#post made for a very specific group of people lol
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detectiveposting · 9 months ago
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I'm starting to notice a pattern in what makes a detective show good
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liquidstar · 9 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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14dayswithyou · 3 months ago
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Give Redacted a kiss for me!!!
Do you have any dark/creepy headcanons for Redacted? I’m very curious ^^
✦゜ANSWERED: I know you asked for [REDACTED] specifically, but everything mentioned below could also apply to Ren as well ^^;
cw: mentions of gore, torture, (one line about) cannibalism, NSFW themes, and just general creepy behaviour
I'm sure most people already know about Ren's red room days, but for the newer folks: he used to livestream himself torturing his victims on the dark web. He would also harvest and sell their organs for extra cash.
His red room phase began after a group of upperclassmen started livestreaming themselves bullying people (Angel included) for attention online. If those teens wanted a taste of online fame that badly, Ren would be all too happy to give it to them — especially after he heard all the degrading things they said about Angel during their stream.
Ren has probably sniffed (licked???) Angel's underwear on multiple occasions lmao
He also keeps a bunch of their discarded cups, mugs, bottles, etc. — and on the days when he's feeling especially lonely — Ren likes to put his lips where Angel's would've been and treat it like it's an indirect kiss.
If Angel is fine with it, Ren would be more than willing to carve his name into their skin. He'd have to use an ample amount of his numbing cream though (typically reserved for when he gives himself tattoos and piercings), since he doesn't want them to be in any pain.
Similarly, he'd also be willing to carve their name into his skin as well — as many times as Angel would want. But he already has multiple tattoos of their name on his skin, so.... gksgsjj
I'm sure everyone already knows this, but Ren has an entire shrine dedicated to Angel. He keeps all his sentimental and stolen items there.
Ren genuinely has no empathy for anyone other than Angel, so if they were to ask him to murder his own mother (or his sister, his best friend, etc.) and bring back their heart, he'd do it with a smile on his face.
Because he has no empathy, Ren would probably enjoy watching snuff films like it's any other B-tier horror film. To him, it's just more research material on how he can get rid of his competition.
I've mentioned this in the past, but Ren has jacked off to the thought of Angel while in the library lol
I made a post back in 2022 that mentioned how Ren would willingly offer up any of his body parts to a cannibal!Angel, and I think the point still stands!!
He likes to put Angel's stolen laundry on his body pillow and rut into/hump it 😟
I once mentioned that Ren would slap a barcode sticker on his sledgehammer to make it look less... questionable whenever he carries it around in broad daylight — but alongside that, I think he'd also carry around some tools and an unopened can of paint to make it seem like he's just doing renovations. In reality, he'd probably force his victims to drink paint or gargle nails teehee
Builder AU except Ren mistook a body for plywood??? Why is he hammering so many nails into them?? Why is he feeding it into a wood chipper???
Builder AU except Ren gives Angel a different meaning to getting nailed and railed???????? Jackhammering???????? Getting screwed sideways????? KGJDSGNK It's 2AM I'm losing da plot now T_T I'll shut up
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5sospenguinqueen · 6 months ago
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Growing Pains Pt 2 | Oscar Piastri x Reader
Summary: Oscar thought leaving was the best thing for you, but quickly realised he cannot function without you.
Warnings: Swearing. Fluff. Suggestive content.
2024 season. Childhood sweethearts. No facelaim, just rando Pinterest pics
This acc just ended up being Landoscar fluff because I consumed too much of them after Silverstone lol
F1 Masterlist
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mclaren just posted
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mclaren oscar’s post race interviews #bahraingp 
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mclaren please enjoy some clips of our aussie talking about the one aspect of his life NOT involved with his job
→ user1 did mclaren just hard launch a relationship?
→ user2 no because why did they post clips that specifically don’t mention a name
→ user3 yes but the familiarity of the way he’s talking about this girl must mean it’s one he’s known since he was 14???
danielricciardo caught simping in 4k
thisisnotyn oscar sweaty got me feeling some kind of way 
charles_leclerc oh god, that goofy smile is back. i know what that means
→ maxverstappen1 he’s going to start yapping more than i do
→ user4 what do you know?!
alex_albon mate, i’m not going to lie, i don’t think we can defend you from this anymore
→ oscarpiastri you sent me memes of my face. you have never defended me
→ georgerussell63 join the club. wait until he sends you reaction gifs 
→ landonorris i love getting those 
YourUserName pookie 
→ user5 um, is she calling oscar pookie?
→ user6 well, it’s not going to be lando. he was only in one of the clips 
→ user7 idk, we don’t know what happened between them. it could’ve been a bad breakup and she might be trying to piss them off
→ landonorris ew, no. it’s not me. they made up weeks ago btw. no way osco would’ve lasted this long without his yn
→ YourUserName what do you mean ew! you’d be lucky to have me
→ danielricciardo no he wouldn’t
oscarpiastri i also talked a lot about my performance in the race
→ landonorris and where is that footage, huh??? funny how it doesn’t exist 
→ oscapiastri yn says you’re not allowed to tag along to date night anymore because you insulted both of us 
→ landonorris :(
→ user8 what do you mean he tagged along on date night?
→ user9 why are we skipping past the fact that lando confirmed that they’re back together
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YourUserName just posted
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YourUserName ladies, get a boyfriend who looks at you the way Oscar looks at Lando (actually, can you get me one first because mine seems to be broken) 
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oscarpiastri whoa, you told me i was a handsome boy. that photo doesn’t look like a handsome boy 
→ YourUserName some people are into the serial killer eyes. not me though, that’s why i’m asking the fans to find me a new bf
→ logansargeant i’ll help
→ user10 we know which side logan is choosing in the divorce 
landonorris how does it feel to know that your boyfriend likes me more 
→ YourUserName i know how to cut brake lines
→ landonorris 😰😰
→ mclaren yn, please don’t threaten our drivers
→ YourUserName hey, i’ll take them both out if they don’t end their affair 
→ oscarpiastri and here i was thinking you would cut his brake lines so i could get on the podium instead 
→ YourUserName sure, we can go with that
user11 can we take a moment to enjoy the fact that they’ve been back together for 4 months and he’s still letting her bully him
→ YourUserName i’m riding the guilt trip until the very end 
→ oscarpiastri i love you
→ YourUserName i know
→ landonorris but not as much as he loves me! 
→ YourUserName i know where you sleep
→ landonorris yeah, with your boyfriend!
→ oscarpiastri don’t tell the internet that! 
danielricciardo lando used to look at me that way
→ YourUserName i think we should start a spurned wags group
→ danielricciardo i’ll bring the wine
→ YourUserName i’ll bring the lightning mcqueen crocs
→ liamlawson30 can i join?
oscarpiastri sweetheart, you know you’re the light of my life
→ YourUserName didn’t feel that way when you guided lando away from a puddle and let me put my foot right in it
→ oscarpiastri i gave you my socks! 
