#possibly unhealthy relationship

[raze-animus]

your obedient dog, that is who i am

i have always said just what you wanted to hear,

but is it what i mean? i could not tell you

your love might be everything i have ever needed,

so i wait for it you say it will come,

but i have been sitting by your side for months, years

and have nothing you have my body

i gave it to you, just as i gave you my heart, my thought

i bear my teeth but it's a smile for you

the violent wolf i have always claimed to be has been tamed,

i am what you want i am what you need

i am the companion you hold by your side, what you take

take for granted, maybe take away from, maybe

and i will continue to let you take, take, and take from me

because the thought of just your love

is sweet enough to keep me around, tame and quiet

sweet enough, so i am your obedient dog

[thetrinitytest]

[giantkillerjack]

Betty is so relatable I would do the same shit for my wife

[shadystranger]

samdean bring world order by making everyone put their differences aside and all come together to agree they're freaky and need help

[tyrannuspitch]

i don't know why i'm thinking about crimson peak again, but i am, so here you go. some semi-coherent musings:

i've seen a lot of people react negatively to thomas and edith's confrontation in the climax (you tried to kill me / i did / you said you loved me / i do) because they see it as an attempt to "redeem" thomas, and they don't think it succeeds at that. but honestly i've never interpreted it that way?

what i've always taken away from it is more like... thomas just doesn't see the love and the violence as inherently contradictory. like, i'm not saying he currently wants to kill her, but he doesn't seem to see the gravity of the fact that he did. he was raised on violence. all his major interactions with the world have involved someone hurting him (parents; almost certainly boarding school), or him hurting someone else (wives). the only loving relationship he ever had before edith was with lucille, and that's deeply unhealthy on both sides... to the point that when he has this exchange, he's minutes away from being murdered by lucille.

lucille has her own speech about violence and love which frames the two as fundamentally intertwined, and her violence as coming from love, which is both tragic and horrifying in its own way. but i feel like thomas' thing isn't even... that. it's just like... stark coexistence. as an onlooker you naturally want to reconcile these two parts of him somehow, to fold the love into the violence or the violence into the love, but you can't. they're just both true at once. i can't quite put into words why, but i want to call it eerie.

(and i think this is part of the point of thomas disparaging edith's writing, too: he calls it sentimental and simplistic because it's not how he works. he's not just a villain, and he's not just a tragedy. he's both, and he remains both throughout the story. there isn't any comfortable conclusion to him. maybe he wasn't unsaveable, but he also wasn't saved.)

so. as i see it, it's not "he tried to kill her, but he loves her." it's: "he tried to kill her, and he loves her."

like, yes, of course, you're right, thomas' love of edith doesn't make the violence less real. but. it is also true that thomas' violence towards edith doesn't make the love less real. does that unsettle you? good.

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

besides the byler of it all, can we talk about how powerful it would be for milkdud not to be endgame in s5?

like the idea that a woman's happy ending doesn't have to include her ending up with the guy? the message that it is okay to love and care about someone without the pressure to be in a romantic relationship with them? the healthiness of setting boundaries and exploring who you are, especially as a teenager (not to mention one who grew up in a literal lab and never had the chance to be a person before a relationship was thrust on her)?? just the IMPACT it would have to see the main female lead be allowed to come into her own and find support in friends and familial love and for that to be the end??? for her to be happy that this is where her story ends??

that is what we should be teaching the children.

[ww2yaoi]

lewis nixon will always be king alcoholic but I do feel in my headcanon heart of hearts that webster has a binge drinking problem LMAO

[coquelicoq]

i refuse to feel responsible if my friend's relationship ends up being a bad idea even though there was a period of time in which he would have broken up with her if i had told him to and i didn't. because that is too much power to have in someone else's relationship. he needs to make his own decisions and if they turn out to be mistakes that is not on me.

[aq2003]

there comes a beautiful time in life where i have to ask myselg th question, "did i accidentally project too hard onto the character that i only relate to a little bit and in doing so hugely missed this one entire aspect/interpretation of the characters . am i stupid"

[bad-as-me]

i've been sooooo in my feelings about miquella and malenias relationship lately...

