#is say headcanon but no this is just canon

[s-lorelei]

I personally feel like Harry Potter is one of those franchises that's been practically corrupted by its fandom.

The fandom should respect the author, but doesn’t.

The fandom has people in it who say:

"I don't trust JKR with her own Intellectual Property."

"She doesn't know anything about the Marauders. The world and characters belong to us now."

"She would just make all the Marauders straight, white, and cis." (Not everything has to be gay? Wtf)

It's HER story. None of you children (or adults with immature minds) have any right to say that she doesn't know her characters. If she hadn't written them in the first place, you'd have nothing to do, would you? There would be no wolfstar or jegulus or marauders era to begin with.

And you guys do understand that Regulus is fucking dead, right? James and Lily got married. Remus and Tonks had Teddy. Sirius was too focused on the delusion that he thought he got his best friend back (through Harry) to give a shit about Remus. Evan Rosier was never important to the plot. Lily is actually an important character. "Pandora" Lovegood doesn't exist, and, no, she isn't Evan's twin so stfu. Marlene McKinnon is mentioned once (and it's implied that she married a man). Y'all can't even get Dorcas Meadowes's name correct.

The amount of canon-divergence absurdity in fanon culture is appalling.

...

Name mention counter (in the books):

Marlene McKinnon: 1 (twice if you consider "the McKinnons" as a mention)

Pandora Lovegood: 0

Evan Rosier: 1

Dorcas Meadowes: 1

Grant Chapman: 0 (because he is an OC/self-insert)

Mary Macdonald: 1 (in a flashback)

...

Like- there is absolutely no miniscule amount of evidence that Wolfstar could've ever been anything other than old friends. I wish you guys could see that and stop making up plots and delusional headcanons. (And just because headcanons are what "you believe/think about a character" doesn't mean they don't have to be logical and actually fit into the canon story, so I don’t wanna hear it.) 🙄

And before you tell me "if you don't like it then don't read it"— I don't "read it." I don't read ATYD or Crimson Rivers or Art Heist or whatever other fics are out there that you've decided is canon now. I read the real story, y'know, the seven, very much canon, books. And I was gonna read ATYD, but once I found out how y'all treat it as the Holy Grail of the 1970s Wizarding World, I decided it wasn't my cup of tea because I want to read a fic that is canon-compliant, that doesn't push every hot character into a gay relationship, that doesn't have explicit sex, that doesn't have self-inserts..

Thanks for reading all this if you did.

(This is me venting because I hate so much of fanon and I'm about to crash out.)

If you don't agree or have nothing nice to say about this post, move along and kindly do not engage. Thank you.

[ftmsimonriley]

OK. ghost enlists sometime after 9/11, and i don't think he would've been a butcher's apprentice for more than a year so he would've been 18 - 19, which means theoretically he was born in 1982/83. and soap's first (?) tour is in northern ireland, and presuming it's the year of the good friday agreement (1998 and that it isnt changed in mw canon since it IS alt history.), he'd be 1979/80 at latest (afaik modern soap wasnt successful in sneaking in at 16 so i dont think og soap was either? it's not even part of lore originally)

so ghost dies at 33 or 34 and soap dies (at latest) 36

[dumb-teambucciarati-headcanons]

End of canon part 5 headcanon

Whenever Mista starts thinking about how he can no longer talk to Narancia he will just send him a text message. Maybe a photo or a joke or something stupid that happened that day. Maybe even a “I miss you loser”. And it helps because well sometimes you send a text and don’t get a response right away, since Narancia isn’t responding he must be busy. He can trick his brain into thinking that everything’s ok, even though Narancia is always so quick to respond, this time he just so happens to be distracted.

And Abbacchio, he never responds to his text messages anyways. Unless it’s super important. So if he just texts Abbacchio stupid shit all is good. Abbacchio not gonna respond. He never did so why would he now? Abbacchios just ignoring him as usual.

And of course buccellatis not responding to his text messages, buccellatis more of a phone call kinda guy. Better to not have mission details typed out anywhere. As long as he doesn’t call him than this is normal behavior for bruno to not respond. And why would he want a response to a text saying “I’m sorry I caused your death” anyways? It was way too scary to send the text in the first place and getting a response would be even scarier. Bruno’s probably really upset with him for sending mission details over text again, which is why he isn’t responding. Giorno tried to explain that it’s not his fault but he’s not buying it. He’s not dead anyways. Just not responding.

He got to talk to them all today, his whole team. even though Narancia, Abbacchio, and Bruno were just over text. They haven’t responded but they got the text. The team is just like it used to be because he talked to all of them.

