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jeon jungkook fic rec list (Ⅺ)
hi everyone i am back and boy has there been some amazing fics posted while i was away it's awaken that spark in me again and this list is honestly packed, i went over like 60 fics for this one and i even added some of my ult. faves. the ones i have to mention again because they are just so amazing, trust me you will be going back for more over and over again too. you might notice some fics from ao3 and wattpad included as well they are hold a special place in my heart, they are masterpieces that need to be shared with you guys so please enjoy this new list and give all the authors mentioned all the love and respect they deserve seriously they work so hard on creating these beautiful fics and they deserve all the attention and gratitude we can offer them so please share your love through a like, comment and reblog them so they can feel the love and more people can find their masterlists and accounts because they have some really good fics there as well. I just wanna send an honourable mention to every single writer i have added to this list without you i would not have so much happiness when i come on this app and you have filled my heart and countless others with so much joy and happiness we appreciate you more than you will ever know and you make being here 10 times better your stories help us through alot and puts smiles on our faces and we get to spend time with a community of people who love what we love and we get to interact because of your ideas and it creates such an amazing experience so thank you for everything that you do the worlds you create and the ideas you come up and for sharing it all with us i adore you so much and you are just the best so once again thank you for everything and i look forward to what so many of you have planned - kiki ♡
NO MINORS ALLOWED PLEASE DON'T INTERACT!
happy reading everyone i hope you enjoy this extra long list of my faves and please remember to be happy and keep on smiling and interact if you want i love hearing from you guys and if you want you can send me a few of your faves 🥹🖤✨
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f - fluff s-smut a - angst
series
lines of fate by @kookiestarlight s a exes au zombie apocalypses tattooist jk
⋆ the last thing Jungkook ever imagined was an outbreak that turned the dead into the living. But even more unexpected is seeing you—an ex he’s known nothing about in the past four years—with a small child who bears a striking resemblance to himself. As Jungkook grapples with the shock and the city spirals into chaos, the two of you are thrust back together, forced to confront unresolved feelings, long-buried truths, and the horrors of the deadly virus taking over.
lost stars by @hueseok f a roommates e2l slow burn college au (33.2k)
⋆ the last person you’d expect to be there for you is your roommate, jeongguk, on the night you break up with your cheating boyfriend; because as far as you’re concerned, the both of you aren’t exactly friends, and he definitely shouldn’t be running to get you upon hearing you sob via phone call.so when he does, you begin thinking that maybe you’ve just been hard on him over the years, or perhaps he just liked pretending to be an annoying shit most of the time. either way, it becomes the beginning of an unexpected friendship finally blossoming.
a lovers kiss by @/hueseok f s a fwb i2l college au (55.6k)
⋆ a friends with benefits relationship never ends on a good note. unless, both parties are not dumb fucks who find themselves falling for each other along the way of their agreement, of course. and in yours and jeongguk’s case, you should have known better than to think the two of you would be an exception to the so-called curse of being friends with benefits with someone you already hold dear to you, since not even five months since it was agreed upon—the line between being only friends and being a little like lovers only continue to get hazier and hazier.
hell is empty by @aquagustd f s a ft.kth love triangle dadJK exJK CEO kth (164.4k)
⋆ life has a tendency to throw things your way when you least expect it, when you’re content, and the ominous presence knows exactly how to steer your existence back into the darkness.
to the stars by arckook (ao3) a zombie apocalypse (94.6k)
⋆ It was always you, and Jimin, and your best friend Jihyun. But fate, regardless of whether you believed in it or not, had other plans for you. Jimin told you once, "It's a tough road to the stars." Nowadays it was hard to believe the stars were somewhere you could reach.
moirai by norabean (ao3) f s a soulmates slow burn (95.2k)
⋆ On your 18th birthday a name appears on your wrist. The name of your soulmate. It’s a momentous day that everyone looks forward to, but you’ve always brushed aside; refusing to believe in a fickle mistress called destiny. But what happens when on the morning of your 18th birthday you wake to find the name of your mortal enemy? Jeon Jungkook.
from home by @yuzukult f s a e2l richkid jk fakedating au (89.5k)
⋆ a rich kid who gets cut off from family money meets an average post-grad girl who may be the key to getting him back on his parents’ good side.
and they were roommates by @hoseok666 f s a ft. kth e2l love triangle tsundere jk s2l (103.k+)
⋆ it all started with a rejection from your longtime crush, jeon jungkook. you decided to confess to him on your last day of high school. after a harsh rejection and a rough summer dealing with the heartbreak, you were starting anew once your freshman year of college came. you were going to be sharing an apartment with two other roommates that you don’t even know. what a surprise you’re going to be in for once you find out it’s the one and only: jeon jungkook and kim taehyung.
future hearts by @jungblue f s a ft. pjm punk jikook s2l band au f2l lost love (114.6k)
⋆ It was everything, from his tattoos, to his touches, to the way sweat rolled down his neck as he strummed into his guitar on stage; everything about him completely enthralled you. So why are you now, two and a half years later, on a train to Seoul, telling a complete stranger the recollection of how you became fated to forever have scars on all of your future hearts due to the happiness, but most of all the pain, that came along with falling in love with Jeon Jungkook.
mind games by @yerion f a tsundere jk roommates au (31.8k)
⋆ jungkook drives you to think strict criticism isn’t too bad, purely because you didn’t expect things to turn a bit steamier than intended. as the one and only female esports player, misery was at your fingertip when your skills suddenly deteriorated. however, the stoic leader of your team—jungkook, simply couldn’t sit back. he puts you back on track, yet no one told you sparks would fly; and the crazy fact that it’s inevitable
heartbeat by @xbaepsae s a ft myg unrequited love (24.9k)
⋆ “You fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you weren’t sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought should’ve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.“
one year, my love by @hayjeon f s a historical/royal au 100 days my prince kdrama (31k)
⋆ You forge a marriage contract with the strangely speaking man who suddenly stumbled into your town with memory loss, but little do you know that he’s actually the lost Crown Prince, and a lot can happen between a married man and woman in one year.
the love prognosis by @awrkive f s a medical au roommates f2l (90.7k)
⋆ for as long as you can remember, you've always been a hopeless romantic. the girl who’s always dreamt of cheesy encounters with her soulmate, grand love declarations, and a cute little beach wedding to boot. but reality pretty much slaps you hard right on the face, because love, unfortunately, doesn’t come grand — it’s simple and it’s quiet, but it is quite painful, especially when the love that you’ve been seeking for all your adult life has just been right under your nose all this time.
ever a never after by @yoonia s ft. ksj enchanted au (51.8+k)
⋆ Some say fate can be a cruel thing. Yet you never knew how true it was until fate played a hand in your bad luck. Merely moments before your happily ever after, you are suddenly sent out to a weird place. A different world. You wonder if this is a test from fate to see if you are truly deserving of your happy ending, or if perhaps fate wants to show you something else. Something that fate wishes you to learn before you can finally move on to take the next step towards your happiness.
between takes by @jeonstudios f s a fluffer au porn star au (74.6k)
⋆ as a fluffer for a popular porn star, your focus is to keep him hard and performing on set. turns out he's not the only thing that's hard
Shatter With Me by @colormepurplex2 f s a surrogate au best friends husband (46.4k)
⋆ Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure.
Chasing Cars by @oddinary4bts f s a college au brother best friend forbidden love (218.5k)
⋆ when your brother goes to study on a semester abroad, your life collides with his best friend Jeon Jungkook, who's coincidentally your roommate. Will you survive the collision, or will you crumble into dust?
hold me close by @ahundredtimesover f s a brother best friend (41.8k)
⋆ When you're asked to look after your parents' house and meet them before they go on vacation, you, Jimin, and Jungkook take the trip to your hometown of Busan and relive memories of your youth. While your new relationship has you feeling like a lovesick teenager with all the affection that Jungkook shows you, you're still you - a professional trying to make it in the corporate world, and an eldest child trying not to disappoint her parents. And that turns out to be your undoing, as a little blunder causes a rift between you and Jungkook, resulting in a trip that you might as well have messed up… Not if your brother can help it, though
sugar high by @yeojaa f a idol au childhood best friends unrequited love (33.3k)
⋆ You thought you’d known real love and maybe you had - it just wasn’t with who you thought.
the law of attraction by @jexnkookie f s a lawyer jk girl of his dreams (26.9k)
⋆ Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.
love bug by @here4kpopfics f s a established relationship (30.4k)
⋆ A collection of stories and drabbles with my comfort couple Jungkook and Love Bug as I affectionally call her. They were my first couple to write in over a decade and I hold them very close to my heart.
sh by @wwilloww f s a ot7 f2l (118k)
⋆ Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
bloodlines entwined by @spideyjimin f s a s2l soulmates werewolf au royalty au (30.8+)
⋆ having a baby alone was supposed to be easy. but an accidental twist of fate pulled you into a hidden world of werewolves, and ancient bloodlines. navigating your already complicated life becomes even harder as you uncover your past; one tied to a legacy you never knew existed. and in the middle of this chaos stands jungkook, the werewolf king… and the father of your child.
jump then fall (into you) by @writtenwhalien f s a bf2l fake dating (52k)
⋆ bringing Jungkook along as your date to your ex’s lavish cruise wedding seemed like a perfect idea at first — all of your family and close friends together, nothing can go wrong… then Jungkook’s ex shows up and all of a sudden you’re in a years long relationship with him. You don’t mind though, really, how hard can sharing a cabin and pretending to be deeply in love with your best friend really be?
not in that way by @girlygguk f s a ft. myg unrequited love bf2l (30k)
⋆ in which you're hopelessly in love with your best friend, min yoongi. meanwhile, your other best friend, jeon jungkook, is hopelessly in love with you.
live through this by @starshapedkookie f s a band au exes to frenemies to lovers (46.5k)
⋆ A record deal. The one thing Violet needed to become the next big rockstars. As the front-woman to the band, life couldn’t have been any easier for you. That is until a devastating life event changes everything for you, leaving you heartbroken and in a downward spiral you can’t get out of. With your biggest competitor, Whailen 52 on your heels, your bandmates worried about the future, and your ex Jeon Jungkook being your only solace; you weren’t sure if you were going to live through this to see your dreams come to fruition.
a story that we paint by @thedefinitionofbts f a ft.kth college au scifi au (25k)
⋆ in which the lines between virtual and reality are blurred.
crimson park by heartbeatan f s a e2l crime au(159.6k)
angel in the darkness by @icyhobi s a mafia au prostitution au
⋆ after a patient urgently pleads you to go and help a friend of his, you naively agree to it. little did you know, that you would get more than what you agreed to, when he leads you to a brothel, to help a dangerous prostitute named jeon jungkook.
one night stand by @buryhny f s a ceo au e2l (382k)
⋆ as if the unexpected twist of a one-night stand turning out to be your CEO boss wasn't surreal enough, the situation takes a more challenging turn when both of you discover that you're expecting his child.
the alpha omega series by @borathae f s a childhood best friends to enemies to lovers werewolf au (40.8k)
⋆ Jungkook is the son of the pack Alpha and therefore heir of the titel. You are an omega and utterly out of his league. This is the story of how, against all odds, you and he became true mates.
