#potions from your grandma

[paracosm-draw]

They should invent sleep that's actually sleepable

[musubiki]

recently thinking about the concept of a new npc/semi-cryptid healer character: a little (REALLY little) old lady who rides around on a giant animal (boar or something) whose....family(??) has a long history of healing talents through accupuncture, herbal remedies, pressure points, chiropractic things, etc.

the family line/line of practice has a history of very long life BECAUSE of the healing practices, so this little old lady is maybe...150? 170? years old??? shed be the healer the guild goes to, since her remedies are BETTER than mochis magic AND limes tech junk, she can help any one of them without problem

but the odd thing about her is that shes NOT a witch, weirdly. her healing is 100% natural, which means it works on those with high magic res, since it has nothing to do with magic.

i also think the family history would have this weird relationship with witches, where theyre willing to heal them (for a price of course), but they absolutely REFUSE to give their secrets to any witch. "You'll just make it better and put us out of a job." they always say, so even mochi doesnt know what the hell is in that soup shes eating, all she knows is that its capable of instantly restoring 90% of her magic (5 day cooldown before she can drink it again though, lest she die)

[mochinomnoms]

When you posted about twst not having the same foods it made my brain go... "what if their bf really tried to recreate the food based on description only"

Imagine Azul toiling away in the kitchen trying to re-create Bugals from scratch

Jade testing out different combinations of potions to recreate coca cola

Floyd trying to make the grandma candy that taste like strawberries

Jamil fighting with spices to make hot cheetos

Trey baking Twinkees and oatmeal cream pies

Lilia trying to make Macdonald fries but just creating poison

They all understand how food can help with homesickness and they want to do everything they can to help, even if it is trying to make something they have never had before

The ultimate love language is devoting time, money, and materials to recreated your lover's favorite foods. In our world, this could be going to your partner's parents or grandparents to learn their family recipe for a dish, cookie, drink, etc. Or it could be trying to look up a dish that they had growing up, but can't remember. Or maybe it's a cultural dish from their home country that they loved but haven't been able to have because the ingredients are available nearby. Painstakingly measuring, making, tasting, failing and failing over and over again to get it just right. Love is the ultimate love language.

So I think it's beautiful to imagine Azul trying to recreate your favorite dish based solely how you described how it looked, smelled, and tasted. Making the lounge's kitchen a mess until he can get it just right.

Trey calling his parents to describe the sweet treats and cookies you described. They're digging through their recipes so that he can combine and take what he needs to recreate them.

Jade has full confidence in his potion making skills, yet is dumped when you can only describe your favorite soda as "sugary and fizzy." He racks his brain over and over, taste testing the concoctions himself until he's positive they won't poison you, then bringing you into his little sessions to remake your favorite soda together.

Jamil, familiar with some spices and chilies you describe, but the others sound so otherworldly, messing around with the ingredients he's familiar with to make your favorite foods and snacks. He knows they'll never be the same, but that he they are good enough for you to want to stay.

Floyd is nothing if not determined. If he can't make you that candy you love so much, he's going into the ends of the earth to find you his world' equivalent. Don't question how he managed to get over a hundred different candies, some incredibly rare, others expensive as hell. His father has connections and money, it's nothing to spend on you.

And Lilia…well. He means well. It might be better to let him watch you make some of your favorite dishes, as well as you can when you're missing ingredients. He can watch and slowly start to understand, as you burn and hiss from the splattering oil, why food is a love language for humans too.

Food is a timeless love language. If it doesn't mean time and effort, it means money and sharing an experience that makes you happy. It's shared by nearly every culture, in your world and theirs, for a reason. Love is giving food when you're poor, love is the cuts and burns on your hands and arms, love is in the taste on your tongue, love is the smell you wake up to. Love is the effort, the time, the care. Love is food. And they love you.

[dufferpuffer]

Longbottoms boggart wasn't Snape.

I mean you'd think this would be obvious enough - but people who hate Snape bring it up as their sort of trump card. "He was so bad he was a 13yr olds biggest fear!" No. He wasn't. Boggarts don't quite work like that. Boggarts are not themselves your worst fear - they make you FEEL your worst fear. Hermione isn't actually scared of McGonagall. (I'm sure alot of first years are scared of her though I mean she is strict and stern and a little scary at first.) Did she have some irrational fear of suddenly failing all her classes? Yeah, maybe a little bit - but it is BECAUSE she is scared of not being good enough. From the first book we see her struggling to fit in with her peers. She is muggleborn, she learned she was a witch so suddenly that she poured herself into being the most perfect witch she could.

Professor McGonagall, a stern and strict witch she respects, telling her she isn't good enough despite all of her best efforts makes her FEEL her worst fear. It has nothing to do with Minerva personally - honestly it could probably be replaced with Dumbledore or someone... its just she has far more interaction with Minerva.

SO - Longbottom and Snape: How do I know that Snape isn't his absolute worst fear? Because he still attends Potions every fucking week!!! Do you think RON could attend Charms if it was run by a spider?!? He can pass Snape in the hall, he can sit in the same room as Snape, he can even be teased and bullied by Snape. His parents were tortured to insanity by Death Eaters. Severus Snape is NOT his worst fear, that's stupid. Snape just makes him FEEL his worst fear - like McGonagall makes Hermione feel hers. SO what is Neville worst fear? I think the clue comes with him quickly saying that he also wouldn't want the Boggart to turn into his grandma. Inadequacy. Neville has never been good enough. He has low self worth. The tiniest bits of praise overwhelm him. He never wins any house points and losing some devastates him. He got his magic late, his family kept trying to tease it out of him, thought he was maybe a squib. He has a proud legacy to uphold and he is terrified he cannot. He is the worst potions student Snape has ever had.

Snape makes Neville feel inadequate. His grandmother makes him feel inadequate. But mix them together... and suddenly these two very scary people that seem to have such control over his life... look a little ridiculous.

DO you think Lupin is LITERALLY scared of the moon...? Or does the moon make him feel powerless and dangerous and inhumane? DO you think Harry is LITERALLY scared of Dementors...? Or is he scared of how powerless he is against the horrible way they make him feel - the trauma they bring up from the deep recesses of his mind?

Snape was not so horrific, so awful, so scary, so mean - that he as a man became Nevile's worst fear. He, like his grandma, makes him feel inadequate.

[cottonlemonade]

Home Remedy

It took approximately five minutes from your first cough to your husband Shinsuke putting on his Wellington’s, a list in hand, neatly written after a short phone call with his grandma, and heading outside into the garden behind your house. Checking the small scrap of paper every so often he plucked leaves from herbs, unearthed vegetables with routine moves, and dug up a ginger root to boot.

Coming back inside, he ushered you to bed but after you protested, allowed you to stay on the couch, bundled up in at least two layers of blankets, the scarf Yumi had knitted you for Christmas last year, cozily wrapped around you. The soup was swiftly set on the stove, simmering away on this brilliantly cold October morning. You were looking forward to it - your husband‘s soup was the best part about being sick. But you already felt like misery reheated and hated what came with having a cold in the Kita household. Yumi and Shinsuke swore by this concoction they called a „tea“ but the ungodly amounts of various herbs and spices that he pulled from drawers and jars and the garden begged to differ. He insisted on you having one teapot a day of this secret home remedy and it tasted horrible.

But the worst part was, it actually helped so you couldn‘t argue against it.

“Here, my love.“, Shinsuke sat down next to you on the couch, pouring the curiously brownish, yet somehow still vivid green-colored potion into a shallow cup so it cooled down quicker for you to drink.

You made a face.

“Ya know the drill.“, he said patiently as he lifted it to your lips.

Very brave as you were, you took the first gulp and suppressed the need to shudder at its bitterness.

“Still bad?“

“Worse.“, you croaked but leaned forward again to obediently take another sip.

He smiled pityingly and reached out to cup your chubby cheek, then pressed his lips to your burning forehead before pouring more tea.

a/n: I’m sick and angered by the audacity of having to make my own tea and soup 😔

[reallyromealone]

May I request Leona K. x male reader? Reader is like Isabella Madrigal from Encanto. He is florokinetic, is beautiful and graceful in every way, and has a sass streak. Maybe just enemies to lovers? Thank you, and take your time!

Title: careful it's carnivorous

Pairing: Leona kingscholar x reader

Fandom: twisted wonderland

Warnings:

Notes:

☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️🐟☁️

Flowers.

Everywhere.

God Leona hated spring, it was when his least favorite classmate was fully... Himself.

Everyone knew (name), his floral magic was like nothing anyone had seen before and annoyingly perfect as he provided professor Crewel a flower he needed through magic.

"We will be pairing our all in groups of two, the names for each group are on the chart by the door" Crewel said simply as the class ended, each student going to check theit name on the list before leaving "oh you have to be kidding" (name) grumbled as he looked at the chart, his name was right beside the most insufferable person at this schools, Leona Kingscholar. "You better pull your weight!" (Name) seethed and Leona rolled his eyes "why don't you stop telling me what to do?" He drawled out with a catty smile, (name) fuming before storming off.

Leona grumbled as he walked into the greenhouse, (name) already gone to work at collecting things "couldn't you just magic the supplies? Or is your magic just good for making flowers" Leona said mockingly and (name) rolled his eyes "it would be unfair of us to do that, I'm not gonna cheat my way through this" now it was Leona's turn to roll his eyes as he looked at (name) "what are we even doing?"

"Luck potion" an extremely difficult potion, one mistake and they wouldn't even remotely have time to make a new one with its fermenting process.

"You think we can handle that?"

"If you stop lazing around, we absolutely could" (name) was self-assured, as always and Leona scoffed at him "god you're insufferable"

"I can't, I'm sorry" (name) said over the phone, it was known in the Pomefiore dorm that (name) had a complex relationship with his family, especially his grandmother who treated him like a trophy of sorts "I-im sorry, I have too many commitments here"

Another engagement offer.

He wasn't some bargaining chip.

After phone calls, he often found himself sitting in the greenhouse alone, frustration and hurt seeped through him as he let his composure slip, god he was just so done.

Being the eldest of seven, the responsibilities fell on him aways and he knew he made his grandma upset when he chose night ravens college over royal swords academy but he did it because he wanted this school, it had what he wanted.

Leona sighed as he walked through the halls of the academy, doing the patrols before bed when he saw a familiar figure walk towards the greenhouse "oh?" Well tonight was sure interesting to say the least, after all... "Wow, the perfect one breaking a rule? Isn't this funny" (name) turned to see Leona smirk down at him "just... Shut up" (name) whispered as he stood up "you can be cocky and shit but just... Shut up for once" (name) whispered as vines grew around the garden "can't you just leave me alone for once?"

"Wow, wheres the bite you usually have? Come on, pretty boy" Leona taunted and (name) felt his patience wear thin "can you just fuck off!" He yelled as cacti grew around them, the two stunned "you can grow those?"

"Apparently I can" (name)s grandmother always told him he could only grow flowers... "So why are you out here, little Mr. Perfect?" (Name)s mood shifted as he glared at him "oh shut up, you lazy ass!" He spat back and Leona grinned, there was the snarky flower boy he knew and hated "god you can't shit your trap! God if you could use that energy for being a shit maybe use it for our project!"

"And maybe you could stop being so annoying for once and I would actually want to do it!"

"Asshole!"

"Priss!"

And somehow, (name)s foul mood about his grandmother was gone as the two argued down the ball and a tiny cactus with two flowers on it sat in the greenhouse.

The following day, Leona grumbled as he felt vines grab his ankle "hurry up before I drag you!" (Name) said as he strutted down the hall, looking flawless as Leona glared but followed, other students admiring (name) as he passed and bloomed flower crowns on each of their heads.

"(Name)" malleus said softly, staring down (name) as he and Ace were leaving the lab "Malleus" (name) said coldly, leaning back when malleus got closer "absolutely not, we are not doing this again" (name) glared and waved a bunch of flowers at his face as he and Leona went into the lab, locking the door behind them "I know he's insufferable but what was that about?" Leona stretched and (name) rolled his eyes, taking out their supplies from the small lockers they reserved.

"My grandmother tried to have me engaged to him, malleus was all for it but I said no because god if I have to hear about gargoyles one more time..."