[babybearnation]

So context before idea cheetas are high anxiety animals and zoos often times with introduce them to a dog at a young age to help. Idea cheetah hybrid!f1 driver! mreader x dog hybrid driver. Drives you could please include, Lance, Logan, Charles, Pato, and Oscar can be fluff head canons or smut. Your righting is amazing and I love seeing male reader stuff

this is such a creative idea, i love it!! sticking with fluff headcanons for now! also i chose different dog types for each driver to make it fun and this turned out more gn reader than male, i hope thats okay!

gn!cheetah hybrid!f1 driver!reader (fluff headcanons)

labrador retriever hybrid!lance stroll:

your first meeting went smoothly as lance was extremely friendly and was really eager to become your friend (and didn't mind at all when your friendship became something more)

the two of you love to shower the other in affection when they feel down as it usually perks you both up almost instantly

lance is willing to do almost anything to distract you from your anxiety, including playing games or making a fool out of himself - he just wants you to be okay :(

lance is always super proud of you after races, no matter how well you did, because he knows your anxiety makes racing even harder than it already is

golden retriever hybrid!logan sargeant:

unlike some of the other drivers, logan wasn't afraid of you at all when you first met, in fact, he bounded over straight away and all but demanded to be your friend

logan is a huge fan of affection and it was thanks to an accidental kiss from him that you two finally started dating

its not uncommon for you and logan to get in trouble with the fia because you two could be found racing each other or roughly play fighting in the paddock, scaring people in the process

after leaving f1, logan would still appear in the paddock, there to support you - sure, it was a little bit painful to be there but he loved you too much for that to matter more than it should

miniature longhaired dachshund hybrid!charles leclerc:

this excitable pup was just so eager to make a new friend that he didn't even register your cheetah ears/tail until much later on when someone asked how he wasn't scared of you

charles is very affectionate and loves to cling to you, cuddling up and barking at people when they get too close for his liking

charles has way more energy than you so you'll often have to throw a ball for him to chase whilst you're laying down until he collapses down next to you, all out of energy

shared podiums for you and charles are his favourite podiums in the world and he'll always kiss you on the podium without care for what the fia or the media will say

mestizo hybrid!pato o'ward:

pato was chatting your ear off before you could even be properly introduced to everyone, he's that friendly, but you greatly needed that kind of friendship so you and pato grew super close

this man is so affectionate - everything will be celebrated with a kiss or a hug or a cuddle (or more) if he is there to do so

very energetic and will try not to bother you if you're too anxious but sometimes he will just be sat bouncing his legs until you come over and agree to play with him

enjoys f1 weekends so much more now that you're there and will celebrate nonstop when you win/get on the podium because fuck yeah, that's his cheetah baby!

australian shepherd!oscar piastri:

unlike some other dog hybrids, oscar was a bit more hesitant to approach you at first until he was volunteered to be an anxiety dog for you - the two of you quickly became close

subtly affectionate - he'll link your pinkies or wag his tail so it hits your back or follow you around so you know he's there at all times

knows the perfect ways to distract you from your anxiety and will always be there when and as you need him - if you try and get over it yourself, he'll be upset but very understanding

you two on the podium together leads to a cacophony of noises because you start howling and oscar very weakly tries to copy you and then you two end up laughing so much, you sound like hyenas

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[blightbright]

#sorry I just really hate this take #because there’s so much in canon actively disproving it #and it only really exists to take away all of solas’ agency so he can’t be blamed for any of his crimes #which is like. the entire point of his character. he did those crimes. and then pretends he had to when he didn’t #that’s like. his whole thing

(tags from the above post) Again, there are multiple valid interpretations in Veilguard, because they left it vague, and different people find different takes compelling for various reasons and in various moments of time! I'm not gonna respond exactly point by point (although I have considered the questions you're asking!) but I will say that when I tried to kick the tires of the idea of "Solas is still enslaved until Morrigan uses the final fragment of Mythal's power to release him" (please note IMO it required Morrigan fully taking over the entirety of Mythal's remaining power, because most abusers/slavers will never willingly relinquish their control) and tried to ponder if it can hold up or if canon debunks it, I found it actually can hold up, depending on interpretation and how one decides the mechanics of the magic might work. But it's cool if it's not for you.

The main point I will add is when you said this: "Solas is not literally bound to Mythal. If he was, he’d never have been able to rebel against her in the first place..."

If we step outside the context of DA for a minute and think about the struggles of enslaved and/or imprisoned people more broadly, we can see that, in fact, most rebellions against slavery are led by those who are enslaved. People being constrained in some way (even when they are INTENSELY dehumanized, treated as chattel, and restricted in the most microscopic aspects of their life, speech, and movement) always find clever ways to resist. (Even Solas' highly restrictively bound Wisdom friend in DA:I rebelled by crying out for help psychically in the Fade.) That's the story that's most interesting to me right now. That's what feels meaningful to me at this point in my life. I personally see that story all over Solas' story, there are so many aspects of his plot and backstory that align with it, and I like exploring that. I add magic back in and headcanon that there are certain direct orders/magical programming that he can't avoid that linger even after most of Mythal has died, and others that he's able to circumvent. I see a whole lot of ambiguity in terms of what are his own bad choices, what are kinda his choices but corrupted magically/spiritually, and what's straight up stuff that old direct order remnants are forcing. It also raises age-old questions (without objective answers) about if it's even useful to try and untangle those things at all.

