#post for maybe two people max and i'm one of them. anyways this was a deeply endearing luke moment to me

[fakewedge]

(thru gritted teeth) if only somebody needed to be rescued...

[phoenixyfriend]

How to Call Your Reps About Gaza

I make a lot of posts telling you to call your reps! Anyway, here's the overall shape of how to argue to them.

Disclaimer: I am not in politics. I do not have experience as a staffer. I am just someone who cares a lot about where things are going, and wants to help. Also, this is specific to the US, because that's where I'm based. Hopefully, people with expertise can add more suggestions on.

Find your elected officials.

My Ko-fi: this took me two days to write up, so uh. If you've got a few dollars, send them my way so I can keep doing this sort of thing, and maybe move out of my parents' house sooner.

General tips:

Be polite, or at least civil. Do not swear or shout at whoever answers the phone. This will quite possibly get your number blocked. Fifty civil calls over the course of several months will do more than one where you shout. You can be frosty, you can say you are disappointed, you can say you find the actions of your reps to be reprehensible or morally bankrupt, sure. But keep calm and aim criticism at the rep, not the staffer.

Keep it short. The staffers who answer call centers are busy. They usually start trying to hurry me off after about two minutes. I've yet to manage a call longer than four or five minutes. Pick one or two topics for the day, and focus on those. Cycle through them every time you call. Stick to just one from day to day if it's a large, ongoing issue like Gaza.

Plan for voicemail. I get voicemail more often than not. My House rep usually has a staffer free, but the Senators are almost always voicemail. This will give you a minute and a half max. Be ready to get your point squeezed into that.

Only call your representatives. The important, powerful word here is "constituent." You will be ignored or even counted against if you are from a different district or state. The first thing you start with is your name and address. A staffer will ask for the information they need. On voicemail, leave your full name, your city and state, and zip code before you go into your message. Do not lie, either. They look these things up in the system when you call. I'm not sure how--I think maybe they have access to a database of registered voters--but every time I call, they ask for my last name and address and at some point say, 'oh, yep, I've got you right here,' which indicates a database of some sort.

Research at least a little bit about their opinions. If they already agree with you, then it's much easier to leave a quick "I support you and want you to know that" to combat anyone who's arguing from the other side. If they don't, then you're best off finding out what specific issue they have so you can know the best kind of comment to leave.

Look up specific bills or arguments. I get daily emails from GovTrack about bills that are on this week's docket or have been voted on in the past day. IDK about anyone else, but being able to say that I disagree specifically with HR 815 or something makes me feel powerful, and possibly like I will be taken more seriously. Sometimes you can start with articles like this one, which include links to specific bills on the official congress website.

Email after if you can. Reportedly less effective, and takes longer, but you are more likely to get a written (canned) response, and it reinforces whatever you called about.

Basic structure of a call, at least as I've been doing it:

"Hi, my name is ____ ____, and I am a constituent from [city, state], [zip]. I am calling to express my opinion on [topic]. I am concerned about [short argument with a clear impact on the topic]. I ask that you support [measure or fellow congress member]/vote [yay/nay on specific legislature]. Thank you for your time, and I hope you keep my opinion in mind."

For this post, the topic can be stated as the war in Gaza, military funding for Israel, or unrest in the Middle East, depending on which you think your elected official will respond to best. That said, the structure should work for whatever your call is about.

Arguments to use against your elected official... or your on-the-fence cousin:

I'll be honest, some of these are not going to do much against your representative. They know the arguments, and have been going over them with each other for months. You just need to have one locked and loaded that they consider relevant instead of a nonstarter, in order to back up your opinion as 'founded' instead of 'nonsense, can be swayed with a good marketing campaign.'

I'll include explanations if I don't think something is self-evident (or needs more evidence to tell your cousin), but in most of them I'll provide some suggested verbiage that you can tweak as needed, and for a few of them, that's really enough.

THESE ARE FOR THE TOPIC OF CONCERN, ONLY. You still need to end each one with "I ask that the [official] votes to [action]" at the end. Give them something actionable (example from Feb. 13th). My go-tos right now:

Both chambers: Reinstate funding for UNRWA

Both chambers: Place mandatory restrictions on any aid to Israel, with contractual threats to cut funding if Netanyahu and his government continue to disregard civilian life

Senate: Put support behind Bernie Sanders and his motion to restrict funding to Israel until a humanitarian review of the IDF’s actions in Gaza has been completed (S.R. 504) (Tabled by the Senate on 1/16, but it is being brought back in as conditions continue to escalate)

House: Put support behind Rep. Rashida Tlaib’s petition for the US government to recognize the IDF’s actions in Gaza as ethnic cleansing and forced displacement, and put a stop to it.

House: Put support behind H.R. 786, introduced by Rep. Cori Bush, calling for an immediate deescalation and cease-fire in Israel and occupied Palestine.

What Not to Say

"There is no threat to Israel." I've talked about this elsewhere, but the short version is that this will be basically laughed out as you not knowing what you're talking about.

Anything generically antisemitic. (I mean, it might work on some of the white supremacists, but do you really want to encourage that thinking? No, so don't do it.)

Facts that you "heard somewhere" but cannot find a reliable source for. If it's being reported by the New York Times, NPR, or the BBC, it's probably trustworthy by government standards. If it's not a super common statistic, cite the journal you got it from by name. Remember, you aren't arguing to tumblr mutuals. You are arguing to your elected official or your 'I don't really pay attention' cousin. When it comes to this, big name news sources are better.

Unrealistic demands for complete isolationism, permanently abandoning Israel to its own devices, supporting Hamas, etc. Again, you will not be taken seriously. Pick an argument they might actually listen to, and use it to press them towards a possible solution. You want them to believe that if they adjust their position, they will be doing the will of most of their constituents, and thus more likely to get reelected.

The Ethics Argument

Third-party reporting has stated that that nearly 29,000 Gazans are dead since Oct. 7th, as of 2/18/24. The vast majority of those are civilians, and over half are children. Palestinians in Gaza are facing an acute hunger crisis threatening to become a full-blown famine.

The International Court of Justice has found that there is credible reason to believe that the state of Israel is committing a genocide against the Palestinians of Gaza.

This does not mean that every single Israeli is complicit. It does mean that the government, particularly Netanyahu and his associates, has been reprimanded by a large, diverse coalition of countries, and has consistently refused to listen to that court since.

This argument will possibly work on your cousin. Less likely to work on your elected official. They already know the numbers. I just wanted to get it out of the way first.

The Re-Election Argument: Michigan vs New York

Meanwhile, this is possibly the most effective. Again, this is not an argument of ethics. This is an argument of "how can I make my elected official do what I want." We do not use only the purest moral argument. We use what works.

What to say to your elected official: Michigan, as a swing state, was won by democrats on the power of the Arab-American vote in the 2020 election. We (either party) are at risk of losing Michigan due to the current Congressional approach to the Gaza conflict, as that demographic is now polling as likely to abstain from voting entirely. The risk of losing several congressional districts due to the Jewish vote is a real one, but the risk of losing the the executive branch is greater, especially after what we saw with Suozzi. Supporting Palestine might lose us parts of New York, but supporting Israel will lose us Michigan.

Explanation: Something that has been taking up a lot of time and space in the election coverage is the situation in Michigan, and more recently, there has been attention paid to the special election of New York's third district, AKA the "who gets to replace disgraced George Santos" competition.

Michigan is traditionally a swing state. While 2.1% doesn't sound like a lot, that is some 211k-278k people (depending on your source), and while not all of them can vote... Michigan was won by about 154k. Arab-Americans are not the only relevant demographic, but they sure are an important one, and they are vocally opposed to the situation. Approval has dropped from 59% to 17%. From that same article:

As Axios notes, Biden won Michigan in 2020 by 154,000 votes, but there are at least 278,000 Arab Americans in Michigan. Biden took Arizona, a state with an Arab American population of 60,000, by only 10,500 votes. In Georgia, Biden prevailed with a margin of 11,800 voters, in a state that has an Arab American population of 57,000.

Democrats cannot afford to lose these states. Pressure your congresspeople about that, especially if you live in one of those states. I assume most Arab-Americans in said states are already calling every day; the rest of you can join in.

Meanwhile, most Jews (considered the most pro-Israel demographic by strategists) in America are concentrated in a very small number of electoral districts. Of the twenty most-Jewish, ten are in New York, which is why I put it up in the section header.

One of those districts was won by a Republican in 2022: George Santos, New York's third congressional district. Following his scandals and ousting, the seat was up for a special election, and the two candidates were Tom Suozzi, a democrat who held the seat previously (he decided to run for governor, and lost), and Mazi Pilip, a Nassau county legislator who was of Ethiopian Jewish background and had been in the IDF. She ran on a campaign that leaned strongly pro-Israel and anti-immigration, and when Suozzi won, she interrupted his victory speech to accuse him of supporting a genocide against Israel due to his rather centrist, rather milquetoast stance on the conflict during his election campaign.

Now, Suozzi's win probably had more to do with Pilip being anti-choice than her pro-Israel arguments, but he still won.

Democrats can better risk possibly losing a few seats in NY than definitely losing three swing states.

"But I don't want Dems to win their districts after what they've been--" Nope. Listen to me. Surveys indicate that Republicans are on average more pro-Israel, because Trump and Netanyahu are buddy-buddy, and we do not have a viable third option.

Also, again, this is about convincing Dems to be better. "If you do not vote to put restrictions on funding to Israel, I will not vote for you in November" is a lot more powerful than "I will not vote for you either way, because of what you've been doing, but you should do what I say anyway."

The Re-Election Argument: Risk of Escalation

So, that thing I said about Trump and Netanyahu?

Yeah, so, while Biden is giving Israel military aid while cautioning them to slow down and be careful, Trump is... complicated, but suffice to say he's much closer to Netanyahu on a personal level than Biden is. Biden's relation with Netanyahu is reportedly pretty frosty, while Trump's is based on relations through the Kushners.

Just from wikipedia:

Netanyahu made his closeness to Donald Trump, a personal friend since the 1980s, central to his political appeal in Israel from 2016.[21] During Trump's presidency, the United States recognized Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, recognized Israeli sovereignty over the Golan Heights, and brokered the Abraham Accords, a series of normalization agreements between Israel and various Arab states.

Trump's been more all-over-the-place recently, badmouthing Netanyahu for being what Trump perceives as a loser, which complicates understanding what his approach is. It's kind of incoherent right now.

Given Trump's general history of being pro-Israel, though, and the attempts by House Republicans to push through a bill of unconditional funding for Israel. It failed, but notable is that the more recent bill passed in part because it was paired with aid for Ukraine and Taiwan (something Dems are much more invested in having happen).

What to say to your elected official: If Trump is reelected due to his current appearance of being more critical of Netanyahu, there is evidence from his presidency to indicate that he will support Israel much less critically if elected. While he claims to want to settle the Middle East, it seems incredibly likely that he will worsen the situation for Palestinians, and ramp up retaliatory strikes to groups like the Houthis in a manner that will impact non-military parties, igniting tensions that are already tenuous.

The Disrespect/Wild Card Argument

This particular argument is best used against the Very Patriotic Politicians who are more concerned with the US's image and Being The Alpha Nation than with other things. Basically, this might work on Republicans.

This isn't really something I believe in, as a matter of foreign policy, buuuut it might work on your rep, so. Consider it!

What to say to your elected official: With Israel's recent actions in ignoring Biden, blocking US-sent aid like those flour trucks that got stopped at the Rafah border because they'd be distributed by UNWA, and generally Disrespecting The USA and Being Unpredictable is not only making the US look bad for being unable to wrangle a smaller country, but also making it so we are less able to wrangle other countries in the future, because Israel cannot be predicted and might set someone off.

