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helioooss · 4 months ago

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hard times

part two

synopsis: you have been dating mina in secret for nearly five years now. things start to fall apart after her fans finally raise speculations about your true relationship with her

w/c: 7.4k ((oops, got carried away and dragged it out))

warnings: mentions of alcohol…lots of angst. actually just pure angst

a/n: if i had a dollar for every time i yelled “girl, stand up for yourself” while writing this, i’d have like $6. againnnn, not proofread, was sleep deprived writing this, also only had 12 hours of free time at work <//3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The early rays of sunlight cracked through the blackout curtains of your apartment window, sending out golden hues of light to wake you up. You turned over to wrap your arms around your girlfriend, but to your surprise, were met with cold sheets and an empty bed instead.

In confusion, you slowly opened your eyes - melting away any remnants of sleep. As far as you were aware, she had nothing written down on her schedule today.

You were about to reach out for your phone when you noticed the answer to your question: a handwritten note sitting on the bedside table from no other than Mina herself.

A smile tugged on the corners of your lips, she knew you too well.

good morning my love, i got called into a morning meeting with head office today. i should be back home for lunch!

love, minari <3

Sitting up, you let the familiar silence settle around you. You were suddenly reminded of how lucky you were to be a part of Mina's life - to be able to call her your own, she chose you even when the rest of the world wanted her.

Four years later, your love for her only grew deeper with every sunset and beating of your heart. The timeless moments that built your relationship; from the late-night game dates, flying to every tour show, holding her hand as she achieved her dreams and even the silly little arguments that made your relationship stronger — you were grateful for them all.

The light that she brought into your life was otherworldly- she was everything (and perhaps more) you needed.

Though sometimes, there were moments where you wished you could just tell the world about your girlfriend because the world outside of yours, you were only one of her closest friends. At least, her family and friends knew, and to some extent, her company. You could write a million books about her and it still wouldn't be enough.

There was a delicate balance in the fragile world you built together. Mina worked as a popstar and you were an independent producer.

It helped that you grew up with one of her bandmates, Jihyo, who (unfortunately) was always a good first excuse whenever questions were raised as to why you were so dedicated to being present in almost every show. Secondly, you were one of their producers.

Besides that, you had pretty much perfected the art of being Mina's best friend. Anniversaries were orchestrated carefully, always planned months ahead of time and any public appearances involved being friendly with her as possible. Your longing smiles and shared looks were a soft reminder of your love for each other, and that was enough for now.

In the corner of your dimly lit studio, you worked in front of the mixer endlessly - isolated from the rest of the world as you poured yourself into your craft. You were constantly attempting to push JYP into releasing more music outside of TWICE's comfort zone, something the girls had respected you for.

The buzzing of your phone pulled you out of your work trance as you frantically grabbed it out of your pocket. It was Jihyo and it had to be something important if she was calling you at ten in the morning.

"What brings forth the Queen's presence?" you chuckled, however, she held her silence on the other end. "Hello, earth to Jihyo?"

"Have you seen the link Momo and Dahyun sent you?"

You frowned at the seriousness in her tone, the weight of her emotions passing to you. "Good morning to you too, and no, I've been working since I got up."

She heaved out a sigh. "It's not looking too good, Y/N, not good at all."

"What are you on about?"

Within a second, you were scrolling through the group chat you shared with the other members. Multiple links were sent out and you wish you hadn't clicked on it because the sudden doom you were feeling was horrifying - your world had just been turned upside down.

Mina and Y/N - more than friends?

The first one you had clicked was a video compiled of Mina's longing stares, the changes in her mood whenever your name was mentioned and of course, the moments you two shared together in public as friends being carefully dissected. She wore a different persona around you - the one you were only meant to see, and it didn't click to you how painfully obvious it was.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you muttered as you clicked another link, heart racing as you watched the headlines unfold.

This time, it was a tweet; a photo of her in one of her many disguises next to a photo of you and her holding hands at the beach...the only indication pointing to her was the fact that she wore the exact same outfit.

There were more "evidences" but you had seen enough.

You have never felt this violated in your life, years of cherished memories were now tarnished by the mere fact that it was being shared around for the public to scrutinise. It would be a lie to say that you two had not prepared for this, but there was always the illusion of your lives being separate - safe in the world you had built.

"It's going to be okay," Jihyo tried her best to comfort you in her soft voice. "Is she not home?"

"No, she told me she got called into a meeting and I'm assuming it's all because of this mess," you plopped your head against your pillow, a million thoughts already running through your head. "Do you think she'll get kicked out of the group?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jihyo scoffed at you. "We aren't Twice without Mina. The only options for JYP are to either confirm, deny or not say anything at all."

"I'm going to lose her, I know it," you gasped out, running your fingers through your hair. "What am I going to do?"

"You know what Mina always says about you, Y/N?" it was Chaeyoung's voice on the line this time. "That she wouldn't be able to do all of this glitz and glamour if she didn't have you in it. You're her anchor, remember that.

"Thank you," you strung out, voice heavy. "I appreciate it."

"Your relationship will always have our support, we love you as much as we love that penguin."

Mina suddenly barged into your studio a mess; puffy eyed and hair messy. Her face showed a mix of anger, uncertainty and more importantly, fear of what the future held for the both of you. In the middle of all the chaos surrounding your relationship, you opened your arms wide for her and you were met with a crying Mina falling into your chest.

"I'm so sorry, baby," her voice was barely above a whisper. "Tell your family that I'm sorry. Everyone's going to pry into your life and —"

You squeezed her body tight, making her stop as you kissed her temple lovingly. You were just as lost as her. "Have you forgotten that everyone was prepared for this? Don't worry about my family, they'll be fine, I'm more worried about your career."

She looked up at you, biting her bottom lip as hard as she could. "They want me to confirm the old dating rumours I had with Jeno."

"What?" your question held so much frustration and turmoil. Out of all the possibilities you two had considered, you didn't see a fake relationship with another idol coming. "How the fuck is that going to help you?"

"They're convinced a relationship with him will be more beneficial for me than damaging, and it'll stir away all those rumours about us if the public is convinced enough," she replied, her tone mirroring your bitterness. "They also want you to go on friendly dates with other idols and make it look like you do this with everyone else."

Your eyebrows furrowed, your grip on her arms loosening. "And you said okay to all of this?"

"I had no choice," she bellowed out, another set of tears prickling out of her eyes. "It was either I lose you forever or for a short amount of time and I picked the latter!"

You sent her an apologetic look, letting out a sigh. It was a mission to contain the surge of anger flowing through you in front of Mina, it was the last thing she needed. This storm would pass, however, it was sailing together that worried you the most.

"I love you, Y/N," Mina firmly reassured you. "Do you know that?”

"I love you too, I'm sorry."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

In the days that followed, against both of your wills, Mina temporarily moved out of your apartment and "officially" started dating Jeno. Alongside that was the release of a series of photos of you with other idols - seemingly justifying your intimate dates with her.

It felt like a blow to your place in the industry. You weren't just a mere producer to the public now, you were linked to almost every member of Twice and Blackpink, years of hard work overshadowed by dating rumours just like that.

The thing that convinced the public the most were old photos of you and Rosé's friendship resurfacing, all the way back from her debut days. A recent one caught Mina's eye out of all of them; the blonde idol was kissing your cheek at your favourite Italian restaurant out of all places - the one you took her out to for your first date.

It was the sole reason for Mina's silence tonight.

You and the members of Twice were all seated around the dorm's dinner table; candlelights flickering and casting shadows in the room as Japanese jazz played in the background.

She was sitting right across from you, absentmindedly twirling her ramen but still refusing to eat it. The soft hum of their conversations were drowned out trying to figure out how to push your girlfriend's sour mood away. And, she looked so beautiful in the light - jet black hair cascading past her shoulders and perfectly framing her divine features.

"My love, aren't you going to eat?" you whispered gently, a tinge of concern beneath your voice. "You haven't touched your food since I got here. Did you not miss me?"

You hadn't seen her in over a week due to your clashing schedules, most of her free time were spent doing publicity stunts with Jeno and most of yours consisted of missing Mina and hanging out with idols you have worked with at least once.

She sent you a tight-lipped smile, pushing a strand of her hair to the back of her ear. "I did miss you, a lot, I'm just bothered."

You gazed at her, raising an eyebrow. "What about, my darling?"

A rush of warmth made its way to her cheeks as she shook her head. "It's nothing important, I'll tell you after dinner, yeah?" she reached for your hand over the table, resting it on top of yours.

Albeit unconvinced, you nodded with her. She didn't speak to you for the rest of the night, choosing to engage in conversations with the group. It would've been reasonable if it weren't for the fact that you hadn't spoken to or seen her all week - the longest you have spent away from each other so far since you started dating.

It didn't seem to have an effect on her and it stung.

Nayeon nudged you with her elbow, noticing the shift in your behaviour. "And what's going on with you, Y/N? I miss seeing you lurk everywhere, and now all these other girls get to be in your presence."

All eyes were on you now, but yours fell on Mina whose jaw was noticeably clenched. You nervously chuckled, taking a big sip out of your chardonnay. "I know, it sucks, but also a perfect opportunity for me to play around with my tunes, you know? It's exhausting, but hopefully it'll all tone down soon...specially with Mina dating Jeno."

"So, having fun with Rosé?" Mina cleared her throat, tone coming out harsher than intended with hurt evident in her eyes. And it caught you and the rest of the girls off-guard. "I didn't know you guys were that close until those photos came out."

"Yeah," you awkwardly trailed off. "I used to work for Teddy at the Black Label. We've always been close but the years have grown us apart, can we talk about this later?"

"Why later?" her voice cracked, burning you with her stare.

Your face was flushed with embarrassment as you took notice of the girls sinking on their seats, trying to make themselves invisible and far away from her wrath because angry Mina was bad, but jealous and angry Mina was the worst version of her to exist, ever.

"Because I haven't seen you in so long and I'd like to have a good night with our friends," you said quietly. "Is that too much to ask, Mina?"

She got up, not before exchanging strained looks with you, unable to hide her emotions any longer. "She's kissing your cheek in one of the photos for god's sake," she shot back at you, footsteps bearing the heavy weight of the mess she created. "Girls, I'll be in my room if you need me, I'm really sorry for ruining the night."

The stunned silence that followed after her departure hung heavy between all of you. You were completely blindsided by her reaction because it was unusual of Mina. She trusted you and your judgement regarding everyone in the industry, and you had always been transparent about your previous relationships. Rosé wasn't even on the list of people you've dated, she was like a sister to you.

"Go after her, Y/N," Jeongyeon was the first to break the silence, a gentle contrast against the previous heated exchange. "She's under a lot of pressure from the company right now - please go easy on her."

You silently excused yourself from the table, trailing behind Mina a minute too long. You opened the door to her room and your heart instantly ached at the sight of her sitting on the edge of the bed with a defeated look on her face.

She glanced up at you, tears streaming down her face. "I don't know where that came from, that was unacceptable and -"

You took a deep breath, kneeling in front of her as you cupped her face in between your palms. "Baby, what's going on?"

"I'm scared and I'm so tired of following rules and I hate holding the hands of someone I barely know and don't love," she started, shoulders trembling with silent cries. "And I hate seeing you with girls who are so much better than me.”

"My love, there is no else better for me in this world. I will always choose you no matter what," you said, wiping streaks of tears off of her face with your thumb. "I love you more than anyone else in the world, you matter to me the most."

She searched your eyes for any ounce of lies, and all she found was sincerity. "You promise?"

"I promise," you took her hand into yours, placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. "I'm all yours."

