#ppl might think this is a bit weird
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unpopular opinion but i want to see more romance books/fanfiction from the guys pov
#🔪 - mello talks too much#ppl might think this is a bit weird#but i think it’s so much more blush and giggle worthy seeing what the guy is thinking about#i want to see what the guy is thinking about as he falls in love#much more giggling into my pillow worthy#sigh#anyways im reading midnight sun (twilight from edwards POV) and he is a STALKERRRRRSHDGSGSG#like crazy and obsessive#but tbh im highkey into that
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Hijoushoku to Gochisou / A Feast of Emergency Rations
Mayonaka no Waltz / Midnight Waltz
Nagabe
#Nagabe#asd#Manga comp#Idk how do i tag this. Just pages that resonated. I need to make a bird fursona asap now#The white king was also very good. The themes and situations unique to their circumstances are super interesting.#No reflection vampire. zoo lion king outcast. etc living a lie…….#The midnight waltz metaphor for ‘let’s just pretend we don’t think they’re weird to spare them’ autism is soooo#Though now that i read the anthology i also am more conflicted on nagabe than ever… I should have known when i#skimmed Wizdoms… i hear monotone blue is super good tho?#Hesitated on putting the ‘who says i don’t know love? Unlike humans i don’t need to give names to things’ white king bit in but nahh#Feast of emergency rations is rotating in my brain like rotisserie chicken btw. I love them?? Might make fanart#Anyways yeah. Just bits that drive the ‘nonhuman characters and why autistic ppl resonate’ point home
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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🎵: happy lemon day <3
desc: a birthday treat 4 u all cuz i miss u !!!<333 i didnt cum or touch 4 over a month until i recorded myself puttin in my plug n came in less than a minute :3 ft whinin n pantin n cummin n wet hole noises like usual :p
#lemon.mp3#queued 2 post at midnight so it is offiicially my bday !!!!!!!#missed u guys :) fanku 4 all da nice dms/asks#things r straightup not gud but i will b ok:)#might still not b active 4 a bit iv got a stressful few weeks comin up#but i will try 4 at least this weekend i think :)#n ill try follow ppl back also !!!! jus feels weird cuz i feeelshy rn lol so bare wiv me plssss
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listen i was guilty of this once upon a time too but dawg ppl GOTTA stop calling any platonic dynamic they like “siblings” without any precedence
#there are many characters where there is good right to call them siblings. but ppl have gotten so trigger happy w it#and like theres nothing wrong with viewing a dynamic that way ig but at the same time it makes ppl who may ship those characters really#uncomfortable. bcuz although there is nothing to suggest that those characters view each other in that way by calling them siblings#instantly you've made it weird for anyone who might interpret the dynamic differently#idk this is very nuanced but it just irked me a little bit#absolutely nothing against the person in the tags of my art btw power to you#but. as someone who ships pearl and scar a little it was a bit uncomfortable to see them be called siblings#i dont like ppl making ANY of the hermits siblings. like grian and pearl are a common one i see and i just. i dont get it i truly dont#none of their dynamics read like that to me. idk. again ppl have their own interpretations of things and they didnt mean any harm by it#it just made me feel a little weird#and this is a problem or well. trend ive seen in all fandoms recently#please. people are allowed to be friends and have close friendships and not have a familial element involved#esp with a girl and a boy THEY CAN JUST BE FRIENDS! YOU CAN HAVE THEM BE TOTALLY PLATONIC WITHOUT CALLING THEM SIBLINGS#whatever whatever idrc. just something ive noticed i know other ppl have talked about this before#again this is not a callout or anything im genuinely not mad or weirded out or anything please dont think i am#serena.txt
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HOW can you be bad at being a furry???????
