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whumptober · 1 year ago

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Whumptober 2023

Welcome to Whumptober 2023 — the sixth year running!

COMPLETIONISTS/PARTICIPANT BADGES CAN BE FOUND HERE

To those of you who participated last year, welcome back! To everyone joining this year, welcome!

Please make sure to read the Event Info carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

And this years playlist can be found here.

There are 139 prompt options in total this year - this is including the alternatives list! A special thanks goes out to those who took part in our trope vote back in July. From the 1526 responses to our list of 223 tropes, we looked through the popularity results, as well as your honourable mentions, and were able to produce this years prompts list. Stay tuned, as we will be posting some of the results at a later date!

We’re very excited to see the community come together once more and be a wild, chaotic bunch of creators and consumers of whump. Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2023 Prompt List

No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”

Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.”

Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”

No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”

Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.”

Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.”

Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.”

Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”

No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.”

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”

No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.”

Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”

No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”

Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 11: “All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.”

Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?”

Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

No. 13: “It comes and goes like the strength in your bones.”

Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”

Flare | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”

No. 15: “I don't need you to help me I can handle things myself.”

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.”

Collar | Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

No. 18: “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened.”

Blindfold | Tortured For Information | “Hit them harder.”

No. 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”

Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: “People don’t change people, time does.”

Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.”

Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.”

No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.”

Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”

No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”

Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.”

Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”

Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.”

Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.”

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.”

Scented Candle | Troubled Past Resurfacing | “What happened to me?”

No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.”

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.”

Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”

Alternatives List:

Betrayal

Aftermath of Failure

Brass Knuckles

Decoy

Body Modification

Playing Cards

Examination

Hunting

Drugging

Shaking

Panic

Broken

Miscommunication

Lab Rat

Reluctant Whumper

Event Info & Rules

~ Please read our extensive event info posts before sending us an ask ~

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. The 'theme' of each day is the line of lyrics.

The prompts are merely to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is "flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be related to the 'spark' of a relationship. It's truly up to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day: there's lyrics, an object, a trope and a line of dialogue to choose from. We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2023 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(day number)

#lyric, #bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC, … (ironman, originalcontent, oc …)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #gore tw, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Add "tw" AFTER the trigger/content warning. )

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed the event. You do not need to post anything you have created, we rely on trust and we will not check this.

Questions not addressed in one of our many event info posts can be directed to this blog. We will not answer any questions that have been answered in the FAQs or rules already.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. How does this year’s prompt list work? What do I have to choose?

You can create something based on:

The overall theme/lyric of the day

Prompt 1, 2 or 3

One or several of the alternative prompts

A combination of the above

Q. Is [specific anything] allowed?

When in doubt: JUST DO IT!

Q. Do I have to do all 31 days?

Participate as much or little as you like! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.7, #radio silence). If you create works for 31 total theme days you will become a completionist. But apart from that, there are no repercussions if you don’t fill prompts for each day.

Q. Can I post early/late?

Yes, you can post whenever you want. We will only reblog posts during October, but you can use our prompts all year round. The day you post will only affect your probability of being reblogged.

Q. Will you reblog my post?

Due to the sheer number of content posted during Whumptober we can’t promise to reblog every single post. We will make a random selection trying to capture a wide variety of content. The following will increase your chances at being reblogged:

tag your post properly

post within 2-3 days of the theme you want to fill: if you fill the prompt for Day 1 your chances of being reblogged during October 1st to 3rd are highest and will go towards zero afterwards.

Q. What if I don’t understand a prompt/theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help with wild, unhelpful clarifications or brainstorming. That being said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation. Don’t take them too literally. For example: You can be choking on a cherry, someone else can choke you or you could be choked up on emotions, etc.

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gifset or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe.

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

Q. Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! You can post your own content wherever you like (or you can opt to not publish it at all). Additionally we’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. It can be accessed here. The tumblr blog @whumptober-archive is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle.

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes.

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the Whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If you’ve previously posted something that checks the boxes, we ask that you not include it retroactively for this current year. You can, however, add new chapters relating to one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, RPF, whoever you like. You can use the generic “whumpee” character or have specific ones.

Q. Does it have to take place in a specific fandom?

No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes, but it only counts once towards being a completionist.

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day’s prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

No, you can’t exchange prompts for different days. However, if all four prompts of a specific day make you uncomfortable, we have created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from. You can exchange any prompt with these, but please make sure not to use them twice.

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t have to (cross)post it to Tumblr or at all. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you.

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine. The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit.

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst/emotional whump focus ok?

Of course! We are not going to establish a threshold for whumpiness. If you think it’s whumpy enough, then it’s whumpy enough. It can be physical, psychological, emotional, or any combination of the three.

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What is whump?

Typically the genre includes situations where a fictional character is hurt, be it emotionally, psychologically, or physically. Fanlore provides information here.

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn’t whumpy at all, does that count?

If you don’t think your interpretation is whumpy, then it doesn’t count for Whumptober. Remember that whump comes in many forms, though, and that we don’t have a whump-checker or a threshold for how much whump needs to be included. If you think your interpretation contains enough whump to count, then it does.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we post the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time” so feel free to start creating early!

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. #gore tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want.

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the #whumptober2023 tag.

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, but please make sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies for whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord or come into our ask box.

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, use clear and descriptive tags.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

#whumptober2023 #whumptober 2023 prompts list #whumptober #prompts list #long post

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justanerdy-gal · 10 months ago

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"Do You Resent Me?" (Astarion x Tav)

-> pairing: Astarion x Tav -> content: fluff/angst -> summary: In which Tav wonders whether Astarion resents her for convincing him to choose to reject the Black Mass ritual and not Ascend. Full of angsty fluff.

-> notes: The finished version of the WIP I posted yesterday. Astarion & Tav draws all the angst and cheesy fluff out of me 🥹

——————

“Do you resent me?”

Astarion looks up, wearily, from the corner of the Elfsong Tavern room that they had been staying in for some time now.

“Darling….what would I have to resent you for…?”

You slowly walk over to his corner of the room, and sit beside him on the edge of the bed. You observe him as he turns his gaze over to the hands in his lap.

“It…just feels like…you may have made your choice because of…me.”

Astarion turns his head to look back at you, betraying nothing in those crimson eyes at the moment, but listening.

“If I wasn’t around….you would have been free to make the choice you always wanted,” you continued, your eyes glassing over as you ponder the thoughts that have been plaguing you since the moment Astarion made his choice in the Szarr palace.

“The freedom that you always craved… did I take that away from you?”

Astarion’s eyes widened as you made your declaration.

“You… think it wasn’t the right choice?”

“Not that,” you tried to clarify. “Maybe… maybe I don’t know what the right choice is. But what mattered is… your choice.”

“You trusted me. You trusted me with a choice that, in the end, goes back centuries…” your voice starts to shake. “A choice with consequences you must live with for…eternity.” You look up at him as tears finally threaten to pour from your eyes. “What right did I have, to ask you to sacrifice yourself to the shadows?��

Astarion stares at you as he ponders your statement. He looks away from you as he stares at the cracked, drying paint on the wall of the old room.

“I think about it every minute, every moment.” Astarion speaks slowly, softly. “I think about the colours of the city. The warmth of the rays at dawn, beckoning me towards the next day. I think about the sanguine hunger I have suffered for over 200 years, and how I could be free from that pain. Free from all limitations. And how that will never be now… once the parasite is destroyed.”

You look up at him in despair as your body threatens to let out a sob.

“And I think about�� how it would never be enough.”

It was your turn for your eyes to widen. His gaze had softened as his fingers move to entwine in your own.

“I see the colours through your eyes, through the stories that you tell me of your adventures. I feel the warmth through your skin as you lay beside me every night.”

“And your blood can sate me better than any power can.” You giggle as he smirks, softly wiping the tears from your eyes.

“Before you, before this nautiloid fiasco … I had no reason to want anything else but freedom and power. I only lived to escape what I was. I had everything to gain. And nothing to lose. So ofcourse, this Ascension seemed like an obvious choice.”

“But everything changed,” Astarion said breathily. “From the moment you wormed your way into my heart…you became a complication that I never expected. Suddenly, I had everything to lose.”

“I would have stayed,” you say thickly.

“I know you would,” Astarion says sadly, “but would you have been happy?”

“I probably would have been happy…happier than I was, for sure.” Astarion stares distantly at the wall as he speaks. “But where would that happiness end? What would sate me, if my happiness was dependent on power? I would have to take more, control more, be more…it is surely the fate that befell Cazador, that befalls all with power…more power than they know what to do with.” Astarion winces as he utters his late master’s name. “The need for power, for control, can never be sated. It would never be enough. Nothing would ever be enough.”