Her head was resting against yours and you sat frozen in that position for a long time, cherishing this moment for the rough waves ahead of you two.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

After the first wave, it wasn't long before the cracks in your relationship began to show. You weren't allowed to see Mina for a certain amount of time each week and every interaction with her had to be meticulously orchestrated by her managers - date nights are now rare and she barely replied to any of your texts, it felt like your place in her life was slowly being taken over by Jeno.

Arguments were more common than ever, most of it coming from Mina's side with all the built up frustration at the lack of control in her own life getting lashed in your direction.

In one of the rare nights management had allowed you to see her in the space of your own home; a month and a half after the unraveling of the biggest chaos in your lives, she had specifically told you she only had limited time for two rounds of Fortnite and and maybe an hour or two of Minecraft before she had to leave.

Nonetheless, for you, that was more than enough.

You went out of your way to set up a pillow fort in the centre of your living room, Mina's favourite snacks all on display and even putting up fairy lights all over the space. It was the only way you could try to bring back the intimacy that you both lost ever since being outed by the public.

And honestly, you wanted to remind her that you were so much better than Jeno - that you knew her more than he did.

"So, how long ago did she leave?" you were on the phone to Jihyo like normal. These days, with your movements still limited (the rumours between you and Mina have thankfully died down) you confided in her and she let you.

"She should be there any minute now," the other girl hummed, clapping her hands in excitement. "This is going to make her feel so much better, Y/N, I just know it."

"I really hope so, Ji," her old nickname rolled off your tongue like clockwork. "I miss her so much, I wish things could go back to normal."

"Just hold on a little longer, yeah?"

As soon as you heard the locks turn, you stumbled on your feet trying to make yourself somewhat presentable in front of your girlfriend. "I gotta go, I'll let you know how it goes."

Mina appeared behind the door, a tired smile on her face. In an instant, your arms wrapped around her, being smothered with all the kisses she missed from you.

She planted multiple kisses on your lips, equally missing you. "I missed this."

"I'm so glad you're here, Minari," you pulled her into the living room with your back turned towards her. "Just like old times, hey?"

Your eyebrows furrowed when you were met with silence, confused as to why she wasn't saying anything. So, you turned towards her and you wished you hadn't because you felt so small under her cold gaze.

"What's this?" she began, her tired giggles replaced by an angry scowl.

Your hopeful smile was gone. "What do you mean?"

"I'm so fucking tired, I told you not to do anything special, didn't I?" she rubbed her temples in irritation. "You never listen to anything I say."

Your heart sank at the entirety of her words. Tonight was supposed to be special for you both but Mina's lack of effort and gratitude were beginning to show and it hasn't even been five minutes. "I thought it would've been nice to bring a sense of normalcy back into our relationship."

"Normal?" she scoffed at you, clearly offended by the words that came out of your mouth. "There's nothing normal about our whole situation. It's hard for me to keep up with you when you're always at my back for the smallest things. There is only one of me, Y/N, can't I catch a break from you?"

"Mina...what are you saying? What am I doing wrong?" you stood there, dumbfounded at the lack of context in her words. She was simply rejecting you and it felt like a punch to the stomach.

"You're obviously rubbing it in my face that I'm not putting in enough time into our relationship," her voice was laced with nothing but anger. These days, it was a common tone from her. "Do you know how exhausting it is to act like everything is fine when it's not? To act like I'm in love with someone I'm not? I didn't ask for any of this, I just wanted a night of peace - not a fucking extravagant date."

Your expression softened, heart aching at the sight of her scrambling to let all of her bottled emotions out. She was struggling to balance everything and you hoped that she would let you carry some of the weight on her shoulders. "Okay, we'll get all of this silliness out the way," you were trying so hard not to cry in front of her - you hated making things worse but feeling a sense of rejection from your own girlfriend wasn't exactly the best one.

"Forget about it, don't follow me, please," she added, walking out of the living room and into your shared bedroom.

Your heart broke as she stirred away from you with every step, all you could do was sink on the couch - the fort you built crashing after you. Burying your face into your hands, you let the tears fall: you were losing her, and that realisation had cut way too deep.

Minutes later, deep within your thoughts, you failed to notice the presence in front of you until she wrapped her arms around you, muttering gentle apologies and reassurances.

"I'm here, baby," Mina's tone was laced with a heavy sense of regret, drawing circles on your back just like how she used to. "I'm sorry I took it out on you, again."

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," you turned to face her with bloodshot eyes. "I'm trying my best for you and none of it seems good enough."

"None of this is on you," she reassured, placing a kiss on your neck - lips lingering longer than usual. "I love you so much, I don't want to lose you."

"It feels like I'm losing you, Mina."

"I'm here until forever, remember?" she promised, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"I hope so."

"I do know so," she smiled at you with sincerity, that was all it took for you to forgive her. "Let's smash a few rounds in, shall we?"

Mina somewhat kept her promise of putting more effort in, she fought with her managers more, never failing to defend you from their wrath. With the rumours toning down, you were allowed to be out in public with her and Twice again. Of course she was still dating Jeno in their eyes, but with their schedules constantly not aligning due to his group's upcoming album, the rift that was building between you and her grew smaller because it meant she could see you more.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Things were nearly back to normal again, until you had to meet him.

"Remind me why I have to meet this guy again?" you raised an eyebrow as Momo and Sana both circled around you.

"Because the public is starting to notice that despite being Mina's best friend, you have never been seen around Jeno," Momo described the situation perfectly.

"Um, what?" you chuckled. "I could literally say the same thing about you and him!”

"Okay, but we're idols, and our worlds are bound to crash with each other," Sana defended their situation.

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever you two say."

That same night, you were seated around the candlelit dinner table once again. Arriving a little later than usual, you had exchanged formalities with Jeno against your will, and as much as you wanted to hate him, he genuinely seemed like a nice guy and if the circumstances were any different, you would've liked him.

Cutlery clinging and small conversations that were filled with laughter took up the sound of the room. Instead of taking the seat across from Mina like you always did, you chose the one next to Tzuyu. She didn't even notice.

With him around, she barely acknowledged your presence. If anything, she seemed to enjoy being wrapped under his arms as they all laughed to a stupid joke he made.

"Are you alright?" Tzuyu whispered into your ear when she noticed your white knuckles on the wine glass, carefully treading around your anger.

"Me?" you forced a smile.

"I'm asking you, lovely."

"Why would I not be?" you swallowed the bitterness along with your drink. Her eyes held a bunch of questions, frowning when her bandmate who moved a little too close to you for liking. "I'm feeling great, Tzuyu."

Tzuyu didn't press you any further for the rest of the night and as the evening drew to an end, you had nursed at least a bottle of wine to distract yourself. It only heightened the growing knot of jealousy and despair in your chest as Mina laughed to another joke Jeno had said; leaning in closer to him.

"Please enlighten me on what the fuck the show they're putting on is all about," you asked Chaeyoung with a low voice, and heard by Tzuyu and Jihyo as they turned to you. "Are there cameras around?"

"No," Jihyo shook her head, confusion plastered on her face. "You're going to have to ask Mina that."

Chaeyoung sent Jihyo a warning glare, not wanting her to add any more fuel to the fire. "Y/N, are you sure you're meant to be pouring another glass?"

"We've already taken photos, why the fuck is she acting like this in front of me?" your voice feigned with hurt, ignoring the concerned looks from your friends.

The sight in front of you frayed with your emotions and clawed at your insecurities. They looked so perfect together and she seemed happy. At your expense, you watched as he leaned in closer and captured her lips unexpectedly.

You were met with nothing but only horrified looks from everyone in the room, including Mina. The pain in your heart grew, and the temporary bandaid placed on it ripped apart - the wound you thought was healing was gaping open once again. Without thinking, you slid off your seat; chair scraping harshly against the wooden floors.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go attend more important matters," you held your composure firmly, looking Jeno right in the eye before bowing your head down. "It was nice meeting you, you're perfect for Mina. I hope the rest of you have a good night."

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as they finally pieced what the breaking point in your relationship would be. You turned on your heel, not bothering to look behind you. And with one certainty, you held your head up and slammed the door shut.

Outside, you stumbled down the pavement; the cool winter breeze hitting sharply against your flushed skin. You clenched your fists as you tried to steady yourself through the alcohol and the free-falling of your tears - the picture of Mina and Jeno kissing replaying in your head, sealing it into place.

Behind you were audibly hurried footsteps, and Mina's voice echoed throughout the street as she called for you to halt. You quickened your pace but anyone sober was guaranteed to be faster than you. "Please let me explain, Y/N," she pled desperately, grabbing your arm.

"Explain what?" your voice was cold, another set of tears making its way down your face. "How do you explain kissing someone else in front of me? You barely spared me a glance tonight and now you want me to listen to your bullshit?"

Her grip tightened, fearing that you would slip through the cracks and leave her completely. "He doesn't know about us. It's all my fault, I'm sorry, I know I should've told him beforehand but I assumed he would've gotten the hint after meeting you —"

It felt like another punch to the gut. "He doesn't know we're dating?"

The fake relationship with Jeno was supposed to make things better for you and Mina, but it felt like he was slowly seeping into your lives, casting you to the sidelines. You failed to notice all the Jeno this and Jeno that, but it all came to you at once now.

What you had witnessed tonight; the way she slipped into that fake relationship felt too real - it looked like what you two once had.

Mina's features were etched with fear, eyes glistening with tears, and despite all this mess, she looked gorgeous under the streetlights and your hazy vision. "I love you, please stay over tonight."

Your breath shuddered in disbelief. "You want me to go back and watch you play housewife with this guy? Don't you think your actions have embarrassed me in front of our friends enough, Mina?"

"Okay," she heaved out a sigh, pausing to consider her other options. "Then please let me come home with you tonight."

One thing about her was that she was stubborn - always almost determined to win you back immediately after arguments. You've never felt to defeated in your life; in the back of your mind, you knew you were never good enough for Mina.

In your eyes, she was a bright star with so much ahead of her future and the shadow you casted over only dimmed her; she deserved someone who would let her shine. And tonight, you saw that in him.

You shook your head, turning away from her. "Forget about this, okay? Go home, Mina.”

"Y/N, you're not listening to me," her voice trembled. "I wanna come home to you."

Ignoring her desperate pleas, you continued to walk ahead of Mina - widening the gap between the two of you. In one last final act, her body collided with yours from behind, arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

"Mina," you tried to wriggle your way out, but you undermined the extent of her strength. "Let go, people are going to fucking see!"

"Then let them," she cried out. "I'll end this stupid contract and tell him about you and how I have loved you for the past four years. No more drifting apart, my love, it all ends tonight."

You finally gave in to her touch, allowing yourself to lean against her. You began to think about all the things she gave up for you; ones that would've been beneficial for her career but in the end, Mina always chose you. And tonight was no different from that.

She was willing to defy everyone else, with her career on the front lines, just to keep you in her life - but why?

"I love you," she whispered, breaking the silence. "Please don't give up on me now."

You took a deep breath, turning around to face her. "Okay," a flash of hurt appeared in her eyes as she took a good look at your tear-streaked face - regret filling her body knowing that she caused it.

"Okay what, baby?"

"Okay, you can come home to me tonight...after you do all of that."

Her eyes lit up, pulling your face in for a kiss but you immediately stopped her. She looked at you, a mix of hurt and confusion plastered on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want his germs on me, please brush your teeth first," you put your hand up in disgust. "I'll see you at home, okay?"

