria, and us knights are okay. Anything else we should clarify?” Roman said.

“I was given full permission to annoy Logan while in custody.”

Roman rubbed his temples in annoyance. “No. Logan is a valued knight and respected citizen, we wouldn’t subject him to your company.”

Remus laughed. “Logan visits me in prison, then we fuck-”

“Remus!” Patton exclaimed, hitting his arm.

“Sorry, Pat, but yeah.” Remus shrugs. “That’s what happens.”

The sides looked at Logan, whose face was ducked and buried in his hands.

“No, it isn’t,” Roman disagreed firmly. “Anything else?”

“Reptania and Azeria eventually work out their problems and become allies?” Patton suggested.

Roman stared at him for a few moments, blinking a few times before answering. “I mean, sure. We don’t want these crazies in our dungeons for too long. They would get annoying.”

Virgil snorted. “True that.”

Silence surrounded the group.

“Well then,” Janus said, breaking the silence. “It seems that we’re fini-”

“Look,” Patton interrupted with a gasp. “The sunset.”

The five other sides trained their gazes on what Patton was looking at, and their faces all contorted to an expression of surprise and wonder. The sky was painted in a beautiful display of reds, oranges, yellows, pinks, and purples which contrasted with the canvas of dark blue incredibly well.

“Preeeeeeeetty,” Remus commented softly, holding out the ‘e’.

“As pretty as Logan?” Roman mused, glancing at his brother shortly, before returning his eyes to the colorful sky.

Remus’ face pinkened. “As pretty as Virgil?” he shot back with a scowl.

Roman let out a low sound of annoyance, but he left the conversation at that, preferring to appreciate the sunset than argue with his brother.

The sides spent a good five to ten minutes admiring the sunset, Patton making sure to snap pictures.

Janus cleared his throat. “We really should get going, as it seems that we’re finished.”

The others nodded, slowly tearing their eyes from the sky. Roman snapped his fingers and his fellow sides returned to their normal clothes.

“We could’ve just done that instead of changing earlier?!” Virgil asked incredulously.

Roman shrugged. “Not sure. Maybe, but I don’t think so. Who knows? But now you don’t have to struggle with removing chainmail.”

Virgil groaned and threw his head against the back of the bench.

“Next time, Roman, you should play the villain!” Remus said teasingly, leaving the castle grounds and walking towards the door out of the Imagination, his fellow sides joining him. “Bet you’ve never done that before!”

Roman shook his head. “I am a prince, not a villain. And why not let the resident villain play the part? Besides, I’m the only side here who knows how to be heroic, romantic, and charming.”

Remus’ footsteps slowed, but he eventually reached the door, his mood having soured immensely. He left the Imagination, leaving the door ajar behind him.

Patton, Janus, and Logan followed him out the door, Roman walking towards it himself. His hand grasped the doorknob, and he opened the wooden door slightly, only for his efforts to meet an opposing force that stopped the door from opening further.

The prince looked behind him to see Virgil standing there, left hand on the door.

“Hey there, Princey,” Virgil greeted quietly.

“Virgil,” Roman replied, showing clear confusion.

The purple-clad side took a deep breath. “I was hoping we could discuss something.”

Roman’s eyes widened in surprise, his grip on the doorknob slipping. He hardly registered Virgil closing the door after his hand fell to his side. Roman quickly concluded that Virgil’s previous statement was a softened and less anxiety-inducing version of the phrase “we need to talk”.

The realization made his stomach drop.

He followed Virgil away from the door and back over to the courtyard. They stopped at its entrance, and Virgil turned to face Roman.

“Roman, I have a few questions about some of today’s events,” Virgil said slowly. “As you know, I’m anxiety. I pay attention to behavioral red flags and abnormal actions and they will bother me until I get answers. So to spare future Virgil insomnia, could I please get clarification on a few things?”

Roman took a moment before answering. “And...none of the other sides’ behavior bothered you? Just mine?”

“Afraid so, Princey,” Virgil replied with a grimace. “At least when it came to the way they acted with me. Everything with Patton and Janus followed, except for one thing I managed to figure out. And no one else talked with me much.”

“Alright then,” Roman said, clearing his throat. “Fire away, I guess.”

Virgil shifted his feet. “I suppose I should start with the most recent source of alarm...back during the ride from Reptania? We were talking, and I rejected the idea of riding faster due to my soreness, and you said you wouldn’t cause me any harm or some cutesy shit like that, and then you ended up speeding up? I’m not mad by it or anything and I was eventually able to get used to the added pain it caused but I’m still confused by your actions.”

Roman felt a pang of guilt in his chest. Virgil’s sarcasm towards his care for the anxious side had angered him and slightly hurt his heart, so he sped up to be petty. He didn’t take Virgil’s injured state into account when committing the action, but now wished he did.

“Was that nice thing you said before you sped up sarcastic or something? I mean it was very dramatic like sarcasm often is, but you’re extremely dramatic so I thought it was you being you...maybe I read you wrong-”

“No, Virgil,” Roman finally spoke, raising a hand to halt his companion’s spiraling speech. His head was ducked down and he refused to meet Virgil’s eyes. “The comment was sincere.”

“Then why…”

“I…” Roman really didn’t want to answer this question, “I’m sorry. Your sarcasm after my comment wounded me when it really shouldn’t have because you’re such a sarcastic person by nature. I then forgot all about your injuries and sped up to be petty. I’m so sorry Virgil, and I am absolutely disgusted by myself for causing you pain. Especially after declaring I wouldn’t. You must be so angry...so rightfully angry.”

Virgil looked at the prince for a few silent seconds, blinking while he contemplated his dramatic and apologetic exposition. “I...I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was flattered and didn’t know what to say so I reverted to my normal sarcasm. I should’ve realized what I said might hurt you. And...I’m not angry, Princey. I was just confused and maybe a little annoyed.” Virgil paused for half a second, pondering whether or not to say his next words. “Don’t be angry at yourself, or...disgusted. Lashing out without care is normal, especially for someone as passionate as you. I’m fine now, the additional pain has faded, and I’m not annoyed anymore.”

Roman slowly lifted his head and let himself make eye contact with Virgil. “I...But you still suffered, Virgil, at my hand.” Roman clenched his fist and closed his eyes.

Virgil let out a tiny laugh. “Seriously, Roman. I’m fine. I didn’t suffer or anything that dramatic. Stop beating yourself up about it.”

Roman stopped, looking back to Virgil. He took a deep breath. “Okay. I acted insensitively out of anger. It was stupid. I apologize. I understand that you were...wait, flattered?” Roman stopped, remembering what Virgil said earlier.

Virgil’s eyes widened. He forgot he’d said that. “Yeah,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. “‘Your safety is my priority’? ‘I will instigate nothing that will cause you harm’? Those are some pretty sweet words you said there, Roman. I guess it, uh…—” he lowered the volume of his voice, “—made me feel a little special.”

Roman’s face had reddened at Virgil repeating Roman’s declaration from the horseback ride and emphasizing its kindness. But he smiled too. He made Virgil feel special.

“Not to say I’m not aware of how drama and bold declarations of action and emotion are basically your main way of interacting with others,” Virgil started to backtrack, “and maybe it shouldn’t have flattered me the way it did, considering you always act like that, but it did, and I’m sorry it made me say something that hurt you.”

“You needn’t apologize further, Virgil,” Roman said, a fond smile adorning his features. “I am aware of how passionate I am, especially towards you, and I should have considered that before I did what I did. If what I say bothers you, please tell me. I have no desire to hurt you.”

Virgil’s gaze was on the grass from Roman’s offhanded flirtatious comment. “What you say doesn’t hurt me or anything, and I know it’s just you being you. Compliments aren’t something I navigate well either and it’s not like anyone else speaks half as dramatically as you, so if you say something nice, it’s really nice and I don’t know how to respond. That’s all.”

Roman chuckled, the smile staying on his face as he glanced over and internally marveled at Virgil’s lovely facial features. “Hmm, flustered Virgil. Something that seems so alluringly impossible but is existing before my eyes. Truly, a wonderful sight.” Roman’s smile only widened at Virgil blushing, and he got back on topic. “What else did you wish for us to discuss, Virgil? I remember you mentioning that there was more than one worry on your mind.”

“I, uh, yeah,” Virgil said weakly, still bashful from Roman’s words. “Roman...Patton’s hit to my stomach didn’t knock me out. It couldn’t have, to be honest. And I remember everything that happened. Everything that was said.”

Roman frowned. “What are you trying to say here, Virgil?”

“Why were you so angry?” Virgil asked softly, looking into Roman’s eyes. “You were so mad, so incredibly furious at Patton…. No one else was. And you didn’t know the whole story.”

“Virgil…”

“Again, I’m not mad,” Virgil clarified. “Or disappointed, or anything of the sort. I’m just confused. I mean, as soon as you learned Patton was the one who knocked me down, you were so angry! You didn’t even listen to his defense...it took Janus yelling at you and his explanation to shut y-- to stop your anger. Your apology was fine and sincere and Patton understood your actions so, again, I’m not mad. Why were you so angry, though? No one else was. But you were. Why?”

“I…” Roman trailed. “I care about you, Virgil. You know this.”

Virgil’s eyebrows creased. “Is this your way of telling me the others don’t?”

“No!” Roman exclaimed. “I just...didn’t like to see you hurt. My fight with Remus, while it got a bit angry verbally, neither of us were injured. The same happened in Janus and Logan’s sword fight. It was as if there was an unspoken rule that no one should be hurt. I didn’t think that you getting hurt was fair. And so I lashed out at Patton...the person who seemed to break that rule. I know it was wrong to do so as I didn’t have all the information and am very aware of how much he loves and cares for you, but I wasn’t thinking. I was just angry. I apologize. I know how much Patton means to you, and I’m sorry for making him feel bad when he shouldn’t. When he didn’t deserve it.”

Virgil nodded. “I get that, I guess. You don’t need to apologize any more though, you already did. Again, I’m just...shocked that you were the one who got so mad at him….”

“Is that really so hard to believe, emo nightmare?” Roman asked with a smile. “I’m the one in the group who goes after those who I believe have done wrong, I’m the one who doesn’t listen when I should—”

“Roman…”

“—and I’m also the one who tries to valiantly protect people. Not anyone else.”

Virgil chuckled, shaking his head. “You don’t need to protect me, Roman. I’m fight or flight, right? I can do the fight part for myself, you know.”

“Aww, but what if I want to protect you from harm?” Roman teased.

Virgil hit Roman’s shoulder lightly. “You don’t need to. Besides, the harm had already been done.”

Roman chuckled, taking a tiny step closer to Virgil. “Don’t try to stop me from protecting you, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance. There’s nothing you can do about it.”

Virgil snorted. “I can try.”

Roman laughed, shaking his head. “Why can’t you let me show my love for you the way I know how to?” The question was light, joking, casual. It meant next to nothing to Roman when it left his lips.

However, it had the opposite effect on Virgil. He looked down towards his feet, noticing how Roman was four feet away from him. The anxious side didn’t know whether to be happy the creative side couldn’t see his blush or sad he wasn’t closer.

“Y-Your love for me?” Virgil asked quietly, still looking at the grass.

“Of course, my raisin oatmeal cookie. You are my fellow side, my friend, my lovely Incredible Sulk! Don’t we all love you?” Roman replied, more nervous than he let on.

“O-Oh, yeah.”

“And even still, how could anyone not love you?” Roman said with a laugh.

Virgil’s face reddened further. “Can’t be too hard. I seemed to do it without trying.” The nervous side chuckled, approaching the worrisome comment casually, trying to impart sarcasm. He figured a joke would divert any possible attention from his blush.

Roman frowned, looking at the ducked head of Anxiety. “Well, that just won’t do.”

“...What?”

“My wonderful Charlie Frown, we can’t have you not loving yourself,” Roman said, dramatic but soft. He then put his hand under Virgil’s chin and delicately lifted it so he could meet his eyes. He gazed into them, admiring the beautiful shades of purple and green.