"He never shuts up about them, also how is it I manage to show up to things before him!" Leona fired back as they started the project, both talking heatedly about the fae prince.

It was the first time they agreed on something.

After that, their conversations were less hostile and Leona actually found himself enjoying (name)s company.

(Name) walked into the greenhouse later in the afternoon and saw Leona sleeping in a sun beam, rolling his eyes at this (name) grabbed a notebook he forgotten and went to walk out but before he did... "He's sleeping, he won't know" and like that a leaf grew right where the sun was hitting his eyes.

Only Leona was awake and was smirking as (name) clicked the door shut.

After that, working with (name) was far more tolerable, the two actually not going at each other much to everyones surprise and when something strange happens... Rumors start.

"Apparently, you and I are engaged because you blackmailed my family" (name) teased as he looked over the sleeping hybrid "really? I heard we had a passionate makeout session after you confessed to me with a bouquet of roses" Leona said back and the two chuckled at the nonsense that their classmates came up with as they focused on their work-- well (name) did, Leona relaxed in the corner.

Then his phone went off.

Again

And again

"Hello grandma, yes I did hear--- well I am not interested in him! So I'm not marrying him! I don't care if he's a good connection!" (Name) angrily hung up And Leona raised an eyebrow "she sounds like a bitch" Leona said simply and (name) sighed "she isn't the best" (name) mumbled "she wants me to marry someone so she can get up in the social latter... But I would rather eat glass then be with the people she offered me to"

"Who would you want?"

"Someone who isn't pretentious, not going to put me in a box and doesn't make me act perfect"

"Act?"

"You think I want to be like this? Perfect? Unable to make a mistake?"

He just wanted to garden.

And that is when Leona fell.

(Name) was awkward after the project finished, looking over at Leona who was about to fall asleep but took notice of (name)s slight deflation "come on rabbit food" Leona grumbled as he dragged a confused (name) "where are we going?"

"Don't worry about it princess" (name) looked offended at the nickname, he was a prince at least!

And that's when it happened, in a forgotten corner of the school.

A kiss.

"Still think you're an ass"

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Azul Ashengrotto - Platinum Jacket Vignette

"Happy 100th Anniversary"

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Azul: That painting was done by a painter from the Coral Sea… I'm rather surprised at the number of merfolk focused paintings here in a museum on the surface.

Azul: I suppose I should expect nothing less from this Land of Dawning Museum with 100 years of history lining its halls. Their collection includes a wide variety of works.

Azul: Fufu, it does bring me pride a supporter of the museum. I must do my part well… Oh?

???: She's a lot bigger than I expected… Did the Sea Witch really need to grow to such a size…?

Azul: Well, well, Jamil-san. If there is anything I can elucidate you on this painting of the Sea Witch, I would happy to do so.

Jamil: Don't just listen in on someone else's personal mutterings like that. Your ears just pick up everything, huh.

Azul: The scene depicted in this painting is of when the Sea Witch was admonishing someone who tried to change their contract.

Jamil: And don't just start explaining without being prompted. Even I know about the story of when she transformed to that titanic size.

Jamil: But when I actually see this painting in person, she's just much larger than I had imagined… It's just hard to believe.

Azul: You believe this depiction is a fictional exaggeration of what actually happened?

Azul: I completely understand that. I had the same thoughts the first time I saw this painting.

Azul: Nevertheless, this painting has faithfully reproduced a well-known legend passed down in the Coral Sea.

Azul: The Sea Witch embodies the spirit of compassion. And yet, she also demonstrated her anger at the mer who broke their contract.

Azul: But all of it was for the purpose to reform the soul of the mer who had acted in bad faith!

Jamil: What, she disciplined them for their own good? …Actually, yeah, there are some people who don't learn their lesson from just a light scolding.

Azul: Indeed. That is how it is taught in the Coral Sea.

Azul: You cannot just spoil someone rotten, there needs to be some discipline as well. I believe that shows true compassion.

Jamil: I can't believe something reasonable actually came from your mouth… What's wrong, are you sick or something?

Azul: Not at all. I only say this because there was someone close to me who would do the exact same thing.

Jamil: You personally know a mer who is similar to the Sea Witch? Who could that be?

Azul: My grandmother.

Azul: She always dotes on me… And when I was a child, I was definitely spoiled rotten by her.

Azul: However, she didn't hold back on scolding me when I didn't heed her advice and mixed some dangerous potions together.

Azul: And that was beyond terrifying… She was as furious as whirlpools in a strait.

Jamil: Whirlpools in a strait, huh… I bet that was as intense at the Sea Witch in this painting.

Azul: Indeed she was. Even if I had wanted to swim away, my legs were shaking so much, I couldn't even move.

Azul: However, I do understand now that she was tough because she had been worried about me.

Azul: Even after leaving home, I diligently put forth the effort every single day while always remembering her teachings.

Azul: So whenever I go to work, I remember what she would say to me, and use that to strengthen myself before beginning.

Azul: She would say… "Become a mer who is capable of helping someone else."

Jamil: …I see.

Jamil: I gotta say, I wasn't expecting you to be that much of a grandma's boy. That's a bit of a shocker.

Azul: A grandma's boy… Well, I suppose. I am who I am now thanks to her.

Azul: Of course, it also wouldn't be incorrect to say that I learned the importance of proper compensation from her, either.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Azul: This is… a painting that depicts story of when the Fairest Queen disguised herself as an old woman and visited a young girl who lived in a forest.

Azul: If I recall, as a way to help the young girl in love, she personally came to deliver apples that the she needed for a dish.

Jamil: So she was going to get through to her love interest through their stomach, hm. If the Fairest Queen herself brought them all the way there, those apples must have been especially delicious.

Azul: Indeed, one can almost smell that sweet apple aroma just by looking at this painting.

Azul: I'm sure it would be rather difficult for a painter from the oceans to draw such a real-looking apple.

Jamil: You think? Apples are imported under the sea, too. I feel like they could draw it by looking at that…

Azul: Of course, we absolutely can get our hands of apples in the sea. However, there is a large difference in how the light hits it and how the color shines upon it when it is at the sea floor compared to the surface.

Azul: Unless that painter has spent enough years on land, the way they draw them will be completely different from how they look on land.

Jamil: Interesting. Speaking of differences, Azul… Is it true that things smell differently on land and in the sea?

Azul: Oh, you're quite knowledgeable.

Azul: It often does feel as though the same things smell differently under the sea or on the surface.

Azul: When I first came on land, every scent was new to me, so every time I came across something new, I made it a point to determine its aroma.

Jamil: You just went around sniffing everything left and right… Haha, makes me laugh just imagining it.

Jamil: I bet everything smelling different caused some confusion, huh.

Azul: I suppose so. However, I did make some new discoveries. I especially found my meal times to be very valuable.

Azul: I can never forget that moment I realized just how different the flavors of ingredients that we also had in the ocean could be just from the change in aroma.

Azul: People do often say that fragrance is a valuable part of determining the taste factor of a dish.

Jamil: That's true. Oftentimes spices are used as a way to add fragrance in the same way.

Jamil: So, what was the dish that made you realize that even the same ingredients could affect the flavor?

Azul: Just a simple grilled dish. Char-grilled meat or fish, for example.

Azul: Of course, I've eaten things made on land underwater before, but the flavor was completely different.

Jamil: Char-grilling, hm. I can definitely see that as having a different flavor, since those dishes heavily rely on aromas.

Azul: Indeed. As such, at Jade and Floyd's suggestion, we had a barbeque soon after we came to the surface…

Azul: However, our ingredients became charred due to our inability to control the heat properly, and smoke kept getting into our eyes… It was one hardship after another, since we had no idea how to do it effectively.

Azul: Not to mention that Jade and Floyd found it entertaining to keep blowing the smoke in my direction… It was a wretched time.

Jamil: Sounds like fun to me. I can picture just how disgruntled you must have been.

Azul: Oh, is that right? I'll make sure to invite you next time, Jamil-san, since you seem interested.

Jamil: …I think I'll pass, actually.

[Land of Dawning – National Museum of Art]

Jamil: This is a painting of the Lord of the Underworld and his human helper from his legends, huh. This lady looks pretty unhappy.

Azul: It is said that they would have troubles compromising often, and it seems that she is very reluctant towards something here.

Azul: In addition, she had failed in a task that the Lord had given her, and made a major misstep by reporting incorrect information.

Azul: However, he didn't abandon her and instead gave her a chance to redeem herself.

Azul: How utterly generous he is… The Lord of the Underworld is a wonderful inspiration as someone who knows how to rouse his people.

Jamil: Well, I can't deny that, but… To me, there's something to be said about being too tolerant.

Jamil: I know I personally would rather not have an increase in workload because something gets promised without thinking.

Azul: Are you perhaps talking about matter of raising the PR level of Night Raven College that the Headmage requested?

Azul: When that topic was brought up in the last Housewarden meeting, Kalim-san was so forthright in accepting the task.

Jamil: You accepted it, too. This is an unbearable weight on me, and my fellow dorm students, you know.

Jamil: I get why softhearted Kalim took it on, but why would you go out of your way to accept this sort of annoying task?

Azul: No reason why… The Headmage was in need, so I volunteered out of the goodness of my heart.

Azul: Also… If this PR were to succeed, then it would be beneficial to me, as well.

Jamil: Beneficial to you?

Azul: If the good name of our academy is spread, then that will also reflect on us, you see?

Azul: More than ever people will recognize us as being students from that Night Raven College…

Azul: And if it is a grand success, then as one of the organizers, I may have the chance to grow my own opportunities.

Jamil: So that's why. You're completely different from Kalim, who just took it on because the Headmage asked.

Jamil: But anyway, this is all just hypothetical, right? There's also the chance that it's all just a waste of time and effort.

Azul: That is true. However, that is no reason to sit back and do nothing.

Azul: My main goal while at this academy is to maximize my own marketability before heading out into society.

Azul: In order to achieve that, there is nothing I am unwilling to do. I must take every opportunity that is given to me.

Jamil: Sigh, that's just like you.

Jamil: Speaking of which, have you already come up with how you're planning on increasing PR?

Jamil: I hear that the organizer will have to implement the best idea personally. That's a pretty hefty load, don't you think?

Azul: Fufu, I can't go into details, but… Of course, I've thought of some feasible ideas.

Azul: If you're interested, why not join us, Jamil-san?

Azul: It would be remiss if I were to completely monopolize this wonderful of an opportunity.

Jamil: No thanks. I'll be leaving now before I get wrapped up in anything troublesome.

Azul: Fufu, and there he slips away from me. …Hm? This painting…

Azul: It's the mermaid who fell in love with a human from one of the Sea Witch's legends. She seems so naïve and vulnerable; one prone to being led on.

Azul: Fufu… The world is cruel, after all. I wonder how much of reality she actually understood.

Requested by @pianostarinwonderland.

[mizimuse]

How they flirts(and failed miserably)||Slytherin boys+Pansy edition

Draco Malfoy

Thinks he’s the next Casanova but ends up sounding like a confused goblin

“So, uh, do you like... um, Quidditch? Because I’m really good at, uh, flying. My dad says I’m practically the best!” Can we get a round of applause for the confidence?

Compliments are his specialty, but they always have a catch.

“You look almost decent today. Did you borrow that robe from someone who actually has style?” Thanks for the backhanded compliment, Draco!

When trying to impress you, he ends up revealing his biggest weakness: pumpkin juice.

“Did you know I can drink two gallons of pumpkin juice in one sitting? Impressive, right?!” You’re definitely setting the bar high for romance!

Ends every conversation with an exit so dramatic it could win an Oscar.

“Fine! I didn’t want to discuss feelings anyway!” And he slams the door like he’s in a soap opera.

Mattheo Riddle

Wears a leather jacket and tries to act cool but just looks like he’s auditioning for a rock band.

“Your beauty is like a rare potion... uh, that I can’t quite brew, so I’ll just stare at you awkwardly” So smooth, Mattheo.

Serenades you with his guitar, but it sounds like a banshee wailing.