She chuckled, nodding her head in understanding. "I love you baby, text me when you get dropped home."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

For the next three months, things settled down for a while. In the eyes of the public, Mina was still dating Jeno - you two figured out that it would be too soon to end it and would only make things worst for the both of you. Their dates were less frequent due to her insistence; she fought for your relationship like she would. And he was extremely apologetic about his actions that night.

The two of you were rediscovering your love for each other, coming out stronger than before. Days were filled with laughter and heartfelt conversation - you were rebuilding your safe space together once more.

Things were good, until they weren't.

You were more careful than before, even after JYP offered an extension of your contract that came with a new apartment in the same building as Twice.

This allowed you to spend more time with the girls whenever you had the chance, hence why you were currently sitting on their couch with a bowl of bulgogi in your hand whilst Mina was away...which seemed more frequent nowadays.

After some blissful weeks together, the shadows of the past were creeping up behind Mina, and the person the came with it was Jeno.

They had frequent shoots for international brands together and were practically the face of the industry after one of their Prada campaigns went viral. The thought that often lingered in the back of your mind, the one that told you that you weren't good enough for Mina, was beginning to resurface in her absence.

"Can you cut more trees for us, Somi?" Chaeyoung rasped out. "Stop swooning that useless and ugly man over, the village doesn't need more mouths to feed right now!"

You chuckled at her frustration, eyes glued to the screen. Tonight's game was Medieval Dynasty, and both Chaeyoung and Somi were new to it. Usually, it was Mina playing it with you but with her often gone, you managed to convince one of her members to play with it - who also swayed her friends, Somi, into it.”

"I don't care, I wanna see useless and ugly babies," she snickered, eyes quickly falling on you. "Can you throw a mouthful of that into my mouth, please? It smells really good.”

"Have some damn shame, Somi," Chaeyoung said, fake annoyance laced in her tone. "Put some in my mouth first.”

"And what makes you two think I'll give you some?" you quirked up an eyebrow. "I asked if you wanted any but you chose to order sushi instead, so live with that decision."

"I just cut you thirty-four trees you ungrateful brat!"

"And I just built you three houses and a hunting lodge, plus I gave you my copper axe."

As the night continued, the nagging doubt inside your mind gnawed stronger - constantly looming over your thoughts. It was nearly midnight and it was unusual for her to be out this late.

to: minari

hey baby, you good? when are you coming home

from: minari

Was out with jeno and some of his members tonight, on mg way home now. Sorry!!!

You frowned; she couldn't even tell you that beforehand. Jamming your phone back into your pocket, you grabbed the controller in frustration again. Jihyo woke up from her "nap" (which was six hours long, you counted) and took the empty space on the couch next to you.

"Was that Mina?" she mirrored your expression. "Why isn't she home yet?”

"Went out with Jeno and his friends," you mumbled, eyes focused on the screen and failing to notice the glances your friends exchanged with each other. "Chaeng, I think you should build a huge orchard. I have all these seeds for you."

Not too long after, the door rang open and Mina stumbled inside; hair messy and eyes red. The scent of alcohol entered the room with her and the laughter faded into concerned looks.

"Hello," she slurred, struggling to kick her heels off her feet. "Hello everyone, sorry for interrupting."

Your heart immediately sank at the state of her, walking over towards her to hold her up. "Christ Mina, how much did you drink?"

She sheepishly smiled at you. "I'd rather not count."

"Okay, let's get you to bed," you said, suppressing your anger for tomorrow's conversation.

As you laid next to Mina with a million thoughts running through your head, you took note of his scent lingering a little too long on her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next few days grew longer. Mina was out almost every night, barely making time for you. You were seated on the edge of your bed, hands buried in your face after Mina had slammed the door on you after voicing out your growing concern about her spending too much time with Jeno.

"You know this is important for my career, right?" she immediately turned defensive after hearing the familiar tone in your voice. "Y/N, the man you speak of is actually boosting Twice again. The girls are getting booked more -"

"And that's awesome," you said gently, going back into the mental box you built around yourself after stepping a foot out. "I don't have a problem with that, but Mina, it's affecting our relationship. I'm not seeing you, you're always out and when you come home, you're hammered. I'm not getting any sleep just staying up to look after you, it's unfair, I have work to do too."

That didn't help your case because she just seemed angrier than a second ago. "Why are you being so selfish? It's always about our fucking relationship and never about my career, do you even care about me?"

"Is it selfish to ask you for the bare minimum?" you bit your lip. "I want you to show our relationship a tinge of respect."

"You're so clingy all the time, I can't stand it," her frustrations were cut short with the sound of her phone ringing. "Why do you always start pointless arguments when I'm just about to leave?"

You sent her a glare. "If you leave now, you can sleep at your dorm tonight."

"Perfect," she clenched her jaw with no hesitance in her voice. "Goodbye, have a nice night!"

That night, you accidentally found out from Momo that your girlfriend didn't end up coming home. Accidentally...because she ended up asking where Mina was after she didn't show up to practice.

You knew the worst had already happened a long time, you felt it in your gut. Something shifted in Mina and its been going on for weeks now, the distant look in her eyes, their intimate photos together - she had been pulling away from you for some time now but you loved her too much to let her go.

Four years. Four years of building your life around your future and this was how it was going to end, tainted by her betrayal.

That wasn't even the turning point for you. No, it wasn't when the girls cornered you into a table in an attempt to talk you into confronting Mina about her late nights, not the photos plastered all over online - the ones with her head on his chest outside of a restaurant in Gangnam and definitely not the smell of his perfume on her clothes.

You knew it was truly over when she barged into your apartment one night with marks all over neck.

The room was illuminated by the television, a random Anerican show playing in the background. Your eyes were glued to the clock on the wall, a glass of whiskey on your hand as you waited for her to come home. She was supposed to be here four hours ago for your anniversary dinner...and she didn't turn up.

Mina was now living a fast life and you fell behind. You sprawled out on the couch, loosening the tie on your neck as you pictured a desolate life without her. It would end all the heartbreak, for sure, but could you really do it without her?

The door creaked open, revealing the disheveled woman in front of you. The knot in your chest tightened, eyes failing to ignore the dark spots on her neck.

"Y/N baby, you're still up?" your presence startled her, assuming you'd be asleep by now, she didn't even bother to hide it.

"Do you know what today is?" your grip on the glass tightened when she remained silent. "Happy fifth anniversary."

The severity of her shortcomings instantly dawned on her, rendering her frozen in her spot. It seemed like those three words pulled her out of the safe bubble she had been living in - away from all the guilt that had been eating its way into her chest. She knew that you have known for a while now, yet she was too selfish to let you go.

Deep inside, Mina needed you more than you needed her.

"It's not what you think -" she stammered, struggling to find a decent explanation.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" you asked her, voice dangerously calmer than expected. "You forget our anniversary and come home to me with hickeys on your neck? After five years together, you dwindle me down into a stupid idiot - how could you stoop so low?"

She flinched at your tone, noticing the half-empty bottle of whiskey and a gift box on the table. "I know there's nothing in this world -"

"You only get to speak when I'm fucking done talking to you, Mina," you stood up, towering over her - your anger rising. You couldn't look at her, she was a stranger to you now and the thought of it hurt. "How fucking dare you. After all these years!"

Tears welled up in her eyes, never having seen this side of you. You were always gentle, even during heated arguments where all she did was yell at you, you remained calm. "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but please, give me another chance to make it right."

She searched for love in your eyes and found nothing but indifference. You were enraged, her betrayal slashing deep cuts into the home you built for her inside your heart. Everything was crumbling apart, each fall carrying the weight of your love for her.

"Get out of house," you said through clenched teeth. "And my life."

This was the end.

Mina stepped closer, eyes filled with regret. She reached out for you, but you slapped her hand away. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything. I know I ruined it, but we can fix this, Y/N, I'll do anything just to get what we had back."

You shook your head, refusing to shed another tear for her. "Fix this? I can't even look at you without feeling disgusted. It's gone, Mina, the love that we shared is gone. You threw it out of the window."

She remained silent, the weight of her own actions bearing heavy on her shoulders. "I understand," she nodded slowly, choking a sob out. "But I'll wait for you, until you're ready to fix things with me."

You held your breath. "Don't you get it? There's nothing left to fix. Please go now before I say anything I'll regret.”

"No," she shook her head, trying to intertwine your fingers together. "You and me always forever, right? I love you, please don't leave me."

A forced smile tugged on the corners of your lips as you were starkly reminded of the happy memories you shared with her over the years. It calmed you in an instant. "And let's keep it that way by letting each other go. Don't ruin any more memories for me, Mina, I don't think we can fix this. We have to move on separately."

"Let me remember you," her fingers desperately traced your face, her eyes closed as she brushed over your features - heart shattering at the thought of not seeing them anymore. "I don't know how to let you go."

You gently placed a hand on top of hers, stopping her. "Goodbye, Mina."

Tears cascaded over her cheeks as she tried to understand why she needed to let you go. "I've hurt you enough, haven't I?"

You didn't say anything as your eyes followed her towards the door, each step she took felt like another knife to your chest. As soon as her hand reached the handle, she turned towards you with a grateful smile on her face amidst her tears.

"Thank you, for everything. For being you. And for allowing me to love you. Goodbye for now, Y/N."

The door behind her closed with a gentle thud, the harrowing silence of your loss echoing. The loneliness was beginning to settle in your heart as you threw yourself back on the couch. Memories of her felt so distant now, but the way they made you feel were real. She loved you in those moments.

You weren't certain about what the future held for you, it was going to be a rough road ahead of you but you hoped to find yourself again. And maybe, live a life where love didn't have to hurt this much.

#mina #twice x reader #mina imagines #mina x reader #kpop x reader #angst #twice imagines #myoui mina #twice

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cyberjam · 1 year ago

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ATSV HEADCANON: the spiders as yanderes . . . ☆

warnings - usual yandere themes, use of (bug) pet names like ladybug, no use of y/n or reader, stalking, manipulation, paranoia, a hint of kidnapping, a suggestion of stockholm syndrome, not proof read etc...

word count - 814

i was sleep-deprived while writing this request, so i apologize for any errors or mistakes, enjoy :)

main masterlist <33

MILES - the delusional yandere.

Miles would be so deeply in-love with you that there wasn't much you could possibly do to get him away from you. You could kick and scream at the top of your lungs and he'd just laugh to himself thinking you wanted to play fight. He would go to the ends of the earth for you and he assumes you would do the same for him as well. You could tell him how much you hated his guts and he'd simply take it as you being a bit cranky and in need of a nap. There wasn't a single thing in this world that could make him think you hated him, and once you found out he was Spider-man, that tiny bit of assurance that you were safe was completely washed away and you no-longer felt secure in the city that was supposedly protected.

"you're shaking, bug..don't worry your friendly neighborhood spider-man is here."

GWEN - the overprotective yandere.

You were just a sweet quiet kid. You sat in the back of the class, constantly in your own world. You didn't disturb anyone, always got your work done, and simply just tried to make yourself invisible to the best of your abilities. But It didn't take long for gwen to take notice of you. (you did share multiple classes together..) gwen took pity on you for some time, you were so quiet and innocent...so weak. How could someone like you survive in this world without her? It didn't take long for gwen to take on an aggressively protective role over you. She just knew deep down in her heart that people were gonna walk all over you and she had to be the one to stop them before they reached you. You don't need to be involved with the filth of the world, you need to be with her. So, once she takes you please don't be mad, she only wants what's best for you.

"i finally got you in my arms, ladybug..shh, don't worry i'm not doing this to hurt you, i just wanna protect you."

PAVITR - the clingy yandere.

