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are negative numbers real? are they the same numbers but they use a funny hat (-)?
(no)
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hi, gorgeous. currently daydreaming about steve’s innocent, shy girl climbing on top of him while he’s in a chair and she’s ready to ride him but his huge hands settle on her hips to stop her and she’s looking at him all confused and ready to do her part but he just says “just sit here and look pretty for me,” before he begins to absolutely pound into her, one hand on her hips and the other holding her jaw to make her look at him. he’s just praising the hell out of his little angel baby for taking him so good because he’s just so big. the mental image of his furrowed brows and clenched jaw as he watches her completely melt on his lap from pleasure has me clutching my peARLS
– sittin’ pretty
U KNOW WHAT!! UR THE DEVIL! THE DEVIL!! anyways this request had me feral the moment i started writing it… it gets a little soft at the end tho fem!reader, light choking, hella praise kink, what the request says basically <3 and around 1.7k MDNI this entire blog is 18+
It’s hard to press down your shyness as you tug the tight elastic of your underwear down your calves. They pool at your ankles. You step out of them and resist the urge to cave in and cover yourself.
“C’mon, c’mere sweet girl,” Steve says softly, his hands smoothing over the top of his tan hairy thighs. He pats them to urge you over.
Everything feels a bit stilted as you tiptoe over to the big comfy armchair he’s seated on, with his thighs parted. You can feel a surge of slick between your thighs at the sight of his aching cock, the head all pink and drippy just for you. It lies back against his happy trail, the vein on the side prominent.
Steve offers you his hand, palm up. You take it and let your knees gently find either side of his hips, hovering hesitantly above him. Heat swirls between you, mixing with the fog of lust that emanates heavily from Steve. His adoring face gazes up at you, but his are eyes dark in a way that makes your tummy twist up.
“Hi, pretty.” He murmurs, guiding your face down for a kiss. You sigh into it sweetly, hands gripping his shoulders.
“Hi.” You whisper back, against his lips. His kiss and reverent gaze give you courage, leaning back to plant one hand on his knee. Your other hand reaches between your two bodies and curls around his throbbing cock. It’s warm and hard, twitching at the sudden stimulation. Steve hisses lowly, his tummy flexing as pleasure jolts through him.
Even though you’re shy, that doesn’t mean you’re not impatient. Today, there will be no working him up til he’s begging to be inside you, no matter how much you desperately want to. Instead, you waste no time, tilting your hips forward to let the head of his cock catch against your entrance in a way that makes you moan. Your thighs ache a little with the slow pace you lower yourself — but Steve’s cock is always a stretch.
It stings, just the slightest, but enough to make you revel in it. You sink down, hand shifting forward to hold his hip to prop yourself up, and your eyes flutter shut in pure ecstasy as his hard cock stretches you open— unaware of how Steve fights to keep his eyes open, drinking in every minuscule expression on your face.
“That’s it, honey,” He coos, sweeping his hand up your hip to tug you down an inch more. You mewl, body shuddering as you clench around him. It feels fucking mind-melting how good he feels filling you up. “That’sssss it.”
You’re whimpering by the time he’s fully hilted in you, your thighs pressed down against his own. Steve’s panting a bit, hairy chest rising and falling as he struggles to keep himself in control. You’re so wet, so warm, and god, you’re still so shy even when you’re sitting on his cock — averting your eyes even as your tight little hole clenches around him. When did he get so lucky?
Try as you might, there’s not stopping the pitiful gasp that comes out when you lift yourself back up, his cock gliding almost all the way out of your cunt. You can feel the mess you’re already making on him, can already feel the subtle ache in your thighs but none of it deviates you from your plan. You’re going to ride your boyfriend like there’s no fucking tomorrow.
But right as you prep yourself to sink back down, Steve’s hands stop you, shooting out to grab you by the hips. You pause. Shyness creeps back in.
“Wha…? Is something wrong?” You ask.
Steve’s quick to comfort, one of his hands reaching up to cup your cheek. “Hey, hey, everything’s fine. I just—“ He shift his hips up a bit and you shiver, eyes fluttering closed without thinking. When you open them again, he’s grinning.
“I just want you to sit here and look pretty for me, hm?” He leans up to kiss your cheek and it makes you entirely too distracted for what happens.
His tummy clenches, muscles tightening, as his hips suddenly snap up, thrusting his cock back deep into you. You squeal.
“Steve!” Your hands propel forward, grasping his shoulders, but he doesn’t pause. His hands on your hips tighten as he holds you in place, drilling up into your wet cunt, hard and fast. Pleasure dribbles through your core, hot and melty. His thighs slap against your own, causing them to buckle and you sink down a little lower — only forcing his cock deeper inside you.
You whine, all of a sudden overwhelmed, and tuck your face away— all too aware of how every time he fucks up into you, you make a needy little uh.
And, well, that just won’t do. With one hand keeping your hips secure, his other wanders up, creeping in around your neck. Even as he fucks you roughly, his touch is still gentle. His big hands can stretch across the expanse of your jaw— and he uses it to coax your head up. You’re already looking teary eyed, warm enough in the face that he can feel it with his hand, all from how much you’re enjoying it. Steve loves it.
“Baby,” He manages to rasp out sweetly. You gasp, hiccupy and high pitched, embarrassed by the wet squelchy noises he’s fucking out of your cunt. “Look at you, my baby. Doing so good for me, huh? Taking it so well, angel.”
You lean into the hand around your throat further, letting him curl his fingers around it a bit tighter. One of your hands flies up to grasp his wrist, needing, craving the connection.
“Steve,” you cry, delirious from the pleasure. His cock fills you over and over, unravelling you from the inside. “Steve,” You repeat his name uselessly, mouth hanging open as a whiney moan takes over.
“I know, I know.” He coos, sweet as he can be while ruining you on his cock. He’s got a furrow in his brow, his jaw set, perfect brown eyes searching your face— always looking for which button to press next, which way to make it better for you. God, you love him.