“Close your eyes and pretend it’s beautiful! I’m going for the ‘hauntingly tragic’ vibe”

Gets lost in his own metaphors, and you’re just there, confused.

“You’re like a unicorn in a world of goblins—magical but also, like, why are you here?”

Acts all tough but is secretly a marshmallow.

“If you ever need someone to cry with during a rom-com, I’m your guy... but only after I finish this pint of ice cream”

Theodore Nott

Sweet and shy, but when he tries to flirt, you can’t tell if he’s asking for directions.

“Hey, I just wanted to say, uh, your eyes are, um, really shiny? Like, super shiny-Not like my shoes, which are just... well, shoes.”

Blushes harder than a tomato, and you can practically see the steam rising.

“I was totally not staring at you! Just, um, observing the ceiling.It’s very... ceiling-like.”

His flirting attempts are like a train wreck; you can’t look away.

“Would you want to... um, go to Hagrid’s hut? It’s, uh, cozy and stuff.Maybe with, like, butterbeer?”

Tries to show off his magical skills but ends up summoning his own sock instead.

“Look! I can do magic! Uh, wait, that’s my sock. Let’s pretend that was planned”

Blaise Zabini

Struts around like he’s in a muggle music video, but his pick-up lines are straight out of a 90s rom-com.

“You must be a Quidditch player because you just scored in my heart! Or maybe that’s just the butterbeer talking?”

His flirty banter is so cringe, you wonder if he’s doing it for a laugh.

“If you were a potion, you’d be Amortentia... because you smell like my grandma’s old perfume, which is kind of nostalgic mama”

Thinks he’s mysterious, but really he’s just a goofball in a cloak.

“I’m like a dragon; I can breathe fire! But don’t worry, I only use it on enemies... and the occasional snack”

Gets distracted mid-flirt, and you’re left wondering what just happened.

“So, you’re like really pretty, but have you seen my new broomstick? It’s, like, super fast! Like me... when I’m late to class”

Tom Riddle

Tries to act like he’s from a gothic novel, but really, he’s just a dramatic puppy.

Compliments from him are rare and sound like he’s reciting an ancient curse.“Your hair... it’s... um, not terrible. I suppose it suits you.”

When you trip or drop your books, he doesn’t rush to help; he just raises an eyebrow, and you can practically feel the frostbite.

“You should really work on your coordination. It’s quite pathetic, really.”

Thinks he’s being suave but is really just awkwardly intense.

You’d think he has a heart of ice, but there are moments when he catches you looking at him, and a flicker of something soft flashes in his eyes.

“What are you staring at? It’s not like I’m the best thing here. There are better things—like this book I’m reading.”

His idea of romance? Bringing you a cursed object and telling you, “It’s dangerous. Just like me. But I thought you’d appreciate the thrill.”

“I’m not trying to be charming. This is just who I am. But... you can keep the cursed object if you want. No strings attached.”

Pansy Parkinson

Flirts by roasting you harder than a marshmallow over a campfire.

“Oh, you think you’re cute? Sweetie, even my house-elf has more charm than you”

Compliments sound like they’re laced with sarcasm and glitter.

“You look fabulous today.Did you finally figure out how to dress, or did you just lose a bet?”

Has a way of turning every flirtation into a playful fight.

“I dare you to ask me out. Or are you too scared? I won’t bite... unless it’s dinner”

Always has a backup plan and can pivot her flirtation to pure chaos.

“If you don’t want to date me, that’s fine! I’ll just set you up with Draco. Good luck with that; he’s secretly a ferret”

[luna-loveboop]

I started playing Wind Waker! Y'all want some thoughts?

-Why is the first thing I learned how to do with Link crawling on the ground like a sneaky sneak?

-Why is the SECOND thing I figured out how to do Link sidling along a wall like a sneaky sneak?

This kid is a sneaky sneak sneak!!!!

-Why is Link instantly jumping on people's tables? Get down please sir

-Wind and his family are so sweet I love them so much- and Aryll got kidnapped noooo TT

-Tetra has shot Link from a catapult

**I'm just gonna keep editing this post and adding random thoughts as I go does that sound cool? I wanna do that @hero-of-the-wolf

-Tetra's winking at Link has my heart forever she's so cute I swear

-love the glowy blue talking rock btw yesss stalker pirate girl

-Link why do you yell so loud every time you jump this is a sneak mission I thought you'd be good at this

-the game grumps on YouTube saved my life tho bc im a coward and get way too nervous in places like the forsaken fortress and watching someone else swear through the area before I do it helps ok

-Wind is such a gremlin but he's actually so polite? Like he instantly bowed to the sword trainer and then to the guy on windfall island after paying for breaking his pots- before running out of the house at breakneck speed. He's such a sweet and polite boy you can tell he's grandmas kid- yet he's such a menace what a wild yet polite lad ridndkkfkdg

-the people of windfall island are way too judgy stop being condescending to Link he's my baby. 'The Tipsters' girls have my heart tho because they.. they... well they give you tips. Tip you off you could say

-I think the King of Red Lions just legally adopted Link

Ok so small rant section but this game is so tragic. Like the art style is so goofy and fun but it hits you so hard that these are KIDS. Link is freaking twelve and his sister was kidnapped on his birthday, leaving him to follow in hot clothes because of higher defence I'm guessing (new hero clothes are more suitable for an adventure than casual loose ones but still!). But he's literally like half the height of DOORKNOBS- he has to stand on his tiptoes anytime to open doors. He is so very small.

My mom was like 'I love this animation style - does it help with your nerves that it's lighter?' And I was like 'honestly it makes me feel more deeply the tragedy of what should be a happy childhood being torn apart' but she's used to me saying weird shit like that so it's fine

-I think we as a fandom are severely underestimating how much of a gremlin Wind waker link can be and that's saying a LOT

-I got the Wind Waker!

-WHY IS IT SO HARD TO CONTROL DONT YOU LECTURE ME ON RHYTHM IM LITERALLY A MUSICIAN WHAT THE HECK

-K learned the Wind Waker

-Ok I like got to dragon roost island on the first day and FINALLY got an empty bottle my beautiful baby where were you??

-I cleaned- like actually fully dusted and cleaned- my wii u for the first time after it was inactive for years and holy mother of improved game pad controls

-is it wierd that I'm more excited about the empty bottle than the wind waker?

. . . .

-ya know in hindsight gabon looked pretty shady. I mean he was standing in the shade but what kind of asshole stands there and tells a giant bird to throw a child in the ocean

-I think ganodonk is dumb I can't wait to get the sword and bitch slap him

-'we cANt set SaiL aGain Until you geT a GLowY thiNgy' well mr boat man sir have you considered that I realised there was most definitely a heart piece or two I forgot on windfall island and I'm doing another dungeon with three hearts? At least I got a bottle ig

-why am I trading with rats for potions this doesn't seem hygienic. I know rats are in fact very clean animals but this dungeons isn't and why do the rats want rupees anyways?

-WAIT WHY CAN LINK TALK TO RATS

-so there's this like steamy glowy pot that teleports me to the start/end of the dungeon? I'm questioning all existence in this world why is that a thing. Honestly think Twilight princess's bald teleportation chicken made more sense but whatever

. . . .

-I saved the dragon! By riding on his tail? What a boss fight that was fun. Got a shiny thingy Yayy

-So the wind waker! I learned to change the direction of the wind which is so cool and also to change whether it's night or day. Which is wayyy too much power for this kid how come no one told me he could change night and day?

-That said I love how musical Link is. Like when he looks so happy waving the baton playing to the wind it's just really cool

- Why is the God of Wind a like. Toad surfer dude. Whatever, I like him.

-So apperently there's these little dudes called fish-men who are talking fish who fill out your sea chart- I am still questioning why link can talk to animals but that's fine

-I missed out on pawprint isle before apparently, so I'm gonna do that before whatever the red lion king tells me next

-Also I love Beedle in this game so far he hasn't threatened me like the other beedles in games I've played

. . . .

-I GOT MY SECOND EMPTY BOTTLE

-Sailing through the ocean is really fun

-I went back to windfall and got a 'swift sail' that lets me go faster but I still like the blue one better

-I reached the great deku tree! He had monsters for pimples and I couldn't figure out how to get them off 'what are you doing?!?! go help him!!' IM TRYING ADOPTIVE BOAT FATHER. Turns out I needed to roll into him and not use the grappling hook which makes sense but still

-He. Grew me a leaf. A magic blowy leaf. Which is great it's an awesome gift and means a lot but the Deku tree grunted and grew a leaf for me and that's kinda wierd right?

-Reaching said leaf was a PAIN and I am very impressed with Wind Waker Link.

Hang on rant session. Bro's tiny little grandmas boy but flipping through the air to reach an unspeakably high up leaf is chill. He flipped through leafy child cannons a billion times to reach the Deku leaf and didn't get dizzy or give up even after falling. And that's saying nothing of how he picked up a sword for the first time and swings his way through EVERYTHING thrown at him. Gosh he's so cool I love this Link

-I HAVE MAGIC NOW!!!!! With like a little meter and stuff tidkkfdjfnkdjfkd I'm very excited that I have magic

-Reaching this high shelf with my path forward was a pain but I have to save and quit rn so if it puts me back at the start of this room I will be. Upset.

-It put me back at the start of the room.

-I ordered a game guide! I'm gonna try and play through with it- this'll be my first time using one. But I haven't updated for a few days bc I'm waiting on it :)

This whole post is a bunch of random thoughts jumping around which my adhd self appreciates- that said I really love that we can grab an enemies weapon and use it against them. Increases my respect for ww Link even more- when he had no weapon in the forsaken fortress he grabs a literal wooden stick from an enemy and kills it with. A big twig. Kid's brutal and does what it takes which is so crazy. Also using an enemies sword is great hehe shiny

. . . .

-Got game guide. Yayyyy

-The forbidden woods are scary but they remind me a lot of the forest temple in twilight princess. A lot. The mechanics are also very similar. I love Zelda games

-Maybe it's because the only time I've had free to play rn has been at night, but I find myself constantly thinking this game is creepy. It's so unsettling for a cartoon style- the boko babas freaking eat link! And chew on him like no!! Fisnfjskfkfk *shudder* aaaanyways I am NOT looking forward to redeads in this game but that's a later problem right?

-I figured out how to get the treasure chests from the sea!! And got a piece of heart :DDD

-Ok game guides are really helpful

-Apparently the 'warp pots' are a consistent thing- I guess that's just how Link teleports in dungeons in this game. The second pot is generally hidden a bit but then you can teleport to the beginning of the dungeon and back- then the third pot is near the end... I think. This is only my second dungeon in this game with the pots but it's going great! I'm learning a lot hehe

-I love the grappling hook so much. I can farm spoils/materials from monsters with it before I kill them and I love that. Also it makes me feel cool swinging it.

-WDYM I CAN GET FREE BLUE POTIONS FROM A KOROK USING EASILY ATTAINABLE (with the grappling hook) MATERIALS FROM BOKO BABAS THIS IS JOY THIS IS LOVE IT GIVES ME HEALTH A N D MAGIC FJDKFJFK

-Also the title screen theme and animation play around outset is very satisfying. Watched it replay three times tonight before starting the game. Time well spent.

-I appreciate the items so much. The Deku Leaf is great like I can F L Y with magic and also blow wind at enemies and make them look silly <3

-The look of Link's spoils bag has grown on me and I love it. Purple.

. . . .

-I got the boomerang!!! Oh my gosh it's so cool I love it.

-I've been trying out the switch mechanic for targeting rather than hold. It's going interestingly bc I've only ever held for targeting before. But I think I like it

-The evil flower ate Makar- the Korok I'm TRYING to save GIVE HIM BACK

-That was the prettiest boss fight ever. I couldn't even be intimidated, I don't think I've ever been more relaxed during a boss fight lol. They should make all of them purple and blue sparkly- it was legitimately beautiful.

-I finished the forbidden forest dungeon!! :DD yayyy

-Link's hopping up and down in celebration after the boss fight was so cute he's so happy!!

-Have I mentioned I'm excited about the boomerang

-Makar is so cute?!?! I love him with his little violin and- the Koroks oh my heart that was the cutest ceremony ever

. . . .

