#posting this here because it doesn't really fit anywhere else - sorry!

[intheholler]

the appalachian murder ballad <3 one of the most interesting elements of americana and american folk, imo!

my wife recently gave me A Look when i had one playing in the car and she was like, "why do all of these old folk songs talk about killing people lmao" and i realized i wanted to Talk About It at length.

nerd shit under the cut, and it's long. y'all been warned

so, as y'all probably know, a lot of appalachian folk music grew its roots in scottish folk (and then was heavily influenced by Black folks once it arrived here, but that's a post for another time).

they existed, as most folk music does, to deliver a narrative--to pass on a story orally, especially in communities where literacy was not widespread. their whole purpose was to get the news out there about current events, and everyone loves a good murder mystery!

as an aside, i saw someone liken the murder ballad to a ye olde true crime podcast and tbh, yeah lol.

the "original" murder ballads started back across the pond as news stories printed on broadsheets and penned in such a way that it was easy to put to melody.

they were meant to be passed on and keep the people informed about the goings-on in town. i imagine that because these songs were left up to their original orators to get them going, this would be why we have sooo many variations of old folk songs.

naturally then, almost always, they were based on real events, either sung from an outside perspective, from the killer's perspective and in some cases, from the victim's. of course, like most things from days of yore, they reek of social dogshit. the particular flavor of dogshit of the OG murder ballad was misogyny.

so, the murder ballad came over when the english and scots-irish settlers did. in fact, a lot of the current murder ballads are still telling stories from centuries ago, and, as is the way of folk, getting rewritten and given new names and melodies and evolving into the modern recordings we hear today.

305 such scottish and english ballads were noted and collected into what is famously known as the Child Ballads collected by a professor named francis james child in the 19th century. they have been reshaped and covered and recorded a million and one times, as is the folk way.

while newer ones continued to largely fit the formula of retelling real events and murder trials (such as one of my favorite ones, little sadie, about a murderer getting chased through the carolinas to have justice handed down), they also evolved into sometimes fictional, (often unfortunately misogynistic) cautionary tales.

perhaps the most famous examples of these are omie wise and pretty polly where the woman's death almost feels justified as if it's her fault (big shocker).

but i digress. in this way, the evolution of the murder ballad came to serve a similar purpose as the spooky legends of appalachia did/do now.

(why do we have those urban legends and oral traditions warning yall out of the woods? to keep babies from gettin lost n dying in them. i know it's a fun tiktok trend rn to tell tale of spooky scary woods like there's really more haints out here than there are anywhere else, but that's a rant for another time too ain't it)

so, the aforementioned little sadie (also known as "bad lee brown" in some cases) was first recorded in the 1920s. i'm also plugging my favorite female-vocaist cover of it there because it's superior when a woman does it, sorry.

it is a pretty straightforward murder ballad in its content--in the original version, the guy kills a woman, a stranger or his girlfriend sometimes depending on who is covering it.

but instead of it being a cautionary 'be careful and don't get pregnant or it's your fault' tale like omie wise and pretty polly, the guy doesn't get away with it, and he's not portrayed as sympathetic like the murderer is in so many ballads.

a few decades after, women started saying fuck you and writing their own murder ballads.

in the 40s, the femme fatale trope was in full swing with women flipping the script and killing their male lovers for slights against them instead.

men began to enter the "find out" phase in these songs and paid up for being abusive partners. women regained their agency and humanity by actually giving themselves an active voice instead of just being essentially 'fridged in the ballads of old.

her majesty dolly parton even covered plenty of old ballads herself but then went on to write the bridge, telling the pregnant-woman-in-the-murder-ballad's side of things for once. love her.

as a listener, i realized that i personally prefer these modern covers of appalachian murder ballads sung by women-led acts like dolly and gillian welch and even the super-recent crooked still especially, because there is a sense of reclamation, subverting its roots by giving it a woman's voice instead.

meaning that, like a lot else from the problematic past, the appalachian murder ballad is something to be enjoyed with critical ears. violence against women is an evergreen issue, of course, and you're going to encounter a lot of that in this branch of historical music.

but with folk songs, and especially the murder ballad, being such a foundational element of appalachian history and culture and fitting squarely into the appalachian gothic, i still find them important and so, so interesting

i do feel it's worth mentioning that there are "tamer" ones. with traditional and modern murder ballads alike, some of them are just for "fun," like a murder mystery novel is enjoyable to read; not all have a message or retell a historical trial.

(for instance, i'd even argue ultra-modern, popular americana songs like hell's comin' with me is a contemporary americana murder ballad--being sung by a male vocalist and having evolved from being at the expense of a woman to instead being directed at a harmful and corrupt church. that kind of thing)

in short: it continues to evolve, and i continue to eat that shit up.

anyway, to leave off, lemme share with yall my personal favorite murder ballad which fits squarely into murder mystery/horror novel territory imo.

it's the 10th child ballad and was originally known as "the twa sisters." it's been covered to hell n back and named and renamed.

but! if you listen to any flavor of americana, chances are high you already know it; popular names are "the dreadful wind and rain" and sometimes just "wind and rain."

in it, a jealous older sister pushes her other sister into a river (or stream, or sea, depending on who's covering it) over a dumbass man. the little sister's body floats away and a fiddle maker come upon her and took parts of her body to make a fiddle of his own. the only song the new fiddle plays is the tale about how it came to be, and it is the same song you have been listening to until then.

how's that for genuinely spooky-scary appalachia, y'all?

[tryingahandinholdingapen]

I keep forgetting to type this up so this may not be as well written as I'd like but I feel like I gotta get it down before I forget about it

anyway

TCF AU in which the Henituse are in fact just as mad about inheritance as most other nobles, they just happen to approach it completely differently and therefore nobody (...outside of Henituse of territory) is aware of this

Side effects of this include the Henituse family generally getting along better + being tighter knit than in canon, and KRS!Cale not having to worry as much about doing anything out of character for og!Cale because others can make the actions fit <-sorry this doesn't really make sense before I've explained the rest of the AU I may be doing this out of order

UH okay so

I'm using the Stans and the Crossmans as my reference for what other nobles may be like in regards to inheritance btw, since I don't recall much information about how any others in the Roan Kingdom deal with it (yes I know the Crossmans are royalty not mere nobility, I'm doing the best I can with the info I got)

Anyway. My point is that most nobles in Roan might view inheritance something along the lines of

- There is one (1) position that matters and that is Leader Of The Territory, whether that be duke/count/king/whatever, that's the one position that matters

- Every potential heir is gunning for this one position, and generally (may be exceptions in some households or in extenuating circumstances) does not support each other at all. Every man for himself

- Whoever currently holds that Leader position probably doesn't care too much about what their potential heirs do to try and secure that position for their own future..

- ...which means that sabotage, violence, messing with each others' alliances or reputations as well as forming their own, and using even less scrupulous means (cough assassins cough) to try and secure their own position or fuck each other over are ALL very much on the table (your milage may vary depending on how nice your particular family is)

- Outsiders are more or less aware of the ongoing fight for whatever position, as well as how it's going for each party, and can+will take sides themselves in supporting a potential heir, dependent on how important the family is

- If you are a potential heir and you do not end up getting that One Position then depending on how nice your particular family is you'll end up somewhere between "brutally murdered" (...Stans I'm looking at you), "have to get a job + support yourself, with varying extents of help from whoever leads the territory", "okay cool no responsibilities but still some inherited wealth you get to do Fuckall Forever"

This post is getting way too long so I'm putting a read more before I put the Henituse rules and then I'll reblog this post to write about how I think this could affect the canon Henituse (Deruth as well as both his late wife and current wife, OG!Cale, KRS!Cale, Basen, Lily)

And then there's the Henituse who...don't follow any of those rules about inheritance. They have their own, entirely separate rules, for all this. Everyone else assumes they don't have any inheritance bullshit going on - and to be fair, in some generations, they don't! In some generations, it's all resolved very quickly and neatly and it's no big deal. Other times it's a massive mess or takes absolute eons to sort out but it's an INTERNAL AFFAIR that others don't hear of and also they're not anywhere near as hostile to each other so like...nobody knows this. This is how the Henituse have been running affairs for basically forever and it works very well so they've kind of just kept doing it

Um. Here's some rules for how inheritance works for the Henituse

1) The biggest difference to note is that the Henituse do not only have one position (Count, at the beginning of TCF, I guess that switches to Duke when they become a duchy though). Instead they have broken up every possible role into about as smaller pieces as they can, and made each of those a separate position, so that there's like...more than twenty

Some examples of these positions/roles/jobs:

- Count/Duke, obviously

- Knight/in charge of all knights

- Guard/in charge of all guards

- Information gathering (may or may not be separated into "civilian friendly", "welcome to the underworld" and "okay now you're getting involved in things outside of the Henituse territory (military, marrying out into other households, etc) and reporting back" versions)

- Information control (instead of gathering information they're controlling what information others get e.g. starting or spreading rumours, planting evidence, etc.) This one may or may not be further separated into like "this is legal and there will be no/minor problems if you get caught" and a "okay good luck dealing with the underworld" versions of the role

- Free good stuff for the territory/kingdom e.g. anything involved with charity or things that benefit the public at the expense of the Henituse. This probably includes anything to do with orphanages and some things to do with taxes maybe

- Ambiguous role thats in direct opposition to any crime/underworld in their territory

- Effective second in command to above role

- And an admin type role for the two aforementioned, if necessary

- Ambiguous role that minimises harm to their civilians by PERSONALLY running+controlling crime/underworld in their territory

- Effective second in command for above role

- and admin for the aforementioned two, if necessary

- Admin role to assist Count/Duke

- let's have our own personal mage

- let's have our own personal researcher for [insert topic that directly benefits territory here]

- consort/wife/husband type role to whoever is the current Count/Duke. In charge of hosting parties/events and networking with others in the equivalent role

You get the gist there's a lot of potential roles. It's impossible for them all to be filled by direct family members of the Henituse at any given time, which is the POINT. Ideally they want each potential heir to occupy a separate role from each other, and for each to choose something that they personally are interested in + would excel at. The remaining roles that aren't fulfilled by them are either left unfulfilled, if deemed unnecessary or if they don't have the people to fill 'em, or they're rolled together with other role(s) and one person then takes on the combined position of those, or they're given to trusted members of extended family and/or trusted subordinates. But like the point is that everyone gets a defined role and hopefully everyone gets a defined role that they specifically chose that suits them

You could also choose to marry/get adopted out of the Henituse and say "actually, I am prioritising my new family and will therefore not be working as much/at all for the Henituse anymore". In which case you're still expected to be working towards the betterment of the Roan Kingdom