The Europe and Reputation Argument

What to say to your elected official: The United States is losing credibility as a world power known for its military and ability to manage international disputes on behalf of the UN, because it is seemingly unable to influence Israel, and losing credibility as an upstanding moral state that is not doing foreign coups and banana republics anymore, as it appears to be tacitly supporting Israel's ICJ-labelled genocide, which is a really bad look with the other Western Powers.

I'm not entirely sure who this might work on, but there's gotta be at least a few politicians who are really concerned about America's image, more than about actually doing the right thing. Figure out if your politician is one of them.

If necessary, you can bring up how Trump is threatening to pull US support for NATO if Russia attacks someone.

The Middle East Stability Argument: Iran-backed Militias

What to say to your elected official: I'm concerned that the continued support of Israel, and thus the funding of their actions in Gaza, will increase the instability of Iran-backed militias, as we have already seen with the Houthis and Hezbollah. Entire Muslim-majority nations are showing increased displeasure not only with Israel, but with the US by extension. We cannot afford another war in the Middle East when we haven't yet pulled all our troops from the last one, not with the recent and recurring economic recessions. Any situation would also very likely be complicated or inflamed by the growing tensions among Eritrea, Djibouti, and Ethiopia regarding Red Sea access as well.

Use this on the ones that claim to be pro-military or pro-veteran. See what they said about HR 815 before the foreign military funding amendment was added.

The Middle East Stability Argument: Egypt

What to say to your elected official: Egypt's government has been unstable since the Arab Spring, and even now the military government is incredibly unpopular. With that existing instability, the addition of economic strain from the reduced usage of the Suez canal, the international disputes occurring because they're the main throughway for aid into Gaza, and the threat of a sudden influx of nearly one and a half million Palestinian refugees should Israel continue to push south... Egypt is looking at a possible near-collapse as we've seen in nearby nations suffering similar instabilities.

Explanation: It took several years for Egypt to really start recovering from the revolts in 2013, and it has applied for four IMF loans in recent years. The current government is unpopular to such a degree that they are looking to build an entire new capital from scratch in the middle of the desert so that they're less open to the risk of civilian uprisings; one of the primary causes for civilian dissatisfaction is economic issues.

Due to Houthi attacks at the Bab al-Mandab Strait, traffic through the Suez canal is down massively, and since the canal "represents almost 5% of the GNP and 10% of GDP and is one of Egypt’s most important sources of hard currency." (src) Various sources are reporting that trade through the canal is down 40-50%, which is putting more strain on the already unstable economic and political situation.

Finally, Egypt's population is about 110 million, but the governorate that shares a border with Israel and Gaza, North Sinai, has a population of barely 500,000. A push of one and a half million starving, injured people will, very suddenly, nearly quadruple the population of the governorate, and require extreme aid response from Egypt's government to keep alive and prevent a larger crisis in North Sinai and neighboring governorates.

The Middle East Stability Argument: Normalized Relations

What to say to your elected official: I am concerned that Israel's continued attack on Gaza is jeopardizing any chance of normalized relations with the Arab states in the future. American has put a lot of work into trying to get these various countries to normalize with Israel, and our funding of the current attacks on Gaza are sabotaging all that effort.

This one can be combined with the Iran-Backed Militias argument: Israel, in pursuit of revenge against Hamas, is setting itself up to be in more danger long-term, rather than less.

The International Trade Argument

What to say to your elected official: I am concerned about how the war in Gaza is impacting international trade and shipping costs. With the Suez Canal down to half its usual capacity and the Panama Canal raising costs and dropping capacity in response to the water restrictions, along with rising fuel costs in Europe and Asia, global trade is incredibly strained. We are being relegated to the Cape of Good Hope, Cape Horn, and the Malacca strait for much of intercontinental trade, and the macroeconomic projections are looking very bad for America.

The Domestic Economics Argument

What to say to your elected official: Many of the plans for Israeli military funding cause damage to other parts of the budget. For instance, a recent plan put forward by the Republicans of the House suggested IRS cuts in order to move that money, a plan which would impact the US budget negatively in the long term; we need those 14 billion being spent domestically, not supporting an overreaction/possible genocide in Gaza.

Explanation: In general, pick something receiving budget cuts that your congressperson will care about. I care about IRS funding, and saw it mentioned as a target in an article, so that's what I've got in my suggested verbiage up there.

The fewer people that are working for the IRS, the more they focus on auditing poor people (simple, easy taxes) and the less they can effectively audit rich people (complicated, time-consuming taxes), which means rich people are more likely to get away with evading millions or even billions in taxation. So yeah, you want more funding in the IRS if you are poor. They are already auditing you. You want them to audit the big guys.

The Russia and China Argument

What to say to your elected official: I am worried that the current focus on funding Israel without restriction is causing us to lose sight of the international threat posed by Russia and China. Russia is actively invading Ukraine, which continues to put massive strain on the European economy with regards to oil prices, especially with the Suez situation, and China has been testing missiles near Taiwan, and thus testing US responsiveness to those threats, for months now. We cannot afford to support an internationally unpopular war if we want to remain ready for Russia and China.

This is less likely to work on Republicans, since Trump is friendly with Russia, but hey, give it a shot if they're one of the ones who aren't fully in his camp.

EDIT 2/22/24: I'm a bit unsure of this tactic, but I'm putting it out there with hopes that someone with more political experience can offer feedback:

"Congress, and the US government in general, has promised to sanction Russia for the alleged assassination of one man within a week of the suspicious death, after five months of refusing to enact even slight consequences on Israel for the deaths of nearly thirty thousand, half of which are children. This is ethically questionable at best, but for the interests of elected officials, it is a very bad look. The mismatch shows a massive bias by the American government in regards to Israel's ongoing mass murder, with over two million facing famine as a result of Israel's aid blocking, and America's reputation on the world stage, as well as individual politicians' reputations domestically with constituents, is plummeting."

-------------------------------------

Finally, my ko-fi again. I spent a long time on this and I'd like to move out of my parents' house sooner rather than later. If you appreciate my time and effort, please feel free to donate a couple bucks.

[forzalando]

💛 hi 🥹 CONGRATS ON 3K THAT'S HUUUUUGE !!!!

I am obsessed with this idea and also my favourite activity (as of recently lmao) is drunk karaoke and of COURSE my dream would be to do it with lando !!!!

drunk karaoke with Lando would, and i'm not exaggerating, mean everything to me. i am in love with just the idea of this.

thank you for supporting me through the many phases of this blog and for entertaining my every thought/idea. adore you, mel💛 i hope you enjoy this blurb that was meant to be 300-400 words but ended up being 800+ lol

celebration post: here

Drunk Karaoke with Lando Norris under the cut😊

You quickly downed the shot thrust into your hand – sambuca, which meant it absolutely came from Lando since he was the only one who knew of your preference.  

He was on your left, sweaty and somehow wide awake despite the fact you’d been out for hours. Oscar was on your right, slowly swaying to the music with his eyes half shut. Somewhere across the club Charles and Pierre were dancing on an elevated surface while George videotaped them like a suburban soccer mom at her son’s first game. Here in Monaco, everyone partied post-race as if they themselves had made it to the top step over the weekend.

Out of nowhere, Lando fell into you as he shouted in your ear – “Do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

Oscar caught you before you could topple over, steadying you on your feet before shooting Lando a dirty look.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lando giggled. He centered himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, looking the most serious you’d ever seen him. “Anyway, do you know what I’ve always wanted to do?”

“Win at Silverstone? Become world champion?”

“Well, yes, but think smaller, you lunatic. Something I could do right now.”

“Out drink Max?”

“What? No, I don’t care about outdrinking Max, where did that come from?”

“Well, I just thought since he usually wins every race that you’d want to beat him at something – ”

“Oh my god, you’re impossible,” Oscar interjected. “He wants to do drunk karaoke. When we went out in Miami he was practically on his knees begging me to sing with him.”

A giant grin spread across your face as you playfully swatted Lando’s chest.

“Why didn’t you just say so? I happen to be an excellent karaoke partner,” you boasted.

Lando clapped his hands and jumped around like a toddler at your remark – “So, you’ll do it with me?”

Instead of answering, you snatched his hand and pulled him through the club at an impressive speed. You weren’t in a karaoke bar, quite far from it, but you planted yourself in front of the DJ booth and gestured to Lando. Security immediately pulled you both into the booth, perks of having Lando at your side, and the DJ of the night asked what she could do for you.

“Hi! Lando Norris wants to do drunk karaoke and I’m trusting that you can make that happen. It’s very important to him,” you professed.

“I think I might have a couple instrumentals or could make some magic happen. Any specific requests? You won’t have any lyrics on screen, though. And you’ll have to share a mic.”

Before you could ask what your options were, Lando was shouting, once again, in your ear.

“DO YOU HAVE THE SPICE GIRLS? THAT ONE SPICE GIRLS SONG?”

“Lando, we won’t have the lyrics,” you reminded him.

“I don’t need them,” he declared, crossing his arms with attitude. “Maybe you need them, fake fan.”

“I most certainly do not,” you yelled back to Lando. “DJ, roll the track. Pretty please. You're amazing."

She chuckled and handed you the singular mic, Lando immediately snatching it from your hands.

“It’s my dream, I get to hold the mic.”

You rolled your eyes and fought back a smile, stepping into his side as he threw an arm around you.

The deafening bass from the speakers grew quiet as the DJ addressed the crowd of people – “we’ve got a special surprise tonight! These two lovely friends of mine up here are going to perform a special number for everyone. Please welcome – ”

She paused, waiting for you and Lando to introduce yourselves.

“LANDO NORRIS AND Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Please welcome Lando Norris and Y/N Y/L/N to my booth. Show them some love!”

The clapping and cheering brought the volume in the club back to an obscene level – the loudest cheers coming from a VIP table not far from the booth where all of your friends had gathered.

Before you had a chance to feel the slightest bit self-conscious, the infamous laugh rang through the speakers and Lando was scream-singing into the mic.

 “YO, I’LL YOU WHAT I WANT, WHAT I REALLY, REALLY WANT!”

The two of you in perfect sync, passing lines back and forth, singing (if you could call it that) in unison during the chorus. You could have sworn you heard George shout out that this was “his song” and Max was most definitely telling anyone who would listen that he personally knows Ginger Spice.  

You tore your eyes from the audience to look at Lando – the smile on his face rivaling the brightest sunny day. With his arm around you, squeezing you to his side, your closest friends cheering for you, your heart was sure to burst from happiness. There was no place you’d rather be in that moment than making a drunken fool of yourself with the most important person in your life by your side.

And if Lando was thinking the same thing, about how he was happier in that moment than he’d ever been, podiums and race win included, he’d keep that to himself for just a minute more.