“So fucking good, isn’t it angel?” He grunts. “Perfect fuckin’ cunt, just made to take my cock, isn’t she?”
“Yes!” you keen, the words tearing from your mouth. “Yes, yes, yes, fuck,” Pathetic whimpery noises flow out freely, your grip around his wrist tightening as you feel heat gather low in your tummy.
“G-God, fuck,” Steve groans, the first hint of desperation leaking into his words. His hand around your throat tightens in the slightest, a soft pressure that has your head spinning. “Can fucking feel you getting close.”
His words make you moan, your thighs slipping further down — your hand shoots out to brace against the arm of the chair, desperate to keep him going, to reach your peak.
“Your—“ A whimper slips into his voice. “Fuck. Your pussy gets all tight when she wants to cum— y’wanna cum?”
You’re nodding along before he’s even finished his sentence. With how hard he’s fucking you, hips thrusting up against yours, it’s a wonder he can even see it. You whimper out a “Yes.” just in case.
“I know you do.” He groans loudly. “Deserve to, too. You’ve been so good, so fucking good, yeah?”
His hand holding your hip slips forward, snaking towards your clit and pleasure twists the coil in your tummy up tighter and tighter. His rough thumb pushes against it, sloppy but effective. You wail.
“Y’deserve to cream all over my cock like a good girl, don’t you?” He rasps, throat a bit wrecked from every sweet sultry noise thats passes his lips.
You’re not even sure if it’s words coming out your mouth anymore, just a whiney mess of yes’s tangled up in your moans. Steve whines, the rhythm of his strokes beginning to falter as his own orgasm begins to rear up. You whine and your hips move on their own accord— bouncing down on his cock to meet his thrusts midway.
“Yes, yes, fuck, you’re so good, y’look fucking perfect bouncing on my cock,” Steve rambles, that perfect pussy-drunk expression beginning to take over him. His moans turn to whines and with one desperate whimper of your name, you topple like a house of cards.
Pleasure unravels you. Your hips stutter and drop down, trying to cram every inch of Steve into you as you can, while your other hand claws weakly at his tummy. Heat scorches every nerve inside you, delicious and overwhelming all at once.
The scratch of your nails, the clench of your wet cunt, the pitiful crying noise you make, all of it sets Steve off — his back arching and hips bucking up, trying to get more of your hot, wet pussy. His face screws up, a high whine tearing out his throat as his hands grapple to circle around your back, trying to get you closer.
It’s a sweat press of skin, chest to chest. You twitch and moan, face tucked away safely in his neck, as Steve lets all his noises out into the curve of your own. It’s deeply intimate — enough to make your shyness peek back up when Steve digs his face out after a minute of laboured breathing. His face is pink, his expression blissful.
“You,” He huffs tiredly, eyes scanning your face worriedly. “You okay? Wasn’t too rough?”
You melt a bit, a breathy laugh escaping you. “Yeah, I’m okay.” You chuckle. Nerves rear their ugly head within you before you can flatten them. “Was I— that was good?” You check.
Steve laughs softly, nuzzling in closer to you. He smells fantastic. You can’t help how you mirror him, nosing along his cheek, letting your eyes slip shut.
“Baby, I think you melted my brain.” He says, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
#i became my own number one enemy: they fuck for almost no time at all but came so quickly#BUT#it’s beddie byes#u guys can just pretend they were already fucking on the bed before this#and changed positions <3#jay writes#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington#steve x reader#steve harrington smut#steve harrington x reader smut
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this website is great because nearly every single post about writing advice on here is flat wrong. ESPECIALLY about worldbuilding
#pers#what you enjoy seeing in stories and what you enjoy writing and what counts as ‘good’ writing are three different things#and advice posited as number 3 when its number 1 is like. the only type of worldbuilding post on here
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⚔ An immortal is dead and you're holding the murder weapon. ⚔
Sunset Phoenix is an action/mystery comic about an immortal kingpin and her criminal spy who were framed for the murder of a rival, and are trying to find the real killer before time runs out and the city succumbs to war.
Also I made it and worked hard on it and I think you should check it out because it's cool :)
#bro I worked on this for MONTHS#sunset phoenix#webtoon#anime#indie anime#animation#indie animation#comic#manga#If you think it's cool I would really TRULY greatly appreciate it if you could share#The series has been in the negative numbers-wise since the start and I've been fighting really hard to get them up#Reviews are really positive#I just hope people see it!
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Breaking The Rules
Five x Plus Size Female Reader, Words: 8,159, One-shot
Warnings: Smut, slight Daddy kink
So I received a very lovely request from someone I won't name, but they asked for something very specific:
"There aren't that many Five x plus size reader fics, And I think that should be changed"
I immediately jumped on this idea, because yes, this does need to change. Body representation is very important. I fully admit that I normally write Five with petite women, and that's usually because he's not a huge guy himself, so I tend to make them smaller. That's kind of the standard formula I suppose: bigger guy, smaller girl? But it doesn't have to always be that way. Everyone should be represented in a positive way.
Anyway, I have tried my best to fulfill this request and hopefully I do it justice. 😽❤️☂️
You had just been transferred from Records to Case Management. It was a pretty big promotion, but you had worked hard for it and deserved it. You were excited to be out of the stuffy records room and into the main population of employees since you were by nature a very social person. At one point you had thought about training for an agent position, but decided against it. Even though that’s really what you dreamed of doing. Instead, you figured vying for an executive position would be the best route, but that would take a few more years in the machine.
Part of your job was taking the data that you put together and assigning a particular agent to the case. You were good at solving puzzles, which is why you were put in this department to begin with, but you were also very good at reading people. You loved getting to know new people and their personalities, and what made them tick. People in general were fascinating to you, and the Commission had plenty of personalities.