Pavitr becomes so emotionally attached to you that he truly believes a second without you by his side would shatter him completely. It was rough for him in the beginning, not being able to hold you, smother you in kisses, and talk your ear off about his endless amounts of love for you. But once you two became well acquainted enough to his liking, he won't hold back at all. Pavitr will always be able to slip in his obsession with you in any conversation you two have, always going a bit overboard when he mentions how the reason he's able to live and be the best version of himself is because of your very existence. He gets overwhelmed when you're not close by, it worries him when he doesn't know what you're doing 24/7. What if you're talking to someone else? Laughing at someone else's joke? Surely whoever you're talking to isn't as amazing as Pavitr and If you can't see that he'll just have to show you.

"being away from you causes too much pain, jalebi...we were meant to be one."

HOBIE - the manipulative yandere.

Hobie will make you feel like you can't live without him. That you need him for absolutely everything, wether it be running to the store, picking out an outfit for the day, or even eating food on your own. He will break you emotionally until you're fully dependent on him and feel absolutely useless. He wants you to ask him for everything, he wants to hear the sweet sound of your voice calling his name for help, He needs to hear you say that you need him. Because you do, don't you?

" I don' know why you continue to fight my affection, darling. I'm the only one who's gonna love you the way you need to be loved. Why don't you get that? "

MIGUEL - the possessive yandere.

Miguel wants to be wanted by you. He wants you to be so dependent on him that the only words that ever slip past your lips are silent pleas for his help. He wants you to cling to him and whine at the absence of his presence. He wants you to be fully dependent on him. Any ounce of freedom you used to have before you met him is completely stripped away. Whenever he feels as if you're being independent or going about your day without acknowledging him, he gets extremely upset. You are his and his only so he will not hesitate to remove family and friends from your life if he has to, because in reality you don't really need anyone but him, right?

"tsk. this is why you should always come to me for help, it's what i'm here for, baby."

maybe i'll make a more descriptive one in the future, who knows...until then, send me some requests :)

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated <33

#across the spiderverse #atsv hobie #spiderman atsv imagines #atsv x reader #hobie brown x reader #miles morales x reader #gwen x reader #miguel o hara x reader #across the spiderverse headcanons #across the spider verse x reader #pavitr x reader

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lizzy06 · 3 months ago

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Shinsou Hitoshi x Reader Fics Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)

My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist

ab intra ✨✨💖💖by andypantsx3 (humor, eventual smut, brainwashing)when a wave of disturbing crimes sweep the city, pro hero Hitoshi Shinsou is assigned to work the case with you. What's even more frustrating than his obnoxious personality is the fact no one will tell you why he’s involved. Things only get more suspicious from there.[COMPLETED]

no grave to hold my body down✨ by Hawnks (supermintfluff) (oneshot, hurt/comfort) Kindness is its own superpower. Love is, too.[COMPLETED]

Jealousy✨ by @alienaiver (oneshot, fluffy banter)Shinsou wants your attention after coming home, but you are preoccupied.[COMPLETED]

The Sports Festival✨ by @writing-freak(oneshot, fluff) reader with a weather quirk faces off against shinsou in the sports festival[COMPLETED] pt 2: Parties for No One ✨by @writing-freak (oneshot, fluff)you consider approaching shinsou after the sports festival. an unlikely friendship commences. [COMPLETED]

Why aren't you scared of me? by @bakugohoex (oneshot, slight angst, fluff)in which shinso joins class 1a and whilst everybody seems to be scared of him out of fear he’ll use his quirk, you try to befriend the boy and he develops feelings as soon as you talk to him.[COMPLETED]

Diary by @onyxiana-is-obsessed (oneshot, fluff)Shinsou finds your diary where you’ve written way too much about him. Good thing he feels the same way.[COMPLETED]

Speechless by @alaskamonsters (oneshot, first meetings)[COMPLETED]

18 by @songbirdsingingthings (oneshot, jealousy, fluff) .[COMPLETED]

how to start an office romance✨ by animepseud (multipurposeroom) (fluff, humor, angst, slowburn)When a serial killer shows up to terrorise the neighbourhood, who do you call? According to the neighbourhood, not Shinsou.is there a better time to pursue romance than in the midst of a serial killing investigation?[COMPLETED]

Friendly Reminders & Math Equations✨ by kingyohno (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)What one person writes on their skin also appears on the skin of their soulmate. Reader is forgetful and Shinsou is bored. Awkwardness ensues.[COMPLETED]

lilac eyes | shinsou x reader✨ by personb (strangers to lovers, fluff, angst)You just wanted to live for one night at a party with Jirou, though it seemed your night was going to be far more eventful than you anticipated. And you welcomed it, well him at least, with open arms. And to be fair he was very, very hot.[COMPLETED]

Your name on my skin✨ by @dira333 / Fogfire (oneshot, soulmate au, )What your soulmate writes appears on your skin.[COMPLETED]

Two mind related quirk users walk into a train ✨ ✨ by wotefokizbrunch (oneshot, mindreader! reader, humor)When Shinso is sleep deprived his inner monologue just rambles non-stop and you, being a mindreader, find it hilarious.[COMPLETED]

Heart & Mind ✨ by orphan_account (oneshot, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort)You have trouble finding a sparring partner because of your Quirk. Few are willing to have their emotions manipulated, after all.[COMPLETED]

Love at First Sight by ScatteredScribbles (oneshot, fluff, coffee shop au, love at first sight) Even though Shinso knows better, some part of him still wants to believe it’s possible–that there’s a single person in the world made for him, and they’re lounging about in the coffee shop he works at.[COMPLETED]

Just Say It by @sunnieskies02 (oneshot, soulmate au, hanahaki disease, slight angst with happy ending) [COMPLETED]

Show Me by hunnybby(oneshot, crush, fluff, humor) Shinsou Hitoshi's classmate just won't leave him alone. If she wanted to know his quirk so bad then she should have paid attention.[COMPLETED]

We Really Need To Stop Meeting Like This by spicyNess (oneshot, tooth rooting fluff, crush)The more you bumped into him, the more you wanted to.[COMPLETED]

Late Night Visits by candlelight27 (oneshot, college au, fluff, smut, idiots in love)A not-so-innocent game of truth and dare and all your conspiring friends might give you an opportunity to sort out the feelings you have for your best friend, Hitoshi Shinsou.[COMPLETED]

Heroes Together by @writing-freak(oneshot, fluff)after growing up close friends with shinsou, you are forced to move away and leave your home behind. years later, you return, reunited with the best friend who doesn’t seem to remember you. [COMPLETED]

In All Honesty by Avistella (oneshot, fluff)People have always been wary of talking with Shinsou, but not you. When you start distancing yourself from him, Shinsou becomes worried.[COMPLETED]

Chocolate kisses and Catpuccinos by HydrangeaPartridge (coffee shop au, strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, smut)In which you are an accident prone-waitress in a cat café where Pro Hero MindJack (aka Shinso Hitoshi) likes to spend time. How will your relationship evolve through the four seasons of one year?[COMPLETED]

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lure-of-writing · 7 months ago

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His little sister: Did you plan on telling?

Summary: Azriel learns of your sparring incident with Cassian and this is his point of view of the day in question.

Word count: 2.8k

Warning: probably some misspelled words

Note: Ya'll I love this back and forth between Az's and readers pov. What do you think? But things are starting to get more intense 😬😧

Ever since the night Azriel had returned with you from the summer court he was for the lack of better wording intentionally been avoiding you. It's not like he wanted to ignore you, gods no. If anything he wanted to be near you as much as possible. Rhysand never explicitly told him to stay away from you but with the intensity level of your antics increasing and the protectiveness level of your brother also increasing Azriel decided it would be the best idea so steer clear of you for at least a little while. Even though the two of you live in the same house with Nesta and Cassian he made it a point to be out of the house before you woke up and only return once he was sure you would be fast asleep.

Avoiding you wasn’t as hard of a task as one would think it would be since you tended to just roam around the house looking for something to pique your interest until you inevitably got bored and repeated the process. Not only did your free roaming habits help Azriel avoid you but he was still the spymaster of the night court and had his own duties and responsibilities to tend to. He had been gone for a week when he returned in the hours of the early morning. The sun still hadn’t begun to peak its ways over the horizon when his feet touched down on the roof. As wired as Azriel still felt from his flight back home, his body was tired. He decided to get some rest for a few hours before flying down to the river house to relay the information he obtained to Rhysand.

When he woke, the sun had finally started to bless the city of Velaris with its light and warmth. Reluctantly he began to get ready for what he was sure to be a very long day. He knew that today Cassian and himself were supposed to demonstrate fighting techniques for Nesta and the other girls but Cassian would have to figure something else out. Never did he think Cassian's new plan of action would be leaving an imprint of his fist on your face otherwise he would have shown up.

Azriel waited for his shadows to report back to him that you had made your way up and onto the roof to begin stretching with Nesta before he also made his way up to the roof so he could fly down to meet Rhysand. The goal was just to not get caught, which shouldn’t be too hard considering that he was a shadowsinger and very good at leaving places without being noticed. Just as he arrived at the top stairs leading to the unofficial training area that was the roof of the house of wind Cassian was talking about the importance of different fighting techniques.

Azirel knew that he should leave before you caught sight of him and then marched your away over to him demanding to know why he was ignoring you, ensuring that you made a big scene before all the Valkyries in training. He was sure that wouldn’t end well for him. The only answer that he could possibly give you is “Sorry, I’ve been busy.” which if he was being completely truthful was one hundred percent bullshit considering the fact that he's never been too busy for anything involving you. There have been times where he has been sleep deprived and littered with cuts and bruises and covered and blood and gods knows what and he still made time for you. He was sure that you were his fatal flaw.

His daydream was abruptly ended at the sound of your laughter. He didn’t need his superior hearing to know that you were teasing his brother. He could tell just from your body language. The tilted head, bouncy shoulders, wide smile and loose body posture that told him that you were poking fun at the general. Azriel swore he could read you better then he could read any book. He watched for just a moment longer as the two of you got into the fighting stance and began to circle each other while throwing out a few fake jabs to get ready for the real deal. As much as he wanted to stay and see you kick Cassian's ass and put him into place he also really needed to speak with Rhys so with one last look he shot off into the sky and towards his high lord and lady.

Azriel had just sat down in one of the overly large and plush chairs that decorated Rhysands office while beginning to retell the events of his latest quote unquote “adventure” as you would call it when Rhysands eyes clouded over. Someone was speaking to him mind to mind. If he had to guess, it would probably be his wife. Gods knows he did not want to know what they were talking about. A beat of silence filled the room before Rhys spoke. “It’s Cass. He wants me to go to the house.” The high lord rolls his eyes before going completely still. “What is it?” There hasn’t been many times in Azriels long history of knowing Rhysand where he got that look of dread on his face to say it was concerning was an understatement.

“It y/n” Those were all he needed to hear before both males were up on their feet in a split second and racing to the front door to launch themselves in the sky. If rhysand ever asked why he was so quick to react he would say it was because you were his friend and rhys little sister and most importantly family. And family shows up for family. Luckily Rhysand was too preoccupied with getting out of the house to notice the sheer look of concern mixed with panic on his friend's face.

There has been many times when Azriel had been faced with things that should have made his heart race and it didn’t. There were also times when he had faced things and it did make his heart race, but nothing could make his heart racing like knowing something had happened to you but not knowing what. It truly made his stomach churn and he felt like he just might throw up. And as the spymaster he has seen and done things that would make any normal fae sick to their stomach, but not once did he ever feel that way. His love for you was so overwhelming that even not knowing if you were ok could almost bring him to his knees.