“Oh, Princey, it wasn’t that serious-” Virgil started to object, glancing away from Roman.

“No no no,” Roman silenced him, moving his hand from Virgil’s chin to in front of his lips, his index finger pointed up as a signal for him to stop talking. “You have to know how amazing you are, or at least learn.”

Virgil shook his head rapidly. “No. No, no. We are not doing this. It’s not that important anyway. Please don’t do this.”

Roman shook his head. “Do what? Tell you how spectacular you are?” His hand dropped from in front of Virgil’s mouth.

“Spectacular is subjective,” Virgil objected. “But yeah. Don’t do that.”

“Hmm…” Roman seemed to be pondering this. “Considering we are supposed to be talking about other topics, I guess I’ll do so another time, my dazzling Doctor Gloom.”

Virgil exhaled lightly. He was free of compliments for the time being. He didn’t dare argue, as that might cause Roman to take back what he said and say nice things about him. Virgil didn’t think he could take all of Roman’s dramatic sweetness, especially considering it was all platonic...right? He did say ‘friend’….

Roman looked at Virgil, his friend, his former enemy, with overwhelming love in his eyes. While it would be wrong of him to compliment him now, he couldn’t just leave that at that. He had to do something to demonstrate that Virgil should love himself. At least, that he was loved by others.

“Oh, Roman, look.” Virgil’s voice was small with wonder. His eyes left Roman’s and rested on the night sky above them. “The sun has set and the stars are out. There’s so many of them!”

Roman turned his head from Virgil to look. “Indeed. It’s quite beautiful.”

“Yeah…”

“Almost as beautiful as you.”

“You corny son of a bitch!” Virgil exclaimed, whacking Roman’s arm. “You said you’d stop complimenting me. And gosh, even if you still did, that was too cliché.”

“What? You walked right into it,” Roman defended with a shrug. “I’m not wrong either.”

Virgil took a deep breath, repressing his annoyance and a blush that wanted to crawl across his cheeks. “No more, Princey.”

Roman laughed, glancing at Virgil. His eyes lingered on the anxious side and the unique way the stars lit up the face Roman already adored so much.

Virgil glanced at Roman, doing a double take when he noticed the creative side’s eyes already on him. “What is it, Roman?”

Roman chuckled, placing his hand and laying his gaze on Virgil’s jaw, finger grazing over the white foundation that covered the emo’s face. He flicked his eyes up to meet the purple and green ones of his companion. “Oh, Virgil. Sweet Virgil.” Roman could see the red even through the makeup. He took a few steps closer to him. “May I kiss you?”

Virgil’s eyes widened. This was one of, no, the last thing he ever expected to leave Roman’s mouth. He stared at Roman—looking so absolutely majestic in the moonlight, so unbelievably attractive. His prince, his creativity, his talented, charming Roman was asking if he could kiss him.

“Please,” Virgil whispered, the one word laced with clear desire.

Roman smiled widely, looking down at his emo and placing his lips against his. They both closed their eyes, Roman’s hand not leaving Virgil’s jaw and his other arm encircling the purple side’s waist. Virgil wrapped his left arm around Roman’s neck and rested his right hand on the prince’s chest.

The kiss was delicate and so incredibly loving. It was purposeful, but soft. There was no lust but oh so much romance, no need for more but also quite desperate. The kiss wasn’t short—and it seemed just long enough—but it still had the two treat every second of it like precious gold as they savored the other like rich chocolate consumed on a warm evening. It left the two addicted to the other in a way that made sure what had just occurred would happen many more times in the future.

The two pulled away at the same time, letting their lips part so terribly slowly it was as if they were trying to make the most out of the last couple of seconds. Their eyes stayed closed, their arms not moving from where they were positioned on the other, and their faces flushed from the kiss.

Roman opened his eyes first: slowly, and with reluctance. He swept his thumb under Virgil’s closed right eye lightly, across his eyeshadow, and smiled at the beauty that was his emo. A part of him wanted him to lean down and kiss him more but another wanted to watch his radiant romance process what happened.

Roman watched as his purple prince opened his eyes slightly and smiled at him. Roman, already smiling, just looked at Virgil with fond wonder, always thinking the side couldn’t get more attractive and then constantly being proved wrong.

“Was it nice?” Roman asked after a comfortable silence, voice low and quiet. He moved his hand from Virgil’s jaw to brush hair out of his face.

“Nice? No,” Virgil replied at the same volume, sliding his right hand up Roman’s chest and around his neck. “Wonderful beyond words? Definitely.”

Roman put his forehead against Virgil’s, humming as he placed the hand formerly resting on his love’s face around his waist. “It is my sworn duty to make you happy.”

Virgil chuckled. “I suppose I shall have to take that ‘sworn duty’ upon myself in reference to you now, hmm?”

“Oh, my darling, you don’t have to do anything for me except exist happy and healthy in my arms.”

Virgil snorted. “You’re such a sap, you know that?”

“Yes, I do.”

The two stayed where they were in comfortable silence. Admiring the other, admiring the stars in their peripheral vision, relishing the magnificent feeling that came from being in each other’s arms.

“I had another question, you know.”

Roman hummed in acknowledgment.

“Why did you cast me as the cursed prisoner?”

“You were being annoying. Endearingly so, yes, but the fact still stands.”

“I’m always interrupting you with sarcasm,” Virgil said, shaking his head. “You wanted to save me, didn’t you? The prince, rescuing the prisoner. Very ‘damsel in distress’-esque, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Oh, give me a break. Who can blame me for wanting to save you, and what did you expect when I was given the opportunity?”

“It’s fine, Princey,” Virgil stated with a laugh. “It’s cute. Adorable, really. Very romantic.”

Roman groaned and gave his Virgil a kiss on the jawline. “Take it as a way to tell you that I will protect and save you from harm, especially throughout...whatever we have going on here.”

Virgil chuckled. “I can’t wait.”

The two heard the door to the Imagination open, but they didn’t move away from each other.

“Aww, you two,” Patton cooed. “I finished making dinner. Come now, kiddos, we’re already eating way too late.”

Virgil and Roman gave Patton a nod of acknowledgement and gave each other a short and final kiss before heading out of the Imagination.

Prince Charming Taglist - @the-sympathetic-villain @justanotherhumanstuff @thistledown15

Hope you liked the next installment of this fic! Feel free to ask to be on the taglist, if you want.

39 notes · View notes

caruliaa · 4 years ago

Text

okey so i am writing a prinxiety oneshot (its probably not gonna be that long hdfjs) and idk if if im even gonna finish and pist it but if u want me tag u if i do then lmk :3

#Flappy rambles #prinxiety #itll probably be able to be read as either platonic or pre-romantic sjcjsjs

13 notes · View notes

inactiive-shit · 5 years ago

Text

Scary Movies, Safe Arms

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Prompt: Friday The Thirteenth

Warnings: None

Pairing: Pre-romantic Prinxiety

@sanderssidescelebrations Well, well well, this is what I have to offer this day. I don’t usually write Prinxiety, not my ship of choice, but it just felt right for this one. I hope I did the ship justice. Here we go:

To say Roman was apprehensive would be a massive understatement. The understatement of the century - no! the millenia, in fact. Of course, telling that to anyone would be absolutely ludicrous and he would never tarnish his very own reputation that way.

The thing was: it was Movie Night. Normally, this was a very good thing, a very happy thing that everyone rejoiced in. The Problem was that October had been underway for a while now and Virgil had been begging for a Scary Movie Night since September. Obviously, he desired one very badly if he was willing to push the subject so often. And if it had been anything else, Roman would have been delighted to acquiesce. He would have put aside his own discomfort without a second thought so that Virgil could have this with them.

But it had to be scary movies.

The last time Roman had hung around when a scary movie was on, he had been ten years old. He’d seen the possessed person and the awful things happening and immediately decided that he would not be watching any of that, no thank you, have a good day. And despite leaving the room, he’d still had nightmares to such a degree he had started sleeping in Remus’s bed instead of his own again. Which, to be fair, may have made it worse.

So he’d been subtly fighting against this ever since Virgil had brought it up. He’d been fighting for everyone except himself. Patton would be terrified beyond imagining! Logan would not be able to immerse himself in the movies as he liked to because they were so unrealistic! There really was, Roman insisted, not much of a market for those movies here.

But after weeks of asking, Patton had relented. He’d said they probably weren’t that scary anyway, so sure, he’d try one, kiddo! And days later, Logan had sighed begrudgingly and admitted that they probably weren’t that much worse off than any other movie - and especially the animated ones that Roman and Patton tended toward.

Which left Roman, floundering for excuses.

The day after Logan agreed, Roman buckled his boots extra tight and prepared to admit defeat.

“I suppose,” Roman said, as dramatic as he could be to hide the shake in his voice, “that we can have a Scary Movie Night. Nerd and Padre don’t seem to mind and who am I to deny something so simple? But just one,” he added quickly. “It wouldn’t be a Movie Night without a musical.” And, well. The smile that lit up Virgil’s face might very well be worth going sleepless for a few weeks. He jumped up to give Roman a hug, something that rarely happened because he disliked having too much contact, and then he went off for breakfast rambling faster than ever before about all the movies he thought they should watch.

Roman breathed quietly, listening to Virgil. This could be worth it. This would be worth it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

This was not in any realm worth it.

They were not more than fifteen minutes in and the music alone was enough to make Roman feel like he was going to explode. He felt like something was going to creep out from under the couch and grab him and he knew that was ridiculous because he was always the one to do monster checks for them all when they were little. Had the living room always been so dark with the lights off, or was he imagining that? Were the curtains moving in the air conditioning or was there something over there? Was the cold current running over his feet from the vent, or were they all about to die?

Suffice it to say, at the very first jump scare, Roman was out for the count. He flung himself into the closest person - Virgil, warmer and stronger than he looked like he’d be - and shook his head wildly.

“Nope. Nope. I tried, I failed, I can’t do this, can we please stop?” Almost instantaneously, the movie paused and the lights were coming on. He didn’t know who had braved the dark of their apartment to reach a light switch or lamp, but he was eternally in their debt. And he’d tell them that right after he could breathe again.

“Woah, Princey? Are you alright? It’s okay,” Virgil muttered into his hair and Roman felt so incredibly stupid now because this really should not have been such a big deal and he was ruining this event Virgil had wanted for over a month now and he really just needed to calm down.

“What’s wrong?” Virgil asked, hand rubbing his back. It was much more of a comforting motion than it should have been considering just seconds ago he was ready to jump out of his skin if something touched him.

“I-” Roman stopped, pulled back from Virgil. He was ashamed. This was not the heroic Prince he always claimed to be. “Nothing, I’m sorry.”

“Roman, don’t lie,” Patton said from his other side. “The only way to get help with a problem is talk about it.”

“Yeah, Princey,” Virgil agreed. “Whatever it is, it’s fine. You just gotta say something.” He hesitated. Surely Virgil would be upset if Roman admitted the truth-the thing Virgil loved, Roman despised. “Come on,” Virgil said. “Spill.” Well, it was worth a try, if nothing else.

“I do not like scary movies,” Roman said, voice small. “I thought I could watch the one and it would be fine, but it appears that is not the case. I am very sorry, Virgil. I know how much you have been looking forward to this, and I-”

“Stop apologizing,” Virgil said quickly, flustered. “Don’t-don’t apologize for being scared. That’s-uh, that’s the whole point of the movies, Ro, and it’s not for everyone.” Virgil ran a hand through his hair. “I wouldn’t have brought it up so much if I’d known. Really. You only ever said anything for Patton and Logan and I figured you didn’t really care, which, yeah, that’s avoidance 101.” He shook himself. “It’s fine. We can put on a Disney movie or-or whatever you want to watch.”

“But you’ve been wanting to do this so badly,” Roman said.