As usual, you had no problem fitting in with your new coworkers. You had some sort of energy or charisma that drew others in. Maybe it was your infectious laugh, or your inappropriate sense of humor. Or just that way that you had of putting everyone around you at ease. Whatever it was, it was a source of pride for you. You liked being the one people gravitated to.
There was one person that did not seem as smitten with you as everyone else, and that was Number Five Hargreeves. You knew of him, of course. Everyone did. He was a legend among legends and there was a reason for that. You hadn’t been there the first time around, when he was fresh out of the Apocalypse, but when he came back years later as a younger version of himself, it was all anyone could talk about.
Five had a reputation for being aloof and if you caught him on the wrong day, he’d cut you down with some biting insult that was just as powerful as any physical harm he could do. He was smart, agile, and brutally honest. He was also hot as hell.
There seemed to be no end to the line of women that would purposefully parade past him on a daily basis. You couldn’t blame them, though. You’d caught yourself staring a few times, as you watched him read over a file with that serious expression of his, before he nodded a curt thank you and disappeared in a flash of blue. But you weren’t really that interested in him and you knew for a fact that he didn’t date inside the office. You admired that about him, actually, because neither did you.
Just because he wasn’t sleeping around the Commission, however, didn’t mean he wasn’t getting some action elsewhere. When you work for an organization that can see anything and everyone across all timelines and at any point in time…well, rumors are bound to start spreading. And you had heard a lot of them.
As with all rumors, it was hard to determine how much of it was true, but you could at least believe what you heard about his usual taste in women. Petite, thin, perky boobs, a flat stomach, and a small, tight ass. The guys at the switchboard loved to give descriptions of Five’s latest conquests, and they all sounded about the same. But hey, good for him, everyone has a type.
So, even if you were somehow interested in him from a romantic standpoint, you wouldn’t have made the cut anyway. You didn’t fit that stereotypical mold of those other women with your wide hips, slightly bigger breasts and butt, and a stomach that had never been flat. You doubted his usual dates had stretch marks on their thighs and hips, or even a small amount of cellulite on their ass. Not that you cared. Everyone’s bodies were different, after all.
Being a bigger sized woman didn’t bother you. You were confident in your body and made no apologies about it. Just because you couldn’t fit into the size negative two jeans that were constantly shoved in your face on every clothing store mannequin, didn’t mean you weren’t going to wear what you wanted. Short skirts, tight blouses that hugged your chest, or low cut, strappy dresses. If you liked it and it fit, who the fuck cared what anyone else thought? You liked yourself and your body, and if someone else didn’t, then that was their problem.
You liked sex, too, and you had no problems in that department either. You’d had many boyfriends, and a few one-night stands. Currently, you were unattached, but that was ok. There would be another man along at some point and you weren’t going to settle for someone you didn’t like. In the meantime, you’d ogle the eye candy at work.
It was a typical day when you had your first real interaction with Five. Sitting in the breakroom with your lunch, laughing loudly with your coworkers, the room suddenly became very quiet. You looked over to see Five strolling casually in, heading for the coffee station. He didn’t speak to anyone, or really even look in their direction, but there were nervous glances all around. One by one, your friends quietly made some excuse and got up to leave. Eventually, it was just you left at the table.
“Aren’t you going to flee in terror with the rest of them?”
You looked up, surprised to see that he was actually talking to you. You pointed to your salad in front of you. “I’m still eating. And you don’t really scare me, sorry.”
Five looked thoughtful for a second and you saw the glimmer of a smile before he took another sip of coffee.
“Nice work on the Edinburgh case, by the way.”
You nodded. “Thanks. I didn’t think you even knew who I was.”
Five shrugged. “I pay attention. Especially when I see real talent.”
You frowned. “So, you’re stalking me, is that what you’re telling me?”
Five almost choked on his coffee. “What? No! Why would you…”
“I’m kidding!” you laughed. “I’m just messing with you. Thank you, though. I appreciate the compliment.”
“Oh,” Five said, clearly uncomfortable. “You’re welcome.” Then he cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll leave you to finish your meal.”
“You don’t have to go, you know,” you said as he headed for the door. He stopped and looked back at you and you gestured to one of the empty seats. “It’s ok to relax sometimes. Maybe be social? And I don’t bite…at least not without prior consent,” you added with a wink.
Five stood there for a few seconds in thought, and you figured he was conjuring up some perfectly crafted insult for you. Instead, you saw his mouth twitch up at the corner and he gestured to you with his coffee cup.
“Well, that is very good to know. Consent is always important.”
With that, he turned on his heel and walked away.
A few days later you were standing with your friends in the hallway at the end of the workday, talking about the upcoming Commission pickleball tournament you were all playing in. One of your best players had been injured on a job and now you were down a body. As you were discussing options, you saw Five walking in your direction.
“Hey, Hargreeves!” you yelled. “You up for some pickleball?”
Five stopped in his tracks and actually looked around, as if there could be another Hargreeves standing right behind him. Then he looked back at you, thoroughly confused.
“What the hell are you doing?” whispered one of your friends.
“What?” you replied. “The guy’s like a hundred years old, he probably fucking loves pickleball.” You turned back to Five. “We need another player, you game?”
Still rooted to the spot, Five shook his head slowly. “Thanks for the invite. But I’ll have to decline.”
There was an audible sigh of relief from the rest of your group. You rolled your eyes. “Come on! It’ll be fun. You know what fun is, don’t you?”
Five narrowed his eyes, but you could see there was no bite to it. “Yes, I know what fun is.”
“Well, I promise this will be all sorts of fun.” You gave him a big smile. “And as a bonus, you’ll get to watch me run around in a short skirt.”
Your friend next to you slapped you on the arm. “What is wrong with you?” they hissed.
Five actually smiled for a second, you were sure of it. “Tempting, but again, I have to decline.” Then he continued on his way down the hall.