Or you could get disowned. That works too

2) Directly related to there being so many roles...terms and conditions apply (there's age cutoffs and exceptions in case of illness or disability) but for the most part? If you're a Henituse you have to be working for the betterment of the Henituse territory and/or the Roan Kingdom, or if you're too young for that yet, you have to be actively working towards that goal. There is no option to slack off or coast off inherited wealth. Reports are required, either from you or about you from those around you, at least three times a year, with either "here's what I'm/they're doing" or "here's why I'm/they're not doing anything <- this is for illness, disability, or extenuating circumstances"

(I'm so sorry KRS!Cale. No slackers' life for you)

There's fairly strict rules about this. If you miss a report (there's a fairly long time you can submit them in! like at least 2-4 months. just get them to whoever currently runs the territory) then you get a limited time extension. If you miss that then you're suspended/put on default duty (more on what that is in a minute). If you miss a second report in a row (not counting the extension on the first report) then you risk getting disinherited. If you do fuckall for over a year without a single word about why (in other words if you miss 3 reports in a row AND there's no word from anybody else on what you're doing in that time frame that would excuse you) then fuck you you're getting disowned

(Again I am so sorry KRS!Cale)

3) Because there are multiple people and multiple roles in play, things can potentially get a whole lot more complicated than "I want to be Count and I want everyone else to NOT be the Count". Because theoretically every single person involved may have

- opinions on what role(s) they want for themself

- opinions on what role(s) they DO NOT want for themself

- opinions on what role(s) they want [insert another person] to have

- opinions on what role(s) they DO NOT want [insert another person] to have <- this may be because they think the other person isn't suited for it or because they personally want that role and therefore they don't want anyone else getting it because of the preference for everyone to get a separate role to each other

And then multiply that by approximately a thousand for the like 20+ roles there probably are, and then make it several times more complicated for every additional potential heir that is involved because that drastically increases the potential different combinations

It's a lot!!!

Anyway that means that in any generations that do have disagreements about inheritance things get SO fucking messy words cannot describe,,,I'm laughing just thinking about it oh my god

4) Therefore, as equal parts "necessary damage control" and "the Henituse are genuinely a lot nicer about inheritance + each other than most noble families" there are...rules. About the infighting. Jfbsjfbjdnf

Okay rule number one on that front is that you must not harm or cause genuine distress to any other family member or potential heir (no fucking assassins in this household thank you very much). Rule number two is that, ideally we want a family that loves and respects each other, but bare minimum you must look out for each other and have SOME small element of trust+mutual respect there. Rule number three is no involving outsiders. This is an internal matter about inheritance it's not a fucking civil war in the making (....I will forever be mildly puzzled about the whole,,,different factions supporting different princes thing. that seems like it had potential to escalate so badly if, yk, they didn't have much bigger problems cropping up) and therefore you WILL NOT have outsiders sabotage other heirs' chances at any given position, and any allies of yours should either be your ally or the Henituse's ally but NOT EVER an enemy of the Henituse as the whole or of the other potential heirs'. Rule number four is that no matter what else you do you MUST NOT disadvantage the Henituse as a whole nor the Roan Kingdom as a whole, under any circumstances

The fact that they can't harm each other or each others' chances for a position means that their options are to just work really hard to prove that THEY personally are a better fit for it, try to go convince the other themself that [blank] would be a better idea, or resort to psychological warfare (without tripping over the line of "harm or genuine distress"), or start doing elaborate social engineering + crafting their own and each others' reputation. No physical harm here only (limited) psychological/emotional/social harm <3

But again like there are limits to that. Not too much harm. If you're not still 100% happy thinking of the others as your family (even if only distant family) who you'd be glad + not too uncomfortable to eat a meal with, you fucked up. If you ever make a family member feel unsafe around you you definitely fucked up

[pastelwitchling]

Rewatching the RWRB movie for the billionth time, and I want to mention this to see if anyone else felt it, but... did it bother anyone else that they completely removed Alex's jealousy?

They were only a few moments in the book, but they always meant something, and they showed Alex's attachment to Henry before the kiss at New Year's. Speaking of which, I hate the New Year's Eve party scene. Don't get me wrong, I hated it in the book too (as an introvert, I hate all parties, including party scenes in stories, and I think the movie made the karaoke scene a lot better because it was quieter and a lot smaller than the original scene in the book at a club with another roomful of people), but here were the big differences that really ruined it for me:

The book version: Alex says he's not going to babysit Henry if he has no one to talk to, but the second he finds out Henry is bringing a plus one, he asks who it is because he's jealous, and ends up sticking to his side the entire night without even realizing he's doing it because he loves watching Henry's reaction to everything he does. Also? Henry is never left alone. He's either with Alex, or June, or a group of interns are giggling and blushing at meeting him because he's, you know, Prince Henry, the youngest and most beautiful prince. Everyone already knows who he is, and Alex is not really needed at his side, but just enjoys being there. This is super important: Alex doesn't want to be anywhere but at Henry's side, watching Henry.

The movie version: Alex does indeed spend the night talking to Henry (from what we see), but then a girl falls into his lap and has no idea who Henry is, which is already weird. They act like Henry is some college friend of Alex's that he happened to invite to his New Year's party, and not, you know, THE YOUNGEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL PRINCE THAT EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS. That's not my own wording either, by the way, Alex is the one that calls Henry that in the book during a jealous fit. Not only that, but Henry is left alone at a bar (no one's coming up to the handsome European prince during a party? Really?) , and Alex looks over from where he's dancing with someone else and gets a look of almost pity before he comes up to Henry and tries to get him to dance, making it feel like Alex is talking to Henry because he feels sorry for him and he has to instead of being there because he just wants to be.

Like? Can you see my issue? Listen, I love this movie, I'm rewatching it right now as I write this post, and I've memorized the entire script at this point. But I truly hate that party scene. It turns Alex's unwitting attachment to Henry to, ironically, a babysitting scene. Why not have Alex look over instead to find Henry talking to someone else, get jealous without realizing he's getting jealous, and cut in with the "You don't dance?" line, interrupting whatever conversation Henry was having. It becomes clear to us that the person Henry was talking to is already at the party with someone, but Alex, in his jealousy, only noticed that Henry had been enjoying his time at his party with someone else, and it would've been a single moment, but like all of Alex's jealous scenes in the book, it would've held so much weight.

I'm not going to pretend like the movie doesn't do a fantastic job of thoroughly showing Alex's feelings for Henry later on, but I also won't act like the movie doesn't have its flaws. It has plenty, but I can overlook and dismiss all the other mistakes. This stupid New Year's party is the only one that truly bothers me. (Also that scene during Alex and Nora's conversation after Henry kisses Alex, and we get that super pointless few seconds of the girl walking in? Like, thanks, glad we didn't get other vital scenes in the movie - because all the deleted scenes so far HAVE been super vital - to get some of those riveting few seconds scattered throughout the film instead.)

I know that the more you love a book, the more you'll find flaws with the movie/show adaptation. The movie does many things much better than the book, but there are some aspects of the book that were too important to cut out in the movie. Still, I still recognize that as someone who loves this story so much, I was bound to find a few things that could've been done better.

[wild-west-wind]

sorry if this is an odd question, but how did you become a park ranger? and did you "always" know you wanted to be a park ranger? (as in, did you decide this long ago and went to the right schools for it, or did it just sorta happen because of your educations?)

it seems like such a fascinating job, i feel like i would enjoy it but alas ive never been really good at the subjects required for it, but that doesnt stop me from daydreaming and looking at your posts about your job with like... is there a word for when youre kinda jealous of someone but in a kind and inspiring way? like "wow wish that were me!" but in a sweet way? haha im sorry, english isnt my first language and i just woke up and decided to send this

i hope you have a good day!!

Not an odd question at all!

So, as for how I became a park ranger, I live blogged the process in real time when I was first applying. In short, get two years of college (ideally a degree), learn how to write a good federal resume (it's different), apply for 100 jobs (easy once you get going), and get one job offer. The first seasonal job is the hardest, then the first permanent job. Lateral moves are really easy once you have your foot in the door. The government doesn't want to take risks on hires, but once someone else has vetted you, you can go anywhere.

And I absolutely did not always want to be a park ranger! It's like the ideal job I dreamed of at age 5, but I didn't go to school with this in mind, I wasn't dreaming about it at night. I needed a job, and this seemed like a good fit, so I went for it! It's probably a 60/40 split at my park, people who fell into this versus people who went and got one of those "Parks Management" sort of degrees that are totally useless outside this career path (and tbh really not necessary IN this career path).

And you should totally apply. The NPS manages A LOT of sites focusing on a lot of topics, and even in sites that are irrelevant to what you actually study, you'd still be bringing good skills in. Among our permanent staff I work with directly every day, we have a Parks Management degree, a music degree, geology/environmental science, biology, spanish, economics, and film arts something or other. Our summer staff has even more diverse educational backgrounds. If you're willing to put in the work, and you give a shit about where you are, you'd be a good park ranger.

As someone who lives vicariously through a lot of people, I'm happy to know some pictures and stories I'm posting here are giving you good day dream material!

[p-redux]

Just a question, a serious one, for you or anyone else here. Sorry, this is a long post.

If you are totally okay with whoever S wants to date and you are just happy for him, then why do you allow people on your blog to trash these women? I know a couple of the women he's supposed to have dated have done some things to and/or said some things about Sam that were bad. But most of them still follow him (if they did before) and most of them have said nothing bad about him. Why not defend them? We don't know for sure which of them he dated casually, more seriously, or at all. It's mostly conjecture. Why are the women always attacked?

If we all do really love Sam and his work AND support whatever type of love life he chooses, then why do we look for every bad trait about the women associated with him? I do think a couple of them maybe wanted him for his money or fame, but all of them didn't do that. Sam is a grown-ass man, and while I do think he is a nice and sweet people pleaser, I don't think he is gullible enough to only go out with women who want to use him or who are trashy. It's terrible for women to attack other women when the only reason they do it is based on conjecture.

I know many here won't agree with me, but when I look at Katie , Abbie, and Mackenzie I don't see fake, plastic , bougie women. There are others we have seen him with who also don't look that way. Why would we assume he's attracted to those types? Just because he looks at or follows women who might fit that type, doesn't mean that's the type of woman he really wants a relationship with. The women I see on IG often just remind me of what has always appeared in men's' magazines, it's just easier now to post your own photos. Much of that is fantasy and men are really visual.

Personally, I just don't believe he has dated every woman associated with him in the last 10 years. I just don't. I also don't believe he has dated someone if we have no actual proof. Being around someone, friends with someone, hanging out with someone, having a meal with someone doesn't always mean dating them. Everyone jumps to conclusions EVERY SINGLE TIME he is rumored to be connected to a woman. I have even read where Sam said there are numerous scenarios about who he has dated or is dating and many of them aren't true.