IDK BUT I AM
#its like i would consider myself a furry the same way someone who played the recorder in middle school says they play an instrument#im like bare minimum furry or furry enjoyer at best. im like someone who might not even be a furry but share their beliefs etc etc#also its very funny when ppl try to 'clock' me as a furry bc of the 'if someone u know draws dogs like this theyre a furry' litmus test#nah man i just poked around deviantart and have a bunch of deviantart artist pages bookmarked on my browser#not to mention the animation memes and oc AMVs which probably shaped my teen years#but the weird thing is that the things u think would have been some sort of furry awakening for me never actually counted for much#i did read the warrior cats mangas BUT i never actually read the main series. i didnt even play animal jam or pretended to be wolves on the#schoolyard ALTHOUGH i did pretend to be a dog and even had a tail i clipped to my pants but nobody wanted to join in bc i bit ppl#maybe im just not that conscious of it but recently ive been looking at more furry art and now i want to draw more furries#its interesting ^_^ maybe im just a late bloomer#ask#yapping
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🪿
#social interactions w irl ppl makes me so anxious#bc like some ppl u talk to on tumblr and twitter have a bigger understanding of like beinf different and stuff#but irl ppl are different and i have to mask sm#my old friend replied.. and then i replied and now i have new messages from him T-T#and the thing is that bc of our past#i have sm anxiety abt not replying fast enough or being too depressing or saying no bc he always#got bad abt it and even ghosted me 🤙#so now i feel sm anxiety bc im like omg i gotta reply fast but idk what to say and i secondguess and overthink every single word#:'))) dont get me wrong i am suprised he replied and also said he had missed me and wanted to write me a letter and thanked me for hanging#out w him during highschool bc he didnt know how he wouldve survived without that#and im like woah???? i actually exist to ppl? ppl actually think of me :o#it's smth i struggle with a lot bc of avpd and smth that i sabotage connection with :(((#but yeah i was like ok damn?? cool!!!!#(then tbh i feel so depressed and numb so i honestly dont *feel* that much like i feel emotionally shut off)#but i still think it's prettyyy neat :3 idk emotionally im a wreck#i dont wanna sound like an asshole when i say 'i dont feel anything' but i just... dont#anyway i still did miss him so i would never lie or be dishonest or disgenuine#but it is anxious that i need to mask a bit bc im scared of him not wanting to talk to me if im too honest or too weird or whatever#still i will keep trying to reply even if i dont know what to say until he might stop replying lol who knows T-T#sry im negative but im rlly trying but i dont want to do anything and i dont.. feel anything
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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i am so apathetic to popular male transformers characters, but i have a simple trick to make me care abt them: i turn them into robot women then i suddenly start seeing their appeal
#grimlock would be so awesome as a butch woman. DO YOU HEAR ME DOES ANYBODY HEAR ME HELLOOOO#also crazy in depth conversation i had abt this made me think abt why i get rlly. apathetic abt popular tf characters#esp when i realize all the popular characters im Whatever abt are all men#but i always have interest in the female ones and also the niche little weird guys#you are looking at rare scrounge fan. rare wheelie fan. and Number 1 Fan of Blurr*#*when hes a dorky weird anxious guy. yknow the ones ppl dont care abt bc hes “annoying” and “ugly”#i dont give as much of a shit abt the handsome cocky racer blurrs#i realize. because tf fandom has a weird thing abt only caring abt how attractive a character is#and tends to gravitate to male characters for that aspect#like lets be real here. there is such a high priority in this fandom for what characters look best in porn. im right.#and ppl love the yaoi robots for that.#and i. am on the aroace spectrum. and do not find as much attraction in men (though i do sometimes. just less so)#so this doesnt appeal to me#so i find myself so incredibly apathetic or a hater to a lot of the tf fandom bc of this#in turn i do not care so much for the popular characters or straight up see them as red flags (admittedly im a bit irrational for this tho)#a lot of times i get a feeling like “ok whats so special abt this guy. its just another conventionally attractive man" it feels boring to m#so that might explain why i become more interested in these characters if they arent men#this is all being said from a nonbinary person that leans more transmasc btw. just noting that.#rando thoughtz
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😐
#so i might take a break for a bit#from interacting at least#i’ll probably still be around a little because this is where my friends and the jisung pictures are#i’m just getting really tired of the kpop fandom fr#like i love my friends that i’ve made through here and im so happy to have met them#but outside of that i’m literally just sick of ppl#i think i’m just gonna like go back to enjoying kpop by myself (and the few besties i’ve made)#bc being in these spaces and seeing this shit is not for me#i’ve just been blocking a lot - like people who are defending trash or supporting that weird fancall shit#and i thought that would help me not be bothered by it but yeah im still bothered#and this could just be the way i’m feeling rn but yeah it’s overwhelming and dumb#whatever.#if i break mutual pls don’t take it personally#i might delete this rant later if i decide to be more active but yeah.#gray 💭
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tbh i might go ahead and put dungeons in as a part of the bellum x linebeck fic's plot since like. 1) struggling to actually figure out a main plot and having dungeons as sort of bit points to hit and be little bits of fitting exploration and bonding and 2) i do kinda want to do dungeons. i like thinking of them and again i do think its fitting.