4-7-8 by @jiminrings a marriage au (73k+)
⋆ you’re secure when it comes to loving jungkook, knowing that your husband loves you beyond words. what you aren’t so secure about is his first love — someone who isn’t you. alternatively, jungkook’s married to you, but he still celebrates his anniversary with his ex out of sentimentality.
netflix & chill by @1kook f s blindate collge au (113.7+)
⋆ If you planned things right, you could rain down your raging displeasure on Jeon Jungkook right after the meal but before this proposed ‘Netflix and chilling,’ maybe dramatically throw your glass of wine at him, before storming out of his place and reporting him to the authorities (Namjoon) for his douchebag personality.
the bad blind date by ravsisrekt f s a idol au f2l (wattpad)
⋆ Being set up on a date is hard as it is. But being set up on a date where the boy you're with loves your best friend is even harder-and trust me, being bubbly, cute, and incredibly hilarious doesn't work on him either…but on the other members it certainly does.
sns by narcotichobi f s a idol au s2l (wattpad)
⋆ Jae is a twenty-one year old Korean-American university student whose life is just ordinary. Struggling through the confines of cultural differences between her lifestyle and ethnicity, Jae finds herself through social media outlets and the integration of k-pop into her American life. Jungkook is a twenty year old singer, dancer and producer of the Korean-Pop idol group, BTS (방탄소년단). He works over twelve hours a day and has almost every second of his life circulating around social media. Jungkook, with newly found dating privileges, is slow to trust another person with his personal life and thoughts. Follow Jae and Jungkook through a love-story heavily motivated by social media and press
40 weeks by magicalmochii f s a teeange pregnancy f2l (wattpad)
⋆ They didn't want to be virgins when they graduated. Two friends agree to let go of their innocence together, no strings attached. Life had other plans.
unconditionally by magicalmochii f s a parents au (wattpad) sequel to 40 weeks
⋆ They survived high school and overcame the obstacles that tried to break them apart. Together they adapt to college life and work, all while caring for their new baby. Now, two friends turned lovers prepare for their wedding. Life had other plans. The continuation of 40 Weeks. Bring tissues.
blood ink by pocketbangtan f s a gang au tattoo artist jk (wattpad)
⋆ "That's my tattoo, Y/N, on your body. You know exactly what that means."
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one shot
wait for your love by @/spideyjimin f s a exes2lovers parents (17.3k)
⋆ sixteen years ago, your life was turned upside down when you surrendered to the temptation — none other than jungkook, the star basketball player on your school’s team. today, after all that time, you reunite under tragic circumstances; a car crash where he saves your life.
Inkling by @gguksgalaxy s a f2l tattoo artist jk (17.7k)
⋆Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?
in this paradise by @ressjeon f s a s2l survivor au (16.3k)
⋆ in an attempt to escape what’s been planned for him, Jungkook hopped on a ship only to face a tragedy that he didn’t expect and then there’s you who somehow couldn’t believe to find company in this isolated land. was this fate or was this just a temporary chance of bliss as a challenge for you both?
sleepover by @personasintro f s best friends brother (10.4k)
⋆ Jungkook is your best friend’s little brother who invites you to have a sleepover at his place. Nothing can happen, right?
bottle up old love by @wintaerbaer f s a exes to lovers (4.6k)
⋆ Jungkook may have broken up with you a year ago, but that's not going to stop him from coming to your rescue when he sees you being cornered by a creep.
the devil’s change up by @/jungblue f s a coach au (41.3k)
⋆ Majoring in athletic training means you have mandatory observation hours to perform with every single sports team at your school throughout the year, and so far it’s been going pretty great. However, when regrets from your past cause your rotation with the baseball team to become a little rocky, there’s one star pitcher who says that he can make it all better.
entertainer by @taegularities f s a s2l (32.4k)
⋆ Growing singer Jeon Jungkook is as charismatic as he is self-absored – that is, until he meets you. Caught in a web of secrets, he finds a riddle in you he urges to solve; even ready to turn the spotlight towards you until nothing remains… but regret.
habits of a clandestine nature by @alphabetboyluvr s a college au rich jk e2l (16k)
explorer by @/1kook f s alien au s2f2l (17.8k)
⋆ Jungkook does not want to impress the frankly tyrannical ways of his planet on you. He just wants to stay here and keep your couch warm for you, hold your hair back when you wash your face in the morning.
million dollar darling by @kooktrash f s a e2f2l crazy rixh asians inspired (19.7k)
⋆ jeon jungkook is well aware of how privileged he is to have been born into the life he was given. it was glamorous and influential yet close-knit and suffocating, something he thought he wanted to escape from. a trip back home to the circle of wealth and snottiness for his best friend’s million dollar wedding has reminded him of all the reasons why he wanted to leave in the first place… and all the reasons he should stay — the main one being you, the spoiled rich girl he knew was utterly perfect for him.
little surfer girl by @ppersonna f s a summer love suferjk (9.8k)
⋆ every summer you watched jeon jungkook turn into a perfect, professional surfer. every summer, you wanted him more. this summer, you were determined to make him yours.
the whole of your heart by @lcksndkys f s a husband au band au (8k)
⋆ Save a drum, bang a drummer.
sketch by @moonscriptsx f s soulmate au artist jk (9.6k)
⋆ After sixteen years of dreaming about the same unknown beautiful girl, Jungkook finally gets to put a name to the face — and she's so much more than what he's dreamt of
strings attached (to my heart) by @jungkoode f s spiderkook college au (11.8k)
⋆ You were a journalist at Yonsei University when you started noticing the strange coincidences between your favorite bumbling freshman and Seoul's newest superhero. The way Spider-Man's voice cracks on 'noona' exactly like Jungkook's does. The way they both bring you the same snacks, have the same nervous energy, the same tendency to ramble when flustered. You tell yourself it's just a coincidence, because the alternative means admitting something you're absolutely not ready to deal with.
it was always you by @/hueseok f s a childhood best friends to lovers (13.2k)
⋆ for as long as you remember, you’ve always had the fattest crush on your childhood friend, jeon jungkook. it never blossomed into something more though, because that’s what happens when life naturally takes it course—you grow up, you move on, and you pretend that those feelings never existed in order to maintain the good friendship that remained between the two of you over the years.so when he visits you after work one day, asking you to marry him, you do everything you can to refuse, because the reason he’s asking you isn’t due to the fact that he finally realized that he loved you after all this time, but because he thinks he’s doing you a big favor.or at least, that’s what you think.
mio angelo by @/hueseok f s a mafia au established relationship (33.3k)
⋆ it’s no secret to the whole nation how powerful the jeon family was. the efforts of the highly respected don jungsoo was the reason why the name of their clan continues to be a name that people thought greatly of and sometimes even feared. despite your father working alongside with the don, you never truly understood what the family possessed to earn them such acclaim; that is until you got closer to one of his grandsons, jeon jeongguk, that you caught a glimpse of how much power they truly seized as you see it first hand and become a part of it yourself. inspired by the godfather and vincenzo
ultimatum by @parkmuse f s spiderkook (10.3k)
⋆ Your pervy, idiotic boyfriend just so happens to also be your friendly neighborhood Spider-man (in bed).
melomaniac by @jungkxook f s a band au f2l (13k)
⋆ you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because he’s supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know he’s in love with you too.
Navigating Tides by @jjungkookislife f s a exes2lovers (18.9k)
⋆ A cruise is the last place you expect to see your ex-boyfriend, Jeon Jungkook. You broke up six months ago, and your best friends Jimin and Yoongi assured you your ex wouldn't even remember this cruise that you booked a year in advance. However, on your first night on board, you discover your ex isn't only on the cruise ship, but there are no rooms available for him to stay in other than yours.
will it fit? by @jeonsweetpea f s idiots2lovers roommate au (6.7K)
⋆ So what if your roommate caught you masturbating? At least he forgot about it the next day. But he can’t exactly forget the big dildo you left in your shared bathroom…
pull me down by @starryeyedkoo f a badboy gang college au (22.9k)
⋆ “Do you regret it?” “What?” “Falling in love with me? It feels like I only weigh you down.” “I’ll let you pull me down to the depths of hell if that’s what it means to love you.”
espresso by @joonberriess f s a boxer jk idol oc (14.6k)
⋆ a rowdy boxer and the pretty it-girl he bagged by being him. jungkook’s doing anything to prove he’s serious, even if it means making a fool outta himself.
changes in between by @/taegularities f s a roommates s2f2l (24.7k)
⋆ Becoming the roommate of Jeon Jungkook is the biggest change you’ve ever gotten thrown into - but little do you know that the addition of another man will bring even further turbulence into your (love) life.
not my fault by @/taegularities f s college au classmates 2 lovers (12.6k)
⋆ After sparking a sinful conversation on a dating app, you vow to yourself that you won’t give in to more the notorious college fuckboy Jeon Jungkook might have to offer. That is, until he rings your doorbell just one night later – and it’s truly not your fault that he’s so damn hard to resist.
the secret beneath our stars by @subvk s a college au f2l (13.1k)
⋆ Falling in love with Jeon Jungkook was everything you’ve ever dreamed of and more, but maybe it was exactly that: a dream so blissful and comforting that it was too good to be true, something that could all disappear when the night changes to day, and your eyes open again. Or, making a marriage pact with your best friend was supposed to instill a sense of hope for you, so why does this hurt you more than it should?
mature by @/jiminrings f a pining f2l (8k)
⋆ alternatively, crushing on jungkook who's in your friend group is, has, and will never be a good idea.
movie goers by @mi55delulu f s a e2f2l (16.4k)
⋆ starting off on the wrong foot with your new neighbor was not on the top of your bucket list, yet you’ve made an enemy of jeon jungkook in less than 24 hours. unlucky for you, he’s not backing down either.
hopless hearts by @cupofteaguk f idol au s2l (17k)
⋆ you never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.
dissonance by @/yuzukult f s a rockstar jk student oc (19.4k)
⋆ something that first seems out of reach becomes a reality for him. screaming adoring fans, billboards with him and his band plastered on it, and touring across the globe with venues sold out. he has everything… but all he’s missing is you.
this is how we break by @ahundredtimesover f s a exes au (20.6k)
⋆ There are things you prepared for coming back home and that includes seeing your ex-boyfriend, but helping him design his apartment isn’t one of them. From meetings over coffee and lunches with your friends, you both learn more about the time in-between, and what you find out leave you heartbroken, wondering if there’s enough of you left to try to get back what you’d lost.