Sure, it's fun to speculate. But when it moves to attacking these women, that's too far. We don't know Sam or any of these women personally- at least most of us don't. We only know what they may share on SM. I find it appalling the ugly, hateful things I have seen written about Karina Elle and Monika Clarke in the last year or so, for example. Unless someone here has more proof than I have seen - real proof- we don't know IF or how long he actually dated either of them. We don't know if he dated one, but not the other. We don't know if he dated them both at the same time. Only Sam and the women know for sure. Without irrefutable proof, we don't know what happened between them. Someone dropping an anon that he was at a football game with his hands on KE's ass, or that he was spotted in Brooklyn with a tall, beautiful brunette shopping but with NO photos just isn't proof. I'm sorry, but if you can hang around a location long enough to KNOW it's Sam and KNOW the identity of the woman, you can get a photo. I know many say they didn't take a photo because they didn't want to invade their privacy. Well if that's true, then why post about it on a fan blog???? I would guess that any fan who may have seen him with a date and asked for a photo with him- who genuinely likes and respects Sam-- probably knows who he was with and has chosen not to post it anywhere out of respect for Sam and the woman.

I fan over him too. Sometimes I love the speculation too. But these women are real human beings and we need to remember that. And if we love and respect Sam, we need to respect his own choices. He doesn't need my permission to date or care about any woman. But if I respect him, I shouldn't trash a woman he chooses to spend time with.

Anon, you've mistaken me for some other blogs. This is PURV, one of my number one rules for my blog is that I don't allow any hate toward Sam or Cait OR Tony OR any woman Sam dates. I delete hate comments other people may have left on my posts, and I warn the person that if they do it again, I'll block them. Sometimes, people will reblog a post and leave a hate comment, but there's nothing I can do there because I can't delete a reblog. But the person will automatically get blocked.

So, please pay better attention or realize you're mistaking me for other blogs, I don't tolerate hate for the women Sam dates at all. If anything, out of respect for him. If he picks a woman to date, then he must find qualities in her he likes, and that's good enough for me. Whatever and whoever makes him happy, I'm happy for him. Simple as that.

As for your specific comment about not knowing whether Karina or Monika dated Sam. Um, the sighting at the football game was not an Anon. It was an identifiable real person who was at the game and saw them together and their interactions. A source I directly talked to. She has no horse in this race, no reason to lie. I got the info from her directly and I know her full identity. So, there is NO doubt her sighting was real. As for Monika, there are PICS of Sam and Monika KISSING at a restaurant in New York. And I also DMed with the photographer who TOOK the pics. He confirmed neither Sam or Monika's people called him. He's a photographer active in New York and gets around a lot. The pics are real and the kiss was real.

So, while you're right that there are some women associated with Sam where it's only speculation with no proof...the two you mentioned there IS proof. And plenty of others as well. Simply search my blog or do a Google Search. There's more proof for Karina and Monika than the two instances I mentioned. And he didn't date them at the same time.

And to reiterate: I, Purv, DO NOT allow any hate on my blog toward ANY woman Sam dates. And certainly no hate for Cait's husband, Tony. Apparently that wasn't clear to you. I hope it is now. Sorry to be pissy, but it's annoying seeing this first thing in the morning, when I've literally made it my blog's work to NOT hate on any of Sam or Cait's significant others. I'm one of the few blogs who sets this boundary.

Have a nice day, Anon, but please, if you're going to take the time to write such a long Ask, do your research first before accusing someone of something FALSE. Thank you.

Happy Monday, everyone! 🙄🙃

[starlightbelle]

Okay I typed all this out in the tags but it was too long (I hit the 30 tag limit 😆) so I might as well share it here in case anyone is interested

You're so right, first of all

Also their reasons for how they are currently (their Batman-related reasons) do make sense for their characters for a time. I think that's how it probably should start, but then it eventually develops into the vision OP saw.

Dick starts off in Bludhaven but ultimately can't resist the siren call of traveling, honoring the itchy feet he’s had since his childhood.

Jason starts out by going here and there…ANYWHERE to get away from Bruce and his legacy, but comes to the realization somewhere down the line that Gotham is still his place (as much as it is Bruce’s), and he's going to defend/protect it tooth and nail...Bruce be darned. It likely leads to more than a few sour encounters for the two of them, (but who knows?? Maybe the forced proximity would help them eventually mend their relationship…and neither of them are going to budge; both are too stubborn to leave Gotham)

And Tim...Tim stays in Gotham because Bruce does. Whether he feels like he's tethered to it or honor-bound to Bruce or whatever, he just kinda���does. Until he realizes he doesn't have to (maybe Dick helps him realize this; maybe he doesn't). Eventually he takes a page out of Dick's book and makes a name for himself somewhere else, someplace where he can be his own man. (Maybe he takes over at Bludhaven, maybe he doesn't - I don't know enough about Bludhaven to say whether that's a good choice for Tim specifically)

They're really in a cycle.

Dick -> Jason -> Tim // city -> travel -> Gotham

In a sense it's interesting to see the former Robins cycle like that. Almost like they each follow this path like a rite of passage/coming of age even if it leads them to different places in the end. More interesting still is that each Robin grows into the place their successor was to start (with Tim of course looping back to Dick)

Their original position wasn’t a good fit. But it is a good fit for some Robin, just not that Robin.

Each Robin has something to learn from the next, whether they consciously realize that they’re borrowing a page out of the next one’s book or not.

Sorry to hijack your post OP 😅 this concept is so fascinating to me, and I feel like this story could be told in a very satisfying way.

Wanna know something that kinda irks me. The fact that Dick Grayson has his own city, Jason Todd travels the world, and Tim Drake more or less stays in Gotham.

As characters, I feel like it would make sense if Dick was the hero who traveled the world, Jason stayed in Gotham, and Tim had his own city. Like it makes more sense.

I understand why it’s the way that it is, Dick had to get out of the shadow of Batman, Jason had to just get away from Batman, and Tim has to support Batman, but like think about it.

Dick who grew up in a traveling circus in his early life, would be itching to be back on the road and go wherever the wind takes him

Jason who lived in Gotham his whole life, and knows it like the back of his hand, would always be drawn to it and be its ferocious protector

And Tim, he needs a superhero identity that is out of the shadow of Batman, so I feel like him having his own city to protect would be good for him.

It just fits better with their characters, but eh, their stories will always be chained to Bruce’s.

[mewmewdraws]

I'm venting about a friend also I might not post as much after this.

Alright time to explain why I might not post as much as I would like to.

So I have this friend and they are a person that is very important to me because we have been in a friendship for more than 5+ years.

This summer I have been bored and stuck in a house for almost the whole summer so far so I would ofc try and talk to friends.

Now during school and what not they would almost talk to me daily. I would be the first person to say something then an hour later (due to them being in a different time zone than me) would respond back almost daily.

Now that it's summer break they almost never talk to me. which I have the thought that there family was just busy or they where hanging out with some friends.

Yesterday I asked them if they wanted to play a game or not because we haven't really done that in a while and they said sure but they also said that they would join me in a few mins. I left the game after that because I wanted to play on my xbox but it still would be the same game.

For some reason it wouldn't let me sign in on my xbox and I went back to my computer then saw my friend was online. I joined them and then after me joining they just straight up left and went to play a different game.

I stayed in the game for 5 mins to see if they would join back (because it's roblox I mean there are a lot of people who get a shit ton of disconnects) But they never did join back

This lead me to having a panic attack and I was questioning are friendship. But I didn't question much and instead of asking them about I just left the game and did a diamond art thing.

This is an online friend but still this person had done a lot for just being my friend. I have a lot of panic attacks due to anxiety on life and much more things I think about.

To add onto the fact that they don't talk to me as much. I would always say like e as a joke or something else like a cool picture I found here or anywhere else. we would have a short talk like only 5 text's then they would say they are sleepy.

Now I know a lot about this person and I figured that there siblings are just a lot rn. but when ever I joke about it they just say that there siblings just use the computer and they leave to go do anything else. (they don't like playing on there phone because roblox is kinda hard to play on mobile) But sometimes it doesn't feel like that. and one of are last little chats they said that they were sleepy but then said or am I really?

This didn't affect me as much but it still makes me question are friendship now. I really don't want to lose this person for they have keeped me alive when I felt hollow and empty inside.

I wasn't a popular kid when I was in middle school nor high school but those times were really hard due to the fact I lost a childhood cat of mine during middle school and a family members death during high school.

My online friend was around for both of them and they made me feel like someone cared for me at the time. I would have thank them in so many ways there wouldn't even be a book or list to even fit it.

But now that they are not wanting to talk to me nor even hang out in the same game as me it just makes me question if this is a friendship worth fighting for.

I don't really know what to do. I can't talk to my mom about it because she doesn't know I have online friends. If I told my mom about this she would take away my computer and made sure I didn't any socials. I know one of my friends would know if I was gone for a month due to me helping them through there hard relationship.

There girlfriend didn't talk to them for 5 months but she's back and well from what I know. But I want to keep in touch with my online friends because the ones that I talk to they have been with me for over 5+ years.

I am sorry that I made this vent so long and if you did read the whole thing then thanks. I just wish I had more people to talk about this to and I don't want to talk to my friend about there behavior because I don't want to act like an bitch. They could just be busy. but the fact that I joined them in a game and they leave to play another was just odd to me and I don't know what else to do.

So I am just gonna do my own thing for a little and I'll try to post more art because I have been slaking.

Again sorry for the long vent but i feel like I needed to tell yall this. Thanks for reading I hope yall stay healthy and safe <3

[hotshotshitshow]

im not trying to be mean forreal but you arent gonna have people rbing your stuff if you don't tag it! 2 give an example your most recent piece has 7 tags total, two of which are personal tags that no ones gonna search so lets say 5. in addition to the ones you included which werent bad you should also include stuff like the medium (ex: #traditional art) and of course #artists on tumblr. tagging aesthetics that fit also goes a long way. plus a (no guilt) caption requesting that people boost your work. something important to keep in mind with tumblr is that its really good for circulating art LONG term rather than most social media platforms which prioritize feeding the neverending ratrace for whatevers trending. I am in no way a big name artist but my most circulated posts come from people tag searching and queueing. obvs theres usually gonna be the most attention over the first few days but also give it time! don't be afraid to repost or find niches who will circulate your stuff. post art and then link it in oc discords, too this isnt meant to admonish you btw more it makes me sad to see you get discouraged. you have a unique and compelling artstyle with genuinely swagful characters so the idea of you peacing out saddens my heart. i hope this helps, cya

Hey first off. I genuinely appreciate this, I am ngl I knew I shouldn't have posted that last night cuz I knew I'd be embarrassed about it later and well!! Here I am, feeling like a damn fool!! Sincerely tho, your words do mean a lot.