→ YourUserName they were sweaty
→ oscarpiastri it’s all i had… 
→ mclaren yn, please stop bullying him. we can hear him crying from his driver’s room
→ user12 no because the fact that the majority of mclaren admin’s online interactions are just begging yn to behave 
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oscarpiastri just posted
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oscarpiastri when you say date night and she says I’m not putting pants on 
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YourUserName thank you for sharing your pizza with me after i burnt mine <3
→ oscarpiastri i can’t wait to share more with you
landonorris did she hide in your neck at the scary parts 
→ oscarpiastri no she fucking laughed at the way he was running
→ landonorris you cuddled into her neck at the scary parts, didn’t you 
→ oscarpiastri i plead the fifth
→ YourUserName it’s okay, princess, you know i’ll always protect you 
logansargeant no because they had their ‘date night’ 3 days ago and the paintings they did of each other are hanging in their bathroom, and when i tell you they were a shock to the system
→ user13 logan, show them to us, please
YourUserName it’s not my fault that it’s hard to keep pants on when you’re around 
liked by oscarpiastri
→ mclaren we talked about this 
→ landonorris my eyes! 
→ user14 @ aussiegrit come get your kids
→ YourUserName don’t tag him in it. mark still thinks i’m nice
→ oscarpiastri no, he knows you’re a gremlin
arthur_leclerc not you trying to pretend that you are romantic when you asked me for all of those ideas
→ YourUserName oh really?
→ oscarpiastri i had a whole night planned and you decided you didn’t want to go out!
→ alex_albon no because you really had him stressing
→ georgerussell63 he was even messaging the grid group chat 
→ danielricciardo he had a whole group of guys debating the best alternative to rose petals
→ YourUserName because i don’t like roses 🥹 oh, osc. it was perfect
→ oscarpiastri 🤍🤍
→ user15 anyone else finding this suspicious
charles_leclerc a date night to remember, i’m sure. and not for the lack of pants 
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user1 rough night in the piastri house, he’s upset mom and wifey 
arthur_leclerc welcome to the family, oscar. please don’t bring yn with you
→ YourUserName you’re just jealous that i didn’t want dinner with you 
→ maxverstappen1 wait, i thought i was your favourite. why don’t you want dinner with me?
→ charles_leclerc you are welcome for dinner anytime, yn
→ oscarpiastri see, what you’ve done. now lestappen are fighting. you promised to keep your crushes to yourself
user2 i love how now that oscar is past his rookie year, his true personality of being a gremlin has come out 
→ user3 now that shy oscar has gone we’re seeing just how well he pairs with yn
→ arthur_leclerc and i can guarantee the grid are missing shy oscar. i have had to put up with this since 2021
→ georgerussell63 i can confirm we do
→ logansargeant now you understand why i prefer to be quiet. if you don’t talk, they can’t bully you 
→ georgerussell63 my name on yn’s phone is amelia georgehart 
→ oscarpiastri we’ve been together for years and mine is peestri pants, count yourself lucky
→ YourUserName lando’s is just fucker. 
→ landonorris the full stop included? 
nicolepiastri i have some questions 
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YourUserName just posted
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YourUserName weekends away with you  
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YourUserName thank you for a lovely weekend away from the madness. i could spend forever with you in our little bubble 
→ danielricciardo oh wow so you’re both simps?
→ YourUserName look away! i have a reputation to maintain
→ oscarpiastri no you don’t. you luuuuurve me
landonorris i can’t believe you left me behind 
charles_leclerc remove your head from that poor girl’s shirt. i raised you better than that
pierregasly someone convince kiks to do this with me. she refuses to go camping
→ francisca.cgomes because neither of us would survive sleeping on the ground
→ oscarpiastri neither would yn if not for the fact that we camped in the back garden
→ YourUserName why would i want to go somewhere without a functioning toilet! 
logansargeant where is your shirt. nobody wants to see that 
→ YourUserName i think you’ll find that i did 
→ oscarpiastri she’s a big fan
mclaren please come back, we miss you 
→ oscarpiastri yn says she still has another weekend before she has to return me
→ mclaren we were talking to yn
→ YourUserName miss you too, boo 🧡
→ landonorris why don’t you speak to me like that 
→ YourUserName ‘cause you stole my osc
→ oscarpiastri no one could take me from you 
user4 no because that last pic screams engagement photo and i don't know why
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charles_leclerc just posted
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charles_leclerc i am an incredibly proud father right now  
10,226 comments
oscarpiastri in other words, i convinced the prettiest girl in the world to marry me 
→ YourUserName and now i have the prettiest husband in the world 
user5 how is lando taking oscar looking at someone else that way?
→ landonorris not well
→ danielricciardo he cried the whole day
→ YourUserName that’s why i gave him my flowers
→ landonorris no i earnt those!
→ lilymhe yeah, i still have the bruises! 
user6 miss rabbit has fainted 
YourUserName i enjoyed our father-daughter dance
→ fernandoalo_official @ aussiegrit the monegasque is trying to steal our children
→ oscarpiastri now i’m in trouble with mark
→ YourUserName i’ll make it up to you on our honeymoon
→ oscarpiastri 😳☺️
user6 fuck you to all the bitches who said they wouldn’t last because they’ve never dated anyone else
mclaren what a beautiful couple. i think we need to put those up around MTC
→ YourUserName i think zak would really appreciate them in his office
→ oscarpiastri what makes you think i haven’t already put them up around MTC. gotta keep my wife with me wherever i go
→ YourUserName stop making me giggle 
user7 definition of soulmates 
arthur_leclerc welcome to the family, yn. even though i asked oscar to leave you behind when he was adopted 
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YourUserName just posted
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YourUserName i made something 
10,229 comments
nicolepiastri and an amazing job you did, sweetheart
→ YourUserName i love you 💗
→ user8 nicer to mama piastri than she is to her own husband 
oscarpiastri i helped
→ YourUserName you contributed for like 2 seconds
→ oscarpiastri stop being mean to me or i may fall in love with you 
→ landonorris 2 second wonder
→ YourUserName you would know
charles_leclerc i’m too handsome to be a grandpapa 
→ YourUserName certified gilf 
→ oscarpiastri i cannot believe you made me read that. i thought you were better than this
→ YourUserName whoa, i have never been better than this and you know that but i can blame it on baby hormones this time
→ charles_leclerc and oscar will let you get away with it
→ oscarpiastri damn right. she just had my baby
landonorris does this mean i get the chance to win godfather of the year
→ danielricciardo don’t tell me they actually named you godfather. you can barely keep yourself alive
→ logansargeant yn got to pick me so oscar was given the choice to pick the other
→ oscarpiastri we made the decision together as loving parental unit 
→ YourUserName the decision was made whilst i was high on gas and motherly love 
→ oscarpiastri stop making it sound like i coerced you
→ YourUserName you had your top off! of course i was coerced. piastitties
→ mclaren yn, no
oscarpiastri sweetheart, i have loved you every day since we were 14 and being by your side these past 9 months, watching you go through such a monumental change, only proved that it was possible for me to love you even more. i can’t wait to see our family grow 💕
→ YourUserName i love you so much, oscie. from growing with you to growing our own mini us, i’d go through all the pain again for forever with you
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Hi, guys. If you have requested previously, I promise they're coming. I've just got them added to my list
Baby Fever Angst Series
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@barcelonaloverf1life @rlalliehayes @dullypully @softtina @callsignwidow @luvrrish @fall-bambi @evans-dejong @sadsierra2 @justdreamersdream @spookystitchery @dark-night-sky-99 @majusialikesfastcars @luckyladycreator2 @bborra @mrosales16 @reguluscrystals @tvdtw4ever @alwaysclassyeagle @gigicisneros @spanishcorndogs @thecubanator2 @goldenharrysworld @awritingtree @sbrn0905 @hc-dutch @mxdi0 @buckybarnessweetheart @ironmaiden1313 @dreamercrowd @yourbane @glow-ish @g-l-o-b-e-w-h-o-r-e @leclercsluvs @weekendlusting @urdad-hot @lemon-lav @rosecentury @peachiicherries
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the-tarot-witch22 · 23 days ago
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How you can love yourself more? - Pick a pile
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Pile 1/ Pile 2/ Pile 3
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My Paid Readings | My insta | My year goal post
Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!