[batsplat]

It's a thing I already knew but all your beautiful analysis really made obvious (to me) how much of a grudge holder vale is. That man is never letting it go he's gonna hold his grudges into his grave

you know, I do think this is an interesting issue, because I'm not sure this is true of all his grudges. just sticking here with the grudges he accumulated in his capacity as a competitor, rather than just his general approach to life or whatever... how you judge this will kinda depend on how you feel about the 'reconciliation' he's experienced with some of his rivals - and whether you read the whole thing as sincere or not. now, personally I reckon he still dislikes biaggi, but also you are allowed to just dislike people so I'll give him a pass for that. some of the others, I'm a little more convinced by the whole reconciliation schtick

let's get valentino's take:

interesting that he mentions those three together, isn't it? and like, he's still not messaging biaggi or inviting him to his home - "even with max" kind of tells you all you need to know - but the other two? they said some proper nasty things to each other over the years!! I mean, the casey rivalry, there's some remarks from both sides where quite frankly I think I would struggle just a touch to get over it

I don't know, obviously this could all be pr stuff, but I kind of feel like... y'know, why bother? it's 2022, you're retired, who gives a fuck? sure it's a good look to be all magnanimous, sure it can be a bit of a way of twisting in the knife to the guys left in the cold, but also, who would care if you don't play nice? I think especially with jorge, you surely don't need to do all that, inviting him to your home and dancing with him... (which, again, some of the spats those two had...) and with the casey rivalry, if there's one guy who's still hung up about what happened between the pair of them, it's obviously casey (speaking of blokes who can hold a grudge). maybe this is giving valentino too much credit, but personally I buy it's more or less sincere. there's nothing to really indicate he's still particularly bothered by any of their past disagreements - he's basically going for the 'all's fair in love and motorcycle racing' approach. he knows he was an asshole, he accepts they were assholes too, whatever, that's how these things work. he's generally a fan of drama in rivalries, unsurprisingly, and he was happy enough to contribute his fair share - but he does see it as fundamentally being part of the game

to point out the obvious, check out who he's left out: sete and marc. that's where he can't let go of the grudges... because it's not about the offence itself as much as it is about the betrayal. this is the thing with valentino, right, it's about what kind of bond you had with him. if you weren't his friend in the first place and then piss him off as a rival then, y'know, whatever. obviously he's going to be vicious in trying to get back at you, but also he's really not going to waste his time feeling too aggrieved by it. I mean, think about how all the bullshit between him and casey dropped off sharply post-2012... from valentino's end anyway. think about how jorge and valentino pretty quickly got on again whenever they weren't fighting for supremacy within yamaha. they weren't friends in the first place, then they were enemies for competitive reasons for a while there, then it's over and valentino is basically happy enough to call it bygones

but... if it's a certain kind of bond you had with him and then you wrong him... that little mental list of all his past grievances, all your past transgressions, that's where it comes in. that's where he ices you out. denies you any emotional warmth. ensures that any interaction going forward is conducted entirely on his terms. where even any public 'reconciliation' won't truly be sincere.... or, certainly he's not going to forget what happened. if something else happens... it's like you've always got the potential of triggering this lingering resentment, in a way, where all that past stuff is still primed and ready to be called upon. he certainly doesn't just let it go

or, as he puts it in his autobiography:

Biaggi and I never talk to each other. I mean, we've never had a real conversation, anything that's lasted more than the requisite time to insult each other or put each other down, in the nastiest way possible. In any case, I don't hate him. It's true, we've never been friends, but hatred is something different, and that's too serious a word to describe our relationship. Far too serious. No, we have a reciprocal antipathy. No doubt this is a result of what we do for a living and the fact that we both want to win every single time. And perhaps it's also a function of the fact that we have very different personalities and very different ways of seeing things. Still, I don't think this means we hate each other, as some journalists have written. I think I could feel hatred for someone, but only for someone far worse than anything Biaggi has done. For example, if I were betrayed by a friend, then, yes, I could hate him. But Biaggi will never betray my friendship for the simple reason that we are not, and never have been, friends. Our relationship is very clear: we compete on the track - outside the track, each goes his own way. You could say we detest each other cordially.

... I mean. he said it, not me. and given this book was first published in '05... biaggi can't betray his friendship because they were never friends... I'm not saying he's thinking about sete, but it has to at least be a possibility, right? he's talking about one rivalry here and refusing to even mention the other... and the one he's refusing to mention is the one where he was friends with the other bloke. I don't know, maybe that's reading too much into it! and anyway, even if this passage wasn't really about sete, it's obviously still revealing. "detest each other cordially" is essentially what he was doing with casey and jorge (or from his point of view in any case, not entirely sure they'd agree with that). the grudge comes when he feels let down by you... and then, yes, he'll never let it go

of course, he's willing to set aside his grievances for a while if there's sufficient motivation for him to do so. in 2009, when he had so definitively won that rivalry with sete, why bother kicking up a fuss? in 2016, quite frankly it was just too much, and it was getting to the point where it was obviously hurting him too. on the one hand there was the media furore that had been going on non-stop since sepang, on the other hand it was also hurting his own approach to racing. there's reports from the time how visibly aggrieved he still was in the first few races of the season, and it took until they got back to europe for him to... y'know, have fun again. it's not sustainable to be walking around with a constant dark cloud over your head and broadcasting burning resentment towards your two main rivals. certainly not for someone like valentino - he needs to be having fun! the slight rapprochement needed to happen, in a way, because otherwise those years would have been even worse for everyone involved. but that doesn't actually translate to forgetting any of those grudges. this is about convenience more than anything else

goes to show, really... most of the time he doesn't take these things personally. I talked about it a bit in this post, how maybe it's also something that changed over time for him: the question of whether he was willing to develop these kinds of bonds in the first place with competitors... because he does possess a certain level of self-awareness in terms of what these kinds of rivalries are like and what they do to interpersonal relationships. ideally, you don't want to be hurt by a friend like that, right? better not to have that kind of emotional attachment with your competitors in the first place. how unfortunate it'd be if all those years after sete the circumstances aligned for him to see a competitor as something like a friend again... because, after all, those are the only people who could betray him. those are the only people where he thinks he could truly hate them

[redpenship]

Happy New Year! I’d love to know if you have any headcanons about Mobian culture and/or holidays, either based on things you’ve seen in the games/comics/movies etc OR just stuff you’ve made up for fun. :) Maybe this isn’t really your forte but I thought I’d ask haha!

Happy new year!

I actually don't have too many headcanons on Mobian culture itself. However, I do have HCs for their society in general which I guess would feed into the culture idea anyways. I'm just going to put all of it here because why not.

(Heads up: this post is 1.8k words long).

Thesis I: There is no Mobian state.

If you've read my fic Buzzsaw Dilemma, then you'll have already been given a basic run down on how I think this works. Since I like rambling about this kind of stuff, I will explain everything again, but this time with evidence from canon to support my theory!

To begin, it's always best to define what a "state" actually is. I prefer the Max Weber view as a state being an "organization with a monopoly on the legitimate use of force". Let's break down what this actually means with an example:

The state establishes a rule that you can't assault other people. One day, you feel that someone has wronged you and decide to punch them in the face. A police officer nearby notices this and responds by punching you in the face and detaining you. After spending the night in jail, you're charged with felony assault and the police officer is not. Why?

As a random citizen, you do not have a right to the legitimate use of force. You cannot punch people to get what you want with impunity. The police, as official arms of the state to use against domestic populations, do have a monopoly on the use of force. They can shoot people, put them in prison, and basically do whatever they want (within reason, technically, but the state doesn't like challenges to its authority and will always resist holding itself and its officers accountable for perceived illegitimate uses of force) because they're the only ones allowed to do so! Your boss at work can't kidnap you and hold you prisoner for a year because you broke a rule. The state can do that to you because it is seen as a legitimate use of force.

Now that we both know what a state is, I can explain why I don't think one exists on the Mobian islands. I am going to cite a lot of stuff from IDW since it's allegedly canon now and the games tend not to focus too much on day-to-day life on the islands anyways.

Point one: the Restoration. Since aid organizations apparently don't like working on the islands, which I suspect might be due to the Eggman Empire's fixed presence there, the Restoration was forced to step up after the war to fix up the islands. Although it's true that some states just don't give a shit about their populations, I don't think it's wrong to say that post-war clean up would typically be a job for an existing state. The lack of any central authority points to the conclusion that one may just not exist.

Here are some panels from IDW issue #42:

Here, Zavok is surprised about the lack of security at Restoration HQ. Master Zik explains that Mobians don't see a need to prepare for violence because they aren't violent to each other. This is an interesting assertion given Tails' backstory, but I guess his two tails were just that disturbing to the people at home!

The main takeaway here is that the islands don't really have security guards or police officers. I like these panels for that reason only. I'm afraid the reasoning provided by Zik still implies that police/guards would be necessary if there was violence among Mobians, so it's not really that revolutionary of a worldbuilding moment and realigns the comic with statist ideology.

So, let's summarize: the islands don't have a central authority. They don't have any means to enforce a monopoly on the use of force. Does this mean that they don't have a state? In the absence of government, does the Restoration pave the roads?

In my general opinion, yes. There are some instances that could be used to disprove this theory, such as the Everhold Prison seen in Bad Guys, which is seemingly guarded exclusively by dog Mobians:

The existence of a prison implies a functional penal system, which in turn implies that somebody on the islands has a legitimate monopoly on force. On the other hand, it's never explicitly stated that Everhold Prison is hosted on the islands, so for now I can still cope and pretend it never happened. Yippee!

Thesis II: The islands don't use money.

I hosted a poll on this subject a few weeks ago, in which I learned that most people think there's money on the islands. Allow me to argue otherwise!

The most common theory for the origin of money is that it came into existence because bartering for stuff fucking sucks and nobody likes doing it. Nothing has a standardized value, so if the guy in your village responsible for making shoes is a pompous asshole who makes ludicrous demands such as asking for FIVE bushels of wheat in exchange for a pair of shoes, even though you've heard the guy in the next town over only asks for three bushels, then you're shit out of luck and have to fork over all your wheat. Maybe the shoemaker is on a gluten-free diet and refuses to trade with you, so as a wheat farmer who only trades in wheat now you can't even barter for a new pair of shoes! Sucks to be you, buddy.

Under a monetary system, a bushel of wheat and a pair of shoes both gain a standardized value. A bushel of wheat is $1, and a pair of shoes is $4. After selling enough wheat that you have $4 in profits, you can walk over to the shoemaker, slap some coins down on the table, and tell him to get to work. Now, you might say, "wait, if you're in a captive market, can't he just charge whatever he wants and you have to deal with it?" The answer to that question is yes, but asking economic theorists to consider greed in their theories is a bit hard since they don't really care about fairness at all and still don't understand what's wrong with kids making carpets in factories since their hands are the perfect size for that sort of thing. All these stupid labour rights activists don't understand comparative advantages and it's sickening!

Here's the problem with an existing Mobian monetary system: it assumes greed! Or, at the very least, assumes that Mobians have normalized the hoarding of commodities for personal gain. I don't believe this is the case at all.

Let's recall Zik's statement to the Zeti: Mobians don't steal from each other because they are kind and compassionate to one another. I would argue that the origins of property/commodity ownership implies large-scale theft, as developing something like an apple orchard requires dispossessing your neighbours of a plot of land and claiming it for yourself. Then you grow a ton of apples on your land--that they once could have used as they pleased before you took over--and tell them that they can't eat any of these apples unless they give you something in exchange. But the apples are right there, bro, they'll complain. You can't eat all of those on your own. You'll tell them to suck it up and eventually they'll bring you items (or money) in exchange for some apples.

This doesn't seem like something we'd see the cute Sonic furries do to each other. Since we're talking about farming, here's a panel from there IDW 2022 annual where all the characters are helping out on some kind of communal farm:

Moving on, let's look at why Sonic hates Eggman so much. Eggman has always served as a representation of industrialization, environmental exploitation and degradation, and individualist greed. If the islands had a monetary system, and the ideals required to develop one in the first place, then a lot of what Eggman is attempting to implement would have already existed! Economic development requires exploitation, both of other people and natural resources. Money is the result of economic development. It just doesn't fit for me.

Thesis III: Equity as a norm.

This is basically the section on culture. Leading up to this section, I've established a rule: Mobians live in a stateless and moneyless society. Here are some cultural norms that might have lead to such a society in modern times.

Ecology as a priority. This is consistent with the environmentalist themes in the series, but also with the way that most Mobians we meet in the series seem to really care about the environment. My personal take is that they simply haven't developed the view that they are above nature, which is something seen in Eggman and other industrialists. In Sonic Prime, we see Thorn Rose react aggressively when she notices that her friends harming plants by taking more than they need from them. This may have been because they violated a strict cultural norm! Although this occurred in an alternate dimension, I like to think about its implications for the main universe, too. Is the cultural pressure to maintain and protect the land they live on enough to suppress industrial development? Maybe!