However, the one thing that trips me up is that back when I did use Tumblr more regularly, like several years ago, they had made it so that only the first five tags on a post were searchable, and everything else wasn't visible in tag searches. Has this changed? It's been a long time and I have no idea what's changed with Tumblr in the past few years but I've just been operating on the assumption that only the first five tags "count." Also I am just ... Not good at knowing what to tag things other than in the most straightforward way possible 😬

I definitely absolutely get discouraged way way way too quickly and I acknowledge that, it comes from years of a building frustration of posting on social media and never feeling like it goes anywhere while also watching those around me grow their followings. It's come to a point where it feels like if something I post "fails" then it tanks my mood on a hair trigger. And it's not healthy!!! This is largely why I've stopped posting publicly anywhere. Bc the reaction I've built up is so instantaneous and intense that it's completely unhealthy for me. Sorry to vent at you!! It's all just sort of coming out. I've absolutely poisoned the way I view interaction on social media for myself and it feels very entrenched and I don't really know what to do about it.

I want to share my art with people and I want them to like my art and asking for reblogs directly on art posts is something that always felt gross to me but idk maybe that's what I gotta do. I have this notion in my mind tho that if my art is good and people like it, they'll reblog it because they want to, not because I asked them to. It doesn't feel like people are sharing my art bc they genuinely like it if they're doing it bc I asked them to. And then people don't reblog my art, so it gets interpreted as "well, I guess nobody thinks my art is very good, otherwise they'd want to share it!"

This all feels very immature of me and I hate that this is how I feel. I definitely am very deeply in the mindset now of "well, nobody appreciated my art much when I did post it, so now nobody gets to see it anymore." Idk how to grow past this tbh. I am absolutely only shooting myself in the foot. Oh well whatever!!!

Anyway. Thank you again for this, and also if you did actually read this, thank you for your time and energy. I don't think you were being mean at all, you said what is true, I think. I hope you have a lovely day.

[theinvisiblemuseum]

how about......people demanding wlw rep then never actually engaging with it because the only thing they care about is woke points☕

this really was the wrong day for me to rb this game because i'm seriously genuinely going to be a major cunt about it and i dgaf. that's your warning.

so. here's what i think. in very general terms.

if you don't want to read below the cut (valid) here's all i'll say: stop, actually. i don't want need or care about the megaviral wlw fanfictions of your dreams, because that's not how i choose to engage with fandoms. i already make and engage with the kind of content i want to see which (surprise!) includes a lot of wlw content, but i don't see the need to force moral superiority down people's throats over it. i don't give two shits if anyone other than me is making wlw content. this is fanfiction. fanart. etc. people are allowed to write or engage with whatever they want, HOWEVER if you're throwing a fit over not having enough wlw content and can't name a woman off the top of ur head, that seems like a you problem, idk. basically i choose to actively NOT engage with the type of people screaming crying and pissing themselves over content that already exists that they can't be bothered to look for because appearances and #feminism are all that matters.

if you're here, i'm going to get more cunty, not sorry, you were warned.

the demand for wlw rep is absolutely just dog whistling to seem holier than thou, and like, whatever, most of this shit originates on twitter and tiktok and i've never listened to a word a twitter or tiktok user has said and i won't start now so on the whole i can just put my metaphorical headphones on and tune it out and keep doing my thing, yk? but when it permeates my little den of horror and my brain starts scratching itself, well, i find that sometimes i need to be an asshole and sometimes is right now.

it's not actually a fandom sexism/misogyny issue it's an issue of wanting validation to enjoy certain things, because those things are only cool if the hivemind says so, right? i'm no political expert but i know enough to know that cultlike thought patterns don't lead anywhere good. i've seen zombie movies. i live in america. LOL.

i always joke about how i'd rather die than have my favorite ships become popular (i.e. pandalily, bartydora, lilycissa, etc) but the reason i say that is because a. it breeds discourse that i don't care about, and b. i don't want a bunch of people engaging with content they're not actually interested in just to seem woke or stay on top of trends. it just makes things worse for the people who actually enjoy it.

and while i have your attention, and while i'm being a bitch, wanna know one of the big reasons i think people are crying and whining about the 'lack of wlw rep'? they want other people to care so they don't have to. of course, they don't realize other people already dooooo care, because they're too terrified to sort by anything other than hits on ao3, but that's neither here nor there. no, what they want is for some big strong heavenly god to bite the bullet and characterize these women that, let's be frank, are names on a page and nothing more, so they don't have to. so they can keep on keeping on with the characters they DO care about and toss something around every once and a while about (insert megaviral wlw fic that doesn't exist) to avoid claims of sexism & lesbophobia. AND AS A DISCLAIMER! i don't think people should feel the need to care about a bunch of random characters if they don't want to. once again, this is fanfiction. do whatever the fuck you want. i promise it makes things so much more fun and chill. just because i wanna characterize the shit out of pandora fucking lovegood, i'd never demand anyone else does, and that's the crux of it, isn't it?

this is why it also bugs me when i see posts like 'omg i don't even care who the ship is, i just love sapphics!' or smth along those lines because like, yeah, i love women and i love when women fuck each other and love each other, but i'm not just gonna care about a ship because it's two women. if i did, i'd be more than happy with the pg spoonfed #girlcore sapphic representation in mass media, because half the time it's just two white girls named rachel and brookleighanna whose only defining character traits are that they're gay. nothing more. and sorry, but i'd rather have no wlw content than that. i can't enjoy a ship if i haven't rotated them to hell and back like a rotisserie chicken in my silly little head, often before i've even consumed any content about them. that's the fun of it! i sent like 12 voice messages about a ship i don't even care about that much one time just because i took a shower and had a lot of thoughts. does that mean i'm going to attempt to make them a cornerstone of the Fandom As A Whole and be treated like a celebrity over it? fuck no. i'm just here because i like to have fun and talk to people about characters we all enjoy and create so much lore in my head that only 2 people will ever know about simply because i'm passionate about it and that passion is really enjoyable to me. fandom is a community to me, not a hierarchy, like tiktok or twitter would have you believe, and i think that's what this whole conversation about wlw rep is missing right from the jump. (ta da! i circled back to the point at hand in the end. my tangent had a point!)

yeah so that's my two cents. lol.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I have a lot of complicated feelings about this so if you find this ask uncomfortable please feel free to not answer. In a nutshell I had a very close friend in my 20's. The kind of friend people tell you adults don't have anymore. Acquaintances knew us as "__ & ___". And unfortunately while still in his 20s he was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that took his life within a few months. This was very difficult to me to say the least and I truly believe I will never find another person who will understand me or connect with me that day, romantic, sexual or platonic. So I feel like when people are like "let people have platonic soulmates" this is the kind of relationship they want to see. I've experienced one myself. Some don't. Some have those relationships that last a lifetime. I never got that chance. ... but all of that being said, I still always get confused when people are like "why can't people just be friends! why can't it be just friendship for once!". Because even though I've had the kind of relationship people are talking about when they say that, I don't personally see any shortage in media of men having these kind of intense powerful friendships? There are whole genres built on it. The buddy film. Found family. I don't really see what people mean when they say that two men can't be shipped because it's somehow off-limits because we need to preserve this rare depiction of friendship, because that depiction in media to me has always seemed much more common and valued than people keep telling me it happens in real life. I feel like I shouldn't need to say this but just for clarification I also don't ship BeejHawk (or really anyone from MASH) so I have no skin in this race from that perspective. But I've heard people use that same argument a lot for different friendship/common ship pairs and it just always falls flat to me on those grounds. What am I missing here??

Hi, anon!

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. As you may know from following me, especially if you've seen my pinned post, I had a similar experience as a child. I am fortunate enough to have another platonic soulmate in my current best friend.

I can't speak for anyone else on the "why can't they just be friends" thing, but this is the way I see it. This is probably incomplete because I used up most of my focus for the day on my job, but these are some thoughts, and I may add to them later.

There isn't a shortage of platonic relationships in media. There is a shortage of platonic relationships in fandom. Contrary to the current popular trends, fandom is not only about romantic shipping, and as someone who is interested in multiple kinds of relationships, the constant focus on shipping gets old. If you want gen content, you basically have to make it yourself. I am also not personally ever saying any ship should be off-limits for that reason. But in fandom spaces, especially when a ship is popular, there is a pressure to ship it that isn't always visible unless you're one of the people who doesn't. A lot of it is passive pressure; when ship content completely dominates a fandom space, it sucks if you don't ship it. It sucks even more if you're very interested in the dynamic between those characters, but don't see it as romantic, because there just isn't anywhere to go. It's especially frustrating when the canonical relationship is platonic, but any analysis of that is expected to fit a romantic narrative that was invented by fans.

Because that's the thing... it's expected. This ties into a larger issue, which is that spaces like tumblr conflate fandom, activism, and identity. It's seen as cooler and more progressive to ship the popular gay ships. It's also seen as inherently tied to your identity. People say "gay fans" when they mean "fans of this gay ship" and if you're a gay fan who doesn't like that ship, that honestly feels pretty fucking bad. There can also be a pretty condescending attitude that's basically like... if you don't ship this, you just don't get it. This is especially frustrating with a non-canon ship because like... no, I understand the source material just fine, I just don't subscribe to this particular popular extra-textual interpretation. There's also a certain attitude to the shipping where every interaction is treated as evidence of the ship. This runs the gamut from acts that clearly indicate love of some kind to literally standing next to each other. The "if not then why" principle gets really tiresome when there is an obvious (and canon) platonic explanation.

This is personal to me, but when I look at two characters doing things I do with my best friends, and then the fandom says "wow look how they're in love, you'd have to be insane or stupid to think they're not" I don't really like it. I know it's not that deep. But it does kind of eat away at the way I'm relating my experiences to what I see. And I'm a little sensitive about people insisting relationships must be romantic that aren't, which is very related to my experiences growing up gay. I would get both "oh, you like him!" and refusal to believe my denials about boys I was honestly just friends with and people I barely knew asking if I was dating my friends. When one of my best friends came out as bisexual in college, people we went to high school with began saying we had been a couple. We never were. As a gay person, it's important to me that people understand that I can still be best friends, even affectionate best friends or platonic soulmates, with women without being in love with them romantically. Maybe that's because I grew up in the "okay just don't hit on me" era of homophobia, I don't know. And I do try to keep some perspective about these things because again, I know it's fandom and not that deep. But when it's unending "the only possible explanation for this is romantic love" it does make me start to wonder... is that how they see people in real life, too?