#bellum x linebeck fic#albw fucks thats where i got the idea. i mean dungeons are a general loz thing but albw is rlly good with a bunch of dungeons#the deal now is like. why are they doing dungeons (beyond. linebeck likes treasure and adventure and bellum likes doing stuff with him)#it doesnt really need to be an endgame thing if that makes sense. a mid to late story plot as smth extra for them to do to interact with#the world and ig the issue is that i cant figure out what they'll get out of these dungeons. considering theyre a bit morally fucked. so#i'll have to think on that. will prolly do only a few bc. yknow. or could do some other kinda of like. major points to hit. but tbh dungeon#do fit in since ppl go exploring a lot and ive been playing with the idea of a fantastical system that like. refills dungeons if theyre#influenced by certain magic or w/e. i like the great sea having a lot of magic kinda just. existing around the world unchecked#it def gives a lot of opportunity for worldbuilding and like. things to do and have exist in the great sea setting. anyways#need smth for bellum and linebeck to do other than play a weird dating sim with each other as their endgame picks#honestly the actual plot side of things is the messiest fucking thing abt this and im trying to keep it from getting out of hand#i have the actual romance set up well enough and i really ought to focus on the romance in chapter planning before trying to#string together a main plot between all of it yknow#salty talks#thinking more on it it might not even need to smth where theyre fully successful bc its like. idk. maybe they just want to do some stuff#cuz there is no world threatening thing (thats bellum's role.) so like no sages or pendants but maybe some fucking mcguffin#part of me thinks. oh. triforce! but thats uh. a lot. i might just leave the dungeon stuff as like. bellum wants him to clear them out as#as like possibly places for bellum to hide out in since he's afraid of being threatened and killed. like hes looking a smth like a base#i like that ig. cuz it could end up with them being like. hey i like being around this person that i think i have feelings for#oh. this might be good to use in development of romance too
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ah well fuck it, going above my calories today for more whiskey hehe (dumb)
#it’s fine it’s still under 800kcal#with 3 whiskey doubles#which isn’t even like ?? my goal was to get abt 1000kcal a day but then I ofc got stupid with it and ’’i can restrict better’’#(bc my weight’s not dropping but like now ik it will purely out of dehydration)#like I try to aim at the 1000kcal to keep everything sane but fuck that’s boring#I want to feel like I restrict when I do#sure I’d get there when I’d restrict with 1000kcal for long enough but I’m impatient#and like I look so bad currently#and now there’s the ’’might have to be in a bikini this weekend’’ fucking thing#the abs are still there but not as prominent as I’d like to#but also somehow more prominent than I’d like to around relatives bc like the ribs too so it could look a bit too sickly to ppl#even tho I’m like at bmi 21-22 rn aka very boring healthy thing#(I carry my most of weight in my thighs rn I think)#idk idk what my point was#anyways I’m feeling the drunk rn#not sad drunk per se but like a lil bit like idk bittersweet drunk if that’s a thing#I just replied to my crush is what contributes greatly to me feeling weird#bc I like him so much but I don’t think it’ll ever work out so I just always feel like ’’aw fuck why not :(’’ after messaging him#and like I’m not even trying with that anymore bc of me not being too stable at the moment and if it’d somehow work out I’d have to stay#alive and all that and like uhh fuck no#I’m not trying to gather anymore ppl around me to suffer once I go#like my family will and that’s already more than I can take and it’ll all be fucking shit but I also have concluded that I can’t stay alive#just for them like sure that'd be the right thing to do but what good am I being a shell of a human & the family fuckup#(also ugh sorry abt talking abt death so much today; just been on my mind a lot recently and I’ve had drinks so my filter is non-existent)#this too should stay as a draft but alas send post
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and once again I am suddenly overwhelmed with an intense feeling of not really fitting into a gender
