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I feel like if you scream at a small animal loud enough it would simply explode 

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oh yeah, with the new size limit for .gifs this thing can finally be posted

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I have this ring. It's absolutely worth it! 100% chicken-alfredo-effect approved.

16th century ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere

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Going to a wrestling tournament. Ama

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Chaotic servers are the best servers

When I was a kid I thought dulce de leche was pronounced douche the loosh and whenever we went for ice cream my dad would say “okay honey ask if they have that caramel flavor you like… what’s it called again?” And I’d yell it and my dad would have the biggest grin while the server would sigh and say “no, this is the fourth week in a row you’ve asked me this, and we don’t have that. I don’t even know what that is.”

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There was an end of the world drill at school. It was planned, but no one was told about it so we all thought it was the real deal.

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Do you have that "I gotta have sex with this thing" isabelle animal crossing drawing? I'm having trouble finding it

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Sigh *unzips pants*

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At work just now there was the guy dressed as the camp's Golden Wizard (huge grey fake beard, floor length purple robe, pointy hat, ya know the whole deal) just dribbled a basketball around, before taking a shot and promptly missed. He then proceeded to slowly lumber around the pool deck for a while and left. It was the funniest sight to ever see.

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I had a dream the other night where valve announced they were deleting tf2 forever effective immediately, and you posted a picture of pyro (I think?) saluting while looking really fucked up and wrinkly with text that said something like "it's been an honor, gents". I'm not requesting you draw this, I just thought you'd find that funny. I've also never played tf2 in my life, so that's something.

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Nuance DEEZ NUTS HA gottem

a lot of people think pink lemonade is interchangeable with strawberry or even raspberry lemonade but theyre wrong. theres actually a lot of nuance

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*takes notes*

Interesting, interesting. Now eat tide pods till you foam at the mouth.

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Can I uh...get uuhhh...one...wumbo meal? Yea I got enough crabs to pay, here you go. *dumps bucket of crabs on register&

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