Over the next few weeks, you made it your personal mission to try and get Five to loosen up. Whether you personally delivered case files to him just as an excuse to talk to him, or purposefully followed him into the breakroom, you wouldn’t leave him alone until you got him to at least smile at something you said. After a while, you noticed he was much more relaxed around you. Eventually, you and he were officially friends, much to the amazement of everyone else around you. He even started seeking you out on his downtime.
“Hey there, handsome,” you joked as Five strode up to your desk one day. “Something I can do for you, or did you just miss me?”
“You know, I could report you to human resources for sexual harassment,” he said as he perched on the edge of your desk, folding his arms across his chest with a smile. He had a standard manilla file folder in one hand.
“It’s only harassment if you don’t like it,” you replied, pointing a pen at him.
“I’m not sure that’s accurate.”
“Sure it is,” you said as you jabbed him in the arm with the pen, laughing when he frowned and rubbed at the area. “But seriously, did you need something?”
“Maybe. I just wanted to run this by you.” He slapped the case file on your desk.
“What is it?”
“A case I was assigned to. I read it over though, and I don’t think it’s right. I wanted your opinion.”
You raised your eyebrows. “Me? The legendary Mr. Five wants my lowly opinion?”
“Just shut up and read the fucking file.”
With a laugh, you opened it and started reading. He watched you, rather intently you noticed, while you read. You frowned and shook your head, pointing at a paragraph. “Right here, this isn’t true. The clockmaker didn’t take a carriage to work that day. He walked.”
Five nodded. “That makes this whole case pointless, then. I’d be targeting the wrong person.”
“Shit, you’re right.” You looked up at him. “Good catch.”
“It looked off somehow, but I couldn’t figure it out. I knew you would, though.”
Normally you’d say something snarky to bust his balls, but he was being truly sincere and his compliment meant a lot to you. “Thanks, Five.”
He shrugged and grabbed the file off your desk. “Alright, see you later.”
As he turned around to leave, you couldn’t help yourself. “Hey, Five?”
He stopped and turned. “Yeah?”
“I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away.”
Five shook his head while you cackled at your own joke. “Can’t even make it ten seconds without treating me like a piece of meat. You’re hopeless.”
The following day, you were in the breakroom getting some coffee when you overheard a conversation by some of your coworkers.
“…yeah, I heard it’s not good. Took a shot right to the chest.”
“I heard it was a head shot; that he’s barely alive.”
“No way, I don’t believe it. Not him.”
You turned toward the group, coffee cup in hand. “Who are you talking about?”
“You haven’t heard? Your buddy was shot up pretty bad today.”
You frowned, lowering your cup. “Who, Five?”
“Yeah. I only heard bits and pieces so far, but it doesn’t sound great. They brought him directly to the infirmary when he came back. There was a trail of blood in the hall and everything.”
“What?” you cried, slamming your cup on the counter. “That can’t be.”
Your friend shrugged. “I’m just telling you what I heard.”
“Shit,” you hissed, before running out of the room.
You didn’t slow down the entire way to the infirmary, dodging people in the halls, and almost knocking a few of them over in the process. How could Five be hurt? And why was just the thought making you sick to your stomach?
You burst into the infirmary just in time to see several nurses scurrying away, and a very angry and bloodied Five sitting up in one of the hospital beds.
“God damnit, if you touch me one more time, I swear to god, I will strangle you with my IV line!”
“Oh my god, Five!” Without even thinking about it, you rushed up to him and threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly to you. “Holy shit, I thought you were dead!”
His body stiffened at first, but then he relaxed and put his arms around you in return. You heard him laugh and you pulled away.
“I bet you’d like that. Then you’d finally be able to molest me without me fighting back.”
You realized a few tears had slipped down your cheek and you hurriedly wiped them away. You gave him a half-smile. “You wish.” Then you looked him over, noticing the blood on his head and the IV in his arm. “Are you ok? What happened?”
He sighed. “Nothing, just a minor mishap. I’m fine.” He spoke louder and in the general direction of the nursing staff. “But these jack-holes won’t let me leave!”
You huffed out a laugh. “I can see you’re fine by your usual lovely attitude. You should hear the rumors going around about you, though. Pretty impressive.”
“Good. I need to keep up appearances.”
When you sat down on the side of the bed, you took one of his hands in yours and squeezed it. “I’m glad you’re ok, really. I got really scared there for a minute.”
Five smiled shyly at you and gave you a squeeze back. “I’m glad someone here was worried about me.”
You tilted your head to the side and brushed a stray piece of hair off his forehead and tried to wipe away a smudge of blood. “I doubt I’m the only one.”
“I think you are,” he said, looking you directly in the eyes.
You averted your eyes for a moment. “Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Maybe just one thing.”
“Sure, what do you need?”
He grinned. “Go on a date with me.”
You weren’t sure you heard him correctly. “Did they check you for a concussion because I thought you just asked me out on a date.”
“I did. And no, I am not concussed.”
“Five…” you started, blinking in confusion. “I don’t understand. Do you mean like a date date?”
He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Jesus. Yes, like a date date. Why is this so hard to believe?”
“Uh, well…because we’re friends. Also, I’m not really your type.”
His eyebrows creased together. “You’re not? You’re funny, smart, and sexy. Not to mention you flirt with me every chance you get. What’s not to like?”
“I do not flirt with you.” You smiled when you saw his incredulous expression. “Ok, yeah, I do. But that was just having fun and trying to make you laugh. I didn’t think you’d be into me.”
“Why not?”
“Ok, how do I put this? I have heard all about your little conquests and I know you have a running theme. Skinny, tiny, Barbie dolls that probably have never eaten a sandwich before. And not that there’s anything wrong with that. Everyone has a type and that’s ok. Hell, normally I prefer blond guys, but…”
“Normally?” he cut in.
You blushed. “Well, I do make some exceptions for certain grouchy, dark-haired men.”