“And it’s something I can do in my own time. And god knows Remy is always down for staying up way later than we should be.” Virgil smiled-er, maybe something closer to a half-smile or a smirk, but the point remained that he was being really nice and understanding about all this. “I would never ask you to do something that made you feel bad,” he said quietly. “You guys have never asked it of me, either. It’s fine if scary movies aren’t our thing, Princey. We have plenty of other things.”

Roman sighed. “Still, I’m sorry for ruining this.”

“Don’t be. And you didn’t. You tried to do it and that is honestly a whole lot when you’re scared. Now, c’mere.” Virgil opened his arms. Roman stared. “Don’t make me sit like this all night, Princey Charming.” Roman curled carefully into Virgil, and Vrigil’s arms wrapped around him securely. He actually, against his common sense, felt much safer like this. “What movie?”

“Frozen?” Roman suggested.

“We can do that,” Virgil said. The lights flicked back off and Logan switched the movies. Roman relaxed considerably the longer he laid with Virgil, and eventually, movies later with Virgil seeming just as content with Disney as he had been before and the guilt receding from Roman’s conscious, Roman fell asleep in Virgil’s arms, more comfortable than any bed he had ever been in and, well, maybe scary movies were good for one thing.

#sanders sides #ts roman sanders #ts virgil sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #ts roman #ts virgil #ts creativity #ts anxiety #my writing #my fanfiction #ts fanfiction #ts fanfic #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #pre romantic prinxiety #spooky month #scary movies safe arms

57 notes · View notes

prince-rowan-of-the-forest · 1 year ago

Text

We'll Save You (1/4)

----

Janus finds himself stumbling into problems like one stumbles over rocks on the road, except some problems are a little worse than others.

But when he finally stumbles into someone who isn't like everyone else Janus' had met so far in this unforgiving world, he thinks that maybe there is some merit to the world after all.

----

| Ao3 | Next Chapter -> |

Fic Warnings: implied + referenced abuse/torture. trauma, an oc character generally being creepy. referenced past starvation

Pairings: pre-established prinxiety, pre-romantic anaroceit.

Word Count: 4054

Notes: Hellloooo @anaroceitweek day 1 here - yes I'm tagging myself and participating in my own event shut up.

Ao3 is down so I can't post on there just yet, but I will later! So! Yeah!

My plan is to continue this fic with a few of the other prompts from this week if I can get the writing done in time, but I might not lol, they may be late. I really want to draw Roman from this au after I described him-

Also I'm flying by the seat of my pants for this fic (wtf does this phrase actually mean lmao) so I have planned NOTHING lol

----

“Hello there little one,” said a whispering voice in the back of Janus’ mind that sent shivers down his spine. He ignored it, resolute, you weren’t supposed to talk to the voices in the forest, “My my, aren’t you far from home?”

Janus growled in the back of his throat, pushing forward. If he didn’t acknowledge the creepy voice speaking straight into his brain, then it would go away and leave him the hell alone.

“What is such a little thing like you doing here in our woods anyway?” The voice sounded thoughtful, and Janus could almost picture a being putting a finger to their chin in curiosity with it.

He shook his head to get rid of the image and kept walking at his almost-too-quick pace, pushing back a branch, ducking under another one, stepping over the poisonous plant, keep going.

“Careful where you step,” The voice crooned, almost mocking, Janus couldn’t resist the urge to glance around at the area. No one was there, he glared at the empty space anyway.

“Why such a look, little one? I’m only trying to help,” The voice said, growing a little louder and slightly more persistent, the tone was almost a whine, but somehow Janus could tell that whatever was talking to him wasn’t genuinely upset.

“Shut up,” Janus muttered, pulling out a compass as he stopped for a moment, he groaned, finding he’d gone off course a little, turning and heading in the right direction.

“You shouldn’t be here,” The voice seemed to tease, “The woods are no place for a little mortal like you.”

“Yeah, well, don’t really have a choice do I,” Janus hissed at the empty forest around him, before slapping a hand over his mouth and sighing. Well, now he’d done it.

“Oh how precious!” The voice seemed to laugh, “What are you running from, little one?”

“Nothing,” Janus snapped, “None of your business, whatever you are.”

“But it is my business, see,” They said voice punctuated with a cackle that had Janus paling, “Because you just stepped into my circle!”

“What,” Janus whispered, panicked now as he heard a whooshing breeze and suddenly the voice was gone. He looked around him, alarmed, to find that he was in fact standing in a circle - of pink and yellow flowers and mushrooms. He cursed, looking around again, this was a fairy circle, and he was stood in the centre of it.

A strong, icy breeze whipped through the forest, tugging at his cloak and hair before settling again. Janus needed to get out of this circle before… but he couldnt’ seem to move his damn feet.

“What a surprise!” Someone said behind him, the voice sounded eerily similar to the one that had been speaking in his head, “Why, I haven’t had a visitor in years, welcome to my circle, little one.”

“Let me g-” Janus hissed, turning around only for his jaw to drop, the word he was speaking being cut off halfway through.

Standing mere inches behind him was a person who could only possibly be fae. They smiled at him, the look on their face was something that might have been inviting, possibly even warm, if he took it at face value.

Instead, he saw the undertones, something unnerving, and almost sinister.

“Won’t you rest, little one, you’ve had such a long journey,” They said, cupping his face with their hand, he could already feel himself sinking to the ground, compelled by the siren-like melody of their words, “Yes that’s right, just rest, and tell me, what is your name, little one?”

Janus opened his mouth to reply, to answer, despite every part of him screaming no, to stay awake, to keep his name locked close to his chest. As his vision went black, he knew he wasn’t lucky enough to be so strong-willed.

—-

Running.

He was running.

Where to? He didn’t know, where from? He shuddered to think.

His legs burned, the muscles screaming at him to stop, to rest, take a break, his mind whispered. He couldn’t take a break, if he stopped they would catch him and bring him back. His lungs burned too, every breath feeling like sandpaper in his throat, he kept going despite, kept pushing as he flew through the forest, the trees and the grass and plants barely able to hold him back for a second.

It wasn’t the same forest he had been in all those years ago when he’d been escaping something that felt so far away from him now. So inconsequential and yet still able to shoot another bolt of adrenaline down his spine. He kept running.

No, this wasn’t the same forest. This one was luscious, almost too saturated - enough to hurt Janus’ eyes if he looked close for too long. This forest was filled with critters he didn’t know how to name, that he’d never seen before. It was filled with floating orbs of light that kept his path glowing ahead of him even as night began to fall.

Janus ran until he crashed into something solid. His eyes were starting to blur from exhaustion at that point, and when he hit… whatever he had run into… his legs buckled and he simply sank to the floor, trying to pull air into his lungs. He didn’t know how far he had gotten, he only remembered the last stretch of the journey. But he felt like he had been running for hours.

Someone was speaking, and Janus felt a dull stab of panic in his chest, someone was here, would they take him back? Had they come for him?

He tried to push himself up so he could run again but found he could barely even push himself up from the ground. When his arms gave out and he collapsed again, he was caught by an arm, a strong, warm arm, that pulled him into some kind of hold. His mind was too hazy and tired to really register what was happening as he was lifted into the air and carried away.

—-

“What the fuck is that.”

“A mortal!” Roman said, “I think.”

“You think?” Virgil hissed, pacing, “You just- You just brought in what you think is a mortal? To our house?”

“It ran into me!” Roman protested, “And then collapsed - and it looked so scared, I couldn’t just - leave it, Virge, you know that.”

“Well what are we supposed to do with it now?” Virgil said, gesturing widely to the mortal who lay sleeping in their shared bed. He wasn’t in the best shape, not by a long way. He was scrawny, with barely any meat on his bones. He wore clothes that covered his arms and legs, though they were ripped in places and too big. Knotted, messy blonde hair covered their still tense face.

Roman took a deep breath, “I supposed we… look after it?”

“You’re serious?” Virgil said, groaning, “Why don’t we just drop it outside of the nearest fairy circle back into the mortal world?”

“Virge,” Roman said sternly, “First off, I think it’s a he? We’ll have to ask when it- he- wakes up, second, we don’t know where he came from, or how long he’s been here - we can’t just drop him off in the mortal world! He might be centuries and miles away from when he came in!”

“So?” Virgil said, crossing his arms, “Since when was that our problem?”

“Shush,” Roman hissed, raising a hand, “I think he’s waking up!”

“Ro- what-” Virgil hissed back as Roman rushed over to the bed, watching the mortal intently as he slowly blinked open his eyes. There was a moment of silence - so much so that even the room seemed to be holding it’s breath - before the human finally noticed Roman.

And Virgil felt such a strong bolt of fear surge through the room that he almost doubled over - a hand to his chest. The human scrambled from the bed, backing into the corner of the room on shaky legs and putting as much distance between himself and Roman as he could.

Roman went to step closer, before Virgil intervened, grabbing the back of Roman’s blouse and dragging him back a few steps all while breathing heavily.

Being able to feel other being’s fear was a useful power, but when it was so strong that it almost hurt it made Virgil wish he could turn it off.

Virgil wondered what had happened to this human to make him so scared.

“He’s terrified,” Virgil whispered to Roman, before letting him go.

“Of what?” Roman asked, eyes wide.

“You, I think,” Virgil said, “Maybe me too, not sure.”

“Stay away-” The human said raising a hand when Roman turned back to look at him, “What- do you want from me?”

Roman considered, for a second, before taking a deep breath, “Nothing.”

The mortal seemed shocked by that. Shocked enough to near collapse against the wall, ending up sitting on the plush carpet in the corner of the room.

“...Nothing?” He asked, voice small.

“I didn’t bring you here to take from you,” Roman told him, trying to keep his voice soft but firm, Virgil remained silent, watching the exchange over Roman’s shoulder, “I brought you here so you could rest safely, that is all.”

“You’re not… you’re not with them?” The mortal asked.

“Who’s ‘them’, sweetie?” Roman asked gently, before sharing a worried glance with Virgil.

“The ones who gave me these,” The mortal said, sounding almost sad, though Virgil could still feel the fear radiating from him. Moments later he brushed his hair from his face, holding it back so that Virgil and Roman could see the marks imprinted there.

Virgil gasped, covering his mouth with a hand. On the left side of the mortal’s face - from hairline to chin - was what looked like scales. Virgil knew better, though, the mark only looked like scales.

“Vee,” Roman whispered, “You look pale.”

“That-” Virgil started, before looking at the mortal, who shrank back under his gaze and let the hair fall back into place, once again covering the mark, “That’s a brand, Ro.”

“What?” Roman yelped, “I thought those…”

“Weren’t a thing anymore? Yeah, so did I.” Virgil said, glaring at nothing, though the mortal shrunk back just a little more - probably because of his tone.

Roman took a deep breath and nodded. “Of course, we need to… find out who did this-”

“A noble of the winter court,” Virgil answered, voice coming out a near hiss, “I recognise her mark.”

“Don’t send me back there,” The mortal spoke up, before slapping a hand over his mouth when both faeries turned to look at him, “Please.”

“No,” Roman shook his head, “I don’t think we will, right, Vee?”

“No, we won’t send you back there,” Virgil agreed, “whatever cruelty you have experienced under her will not follow you here.”

Roman hesitated, before tugging on Virgil’s sleeve to get his attention, before whispering, “You know we’ll be killed if she finds out we have him here, right?”

“You think I don’t know that?” Virgil sighed, “Buh… knowing that she had him- I can’t send him away knowing that.”

“Okay,” Roman nodded, “then we need to figure out what to do.”

“Of course,” Virgil said, looking back at the mortal, “Hey uh- is it okay with you if we ask a few questions?”

The mortal stared at him and Virgil could feel his fear strengthen the longer they looked at each other, eventually he concluded that he wasn’t going to respond.

“Do you… not want to talk to me?” Virgil asked, frowning, the human nodded slowly, “Is it because… I’m winter?”

