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quitealotofsodapop · 1 month ago

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I’m loving your courtnapping posts and lore. Question tho, who is Sai Tai Sui and what’s his story in JTTW and your aus? Trying to remember if you already made a post but just can’t find it.

tw in advance for discussion of SA.

Sai Tai Sui aka "Jupiter's Rival" is the villain of the Scarlet-Purple Kingdom Arc.

Roughly; Chapters 68-71 in the unabridged version of Journey to the West. Just before the Spider Demons arc.

Sai Tai Sui fell in lust with the King's wife "Lady of the Golden-Sage Palace", and kidnapped her while her and the king were enjoying the Dragon Boat Festival. The King the fell terribly ill/almost comatose from grief for the next three years.

Luckily, Dr Sun Wukong answered the call for an experienced doctor to cure the king! Well more specifically he tricked Zhu Bajie into answering it to punish him for falling asleep when he was supposed to be grocery shopping. Wukong then offers to take the heat off Bajie and treat the King instead.

Wukong spends literally the next whole chapter nerding out about traditional Chinese medical procedures and treatments.

Wukong accurately identifies that the King's illness was from emotional distress... and constipation. He goofs on the palace retainers a bit to hide what his medicine actually is (both out cunning and cus they were keeping Tripitaka hostage as collateral in case the monkey accidentally killed the king through medical malpractice).

The medicine gives the King a colon clean-out big enough to snap him out of his depression, and get him able to recount what happened the night his wife got courtnapped.

The only reason Sai Tai Sui hadn't forced himself upon the stolen Queen by that point was because a Daoist Immortal named Zhang Ziyang saw her being kidnapped, and sneaked her a garment that would make any physical contact upon her extremely painful.

So what does the celestial horn-dog do now that he can't SA his target of affection?

Over the next three years Sai Tai Sui extorts the kingdom to give him women and girls under the guise of providing servants for the Queen. The text sort of tip-toes what he actually does to the women he steals; but one of his demon lackeys mutters that the stolen women are "substitutes" for the Queen. And that the women are "driven to death" by the abuse they suffer.

Bruh.

Cut to Wukong sneaking in disguised as a minion to offer a rescue to the Queen. But the Queen warns him that Sai Tai Sui possesses weaponized bells called Purple-Gold Bells; that with a single shake they can release poison, fire, and sand able to harm even Wukong of all people.

We know she ain't lying cus when Wukong tries to swap out the bell with fakes the first time - he accidentally activates them, hurting him and alerting Sai Tai Sui to his presence.

Wukong is forced to disguise himself as one of the unfortunate servant girls as part of Rescue Plan B. Curiously, the servants/slaves in the fiend's compound include fox and deer demons, making it likely that Sai Tai Sui's crimes extend beyond what he's done to humans.

Wukong forms a plan with the Queen to seduce Sai Tai Sui into dropping his guard so Wukong can steal the real bells. Wukong even blasts off a bunch of tiny hair clones to act as fleas and lice to force Sai Tai Sui to take a bath.

Sai Tai Sui gives the disguised Wukong ("Spring Grace/Beauty) the real bells to clean (note: he be creeping on him too). But the horndog is so embarrassed by the sudden infestation of lice that he's not in the mood for pushing his luck with the Queen and instead goes to "retire with a palace maiden".

Note: In some adaptations (like the 1999/2000s cartoon) Wukong disguises himself as the Queen/the unfortunate palace maiden and does the seducing himself, albeit while wearing the same "don't fcking touch me"-dress as a precaution.

Wukong then goes outside to call Sai Tai Sui for a one-on-one fight.

When the fiend's fails to activate the fake bells' powers, Wukong pulls out the real ones, and jokes "Well clearly your male bells fail to preform in front of my female ones." (it's a erectile dysfunction joke)

Guanyin shows up, subdues Sai Tai Sui with the real Purple-Gold Bells (like a dog collar), and explains the Lore of what went down.

Lore:

Turns out that when the King of Scaret-Purple Kingdom was a young man, he shot and killed two peachicks while hunting. The peachick's mom? Oh you know, Mahāmāyūrī. The same primordial peacock-phoenix who's the Buddha's mom?

So yeah, Mahāmāyūrī (Peng's sister btw) cursed the then-Prince to be separated from his true love, as he'd separated her from her children. Guanyin was witness to this sentence, as was her current steed; The Golden Haired Hou. The unicorn-wolf decided "why the heck not?" and steal the future king's love for himself - breaking through his chain leash when the watch-disciple in charge was asleep.

Golden Haired Hou = Sai Tai Sui.

In other words he's another Celestial animal giving demons a bad name.

End of Lore.

Wukong: "I'm gonna kill this guy." Guanyin: "No. No killing." Wukong: "Seriously!?" Guanyin: "Killing him would be merciful. I'm going to strap his own weapon to his body and trap him in the South Sea so that he can't walk the mortal plane ever again. If he ever defies this sentence, then you can kill him" Wukong: "Ok! That punishment is more like it!"

Sai Tai Sui is a curious case in that; unlikely many threats faced by the PIlgrims, he did not try to hide his actions behind "Well you got 80-something trials to face, and I was available" rather he was a genuinely evil creature who exploited Mahāmāyūrī's sentence to chase his dark desires. And unlike the earlier Kui Mulang - who courtnapped out of genuine, misguided love for a woman who did not remember her past life with him - Sai Tai Sui was motivated by sexual sadism.

Also though Guanyin doesn't want their steed killed, they do not forgive Sai Tai Sui - instead condemning him to an eternal imprisonment in the South Seas, unable to leave less he invokes a bounty on his head from all the Buddhist and Taoist pantheon.

You know it bad when the embodiment of Mercy and Forgiveness is like;

It's really dark story arc in that it deals with some nasty stuff done to women. Stuff that Wukong himself is in danger of since Sai Tai Sui has powers exceeding his, and has no qualms SA-ing his servants/captives.

You can imagine why Sai Tai Sui isn't explored in adaptations much. Amongst all the murder, monk-eating, and treasons; this guy takes it a step farther.

Also rare occurrence; Tripitaka didn't get kidnapped this time. Though considering what Sai Tai Sui does to his captives that's probably for the best.

I'm using the Yu and Jenner translations of Jttw as reference, with help from this cool Chapter-by-Chapter Summary of Jttw to break down the info.

#jttw #journey to the west #sa tw #sun wukong #sai tai sui #jupiter's rival #guanyin #i dont even know how to tag this tbh

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additiva · 2 months ago

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Y'all. Having a (different) interesting comment exchange on the last chap of Frechheit. Much more pleasant this time, the most respect and kindness to this lovely commenter.

Would be interested to hear other people's perspectives on this -- on your experience of reading these themes in the fic.

Of course what I try to write and what you guys read are not always the same thing.

Feel free to scroll past, but alternatively, lemme know what you think/what your experience was/is this makes sense. Can comment or DM or anonymously ask, or comment anon on the thread on AO3 if you prefer.

I've put it below the cut.

Here's the lovely comment from OP:

I appreciate your willingness to hear me out on this! I can’t speak for all readers of course, but this is where I am coming from:

When SA was first introduced in the fic, I didn’t think anything of it beyond, “I see how this trope fits this vibe”. As you said here, we have a young pretty desirable Charles who’s made himself such a hot commodity and doesn’t want to rock the boat. It makes perfect sense to me narratively as a fic trope, and lends itself to various hurt/comfort scenarios. I thought it was successful as a plot point.

What I found really jarring was the jump from that to the plotline being used as a jump-off point for a broader conversation about systemic abuse in F1. As you said in that same post, F1 does have issues with abuse of power, but I struggle to see it as a solid parallel because… drivers aren’t the victims. (I think there are criticisms to be made about the commodification of athletes’ bodies in sports, but sexual assault is not a systemic issues from which male F1 drivers suffer). Being blunt, they’re more likely to be the entitled rich men making people around them uncomfortable rather than the other way around. (This isn’t about Charles or Max specifically; I mean it in a systemic way) Obviously RPF fic is all about picking and choosing which part of the sport we want to engage with, but I found the bait-and-switch from what was essentially a whumpy trope (which lives firmly in the ‘fictional’ real of my mind) to “Okay let’s get more #real about this” really jarring. I remember I had to walk it off, and it wasn’t because the fic included SA. It was because the story framework shifted, and a fictional SA plot point suddenly became in dialogue with real life sexual assault. It jolted me out of the story, and I didn’t comment on that chapter because I didn’t know what to say; even after the chapter settled with me, I felt (and still do) not wholly at ease that real-life systemic abuse that is so rooted in misogyny (regardless of sexual orientation, patriarchy means that the people overwhelmingly most likely to suffer when abuse of power turns sexual are women) was used to reinforce what’s essentially a fictional plot point. I hope it’s not overstepping of me to say this in particular, because I understand that plot point is a way you as the author chose to work through your feelings wrt that particular situation. I think I would have been less affected by a fic that had framed itself from the start as less nuanced and a ‘breezier’ read, but so many things in Frec are very well-reasoned and ask the reader to engage with the story on a deeper level, and to immerse themselves in the world of the fic. So my experience was like… I started reading the fic and I gladly suspended my disbelief going down the plotline where shady F1 sponsors systematically preying on pretty drivers is an actual societal issue; this is fiction and it’s extremely well written, why not. And then I felt like I was suddenly bait-and-switched with “real life misogynistic abuse is being introduced as a way to reinforce this plot point from which a RL straight man who’s being fictionalized as queer now suffers”, and it shattered the barrier between RPF and RL, badly. It made me expect much different things from the story and its characters. It’s suddenly turning the RPF version of a prominent fic character into his real-life abusive counterpart, and it’s making the character I was previously rooting for inherently complicit. And it’s making the kind of demographic who, irl, are more likely to be the guys holding up the structures of systemic abuse into the victims. After that, the Horner side of the plotline was kinda dropped until the very end, which makes total sense from a storytelling point of view, but it means that readers never actually get closure from the role that fic!Max now plays in it.

I really hope this doesn’t feel like a takedown of your story, because I enjoyed the fic a lot before that, and I can enjoy some parts of it after. But since I brought up this whole thing to begin with because you’ve said that some chapters got a weaker response, I will say: as a reader, I wouldn’t balk at a darkfic about poor Charles being victimized by evil sponsors and burning Ferrari to the ground after, if it introduced itself as a darker, whumpy fic from the start, and was straightforward about the nature of the work. There IS an audience for those fics and I don’t think you should worry about lack of response. It’s just that I (speaking for myself but I doubt I’m the only one) would struggle to connect with a story if it started drawing explicit parallels between a dark plot point and anything IRL, because it would yank me back to the real world hard, and shift my mind back into a mode where I am far more critical about the way said abuse is framed and discussed.

(If relevant, I also DO enjoy fics that are upfront in addressing the inherent dark nature of F1 more realistically, but once again I prefer it when they are upfront about it from the start, and skirt closer to what’s more plausible. For example: a fic reckoning with abuse of powers in F1 where the drivers are shown more explicitly to be part of the problem — this one comes to mind; or a Rule 63 fic where the Charles going through years of brushes with SA was a woman. I understand if you personally don’t want to go there, most fics choose not to, but I think if a fictionalized story chooses to engage with those specific RL issues, that can only be done effectively by being upfront about the reality that those issues exist within the context of a patriarchal society.)

This is probably a mess of a comment and if it feels unnecessarily harsh please feel free to delete and never address it if you’d rather. I hope this won’t demotivate you as a writer and that the thousands of (deserved) praise comments on this fic can keep your spirit high. But I hope these thoughts can have some value for you as a writer going forward and that’s why I am sharing them

And this is what I've replied:

(ignore the formatting tags sorry)

Ooh okay this is interesting. I want to try to phrase this right. It'll be a 2 parter. Tell me what you think after reading.

So yes. You're right. I'm a she/her, so I'm very well aware of the horrors of misogyny. Patriarchy is a huge part of this issue in real life, and it's tied deeply into misogyny. And that's true of the real life Christian Horner Situation too.

In my writing, things have obviously come across to you as using the real life situation to reinforce a fictional plot point, and although it does function that way, that wasn't my intention.

Frechheit is fiction. That's absolutely true. But it's based in an extrapolation of truth, at all stages, even if it's not obvious at every stage. It was never about putting the names of random people onto a completely unrelated situation. It's an abstracted exploration of real life themes in F1 and in the real drivers' public lives. I don't pretend to know them or know their private lives, but it's a reflection of the versions of themselves they present, and an exploration of that in a variety of ways.