I don't think it's particularly fair to say that a take grappling with a canonically-identified slave rebellion leader's slavery rebellion experience is merely to take away his agency. Or (and you didn't use this word, but I will use it!) that it inherently woobifies him or whatever. I think he's an incredibly complicated character who is not a mindless drone. In that context, it became a more interesting story for me personally when I asked, wait hold on, what if Solas has been trying to resist this whole time? What if he really is begging people to stop him, because the slavery-induced magical inclination to "casually reshape reality" to bring Mythal (his canonical slaver at some point, if we consider vallaslin slave markings, as Cole and Solas do) back to her full power is something Solas has been able to sidestep, fuck with, delay, but cannot, by himself, fully avoid?

No, the veil did not need to come down. It never did.

Something that is extremely consistent throughout inquisition is that the tears in the fade are HURTING spirits. Spirit society, like mortal society, has adapted to having the veil present and just like mortal society it is being thrown into chaos by its weakening.

Something that is consistent throughout trespasser and the media between trespasser and veilguard is that taking down the veil would have harmed everyone and destroyed society as we know it, at the very least killing most (if not all) humans, dwarves and qunari (who have no less of a right to exist than the elves).

He says as much in trespasser, and then never denies it when called out. It’s always “do you truly believe that is my plan” and “I had plans to minimise the damage”, never an explicit “no, that would not happen”. He tells the inquisitor that tearing down the veil will destroy the world and then never denies it when asked, he just stops being so open about it. This is a man who uses careful wording so that he can say he rarely lies, what he doesn’t say is deeply significant.

The veil going up initially hurt people, but the world has since adapted and is now in a state where tearing it down would cause more damage for no reason. The veil being put up hurt elven society because they had buildings that relied on both places, but they no longer have that. Nobody is being actively hurt by the veil being up, bringing it down would just destroy everything to get a world that is different but not inherently better.

But Solas regrets putting it up. Solas wishes he didn’t put it up. He wants to take it down, not because it is actively hurting anyone, but because he feels bad about it. It’s something he regrets, something he wishes he hadn’t done, and taking it down will placate his conscience. And all the consequences can be justified under “i feel sad about it but it had to be done” even though it didn’t ever have to be done. This is how he has justified every crime before.

Rook has not doomed the world by keeping the veil up. They have saved this world, instead of dooming it to cling onto scraps of a culture long long dead and placate the conscience of a man who has never been able to handle the concept of “no”.

[thecloudsaremyhome]

Red hood headcanons

Tw: mentions of self harm, heavy infantilization, heavy yandere behavior, death

・Jason never really knew the real you. The one who would have the biggest smile plastered on their face full of pure innocene. No he never got to see that. Maybe he would've if he actually made time for you if he actually priortized you. Maybe.

・but it's to late now for him he had. Chance but he never took it an he regrets that, he regrets a lot of things in all honestly. But he was supposed to be your brother, he was supposed to be the one their for you. But he wasn't and that the saddest part of it.

・he was never once their....

・it was not like he had. Connection with you in the first place you came before he was ressurected you came during his death. And he feels some sort of sympathy because well maybe he was involuntarily caused th emotional neglect you receive from bruce. But he couldve done better couldve been better.

・he couldve stopped you from intentionally hurting yourself he. Couldve at least given you some form of comfort but no at th time he wa filled with pure hater for your pur existence. And you didn't even know about it. You didn't fucking know. And that truly the real sad part.

・but the reality of the situation is that you can never turn back time. And he so badly wish he couldve. He wishes he couldve went back in time to when he first got resurrected and go towards the manor to comfort you, to give you the love you deserve.

・because in his eyes your nothing but a purpose innocent baby. So when he finally come to light about you leaving. Well to say he's worried is an understatement he's petrified. Because your to young to be living out on your own! Especially with how fragile you are!

・oh this won't do! He can't let you be walking the streets of Gotham alone an unsupervised! Well hell just have to go find you then

・so don't be terrified when he causually breaks into you apartment building, or when you back away in fear an anxiety and raise a knife to him. Oh don't do that sweetheart you'll hur yourself that's not for baby's! So he does what any brother would do an pins you down effortlessly.

・he then takes th knifenout of your hold an throw it onto the floor outnof your reach so you won't try and hur yourself. Oh baby! Don't start crying! It okay big brothers here to make it all better don't worry!

・so to successfully calm you down he grabs a syringe from his pockets and carefully plunge it into your neck which. Of course causes you to squirm in fear. But it doesn't last for long before you finally pass out from the sedative.

・he Coos at your adorable sleeping fac and pick you up, and starts to carry you out th window toward his motorcycle all th while quietly humming a soft lullaby.

Don't worry baby he will take care of you you'll be safe

Authors note: totally did not binge watch some Jason lore lol but I hoped you enjoyed! This is just a scenario a well it not formally canon to the series this is just how I perceive Jason! I want you guy to know how I will write his character in general!