[listranz]

xd but I have a feeling that this song is damn suitable for alutegra and andercard

[gideonslut]

the locked tomb series is what happens when you give toxic lesbians a publishing deal, and personally I believe it needs to happen more

[simcardiac-arrested]

thoughts on something borrowed (2011) ^_^

okay hi im 6 hours late because im busy as a whale but see i Liked this movie is the thing. it was horrible it was so bad but i was watching it at 9pm and i was so fascinated by how bad it was that i even Liked it a little bit. like i said it was like a car crash. absolutely terrible but i couldnt bring myself to look away. okay so get this there's these two best friends rachel and darcy and the second one is about to get married. The thing is that they are first of all the trope where it's like loser nerd girl who's never socially achieved anything & blonde slaygirl who's annoying and self centered but also weirdly cares in her own way and also fucks everyone. Ok. so darcy is about to get married to this guy dex and she and him go to a party to celebrate rachel's 30th birthday. and then rachel and dex are left alone and he does some shit and she goes this is why i had a crush on you in law school ... and then they MAKE OUT? AND FUCK? LIKE JUS T SUDDENLY JUST LIKE THAT LIEK HUHHHH? HELLO? it's like ok i get you're drunk but seriousy how can you do this to your best friend when she's getting married in a few days. But whatever. AND THE WORST THING IS DEX IS THE MOST WHITE BREAD BORING ASS GUY LIKE THERE IS NOTHINGGGGGG ABOUT HIM THAT MAKES DOING ANY OF THIS WORTH IT he';s literally just. there. and then basically they continue doing fuckall for 2 hours and all rachel does is get mad that dex is still with darcy (?? what is he supposed to do he's supposed to get married to her) and she tries to make him jealous constantly and it's so dumb. ESH you are all horrible people. which is to say darcy spends the whole time slaying and being a self absorbed cunt like always but then in the second half of the movie we also find out she's been cheating on dex??? WITH THE GUY WHO SHE THOUGHT RACHEL WAS WITH ????? and then it turns out she got PREGNANT from him????? SO THEY BOTH CALL OFF THE WEDDING?????????? but then darcy realizes rachel has been fucking dex and she gets SO mad she's like I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU even though 2 seconds ago she was like lol yea it's fine no more wedding i don't think it was working out. and im pregnant from another dude anyways lol haha WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FUCKED DEX? anyways. if you even care rachel had a best friend who was helping her through all of this and supporting her and he was always trying to push her to do what he wants. and they gave like 0 romantic vibes EVER but then out of the blue at the end of the movie he goes Well i like you. and rachel is like oh lol well sorry im too into thjis white dude who is too much of a pussy to do anythiung ever regarding our relationship. and her bestie is like ok. AND I WAS SO BAFFLED BY THIS ROMANTIC REVEAL BUT AT THIS POINT ? THEY SHOULDVE GOTTEN TOGETHER BECAUSE THAT DUDE PUT SO MUCH MORE EFFORT IN THAN DEX EVER DID ADN HE WAS ALSO LESS BORING AND ACTUALLY HAD A PERSONALITY. ok. and then the movie ends and rachel and dex are together and it's like yayyy!!! BUT WHO FUCKIGN CARES THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS SO BORING AND STUPID . LITERALLY ESH YOU ARE ALL HORRIBLE PEOPLE DONT LET ANYBODY ELSE GET INVOLVED INM YOUR RELATIONSHIP. great movie it was making my face contort with expressions previously unknown to human biology

[hirazuki]

Something in the Darkness

Eöl/Aredhel | M | First Age | canon compliant | angst, suggestive, bits of fluff | one-shot [AO3]

Something in the darkness pulled me deeper Something in the madness eased my mind Was I awake or was I dreaming? - Blackmore's Night

•────────────────────⋅☾ ☽⋅────────────────────•

“I wove an enchantment to lead you here,” he confesses against her, lips moving lazily along the lines of her ribs. “On the day you first rode near these woods.”

He had not intended to tell her – not now; not ever, truly – but the haze of pleasure loosens tongues and this particular instance has left him exceptionally complacent, satisfaction spreading throughout him like molten metal running hot and thick and heavy through the grooves of a mold, and he lies boneless, senseless, in her arms. 

Her hand – that has been absently stroking his back, occasionally coming up to tug at the tangles they have created in his hair – stops.

With a start, Eöl realizes what he has said. 

He braces himself; for claws, for teeth, for temper. She may have come to him wrapped in royalty and fine raiment, but he is under no illusion that the creature he has taken to bed is anything other than as ill-suited for conventional society as he. It would never have taken root between them otherwise, this thing of hunger that they share. He may acknowledge it his for its planting, but she, too, has kept it well-fed; fervently so. It has bloomed shadows, as all things do in this dim land, and they two stand as though reflections across the water’s edge – dark and bright; maker and reaper; each, the other's predator; each, the other’s prey. 

Aredhel laughs. 