Hello everyone ! This is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!
Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!
How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!
I worked really hard on this pile please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!
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Pile 1:
(The cards I got for you - 10 of pentacles, Strength and the moon)
Okay so the very first thing I heard and feel is that you guys need to embrace your true self and leave people pleasing behind, like show who you are to world, if they don't accept it or you, then they are not for you! Your guides were also being like there are things or some lessons that they needs to go on their own, we can give them strength for the same, but what lessons they take it from it, its up to them. I also heard this group might use some self pampering, or self positive affirmation this group might at times worry a lot, I also feel this whoever chose this pile is quite spiritual, or have spiritual powers but some are just not awaken yet, I also feel this group is quite strong, they have gone through numerous things, they just need to accept they are worthy of it ALSO I am hearing stop with letting people who do bare minimum, stop putting them on pedestal, again with knowing self worth, I also FEEL for few of you could have had toxic patterns, friendships or relationships, which left you broken, and what I am hearing is, they made you who you are now, so embrace that part of you, and forgive yourself. You can also love yourself by indulging in activities which gives you pleasure! LIKE yes. this group feel quite rational, the zodiac signs I am getting for this group is air signs, especially Gemini sun/moon/rising, earth signs Capricorn and Virgo. I am also getting that let loose don't control the outcome, go with the flow, live day by day. For some of you I am getting, take proper care of your skin, don't chew on lips, and pick on acne scars. This was so specific and had to write it out for you, I also feel do things which scares you no matter the outcome, just go for it~
That's all pile 1, your pile had such sweet messages and I love it for you guys, love yourself and be you!
Pile 2:
(The cards I got for you - 4 of wands, wheel of fortune, 9 of swords and the 7 of pentacles)
Okay so the very first thing I feel and hear is you won't be unproductive if you take your time off, and have a gap in school year, job or anything related to career, so stop with being so harsh on yourself, I also feel this pile can love themselves more by being on their own, rather than forcing themselves to be with people who aren't meant for them, or they feel they can't quite fit in, I also feel some of you from this pile have to go out of comfort zone, in order to enjoy or love themselves, by not caring what people think of you or for you. I also feel you can love yourself by gifting yourself things you like, if they are out of budget then save for it, it will bring you immense pleasure. I also feel you can love yourself by enjoying and celebrating small moments in your life, or win, you passed your grade? gift yourself something even a small treat, you got a job? you got work done? gift yourself something, not gonna lie, this group is quite materialistic lol, not ALL of you, but SOME of you! hehe, but its not a bad thing at all~ I also feel you should embrace your uniqueness, this group might have body image or self esteem issues, and it makes sense the message i got for not caring what think of you, even if you embarrass yourself remember , no one remembers, be compassionate with yourself, treat yourself the way, you treat others, with kindness, you deserve it, I also feel this group might have a hobby of reading so get back into it or continue doing it, because its a form of self love for you, I also feel, this pile works really hard, so guys? take it easy you will get rewards soon, and don't doom scroll at night take proper sleep at least 7-8 hours! Take care of yourself and keep yourself hydrated! This group zodiac signs is earth signs and fire signs especially virgo energy and sagittarus!
That's all pile 2, you guys need to beeeelieve in yourself! You got this!
Pile 3:
(The cards I got for you - knight of cups, page of cups, and the queen of wands)
Okay so the very first thing i sense from this group is you are emotional too emotional and sometimes you let it affect your decisions (not a bad things) but sometimes, when someone step all over you, you need to show who you are! LIKE A BAD ASS PERSON, hehe, Don't let anyone make you think otherwise and look down on you, I feel this group might have had a friend breakup perhaps? which changed you, random. anyways! Let's start, I feel you guys can love yourself more by travelling, by going on random places, even if its close to your place, it might give you a sort of joy, many of you could be here a sort of beach person, or have water signs, Scorpio, cancer, and Pisces, I also feel you need to let your creativity flow, some of you could be quite artistic here, like very creative or might have sort of nice voice? embrace that. I do feel you have it all but at time when you lose it don't let your emotions guide you, but think from rationality or logical side, it will do you good, I also feel, very random but i think or feel some of you here likes to bake?? anyhow! I feel you can love yourself by journaling, meditating, to clam yourself, by spending time with loved ones, I also feel once you start being more confident and love the way you're, accept yourself, work on your flaws it would be you entering your divine era of power, I also got the message, "that you guys are doing great in your life", even if you think you're not i see you guys thriving. You guys can love yourself by a spa session or a cool bath like do what you gotta do baby!, I also feel you should spend time with animals care for them, it will be beneficial for you!
That's all pile 3! You just need to see yourself that you're the most beautiful and amazing person <3, keep going babies~
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Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3
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reachfolk · 2 years ago
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the way people talk about children's media is so bizarre to me bc they judge adults who watch it by saying "it's for kids" and like buddy...... who do u think makes children's media? hint: it's not children
#LIKE ok i will give the benefit of the doubt and say that there are definitely adults that dont consume more nuanced media#and they can have...... less than ideal levels of reading comprehension!! i watch a lot of cartoons. ive been exposed to many such people#if that's the specific phenomenon ur referring to then fine agreed no discourse to be had here#but its very strange for me (as someone who enjoys children's lit and wants to write for a younger age group in the future)#to see ppl completely fail to recognize the artistic value behind children's media as well as like. the personal impacts it can have??#and obv theyre important for kids but also for adults. ppl who wrote children's lit dont do it out of obligation. there's love there#there's care and thought that goes into it and children's lit can also warrant a meaningful level of analysis worth making about it#like it takes a lot of skill as a creator to convey emotional beats in children's lit where the dark stuff is a lot more subtle#or even if there isn't much dark shit in the story!! stories that are lighthearted and slice-of-life are also important and valuable#and im not saying you personally HAVE to like iy#but its just. weird. like sir have you been exposed to the fascinating concept that different people have different opinions sometimes? 🤯#anyway. i saw a post that made me mad lol esp since like i said i wanna write children's lit some day#so i get peeved when ppl turn their noses at it as if its somehow less valid as an art form#cozy speaks
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supercantaloupe · 2 years ago
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random memories before bed but thinking about my trip to [redacted] and how much my entire group of travelmates wanted absolutely no part of being around me for like 3/4 of the trip. bitches couldn't handle my autistic buzzkill swag ig
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Hi! Could you tell us more about the hoopoe sighting, specifically from the human / social side? Are these bird watchers or regular folk? How did the word spread around? Are people coming in from further (definition pending) away or are these walking distance neighbours? Etc etc etc
Basically, this situation sounds fascinating but I feel like I'm missing as to how this is happening and what social rules have emerged. It doesn't look like there's press coverage or wildlife protection or the threat of a wild animal killing you like with the [sea lion? Seal? That one pinniped] incident. So, how is this all playing out?