Five nodded with a smile. “So then go out with me. I promise the only type I have is the type that I happen to be attracted to. And don’t believe everything you hear around here. Remember,” he pointed to the small abrasion on his head, “I was almost dead a couple of minutes ago.”
Hesitating, you shook your head. “I don’t date anyone from work.”
“Good. Me either,” he said, still grinning.
You laughed. “Alright, then, you wore me down. It’s a date. But only if you promise to stay here for at least another hour without verbally or physically abusing these poor health care workers. It’s not their fault you’re an asshole.”
“Fine, I’ll stay, but only because I want to go out with you.” He raised his voice so the rest of the room could hear. “Not because I need to be treated like a child who fell off their tricycle!”
The next Saturday, you and Five went on your date. When he saw your outfit, he was speechless for a few seconds. He was used to seeing you in your work clothes, which was always the same boring gray pants suit, but now he got to see you in your preferred style. A form-fitting, teal blue dress that stopped halfway down your thighs and had a keyhole neckline to show off a bit of cleavage. You paired it with some gold jewelry and black, strappy heels. You laughed at his face when he saw you.
“You look…” he stammered. “That dress…just wow.”
“Thank you.” You looked him up and down, liking the way his tailored pants fit his lean body just right and his casual button-down shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves accentuated his sculpted chest. You had never really noticed how strong he looked. “You look really good, too. Much better than the stuffy suits.”
“Agreed,” he said distractedly as he continued to stare at your chest.
“Excuse me, but my eyes are up here,” you joked, pointing to your face.
He looked up briefly, then back down at your body. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to your eyes in a minute.”
“Wow, I had no idea you were such a pervert.”
He looked up at you with a devious smile. “Oh, yeah, huge pervert. I’m surprised you never picked up on that.” He laughed along with you and then offered his arm for you to loop yours through. “Shall we?”
At dinner, the conversation came easily. It was nice to be able to chat without having to cut it short due to work. Your stories were much duller than his, obviously, but he still seemed genuinely interested in anything you had to say. You made him laugh with your sarcastic comments and you loved knowing you were just about the only one that could crack that veneer of his. Over dessert, you finally worked up enough nerve to ask him what you really wanted to know.
“So, how come you’ve only dated thin girls before?”
Five looked surprised and he shook his head. “I haven’t only dated thin girls.”
You cocked your head to the side and raised your eyebrows. “Really?”
He coughed, embarrassed. “Ok, fine, that’s true. But it wasn’t a conscious decision. Like I said, I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to.” He paused. “But…”
“But what?”
“But what I am most attracted to is confidence. I like a woman that is sure of herself and assertive. A woman that knows what she wants.” He looked guilty for a second. “Usually, at least in my experience, those are the women that happen to fit into the societal standards of beauty. I hadn’t really thought about it until now, though. Sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not a bad thing. I was just curious.” You hesitated, not sure you wanted to keep pressing him for information. “What was it that attracted you to me, then?”
He looked surprised again and then he laughed. “Are you kidding? I’ve never met anyone as confident and self-assured as you. Plus, you’re funny and easy to be around. And almost as smart as I am.”
“As modest as always.”
“I’m just kidding,” he said with a smile. “You’re incredibly smart, obviously. I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who wasn’t. And…” He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of yours, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. You felt a warm, tingling sensation ripple through your body. “You are also incredibly sexy with your shameless flirting.”
“Well, I’m glad you noticed,” you said, taking your finger and brushing it over his. “And just in case you didn’t know, you are also incredibly sexy.”
“I did not know that.”
“Oh yeah. I made a lot of enemies once word got out that I was going on a date with you. Lots of jealous women back at headquarters right now.”
“Is that so? Can I get a list of those women, just in case this date goes bad?”
Taking your foot, you dragged it up his calf, all while looking him in the eye with one eyebrow raised suggestively. “I don’t think it’s going to go bad, do you?”
He shook his head. “I don’t now.” You saw him swallow hard and shift in his seat. “How about we get the check?”
When you got back to your place, you were almost falling through the door as you struggled to get inside while aggressively making out. Neither of you had even made it out of the car before you started groping one another, so that by the time you had made it home, you were both on fire.
“You know,” you mumbled between frantic kisses as Five slammed the door closed behind him with his foot. “I don’t usually put out on the first date.”
“Me either,” he said as he grabbed you around the waist to pull you in closer, kissing you along your jaw.
“Ok, I lied. Yes, I do,” you exhaled breathily as your hands wound into his hair and he moved his mouth to your neck.
“Good, because I lied too,” he said, stopping to look at you with a sly grin.
After letting out a short laugh, you were back on his mouth again, breathing hard through your nose and pressing your body against his. You could feel his arousal building as he pushed his groin into your hip. Your hands fumbled as you started to unbutton his shirt.
“Fuck, you are so hot,” he breathed against your neck. “I want you out of this dress.”
As you finished undoing the last button and pulling his shirt out of his pants, you nodded. “Yeah, good idea.” When you reached down to pull at the strap of your shoe, he put a hand on yours to stop you. When you looked up, he shook his head.
“I said the dress. The shoes stay on.”
Well, if you hadn’t been wet before, you were now. The tone of his voice and the seriousness of his face only added to the hotness factor and at that point you would have followed almost any demand he made of you. Leaving the shoes on, you pulled the dress over your head while he watched. Even though you hadn’t really been anticipating your date progressing this far, you had still prepared with a pair of satin panties and lace bra that matched the same jewel tone as the dress you dropped onto the floor.
Five didn’t say anything, just eyed you up and massaged the back of his neck. Then he let out a long, shaky exhale.
“Are you ok?” you asked, suddenly a little concerned he might not be liking what he saw.
Five nodded, his gaze not leaving your breasts. “Yeah, just give me a second. I’m trying not to come in my pants.”