He stared at Virgil for a long moment, before whispering, “You- feel like she did…”

“Okay, yes, probably because I’m winter, then,” Virgil mumbled, “Would you rather talk to Ro?”

Virgil gestured to their partner who waved with a smile.

“Okay,” The mortal said eventually.

“Would you like me to leave?” Virgil asked.

“Please?” the mortal responded, Virgil nodded. He patted Roman’s arm before turning and leaving the room without another world.

—

“Okay,” ‘Ro’ said as soon as the other one left the room. All Janus’ attention was suddenly on the faerie in front of him. He was tall, with golden skin and hair like a bright bonfire. His eyes were like pools of liquid silver - not even mentioning the tawny wings on his back, similarly coloured feathers in place of ears too. He was… beautiful, and had a very different presence than the other faerie he was with, and… her.

Janus tried to take a few breaths, he needed to answer the faerie’s questions if he wanted to get through this alive - and he had to answer them correctly if he wanted to get out of this without being hurt.

“First,” He said, “Are you a uh- I don’t know mortal gender terms-?”

“A man,” Janus answered the question he was pretty sure Ro was asking, before continuing when the faerie tilted his head, blinking in confusion, “um, I use ‘he/him’ pronouns?”

“Wonderful, that’s what we assumed,” Ro nodded, Janus relaxed just a little, okay, that was the right answer then, “Now, do you have something you’d like to go by? Something we can call you?”

Janus tensed, he knew the question would come up, but that didn’t mean he liked it any more. Giving his name to a faerie was a mistake he’d made once, and he knew that as soon as he did it was all over. Ro would be able to control him, it would be just like before all over again. Of course, that was why they hadn’t hurt him yet - it all made sense, how nice they had been, they needed his name to use him.

He must have hesitated for too long, though, because Ro frowned, “Just a nickname, sweetheart, I’m not asking for your true name.”

“You’re… not?” Janus asked hesitantly, he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to ask questions in return, but… he needed to know.

“I’m not,” Ro nodded, folding down to sit cross-legged on the plush carpet across the room from him, “Your true name is to be freely given to those you trust, and I know you don’t trust me yet.”

Janus didn’t say anything to that for a moment, he didn’t acknowledge that second statement at all, though he was sure Ro knew it was true, “...Deceit - you can call me, Deceit, or Dee if you want.”

“Okay Deceit,” Ro said, smiling, and oh how charming was that, “You can call me Ro, or Prince, my partner is Vee, or Anxiety, if you prefer a more formal nickname.”

Janus nodded, Prince and Anxiety, he could remember that.

“Next question, how… old are you?” Prince asked, “No- that’s a useless question the numbers mortals use mean nothing to me, um, are you of maturity?”

“What uh- what do you mean?” Janus asked, frowning in confusion.

Prince sighed, “Are you - an adult? Or a youngling?”

“Oh,” Janus said, “An adult, I um - when I was - taken - I was 24 but… I don’t know how long it’s been.”

“That’s okay.” Prince nodded, “And good to know, next question, what’s your favourite colour?”

…Out of all the questions Prince had asked him so far, this was the one that surprised him the most. Why on earth would the faeries want to know what colours he enjoyed? Surely that information was useless?

“Yellow,” Deceit answered truthfully - he had learned quickly that lying to a faerie was one of the biggest mistakes a mortal could make, “And, um, I like black too.”

“Brillant,” Prince grinned, revealing teeth slightly sharper than average, “I’m partial to a nice red, myself, preferably crimson but I do like a lovely scarlette as well - Anxiety tends to be more drawn to purples, what’s your favourite animal?”

“...snakes?” Janus said slowly, his favourite animal was something he’d never particularly had to think about - especially not recently.

Prince nodded, seeming… thoughtful. About what, Janus had no clue, but he seemed to be lost in whatever thoughts he was having. Eventually, he went to say something else before cutting himself off with a displeased hum and a frown.

“Is everything… okay?” Janus asked, trying to work out what was going on. Prince had been all smiles almost the entire time since Anxiety had left, the abrupt change had his guard straight back up.

Prince took a deep breath, the wings on his back shuddering and stretching out a little with it, Janus couldn’t help the way the feathers caught his eye - they looked incredibly soft.

“She probably gave you faerie food, right?” Prince asked, Janus paled as hazy memories flooded his mind, a hunger that turned to sharp pain that turned to a hollow emptiness that had almost killed him. Right at the beginning before he lost whatever fight he had then he’d resisted, getting up after every kick or burn, She’d punish him every time he refused to eat, and eventually - when he’d been too weak from hunger and pain to even move - he’d given in and taken the apple she’d offered him.

He still remembered how she had laughed when he’d bitten into it. He could almost hear it now, crisp as footsteps in snow but crackling like lightning.

Janus couldn’t say anything around the lump in his throat those memories brought with them, instead he simply nodded sadly. Prince frowned in sympathy, his hand twitching as though he wanted to reach for Janus, though he didn’t move closer.

“And you know what that means?”

Sucking in a deep breath, Janus recited what had been drilled into him a thousand times, “That I cannot leave this realm, I can never return home and that I belong now to the fae and the faerie realm.”

Prince sighed again, seeming sad, “You can leave.”

“What?” Janus asked, eyes wide.

“Theoretically, you’re not actually bound to this land, but… all it means is that mortal food won’t satisfy you anymore. You don’t have to stay here, but you do need faerie food, so… it’s an effective way to keep mortal trapped.”

Janus couldn’t do much but nod. He never knew that, but if he couldn’t survive without food from Faerie was there really point in escaping anyway?

“Was there anything in particular you liked?” Prince asked sadly, as if he actually cared that Janus was stuck here, which Janus couldn’t fathom being true, he knew faeries couldn’t lie, but he was sure they could fake emotions. Panic seeped in as he realised he didnt have an answer. The food she gave him was good, but he always felt dirty eating it, it always made him guilty and sick. He was never able to really enjoy any of it.

“I don’t…” Janus started, trailing off, “I don’t know… I was never allowed to…”

Prince raised a hand to cut him off and Janus shrank back into the corner just a little, pulling his knees up closer to his chest, Prince sighed, “It’s okay, we can try things and figure it out, are you alright?”

Janus nodded, trying to relax just a little in his corner.

“I will warn you now, neither I nor my partner know much about mortals, but we will- actually,” Prince paused, considering for a second, “Do you know about promises?”

“Fae promises?” Janus asked, Prince nodded, “Just that they’re binding- like deals- she tried to make me make them.”

“Did you?”

“No,” Janus said. Prince seemed to fully droop in relief.

“I want to make a promise to you,” Prince said, slowly, clearly watching for Janus’ reaction, he just stayed still, staring right back, “I promise that I will not intentionally cause you harm, physically or emotionally, in any way. I promise to protect you to the best of my ability against anything or anyone who threatens you, and- I swear that you will be safe here, in my home, for as long as you wish to remain.”

Janus gasped as the feeling of magic washed over him, though it felt nothing like the magic he’d experienced before. This magic felt like a summer shower, warm and light. It wrapped around him, feeling almost comforting in it’s presence. When the sensation died down Janus thought he could smell woodsmoke.

“How do you know I’m worth such a promise?” Janus asked quietly, unable to keep the astounded look off of his face. Roman had promised not to hurt him, and he knew how promises worked, did that mean he was safe? From Roman, at least, Anxiety hadn’t made such a promise.

“Because you have been hurt,” Roman said, “By one of my own kind, you have suffered and you are scared and you deserve to be safe, you should be allowed to heal, besides, you are a guest in my house, it would be horrifically rude if I let something bad happen to you.”

Roman’s wings flared out as he spoke, as though him being rude is the worst possible offence he could commit. Janus couldn’t help but smile, wondering if maybe this wasn’t going to end quite as horribly as he may have expected. Roman stood up, slowly taking a step closer to Janus, and when he didn’t flinch back he took another. Janus frowned when Roman extended a hand to him, but eventually reached up and took it, telling himself again that Prince had promised not to hurt him.

With a gentle tug Janus was hoisted to his feet, though almost immediately he tripped - his legs still jelly-like and shaking from all the running. Instead of falling to the ground, though, Janus tripped forward into Roman’s chest. He yelped and pushed himself away as quickly as he could without falling straight to the ground. Prince was still holding his hand - and now was also stabalising him with a hand on his shoulder - and even despite what had just happened, the faerie was still smiling. He actually looked a little like he was trying not to laugh.

“Lets get you somewhere you can rest, shall we?” Prince said, still actively trying not to chuckle as Janus frowned at him, “And we’ll get you some food while you do.”

“Okay,” Janus nodded eventually, feeling a yawn bubble up inside of him and repressing it as much as he could. He had become a master of hiding when he was tired, fatigue was never taken kindly. But Prince was telling him to rest, so maybe he could lie down for a short while…

The small part of the house Janus got to see as they travelled from the bedroom he had woken in to a second bedroom was immense. The ceilings were tall and vaulted, decorated with patterns and murals that looked hand-painted. The windows that adorned the hallway were open wide, letting in a cool, refreshing breeze scented with summer flowers while deep, floor length, maroon curtains swayed in the wind. The decor was a mix of reds and purples, with accents of silver and gold. Despite the size of the space, it almost felt… cozy. The carpet beneath their feet was clean but well trod, like this area of the house was frequented often.

In comparison, the room he was led to was plain and felt spacious in a way that made Janus feel a little uncomfortable. Paranoia poking at the edges of his mind as he glanced around. There were a few doors, one that he could see lead to a balcony and the other that they’d come through, as well as two more that lead who knows where.

The room was decorated to the bare minimum, a plain white bedspread with a few decorative red cushions. The walls were still adorned with silver and gold, but the patterns seemed more simple and muted in here than they were outside. Prince lead him to the bed - where he found the sheets were wonderfully soft and felt lovely against his skin - and told him to rest.

So rest he did, once Prince had left the room and the door clicked shut - he listened for a long moment and was surprised to hear no lock, he really wasn’t trapped here - Janus finally laid down, clutching one of the decorative pillows to his chest as he tried to fall back to sleep.

----

General tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @reptilianrapscallion420 @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

----

#sanders sides #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #anaroceit #anaroceitweek2023 #sanders sides fanfiction #fanfic

32 notes · View notes

majoringinclownery · 6 years ago

Text

hey so virgil totally wears nail polish right? it’s just part of his dark stormy aesthetic. Anyway, the other sides assume that the messy state of his nails is done on purpose to improve his chaotic vibe and appearance, so they never question why his nails, even when freshly painted, are messy and often spill over onto the skin of his fingers.

What virgil never tells them, though, is that he doesn’t do it on purpose. Prior to episode AA, virgil didnt trust them enough to mention that, as much as he wishes to have clean and well-painted nails, he can’t because his hands shake too much. All the stress and anxiety that virgil has to deal with causes his hands to shake, making it basically impossible to paint his nails and have them look professional. And as time goes by and virgil remains isolated from the others, the tremors just get worse.

But then episode AA happens, and suddenly the others are trying to make sure that virgil feels like he’s part of the family. The shaking doesn’t entirely go away, but it isn’t as bad as it had been in the days leading up to his “ducking out”. As time passes, the others are slightly confused that, while virgil has taken on a softer appearance that, while still angsty and emo, also displays a softer and more gentle side of him with its purples and less ragged appearance- but the nails remain as chaotic and messy as ever. They decide not to question it though, as patton reasons that they don’t want to pressure virgil and make him feel nervous.

virgil, on the other hand, can’t help but feel envious of roman’s nails, which are constantly painted with a new pattern in glittering golds and silvers and reds. So, after a couple weeks of trying to bolster his confidence just enough so that he can approach roman, virgil finally finds himself knocking on the door to roman’s room one late evening. Roman is surprised, to say the least, when virgil manages to mumble out his request, but ultimately the creative side is thrilled and practically drags virgil into his room. They sit on the floor as roman paints virgil’s nails, disney music playing softly in the background while roman coaxes virgil into conversation. this is the beginning of their friendship (or more, whatever floats your boat [haha get it?? boat like ship??? haha ignore my stupid sense of humor]) and it quickly becomes a ritual to do their nails together and whatever other beauty ritual that roman can convince virgil to participate in (which is actually easier than roman had expected, and he is just ecstatic). Roman eventually manages to convince virgil to try out some purple and silver polish, and the two have fun experimenting with the colors and patterns together.