I can understand why it would be jarring and frustrating to feel like misogyny as an issue is being ignored just to further a plot point, torture a character, and create shock value.

Obviously there is an element of shock value, but to me, it's actually the reverse. Charles in this is a proxy-female character. In the absence of a prominent female character (sorry, Frech does not pass the Bechdel test, I know. I'm ashamed), Charles serves as a proxy. He's afflicted by many of the key features that I consider as underpinning patriarchal oppression.

He's someone for whom beauty and appearance hold a lot of weight. He's someone whose career and success depend on being likeable, so much so that his talent is consistently underestimated. His successes are often attributed to luck, rather than skill. He suffers the victim narrative, and the press constantly overlook his intelligence and agency. That's why no one can fathom him as a manipulative figure, except Max.

He encounters benevolent sexism, in that he suffers with others trying to protect him, rather than respecting his decisions and agency.

Sexually, he's also positioned in a more feminine-coded role, which causes Max to also struggle to conceptualise Charles as the full, complex human being he is. Max has to learn to stop infantilising him, even when he's already deeply emotionally attached. He already loves him, but he has to learn to respect him.

Charles obviously weaponises his feminine traits, but he's been forced to do so, to succeed.

One purpose of having Charles in this role is that, throughout the story, he's gradually positioned to represent the vulnerable people Max has previously disregarded - in this case, the woman at Red Bull.

Max is never going to experience misogyny. Charles is also never going to have the full experience of it, but he experiences some elements in this fic.

But in this case, because he's male, I simplified the language of it to: abuses of power, which is a wider societal issue that, to me, encompass misogyny and other forms of bigotry (e.g. homophobia, which they also face briefly).

One purpose of having Charles experience this is to bring it closer to Max, who has no opportunity to be directly affected by it, as a (gay) man with wealth and power.

It's actually to demonstrate to Max that he, and the people he cares about are all vulnerable to harm from the systemic problems in the sport, that he specifically has ignored opportunities to improve. Even when he's thinking about how Charles is talented enough to have made it without all this, then thinks about his dad's influence, he's realising that he would also have been vulnerable to these things, if he'd not had the advantages his dad's history brought. Talent isn't enough.

Previously, to this Max, and to the rest of them, it was a far removed issue. He wasn't personally or emotionally affected by it. It was, as Charles says, a distraction from the important thing - the driving. He didn't have any concept of the scale of the harm to the individual people involved, because he had to cultural access to the experiences of women in that position.

The purpose of having Charles experience this, was to bring it closer to Max, and force him to question his own past perspectives and behaviour.

As Charles says: what's the difference this time? Would it be fine if he was a woman? Or if he wasn't a driver? Or if he wasn't with Max?

And because Max cares so deeply for Charles, his answer to those questions is no. There's no circumstances under which Charles, or anyone, should ever have to be faced with any of these issues. There's no world in which these issues should be allowed to continue to exist, and be facilitated by the system.

And that forces him to reconsider his previous perspective as a bystander.

The whole fic, Max is wrestling with realising that the world is a lot more complicated than he realised. And for all of his faults, Charles knows that much better than he does. But Max is trying to learn - at first to defeat Charles, and then to help him, and THEN because it's the right thing to do.

It's intentional that Christian is a positive character the rest of the time. In THAT chapter, he hugs Max and reinforces his unconditional support for him. It's intentional, because Max is our narrator, and these things aren't black and white. No one is all good or all bad. That's true in real life too.

So suddenly Max is forced to recognise that just because someone is good to him, doesn't mean they're without faults. It forces him to recognise that his comfort, and the comfort of people he loves, are contributing to the harm other people are suffering under the system they live in. And the only reason he can have that realisation is because his emotional attachment to Charles is strong enough to force him to do that work. Only his love for Charles is enough to force him to scrutinized himself and his own loved ones.

He recognises that if he'd taken steps to protect others in the past, he'd have protected Charles, too. But he didn't, because he didn't feel its proximity to him.

And I think that's a major issue for many people. Any issue is easy to ignore, when you're not immediately affected by it.

So in this case, Max comes to understand how he failed that woman at Red Bull, BECAUSE Charles uses himself as a symbol of vulnerable people.

The point is that it's always been a problem, but it had to come so close to Max for him to see it and recognise it as such.

He wasn't a bad person, he was just ignorant. Like a lot of people.

And actually, Charles is also sort of complicit in the system, even as a victim. He accepts the harm he's experiencing as an unfortunate but necessary sacrifice to reach his ultimate goal, and in doing so, he also sacrifices a potential opportunity to help those even more marginalised than him. Again, it's only when he recognises obvious evidence that it's affecting other people he loves, that he accepts that he needs to be a part of changing the system, rather than trying to thrive within it.

The Horner plot point is then dropped, because Max has to spend time reconciling it in his head.

And yes, it's narratively convenient to say that Charles wants to focus on the championship, as he always wanted to, and so that's what they do. And also I wanted to story to end on a relatively lighter note and have them return to their old dynamic in some way, stronger for having come through these difficulties together.

I know it's an unpleasant shock, to suddenly have negative things unveiled about characters you'd been liking or rooting for, but that was also intentional. Because again, no one is all good or all bad. Frech does, for the most part, present a rosy view of most characters, to soften the blow of a lot of the themes.

But throughout the fic, Max is having his worldview broken down. He's recognising that nothing is simple. None of his relationships are simple, the world he lives in is not simple, and he himself is also not simple. He's also not a pure protagonist. He has to wrestle with his own failures. He has to wrestle with the depth of Charles' manipulations, whilst still loving him.

And you're right that the drivers etc irl are more likely to be part of the problem. Max represents that in this story. Again, as someone we've come to love, but who needs to recognise his failures and do better.

It's not impossible to me that young drivers could genuinely suffer these harms - I DO think they'd hide it. It's obviously more common with female athletes, but it's not limited to female athletes. It's exacerbated by misogyny, but to me, the overarching issue is abuse of power, not limited by gender. When a system allows people to take advantage, they will.

The aim isn't to minimise the role of misogyny, and the oppression feminine-presenting people experience. The purpose was so introduce it in a slightly subtler way and position this very familiar, much loved character (who were already attached to) as a representative of all victims of the system. THEN to reveal him as a representative of that, when Max (and we) are already so invested that the emotional labour of empathizing with that woman and other potential victims, is unavoidable.

One other thing of importance is that I didn't want to belabour the Christian Horner Situation too much, because we don't know the full, nuanced truth of it and I don't want to sensationalize it or misrepresent it. So the description of it remains vague, in that it's a situation Charles identifies with, regardless of the details.

I wasn't really trying to use SA as just a whumpy plot point in this fic, which is why Charles doesn't go through worse, although obviously it also serves that purpose. No disrespect to that, people can explore themes however they want. But I was trying to explore it in a broader, more nuanced, considered way that's more about the system that facilitates it.

I think fanfic is valuable to look at the real world in a slightly more oblique way. Yes I could've written an exploration of sexual harrassment with a rule-63, but in some ways that would be overly stereotyped, to me. In some ways, that would reinforce it as a female issue. And yes, it disproportionately affects women. But it's not an issue with women. It's an issue with men. It's an issue with predators.

The purpose of it in this fic is to broaden the relevance and impact of it, and make characters face the irl issues in different ways.

It's just one of the elements of the fic, so it's not going to be a perfect, complete exploration of it. It's not even REALLY the main theme, to me. It's just part of Charles' story that I tried to treat in a deliberate way.

I know a lot of people like fic to signpost exactly what's inside, and broadcast it from the start.

That's never going to be me.

I'm presenting a reality as a character is experiencing it, which is why I write in the way I do. It's intentional. There's foreshadowing, but the characters don't know what's coming, and neither do the readers. It's meant to feel more immediate. It's meant to be immersive and intense.

And maybe I suceed, maybe I don't.

I fully understand why you'd have felt uncomfortable, when these themes have come across to you in that way. That's very reasonable.

Ultimately though, I did write it in an intentional way, which I hope I've explained here. Maybe it didn't come across in that way, the first thing I've ever written was Straight-ish, less than 12 months ago, so I'm still learning.

Maybe it will come across that way on a re-read once the details come together, or maybe it won't.

I'd be interested to hear if anyone else had any thoughts on this. Whether my intentions came across, or whether lots of people also had the experience of reading it that you had.

#frechheitfic

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hellframe · 11 months ago

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Henry Winter, flirting

The first day of his visit to Francis’s country house Richard had a little voyage with Henry and Camilla in a boat. And here we have this introduction to Henry’s habits:

“He had a habit, as I was later to discover, of trailing off into absorbed, didactic, entirely self-contained monologues, about whatever he happened to be interested in at the time"

Richard was wrong, of course. Henry’s monologues were not ‘entirely self-contained’, they had particular purpose — at least, two of them were an instrument of mild pressure on Camilla, including this one which Richard heard during their voyage:

"That day he was talking about Elizabeth and Leicester, I remember: the murdered wife, the royal barge, the queen on a white horse talking to the troops at Tilbury Fort, and Leicester and the Earl of Essex holding the bridle rein… Camilla, flushed and sleepy, trailed her hand in the water… It was many years later, and far away, when I came across this passage in The Waste Land: Elizabeth and Leicester beating oars…”

T. S. Eliot left notes for these lines of his poem, citing History of England:

Author of this letter, Alvaro de la Quadra, was a Spanish diplomat and Catholic clergyman, he apparently had a right to marry a couple. For many years Leicester was queen’s favourite and suitor for her hand, but she didn’t want to marry — didn’t want to share her power with anyone, and used her claimed virginity as a political asset. Eventually, Leicester got tired of waiting, and married another woman, which broke the queen's heart.

In view of these facts, the boat scene in TSH looks so ironic. Richard’s surname, Papen, means ‘priest, cleric’ in North German, and he also was a foreign figure in their group, like that Spanish bishop in England. However, Richard wasn't able to marry anyone.

I guess, in such a manner Henry was telling Camilla: "I’m ready to be with you right here, now. But don’t make me wait for too long". And Camilla was flushed, because she understood this reassurance mingled with warning.

Another instance of this mild pressure was quoting passages about Emma Bovary, whose chaotic love choices ruined her life: Sa pensée, sans but d'abord, vagabondait au hasard, comme sa levrette, qui faisait des cercles dans la campagne… “Her thoughts were wandering at first without any purpose” — could it mean "Camilla, make up your mind, or you’ll end up like madame Bovary''?

From Henry’s point these monologues were probably a sort of flirting, an indirect way to show romantic interest towards Camilla.

Come on, Henry, why spend so many words, when you can say Cubitum eamus?

#the secret history #henry winter #camilla macaulay

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imagining-in-the-margins · 2 years ago

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In the Dark (S.R.)

Summary: Spencer comforts Reader following an assault and the nightmares it provoked.

Request: reader is a SA survivor and spence is trying to help her heal; they talk about what changed etc A/N: I went a bit overboard with the metaphors (ba dum tsh). But on a serious note, I hope that this can bring comfort to the women who need it. Thank you to the anon for your patience. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Angst/Comfort Content Warning: 🚨 Metaphors of drowning, blade to throat, broken glass, cuts on throat, siren mythology, pirates; alludes to and mentions previous SA/r-pe; police encounters; PTSD, nightmares, crying 🚨 Please take care and remember you deserve to be happy, healthy, and safe. Fanfic is not worth sacrificing your mental well-being. Word Count: 2.2k

MASTERLIST

⚠️ PLEASE REFER TO CONTENT WARNINGS ABOVE ⚠️

I’ve suffered with seasickness ever since I was a child. In this metaphor, though, the sea is not made of water. Instead, it consists of the hungry stares of insatiable men. I could always feel their sickening stares the same way I could smell salt on the ocean. My stomach churned as I clung tightly to the side of myself, their vessel, wondering whether I’d fare better with the water.

I could hear the sirens screams tearing through my ears and I wonder why the men mistook it for singing. Bile rose through my throat in the shape of an objection. All that came out of my mouth was a waterfall. All that I tasted was sweat and blood and seawater.

I have no memory of jumping overboard. But as I was embraced by icy water, I remembered that Spencer once told me that asphyxiation is the most painful way to die. It didn’t feel that way, though. Instead, I felt at peace as the abrasive salt scrubbed my skin free from the layers of sludge left behind from their stares.

The sirens are still screaming, though.

I think I was, too.

I woke with a jolt in the shape of two arms wrapped tightly around my body. Instinct ignited in the worst way, and before I knew it my nails and teeth became talons and fangs. I sought to draw blood before I’d even heard his voice.

“It’s okay!”