“But you, with me, here? That is enough. You are enough. We are enough.”

You pause as you ponder his words for a moment.

“Am I?” you whisper weakly as you stare at your entwined hands.

You feel the chill of his hands as they move up to hold your face tightly, and tilts your head up to look at him. The intensity in his eyes at that moment was like nothing you’ve ever seen on him before.

“Listen to me,” he says firmly, staring fiercely into your eyes, as if he was speaking through to your soul. “There is nothing in the world that I wouldn’t sacrifice to remain here by your side. You are my eternity. My mad love. Besides,” Astarion smiles as he stares into your eyes. “I still think it was the right choice, regardless. If I could go back and do it all over again, I’d make the same choice. Every time.”

Astarion’s words cause the tears that you were holding back to creep up to the surface, as your body begins to wrack with heavy sobs, as you let out the doubt and fear that you have been holding since you both learned that the Ascension was a thing – since you have contemplated that potential decision every minute of every day, since the moment Astarion asked you to help him, and you convinced him to give away that power, to save those souls, to save himself. Astarion pulls your head to his chest and holds you tightly as you shake against him.

“My darling, why do you weep? Don’t sell yourself so short. No one else has a heart like you. You’re the only one,” Astarion whispers into your ear.

“I love you,” you declare into his shirt, tears still staining the soft, white material.

“I love you too,” Astarion says, leaning backward, pulling you down with him until he was laying on his back, with your head resting on his chest, hands softly caressing your hair. “I can’t imagine another way I would want to spend the rest of my days, my love. I’m not afraid – not anymore. And especially not of our future.”

And that is how you both fell asleep, with the two of you in eachother’s arms and your dreams of the future in eachother’s hearts.

——————

My AO3 and Twitter 🙂

MASTERLIST

#baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #baldurs gate tav #baldurs gate 3 fanfiction #astarion fanfic #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic idea #astarion fluff #tav fanfic

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cy-cyborg · 9 months ago

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Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart

When a character in a story becomes disabled, they'll sometimes experience a trope that I like to call "the disabling change of heart". This is when the character goes through a massive change in their outlook, their personality, their goals or even roll in the story, specifically because they became (or are about to become) physically disabled. Sometimes, this will be in relatively small ways: the happy-go-lucky comedic relief character might become bitter, angry and jaded after getting into an accident that caused a spinal injury, or the severally depressed and nihilistic character might suddenly start acting more cheerful and hopeful, stating that loosing their leg has "put things into perspective and showed them what really matters". In other cases though, the impact is much larger, the heroic character you've been hearing about looses an arm thanks to the main character's actions, causing them to become consumed with anger and self-loathing which they take out on everyone else, eventually becoming an antagonist as they seek revenge for what the main character did to them. The morally grey or even villainous character is injured by their own scheme, giving themselves a permanent disability in the process, which prompts a change of heart and leads them to turn their lives around and become better people, maybe even deciding to team up with the heroes.

Now, having a character go through a personality and goal change due to a major life event, such as becoming physically disabled, isn't inherently bad. A lot of writers are told to tie major shifts in your character's development to major life events, because realistically, something like becoming newly disabled will at least impact how you view the world around you. I very frequently talk about how if I didn't loose my legs, I would have become a vastly different person, but the issues with this trope depends on how it's used and the reasons behind these developments, and whether or not the change suits the character in question.

Before we get into things, I would like to specify that in this post, I'm only going to be talking about how this trope is used with physical disabilities and other easily visible forms of disability. It does show up with characters who develop disabilities under the mentally ill and neurodivergent umbrellas, and is actually a bit more common than what I'm talking about today, but the specific ways its utilised are so different that it's more or less a separate trope, and one that deserves much more attention than I could give it here as this is already going to be a pretty long post. So for today, I'm keeping to it's use with physical and visible disabilities, and we'll talk about how this trope is used with neurodivergence and mental illness another day.

The main thing you need to be mindful of is ensuring that you, as an author, are not including your ingrained biases about disability into the reasoning behind the change. Let's look at one of the examples from before, an evil character who, after loosing their arm (because it's almost always loosing an arm for some reason) becomes a villain and wants revenge against the main character. In a story like this example, the character who became an amputee often views this new disability as something that has ruined their life. It's something that has caused them to suffer, and they want to make the main character (or whoever has "wronged" them) suffer like they did. Stories like this example portray disability as something that is not just horrible, but life-destroying, especially with villains who become all-consumed by the misery this disability has brought them. Many stories that utilise this version of the trope also often perpetuate the idea that if you become disabled, you'll have to give up all the things you love and your goals, even when this wouldn't necessarily be true for the character in question.

Let's say your character was a knight, and the main character cut off their arm in a training accident. obviously you can't be a knight with only one arm because you can't fight anymore, so they left their order. Now this character has become a villain and has found power that "makes up" for their disability, perhaps magic or some other force that doesn't exist in the real world, and are back to get revenge on the character for ruining their lives. Here's the thing though, the loss of a limb, or at least, the loss of an arm specifically, often isn't the career ender people think it is, even back then. In fact, there are many historical records of real amputees continuing to serve as knights and other similar military roles after loosing an arm or at the very least, continuing to fight in other ways. One such example was Götz of the Iron Hand, a mercenary knight who lost his arm to a cannon. Götz had fought as part of the Roman empire's military in 1498, but shortly after left to form his own mercenary company. He lost his hand in 1504 and continued his career as a mercenary with the help of an iron prosthetic capable of holding his sword and the reigns of his horse, among many other things such as writing, for another 40 years. Götz wasn't unique in this though, several suits of armour from the same time period have been found with integrated prosthetic hands, though the names of their owners are unknown. There was also Oruç Reis (aka Aruj Barbarossa), A privateer admiral who served the Ottoman Empire in and around the Mediterranean who lost his left hand - earning him one of many nicknames: Silver-Hand, thanks to the colour of his prosthetic. Oruç, like Götz, continued his career for several more years until he was eventually killed in 1518.

My point in bringing this up, is to highlight how important it is to double check that the reason your character's whole motivation for turning to villainy, isn't just based on your ideas about what a disabled person can or can not do. Actually double check it, research it, especially if it's important for your plot.

Even in the cases where the disability in question actually would stop someone from being able to do something, the incorrect assumptions can still occur and cause issues in different ways. For example, a character in a more modern setting who looses their arm due to an accident the main character was responsible for while serving in the military would be discharged, ruining the character's plan to become a general some day. This absolutely would be devastating for a character like that, and they realistically could struggle to adjust, both in terms of getting used to their disability and finding new goals for their life. They may well feel anger at the main character, however, if you are portraying just living with a disability, in the case of this example, living with an amputation as inherently "suffering" for no other reason than they are disabled, it is still perpetuating those really negative ideas about disability. I've said this a few times in other posts, but villains who are evil or even just antagonists purely because they're disabled or are trying to avoid becoming disabled is a trope all its own and one that is best avoided if you yourself aren't disabled, as even outside of spreading these negative ideas about life with a disability, it's just an overdone and overused trope.

But what about when this trope goes in the other direction? when you have an antagonistic or even just morally grey character who becomes disabled and this is the catalyst that turns them into a good guy?

For the longest time, I knew I usually disliked this version of the trope too, but I couldn't put my finger on why. With disability being the reason someone became a villain, the underlying reason it's there is often able to be boiled down to "I, the writer, think being disabled would be terrible and life like that is inherently suffering, so this character is angry about it," which is obviously an issue (the "inherently suffering" bit, not the anger). However, when a character becomes good due to becoming disabled, the reasoning is usually more along the lines of, "this is a big change in a character's life that has caused them to reconsider and revaluate things" (or at least, that's what I thought). This isn't bad, nor is it necessarily unrealistic. Hell, as I already said, I do consider my disability to be a catalyst that made me into who I am today. I also know plenty of people who, after becoming disabled later in life, did have a big change in how they viewed themselves and the world, and who consider themselves better people since becoming disabled. It's far, far from a universal experience, mind you, but it does happen. So why did this version of the trope still not sit right with me?

Well, I think there's a few reasons for it. The first being that there's a tendency for non-disabled people to think real disabled people are just incapable of evil deeds, both in the sense that they aren't physically capable of doing them (which is bad and not even always true for the reasons we already discussed), but also in the sense that there's this idea that disabled people are, for some reason, inherently more "good" and "innocent" - As if breaking your back or loosing a limb causes all evil and impure thoughts to be purged from the body. This is a result of many folks viewing disabled people as child-like, and thus attributing child-like traits (such as innocence) to them, even subconsciously. This is an incredibly common issue and something disability rights organisations are constantly pushing back against, as this mentality can cause a lot of unnecessary barriers for us. With how often I and many other disabled people are subjected to infantilization, I would be honestly shocked if it wasn't at least partially responsible for people thinking becoming disabled is a good reason to kick off a redemption arc.