Your astonished laugh was quickly cut off when you found yourself pinned against the wall on the other side of the room, the fluttery sensation of one of Five’s spatial jumps lingering in your stomach. Your squeak of surprise was swallowed by his mouth on yours, as he pushed hard against you, his hands on your tits.
When he flicked his tongue across your bottom lip, you moaned and closed your eyes, jerking your hips into him. Your hands found their way to his hard chest and muscular arms, feeling them tighten and relax with each movement. He let you tug his shirt the rest of the way off and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pressed his face into the side of your neck and lifted one of your legs up to his waist. His hard cock was grinding into you as you drew in a ragged breath. When you felt his lips against your skin and his warm breath as he brushed his mouth over your neck, you let out a loud whine.
“That’s right, sweetheart. Let Daddy hear you,” he groaned, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thigh and holding you tightly to him.
“Woah…Daddy?” you breathed out.
Five nodded, moving to the other side of your neck. “Is that ok?”
“Fuck yes, Daddy,” you moaned, running your hands greedily down his back.
You felt him smile against you and his kisses turned into small nips that he trailed down your neck and onto your shoulder.
“I want you. I can’t wait,” he said, his voice husky with desire.
“The bedroom is in there,” you said, pointing to the room just on the other side of the wall.
Five let your leg down and you pulled him by the hand into your bedroom, falling onto the bed and propping yourself on your elbows as Five stood there staring again.
“Well, come on, Daddy,” you teased. “I thought you couldn’t wait.”
A slow smile spread across Five’s face as he immediately started to undress the rest of the way, until he was crawling over you, completely naked. He rubbed his cock against your inner thigh, making a quiet growling noise in his throat before looking you in the eye.
“As much as I love this little bra and panty combination you’ve got going on here, I’m going to need those to go, too.”
When you nodded eagerly, he reached behind you and expertly unhooked your bra, tossing it off the bed before immediately moving farther south and ripping your underwear off. Once you were completely nude, Five sat back to take you all in. You assumed he liked what he saw, because it was only another second before he was covering you with his own body, attacking your full breasts with frantic sucking kisses.
“Damnit, honey, these tits…fuck,” he moaned as he buried his face in your cleavage.
“I take it that you’re pleased?” you giggled, threading your fingers through his hair.
He lifted his head, holding himself over you while he shoved your legs further apart with his knees. Then he lowered himself to kiss you tenderly, caressing your face with one hand. You let out a soft sigh.
“I’m more than pleased. You’re beautiful.”
He leaned in to kiss you again, this time using his free hand to travel down your chest and abdomen, and along your inner thighs. His long fingers met the soft, wet area between them, and he slowly ran them up through your pillowy folds, making you even wetter.
“Five…” you moaned as you rocked your hips up to match his strokes.
“What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me,” he asked, only slightly condescending as he continued to watch your face for your reactions.
Five entered you with two fingers, pressing in slowly and then backing out again before repeating it in a slow rhythm. You chased his hand with desperate thrusts of your hips, biting your bottom lip to try to contain some of the noises that threatened to escape your lips.
“Fuck me, please,” you whined, throwing your head back.
He gave a quiet chuckle and you felt his hand move away from you. Then he was positioning himself between your legs and lowering himself so that you could feel his dick rubbing against your slit.
“God, I swear I’ve never been this hard in my life. I’m going to fuck you like you want, gorgeous. Daddy’s going to take care of you.”
“Oh, shit,” you gasped when you felt him enter you, just slow enough not to be jarring, but not drawing it out, either.
When he was fully inside, you angled your hips so he was at just the right spot.
“How’s that?” he whispered as he slowly pumped into you.
“That’s good…” You grabbed at his shoulders and back. “Keep going.”
Five continued his slow and lazy thrusts while holding himself over you so he could look down at your face and body. His hair fell forward over his eye and he made quiet groaning noises that were punctuated with soft kisses.
“You feel so damn good,” he moaned.
“Five?”
“What do you need, darling?”
“I need you to really fuck me. Hard.”
He looked down at you, momentarily stopping his movements. Then he laughed quietly and you smiled back. “Well, I did say I’d fuck you like you wanted, didn’t I?”
When he pulled out, you let out a soft sigh and watched as he crawled back off the bed, his dick still hard and wet from being inside of you.
“Wha--?” you started to ask, right before he yanked your legs sideways, so that you were laying across the width of the bed.
Five positioned himself between your legs, holding them up under your knees and settling them on either side of his waist while he lined himself up and slammed into you again.
“Is this what you wanted?” he snarled, continuing to thrust into you hard and fast.
“Yes!” you cried, clutching at the sheets beneath you.
Every time he pounded into you, you got to feel the intensity of his strength as your entire body moved back and forth, your tits bouncing enticingly in front of him. He gave your voluptuous ass a hard slap that made you cry out again. You instinctively covered your mouth with your arm.
“Oh, no, I don’t think so,” Five warned through clenched teeth. “Uncover your mouth. I want to hear you scream.”
Everything he was doing and saying was driving you quickly over the edge, and you did scream for him, just like he wanted. You couldn’t even help yourself.
“Yes…please…keep going…harder, please! I need more!”
You were begging and pleading while he railed into you as hard as he possibly could, thrusting his thick cock deep inside of you while slamming his pubic bone right into your clit every single time. All while completely supporting your lower body, angling it up and off the bed so he could fuck you relentlessly and perfectly.
Soon, you felt your muscles start to twitch and your head fell back, your mouth wide open as you repeatedly asked him to fuck you harder. When you finally hit that wall, you completely lost yourself, screaming his name while bucking and thrashing wildly against him.
Your orgasm was still coming in waves when Five released himself inside of you, his head tipped back and jaw set, growling obscenities while his muscles contracted and he dug his fingers harder into your thighs.
When the intensity had passed, Five let go of your legs, setting them gently down, and he leaned over the top of you, his hands on either side of your head. He kissed you tenderly, still trying to catch his breath.