-Ok so I went around the great sea, for now avoiding the big octos I am uhh terrified interested to meet, went to a place that got 'corrupted by gannorks power' so now I'm following the pirates back to windfall island

-The pirates are stealing bombs and I think this is illegal.

-My girl Tetra's here!! :D also doing illegal stuff! And Link is just watching them rob the bomb shop lol these cutscenes are the best sometimes also I love the pirate banter

-Tetras little smile and wink when she saw Link was so cute I love her. Also the little hints that she was concerned about his island and not just treasure?? Sweet

-I stole the bombs that the pirates stole from the pirates. And getting there was a PAIN with swinging on the ropes the tiny pirate (Niko) made Link do

-TETRA is a STALKER she was watching Link through the glowy rock thingy- probably cause he was just sneaking around watching her rob a shop but still that thing scares me sometimes when her voice just comes screaming out of it

-Btw why do the pirates want the god pearl thingy anyways? Just cause it's really shiny orrr

-ok we're headed to outset! I'm so excited to get back to Link's home hehe. Also I think Tetra just dared Link to a race bc she was like 'we'll get there first we still have bombs' so yeah anyways she's spending the night here tho so I'm sure it'll be fine.

-I don't like the great sea as much when it's raining and thunderstorming all over :/ I hope it doesn't stay like this? Because that would suck

-I got sucked into a cyclone and was panicking cause it threw me across the great sea BUT then it threw me onto outset!! :D so that was uhh. Handy I guess.

-Ohhh ok so like. time is frozen from ganad's current curse, which means it's gonna stay night for right now, so tetra won't be coming in time to get the treasure from the god dude first. Nice.

-The Lion King just kindly told Link to visit his family and chill for a second and check on his island?? Sobbing yes thank you sir

-Grandma's sick oh no this is the saddest thing I've ever seen ima cry. I healed her with a fairy but she was so sad link and aryll were gone im- and then grandma blamed herself for not being there for them like no it's literally cold and rainy all the time it's frozen right now you have every right to get sick- and then she made Link soup and she'll remake it for him which is great and I LOVE LINKS GRANDMA SO MUCH it was so sad she was sick I'm glad I could heal her :))

-Link smiled and nodded so enthusiastically when Grandma told him to stay out of trouble/stay safe like Link you are a liar I just watched you steal from pirates

-I sparred with Orca and I like him. It's cool how he trains Link on his home Island with like formal training because Link definitely needs it with what he's facing

-Controlled a seagull for the first time. That was fun they can fly for such a long time like. Forever?? Idk I eventually stopped

. . . .

-Ok so I talked wait no. The king of red lions talked with this guy who's a god named Jabun (I think that's how it's spelled I'll check) and he gave us a THIRD glowy thingy. I'll give more thoughts on that conversation later I gotta look up the translation. The sea is back to being sunny :))

-I spent a bit just sailing around. I need to place the shiny pearl thingies from the gods in special places marked on the map to 'reveal the place where my courage will be tested' or whatever

-I have found several great fairies and gotten my rupees and wallets upgraded twice. I like the fairies in this game.

-I FOUGHT A BIG OCTO I'M SO PROUD

-it was scary.

-But my magic meter has been doubled!!! :D *slaps wind waker link* this bad boy can fit so much magic and blessings inside of him

-I've placed two of the fancy shiny orbs. Its wierd... I put them in old looking statues and they glow. That's fine I guess.

-the fishmen are my best friends. Kind of. Every square on the map I go to one is there and they'll give me lil hints and tips while they fill out my map. Nice guys.

-beedle sent me a beedle chart! :D which. Is a map of where his shop appears so handy!

-there's these maps called 'treasure charts' everywhere that mark places in the sea with rings of glowing light that I can bring up treasure from. Generally a purple rupee but a lot of times other things :)

-there's this one square with beedles shop ship that has an empty bottle and heart piece and treasure chart for sale 00 I got the empty bottle immediately ofc (now I have three!!) and saved up the money and got the rest :) it was all like. Five to nine hundred rupees each yeesh

-Link sure does rely on maps and charts a lot in this game

. . . .

-THE GODS JUST FURKIN YEETED LINK ACROSS THE BIG BLUE OCEAN WHAT THE SHELL WAS THAT

?!?!?!?!

Ok (storytime) so I was placing the last pearl of the gods that I've been collecting in the ancient statue and a cutscene starts right?

So Link places Farore's pearl and the ancient statue starts glowing. and Link kinda startles and runs away, but then he comes back and the statue EXPLODES with light and Link goes FLYING like Farore just bitch slapped Link with power across the ocean WHY?!?!

And so you have this big dramatic cutscene where the ancient statues become really pretty and form a map of the triforce on the ocean and a big freaking TOWER comes rising out of the water and it's really cool- and then at the end Link SPLATS INTO THE FREAKING TOWER AFTER BEING SENT FLYING INTO IT LIKE GIVE THE KID A BREAK ALREADY

Of all the things I was expecting in wind waker, a cutscene of Link being sent hurtling across the world to slam face first into the literal 'tower of the gods' was not it. like forget a concussion how is Link ALIVE?!?!

-k so anyways. I'm good. Wasn't expecting that. This 'tower of the gods' is the place the King of red lions keeps telling Link he'll be tested/have to prove himself to the gods as a hero or something

-Oooo this dungeon seems cool so far! Riding in, it's just risen out of the ocean, so I'm entering the dungeon on my boat dad

-so it's like we can do it together! Not really, but King Red is how I get around the first bit at least. It's crazy how Link doesn't have a companion for in dungeons. Boat dude has just been dropping Link off at dungeons like a kid at school.

-So the tides come in and out of this dungeon. The floor will be filled with water when it's up and I'm only able to walk when tide is low and the waters gone. This is dangerous because Link, although he can survive being yeeted across the sea, can in fact drown.

-also I've just realised I haven't died so far in this game yet!! Go me :D

[mbavholidayexchange]

to: @vampwitchcoven​ from: @rbquartz​

title: i think i love you?! | word count: 4,579 | summary: days before their first big performance at a local festival, benny cooks up a disguised truth potion to see if he can get any juicy gossip and/or a confession of love out of erica (for her sake), but his plan backfires as erica refuses and offers rory the potion instead, and he confesses some love of his own! | AO3 Link

“Heeey Saraaah! Ericaaa! Wait up!”

Sarah chuckles at Erica as she rolls her eyes and shakes her head slightly, the pair pausing their strides to wait for Benny and Ethan to catch up. Benny’s holding a water bottle that’s full of… something , and he’s wearing a mischievous grin – never a good sign – and Ethan seems done with his shit, as usual.

“What’s up, dorks?” Sarah starts, tilting her head and putting her hands on her hips as the two girls turn to face the boys.

“Wanna be a couple o’ guinea pigs for something I'm trying to whip up?” Benny asks, waving the bottle he’s holding in his hand at the pair and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, his expression growing a tad more mischievous. The liquid – a dark bronze-y color that shifts to a more purple hue with certain movements; and just slightly too thick to be a normal drink, but not quite thick enough to resemble a proper smoothie – sloshes in the bottle and shimmers slightly in the fluorescent lights. Erica scrunches her nose, and Sarah can only gawk at it and shake her head.

“Is this another one of your flavor experiments with some extra earth priestess-y ‘ingredients’ you found in your grandma’s broom closet? Because if so, I’m all good, thanks.” Sarah says, holding her hands up in front of her and taking a step back closer to Erica.

“Yeah, plus it looks like you blended up copper wire, chunky glitter, and every purple and brown vegetable that you could find… which, knowing you, is something you’d definitely try and mix up to try and make it taste good.”

Benny splutters, trying to look to Ethan for defensive support. Ethan shrugs noncommittally, tilting his head to the side.

“ Eeehh , I mean they’re kinda right dude. Just the other day you tried to convince me that adding bananas to a quesadilla would taste good, but it was a texture nightmare!”

Benny shakes his head, waving his hand dismissively in Ethan’s direction.

“It may have been a texture nightmare to you , but the savory-sweet greasiness of it all was chef’s kiss! ” Benny emphasizes his point with a dramatic showing of bringing his fingertips to his lips, kissing them, then spreading his fingers outward with a flourish.

Erica and Sarah groan in disgust as Ethan scrunches up his nose and shudders at the memory, and Benny makes another dismissive noise in response, turning away slightly to pout to himself.

“You guys’re just jealous that you don’t have the same distinguished palate that I do! Amateurs, I swear.”

The group snorts and snickers at that, and Benny just rolls his eyes and turns back to the two girls again, holding the bottle up between his hands in a pleading motion.

“Come on , guys, please? Just one little sip? Just as a test! It’s been something I’ve been trying to perfect and I think I’ve finally gotten it!”

Erica scoffs, raising an eyebrow suspiciously and narrowing her eyes at him slightly.

“And why can’t you test it, smart guy? I thought you had a distinguished palate ? You scared it’ll taste gross and want us to suffer the consequences in your place?”

“Besides,” Sarah cuts in, “aren’t you guys gonna be performing with Rory at Whitechapel’s annual music festival thing in a couple of days? This can’t be a good idea, especially if you accidentally somehow give a vampire food poisoning.”

“It’s nothing like that at all! Absolutely no ill intent, I swear!” Benny makes another show of placing his free hand on his heart, “besides, I think the results will be more beneficial to you than they will to me, especially with our gig. Sooo…?”

Erica squints at him, not convinced in the slightest. She glances at Sarah, who mirrors her skeptical expression but simply shrugs. After a few moments of silence, she sighs and stretches her hand out towards him and his concoction.

“If I take it, will you stop bothering us about it?”

Benny nods enthusiastically, planting the bottle firmly in her palm.

“Yup!” He says, popping the p , “ and I’ll leave you alone about any other wonderfully strange flavor combos I've cooked up forrr… two weeks!”

“Make it a month and you’ve got a deal.”

Benny clicks his tongue disappointedly, but nods. Erica nods back, and places the bottle in her bag, and smirks at Sarah, who snickers. Benny’s smile drops immediately and he starts to object, but Erica puts a finger up and wags it in his face.

“Ah-ah-ah, I said I would take it, not try it in front of you. Nice try, smart guy . See ya at our rehearsal!”

“B-But–!”

Before he can say any more, Erica steps around the two boys, beckoning for Sarah to follow. Sarah smiles, waves at the pair, and follows behind her vampire companion. Benny groans quietly, pinching the bridge of his nose as Ethan shakes his head and elbows him hard, as if to say ‘ I told you so’ .

“Whaddya even plan on doing with that anyway if you’re not gonna try it? Trash it?” Sarah inquires as she matches Erica’s stride once more, raising an eyebrow at her. Erica shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly, reaching back into her bag and pulling out the bottle, inspecting it.

“Not sure yet. Might actually give it to the only other person besides Benny who actually enjoys his… experiments . She’s got just as weird of a palate as he does,” Erica states, placing the bottle back in her bag, stashing it for later, “all I know is that we don’t have to deal with Benny’s food disasters for a whole month.” She beams smugly and tilts her chin up confidently. Sarah giggles, nodding in agreement.

“Let’s just go find Rory and see if they wanna take this off our hands.”

“Take what off your hands?”

Sarah and Erica both yelp, spinning around to look at Rory, who simply beams and waves at them.

“Rory !” They exclaim in unison; Erica runs a hand (as gently as she can to not mess up her makeup) down her face, and Sarah just stares at him quizzically.

“Where the heck did you come from??”

“The opposite side of the hallway,” she says, spinning around and pointing towards the direction she came, “I saw you guys coming up this way, so I figured I’d follow up with you guys to see when we can find time to practice for our show!”

“Well, I told Benny that we’d rehearse later, so sometime after school maybe? It’d have to be at Benny’s or Ethan’s too, since he’s got his drum set over there and I doubt he’d want to drag it anywhere else on his own, and we’re definitely not doing it for him,” Erica says matter-of-factly. Rory nods.

“Alright! Ooh! And we can finally vote on what song to do! I have a list, and we can listen to each of them and see what the vibe is.” Rory says, finishing with a slight wave of their hands, before he perks back up again. “Oh, what’d you wanna show me? You said you had something you wanted me to take off your hands?”