This infantilization isn't unique to physically disabled people by the way, in fact it's way, way, more commonly directed at people with intellectual and developmental disabilities - or at least, people are more open about it, but as I already mentioned, how that is reflected in tropes like The Disabling Change of Heart is vastly different and deserves a post of it's own.

That's mostly just speculation on my part though, since that infantilising mindset does show up a lot in media, but not usually as part of this trope specifically.

However, it's not the only reason I wasn't a fan of it. When the disabling change of heart is used to fuel redemption arcs, I think, once again, that the disability itself being credited with causing the change directly is another factor. When this happens, it's usually because "it put things into perspective for me and showed me what really mattered."

This sounds better than our previous example on the surface, but stories that use this logic are often still portraying disability as an inherently bad and tragic thing, something so bad, in fact, that it makes all the other (legitimate) issues they thought were massive before seem so small by comparison. This is a type of inspiration porn: content made to make non-disabled people feel inspired or just better about their own situation. It's the mentality of "well my life is bad, but it could be worse, at least I'm not disabled like that!"

In a fictional story, this might look like an athlete character who dreamed of making it big so they could be famous and get out of poverty. They were a dick to anyone who got in their way but only because they were worried about not being able to make rent if they don't constantly win. One day though, they overworked themselves and got into a car accident on the way home because they were too tired, and now they're in a wheelchair and can no longer walk, which is (supposedly) absolutely tragic and way worse than anything else they were already going through. But they end up becoming a better person because it has put things into perspective for them. Yeah they were struggling to make ends meet, but at least they weren't disabled! Now that they are, they know they shouldn't have cared so much, because money doesn't matter when compared to not being able to walk, right?

As well as portraying disability in a negative light, these kinds of stories dismiss and diminish the other struggles or challenges the character is experiencing, placing the status of "not disabled" above all else.

There's also the fact that, when a lot of real people say their disabilities had positive impacts on their lives, they don't usually mean the disability itself is directly responsible for the change. There's exceptions of course but for myself personally, and most of the people I know who say they are better people because of/since becoming disabled, the disability has been more of a neutral catalyst than the actual cause of positive change. Meaning, it opened the door to allow those changes to happen, but it wasn't the direct cause. For me personally, becoming physically disabled at a young age didn't make me a nice person like people expect, I was still a little judgemental asshole for a lot of my childhood. However, because I was disabled, I had to travel a lot, initially because I needed medical treatment that my local hospital wasn't equip to provide, and later, because I started competing in disability sports. because of both of those things, I met people I never would have otherwise who made me reconsider what I'd been taught on a wide range of subjects, and made me question where those beliefs had come from in the first place. When I say my disability played a part in who I became, it wasn't because my disability itself change me, but it helped me meet people who were positive influences on me and my life. but when creatives make characters who experience arcs like this, they ignore this, again, defaulting to the "this was a bad thing that just put all my other problems into perspective" reasoning.

Some iterations of this trope also use disability as a kind of "karmic punishment" where the disability is portrayed as a rightfully deserved punishment for an evil character's deeds - usually something relating to the disability they acquired but not always. An example might look like an evil tyrant who punishes the rebels they captured by cutting off their hands. Eventually, this catches up with him, maybe the friend or a child of one of the rebels is able to capture the tyrant and cuts his hands off as payback so that he gets a taste of his own medicine, a taste of the suffering he imposed on others. Now facing at least one of the same realities of the people he subjugated, he realises the error of his ways. With some pressure from the main characters, he has a change of heart and surrenders himself, steps down to let someone else take his place, or perhaps he decides to start changing policies to be more in-line with these new morals until some other character usurps him, becoming an even bigger threat than the previous former tyrant.

Once again, stories that use a disability like this are still portraying the disability as an overall inherently bad thing, but there's the added layer at play in this example. The thing is, there are a lot of people in real-life who actually believe disability is a punishment from God. I remember one time when I was over in the US, an older lady came and sat down on the seat beside me on the bus and started asking me about my disability and specifically, how I became disabled. This isn't an unusual interaction, it happens fairly regularly whenever I use public transport, but on this particular day, the conversation suddenly shifted when I told her I became disabled when I was very young. This woman, despite the bus-driver's best efforts to get her to stop, ended up lecturing me for an hour and a half (during which time I couldn't move due to how my wheelchair was held in place) about how my disability was punishment from God for my parent's sins. She then tried to convince me to attend her church, claiming they would be able to heal me. And the thing is, this isn't an uncommon experience.

A lot of disabled people are targeted by cults using this same method: they'll convince people their disabilities are a punishment, make them believe they deserved it, that they just weren't good enough, but don't worry, if you repent and come to our specific church we can heal you. There was even a case in Australia recently that uncovered a cult called Universal Medicine, who taught that disabled people were reincarnations of evil people, and that being disabled in this life was their punishment, as well as that parents who have disabled children were being punished for other sinful behaviours. They were found to be operating a disability care service named Fabic that was being paid for by the NDIS, a subsection of the Australian government funded healthcare system that specifically aids disabled Australians by paying for and subsidising treatments, technologies (such as mobility aids) and other services relating to their disability. Fabic was found to be stealing excessive amounts of funding from their disabled clients under the guise of therapies and carer services, but was not actually helping their clients at all. Whether it's just taking advantage of them to get their money, or actually using this logic as a justification to mistreat them, this mentality of "disability is a punishment" actually gets real disabled people hurt or worse, and so seeing it come up in media, even if there is no ill-intent, can be very distressing and uncomfortable for disabled audiences.

So with all this being said, is the disabling change of heart a trope you should avoid in all it's forms and versions? No, but it does need to be handled with extreme care. I do think it should be avoided as a reason for a character becoming evil for the most part. If that really can't be avoided in your story though, at the very least, ensure that you foreshadow the change. Your happy little ray of sunshine, embodiment of sweetness and innocence type character probably isn't going to turn murderous and want revenge for an accident for example. A character who is likely to be driven to that kind of extreme of wanting revenge for their disability, so much so that they become a villain, probably already had at least a few traits that would predispose them to that line of thinking already, before becoming disabled. As for when it goes in the other direction, and you have a character becoming a good guy, avoid using the reasoning that "the disability put things into perspective for me". Instead, if you must use this version of the trope, use the character's new disability as the reason they encountered other people and situations that challenged their views, things they wouldn't have encountered otherwise. No matter the reason though, be very careful to avoid inspiration porn, and as always, try to find a sensitivity reader to give your story a once-over, just to make sure something didn't slip under your radar.

[Thumbnail ID: An illustrated image showing the same elf character twice. The picture of her on the left shows her laughing evilly, two tiny horns protruding through her brown hair. She is wearing a black dress and red shoes. On the right shows her in a yellow dress, sitting in a bright pink wheelchair with her head held eye and her eyes closed. The horns have been replaced with a glowing halo. In the centre is text that reads: "Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart." /End ID]

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poppadom0912 · 9 months ago

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Excuses

Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries

Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.

A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.

I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!

Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!

Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.

Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.

Since day one, you knew you hated her.

It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.

This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.

Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.

In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.

The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.

Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.

So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.

However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.

"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.

She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.

"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."

Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."

You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.

It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.

However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.

Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.

Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.

Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.

With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.

You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.

*****

It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.

That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.

Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.

They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.

In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.

Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.

"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.

"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.

"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."

"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."

Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.

"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"

"Go get her. We're done here."

*****

Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.

"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.

"It's Y/N."

Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.

"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.

"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."

"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"

You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.

Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.

It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.

"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.

And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.

"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."

Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.

"Hmm, maybe."

*****

Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.

Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.

He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.

Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.

Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.

One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.

This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.

It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.

"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"

The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.

"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"

This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."

The principal remained silent.

"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"

The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.