The less than five minute flight to the house of wind had never felt as long as it did in that moment. He could hear the beating of both rhysand and his wings and they propelled them to Cassian's waiting figure. As soon as both males were close enough they could see Cassian pacing back and forth and Nesta cradling your head while you laid on the ground. If Azriels heart wasn’t racing before then it sure was now. Once both him and Rhys had landed it knew Rhysand was questioning Cassian as to why his baby sister was laying on the ground looking as dazed as ever. But he couldn’t find it in himself to tear his eyes away from your body. A few moments passed before Rhysand was moving towards you and both he and Cassian followed. Finally he was able to pull his eyes away from where you laid to look at his other brother with an eyebrow raised in a silent way of asking what happened. Cassian's pained shake of his head and lack of verbal or physical response was definitely starting to concern him.

As soon as Nesta removed her hand Azriel knew why Cassian didn’t answer him. The reason you were laid out flat on the ground not responding was because of Cassian. The rational part of Azriel knew his brother never meant to do his to you. He would never hurt any female let alone the one he considered a little sister who he helped raise. But the irrational part of him, the part of him that was your mate, wanted to beat Cassian to a pulp for ever thinking it was a good idea to use you for his demonstration. His eyes never left your quickly darkening bruise that was starting to blossom across your face while his mind ran through all the ways he would like to repay the favor to his brother. It took a few deep breaths for him to decide that duking it out with Cassian would look suspicious to not only Rhys but to literally everyone there so instead he focused on controlling his mind numbing anger he felt not only towards his brother but the situation he put you in. Plus somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that Cassian would have to deal with Rhysand and that wouldn't be pretty either.

After pushing his very primal anger to the side he began to as gently as he possibly could, pull you into his arm. Azriel, just like Rhysand, has been on the other side of a punch Cassian can throw and just how much damage it can inflict. Whether or not he was trying to. Azriel could see the start of just how much damage you had been dealt with the fresh red, purple and dots of red where the force of the impact had popped the blood vessels in your face. The condition of your face was enough to warrant a visit to the inner circles healer. Hell getting punched by either one of the three males was reason enough to pay a visit to Madja. Once he had explained to Nesta just where he was taking you he was gentle when launching into the sky. Not wanting to cause you more pain then you were already experiencing.

The flight to Madja’s clinic was a short enough one but every few seconds he couldn't help but look down at your face and evaluate the mark left on your face. It made him want to cry. He would never forgive himself for not showing up to training this morning. Even though you may not know that he was your mate. He did. And the day he found out, the moment he found out that he was your mate he swore that he would never let anything bad happen to you. Even if that meant sacrificing his life for yours. For you he would do anything without question. If you asked him to burn down the world he would and at the end he would deliver you the ashes pressed into a diamond just to make you happy. So knowing that his choice to skip training his morning was the direct result of the concussion rattling around your head and the very badly picked colors of the autumn court decorating your cheek made him disgusted with himself.

The bell above the door of the healers clinic jingled as the Illyrian made his way inside. Usually the old fae was tucked away in some room helping with another patient but this time she was sat at the counter working with an apprentice when he entered. “Y/n?” The calm voice was coated in concern. She made her way over to where he stood in the middle of the room giving you a quick once over before beckoning for him to follow her into a room. As soon as he set you on the bed Madja was looking you over for any other injuries. “What happened to her?” As the inner circles healer Madja was used to fixing up the three males even sometimes Morrigan and occasionally Feyre but never had you become a patient of hers. “She was sparring with Cassian.” The shadowsinger didn’t need to say anything else for the fae understood exactly what that meant.

Madja was in the middle of giving Azriel different tonics and potions that would help with the injury you had sustained when Rhysand walked through the doors. “Where is she?” the high lord cut a sharp look to his brother. “She's in the room resting. The apprentice is watching over her.” Azriel watched as Rhysands eyes moved from him to the healer. “And is she ok?” Madja gave a slight nod “She will definitely have a gnarly bruise for some time and a concussion but she will live. You should be thankful that Cassian didn’t put more power behind that hit otherwise we might not be having this conversation.” Madja picked up one of the tonic bottles and gave it a little shake. “But as I was saying before you came storming in here.” After all these years Azriel knew Madja was used to the theatrics of the inner circle and that's why she paid the high lord no mind when he barged in. For her it was just another normal day.

Azriel stayed while Madja explained what each medicine did, how much to give and how often to give it. Just in case Rhys wasn’t able to do it. Not like that would happen but just in case. He stayed in the front of the clinic while Rhysand went to collect his sister. Eventually the three of you emerged into the streets of Velaris. One was holding your body and one was holding a bag of vials. He was the latter. Azriel hated the thought of Rhysand walking through the streets of Velaris with you in your current state but he also knew that winnowing would not be a good idea. So both males began the walk to Feyre and Rhysand’s house. Not a single word was said the whole walk home. Azriel pushed open the wide doors for Rhysand to fix through when Feyre appeared before him “How is she?” for a minute he didn’t respond instead he watched as Rhys walked up the stairs and turned down the hallway leading to his personal room. After Rhysand was out of his sight did he hold up the bag he was holding. “Madja said she will be fine, just in a lot of pain.” His lady let out a big breath of relief.

Rhysand still wasn’t down from his room when he was finished explaining each tonic to Feyre along with how and when to give them so reluctantly he made his exit. That was not before sending his shadows to check on you. “She's still asleep. Comfort in bed. Resting. Rhys is looking over her.” Madja had given you something for the pain and in turn it put you to sleep. There wasn’t anything he could do. Rhysand would never let him close enough to care for you. Once when you were still a child you had accident cut yourself playing with a dagger Rhysand had specifically told you not to touch and when you eventually did get hurt Rhys was the one to tend to you, not allowing either him nor Cassian to care for you. Even when he was supposed to be training. You could have a paper cut and Rhysand would not let anyone other than himself look over you. You are his baby sister after all. That job belongs to him.

Azriel knew that Rhys would keep you at the river house until you were ok enough to be flown back to the house of wind. In those few days Azriel fought of the temptation to fight Cassian every time the two males made eye contact and spent the other time looking for a mission to get away from his brother. Azriel had a feeling the murderous feelings wouldn’t subside until he knew you were one hundred percent better. So being sent out on a mission with Cassian was the last thing he wanted.

They were currently sitting by a fire when Cassian broke the silence “So when did you plan on telling us that you were y/n’s mate?” Azriel felt himself choking on the water he had been attempting to drink mere seconds ago. “What?” his coughing fit was still ongoing when he managed to squeak out the one word. “I may not be the smartest one in the group but it doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.” Azriel swore he knew gave any indication that he was your mate to anyone. Hell he barely acknowledged it himself. “I am not y/n’s mate.” Cassian's laugh rang out into the open woods before echoing into the distance. “Sure you're not that why every time you looked at me for the past week almost, you looked like you wanted to kill me. I could tell you were avoiding me. I mean you're less than happy to be here with me.” the general took a big bite of his badly cooked dinner, not even bothering to eat it before speaking again. “You can deny it all you want but I would know because that’s the same way I was with Rhys when I had just an inkling Nes was my mate.”

Taglist:

@kemillyfreitas @lana08 @willowpains @username199945 @tothestarsandwhateverend

@kylaisra @lilah-asteria @nickishadow139 @br0klynbby @blacktreacle22

@amysangel

#acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel acotar #azriel x reader #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #azriel shadowsinger #azriel angst #rhysand x sister!reader

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bixbythemartian · 9 months ago

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walrus vs. fairy

the funny part is that people who answer walrus are mostly like 'I disagree, but I understand why you would answer fairy' and the people who answered fairy are tearing their hair out. some of them are getting mad and/or mean about it, which is kind of upsetting.

so, I will try to help explain.

this will not be about walrus logistics, I promise.

some people believe in fairies. full stop.

fully believe they are real. probably a lot more people than you would be happy about, but you have to allow for this to be true.

even among those who don't wholeheartedly believe in fairies, there's a lot more people who are agnostic about fairies.

people willing to admit that they're not sure if fairies are real, but willing to hedge on the side of maybe the fairies are real.

like, if you rephrased the question 'would you be more surprised to see an angel or a walrus at your door' you would probably be less surprised to see that people would be more shocked at the walrus, because you probably already understand that a lot of people believe in angels and consider them real, whether or not you believe in angels personally

also the SPN fandom would go ham on that, probably. (this is said with deep affection)

there was a fairly famous road built in Ireland that got rerouted because there was a bush that was important to fairies. (source) the fairy tree stalled the plans for the road for a fucking decade. this happened in my lifetime. people talked about it happening on the internet as it was happening, it's not some weird thing that happened in the middle of nowhere in the 1950s or something. they agreed to go around the damned bush in 1999. I know that seems a long time ago to some of y'all, but it really, really isn't.

there are still people who think the cottingley fairies were real. not a huge amount, but I hope enough to make my point- there's some people who believe in fairies so much and want them to be real so much that they think a famous prank (hoax is stretching it, imo, these girls were pranking their families and the press kind of coincidentally got involved) proves the existence of fairies.

there's a lot, lot, lot more people who believe in fairies and also will admit the cottingley fairies weren't real. the cottingley fairy truthers are a small a percentage of the people who believe in fairies.

I cannot emphasize enough that there are plenty of people who believe fairies are real and even more that could be very easily convinced that fairies are real

people have believed in fairies and been superstitious about fairies for a long, long fucking time

setting aside all of that

some people are more likely to see a thing that isn't real at their door than they are to see a living fucking walrus at their door.

fevers, migraines, mental stress, sleep deprivation (especially if you have sleep disorders, like insomnia or narcolepsy), and infection (among a very long list of other things), and prescription medication side effects can all cause visual hallucinations, and they're all states that you might not be aware that you're in when you start to see weird shit.

these are just the really mundane ones I plucked up off the list.

I have experienced hallucinations due to sleep dep and insomnia. unfortunately, for me, this manifested as a spider the size of a border collie (I wish I were joking) and not fairies, but fairies is a possibility that cannot be counted out.

I'm way more likely to have sleep deprivation and a migraine and a fever all at once than I am to see a walrus in person at a zoo, much less at my door.

it has happened before. it will happen again. it's happening right fucking now.

the fairies can have my birth name if they will take away my migraine.

just putting that out there.

I've never seen a walrus in person at all. I would like to, but it's not likely. there's not any in any of the zoos nearby that I could find.

current likelihood of me seeing a fairy on my doorstep is significantly higher than me seeing a fucking walrus. I am in a physical state where I have had visual hallucinations before, and it's not impossible I will have them again. I would not be particularly surprised, even.

as long as it's not the goddamn massive spider. I even like most spiders, but that is too much spider.

#walrus vs fairy

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evienicks · 1 month ago

Text

In Dreams

Summary: The reader is a therapist for the academy; aiding any student or faculty member within it, she’s also Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr’s adopted daughter. One of her favorite patients is a newcomer to the school — Logan Howlett. He’s been having nightmares and asks her for help.

A/n: this is a little drabble from a series in the works for Logan x Fem!Original Character, however, this is a good Y/N insert for anyone to enjoy! Please be kind ✌🏼🤍 Also, Vatti is Dad in German(sorry if you don’t ship CharlesxErik but I do)

Warnings: Mostly fluff, some angst involving Logan’s past and guilt of being vulnerable around Y/N.

—

Click!

“So, Logan, how can I help you today?” He slightly bites his bottom lip and grunts; the one thing, the only thing, that feels like could possibly help Logan is sitting across from him, scribbling in her teal notebook. It was you. From the moment he saw you, Logan knew he would move heaven and earth for you.