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #thomas sanders #sanders sides #prinxiety could be platonic or pre romantic whatever floats ur boat my dudes #i just love virgil #and roman #and all the boys

2K notes · View notes

on-the-virge-of-crumbling · 6 years ago

Text

A Masquerade

Written for @sanderssidesspook ‘s Halloween (Spooky Month) prompt list. Immediately I wanted to write and project onto Virgil but I want to write all of these so that they fit the character that best fits the prompt and my interpretation. I also want to involve everyone, so with that, we start with Princey.

Summary: Halloween is quickly approaching and with it’s nearing start the festivities. Roman Prince is invited to a Masquerade by his cousin and he readily accepts. Roman is an extravagant and proud young man and he feels the need to go out and make something of himself, make himself known, and to go to a merry Halloween party at the beginning of October? Why, that seems like a marvelous chance even if it doesn't go exactly as planned.

Pairing(s)/Relationship(s): Possible Pre-LAMP, Pre-Prinxiety, Pre-Logicality / None

Warning(s): insecurities (,Unedited dumpster fire, a lot of filler, just all and all actual trash)

Word Count: 6,102 (Six-thousand one-hundred and two)

Prompt: Costume Party (Day 1)

Human AU

<<-------------------->>

A clearing in a dense forest, the tips of the trees painted with fading golden light as the sun set and the trunks illuminated by the flickering glow of fireflies and luminescent mushrooms as they simultaneously sprung to life. The foliage was viridian and lush, the wide clearing’s lime grass soft and short. Creatures shuffled out of the treeline, white doe and jackrabbits stumbling into sight with their large innocent eyes blown wide and curious. The sky was quickly darkening, the clouds like a watercolor of yellow and pink as the blue of the sky deepened and riddled itself with twinkling stars. A lake was situated at the center of the clearing, it’s pure waters rippling and the grass around its edges colored a pristine white. It twinkled with the stars, it’s gentle tides lapping at the white grass and dancing in its own pools. The creatures were as mesmerized as he, a jackrabbit hopping towards the lake’s enticing waters and encouraging his fellow wildlife to do the same. Soon enough the clearing was covered in small, white-furred fauna. A white doe trotted over to the lake and began to lap up the water with its navy blue tongue, the jackrabbits chasing each other playfully as the moon made itself known in the sky. Wolves came from the woods, they too white-furred, but they did not make a move to hurt all the easy prey prancing about, rather, they began to play amongst themselves; howling yipping and joyously jumping. The lake seemed to glow in the lunar light, the white grass swaying in an invisible breeze and reaching for the stars. He wished to reach those stars, too, to live amongst them and become his own brilliant constellation one would excitedly look for in the night sky. He could be admired, loved, and sought out.

The Moon’s rays made the lake sparkle, lake’s waters rippling and swirling gracefully as-

Roman’s eyes fluttered open, the last wisps of his dream dissipating in his mind as he took in his familiar ceiling. His white ceiling stood out in comparison to his royal red walls, his furniture all in white with golden accents just so it all looked put together and planned; not a thing out of place. On the wall, right above his cushion headboard, a big, brilliant golden crown was boldly painted. Roman took in a deep breath and held it, letting his eyes shut for but a moment as he listened to his phone blare on his nightstand. He had, evidently, forgotten to put it on silent earlier that night and now he was, probably, being woken up at an ungodly hour such as this. The sun had yet to rise so it must’ve still been late, his ruby curtains not at all glowing with the light of the sun as they did every morning.

The call had to have been important if it was coming in at... Roman opened his eyes and exhaled slowly as he turned to look at his basic, red digital clock situated on his pristine white nightstand. 3:41 a.m. Who in the world was calling him at 3:41 in the morning. He needed his beauty rest and this, this, was treason. With an exaggerated groan Roman rolled himself over and dramatically flung his arm out so he could grab his phone settled right in front of his clock. He dragged the phone off the table, his face buried in his pillow, and slid his thumb across the screen without even a glance before shoving the device to his ear. “This had better be important,” He grumbled sourly, voice low, muffled, and slightly gravelly from the few hours of sleep he’d managed to catch so far.

“Oh honey, come on, it’s early,” The familiar energy of his cousin’s voice filtered into the otherwise silent room, “Besides, this is something I think you’ll be interested in.” Roman rolled over once again, his gaze flicking over the tiny, memorized details of his pristine ceiling. Remy knew how to play him, keeping the information just out of reach and arousing intrigue. The sound of loud sipping blared from his phone, Roman instinctually flinching away from the obnoxious noise that just shattered his eardrum with a scowl.

“Remus,” Roman huffed, draping his arm over his eyes and resisting the urge to groan as loud as he could manage. The call of sleep was a tempting one but his attention had been snatched up by Remy and if he didn’t find out what in the world Remy was talking about he was certain it’d keep him up all night. The satisfaction that bloomed in his mind, however, when Remy groaned at the use of his full name was almost worth the exhaustion. “Get on with it, will you? I love you dearly but I would like to get back to sleep sometime this century.” Roman removed his arm from his face and tangled his hand in his hair. He wondered what the stars looked like right now. If they sparkled nearly as bright as the ones in his dream had. A glance out his window would prove nothing, light pollution draining the natural light from the sky, but he wished to see the galaxies. The large, romantic part of him imagined looking up at constellations and hoping his true love was out there somewhere looking at the same sky, admiring the same stars.

“Well, since you asked so nicely. I’m putting together a fantabulous party to kick off October. Of course, I’m inviting you, Ro,” Remy replied with another outrageously loud sip. Roman was well aware Remy was doing it on purpose but didn’t care to call out his cousin, he just wanted to get back to sleep.

“The offer is very much appreciated-”

“Girl, I’m not done, it’s a masquerade costume party and some of my friends from college will be coming. You and me are gonna go costume shopping tomorrow and it will be marvelous. No ‘nos’ or ‘buts’. I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” Remy insisted, sounding way too pleased with himself. “Now go to sleep you party-pooper.” The phone beeped before Roman could even get another word in, but that was the last thing on his mind. The idea of the party actually excited him, despite how negatively he’d acted over the phone. He was certain Remy was aware he’d want to attend as well. A costume masquerade, what a wondrous idea.

But what would he go as? Something fanciful and remarkable, certainly. His mind was still fogged with sleep and his eyelids were already drooping as he numbly placed his phone back on his side table. He fought for a moment to keep his eyes open, he needed to come up with an idea. Remy hadn’t told him when this party was but he said they were going costume shopping tomorrow meaning Roman had to have a plan if he was going to be as marvelous and extravagant as he wanted. Thinking of something in his current state, however, would prove disastrous so without further fight Roman fell right back to sleep.

<<-------------------->>

Roman woke to the default screeching blare of his alarm clock, his eyes sliding open as he pushed himself upright and blindly shut off his alarm with ease. The light was now seeping in through his window, patterned by the blinds, the curtains pulled back and the sun’s ray filtering through the red fabric. It was a serene sight, happy and calm; a perfect morning.

Roman flung off his blankets quickly, immediately missing the warmth his bed had to offer but knowing that if he stayed in bed he’d end up sleeping the day way. He shuffled across his room with a yawn, stretching his arms high above his head before running both hands through his hair and down his face in attempt to wake himself up. Waking up and getting started was always the hardest part of Roman’s day, the urge to just stay in bed and dream almost too strong for him. He knew that if he didn’t get up those dreams could never become a reality, though, and that was something that motivated him on a day to day basis. So, with purpose, Roman opened the door to his bedroom and strode out into the living room of his apartment. He walked across the room, ignoring his fanciful furniture and entered the attached kitchen. The pantry door was slightly askew and Roman sighed loudly, a soft smile playing at his lips as he gently tugged open the door. Inside, on the hardwood flooring, a slim white cat was flopped on the floor. Its head was stuffed into a cat treats bag and the sound of feline chewing could be heard, if not slightly muffled.

Roman kneeled and grabbed the cat around the middle, tugging it out of its breakfast of choice and chuckling lowly as the white-furred creature mewled pitifully at the loss of food. “I’ll never understand how you keep such a slim figure Snowball,” He insisted as he snatched up the bag of treats. He sealed the bag as he stood before reaching out and placing the bag on one of the higher shelves, “You spark a jealousy in me.” He joked.

Snowball stared at him and sat, her head tipping up and showing off her red collar complete with a tiny bell. Her big blue eyes blinked curiously as Roman grabbed a small box of coffee before stepping back and nudging her out of the pantry. He stepped to the side and put the box on the counter before reaching up to open one of his dark, oakwood cabinets. While distracted, Snowball hopped up onto the counter and began curiously sniffing at the box in attempt to figure out if its contents were worthy of her attention.

Roman got down his favorite mug, a red cup with a crown reminiscent of the one in his room with a curly handle he’d received as a gift the Christmas beforehand as a gift from Remy, and nudged Snowball away from the coffee before extracting a small container of coffee grounds from the box. Snowball sniffed at his hand as he flipped up the handle of his Keurig and popped the coffee into place. He shoved his mug under the spout and flicked the handle down before hitting the 10-ounce button and waiting. He leaned against the counter and reached up to scratch behind Snowball’s ears as the machine whirred to life and began to mix his preferred morning coherency in liquid form. Snowball purred gratefully, staring at him with half-lidded eyes. She appeared almost questioning and Roman often wondered how much Snowball could truly comprehend. Perhaps she always stole his pens because she was unhappy with her very uninspired name.

“You’ll be home alone for a while today my dear,” Roman said smoothly. It’d become habit for him to casually speak with his feline companion, telling her about his day or his plans like she was a human who would speak back. A few of his friends found it rather weird, his friends with pets, however, understood wholeheartedly. Snowball meowed when he attempted to pull his hand away, lifting a paw and pulling his hand back shamelessly. “Remy has decided to take me shopping for a costume and I have the most stunning idea.” He confessed.

The Keurig spewed coffee, startling Snowball and giving Roman the opportunity to pull his hand away before he continued on, “You see, I’ve been having extraordinary dreams revolving around this brilliant fantasy land.” Snowball no longer looked very interested now that Roman wasn’t petting her, her tail swaying in something akin to irritation as she seated herself on the dark marble countertop. Roman smiled at her as he gestured grandly to nothing as he spoke with more fervor, “You see, in each one, I am wearing this magnificent princely outfit with golden embellishments and a sash this most enchanting ruby shade, my katana sheathed at my side. I hope to bring it to life for this party, what do you think?” He asked despite knowing he’d receive no answer.

Snowball simply jumped off the counter as the Keurig sputtered, spraying out the last of Roman’s coffee before shutting down until it’s next use. Roman sighed contentedly to himself as he tugged his coffee off the Keurig plate, setting it on the counter as he retrieved his creamer from his spotless stainless steel fridge settled straight across from his pantry. He unscrewed the lid as he approached his coffee and proceeded to pour a borderline disgusting amount of the sweetened creamer into his drink. The liquid reached just below the lip of the cup when he stopped, putting the lid back on and putting the creamer away before he grabbed a spoon from beside the coffee maker and carefully mixed his drink. The coffee quickly became a very light cream color and he tapped the spoon on the rim and put it back in it’s designated spot. With his drink prepared and cooling he left the kitchen and headed back towards his room, the soft jingling of Snowball’s bell ringing behind him as his cat followed after him.