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↬looking for other jjk fics or the other members check out my library
#kiki!fic!rec#moon's recs#jungkook#jungkook:oneshot#jungkook:series#favourites!jjk#jungkook:smut#jungkook:fluff#jungkook:angst#bts fanfiction#bts fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfiction#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook#jungkook fluff#jungkook series#bts jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook scenario#jungkook wattpad#jungkook ao3#jeon jungkook angst#jeon jungkook imagine#jungkook au#jeon jungkook x reader#jjk#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jeon jungkook smut
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Hypnosis Therapy
Pairing: Blackpink Jennie x Male reader
Word count: 4774 words
Tags: hypnosis, size kink, lingerie, spanking, discipline, SPH (of her ex’s), blowjob, deepthroat, throatjob, facefuck, throatpie, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy style, pronebone, belly bulge, mind break, ahegao, deep penetration, rough sex, creampie
A/N: I've been sitting on this draft for a while now. So, when I got a hypnosis prompt, I decided that it would be perfect as my proper comeback to smut writing. Honestly, I love the premise, so I might make it a series that I post along with The Gentlemen's Playground.
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You sat in your office, a cozy and inviting space in the bustling heart of Seoul. Your unique approach to therapy has garnered a stellar reputation among the city's elite, including the world-famous music and entertainment industry. Your specialty was using hypnosis to guide your clients, helping them navigate the intense stress and pressure that came with their high-profile careers. Today, as you looked at the appointment list, your only session for the morning was with a new client, Jennie, a member of the girl group Blackpink.
Minutes later, you heard the doorbell ring, a wave of excitement washed over you and you unlocked the door. Jennie entered your office, her presence exuded both confidence and a hint of vulnerability. Her stunning beauty and charisma were undeniable, and you could easily understand why she had captivated fans worldwide.
"Hello, Jennie," you greeted her with a warm smile, your voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you."
"Hi, Dr. Y/N," Jennie replied, her voice soft and slightly hesitant. "I've been told such amazing things about your work, so I'm hoping you can help me with some personal matters that have been troubling me."
You gestured to the comfy couch across from your chair, inviting her to take a seat. "Please, make yourself comfortable. Everything discussed within these walls remains confidential. You can feel safe sharing whatever is on your mind."
Jennie nodded, her eyes briefly scanned the tastefully decorated room, and she took a seat. "Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. I know your schedule is tightly packed."
"Not at all, I've only had the best experiences with your company, so when they contacted me for an appointment, I cleared the morning for our session" you assured her, your tone soothing. "Now, why don't you start by telling me what brings you here today?"
Jennie took a deep breath as if gathering the courage to share something deeply personal. "Well, it's about my… sex life," she began, a slight flush creeping onto her cheeks. "I've never openly discussed this with anyone, even the other members, but I feel like it's affecting my overall happiness."
You maintained a calm and supportive demeanor, creating a judgement-free atmosphere. "It's perfectly okay, Jennie. Sex is a vital aspect of our lives, and it's entirely valid to seek help in this area. Please, tell me more."
"It's just…" Jennie paused, carefully choosing her words. "I've never truly been satisfied with my sex life. All my past relationships… they've all left me feeling somewhat… physically unfulfilled."
You leaned forward, your eyes filled with genuine interest and empathy. "I see. I understand that this can be a challenging topic to discuss, but I'm here to listen and help in any way I can. Please, spare no detail."
"It's not just that," Jennie continued, her voice gaining confidence as she sensed your unwavering support. "The guys I've been with… they all had smaller… you know… and it's just never felt quite right for me. I've watched those porn videos, the ones with massive cocks stretching girls out, and I can't help but wonder what that would feel like. I've also heard stories from Lisa about her and her boyfriend and can't help but feel jealous."
Your eyes widened slightly at Jennie's sincere admission, but you quickly regained your composure and professionalism. "It's completely natural to have those curiosities and desires. Sexual pleasure is very personal, and it's okay to want to explore and experience different things that you may prefer," you say, your voice steady.
Jennie bit her lip, her eyes darted down to her fidgeting hands on her lap. "I know it might sound superficial, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm missing out on potential pleasure. All the guys I've been with have been Asian, and I guess I'm just curious about… bigger sizes."
You nodded mischievously, your mind formulating a plan to help Jennie in a way that would surpass her wildest expectations. "It's not superficial at all, Jennie. It's okay to have those thoughts and desires. In fact, I believe I can assist you with that."
Jennie looked up at you, her eyes filled with hope. "You can? How?"
"Well," you began, leaning back in your chair and smiling warmly. "As a specialist therapist, I have some unique methods at my disposal. One of which is hypnosis, a favourite amongst my regular clients."
Jennie's eyes widened in surprise. "Hypnosis? Like making people forget their names and sleep from a snap of your fingers?"
You chuckled and reassured her. "That's the kind of hypnosis you see in shows, meant for entertainment. However, the hypnosis I use is a powerful tool for therapy. It allows people to access their subconscious minds, making them more receptive to suggestions and open to new experiences."
"So, you're saying you're going to hypnotise me?" Jennie asked, her voice a mix of curiosity and skepticism.
"Yes," you replied confidently. "Under hypnosis, I can help you explore your deepest desires, release your inhibitions and pent-up feelings, and even potentially enhance your future sexual experiences."
Jennie's eyes sparkled with excitement and nervousness. "That sounds… intriguing. But what if I get stuck in hypnosis forever?"
You smiled "That's a common misconception. Hypnosis is a natural state we all experience daily, like when you're so focused on a task that you lose track of time. You always remain in control, even in a hypnotic state."
"Oh," Jennie said, looking slightly relieved. "So, how will you actually hypnotise me?"
"I'll guide you into a relaxed state, and then I'll make suggestions to your subconscious mind," you explained. "Your conscious mind might not recall everything, but your body and subconscious will respond accordingly."
"And you're confident this could help me?" Jennie asked, filled with hope.
"I'm sure it will," you assured her. "Now, are you ready to give it a try?"
Jennie took a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, let's do it."
"Wonderful," you say, your voice calm and soothing. "Just relax and focus on my voice. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths…" Jennie followed your instructions, her eyelids gently closed as she inhaled and exhaled slowly.
"That's it," you continued, your voice low and hypnotic. "With each breath, you're relaxing more and more. Your body is becoming heavy, and your mind is calm and serene. You're safe and secure here, and your subconscious mind is opening up, ready to receive my suggestions." Jennie's breathing slowed, and her body sank into the plush couch.
"Now, Jennie," you continued "Listen closely to my words. You won't remember this conversation, but your mind and body will obey the following commands. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Jennie whispered, her voice dreamy and distant.
"Good," you say, filled with satisfaction and mischief. "From this moment on, you will be deeply aroused by my presence. The sound of my voice will make your pussy wet, and the very thought of me will make your heart race with desire. You will crave my touch, my kiss, and the feeling of my body against yours."
Jennie's body reacted to your words, her arousal was evident from the quickening pace of her breaths.
You continued "Your body is mine to command, you will become my obedient sex slave, eager to please me and able to fulfil your deepest desires. You will do anything I ask without hesitation, and your pleasure will be heightened by your submission to me."
Jennie moaned softly, her hands unconsciously moving to her thighs as her body responded to your words.
"You are mine, Jennie, my sexy and obedient slave," you whispered.
Finally, you instruct "When I snap my fingers, you will slowly open your eyes and be released from this hypnotic state. And when you look at me, you will be fully under my control."
*Snap*
Jennie's eyelids fluttered open, her eyes filled with desire as she gazed at you.
"Good girl," your voice laced with lust. "Now, stand up and undress for me, slowly and seductively."
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4ec8e66fdf2b79f85d3b8f83d50dd17a/e644faf36c81bb0b-0a/s540x810/4cbe47f9f79af997c731c0b2fc0acc88d7be10bf.jpg)
Jennie rose gracefully from the couch, her movements fluid as she began to remove her clothing, piece by piece. Her hands trembled slightly as she pulled her top off, which revealed the alluring black bra beneath. After letting her top fall to the floor, she hooked her thumbs into the waistband of her jeans, slowly slid it down her legs, and stepped out of it to stand before you in nothing but her provocative black lingerie set.
She then reached behind to unclasp her bra, freeing her full, round, and perky breasts. Her nipples, already erect and sensitive with arousal, caused her to moan softly after being exposed to the cool air. Her hands then moved to the thin straps of her panties, slowly pulling them down her thighs, over her knees, and onto the floor, which left her completely nude.
Your eyes feasted on her slutty body, taking in her creamy skin, ample breasts, and freshly shaved pussy. "Beautiful," you murmur, your voice thick with desire. "Now, come here, slave."