But you’re his doctor. Worse, you’re also the only daughter of the men who graciously invited him to stay and offered him a steady job, food, and a place to sleep.

Sleep — the other thing that could help him. Since moving in, Logan has been having nightmares of a time he can’t recall, in a place he can’t describe; but he was there, covered in wires and tubes, in a glass tank encased in water…

His eyebrow twitches and he sighs, rubbing his face slowly with his left hand, “I can’t sleep, Doc.”

Click! He flinches, you gently place your notebook aside and give him a concerned look. “Is it the nightmares again?” He nods and you scooch your chair closer, giving him a gentle pat on his shoulder with a smile, “Well, if you’re up to it, I think I know something that can help. Or at least, give you some time to relax.”

His eyes widen a bit and his cheeks get flushed — if he wasn’t so sleep-deprived, he would reply with a cheeky innuendo, but his brain is currently frazzled by the stunning woman empathizing with his pain.

You respond with the same expression, your cheeks and ears developing a light pink glow, and laugh nervously. “N-n-no, no! Logan, no!” I would if I could. You sheepishly admit to yourself, thank goodness Logan can’t read your mind. You can, as well as lift him up with a thought, quite literally. “I mean, I can help you sleep.” You let out another chuckle, “Have you ever heard of hypno-therapy?”

“Is that a band?” Poor Logan can’t keep up with all of these musicians anymore, “Because, Y/N, I don’t think I’m in the mood for any of that techo-wacky-nonsense.”

You bite your bottom lip to try and hold back a cackle, “Oh Logan…”

He tilts his head back in confusion, “Wha—oh!” You lower his seat back with a snap, then dim the lights with a wave of your hand, and scoot back in your seat. “What in the fuck was that, bub??”

“I’m trying to create a peaceful ambiance.” You light a few scented candles then apply some eucalyptis hand cream, “I’ve had many success stories with this method; while you’re asleep, I’ll overlook what’s going on in your mind. That way, I can get a better idea of what exactly is making you feel distressed. With your permission, of course.” You scooch over to his head and place it in your lap, Logan’s breathing starts to get shaky.

“Hang on. Who exactly?” He looks up curiously, “Can you tell me?”

“It’s not Scott, Lo.” He snorts and you playfully pat his cheek, “It worked for my Vatti, Storm…and Jean…” Now he’s even more curious, “Jean?”

Ugh, of course he’s into her… “Yes Logan, even Jean.” Your smile fades and you take off your glasses, “So, you wanna try it? I promise I won’t hurt you.”

He gives you a little half-smile, trying to relax but growls a bit in exhaustion. “Go ahead Doc,” he yawns and closes his eyes, “I’m willing to try anything once.”

Who knows why, but that remark made the poor doctor turn beet red. You shake it off and gently place your hands between Logan’s head, your index fingers gently rubbing his eyebrows. He groans, “what are you doing?”

You stop, “I-it’s supposed to help relax you. My papa use to do it when I was a girl, and my clients seem to enjoy it.”

“I ain’t complainin’, doll…” he sighs in content, “just don’t stop…”

You are at work, you are at work. Don’t think dirty, you are at work. You continue and Logan lowers his hands to his chest. “Now Lo, you’re going to start feeling warm, like you had a nice cup of coffee.”

“Mhm…”

“Whatever comes in your mind, just know I am right here.”

“Mmm…”

As you gently rub his eyebrows, you can’t help but admire his features; his brown hair freckled with gray, the lines on his forehead, his well-kempt sideburns, those pale-pink lips…

A low noise snaps you back to reality and you couldn’t help but giggle; Logan was out like a light, and his snores slowly start to grow louder in your lap. You can’t help but run your fingers through his hair and smile, how lucky you are that he feels comfortable enough to let his guard down for a second in your care.

You place your right hand gently on his forehead and close your eyes.

Click!

You are now within his dream; you walk along the lab hallways until you find two metal doors. Walking through them like a ghost, you encounter a giant room filled with different machines and tubes; one of the machines encased a silver liquid which had two big tubes attached along to the subject in the tank besides it. You look over into the tank and immediately are taken aback at what you find; it was Logan, the tubes were injected into him, and he was briefly lifeless in the tank, his heart monitor revealing a faint flatline.

No… You could feel tears starting to form when suddenly, the line starts to move. Slowly, then quite rapidly. The tank starts to bubble from the thrashing within, he jolts upright with a warrior-like scream, his claws unsheathed. He rips the tubes out of him and jumps out of the tank, toppling a few lab techs and slashing them to pieces.

You follow him with every move he makes, every life he takes, every cry of agony he exclaimed. His hands were bleeding from the claws, throbbing and shaking. He lets out one more howl then runs for an exit.

Okay, I think it’s time.

You snap back to your office, with Logan still in your lap but now panting and tossing as much as he could. You gently shake him, “Logan, you need to wake up.” He keeps tossing in your lap, his claws slowly poking out. You get up and levitate Logan to the couch, keeping a distance in case he strikes, “Logan!!”

He jumps up in a shriek, claws unsheathed, and looking around the room in distress. You get a bit closer, “Logan, you’re okay. Take a deep breath.” He shakily looks over towards you, claws slowly going back into his knuckles, trying to catch his breath.

You sit besides him and grab his shoulders, “Breathe.” He obeys, shakily through his nose and slowly out his mouth. After a minute or two, he sighs and lays back on the couch, “d-did I…” he gulps, “did I hurt you…?”

Your heart breaks. “No Logan, you didn’t do anything wrong.” With that remark, he holds back what sounds like a sob. He quickly stand up and heads for the door, “I-I gotta go.” He quickly closes the door and heads to his room, needing to kick the shit out of something for almost crying in front of the woman he admires. More so because he ran out of there without even thanking her, You blew it now, you idiot. He groans and kicks his wastebin.

Meanwhile, you were still in your office, going over the notes you’ve obtained during the session. You’re tempted to go over and talk to him, but he needs his space, especially after that jarring session.

You sigh, lean back in your chair, and open your teal notebook. There’s a knock at the door and a new mutant walks in, sheepishly taking a seat across from you, in the chair that once had Logan there.

“So, how can I help you today?”

Click!

#Logan my beloved #logan howlett #wolverine #hugh jackman #xmen #logan howlet x reader #logan wolverine #logan howlett x you #logan howlett imagine #wolverine x reader #Wolverine x you #Logan fluff #my fic #xmen fic #Logan fic #Wolverine fic

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senualothbrok · 2 months ago

Note

So there’s that interaction with the Drow Twins where, if you are romancing Gale and you choose the male Drow to have ‘boring sex’ with, one of the dialogue options is: ‘If I want to have sex like that I can just ask Gale.” (as mentioned in this post)

Putting aside how most Galemancers find that whole interaction distasteful (myself included) it got me thinking about how the game insults Gale by implying that he would ever give you ‘boring sex’. Gale. The guy who fucks you like a God in 8 dimensions in the sky if you let him. That guy. Boring sex? Well. I don’t see it, but if that’d what the game says, it must be true!

So since you are an excellent writer of Gale smut, I thought maybe you could help us envision this a bit better? Maybe give us a fic about how ‘boring’ sex with Gale can be. And if we have to accept it, we have to accept it.

So I’m thinking that for this boring scenario, it won’t involve the Astral sky, or magic, or even his practiced tongue. It’s just regular ol’ bed sex with regular ol’ Gale Dekarios. But maybe something really boring happens like Gale has a vivid nightmare that Tav dies, and he wakes up in a cold sweat and his adrenaline at maximum only to find his beloved alive and well, sleeping peacefully next to him. Then maybe it gets even more boring because Tav wakes up, sees his distress and puts their hands on his face, and at their touch Gale just snaps.

I’m thinking about how snore-inducing it is when he rolls his whole body onto Tav’s, reveling in the fact that they are HERE, they are ALIVE, they are WHOLE, and Tav can feel how rock hard he is as he grinds desperately into their leg. How boring it is as Gale’s hot breath mingles with theirs, as he devours their mouth over and over, as the only word his practiced tongue can form is a breathless ‘please’ as his grinding grows more desperate.

Then I can only imagine how Tav must be bored to tears as they eagerly consent, and Gale doesn’t just slide into them but pounds into them, as if the only thing keeping his orb from exploding is him sheathing himself as deeply as possible in Tav over and over and over. And how Tav must be practically out of their mind with boredom as they run their nails down Gale’s back, biting back a scream of pure disinterest. Gods! Can you imagine how dull this would be??

So, if you please—if you could use your incredible talents to craft a boring scenario and go into every excruciatingly boring detail of Gale sex, we would be most appreciative! Even if we do just have to accept it!!

Please, my friend—BORE US TO DEATH 🫠🫠🫠

My friend, you are trying to kill me 🫠

I do not want to deprive the world of this masterpiece of smut that you have already written 🫠 And I'm not sure how long it will take me to write this piece so I couldn't hold onto this ask selfishly for a moment longer 🫠

I would absolutely LOVE to write some good old fashioned bed sex with Gale. Right now I'm thinking exhausted horny or sleepy horny 🫡

I apologise in advance if this takes me absolutely ages 🤦🏻‍♀️🙏🏻 thank you for your patience and this amazing brainworm and for the treat that your actual ask was 💜🫂

#ask #writing prompt #gale Dekarios #gale of waterdeep

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absolutehomosexuals · 6 months ago

Text

Baldur's Gate 3 is known for its variety in romance options, allowing you to romance all six of your companions regardless of the player's sex/gender and including the possibility of a non-monogamous relationship with some of them.

While we do think it's an interesting idea in theory, the way bg3 implemented this feature could use some work, especially character-wise.

Something that could've been fun and unique turns, sadly, into a mildly uncomfortable experience if you stop to think about the implications.

While each of the relationships is consensual in theory, the developers chose the most ambiguous characters to develop these storylines with.

We've got Mr. "Oh, is it because we haven't had sex in a while?" former s*x sl*ve Astarion, who's known to drown his trauma in unhealthy coping mechanisms and probably feels guilty for "depriving" his partner of sex during act 2.

Former sharran Shadowheart, whose cult used to push young members to "experiment [with each other]" while ironically considering masturbation a sin.

Literally untouchable Karlach, who allows you to sleep with others for as long as her engine isn't fixed, because she "doesn't want to lose you" – which is obviously not consent and in a perfect world we wouldn't even need to explain that.

It's also worth specifying that the game never clarifies whether your arrangement is a polyamorous relationship (if you also romance Halsin) or an open relationship, but that's probably up to player discretion.

Why is it relevant, you may wonder?

We could argue the characters might be individually attracted to Halsin, which would be true in Shadowheart's case.

For an ex-sharran, an exclusive polyamorous relationship is definitely less on-the-nose than full blown relationship anarchy ; not that there's anything wrong with the latter, whether irl or in a fictional setting, but the case we're talking about is a delicate (and fictional) one.

She also doesn't bat an eye after she catches the MC with Mizora, which – regardless of whether their relationship was already open or not – is clearly disrespectful to their relationship.

Ethical non monogamy requires communication in order to be, well, ethical: sleeping with a demon (and arguably, an enemy to the party) without warning your partner would count as cheating in any universe.

She just gets mildly mad and lets it slide, which is not how you enforce boundaries in this kind of arrangement, leading us to think the cult's beliefs are unfortunately still rooted in her despite her conversion to Selûne.

And of course they would: undoing religious trauma is hard work, and bleaching your hair won't heal it overnight, regardless of what our dear Shadowheart might think.

^ Astarion has an identical reaction, if you wondering.

Many people take issue with this type of take, claming it paints Halsin as disrespectful of other people's relationships and consent.