Roman walked through his door, left wide open, and watched over to his nightstand. He snatched up his phone and unplugged it with a practiced grace before he unlocked the device and opened his default messaging app (I.E Instagram). He tapped his most recent conversation and skillfully typed out a text.

7:45 a.m

PrinceRoman: When do u plan 2 pick me up?

Roman hit send and shoved his phone into the pocket on his red satin pajama pants, picking up Snowball and holding her to his chest before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. He walked back into the living room, placed Snowball on the couch, before moving to collect his coffee from the kitchen. His routine felt like it usually went along a lot smoother than it was now but he blamed it fully on the fact his rest had been so rudely interrupted during the night. Cup in hand he made his way into the living room before sitting on the dark suede couch next to Snowball and setting his mug on the gunmetal glass coffee table settled between him and his TV set up. He began to once again pet Snowball when his phone dinged. He dug the phone from his pocket and opened the message.

7:49 a.m

Up_All_Night: Be ready in an hour~!

Roman rolled his eyes but grinned fondly to himself as he sent back a quick heart before tossing his phone next to him and leaning back into the soft cushions. He sucked in a content breath and just let himself relax and pet his cat for a moment. He was living his dreams, singing in musicals and acting in plays. He’d even gotten a main role in a Broadway musical a few years back and it had been one of the best moments of his life. He was lucky, and content for the most part. Sometimes his mind got to him, pushing in on his like a trap telling him he wasn’t good enough and he was never going to make it. It wasn’t uncommon for him to give into those thoughts, fear and insecurity rolling in his stomach and telling him he had to prove himself. In the end he always came out on top, he knew he always would, but in those moments he feels defeated and broken. It amazes him sometimes he ever manages to get himself back up. It’s because of his supportive family and friends, the people who he doubts will even stay but always do more for him then he could ever expect them to. He just so amazed by all of it, it stumps him how he ever came to deserve anything like this.

Snowball pawed at his wrist, noticing he’d stopped in his soothing pats and demanding more attention. Roman roused from his thoughts and stood, leaving Snowball on the couch so he could go take a quick shower and get dressed. Remy would be on his way soon.

While walking back to his room to use the adjacent bathroom and get a change of clothes Roman couldn’t help but smile, a happiness unexplainable blooming in his chest.

<<-------------------->>

Roman bounced his leg where he sat beside Remy in his cousin’s car, excitement buzzing in his veins. He had a brilliant plan for his costume and he knew all the stores to find in order to get exactly what he needed. “When, exactly, does this party take place?” he asked, turning to look at his cousin as they slowed to a stop at a red light.

“A week from now,” Remy answered uncaringly, taking a loud sip from their drink as they stared down the light like winning a staring contest would make it turn green faster.

<<-------------------->>

A few bags already hung from Roman’s arms, a good few more hanging from Remy’s, when he saw something perfect. He needed it, it would complete everything. “Remy,” He squealed, grabbing his cousin by the forearm and dragging him across the mall’s courtyard so he could reach the small shop right next to a Hot Topic. “Need.”

“Roman, honey, sweetheart,” Remy sighed, grabbing his sunglasses and pulling them down the bridge of his nose so he could properly stare Roman down over the lenses. With a Starbucks cup in one hand and the other grasping the rims of his glasses, bags swinging from his elbows, Remy looked so stereotypical Roman almost laughed. “It’s a party. You’ll probably never wear the thing again.”

“I can afford it,” Roman shot back.

“So can I, but that’s not the point.” Remy snarked with a teasing roll of his eyes and twitch of his lips.

“Great, then we’ll split the bill for it,” Roman grabbed Remy by the arm again and pulled him into the store. Remy shrieked.

<<-------------------->>

“Is that all,” The clerk asked, raising a questioning eyebrow that Roman barely took note of as he fished a few large bills from his wallet.

“Oh yes, I have everything I need,” Roman assured, holding out the bills.

“That’ll be three-hundred fifteen dollars and twenty-five cents.” The clerk instinctively droned as they took Roman’s money. Remy snorted and took another loud sip, eyeing the clerk as they cringed.

<<-------------------->>

The next week passed in a blur, Roman was working extra hard in attempt to make his costume perfect, going as far to call in his friends Talyn and Joan so they could help him get everything perfect. They were happy to help, taking his bossy instructions with ease and even helping him to even out all of his ideas.

They worked ridiculously hard, Remy absentmindedly reminding Roman time and time again that it was just a costume party. It was a fruitless effort but it was cute that he tried.

<<-------------------->>

Roman stood proudly in his room, admiring his costume in his full body mirror situated next to his desk. He wore sleek, black dress shoes with fitting black dress pants. His torso was covered in a white tunic with four lines of gold holding it closed and tails cutting off just below his knees, his shoulders properly colored with matching golden embellishments. A few lines of gold circled the cuffs of his royal garment. A patch, handmade and a brilliant shade of crimson with more gold, sat on his shoulder; a castle and waves and everything ever so princely. At his side his katana was sheathed and across his chest was a matching crimson sash tying the outfit together. On his face was a fitted mask, sparkling ruby, like that of Dorothy’s shoes in the Wizard of Oz. Around the edges of the masks were wisps of handpainted gold, curling around the eyes gracefully and bringing out the flecks of colorful hazel in his chestnut eyes. Dots of the same shimmer rested along the edge of the mask’s top, like stars.

Roman smiled and looked himself in the eye, atop of his head sat a golden circlet decorated with subtly red gems. It wasn’t authentic by any means by a proper imitation. It was absent in his dreams, the circlet, but he felt like it completed the look he was striving to achieve. He was ready.

<<---------------------->>

“You look stunning girl,” Remy greeted animatedly, opening the door to let Roman in and admiring Roman’s royal costume. His eyes settled on the circlet and his smile seemed to widen. “Looks great.” Remy’s mask was simply pitch black, matte and solid. His costume was a ragged black and gray patched outfit, special effects bolts sticking from either side of his neck and thick staples across his forehead. Stitches could be seen peeking out from underneath his clothes, white contact in his eyes and standing out against the black of his mask.

“You look properly spooky Remy,” Roman complimented back, looking out across the crowd of people and admiring all the costumes. They ranged from store-bought to handmade; covering to revealing. They moved in time to loud music, dancing across the mansion-like household that belonged to Roman’s Aunt and Uncle. Remy nodded to him and disappeared into the crowd, talking loudly with the people who greeted him. Roman was very familiar with the house, and he was glad to know that his costume was clearly the most extravagant out of all of the others. He was bold and powerful, standing tall and looking at everything before him. Lights circled around every available surface, casting purple and orange light all across the home, the house lights themselves were dimmed and Roman was almost one hundred positive that festive snacks were piled high in the dining area hidden behind a wall off to his right. It was a well thought out display, like one from a film, like a spookier version of Another Cinderella Story’s grand masquerade party.

Roman smirked as he trotted down into the fray, hand casually resting on his sword’s hilt. The people weren’t rude, letting him pass with relative ease as he made his way to the kitchen area. He hadn’t eaten that day, spending the entire day fretting over last minute details. His choices were now coming to bite him as his stomach clenched, painfully demanding attention. He was happy to give in, walking with his head held high and a proud grin on his face. He felt remarkable, celestial, like the world could focus in on him at this moment and be proud. It was an amazing feeling and he relished in it, stepping into the kitchen and being met with exactly what he expected. A fogging bowl of what he assumed was alcohol-spiked punch sat on the kitchen island, a gratuitous amount of Halloween candy and snacks surrounding the smokey cauldron. Deciding alcohol wasn’t in his best interest Roman made for the fridge, opening the familiar storage unit and looking for the soda he knew Remy always kept on hand in case he decided to make a surprise visit.

“Hey,” Roman startled at the angry voice behind him, turning around to glance at the entryway. He quickly met eyes with the man who’d spoken, the guy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. He was dressed in a black and purple patchwork hoodie that looked carefully crafted. His pants were black as were his shoes but Roman’s eyes were drawn briefly to the man’s plum-colored bangs hanging over his eyes. His eyes covered with a startling flamboyant mask. It was a deep sparkling violet decorated with silvery lightning bolts, the eyes lined with a shimmering black. “What the hell are you doing?” The guy snarled, pushing off the wall and shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he walked further into the kitchen.

Roman raised a questioning eyebrow, offended by the stranger’s rude behavior, “I could ask you the same thing, you know you’re supposed to show up to costume parties in costume, right?” He snarked back, turning back to the fridge and grabbing the soda he so craved. He opened the can with a satisfying pop and turned back to the stranger as his drink fizzed in his hand. “I’m unsure of what your problem is but I’d suggest taking it out on someone else J.D-lightful.”

The guy bristled, shoulders tensing and teeth grinding together. His eyes narrowed into a fierce glare and Roman was almost certain he would pounce when a familiar face bounced into the kitchen.

“Oh, hi Roman,” Patton greeted with a bright smile showing off fake fangs molded to his teeth. His mask was a dazzling baby blue outlined in gray, sparkling and glimmering and eye-catching. He wore a blue polo and his favorite gray cardigan was tied around his shoulders, jeans covered his legs and sneakers adorned his feet. The interesting part, however, was Patton’s messy hair and fluffy sideburns, a black nose painted on his own sniffer. Roman was surprised when Patton’s gaze flicked to the stranger, putting a name to the face. “Hiya Virgil.”

“You know him?” Roman and Virgil spoke in unison, turning to scowl at each other.

Patton nodded, “Come on kiddos, play nice.” He scolded playfully as he walked over, grabbing a handful of pretzels and munching on them as he put his other hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Roman, this is Virgil. Virgil, this is Remy’s cousin Roman.” he introduced around a mouthful of salty snack. Virgil glared at him, looking him up and down skeptically before giving him a curt not and extending a hand.

Roman stared at it for a moment, unsure if he should trust this man, “It’s called a handshake Princey, you tend to participate when you meet new people.” Virgil teased, smirk pulling at his lips and oh no. Roman much preferred when Virgil smiled, his scowl was dark but even that soft teasing grin was enough to put a light in Virgil’s dark brown irises.

He took Virgil’s hand and shook it firmly, noting Virgil’s own firm grasp before their hands dropped simultaneously to their sides. They stared each other down for a moment, Virgil’s shorter stature and slumped posture forcing Roman to look down in order to meet the other man’s eyes. Patton, oblivious to the moment, loudly shoved more pretzels into his face.

“Patton, that is highly ineffective. You are getting the majority of your food on the floor.” Roman couldn’t help but roll his eyes, apparently, everyone he knew was interested in hiding out in the kitchen. And Virgil, of course. He was content to be with his closest friends though. And Virgil.

Patton whined, pouting at Logan and getting crumbs all over his polo and into his fake sideburns. “To be fur Logan, we all know I’m a messy eater.” Virgil snorted and rolled his eyes while Logan scowled and instinctively moved to adjusted his glasses, forgetting he’d put on contact in favor the party’s theme. Logan was wearing his usual attire, a dark black polo and a navy tie. His shirted tucked into tan pants and his feet covered with pristine dress shoes. His mask was a simple, sparkling navy lined with black in a similar style to Patton’s. Roman noted how they were all covered in different colored glitters.

“I believe you meant ‘to be fair’.” Logan corrected as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Did I?” Patton shot back, smile widening as Roman chuckled and Logan groaned. The night was beginning to look a lot more entertaining.

<<-------------------->>

They’d all taken a seat on the floor, sat in a poorly made circle with the bowl of pretzels settled in the center. Initially, Logan had protested, insisting that chairs would be much better but Patton had tugged him down and the logical man had made no move to get up and remove himself.

Now, they were all smiling over some dumb joke that Patton had told. Virgil’s shoulders silently shook and Logan had looked away in order to cover his amusement. Patton looked so proud that he’d made them all laugh, eyes shining behind his mask as he beamed at all of them. If Patton had a tail it’d be wagging a million miles a minute. Roman had noticed when Virgil had let out a surprised bark of laughter earlier that he was wearing small fangs, when he’d asked Virgil just shrugged and said he was a vampire. Logan was a “teacher.” Neither had really wanted to dress up.