#honestly I don't even know what this is about I just saw some stories on insta and it's like oh look#she is so proud to be a woman whoa ppl...actually do that huh#and I just realised I never really felt that way like. not fully!! maybe a bit of that yeah but not to this full extent of this#womanhood thing#and I mean yeah I probably felt more of it in my teens and like 20s but it only just occurred to me that it's never been to this full extent#of being womanly and motherly and nurturing etc etc#and now I do not feel like that art all I mean I mostly am a creachur. a divine being. if you will. a freak#and I love it tomorrow I'm gonna go try on some skirts which I haven't done in ages and I'm definitely gonna be doing it in a queer way#not in a girl way#anyway#I know this is really weird going on tag rants here where nobody except a few of my mutuals (hey guys love you lots thought u should know)#is gonna see let alone read this but I really don't have anyone irl to talk to abt gender stuff and I mean I tried?#but just idk. ppl don't get it? like everyone in my life already knows I'm queer and they sorta hand wave it away like that is too#complicated and not that important - and it isn't!! but it also is!#I think they might have been more understanding and sympathetic if I were trans but I'm not and being nonbinary is somehow too difficult for#them to grasp idk#and when I say I don't want to be a different gender and feel increasingly outside and to the left of my assigned gender the more I think#about it they just. do not get it. and it is kinda discouraging and leaves me feeling like not talking about it with them ever#I don't know why I'm writing all this tbh#gender#queer things
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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?
#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now#sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him#no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my#best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh#he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to#say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am#and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him#and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken#but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him#and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not#like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her#and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all#the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess#like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.
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have i ever shared the jermstone (ish) lore where after s1 ends and gideon leaves for haiti without fully explaining to me why (the 'why' is to atone for his sins of trying to blackmail his family which he Also kept from me 😭), i dye my hair (yknow black/pink) bc yknow. normal emo persons reaction after a "break up" (not even together at that point). idk i just think that's funny. oh and after he comes back and we reconnect and i hang out w his family again, pontius seeing me w dyed hair inspires him to start bleaching his hair (100% against his parents wishes btw). and we become friends yayy.
#i wonder how weird that one part in parenthesis sounds to ppl who don't watch this show.#wait i have more scn mutuals now here's how i can convince everyone to watch the Other hbo show abt rich families but this time it's a full#comedy and also the business is a mega church. (it's the ri/ght/eou/s gem/sto/nes pleaaaase watch it it's so underrated)#OK I looked at my lore tag i Sorta said this. i just said the part w pontius. but i never said the first part lol#.txt#is this the lore ppl want . idk. i just like sharing bits n pieces that i think are funny.#istill haven't properly written down jermstone lore despite starting it months ago. ..#hmm maybe a 6th watch of t/rg will help me write it- (it won't) (well it might for like 30m and then i stop)#oki'm shutting up no more talking in tags. the tags r longer thanthe actual post#*dennis from ia.sip meme* talking to myself cus i have things to say or whatever#gideon#ok there. it counts i guess#lore tag#whatever wahtever
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Ok did some fact checking and yeah unless I missed smth outside of Wendy, Walter is the character who refers to Abigail by name the most! Which is absolutely delightful news for me, the number one Abigail Walter besties believer
#rat rambles#starve posting#wurt is in second place with her saying abby-gill twice 👍#and the only other person who reffers to her by name is webber in his sisturn dialogue where he calls it a little abigail house#wait that reminds me I forgot to check some ppls sisturn dialogue but I did word search abigiail and abby on everyone's pages#so unless wurt mentions her no one else should have brough her up? lemme go check wurt tho#ok no other abby-gill mentions#anyways back to walter even outside of him actually reffering to her by name hes the only one that rly seems to like.#actually talk to her like a person?#like dont get me wrong other characters have talked to her instead of at her but walter is like. not being weird abt it.#he just talks to her casually like he would to any other person! and I love that so much!#hes even like the only one who seems to recognize her flower as her#ok well wormwood does too weirdly enough#but I dont think anyone else properly does? wortox might tho its just kinda unclear#but yeah walter has to treat abby like a person to make up for webber saying 'wendy would have been so happy if it worked' after failing to#revive abby to her face lol#I love webber so much but he is also like 10 so its unsurprising for him to be a bit too blunt sometimes
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