The way fandom boxes every intense relationship between two men into a sexual/romantic label honestly feels reductionist to me. There is a whole spectrum of human experiences I want to explore through this piece of media and this relationship. It's also just... gotten to a point in fandom spaces (and this is not specific to one fandom) where the word "gay" appears before everything. "Gay little show" "gay people when" and it's not even relevant! The gay shipping overshadows literally everything else and some of us are just not into it, but still interested in fandom. So "why can't people just be friends" to me is not just about how relationships are interpreted, but also about just wanting to talk about something else besides the ship for once. This is also a problem with het ships, including canon ones, but the difference, in my experience, is a superiority associated with gay ships. Wanting two fictional men to kiss isn't doing anything--positive or negative--for the LGBT community.

I do also call into question a little bit the idea that media is full of well-developed, close platonic relationships between men. Particularly when you're talking about M*A*S*H, which aired from 1972 to 1983. During his interview with Mike Farrell on MASHCast, Rob told Mike how important it was to him as a teenage boy to see two men who were friends be open about their affection for each other. Maybe now in 2022 we see more of that--though my opinion is a lot of the buddy genre is very surface level--but that wasn't so commonplace when the show was on and I think that historical significance is worth acknowledging.

It's also just... gotten to a point in fandom spaces (and this is not specific to one fandom) where the word "gay" appears before everything. "Gay little show" "gay people when" and it's not even relevant! The gay shipping overshadows literally everything else and some of us are just not into it, but still interested in fandom. So "why can't people just be friends" to me is not just about how relationships are interpreted, but also about just wanting to talk about something else besides the ship for once. This is also a problem with het ships, including canon ones, but the difference is, in my experience, there's a superiority associated with gay ships. Wanting two fictional men to kiss isn't doing anything--positive or negative--for the LGBT community.

[iguessweallcrazyithinktho]

𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏

Harry was your high school bully, but he started to fall in love with you the last year of high school. Because he became famous he drew distance and hasn't seen you in years; that didn't stop him from thinking about you sometimes. One day he meets you at a friends wedding and he wasn't going to let you slip through his fingers again

Genre: fluff mostly

Warning: none really, Niall is In here

Pairing: harry styles x reader

Please don't post any of my content anywhere else without my permission

Comment and reblogs welcome

It's been 9 years since Harry has seen you. Here you were standing in front of him a beautiful woman, no longer the teen he used to bully. You looked just liked you did when you were 18, but ten times better because you were able to find your confidence. Harry hated himself for ever taken part of the bullying he did to you in high school.

Back when harry was 20

Harry sat with Niall in his hotel room as they both became drunk together. They were talking about random things like they always do when they down a few beers.

"there were lots of pretty girls today. Crazy at times but pretty amazing." Niall said as he laid slump in his chair. Harry nodded as he ran his fingers through his curls.

"yeah, they were beautiful." Harry stopped speaking for a second before he spoke again. "But none of them compared to this girl that was in my class when I was 17." Harry sighed as he took a sip of his beer.

"I bullied her and I regret it now." Niall sat up in his chair. "Harry you talk about her every time you drink a couple of beers mate."

Harry nodded screwing his eyes shut. "I know, I know it's just... I notice she was stunning and now that I think about it I was only bullying her because others were and because I was too afraid to admit I liked her." Harry groaned, he ran his right hand over his face as his left hand gripped his beer tightly. "I'm so stupid."

"harry, you're not stupid, you were young. If you really love her you need to call her or find her and tell her. Apologize first because you did her wrong and you know it. Now–"

Niall slumped back into his chair. "Let's talk about those girls."

--

The next day harry thought long and hard if he should call you and tell you how he felt. He stupid mind was getting in the way and everytime he thought about calling you he pushed the thought aside and said he'll do it later. That was his thoughts on and off for the last 7. He of course didn't call you or find anyway to contact you. Harry gave up hope and tried his best to push you out of his mind.

It was a success before until he saw you again.

Present day

Today harry was going to a close friends wedding. Harry stood in front of the mirror fixing his shirt, making sure he looked good For this event.

When he looked good enough for his liking, he walked out of his bathroom and went downstairs to the kitchen. He grabbed a snack, he knows it was going to be a long day so he needed something.

A few minutes later Harry was on the road to the wedding. He was in a good mood, drumming his fingers to the radio and singing along to it.

Not even 20 minutes later he pulled into the parking lot of the wedding venue. He found a great parking spot in near the back, he Parked and turned off the car. Harry took one last look at himself in the rearview mirror.

"look amazing still."

Harry opened his door without looking. A Yelp was heard forcing harry to look up. He quickly got out of the car as he noticed he had hit you with the door as you were picking something off the ground. "oh my gosh, I'm sor–"

Harry trailed off as he noticed it was you. His heart in his chest skipped a beat, it was really fucking you, he never thought he'd see you again.

"y/n?" You stood up, your eyes were widen when you noticed it was harry, your high school bully.

"harry." You swallowed thickly. "Um.. I have to go inside." You turned around ready to walk away. Harry knew he couldn't let you go again, at least not unless he apologized for what he has done to you.

"y/n wait." Harry ran up to you grabbing your arm. You turned around looking at him "I need to tell you something." Harry sighed. "I know this is so late and it probably doesn't matter to you, but listen... I'm sorry for bullying you in high school. I was trying to fit in and it was a stupid Idea." Harry looked at you upset face, your arms were crossed which showed you weren't convinced, but he keep going.

"I was trying to hide the fact that I was.. I was in love with you. Y/n I Loved you since we were 18 and didn't notice until I was going on to be a superstar. You don't have to forgive me but I needed to say that."

Harry finished. He breathed a sigh of relief as he finally got what he needed off his chest.

You clicked your tongue as the wheels in your brain turned. "Harry it took you this long to say something." "I know I wanted to so many times but I pushed it aside because I was scared." Harry placed his hand on your shoulder softly looking into your eyes as you looked into his.

"I know it took so fucking long, but just know I mean it. I'm so sorry."

You exhaled scratching your forehead. "Look harry You're lucky I forgive people easily." Harry sighed out softly.

"but don't get comfortable now." You pointed at him as you said that. "You have a lot to make up especially if you want this to go far you know, so don't get comfortable."

Harry nodded. "of course." "Ok..." You started. "Do you want to walk into the wedding together?"

Harry grinned. "Sure." He opened his arms so you can link them together. You snickered as you did. You both walked in together like you both were each other's dates. You both had a lot to talk about, but you were happy to put the past behind you.

----

@harryspirate @kendra233

[felacunti]

I could argue that there are some saving graces about certain female characters in Zeta (aside from Lila, she was a queen thru and thru), but damn they did Fa so dirty and the worst part is that (to me at least) her situation is so weirdly... "real", she wanted to be a pilot like everyone else, but since she's good with kids (and seems to be the only person on this god-forsaken ship who actually gives a fuck about them) and she's a girl everyone pushes her in the direction of being their babysitter, it's always "Fa look after the kids", "Fa, how are the kids" yada yada... and I kind of get why she would settle for the role everyone expects her to accept, everyone is forcing it on her, there doesn't seem to be anyone who would support her own ambitions

maybe I'm just copying with this interpretation tho

also... why the fuck are those kids even there? i get that in MSG 0079 the kids didn't really have anywhere to go so they just stayed on the White Base but those two? why the fuck did Quattro even bring them on if he's not looking after them or taking them anywhere??? (still haven't finished Zeta, but I doubt that's gonna get answered)

sorry for rambling

sorry if this spoils zeta for you but youre looking around at posts about it so i guess it doesnt bother you much.

so heres my thing about the female characters in zeta, right? their saving graces are almost all conduits for them to be the boosters to male character's arcs. Either Jerid or Kamille. Even Haman, who by all means is the female character in Zeta with the most practical affect on the narrative and ability to voice her opinions and thoughts, is often framed via Char. Its a serious consistent issue. Reccoa is a sexual assault survivor and its pulled out as a surprise reveal in the last 5 seconds of her life and it retroactively makes her portrayal... kind of disgusting? that being said Fa does get it horrendously and she singlehandedly kind of undoes whatever progressive statements about feminism zeta tries to make. like, there are a lot of characters in the series with being misogynists as a character flaw, which is fine. but the idea that women shouldn't pilot mechs is kind of... right? In the narrative. The female pilots are either waifish hang-ons who suck (Sarah, Fa, Reccoa, Mouar) or they're irrational, impossible to control and prone to fits (Four, Rosamia, Reccoa). The exceptions are Lila (competent but killed because of the Jerid Woman Event Horizon), Haman (a Newtype and therefore a secret third gender), and Emma (does not care about her femininity which is supposed to be tragic (also gay! which is some great rep there.)) When Katz is a bad pilot, the series goes "Ok Katz get it together or you'll die." but he keeps getting to go. There's a period of time where Bright just says "lol no Fa is not launching in the Methuss, she fucking sucks."

ALSO YEAH I DO NOT KNOW WHY SHINTA AND QUM WERE THERE? like i kinda like them they were obviously introduced for levity and it was well needed but like. lmao.

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [two] // daisy johnson

summary: same as the first chapter – it was too long to post in one so this is the remainder of it!

part one | part three | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

"What do you think?"

I raised an eyebrow as I poked my head inside the van, glancing around at the cramped space that had stupidly been turned into a living space. There was also, weirdly enough, a computer in the corner which made absolutely no sense.

"I think I have no idea what I'm looking at," I admitted, before looking to an excited Skye beside me. "What is this?"

She bit her lip to contain her grin as she patted the van's door proudly. "This is my new rig."

I almost laughed. "You're kidding."

Her smile lessened. "I'm not."

Now I definitely laughed. "Skye, c'mon, be serious. Whose van is this?"

Her smile disappeared as she clenched her jaw with annoyance. "It's mine. Sorry it isn't fancy enough for you, your majesty."

When I realised she was serious, I lost my smile and looked between the van and her. "Skye, where the hell did you get a van? You can't even drive!"

Clearly holding in her anger, she began to push past me and slide the doors shut. "He said you wouldn't get it," she mumbled to herself, but I heard.

"He?" I questioned with raised eyebrows. "Who the hell is he?"

"Miles," she snapped, stopping moving and looking to me. "Miles is the one who got me the van. He said it was a bad idea to show you and clearly he was right, Y/N. You took one look at it and laughed. He was right."

I smiled tightly, trying not to get worked up at the mention of Skye's new friend. She'd befriended this 'Miles' guy within the past few months and wouldn't stop meeting with him and his friends. He was in the grade above us, but just like her, he'd skip class and do God knows what.

Ever since she'd been hanging around them, she'd been standoffish and distant. She wouldn't contact me as much when she ran away, and she'd been skipping school more often than usual. They were clearly a bad influence on her, but she reassured me she was in control of her own life and knew what she was doing. Being the idiot I am, I fell for her pretty smile and convincing eyes, but this was getting too far now.