Jennie obeyed, walking over to stand before you.
"Turn around, I want to see that gorgeous ass" you exclaimed dominantly.
Jennie turned, presenting her firm, heart-shaped ass to you. Her cheeks clenched slightly as she felt your gaze on her, and a rush of excitement washed over her at being so exposed and vulnerable.
"Such a perfect view," you praised, as you reached out to gently caress her ass cheeks. "Now, bend over."
Jennie complied, bending at the waist and holding her calves. Her legs were slightly apart, exposing her swollen pussy lips that glistened with arousal.
You stood up and moved behind her, your hands roamed over her ass cheeks before they slipped between her legs to stroke her wet folds. "So wet already," you murmured. "You've been a very naughty girl, Jennie."
Jennie moaned softly, her head hanging down as she reveled in the sensations coursing through her body from your touch.
"Now, I'm going to give you a spanking. Count each strike out loud and thank me for it." you firmly instructed.
"As you command, Master," Jennie whispered, her body trembling with anticipation.
You raised your hand and brought it down sharply on Jennie's left cheek, leaving a bright red handprint. "One, thank you, Master," Jennie gasped, her voice laced with pleasure and pain.
You delivered another sharp smack, this time to her right cheek. "Two, thank you, Master," Jennie cried out filled with excitement.
You continued the spanking, alternating cheeks and landing each smack with force and precision, causing her ass cheeks to glow a rosy red. "Three, thank you, Master," Jennie chanted, her body trembling. "Four, thank you, Master. Five, thank you, Master. Six, thank you..."
"Enough," you exclaimed. "Now, get on your knees and show me how much you've craved a big cock."
Jennie immediately dropped to her knees, her eyes locked with yours as she reached for the waistband of your trousers. With deft fingers, she unbuckled your belt and pulled both your trousers and boxers down revealing your 12-inch erect cock, already pulsating with desire.
Jennie's eyes widened at the sight of your thick, veiny shaft, the head moistened with pre-cum. It was the biggest cock she had ever seen, and the thought of taking it inside her made her pussy clench with anticipation. A wicked smile crossed her face as she imagined the humiliation her Asian ex-boyfriends would feel if they saw her now, their tiny penises no match for the monster she was about to take.
Jennie took your command to heart, as she leaned forward, her full lips wrapped around the head of your throbbing cock. Her eyes locked with yours, a silent communication of her eagerness to please you and a hidden desire to prove her worth against the small cocks of her past.
Inch by inch, she slowly began lowering her mouth further down your shaft. She attempted to deepthroat you, her tongue swirling and her throat muscles relaxing to accommodate your impressive length and girth. The sensation was euphoric; her warm, wet mouth enveloped you, and her soft tongue massaged your sensitive underside. You finally felt her nose nudge your pubic bone as she took you fully, her eyes watering as she struggled to push through her gag reflex.
'That's it, Jennie,' you encouraged, your voice hoarse with desire. 'Take me all the way down, show yourself that you can deal with a real man.'
Jennie moaned around your length, the vibrations sent shivers down your spine. She withdrew slightly, only to plunge back down, her lips forming a tight seal around you. Her hands grasped your thighs, her fingernails dug into your skin as she took control of the rhythm, her head bobbing up and down at a steady pace. Her mind pictured the pathetic men she once dated, their small packages were no comparison to your mighty cock and each movement of her head was a silent victory over her past unsatisfying encounters.
The sight of her, on her knees, mouth stretched around your girth, was a powerful aphrodisiac. You placed your hands on her head, threading your fingers through her silky hair, and guided her movements. 'Such a good girl,' you praised 'But now, I want to fuck that beautiful mouth, and show you what you've been missing.'
With a nod, Jennie understood your desire and her craving for submission. She released your cock from her mouth, her lips glistening with saliva and pre-cum. You then guided her to the edge of the couch, and positioned her on her knees, her hands resting on the cushions. Jennie, filled with anticipation, opened her mouth, inviting you in and ready to prove her worth.
You grasped your shaft, placing the tip of your cock onto her waiting lips. With a firm thrust, you entered her mouth, and her tongue flicked across the sensitive underside of your cock, sending waves of pleasure through your body. The sensation was electric, her warm mouth enveloped you and her full lips caressed your shaft. You began to face fuck her, your hips snapped forward and back, each thrust pushing deeper and deeper into her throat.
'Look at me, Jennie,' you commanded 'I want to see your eyes as I use that pretty mouth and make you feel the power of a real man.'
Jennie's gaze met yours, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of pleasure and triumph. She moaned around your length, the vibrations intensifying the pleasure. Your pace quickened, with each motion a testament to your lust and her newfound purpose.
'That's it, my obedient sex slave,' you growled. 'Take it all in, let me use that gorgeous slutty mouth and show the world that you were made for bigger and better cocks.'
Jennie's response was a guttural sound of bliss, her body trembled as she surrendered to the primal act, her mind filled with images of her exes' tiny cocks in comparison to your massive member.
You increased your pace even further, your hips were a blur hammering into and out of her mouth. 'You're doing so well, Jennie, I want to feel your throat tighten around me as I cum. Show me how much you've craved big cock.' you exclaimed.
Jennie's eyes widened at your words, her body tensed in anticipation. You grasped her hair tighter, guiding her head in a synchronous rhythm that enhanced your deep thrusts. The room filled with the sounds of her sucking and slurping, and your heavy breathing as you neared your climax.
'That's it you whore, suck me dry, swallow my cum, and prove to yourself that you were made for more than those pathetic small cocks.' you grunted.
As you exploded, filling Jennie's mouth with your hot seed, her throat constricted around your shaft, milking every last drop. Her eyes never left yours, and you see her struggle to swallow the copious amount of cum you released.
Withdrawing your cock, it glistened with a mixture of saliva and cum. You then pulled her to the couch, her body still trembling from the intensity of the experience. 'Lie back' you instructed 'It's time for you to truly feel me.'
Jennie, her body flushed with arousal, followed your command and offered herself completely to your pleasure and to the fulfilment of her fantasies. She laid on the couch and spread her legs, a wanton invitation. You positioned yourself between her thighs, your eyes locking with hers as you placed your throbbing cock to her glistening core. 'Are you ready for this, my eager slave? Are you ready to finally experience fullness?'
'Please, Master,' she pleaded, her hands reaching up to pull you closer. 'I need your cock inside me. I need to feel you, all of you, and all at once.'
The desperation in her voice sent a jolt of dominance through you, and with a growl, you rammed your cock forward, claiming the depths of her pussy in one smooth motion. Her eyes flew open at the sensation of being filled so completely and perfectly, her mind briefly flashed to the disappointing encounters with her exes. 'Oh, my God,' she yelled, her back arching off the couch, her hands gripping the cushions as if to anchor herself during this overwhelming moment. 'It's so big! I've never felt so full!'
You paused, giving her a moment to adjust to your size, to the feeling of being stretched and broken in, and to the realisation that she could never go back. Then, with a primal need, you began to move, your hips snapped forward and backward, each thrust deliberate and powerful. You filled her again and again, each stroke erasing the memories of her previous sexual experiences.
'You like that, don't you? You like being fucked by a cock that destroys your tight Asian pussy, that makes you forget those insignificant little boys' you roared, pounding into her.
'Yes, Master!' she cried out. 'It's incredible! I've never felt so full, so completely satisfied! I was so wrong to settle for anything less!'
Her words spurred you on, and you showed no mercy as you drove into her, your hands roughly gripped her slender hips, leaving faint marks on her porcelain skin. Jennie's body became a canvas of pleasure, her breasts swayed, her nipples stood erect and tight, and her tight belly bulged with each thrust. Instinctively, her long legs wrapped around your waist, her ankles locked behind your back as you continued to thrust. The slight change in angle sent new waves of pleasure through her, and she cried out, her voice echoing off the walls.
'You feel that, slut? You feel how deep I can go, how much more pleasure I can give you' you asked.
'Master, I feel it! I feel your enormous cock throbbing inside me! I never want to go back!' Jennie groaned, her body moving in sync with yours, meeting your thrusts with her own.
You leaned down, capturing her mouth in a kiss as you continued to ram into her. The kiss was fierce, your tongue mimicked the rhythm of your hips and claimed her soul. Jennie responded with equal fervor, her hands grasped your hair and pulled you in as if she couldn't get enough of your taste, as if she had been starving for this kind of passion and pleasure.
You broke the kiss, sat up, and roughly grabbed her legs, spreading them as wide as they could go. Continuing to pound deep into her, Jennie's eyes rolled upwards, her mouth gaped open and her tongue hung outwards. She revealed her slutty ahegao face and it was a sight to behold. Her body and core began to clench around you, and you could feel her pleasure building to an intense peak "I'm close, Master!"
You suddenly pulled out, releasing your cock from her pussy's tight hold. "Not yet, my little slave, ride me and show me how much you crave this superior cock!" you commanded.
With a fluid motion, Jennie pushed you onto your back and rose, her body a vision of newfound confidence. Placing her hands on your chest for support, she then straddled your lap and roughly impaled herself with your cock. Taking control, she moved her hips in a forceful yet sensual rhythm, maximising her pleasure.
You grasped her hips and repositioned your own so that she could take you even deeper. Playfully, you encouraged her "That's it, Jennie, take all of me, fuck yourself on my cock like the whore you are."
Following your encouragement, Jennie continued to move her body up and down, moaning with a sound of pure satisfaction and triumph.
Seeing her ample breasts bounce, teased you to taste them. You placed her hands on your shoulders and, as she leaned forward, captured her right nipple between your lips. You sucked and teased her firm nipple as she continued to ride you. "Oh, yes! I love how my Master sucks on my sensitive tits!" she cried out, her body trembling.
After a teasing final suckle, you released her right nipple and focused on the left. This time, you playfully bit down and pulled her nipple with your teeth, causing her to moan with a mixture of pain and pleasure.
Feeling satisfied, you freed her tits and instructed her "Now, my eager slave, turn around and bounce that firm ass on my cock."