#onechicago #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #halstead sister #jay halstead #will halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead oneshot #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x reader #will halstead imagine #will halstead x sister!reader

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jordanswitches · 6 days ago

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i know, new audio so soon after the last one. @nyxtickled just had such a wonderful prompt for me, i couldn't resist. this one is a lot more dommy and nsft than the last one. kind of a brat taming vibe, though i definitely make it obvious i'm inexperienced in that area hahahah. i hope you guys love it, as always would loooove feedback (i.e. praise lol) in my asks. tell me how it made you feel <3

transcript under read more

i'll ask you one more time before i start. are you sorry? for what? for being so incredibly rude to me and calling me a fucker. you did, i don't know why you're even trying to deny it. you're so funny. you are literally smiling right now. you can't just say no, i'm looking at your face and you are smiling. shall we make it more obvious then?

this position is so perfect, i love sitting on your thigh. and it means i can feel how much you like it too. you have a wet spot. shall i press my knee into you? give you a little bit of pressure? maybe after i get your sides. aww look at you squirm. oh i guess it didn't matter if you're gonna move so much you grind down on me anyway. you are so naughty. i think you'll find i can pull away if i want to actually. looked like you were enjoying it too much. i want you to suffer for me. do you think you can do that? good, my little tickle slut.

as fun as that was, i wanna break you. i will. if you're so confident then you won't mind if tickle your feet? what? is it because i said tickle? i forgot you're like that. i thought you were such a strong brat? are you telling me all i have to do to make you flustered is tell you you're ticklish? aw, how embarrassing. are you embarrassed? you're blushing. you are. i can take a picture if you want. i should do that some time, take photos of all your best spots and post them and ask what people would do to them. do you like that idea? of course you do.

you've had such a nice rest, i think i need actually torture you now. what about if hold back your toes and i drag one nail up. and down. (laughing) cute. shall i add another nail? say please. okay, you only get one. i'm happy here. one nail trailing over your sole and to the ball and under your toes. lemme get between them. i know that pinky toe drives you wild. wouldn't it be so much worse if one finger was all it took to break you? i don't think your ego could take it. oh now you want more fingers. is that just too embarrassing? beg me then. say, "please, please tickle me, and make it bad". if you don't want to i'll just untie you. if you don't wanna be tickled that's fine. or you could just say it. are you going to?

you are so perfect. c'mere. if you keep scrunching your feet i'm gonna tickle the tops. what if i do the top and the bottom at the same time. ohhh no, your body is so confused, it doesn't know what to do. protect the bottom, protect the top, can't do both. lemme pull your toes back again. let me. good, see how sweet you can be? and now i can spider all up your soles. oh is it so bad? does it tickle? i know baby. you feel like apologising now? still no? what about this. if you apologise, i promise i'll tickle you until you think you'll pass out. does that sound good? yeah, you'd love that. so say sorry. oh what a good tickle slut. you have just given yourself such a gift. now spread your toes.

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 1 year ago

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TWST boys with a Diana! Reader?

The reader's a really and I mean REALLY popular and a captivating woman from Siodonna, many rumours were spreading of a beauty from Siodonna yet the TWST boys decided to ignore the rumours, taking them as only bluffs until they met the reader performing in the streets for the poor children. The boys quickly fell head over heels for they're kind nature, and alluring looks. The way those crystal like (Colour) eyes gaze into theirs sending their hearts pounding again their chest. Being lucky enough to marry the woman of their dreams was a big accomplishment but they're happiness was short lived when they found out the risk of the reader dying during childbirth, the TWST boys being selfish asked her to choose them over the child yet the reader didn't have the heart to do so and decided to give her life for the child, only doing as much as witnessing how they're child grew as a wandering spirit and visiting them in their dreams to interact with they're child. How would the guys react when their child(or children) mentioning they're mother's name when they've actually never met or heard of her?? <3

- M. Draconia ; V. Schoenheit ; R. Rosehearts ; L. Kingscholar ; I. Shroud ; L. Vanrouge

"I'm sorry for not choosing you, but I couldn't bare giving it up ( sacrificing an innocent life) either..."

- (Name)

SORRY IT'S BAD, I'M RUSHING THIS 😭😭

Mentioning Your Name | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Its an average day your child casually mentions some advice you gave. It takes them off guard and the problem with lovers as in love as they are suffering from your loss–this can be received very differently:

Malleus Draconia

“What did you say?”

“I said (Y/n) told me I should try harder to talk to you because your socially immature.”

“....when…when did they say this?”

“In my dream last night, I asked how I was supposed to get you to smile at me and they told me to be ins-st-i-dent?”

He remembers what you said to comfort him before the birth

And honestly if it hadn’t been for that and this child having your smile

He would’ve smited him long ago

But to hear that you’re still here in some capacity

He smiles more

Speaking into the quiet of the room

Practically serenading your lingering spirit

“Thats…just like them…”

Vil Schoenheit

“Wearing those two patterns is a travesty, we won’t be doing plaid with polka-dots–”

“Noooo! B-but I said I would!”

“...To who?”

“To (Y/n) of course I was telling them all about how I’d wear them-”

“Wait wait what did you say?”

He doesn’t believe that you’re meeting in their dreams

Its more than likely one of his close friends slipped up while babysitting

And now they’ve taken the name of their mother for some imaginary friend

Needless to say he’ll get to the bottom of this

Even if it takes a forceful kind of truth serum

“(Y/n)...my half is dead…so whoever they’re speaking to is something else.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“My RULE IS ABSOLUTE TO YOUR ROOM!”

“(Y/n) would hate you so much!?”

“H-how do y-you–!”

“They said I should be free! That I should be allowed to play with others!”

“Where?! Where did you hear that?!”

He thought that he wouldn’t need to be hurt again

But here you were showing up in your child’s dreams

But since you’ve left him…what do you words mean now

“You’re not appearing to me and you aren’t here to parent…therefore you’re words barely scrape the height of a suggestion.”

Leona Kingscholar

“(Y/n) doesn’t think I’m weak!”

“WHAT?!”

“THEY said I’m plenty strong and that you don’t know everything!”

He’ll continue to lock the child away

Scratching at his post some interloper as he thinks about what his child has said

“Even across the grave you’re fighting me…can’t do much from where I’m at now can I?”

Idia Shroud

“Papa I made my own drone…”

“Mmmm.”

“Uhm and uh (Y/n) says that you should maybe look at me when I show you mystuff so…”

“...”

Is floored

Since your departure he’s been torn with hating this child and eliminating anyone who interacts with them

So consumed with grief he shuts himself in his workshop and watches his child relentlessly

He knows them well in fact he’s sure he loves them

but he can’t stand to speak to them without wanting to cry

So this is all the more painful to him and in his desire to reach out he might end up inventing something meant to capture your wandering spirit

“Just you wait (Y/n), I’ll have you soon.”

Lilia Vanrouge

“Just trust Papa on this you stay inside, my little bat.”

“(Y/n) says you should let me outside more.”

“Oh yeah they really–said…that?”

“Yeah! And that you need to properly comb out my hair you can’t leave it a tangled mess.”

“Hahaha yeah.”

He believes in ghosts, well he knows they exist

So he believes thats what that is about

And if thats the case than maybe if he suggests somethings for your kid to recite

Maybe he can still reach out to you

“Hey! Hey! Maybe the next time you see them can you tell her how much Daddy loves her?”

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lif3lessb0dy · 4 months ago

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₊˚⊹ ೀ lads boys; xavier & zayne

╰┈➤ headcanon/scenario; they saw how reader is struggling with her mental health

cw; self-harming(recovering), scars, depression in xavier's part, feeling not enough because of scars in zayne's part, cursing

a/n; if any of this topics is triggering you do not read! I kinda based some of this on my personal experience from the past so I did everything I could to make this accurate, if you feel like reading this will be harmful to your journey in any way feel free to skip it

i saw @chryssikyu 's post and decided that I can write something about it since I haven't found anything like that here.

╰┈➤ XAVIER!

you were a team so he could watch how your behavior is changing

he was really worried, he wanted to ask if everything is fine

he was headed straight to your apartment, prepared the questions in his head, he was afraid that it would seem awkward, you were just work partners after all

he knocked at your door

you opened but after you realized that it was xavier you just wanted to start crying again, you looked like a total mess, you didn't want to make him worry about you but it was too late

„can i... can i come in?” he asked quietly

„yeah, of course” you wiped your wet cheeks with your sleeve once again.

you were nervous asf

after some minutes of normal talk he wanted to just ask about his suspicions

you started crying and opened up about your recovery and depression episodes that lately hit you badly, you told him how you were feeling about your job, friends and life in general

he saw your old scars on thighs but didn't say anything, he waited to see if you would like to talk about it, he didn't want to force you to do this, especially now

you had such a bad mental breakdown that you have told him everything.

„(y/n) if you ever have such a bad time again that you want to return to self-harm, come to me. we don't even have to talk if you don't want to, if you ever feel like that again just come to me. or I will come to you, I don't want you to suffer in silence, it's not a shame to ask for help or support.” he looked at you „you are so much more than what you think, i don't want you to sit in the dark of your room crying and thinking you're useless, because you're not. I know you probably think my words are a joke, but I really... I really like you so I want you to be happy, I would do anything to make sure you don't experience these bad moments alone”

you didn't expect this. you expected disgust or laugh. why was he so nice and caring? in your eyes you were just a burden to him on a missions but he still cared about you.