"No offence, Skye, but I wouldn't start listening to a guy who can't even make it to class on time," I said to her with a hint of annoyance. "Why do you need a van anyway?"

"Why not?" she countered with her arms crossed. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm finally taking responsibility. Growing up."

My expression softened. "I've never once said that you had to do either of those things."

"You don't need to say it," she mumbled, looking down at her shoes with a frown. "I know you think it. Everyone does."

I stepped forward, resting a hand on her shoulder and finding her eyes with mine. "Where is this coming from? Skye, I have never thought that. All I've ever wanted for you is to be safe and happy. I'm just worried."

She shrugged me off. "Well, now you don't need to be. I've got this."

"You're seventeen, you should be in school studying, not staying in a van," I said tiredly. "You've been missing so much. How are you gonna graduate?"

She avoided my eyes. "That's another thing... I've been thinking and, well, I don't think I want that."

I widened my eyes with disbelief. "What?"

Still avoiding my eyes, she continued, "I don't think I want to graduate."

I was too surprised to find words so quickly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"How can you not want to graduate?!" I asked suddenly, finding my words. "It's what you do! It's what we all do!"

She met my eyes with apologetic ones. "It's what you do, Y/N. I don't want to be at a place that makes me feel like shit. I can't keep pretending I fit in when I don't."

"This isn't you," I told her sternly. "We were supposed to graduate together. You're not stupid, Skye. I can help you study. You can't just give up."

"I'm not," she said with certainty. "I finally know what I'm doing. That's all."

I squeezed my fists together to contain my frustration. "And what's that?"

"The Rising Tide–"

"For fuck's sake!" I cut her off, before hitting the van door with frustration.

"Miles has taught me a lot!" she defended. "They do a lot of good, Y/N! I just want to be apart of something bigger. Something that can help me help others. And something that can help me find my family. My real family."

I clenched my jaw, knowing I was too late in convincing her otherwise. Whatever Miles and the others had told her about their stupid hacking group had worked – she was dropping out of high school and there was nothing I could do to stop her.

"You're gonna be going to university and we both know I can't afford it," she said gently. "We couldn't stay together forever, Y/N. And my foster family definitely don't care what happens to me. I don't fit in anywhere."

I looked to her with glassy eyes. "You fit in with me. You always have."

She pursed her lips as she stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't make that clear enough," I added bitterly.

"That's not it and you know it," she muttered, shaking her head. "I have to do this. I have to figure myself out. Alone."

I felt stupid for letting her do everything she did leading up to this point. If I had just tried a little harder, maybe things could have been different.

"You're not alone though, are you?" I asked rhetorically. "You've got your new pals at the Rising Tide. It's their damn fault you're doing all this."

"They're not as bad as you think!"

"You've changed because of them!" I argued back. "They created a barrier between you and I. It's because of them that you've... that you've..."

"What?" she snapped, glaring at me. "That I'm finally thinking for myself?!"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and straightened up. "Forget it, just– forget it. I've got a midterm to study for."

She snickered harshly. "Of course. Don't want me slowing you down."

I stayed quiet and turned around to leave. I couldn't see past my anger as I left her with her stupid van. 

Of course, the two of us had been friends for a lot longer than that silly argument, so I was quick to realise how much I actually cared about her and her life, and wanted to apologise for how harsh and unsupportive I sounded.

The next day after school, I decided to head over to her foster family's place to hopefully talk to her. I'd had enough time to think about it and knew I was a lot more levelheaded now that I'd had some space.

I knocked on the front door and waited before an older blonde woman answered. I recognised her as Skye's foster mum, Sally.

"Hi, Mrs Collins," I greeted with a smile. "I'm looking for–”

"Mary doesn't live here anymore," Sally cut me off instantly, surprising me.

I had almost forgotten that Skye's foster family knew her as the name she was given by her orphanage – Mary Sue Poots.

"She doesn't?" I asked with confusion. "But I thought–"

"Goodbye, Miss Y/L/N," Sally interrupted, before slamming the door in my face.

I blinked with confusion before turning around and walking down the steps. It had been a while since I last visited Skye at home. In fact, she made sure I never visited her at home. I guess now I knew why. But then where the hell was she living?

As I walked around the neighbourhood trying to think about where Skye could be, I saw a familiar van parked up on the side of the street and put the pieces together.

Guiltily, I approached the van and sucked up a deep breath before knocking on the side. It didn't take long for the door to slide open and reveal Skye herself.

"Hey," I said quietly, noticing her surprised expression. "Can we talk?"

She licked her lips nervously and nodded, before moving to the side to let me in. I climbed inside and watched as she shut the door before settling on the seat in front of me. I looked around and realised the little details I hadn't noticed yesterday. The little things that made this place Skye's and nobody else's.

"I'd offer you a drink, but I don't have any," she joked to lighten the mood, and I couldn't help but crack a small smile.

I breathed out before meeting her eyes. "Skye, I'm really sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have reacted like that. If I had known that this was your home, I–"

"You didn't know," she said, shaking her head with embarrassment. "I didn't want you to know. It's my fault."

I pursed my lips, watching as she looked away with pink cheeks. It hurt me to know that she was embarrassed when I didn't care about any of this, I just cared about her.

"I want you to know that I respect your decision to join the Rising Tide," I said gently, making her look up. "If it's what you want, you should go for it."

"It is," she said with certainty.

I chewed on the inside of my mouth before asking, "Is there no way you can finish high school though? Graduate with me?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to, Y/N."

"But that's the bare minimum," I pleaded. "Hacking isn't a lifestyle. You need to work, too, and I can promise you that most places won't look to hire a high school dropout."

She leaned back in her seat and shrugged nervously. "Miles isn't graduating either. And he's got some friends who haven't graduated. They're all doing fine."

I looked down and pinched the bridge of my nose to contain my frustration. I promised myself I wouldn't argue with her, but the mention of her other friends was like a trigger.

"What now?" she asked with annoyance, realising I was annoyed. "You clearly have something to say about them."

"It doesn't matter," I said, biting my tongue.

"Sure it doesn't," she played along.

"It doesn't," I agreed.

"Yeah, and the Hulk isn't bright green," she said sarcastically.

I looked up and glared at her. She stared back challengingly, practically daring me to speak. So, I did.

"Your new hacker friends are the reason you're making these choices," I told her straight. "They're the reason you're making a huge mistake. The reason you're dropping out. And for what? So you can hack like them?"

She rolled her eyes. "I know you look down on us, but we're more than that."

"Skye, I don't give a shit about them!" I shouted without meaning to. "I only care about you!"

"Then stop talking crap about my friends!" she returned angrily.

"Why do you care about them so much?!"

"They gave me a place to stay when I had nowhere! They made me feel like I belonged!"

I frowned, anger replacing with hurt. "I always offered you a place to stay. I only ever wanted you to be safe. You never needed to be different with me. You belonged. Always."

She swallowed hard and looked away from me ashamedly. "Well it doesn't matter anymore. I'm leaving."

I breathed out deeply. "School? Our town? Leaving what?"

"All of it," she said quietly. "I don't expect you to understand."

I looked down to my fumbling hands, a tear slipping from my eye. I had never felt so angry at someone before in my life. She was treating me like I was a stranger, as if I wasn't somebody who knew her inside out. She was treating me like she treated everyone else except her new friends. And I couldn't deal with it anymore.

"Fine," I said, before moving to open the door. I jumped out her van and didn't spare her a glance as I said, "Have fun with the rest of your life. Sorry I didn't care enough."

She didn't say anything and I didn't expect her to. With a broken heart and headache, I left and didn't bother turning back.

—

"What do you mean she's run away?"

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Mr Lock said apologetically. "Her foster family got the note this morning. They're doing what they can to find her. She always turns up, you know that."

I knew her family didn't care if she was gone or not, so I knew Skye definitely wouldn't be found. Unlike usual, Skye hadn't contacted me before leaving, so something told me she wouldn't be turning up.

Our argument was over a week ago and I hadn't seen her since. It had been eating away at me the way we'd left things, but I couldn't find it in myself to face her. I had no idea what to say anyway. And I wasn't sure when she was planning on leaving, so I didn't think it was important right now. Clearly, I was wrong.

"I just thought you should know," Mr Lock said with a nod. "The police will come by soon to get a statement from you."

As usual. Except this time, I actually had no idea where she was.

I nodded, my mouth going dry. "Thank you... can I go now?"

He nodded hesitantly. "Of course."

I left his office and headed straight outside behind the bleachers where nobody could hear or see me. The first thing I did was try to ring Skye, but there was no answer and no way to leave a voicemail. I tried several times, hoping she'd pick up, but she didn't. And that's when I remembered the burner phone.

Immediately pulling it out, I turned it on and saw the message from her appear on my screen. I was quick to open it, my heart racing like it did every time she ran away. I knew she wasn't coming back this time though.

Hey, Y/N. I know you probably hate me, but I felt like I owed you this. I said I was leaving and I have. I can't tell you where. And I'm not good at goodbyes. I've had too many of them and I couldn't bring myself to say it to you. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I never wanted to, but I guess some things are inevitable, huh? I've managed to do it all my life, this isn't any different. I'm just sorry if I hurt you in the process. Anyway, this is pretty long and I don't even know if you read it, but yeah. I'm sorry. I wish things could have been different.

The text ended there and I found myself rereading it to myself over and over, her words imprinted in my mind. I knew we'd argued and exchanged hurtful words, but I never in a million years thought she'd leave without saying goodbye. I thought I meant more to her than this. But no. I was just another foster family she ran away from. And I wasn't so sure I'd see her again.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging nor trying to romanticize yandere behavior. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of bullying, toxic relationship, violent behavior, murder, sexual scenes, paranoia leading to mental blackouts, miscarriage, suicide attempt, mental disorders and death are contained within this post. Read at your own discretion.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚒

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙰𝚞𝚐𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟾𝟻 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟼'𝟶 𝙵𝚃.

𝙰𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□90%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚂𝚞𝚋𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

•𝙷𝚊𝚛𝚖𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝

•𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝

•𝚃𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚍𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗

•𝙸𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛

•𝙴𝚡𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝

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Mingi was someone who always kept to himself, never wanting to draw any kind of attention.

Unfortunately for him, he got a lot of attention while he was studying in university, and not the good kind.

He accidentally bumped into one of the jocks at school, and from that moment on, his life was hell.

He was constantly belittled, shoved to the floor, his locker filled with vicious and cruel messages ranging from "freak" to "kill yourself."

Mingi often just sighed and continued his day, as if this was totally normal.

It's not that he didn't understand what was going on or didn't care.

He was just too awkward and scared to stand up to himself.

So he often just came home, feeling hopeless and in despair.

Many times he hardly ate and would end up crawling inside his blankets and cry himself to sleep.