Jennie, her body shiny with sweat, complied and turned facing away from you. She got into a squatting position and lowered herself onto your shaft, her movements were slow and deliberate, and her back arched as she took you in, inch by inch. Her hands gripped your legs, her fingers dug into your flesh as she set a new rhythm.
"That's it, Jennie," you praised, your voice a low rumble. "Enjoy being filled and stretched out by a real man."
Jennie moaned and started to quicken her pace, her body moved in a way that showcased her surrender to her desires and the superiority of your size. As her rhythm intensified, you had the perfect view of her ass. It took the whole of your length and jiggled each time she slammed into you.
Soon, her head fell backwards, her long silky black hair cascading down her back as she acquiesced to the sensations that coursed through her. "Master! I'm so close again! Your cock… it's taking me to places I've never been with those small cock boys!" she exclaimed in ecstasy.
"That's it, let go! Cum for me while you ride my big hard cock!" you shouted.
Jennie's body shook violently, her walls clenched around you as she surrendered to her orgasm. "I'm coming, Master!" she screamed, her nails digging into your legs as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. You continued to fuck her through her orgasm, your hands engulfed her small waist, supporting her in a sensual rhythm.
As her climax began to subside, you moved her to the edge of the couch and positioned her on all fours, her hands and knees sinking into the cushions. Almost instinctively, her back arched and offered a stunning view of her glistening pussy. "Now, my obedient slave, it's my turn." you laugh "I'm gonna break your mind and pussy."
Jennie, her body still heaving with overwhelming pleasure, could only nod in submission. You stood behind her and tightly held onto her hips with both hands. Using the tip of your erect cock, you teased her wet folds and, with a single powerful thrust, rammed deep inside her.
Before she could even comprehend what had happened, you pulled out fully and slammed right back into her. You continued to roughly jackhammer her tight wet Asian pussy, stretching her out and bruising her cervix. "You like that, Jennie? You like being taken from behind, being reminded that you're a submissive little slut that has outgrown those Asian boys?" you exclaimed.
"Yes, Master!" she cried out in pain. "Take me, own me, I've chosen you and the path of true pleasure!" She began to move her body in sync with yours, her hands tightly gripping the cushions as she took you in. Jennie's surrender was absolute, her body was a vessel for your pleasure and your dominance over her was complete.
Suddenly, her arms and legs gave in, releasing your hard cock and leaving her prone on the couch. Despite this, you quickly repositioned yourself above her and forcefully pushed your length back into her, filling her once more.
"Fuck Jennie! Your pussy is so tight in this position." you praised emphatically. Jennie moaned with a mixture of pleasure and exhaustion "I love it, Master! I love how you use my pussy as your personal fleshlight, fucking it roughly into oblivion!"
As you continued to drive into her, you felt the coil of your pleasure tighten. You leaned down, your mouth close to her ear, your breath hot against her skin, and whispered a command. "That's right, slave. And now, I want you to come for me again before I finally finish deep inside of you."
Jennie's body reacted to your erotic words, her pussy clenched around your shaft as she pleaded. "Please, Master, fill me with your cum! I want to feel your cum inside me, claiming me as yours! I choose you, and I'll never look back!"
Your control began to slip as her words, her submission, and the tight heat of her body pushed you closer to the edge. Your movements became wilder, your pace became a frenzied rhythm, and each thrust became a statement of your mastery over her. "You're mine, Jennie," you growled, your voice raw with passion and lust. "Every part of you, every scream, every moan, belongs to me!"
"Oh, Master! Fuck me deeper, harder, and faster!" she cried out, her body moving in perfect harmony with yours, her pleasure once again building to an intense peak.
With a powerful final thrust, you surrendered to your pleasure and roared as you released your hot seed deep within her, marking her as your property. At the same time, Jennie's body convulsed as she too surrendered to her climax, her walls milking your shaft and her pleasure consuming her.
For minutes, you remain joined, your bodies slick with sweat and the evidence of your shared pleasure. Jennie's breath was ragged, her eyes glazed with satisfaction as she turned her head to look at you, a satisfied smile on her lips.
"That was…" she began, her voice triumphant and exhausted. "I've never experienced anything like that. I feel like I've finally found what I've been missing."
You returned a warm smile, a sense of victory filling you. "It's been my pleasure to guide you, Jennie. And this is just the beginning of your journey into true fulfilment."
Finally getting up, you both slowly got dressed. However, Jennie's curiosity got the better of her, her mind still buzzing from the heavenly experience. "But how did I… I mean, I don't remember agreeing to all of this. It's like I had no control, but I loved it."
You laughed with an insidious glint in your eyes, a glint of a master who had hypnotised his client to become his sex slave. "The mind is powerful, Jennie. As you can tell from first-hand experience, even if you don't remember it, hypnosis can still do wonders for the mind and body."
Jennie nodded understandingly "So, it's almost like, I was… under a spell?" "A spell of pleasure that frees you, one might say," you smoothly replied "And it's a spell I'm sure you'll want to be under again, to continue exploring the path you've chosen today."
Jennie smiled lustfully, her body still humming with the afterglow of her intense orgasms and her mind already imagining the possibilities of future sessions. "I can't deny that it was… an eye-opening experience. I want to explore more, to leave no stone unturned in my pursuit of pleasure and fulfilment."
You held the door open for her, a silent promise in your eyes, a promise of further guidance and pleasure. "Until next time, Jennie. A world of true satisfaction awaits, and you've only just begun to scratch the surface."
As Jennie stepped out, you allowed yourself a moment of gratification, knowing that the hypnosis had worked its magic and Jennie had now become your obedient personal sex slave. You now wondered about your other clients and the possibilities of guiding them to a similar outcome. The thought was tantalising, and you knew that this was just the beginning of a journey into the dark and devious world of hypnotic domination.
#blackpink jennie#jennie#jennie smut#jennie x reader#jennie x male reader#blackpink#blackpink jennie smut#blackpink smut#kpop smut#smut#male reader#kpop gg#idol x male reader#idol x reader#kpop x reader#kpop x male reader#kpop#kpop idol
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💣💥💣💥💣
so with Episode 67 finally posted and the dust settled, I wanted to share some funny behind-the-scenes stuff with you all.
Clip Studio is a great piece of software, it's what allows Banshriek and I to work on the same episode together via cloud-syncing (it's a function called "Teamworks" in the app) but it's also... kind of garbage sometimes. Without getting too much into it, CSP has a bottleneck issue with how it predominantly uses CPU rather than the graphics card in a computer. And considering it's literally graphics software, yeah, you can probably figure out pretty quickly with the most bare minimum of computer knowledge why this is a problem that's really silly for it to have LOL
ANYWAYS. This has been known to cause problems between Banshriek and I when trying to complete an episode. Problems that - often enough for me to tell you stories about it - result in us having to essentially "rebuild" the episode we're working on. This doesn't necessarily mean having to redraw anything (thankfully that doesn't happen very often) but it usually goes down something like this:
1.) The software suddenly has an issue syncing our changes which results in either conflicted files that can't update, software crashes that refuse to load pages, updates not even going through, or taking WAY too long to update to the point that we'd rather just rebuild and work on the episode independently and then swap the files and layers when it's time for the other person to do their part.
2.) I have to inform Banshriek that Clip Studio crashed again, and in the event that I can't get back into page editing because of the aforementioned issues ^^^ they immediately get to backing up their most recent version of the file that's stored on their computer. Thankfully a lot of the time these versions are pretty up to date, but it's still a moment of tension every single time because these crashes don't always happen the same way every time.
3.) Using the backup version, a new .cmc file (the file that contains every page for each episode, it's the thing that lets you make pages for comics in the software!) is created by whoever has access to the pages without issue (usually Banshriek is the one who's able to do it, this has become a very one-sided problem LMAO) and then is sent to me so that I can upload it to the cloud to replace the old version. This file is then usually called something like "Episode#BACKUP" to distinguish between both versions as we usually still have the older versions downloaded as well.
4.) Work (hopefully) continues as normal. Though it's definitely caused setbacks, so far our survival rate is still 100% 😆
This happens at least every other episode. It's become rare to go a whole episode without having to go through this process. We're still trying to figure out what we can do to avoid it, but we've tried a bunch of other options (and Banshriek has created some test episodes using pages from completed episodes that crashed for the sake of experimenting) and so far it's still a struggle understanding what exactly is going wrong with Clip Studio and it's syncing features. Fortunately, Banshriek and I are both auDHD enough that we're gonna obsess over it until we figure it out LMAO but until then, we're constantly having to treat Clip Studio like a live snake that's trying to wrangle itself out of our hands 💀😆
And the most recent episode? Episode 67, which ran a week and a day late? It set a new personal best for number of backups, because we had to rebuild it not just once, but TWICE.
What we've noticed is that sometimes you can barely make a change to an episode and these crashes still happen, as if major changes have been made. So far the best hypothesis Banshriek has come up with regarding this observation is that the software struggles more to update changes that affect overall pixel count and appearance - stuff like moving canvases, flipping canvases, adding on textured layers (which is what we do at the end of making each page) , etc. that covers a lot of pixels at a time, even if it's only changing the hues / colors slightly, seems to cause the most problems.
During the production of Episode 67, the following plagues came to pass:
Our car exploded
Our cat nearly exploded (btw! for anyone wondering from my last post about him, he's doing better now!)
Our toilet pipes froze twice (and exploded once)
Democracy in the U.S. exploded
My husband's wisdom teeth were exploding so the last 3 of them were removed all at once
The files for Episode 67 exploded twice and had to be rebuilt just to keep it on life support (by the end of the episode we were literally sending files back and forth via Google Drive like peasants 😔 /hj)
The most non-explosive thing to happen was the tattoo shop I work at moving locations up the street, and even then, I came very close to exploding a few times during that process LMAO (and our debit machine just exploded so we're cash only for the next few days sksksks)
This episode was probably our most cursed yet, and frankly, it couldn't be more fitting, I think Dionysus himself had a hand in our madness, just for the sake of being on theme with this episode. And the worst part, we haven't even gotten into the truly chaotic stuff yet. All Dionysus has done so far is slam Hades' head into a table, he's barely gotten started. Dionysus only knows what Episode 68 has in store for me and Banshriek as well 😭💀
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This is your monthly reminder that trans girl periods are probably definitely real.