Erica nods, reaching back into her bag to pull out the bottle that Benny had given them a few minutes prior, the shimmering liquid inside sloshing around once more with the movement. Rory tilts his head quizzically, not unlike a puppy as they notice the odd liquid’s brown-to-purple tonal shift, and they quirk an eyebrow.

“What is that ?”

“Dunno, but, it’s another one of Benny’s weird flavor experiments, and I know that you can be a fan of those sometimes, and we’re definitely not gonna be trying this anytime soon,” Erica emphasizes her point by jiggling the bottle around a bit, the mystery liquid gurgling ever so slightly with the movement, “You want it?”

Rory makes an ‘o’ shape with their mouth, and takes the bottle from her grasp, flipping the bottle up and down and back and forth, watching the way that the drink inside glistens.

“Wicked. I’ll take it!”

“What songs did we say we were thinking about performing again?” Erica asks, picking at the strings on her guitar absentmindedly, “One of the options is one of the songs Jack Black and his buddy did for a movie or something, right? ‘Tenacious D’ is their group, isn’t it?”

Rory and Benny hum in affirmation, and Erica nods once before continuing, “I still say we should do something by Paramore or like… MCR. Single Tear, even.”

Benny – who’d been tapping away gently at his drum set trying to get the sequence of notes for one of the songs right – pauses to sneer in Erica’s direction.

“Absolutely not. No emo music, we promised!” He says, jabbing one of his drumsticks in her direction.

“I don’t know man, I do a pretty mean Gerard Way impression! I’ve always wanted to recreate his cheerleader outfit that he wore on MCR’s tour,” Rory cuts in, nodding to himself as he makes the ‘okay’ symbol. Erica snaps her fingers a few times in agreement, a quiet applause. Benny rolls his eyes.

“Okay seriously, what other options do we have? We have the Tenacious D song, which I'm pretty sure it’s called ‘I Think I Love You’. Then, we have ‘Flip City’ from the  Ghostbusters 2  soundtrack minus all the other fancy instruments, ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire’, and ‘Stacy’s Mom’. We need to vote  now , our musical careers are at stake!”

Erica rolls her eyes, and Rory nods vigorously.

“Right! My vote is for Tenacious D!” Rory pipes up, throwing his hand up in the air.

“I like your enthusiasm, Rory! I also vote for Tenacious D, on your behalf. Erica, what's your vote?”

“I’m not trying to be the odd one out here, so I guess my vote is also for that one.”

Benny claps once, pumping his fists. “Perfect! Let’s get to practicing!”

After a long while of practicing, Benny throws his drumsticks to the ground, only in mild frustration and just slightly overdramatic, and groans obnoxiously.

“  Okay  , I think that’s enough practice for now. Who’s up for a  Special Benny Snack  break?”

Erica groans, scrunching up her nose and shaking her head, but Rory perks up, picking up their hand and waving it excitedly. Benny grins.

“That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Be right back.” And with that, Benny heads into the house, leaving the two vampires alone. Erica fiddles and plucks at her guitar strings again as Rory plays with the microphone cord, twirling and untwirling it around her fingers. Erica, cool as a cucumber, leans towards Rory, catching their attention ever so slightly. They quirk an eyebrow at her, and she simply smirks right back. Uh oh.

“Sooo… How are things with Ethan?”

Rory splutters, his face flushing as he nearly drops the microphone onto the floor. Erica chortles, wishing that vampires could show up on camera so she could’ve caught his reaction. Rory tries to casually clear his throat but fails, opting to try and lean against the nearby table.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about! Things are perfectly fine, and perfectly  friendly . We’re just friends. Just a couple of friendly dudes doing friendly dude things,” Rory pauses, trying to compose themself, before smirking right back at Erica. “I should be asking  you  how things’re going with  Sarah . I see how you look at each other sometimes!”

It’s Erica’s turn to flush and stutter now, and she juts out her bottom lip in a pout and crosses her arms in front of her chest, to which Rory just cackles. Before she can bite back with something smart, Benny re-emerges into the garage, a plate of seemingly innocent sandwiches in his hands.

“Behold, another one of  Benny the Magnificent ’s greatest works!”

He tries to offer a sandwich – which seems to look like a normal grilled cheese sandwich, but upon closer inspection, anyone can see that it is  not just cheese in that sandwich, but peanut butter and possibly a pickle or two – to Erica, who quickly shakes her head, turning Benny and pushing him in Rory’s direction, who happily takes a sandwich from the platter. Benny takes his own as well, putting the extra sandwich to the side, a quiet  ‘suit yourself!’  coming out of his mouth before he takes a huge bite, humming with approval at the taste. Erica tries not to gag, and Rory takes a bite of the sandwich as well, seemingly unfazed. After a few moments of eating in silence, Rory puts the sandwich down, and steeples their fingers in front of them, turning to face Benny, who’s just finishing the last bite of his sandwich.

“Benny, I just gotta say it…”

Benny perks up, awaiting to hear the usual praise coming from his friend.

“These are ass, and if I have to take another bite I think I might vom.”

Benny’s and Erica’s jaws drop in sync as they look at Rory, who also seems surprised at himself for saying that as their hand shoots up to slap over their mouth.

“ What?!  I thought you liked my creations!” Benny cries, throwing his hands up in the air, and Erica’s shocked expression begins to mold itself into a gleeful one.

“I do! I like all of them!” Rory yelps, trying to fix the situation, but the words keep tumbling out of his mouth, and it’s like watching a dam break at last. “Most of them. At least a few of them… okay, maybe just like one or two..?”

Benny gawks as Rory slaps her hands over her mouth again, realizing that talking isn’t going to fix the situation anymore. Erica barks out a laugh, claps, and eventually her laughing fit forces her to double over and clutch her sides. Benny frowns at Erica and shoves her in an effort to get her to knock it off, causing her to stumble a bit as she tries to stay in her seat. Soon enough, the laughter dies down ever so slightly and is reduced to giggles, and Erica sits back up again. Benny glowers at her again, crossing his arms over his chest as he pouts like a little kid, slouching in his seat.

“Can’t believe I thought you were a flavor connoisseur like I was, turns out it was all a lie.” Benny starts, before something clicks in his brain, and he sits up quickly and turns to Erica.

“Erica! That drink I gave you, did you ever try it after we talked??”

Erica, still recovering, shakes her head no, wiping at the tears that had formed in her eyes.

“No, and I never planned on it, dork! I just took it so you’d leave us alone, and gave it to… Rory…” Erica pauses, the cogs in her brain turning as the pair turn to look at Rory, then back at each other, and Erica’s expression grows dangerous with each passing second.

“Benny… what did you put in that drink?”

Benny shrinks in on himself ever so slightly, turning away from her sharp gaze and scratches at the back of his neck.

“I-it uhh, may or may not have been… a truth potion?” He squeaks out, shrugging sheepishly. Erica glares daggers, and Rory pales.

“ What?! ” They say simultaneously, Erica growling it out as Rory yelps again. Benny throws his hands up in front of him, waving them around wildly as he tries to defend himself, both with his words and from a hypothetical barrage from the two vampires sitting in front of him.

“It was a truth potion! I wanted to give it to Erica so she can finally stop being a coward and confess her feelings for Sarah,  or  get some juicy vampire gossip from her, I don’t know! I didn’t plan on it being given to anyone else!”

“Of  course you didn’t, dumbass! You never do!” Erica snaps, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration and getting to her feet, and she begins to pace back and forth. “How long do the effects last? Did you at least figure  that  out, Einstein?”

“Probably a day or so at least? Shouldn’t be longer than that, so it should be no problem, see?” Benny says, trying to fix the situation, but Rory’s still not satisfied.

“A day or so?? What am I supposed to do, spill my guts to half of Whitechapel at the festival tonight? You guys already know I can’t hold water, what makes you think I’ll be okay with a truth potion  and  singing a song about love? I didn’t wanna tell Ethan like this, it had to be special–!”

Before he keeps on yammering, Rory slaps their hands over their mouth once again in an effort to keep the words in, eyes wide. Benny’s eyebrows shoot up, and he blinks a couple times at the vampire. Rory blinks back, and Benny smirks.

“You have a crush on Ethan and didn’t think to tell me your master plan?”

It comes out muffled, but Rory still responds truthfully, to her dismay. “’S not jus’ a crush I fink, def’nit’ly more, but the chances of him liking me back have t’ be slim t’ none.”

Benny snorts and shrugs, a smirk still adorning his face.

“I don’t know man, only one way to find out now!”

To that, Rory pouts, shaking his head and running their hands down their face and then shaking his hands to loosen them up a bit.

“Whatever. Let’s just get this over with, I guess.”

 Rory waits in the wings of the stage, looking over the crowd, his stomach twisting in knots. He fidgets with the cord of the microphone in his hands as he catches sight of Ethan and Sarah, lost in their own conversation as they wait for their friends to take the stage finally, the last act of the day. The tech crew is nearly done loading up Benny’s drum set, making sure everything is set up correctly and is all tuned up alongside Erica’s guitar. One of the crew stops by Rory, taking the mic from their hands and tapping it a couple times and mumbling into it to test it, before giving it back with a thumbs up. Rory nods in thanks, and turns back to look out at the crowd. Erica comes to stand just behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder gently.

 “Everything okay?”

 Rory half-shrugs. “Well, you know, just terrified. Not of the crowd, though.”

   Erica nods in understanding, patting their shoulder a couple times comfortingly. After a few moments, they both hear the voice of the stage manager further back in the wing say ‘      five minutes to places    ,’ and turn back to look in their direction, spotting Benny nearby in the process.

 “Thank you, five.” Rory and Erica say simultaneously. Rory takes a deep breath, shaking out his limbs and rocking back and forth slightly to calm their nerves. Erica pats them on the shoulder one more time, squeezing gently, and she walks off to go grab her guitar from the stagehand holding onto it.

 “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” Benny chirps, coming up behind Rory and bumping shoulders as he passes, heading to his drum set with drumsticks in hand. Rory takes another deep breath, and makes his way to the front end of the stage. She looks back over her shoulder at Erica and Benny, who both give her an encouraging thumbs up. She smiles, and gives one right back.

   “Let’s rock!”

 They patiently await for their cue, poised and ready, and suddenly the two sides of the curtain roll open, revealing the small band. The crowd – which was a bit larger of a turnout than they expected, but it is a festival after all – cheers, and Rory can’t help but grin at the sight. They throw their free hand up in the air and wave it excitedly, bringing the mic up to their mouth with their other hand.

 “Helloooo Whitechapel!” They start, and the crowd whoops and whistles in response. “My name is Rory, and these are my two friends Erica and Benny. We’ve got something special in store for you today, and we hope you enjoy it. This is ‘I Think I Love You’ by Tenacious D!”

 The crowd cheers once more, and when they quiet down, Rory turns back to his two bandmates, counting them down silently, and then it begins.

 As both of Erica’s and Benny’s solos come to an end and the chorus is ready to begin, Rory takes a chance to step towards the end of the stage, a determined look in his eyes. Ethan watches, quirking an eyebrow as Rory points a finger directly at him, but then it all clicks, and his face flushes. Rory smiles sheepishly, and brings the mic back to his lips.

 “Ethan, I have to tell you something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time, but didn’t have the courage to say before… I think I love you.”

 The crowd cheers loudly and Rory pauses, thinking, before they shut their eyes and shake their head, waving their hand as if to shake off their last statement, and start again, growing more passionate with each word that comes out of their mouth.

  “Y’know what, scratch that, I do love you! But, I’m gonna say ‘I think I love you,’ because I don’t even know if this is love, ‘cause I’ve never felt this feeling before, and I think I might be going insane!”

 The crowd cheers again, and Rory seems to forget where she is for a moment, but she shakes it off and an awkward smile breaks out onto her face. She tries to dance around casually as she searches the crowd again, looking for Ethan, and a full grin replaces the awkward one she had before as she finds him and sees that his expression matches hers – lovestruck.