„I also understand that you will need your alone moments, I just want you to know that you can count on me.” he gently grabbed your hand. „we're more than just a team, I care about you and wish you the best”

╰┈➤ ZAYNE!

it was your first date with him, you still couldn't believe that it was really happening

you wanted to dress nicely but after you saw yourself in the mirror you just started crying. no matter what dress or skirt you were wearing you still felt ugly. you felt like the scars on your body make you worse.

you called zayne and came up with some excuse just to stay at home. you really felt terrible, you just wanted to lay in bed all day and cry. you recently started therapy again because you knew that you were feeling worse and worse every day.

zayne knew that something was off. you were so excited, but suddenly you were sick and couldn't go? he knew that you were 100% healthy because he was your doctor after all, he didn't notice any signs of illness at yesterday's routine checkup

he decided to go to your apartment to see what was going on. he gently knocked and waited for an answer, after a while you opened the door.

„za-zayne?” he caught you off guard, you quickly pretended that you were coughing. „what are you doing here?”

„I wanted to examine you since you're not feeling well”

you felt guilty that you made him worry about you. you sighed and knew that you needed to tell him the truth.

„zayne... listen, i-i'm...” you started whispering.

„not sick?” he raised an eyebrow. „can I come in?”

you nodded twice. you felt embarrassed because of your lie.

„what's wrong, (y/n)? did something happen? or you just... didn't want to go? yo-you could tell me if you didn't want this date” he said calmly, almost like he thought that it's all because of pity towards him, well, he was the one who asked you out, he was worried that you agreed because you didn't want to make him feel bad

„no! i wanted it, but... it's really complicated” you avoided his gaze, not sure how to say what you were thinking. „since you're my doctor you know that...” you paused, your psychologist helped you learn how to talk about your feelings, but you were still afraid.

„know what?” he came closer and grabbed your hand. „don't be afraid, (y/n), you can tell me everything and I will not judge you” zayne said sincerely.

„do you think i'm worse than others because of my scars? do they make me ugly?” you looked straight into his eyes

„what?” he was completely shocked. „I have never thought like that and I never will. these scars are a sign of how much you've been through, that's the past, we can't change it, but we can do anything so you don't have to make new ones.” there was no insincerity in his gaze, only pure love. „I don't only care about how your body looks like, I see you as a wonderful, brave person who has a good heart. you're so pretty for me, some scars won't change it” he lifted your hand and gently pressed his lips against it.

„I wouldn't want people to start talking bad about you because of my...” he didn't let you finish, he cupped your face and ran his thumb over your lips.

„do you think I care about what they think when I have you by my side? you're a wonderful person, everyone admires how nice and helpful you are, often after you visit me in the hospital, people would talk about how beautiful you are, (y/n), let me show you how I see you, don't look at yourself like you're the worst piece of shit. i know it's not that easy, i'm glad you're continuing with therapy, and if there's anything i can do to show you how much i care about you – i will do it.”

#im going insane #love and deepspace #love and deepspace zayne #xavier love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace x reader #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace headcanons #love and deepspace scenario

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not-magdi · 1 year ago

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Face Masks

Summary: Pablo discovering the wonderful world of face masks

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x fem!reader

Warnings: none just pure fluff

Words: 534

Skincare was extremely important to you. You enjoyed having a nightly routine, which helped you stay calm and sane despite your hectic life with your boyfriend, Pablo Gavi.

You have your serums and your creams all nicely lined up on the bathroom shelf. All organized by colours and sizes, it's your little happy place.

Pablo didn't understand it at first, not getting behind the idea of standing an hour in the bathroom, smearing different things on your face. But after you explained their importance to you, he accepted it. He still doesn't understand it but learns to live with it.

You're currently standing in your holy bathroom, applying a face mask to your face, as you feel two hands snake around your waist.

"When are you coming to bed amor.?"

"Soon, I'm almost done."

Dipping his finger in the container, he plays with the mask and draws a disgusted face.

"And you put that on your face because you want to?"

You chuckle and nod your head, finishing applying it to your face. Then, an idea sparked in your mind.

"Hey, can I apply some to your face?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Come on, pleaseeeeee?"

You try to give him your best puppy-dog eyes, and not surprising you at all, it takes exactly one minute for him to budge.

"Fineee, but my face better be as soft as a baby's butt after this"

You celebrate your success for a second before you beckon him to sit on the counter before you. Finding the most stupid headband you own, you put it in his head.

Taking a step back, you admire how your boyfriend looked with his hair all put-back. You started to laugh at the sight before you. He looked like a little kid with his little frog headband.

"You having fun, cariño?"

"Yes, very much."

Composing yourself, you start to apply the mask to his face. Which was harder than you might think because that little shit kept trying to move away all the goddam time.

"Amor, that's cold!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Beauty is pain, baby. Beauty is pain."

After you finished applying the mask to his face, you took a good look at your artwork. It was the cutest thing you have ever seen in your entire life.

Pablo's face, completely covered in a white face mask, with a pout on his lips, was a sight that was now permanently burned in your brain.

Grabbing your phone, you take a photo of this sight to post it afterwards.

"Really, you gonna take a photo of my suffering?"

"Yes, now come here. I wanna take a selfie too."

You take a few selfies and cuddle up on the bed to wait until the masks are dry.

"Amor, are they supposed to burn?"

"Uhh, yeees?"

You let out a sigh of relief as you hear the timer go off. Dragging Pablo to the bathroom, you wash the mask off his face, chuckling at his surprised face, when he feels how soft his skin got.

"Dios mio, it's so soft!"

"I know, face masks are awesome right?"

"Sí, cariño, we need to do this more often OK?!"

Laughing, you nod your head, kissing his cheek, happy how excited he got over face masks.

your_username

Liked by pedrigonzáles, mikkykiemeney and 430.000 others

your_username couldn't convince him to keep the headband 😂

tagged: pablogavi

pablogavi: love you ❤️ and my soft skin

pedrigonzáles: Stylisch hermano 😂

⎮pablogavi: Ey, your skin is gonna thank you afterwards

pablitooogavi: Not Pablo being obsessed with face masks 😂

⎜liked by pablogavi

mikkykiemeney: How did you get him to do that?!

⎜your_username: I bribed him with food

user7325384: Hahah, I love them

fcbarçalover: Couple goaaalllllsss!!

gaviisthebest: If they break up I'm gonna need therapy

⎜liked by your_username

#pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi oneshot #pablo gavi x you #gavi x reader #pablo gavi icons #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi #gavi x you

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balkanradfem · 5 months ago

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The christian side of tumblr found a post where I made a little joke about how religion puts women into servitude and it's going around gathering bible quotes and arguing whether this is about christianity or other religions x_x I never thought this day would come.. I didn't think christians were on here. And even though the majority of people arguing are christians, I never wrote down 'christianity', I meant all abrahamic religions.

I'm itching to go argue but I know deep in my heart there is nothing to be gained. These people are eager to mock and personally attack whoever is disagreeing with them and that is not a honest intellectual discussion that I crave. I think if you're religious you just have to avoid thinking things like 'why is that so' and 'isn't that awfully convenient' and 'what if this promised thing fails to materialize' because once you start having those thoughts, the entire thing falls apart.

I remember being 15 and realizing that the christian god has no actual use of us, no point in caring about us whatsoever, and no incentive to pay attention to what we do or don't do, but humans very much have a need to believe in the higher power that works to their personal advantage, and that there's someone 'up there' who will make things alright for them, that they have a higher purpose and that if they follow certain rules it will pay out. And this was enough for me to figure out that god didn't create humans, but humans created god, because humans have a need of a god, while god has no need or use for humans at all.

It was only later when I learned about feminism that I realized it wasn't only that, but that it was specifically made to control, exploit and oppress women, praising them for endless servitude, sacrifice, submission and platitude, all while consistently telling them they're filled with sin and never good enough. It's now ghoulish and bizarre to me that the symbol of their faith is a m*n being brutally tortured, that what we feel is holy is endless suffering and pain and death. We're told to aspire for that. That has nothing to do with spirituality, nothing to do with human nature or healthy and happy human lives. It's a worship of death.

There are promises that religious people make towards women, to make them believe it's a path towards true love, or endless rewards for being 'faithful' and 'pure' or a life where they feel safe from disasters, safe from being abandoned and betrayed. There's nothing in life that can guarantee that. Religion can however, offer certain people a community, it can provide services where you come and listen to stories, and stories come with morals (convenient and confusing morals, but people love engaging with moral-type stories and feeling they've learned something), it provides rituals and celebrations that cultures have integrated in their life (after it destroyed the original rituals and celebrations, but we don't talk about that), and it can provide a common ground of understanding for people (sadly the common ground is that women exist to serve and that this is natural). Sometimes it also provides a feeling of superiority for some people, enabling them to mock, humiliate and patronize others for their 'lack of religion'.