[are-they-therian]

Is your little meow meow a therian? Do you want others to share your vision?

Welcome to @/are-they-therian!!!! This blog's dedicated to help get your opinion (as well as others) about your personal therian headcanons out there in Poll Forme!

This blog's run by a very tired transmasc cat that's stuck going through highschool. My pronouns are he/green/they & this is my second time trying (and hopefully, first time succeeding) to run a poll blog.

Submission rules:

Submissions are currently open.

Only submit characters through the form

Don't submit real people

ONLY submit HEADCANONS (but if you know any canonical therian characters, do tell! Just, not in the form.)

No Harry Potter, Vivziepop media, or South Park. More might be added later.

Exclusion and hatefuness will not be tolerated (including homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, aphobia, etc etc)

If I accidentally post something that's like, deplorable, PLEASE let me know!

I might add a spreadsheet later like other hc blogs like this tend to do, it seems convenient.

FAQ (info section?):

Therianthropy is (in my clumsy wording of it) the belief or feeling that an individual is, to some degree, a non-human animal. This blog accepts headcanons relating to anything that could fall under the therian umbrella, which includes phytanthropes and the like. (If any more experienced therians than i have a better explanation please send it in lol)

Orthohuman means someone that's fully human; someone that isn't a therian

If a character submitted physically isn't a human, just assume that when we say "alterhuman" and "orthohuman" that we mean their biological species. like fluttershy. shes in there. itd just get really clunky to say "orthopony"

This isn't my first rodeo on tumblr, but it is my first rodeo actually interacting with the therian community. If I get anything wrong PLEASE tell me!!!! Please & thank you <333!!

Similar blogs (my inspirations):

@aretheyqueer

@are-they-a-faggot

@is-the-character-aroacespec

@couldtransitionsaveher

@is-your-blorbo-neurodivergent

@aretheybisexual

Updates:

Submissions are currently open ^_^

[vm-haunts]

Idk it's a weird headcanon, but...

The Fentons being simultaneously very rich but also broke as fuck.

The thing is, that lab of theirs is gonna cost a serious fortune, hence the actually very rich part. But at the same time, all that money is tied down as extremely specialized equipment and means jack shit in regards of say, paying for grocery, so it's pretty often that they struggle with cash.

Actually, this might even be somewhat canon, since they literally become millionaires when they sold the lab to GIW. It's not exactly a rags to riches moment even though it's portraited as one, because they already own that money, just not in a usable way.

[yeenkingart]

Thank you!!! aAAAAA

I bragged to the other openers about how you drew a comic on mine!!! I want to scream and then grip you and shake you this makes me so happy

Essentially (my headcanon this means nothing) that stan did the bare minimum homework to mimic ford. Just knew what he looked like and generally his background of came from jersey and has a family. The name stan was just something he threw out there but imagine a mimic shows up, looks like you, has your name, and calls itself your brother? Id lose my mind

Stan also cant keep his story straight and changed it during the conversation in my comic, as well as changing his appearance. He was like oh shoot they got 6 fingers? Oops let me fix that before he notices. And hes scrambling for something to tie himself with ford and i was stuck between ford having no photos of his family and just one of him cause hes a fucking dork. It says special boy only child because he was an only child at the time of the photo as well as in the photo. I mean, if you have a twin theyd be in the photo too, right? (Rip canon stan lmao)

I hate him hes so stupid and silly. Hes like ohmygodpleasejustonethingrightplease, but also im not sure he has enough self awareness for that. More like, ohgoshthisisntgoingrightnextplan

V excited to keep drawing after work! :))

Thank you for letting me go off about this! I hate them (affectionate)

before I go to bed mimic!Stan au has been revolving in my brain at work. Did some drawings of my interpretation of Stan and fords first meeting. I hope I'm not stepping on @a-scary-lack-of-common-sense toes! I just really like monsters. He's not my typical go to shape but that makes it more fun!

My hand is cramping and I gotta wrap but but I plan on continuing I'f theyre okay w it. I'm not good at comics, I have like zero experience outside of just putting coherent pictures next to each other and hoping someone figures out whats happening

Watch me draw them differently every time :)

[the-meme-monarch]

Okay so, in one of your comics about Dandy's world, one of the people in said in the comic something about Delilah and souls? How are the toons made and why was that said?