 “HEY, I think I love you! So what am I so afraid of?!” Rory breaks into song again with added vigor, bouncing around the stage and trying not to get tangled in the microphone cord. Ethan can’t help but watch with adoration, and Sarah grabs him by the shoulders and begins to shake him back and forth, squealing in his ear. Benny fist pumps once, a huge grin on his face, and Erica smirks, both of them feeding off of Rory’s energy and playing with added intensity.

         “Do you think I have a case? Let me ask you to your face,” Rory turns back around, looking for Ethan in the crowd once more, and once she finds him she outstretches her hand towards him, speaking to Ethan directly. Ethan beams.

 “Do you think you love me? I think I love you!”

 “Thank you, Whitechapel! Good night!”

 As the crowd roars and the curtains close, Sarah practically shoves Ethan through the throngs of people, trying to work their way backstage. A few handfuls of people notice the pair and try to move out of their way, but the rest are still buzzing with the excitement of the performance that Rory, Erica, and Benny just gave. Ethan tries to mumble “oops” or  “sorry” to anyone they bump into, but Sarah comes to the rescue and just yells “coming through!” to anyone within earshot, and that seems to work at least somewhat. Eventually, they make their way to the wings of the stage, and push past the curtain, weaving through the tech crew that are working to clean up. Sarah eventually spots Erica near the dressing rooms, and throws up her arms, waving to try and catch her attention.

   “Erica!”

 At the mention of her name, Erica whips her head around, until her eyes land on Sarah. She smiles softly at her, and when she spots Ethan following right behind Sarah, her smile turns into a knowing smirk. Ethan’s face turns bright red, and Erica snickers.

 “Go get ‘em, lover boy!” She quips, pointing over her shoulder with her thumb at one of the dressing rooms. Ethan waves her off, his blush spreading to his ears and neck. He can hear the girls start to giggle and chatter away about something else as he walks to the door that Erica had gestured at, and he stands in front of it awkwardly as he tries to think of something intelligent he could possibly say to Rory instead of just allowing his brain to turn into a bag of bricks. He feels like with the performance alone, Rory had already put the whole thing and the feelings he had into words so perfectly, what else could he possibly add? As he’s standing there lost in thought, the door suddenly flies open and Ethan jumps.

 “Shoot, sorry, my bad, I’ll mov–”

 “Oh! Ethan, hey!”

 Ethan stops, his mouth agape as he realizes he’s now face-to-face with the exact vampire he needed to talk to… completely unprepared to do so.

 “...Rory!”

 Rory beams at him, and Ethan feels like his brain completely short-circuits at the sight.

 “Uhh… I– uhm. You… you did. Good. You did good!” He somehow manages to stutter out, and Rory snickers.

 “Thanks, man. Although, that stuttering was a bit painful to watch,” Rory says, before their eyes widen and they cover their mouth with their hand in horror. “Oh my god, I am      so     sorry. Benny gave Erica this stupid truth potion which she then gave to      me     because      she     didn’t wanna drink it, and of course      I drank it all, and–!”

 Ethan places his hand over the one Rory has shielding their mouth, and chuckles. If vampires could blush, Ethan knows that Rory would be just as red as he is. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes at the mention of his best friend’s failed plan.

 “I told Benny that his plan would never work, Erica’s too smart for that,” He says, then his eyes widen as well, and he tries to recover, “N-not to say that you’re not smart or anything, because you are and can be, i-it’s just–”

 Rory giggles, taking Ethan’s hand in both of her own, and Ethan never thought he could do it but he manages to blush darker than before; he has to be radiating heat now, there’s no way he isn’t, but either Rory doesn’t notice or he simply doesn’t say anything, to Ethan’s relief.

 “Hey, it’s okay! You’re good, we’re good,” She says, pausing to look down at their joined hands. She smiles, but furrows her brows a bit, and Ethan tilts his head questioningly.

 “Did… did you like the song? It wasn’t supposed to be a confession-of-love performance, just a regular one, but that’s how it ended up, I guess. Thanks to the dumb truth potion, and a spur-of-the-moment decision I made at our rehearsal yesterday.”

 “I loved it, you guys did great. You did great. I loved watching it. Watching you.”

 Rory beams again, and Ethan grins right back, until he remembers something, and smirks.

 “Oh! To answer your questions from before – I think you do have a case, and I do think I love you.” Ethan adds cleverly. Rory blinks at him a couple times, confused, before it finally clicks and he cackles, pulling Ethan close and wrapping his arms around him, squeezing him in a hug. Ethan squawks at the sudden movement, but recovers quickly, breaking into a fit of giggles and squeezing right back.

 “I love you, Ethan!”

 “I love you, Rory.”

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Kraven The Hunter - Thoughts

Let’s state right now by saying that 90% of the reason I went was for Fred 😭 the other 10% was ATJ, Russel Crowe and it being a Marvel film to be honest.

I’m also still slightly ill as I’ve been battling a cold since late Sunday/early Monday so I probably shouldn’t have gone but I dosed myself with Sudafed and for the most part wasn’t congested during the film, plus I feel miles better today, so…yeah. Bear with me if I seem dumb or like I missed something 😭

Anyway… Spoilers below for Kraven the Hunter!

First, some general things:

The way the critics were going on, you’d think this film was completely unwatchable and that there’s zero redeeming features, which in my opinion is not true at all

Let me make it clear right now: is it the best movie I’ve ever seen? No. Is it the best Marvel film I’ve seen? Also no. Is it the best Sony Marvel film I’ve seen? Still not really. But it was watchable and I had a good time eating popcorn while watching it

I really could have done without the cinema going couple on the row behind me who kept going “it’s Kraven time” during the film and who laughed at weird moments but eh, they aren’t the worst people I’ve been stuck in a movie theatre with

AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON’S ABS 🥵

The best performances in this movie were definitely Aaron, Fred and Russell in my opinion (although young Sergei and Dmitri were also good)

Some of the line deliveries in this film were not always it 😭 I don’t know if it’s a post production ADR problem but Ariana DeBose had some really wooden line deliveries which baffles me because she’s an Oscar winner?!? Did she just not care?

Some of the special effects were also not it; I wasn’t expecting ATJ to fight a real lion or for a real bear to kill Nikolai but come on now-

Oh this film delivered on bloody and violent!

My only knowledge of Kraven before this film was from watching half of JackSepticEye’s Spider-Man 2 playthrough so I’m probably the worst person to ask about whether they did his story justice or not 😭

Okay, now the actual film:

I was half expecting David Harbour’s character from Black Widow to turn up in Russian prison 😭

(Speaking Russian) “Can I sit with you at lunch?” “No.” - ASDFGHJKL

Kraven really wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be gone in 3 days, he was in and out fast

Bear with me and I’m sorry if I sound stupid but is Kraven damage proof or are the Russian guards just shit shots? 😭

My mind blanked for a hot second when ATJ turned around shirtless at the beginning and his fucking 8 pack was on view 🥵

The film kind of weirdly started in present day, then spent 30ish minutes in flashbacks, then went back to present day which was an interesting choice

Baby Dmitri 🥹 I wanted to protect him so bad

Nikolai really just went “boys, your mother is dead. She took her own life, she was weak, she does not deserve funeral so we’re going hunting”?!?!

Calypso being there and being told by her granny about the tarot cards saying something bad was going to happen, and being given the potion was…very convenient. Like the grandma really was just there to dump some lore and plot devices I guess

FUCK PEOPLE WHO HUNT ANIMALS 😤 the ONLY reason it’s ever remotely okay to hunt animals is if you’re doing it for food/survival. If you’re doing it for trophies, for “legacy”, just for the horns etc., you can get fucked

I felt so sad when the hunters were making fun of Dmitri for being a bastard 😭 at the very least Nikolai said “it’s not boy’s fault for his father’s weakness”, he’s not a great father but at the very least he said that

^So does this mean that Dmitri’s mother is not Sergei’s mother? Because both boys are Nikolai’s sons? But did Sergei’s mother raise Dmitri too or…?

Sergei really just wanted to protect Dmitri and he got injured 😭 thing is, I don’t think the lion was going to hurt him until Nikolai fucking shot at it - before, it seemed like Sergei and the lion were having a moment, and it only got aggressive when it was shot at, so really it’s Nikolai’s fault entirely

Calypso being more interested in her grandma’s wack ass tarot cards and potion than in the giraffes on safari was by the most unbelievable part to me, like that girl really was so unbothered about the fucking animals in nature?!?

The lion carried Sergei’s lifeless body for MILES, saw Calypso standing there, put Sergei down and looked at her for a moment before wandering off, as if he was bringing him to her?!? 💀

I’m so confused, is it the potion that gave Kraven his abilities? The lion’s blood entering his?!? A mixture of both?!! They don’t really go into detail

Sergei: *lying in Ghanian hospital after being mauled by a lion and being medically dead for at least 3 minutes* // Nikolai: Get your ass up I’m taking you boys to London

Sergei’s mom wrote him a note before she offed herself telling him not to become his father so that’s…why he doesn’t want to be like his father I guess

Dmitri’s powers are shown by him doing spot on imitations of other people’s voices, like he opens his mouth and Russell Crowd’s voice came out, and Sergei is like “you’re getting way too good at that”

Nikolai killed the lion 😭 fuck that guy

I get that Sergei was upset about his dad being an asshole but why did he shut Dmitri out like that 😭 so rude of him

So because his dad is a dick, young Sergei decides he’s going to run away to Northern Russia or Serbia or wherever, abandoning his little brother who their father clearly doesn’t like very much… bro-

I wasn’t aware that Russia or Serbia or wherever he went had a particularly large buffalo population, can someone confirm?

How does his vision just zero in on things from absolute miles away while his eyes turn gold?!?

After young Sergei it switches back to present day and I do feel they could have done it a bit better? It just cuts to black then cuts to present day I think. There’s a scene before this young Sergei seems to be testing his new abilities by jumping over a chasm, running through the forest etc, they could have easily done a switch there in my opinion (if that makes sense)

I smiled so stupidly when Kraven got a voicemail that started with his father’s voice before Dmitri laughed because it was him messing about 😭 And immediately I love him-

Did Kraven eat a fish raw?!? 💀

I agree with Sergei/Kraven, we should 100% kill hunters who do it just for sport/not for survival

HE BIT A GUY’S FUCKING NOSE OFF I WAS GAGGED A BIT

I won’t lie, I was also gagged when he was going through the book of names, found the Andrei guy’s name, then immediately killed him before crossing off the name like it was nothing, I think that was pretty fucking good

So Calypso is a lawyer and Kraven somehow managed to track her down just from the tarot card she left in his pocket and the potion vial?!? I know that’s his whole thing, tracking and finding people, but HOW-

With all due respect to the actors, there was pretty much no chemistry between Kraven and Calypso so if they were meant to be love interests, I was not feeling it at all

Not me getting overexcited when I saw the Daily Bugle newspaper and website 😭

Aleksei (the Rhino) has a dog and I thought he was going to hurt the dog 😭 he just snapped at him but still-

“Like a Rhino, I take what I want” - BRO I AM SORRY BUT WHAT

DMITRI PLAYING PIANO AND SINGING SIGN OF THE TIMES BY HARRY STYLES?!?