He sounded scared. But in the moment, so was I. I could taste the saltwater of my tears and I mistook it for the ocean.

“Help!” I cried like there was some boat in the distance. I paradoxically clung to his hands while trying to rip my way free.

He didn’t budge as he yelled back, “It’s me! It’s Spencer!”

My body fell limp all at once. His didn’t.

Men rarely let their grip falter.

My stomach churned harder as I tried to swallow the resentment.

“It’s me. It’s alright. Everything is okay.”

He whispered when he spoke. His voice was meant to be soothing but the shame had already set in and drowned out anything else. The paranoia and memories were crawling under my skin for the whole minute he held me in the silence.

“Let go please.”

He didn’t hesitate. He let me go.

He didn’t move far, but the distance was both comforting and unsettling. I basked in the power of being alone while simultaneously berating myself for having said please at the end of it.

“Can I stay?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

He wouldn’t hear it for what it was. That begrudging sound was anything but. It was a beg.

Please stay. Please stay. Please stay.

“Thanks,” he offers.

I wondered if that would ever be enough.

It doesn’t feel like allowing his staying a thing to be thanked for. If anything, I wanted him to leave because I knew what would happen next. I didn’t want to watch him struggle to explain why he loved me any more than I wanted to be alone.

Please leave. Please leave.

Please leave me.

But Spencer stayed. He stayed like he always does, sporting comfy, non-threatening pajamas so when the police respond to the inevitable report of a woman screaming for help, he doesn’t come off as suspicious.

They wouldn’t believe him anyway.

They never believe the right people.

I peered around the corner of the hallway with a blanket wrapped tightly around my body. I was not cold; I was dripping with sweat. My hair was matted to my skin, but I couldn’t let it go. I didn’t even want the air to touch me, much less the hungry stares of insatiable men.

“I’m really sorry,” Spencer said, and I hated him for apologizing the same way I had. “She had a nightmare. She didn’t mean to bother anyone.”

“We can’t ignore calls like this,” a strange voice said.

Goosebumps rippled over my skin, not from fear, but unbridled rage. My hair stood on end because it was too afraid to touch me in that state.

“I understand that, but I really don’t think it’s healthy for her to go over this again. It’s the middle of the night,” Spencer replied with his own heavy dose of resentment. When the other men started to speak, he swiftly cut them off. “Did the last officer not explain this in his report?”

The sound of my bare feet padding against hardwood told me that I was moving. I felt the cold winter air kiss my burning face and offer a relief that still felt like a punishment.

It smelled like cologne and gunfire.

In my head, all I could hear was the screaming from all the women they’d tossed overboard. They went quiet all at once when my hand found Spencer’s forearm.

“It’s alright, Spencer,” I offered with a fake smile. I turned to the other men, forcing myself to maintain the shape of my mouth.

My cheek twitched under the pressure.

“What do you want to know?”

Any answer offered would be fake and spoken softly, so as to not scare them.

The older of the two officers tilted his head, scrutinizing my false smile with an obvious distrust. He looked at me the way young men look at dolls before they tear their heads from their shoulders and light their hair on fire.

“Are you alright, ma’am?” he asked.

No. I was raped.

“Yes,” I said softly.

“Are you sure?” he persisted.

My lips trembled and my teeth fought to be bared. The smile collapsed into a flat line much like my heart had the last time I called and no one came.

Why didn’t you listen when it mattered?

“Yes,” I said with a hard swallow and a tired voice, “I had a nightmare.”

The mask had broken and taken any trust with it. The strange men had picked up the metaphorical pieces and were now holding them against my throat. I could feel the cutting sensation digging deep enough to sever vocal cords to stop the screaming.

The younger officer placed a heavy hand on Spencer’s shoulder as he stepped into our home.

Spencer instinctively stepped further in front of me. While I accepted his shelter, my eyes sharpened to daggers driving into the older man.

“Can you come with me into the other room?” his partner said to mine.

“I’d like him to stay,” I said firmly. My voice was louder than before, and so were my eyes. “I don’t like being alone with men I don’t know. Especially ones with badges and guns.”

They both took a step back. I reveled in the power that I got from their fear. The reprieve only lasted for a second before it was once again replaced by my own fear.

“Right, I’m sorry,” the young man offered.

Yeah right.

They were invited in even though they were not welcome. We sat at my kitchen table, and I stared at coffee rings burned into the wood— wondering whether the wood could feel the burning bottom of the mugs. I wondered if it could smell the coffee and the rot that would follow.

I told the officers I was sorry for the inconvenience, but I wasn’t. I didn’t feel anything at all. Nothing but the unsettling churning of salty waves in my stomach.

After I’d recounted enough of the gruesome details, they offered their condolences that felt empty. They told me that I had options. They promised me that it would be different this time.

I thought to myself that the only reason they believed me was because they saw the wounded animal in me. Whether they were good men or not, they were men, and they only feared the retribution of relentless waves pounding at their doors.

As they disappeared into the night, I wondered how they were so familiar with what broken women looked like.

I didn’t want to think about it anymore.

When they made their exit, I remained at the table. I stayed staring at the warped wood in front of me and wondered if it had ever dreamed of being driftwood.

The chair creaked against Spencer’s weight as he took the seat closest to me. He placed a hand palm up on the table in offering. After a few moments without an acceptance, he turned it against the table.

“How can I help you right now?” he asked.

I answered honestly.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know how I’m feeling, much less how to make it better.”

Spencer was quick to respond because he’d had this exact conversation more often than I’d ever know.

“That’s alright. That’s my job, not yours.”

My eyes finally moved from the wood where his hand rested. I turned to the man I loved more than anything and I found him there. His gaze was overflowing with kindness. I tried so hard to suppress the rage.

Like a current caught between ever-shifting fronts, my mind spun into chaos while trying to find a balance. The tears had long since turned to vapor that began forming dark, angry storm clouds.

Spencer stayed, like he always did. He waited patiently for the disaster, and it arrived.

“Why do you lie?” I asked with voice like crackling thunder.

“What?”

“Why do you lie to people this happens to?” I repeated.

That time his answer was far from prompt. He struggled to find anything to say that might be a sufficient response, but he was ultimately left with a heartfelt admission.

“I�� I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t understand.”

I bit my tongue before it could strike. I held onto the muscle until it calmed and tasted of iron. I arranged storming thoughts into patient requests because I knew that the man sitting next to me never intended to hurt me.

It would be different this time.

“When it happened to me, everyone said that it would get better,” I explained. My timbre became tumultuous as I tumbled my way against the quickly forming cyclone in my chest. “Everyone said that I would stop feeling so afraid every second of my life. And that part is true. The fear is gone. But it isn’t better, Spencer. It’s not.”

The ticking of the clock told me that time continued. I took in a deep breath and hoped it wouldn’t provoke a hurricane. I pleaded with myself to not leave destruction in my wake.

I was not afraid of men; I was not afraid of myself. I was suspended, stuck in a place where things like ticking clocks were nothing but a reminder that the world was continuing without me.

“No one ever talks about what happens after the fear fades away,” I said when Spencer didn’t speak. “The fear is terrible, but it keeps you alive. And when it’s gone you just…”

I placed both hands on the edge of the table and held on for dear life. My knuckles blanched against something beautiful that could turn to detritus in a second. I pressed down against the wood like we were nothing but jetsam, tossed aside to lighten the load of others.

I held the table because it seemed like the only thing left to keep me afloat. As the water dripped from my chin, I wondered if I would pull us both under.

“Drift,” I whispered softly, so as to not scare him, “You just drift.”

Spencer’s hand covered one of mine. His soft fingers massaged angry knuckles until they, too, became soft.

If my thoughts were an ocean, he did not fight the current. Spencer embraced crashing waves and offered the saltwater a place to rest. He projected light into the darkness, forever swaying and searching for the lost souls floating out to sea.

Spencer held my cheek gently and guided me back to him. I looked into his eyes and saw my own reflection in the dim light.

My lighthouse was not a warning but a voice beckoning to me to help me find my way home.

“I’m not going to let you drift away,” he promised, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Slowly, the rain poured over the sea. My tears broke into heavy sobs that seemed like they would never end. I threw myself onto Spencer like waves against the beach. I held him tightly, pulling pieces of him into my heart and leaving behind the flotsam of other men.

“I love you,” he said despite my never having asked.

I felt bile like saltwater rising in my throat. For a moment, I am worried that I might drown.

But then his lips pressed softly against my forehead as I clung to him. Sun-kissed sand felt warm and did not sting. His love stuck to my skin with the promise to leave whenever I wanted him to.

My lungs fill with fresh air that does not smell like rotten wood and regret.

I am breathing.

I am breathing again.

(Tell me what you thought about this piece here!)

Looking for more comfort? Spread the love and check out my lovely friend @foxy-eva’s SFW Masterlist here. She has a whole section for comfort ❤️‍🩹 (and a bonus Tara comfort fic here)!

#spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid/reader #Spencer Reid/you #Spencer Reid angst #Spencer Reid comfort #dr spencer reid #ssa spencer reid #criminal minds comfort #criminal minds angst

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turtletaubwrites · 1 year ago

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Take Me With You

Chapter 4: I Feel Safe With You

THIS FIC CONTAINS DARK CONTENT. 18+ ONLY. MDNI. HEED THE TAGS.

Pairing: Buggy the Clown x Fem!Reader

Chapter Summary: You get acquainted with your new home, and Buggy wants to keep you close. Some freaks may not be thrilled with that. Get to know the ship, her crew, and what your days will look like as you train to be Buggy's star.

Word Count: 3117

Take Me With You ~ Masterlist

Ao3 Link

Author's Note: Non-Con is not described, but the Reader murders their unnamed abuser with Buggy's help. Reader experiences a lot of feelings of hatred and trauma. Buggy is a villain in this story, except for how caring he is toward the reader. This romance is dark y'all, with a bunch of violence and angst mixed in with their sweet love. Please heed the tags, and DO NOT read if any of these themes may be triggering for you.

Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, SA/Non-Con occurred in the past - not described during story, reader murders the abuser with Buggy's help, Reader has symptoms of trauma and dissociation, torturing and murdering an unnamed abuser, Knife Throwing, Buggy understands consent except when it comes to his captive audience of course, Consent, Knifeplay, Eventual Smut, Praise Kink, Angst, Inappropriate Use of Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit Powers, Smut, Dark Romance, Slow Burn, Fluff and Smut, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Rough Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Comeplay, Aftercare, Throat Fucking, Cunnilingus, Hair Pulling, Biting, Overstimulation, Orgasm Delay, Comeshot, Anal Play, Alcohol, Bisexuality, Accidental Exhibitionism, Face-Sitting, Choking, Dom Buggy

Buggy led you through the Big Top on a grand tour of his ship, his home. You started on deck, and could hardly keep up as Buggy pointed at everything in sight telling you their names and functions. You startled when he turned and jumped in front of you, emphasizing his words with gloved hands.

“Don’t worry sweetness, I’ll set you up with a crewmate for more lessons before the pop quiz!”

You laughed, but realized he was serious. He spun on his heel and led you below deck, skipping now and then.

Every crewmate you passed greeted the captain, and most greeted you as well. You’d never been on a boat before, and the gentle waves felt a lot stranger while walking. You caught your hands along the hallway walls a few times, and at one point you lurched straight into Buggy’s back.

His head lifted from his shoulders and turned around to wink down at you.

“You’ll get your sea legs soon, dollface.”

Buggy pointed out all the main rooms of the ship, stating names you didn’t recognize. Buggy was still moving so quickly that you barely had time to pop your head inside to figure out what they were. You definitely wouldn’t have called the bathroom ‘the head,’ so you were glad you checked.

Eventually you found your way to a surprisingly large room filled with weapons, circus props, training dummies, and a small group of freaks practicing their skills. You watched in awe as a thin man in black and white striped tight pants and a loose orange tank top threw cards at a row of potatoes set up on a table. The muscles in his arm tightened under his dark skin with every flick of his wrist. You were impressed that the locs framing his face hardly seemed to move when his arm whipped the cards. Each potato had a card sunk at least halfway through it, and the last was sliced clean in half.

All the pirates greeted the Captain and stopped their practice.

“Nice throw Decker, but make sure you slice them all next time. And get them to the galley when you’re done, we can’t waste a good potato!”

The card thrower nodded with a “yes, captain,” and pulled a card out of nowhere to play with it in his hands.

Buggy’s voice boomed a bit louder than necessary with how close you all were, and he paced slowly as if giving a lesson.

Gesturing to you, Buggy addressed the small group, his eyes scanning them as if ensuring they were focused.