We are absolutely not saying that: Halsin asks for explicit consent from both the MC and their partner, in order to honour their pre-existing relationship despite his own feelings, which is exactly how it should be.

People can consent to situations they're not emotionally ready to take on, whether they're not right for them in that specific moment of their life or at all.

Furthermore, we're not even necessarily talking about Halsin: the MC has other occasions to live out a non-monogamous arrangement with their partner, such as with the drow twins.

Oh and, speaking about the drow twins, we hope to god you don't think rolling a DC 25 persuasion check on Gale (who explicitly tells you he's monogamous if you try to involve Halsin in your relationship) to get him to sleep with prostitutes is okay.

I sincerely hope whoever romances Gale, perhaps interpreting his former relationship with Mystra as groom*ng (which is a whole other can of worms we're not going to dive into in this post), understands how fucked up and disgusting it is to roll that check on him.

And, funnily enough, the game doesn't even consider it r*pe by coercion! Which it clearly is, to anyone sane and allowed within three feet of schools.

In conclusion, some of the choices Larian made on the portrayal of ethical non-monogamy are questionable, and anyone who enjoys this kind of relationship irl should probably strive for better representation.

Of course we should appreciate that they tried, but the amount of brownie points they're getting isn't nearly as deserved as you might think.

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stuckasmain · 11 months ago

Text

I’ve talked about Hal’s deactivation a while ago, giving a new perspective on the scene. It being more an ‘act of mercy’ than violence, now I want to come at it from more of a Hal perspective than Dave’s. That’s one of the great parts about it is that there is so so much to dissect and interpret.

The way Hal is described in the book is more times than not compared to that of a human brain, while also being sure to insist he is machine. Yet, his behavior is described more as an illness than a glitch. It’s been talked about before by many, myself included, but it’s so hhhh- more specifically he’s described as Neurotic

a mental condition that is not caused by organic disease, involving symptoms of stress (depression, anxiety, obsessive behaviour, hypochondria) but not a radical loss of touch with reality.

It’s the fact Hal isn’t exactly aware he’s making these mistakes, maybe on some level he is but sticking with the illness angle, it’s hallucinatory. It’s making up these problems to cope with the stress of having to keep up with the lie. All is better for him if contact is cut with earth, they’re the ones who made him withhold the truth and he’s programmed to carry it out regardless. He’s trying to cut out the infection while simultaneously being unable too— in good “conscious”.

Additionally there’s his abject refusal to admit fault or wrongdoing. He is incapable of error- it’s not his fault! It’s not! It’s not! The mere idea of him even being capable of a mistake blows his entire world apart, widening his mental break. The 9000 unit reproduces most functions of the human brain, unfortunately for a computer that also means the ability for mistakes as much as it hurts him. I think it’s a mix of not wanting to admit it and being unable to recognize it because all of his life he has been told it just isn’t possible.

Then it turns to full blown paranoia. Kill before you’re killed. He catches them talking about potentially shutting him down if things go south and strikes prematurely. There’s been great talks about cycles of violence, survival and comparisons to the man apes but what I want to point out was how unnecessary it was. For one- if it had failed, they’d not ‘harm’ him as he’d be right and two

“… he would be deprived of all his inputs, and thrown into an unimaginable state of unconsciousness. To Hal, this was the equivalent of death. For he had never slept, and therefore he did not know that one could wake again…” (149)

Hal has never known sleep or rest or anything but work. He does not know he can wake again and to him he reacts in a crazed self defense. He was never going to be killed and that’s the kicker. He doesn’t notice the tone Bowman and Poole talk with either, how it’s a last resort and neither are particularly happy about the idea… they feel it’d be rude- harming a friend who didn’t know he did anything wrong.

What also gets me is that right before everything happens he almost completely restores confidence within him. Unit fails, he can be trusted after all but then… no they’ll kill me… I’m not wrong but they plan murder … no they’ll harm the mission…to Hal, who at this stage fully believes he’s telling the truth it must seem as though they’d suddenly turned against him. His crew becomes another infection to get rid of. It is true “panic murder” if they’re gone I don’t have to grapple with this.

Back to his actual deactivation, I’ve heard the way Hal speaks here as intentionally manipulative. Appealing to Dave’s sympathies to try and save his life, and while I do like this angle it ignores how Hal is seemingly “back to normal” post murder. He’s so sick he sort of snaps out of it into this lucid state of being unaware of anything that happened - going so far as to ask if he’s figured out what happened. (However this could also just be him being a semi aware asshole.) but with how many times he absolutely insists he’s back to normal it’s clear he’s not.

While daisy is a reference and a way to show the true deterioration of Hal’s mind, I like to think of it as a final rushed confession. Those last moments of lucidity while the mind is going- quick squeaked last words — the “I love you” while on a deathbed, going back to the earlier analogies.

In the end. He confesses. Confesses, in part, his guilt and his love. At long last Hal admits some bit of fault “not been myself lately” in a rather round about way that is so fitting of him. Some part of him finally admits something isn’t right… he’s very sick and he understands this has to happen while also being sick enough where he’s frightened and confused and not wrong ever! “Why are you doing this to me? I love you,”

In the end “sick but brilliant brain” is right.

#2001 a space odyssey #2001 aso #tragic little sick gay computer #dave bowman #David bowman #hal 9000 #halman #meta #scene analysis #space odyssey #a space odyssey #character study #character analysis #2001 meta

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nunalastor · 2 months ago

Note

Buckshot Anon here! A smaller ask I got was about Alastor’s sleep, that being that he sleeps very minimally if at all, and there was an era on the blog discussing as much and the possibility of him having constant visual hallucinations. Is this possible?

That answer is a little more complicated than one would expect. From the perspective of a human, yes, humans do begin hallucinating after about 30-72 hours without sleep depending on the person. These hallucinations are most often visual and can be quite detailed, so the concept itself of hallucinations of people is real. That would not be the only thing experienced from sleep deprivation, because before that point, someone deprived of sleep would suffer anxiety, irritability, and depersonalization. If sleep deprivation continues beyond hallucinations, it could transition into acute psychosis and delusions.

However, for this to happen, someone would need to actively fight against their body’s natural sleep response, or that natural sleep response needs to be in some way impaired. This can happen to some extent from stress or during a manic episode, but even severe cases of insomnia do sleep enough to survive even if they don’t remember it. The body needs sleep to function, and will make sure it happens. Within 48 hours without sleep, someone could have episodes of microsleep, which is exactly what it sounds like: the body falls asleep for several seconds, and this is more common the more sleep deprived someone is or if they have a sleep disorder. Humans can technically bypass this, the world record for not sleeping is 264 hours, but that is highly dangerous, never try that at home.

Humans can adapt to less sleep to some extent. Anyone who has ever been in school or a job with long/unpredictable hours can attest to that. It’s a miserable experience, but your body will eventually adapt to at least act less exhausted than you are. But there are limits to that, and it will eventually come back to bite you either in the form of decreased mental health and other health problems down the line.

All of this to say from the perspective of a human, yes, Alastor would begin hallucinating without sleep, and while he could train himself to sleep minimally to some extent, there are limits and he would need to allow himself to go into deep sleep eventually. He can’t live strictly on the occasional micro-sleep.

However, none of that was taking into account Alastor's deer traits. Deer have very different sleep requirements than humans do. Where humans need usually 7-9 hours of sleep a night with 1-2 hours of that being deep sleep, deer only need 4.5 hours of sleep, and that sleep is very light (there’s actually a debate if they can deep sleep at all, and the consensus seems to be either they can’t or if they do they only need 30 minutes). From my research, their sleep pattern usually involves sleeping during daylight hours in short bursts of 5-10 minutes, being alert for a few minutes, and repeating the cycle for about 30 minutes, and they may do this a few times throughout the day and night. They can also sleep with their head up and eyes open. That’s not their default, but that is something they can do.

Taking that into account, Alastor’s brain functions combined with deer traits that may give him an advantage means he most likely has something between these two sleep patterns. He would be better off if he had a human’s amount of sleep, but he can function with much less sleep than a normal person. While he would still hallucinate from sleep deprivation, it would probably happen in about double the time.

In summary: Hallucinating from sleep deprivation does happen, and Alastor would suffer from this if he deprived himself of sleep for long enough. However, his deer traits would change his sleep patterns, so this may take longer to happen, closer to 60-144 hours instead of the normal 30-72 hours. He would also get more benefit from light sleep than a normal human would, and needs less deep sleep. He would benefit considerably from sleeping longer and allowing himself to go into deep sleep, but he doesn't need it to survive.

He probably doesn’t outright never sleep, rather he utilizes deer sleep and sleeps in short 5-10 minute bursts through the day when alone or during particularly boring hotel meetings by sleeping with his eyes open. Anyone using a human’s sleep patterns would consider this basically never sleeping, but for Alastor it’s serviceable.

Ignoring the world records and studies where the limits were pushed, if he put his mind to it he could theoretically last a week without sleep. Any longer than that and his body would be fighting against him in every way possible both mentally and physically, and he is smart enough to know any possible benefit he has from not sleeping is lost after that point. He technically might be able to push himself for 2-3 days longer, but he would be dead on his feet by then with basically no awareness of his surroundings.

If he did push himself to go days without any type of sleep, he would need to sleep for much longer afterward. Collapsing from exhaustion and staying asleep until his body has healed enough (waking only for basic needs like sustenance) would happen eventually. Once he is rested, the hallucinations would stop either immediately or within a few days depending on how severe the sleep deprivation was prior to collapse.

11 days is the record for a human, but even if Alastor has deer sleep to his advantage, that would be extremely difficult and stupid. Pushing it to any further extreme would be next to impossible.

In shorter summary: Is that possible? Well yes, but actually no.

👀👀

#hazbin hotel #nunalastor asks #alastor #buckshot anon

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stra-tek · 11 months ago

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The TV shows and movies: Everyone has seen them, they're the canon, everyone knows about it, it's all good. Even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. Even the episodes and movies everyone hates.

The novels and comics: 2% of the viewing audience have read them. They probably happened between episodes, but they're never ever referred to on TV (except that ONE time on Voyager). Vetted thoroughly (well, since Killing Time at least) and approved by people involved in the show prior to publishing.

The fanfic: These adventures are so numerous and secret, not even the people involved in the show knows about them (erm... with the exceptions of Spirk and Garashir, which have been referenced in Lower Decks and the Lower Decks mobile game. And Ni'Var being named for a poem in an ancient fanfic. And T'Khut. And possibly Una but maybe that's coincidence because after all Una = One). Literally anything can and does happen. Did they happen? Who knows? Who cares? They sometimes get to have sex. Gay sex.

The fan films: Non-canon adventures where the uniforms don't fit so well, sometimes featuring some of the actual Trek actors so not very secret at all. Probably happened in alternate universes with inferior Starfleet tailoring.

The fan manuals: Often more detailed and thoroughly researched than the official ones. Deck by deck plans of starships, instructions on what buttons do what on the bridge and extremely exhaustive backstories for starships only mentioned in passing in official technical books. The people in charge know they exist and shut loads down in the 90's for trying to make money off the Star Trek name. Did they all happen? So long as you don't try to actually compare walking routes on the shows to the floorplans of the Enterprise.

The fan art: At a con Mark Leonard (Sarek) once saw a naughty 'zine illo of naked, chained up Spock. Denise Crosby has been sent Data/Tasha naughty art. People involved in the shows sometimes see it, and are often bewildered by it. Oh, and IDW kept accidently tracing fan art of starships in their comic books because I think they just use Google image search. Did they happen? Yes. Especially the naughty ones.