For the record, whenever Dmitri “sings”, it is NOT Fred singing - they use studio recordings of the actual artists and Fred just lip syncs which is kind of a shame because I personally want to hear that man sing 😭

So Dmitri runs a nightclub where he plays piano and sings while impersonating actual singers which is…definitely an interesting use of his gift, to be honest

Nikolai says Dmitri does this for him and that just breaks my heart personally

“My son, he is like a Chameleon” - bro. Bro. BRO. This film has zero subtlety 💀

There’s something about Fred wearing rings and a gold chain, his chest hair on display, that just hits different 😋

Nikolai: I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like Tony Bennett

If I had a nickel for every time Fred was in a movie released in 2024 hiding under a piece of furniture, I’d have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened in two different movies released a month apart 😭

Dmitri was really upset about his club being the site of a fucking shoot off (understandable), and Nikolai started saying what a coward he was and berating him, as if Dmitri didn’t impersonate Tony fucking Bennett for his father-

There’s a noise the Rhino guy let’s put when he hears that a load of his men were killed at the nightclub that made my entire screening (of which there were not many admittedly) burst out laughing - not in a good way, but in a “what the actual fuck” way because he sounded like a velociraptor or something?!? It was so fucking odd

Kraven scales the outside of the apartment building to get into Dmitri’s penthouse instead of just taking the lift like a normal person-

FRED IN THE SHOWER I REPEAT FRED IN THE SHOWER-

^Regrettably, we do not see him in the shower nor shirtless - for some reason Dmitri has a bathrobe on before he steps out of the shower 😭

IT’S DMITRI’S BIRTHDAY 🥳

“When it’s your birthday, we can go to a petting zoo or whatever it is you do to unwind” ASDFGHJKL I LOVE DMITRI SO MUCH

I literally burst out laughing when Sergei and Dmitri walked past a couple while going into the club and Sergei was like “oh nice perfume” to the woman, and she said “I’m not wearing perfume”, and he sniffed again then looked at the boyfriend who had wide eyes - for a moment I thought they were making a joke about the boyfriend wearing perfume but then Sergei was like “she had to find out eventually” and I realised “ohhh he cheated on her and has another woman’s perfume, got it”. Had us all laughing in the cinema though, so 10/10 for that scene

Dmitri got really hammered and I think that’s adorable of him personally, that Sergei had to put him to bed like that 😭

Dmitri saying he forgives Sergei for leaving and that he knows the only reason Sergei comes back for his birthday every year is because he feels guilty?!? 😭

Sergei decides to sleep barefoot in the park where it’s allegedly quieter for him (which is bullshit because anyone who’s been in London knows that even at night it’s a fucking nightmare of noise)

“I was going to hold it open for you” “No you weren’t” ASDFHHKL

Not him telling that random man he hunts people like are you even trying to be low-key about being a serial killer at this point 😭 (cool motive but still murder-)

So the Rhino’s men went to Dmitri’s apartment to find Sergei and trashed the place, and they took Dmitri instead?!? Like you’re telling me they managed to figure out he had been to Dmitri’s apartment but they didn’t see him lying in a public park sleeping on the floor?!? 💀

I just want to know why Sergei didn’t put any shoes on before going up to the apartment, he had that whole lift ride to do it-

You can tell that most of the film is set in London because when Kraven is running through the streets barefoot and climbing shit, no one moves out of the way or blinks an eye 💀

THEY CUT OFF DMITRI’S FINGER?!? 😭

Nikolai really believes his legacy and power is more important than Dmitri’s life, which is why he refuses to pay a ransom… fucking hate that man-

Not Dmitri sassing the guard by mimicking him 😂 he got smacked bad for it but still, love him

I am still so confused about the Foreigner and his powers like…? Is it when he takes his glasses off, it’s to do with the eyes or…?

The whole monastery thing is a blur for me because I was trying to clean my glasses at this point and so the screen was literally a blur 😭

That guy recording on his phone like “We killed the Hunter!” Only for Sergei to appear behind him and go “no you didn’t” 💀

If I’m getting this right, the Rhino’s whole deal is that he was upset by Nikolai on that hunting trip years ago (when the boys were kids) saying he was weak, so he allowed himself to be experimented on so he’d be stronger, and now he has rock hard skin but he’s also in pain which is why he has to keep medicine in his backpack that’s fed to him through a tube into his side?!? And when he takes the tube out he goes from looking normal to the greyscale rhino shit?!?

I’m sorry to be that thirsty bitch but Fred looks so good in the turtleneck 😌

^Me too, mate, me too

There’s a scene where Kraven meets Calpyso off some kind of aircraft when she arrives in Russia or Serbia or wherever, and I’m so sorry but the line delivery Ariana DeBose gave was REALLY wooden and their conversation was clearly ADR work.

When it shifted to the next scene of them walking through a forest, it was so fucking jarring and I can’t put my finger on why exactly that is

Kraven wrestling with the leopard only for it to run away and he’s like “…knew her as a cub. She’s a lot bigger then last time” “?!?

So is Kraven just able to communicate and be a friend to all animals or…?

The whole second half of the film is a blur to me quite frankly, Calypso has to go to Serbia or wherever to stay with Kraven because her informant was working with the Rhino’s men, all the baddies went to go kill Kraven… I don’t know, man, a lot happened and my congestion was kind of coming back by this point, so…yeah

Some random lore drop: Calypso is good at archery because she learnt at camp, I think?

THE GASP I LET OUT WHEN KRAVEN USED THE BEAR TRAP ON THAT GUY’S FACE, WHAT THE FUCK-

The Foreigner uses this poison dart thing that apparently causes the person to see their deepest fears and then kills them, which is why Sergei starts hallucinating fucking spiders in the middle of the woods

So Sergei’s mother was driven insane because…she was seeing spiders? And she’s afraid of spiders which she’s passed on to Sergei?

(Me too, Sergei, me too 🥲)

I shouldn’t be surprised that Calypso saved Sergei by shooting the Foreigner with a crossbow especially since ten minutes before they made a point of her holding a bow and going “I’m good at archery” 💀 also that she just so happened to have some more of the magical strength “this can cure any injury” potion on her person so she could save Kraven

I’m being 100% serious when I say that my reaction to seeing The Rhino in his full form was “what in the actual fucking greyscale?!?”

Kraven stabbing the Rhino in that little hole where his medicine tube should be was so nasty 😭 and he was still fighting after that?!?

Bearing in mind the Rhino’s skin is indestructible enough to withstand being shot, I’m honestly surprised that being trampled by a buffalo herd was enough to do the man in 😐

When Dmitri appeared with the gun I thought that the film was dropping a “Dmitri was in cahoots with the Rhino all along” twist but…no. He was just wanting to shoot the Rhino but his brother wouldn’t let him (would it even have done anything though given the Rhino seems bullet proof?)

WAIT IS THE RHINO FUCKING DEAD?!? I THOUGHT HE WAS A HUGE SPIDERMAN VILLAIN IM SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW

This film had way too many bad guys for any of them to feel actually threatening: Nikolai (technically?), Rhino, Foreigner… they were all shoved in I guess

Nikolai was the one who leaked the video of his son being the Hunter who escaped prison etc like…? I thought Sergei was the favourite, bro, the fuck you doing-

HE REALLY TOOK THE BULLETS OUT HIS DAD’S GUN AND A BEAR KILLED NIKOLAI

Fred was so fucking hot in his last scene and a half, I’m sorry but I’m right, stop booing me-

The first two times we saw Fred lip sync in the earlier part of the film, it looked more believable that Dmitri was singing with someone else’s voice but maybe that’s because the camera didn’t linger too much…in this last scene though? Oh that was OBVIOUS lip syncing, again that could be an ADR/post production thing though?

Dmitri says that a doctor in New York did something to him…? Who? Is it Miles Warren or whatever the name Rhino mentioned earlier was?

Dmitri is pissed that Sergei killed their father, says Sergei is just like him, just “big game hunters searching for their next great trophy” and he’s…technically not really wrong?

BRO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK-

So Sergei is trying to talk to Dmitri as he walks away across this busy London Bridge (I think it’s the Millennium Bridge?) and when Dmitri turns around he’s got Sergei’s face and speaks in Sergei’s voice…?? And then he walks away and his face goes all white and porcelain and blank before going back to being Fred?!?

SERGEI WAS GAGGED AND SO WAS I 😭

Fred looked hot as fuck though so I’m not going to complain

The film ends with Kraven going back to his dad’s London house, reading a note from his father and a vest made from the skin/fur of the lion he killed years ago, and Sergei puts it on before sitting in a chair in front of a mirror…and then the film just fucking ends?!?

There’s really no mid credits or post credits scene 😶

FRED HECHINGER THE MOVIE STAR YOU ARE

Final thoughts:

Honestly the film was okay. Not great but it was watchable and not the worst film I’ve seen (that honour is currently held by “Sausage Party”). “Mid” is a good word to be honest.

Listen I know I’m biased but I do truly think Fred was a highlight of this film 😭 the fact that Sony has already said they’re giving up on the SM villain universe thing they’ve had going on makes me sad because we probably won’t see more of Fred as Dmitri but given the reception some of the films have had… yeah.

I feel like this could have been a great movie if the editing and post production had been done better. And some of the lines, obviously, because there were some REALLY cringey lines in this film that not even the greatest of actors could save (I’m pretty sure a few of them were definitely the Rhino)

It makes me sad that you can tell ATJ was genuinely passionate about this character and doing him justice, but the material he was given let him down I think - again, that could be a mixture of editing and writing

Hearing F bombs dropped in a Marvel film just seems so strange to me 😭

Honestly, I think I’m probably giving this a 5.5/10, maybe 6/10 if I want to be generous. It was watchable and fun to watch while eating popcorn, which can be nice sometimes.

[heymickyursofine]

requestwhereBennyWeirtriestousealovepotiononthereadertomakeherfallinlovewithhimbutitdoesn'tworksinceshealreadyhas

Love Potions. Benny Weir X Fem!Reader

Summary: Benny is in love with you and works on a love potion to make you feel the same for him, but what he doesn’t know is that the feeling is mutual, and it has been for awhile.

Warnings: Use of Y/N once, Benny pretty much forcing the reader to fall in love with him, think that’s it.

“Benny, I don’t think this is a good idea.” Ethan nervously bites his lip as he watches Benny hold a spell book in one hand as he mixes his concoction.

Benny shushes his best friend, “trust me, Ethan. This is going to be awesome.” Whenever Benny tells him “trust me”, Ethan knows it’s going to go horribly wrong.

The next day Benny showed up to school with a big smile on his face. He walks to his locker and Erica walks up to him with an annoyed look on her face, “what’s got you in such a good mood?”

“Nothing.” He immediately puts on a poker face when he hears her voice.

She glares at him for a couple of seconds before walking past him allowing Benny to let out a sigh of relief. He grabs his books for his first class and walks to the room.

Benny’s leg was bouncing as he sat in his seat, not really paying attention to the teacher speak. “Benny,” Ethan whispers next to him, no answer. “Benny!” Ethan whispers a bit louder and catches his attention, “what?” Benny harshly whispers back.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your leg, it’s bouncing, you’re nervous.” Benny lets out a sigh, “what if it doesn’t work?”

“What are you talking about?” “The potion!” Benny says, like it's the most obvious thing.

“I think it’s best if it doesn’t work, right?”

“No! I’ve had a crush on her for years! There’s no way she could love me without this spell.” Ethan rolls his eyes, “how do you know that?”

“I just know!” Benny whispers harshly, again, and turns his attention back to the teacher.

Lunch rolled around and Benny found himself walking up to the vending machine to get your favorite drink, a perfect idea he thought since he’s done it before so it wouldn’t be suspicious and he could put the potion into it. He grabs the drink out of the delivery compartment and goes into a corner away from the bustling students.

“Benny, I think you should think this through.” He jumps slightly from Ethan’s voice behind him, causing him to spill a small amount of the potion onto the floor, the sparkly pink liquid shimmers on the ground. “Ethan! You made me spill it, it might not work now!”

“Yeah I hope not.” Ethan walks over to the table where you, Erica, Sarah, and Rory sat at.

“You okay, Ethan?” You ask him as he takes a seat across from you, noticing his slight frown. “Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” He dismisses you and you hesitantly go back to your conversation with Erica.

Benny comes to sit between Ethan and Rory minutes later sliding the drink over to you, “for you, Y/N,” “Benny! You shouldn’t have,” your face heats up at the small gesture. “It’s nothing,” Benny shrugs you off with a smile, Ethan becomes uneasy.

Of course, you open the drink right away, taking a long sip as Erica rants to you and Sarah about this annoying kid in her class. Benny studies you very closely through the whole lunch period seeing if there’s any changes in your behavior, there was none.

As the bell rings and you down the rest of your drink, Benny frowns which goes unnoticed by you, but Ethan sees instantly, “Did your little spell not work?” He says in a tone laced with fake sympathy.

Benny follows after Ethan, “why are you mad at me?”

Ethan scoffs, “because you're making her have feelings that aren’t true! If she falls in love with you it’s not going to be real, Benny.”