(btw I love how your art style it's just ahahahhdhsbdhssn ya know?)

the post this is in reference to

HEHE those were my ocs from my original oc-verse talking abt her :] mimi and matthew. but yeah my headcanons abt how toons are brought to life Preceeds dandys world so i like applying it To it ! so the following is headcanon and prior Original oc world building being backwards applied and is Not Canon To Dandy’s World👍

i like to keep the actual process of making toons unknown, but they require the power of your soul ! (yknow how they say that all your ocs have a piece of yourself in them :] but for real now). it’s taking an intangible thing, literally the concept of a person, and your connection to them and making them real. it’s drawing from your thoughts and ideas of who they should be and Making them physical and bc they have to be a person it also draws from like, your other base knowledge. they gotta know how to walk and talk and Do things and Know things ! so making a toon is kinda really taxing on your soul. it makes you tired and physically weak for a bit. but this is completely reversible ! literally just Dont make another one for a a few months. the lethargy/weakness only lasts a day or two, but your soul won’t actually repair itself for a While.

so that’s why mimi talks about ‘i made like 8 in four years, and she made upwards of 30 in like 2 years’ and how it’s a wonder delilah isn’t Dead. the ‘maybe she just more soul to go around’ comment is bc making toons whittles away at your soul, so if she’s made so many in such a short timeframe she’s either got a lot of soul or she’s figured something out to be Not Dead. delilah didn’t give herself the time to recover. currently I’m thinking bc she was using ichor instead of ink, and the ichor, being the word for ‘the blood of the gods’, just sort of made her think she was fine to continue at the rate she was. unbeknownst it Is still taking a toll on her. even people who suffered Regular toon fatigue didn’t deal with Ink replacing their blood and staining their skin !

[dalishious]

racism tw. i hope this okay to send to your askbox and totally understand if you choose to ignore it. i just had an Incident today with the fandom that i kind of want to talk about but i don't really participate in the fandom anymore so i don't really have the platform for it, and i saw you confronting racism in the fandom so it seemed like a good time to send this to you if that makes sense?

racism in the dragon age fandom is unreal. today i had somebody claim sebastian is racist (where? when?) and then go on to say how great ANDERS is on my silly little joke post that got unexpectedly popular.

i know it's popular fanon to ignore that anders approves of selling fenris to danarius and i respect it (especially when it comes to fans of colour choosing to headcanon it away) but making up reasons to hate a brown man while completely ignoring how your precious white boy fave will canonically approve of slavery is not a good look.

also, thinking about how the fandom hates sebastian but loves leliana makes my blood boil. how are they so different, outside of one of them being a poc and the other white, that you can hate one and not the other? honestly i feel more for sebastian, who was forced into the chantry and clearly has some religious trauma, than leliana who chose to join it and can become the pope. yes, she does great things as the pope, but she never joined the chantry with the intent to change it. had the blight never happened she would have been content to stay a lay sister in lothering.

and then even sebastian fans are super racist against him! im tired of art depicting him as white. blue eyes =/= white. scottish accent =/= white which is genuinely the dumbest aregument ever. do people think scottish people of colour just speak with an american or british accent??

i have even more to say but i'm going to stop here because this is much longer than i ever intended and im just kind of tired of thinking about this. thank you for taking the time to read and everything you do for the fandom <3

wait i just sent you an ask referring to leliana as the pope. that was meant to be a placeholder i forgot what the divine was called so i was going to google it and edit it before hitting send fml

You are 100% correct. On one hand, you've got people bending over backwards to make up excuses to why they're exempt from racism in their hate of Sebastian that makes no actual sense, because really they just put unreasonable expectations on a brown character's existence that they don't extend to white characters. And on the other hand, you've got people who only like their whitewashed idea of him.

And for some reason people think it's totally reasonable to reblog or rpely to posts from fans of Sebastian with hate? Like there are very few characters in DA I can think of who fandom at large have normalized hating as much as him. Vivienne is really the only other one that comes immediately to mind. Even Anders has just as many if not more defenders as he does people who hate-post about him.

(And to be clear I myself love Anders. But this post is not about Anders. This post is about Sebastian and fandom racism.)

[mcytgaynessshowdown]

[dear people of the internet; i promise we are not pitting the favourite couples together the wheel of names just hates gay people sorry guys. flower husbands, treebark, etho/cleo- all that was just a wheel we're/im sorry - 🐾]

REMEMBER THIS IS BASED ON CHARACTERS NOT CREATORS! We are not calling straight creators gay!

Rendog

Number of submissions: 3 From: Hermitcraft , Life Series Headcanons: Gay, Bisexual , Pansexual Reasons:

There is absolutely no straight explanation for what happened in Wild Life ep. 8. Also he canonically married docm77 in hermitcraft

you cannot look at what that man said during third life and real life and say he is straight. also he’s a theatre kid. cmon.

have you HEARD the way this man talks. He is a walking innuendo. Lesbians love him. Dogwarts. This man literally asked Doc to "have his puppies" with him.

MartynInTheLittleWood

Number of submissions: 4 From: Pirates SMP, Rats SMP, Evo SMP, Life Series, Headcanons: Gay, Pansexual, "Just Likes People" Reasons:

Queer irl, character: have you ever seen him interact with literally anybody.

