#but yeahh it really did get to the point where the trip supervisor was actively pairing me off with specific people to do activities with
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random memories before bed but thinking about my trip to [redacted] and how much my entire group of travelmates wanted absolutely no part of being around me for like 3/4 of the trip. bitches couldn't handle my autistic buzzkill swag ig
#i was thinking about one trip in particular when writing this post but actually in redacting the location it's become vague enough to apply#to like. three different ones. lol#11th grade youth orchestra tour in italy i fucking MISS you. literally the only time i went on a trip and MADE FRIENDS instead of enemies#(cause i just hung out with the winds and two (2) stray violins the entire time LOL)#but yeahh it really did get to the point where the trip supervisor was actively pairing me off with specific people to do activities with#because i was that Fucking bad at making friends and there were like. four people in the whole group who i even moderately got along with.#i was 21 whole years old! lol!#ironically half the problem was that i don't drink and i hate being around drunk people but basically everyone else in my group was both#younger than me and drank ridiculously every night. so.#yes i'm terrible at socializing but also you guys are terrible at being responsible#there's probably a very good reason why most of my 'social circle' is online.#it's bc they don't have to know how difficult i am to really be around lol!#i wanna talk about me#yeah don't touch this post i'm just writing in my diary before bedtime here. bye
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