It startles him – unexpected, like a sudden storm or eyes in thickets or the sharpness of a twisted antler at one’s back – and he is reminded that wild and unpredictable does not always equate to violence. She is as the forest, and, like the forest, as inclined to play as to the hunt. 

He turns his head to look up at her in confusion, all the same, when he feels the sound under his cheek.

“I know,” she replies, amused, and runs her fingers through the still-damp strands that cling to his face. It is an unconscious act, to brush away any worry, presumably, for her manner is uncommonly gentle with him, more akin to the way he has seen her with the horses. “I have walked with gods in Valinor; did you think I would not recognize when a spell has been laid around me?”

He frowns, solid brows coming together to cast his already severe seeming into deeper relief. “Then why did you – ”

“Try as I might – and believe me, I did – I could not break out!” Another burst of laughter, and it falls like light upon rippling water or the wind dancing in glass chimes, and fades away just as fast, as her mirth settles. She places a careful finger on the bridge of his nose, slowly tracing it all the way down, and lightly taps it at its end. “And you roused my curiosity.”

Eöl chuckles. It is no more than an exhalation, and deep, from a secret place far inside his chest, but it is rare and she is ever the only one to see this side of him, and he is aware of how she delights in it and in the knowledge of it as well. He rises up on his forearms and pulls himself higher, closer to her, sliding his body over her legs and waist until their eyes are level. 

“You should not follow strange enchantments,” he whispers into her lips, and feels the reflection of their mingled breaths warm upon his own. “You never know what you might find.”

“And you should not cast them,” she whispers back, leaning forward until both her words and her mouth are pressed into him. “You never know what you might catch.”

He loves her. 

It is more than the falling shadow of her hair, whose soft weight is currently sweeping over his bareness as she shifts to rest against him, and her skin that is pale and shining as moonlight, and her lips, ripe for the taking like red berries in summer; though it had been desire for these things that had stirred eagerly in his blood at the first.

He loves her and he knows this, despite never having loved anything other than his craft and his woods before, just as he knows it is not the kind of love he has seen nest in others’ eyes. He has found dark things with her, urges that strangle and bruise and choke; they snake like the crawling vines of Nan Elmoth, wrapping around naked limbs and souls alike, in the deep shade where caress all too easily slides to crushing. She has shown no alarm at them, fearless as she is, and has terrible thirsts of her own that he knows she is slaking for the first time, for they have no place in the glistering palaces of her people, with their wide open skies and their fountains in the sun.

She does not do well in cages, and that is another thing he knows; neither does he, else he would have remained in Doriath. But cages are all that is left to them in this world, between the terror in the North and the tearing of the twilight and the arrival of those who have brought fire and fury to these lands, and he is determined that, at the least, it will be a cage of his own making. And so he has taken great care in crafting this one, with its bars of trees and ceiling of stars and winding paths that lead far under the moon. 

They are of a kind, he and she: restless spirits roaming the wilds, ill at ease among their own kin, ever searching for something that will soothe the nameless need that eats away at them; for a place they can abide. 

He thought he had found it, years ago, in these starlit woods. Wrongly; for he is certain he has it now and it casts what came before as immaterial as the mists that hover over the neighboring fields, for now he holds the sun in his sheets, and he is loath to do anything but coil himself around her. He wishes to keep her here, always, and fears what he will do to that end; he will swallow her, if he must. 

It is his fiercest hope – hidden well, behind every glance and within every deed, and it rears its head every time she seeks him – that this holds true for her as well; that it will prove to be enough and she will always stay. But a part of him – the one that reads stones and can taste the tidings in the air and sometimes dreams of sharp eyes and sharper rocks and a city burning in the night – knows that light slips through fingers more surely than water, and the echo of doom has thrummed low in his veins since he first sighted her, a gleam of white in the waning of the year.

Eöl closed his eyes to it then just as he drags his mind away from it now – away from fate, away from ruin, away from anything that is not two circles of blue-gray, almost wholly consumed by the black at their center, and the warmth under his hands. 

“I do hope your curiosity was sated to your satisfaction, my lady,” he offers, returning to her.

Aredhel laughs again and rolls them both over, pinning him down and burying her face into the side of his neck. He allows this of her, going still and docile under her touch; he knows she allows many things of him in turn.

“Nay, my lord,” she says, with teeth around his pulse, and, when she closes in, it is with the excitement of a hound at its quarry and it draws a litany of sounds that no other has ever heard issue from his throat. She relaxes her jaw and releases him, licking at the injury even as she moves to better sit astride him. “Nowhere near.”

[puppyeared]

uhh. uhhhhh