"ow ow ow ow ow"
- Erika
Serious discussion of/essay on trans woman periods under the cut:
While transgender women experiencing period symptoms is not something that has been scientifically researched with any rigor as far as I'm aware, enough trans women report the phenomena that it can reasonably be assumed real. The interesting thing is there are competing theories as to the mechanism behind trans women periods, which are as follows:
1. An empathetic or otherwise psychosomatic response, as in a trans woman has periods because she knows other women do. I don't like this, but we'll get back to that
2. Confirmation bias of unrelated symptoms, usually gastrointestinal, calling anything that happens in the general area a period.
3. Hormonal cycle from taking estrogen makes the body attempt a period, even without a uterus, accounting for cramping, mood changes, and changes to breast texture.
I don't think 1 or 2 are especially good explanations on their own, and taken in a vacuum sort of reinforce a conclusion and stereotype that transgender women are faking it (1) or eat nothing but junk food (2). However, these two definitely aren't unprecedented as factors, as long as you accept that there is a hormonal component (3).
Considering two of the most common phenomena reported with periods generally, we can get a broader picture. First is the phenomena of women syncing their cycles; this itself sports conflicting research and is mostly anecdotally observed, just like trans women periods. Nonetheless it could provide a point towards the empathetic response theory that would be more than making it up, rather, whatever about an estrogen-dominant body that (allegedly) causes sync is also applicable to transgender women. Second, consider the phenomena of period cravings. This phenomena is much more established than sync, it's commonly accepted that women on their periods tend to crave foods high in carbs, sugar, and salt. In other words, junk food. In that light the "trans women have had diets and call it a period" claim is not entirely dismissible, but is actually flipped in the ordering. It's entirely likely that trans women having their period regardless end up eating junk food, and cast doubt on to the validity of their own periods as a result.
As for my own personal anecdotes, I experience a cycle that is at least somewhat consistent. I don't notice symptoms every month, but many months, and they usually follow the same "structure" so to speak:
First, for about half a day, I get really horny. I believe this would technically be pre-period or a hormonal analogue to ovulation, nonetheless, I take the opportunity to have some fun, as pretty much nothing compares to how good it feels during this time.
Next, I have the junk food cravings, granted, I'm someone who eats taco bell weekly so, this doesn't represent an especially large change of diet for me, it's there though and if I'm cooking I might end up making something like mashed potatoes.
Finally, for around three days after that, I get really bloated and have some "typical" period symptoms: pain in my abdomen, the bloating itself, sore breasts, and even period shits. This is where I am while writing this post and we'll, to reiterate, "ow ow ow ow ow."
To me, this is far to specific of a sequence of events to be fake, even if it's not strictly monthly, and trans women have factors like missing estrogen doses or the presence/lack of progesterone that could influence that timing away from perfectly routine. Ultimately I'm another anecdote in a sea of anecdotes but, I choose to believe trans girl periods are real and biologically based, and I hope I've made a compelling argument supporting that here. This blog is made possible by boredom and mania mutuals like you, thank you!
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Baking up Trouble (Preview)
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Brother’s best friend Luigi x fem reader
This is a preview because I’m too lazy to write a summary LMAO. (Yes this will be smut. Probably the smuttiest smut I’ve ever written so stay tuned idk).
Also lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist for when I actually finish and post 🧍🏾♀️🫶🏾
It was rare for you to have the house to yourself.
Whether it was your mom bustling around the kitchen, your dad bellowing on the phone with some poor soul on the other end, or your older brother Caleb shouting over his headset at his friends while playing whatever dumbass game he was obsessed with that week, your home was never quiet.
So, when you finally got the chance to experience true, undisturbed silence, you weren’t about to let it go to waste.
Your parents were out of town on some business trip, dragging Caleb along under the guise of “preparing him for the family empire” or whatever grand plan they had for him. You had to admit you were grateful he was their golden child and not you because the idea of taking over the family business bored you to death. You respected it, sure, but you knew from a young age that it wasn’t for you. So when they extended the invitation—well, demand—to come along, you’d firmly declined, claiming you needed the downtime.
And oh, what a glorious decision that had been.
The house was finally quiet. Peaceful. Blissful. No one was yelling. No one was stomping around. It was just you, your favorite playlist blasting through the speakers, and a baking project you hadn’t been able to tackle since midterms swallowed your life.
You’d opted for comfort, slipping into your comfiest pajama set—a tiny pair of soft cotton shorts (the ones your best friend had gifted you as a joke, with the words “Best Ass on Instagram” emblazoned across the back) and a matching cami. You figured no one would see you, so what did it matter? With Megan Thee Stallion’s music fueling your every move, you danced around the kitchen as you whisked, measured, and kneaded your way into what you were sure would be the best cookies and cakes you’d ever made.
Life was good.
Until it wasn’t.
“CALEBBBBBB! DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU?”
The loud, grating voice shattered the peaceful bubble you’d created, making you jump so violently that the whisk you were holding clattered onto the counter. You froze, your heart sinking as recognition dawned.
There was only one person on Earth capable of being that loud and that irritating at the same time.
Luigi. Fucking. Mangione.
You groaned, your fingers gripping the edge of the counter as you prepared yourself for the chaos about to descend. Luigi had been Caleb’s best friend since they were kids, practically living at your house during summer breaks and any weekend they didn’t have plans elsewhere. He was obnoxious, smug, and always seemed to derive way too much joy from making your life difficult.
Before you could even think of hiding, he sauntered into the kitchen like he owned the place, his trademark smirk plastered across his face. He looked the same as always—big brown puppy-dog eyes that didn’t match his sharp tongue, short brown curls that were in DESPERATE need of some hair oils and curl cream, and, of course, that fuckass shirt.
“The Bali shirt… again?” you glared, gesturing at the faded blue tee he wore. “What is this, Day 527 of you refusing to buy new clothes?”
His grin widened, unbothered as ever. “What can I say? It’s comfortable.”
“Your family owns like half the town, Luigi. Maybe splurge on a shirt that doesn’t look like it’s been run over by a truck.”
“Why would I? This one drives you crazy. Can’t put a price on that.”
You rolled your eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t fall out of your head. “What are you even doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing, Shortcake.”
You bristled at the nickname he’d been calling you since you were kids. You hated it then, and you hated it now, mostly because it only made you feel shorter.
“Don’t call me that,” you snapped.
“What, you don’t like my nickname for you?” he teased, leaning casually against the counter like he didn’t notice (or care) that you were glaring daggers at him.
“No. I don’t, it’s inaccurate, i’m above average height,” you deadpanned.
“Well, too bad. It’s cute. You’re cute. Deal with it.”
You let out a sharp exhale, trying to ignore the way his words made your stomach do something infuriatingly close to flipping.
“Luigi,” you started, crossing your arms, “Why. Are. You. Here?”
He blinked innocently. “Looking for Caleb.”
“Well, Caleb isn’t here, genius. He’s in D.C. with my parents.”
Luigi frowned, his expression briefly falling into confusion before that damn smirk returned. “Huh. Guess I missed the memo, I really thought he’d be here,”
“Well, he’s not,” you said, your tone sharp. “So you can leave.”
He didn’t move. Instead, his gaze flicked over you, taking in your outfit with a slow, deliberate once-over that made your skin heat.
“Cute shorts,” he said, his voice dipping just enough to send an annoying tingle down your spine.
Your face burned. “Excuse me?”
“They’re… festive,” he continued, clearly amused. “What’s it say? ‘Best Ass on—’”
“Don’t.”
“Instagram?” he finished anyway, grinning as your glare deepened. “Fitting.”
“Get out.”
“Why? I’m complimenting you.”
“Luigi.”
“Yes, Shortcake?”
“Get. Out.”
He sighed dramatically, but instead of leaving, he pulled out a chair at the kitchen island and plopped himself down. “Nah, I think I’ll stick around. You look like you could use the company.”
Your jaw dropped. “Are you serious right now?”
“Very.”
“Caleb isn’t here. You have no reason to be here.”
“You’re here,” he said simply, propping his chin in his hand as he stared at you.
You scowled. “That’s not a reason.”
“It is for me.”
You groaned, turning back to your dough in an attempt to ignore him. “You’re insufferable.”
“And you’re adorable when you’re mad,” he shot back without missing a beat.
Your hands stilled, the words catching you off guard. You hated how smooth he could be, how effortlessly he could make you flustered with just a few words. And worse, he knew it.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” you asked, not bothering to look at him.
“Not really.”
“Go find something. Or someone. Literally anyone but me.”
“Why would I do that when I’ve got the best view in town right here?”
You froze, your stomach flipping as the weight of his gaze settled on you. Slowly, you turned to face him, narrowing your eyes.
“You’re disgusting.”
“And you’re a terrible liar,” he countered, leaning back in his chair with that infuriating grin still firmly in place.
“Why are you like this?” you muttered, more to yourself than to him.
“Like what? Charming? Handsome? Irresistible?”
“Annoying. Obnoxious. Full of yourself.”
He chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Admit it, Shortcake. You’d miss me if I wasn’t around.”
You scoffed. “In what universe?”
“This one,” he said easily, his eyes locked onto yours.
The tension in the air thickened, the playful banter giving way to something heavier, more charged. For a moment, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. His gaze was intense, almost searching, and it made your chest tighten in a way you didn’t want to examine too closely.
Finally, you broke the silence, turning back to your dough with a sharp exhale. “You’re delusional.”
“Maybe,” he said, his voice softer now. “But I’m not wrong.”
You didn’t respond, focusing instead on kneading the dough with more force than necessary. The sound of the music filled the space between you, but it did little to drown out the weight of his presence.
#luigi mangione fluff#luigi mangione smut#luigi#luigi mangione#freeluigi#free luigi#uhc killer#uh#uhc assassin#uhc ceo#uhc shooter#i need him#brothers best friend#smut#Lulu#i need him so fucking bad#iloveabitchywoman
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Astarion and Tav: How Fantasy in D&D Reflects the Multilayered Nature of Human Relationships.