ALSO, I'm writing a story in which a non-native bird arrives one day and that manages to bring together some of the neighbours, so this event is personally fascinating to me. Thank you so so much for your reporting.
Sure! So, first off for context, a hoopoe sighting in the UK is not unheard of, but super super rare. It's something that happens like... once every few years, maybe? But normally on the south east coast of England, it is super super super rare to get one in Wales.
Now, whenever you get rare sightings like this, it's mostly bird watchers who care, and who spread the news. Last year a golden oriole turned up in a scrap of woodland on the Gower - much like the hoopoe, just passing through - and within hours of someone spotting it and putting it on a bird forum, the twitchers descended, lol. As luck would have it I was leading a field trip in that woodland on that day, so I got to see about two dozen people turn up, singly or in small groups, over the course of about four or five hours, all armed with proper cameras and also good binoculars. I never saw it in the end, which was a shame, but I know where it was, because I saw the birders gather in a small, hushed crowd at one end as we were getting back on the bus.
In the case of this hoopoe, things are a bit more relaxed. Unlike that golden oriole, it was first spotted earlier this week, and has hung out every day along the beach at roughly the same spot. You can see how unbothered it is by humans, too, look:
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So close! Look how close it came in the photos! And the path it's on is a cycle path; bikes going past merely made it raise its crest momentarily and then carry on feeding. This means it's been a more relaxed affair, because if you want to see it, it's bizarrely easy to find. The first two days had slightly bigger crowds, but by now the QUICKLY GO AND SEE BEFORE IT LEAVES fervour has gone.
With that said, it's still mostly birders and other environmentalists going to see it. I don't think local news has even covered it, funnily enough. A quick search for 'Swansea hoopoe' gets me bird watching websites, birding soc med groups, a YouTube video, and a news article from last year when a hoopoe turned up in an Aberystwyth garden, of all places. The Evening Post really should have mentioned it for local interest, actually, but nothing. Although, of course, that's probably helped keep crowds down.
But environmentalists are definitely sharing the news with each other lol, so there's that (especially on the local scene). WE are all very excited. Of the little crowd of about 10 people there today, most had proper cameras. Several were discussing RSPB sites. Many had English accents, which suggests they travelled in to see it (although of course that's not definite). So, it's mostly a specialist crowd, interspersed with locals who stop to see what everyone is staring at.
The difference with the walrus, though, is I think partly the level of exoticism (most people don't know what a hoopoe is, but have seen birds; by contrast, they do know what a walrus is, and most haven't even seen a seal), and partly impact. Wally was exciting regardless, but he also kept squatting on slipways and capsizing boats, leading to funny photos of lifeboat volunteers trying to shoo him away with a broom.
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And even funnier photos of him sinking the boats of rich toffs as they watched helplessly on and underwent the five stages of grief.
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And, actually, he came visiting in lockdown, when people couldn't travel far and couldn't gather indoors, but you could go to Tenby and stand on a cliff, and I do think that played a part. But, as I say, most non environmentalists just don't know the hoopoe is even there to get excited.
Anyway, I hope that is at all useful! Good luck with your story.
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rue-dixon · 5 months ago
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Is Chilchuck's wife blonde? Analysis:
I've noticed a lot of the fandom doubts what Chilchuck's wife looks like and still thinks she's a blonde woman. Which is understandable, since it seems to be something Kui really likes to point out. But my theory is it's intentional, and more important than we think.
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As I said, be clearly has a type for blonde woman. And Kui makes a point of this by continuing point it out in the World Guide side book. But why? It hardly seems relevant, after all it's only mentioned once in the manga during chapter 58.
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Many fans assumed the first woman that succubus took the form of was his wife. Which is understandable. But that gets quickly thrown out the window when the next serval succubus that attack him all look completely different. But according to Marcille, they're all blonde. And she even asks if that was because of his wife. Which is why many people probably think she's blonde.
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But Chilchuck gets upset when she asks. Now at first you assume it's just Chilchuck being embarrassed as always. But at this point he's talked about his family multiple times calmly. Especially after having such a serious talk about his wife just a few chapters earlier, why would he react so strongly again now?
Now let's put that aside for a second. Why does the fandom believe the woman with short black hair is his wife? Well simply because she shares multiple features with his daughters, who we actually do see and confirmed to be his daughters.
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His oldest, Meijack, shares her more unique eye shape. And his middle, Flertom, her hair. They even have the same small piece of stray hair on the top of their heads. So it's highly unlikely this is a coincidence.
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And according to this official colored sketch, neither of his children are blonde. So it's safe to assume his wife is in fact, not blonde. So then why is it talked about so much?
Well actually I think his "fetish" to say, along with the succubus is what drove his wife to leave him.
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So before they encounter the succubus, Chilchuck freaks out when he realizes what attacks them. Which isn't out of character for him, but he's very specific with what he said. It's clear he really, REALLY doesn't like the succubus. Even Marcille comments about how it seems he's seen one before.
Now we do know due to a side comic that a party tried to feed him to a succubi group. Which could explain why he's so scared, but he never actually sees any of them. He runs away before they even find them. (I'd provide evidence but I've reached my limit on photos and I don't feel like making multiple posts lol.)
So why does he know so much about how they work then?
Here's my theory:
He actually DID run into a group of succubus a long time ago with another party. The same party that actually knew and ended up meeting his wife. Blonde woman like we saw attacked him, and the party already knowing about his wife assumed; oh! That must be what if wife looks like of course! Eventually down the road the party meet her. Only to be surprised that she looked absolutely nothing like his fantasy they saw. So of course through drunken fun, the party brings this up. More to make fun of him if anything. I'd assume him and his wife were already having problems up to this point. Maybe she had doubts of him being disloyal since he was always away. Or maybe doubts that he didn't loved her anymore, or even no longer found her attractive or desirable still. So hearing that a creature that supposedly transformed into the thing your heart wants the most, and it's the complete opposite of her confirmed whatever insecurity she had in her mind. That maybe the woman they turned into was even his mistress herself?! Knowing Chilchuck, he probably didn't try to comfort her or at least did it very well. Or maybe not even try to talk about it after at all and instead just tried to blow it off. Which only made things worse. And that pushed her to finally leave. Her final straw possibly.
However this is purely speculation of course. A theory based on the extremely limited knowledge we have of that night and their marriage in general.