Conformity as a means of social cohesion. Generally, I think Mobian society demands a lot of personal sacrifice from people. A core tenant of collectivism is that you have to put up with not getting what you want most of the time, and sometimes this even comes at a direct cost to you. Maybe your neighbour stole your favourite toy truck and you can't complain about it or everyone will accuse you of trying to establish private ownership over something stupid. Or, maybe, there hasn't been a lot of rain this year and your communal farms are flopping. Out of desperation one day, you wander into the woods and find some bushes of edible berries that could help you survive better for the next few days. However, since eating while your neighbours starve would violate the ethical values imposed on your by your collectivist society, you must accept only having a few berries instead and sharing the rest with your village. If you're someone like Tails, who stands out because of a physical mutation, then tough luck if your village cares about appearances. Everyone knows your business and you're dependent on them for support. As soon as they decide they don't like you, you're going to suffer severely. Upsides and downsides to everything.

Alternate methods of punishment. A society without a state likely wouldn't have prisons. Building on the concept of conformity, social crimes would be mitigated through social pressure--basically, if you do something wrong, everyone will be mean to you and not like you as much as they did before. Fear of risking the judgment of peers is a very strong deterrent for most crimes, arguably moreso than prison itself.

Everything I've written here is my basic take on Mobian culture and society! In terms of holidays, I'm sure they have stuff relating to harvest times and seasonal changes.

Thanks for the question!! Sorry if this isn't what you wanted at all haha.

[simplywrong]

It's time for some conspiracy (and made up rumours). @itsblasttothepast I'm so happy you actually used that logo. Don't read below the cut if you don't want to see my speculations.

With Horner now confirming that it was Sergio's decision to go away I think beside the obvious answer of not wanting to work for a team that hated him (not talking about the mechanics and the staff, just the leaders) there are some possibilities about his future so I decided to make a list: - One and the most controversial (and one I don't want to believe) - he took the ambassador role and will collect money from Red Bull for using his face as a marketing device in the Americas - but I doubt that, he wouldn't go for it after what he went through with the team and the only thing that would prove that is Horner saying he 'still is a part of the RBR family' and we all know Horner is a snake so it's safe to assume he is lying; - The next one is that he is retiring for good - it would be supported by what Antonio said about him wanting his son to retire and with Carola's post thanking him for all the years being able to watch him race (it's just my interpretation of the words so I'm not saying those are facts). But it makes no sense with the posts from Jo and Slim, who suggest there is a new thing coming. He always said he wanted to spend more time with his kids so maybe he decided it's the end of his career; - Some poeple say Sergio can come back in 2026 in Cadillac, some say it can be a reserve driver for AM and some say he'll go with Nico to Audi. If Andretti gets his way there will be two empty seats too. But it's hard to say with real things being mixed with wishfull thinking from the fans. This one would be supported by the captions under Slim's and Jo's posts but it also could be interpretated as just show of support that they go with him. The speculations all come from Sergio's 'we'll see each other soon' and how relaxed he is compared to how he was in 2020 when he lost the seat; - The most crazy one so far is that Slim will actually buy a team for Sergio (this is not going to happen but it would be fun). There are people saying he should join different category and that would be kind of awesome too; As for Max, I kind of think RBR is slowly planning to replace him because of two reasons - how he went against them a few times this year and the fact that he might retire earlier than anyone wants (he said he will drive as long as he is having fun and would honor the contract but he said family comes first and with him becoming a father maybe something will change in his perspective - especially if RBR doesn't give him a good car, Max won't enjoy being in the midfield and without Newey the new concept might go very badly for Red Bull). So I have two theories about this: - The are terrified he will leave and want someone to learn from him but I doubt Max would want to tutor his teammate (not that talent can be learned anyway); - They are mad about how he openly talked to the media about the shitty car and how he threatened to break the contract if Helmut leaves so they will sabotage him this year to favor Lawson (especially if they thing 2025 is already lost - and it's possible, they took the wrong turn with the car and I really doubt they will fix everything before the new season) and try to prove why he was the better option but I really doubt this will go unnoticed. No one is delusional enough to really think that a rookie could beat Max, right? Either way I hope this team falls apart and if Max still wants to race he will change teams. What do you think about this? Also to all of you saying 'poor Liam he doesn't deserve the hate' can you please shut up? Most of you were on the Checo hate train for laughs and he had it way worse than some people saying that Yuki would be better in the seat. Do I condone hate? No, it's never the right thing. But it's not 'being against hate' if you only do it when your driver is getting it. It's hypocrisy.

[krillonthegrill]

rant about double exposure's Amanda Thomas (i adore her, for anyone that's worried reading that - this is long)

god no one's gonna care about this 💀 the thing that makes me so upset about Amanda Thomas's character is how little she has to do with the main plot and how much of a FUMBLE that is.

i love Amanda. i want to put her in my pocket and carry her around. i made a bee-line for her every single time i was in The Snapping Turtle just so i could have a surface-level five-sentence-total conversation with her. but she really is only there to romance Max. and that totally sucks.

she's 10x less enjoyable if you don't romance her. i feel like that rings true for every romance options in the franchise with the exception of Chloe and Rachel - it's a flaw of the writing, in this case, but i understand how it came about. they don't wanna lock players out of her romance if they decide that they actually do wanna romance her later on (because, cmon, her introduction you speak for maybe two minutes before you're given the option - granted, i loved her immediately but not everyone's gonna feel that way), but they don't account for people who don't wanna romance period. she flirts with you very openly like she didn't call HERSELF your friend just an episode ago. it can feel hot and cold, and people are allowed to be annoyed by that

anyway

after some thinking, i'm realizing she reminds me of a worse Steph, not worse as in behavior but worse in writing. Steph had ties to the plot, she knew the characters Alex had issues with WELL. Gabe was her BEST FRIEND, the ENTIRE reason she stayed in Haven Springs, she was with Alex the same amount of time Alex was with Ryan. and even THEN Steph falls short because she already dealt with her flaws in Wavelengths, but at least she got a DLC to show how she dealt with her trauma after Arcadia Bay

Amanda isn't really friends with any of the main cast. not with Safi, not with Moses, not with Reggie or Diamond or ANYONE ELSE. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE ALL IN THE TURTLE ALL THE FUCKING TIME

and she knows them well enough. when Amanda talks about Safi in a post, she mentions that Safi was the first person to sign up for an open-mic night that Amanda was really worried no one would go to

in the dead timeline, she keeps a gingerbread house on the side specifically FOR Moses so he can build one, because she knows he would probably want to even though Safi's dead.

like, when you go with Moses and Safi to see the meteors, Amanda's posts implies that she would've gone had she not had work. but have they EVER fucking hung out? canon content implies they do not.

she has an entire LIFE separate from the plot:

• people apparently fucking ADORE her. like, everyone in town. Max makes a comment about everybody having a huge crush on her, both men and women. she's just generally well-liked

• she's the oldest of six, she has TWO NAMED SISTERS, Melissa and Ashley, that exist in the world and even comment on Max's posts. i think one of them - i believe it's Ashley - makes a joke about U-Hauls and Amanda being a huge lesbian

• she likes to cook. she makes Max HOMEGROWN salad (girl, homegrown) and FOCCACIA. she cooks her siblings breakfast. one of the polaroids you can find is her cooking Max breakfast - i'm going to go out on a limb and assume acts of service is a love language for her

• she names people she is friends with that do not show up ANYWHERE in game (Henry, Eddie, Teegan, etc.)

• a good chunk of her conversations with Max are about music. a polaroid you can find includes them finally going to a concert. one of the first conversations you have with her is her gushing about the Vermont bands

• she's Cherokee and Abenaki, she talks about the indigenous people on campus having a place to congregate and have a community. i think she mentions they're moving something to do with weaving (? - some kind of craft, something with beads) to the Turtle because she wants them to be able to do it. she fucking hosts an indigenous artist exhibit INSIDE the Turtle

• i think she talks about volunteering at a soup kitchen?

• she mentions her therapist in-game three times, two times in the same scene, about becoming too attached to people way too quickly and about making good choices (when she decides to NOT sleep with Max - which, boooooo 🍅🍅🍅 more power to her, god knows i would've jumped at the chance). Max calls her a control freak - jokingly, but still (and it's true - she's not the owner of the Turtle, but she's basically running it)

all of this would be fine if it was acknowledged by the narrative. and it IS, but only by HER

she doesn't know Max, not really. but she desperately wants to. and she expresses that so many fucking times. but you never get the chance to.

it drives me nuts. you make a character with lots of charm - at least, to me; i think Samantha Bowling did a fantastic job, props to her - and do nothing with her. it's like DeckNine knows how to give a character the illusion of being fleshed out without doing any of the work to MAKE them fleshed out

[shadowcats4]

I think I'll just have to shit post after every episode I watch. It's only two now:(

Oskar: So how's it going?

Hausmann: What?

Oskar: How are you?

Hausmann: *stutters confused*

Oskar: How's your wife?

Hausmann: Uh, I'm not married, sir.

I generally had to pause here because my mum, my sister and I all burst out laughing at Oskar's complete fail at trying to be friendly and warming up to Hausmann so he can ask him a favour. I know the feeling, I'm also not good at being sociable, Oskar. Better luck next time. (Although I do generally rather keep quiet than embarrass myself.)

And Max's parents are actually quite adorable. All caring and protective. Don't cause trouble, be good. Then they leave and Max and Leah take a great sigh of relief.

And Leah is a complete icon. She is really really cool. Sassy, sarcastic - amazing:) Keep your little brother out of trouble. He's the one that still acts like he's 12.

"No, I wouldn't think it at all awkward that there's a thing between my sister and my professor. No problem at all. Happens all the time."

All of Oskar's interactions with the pick pocket guy were funny too. The first time, he's with Theresa and is suddenly embarrassed that he was so harsh and even straightens his coat. Oh, you stole my wallet and were going to run off with it, but my girlfriend is stood there so I'll just take it back and adjust your coat because I pulled you up by the collar and was going to charge you. But yknow. My girlfriend. :)

And the second time, Oskar's reaction to being suddenly grabbed by the shoulder is to exclaim, but sort of casually: What the hell? (But in an Austrian accent, naturally. (Which gives me flashbacks to Yonderland hehe))

The pick pocket: I have information of a crime

Oskar: *after a few tries of being convinced* Don't waste my time

It's not that simple. It's never that simple. Don't you know you're in a crime drama?! It's going to come back and bite you in the arse whatever you do.

And the American senator. He was- erm. An interesting character. He was clever. When Oskar was in his office(?) after he'd been attacked.

Senator: I was in my rooms all the time. I have someone that can vouch for me.

*his butler or assistant (or whoever he was) walks in*

Oskar: *stares for a solid 2 minutes trying to comprehend the gay thoughts running through his mind with his shirt half unbuttoned and a streak of blood still coming from his nose*

Broski lost some braincells when he got struck with the truncheon. You could see the cogs in his brain whirring like: You- and- and him? You're a thing? That's- *mind drifts to someone else*

Also notice how when Max got punched in the face(s2 ep1), Oskar asked what happened and Max felt obliged to tell him, but when Max asked, Oskar simply waved it away and that was that.

May I also mention that Oskar has a nose made of steel or something? For example in season 1, episode 1 where Otto Braun slammed the door in his face and the soldier guy (season 1 episode 2) where the soldier hit Oskar on the back of the head and he fell straight over onto his face on a cobbled street and went out cold for a good 12 hours? And then season 3 episode 3 when the stalking guy hits Oskar with a truncheon straight across the face (you can see the marks after) and on the back of the head. Again he falls onto a cobbled street.. Oskar sure has a thick skull. Meant in the kindest way possible:)

There were soooo many people lurking around in that episode too. Hausmann, the guy stalking the senator, Oskar. They're all hiding in shadows, watching, following, breaking into awkward jogs if you're Oskar..