“As you all witnessed last night, Y/N is a natural talent and we’re lucky to have her. But she’s new to this flashy world and we’ve got to get her up to speed before our big gig comin’ up. Patricia, you’ll grab Y/N in the mornings and get her trained up with ships functions and duties.”

Buggy had pointed toward a stunning woman with a tight bun of sleek black hair on her head, and a silver leotard with sparkling green tights. She was poised, perfectly balanced on a medium sized red ball as she affirmed to the captain. She flicked her gorgeous brown, monolid eyes your way with a small smile.

“Stera, after lunch, you’ll teach our new freak how to fight, bring out her claws.”

Your eyes followed Buggy’s hand, suddenly gripping four daggers between his fingers for emphasis. You made eye contact with a short pirate with light blonde shoulder length hair, shaved on one side. Their leather outfit matched well with the black greasepaint smeared around their mouth, nose, and eyes like a melted skeleton. They acknowledged the order and bared their teeth at you, laughing and smiling when you didn’t flinch.

“And after dinner, she’ll be practicing her throws with me. I expect this room to be empty so that the newbie can focus. We need her sharp as a blade as soon as possible.”

Buggy had turned to face you at those words and you couldn’t help but grin at him.

“Dismissed, get your asses back to work!”

His voice had raised too loud again, and his hands flew above the group with a few snaps to rush them, all while he kept his eyes on you.

Buggy jerked his head toward the door, and you walked backwards for a moment to wave at your crewmates. Most had already looked away to resume their training, but Stera gave you a chilling smile and the creepiest wave you’d ever received. You held in a shudder and followed your captain out the door to resume the fast paced tour. You couldn’t help but chew your lip with a small smile at the thought of how cute Buggy was all filled with excitement, and you wondered how often he acts this way.

Finally reaching an area of the ship with more spacious hallways and ornate doors, Buggy stopped next to one and leaned against the wall.

“This here’s yours, love. Two doors down is Cabaji. Mohji’s right there, but he usually sleeps with Richie, and I didn’t want him chewing on this nice wood.”

Buggy patted the door with one hand before turning around and pointing to a set of double doors.

“That’s me. I’ve got a private bathing room that you’re welcome to use instead of the communal one downstairs.”

Shaking your head, your brain worked too slowly for a moment.

“Sh-shouldn’t I be down with the rest of the crew? I don’t, uh, want them to be upset about special treatment.”

Buggy turned on you with a glare that stopped your breath.

“This is MY ship, and those IDIOTS better respect my decisions unless they want to be fed to Richie!”

You watched the veins on Buggy’s neck recede as he slowed his breathing and stepped toward you with a saccharine smile.

“Don’t worry, dollface. You proved yourself to the crew last night and again this morning. You’re a star, and I’m going to keep you close so you can shine for me.”

Part of you told you to be scared of him. But that part of you was shrinking more every moment you spent by his side. You realized you wanted to be as close to him as possible. You sighed contentedly and walked toward the door to your room.

“Thank you Captain, will you show me my quarters?”

Buggy’s almost manic energy returned and he bowed low as he let you through the door.

Dark wood walls and furniture, the curtains, cushions, and blankets all a mix of deep blues, maroons, and golds, with some chaotic accents of circus stripes and polka dots of various colors. A comfy looking bed laden with pillows, a heavy desk by the window, a wardrobe taller and you, and a small vanity all overwhelmed you. You never would have imagined such luxury for yourself, let alone on a pirate’s ship.

“Well,” Buggy asked with impatience in his voice. He leaned his head down toward your face with his eyebrows raised and his arms waving toward the room.

“It’s beautiful, thank you so much,” you breathed out, still stunned. “Are you sure this is okay?”

His eyes flashed briefly but he breathed before nodding.

“I told you, sweetheart, I’m the captain. What I say goes, and if anyone gives you trouble, we’ll use ‘em for target practice, alright?”

“Alright, Captain.”

Buggy pointed out a door to a small room with a private toilet and sink, but no tub or shower. He motioned you back to the hallway, his hands opening the door and guiding you out as he followed close behind. He led you toward his room and you felt your heart rate coursing through you. With another exaggerated bow, Buggy led you through his double doors and into his quarters.

Buggy’s room was an assault on the senses. Where yours had at least a semblance of a color theme, Buggy’s room was as if a kaleidoscope had been turned into décor.

It smelled like Buggy, that citrus, sea salt, and sandalwood you remembered from his blankets last night. You closed your eyes and shivered from the scent before returning to make sense of everything else. His quarters weren’t filthy, everything looked clean. Except that there seemed to be a hopefully organized chaos of items strewn about. A couple trunks of clothes and treasure spilling over, the vanity from the tent was set up in front of one of the large windows, the fading sunlight glinting off the glitter and greasepaint still smeared across, almost artistically. His desk was massive and covered in maps and papers, some tacked up onto the wall. You could see a large doodle of the Marine’s symbol with a bomb and explosion surrounding it.

Buggy’s bed looked so comfortable with its mass of pillows, and you could see a few daggers on the nightstand and the floor near it, as well as a large chunk of thick wood nailed above the bed. The wood was covered in holes and there was still a dagger stuck deep in it above the mattress, as if Buggy tossed it into the air in his sleep. You noticed that there had been some other doodles on that board, but they were hard to make out under the evidence of many sunken daggers.

Buggy smiled at you expectantly.

“Your quarters are amazing, do you throw knives in bed?”

Buggy laughed and ran to pick some up off the floor.

“It’s not like they can hurt me when they fall. I would probably have to move my target board if anyone ever joined me in bed."

Buggy’s eyes widened at his words before he choked out a loud cough and pointed you toward another door.

“Here’s the bathing room,” he declared, his voice once again almost making you jolt with its sudden volume shift.

You followed Buggy through the door and smelled the citrus and sandalwood scent of the soap within. He showed you the towels, and pointed to a blue robe for you to use.

“Anytime you want to have a soak, just knock. I’ll leave and go on deck or grab some grub or something.”

“Why are you being so kind to me,” you asked, your words slipping out before you could stop them. Your breath hitched, afraid that questioning him again would piss him off.

Buggy leaned close to your face, and tilted his head again, as if trying to keep his red nose from getting too close to you.

“Because you’re my freak, of course.”

His words were slow and you heard the slightest emphasis on the word ‘my.’

“Is that alright with you?”

You bit the inside of your lip and nodded, the intensity in his eyes bringing heat up your cheeks.

“Good, it’d better be!”

Buggy’s infectious smile and laughter poured out of him again, and you let it move over you, washing away the shudder at the potential threat in those words.

He’s a pirate. Of course his behaviors are intense, this life takes power and chaos.

You felt your thoughts easing you, reminding you of how amazing all of this was, how grateful you are to be here with him. So what if he’s a little scary, he’s a fucking pirate! And now I am too.

“Let’s hit the galley before bed, you’ve got a big day tomorrow, little star!”

You beamed up at Buggy as he gripped your chin lightly with his thumb and forefinger.

The galley was less crowded than the party last night, it looked as if the crew were eating in shifts. You made your way to grab some food while Buggy joined Cabaji at the elevated table and you saw someone rush food over to him. You knew that you were already getting special treatment, so you found an empty table and sat amongst the crew. Patricia joined you with a smile, a silky pink robe and black slip replacing her silver leotard.

“Are you ready for tomorrow, Y/N?”

You grinned nervously back at her and swallowed your bite.

“I don’t think I have any idea of what to expect, but I’m excited,” you answered honestly, with a nervous laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you up to speed in no time,” her confident smile was reassuring.

“Where did the captain set you up for quarters?”

You couldn’t stop your slight grimace as you told her where to find you in the morning. You held your breath at her raised brows and explained.

“I tried to convince him to put me with everyone, but he said it was his orders.”

You felt embarrassment course through you as you watched her shake her head with a small laugh.

“Well, there’s no arguing with that. We definitely want to get you trained up, there will be some in the crew that’ll want to prove themselves against you.”

You followed Patricia’s eyes to Buggy’s table in the corner to your right. You’d made a point of not looking at him while eating with the crew, but heat rushed through your chest as you caught him staring at you. He had the smallest of smiles along the edge of his lips and you gave a shy smile back. Before you turned away, you saw that Cabaji had been leaning in to speak to Buggy, but his serious gaze flashed toward you.

Patricia’s words felt heavier now as you met her eyes with a nod.

“Thank you.”

You ate slowly after the pressure to prove yourself hitched up, but luckily Patricia stuck around for a bit.

You couldn’t help but like her instantly. Her lilting voice and laughter were lovely, making you want to continue hearing it.

“Get yourself to bed now, I will get you up by force tomorrow if I need to.”

Patricia winked and grabbed your dishes for you.

As you made your way out of the galley, you were disappointed to see Buggy’s table empty.

You have a pretty good memory and sense of directions, but you got turned around a bit trying to get to your quarters. You ended up in another large hallway with some strange smells. You were about to turn around when you heard a low roar.

Smiling, you crept quietly toward the large swinging doors the sound had come from. You were to the side of the door and about to push it in to take a look, but a hushed voice made you pause.

“Did you see the way he stares at her?”

“So what, Cabaji? It’ll be good for the captain to have a little company.”

Your pulse shot up and you pressed yourself against the wall by the door. You told yourself to leave, but you couldn’t walk away from their words.

“I’m leaving for the scouting mission tomorrow. I don’t want to come back to some no talent bitch calling the shots because Buggy’s gone soft.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Shut the fuck up, Mohji! Don’t you get it, he’s distracted. I don’t want our captain to get us all killed because he can’t keep his eyes off some useless girl!”

Richie let out a menacing growl at Cabaji’s raised voice, and you heard Mohji make cooing sounds before replying.

“Don’t be a dick, man. It’s not her fault Buggy’s paying more attention to her than you. Just focus on being a badass, and don’t get killed at the marine base.”

You heard Cabaji huff and were about to leave your spot against the wall.

The doors swung open almost violently, but luckily it just covered your presence. Cabaji sped past on his unicycle as you held your breath.

The sounds of Mohji speaking to the lion shook you out of it. You walked in the direction the acrobat had sped down, hoping it would lead to your room.

It probably would have taken less time if you’d asked one of your crewmates along the way, but you weren’t quite ready to tell everyone where you were sleeping, if they didn’t already know.

When you found your hallway, you tried not to exist as you walked past Cabaji’s room, and you smiled toward Buggy’s as you stepped into yours.

A lamp had been left on by the bed and you saw a pile of folded clothes with a note.

'I scrounged these up for you for now, I hope you like them. If you’d like a bath tonight, just knock. -B'

Buggy’s handwriting was surprisingly pretty, and you stroked the words with your thumb.

You flipped through the clothes, smiling to yourself. You tried to convince yourself to go to bed, but you couldn’t. You picked out some nightclothes and carried them into the hallway, stepping quietly.

Bouncing on your tiptoes with flutters in your chest, you knocked on the Captain’s door.

“COME IN!”

Laughing at his near scream of a command, you cracked one of the doors and leaned your head in.

Buggy jumped off the bed, throwing one last dagger at the board, which promptly fell to the blankets.

“Hey sweets, let me get the bath going for you.”

He moved quickly to the door, stubbing his toe along the way with a “gah, fuck!”

You pursed your lips not to giggle, and followed him.

“You really don’t have to do this, Captain, I’ll be fine.”

“I’m already on my knees, darling,” he winked as he knelt to start the tub. You leaned against the doorframe and enjoyed how Buggy fussed over making the perfect bath for you, even lighting a few candles.

When it was ready, Buggy stood before you, sweat glistening on his skin from the steam. You stared at it, wondering how he looks without his now slightly faded makeup.

His eyes squinted in that cute grin of his and you beamed back. He moved to leave, but kept his eyes on you as he walked away.

“Enjoy your bath, sweets, I’ll come back to the room in about an hour.”

“You don’t have to go.”

Buggy stopped with a soft smile.

“It’s alright, Y/N, I want you to feel safe here. I don’t mind.”

He paused mid breath as your hand reached out to grasp his. He’d removed his gloves while filling the bath and you felt tingling chills crawl up your skin at the feeling of his warm fingers in yours.

“I feel safe with you.”

You were afraid that you’d gone too far by the look on Buggy’s face. He seemed shocked for a moment, almost hurt. You started to pull your hand away but he pulled it to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss along your knuckles.

“Enjoy your bath, sweetheart. I’ll be here.”

Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!

a/n: Will it still count as slow burn if the smut shows up next chapter? 🤔

Chapter 5

Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.