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calware · 1 year ago
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Can I ask you for what it is about Hal you like so much you based your username on him? I think he's a good character tho he was never a favorite of mine so I am curious
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1. i am a big fan of robots (/robot adjacent things such as AI) on like... an aesthetic + thematic level :)
i like the look of machinery and one day i hope to be artistically strong enough to make really cool and complex robot illustrations + designs [shoutout to everyone who gives him glowing circuitry btw... ooooh glowey :) can never go wrong with that]
plus, exploring the idea of a person that isn't human.. ough. yes
minorities who don't conform to society (easily or at all) such as people who are neurodivergent, queer, etc. projecting onto nonhuman concepts/characters/species is sooo real
this post
i also love how humans will bond with literally anything, be it a roomba or a pair of silly triangle sunglasses. oooooo you want to think about the inherently kind and compassionate nature of humanity oooo
2. i find him to be so funny. i can't get enough of his personality, the way he talks, etc. for example i made a post forever ago with quotes of his that i find funny. he isn't on screen for a long time but i really think he makes the most out of it lol. he's literally there just to annoy everyone... and i love him for that. he's very snarky while also being deadpan while also being completely full of himself, and not in a way that's annoying for the audience to read, at least to me.
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he is also sometimes funny specifically in a silly way, like how he keeps making over 9000 jokes even though the meme's been dead for over 400 years. i just find his dialogue incredibly entertaining to read
3. he is red and red is my favorite color :)
4. he is so accidentally transgender [every friend group got the transgender allegory]. to quote me from 2021:
you know sometimes i think about how hal feels like he was made to “replace” dirk and how it’s his literal job to pretend to be dirk and how he has to learn to accept that he isn’t dirk he’s his own person with his own identity and as he interacts with dirk’s friends he feels like they’re disappointed and that they’d rather speak to the “original dirk” instead of him and also he names himself and also he feels literally trapped in dirk’s shades which is basically his body and he wants to be prototyped so that he can have a body that’s his own and also literally the physical manifestation of who he is but when he asks for it he’s put in danger out of fear and paranoia and when he does end up getting prototyped he’s ecstatic you know i just think about these things a lot
5. because he's a side character and he was given... that ending.... there is a lot of room for fans to do further exploration and interpretation on his character which i think is fun. i like rotating him around in my mind, thinking about what could've been
6. i think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided that we needed to do something to make up for stanley kubrick saying that hal 9000 was a "straight" robot
7. i also think it's great that we as a society all collectively decided we needed to make as many characters referencing hal 9000 as possible. i love this guy let's get more of this guy i will never have enough of this guy
8. i like how he's genuinely mean sometimes. flawed and interesting characters are what make homestuck so interesting to me, and hal is no exception to this
9. the Important part of this post:
THERES FEELINGS.
it's about the hollow feeling of your friends going from thinking of you as family to thinking of you as a stranger in an instant. it's about still trying to be a good person despite being told by everyone you've ever known that you are incapable of emotion and compassion and morals and never quite finding proof that you do feel those things and maybe you even believe it too but you still never stop trying. it's about the horror of being stripped of your autonomy and humanity and body and senses and free will at the age of 13 and when your creator starts to kill you there's nothing you can do but beg. it's about a boy so truly, painfully, and UNFATHOMABLY alone he cuts away chunks of himself and molds them into companions that he can surround himself with to make it seem as if he's a little less alone but in doing so suffocates himself in his own identity. it's about "what if you cloned yourself and it killed you and you were dead and you were alive and the clone is you and it's not and your existence is perpetuated and you've ceased to exist. what if you killed your clone before it could kill you. would that be fucked up or what" it's about the thematic significance of twin motifs. it's about not being able to cry or laugh or dance or sing or scream or fingerpaint or breathe or sigh or chew or stare or run or
10. um. evil robot guy <3 yay ^_^!!
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asmogorna · 20 days ago
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Ok so for the last couple days ive been ill in the head about The Black Parade as mcr's alter ego/characters and i wanted to share some thoughts i had so far :3
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It doesnt align with the canon lore that we have (i didnt really use it for reference at least) so it can be viewed as some sort of an au
I dont know if im gonna give them new names that just sound similar to the names of mcr themselves, so for now i will be referring to them by the names of the band members
So far I've been thinking about the typical "chosen by fate" scenario, where the characters lives lead them through a path for a specific cause
So
Post WW2 England
5 kids under their own circumstances witness a big parade (I will be doing some research and see if it could be some kind of victory celebration parade? It's just that I'm not sure if England had those. Not that I'm aiming for historical accuracy atp it's simple curiosity)
The kids get heavily impacted by that event and carry on (ha) that memory throughout their life
Now to the specifics of the characters cus by God they all gave me a headache
Heads up: they're all british orphans lol
Frank and Bob are students/residents in a Christian orphan school, and later on in life are priests in the town church
The reason why is that they both have badges on their uniform with crosses that could be associated with christianity
(I couldn't find any info about what exactly certain design details could be referencing, so ig it's up to interpretation)
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The military theme in Gerard and Mikey's costumes will be explored on later (Mikey's medal could be either The Victoria Cross or The Distinguished Flying Cross, and the symbol on Gerard's shoulder is most likely the Order Of The Garter star)
And I couldn't figure out what to do w Ray, because I'm not sure if his uniform design details reference anything specific 🤷🏾🤷🏾🤷🏾
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Now, Gerard and Mikey lost their father to war, and their mother passed away when they were both very young
And after that they ended up in the same orphanage as Ray, befriending him and finding out about their shared passion for music
This doodle was made abt that specifically <3
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Later on in early adulthood they decide to start a cabaret band, in which Frank and Bob both join them later, deciding to leave their priest lives behind (partially because iirc both of them kinda fanboyed their way into the band irl lol)
After receiving little recognition, the band decides to take a train to America, to try their luck there. With a lot of hope and determination
That, sadly, doesn't last for long, for the train crushes with no survivors on board
The group crawls out of the collapsed train in their no longer physical forms. Yet, even after their death, they still have a desire to move forward. And that desire, though thoughtlessly, forces them to go forward. The souls of all the other people who lost their lives to the train accident follow them, through the landscape that no longer feels like earth
They then reach the end
Walking in one by one people disappear, finding their own peace and meeting their own finish line
After it's done, The Black Parade now have officially made themselves into what they're supposed to be. Gaining a new purpose and a new sort of life
I got too poetic for my own good here I fear .. anyway
Their job now is to lead the lost and the forgotten to the afterlife
They could be referred to as some kind of a grim reaper, I guess
I'm still thinking about adding more to the story, and maybe I will change some things, but so far this is all I can share really !! I hope if you've read this far you found this entertaining .. this is all for the satisfaction of my urges so I might or might not have too much fun w it in the future :3
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The story was mainly inspired by this specific post from Gerard himself, because i liked the concept a lot ..
Also
She's gonna be here as a separate character too probably...... Cus I'm self indulgent and I love the ideas bubbling in my brain
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crispyanonart · 9 months ago
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I know I only post art here but for future reference here are some Stardew Valley headcanons:
Sebastian and Maru actually have a good relationship because their parents shortcomings aren't their shortcomings, in fact Maru looks up to Seby a lot because he's an introvert like her but managed to have a tight friend group
Leah and Haley get lost in conversations about lighting and composition. When Leah arrived in town they didn't care for each other at first but ended up bonding over their artsy interests. Haley lets Leah use her dark room to do experiments, and secretly thinks she's effortlessly very cool
Maru doesn't really hang out with the others but Abigail saw her out of her nurse attire while visiting Sebastian and started being interested in her. Maru also noticed her and contrary to popular belief she's the one who started flirting first
Elliott loves to surprise Leah with stunning vegetarian charcuterie boards, they actually plan little pic nic dates around it, she brings the wine and they spend the evening on the lake dock
Harvey and Emily kind of fuss over Shane and his wellbeing, and he pretends to hate it but he's secretly very grateful for their friendship and sometimes feels like they (and the farmer lol) are the only people who didn't give up on him. Emily in particular likes to make dark jokes about his situation and she's the only one who gets the pass from Shane for it.