Have you seen the guy? He's one of the gayest straight guys I've ever seen. His character is loyal to people in a really gay way. Even if he ends up betraying them, he does that in a gay way too. Martyn with Mumbo, Scott, Ren . . . especially Ren. You only have to watch them interacting for MAYBE five minutes to understand how soul crushingly gay their characters are for each other.

yeah the gay ahh friendships he’s had going on with ren for literally any smp (minus fantasy) they’re put on together

Uhhh He's gynesexual irl (I think?), and also c!Martyn has probably kissed SEVERAL men. See for instance, MumboJumbo. They were literally Husbands in Last Life. In LIMITED LIFE him and Scott were VERY fruity with eachother and in 3RD LIFE him and Ren were gayer than Gay sex itself (Doomed Yaoi at it's finest.) Like, you don't just chop off your King bsf's head to test your trust, love and unyeailding devotion to him and NOT admit that it's kind of gay. In the Pirates SMP he said his character was Pansexual and also was apart of the Kestrel faction filled with dumb, burly men who kissed eachother, and in the Rats SMP, specifically Rats: In Paris, there was this one scene where him and Scott were kind of 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 in the Captain's chair. Also in that SMP him and Ren have only one bed… suspiciously gay, is it not? This lad has SEVERAL gay quotes. like "Why aren't we smoochin'?" directed to Ren in Wild Life, and… yes I can't think of anymore gay quotes from him right now BUT STILL he has MANY MORE GAY QUOTES!!! Thank you for coming to my Martyn bias filled TED Talk.

[thistlecatfics]

In response to my post about Andromeda and Ted, @teddytonks asked about Andromeda hating Remus, and I do have thoughts!

[for ease, I'm writing this as if they’re all cis and use the same pronouns as they do in canon, but I do love my trans headcanons for this family]

One relevant question: does Andromeda find out Remus tried to leave Tonks? Very reasonable that she would never find out either because Tonks has the sense not to tell her or because Remus’s attempted running away was so short that Tonks herself is able to pretend like it never happened. BUT if she finds out???

Ted Tonks risked his life when he married Andromeda. He risked his life when she got pregnant. He was put in serious, active danger through those things (at least in their minds – I do love the hc that Bellatrix did protect them but I don’t think they would believe that). And he loved her enough that he was willing to risk so much for her! And to be her partner! And to parent Tonks! The courage it took. 

To find out that her child was pregnant and then the father literally ran away because he was scared??? Like truly. The rage. Her daughter deserves so much better. 

I absolutely think that Andromeda retained some of her prejudice from her upbringing – I just think it’s impossible to get rid of all of it. (Things like calling Tonks ‘Nymphadora’ when Tonks clearly has a preference for Tonks indicates a level of not necessarily respecting a child’s autonomy, among other things.) She absolutely would be prejudiced against a werewolf. 

A werewolf who is a decade older than her child? Poor is fine. Ted was poor. But a werewolf?? Not even a human??

I think you can argue that Remus’s self-loathing makes him not quite a reliable narrator about his own experience (he hates himself for being a werewolf and so he reads into everyone’s behavior that they feel the same), but I mostly trust him here:

“You don’t know how most of the Wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don’t you see what I’ve done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf?”

The tragedy is that they co-create this reality. 

Andromeda thinks less of him for being a werewolf. Remus thinks less of himself for being a werewolf (to say the least). Because of that, he behaves in ways that are attempts at self-protection (running away, trying to escape the possibility of, essentially at least in his mind, turning a child) BUT end up reaffirming the belief that werewolves aren’t trustworthy. That a werewolf could never be a good partner and good parent – because what if he runs away again? 

(which is one of my favorite interesting and awful things about how humans try to self-protect! In trying to avoid scary feelings, we tend to create more circumstances for those feelings! Eg drinking to avoid feeling shame -> feeling more shame about drinking. Avoiding responding to friends because in your loneliness you feel like they don’t like you -> fewer outreaches from friends, more loneliness etc.) 

(I also am now thinking about the sheer trauma of being turned as a child and how much that's being triggered by the possibility of passing down lycanthropy to a child! but that'll be a separate post of being bitten as a CSA metaphor.)

By contrast, Ted is, I think, much more tolerant of Remus (not having grown up with anti-werewolf prejudice) and also much more trusting of Tonks’s decision making for herself. I don’t think Ted is disgusted by Remus – but I do think Andromeda is. (To be fair to Remus, having someone who looks like Bellatrix as your mother-in-law feels like a particularly terrifying experience. Like even if he weren’t a werewolf, I could imagine feeling the intensity of ‘you’re not good enough for my daughter’ radiating off of her lol.)

Anyway. That’s why I think Andromeda is co-president of the “I hate Remus Lupin” club along with Snape lol.

Side note: If you're looking for some amazing Andromeda & Remus interactions, nothing beats @leftsidedown's The Grace Unasked For (18k, T, canon divergent).

[maxdibert]

Honestly, I thought you were exaggerating about how the maradeurs fandom is, but I just saw a post that proved me wrong. They really do make up the craziest scenarios.

So I saw this Jegulus post that stated that Regulus' mother used crucio and imperio on him every school break until he joined the death eaters. And I don't wanna be mean, because I'm all for people creating headcanons. But my issue is: Why do they have to invent the most dramatic, over-the-top torturous scenarios to explain why he joined the cult?