Don't get me started on Theresa. I know people don't ship them on here. Or maybe they do and nobody's said anything? Anyway I think that they're an adorable couple and Oskar really did seem to like her and they were getting along fine. She made him cake and "by the sweetness.. *smirks* I'd say she's head over heels in love with you"

Then she goes and has a husband.. I mean Hannah though. She was really cute. And she liked Oskar too.

"Oskar!" *slaps a puddle with a stick* "Oskar!" He kind of waves that wave that all Austrian people do to children.

And Ida. Comes down the stairs, Max kisses her hand, yknow the formalities. Max introduces her to Oskar who simply takes her hand and shakes it, "Pleased to meet you." She looks a little... offended? But then, "I didn't know you had such handsome friends." Right in front of Oskar's girlfriend. Max is just like "Yeah I was starting to think the same"

Is it me or is all that Van Bülow does is drink tea or whisky while trying and failing to be the one in charge. Simply because Oskar slays. And could probably do the job better, but that would mean he would be the one sitting around on his arse all day and frankly Bülow does it better. He can talk about getting his 'Allerwertesten' ( is German for arse. I watched an episode in German on YouTube and basically Bülow used the German way of saying 'get your arse into gear') moving.

Have I gone insane? Maybe. Could I write twenty more 1000 word long essays about Vienna Blood and the interaction between characters. Probably. And another twenty more.

But this will do for now;)

Do I like Vienna Blood? Worse:) I am obsessed. In the best way possible.

[pukner]

Can I ask you a kinda weird question? What do you think steddie and the party would be as a supernatural creatures? My headcanon is Vampire Eddie and Succubus Steve, but I'm open to discussion. 😁

hello this is a FANTASTIC question

I love the idea of a succubus Steve, but also like? Siren Steve? This might explain his affinity for water, maybe he basks in his pool a lot and unfortunately that becomes extremely cursed for him Post Barb. He's the son of two beautiful, supernaturally charming people who learned how to show people exactly what they want, become exactly what they want. Steve is pretty and handsome and terrible and sweet and exactly what you expect from him, right up until he isn't.

I like the idea of a werewolf Robin, and also Max. Robin's larger and ganglier, and spends the full moon curled around Steve and growling at anyone who gets close. Max is a puppy, and a grumbly one, and Lucas ends up with a very determined guard dog. Robin also gets bizzarely territorial over Steve's house, for someone who doesn't live there. Her whole family scent Steve constantly, and he's thrilled about the extra cuddles.

I like the idea of Lucas and Erica being from magical heritage, old school witches who go very different with their practices. Lucas does very practical magic; makes little charms for his friends, for protection and strength and peace. Erica leans more towards big enchantments; she's real pissed about Steve's natural charisma.

Dustin is a very human person, who can and WILL science his way into magic.

Nancy and Mike, I waffle on. Maybe fae-blooded? Diluted enough that they can dwell here, won't get hunted down by either court. But still fae enough that Nancy has an almost pathological need to get to the truth, that she won't stand for illusions, that she chafes against Steve and his automatic charisma and the lies he lures people in with, almost thoughtlessly. She and Mike are deadly territorial over their kin, over those they've decided are theirs. Losing Barb made her absolutely inconsolable. Mike is much the same. They get it from Karen, who got it from her mother, who got it from hers. Ted Wheeler is an extremely mundane dude.

Will is a shapeshifter, all the Byers are. He likes to be small, unassuming animals, and so does Jonathan. Turns into a mouse or a grass snake and hides in his brother's pocket, up his mom's sleeve.

Eddie is a son of a vampire, came into his bloody heritage honestly. Wayne, his uncle on his mothers' side, is extremely human and had to learn real fast how to raise a bloodthirsty kid. He has raw steak in the freezer and teaches his kid how to hunt. He also has bloodpops in the freezer for summer days when Eddie gets lethargic and whiny.

He absolutely develops a weird obsession with Steve Harrington And His Summer-Sunshine-Salty Blood. Robin Buckley tries to eat him about it one time when he leans in too close for a sniff one day at Scoops.

Hopper is extremely human and extremely done with the supernatural side of things on this goddamn town.

El was human, once. They don't know what she is. She smells wrong, to most of them. Reads weird to their magic, to others. They love her anyway.

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

Short relationship headcanons with Max Caulfield

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×A/N×

Btw, I really wanted to post Mark Jefferson smut headcanons, but I think that is too early, so maybe later. :D

Btw, sorry for making this so short! 😅😭

Anyway, it is better with pictures?

Don't forget, you can send me requests! ^^

×❢ About my work ❢×

So much fluff and sweet moments with Max Caulfield °^° The reader is in relationship with Max, I wrote it for f!readers, but I think it's for any gender

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(The picture is not mine!)

𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈: I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhill

“When you're near, I hide my blushing face

And trip on my shoelaces Grace just isn't my forté

But it brings me to my knees when you say"Hello, how are you, my darling, today?"

I fall into a pile on the floor

Puppy love is hard to ignore

When every little thing you do, I do adore”

• Often happens that after a long day, you rest in his room, while Max plays tunes on her guitar. It's really a calming activity.

• Sometimes, you can even catch her quietly singing, but these moments are rare. However, if you sing with her, Max will be more confident aswell. Eventually, she will gain more confidence and bravery, but still, she will sing only around you (and Chloe)

• She loves it when you rest your head on her shoulder.

• Also, she will use every chance she has to play with your hair.

• Actually, I think she wouldn't hesitate, if you would want to hold her hand outside of the dorm. But if you don't wanna, she won't make you do it.

• She likes placing soft kisses on your face. Hugs are also her property.

• Do I even have to mention karaoke nights? Okay, maybe not nights, but the other part of the days, you can go to each other's room and sing while she plays.

• If people bullying you, she would stand up against them. I'm not saying she would instantly fight with them, but if it comes to the edge, she's willing to give a few slaps or kicks. But in general, we know that Max isn't an agressive type.

• I think she would be a great listener, and she will be the one, you can always let your tears fall on her shoulder, and she will always give you the best comfort.

• Late night chats were always your twos thing. Whether it's deep or small talk, she'll always be a great company. But don't stay up late, you have school tomorow!!

• If you let her take pictures of you, she will use every opportunity to make photos of you in different angle. Just photography and making shots of you is her favourite hobby.

• Also also, one of her favourite activity is listening music with you! She often shares her earphone with you.

• She won't use many petnames, but frequent the honey, love and may even sweetheart aswell. But most of the time, she just uses your name.

• I think she would let you help her and Chloe solving the mysteries. She doesn't like keeping from you secrets.

• If she would have a chance to talk an alternative you in a different universe where you don't remember her, she would break down.

• If you're too adventurous, Max will ask Chloe to help her keep an eye on you.

[maybankbae]

Valentine’s Day Plans

Word Count: 1,000+

Warnings: Strong Language

AN: Okay what if i said this is my favorite fic I’ve ever written. Maybe it’s because Cal is my cheat lane as well. Happy reading and hope you all enjoy<3

————

February 13th 2019

Daniella Walker. The name that is mainstream as she was making her way into the music scene as what the internet calls their "pop princess."

Daniella first had internet fame how everyone does in the early 2010's, by posting on Youtube. From the age of 16 she started posting covers of her singing different popular songs at the time ranging from Halsey to Ariana Grande. First viral video being her cover of Honeymoon Avenue from the album Yours Truly.

Her life changed at 19 when one of her self produced songs called Speechless dropped and became an overnight sensation. Flying from her home country of London, England to countless radio interviews to her first American Music Awards as an attendee and performer at.

That’s when she met some of her longtime friends in the music industry, 5 Seconds of Summer. She met them because she accidentally bumped into a red haired Micheal as she was coming off stage and they were about to take the stage. The two gushing over much they enjoyed each other’s music.

She was a huge Amnesia fan.

Over the years they continued to keep contact with one another. She was featured on their 3rd album Youngblood on their song Want You Back as backing vocals.

Daniella had also become a regular feature in 5SOS content. As well as being posted on their respective girlfriend’s Instagram’s pretty frequently.

For a little while she was considered a groupie when she went to Bali with them in 2016. Until stan twitter quickly defended her from the trolls on the internet claiming how do they not know her.

She was now 24 standing in line at her favorite local coffee and bagel spot in downtown Los Angeles. The line continued move at a slow pace as she hummed along to the beat in her airpods she been sent the night previous. She was absolutely in love with it. She had a studio session set with Max Martin that she definitely couldn't be late for.

He's worked with artists like Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Ariana Grande, and Britney Spears.

It's been a dream of hers to work with him and only her 3rd album that is saying she's gotta be doing something right.

She finally approached Bailey, one of the cashiers she had blossomed a friendship from after being a regular here for 4 months.

"Everything bagel with a side of strawberry cream cheese and Iced Americano double shot with light ice and vanilla creamer!" She shouted to the back. "Hey Daniella."

A smile was plastered on her face. "Hey girlfriend! You'll never believe what I've got planned today." She started as she dug in her purse for her card to hand over for her to swipe.

"Please you're literally a pop star. If you told me you were going to meet up with Kim Kardashian I would probably believe you." She stated in her strong jersey accent as she handed the card back.

"No I wish, but on my bucket list though, maybe I could get a discount on those Skims bodysuits I like. Anyways besides the point here, somehow managed to get a studio session with Max Martin! And cherry on top, the guys are showing up with Ryan fucking Tedder.” She said excitedly as she moved off to the side of the line so other people could move.

"See this is what I mean. It's Thursday at nine in the morning and you're going to work with your hot Australian friends and I'm here covered in flour all day while dealing with the bitches in the back and isn't Max Martin that Swedish dude who's written and produced for basically every A list singer." She leaned against the register.

"Yeah it's so exciting is it not. And Alexis you're so talented at making bagels. Hone in on that." She joked making the curly haired blonde roll her eyes in fake annoyance.

“Your accent makes this sound all posh Dani.”

“Oh whatever.”

"Your beautiful everything bagel and iced coffee m'lady." Bailey turned around to the kitchen workers as she handed her two paper bags one full of her favorite little snacks and the other with her bagel.

"Oh my goodness, you didn't have to do th-." She started.

"Oh please shut up yes I did. You're gonna be late with the hot guys.”

“Text me when you can, I'd love to hear all about it." She smiled.

"Will do."

As she was on the highway on the way to the studio her mind was clouded with thoughts some negative some positive, but mostly negative.

Before she knew it she was finding a parking spot and walking into Capitol Records.

Showing security her badge, she looked down at her Apple Watch and cursed, realizing she was going to be late if she didn’t climb the stairs in under 2 minutes. Thank god for her zumba classes she’s been taking.

Once she figured out what studio she was gonna be in for the next 6 hours, she spotted his long hair and glasses talking to Ryan and the four men sat in the couch in the corner. All of them laughing at something on Luke's phone. She knocked bringing their attention to her standing at the door slightly out of breath.

"Daniella! Pleasure to finally meet you." Max said getting up from the comfy chair to give her hug.

"So nice to meet you too. I'm so incredibly excited and I also see you've invited some of my good friends." She stated nudging Ryan's elbow.

"He had a lot of positive things to say about you." He said sitting back down.

"Daniella you probably know them," Ryan gestured to the men sitting on the couch.

"Know them. These guys are basically a second family to me." She joked.

"I hope you don't mind that I decided to bring them along here to hopefully do some live instrumentals for ya." He told her looking at her with a smile.

"Oh my goodness not at all! It actually sounds so cool. I’ve missed these guys." She smiled widely.

Micheal stood up and gave her a brotherly hug. “Have you gotten shorter?” He joked making Daniella give him the bird.

“Haven’t you gotten weirder.”

“Touché.”

Ashton was next, giving her another squeeze and pat on the head.

Then Luke who did their handshake they made up in Bali together, that neither of them forgot even after 4 years.