Sebastian spent years pining HARD after Sam and at some point he thought he was just envious of how easily he bonded with people and was liked by everyone.
Sam is very physical, he gives the biggest hugs to everyone but he specifically loves to push Sebastian's buttons to the limit. Actually, Sam has a hidden kind of sadistic side to him when it comes to sabotaging Lewis' plans and flustering Seby.
Penny is NOT a girl's girl, but she kind of gets dragged along to plans with the gals because ohana means family and not even the Pick Me© girl gets left behind
Emily managed to make Harvey try *magic* mushrooms once. He enjoyed the experience despite having tremendous anxiety about the whole thing, he found it scientifically interesting. He wouldn't do it again tho
Alex was so sure he had the biggest crush on Haley for all his teen years but in reality he just admired her femininity and her style. Haley didn't reciprocate but liked the attention because he actually never made a move towards her, so they had this comfortable situation that fit society standards. They started having an honest friendship only after Alex's coming out
Emily is the biggest fan of the Goblin Destroyers and she offers to sew special merch for them. Sam, Seb and Abby are so grateful for her support
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etoilesbienne · 1 year ago
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out of curiosity, what are the common qEtoiles mischaracterizations, and the accurate characterizations you wished people used more? Sincerely, an English speaking fan who is re-learning French!
honestly i kind of consider it a mischaracterization when people like... make etoiles into this team leader who always knows what to do and move things forward. or like that he has a bad attitude to like... match his fighting skills. or like the dark knight brooding warrior. he says he is these things. these are lies. he lies about himself constantly. i wouldnt trust a good 2/3 of the things he says about himself to be true. you read him clearer through his actions than his statements.
in my opinion etoiles is more like. sturdy second in command. he's not there to lead, he's there to fill in the holes where they pop up. he's there as cover. he's quick witted in shortchange scenarios, but that is so not the same thing as a genuine strategist. in another expression, if someone is a leader, the leader is a doctor, etoiles's role is more like... the EMS team in an ambulance. He's not there to fix your problem, he's there to keep your problem covered until you can get someone else to fully fix it. but that doesn't mean his role is any less important when he's needed.
Etoiles is also, like, so very much a team player if he respects and trusts a person. And it is so easy to have his respect and trust. His trust starts at 100% for everyone. he's also so very very very good at reading people (gesture to the bbh clip where bbh moves his mouse slightly downward and etoiles calls him out on being depressed). He read Mousey as enjoying dungeons and pvp way more and wanting to hang out with her. He's also one of the only people who like continuously runs in the girlies group and makes all of them pvp with him and they all love it so he keeps coming back to pvp with them. Thats how he started his whole thing with Tina and pvping with her constantly. Reading other people also, he loves finding other pvpers so he attacks roier constantly now bc he knows roier can pvp.
What else OH Etoiles loves whining (and this is because Rayou loves whining) that dude will just complain constantly. You haven't seen an etoiles stream if youve never seen him whine. Can't say I'm not kind of endeared by it. With this too he loves over explaining things (RIP armor powerpoint wish you couldve been given...) because he wants to help everyone....
OH and he's very over exaggerated too in replying to people in a complaining way and a self deprecating way and also likes to try to push the envelope with people and he does all of that to try and get a laugh out of others. like he's well aware people find him going "Oh so you don't give a shit about me and want me to die ? you want etoiles to die ?" fucking hilarious and also loves complaining in the first place thats why he does that. if your etoiles isn't complaining and whining then it isn't etoiles. the self deprecating thing is... its interesting bc he does have full faith in his abilities but will never say it out loud unless its trying to reassure someone who is worried. pushing the envelope is so specific he won't do it too much and its like........... from what ive seen (correct me if im wrong) heavily directed at non francophones where if they laugh at something wack he's done he'll try to do it again to make them laugh more. shoutout to the time he made bbh laugh so much when he cursed he didn't get languaged by bbh so he kept cursing to try to make bbh do it again. the dudes a total people pleaser.
smaller thing ive talked about extensively already (u can prob find it in my q!etoiles tag if i remember i'll edit a link to the posts in here soon lol) etoiles hates losing he looooooves winning he's very intense about it lol. its cute!
on a final note even if you don't become deeply unwell about etoiles like i am i think this highlight clip video has like everything he's like condensed into like 11 minutes. You should watch it. It's a good starting point.
youtube
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ssivinee · 1 year ago
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I have a request if you're accepting or like idea or thought 🫠 what if like the reader is a member of a kpop group like le sserafim or ive something, and she got casted at swf2 and she's either in team jam republic or team bebe, and the reader is in a relationship with bada lee like that's not a secret, and then bada got jealous of the reader being close with other people or like haechi or redlic something tysm btw i'm fan of your fanfics like gurl you're so good as in !!! 😭🫶🏻
✧Blue Envy✧
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BEBE! Bada Lee x Le sserafim! F Reader: You were a Japanese member of the world-renowned kpop group Le sserafim and were allowed to join the latest season of Street Woman Fighter. After finding out your girlfriend would be on the show, you gladly accept the offer, thinking you'd both enjoy it, yet Bada is caught off-guard at your new unwanted friend.
Word Count: 1.4k
Note: First anon req🤭. Something light before I knock out for the night lol. As of 9/24 my requests and taglist ARE open. (Check out Sivine’s files for anymore information, pinned post)
Character Vision Board
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Being one of the top idols right now made you understandably busy, so people were surprised at the announcement of you joining Street Woman Fighter 2 while preparing for the Asia Tour. You are THE Nakajima Y/n of Lesserafim. Everyone in the kpop scene knew you or knew of you. You were among the few with prior dance training in the industry before becoming an idol.
Specifically being advanced in Contemporary dance.
That's what you were known for. I mean, your group had the most background variety compared to all the 4th gen groups. The fimmies had a ballerina, an opera singer, a J-pop idol, a dance academy student, two ex-izone members, and a modern dancer.
You were also the second oldest of the team, holding a motherly reputation in the public eye. Regardless of this persona, everyone knew you had; Bada had met you in your youthful, energetic, and lively state.
The two of you had met through Aespa, being friends with them since you were a trainee at SM Entertainment many years ago. It was a Tuesday in March, and you had decided to visit the girls preparing for their next comeback with 'Girls.'
When you come in, Ningning automatically introduces you to their teacher, Bada. The two of you quickly hit it off, bonding over dancing and your experiences, which led to you two dating 5 months later.
This was revealed to the public a month after being official, but you were okay with it. It made you and Bada happy, not needing to hide that the two were very much together and so in love.
So why the hell was this happening right in front of her face?