#buggy smut #long fic #smut #angst #buggy fanfiction #buggy x reader #buggy the clown #reader insert #fem!reader #one piece smut #opla smut #one piece x reader #opla x reader #x reader #turtletaub fics #cw dark content

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forwomenbiwomen · 22 days ago

Note

I’m not gonna tell you to dump your bf bc it’s unhelpful and alienating advice imo, but i recommend reading invisible women by Caroline criado-Perez to fully understand and recognise the way that male bias is baked into so many aspects of society and how it advantages all men and disadvantages all women, even when it’s not visible/noticeable. It will also equip you with a lot of helpful vocab. Same with everyday sexism by Laura Bates! Two very easy reads as far as feminist books go

Everyone is raised misogynistic and to prioritise male feelings and perspectives whether they realise it or not, and this creates an invisible bias where men are much more likely to be taken seriously the first time while women have to fight to be considered. Men as a whole interrupt women far more often than each other, and women do not generally interrupt men. Girls are discouraged from stem while boys are encouraged, you can read up on the glass ceiling and how it’s harder for us to progress in our careers because ultimately everyone trusts a man in a position of power far more. girls and women are encouraged to wear makeup and shave and mocked and belittled when they don’t, but boys and men don’t experience this expectation at all. you can talk about how women and men both work 9-5s now yet women still do the vast majority of the housework and childcare, there are lots of studies to back this up. you can also talk about the medical misogyny and how devastatingly common it is for women to have to fight tooth and nail to have their medical concerns taken seriously while men are typically believed first time. I’m also an otherwise privileged white woman in the uk and yet it took me 8 years of desperate attempts to have my PCOS symptoms taken seriously and to get a diagnosis. another big one is just the constant sexual harassment that men typically don’t deal with meanwhile every single woman i know has an SA story, or multiple.

Like others have suggested, you just need to talk about it, not just with him but your female friends and family members too, the more you discuss it the more you see and hear and the easier it is to put into words. and reading feminist works also helps massively too ofc

best of luck!

Thank you so much nonnie!!!!

I'm actually reading Invisible Women (it's amazing) rn but it's slow going bcs I have to stop every five pages out of sheer grief and annoyance

Someone before suggested that I need to get more involved with UK radfems bcs they are in the same boat and I totally agree. I think talking about it with people who know what they're talking about will do me a world of good. Thank youuu!!!

#anon #radical feminism #i love you anon youre my first nice comment #radblr #radical feminist safe #radical feminist community #radical feminists do interact #feminism #radical feminists do touch #radical feminist #radfem #radfems do touch

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 3 months ago

Text

Don’t Go Blindly Into The Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Meanwhile there is a darkness growing in Ketterdam, and it seems a killer may be stalking the streets of West Stave. An unknown evil is closing its jaws over the city, and it’s starting to feel like nowhere is safe.

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus @i-need-help-this-is-my-obsession @devoted-people-hater

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: ptsd, violence, dehumanisation, kidnapping references, imprisonment references, trafficking references, implies sa references, blood and wounds, drowning/fear of drowning, death references, murder references, threats, spiders (a nightmare that involves a venomous one)

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Chapter 53 - Nina

It was almost dawn by the time Nina reached the White Rose, and all she really wanted was a long bath to scrub this entire night off her. It seemed she was going to have to settle for sleeping first, however, and bathing later because the only bathroom in the place with an actual tub was occupied when she returned. There were two indoor bathrooms at the White Rose; the other had a shower that Nina wasn’t a fan of anyway, far less so because the building had no running water. She wouldn’t complain about sleeping, though, not a chance of that; as soon as she’d made contact with her settee she was drifting straight into slumber - and straight into unwelcome dreams.

She was back on the ship, all those endless, terrible nights travelling from the Wandering Isle to Fjerda. Nina wasn’t even supposed to be there, not really, she was too young for such missions. But the Ravkan Second Army had been almost decimated by the Civil War; they needed soldiers, and, oh, how Nina had begged to be one of them. She’d travelled to the Wandering Isle with a small group, the only one she knew beyond in passing being Zoya Nazyelensky, in hopes of rescuing and recruiting more Grisha to join their cause. Nina had been alone when she stumbled headfirst into that Drüskelle camp, and out of any identifying uniform. She did not scream, she pleaded with them in Kaelish instead of Ravkan, not once did she cry out for help. She was terrified, yes, but she was more scared still to expose her team and their mission, of putting Zoya and all the rest of them in danger. She was bound captive on a boat headed to Fjerda, to the impenetrable fortress of the Ice Court where she knew she would be put on trial and then quickly afterwards put to death. Simply for existing. The boat had been horrendous, cages full of terrified men and women, beaten and bloodied beyond recognition, going days at a time without food or water, no way of washing and nowhere to relieve themselves, hands bound so tightly that Nina was left with horrible wounds on her wrists that she’d had to use her Grisha power to repair, and yet there was a strange, small part of her across the entire journey that had not wanted it to end. Because she knew that whatever lay on the other side of these weeks was going to be infinitely worse.

They’d almost reached Fjerda when the storm hit, and Matthias accidentally saved Nina’s life.

The dreamworld’s version of the ship was warped and changed before her eyes, but she knew instinctively to be in the same place. She was on the floor, her hands bound, the tall bars of an iron cage extending high above her head - impossibly high; elongated by the dream. There were no other captives here, so different from the cramped reality, but Nina was not alone. She was staring at a pair of boots, and before she’d even lifted her head she knew that it was Matthias who stood over her. He looked the same. He looked impossibly changed.

“Nina Zenik,” his voice was cold.

What did he intend to do? Apologise, demand apologies from her? Offer forgiveness, or pass sentence and carry it out? Did he intend to be her judge, jury, and executioner? She would never know. He moved as though to kneel before her and the scene melted in time with his step, changed its course to something new; the bars stood between them now, Nina was on her feet and even though he was left invisible by shadows she knew that Matthias was somewhere ahead of her. Was he the prisoner now, or her again? It was impossible to tell; each of them were surrounded by nothing but grey walls of stone, the bars stark and cold before their faces.

She tried to tentatively call his name, but when she parted her lips a spider, almost as big as her own nose, crawled off her tongue and began to climb its way out of her mouth and up her face. Nina screamed, trying to brush the thing away as its thin, spindly legs found purchase in her flesh, and it was thrown by her hand straight through the bars in front of her. Breaths careened through her chest like runaway horses unmatched too soon from their carts as she stumbled backwards and tried to rebalance her footing.

A hand stretched from the darkness and landed heavily on one of the bars, gripping it so tightly the metal might have warped beneath the fingers, and after a moment longer Matthias pulled himself forwards and into view. Nina gasped, rushing forward to him; their hands met between the iron, their fingers intertwined, their foreheads could almost touch.

“Matthias…” she whispered, too many emotions to list imbued upon her tongue.

“Nina,” he murmured, his thumb brushing across the skin of her hand almost rhythmically, soft and comforting, “Röedfetler,”

Little red bird.

“I’m here,” she nodded, pressing her thumb into his palm, “We’re… I’m here,”

She closed her eyes, tears that she both could and could not explain pouring onto her cheeks, an impossible weight collapsing into air inside her chest as though it had never existed in the first place. But then his grip was tightening, panic seized Nina as her eyes flew open and she saw the spider upon the bare skin of Matthias’ neck. It had bitten him; his flesh swelled in an instant, red and pulsating with hot anger. His grip had moved to her wrists now, tighter than she could stand, pinning her in place. She could imagine the bones snapping beneath his fingers with relative ease.

“Matthias-”

The redness of the bite was spreading; his entire form was overcome by the furious fire.

“What have you done?” he snarled, speaking Fjerdan, “What did you do to me?”

The swelling in his neck flared and his hold on her dropped away as he greyed into the hazy edges of the dream, keeling over and vanishing into nothingness. She screamed his name, scrabbled against the ground before the bars, tried to reach through them to find where surely he must be lying in the darkness, he had to be, he had to be, he had to be. Water began to rise from the floor, the room rocked and swayed. It was getting higher by the second, thrown this way and that by the rocking of what had transformed around her from a prison cell to the lower decks of a boat, threatening to rise above Nina’s neck. But she could not stop, could not move, could not stand; she continued to reach madly through the emptiness in front of her, where the bars had been was now empty but for the flood but still she could not find him. The pressure grew against her chest. The boat jolted; Nina was thrown across the space to careen into a wall and now the water was almost at her nose - when had it gotten so high. As she slipped beneath the surface, thrashing madly to try to move, try to swim, try to find a place that she could breathe, bonds began to weave themselves slowly around her wrists. No, no, no. Nina kicked her feet as best she could but now there was something tightening around her ankles as well. The boat jolted once more, the water sloshed, and Nina felt any distant dream of air, of Matthias, of breathing, to be a very childish fantasy.

Matthias was gone. And Nina was drowning.

Shipwreck.

She was thrown from the dream with a harsh crack, almost falling off her settee, a pounding in her head so loud it felt the walls were shaking. Wait, no… no, there was something banging here, in the world as well as inside Nina’s mind. She steadied herself, trying to shake her brain back into attention, and realised that someone was knocking on the door.

“Nina?”

“I- yeah, come in!”

The door creaked slightly as Siobhan pushed it open, a long dressing gown draped over her and tied tightly at her waist, her red hair wet and straggling over one shoulder. She looked at Nina for a moment, a small furrow forming between her brows.

“Are you okay?”

Nina tried to smile, pulling the scattered pieces of herself back into a shivering, temperamental whole that was sure to shatter in the next firm breeze that shook it as she stood to properly greet Siobhan.

“I’m fine,” she managed, though by the look on the other girl’s face not very convincingly, “Thank you,”

Siobhan nodded slowly, a little uncertain, a hand drifting up towards the damp locks of her hair. There was a small towel thrown over shoulder to keep the wet off her white, flighty gown and she began to fidget distractedly with its embroidered edge. Both the towel and the dressing gown were lightly imbued with a swirling pattern of roses along their edges.

“Right,” she nodded, clearly not entirely believing her, “Well, I just came to let you know I was finished in the bathroom. You can go straight in, Petra brought in plenty of water; she said she’d start heating some more,”

Nina managed to smile and murmur her thanks, turning to the little wardrobe to find her own towels. She was only slightly surprised when she turned to see that Siobhan was still standing there; she was expecting her to be there in that she hadn’t heard he leave, but she wasn’t sure what she was waiting for.

“Did you-?” she broke off, then tired again with: “I mean… that girl that they’re looking for, the one who broke her contract with the Willow Switch…”

Nina felt herself tense involuntarily, and hoped it hadn’t been noticeable.

“It was her, wasn’t it, that you asked me about?”

“Asked you about?” Nina frowned.

“A little before the arrest warrant came out,” Siobhan had now moved on to fidgeting with her sleeve, her neatly manicured fingers almost digging straight through the weave of the fabric, “you asked me if I knew of a girl at the Willow Switch and I’ve been thinking about it and I’m sure… I’m sure you said Jeluna Kir-Mai,”

Nina opened her mouth, closed it again. Shit. What was she supposed to say now?

“You did, didn’t you?” Siobhan’s eyes scanned over her, studying her intently for every non-verbal response Nina was trying so hard to restrain, “I didn’t misremember? It was her?”

“Siobhan-”

Nina tried to step forwards and Siobhan took a frightened pace away from her.

“Is she like the others?” she whispered, backing gradually towards the half-open door, “Like the Leopard? Amethyst?”

“No - well, no Siobhan, look - I can explain-”

“Oh Saints,” she’d found the door handle behind her, was trying to slowly manoeuvre her way into the hallway without taking her eyes off Nina, “Oh, Saints, Nina, it’s not true? Please say it’s not true. You didn’t… you didn’t…”

“No, Siobhan, I swear I didn’t do anything, I-”

“You knew,” she shook her head, still trying to find her way out of Nina’s room without turning, “You knew that she would… She didn’t run, did she? Did you tell them something? She… They… What did you do?”

Nina stepped forwards, arm raised in hopes of closing the door before Siobhan’s voice got any louder, and the girl released a strained yelp as she stumbled away from her.

“Siobhan - I’m sorry - please, just listen-”

She turned and ran.

In retrospect, chasing Siobhan through the White Rose into her own room and slamming the door shut behind her was probably not the best call, but in the moment Nina couldn’t think of anything else to do short of knocking her unconscious.

Siobhan backed away into the farthest corner of the room, bumping up against her vanity, staring at Nina like a lost rabbit facing down the barrel of a hunter’s gun. She looked like she was very much regretting asking the question.