Finally it was Calum who smiled at her first and then suddenly picked up her up and spun her around in a circle, earning a loud laugh from Daniella and his signature smile that she still got butterflies from.

Even after her 6 years of knowing him, he still makes her blush like a school girl.

“Alright everyone let’s get to work to hear this beautiful voice of hers.” Max stated turning around and facing the recording booth as Daniella walked in and put on her headphones.

Two hours passed as Daniella stood in the recording booth, recording the second verse. She was mumbling the possible verse in the microphone. The song had a Lorde lyricism with Ariana Grande singing vibe.

She and Max had titled the song Selfish. Max and Ryan giving her corrections if needed. Other than the couple comments or corrections from the group she had total artistic freedom and she loved that.

“Could we leave that first half blank of that chorus and I’ll stack some more vocal layers on that run.” Daniella suggested over the noise of the metronome. “Thank you.”

“Yup sounds amazing.”

While Ryan was stacking her vocals, she leaned next to Ashton's drum kit and told him what pace she needed for the chorus.

Calum was fiddling with his bass strings trying to tune them when Daniella walked over. “So what’s your big opinion on it??”

“I think it sounds bloody brilliant.” He said in a Scottish accent.

“Don’t make fun of the Scottish people.”

“You always seem to forget I’m half Scottish and you’re literally British.” He laughed as she hit his tattooed arm slightly.

Max leaned into Micheal's headset, "Okay Mike start from when Daniella comes in at "I used to be cautious about this and stop when the beat drops back down to the acoustic version that we have prepared.”

3 more hours passed as their session ended and Daniella so proud of the song they had made and gotten mastered.

"Alright, could we schedule another one for Friday morning? We’ve got selfish crossed off the list. We could get started on Messier Things as well." Max asked her looking at his calendar.

She nodded with a thumbs up. "That should work with me."

"It was so good to finally see you guys today. What’s new in the wonderful world of 5SOS land." She asked the boys as they were walking to a lunch spot on the less crowded side of LA so the likelihood of them all being noticed and ambushed by paparazzi was a zero percent chance.

“Going on a promo tour for Easier. Thats literally all. New York, LA, Atlanta, and some overseas.” Ashton said laughing.

"Well whatt are you guys doing for the day of love that happens to be tomorrow." She asked wiggling her fingers together.

"Spending time with Sierra." Luke quickly answered with a smile. He loves that woman more than air it seems. But it’s good to see him so happy.

"Crystal wants to go see some new movie." Micheal stated with a raised eyebrows. He probably had no clue but he was with Crystal and thats all he cared about.

“Oo lemme know if you need a dog sitter. I’ll bring Pepper. Y’know she loves Moose and Southy.”

"Probably just a dinner with KayKay." Ashton’s bright smile came up whenever he talked about KayKay.

"Absolutely nothing." Calum said quickly with a slight eye roll. She knew how he felt about Valentine's Day. He hated that day with every fiber in his being.

"We could spend it together Cal, I'm not doing anything either. It can be like old times!" Reminiscing on when they would go their favorite Ramen restaurant in the city and rewatch Criminal Minds at his house whenever they were both free.

As much as only everyone around them knows, they've had a flirty relationship ever since they've met. But what they don’t know is they claim they’re just friends who have occasionally kissed each other, slept in the same bed, and she's worn his clothes more than once but just friends.

But due to them being too awkward to act upon their obvious feelings, they have no official label on whatever they are.

"Ramen on Melrose it is." He laughed making Daniella laugh along with him.

[rocketinthesky]

hey! in case if no one asked for norapinto in the ask game yet, here i am!! i know it's like a budding ship, but i really enjoyed your takes on the other ships as well, and i'm curious if you have some lingering thoughts about them? aaand if i could be greedy, i'd ask for gax as well, since i don't really know much about that pairing (yet) but you seem to enjoy them, so i might came to the right place? :D

ALSO! also thank you so much for sharing my silly little fic? it means a whole lot to me! 😭 ♥

Hello! Ty for mentioning two of my otps lmaoskjdjf (thank YOU for writing norapinto dude we need more content of them ugh thanks for contributing! <3)

As for the ask game i realise i highkey forgot to label the last two asks with the compel factor thing so i’ll do that this time hehe i’ll try to keep my ramblings short

Norapinto: makes sense and compels me very much

I mean yea franco JUST entered the grid and has been in like three races but we already have a LOT to work with for these two.

The reveal that Lando was the first one to text him at when the news broke that Franco was joining the grid?? CMON. Like. Lando?! Wtf?! That’s so fucking sweet. We overlook how much of a sweet guy Lando is and the fact that he was being thoughtful for this rookie who was joining in less than ideal circumstances, immediately doing everything to make Franco more comfortable and relaxed on the grid? CMON.

And ofc before we even had this bit of lore THE DRIVERS PARADE! Franco Yapinto and Lando heart eyes Norris? That pic is going down in fucking history LANDO U CANNOT HIDE FROM ME.

And ofc the post race moment where they were down to duet the interview and the way Lando’s gaze just lingered on Franco, the way they smile at eo, the general EASE in their interactions from what little we’ve seen.

Obv we haven’t seen much yet but like the little we have i just think they’re a fun, fluffy and sweet pairing. Like i just picture Franco the professional yapper yapping away while Lando fondly smiles at him while hanging on to every word. There’s the angle of Lando being a sort of support system for Franco, being a comforting presence to quell his anxieties, to make him feel wanted and less alone with the complicated situation surrounding him getting his seat. Lando who doesn’t wanna see a rookie get consumed by all the not-so spectacular sides of F1, and in the process finds himself falling head over heels for this dude who can’t stfu and is flirty with everyone and sounds hot when he speaks spanish. Then there’s Franco who came into the whole thing with the mentality of maybe staying strong, putting up walls, telling himself he can take all the pressure, but then when he finds Lando so readily offering him so much comfort despite being virtual strangers atp, he feels more relaxed and open.

Anyway they’re fluffy and sweet and total switches ty.

Gax: MAKES SENSE AND COMPELS ME SO MUCH I’M DYING ON THIS HILL

OK SO there’s a surprisingly amount of LORE to gax and i will sum it up without too much rambling: they’ve been racing more or less all their lives tgt in the same categories and stuff since their karting days. They were even teammates at one point in a junior category. The incident that most people know Gax by (and admittedly what got me into F1 to begin with) happened last year in Baku where they had a bit of an inchident with Max confronting him childishly and George just bein his goofy gremlin self.

ANYWAY. A lot of people like to see them as enemies to lovers which i mean hey its a delicious dynamic and i love that but Gax is more complex than that. They’ve have their quarrel but they’re actually really friendly? It’s a friendliness that comes with just knowing eo practically all their lives. They have a mutual respect for eo and always speak good things about one another, but it’s also clear from their racing and few incidents where they clash that neither of them are the types of back down. Max is definitely more explosive in his rage and arrogance but George is a more simmering fire. He will say things as it is with a smile, and i could see how their egos would clash hard cuz they’re both passionate about racing and winning. But they’re also not the types to hold a grudge, they’re able to separate racing from off-track relationships, which is evident in how quickly they made up from the 2023 inchident and went back to their friendly interactions.

I see Gax’s dynamic as something akin to comfort. They’re both sarcastic chaos gremlins who know how to banter and tease, but Max can be a bit explosive and sensitive about racing which might carry out off-track, but George is the type to calmly be both upfront about his stance while not being outright combative. They’d balance each other out in a way, though they’d still have their disagreements and arguments given how prideful they are as drivers.

Gax is a dynamic where there’s an understanding there from the years of being in each other’s orbit. They’ve never been the best of friends but there’s an attraction there, with sparks flying on track, the adrenaline persisting even off track and condensing into a carnal need. It’s confusing at first—they have people they’re much closer with you’d expect them to fall for but then they find each other? It’s unexpected for them too but they fall into the dynamic easily, their sense of humor clicking. They wouldn’t be overly sweet but they’d be pretty domestic imo, like have an easygoing, chill dynamic in their relationship.

The horniness needs to be studied tho esp Max’s obsession with George being shirtless like bro i am NOT kidding about the carnal magnetism between them. As for their bedroom dynamics i’m a 100% bottom max truther and George is such a service top so there’s that :D

Hope any of that made sense lol ty for sending in the ask!

[nyoomfruits]

Can someone, ANYONE, write a Lestappen and Landoscar fic where Max, as Lando’s best friend, notices right away how different Lando acts around Oscar and is immediately like “look Charles LOOK he’s in LOVE.” And Charles is like no?? Bc our poor Monegasque disaster is oblivious as always, and Max has to point out how Charles never noticed that Max was in love with him and Charles is like “yeah ok fair point but also that’s because you constantly looked like you were going to murder me.”

But anyway, Max KNOWS Lando, and he knows Lando is never usually shy around anyone, especially his teammates, and he’s never usually protective of those he cares about (usually people are protective of him). But with Oscar he is so clearly smitten and awkward bc he LIKES HIM, and Max can see all the little ways Lando goes out of his way to try to impress him.

So Charles continues to insist that Lando is merely being friendly with Oscar, until one day — maybe an Alpine team member makes a shitty comment about Oscar (let’s pretend there’s still bad blood there), and Lando goes FERAL. Or one day Logan flirts with Oscar as childhood best friends can sometimes do, and Lando’s just in the corner seething. And Charles and Max witness this and finally Charles is like yeah ok the boy is SO GONE.

And Max is like I TOLD YOU SO and proceeds to be very smug about being right. And obviously Oscar is equally smitten with Lando but Lando is just as oblivious as Charles.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk this FLEW out of me. You and that other anon had me thinking of every precious dynamic between these two and just… I’m obsessed with them. Anyway we need more Landoscar fics thanks bye.

OH MY GOD ANON I'M SO !!!! THANK YOU FOR THIS

charles being both oblivious to max's feelings towards him and also to lando having the BIGGEST MOST MASSIVE CRUSH EVER on oscar is. very in character actually. it's giving 'charles not realizing alex changed his hair even though is was PLATINUM BLOND before'.

also!!!!!!! the lando being super protective yes!!!!!! this is literally the reason i have 'smithereens' by twenty one pilots in my landoscar playlist like these boys are so soft for each other but they will FIGHT anyone that threatens the other lmao (for you, i know, i would get messed up, weigh 153. LISTEN. LISTEN TO ME)

also oscar just quietly pining in the background while all this is going on what a mood. dude has no idea what's going on he's just in love with lando and that's okay. like. lando realizes he's in love with oscar and has a three day panic about it where he calls max at like four in the morning yelling "WAIT SHIT DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS" meanwhile oscar realizes he's in love with lando and he's like. "oh. yeah. makes sense" and just goes on with his day. doesn't really expect anything to come of it. god these two i'm SO-

also also max and charles just coming up with these increasingly elaborate plans to just get lando and oscar to TALK because if they just TALK AOBUT THEIR FEELINGS everything will be FINE but they underestimate lando's absolute RELUCTANCE to talk about his feelings ever and oscar just being like "yeah this is a thing i'm dealing with but i'm not bothering lando with it are you kidding me???"

eventually max and charles just give up and that's when oscar and lando FINALLY have A Moment lmao

OH ALSO!!!! regarding your wish for more landoscar fics: i am actually posting one tonight!!!!

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 3: I'm Still Not Sure What I Stand For

Summary: Theo makes a decision. The Avengers meet a prospective new member.

Author's Notes: Hey look, it's the chapter that has the first snippet I posted back in like, February! This song is split between two chapters, otherwise it would be a 10k chapter... next chapter (again, already written!) will likely come on Saturday, 10/28.

If you enjoy, please reblog!! I'm a lil' blog (less than 100 followers, haha) and reblogs really help me out <3

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 3,957

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Some Nights - fun.

Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck Some nights, I call it a draw Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle Some nights, I wish they'd just fall off But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know anymore

If there was anything Theo could count on, it was that her cousin Max would inevitably disapprove of almost all of Theo’s life choices.