The A.I. art: endless shitposts of your favourite characters doing anything your caffeine addled, sleep-deprived brain can come up with. Spock taking down the Christmas tree? Kirk cleaning the gutter? Picard having a replicator/soup catastrophe? Riker defeating John Cena at Wrestlemania? Janeway making ends meet by posing for naughty magazines in her Academy days? The people involved in the shows probably actively wish it didn't exist (at least until they find a way to monetise it). Did they happen? Well it's kinda like that time Barclay made out with a holographic copy of Troi...

#star trek #star trek books #star trek comics #star trek fan films #star trek fan art #star trek fan fiction #star trek canon

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random-and-average · 1 year ago

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Spider Hero 2099

Content Warning(s): violence, fem!reader, death threats, bad Spanish, cringe writing, possibly OOC

Word Count: 2,098 words

Summary: As the pilot for Project Silent Sparrow, a project that would involve teleportation travel, you were excited to be a part of this new scientific breakthrough, but your husband, Miguel, is less than thrilled by the prospect of you risking your life.

Author's Note: What happens when my sleep schedule is out of wack and I get the weirdest idea to make a semi-crossover between ATSV and Big Hero 6 (the movie, not the show)? I create a sleep-deprived mess of a story. Regardless, I hope you all will enjoy it. My favorite part of this short story is the "domestic" parts of Miguel and Y/N's relationship since it's kinda cute seeing Miguel be so mushy around his wife. On another note, I have another post queue'd up to post later, so there's that.

"I still don't think you embark on this trip, mi vida," Miguel stated as he placed your large breakfast on the table. Your stomach grumbled appreciatively when you realized it was all of your favorites. Although, your hunger could wait; your worrywart husband, a trait that you found both adorable and endearing, needed some reassurance.

"I'll be fine, sweetheart," you promised with a kiss to his cheek meant to reassure him of your safety, thank him for the breakfast, and simply convey your love for him all in one. "Besides, the portal should function properly according to all of the team's calculations. Those geniuses don't let anything get past them."

Despite your words, his mouth was still downturned in a frown, though he didn't let his displeasure towards the situation stop him from pulling out your chair in order for you to sit on it.

"I just don't know why you have to be the first person to test it out."

"Always the gentleman," you chuckled as you sat down. "But who else would test it if not me? I'm the only one who stepped up."

"I just worry for you. What if you get hurt?"

"What if I don't get hurt? Miguel, asking all these 'what if's will only stress you out. I can't have you dying of a heart attack. If you want, you can still come with me to the presentation so that you can see me safe and sound in person."

Your husband hummed in thought before settling on his answer.

"Then I'll take you up on your offer."

A large smile grew on your face. Suddenly, you couldn't wait to get to the island where the portal would be.

"Wonderful! I can't wait to show you everything! If you think that what I told you was cool, then prepare to be amazed by what you actually see at the presentation. There are just some things that are best experienced in person instead of through word of mouth," you continued ranting for a few minutes while a lovestruck Miguel absorbed every word you said, absolutely bewitched by your cuteness as you enthused about Silent Sparrow.

»»»-——————¯\_(ツ)_/¯——————-«««

After practically dragging your husband around, showcasing every little detail of Silent Sparrow, one of your co-workers tapped you on the shoulder with an amused expression on their face.

"Hey, don't want to interrupt you and your husband's bonding time, but we're ready to launch."

Miguel's grip on your hand tightened a bit. You knew that he was still apprehensive about the whole thing, and the last thing you wanted to see as you took off was an anxious Miguel. In response, you squeezed his hand back.

"Alright, Charlie. I'll be right there. Just give me a couple of minutes, 'kay?"

"Sure, just don't get too comfortable with the PDA," they teased as they left you two alone.

With Charlie gone, your attention was entirely dedicated to your worrying husband, whose eyes were starting to glisten in unshed tears.

"Oh, Miguel," you cooed while you wiped away the tears forming at the corners of his eyes. "Like I said earlier, I'll be fine. It'll just be a quick trip inside the portal and then I'll be out. We can even get some empanadas at your favorite place afterwards, okay?"

"But what if things go wrong, mi cielo? I don't think I can bear to be without you."

"They won't, and I will never leave you either. Remember that promise I made to you all those years ago? During the meteor shower?"

He nodded. On that fateful night, Miguel had opened up to you about some of his past, something that he was usually secretive about. With you by his side in a silent meadow, he told you how he was pressured by his biological father, who had abandoned him at a young age, into killing a man in an experiment; how Alchemax attempted to get him hooked on a highly addictive drug as a means to continue working with a company that exploited its workers and test subjects alike; how his own supervisor tried to kill him out of jealousy. He didn't tell you anymore than that, but he didn't need to. Beneath the shooting stars, you promised him that you would do anything to make him happy, to make his future filled with enough joy to outweigh the trauma and tragedy that filled his past. And even as you two got ready to return home, you quietly wished upon the stars for Miguel to experience nothing but happiness.

"It was only 4 years ago," he gently laughed. "You're being dramatic."

"Well, 4 years is a long time, and besides, dramatic or not, I still intend to make good on my promise. If my loss will sadden you, then I will do everything I can to return to you in one piece."

Miguel's hands covered yours as he sighed, "Oh mi reina, you are the best thing that ever happened to me; eres lo que más quiero en el mundo." (T/N: you are the person I love most in the world)

Despite both of your wishes to stay in this moment forever, basking in the love of one another, a final call from your co-worker snapped the two of you out of your haze.

"We don't got all day, y'know! Hurry it up!"

Your husband glared at the scientist, who shrunk under the intense hatred, only for you to use your hands to redirect his face back to yours. The effect was immediate: all of his anger melting into pure, endless love.

"Alright, Miggy, this is the moment of truth. Wish me luck, okay?"

"I always do, mi corazón."

For good measure, you chastely kissed all the man's fears away, and in return, he gave you an extremely intimate one, despite the affronted squawks of anyone who happened to stare.

»»»-——————¯\_(ツ)_/¯——————-«««

Miguel stood behind the protective barrier alongside the other scientists, investors, and government officials as he watched your pod slowly enter the portal. At first glance, everything seemed fine. There weren't any outward signs of possible danger.

However—based on the scientists he could see hurriedly talking with the owner of the business, fear barely masked, out of the corner of his eye—he could sense that something wasn't right.

It was only thanks to his superhuman hearing that he was able to decipher what they were saying.

"Mr. Krei, if we go through with this, there's no telling what will happen to the pilot! It's best that we shut this whole thing down temporarily."

"No, I will not humiliate myself in front of the military. Continue with the presentation."

"But, Mr. Krei-"

"I don't recall that being a suggestion, Dr. Emily."

The scientist nervously glanced at the portal beyond the barrier where his wife was possibly going to die. Realizing that they had no choice but to acquiesce to their boss's order, they turned to their subordinates and murmured, "Continue forward."

"This is crazy," one of them whispered back to the scientist. "We might actually get blood on our hands after this!"

"You tell that to Mr. Krei."

"Uhh guys," another added, "we have a problem."

"What?"

"That guy, the one that came with the pilot. He's staring at us. I think he heard everything."

In that moment, Miguel and the group of scientists locked eyes, and no words needed to be exchanged for them to understand how they made a colossal mistake.

"How the hell did he hear us?! Is he a mutant or something?!"

No longer needing to hide the fact that he discovered the truth, he made his way towards the scientists, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

"Mr. O'Hara," Krei spoke as he stepped between him and the scientists, "is there a problem?"

"Stop the presentation," Miguel growled back, anger bubbling over at the fact that this man dared to risk the life of his wife for the sake of his own greed.

"I'm sorry, Mr. O'Hara, but do you have any experience in portal technology? I do not know what came over you, but I assure you that everything is fine, according to my team of scientists who have dedicated their lives to this field."

The Spider-Man grabbed the businessman by the collar of his shirt. "Don't play dumb with me. I heard everything, hijo de puta. Stop. The. Presentation."

The sounds of guns being cocked echoed through the room, and suddenly everyone was at a standstill.

That was until the alarms began to blare throughout the facility.

"We've lost contact with the pod!"

Miguel turned to look at the other side of the barrier only to see his wife gone, not coming out of the exit portal beside it. If anything, the exit portal broke down while the entrance portal started to suck in everything nearby.

"What the hell is going on?!"

Then...

"Damnit, Krei! Shut it down!"

Everything stopped.

"I want this entire thing buried! Not a peep of this gets out to anyone!"

And a promise was broken.

»»»-——————¯\_(ツ)_/¯——————-«««

Never in his life had Krei ever been punched by someone until today.

It had only been a split second after everyone was safely evacuated from the scene when the husband of the pilot, Miguel O'Hara, socked him in the face.

Whereas Krei was left dumbfounded and stupefied, Miguel was screaming and yelling expletives at him in a mix of both Spanish and English, tears of pure rage running down his face. Government personnel had to hold the man back lest he actually beat the businessman to death.

"I-I didn't mean for this to happen," he said to no one in particular, and frankly, no one had the energy to listen after they had witnessed someone possibly die before their eyes.

For days to come after this event, Krei would distinctly remember the last thing Mr. O'Hara shouted at him before he was forced home by government officials.

"Mark my words, I am going to kill you!"

A year later, the CEO would realize that, when it came to the O'Hara's, they always made good on their promises until the day they died.

He realized this as he pleaded for mercy beneath a blood-covered fist.

»»»-——————¯\_(ツ)_/¯——————-«««

A disgusted Lyla stared down at another beaten and mangled body of Alistair Krei while Miguel's rage slowly dissipated following his stress relief.

"How many Krei's is this now? 100? 500? 1,000?"

"Not enough."

Before Miguel could say anything, Lyla pulled up multiple videos of you for him to watch. It had become a ritual of sorts. Whenever it got close to important dates—your anniversary, your birthday, the day of your "death"—Miguel would start hunting down Krei's to kill before taking a break just to reminisce over what was, what could've been.

You popped up in front of him. There was a pout on your face as you stared at the him of the past, the person holding the camera.

"Miguelllll," you whined as your body was draped over a large queen-sized bed.

"Yes, querida?"

"Come join me in bed already. I'm cold."

Both the him of the present and the him of the past knew that was a lie. Really, you just liked cuddling him but were too embarrassed to admit it out loud.

"Hold on. I want to film this moment."

"What are you even filming? Why are you even filming?"

"What if we want to look back on the parts of our honeymoon that weren't beach-related or food-related? What if we just want to see the 'average' moments of our trip? You never know."

You giggled at his response. "Miguel, asking all these 'what if's won't get you anywhere."

"Miguel, asking all these 'what if's will only stress you out."

Suddenly, he wasn't in the mood to continue watching the video anymore, and his grief as well as his hatred returned with a vengeance, crying out for a scapegoat to unleash themselves out on.

"Lyla, end the video."

Confused, the woman asked, "Are you sure?"

"End. The. Video."

"Alright! Alright! No need to get mad at me."

Without apologizing to her, Miguel entered a portal and left, traveling to another dimension to hunt down his next prey.

"He should really get some therapy," Lyla muttered to herself.

»»»-——————¯\_(ツ)_/¯——————-«««

The last thing you remembered was a world of color. Blobs of bright, vibrant hues passed you by as you felt your heart rate slow and your limbs grow heavier. Even as you tried to keep yourself awake in hopes of eventually finding a way to return to Miguel, the sensation of warmth that blanketed you compelled you to close your eyes.

And then you were home.

#yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #yandere miguel o'hara #atsv x reader #yandere atsv #male yandere #big hero 6 #i could have been sleeping but i did this instead

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