Astarion's story is not just a branching plot. It is a mirror that reflects the main principle of human relationships: we change depending on who is around us. Even such a complex and well-written character as Astarion reveals himself differently with different Tavs - and this is his brilliant "humanity", despite his vampire nature.
The "spawn" and "Ascended" branches are just the basis. Nuances determine the character of Tav. Further, I will slightly simplify the terminology for better understanding, so that "good", "evil", "cruel" and so on are not labels, but conditional short definitions of character types. There are actually many more nuances than described here, and many more halftones of relationships.
Spawn-Astarion.
With kind Tav:
Becomes a sarcastic but caring ally. His barbs soften, and moments of sincere gratitude appear: “You’re as persistent as a flea… but I guess I’m glad you’re here.”
With cruel Tav:
Increases cynicism, justifies his aggression with her example: “Finally, you’ve stopped pretending to be a saint. Now we understand each other.”
With neutral Tav:
Balances between help and selfishness, copying her pragmatism.
Ascended Astarion.
With submissive Tav:
Sees her as an instrument of power. His “love” is control: “You will shine at my feet, darling.”
With rebellious Tav:
Enables rivalry mode. Their relationship is a game of cat and mouse, where each tests the boundaries: “You think you can challenge me? I find this… interesting.”
With an equal Tav:
Recognizes partnership. His power becomes a contract, not a dictate.
Psychology of mutual influence: why are we different with different people.
Astarion and Tav illustrate the theory of mutual conditioning (determinism):
Attachment style:
If Tav demonstrates reliability (like a kind or neutral Tav), the Astarion spawn learns to trust. If Tav is unpredictable (cruel/chaotic), his anxiety increases.
Projection:
Astarion unconsciously projects the traits of a Kazador or a savior onto Tav, which affects his reactions.
Reinforcement:
A cruel Tav “rewards” his worst sides with approval, a kind one — gently corrects.
Important point: we are now considering only those options where Tav, despite her character, still accepts and does not suppress Astarion. Options when Tav tries to suppress Astarion make sense to consider in a separate post.
An example from life: With one partner, a person can be caring, with another - cold. This is not hypocrisy, but an adaptation to the dynamics that both form.
D&D as a field for experiments: a fantasy where you can be anyone.
Role-playing games allow players to:
Try on roles that frighten or delight in reality. Cruel Tav can explore power, kind - experience the power of empathy.
See the consequences of choice: Depending on the player's behavior and choices, Astarion can become either a tyrant for him or a loving faithful partner.
Understand that there is no “one true” way. As in life, relationships are negotiations, compromises and constant movement.
Fantasy as therapy. Through Astarion and interactions with him, players live out their fears (loss of control, betrayal) and dreams (healing, unconditional love) in a safe space.
Hard and soft scenarios: why both options are valid.
Toxic Dynamics (Ascended Astarion + Submissive Tav) reflects real relationships where one partner suppresses the other “in the name of love.”
Healthy Attachment (Spawn-Astarion + Kind Tav) shows how support helps a trauma victim open up.
Partnership of Equals (Ascended Astarion + Equal Tav) is a rare balance of power and love, where both learn to respect each other’s boundaries.
Suppression and Return to Slavery (Spawn-Astarion + Cruel Tav) is a dark scenario where Astarion trades one master for another.
Battle of Opposites (Ascended Astarion + Kind Tav) is an eternal argument and mutual attempts to pull the partner over to their side.
Of course, there can be many more options, and these are just small examples. Some of the scenarios can cause an extremely sharp reaction in those who follow other scenarios, and this is understandable. We are not obligated to like someone else's headcanon, and we are not obligated to accept it. We can be angry, hate someone else's path, and hate the person who chose it. However, as long as a person does not claim that his choice and his headcanon are the only correct ones, and that other options are simply impossible, he has the right to do whatever he wants. It is his story. And we have the right to choose whose stories we want to see and whose we do not, and whether we want to communicate with people whose stories we categorically do not accept.
Important: In D&D, as in life, there are no "perfect" relationships. Even a happy ending has cracks, and a tragedy has glimmers of light.
Conclusion: Astarion is us.
His arc is a metaphor for how our connections shape us. With kind people we soften, with cynical ones we grow armor, with equals we learn dialogue. D&D gives a unique chance to see who we could become in different circumstances - and to think about who we want to be here and now.
In the game, as in life, we are co-authors of other people's stories. Game worlds remind us: even a vampire can change if he meets someone who is not afraid of his darkness.
And what kind of Tav will you become?
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The people want to know- please share Jean Andrew thoughts 👀👀👀
hello anon, thank u for coming into my inbox and giving me the excuse to share more about my jeandrew au that's been living in my head rent free for the past few weeks
you can read the jeandrew fic i posted for kinkuary here
it got real long so im gonna put it under the cut, hope u enjoy <333
- in this au kevneil get together in college, andrew is their best friend. Jean still leaves the nest and goes to the trojans
- jean and andrew get drafted to the same pro team, neither of them interact much, maybe a nod or half smile after a good play. stays that way until they play kevin amd neils team, who invite them out after the game. kevneil are being argumentative and flirty so jean keeps making sarcastic comments under his breath and andrew doesnt laugh but he does buy jean drinks for the rest of the night
- they start bonding at an away match when neither of them can sleep they don't talk much but there's an understanding
- they're fwb whilst they play for the same team & the mutual understanding of their similar trauma allows them to experiment sexually in a safe environment
- andrew gets drafted away after a couple of seasons, cue both of them pining because turns out they def want to be more than friends
- jean flies out to whichever state andrew ends up at, legit romcom moment, standing in the rain, jean has a bunch of flowers because he is a romantic goddamit
- andrew is fucking obsessed with thia giant stood on his doorstep like a bedraggled cat & hates that he absolutely loves the fact that jean wants to romance him
- cue years of long distance, whilst they play on different teams. when they both retire they move in together, in the same city kevneil are still play. renee and jeremy are also close by. family finally together yayayyaya.
- their favourite date night is going to their local pretentious arthouse cinema then going for ice cream afterwards and shit talking whatever they saw
- jean write andrew poems, which andrew never mentions but keeps in a box in his bedside table
- they both love watching cooking shows, and andrew recreates whatever jean seems most interesting in
- kev and neil get cats and neil is convinced that cats are the source of pure happiness so when jeandrew are still long distance neil shows up on andrews doorstep with a cat hands it over without a word
- he does the same thing to jean
- kevneil love to argue about who clocked jeandrew first but what they don't know is that renee placed a bet on them with jeremy the second andrew started on jeans team
- jean is the only person andrew would ever submit to in the bedroom and jean takes this v seriously
- Andrew drives most of their d/s dynamic, jean only feels comfortable trying things that andrew wants
- jean will eventually ask for things but not until a few years into their retirement
- once they retire they get a dog, and then another one, and then another cat
- all of their pets come from Neil showing up, knowing exactly who can look after a small animal that needs a gentle home
- jeans favourite part of retirement is taking the dogs out on a hike, andrew refuses to go but saves all the photos jean sends him from his walks to a special folder in his phone
#aftg#jean moreau#andrew minyard#jeandrew#swlits au#i have so much more to say#maybe one day ill write this#but im not sure#i love them v much
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Oh, no, I didn't think you came off as flippant in your response at all. I did ask for your opinion and you have helped me so much in understanding. I enjoy having discussions with fellow fans, especially when they point out things I may have overlooked. I'm not arguing at all with you. 😊😁
Now that you mention it, you're right that love languages can be problematic in both origins and application. I know someone that had tried to use the love language of physical touch as an excuse for his entitlement to sex in his relationship. I tried to explain to him that physical touch is not just sexual, it's also holding hands, cuddling, and the like. Unfortunately, I was unable to help him understand that.
Personally, I experienced parentification, having to cook and clean and take care of my brother who has a physical disability. Because I was forced into this role, I don't enjoy doing acts of service as an expression of my love; it's labor. However, I appreciate it when my partner shows their love for me through acts of service. LOL it really revs up my engine if you catch my drift.
But that's only an example of my personal experience, I'm NOT trying to sound akin to "I'm right, you're wrong because me me me" sort of argument. My experience may not be universal to others and that's okay.
If I had to assign Katara a primary love language, I think it would be words of affirmation. And you're right, all 5 love languages are needed by everyone depending on the situation. Though I think that everyone ranks them differently in regards to how important they are to themselves.
I appreciate your insight into emotional labor as well. One person is doing the brunt of the emotional labor while the other gets to snog- that's an apt description of what is happening. The dynamic is unbalanced. And the fact that they have a trauma bond and Zuko has learned that love is transactional- you have a keen eye!
You mentioned how The Boiling Rock was Mai's stakes being challenged and the choices were either let Zuko go or watch him die. So very insightful!! Thank you very much for pointing that out.
Yes, in the show, the writers of the final episode (Bryke) backpedalled on Mai's act of letting go of Zuko. I disliked the ultimatum. It was played off for jokes but it's problematic as it is. You're right that she didn't learn what it really means to love someone and it's sad to see that happen.
In my Book 4 fix-it fanfic, my prologue will explain which scenes would be redacted or edited from the show. I was thinking of either redacting the Maiko scene altogether or editing the scene to be a Zutara cliffhanger for the end of Book 3.
Thank you again for all your input! I truly do appreciate it. I'm working hard to make my fanfic as close as possible to what Ehasz and crew might've been trying to accomplish in their storytelling if it wasn't for Bryke's meddling. Your insights have definitely had a positive impact on me and my writing.
Thank you again! ☺️
[I'm sorry my post is so long]
My take on Maiko
Now this isn't meant to be a bash against Mai. I wanted to point out the hot and cold emotional rollercoaster that is Mai and Zuko's relationship. I believe they are not romantically compatible but it isn't any one person's fault.
They have different love languages and different relationship wants and needs. They also have opposing political views.
Zuko's experiences have changed him, what with being banished and life as a fugitive. He is no longer the boy Mai had a childhood crush on. People grow and change and so do too our interpersonal relationships.
Despite everything, they still care for each other. Keep in mind that caring for someone can be platonic or familial as well, not just romantic.
Simply put, they are not a good match for each other.