“Are you insane ?” The tenor of her cousin’s voice blared through the speaker, furious about the news she shared. “Seriously Leenie, you know you’re insane, right?”

“Sometimes, that’s all I have to give me comfort.” Theo drawled, cradling her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she packed her apartment up. “Max, don’t you get it? They’re alive - this is our chance!”

“No, no, no –” he retorted, “things are perfectly fine right now! There is no reason for us to go digging up the skeletons we buried -”

“Why are you so upset about this?” She said, rolling her eyes. “You literally have nothing to lose - if this works, we get our lives back. If this doesn’t work, we will stay here and nothing changes!”

“I have nothing–” A strangled groan came from the other side of the phone. “You are impossible, Leenie! What are the others going to think? What’s Mémère going to think? You’re putting all of us at risk–”

“Mémère has been pestering me to help with the shadow creature problem anyways,” Theo interrupted, “and might I remind you that between the two of us, I’m the one who has the authority to make this sort of decision.”

“I can’t – I can’t believe you,” Max sputtered; Theo could picture him walking around his house, flailing his arms in exasperation as she refused to back down on her plan. “After everything we sacrificed to get here, you’re going to risk ruining it for them?” 

“They’re my family, you asshole,” Theo snapped, “and until two nights ago, I thought they were dead. I thought I would never see them again, and I would never see my home again, but now there’s a possibility I can have my life back! So yes, I am willing to risk everything!” Staring at the half-filled boxes around her, Theo sighed; a pang of nostalgia surged through her chest at the thought of seeing the constellations that filled her childhood in something other than her dreams. “Max, they can put an end to all of this - don’t you want to go home?”

For years, Theo had dreams where she experienced the world through her sister’s perspective, but until she found out her sister was alive Theo assumed that was all they were: dreams. Her mind playing tricks on her, making her feel connected to people who hadn’t walked the earth in a long time. It wasn’t hard to rationalize - lots of people dreamt about loved ones after they passed. 

However, if it was true - if they were really alive… Maybe they weren’t just dreams. Maybe she was still connected with them and seeing what they saw. Maybe her sister was staring at the skies like they used to, remembering the tales she told Theo when they’d sneak out late at night to escape the times when it all felt like too much.

Even if Theo had seen the world through Rae’s eyes, she wondered what Rae looked like after all the time that had passed. Was she still as lean as Theo remembered, with sharp cheeks and piercing amethyst eyes that saw through everything? Was her nose still hooked ever-so-slightly? 

A shaky exhale came through the other end of the phone.

“This is our home now, Leens -” Max softened his tone, “I know you miss them, but even if it’s true that they are alive, how do you know they aren’t choosing to stay there? How do you know they would even want to help? Or that it would work?”

“Max, there’s no reason to believe they wouldn’t try to find me again - they’re my family ,” Theo protested, pinching the bridge of her nose with irritation at Max’s very blatant disapproval of her decision. “Look, I get it - after all this time it’s scary to think about the possibility that we gave up hope when they were still alive and we resigned ourselves to being refugees. But wouldn’t you rather know for sure than sit here wondering what if ?”

Theo continued haphazardly tossing items into boxes - she had to have everything ready for moving into the tower. Movers would be coming in a week, and she would have to say farewell to the brownstone she’d called home for so long.

The thought of leaving her little borough was tough to swallow - what would she do when she couldn’t stop into the bodega on her way home from work and tease Carlos about the girl who kept coming in to buy stuff just to talk to him? There was no way the Avengers ever went to bodegas when they needed something, much less talked to normal people. It seemed like they were locked up in their tower whenever they weren’t making appearances or going on flashy missions. They probably had cleaning staff and a chef that they interacted with, but beyond the staff it was difficult to imagine the Avengers living normal lives and running their own errands.

God, if Tony Stark was as obnoxious and boisterous as he seemed, being locked in a tower with him would absolutely result in Theo committing murder… 

Maybe she shouldn’t have agreed to this. 

But if it meant she could be reunited with her family, if they could finally go home and rebuild… Maybe she could hold off on murdering the Avengers’ sugar daddy.

“I can’t stop you from doing this, can I?” 

Max’s voice snapped Theo back to the present.

“No, you can’t.” Theo shook her head, adjusting how she cradled the phone so she could tape a box closed. “I gave SHIELD my terms today and they accepted. Whether you like it or not, I’m going. You’re second in command while I’m gone - you know that, right?” 

“Fucking insane,” Max muttered, “This is fucking insane.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first thirty times.” Theo replied, rolling her eyes yet again.

“Fine, fine! I will try to keep Mémère in line and make sure shit doesn’t implode,” Max relented, “You have to tell the council though - I do not condone this whatsoever.”

Fuck, Theo forgot about the council.

“Chill out - I’m sure Mémère already told them.” 

Well, she was assuming, but they’d find out one way or another. After all, there was going to be a press conference to announce her new role upon completion of SHIELD’s onboarding process, so it wasn’t like it was going to be a secret.

Max’s frustration meant the conversation didn’t last much longer; then again, it wasn’t like there was much else for the two to discuss. If anything, she was a bit relieved to be done talking to him, even if he was family.

The moment Max was no longer on the phone, Theo let out an exhausted sigh.

Maybe Max was right - maybe she was getting caught up in this for nothing. Maybe she wouldn’t get to them in time. Maybe it was actually a lie after all. Maybe this would re-open old wounds. Maybe she would be killed before finding anything. Maybe…

Wings flapping brought Theo’s attention to her open window. A pair of black, beady eyes stared at her, iridescent feathers shimmering in the light from Theo’s apartment.

Not a crow - too big to be a crow. The beak wasn’t like a crow’s, and the feathers around it were far more pronounced. 

Definitely a raven.

Ravens weren’t common in urban areas, and seeing one on its own? 

Well, if that wasn’t a sign, she didn’t know what was. 

This is it, boys, this is warWhat are we waiting for?Why don't we break the rules already?I was never one to believe the hypeSave that for the black and whiteTry twice as hard, and I'm half as likedBut here they come again to jack my style

“Dr. Theolene Amaris,” Nick Fury’s voice rang out in the meeting room as a picture of a lithe woman appeared on screen. “ - also known as the Silver Shadow, the Celestial Phantom, and the Cursed Moon.”

It was only a few hours earlier that everyone was notified of the mandatory briefing, which was described as “urgent.” 

Moments before, Loki found himself pondering the nature of the briefing while everyone packed into a bright conference room. In front of each Avenger, a manila file folder sat prepared for them with information related to the subject in question.The faces of his team members shifted as they developed their first impressions on the subject of their briefing, her likeness blown up on the screen at the front of the room. 

Despite exceeding the capacity of the space, Loki managed to secure his usual seat in the back, conveniently located near the door for an easy escape. It was a habit that lingered from his earlier days in the tower, but having an easy escape from what were normally tedious meetings was still a benefit that Loki took advantage of more often than not. Even better, there was an empty seat next to him, lessening the otherwise inevitable sense of claustrophobia that would have eventually reared its ugly head.

She really didn’t look like much. The only noteworthy feature in her appearance was the thick mane of silver hair that tumbled down her back, stopping just above her waist. Otherwise, she appeared to be like any other Midgardian: clad in all-black, a beanie atop her head with black sunglasses obscuring her features as she walked down the street. If Loki passed her in real life, there was no way he’d offer her a second glance, or even a first.

With that in mind, it was safe to assume that in this first image, she was practicing urban camouflage – blending in with her surroundings by altering her appearance and attire to mimic those around her. The less attention she drew to herself, the easier it would be to slip in and out unnoticed; it also created an additional challenge if anyone sought to locate her. As someone who’d had plenty of experience with stealth, Loki already had an idea of what her skill sets may include.

Stark studied the first image of her, brow furrowed as he spoke up. “Hell of a name, but she doesn’t look like much. What’s her doctorate in? Bad poetry? Sad music? Scaring parents?”

“Emergency Medicine.” Fury glared at Stark while Agent Hill changed the display to a second photograph. “Assuming she isn’t a serious threat is both the first and last mistake you’ll make about her.”

The second image must have been captured in combat. She crouched down as though she just landed from a maneuver, the obsidian hood of a frayed cloak masking the top half of her face as she held a black longsword composed entirely of what appeared to be magic in one hand. Her other hand radiated with darkness as it touched the ground, ready to launch some kind of spell. Blood smeared across her jawline, a scowl across her lips as a pair of corpses lay in the background. Unlike the first photo, now he could see a scar that ran down past the bottom of her lip, almost giving her the appearance of a permanently split lip. A second scar cut through the outside edge of her eyebrow, angling out towards her temple.

One detail piqued his interest: of all the realms that Loki had visited, he did not recognize where she was. He had to give it to Fury – this picture certainly made her appear far more intimidating.

“She specializes in shadow magic—“

The room erupted as all the Avengers fired off questions at the director.

“Shadow magic? Wait, is she the one behind those shadow beast-things we’ve been fighting lately?”

“What does she want?”

“Is she working for Dr. Doom?”

“Did HYDRA give her those powers?”

“What kind of villain studies emergency medicine?”

“Maybe this will help explain things.” Agent Hill tapped a screen as the image before them went to a video.

Loki had seen this video before - it was nearly impossible to miss, having been plastered all across the news for weeks. A Midgardian woman single-handedly eliminated an entire swarm of the shadowy monsters that had plagued New York City recently, all while in a subway car. Somehow, no one knew who she was or the methods used to exterminate the pests. It was obvious from the video that it was magic of some kind, though it was different from any magic Loki had ever encountered in his life and it did not resemble anything he had ever studied. Though he hadn’t admitted it to anyone, he was curious to meet this Midgardian and learn her abilities for himself.

Of course, that was assuming she was Midgardian. There were many species who appeared to be Midgardian, though biologically they were different. Usually, it was easy for Loki to sense if someone was Aesir, Midgardian, or otherwise; however, no indication that she was anything extraterrestrial revealed itself to him.

No, this woman must have been Midgardian. 

“That’s her?” Romanoff inquired, arching a perfectly groomed brow at Hill. 

“Wait wait wait , I thought she was the bad guy, but she’s killing the shadowy monsters here…” Wilson said, gawking at the screen. “Unless she’s really crazy and likes killing her own, this doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m telling you, if she’s the big bad and studied Emergency Medicine, she’s definitely got a screw loose,” Barnes said, “and that’s coming from the guy with a vibranium arm.”

“This incident was weeks ago - how is it that we are just now learning of her identity?” Rhodes interjected.

“She is not our enemy,” Agent Hill finally explained, raising her voice over the incessant chatter. “She has agreed to help the Avengers find the root cause of the shadow creature problem and exterminate the beasts.”

Stunned silence permeated the room. The ticking of the clock above Fury’s perpetual scowl only emphasized the blaring lack of sound. 

Loki could count on one hand the number of times he had ever witnessed total silence from the group; to see the group go from so animated to so silent nearly gave him whiplash.

“She’s joining the Avengers?” Stark’s disbelief was painted all over his face. “Emo queen Rapunzel is joining the Avengers?”

“Not exactly,” Agent Carter said, “She is coming on board specifically to help with the shadow creatures.”

“If she’s so powerful, why isn’t she already a part of the Avengers?” Banner asked, leaning in as he met Fury’s glare.

“This is a temporary arrangement.” Fury crossed his arms. “We struck a deal with her.”

“So she comes in and helps with the shadow creatures, and then what - she just disappears?” Captain Rogers pressed, “Don’t you think someone with expertise in shadow magic should be kept under close watch?”

“You’d be a fool to think she hasn’t been on SHIELD’s radar for a long time.” Fury crossed his arms and glowered at the group. “She turned down past offers to join the Avengers. Your mission is to convince her to stay.”