So I understand there are community related reasons a person might feel safer within a religion and having this common ground and community, common beliefs, familiarity and stories, rituals and celebrations, it doesn't come off as a horrible thing, especially when the majority of the culture does it. But other things it brings are painful for women, and often hidden. Encouraging hidden suffering, sacrifice, servitude, centering torture and death, and admiration of torture and death, instead of celebrating nature, life, the world we live in and how we interact with it. Centering males as creators when everyone alive was created by women. Dismissing wars, rape, terrorism, weapons of mass destruction, genocides and male brutality, while endlessly shaming women for having feelings and not doing a good enough job pleasing the violent males. And generally making a hell for women when they have any thoughts about sexuality or lust.

I know me writing about it here will not have any effect on people personally attacking me for being ignorant and uneducated, but it feels good to write down the thoughts I've been having all day! Being forbidden from thinking in certain direction, forbidden from questioning my own beliefs, is something that plagued me for a big part of my life, and I will not have it anymore. I can say 'this is awfully convenient' when religions declare that m*n are leaders and women are supposed to follow and serve. I can say that putting up statues of a m*n dying in torture is fucked up and morbid. I can say that making me believe that I would go to hell, for not following every order I've been given, is a horrid thing to do to a female child. And I'm happy and grateful that I can think and say whatever I want, without any threat of damnation ever looming over me.

#religion #radical feminism #radfem #religion critical #misogyny in religion

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cinnamonest · 21 days ago

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hope u and your loved ones are okay :( wishing you and everyone affected the best ❤️

Sorry for the delay in responses and posting, I was in the hospital (again) (and unrelated to the flood, just an issue that hadn't subsided from the last visit last week).

If you have money to give I would very much prefer it go to the people who need it much more than I ever could, there's donation links here.

To be honest I am not okay on a psychological level. The whole thing has me so angry.

Now that I'm back to normal and out and about, I've heard so many horror stories from the grapevine. So many people are missing, and at this point families are having to accept that missing people aren't coming back if they haven't already.

The financial aid is a disgrace, and as aforementioned, the FEMA people are impeding help and otherwise just loafing around. We just want them gone.

Then as for the two people whose literal job is caring for this country — POTUS said like a day after the incident, on camera, "they're happy, they've gotten everything they need" while we still had people dying of dehydration on their rooftops and countless families left homeless.

Harris showed up, took a publicity photoshoot holding some donation items, then left to go drink beer on an uppity talk show like she's channelling the spirit of Nero himself.

This has been one of the most grotesque acts of US presidential negligence and dishonesty in some time, and once more of these people start getting internet access again I have no doubt a lot more will be exposed.

Now the people are just left to pick up the pieces by themselves and start over. The media has largely moved on already, and every major news outlet has drastically downplayed just how bad the destruction is. Some people on social media are celebrating it. I had to unsubscribe from an environment conservation group I followed because they published a newsletter literally lying about FEMA. It all feels so deliberate.

Bush was dragged through the mud for the rest of his career for his response to Katrina in 2005, yet he did far more and responded far more quickly. Our current leaders can wait 48 hours to acknowledge the situation, do essentially nothing, and no one seems to care, no one is holding them accountable.

I'm just very angry and having trouble moving on with life. Those two have already brought so much suffering to my community the past few years, then this happens and they can't even do a good job of pretending to care.

And I can't really do anything about any of it, which makes it worse, it festers. This bitterness is a feeling I would not wish on anyone.

#$750 while they send billions to the border and the fucking IDF is the sort of audacity we used to behead monarchs over 💀

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clericofgale · 11 months ago

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Spoilers for Patch 5 and the whole game.

I posted my thoughts about the new ending Gale got in patch 5 on Reddit first, but I might as well post it here with some revisions. I'll say it, I love the god Gale ending. But it is NOT his good ending to me. Before I would never have pursued it, but now it is tantalizing to say the least. I'm into it though Gale the mortal is still my preference.

"Gale Dekarios cuts a poor figure next to the wizarding prowess of 'Gale of Waterdeep. You like so many things about me I'd have sooner discarded…"

By ascending Gale, you are killing Gale Dekarios. The nerd that hits on you in front of everyone while you're covered in zombie blood, procced to infodump an entire tangent to complement you, and yet somehow stick the landing to hit you with the most romantic poetry you've ever heard. A sensitive man who wears his emotions on his sleeve and wants to make the world a more beautiful place. An artist of the weave and a poet. The owner of the most overbearing tressym in the world. The moment the spell was complete, Gale Dekarios died and Gale the divine was born.

Even then, why is god Gale now so enticing to me unlike ascended Astarion? Because he loves you. He wants you by his side as an equal. It's actually sweet and romantic, just like all of Gale's romance is. I'm nothing if not a sucker for a romance.

"Follow my Lead" "Show me more. Show me it all." "I want you to seize the crown and make us a new world"

BeMyGod is the name in the data file for the boat scene where Gale asks you if you'll be with him when he seizes the crown. I know file names can be arbitrary, but if you agree to his proposal, you really are asking Gale to be your god. It's so easy to say yes. You're in the stars, Gale says I want to show you so much more, but it's not worth it without you. All you need to do is say yes. You're angry at Mystra who demanded so much of Gale, caused him such suffering and won't lift a finger to help. So You say yes. You love him. He loves you.

When Gale ascends, even in 6 months he is a different entity. The devs indicate: "His posture/demeanor here should feel slightly more aloof/detached than the regular Gale - he's been immortal for six months, his ego is as powerful as his magic. The real Gale's insecurities still lurk beneath his godlike confidence, as does his love for the player, but this is clearly a Gale setting out on a darker path."

The Gale here is a twisted version of the one we loved. His flaws are worse, he good traits have mostly disappeared. Namely his kindness and tolerance to deprecating humor. He no longer tolerates any perceived slight or jab. He doesn't let go of his bitterness towards Mystra. His ego is large yet fragile. You saw a glimpse of it at the ritual circle scene if you succeed in upstaging him in magic. Now it's only gotten worse. Yes even his insecurity. If you rejected him after accepting the proposal, Gale says this.

Tav: No, I think it's the end. What happened to the man I once loved? Gale: He's the god he deserves to be. I achieved everything we hoped I would, and still I'm not good enough for you?

He's also lonelier than ever. His last 6 months were in isolation, with nobody he could trust while dealing with the crown and celestial politics. Immortals don't really have friends. They have allies and lovers. He stops talking to his mother who was so dear to him. He develops a spell to polymorph people into Tara, his oldest friend who rejects him after ascension. He then develops a spell that summons Shadowdark ale and forces people to dance and be happy, just like the vignette he told you about the Yawning Portal. The third spell is Power word: Ruin. he's finally back to speaking death into being with a single word, just like he used to.

Gale wanted to be a god to make a better world, but now he's a neutral god answering prayers from any alignment. He doesn't care if they are Thayan wizards aiming for lichdom or unscrupulous Amnian merchants. Ambition is a neutral idea. Ambition also drives healers to develop a cure. For adventurers to slay monsters.

What's the most noticeable remaining good trait in Gale? Gale still loves you. He's much nicer to you if romanced. He refuses to be with you if you don't go with him because he doesn't want to hurt you. He admires your good heart if you want to honor the pact with Raphael. He calls you my love just like before. He will fulfill the promise sealed that night in the astral sea. All you have to do is say yes. And the ascension cinematic is a callback to the romance scenes from before.

"Follow my lead. Close your eyes. I have so much more to show you."

And you know what. I'll go with you. Even if we will eventually lose both our humanity in our folly, and dreams become nightmares. Even if I'll come to regret that night when I said yes to the mortal you, I don't want you to be lonely. Where ever you go, I'll go. You'll always have me. And I'll always have you.

As God Gale would say… "A toast then, to our myriad ambitions. May we each get what we deserve."

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #god gale #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #Gale thoughts #Love makes fools of us all #Frankly I think the fact his love is genuine is genius #1k+ words

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jeding-png · 3 months ago

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I thought I was ready not to cry or how chapter 159 had tricked me.

I read the new chapter twice. I watched each frame twice. I even read that chapter of the novel twice today.

And you know what, dear readers? TO HELL WITH ALL OF IT!

Warning! This chapter is mostly about Derrick.

A familiar face, right? At least for me, because my mother also got angry and tore the leaves out of the notebook when I wrote incorrectly something.

But here Derrick is scolded not because of bad handwriting, but because he dared to question Winter's involvement in the investigation, while Derrick himself was removed from it.