“Nina, please-”

“You tell no-one this,” she hissed, which again in retrospect may not have been the most sensible thing to say, “You hear me? Not a single word,”

Siobhan nodded, over and over, so quickly it looked like her head was going to drop right off her shoulders. Nina watched her, walking slowly farther into the room as she ran her hand along the wall that ran alongside the corridor. She was looking for the peepholes. She knew there must be at least one; she needed to stopper it.

“Someone took her, okay? I had nothing to do with her first going missing, and I had nothing to do with Tara or Amethyst, alright? I promise you that. I don't know who it was, I don’t know what they did, but someone kidnapped Jeluna before that arrest warrant went out and they messed with her head. She doesn’t even remember anything. I found her in the Barrel a few days before the warrant went out, and I tried to keep her safe. I swear to you, I am just trying to keep her safe,”

“How… how did you know that she was gone? Before the warrant?”

Nina took a very slow breath. At least she was talking to her, at least she wasn’t running to find Feliks. She stood up a little straighter, no longer half collapsed against her little vanity, but her eyes were still wary.

“You know I work for Brekker?”

Siobhan nodded.

“After what happened to Tara - the Leopard - and Amethyst, I was worried. I asked him to keep tabs on things, and he told me that something was going on at the Willow Switch so I went to try and find out what was going on,” a slight stretch of the truth, but just barely, and a believable one, “One of the girls there, Kheja, told me that Jeluna was in danger,”

Nina had since been back to the Willow Switch twice, very briefly, with a note up her sleeve in search of Kheja, but she was yet to find her. Yet to pass on the very simple message, written on a curled up scrap of paper in mostly neat Shu characters:

“I found her”

She needed Kheja to know that Jeluna was alive, that she was about as safe as Nina could get her, but after two unsuccessful visits had begun to feel concern sparking inside her for Kheja as well. She was just busy. She must have been. She’ll be back in the foyer eventually.

But right now she had a more immediate problem at hand. Siobhan still looked nervous, and not entirely convinced. Would she go to Feliks, if she suspected Nina was involved with or maybe working for whoever orchestrated these kidnappings? Would she try to send word to the stadwatch? And in that case, had Nina royally fucked up by bringing Kaz and the Dregs into things?

“And Dirtyhands just did you a favour?” she asked, incredulous, “Am I supposed to believe he’s keeping her safe somewhere as well?”

“I paid him,”

There was a brief pause.

“I don’t not believe you…” Siobhan managed, her voice trailing and rising and drifting away like it was on a hike through a rocky mountain range, “You know you shouldn’t have gone to him, though? You shouldn’t get people like him messed up with girls like her. He won’t keep her unless he finds a use for her,”

Nina had nothing to say in response. Had those not been her exact concerns? Was that not the very reason she’d offered to add Jeluna’s debt onto her own? Kaz still hadn’t spoken to her about arranging that.

“Do you think it was the same person? Who took Tara and Amethyst as well?”

“Yes,”

There were no two ways about that. Siobhan deserved the truth, anyway, or at least the closest approximation of it that Nina was able to give.

“Is that why they’ve stopped? Because she ran?”

Nina hesitated.

“I don’t know if they’ve stopped completely,” she said slowly, “and I don’t know how Jeluna got away. But it’s possible that they’re waiting until they hear about Jeluna, to find out if she’s told anyone what happened to her. I don’t… I don’t think that the threat’s over,”

Siobhan snorted a laugh, taking Nina by surprise, and flopped down onto her mattress as she said:

“The threat’s never over, Nina. It just takes different forms,”

A moment passed as Nina tried to figure out what to say. Siobhan kicked off her slippers and pulled her feet up onto the bed, tucking them beneath her and picking up a throw pillow to clutch over her lap.

“You’re not lying to me are you?”

Nina shook her head.

“You swear it?”

“On my life. I have only tried to keep Jeluna safe,”

“Has… has Brekker told you about anything going on anywhere else?”

Nina swallowed. She stepped forwards and gestured questioningly towards the space next to Siobhan on the side of the mattress, who gave a casual wave of permission for Nina to sit down.

The room looked much like Nina’s, a square space with the same white walls, the same eaves, the same flowers on the table, but where the table was at the centre in Nina’s room Siobhan’s was pushed towards the near wall, displaying a tea tray surely to gaudy to actually be useable and only one slender white stool instead of proper chairs. At the centre of the room was the bed, its headboard pressed against the back wall, its white sheets arranged pristinely, usually with a rose-shaped throw cushion lying neatly in between the pillows but that was now sitting on Siobhan’s lap. The smell of the rose perfume was stronger here than in Nina’s room, and she noted the flowers studding the vanity and wardrobe. She also knew that, when in costume, Siobhan often wore the white roses in her hair.

“There was a girl who went missing before Tara did,” she said, trying to keep her voice gentle, “who he told me about when I brought this up to him. I don’t know if it’s connected, but it might be. She vanished from one of the smaller houses, farther South, and was found dead not long after,”

Siobhan nodded very slowly, not looking up to meet Nina’s eye.

“I haven’t heard of anyone going missing since Jeluna,” she said, “When I asked you about her I only suspected something had happened, and was wondering if you might recognise her name. I was also having a shit day and I didn’t put a lot of thought into it, but-”

“Van Eck,” said Siobhan, as though she’d found sudden understanding.

Nina frowned. That was exactly it. She’d had an awful time in court and then had Jesper walk her to and from the Geldstraat in wonderful timing for her to see just how much of a skiv Jan Van Eck was first hand.

“I - sorry?”

“It was when you went to see Councilman Van Eck,” she said, “It put you in an awful mood; you had a go at Feliks,”

Nina nodded.

“You know that put him in an awful mood?” Siobhan watched her for a moment, like she was trying to read something written in between Nina’s eyes in a tiny script, before she said, “I heard Van Eck asked you to go back,”

“Yeah, tonight…” Nina frowned, “I didn’t go,”

Siobhan started to say something that might have been “good” but then caught herself, and instead:

“There’s rumours, you know? About the Councilmen,”

“Van Eck?”

Siobhan nodded.

“And a few others; I heard the name Hoede, from someone who works for him,”

“What…?” Nina swallowed, “What are the rumours?”

“Well, maybe they’re just nonsense but…” Siobhan shrugged, “they’re saying there’s this drug,”

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cunning-of-crab · 1 year ago

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FROM: Episode 58 | The Tides Between Us

transcription under cut:

(Lizzie and Jay in a tavern together)

Lizzie, drunkenly slurring her words:

I just fuckin, I wanna know why your dad sawed my boat in half.

I wanna know how the fuck you got out of that prison and I wanna know who the fuck you wanna be.. because I really thought you were gonna betray them in there. So I’m just kinda fuckin curious that’s all.

Condi: I look at her for a second and I look at my drink - and I pull out the sippy straw and down it.

Grizzly, laughing: Alright roll a con save.

Condi: disadvantage, right? Oh it’s bad. It’s BAD. OH IT’S EVEN WORSE IT’S EVEN WORSE!! IT’S A NATURAL ONE.

Grizzly, laughing: Oh my god, dude. You’re fucking plastered. Yeah dude, your lips are so loose. You’re hammered, man! You’re feeling good though.

Jay: I’m sorry I needed to finish my- my drink for that one. Oh - that hit quick. *INHALE* Holy sh- that’s pow- that’s powerful stuff. Okay so what- what was it? Um, why’d my dad - saw your boat-?

Lizzie, cutting in: Uh just, your dad sawed my fucking boat in half man and I want to know about it-

*Jay starts to cry*

Lizzie: and I - uh -

Jay, now crying: My dad - *between sobs* my dad has a way- of- of breaking things *more sobs* all the time.

Slime, laughing: OH MY GOD

Jay, through tears: Oh god- when I was five I had this toy- I called it- I called it Samantha- It was a little dolly- um, and she was my best friend. Oh god- she was my best friend.

And you know what he did?

He sa- he said I was focusing too much on- *sniffles* - on playing with the toy- and he- and he- and he SHOT IT. He shot it with his gun. *sniffles* oh god-

Lizzie: I was-

Jay: Oh god- I’m sorry I didn’t mean to traumadump on you..

Lizzie: …Holy shit man I- I didn’t wanna know your whole life story.. yeah he sounds like a fucking dick.

Jay, still crying: He’s alright

Slime: He’s ALRIGHT ???

Jay: yknow he always loved me at least kind of.

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throwawayforanaskcauseanxiety · 9 months ago

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Some long thoughts on Angel Dust, "Poison" controversy and "Loser baby"

It's kind of incredible how divided people are on Hazbin. Two creators I follow for various animated media reviews have such different takes it's a bit surreal, but their arguments on SA and Angel Dust are wildly different, even though technically coming from the same place.

First things first, disliking a character, a ship, a song in the show or Hazbin hotel as a whole is fine. Yet, some arguments are better structured than others. There's a lot of discussion and some bizarre misinterpretations.

People who have been victims themselves have quite the different opinions on both "Poison" and Angel dust, and it's fine, as long as the topic is handled seriously and with respect. A lot of people loudly praise it and point out that "Poison" doesn't shy away from showing reality (coping via disassociating), while graphic, the abuse is shown in a 100% negative light, not pulling any punches (regardless of who was one of the storyboard artists). Others say it's gratuitous and uncomfortable. Regardless, Valentino IS an absolute bastard, the abuse is horrifying and its impact is immediately clear.

We can't have any kind of representation if we're too scared to be uncomfortable. Not everything has to be scrubbed clean and palatable, it can be nuanced. Hazbin hotel discusses some very adult topics in an adult way.

It's not "a weird choice for "Poison" to be a catchy pop song" or a mock music video, knowing most of what we were first shown as Angel's persona. Listen to the lyrics, he's literally having a breakdown. It's sugary catchy pop because Angel is trying very hard to disassociate. Just look at how "Angel Dust" acts throughout the series and how "Anthony" does, in most scenes he's scared, panicking or crying.

Secondly, "Loser baby" is very important to both Angel and Husk - it's Husk being both in your face honest, talking about himself, and playful (and self-deprecating). All bark and no bite, a taunt to drop the act cause Husk sees through it, worries about Angel and can relate. Angel doesn't have to pretend like everything's fine and he's this untouchable famous pornstar. I love how Husk is reaching out to Angel and then waiting for a response to take his hand, it's really all in the subtle details.

They're "both losers", however, Angel is not a loser for being assaulted and abused (Husk isn't a loser for being an alcoholic or a gambler), it's about identity. How others identify him, the mask he puts on, and how he should accept who he is on HIS OWN terms. Just as importantly, know that HE'S NOT ALONE.

The song is not comparing "their traumas, SA to a gambling addiction" (obv paraphrasing, still, what...?). Angel and Husk are in the same boat because they sold their souls to people who have disturbing amounts of power over them. They both have to dance to their whims, albeit in different ways, and come to terms with who they are in spite of it. Does Husk's silly song break away their chains? No. Does it help Angel find courage to stand up to Valentino and create some well-needed boundaries? I'd say yes.

Thirdly, twitter is a disease and media literacy is dead. In more ways than one, keeping in mind the countless debunked "accusations" and people getting harassed over valid criticisms (f.e., the pace, progress shown on screen and not or just not liking the show). Things are easily misinterpreted in worst possible ways, the mob mentality around it. Where people take the line "[Alastor] fled with his tail between his legs" and interpret it as "Alastor has a tail CONFIRMED". Goodnight sweet prince, rest in peace.

#hazbin hotel #read the tags please #purposefully keeping it vague #if you go out to harass ANYONE over fucking Hazbin hotel opinions you're flying straight into the sun effective immediately #hazbin hotel poison #angel dust #“we need more depictions of- more nuanced characters-” y'all couldn't handle SU #discussion of SA

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dark-space-between-the-stars · 2 years ago

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Luffy's realization

summary: Luffy peeks at something he shouldn't in your room but can't look away. length: 2k pairing: monkey d. luffy x AFAB!reader cw: this is my first fic ever (please be kind), English is not my first language, masturbation, fingerfucking, unprotected sex, creampie, fluff, luffy asks for consent, post-timeskip!luffy, luffy's animal instincts make him good in bed ig notes: I just did a speedrun on One Piece (currently on episode 891) and have contracted Luffy brain rot illness, this is my first fic so I'm not that good at cw just yet, anyways enjoy!

Contains 18+ content MDNI

The sun had set in the Sunny and after a great dinner most strawhats had clocked in for the night. A few still mingled about the boat, some had lookout duty, some just weren't ready for bed yet, like Luffy, who sat on the Sunny's figurehead for a while enjoying the ocean breeze. After he was satisfied, he climbed down ready to attempt to raid the fridge for a snack to take to bed.