“What’s a werewolf’s favorite day of the week?” Patton asked, leaning forward as if in anticipation of his own joke. He didn’t wait for anyone to attempt an answer before he bounced back and threw his arms up, “Moonday!” he exclaimed. Virgil snorted again and smiled at Patton almost shyly.

“Did you study before the party?” Virgil snarked. Patton bounced in place and shook his head, both of their fake fangs were showing. It was quite endearing, actually.

“I’m just that good kiddo,” Patton sang, giggling. If Roman didn’t know any better he’d say Patton was intoxicated but he knew Patton just got this way when excited sometimes.

Roman turned to Logan, sending the man a gentle smile that Logan returned without hesitance. The party was turning out to be a lot more fun than he had anticipated but that was likely due to the fact he was spending it with amazing people. He’d have to thank Remy. In fact, this would be one of his favorite moments of the year he was certain, simply sitting down and enjoying the company of people that have come to mean so much to him... and Virgil.

Roman slowly stood, gaining the others’ attention, he grinned at them and straightened his posture, “I’m off to the restroom. I’ll return shortly.” he assured. Logan gave him a nod, Virgil shrugging as Patton told him to be back soon. He left the kitchen and strode back into the mess of people in the house, the music hitting him full force. Everyone appeared to be having a great time, nothing broken and everything calm enough. Remy really did know how to put a party together, which made sense considering how many he goes to. Roman squeezed his way through the crowd, careful not to jab anyone with the end of his sheath as his maneuvered through the crowd. Luckily he knew where he was going.

The hall leading to the bathroom was thankfully empty with the exception of two girls settled against the wall nursing drinks, he passed them with a polite nod before knocking on the bathroom door. When no response came he assumed it safe and entered the, thankfully, vacant restroom. He relieved himself in peace, washing his hands and running his still wet digits through his hair to both tame and tussle the soft locks. He looked himself over in the mirror, adjusted his circlet and nodded to himself before leaving the cream-themed room.

“-showing off, how rude. I mean, who wears a crown to a costume party.” One of the girls was speaking as he exited the room and it was clear they were in the middle of a conversation about him. The other girl scoffed and rolled her eyes while agreeing wholeheartedly and sipping her drink.

Roman could feel nervous nausea twist in his stomach, his previously wondrous mood soured by the few words he heard spoken about him. He turned on his heels and retreated further into the house, taking familiar turns while his thoughts raced. Did everyone think that? That he was showing off and being over-the-top? That wasn’t his intention, he just wanted to put his all into what he did. Perhaps he should stop trying to make everything perfect. Perhaps Remy had been right, it truly was just a costume party.

He burst through one last pair of doors, sucking in a deep breath that filled his lungs with cold, night air. The backyard, epic in size, had a gigantic rectangular pool surrounded by clean, light gray concrete. It was all fenced in with a tall hedge covered in a multitude of flowers and the stairs leading from the house to the pool was lined with plants of all kinds. There were fairy lights suspended above the entire yard but they were off, the stars strikingly clear as Remy’s home was in the middle of nowhere and the outside lights were off as well.

Roman trotted down a few steps before dropping down onto the lip of one of the planting bases. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, tangling his hands into his hair and taking in deep, shaky breaths. He felt ridiculous, letting the opinions of others get to him so much. He was very proud of his costume, Joan and Talyn were as well, but the words of two girls had made him feel so unnecessarily guilty. The last thing he wanted to force people to feel worse about themselves because he went overboard.

He was always going overboard.

Roman sat back, letting his hands drop and hang between his knees as he just stared up at the stars. He felt his eyes fruitlessly burning and he was distinctly aware of how the chill of the cold autumn air bit at his skin. How had the night gone from so enjoyable, a fantasy come to life, to so wretched. He felt tainted and dirty; unworthy. Over something just so stupid.

“You know, I really like the stars.” Roman jolted at the sound of Virgil’s voice. He whipped around to see the man trudging down the stairs with his hands shoved deep into is unique hoodie’s pockets. Roman tracked Virgil with his eyes as the other approached, carefully lowering himself down next to Roman on the plant’s edge. “They’re so dark and beautiful, the night sky losing its significance without the stars and the stars losing themselves entirely without the darkness of the sky.” Roman watched Virgil carefully as his gaze flicked over the sky, the stars reflected in his irises as his mask sparkled in the moon’s silvery light.

“What are you doing Virgil?” Roman asked softly, drawing Virgil’s eyes to his. For a long moment Virgil just stared at him, it felt like Virgil could see everything. His face was calm and thoughtful and his eyes were borderline unfocused.

Virgil turned away again and it felt like Roman’s breath came back to him, the upward twitching of Virgil’s lips breaking the impossibly fragile atmosphere the moment seemed to have adapted all on its own. Virgil’s hair shifted, falling further into his eyes and glinting in the same silver light that caused his mask to shine.

“You are who you are Princey,” Virgil spoke suddenly, “Whatever makes you happy is what you deserve to do. People will always be against you so surround yourself with people who will do nothing but support you, even during your most ridiculous and insane phases. Those girls were just jealous because their basic Spirit Halloween costumes could never compete with your homemade brilliance.”

“How did you-”

“Just be yourself Roman,” Through the hours they’d been talking in the kitchen Virgil had yet to call him Roman. It was surprising and special despite the fact they’d just met that day. “The people who stand against you don’t know the kind of person you are or what you deal with on a day to day basis.” Roman’s chest ached thinking about how personal that had sounded. Virgil tilted his head up and looked at the stars again and this time Roman joined him. The stars were so bright, the moon’s light illuminating everything around them. Vaguely, Roman wondered if his true love was out there looking at these same stars. The way the pool rippled in the breeze reminded him of his dream at the beginning of the week, his outfit almost an exact replica of what he’d been wearing in his mind’s fantasy world. The stars were almost as bright, the moon almost as magical.

“There you guys are!” Patton’s happy voice echoed behind him moments before he and Virgil were tackled in Patton’s warm embrace, the heat of the man’s body chasing away the fall night’s chill. He laughed joyously when Patton yanked a disgruntled Logan into the cuddle pile, Virgil chuckling in his ear as they all ended up staring up at the stars. He truly, deeply needed to thank Remy for this; his dream paled in comparison to this perfect moment.

40 notes · View notes

eliemo · 4 years ago

Text

Bored of Love

Summary: Virgil knows Roman is going to leave if he doesn't change. But he still has time. He can fix this.

TWs: social anxiety, fear of a breakup, misunderstandings

Notes: Enjoy this little oneshot while I work on some of my bigger projects. Romantic Prinxiety, established relationship

Virgil didn’t know how much longer he could keep doing this.

Which was stupid, he’d put himself in this position. It’d be selfish of him to back out of it now. He might ruin everything irreparably if he even tried.

Virgil could suck it up and deal with this, even if it felt like he was going to die the next time he stepped into a public place the Imagination created for him.

But that didn’t matter. Because this was for Roman- and Roman was beaming. He’d been thrilled all week, eyes lighting up in a way that made Virgil dizzy whenever he suggested another date idea or activity to the Prince, carefully hiding the exhausted waver in his voice that hadn’t gone away after three straight days of taking Roman out.

He’d thought he might have been going a little overboard, offering to go out and do things day after day. He’d been a little worried Roman would catch on to what he was doing. Maybe he’d laugh at how disgustingly desperate Virgil was.

But he didn’t. The Prince just looked more excited each time, jumping up and sweeping Virgil off his feet and into an embrace when a new idea was presented.

And that made it worth it. Roman was happy- happy with Virgil- and that was the best feeling in the world. If it meant Roman would keep loving him, that Roman would stay, a little exhaustion and extra anxiety was something he could live with.

Virgil was just...glad he’d forced himself to do this before it was too late.

He hadn’t noticed it until last week, how...annoying it must be for Roman whenever Virgil wanted to stay in and do nothing. Again.

Virgil had thought it would be ok, that Roman understood that sometimes going out and doing things, being active and social, was just a little too much. He’d warned Roman about it before they’d gotten together, that his anxiety could be an obstacle, that he’d do his best but he’d always prefer to be alone with his boyfriend, held safely against his chest.

And Roman hadn’t cared. Not even for a second. He’d waved it off with grand declarations of love that he’d quickly pushed aside in favor of more serious, quiet promises, holding Virgil close to make sure he understood.

All he wanted was Virgil to be comfortable and happy. All he wanted was for them to be together. If Virgil would let Roman love him, he would be happy no matter what they did.

And that’s what they’d done. And everything had been...perfect. It had been better than he’d ever thought it could be, everything he’d never let himself dare to hope for. Being with Roman made the world feel ok, and the bad days more than worth it.

Virgil loved him. And he was so so scared to mess this up.

Which was why last week, when Roman had actually been annoyed by his introversion for the first time, Virgil had panicked immediately and scrambled to fix everything.

Roman had suggested going out on a date night, something a bit more extravagant than their usual quiet dinner in Roman’s room or in the empty kitchen. And as nice as it sounded, Virgil knew there was absolutely no way he would have been able to handle it that night.

His anxiety had been acting up, leaving him jumpy and tired, and even just the thought of venturing out into the Imagination left him wanting to curl up in his bed and never leave.

And he’d said as much, sheepishly admitting he’d really rather just stay inside for the night. And instead of the usual gentle understanding he got in return, Roman had scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“Of course you don't,” he’d muttered. “Come on, Virgil, you never want to do anything fun. Staying inside all day is boring. I’m just trying to do something nice for you like a boyfriend is supposed to do since apparently you can’t return the favor.”

And then he’d stormed off, probably to complain to Patton and Logan, and Virgil he’d been left on the couch feeling like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head.

Roman had said when they’d started dating that it was ok, that he didn’t care. He wanted Virgil, not the dates and outings and activities. He wouldn’t care if Virgil was too anxious to go out. He’d be perfectly content curling up in bed and watching a movie they’d both seen a hundred times before.

Was that...not true? Had he changed his mind? Was Virgil getting boring? Was he annoying Roman?

Was Roman going to leave if Virgil didn’t hurry up and get it together?

Maybe it was already too late. Maybe Roman had already gotten bored and fallen out of love with him. Maybe there was nothing Virgil could do to convince him to stay with someone like Anxiety.

Beneath the panic, Virgil had recognized he was spiraling. Roman wouldn’t leave him, not out of nowhere. Not over this. Virgil still had time to fix things. He could be better.

Roman had apologized less than an hour later, complete with a bundle of purple flowers and a nervous smile. Virgil hadn’t been mad, of course, and he assumed the apology had only felt necessary because it was impossible for Virgil to hide the fact he’d been crying.

But they were fine now. That had been days ago, and Roman clearly wasn’t giving it a second thought.

But Virgil hadn’t stopped thinking about it, and the next day he’d come to Roman with a date idea, something similar to what Roman had suggested. Virgil had been tired and a little unfocused, but it had been worth it to see Roman positively beam at him.

And then Virgil hadn’t...stopped. He’d kept making plans around their pre-existing schedule for filming and time with the others, more and more piling up until Virgil couldn’t remember the last time he’d had a moment to himself.

It had almost been almost a week now, a week of taking Roman out every day and pushing down panic and exhaustion because Virgil was fine. This is what he wanted because it was what Roman wanted.

Every time a date ended the thoughts would come rushing back, panicked and insistent that Roman was still going to leave him no matter what he did. What if it hadn’t been enough? What if Roman had wanted more? What if Virgil had been too quiet- too boring?

They wouldn’t be silent until Virgil made another plan, took them out again, until Roman smiled with undeniable excitement and led them back into the bustling Imagination.

They had another dinner date tonight, in just a couple hours. Virgil found himself hunched over the breakfast bar in the kitchen, staring blankly at his half empty mug of coffee, and trying very hard not to think about how Logan was staring at him.