And you yourself know that the phrase "I love you more than the child of my best friend!" is very pleasant, but not always true. :^

"If Marquis Verdandi not give the antidote, we would already be preparing for the funeral!"

However, the Duke notices some very strange behavior in Derrick. His eldest son's trembling body, a confused look and muttering that this is impossible.

Remember how Reynold disclosed that he had a strange dream, as if Penelope was beating Ivonne? On the eve of the conversation with that btch, Derrick also had a similar dream!

Okay, you can stop and enjoy this image for a few minutes. The main thing is to remember that this is not the reality you dream about. I will wait for you..

Again, the feeling of déjà vu, again the scene in the head about how Ivonne must always suffer at the event that is connected with Penelope.

According to unofficial information, the duke thought that Derrick was drunk, so he quickly asked him to leave the office so that his carpet would not be damaged.

Then it was something like this:

Duke Eckhart: Derrick, my son... you better go to your room to rest...

Derrick: But...

Duke Eckhart: STFU, small scum This is an order.

Do you remember this woman? You know... the one who didn't immediately listen to Penelope at the beginning of the manhwa? Yes, the head maid. Well... she's also brainwashed! :D

So this old lady told Derrick that Ivonne was single and looking for the young duke. No, Derrick didn't go to her right away! Can you imagine? His body did not listen to him (because he had problems with his head), so he left.

Okay..... now....

🔊

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—!!

DERRICK IS SMILING! I THOUGHT I'D SEE THIS IN A FEW YEARS!!!! AND LITTLE IVONNE. LITTLE IVONNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

🔇

Phew... yes, thanks. Sorry, I can't help myself when I see these two together... when they're children... when they're not two bastards.... *sobs*

As you can see in the second photo, this girl is holding a piece of mirror that she is brainwashing with. Although her smile scares me.

A sweet voice full of hesitation and hope and emotion when Derrick told them to go to Penelope's coming of age together. Tears of happiness and worry about whether they would disturb Penelope... that's all Derrick remembers, not the blue glow of the artifact.

There was a very nice and interesting frame, as the many fragments show Penelope and the various scenes that Derrick remembers.

"Young duke."

...............................................🔇

Of course, our Penelope is beautiful, but we definitely remember chapter 19 and we definitely remember that she looked different.

Derrick, wth? But at least the blue glow in this dude's eyes is going away, thanks.

You know, you can skip reading this post because you'll be looking at Callisto flying sitting by Penelope's bed.

It is literally the sun. The sun at the end of this chapter. The sun after all the sad moments. The sun that will finally crush us with his words.

Callisto is beautiful. Even in the blood of his loved one, but the way he listens carefully to the doctor about Penelope's condition, and then gently takes her hand in his... the touch of his lips to Penelope's palm... I'm melting.

But it seems that you need to open the window or vacuum the dust. Here is a sick person, guys-!

Suffocated for a few more chapters before the end of the season... and we'll be left heartbroken and red-eyed.

G-good news! The next chapter begins with Callisto and Penelope's moment! ^^'

#villains are destined to die #death is the only ending for a villainess #death is the only ending for the villainess #death is the only ending for the villain #manhwa #vadd #vadd spoilers #vadd new chapter #vadd novel spoilers #vadtd #ditoeftv #derrick eckhart #ivonne eckhart #duke eckhart #penelope eckhart #callisto regulus #reynold eckhart #winter verdandi

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samcrosfaith · 5 months ago

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A LITTLE LOST 𝟬𝟮| 𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙣𝙚𝙬𝙨

Happy Lowman x fem!oc

You can find the introduction chapter and chapter one here, just click on it. You can also find them, and all the future chapters, in my masterlist {pinned post!}

Let me know if you wanna be tagged in future chapters!

a/n; I promise Happy will finally appear in the next chapter. I just had to get this story started in a somewhat logical way. I hope you enjoy! 🤎

word count; 2900

IT WAS TWO DAYS LATER, two days after Juice and Jax made a horrifying discovery, when four speechless men stood across the street from the burger restaurant, shock and fascination etched into their faces.

"Shit man, that's creepyᅳ and it takes a lot to freak me out", Tig spoke first, his hands prepped on his hips, eyes covered by dark sunglasses. "Death seems prettier than everᅳI'd definitely tap that."

"What the hell, man?" Jax' face twisted in disgust, he snapped his head to the side to glare at Tig. "It's still Hap's Old Lady, have some respect."

"Did he ever have respect?" Juice asked from the left, a sigh leaving his lips. But for a brief moment the slightest grin crossed his features. "I don't think he knows the word respect when there's someone with two legs and a hole he could use."

"Hey, we don't talk about women like that." Tig smacked the back of Juice' head, shaking his head as if he hadn't started it. "Have some respect."

"Boys, enough", Chibs' thick Scottish accent interrupted the little teasing game, earning a grateful look from Jax as his serious gaze landed on the three men. "What d' we do now? Go inside and talk t' her? Juicy? Did ye' check her records?"

"I did", the Puerto Rican nodded, not exactly enthusiastically as he tilted his head to the side. "No one by the name of Josephine Lowman works hereᅳ but a Josephine O'Connell."

"That's her maiden name", Jax thought aloud, rubbing a hand down his face as he let out a deep sigh. "What the hell is this? She was declared dead. Hell, Happy saw her, checked for himself because he didn't believe the doctors."

"Since she's officially declared dead, tha' explains why she uses her maiden name", Chibs also thought out loud, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared thoughtfully through the large window into the burger restaurant, still fascinated by watching someone who was actually dead. "We need t' find out how that's possible, what really happened t' Josy."

"How? We can't just ask her", Juice stated matter-of-factly, uncertainty flashing in his brown eyes. All he wanted was to talk to Josy, to hug his very much alive best friend, to tell her how glad he was that she was still here. "Besides, I can't believe she would ever do this to Happy; letting him suffer and allᅳ that's not like her at all."

"Well, she didn't recognize me, which means she must've suffered some kind of memory loss", which was the only logical explanation in Jax' eyes.

"Or she just faked her death", Tig said dryly as he took off his sunglasses, shrugging his shoulders. "We're going in there now and talk to her."

"Tig!" Jax called after the man, but the man with the black curls was too determined and already halfway across the street, which gave the others no choice and practically forced them to follow him, which all three did with a shake of their heads.

The bell above the door rang as the four bikers entered the restaurant and attracted different glances. Glances that they had long been used to. They looked around carefully until Josy finally appeared, with a sweet smile on her lips that everyone could still remember.

"I know why Hap fell in love with her", said Chibs, without sounding creepy in any way. It was no secret how beautiful Josy was.

"Yeah, she really was a jackpot", Juice agreed wistfully, clearing his throat as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "Or still is..apparently."

It was so strange to see the young woman alive, and yet it was a huge relief, a shock in a good way.

As the four men stood in the middle of the restaurant, still considering how exactly they should address Josy, she was already heading towards the small group, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Can I help you?", she asked, polite as always. "If you're looking for a table, I can offer you one over there", she added, spinning around to point to the free table.

"You can help us, darlin'", Jax began, trying his best to hide his fascination as he spoke to the redhead. "Can you give us five minutes of your time? We have a few questions."

"Uh..Iᅳ I'm working right now." The redhead clutched the menu card to her chest, swallowing nervously. Why did four bikers want to talk to her? "Maybe our manager can help?"

"No, we need t' talk to ye', lass." Chibs stepped forward and placed a reassuring hand on Josy's shoulder, but removed it quickly when the young woman tensed up. "Sorry, sweetheart", he apologized sincerely. "We just have t' figure somethin' out, ye' know? It won't take more than five minutes."

"We really don't want to cause any trouble, we just want to talk." Juice sent a warm smile in Josy's direction, also stepping a little closer. "Would you give us a moment?"

Somehow the redhead managed to relax at the younger man's smile but she didn't know why. But what she did know was that she should be much more intimidated, much more worried, about the fact that four men from a biker club wanted to talk to her.

Were they old clients from her dad? Maybe they had hired him as lawyer and her father managed to piss them off somehowᅳ which wouldn't be the first time Arthur had angered someone to the point they were seeking for some kind of revenge.

But if there was one thing Josy wasn't, it was judgmental. Her sweet nature, her kindness, would probably, hopefully, always stay a part of her.

"Okay", she said finally, exhaling loudly. Apparently it really did seem important and her curiosity was piqued. "Five minutes, that's all I can do."

"Thanks, lass", Chibs nodded sincerely, as did the other three men. "Maybe we should sit down for tha', I think tha' would be better for all of us."

As if everything wasn't confusing enough already, an uneasy feeling was now brewing in the pit of her stomachᅳ a strange feeling that she couldn't quite shake off.