“Fuck, that was good,” he said with a heavy exhale.
You nodded, laying a hand on his cheek. “So damn good.”
After another minute, you both moved so that you were lying longways on the bed again. Five held you against his chest while he kissed your forehead and traced his fingers down your arms and back.
“I’m not sure why we haven’t been doing that all along,” he joked.
“Because you needed to get to know me and my sparkling personality first.”
Five rolled his eyes. “Sparkling? I don’t know, that seems a bit much.”
When you giggled, he pulled you close to him. Your lips pulled to the side in thought and after a few seconds you decided to just put it out there.
“Are you sure you’re ok with my body? I mean, I am, but I just want to make sure you are, too. Because if this is going to continue, and I really hope it does, then I need to know you’re going to be ok with my size and not try to change me after a while. I’ve dated men in the past that said they were ok with it, but then a month or so later, they’re encouraging me to go to the gym or making comments about my diet. They all got kicked to the curb, because I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. I am who I am and I love my body. I just want to make sure you do, too.”
Five was quiet for a moment, then he held your chin in his hand. “Look at me,” he said quietly, while tilting you face up. “I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that body type or looks matter to me, because it doesn’t. I just had the most mind-blowing sex I have ever had, and I wouldn’t change one single thing about you. You’re perfect.”
“Wow,” you said with a smile. “Five Hargreeves just called me perfect. Wait until I spread this rumor down at headquarters.”
“I’m serious,” he said. “You believe me, don’t you?”
You nodded. “I believe you. And thank you.” You gave him a soft kiss and smiled. “So, does this mean I can keep sexually harassing you at work?”
“I hereby give you permission to harass me as much as you want on a daily basis. I will welcome it.”
After that first date, you and Five couldn’t get enough of one another. It was like just being in the same building with him set your body on fire. You would find yourself staring off, lost in a daydream about what his mouth felt like and then someone would clear their throat or say your name, and you’d realize they had been talking to you without you noticing.
Obviously, everyone knew that something was going between you two. You hadn’t exactly spread the word, but you also hadn’t denied it. You didn’t really care what anyone thought, anyway. The only problem was, there was a strict policy of no relationships between case managers and field agents in place. This was done to protect the agents, and to avoid any favoritism with assignments. A few casual flings here and there were overlooked, but serious relationships were usually squashed. Not that you would describe what you had as serious. Yet, anyway.
You did love spending time with one another, even without the sex. You even made Five join you at lunch with your usual group, much to the shock of your friends. It was awkward at first, but when Five cracked a very dry and cutting joke about someone in upper management, the table went silent for a second before bursting into laughter. He looked at you in surprise, like he couldn’t believe he was having this type of positive social interaction. You just smiled and shrugged, mouthing “I told you so”.
Despite the fact that you spent a lot of time together outside of work, that didn’t stop either of you from taking advantage of your proximity at the Commission. You had lost count of the number of times you two had stolen away somewhere in the building for a quickie during the day. With Five’s status plus his convenient teleportation powers, you could hide anywhere you could think of that would give you at least a few minutes of privacy.
You would be sitting there, attempting to work on a case, when Five would come strolling in. Just the sight of him striding into the room, all confident and sexy with that tiny smirk on his face, made you want to jump on top of him. He would approach you with some made up problem he had and ask you to go with him so you could help straighten it out. It was pretty apparent what was going on, and your coworkers would exchange glances around you, but you didn’t care.
Once you were safely down the hallway, Five would grab you and blink you into some abandoned storage room where you were immediately attacked. You had told him to stop being so aggressive while at work, because the hickeys he was leaving on your neck were clearly visible. But that didn’t stop him from shoving you against a table or a wall, all while kissing you fervently and telling you how much he wanted you in that deep, growling voice of his.
Dropping to his knees to eat you out while kneading the flesh of your ass. Spinning you around to bend you over a table before fingering you and then fucking you from behind. Biting and sucking at your tits and stomach, leaving marks that would be hidden by your clothes, but were still a reminder of who you belonged to. All of it was expertly done, as only Five could do, and you couldn’t get enough.
The servicing wasn’t a one-way street, though. You liked to flip the tables sometimes and push him against the wall, sliding slowly down his body until you were kneeling in front of him, hands already clawing at his belt and zipper while you called him Daddy. When you would take all of him into your mouth, he would hiss through his teeth and groan loudly, his hand resting in your hair while he praised you for being good for him. He wanted you to look at him while you sucked him off, and tell you to finger yourself while you did it. You’d be choking on his dick, a hand shoved into your panties, and both of you moaning until you came; all while the throngs of Commission employees were passing by right outside the door.
It was quickly becoming apparent that your relationship was evolving into something more. You were starting to spend more nights together, sleeping in one another’s beds, curled up together and waking up happy in the morning, just to be near each other. Five loved cuddling up with you, pulling your soft body close against his, and nuzzling into your neck or hair. He told you how happy you made him and thanked you for pulling him out of his shell. He’d idly stroke your arms and thighs while you would lie together in the dark, just talking quietly. In the morning, he’d trace patterns over the white, jagged lines that criss crossed your abdomen and hips, reminding you how beautiful you were as the sunlight spilled across your bed.
Your feelings for Five were starting to seep into your everyday routines and the work you normally prided yourself on. You found yourself worrying about every assignment he went on, even though you knew he was a professional and could handle it.
After a while, the cases you started assigning him got easier and easier, whereas before you would have given him the most difficult and dangerous ones. He finally called you out on it when he received a total rookie assignment while another agent that was not nearly as skilled received a much more complicated one.
He sat on the corner of your desk, a smug grin on his face, as he dropped the file in front of you.
“What the hell is this?” he asked you, still smiling.
You glanced down at the file, then back at him. “What do you mean?”