He was a teenager, raised in that world—he likely agreed with those beliefs because it was normalized in his family. And you know what? That's okay! It makes sense that he would join. But you don't need to invent tortured backstories to convince yourself that he was never really 'bad' in the first place. It's okay to admit he made a poor choice, because that's how growth works. What kind of development is there if he was perfect from the start?

And even if the mother was abusive, that doesn't mean she was some kind of evil caricature who would torture her child. Abuse can take many forms, and we have no proof it was that bad.

Besides, that statement is absolutely inaccurate. Sirius talks about Regulus, and although he does so briefly, he tells us everything we need to know: that Regulus was the favorite, that he always did what his parents told him, and that Walburga constantly reminded him, the older and rebellious one, that his brother was a much better son.

How is it possible to conclude from that that Walburga abused her son when Sirius explicitly says the opposite—that Regulus was the one his mother held up as an example of good behavior? Why do they feel the need to twist and make up facts when it’s so much more interesting that a boy who was completely aligned with his family’s ideology fanatically threw himself into a war he didn’t understand, only to back out when he realized he was in over his head?

Can they not just like a morally questionable character? We’re talking about a kid who literally had posters of Voldemort in his room like the Death Eaters were the One Direction of his time, for the love of God—stop mutilating the damn canon, it’s nauseating.

[bl1ssfulelleon]

Bro I hate it when they connect two characters Js bc they have same last names.. like..

“OMG KANG SAEBYEOK? AND KANG NOEUL? SISTERS CAUSE THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAMES!!”

okay so does that mean cho sangwoo and cho hyunju are related now? NO!!!

“WAIT WHAT IF KANG DAEHO’S SISTERS ARE KANG NOEUL AND KANG SAEBYEOK!” And their only evidence is the similar surnames.. no.. kang is just a common last name..

It’s okay if you headcanon that they are related but don’t say it’s “canon” just because of their surnames,, 😪

[shmisky]

whats your headcanon sexualities for the stan twins

Ah, a pretty fun one!

I’m aware that you probably just wanted me to answer with my opinions and not, say, an analysis about it, but then again you sent it to me, and I couldn’t resist yapping about it! So, yes, I shoved some canon tidbits in here too...

I think Stan’s bi, bisexual and biromantic. I don’t think it’s hard for him to actually fall in love because of the completely smitten way he talks about Marilyn, his ex-wife, in his commentary of Land Before Swine.

Uh, sometimes comedy comes from a place of pain and I, y’know, was actually married for less than a day. [...] Reach for the same slot machine handle and it was love at first sight. Marilyn. [...] Man, I was putty in her hands. [...] And I guess her name was fake and her hair was fake, but y’know, the love was real. She really was the one that got away. [...] Sometimes I still think of her. [...] I had love in my life once and uh, y’know, it bit me. And I learnt a bit of a lesson from that which is ya open your heart and blood comes out and ya die. So, y’know, try not to be a sap like I was.

And regarding his attraction to men, well! Even if I weren’t a stancest shipper, we would have this:

And, amusingly, even this (referencing Stan’s marriage to Goldie in Soos and the Real Girl), despite me not taking it seriously:

I’ve seen a gen artist headcanoning him as lithromantic—that is, feeling romantic feelings for someone but not desiring reciprocation, to the point of maybe losing interest if the person reciprocates. That... checks out! A lot! Especially if you consider Stan’s experience with Lady Susan. But since I headcanon him as having reciprocated romantic feelings for Ford as a stancest shipper, I save lithro!Stan for when I’m in a gen mood.

Now, Ford... Why is everything more complicated with Ford? 😭

I headcanon him as demisexual and demiromantic, in both cases bi.

Why demi? Well, first of all, we see that Ford really isn’t in his element when it comes to romance/attraction:

If you didn’t watch J. K. Simmons as Ford reacting to TikTok thirst comments, please do. The entire (hilarious) video is just... the fandom’s horniness over Ford going straight over his head. He somehow manages to interpret all the comments wrongly, until he finally understands their sexual meaning and then promptly gets both horrified and enraged.

This is how Alex sees Ford’s sexuality, from this interview:

Stan shows that he has romantic interests, Mabel shows that she has romantic interests, Dipper shows that he has romantic interests, Ford shows none of that. He has sublimated himself romantically so, so deeply.

I think, for people on all sides of the gender and sexuality equation, the idea of, “I can’t—I’m not sure what this part of myself is, so I’m going to fixate on something I can understand. I am going to become the guiness world record holder on making lego re-creations, of this, and I’m gonna get better at it than anything, and if—as long as I’m doing this, um, then I don’t have to focus on that.”