Josy, her beautiful freckle-covered face framed by her ginger strands, nodded slightly before leading the small group to the free table in a quiet corner and waited until everyone had slid into the booth to take a seat.

Pulling a chair from another table, she placed it in front of the table and slowly plopped down onto it, asking her colleague, who had just scurried past with a slightly confused look, to take over her tasks for a moment.

"Are you okay?", asked the brunette, her voice lowered as she placed a protective hand on Josy's shoulder.

"She's fine, doll", Tig winked with his typical smirk while his eyes checked out the beautiful woman. "I'd feel even better if you sat down too."

"Tig", Jax warned, glaring at the man once again. "Not now."

"Creep", the brunette scoffed; in contrast to Josy, she had a quick tongue.

Clearly amused, Tig raised his hands in the air. "I'm sorry, doll, sometimes I can't keep my mouth shut when I see a pretty face."

"Oh my God, here we go", Juice muttered under his breath, only able to shake his head at Tig's boldness.

"That's enough", Chibs grumbled, a certain vibration in his voice as he saw how uncomfortable and uncertain Josy's expression suddenly seemed. "I'm sorry, lass. My friend here can't control himself sometimes."

"It's okay", the redhead murmured before giving her colleague and friend a reassuring look. "I'm okay, thanks Summer."

"Good." The brunette shot the men a warning look, each and every one of themᅳ although she sheepishly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear at the Puerto Rican, who gave her an apologetic smile before her features turned hard again and she was pointing a scolding finger at them. "Keep your hands to yourself, all of you!"

Josy watched her friend with a small smile, grateful for her boldness, before she looked back at the men. "What could four bikers want from me? How about one of you finally gives me an explanation?"

"Nothing would please me more, darlin'," Jax winked as he shot her his signature smile, his broad shoulders sinking against the orange cushion of the seat. "Your name is Josephine, right?"

"You know my name?" Swallowing the forming lump in her throat, Josy shifted nervously in her seat. "How? I don't know any of you."

"Yes, yes ye' do, lass", Chibs explained with a sigh, his tone calm and reserved. Freaking her out even more wasn't what he wanted. "We know how absurd that sounds, and we'll understand if ye' throw us out in a minute, but give us a chance t' explain everythin', aye?"

"This is getting really weird, I hope you know that", the young woman uttered as she crossed her arms. "What do you want from me?"

"You died a little over one and a half year ago. At least that's what we thought." Tig dropped the bomb before they could make the woman any more nervous, empathy in his tone as he spoke. "And you were married to one of our brothersᅳ that's why we're here."

"I know this sounds crazy", Jax said immediately, his hands resting on the surface of the white table as a frown took over his face. "But it's the truth. At least if you're Josephine O'Connell, born in Roseville on October 10th, 1984. Is that right?"

Josy's lips opened and closed so many times that she would probably get a jaw cramp later, but not once did she utter a word. Instead, an almost hysterical-sounding chuckle slipped past her lips, a sea of emotion pooling in her eyes.

"And you are the mother of a one-year-old girl", Juice explained calmly, sympathy in both his voice and his eyes as he could see the deep shock cross Josy's face. "Well, she's one and a half now, looks just like you. Same red hair and all", he added with a beaming smile. "Her name's Esmee."

"Stop..please..", Josy whispered, sheer horror in her eyes as she listened to the words they were saying. "This has to be a bad joke. A sick, fucked up joke."

Suddenly her chest felt tight, as if someone was squeezing it. Her heart was beating so hard against her ribcage that she could feel it in her throat while the blood rushed through her veins faster than ever before, sending a feeling of dizziness to her head.

"We wish it was just a bad joke, believe me." Jax leaned over the table a little as he was the one sitting closest to Josy. The redhead looked as if she was about to pass out, so Jax put a strong hand against her arm just in case. "Are you okay? Is there anything we can do?"

Her head snapped up, astonished and partly speechless, she stared at the blonde man. "You wanna know if I'm okay?"

The hysterical laughter that sounded from the back of her throat sent a chill down the guys' spines. "You didn't seriously just ask me that, did you?"

"Josy", Juice began, trying to grab Josy's hand from the other side of the table as the redhead's breath faltered and she slowly began to hyperventilate. But the girl pulled her hand back in fright, a film of tears now covering her eyes, shattering Juice' heart. "You have to believe us, please. We may do a lot of questionable things, but joking about things like thatᅳ that's not our style."

"Then why the hell am I here if I should be dead, huh?!", she choked out, her splayed fingers pressed against her chest as she tried to take deep breaths. "I would know if I was married and had a child! What kind of mother would forget about her own child?"

"Normally people don't, that's right", Jax noted with a sigh, feeling bad for the woman who seemed absolutely frightened and desperate. "You had an accident when you were pregnantᅳ you died, the baby, Esmee, was saved."

"Someone must've played us really good, after all you're sitting in front of us, no idea who we are", Tig continued as he leaned forward a little, his arms crossed on the table as his piercing blue eyes searched for Josy's. "And your husband is losing it the more time passes without you by his side."

"I can'tᅳ I can't believe this." The first tears rolled down her pale cheeks, which she quickly wiped away with her palms before shaking her head frantically and shooting up from her seat. Smoothing her apron, she exhaled shakily. "I had an accident, yes. And yes, I've been suffering from anterograde amnesia since it happened", she explained, the words practically bubbling out of her. "But this..", another hysterical laugh fell over her lips. "This is absolutely crazy."

"Who told ye' all of tha', lass? Who was there after you woke up?", Chibs asked urgently as he also stood up without getting too close to the redhead. She was already upset and frightened enough, almost seeming like a little deer without a mother. "Can ye' at least remember what happened after the accident?"

"My family, who else?" All of this was too much for her, her brain no longer able to process all the information that she didn't even know if it was true. "I'm sorry, Iᅳ I can't do this."

"Josy, please!" Jax was the first to grab Josy's arm, causing the young woman to defend herself and yank her arm out of his grasp before stumbling two steps backwards, which caught the attention of the other employees and guests.

"Don't touch me", the redhead snarled, which wasn't normally her style. But at the moment she was so overwhelmed that all she wanted to do was to run away. "Leave me alone, all of you. I don't know what kind of sick game this is, but play it with someone else!"

"You heard her", the brunette from before intervened after she had immediately rushed over to her clearly upset friend, her gaze stern and warning. "You better leave now before I get the managerᅳ or before I call the police."

"Alright." Jax threw his hands in the air with a sigh while Chibs scribbled something down on a napkin. "Come on guys, let's go."

There was no point in staying here. In hindsight, someone would actually call the cops and they didn't need that at the moment. After fourteen months inside, a police station was the last place they wanted to see right now. Maybe they would try again in a few days, outside the restaurant.

"It was nice to see you again though", Jax added sincerely, wistfulness in his blue eyes before he shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded the guys over.

"If ye' change yer' mind", Chibs shoved the napkin into the small pocket on Josy's apron, an almost fatherly smile grazing his lips. "That's the address of our clubhouseᅳ ye' can visit us there anytime."

Josy's body stiffened, the muscles under her skin slowly began to burn from all the tension. Still, she didn't miss how calm she became when the man with the scars on his face shot her that smile. It felt familiar, but she couldn't remember ever having seen the man before.

"We'd love to hear from you." Juice was also back on his feet by now, suppressing the urge to hug his best friend with all his might. Still, he gently bumped her shoulder with his as he walked past her, smiling at her. "It's a relief to know that you're alive."

Tig was the last to walk past the women, giving Josy a warm smile before winking at the brunette, Summer. "You can join her if your friend decides to come by."

"Jesus, you're not giving up, huh?" Slightly annoyed, the brunette rolled her eyes, comfortingly rubbing her friend's arm as she watched the four men reluctantly leave the restaurant. "What a bunch of freaks."

The guests forgot about the incident quicker than expected and went back to their food while business continued as normal. Summer, on the other hand, led Josy into one of the back rooms so her friend could have a quiet moment.

"Do you need something?", asked Summer, concern evident in her tone as Josy slowly sank into a chair. "Want me to call Debbie?"

"No, please don't", Josy answered quickly, not in the mood to have to explain all of this to her sister right now. "I'm okay, Summer. You can go back to work."

The brunette raised an eyebrow questioningly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, thank you", Josy assured with a weak smile and a nod, watching her colleague leave the room with a shrug and a sigh.

Only then did Josy reach for the napkin in her apron and stare thoughtfully at the address. Maybe she should look into it. If there was any chance that there was any truth behind what the men had said, then she wanted to know. Above all, she wanted to know why her father and sister, who supposedly only wanted the best for her, had lied to her.

Maybe, just maybe, she would take a little trip to Charming this weekend.

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