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NEVER!!!!! kill yourself because on this earth there is a special little freak made in heaven just for you that shares ALL of your kinks (EVEN THOSE ONES YES!!!!! I WAS ALSO SURPISED!!!!!) and you NEED to survive long enough to fuck nasty together
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this
#you all know that i can't stand gatekeeping and how that's why i bring up what i like all the time in various contexts#but the surprising thing with mbf for me is that i can't talk about it as freely to people who don't know me#because i can't find a way to translate it without having to offer some crucial segment of myself#i enjoy sharing ideas and thoughts more than anything else but i don't like sharing me the person behind them#because i really cherish my individuality as something important in spite of where it takes me sometimes#i don't want to tarnish it!!!! i don't want even the smallest piece of it to be missing because i wouldn't know what to do anymore#i'll stick to typing out thoughts here and to my mom and to my med textbooks#but i must say it feels strangely refreshing to have something that is only my own this way because i always have to put myself out there#and this way i am not giving anyone the opportunity to twist it into something terrible about me#my spontaneous outbursts might ruin this for me though#letters from stephanie*#i dislike that i can't step outside of my own experiences with this like i usually do because art should be shared#this is suchhh a crazy person post#i think i finally get what my dad means when we fight about how i shouldn't say everything i think all the time#he doesn't want me to filter myself he wants me to preserve who i am from harm because stepping up sometimes won't help#who i'm trying to help but it will ruin me in some way even if it just makes me upset#i think that's how he manages to be calm without betraying himself?#he isn't lying he's just saying what he thinks when it matters and to those that matter#like most of the time i am right to single myself out but there is a particular shade of grey when i shouldn't do it#idk this is literally donna telling the dr YOU CAN STOP NOW.#realistically i just need someone to calm me down when my passions turn against me#overly personal post once again i am sooo sorryyyy look away
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one month off uni LET'S GO!!
#first i want to complete all my notes#make detailed plans and outlines for my original pieces and work on/expand them based on my formative feedback#then i want to get a head start on any reading before the spring term#some personal goals are:#to have planned a few more chapters and arcs for my main fic as of now – and then get to writing plenty of chapters in advance#to have finished the zordon era of power rangers and then the later seasons from saban – i'm esp excited for time force and wild force#start planning and writing my contribution for the red queen valentines gift exchange (and *possibly* contribute to mareven week)#binge watching the twilight movies with my sisters because they are so funny idc idc#start watching the karate kid/cobra kai universe with my sisters#finally watch the fruits basket anime which my bestie has been recommending forever#meet up with said bestie after ages of not seeing her!#go with another bestie so we can finally dye our hair (here's to hoping we find a nice hijabi friendly salon ayee)#keep all my fasts bc they've been accumulating#experiment with my baking – i want to try my hand at an angel cake and strawberry shortcake 🍰#make lasagane soup again at least once#and go out to the cinema maybe since i've still yet to watch wicked – and i have a green gingham dress i think would be really nice to wear#I'M SO EXCITED Y'ALL DON'T KNOW#here's to being productive (Insh'A'Allah)#even if most of the things on my list are fun stuff haha#my post#thoughts
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I fuckin.. I need I need my art to be better man..
I need it to be looser, i need more Life, more Energy, more Colour!!!!! more Stylization!!!!!!! more SHAPES!!!!!! Mood Mood and Tone and Feeling!!!!!!!!!!
and less whatever weird archaic constraints I am holding from Highschool that I can't seem to shake off
I need to Break It a little bit, I need to Bend it until it Sings again..
#Monster noises#unlike my usual Art Gripe posts this one isn't about me looking at my art and seeing something Mediocre#it's me looking at the Objectively Technically Successful thing I'm working on/recently posted and Feeling Nothing From It#and I mean sure we'll chalk a little bit of that up to the depression#cause whether or not I'm feeling Things about the stylization of my work I Should be more giddy than I am#about the husbands finally getting Nasty#outside of just my brain space#but putting that aside the point remains#I'm disappointed by the pieces (and many of my recent pieces and many pieces going back years) lack of Dynamism#I want to capture what the Feeling in image is more than an actual Depiction of the Thing if that makes sense?#Poses should be Pushed#Anatomy eskewed for Shape and expression#but I always always Always Shrink Back#I get to a point and I start thinking 'this looks wrong' and I pull back#I pull back to try and make it look 'right'#and end up reducing it to something...#not Stiff#but limp?#metaphysically Limp#Lacking in the evocative expression I wanted it to have#can you /feel/ the arch of his back like a melody in the back of your head?#or is he just like.. clearly arching his back like a human person would#there's a tacit difference and I am disappointment how rarely I hit the mark on the former#and this is an Old thing and Old old thing#that started in highschool#a long-term bad chain of experiences with a friend and trying to learn to be better artists together#not understanding my needs and how my brain works and trying to fit in a very specific hole i didn't want to fit in#and being chastised for it (though the slight was probably more Received than Intended)#what broke me out of that last time#and kept me from giving up drawing basically
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maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)
#could be anything ofc but i sure went sighhh i'll read the nyt review for science; i'm already assuming it's a piece of shit#(it was; thus predictably; a piece of shit. even the nyt rave for a show i liked was basically a piece of shit)#the only thing that makes raves higher quality is they might have actually bothered giving more info abt the show#& otherwise have devoted more thoughts & less space to just the critic's dogshit directionless griping. but barely; so#anyway i was like oh i can search twitter easily for a word as distinctive as bloodsong (except also a ship name for some videogame)#then i was like oh my god at a post from jenashtep about like oh it's the anniversary of two days in a row Events#first when the nyt bsol review was published second when i went to your apartment to make sure you weren't dead#(wait she didn't say To Make Sure You Weren't Dead she says Because I Thought You Were Dead....throw a glass situations)#like well damn also hmm....(also first thing the nyt would've covered at all i think. tbs never played in ny....or nj evidently)#one can only imagine. bsol is so [it does feel very christmas extravaganzay to me in ways. not the same lord knows but]#that like I'm riled fourteen years later finally listening to a boot which leaping into the arms of someone lifting up an Audio#same as xmas like sure i can't be like oh it's about this that the other precise moment though there are ones that extra rile me#can't say it's so obvious like i could Elevator Pitch explain to a rando why i Gasp or get weepy or just have some very special experience#plus i've never even gone lol. the way they can't stop the xmas show b/c it's a musical that just crops up a weekend a year lol#i'm so already like oh of course this is something i'm obsessed with forever now :) unsurprisingly & like it's so idiosyncratic god bless#(also unsurprisingly bloodsong seems to have been broadly warmly received; save by the Newspaper Of Note(tm) taking a dump & calling it a#day like will was saying abt tbs l.a. like oh audiences loved it local online coverage loved it just the less than halfassed review by the#Big Paper didn't & was like ''why isn't this a whole other thing'' called it a day)#anyway like hey I'm absolutely on fire for Outlaw for Not In Your Soul You Don't for Last On Land for Friendship Song to name a few#for what ended up being my proper angle of entry like oh that means a funny little villain then? (yes) like boy is that a banger alone#think thusly nominated for off bway relevant awards; got more than one nom....hey for one thing fourteen yrs later a rando can be obsessed#like that same rando cherishes the memory a livestream livechat interview where i said Black Suits Forever & they put that up onscreen so#joe had to pause like sorry i got distracted someone said black suits forever that's a line from the show & it's So that that show of mine#that never played in new york....like That's Right lol. i'm slamming the xmas fanart up to your window for year three joe Joseph the Show#(he did also see the bsol fanart which i more discreetly made a reply given he saw that Yay Krampusfucking reply last year lol)#anyway uh um. oh yeah wait also bloodsong is lifechanging sort of to me personally i'm just like. so relatively evenkeeled about it like#well of course :) & it counts as lifechanging when i get anticsful Posting. & it's lifechanging Any shows Any songs that are any kind of#impactful. speaking of like individual numbers in cabaret shows or the entire show or the album or concert or anything#as i reblog Outlaw again yelling or go god damn one Understands how last on land is the penultimate song on album#or i say to myself Whenever I Eat A Noodle; I Like To Think About The Hwheat That It Used To Belong To
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Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this
#speculation nation#daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days...#im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard#im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn.#what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles#and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response#im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day#but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned#and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat.#im just... tired. im so very tired.#i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to#constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing)#and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed#if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work#at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think#get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes.#i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding#i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic#but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month.#losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though.#negative/
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rbing bc there were too many tags so it wouldn’t show in my art tag. LET ME SPEAK MY TRUTH ABT MY SHOW⁉️⁉️
++(also you guys should totally not pirate this tv series nobody cares about anymore on wcostream.tv)
THEY TOOK VOLTRON OFF NETFLIX.
#you guys are gonna listen to me talk about this show whether you like it or not#jk you can skip all this im just reminiscing#im an og voltron fan and started watching it in 2016 and it consumed my life until 2019#i remember watching season 8 for the first time and it was an experience#me & my friend had a sleepover and bought snacks and ordered pizza and watched season 8 and both cried at the end#rewatching season 8 i tried seeing it from another perspective bc i didnt like it much but after the 1st ep i remembered how awful it was#fav honorable moments tho:#the part when they go to the ship graveyard and the galra beast attacks the warlord and keith. SEASON 5 FINALE MENTIONED#pidge’s connection to the olkari.#WHEN THEY GO TO THE VOLCANO PLANET HELLO NO ARMOR(fan service)#the vlog episode is so silly + clear day#keith's beautiful smile in that one scene in the astral plane i will NEVER forget.#the original paladins i sobbed#THE ENDING WHEN ALLURA SORTA DIES HELL NAH HHELLNAH HELL NAH#the ending overall when the lions leave IM IN TATTERS#i would definitely accept lance and allura being together if there was more chemistry and not out of nowhere#also if allura actually showed she loved lance when they got together and if they didnt make lance's love for her his whole personality#lance and keith getting closer and possibly getting together post s8 >> but thats just my klance showing#i need lance's mom and krolia plotting to get them together and then realizing axca and veronica also got a thing going on#i moved on too fast i miss them so much#i’m drawing them again dw
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