That plan was cut short the moment he passed through your bedroom door and heard a string of whines. He thought you were in pain so he yanked open the door your name on his lips ready to ask if you were okay but it never got out of his throat. He was mute by the sight in front of him.

Your back was on your bed, clothes discarded by the foot of it, legs facing the door. Your eyes were closed in pleasure as you rubbed your clit at varying paces trying to find your rhythm. Your knees flexed and your legs spread as you touched yourself with one hand, your other pinching one of your nipples.

Luffy was frozen on the spot by what he was seeing, at the back of his mind he knew he should close the door and move on since you clearly weren't in any danger. But another, animalistic part of him, kept him there. He kept staring as you moved your fingers from your clit to your entrance as you pressed one, two fingers in. He was beginning to have a strange reaction at the sight, his breathing was catching in his throat, his heartbeat was getting faster but most of all his shorts were beginning to feel tight.

He wasn't completely oblivious to what it was. Once in a while, he has woken up with a tent in his underwear and has learned how to handle it when ignoring it does not cut it. Plus, the two year time skip had made his libido noticeable and Rayleigh had been kind enough to educate him with the bare minimum his attention span had been able to handle. However, he had yet to have this reaction towards anyone.

Shamelessly, Luffy began to palm himself through his shorts. His other hand still on the doorknob. Meanwhile, you were still oblivious, curling your fingers trying to reach that elusive spot inside you with no success yet.

What Luffy did not know is that you were thinking of him while you touched yourself. You were down bad for your captain, starting with an innocent crush two years ago that only grew as you were apart and that threatened to spill out of you after your reunion. The last fight had left you amazed and coiled like a spring at his new power. You had retreated to your room to ease the stress of the fight and the way Luffy had made you feel, even if the man himself was not aware.

Now frustrated with your just a tad short fingers, you retreated them to rub at your clit again. Imagining it was your captain's fingers instead you let out soft moans and whines which went straight to Luffy's throbbing dick. But what finally unfroze him from his spot at your door was the sound of his name coming out from your lips in a breathy moan.

He whipped his eyes from where they had been planted at your heat to your face, face flushing at being caught red handed. Except he hadn't, no, you still had your eyes closed, head leaning backwards towards the headboard.

This peaked his curiosity at a whole other level and he finally moved from the door towards you, closing the door behind him silently. Luffy made his way towards your bed leaned his face close to yours and said "Hey, why did you say my name just now?"

Your eyes snapped open then, locking eyes with the black haired man just inches from your face. You froze all movement, almost screaming had it not been for Luffy's hand covering your mouth. "Woah, don't scream now, it's just me, now why did you say my name?" You flushed bright red knowing you had said it unconsciously.

"I- what are you doing in my room? when did you come in here?" You averted your eyes. "Just walked in, I heard you making noise and I opened the door to ask if you were okay" You feel a hand grab your cheeks and you were turned to face him again. "Now answer my question y/n".

You looked at Luffy this time, really looked. His stare was intense, he was frowning, getting impatient with you avoiding the question, but he was also blushing slightly, his breathing was not even. Your eyes kept traveling down his body until you saw the considerable bulge in his pants, you swallowed hard. You had never seen him like this and weren't sure if you would again so you decided to take a gamble.

You brought your eyes back to his again."I... said your name, because I was thinking of you while I was touching myself" Then you leaned in closer to his ear and whispered "Luffy" it came out of your lips almost like a purr sending shivers down his body. You felt your face warm as you retreated your face.

Before you could do anything else or look away Luffy's lips were colliding with your own harshly. His kiss was sloppy but the passion in it was enough to make you melt. You wrapped your hands around his neck bringing him closer. Luffy climbed onto the bed without breaking the kiss, placing his hands to the side of your face and placing one leg in between yours.

His knee ended right by your heat, applying pressure to your already puffy clit. Your breath hitched and that made Luffy break the kiss to observe your reaction. "Y/n..." he whined lowering himself to place his erection right on top of your cunt. "Can I fuck you?" To emphasize his point he rutted into you whining a bit. "This has never happened to me before, I-" your captain groans into your ear. "Hey, please?"

You were enjoying the friction making breathy moans which just seemed to spur him further, rubbing himself more forcefully but waiting to hear your answer. You had been aching to cum for a while and had gotten impatient so this was a blessing anyway you looked at it. "Yes, yes please Luffy!" You did not want to make him wait either.

You helped him get out of his shirt while you kissed him, leaning back onto the bed to admire his muscles. He was not scrawny anymore, his abdomen more defined than before, his biceps as well. While you admired him Luffy wasted no time removing his shorts and underwear. Hissing a sigh of relief as his chock hit his abdomen. If you weren't drooling before you sure were now. He was bigger than you imagined, with considerable girth though still on the slimmer side and an upside curve.

You swallowed hard, your hand moving unconsciously to wrap around him and give him a few pumps. Luffy groaned, lowering his face to rest his forehead against yours. "F-feels good y/n~" Your toes curled as you continued stroking him, applying a bit more pressure at the tip which made him buckle his hips into your hand.

He grabbed you by the chin lifting your face to meet his eyes, his stare was so intense you could feel it in your core. You kissed again your eyes narrowing letting yourself get lost in the experience. Your mouth was open and he did not waste a second to kiss you with tongue, your eyes widened but narrowed right away as you played with each other, tongues dancing.

You never stopped stroking Luffy and he could feel himself getting closer to his orgasm, but he was not done yet, he wanted to feel himself inside you. He withdrew from the kiss, "Can I put it i-inside y/n? I want to feel you". You knew your captain was honest, but in bed it was intoxicating. You removed your hand to place both of your arms around his neck "Please fuck me Luffy"

Luffy shivered, lowering his hand to your entrance and giggling a bit "You're so wet I don't even need to prep you!" You felt heat rushing to your face and you looked away embarrassed "I like you so I can't help it!" You answered puffing your cheeks. Your brain caught up a second later, you blushed harder, Luffy's honesty contagious.

Luffy stopped his movements, he had lined himself with your entrance already and was about to push in but turned to look at you surprised, a warm feeling in his chest. "You like me?" You didn't turn to face him. "Hey y/n, said that again, do you like me?" He rutted in your slit rubbing your clit with his head which made both of you moan. "Hey y/n! Look at me, I won't go inside u-until you look!" He was putting every ounce of his concentration on his self control.

You were feeling immense pleasure from his tip rubbing into your clit, but you were conflicted, sure you liked him, but did he like you back? Or was he just doing this with you because he could not help himself? You could deal with his answer later, for now you just wanted him inside you. "Yes Luffy I, I like you" you said turning to face him.

"Shi shi shi" Luffy pushed himself inside you in one fell swoop his patience over taking the air from your lungs, he moaned above you as he bottomed out. "I like you too y/n! You make me feel warm inside" You raised your eyes to his face, he was smiling one of his big bright smiles that made you feel as if you were looking at the sun itself, a drop of sweat trickling down his face and you couldn't help but smile back face full of joy.

You kissed, he was not moving giving you a few moments to get used to him. He broke the kiss "Hey y/n c-can I move now? I cannot take much longer" he whined. You chuckled a bit, warmed by his need to get your consent every time. "Please fuck me Luffy~"

He did not waste a second buckling his hips, making powerful thrusts that left you a moaning mess. It was messy, rough but somehow your eyes were rolling back in pleasure. After a few thrust he managed to find your g-spot, you cried out "L-luffy!"

"Oh, you like it here?" He grins thrusting again and again in that spot "Do you?" Luffy asks. You were a moaning mess but you managed something "y-yes! Love it~~ feels good!" "That's good!".

Luffy kept thrusting as best he could but he was close, you felt amazing, your walls clenching him so well he could not hold out much longer. "I-I'm close, gonna cum" he whines. "Hey y/n, can I cum inside, please?" It comes out close to a groan. You curl your toes feeling close yourself with how he's abusing your g-spot.

"I'm close too" You manage between moans. Luffy thrusts harder using his whole hips to create more force making sure to not stray from that spot that makes you feel good. "P-please captain!, cum inside" you whimper. That undoes a cord within Luffy you calling him captain, getting permission to let his load inside you, it was all too much for him hes cumming.

Luffy keeps thrusting while he cums whining from the overstimulation but wanting to make sure you feel as good as he is feeling. His orgasm with his thrusts finally undoes the coil in your core making you orgasm hard calling out his name. You both end up seeing stars, specially Luffy since he was so sensitive and your walls clenching him just made him feel it harder.

You are both panting, coming down from your highs. Luffy pulls out with a small hiss, you scoot to make him space in your bed and he lies down on his back. You hesitantly place your head in his chest and arm around his torso. He immediately wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. "I guess that means we are together now!" He exclaims, beaming. You smile at the ease in which it happens nuzzling your face to his body "I guess we are!" You both giggle.

The End

#luffy x reader #monkey d luffy #monkey d. luffy #luffy #one piece #one piece strawhats #monkey d luffy x reader

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tokiro07 · 1 year ago

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Something I never quite understood is what it is with people and Daisy from the Mario games. Why is there always so much talk about wanting her in the games and hype when she actually is? What exactly is so special about her that gets people like this? I don't think this is a bad thing or anything like that, It is just something that confuses me.

Are you a fan of Dragon Ball? If so, you've surely noticed that the power creep has rendered a majority of the cast irrelevant, with Goku and Vegeta being tantamount to the only ones that really matter in most scenarios, with characters like Yamcha literally not being allowed to participate in fate-deciding battles anymore

You may also have noticed that Dragon Ball Super has more recently been trying to remedy this. Super Hero hardly had Goku or Vegeta in it at all, focusing on how to bring Gohan and Piccolo up to speed, while there was a mini-arc in the manga tying into Super Hero establishing Goten and Trunks as more relevant characters

Fans love that. They love seeing characters who either exist entirely on or who have been pushed to the fringe being brought to the centerstage. There are all kinds of reasons for this, but in the case of Dragon Ball, I think it's a matter of variety vs. stagnation. "Looks like Goku got another power-up that'll serve to elevate him above the rest of the cast and render them useless again"

Daisy is in a pretty similar boat. She's appeared in dozens of Mario titles, but how many of them are the Kart, Party or Sports titles? How many times has Daisy appeared in an actual Mario game?

Once

Daisy first appeared in Super Mario Land for the GameBoy, a spinoff not even made by Shigeru Miyamoto, and even there she was the damsel in distress who didn't actually appear until the end of the game. A very common event for video game characters, especially at the time, but the point is that her involvement in the main Mario franchise is as minimal as it gets

Since then, though, her appearances in the non-platformers have given her a lot of opportunity to flesh out her personality, most notably with how energetic and tomboyish she is in Mario Strikers compared to the more bubbly and girlish Peach

youtube

With their differences highlighted, it was natural that some fans would gravitate more to one side than the other, but Peach is still the main heroine of the franchise. She appears in most if not all mainline Mario games in some capacity, either as the damsel or a playable character, and now has two games to call her own

Aside from Mario and Peach, who else has gotten to be playable alongside Mario? Obviously Luigi as the original player 2, three colors of Toad across Mario 2, New Super Mario Bros Wii and U, Captain Toad in the 3D World minigames, Yoshi and Wario in 64 DS, Toadette and Nabbit in U Deluxe, Rosalina in 3D World, and most recently Bowser Jr. in Bowser's Fury

That's 13 playable characters (9 if you count all of the Toads together and don't count Captain Toad since he's in a minigame), with Daisy notably absent despite being a fan favorite. Toadette being playable was especially egregious because they gave her a power-up that effectively just turned her into Peach with a different outfit. Rosalina was also "just another Princess" same as Daisy, but introduced much more recently, so it felt like they were acknowledging they could bring in any character they wanted, but who would want boring old Daisy when there's a shiny new Princess right here? Not knocking on Rosalina, I love her too, but I've wanted to see more Daisy content since I was a child

Do you remember how excited people were about Pauline showing up in Odyssey? Sure she'd shown up in the Mario vs. Donkey Kong games, but again, those were spinoffs that most people didn't play. This was direct acknowledgment of her character in the main story, and now she's showing up in the Sports titles! Further awareness of the character means more opportunities for something new!

Even if Wonder just took place in Sarasaland and Daisy was a background character, that would have been shocking because it would have been her first time back in 34 years! But no! They skipped straight to her being playable!! This means that she has a much greater chance of coming back to be playable in future mainline games or even spinoffs like the new Peach game or the more story-driven RPGs

Even better, though? This sets a precedent. Who knows who could be playable next?? We could see Pauline be playable for the first time in a mainline game! We could see Wario come back as a Wario Land crossover! We could even see Waluigi actually be acknowledged by the canon for once!!!