Even the few people he talked to stopped associating themselves with him out of fear of becoming the bullies' next target.

So Mingi resigned himself to being alone and to think no one would ever care about him....

Until you came along.

You had recently transferred to his school and one of the first things you saw was the poor sandy hair colored giant get punched in the stomach by his locker.

You were so disgusted and sickened by their behavior that you did not hesitate to go over and make sure he was all right.

"Hey, do you need help?" You asked as you helped him get up.

"I I'm fine...t-thanks.." Without another word, he left you standing there, running off to his next class.

He thought that'd be the last time he saw you but during lunch break, you made it a point to look for him and talk to him.

"Are you feeling better?"

Mingi looked up at you with wide eyes, wondering if it really was him you were talking to.

"Y-yeah...I'm fine. T-thanks"

Smiling at him, you sat next to him, taking out your lunch while trying to make conversation with him.

All throughout it, Mingi seemed agitated, scared almost.

You felt really bad and asked him if something was bothering him.

Sighing he told you:

"Look, I appreciate your concern, but I think it's best if you stay away from me.... I don't want them to hurt you because of me..."

You saw the sadness in his eyes, the loneliness behind them and that made you want to stay with him even more.

"What's your name?" You asked what you had really wanted to know since the beginning.

"Song Mingi." He answered you.

Grinning at him, you held out your hand.

"Well Song Mingi, I'm L/N Y/N. Your soon to be new best friend."

Mingi's mouth dropped at your words, he couldn't possibly believe you were serious.

But you were and not only did you become his closest friend, you also became his protector.

Unlike him, you were fearless, vivacious, outgoing and spontaneous.

And Mingi began to admire you a lot for it....

More than admired, he began to worship you, falling deeply in love with you.

For once in his life, he was happy, truly happy and filled with joy.

Instead of crying himself to sleep, he went to bed all excited to spend the next day with you.

And of course you two spent a lot of time together, since he became your math tutor cause you were the absolute worst with numbers.

You were thankful that Mingi was so patient and caring towards you.

He never showed any signs of frustration or annoyance even after explaining the equation to you about 20 times.

"Y/N. Pay attention or you won't ace the test." He often told you, adding a little pinch to your nose or cheek to get you to focus.

He also loved just talking to you during these sessions.

Obviously being your best friend, he also ended up picking up on what sort of things you liked in a guy.

He would often observe you at school or while you two were out.

One time he even read through a few of your messages with one of your other friends from your old school.

It was exactly what Mingi needed to know, he now had a glimpse of the type of boyfriend you wanted.

And for you.....he'd end up becoming that boyfriend.

So while you were in spring break, he prepared everything.

He got rid of his cardigans and vests, trading them for leather and jean jackets.

He ended up cutting his hair differently and started wearing tighter fitting pants that accentuated his thick thighs.

So when you saw him again, it was a complete 180° from the shy, nerdy boy you knew.

"Whoah! Who are you and what have you done with my best friend?"

You weren't going to lie, Mingi did look very attractive.

You were glad though that he was still the cute, adorable and somewhat clumsy boy he was when you first met him.

Because that's the Mingi you knew and loved.

And you wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

It was after finals that Mingi decided to ask you out.

You were both out celebrating the fact you both passed when he popped the question:

"Y/N will you go out with me?" He suddenly blurted out.

You were taken aback, but said yes nonetheless.

Mingi was so happy.

He was extremely devoted to you as a boyfriend, always saying yes to you and going along with whatever it was you wanted.

Anything you said, he would do it.

"Anywhere you want to go is fine with me."

"Anything you want is fine with me."

You thought it was really sweet at first, he really wanted to make you happy.

But after almost a year of dating, it kinda started to get annoying.

It bothered you that he never seemed to have an opinion of his own.

You actually snapped at him one day while planning a date out.

"Can't you freaking decide for yourself once?"

Mingi just whipped his head at you, unable to comprehend why you were yelling at him.

"Do you not even care about me or this relationship? Cause honestly it seems like you're not actually putting effort into it and if it's like that, why am I even wasting my time on you?"

Mingi got really scared when you began walking out the door, he pleaded with you to stay, to talk through it.

"I'll do anything! Y/N please just don't leave me! What do you want me to do?!" He begged as he got on his knees.

"I want you to leave me alone!"

Alone......that word struck a chord in Mingi's head.....alone.

No....he couldn't go back to being alone...go back to the cold world that he was used to.

He began hyperventilating, his head was spinning and it was pounding like there was no tomorrow.

He doesn't remember much after that. All he remembers was the annoying knocking at the door.

He remembers opening it and seeing a random salesperson there....

But after that, it's all a big black faze, and when he finally came to his senses....

He was covered in blood, and a bludgeoned corpse was sprawled across the kitchen floor.

Although he was panicking, Mingi knew that you could not find out about this.

So he quickly got to work and cleaned up all traces of blood and managed to get rid of the body with no one seeing him.

He was so confused about what happened and panicking about if you found out, that he didn't hear you come in the house until you literally stood in front of him.

He instantly got on his knees and hugged your waist.

"Baby I was so scared that you left me forever! Please I'm sorry I made you feel like I don't care about you, I do! I fucking love you so much, and I promise I'll try harder....

Just for you..."

You felt so bad seeing him, and truly you loved him and felt like it was a petty thing to get mad about.

You pulled him up and reassured him that you weren't mad anymore and that you were too much in love with him to leave.

Mingi felt so relieved. He couldn't even begin to fathom what would happen if he did lose you.

He'd probably go insane.

True to his word, Mingi did try harder to get rid of that habit of just following what you said like a little puppy, and would now start expressing himself more.

Now the problem was he went the complete opposite direction: now he seemed to question your every decision and it would lead to small tiny banters between you two.

One time you got tired of him making a fuss over the fact you were spending so much time with a classmate that it turned really ugly.

"We're working on a project Mingi! Nothing else!" You shouted at him.

"What do you need to be going to his house though and staying til late hours of the night? Why can't you two do it here?!"

"Because you end up distracting us both and throwing passive aggressive words to him." You were exhausted from all the screaming by now you were losing your patience.

"Are you sure it's not because you're just whoring yourself out with them?" He didn't mean for those words to come out...but they did.

And you didn't mean to get so angry to the point of slapping him, but you did and that's when it hit you that you went too far.

You both stood there stunned at what happened, Mingi more hurt than anything by your actions, while you felt ashamed of yourself.

You lifted your hand against the very person you were protecting at first.....and now you hated yourself for hurting him like his past bullies.

Ashamed and full of guilt, you turned away and began walking out.

"Wait no! Y/N please! It's ok! It was my fault! I shouldn't have said that! Please let's just work it out!"

"No Mingi! I can't! I..... I need a break."

Mingi's world came crumbling down when you said that. He went into a slight catatonic state as he watched you walk away.

Once he regained his senses, he ran after you, desperate to bring you back, running around aimlessly through the dark streets and alleys, calling out for you but you were nowhere to be seen.

"Get lost you dirty bastard." A passerby rudely shoved him out of the way.

In a matter of seconds, Mingi's eyes darkened, his fist clenched at his side as rage now coursed through his body.

He turned his head to look back at the stranger who was now walking away.

Smirking, Mingi pulled out the switchblade he was carrying in his pocket before creeping quietly to the man.

Someone had to pay the price and feel the wrath and despair he felt at losing his goddess......and he found them.

It had been roughly a month since you last saw Mingi and although you hated to admit it, you missed him. But you knew you had to stay away for his sake.

But things don't go as planned and you soon found out you were going to have to see him sooner than you thought...

Because you were now pregnant with his child and you had to let him know.

You were so nervous about telling him, your hand trembled as you opened the door to the apartment you used to share with Mingi.

You quietly stepped inside, too afraid to call out for him just yet.

But then you heard some weird noises coming from the bedroom, your heart somewhat dropping when you distinguished what sounded like moans and panting.

You could also make out Mingi's deep voice calling out your name.

Opening the door open, your hand flew to your mouth, semi-muffling your sharp gasp as you took in the scene of Mingi fucking some random girl with her face covered on the bed you two shared not too long ago.

"What the fuck Mingi?!" You exclaimed in utter disgust and betrayal.

"Y/N! I can explain!" All color drained from Mingi's face as he pulled himself out of the girl and quickly dressed himself.

You couldn't bear to stay there another moment, you just ran out of there once again.

But you didn't get far because Mingi swiftly caught up to you and enraptured you in his arms.

"Don't touch me! You're disgusting! You liar! You cheater!" You tossed and writhed around as you tried to escape his grasp, while Mingi tried to hold you still and trying to talk to you.

You felt an immense pain run through your stomach at that moment, your body becoming paralyzed as some weird and excruciating torment bursted in you.

Mingi noticed as well how you clutched your stomach and had difficulty breathing so he wasted no time in taking you to the hospital.

You woke up hours later, late at night, a nurse by your side and Mingi on the other, his hand holding onto yours as tears poured from his eyes.

"What happened?" You immediately asked, your hand instinctively going to your belly.

The nurse explained with sorrow how you had lost the baby, apologizing profusely to you, knowing you were probably in pain.

You went berserk when she told you that, first you denied it, then you began screaming while trying to pull off the IVs attached to you.

Mingi tried to calm you down, but instead he made things worse with his presence.

"This is all your fault! If it wasn't because of you, my baby would be alive!"

Those words cut Mingi deep inside, you killed him immediately with them.

Other nurses rushed in to calm you down as one of them pulled Mingi away for his protection and for yours.

You were numb for the next few days, refusing to see anyone and especially not Mingi, you gave strict orders not to let him in.

You were planning on never seeing him again.

The very day you were released from the hospital though, he was the first person you encountered while you were on your way home.

"Y/N?" He asked, startling you when he came out from the corner.

Your feet shifted slowly, almost losing balance on the small step on your front door.

"What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear I never wanted to see you." Not wanting to waste another minute, you quickly punched in your passcode.

"Y/N baby you don't mean that! I love you! And you love me!"

You let out a dry and haughty laugh at that.

"You? Love me? Is that why you were fucking some whore behind my back?"

"I swear she didn't mean anything! And I made her cover her face because I was thinking of you the entire time..."

You rolled your eyes at that, feeling absolutely disgusted.

"But then I realized she was to blame for everything and so I got rid of her so I can make you happy, forgive me and we could start again."

You halted your actions when he said that.

"Mingi...what do you mean you got rid of her?"

If his last words disturbed you, now you were absolutely horrified as he calmly told you how he mutilated her body and discarded her remains in a lake outside of the city.

You actually felt sick and nearly threw up right then and there.

"Mingi.....what..... you're insane! How could you-?"

Mingi couldn't understand why you were upset.