People speculate about Nikola Tesla’s sexuality, it’s like, there’s a lot of people - some people say—‘cause Tesla was hot, and he was lyrical and poetic and mysterious, and women—they say—were very drawn to Tesla. And Tesla doesn’t talk about women. In Tesla’s autobiography, he talks about how, like, women’s earrings freak him out, and he hears clanging train whistles in his head when he sees an exposed ankle. He was so off in his own plane!

I really thought of Ford kind of like Tesla in that realm. He is distant. So it doesn’t at all surprise me that people found their own experience reflected through Ford in that way.

But it was, you know, when we were doing Gravity Falls, like, gay marriage had only like, just been legalized!

I think all of this heavily hints to Ford being in the ace/aro spectrum.

Now, why bi?

We see subtle hints of Ford being perhaps attracted to men even before the whole drama with Bill, such as his little comment about the Invisible Wizard’s good looks:

But we also see hints of his attraction to women! I was convinced, before, that Ford could only be gay (and demi) and that any and all hints of his attraction to women were comphet. The only “proof” of sorts that I had is:

That “the ladies” became “lies” in the blacklight version, hahah.

But is this enough to stand against the evidence we have of him showing even a certain eagerness to be liked by women?

From the same commentary on Land Before Swine:

[Dipper] gets [his creepiness] from Ford, I think. That and his inability to make eye contact with women. [...] Fordsy had a fear of girls ever since Cathy Crenshaw got freaked out by his hand in third grade. [...] He tried to hold a girl’s hand. She spilled punch on his head and ever since then he had a hard time talking to girls, unlike—unlike myself. That’s life. Anyway, cut to high school, the guy’s never kissed a girl, prom is coming up and he asked me for advice. “Stanley, I know things have been a little weird between you and me with college but can you talk to me about girls?” 

That indicates a lack of ability with girls, but not lack of eagerness. And, indeed, Bill mocks him for it in Journal 3, confirming Stan’s tale:

“Little Cathy, what a dream.” The fact Ford possibly considered her to be dreamy hints of Ford having been actually interested in her.

Bill again mocks him (together with Dipper) in TBoB:

And alright, this does sound like very generic cheap mockery, like, “hahah, virgin loser!” But why would Bill go so far as to repeat the joke if he didn’t think Ford wouldn’t at least be a little bit annoyed by it? If he knew Ford was 100% interested in men/male beings, his joke about Ford’s lack of sway with women would have been pathetic. And yes, I know Bill is desperate and pathetic and TBoB, but he usually knows where to hit Ford, as exemplified by him mocking Ford’s hands in front of his Henchmaniacs.

Then of course you have the Soothsquitos’ advices for Ford, including giving the Oracle (Jheselbraum) his phone number:

Even adult researcher Ford is excited about finally getting women to talk to him (and this is also in the blacklight version of Journal 3, which shows that he couldn’t have been dismissing his interest in women as just “lies” when he finally got the chance to write in blacklight):

Dipper is impressed, in the comics, with the fact his Grunkle Ford had once dated a siren:

And a lot of people assume that to have been Bill, since the page we can see is talking about Bill, but... that doesn’t make much sense. Why Dipper would be so happy and excited and not horrified? After all, he hates and fears Bill. Why wouldn’t Dipper go straight to the point and call the “siren” by his name, Bill? Why would Dipper describe Bill by “siren” and not “demon”? What kind of euphemism is this? I think it’s way more likely that Dipper had read about the siren in a previous page and just happened to comment about it when he reached the Bill page.

The siren in question is probably this girlie from the storyboard of AToTS drawn and shared by S. H. Cotguno on TikTok.

And, of course, we can’t forget one of the deleted scenes from the end credit montage:

This one is particularly hilarious to me because when I first watched it, I thought it was supposed to be about the Stan twins were competing for the same lady. But then I realized that Stan had arrived first, smirking and holding his own flower, and sat down. Only then Ford appears and sits down too, mirroring Stan’s smirk, despite the fact he had already seen Stan there. And Stan doesn’t seem phased by Ford’s arrival, he continues smirking. Only when the lady gets up and leaves them that they turn angrily to each other 😭 They were fully ready to share her...

So yeah, I do believe Ford was/is interested in women in the same way he is in men, but he can’t deal with that very well for lots of reasons. I think he tries, but ultimately doesn’t experience romance in the way Stan does and that confuses and frustrates him. The only “people” he’s been truly in love with, imo, were Bill and Stan, and it would still be that way if Bill and Stan were female. So yeah, Ford to me is a bi ice cream with demi sauce on top.

I don’t think that’s how the Stans would define themselves, though. They likely don’t even know most of LGBTQ+ labels, much less the fact that you can be both demi and bi and stuff like that, and I prefer to stick to a more realistic approach.

Stanley, jokes about marrying Goldie aside, would probably still think he’s straight. His twin is... his twin is something special, okay? Ford doesn’t count. Ford is Ford.

Ford, on the other hand, would be so out of his depth that he wouldn’t even know how to answer the question. I don’t know if he would even be able to identify his attraction to Bill as romantic, and being in love with Stan just feels natural to him.