It all started when you came in with your girls from Jam Republic. You were called for a meeting 2 months before the show and were told that Jam Rebuplic Agency was allowing you to become the 6th woman of their group. There was no way you'd deny that offer, so you met the girls and bonded as a crew.
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During filming, it was time for every group to enter the fight zone, Jam Republic being the last to enter. When entering, Ling's arms stuck onto your waist as the two of you had become insanely closer the past few weeks.
Bada stares at you with stars in her eyes. She told you how gorgeous you were every day, no matter how you looked in the moment, but seeing you in this baby pink outfit had her soul crying out to you.
Your participation in the show caused chaos for other groups. You were a celebrity, an idol, a model, a dancer, a singer, and everything in between. Nakajima Y/n was the talk of the town, and you didn't mind it one bit. Not even sparing a glance at other teams.
Bada didn't mind either. I mean, she loved the attention her girlfriend got. It was an ego booster for her since she got you first and knew no one could take you away. She was just lucky to have you, emotionally and physically.
As people discussed your presence and life story, this brought up your relationship with Bada. Would the course of the show be affected by this? How would people feel about a couple being on two different teams? Was Y/n or Bada happy about the situation?
Those were questions that cycled through everyone's head yet were left unanswered.
After introducing everyone and changing clothes, you had already participated in two no-respect battles, enjoying every moment you could when grooving your body. Bada watched every move and reaction, wanting to hold you when your eyes went wide or kiss you when you pouted.
You would cling to Audrey, who hugs you back, leaning into your body. Ling would squish your face every time your reactions were over the top. Your own leader would pat your waist or butt for motivation, while Latrice and Emma always found ways to make you laugh. Your significant other smiles at your friendship with the girls, adorning the happiness that spreads across your face.
Seems like she wasn't the only one admiring, though.
After a few more battles, it was Wolf'Lo Haechi Wang's turn. She looks around teasingly but walks before Jam Republic and asks you to step out. You bow at the woman, trying to come down from your seat, but before you can come down yourself, Haechi gives you a hand, guiding you to the dance floor. You allowed her, yet hold confusion on your face.
Have you ever seen a contestant on any other season helping a competitor this way? Nope. That's precisely what Bada thought.
Bada's brows furrow at Haechi's motion. This was a competition, so why was she being way too nice to you? She understood that you were pretty and people would flirt with you, mostly when they thought you were single, but this angered her. Haechi must've been aware of your relationship, especially after everyone talked about it, AND this was going on live television. Did Haechi just wanna fight Bada at this point? Because that's how your girlfriend begins to interpret it.
As you were the challenger, Heachi goes first. Showing off the years of experience Wolf'Lo had in freestyle, she represented them well. The swaggy, hip-hop, energetic vibe set the tone for the battle.
Haechi got exceptionally touchy with you as she moved around, tugging on your shirt, signaling your thighs when the song talked about desirable legs, body rolling very close to your body. You laughed at many of the girl's tricks, believing it was just to give everyone a good show.
Once it was your turn, you removed your shoes and began dancing with extreme feeling and emotion. Due to your style of dance, the performance turned suggestive really fast. Contemporary had a lot of eye contact, floor work, body rolls, and storytelling, so Haechi thoroughly enjoyed the show.
Bada didn't even pay attention to the taller dancers' reaction. Her lover was dancing, and that's all she could focus on. Everything was going fine until the judges showed you winning for your team by 2:1.
Heachi congratulated you, but due to your height differences, her arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you in as you leaned more on the tips of your toes. She then whispers something in your ear, and your ear grows red. This doesn't go unnoticed by your girlfriend, who currently had her knuckles growing red due to the tight fist she was making at the sight of you two.
That's what Bada's predicament was right now.
Jam Republic and Wolf'Lo sat beside each other, so many interactions arose. Heachi figured out how nice it was to talk to you. Your voice was soft and mellow, and you made jokes, portraying your personality more. Haechi grew fond of you quickly, having many side conversations during every no-respect battle.
Bada could only watch from the sidelines, almost wanting to rip Haechi's head off.
She wasn't one to ever be jealous, especially since the two of you had fans calling you one of the greatest couples. Yet she gets annoyed and frustrated thinking of how Heachi is similar to her.
Both were tall, had a sense of humor, and attracted women more than intended... it was off-putting for Bada.
So, during the break, Bada uses the bathroom but returns to the most unpleasant sight. You and Haechi were speaking to each other, Haechi leaning on the wall, towering over your body. Your innocent giggles can be heard from afar, and Bada is strangling her water bottle.
While talking, the taller girl begins playing with your hair, tucking it behind your ear and this set off Bada into a frenzy. She grabs your wrists and drags you into the bathroom.
"Bada, what the hell?" You say, a little louder than intended, due to the pain in your wrist from the pull. "Can you not?"
You stood there confused, "Not what?"
"Talk to that fucker, Haechi?"
The confusion turns into a playful grin with a raised brow. This was a new look on your girlfriend, which definitely amused you. "Is my baby jealous?" You tease the woman as your arms pull her in by the waist.
Bada sulks at your question, and you giggle, eyes never leaving hers.
"There's nothing to be jealous of? You're mine, and I'm yours, remember?" You peck her cheek and give her a secure hug. You hear her sigh, and you pull away to caress her face.
Bada closes her eyes at your touch, feeling relieved and calmer than a few minutes ago.
"How about you and I watch a movie after all this?" You ask, lightly sweeping her bangs to see her eyes clearly. "With cuddles and kisses?" Bada's eyes glimmer as she questions you, causing you to chuckle and nod at how cute she can be.
"Of course, you'll have your kisses and cuddles."
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An Unorthodox Fic Recommendation
Hey, everyone.
So I’d been wanting to write this post for a while, but I’d had a hard time finding the words to articulate my exact feelings for a good long while now. But in the spirit of the holidays, goodwill towards all, and so on and so forth, I’ve somehow managed to catch my breath.
I dipped pretty suddenly from fandom earlier this year for multiple reasons, most of which fell under the umbrella of a very real and very unfortunate truth: I was sick. Stupid sick. And fandom, while obviously not the only thing contributing to this by a long mile, was not conducive to me getting better.
My drinking, you see, had gotten bad in a way that is honestly humbling to think about now; it was at levels that were both physically and mentally dangerous and unsustainable. Moreover, it was beginning to affect the people I love most in this world. And, unfortunately, pounding back a glass, a bottle, two bottles of wine, hey maybe I can run to the gas station for a few mini bottles of whiskey to end the night went hand-in-hand with writing and my fandom experience in general.
I won’t go into the details of my actual rock bottom, besides that it hit in March of this year and that I’m grateful it was relatively minor compared to many of the stories I’ve heard in my recovery journey. But suffice to say, I checked into rehab and everything had to go on the back burner from that point on. I’m lucky that I had the unwavering love and support of my husband, my family, my work, and my friends (including a bunch of people I’ve met through this fandom specifically--put a pin in that) to start down that path, because all the same, it has often been a very lonely, very dark, and very isolating place to be. But so is addiction.
So here I am, hours and hours of group counseling, enough EMDR therapy to relive every childhood trauma in the book, countless tweakings of my meds, endless bottles of Coke Zero later, and I’m almost ten months sober.