"Don't you see? I did it for you Y/N. Everything I've ever done is for you."

Now it dawned on you, the person you've ever loved was sick, extremely sick and needed help.

"Mingi.....don't come near me again....stay away....seriously..."

And once again another struggle between you two ensued, you wanting to run away while he held onto you for dear life.

"Stop Mingi! Let me go! I don't love you anymore!"

The spinning in his head started once again, his vision becoming hazy, he could hear his own heartbeat resonating in his ears, his hand shook violently as it reached for an all too familiar object he kept hidden in his pocket....

Everything turned dark and blinding....

But when he came back, there he was, staring in shock at your lifeless body, a fresh, clean cut running all across your neck, blood still spurting out and staining his hands.

"Oh my God! What have I done?!" Mingi cried out, wailing and screaming erratically at the thought that he had just murdered his soulmate with his own hands.

He couldn't bear the thought of living without you, he just couldn't....

And so he picked up the very tool he used to kill you and held up to his own neck....

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Sam Wescott NSFW Alphabet.

Sooo after doing Buddy Swanson alphabet of course I had to do one for Sam. Similar to Buddy I consider myself the Sam Wescott expert, again I started his tag on Ao3 and have written him the most so far so fucking here we are! I love him, the sweetest and softest slasher I am into, here we go!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The best word I have to describe Sam Wescott is concerned. He is so concerned about you and your comfort, always. He will do anything you need on your come down. He would run a bath, would get you anything you wanted to eat, change the sheets if you so requested, he doesn't want you to do anything, he's got it under control and he would INSIST. Seriously you want something just name it and it is happening. Would love to have a shower with you post sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands for sure, no doubt about it. So much experience working outdoors, very skilled with them, rough and well worked, he isn’t the most confident guy but when it comes to his hands he is. They make him feel capable. Loves to touch you, run his hands over you, loves to feel you up with them and let’s be real the man is great at fingering.

Now for you he loves your lips, man is WEAK for kissing, will sometimes find himself staring at them while talking with you, loves the taste of you, just cannot get enough of kissing you or of you kissing him well basically anywhere. The sweet things you can say with them and listen he can’t help it if he is obsessed with how they look and feel wrapped around his cock.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Okay so I totally have this idea that a big unexpected fave of his that he never anticipated liking so much until it happened is having you make a mess of him. Like blow and jerk him off and make him cum on his own stomach and then lick it up and then his refractory period is basically non-existent.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Okay so one of the hottest things or ideas to him is you forgoing underwear in public and letting him know in some way that you have. Whether taking his hand and letting him feel or maybe a racy picture sent or flashing him with no one around at that moment and holy shit he is achingly hard.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

More than you would think! For a guy who seems so nervous and unassuming you’d think he wouldn’t have much experience but Sam has been around a bit. Much more down for a casual hook-up than you would think. Typically parties and get together where he has had some drinks to help settle some of those nerves. But more importantly he is so enthusiastic and willing to please.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You on top. He loves it so much, to have you over him, being able to feel you up and help pull you down onto him, he loves you being able to take it at your own pace and use him however you want to find your release. Totally in awe of you riding him, put your hands on his chest as you do, lean down and kiss him or whisper things to him and fuck he won’t be able to hold back from bucking up into you.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Oh the boy can do both, when he gets all flustered he is much more prone to laughing and making some jokes, but take my word for it, Sam can be so insanely sensual, surprisingly can be great at maintaining the mood. Doesn’t take himself too seriously thankfully.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Yeah totally matches, light and soft curls, doesn’t let it grow out much, trims it semi often, has never shaved and certainly never waxed and has no intention of it. Might try shaving it if you wanted him to but he wouldn’t do it unprompted. Overall great personal hygiene.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ugh romance thy name is Sam Wescott. Like hot damn he can be the most romantic fucker you have ever come across. It is ridiculous. Would touch you with such care and reverence and would say some of the sweetest things. Wouldn’t be every time but you’d never, ever have to ask for romance from Sam.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Totally think that he has a hard time keeping quiet when he does. He just gets so into it. Also totally uses lube, like not lotion, nice lube, totally amps it up for him and I also think he edges himself, not super hard but a few soft edges he’s learned can make his eventual orgasm so much better. Legit just picture poor Sam, one hand over his mouth, eyes shut tight, moaning into his palm as his other hand is slick with lube, fisting his cock, already edged a few times and getting so close he can’t stop the sounds from spilling out? Hot.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Has a few kinks, not all but have some of the biggest.

PRAISE! This man has the biggest fucking praise kink around, both ways. Loves to talk you up so much. Please praise him, tell him what is working and what feels good, nothing gets to him more than you encouraging him vocally.

Body worship. Sam will literally worship every fucking sqaure inch of your body, hands and mouth working in tandem, just positively everywhere until you are a complete puddle. Getting you off gets him off hard.

Denial. Can’t help it, delayed gratification, and you teasing him, frustrating him, gets to him badly, makes him unbelievably hard, and after some good edging he is a total flustered mess and is leaking massive amounts of pre-cum. Is a bit embarrassed he is so into it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Outdoors! Not like he is a huge exhibtioinist just loves being outside, some of his favorite things have happened outside. I headcanon there is this hill at Camp Clear Vista that Sam likes to sit on, can see most of the camp from there, loves to sit there and clear his head, it’s his favorite place. Late at night under the stars, just being out at camp in general, in a tent or a cabin, the forest. Also totally a fan of shower sex.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You wanting him. Showing clear desire and intent, especially if it is some place that you can’t right away. Like you whispering something dirty to him, or feeling him up, a particular look. Oof. He really wants to be wanted and desired so that gets him going like nothing else. Like you being almost desperate for him is perfection. The idea of you clinging to him, tugging on his clothes and almost grinding on him, begging him to just touch you let alone fuck you? He is on you so fast.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Degradation. Like I could not see him having it in him, does not have the heart to engage in extreme degradation. A casual flippant comment in the heat of the moment during a rougher session? Maybe. But you aren’t gonna have him doing some hardcore degrading, sorry he just isn’t that guy. Also any hard pain play either. Making you cry because it feels so good? Yes. Crying from pain? Hard no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh my fucking God! So don’t ask me how or why this got started but this is my strongest held Sam headcanon. I believe that Sam Wescott is GOD-TIER at giving oral. Eating pussy or sucking dick he is too fucking good and why? How?! Not sure. He just is. Maybe it is him being so enthusiastic and willing to please but he is. I think that is what he has the most experience in. Man will stay down there all night for real if that is what you want. Also turns him on a lot, can totally catch him not so subtly grinding against the bed or palming himself while doing it. Has totally just gone down on you and jerked himself off more than once.

So much bigger giver than a receiver, but still loves, loves, loves when you give. Total mess when you do it, barely knows what to do with himself, totally lets you take the lead on that, he is big and knows it but will appreciate however much you try and take. Won’t say it but loves when you gag on it, doesn’t have to say it because it is obvious he loves it from the way his thighs tense and the strained sounds that leave him as he tries to resist fucking into your mouth.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual for fucking sure. Can go faster, a more steady pace but still doesn’t jump to being rough. Work him up enough and beg for it and you can totally get that from him. Can totally get caught up in the heat of the moment and really fuck you. Again a decent mix but typically slower and more sensual.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Usually likes a mid-length session, loves a longer one and is down for quickies but they aren’t his favorite. Most of his interests and kinks lend themselves better to longer sessions. Quickies are great after a healthy and hearty amount of teasing, you tease him for a few hours where he can’t do anything about it when you do get alone it isn’t gonna last super long, he won’t be able to hold himself back.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Again name of the game for Sam is pleasing you so he is totally down to try what you want, open to experiment and risk for you but isn’t gonna suggest it super openly. He does have some spicier interests and leanings but would be worried about opening up about them at the start, it takes a while for him to get comfortable with that.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Depends on how much work you put in beforehand, how much foreplay and how in need he is, how long it has been since you last were together. Can go for three or four with little issue but can be satisfied with just one. The man is fit, young and healthy, what else do you expect?

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Does not own a single toy himself, but would be down to use some with you! I could see his favorite being a bullet vibe, something small yet powerful and precise and using it to great effect on you. Also even though he wouldn’t readily admit it, if you are into it and get into it he could be down with using a paddle.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oooo he likes it a little too much. Typically loves and prefers to be on the receiving end of it but loves to return it. Once he figures out just what gets to you he will use it to his advantage. Likes to see you being flustered in public as opposed to him for once, loves to get you to the point of begging.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Yes dear God, part of why a semi-public hook up is extra risky with him is because he has the hardest time shutting himself up. Again loves to praise and be praised, can’t help saying such sweet things to you, moaning, cursing, grunts of effort just on and on, like damn Sam can you calm down for like a sec? Cover his mouth or gag him for crying out loud, or don’t because he sounds amazing. Will still try to talk when close or cumming but it just ends up breaking apart with his moans. So good.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Oh okay so this is a fun one. I totally think his ears and neck are weirdly sensitive. You wanna see him flushed and flustered as hell and unable to stop himself from grinding against you mid-make out? That is the best way to get it to happen! The thought of it though, you initiate like that. He is sitting at the couch and you come up behind him, wrap your arms around his neck and lean in close, lips brush the shell of his ear and you whisper to him, “Hey Sammy. You busy?” and then you start to kiss his neck and he tenses so quickly. Let your hands start to roam, reach down and palm him through his jeans and ask, “Well?” and feel him up and his eyes would flutter closed and he would arch up into you, a shaky exhale and a laugh as he says “No-I uh, I’m not busy at all.”

And then it is on.

Also he is bi, it took him a long time to accept that about himself and get comfortable with it but he gets there eventually.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Oof so from all the working outside and general working out he is firm, cut, very fucking strong, the view with his shirt off is so good. Okay so for his dick, man is packing heat. I am talking eight point five to nine inches, you wouldn’t guess by looking at him. Totally not the type to brag about it and is aware extra foreplay and prep is usually needed but he loves that so it is all good. Average thickness, circumsized, pretty full balls, a good handful, you know? The sheer amount of pre-cum this man can produce is impressive, actual loads fairly regular, little thin, slightly above average amount, he has a great diet and tastes good.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Down for nearly every single day, fine with around three times a week because the sessions are longer. Would love to wake you up with oral, no better way to start his day, loves a good morning session while you are still in bed together, also quite the fan of some afternoon delight. Can be quite insatiable when prompted right and that side is pulled out of him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Boy he makes sure you are all good but after a really, really long session the boy does get sleepy. Him checking in and making sure you are all good and don’t need anything even with his eyes slipping closed and voice all tired, adorable, endearing, loves to curl up with you to sleep. He can spoon you but loves to be the little spoon, is anyone surprised?

[beautifulterriblequeen]

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!