“Convince her to stay?” Romanoff shot Fury a wary glance, while others regarded the director as though he grew another head. 

“Assuming all goes well, we want her to remain on the team after the shadow creatures are eliminated,” Agent Hill explained. “She is highly adept in both physical and magical combat, and she has expertise in stealth operations. She fills in some key areas of the team that have been lacking, while her versatility allows her to fit into a variety of smaller teams with ease. However, we need you to convince her to stay.”

“Dr. Amaris cut her teeth in a different realm,” Fury added. “She has trained with threats far more powerful than what we have encountered here on earth, and fought to survive in far worse scenarios. Her experiences and insight would be invaluable in our operations.”

“Okay, but if you had to strike a deal with her, that still raises some questions…” Banner hesitated, raising an eyebrow at Fury. “It makes it sound like she wasn’t exactly keen to help protect the world.”

“Her skills are far too valuable to not be utilized.” Fury glared at Banner. “What I was going to say before someone interrupted my briefing is that she is also an incredibly powerful healer.“

“How do we know we can trust her?” Wilson asked. “I’m no wizard, but shadow magic sounds like trouble at best.”

Barton agreed. “Besides, Nat has us covered in stealth.”

“You know how to make a woman feel appreciated.” Romanoff coyly winked at Barton. 

While Loki wasn’t one to regularly agree with Wilson, for once he made a good point: this was something Loki was unfamiliar with, and at the very least it sounded dubious. 

“Because if I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead.”

Every head in the room snapped towards the entrance, eyes wider than dinner plates as they gawked at the source of the voice.

Leaning against the closed conference room door was the subject of their briefing. In real life, Theolene Amaris was smaller than Loki expected - not short by any means, as she appeared to be slightly taller than Maximoff and Romanoff; she was probably the average height for a Midgardian woman. However, she was lanky, with elongated limbs and a slight figure. She carried her head high with relaxed posture, one leg crossed in front of the other as she leaned on the doorframe with hands loosely tucked in her pockets. She didn’t seem to be intimidated by the strong personalities in front of her, even as she crashed their briefing.

Dr. Amaris sauntered into the room, eyes scanning over each of the Avengers with a smirk on her face. When she reached Loki she paused, quirking her head to the side as the curl of her lips increased. “Looks like one of us might need to change.”

At first, Loki was perplexed by her remark. Upon a second glance, it became obvious. They both wore almost identical outfits: black button-up shirts with the sleeves rolled to the elbows, tucked into tailored black trousers that showed a bit of ankle, and black Oxford shoes. 

He couldn’t help the snort that escaped him, a smile creeping across his own features as he allowed his shoulders to relax. 

It was unusual for someone to make him laugh, especially on a first encounter. And to shock the Avengers in such a way? Well, he certainly was intrigued.

“It seems we have similar tastes in apparel,” Loki commented coolly, wondering about the nature of her remark. 

Just then, Theo pulled a hand out of her pocket and snapped her fingers, instantly changing her outfit into a pair of ripped black jeans, a faded gray shirt emblazoned with some sort of sigil and the word “Queen,” and a pair of black sneakers. 

Loki could feel the magic pouring off of her - while she was no god, it was apparent to him that Fury wasn’t kidding when he said she was much more powerful than she let on.

“There, that’s better.” She dropped into the seat beside Loki, leaning back and kicking her feet up onto the table before sticking out one hand. “You must be Loki?”

“Indeed, and you must be Dr. Amaris.” Loki offered a wry grin, shaking her hand with a firm grip. “A fellow sorcerer, I see.”

“You could say that,” She winked, returning the gesture with a firm grip. “Call me Theo. Dr. Amaris is what my residents call me.”

From the opposite side of Theo, Thor beamed at the sight of his brother being surprisingly friendly to the Avengers’ newest addition. 

It took every ounce of self-restraint for Loki to prevent himself from rolling his eyes at his older brother. “Pleasure to meet you, Theo.” 

“Don’t get any funny ideas with Rapunzel here, Reindeer Games.” Stark warned, apparently having already settled on a nickname for the newest team member. 

Loki’s attention diverted to Stark, sending invisible daggers at the man. Even though they had come a long way from the distrust present when Loki first joined the team, there were certainly still moments where Stark got on his nerves.

This time it was Theo’s turn to snort. 

“Rapunzel? That’s the best nickname you’ve got, Tin Man?” Theo cocked one eyebrow at the billionaire as she laughed, brushing a piece of hair over her shoulder. “I may have long hair, but good luck with trying to lock me up in this tower.” 

“Watch out, or I might invent something so I can–”

“-- Then again, you named your AI system FRIDAY, so I shouldn’t be surprised,” She continued, unfazed by Stark’s threat. “Seriously, what the hell kind of name is that?”

“Says the person named Theolene...” 

“First of all, I just told you - I go by Theo, not Theolene. Second, I can’t help it that my mother has terrible taste in names. Third, Loki’s helmet has horns, not reindeer antlers. For a genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist , you should know the difference.” Theo turned to the other Avengers. “And while I’m correcting people, I don’t specialize in shadow magic. I specialize in celestial magic, of which shadow magic is a subset. Dr. Doom is a joke, HYDRA wishes they gave me these powers, and my refusal to become an Avenger has nothing to do with a lack of desire to protect people, it’s because I don’t want to spend my time playing superhero when I can be more useful as a doctor. Although whichever one of you suggested I had a screw loose - Bucky, I believe? - was probably right. At least, my cousin would agree with you. He’s pissed that I agreed to this.”

For the second time in mere minutes, the entirety of the Avengers were stunned into silence. If there were two words that best described the collective response, “utter bewilderment” would be Loki’s choice. 

“Wait a minute—“ Wilson blurted out, “How long have you been listening to our briefing? Have you been here this whole time?”

“Long enough to know you are just as skeptical of me as I am of you. It’s nothing personal, I know - I would be skeptical of me too! still, this has been enlightening.” Theo rose to her feet, gliding back to the entrance. She spun around, bowing with a dramatic flourish while flashing a cheshire grin at the crowd. “See you next Monday for your press conference!”

With a flick of her wrist, a series of black runes appeared all over her arms, flowing down her limbs like a stream of water. When they reached her fingertips, they rose into the air and evolved, surrounding her until she was obscured from view; in a flash of white, she disappeared, leaving nothing but a faint shimmer. The entire process took at most a few seconds, but the effect lingered far longer. 

It was a finale to the encounter that was almost as dramatic as her introduction.

If Loki’s instincts were correct, she was just getting started.

And that's alright (That's alright) I found a martyr in my bed tonight She stops my bones from wondering Just who I, who, I, who I am Oh, who am I? Mmm, mmm...

[cx-boxbox]

☉ SHARK TANK: max f/lando or max f/oscar

hello sharks 🧍‍♂️*checks notes* *notes are just "ahhhhhhh"'s and keyboard smashes and explicitives*

i just love max's relationship with lando like the childhood best friends to lovers and max's pining and landos obliviousness. there are two like quotes or whatever that i relate to their relationship; the one is that tiktok trend where it shows the two guys and the one has text over him saying i wish you were a girl (the more i think about this the more im convinced im making it up but you get the gist) (the guy with the text would be lando in this scenario). and the second is max "gay but doesn't know he's in love with his best friend" fewtrell and lando "in love with his best friend but doesn't know he's gay" norris.

but then also max and oscar's relationship esp if it's like "we both hate to love lando cause he doesn't love us". either that or "we're sick of landos bullshit let's fuck about it" like in the feel it start to permeate series by peachbellini.

(alternatively we could have "oscar i cannot do this alone pls help me" like in plus one by limabima. (or something else with the three of them idk idk))

but a prompt if you wanted one; lando, max and oscar are drunk, oscar and lando are like "together but not together think they're being very discreet but they're not" and max gets annoyed cause he's jealous (of who? know one knows) and lando confronts him and hes all nonchalant and cool about it like yeah i wanna fuck you both but like a normal amount and only cause i'm drunk but then while fucking maybe he accidentally tells them how much he's wanted this with both of them for years??? idk basically they fuck nasty about it and it's all very fluffy

also question that you don't have to answer ofc but why haven't you written max f? is it as simple as you haven't felt the urge or inspiration? or do you just like landoscar and don't wanna mess with perfection?

this feels like my thesis statement i blacked out and when i came to, this was written

☉ SHARK TANK: make a case for why I should write a character, pairing, or trope that I haven’t yet!

Okay, WHAT a case. I feel like I'm back in middle school debate tournaments in the best way possible. Honestly, the only reason I haven't written them is because I'm terrible at branching out (see: my stab at lestappen).

But I love love love Lando/Max F because there's the whole childhood friends to lovers trope, the slight angst of Max dropping out of racing, and the fluff of him still being so supportive.

Also have you seen the clips of Lando falling asleep in Max's room?? Extremely important.

Anyway, I'm all for Lando being railed (and cuddled) by one or multiple people.

From this post.

[whatyourusherthinks]

Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

HELL YEAH MORE SUPERMAN. And this is a documentary about the guy who played Superman in the original movies? Awesome. I've never seen those movies, but I don't have to know they are infinitely better than those fucking Zack Snyder ones. Anyway, as soon as I heard about it I was incredibly excited. I wasn't sure if I was gonna review this movie, since I don't think people engage with documentaries the same way they engage with structured narratives, so I didn't know if my review style would work. But I want to tell people about this movie so I'll muddle through.

By the way Tumblr, and I'm speaking to the users and not the website this time, thank you SO MUCH for having EVERY SINGLE top post under the Superman tag be about FUCKING BATMAN. GOD FORBID I TRY TO ENJOY SOMETHING DC RELATED AND NOT GET REMINDED OF THE GOTH FURRY.

What's The Movie About.

Christopher Reeve and his role as Superman, his accident and subsequent adjustment to life, and the founding of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation.

What I Like.

The whole movie, pretty much. I like the way they present the information, I like the glimpse into Christopher Reeve's life. They were incredibly respectful of the man while still acknowledging his flaws. They showed a lot of footage of home videos his wife took and I liked seeing hi trying to spend time with his kids after his accident. I didn't know Christopher Reeve directed movies either, that's pretty cool. I actually didn't know a lot about him, so this movie was fascinating. Probably the coolest thing was learning that he was best friends with Robin Williams, although it seems obvious in hindsight. Like of course the man who's still who I want to be when I grow up is best friends with Superman! The biggest thing I like about this movie was the message of never giving up. Christopher (and his wife, who I learned died of cancer only two years after he died) was faced with an impossible situation, and he never gave up. There were moments of weakness, sure. But he persevered. He kept fighting. I'm absolutely not ashamed to admit this movie made me cry like four or five times, and all of them were in relation to Chris overcoming or succumbing to the more tragic parts of his life. (Or when Glenn Close said Robin would probably still be alive if Chris was like WOMAN YOU CAN'T DO ME LIKE THAT.) There's a really cool visual of a stature of Superman/Christopher floating through spaces that get's green crystals when they talk about Chris's injuries and the movie opens with an awesome shot of the statue right in front of nebula that looks like a cape. It's so cool that I completely disregard that the movie should have ended on that shot instead of opened on it. Either way, this movie is really quite excellent.

What I Didn't Like.

It's just a shame YOU CAN'T WATCH THIS ANYWHERE. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS A LIMITED RELEASE?! I get it's a documentary and maybe that doesn't have as much appeal as a regular comic book movie, but our theater is showing this movie for only TWO DAYS. I HAD TO PAY TO WATCH IT. Yes, I was happy to, it was a worthwhile experience. But why limit the opportunity for people to watch it? Seriously. This is baffling.

Final Summation.

This is a movie about Superman and hope of course I like this movie. I guess watch it on Max in like a month. I guess I was kind right about not being able to review documentaries as easily, but honestly the half-assed nature of this piece might be just because this movie is pretty damn good. I don't have much to say beyond that.