Daisy is beloved because of her personality and was wanted as a playable character because of her absence. Her inclusion is a huge deal because it means that Nintendo has actually been listening to us and knows how to give us what we want. It shows growth on Nintendo's part, and serves as a sign that they will continue to give us more of it going forward

#super mario #super mario bros wonder #princess daisy #long post

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roman-catholic-mass-readings · 10 months ago

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30th January >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

Tuesday, Fourth Week in Ordinary Time

Saint Aidan, Bishop.

Tuesday, Fourth Week in Ordinary Time

(Liturgical Colour: Green: B (2))

First Reading 2 Samuel 18:9-10,14,24-25,30-19:3 David mourns Absalom.

Absalom happened to run into some of David’s followers. Absalom was riding a mule and the mule passed under the thick branches of a great oak. Absalom’s head caught fast in the oak and he was left hanging between heaven and earth, while the mule he was riding went on. Someone saw this and told Joab. ‘I have just seen Absalom’ he said ‘hanging from an oak.’ Joab took three lances in his hand and thrust them into Absalom’s heart while he was still alive there in the oak tree.

David was sitting between the two gates. The lookout had gone up to the roof of the gate, on the ramparts; he looked up and saw a man running all by himself. The watch called out to the king and told him. The king said, ‘If he is by himself, he has good news to tell.’ The king told the man, ‘Move aside and stand there.’ He moved aside and stood waiting.

Then the Cushite arrived. ‘Good news for my lord the king!’ cried the Cushite. ‘The Lord has vindicated your cause today by ridding you of all who rebelled against you.’ ‘Is all well with young Absalom?’ the king asked the Cushite. ‘May the enemies of my lord the king’ the Cushite answered ‘and all who rebelled against you to your hurt, share the lot of that young man.’

The king shuddered. He went up to the room over the gate and burst into tears, and weeping said, ‘My son Absalom! My son! My son Absalom! Would I had died in your place! Absalom, my son, my son!’ Word was brought to Joab, ‘The king is now weeping and mourning for Absalom.’ And the day’s victory was turned to mourning for all the troops, because they learned that the king was grieving for his son. And the troops returned stealthily that day to the town, as troops creep back ashamed when routed in battle.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 85(86):1-6

R/ Turn your ear, Lord, and give answer.

Turn your ear, O Lord, and give answer for I am poor and needy. Preserve my life, for I am faithful; save the servant who trusts in you.

R/ Turn your ear, Lord, and give answer.

You are my God, have mercy on me, Lord, for I cry to you all the day long. Give joy to your servant, O Lord, for to you I lift up my soul.

R/ Turn your ear, Lord, and give answer.

O Lord, you are good and forgiving, full of love to all who call. Give heed, O Lord, to my prayer and attend to the sound of my voice.

R/ Turn your ear, Lord, and give answer.

Gospel Acclamation John 14:6

Alleluia, alleluia! I am the Way, the Truth and the Life, says the Lord; No one can come to the Father except through me. Alleluia!

Or: Matthew 8:17

Alleluia, alleluia! He took our sicknesses away, and carried our diseases for us. Alleluia!

Gospel Mark 5:21-43 Little girl, I tell you to get up.

When Jesus had crossed in the boat to the other side, a large crowd gathered round him and he stayed by the lakeside. Then one of the synagogue officials came up, Jairus by name, and seeing him, fell at his feet and pleaded with him earnestly, saying, ‘My little daughter is desperately sick. Do come and lay your hands on her to make her better and save her life.’ Jesus went with him and a large crowd followed him; they were pressing all round him.

Now there was a woman who had suffered from a haemorrhage for twelve years; after long and painful treatment under various doctors, she spent all she had without being any the better for it, in fact, she was getting worse. She had heard about Jesus, and she came up behind him through the crowd and touched his cloak. ‘If I can touch even his clothes,’ she had told herself ‘I shall be well again.’ And the source of the bleeding dried up instantly, and she felt in herself that she was cured of her complaint. Immediately aware that power had gone out from him, Jesus turned round in the crowd and said, ‘Who touched my clothes?’ His disciples said to him, ‘You see how the crowd is pressing round you and yet you say, “Who touched me?”’ But he continued to look all round to see who had done it. Then the woman came forward, frightened and trembling because she knew what had happened to her, and she fell at his feet and told him the whole truth. ‘My daughter,’ he said ‘your faith has restored you to health; go in peace and be free from your complaint.’

While he was still speaking some people arrived from the house of the synagogue official to say, ‘Your daughter is dead: why put the Master to any further trouble?’ But Jesus had overheard this remark of theirs and he said to the official, ‘Do not be afraid; only have faith.’ And he allowed no one to go with him except Peter and James and John the brother of James. So they came to the official’s house and Jesus noticed all the commotion, with people weeping and wailing unrestrainedly. He went in and said to them, ‘Why all this commotion and crying? The child is not dead, but asleep.’ But they laughed at him. So he turned them all out and, taking with him the child’s father and mother and his own companions, he went into the place where the child lay. And taking the child by the hand he said to her, ‘Talitha, kum!’ which means, ‘Little girl, I tell you to get up.’ The little girl got up at once and began to walk about, for she was twelve years old. At this they were overcome with astonishment, and he ordered them strictly not to let anyone know about it, and told them to give her something to eat.

The Gospel of the Lord

R/ Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.

--------------------------------

Saint Aidan, Bishop

(Liturgical Colour: White: B (2))

(Readings for the memorial)

(There is a choice today between the readings for the ferial day (Tuesday) and those for the memorial. The ferial readings are recommended unless pastoral reasons suggest otherwise)

Either:

First Reading Exodus 32:7-14 Moses pleads with the Lord his God to spare Israel.

The Lord spoke to Moses, ‘Go down now, because your people whom you brought out of Egypt have apostatised. They have been quick to leave the way I marked out for them; they have made themselves a calf of molten metal and have worshipped it and offered it sacrifice. “Here is your God, Israel,” they have cried “who brought you up from the land of Egypt!”’ the Lord said to Moses, ‘I can see how headstrong these people are! Leave me, now, my wrath shall blaze out against them and devour them; of you, however, I will make a great nation.’

But Moses pleaded with the Lord his God. ‘Lord,’ he said ‘why should your wrath blaze out against this people of yours whom you brought out of the land of Egypt with arm outstretched and mighty hand? Why let the Egyptians say, “Ah, it was in treachery that he brought them out, to do them to death in the mountains and wipe them off the face of the earth”? Leave your burning wrath; relent and do not bring this disaster on your people. Remember Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, your servants to whom by your own self you swore and made this promise: I will make your offspring as many as the stars of heaven, and all this land which I promised I will give to your descendants, and it shall be their heritage for ever.’

So the Lord relented and did not bring on his people the disaster he had threatened.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

OR: --------

First reading Deuteronomy 10:8-9 The Lord set apart the tribe of Levi to do him service

Moses said to the people: ‘The Lord set apart the tribe of Levi to carry the ark of the Lord’s covenant, to stand in the presence of the Lord, to do him service and in his name to pronounce blessing as they still do today. Levi therefore has no share or inheritance with his brothers: the Lord is his inheritance, as the Lord your God told him.’

OR: --------

First reading 1 Samuel 16:1,6-13 David is anointed by Samuel

The Lord said to Samuel, ‘Fill your horn with oil and go. I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem, for I have chosen myself a king among his sons.’ Samuel purified Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. When they arrived, he caught sight of Eliab and thought, ‘Surely the Lord’s anointed one stands there before him’, but the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Take no notice of his appearance or his height for I have rejected him; God does not see as man sees; man looks at appearances but the Lord looks at the heart.’ Jesse then called Abinadab and presented him to Samuel, who said, ‘The Lord has not chosen this one either.’ Jesse then presented Shammah, but Samuel said, ‘The Lord has not chosen this one either.’ Jesse presented his seven sons to Samuel, but Samuel said to Jesse, ‘The Lord has not chosen these.’ He then asked Jesse, ‘Are these all the sons you have?’ He answered, ‘There is still one left, the youngest; he is out looking after the sheep.’ Then Samuel said to Jesse, ‘Send for him; we will not sit down to eat until he comes.’ Jesse had him sent for, a boy of fresh complexion, with fine eyes and pleasant bearing. The Lord said, ‘Come, anoint him, for this is the one.’ At this, Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him where he stood with his brothers; and the spirit of the Lord seized on David and stayed with him from that day on.

OR: --------

First reading Isaiah 6:1-2,3-8 'Here I am: send me'

In the year of King Uzziah’s death I saw the Lord of Hosts seated on a high throne; his train filled the sanctuary; above him stood seraphs, each one with six wings. And they cried out to one another in this way,

‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Hosts. His glory fills the whole earth.’

The foundations of the threshold shook with the voice of the one who cried out, and the Temple was filled with smoke. I said:

‘What a wretched state I am in! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have looked at the King, the Lord of Hosts.’

Then one of the seraphs flew to me, holding in his hand a live coal which he had taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. With this he touched my mouth and said:

‘See now, this has touched your lips, your sin is taken away, your iniquity is purged.’

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying:

‘Whom shall I send? Who will be our messenger?’

I answered, ‘Here I am, send me.’

OR: --------

First reading Isaiah 52:7-10 Rejoice, for the Lord is consoling his people

How beautiful on the mountains, are the feet of one who brings good news, who heralds peace, brings happiness, proclaims salvation, and tells Zion, ‘Your God is king!’

Listen! Your watchmen raise their voices, they shout for joy together, for they see the Lord face to face, as he returns to Zion.

Break into shouts of joy together, you ruins of Jerusalem; for the Lord is consoling his people, redeeming Jerusalem.

The Lord bares his holy arm in the sight of all the nations, and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.

OR: --------

First reading Isaiah 61:1-3 He has sent me to proclaim a year of favour from the Lord

The spirit of the Lord has been given to me, for the Lord has anointed me. He has sent me to bring good news to the poor, to bind up hearts that are broken;

to proclaim liberty to captives, freedom to those in prison; to proclaim a year of favour from the Lord, a day of vengeance for our God,

to comfort all those who mourn and to give them for ashes a garland; for mourning robe the oil of gladness, for despondency, praise.

OR: --------

First reading Jeremiah 1:4-9 Go and say whatever I command you and do not fear

The word of the Lord was addressed to me, saying,

‘Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; before you came to birth I consecrated you; I have appointed you as prophet to the nations.’

I said, ‘Ah, Lord; look, I do not know how to speak: I am a child!’

But the Lord replied, ‘Do not say, “I am a child.” Go now to those to whom I send you and, say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to protect you – it is the Lord who speaks!’

Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me:

‘There! I am putting my words into your mouth.’

OR: --------

First reading Ezekiel 3:17-21 Warn the wicked man, and you will live

The word of the Lord was addressed to me as follows, ‘Son of man, I have appointed you as sentry to the House of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from me, warn them in my Name. If I say to a wicked man, “You are to die,” and you do not warn him; if you do not speak and warn him to renounce his evil ways and so live, then he shall die for his sin, but I will hold you responsible for his death. If, however, you do warn a wicked man and he does not renounce his wickedness and his evil ways, then he shall die for his sin, but you yourself will have saved your life. When the upright man renounces his integrity to do evil and I set a trap for him, he too shall die; since you failed to warn him, he shall die for his sin and the integrity he practised will no longer be remembered; but I will hold you responsible for his death. If, however, you warn the upright man not to sin and he abstains from sinning, he shall live, thanks to your warning, and you too will have saved your life.’

OR: --------

First reading Ezekiel 34:11-16 I will look after my flock myself and keep all of it in view

The Lord God says this: I am going to look after my flock myself and keep all of it in view. As a shepherd keeps all his flock in view when he stands up in the middle of his scattered sheep, so shall I keep my sheep in view. I shall rescue them from wherever they have been scattered during the mist and darkness. I shall bring them out of the countries where they are; I shall gather them together from foreign countries and bring them back to their own land. I shall pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in every inhabited place in the land. I shall feed them in good pasturage; the high mountains of Israel will be their grazing ground. There they will rest in good grazing ground; they will browse in rich pastures on the mountains of Israel. I myself will pasture my sheep, I myself will show them where to rest – it is the Lord who speaks. I shall look for the lost one, bring back the stray, bandage the wounded and make the weak strong. I shall watch over the fat and healthy. I shall be a true shepherd to them.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 88(89):2-5,21-22,25,27