“Virgil,” Logan said carefully, and Virgil heard him approach from the kitchen doorway. “Are you...alright?”

“I’m fine,” Virgil said quickly, too quickly, because he wasn’t fine, it felt like he was going to break down if he had to do one more thing today. They’d already worked on filming, and Thomas had gone out with a friend that morning, and Virgil just wanted to sleep. “Why?”

He heard Logan move even closer, tensing when the logical side put a hand on his shoulder. “Because you’ve been incredibly active this last week, and that isn’t like you.”

Virgil grimaced and shook off his hand, probably more aggressively than was necessary. “I’m fine. Maybe I like being active.”

“You don’t,” Logan said, and it wasn’t a question. “And there is nothing wrong with that, Virgil. Some people are more introverted than others, and socializing drains them more quickly. Not to mention your anxiety makes you—”

“Yeah, I know,” Virgil snapped, pushing himself off the stool to dump his coffee in the sink. “I’m shit at doing things and I’m trying to fix that.”

“There is nothing to fix, Virgil. Pushing yourself like this will only hurt you. I don’t understand why you’re doing this to yourself.”

Virgil sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and grabbing at the edge of the counter to keep himself from having a breakdown on the kitchen floor. Logan didn’t deserve to deal with that.

“I’m taking my boyfriend out to dinner,” he said, hating how his voice shook. “And I took him out a few times this week because he deserves it. That’s all. I’m fine, Logan.”

Logan was silent a moment, Virgil still refusing to turn around. “If you told Roman this was hurting you, I’m sure he would—”

“Don’t tell Roman.” Virgil finally spun around, eyes wide and panicked, meeting Logan’s raised eyebrow.“Please, don’t tell Roman, Lo you can't.”

Logan shook his head, watching Virgil with a mix of something between sympathy and concern. “It is not my place to talk to Roman about this. But I do not recommend letting this continue.”

“I’m doing this to make him happy,” Virgil said, and it sounded small and pathetic to his own ears. “I’m...I have to, Lo. He deserves so much better.”

Logan sighed, short and quiet, and for a second Virgil thought he was going to be told off. Virgil was being ridiculous, and no amount of faking excitement and energy could get Roman to stay with someone like him.

But Logan just reached over to squeeze his hand, smiling gently. “Roman is happier than he has been in years since entering a relationship with you. Please try to remember that.”

And then he was gone, leaving Virgil to try and catch his breath in the middle of an empty kitchen until he found the strength to hurry upstairs to get ready for dinner.

Dinner was great, obviously. It was great because Roman was there, smiling, eyes twinkling as he talked about...something. For the life of him, Virgil couldn’t focus on the conversation anymore.

He was exhausted and the background chatter of the other people in the restaurant (because of course when Roman created something he had to make it as realistic as possible- what was the fun in a date at a fancy restaurant if it was completely empty and quiet?) was grating against his skull. It was too much and as wonderful as it was to see Roman so happy, Virgil just wanted it to be over.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to go back to Roman’s room and climb into bed and sleep against the Prince’s chest and forget about the world.

But he couldn’t, because this wasn’t enough. It still wasn’t enough, he had to do more because the second Virgil showed just how much he hated this Roman would stop smiling, and he’d realize just how awful Virgil was to be with. Roman was a Prince, he deserved so much better than Anxiety, and if Virgil didn’t change—

“Virgil?” Roman had stopped talking, and Virgil quickly snapped to attention when he realized Prince was staring at him, brow furrowed. “Are you alright?”

It took Virgil a moment to notice he’d started shaking, uncontrollable trembling that was impossible to hide when he took a sip of his water.

But he was fine. He was fine and he needed to get over himself before Roman picked up on anything.

“I’m good, Princey,” he said, cursing how weak his voice sounded. “Do you want to go out to breakfast tomorrow? I had some ideas.”

Roman stared for a second, and Virgil’s heart sank when his smile started to drop. “You’re shaking like a leaf, Virgil. Do you feel sick?”

“No.” Virgil squeezed his hands into fists, nails digging painfully into his palms. “I’m fine, I’m...I’m just cold. It’s cold in here. Do you want to do breakfast tomorrow?”

It was clearly a lie, Roman always kept the temperature perfect in his realm, and Virgil felt more like he was overheating than anything.

“Virge...” he reached forward, freezing when Virgil flinched back before he could stop himself. “Honey, you...do not look fine.”

“I am,” Virgil argued, even as tears began to gather in his eyes. “I’m fine, I swear. We’re having a fun time, I’m ok. You’re...you’re having fun, right? You like these dates?”

Roman didn’t respond for a moment, cautiously looking Virgil over before speaking carefully. “I...I do, but—”

“That’s good!” It came out a bit too desperate, and Virgil internally cringed. “That’s...that’s good. They’re for you.”

“But I’m an extrovert,” Roman said. “We know I enjoy being out and about like this. You’re...Virgil, it’s ok if you don’t want to.”

“No, I do. I do want to, I promise. We’re..we’re having fun. You’ve been having fun.”

“I have,” Roman said slowly. “But if it’s at the cost of your mental health we can have fun doing other things. You don’t have to push yourself.”

“Yes I do,” Virgil said before he could stop himself, wincing when his voice broke. “And I’m fine. Do you want to go out to breakfast tomorrow?”

Roman was silent for a long moment, too long, watching Virgil like he was worried the anxious side might break. Virgil thought he might, too.

“Actually,” the Prince started, voice soft. “I was thinking we could stay in tomorrow.”

Virgil hated how quickly his head shot up, hope clawing at his chest when he saw the sincerity in Roman’s eyes. “You were?”

“I was,” Roman said. “I may not be as good as Patton, but I could figure out how to cook us something edible. We could eat it in bed and watch movies, if you’d like.”

It was like a weight had just been lifted off of Virgil’s shoulders, letting him breathe for the first time all week as he wiped away tears still pooling in his eyes. “That...would be really nice. If- if that’s what you want to do. If you’re sure.”

Roman nodded, back to smiling gently, and Virgil couldn’t even try to hold back the pathetic sobs that broke free, leaving him hunched over and trembling in the middle of the restaurant.

He heard Roman’s chair scoot back and for a terrifying second he thought the Prince was leaving, finally giving up on the pathetic mess sitting across from him.

But then there was another chair being pulled up beside him, and Roman had gathered Virgil into his arms and against his chest, letting Virgil cry into his shirt as he held him close.

“I’m sorry,” Roman said, and Virgil didn’t understand why he was the one apologizing. “Gosh, I’m sorry Virgil. I’ve...I’ve been so selfish, haven’t I?”

“What?” Virgil pulled back, still clutching at Roman’s shirt. “You’re not being selfish, Ro. I’m...I’ve been trying to make you happy.”

“I was perfectly happy how we were,” Roman said softly. “I thought you were being more social and I didn't want to discourage you, but I completely missed the signs that you weren’t enjoying it.”

“I was enjoying it,” Virgil said, and it was only half a lie. “You were so happy. You were happy. It was worth it.”

“You’re breaking down,” Roman said, and Virgil flinched. “Nothing is worth this.”

“But—”

“I’m gonna talk to Logan about a day off,” Roman continued before Virgil could argue. “You’re going to sleep in, and I’m going to make you breakfast, and we’ll spend the day unwinding. Alright?”

It sounded amazing, like everything Virgil had been desperately wanting all week long, but...but it was the opposite of what he’d been trying to do. He’d ruined the night, and Roman...Roman didn’t look upset, but...

“Are...are you mad? It’s ok if you are, but I—”

“No baby,” Roman said, soft and gentle in a way that only shattered Virgil’s resolve further. “I’m not mad at all.”

Virgil wasn’t sure he entirely believed that, not when he’d so royally fucked everything up. “I’m...sorry. I’m so sorry, I was just trying to be better.”

He felt Roman freeze, tightening his hold for just a second before loosening again to look Virgil in the eyes. “Better?”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed, not sure why it was a question. “I’m...look, Princey I know I’m a shitty boyfriend and I- I don’t know how long you’re going to put up with it so I’m...trying to change. I can do better. I promise I can do better next time.”

Roman was silent for a long moment, and Virgil expected him to sigh, begrudgingly admit that Virgil was right, he’d just been hoping his frustration wasn’t so obvious, and agree to try another date tomorrow when Virgil got over himself.

Instead Roman tightened his hold, eyes wide and...horrified? “What on earth are you talking about?”

Virgil frowned back at him, panic and uncertainty coiling in his gut because he hadn’t actually thought any of this needed to be explained.

“I know I hold you back,” Virgil said, continuing before Roman could protest. “You love going out and doing things and I know it’s...frustrating that I don’t. You don’t go on quests as much anymore and you're less active because I like to stay in, and I don’t take you out like I should, and I—”

“I don’t go out as much because I’m happy spending time with you,” Roman cut in. “I’d go out if I wanted to, darling. I like staying in with you. Yes, these dates have been wonderful, and I appreciate them. But I’d prefer to do something where both of us are comfortable.”

“But—” Virgil’s breath caught on another sob, and he tightened his hold on the Prince. “But you said I never...I- I thought you were getting bored with me.”

Roman looked confused, but it only lasted a second before realization took over. “Is this...is this because of the fight we had?”

Virgil shrugged, eyes on his lap. “It...wasn’t a fight. You were honest with me and I tried to fix what I was doing wrong.”

“Oh, baby.” Roman’s hands were suddenly cupping his face, tilting his chin up to meet Virgil’s gaze. “That wasn’t me being honest, Virgil. That was me being an asshole because I had a long day and I took it out on you. It wasn’t fair. I didn’t mean any of it.”

Virgil couldn’t see with the way the tears were blurring his vision, but the anxiety that had been relentlessly wrapped around his heart since Roman had lashed out was beginning to unravel.

“Oh,” he said, a little breathless. “I thought...I just wanted this to be perfect for you. I wanted to be good.”

“Neither one of us will ever be perfect.” Roman smiled, wiping away Virgil’s tears with his thumb. “But I love you. I love you so much, Virgil. You’re perfect to me.”

Virgil struggled to breathe around hiccuping sobs still coming from his chest, completely lost because this wasn’t...this was all wrong. “But you...you deserve the best.”

“And I have that. You being comfortable and safe is all I could ever want, Virgil. You’re my world.”

And well...great. Now Virgil was crying in earnest all over again, collapsing into Roman’s chest and letting it all out, melting into his embrace as he once again held him tight.

Roman shushed him gently, rocking them both where they sat, running gentle fingers through Virgil’s hair. “You deserve the best too, Virgil. Please don’t ever put yourself below me.”

“I do have the best,” Virgil said, muffled from where he’d buried his face in Roman’s chest. “If...if you stay.” He quickly pulled back, panic clawing at his throat. “Not- not that you have to stay. You don’t. I’m not...you’re not trapped or anything, I just—”

“I know, Virgil,” Roman said gently, and he relaxed again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Ok,” Virgil sighed, breaths still shaky, head rested on Roman’s shoulder. “Sorry for ruining dinner.”

“You didn’t,” Roman assured, rubbing gentle circles along the anxious side’s back. “Would you like to go home?”

Virgil probably nodded a bit too fast, but Roman didn’t seem annoyed in the slightest. He just scooped Virgil up bridal style and carried him through the now silent restaurant. Virgil belatedly realized Roman had gotten rid of the rest of the customers.

“I love you,” Virgil whispered, wrapping his arms tight around Roman’s shoulder when the Prince kissed the top of his head. “I’m really sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Roman said, stern but gentle in a way that didn’t send Virgil’s anxiety skyrocketing. “I’m going to take care of you.”

Virgil nodded, too tired to form another response, closing his eyes and letting Roman take them back to his room. For the first time all week, Virgil found himself looking forward to what tomorrow held.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #prinxiety #romantic prinxiety #logan sanders #fanfiction #writing

436 notes · View notes