He walks off and leaves Benny alone, now realizing that he made a big huge mistake, but why didn’t the spell work? When school ends and Benny arrives home his grandma greets him when he walks through the door, he decides to ask her why his potion didn’t work. “Grandma, can I ask you something but you promise not to get mad at me?”

His grandma is suspicious, “what have you done now?” She dusts her hands off on her apron.

“Well, I might have made a love potion…”

“You did…what?”

“You said you wouldn’t get mad at me!” He whines. “Benny, do you not understand the consequences this could have?”

“Yes, Grandma. I know the consequences now. But it didn’t work, it’s supposed to work in an instant but it didn’t.”

“Don’t you see what this means, Benny?”

“No Grandma, that’s why I’m asking you.” He was getting a little annoyed at the moment.

“Whoever you gave the potion to is already in love with you, dear.”

—

Words from Micky - Bit of a cliffhanger lol, if this does good I’ll do a part 2. Feels a little bit rushed and there’s not much of the reader in this it’s mainly about Benny.

Part 2 (HERE) PART 3 (HERE) - - PART 3 COMING SOON COMMENT TO BE TAGGED!

FOLLOW MY WATTPAD: controversiallyoungf

[ask-the-nine-links]

Hi, I'm the Delivery Anon! Like the postman, but I deliver packages and take requests. Wind, I have soup and biscuits from your grandmother (she says to share them with everyone) and bombs from Tetra. Oh, and Medli and Komali send you potions. My next destination is Skyloft! Sky, if you want something in particular tell me, and if the rest of you want something from there tell me too.

Wind: Oh, sick! Jokes on my grandma though, as much as I love and respect her this soup and biscuits are MINE. Also I don't know how you got those bombs here, they look like they'd explode the second I touched them. The potions are helpful though!

Sky: Oh, if you're heading to Skyloft could you tell everyone there I said hi? Also, would you be able to pick up some more air potions? I'll pay you when you return.

[thedivineflowers]

Pt2. Of after the overblot. 😈😈😈😈 MWUAHAHAHBHABAHAGAHHAAGHAAHAHABSUSJSNJDHRGDJJX

You woke up in the infirmary as usual. But you oddly felt calm, too calm. You felt a warmth forming at your stomach and you looked to see Malleus standing beside you with his hands above your tummy. "You're awake, child. How are you feeling?" He asked as he gently lifted your body up and had you sit up straight on the infirmary bed. "I feel fine. And my stomach feels weird." You said as he chuckled. "That's just the spell that I placed. Don't worry. You're supposed to feel that way." He said as he helped you out of the bed. "How did I get here?" You asked him "You collapsed in Crowleys office. You're body was feeling exhaustion even though you've slept for two weeks. If you had slept longer and not force yourself to wake up you probably wouldn't have fallen." He said as he helped you put on your slippers. "What time is it? Where are the others?" You asked him as he guided you to the door. "They're waiting for you. Would you like to see them?" He asked as he guided you out of the infirmary. "yeah..."

Heartslaybul:

Dawg everything is happening at once. One is crying and is hugging you to their head. The other is posting photos of you looking better and well. one is just standing idly next to you and the other is fussing over you while another one of them is trying to feed you cookies.

Guess the order 😈😈

Savannaclaw:

Jack is giving you like protein bars and stuff (maybe a small cactus plushie idk 🤫🤫) and Ruggie is giving you one of his grandmas homemade donuts! Meanwhile Leonas keeping his tail around you arm so he can keep an eye on you and so you don't get hurt again. (He might bring Cheka over for a visit. And maybe he bought some things that you mentioned that you wanted, maybe.)

Octavinelle:

Before you came to see them Azul was whipping up a storm of potions for you. One to help you with your magic, one to help you with any side effects from your magic, one to boost your energy, and another to call for him for anything! When Azul gave it to you you fell to the ground with the potions. He used a spell to make the bag lightweight and he gave you some food to eat while Jade and Floyd guarded you and gave you some expensive gifts from who knows where.

Scarabia:

You and Kalim are running at each other full force. But not without Jamil 😡😡. As Kalim and you squeezed each other tightly Jamil as stuck trying to breath and asking you if you were okay. Once that was finished Kalim dragged you to your room that you had in the dorm along with Jamil. Kalim had given you multiple boxes full of things that you were to scared to open. While Jamil just gave you a nice meal and your favorite drink. ( He cares about you just as much as Kalim but he knows he doesn't have the money or energy like Kalim to show it. So he cooked for you and stayed close to you both. ( Y'all ended the night by you and Kalim sleeping on the floor with multiple pillows. Jamil stayed up a bit to watch over the both of you.)

Pomefiore:

Vil is fussing over you while also doing your makeup. Epel is waiting next to you so you both can goof around in the mud and Rook is doing your hair. Once your deemed decent enough your dragged off to go eat while Epel salutes to you. You both ended up eating unknown greens and kid safe vitamin gummies. But Vil then took you to go practice your magic while Epel and Room spectate. You almost cut Rooks perfect bob cut if it weren't for his hat. You and Epel then eventually get to go and goof off but you both came back with very noticeable nose bleeds and Vil scolded you both.

Ignihyde:

Idia has you take a small visit to STYX (? Is that how you spell it) and he tries to figure out the reason of your sudden overblot and magic formation while Ortho distracts you with games that match your interests. Then once the testing for the day has ended you three go into Idias room and play games while you and Idia make battery acid drinks.

Diasomnia:

Lilia is a bit weary of allowing you near the three of them because of the overblot but you were a kid! And you of course couldn't harm Malleus because you barely had control over your magic so he pushed it aside and greeted you with warm arms as he tried feeding you his ravioli with some weird sauce. Silver stepped in and gave you some sweets to snack on while Sebek stood guard to protect you and Malleus. Who simply sat next to you and watched over you just in case your magic acts up.

Grim:

He had slept next to your bed while you were resting. He tried using some magic to help you recover faster but he just sighed and slept next to you as well after your body rejected his magic. He was so happy to see you well after your overblot and collapsing that he dropped all of your gifts he had for you and hugged you. He always followed you everywhere and even helped you adjust to your magic.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHAJWJNEBENSJSNEN

[ooo-yeah-baby]

Potion Pt2

Yandere Benny Weir x reader

I only right sfw, feel free to request! Not proof read.

Benny fiddled with the pink bottle in his pocket as he approached the *object* of his obsessèd affection. 

"Hey, Y/N." He said, sliding into the seat next to her in science class, the first class of the day for the two and they were the first ones in the class for some convenient reason; Ethan and Rory were also in this class but they hadn't arrived yet. 

"Hey, Benny!" She smiled, setting her phone down. "Where's your sidekick?" The girl joked, nudging him with her elbow. 

"Looks like he's not here yet." Benny shrugged back,  a tint of pink flooded to his cheeks and a tingly feeling went to where her elbow had touched him. 

He noticed the water bottle sitting on the table in front of Y/N; the perfect tool. 

"Hey, do you mind if I take a drink?" He pointed to the water bottle. "I'll take the lid off so you don't get my cooties." Y/N giggled a little, he loved her giggle;

"Sure." Then she slid the bottle over to Benny. " I put lemonade in it though so be warned."

Benny nodded in response, slowly undoing the lid and taking a sip. Y/N returned to her phone,  no longer paying attention to the boy next to her, giving Benny the chance to slip just a little bit of his potion into her drink, then screw the lid back on. 

"Thanks." He said as he slid back in his chair, trying to act nonchalant. 

"No worries," Y/N didn't even look up from her phone. He was in the clear. 

Benny spent the whole rest of class waiting for Y/N to take a sip of her drink. Just a sip was all he needed for his plan to start taking effect. 

Eventually, towards the last few minutes of class, she took a drink from her bottle. Benny grabbed her chin, making her turn to look at him just before a pink flash went through her eyes. 

She was his. 

After that all he had to do was find ways to gradually feed her more of the potion until it was gone. 

The more he gave her the more she started to love him back. She was like putty in his hands, much like he was putty in hers. 

He loved her so much he started to get ahead of himself, they were already dating but he wanted more. Benny couldn't stop the lingering feeling of not wanting anyone to talk to her, not even Ethan. 

And Ethan knew exactly what Benny was up to. It couldn't've possibly been a coincidence that right after Benny made the love potion, the two began going out. 

It was like the two were playing capture the flag with Y/N as the flag. Back and forth the two would try to get Y/Ns attention, Benny often achieving more than Ethan. 

But really, what could Ethan do? He didn't have any magic. He didn't know how to break the spell. He couldn't do anything. 

Except, he could tell Grandma. 

It'd be hard with how territorial Benny was being at the moment though. Benny wasn't even letting him over to his house. He'd use excuses like;

"Oh! We're getting new flooring!"

"Sorry, we're not home now!" 

And sometimes just blatantly telling him he can't come over. 

And all the while Y/N was consuming more and more of Benny's potion. 

After a few weeks, Ethan was finally able to get Y/N alone. 

"Ethan?" He had pulled her from the hall into the janitors closet. The pink in her eyes was blazing. Ethan grabbed her hand, hoping to see a vision. 

What flashes through his mind was confusing- a view of date and hearts and P.D.A. At the end of the vision Ethan could hear a few words and then Y/Ns eyes changed back to their original color. Ethan coudnt make out the words though. 

During this, Y/N was getting worried. 

"Ethan... I should probably get going now... Benny is probably looking for me." 

"Don't go to him!" Ethan shouts. Y/N flinches. 

"What do you mean?" 

"It's... hard to explain... but just stay here for a few more minutes..." Y/N nodded but her agreeable nature didn't last long. A few minutes later Benny could be heard yelling for Y/N out in the hall. Her eyes flash and she reaches for the door handle. 

"Y/N please! Just a few more minutes..." Ethan held her arms tighter. Then, the door opened. The two fell out of the closet, Ethan landing on top of Y/N. Benny stood above them, a deep scowl on his face. 

He grabbed Y/Ns hand and yanked her up, shoving Benny to the side. 

"Stay out of it." He said as he walked away with Y/N wrapping herself around his arm. 

[yourlocaltreesimp]

Wild: Can somebody pass me my will to live?

Four: Sorry, I can't just throw Y/N across the table like that.

۵♡۵

(Tw: Yandarism)

Their obsession definitely bleeds into their nicknames for you over time. Simply using your name, then the usual pet names (babe, love, darlin’ ((i see you twi simps)) sweetheart,etc) But that all… shifts after they spiral. It’s quite subtle at points, “My heart” “My Beloved” “My Sun” Nothing too outrageous, in fact youd actually have found it cute until you woke up one night. You found consciousness before your eyes fluttered open, the sound of footsteps making you freeze. No one should’ve been awake it the inn, let alone at the room. But four pairs of feet (at least you assumed, you kept your eyes shut) filtered into the room. Your fingers grazed the hilt of the knife Four made for you, mentally going over the training Warriors had given you in the preparation for this moment. You had healing potions courtesy of Hyrule, Bottled fairies from Sky, Wind’s Grandma’s soup (just as on par, you were convinced that lady was magic) and enchanted jewelry from Legend. You were about as prepared as you could be before one of the men spoke.

“Are they alright?” …Four? His voice sounded softer than normal, careful to not intrude on the quiet of the room. You heard shuffling move closer, a warm hand gently tucking back your hair

“Better now that vermin isn’t there to disturb the peace-“ Four also mumbled? His voice was lower now, clear and projecting

“Blue.” Four’s voice responded again, now from a point closer in the room. This voice was cool, a little quiet and flat but calming. The voice proceeding it halted its mumbles. The hand continued to card through your hair, cussing your cheek.

“Time won’t be too happy when he finds out. But no one deserves to talk down to such utter divinity and expect to get away with it.”Another voice, calm and cool lien the once proceeding it but with the softness of the first and clearness of the second. You were thoroughly confused now, mind running for answers but not finding any.

“If. With Twilight’s… assistance… I doubt any man or god would find a body to take pity on.” The calm one spoke again, his voice ushering you to uneasy sleep as the other kept combing through your hair gently. The others murdered their agreements, their voices blurring as you fell into sleep.

Needless to say you were more observant since. But it didn’t matter how badly you searched, it’s not like they’d let you leave.