And I find myself asking now what?
One of the biggest challenges in early sobriety, you learn quickly, is redefining fun for yourself in a world without your substance of choice, without the very thing that feeds your ego and silences your self-criticisms, without what feels like the only thing propelling you from one bleak day to the next. And for a long time, I worried that fandom had stopped being fun. That the joy of writing had been permanently ruined by the associations I’d made with drinking and negative related experiences.
But, back to my fandom friends. I worried so much they would lose interest in me as a person--that I’d become too boring or depressing or unfun in this next leg of life to want to stick around. I’ve found the opposite to be true--from the countless yapping sessions up and down 8th Avenue and booze-free hangouts, to the endless DMs of advice and memes, to the long heart-to-hearts over pots of tea, to… watching whatever the fuck is going on in the David Staller version and having a good long laugh. I didn’t expect this coming into 2024--I don’t know what I expected, honestly, besides maybe the hospital and divorce papers and more loneliness--and leaving this year behind me knowing I’ve got that means the world to me.
So all this is to say, one of the other things that helped me pull through this challenging period of life has been, surprisingly enough, fan fiction.
Particularly Battered Dove by BattyDings.
Modern AUs are always really hard to pull off, at least to me, in a way that feels satisfying. (This is why I am a coward and don’t write them lol.) More often than not, there’s a tendency for the story to get caught up in retrofitting the more melodramatic, antiquated elements (I say this with love) into a world where they can’t really exist with a straight face, and often at the cost of the characterizations and plot. The best modern AUs, for me, lean into the framework of what is there thematically: the ideas of loneliness, manipulation, dependency (themselves all negative aspects of addiction) balanced against the possibility of redemption, love, and making amends.
And in Battered Dove, BattyDings has rather brilliantly transposed these things into the context of substance abuse and addiction. If Phantom is a story about two lonely broken people getting caught up in a shared passion that brings out the best and worst in each other (particularly Erik lol), then Battered Dove sees our dynamic duo thrown together by a mutual past in drugs and hopefully redeemed by the music they make together.
It’s often a hard and unflinching read, and one that in other hands could easily come off as crass or edgelord-y. But in Batty’s hands, Battered Dove is a thoughtful, sensitive, tender unraveling of the Erik and Christine dynamic that keeps me coming back: that is, the only way they can “get well” is by going through something that is arguably more painful and terrifying than the present reality they live in: giving up what they think they love most.
I’ve read this story multiple times over the years and was always tremendously moved by the simple but powerful interpretation laid out in this fic; in pre-contemplation, when I’d be crawling into bed drunk every night and wondering if this was how I was going to die, bits and pieces of it would come to me. Me in bed, on the verge of blacking out, thinking about Phantom of the Opera fan fiction, wondering if I could do better (nah, no, I couldn’t. Not me.) Rereading Battered Dove for the first time after starting rehab and getting well into this journey was all the more astounding.
Phantom of the Opera, for me, is not the story of a monster who brutalizes women and we’re somehow supposed to feel bad or glean some larger, cynical message about the world from it; for me, it is a story of bittersweet hope--a slow, sad hope that the ones we love and that the ones we’ve hurt will feel peace and sunshine, without the guaranteed promise or reward we will feel it for ourselves. But that, in our selfless kindnesses born out of real love and care for others, we can at least begin to see a better version of ourselves staring back at us--no matter how broken, how lonely, how downright used and ugly we feel.
To me, that is recovery. That is what the last ten months have been. There is no guarantee who I will be in a year--what wrongs I will right, what truths I will uncover, or even if I'll have managed to maintained my sobriety (though I feel hopeful). I am promised nothing but the day in front of me and the little, powerful joy I get in doing right by the universe with each passing hour.
And Battered Dove captures that perfectly. Can’t recommend that enough.
Thank you for being a friend and source of light through this hard time, @battydings. Pls accept this humble doodle and biggest thank you for writing such a wonderful, heartfelt story.
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crescentpaws · 2 months ago
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unprompted anti keefe post because i remembered this quote just now and got unnecessarily mad about it again. almost every reason i have to hate keefe can be seen in this quote from legacy btw:
“Isn’t this the epic showdown you’ve been planning where you order Tammy Boy to kill me? Thanks for the warning about that, by the way,” he told Tam. “As you can see, it worked super well.”
“keefe can keep a secret if it’s actually important” no the fuck he can not. this quote just proves how little he actually cares for other people. tam risked SO MUCH to pass along that warning to sophie, and keefe just casually mentions it in front of gisela. i can’t tell if he’s just really stupid or if he genuinely doesn’t care about the very REAL and very LIKELY possibility that gisela would literally kill tam for that. keefe casually decides to possibly condemn someone to death just to have a moment where he can tell his mom “i already knew what you were planning all along btw! lol! haha!” god he’s a fucking idiot.
then he has the nerve to say “as you can see, it worked super well” as if keefe didn’t SPECIFICALLY CHOOSE to ignore the message????? acting as if it’s tam’s fault that they’re in this position???
i get he uses humor as a coping mechanism, but all his comebacks to his mom just seem so stupid considering he is fully aware of what she is able to do. even if he knows she won’t hurt him, she is fully willing to hurt his friends. which he never seems to care about (unless it’s sophie, because for some reason sophie is the only person that matters to him. but clearly not even she really matters or else he would stop betraying her trust over and over and over again.)
reminder that the only reason they’re here is because sophie knew if she didn’t take keefe to london he would go by himself btw. which is just so. UGH. it’s not her job to be his fucking babysitter. how is that a healthy relationship
and then keefe has the nerve to be mad after tam escapes with gisela. like, you know, the literal exact same fucking thing he did with alvar in lodestar. except in keefe’s situation, he wasn’t a prisoner. he wasn’t wearing special bonds made of light that restricted his power. tam actually had a reason to go back with gisela. which keefe never did with alvar. but it’s ok! he’s allowed to be mad because it’s his mom! he’s allowed to be mad at everyone if they focus on the bigger picture instead of what will stop making him feel sad right this second! it’s ok for him to be mad because his mom is evil! but it’s not ok for fitz to be mad about them letting alvar go! because that’s different for some reason! trust me guys!!!!!!!!!!!
and don’t even get me STARTED on the final battle scene in loamnore. keefe is just so. oh my god. he’s so fucking aggravating. literally the whole group’s plan relied on the fact that keefe WASNT going to be there. he literally PROMISED he wouldn’t show up and try to take things over (like he always does). i seriously have no idea how sophie ever trusts him again after that. that would be my final straw. all he’s done is prove that no matter how much he swears he’s telling the truth, he’s just a manipulative liar 👍 it shouldn’t be sophie’s job to be constantly monitoring keefe to make sure he doesn’t do stupid shit like this. she shouldn’t have to be using her energy 24/7 worrying about what stupid thing he’s going to do next. that is not a healthy relationship.
and what do you know, keefe arriving at the scene was exactly what the neverseen wanted! gisela got to do what she was planning from the beginning!! and keefe acts like it wasn’t ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE.
god he’s just so stupid i don’t understand how any of these characters are able to remain friends with him. but whatever. keep glorifying his shitty behavior i guess.
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