He tapped the file with his finger. “This garbage. It’s a case for a newbie. Hell, you could probably hand this to any random person off the street and they could do it. So what’s going on?”
You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest and frowning. “Maybe I thought you just needed a break, that’s all.”
He studied your face and shook his head. “No, that’s not it. Every case I get from you these days is getting simpler and simpler. I just haven’t said anything until now. Are you losing faith in my abilities, is that it?”
Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “Of course not! It’s just, you know…” Your voice trailed off and your eyes flitted away from his.
“No, I don’t know. Tell me.”
With a heavy sigh, you dropped your hands onto the desk in front of you, looking up at him. “Fine. I’m scared to give you anything complicated because I’m afraid something will happen to you. And I don’t really want my boyfriend being gunned down or stabbed or beaten all to shit, ok? Especially not in another timeline where you might not even be able to come back.”
Five took a second to absorb that information, then he looked down with a smile. “You really worry about me?”
“Yes, I worry about you. Is that so bad? You might not be as amazing as you think you are. You’re not infallible, you know.”
Five made a face like he hadn’t actually considered that before, which was mildly infuriating, and then he looked at you with that gentle smile of his that you knew he saved only for you. He leaned in and gave you a quick but tender kiss full on the mouth, even though you were still in a roomful of people that could see. When he pulled away, you felt your face flush, but not from embarrassment.
“Thank you,” he whispered earnestly.
Then he flashed you that arrogant smirk again, the dimple on his cheek deepening, before snatching a much thicker file off your desk, and blinking away without another word.
It was only a matter of time, you supposed, before Corporate caught wind of your relationship. Especially when you were making erratic decisions with your cases lately. Both you and Five received a notice from senior management requesting a meeting. You were a mess of anxiety and nerves when the time came. Your career was important to you, and it was not in your nature to just throw that away for some man. But Five wasn’t just any man, was he? If you were going to have to choose between your job and your relationship with him, you had no idea what you were going to do.
Sitting in front of the executive’s desk, your leg bounced up and down with nerves as you waited for Five to join you. When he arrived, he had the absolute audacity to look calm and unbothered as he sat down in the chair next to you. He greeted the manager and then turned to give you a wink and a small smile. You really had no idea how he could be this nonchalant. Maybe he didn’t care if you had to end things.
“As I’m sure you know, the reason you two have been called here today is –”
Five cut your manager off mid sentence. “Yes, we are fully aware. According to section 64, subsection D of the Commission Code of Conduct, we are prohibited from being in a romantic relationship with one another.”
The executive paused. “Well, yes, that’s correct. And so –”
“And so you have to inform us that we either have to end our relationship or resign from our positions.”
There was another moment of perplexed silence from across the desk. “Uh, yes…”
“But that is only because of the current departments we work for, due to conflicting interests, correct?” Five continued.
“That is correct, yes. But—”
“So, if we move to the same department, that shouldn’t be an issue?”
“Well…yes…I suppose…”
You looked at Five, completely confused. “Five, what are you doing? You don’t want to work in case management. I know you don’t.”
He nodded. “You’re right. But you can train to become a field agent.”
Your mouth hung open. “What?”
“You’ve only mentioned that you were interested in being out in the field about 50 times, so why not? They can always use more agents,” he turned to the manager, “Isn’t that right?”
The man cleared his throat. “Oh. Well, yes, that’s true.”
Five nodded again, as if that explained everything. “Alright then, so move her to my department. She has the determination and skill. And you have my official recommendation, which as you know, holds a lot of weight around here.”
There was another look of bewilderment in your direction. “Yes, Mr. Hargreeves, that’s true. I suppose we could do that—”
Five stood up with a smile. “Great! It’s all settled then.” He turned to you, still sitting in your chair and trying to make sense of all of this.
What he had said was true. You had told Five many times that you wished you could have his job. But you figured that was outside of your skill set. Five didn’t seem to agree. He knew you were highly intelligent, strong, and had the right personality. You just needed the proper training.
He reached out a hand to pull you up. “Is this all ok with you, darling? Do you have anything to add?”
You shook your head slowly. “Uh, no…I mean, yes…I mean, yes I’m ok with it and I don’t have anything else to add.”
“Great!” Five turned to the manager. “Just send me the paperwork we need to fill out and we can call it good.”
The manager shook each of your hands and it appeared that the meeting was over before it began. Five guided you towards the door with a hand on your back. You looked over your shoulder, still unsure of what exactly just happened, but you let him push you outside into the hall.
“What the fuck, Five?” you demanded, hands on your hips. “You want to tell me what is happening right now?”
“It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? They weren’t going to let us keep dating if we were working in our current departments, so one of us had to move. And I know this is what you really wanted.”
You thought for a moment. “So…you didn’t think of breaking up with me just to keep things the same?”
His mouth dropped open and then he snapped it shut again, his brows furrowing and creating deep creases between his eyes. “No. Of course not.” He took a few steps closer to you and took your face gently into his hands, gazing into your eyes. “I love you.”
You drew in a sharp breath. “What?”
“I love you,” he repeated, this time with a smile.
You answered him, your own grin spreading slowly across your face. “Say that again.”
Five laughed, leaning down to kiss you and you hugged him around his waist. “I love you,” he said again after breaking away.
“I love you too, Five. I don’t know if I realized it until just now, but I do. I love you so much.”
Five nodded. “Well, that’s a relief. Because I would have looked like a giant asshole if I did all that and you shot me down.”
Laughing, you reached up for another kiss that quickly turned very heated. When you pulled away, Five was breathing hard and he tugged your body harder against his.
“There’s an empty room down the hallway over there,” he said suggestively.
You shook your head. “Sorry, honey, but we have to get to work. I have a lot of training to start on.”
“I think you forget who your new boss is,” he said in that serious tone of his.
Five pulled you in tightly again, kissing you hard on the mouth and flattened you against the wall. His hand roamed down to your chest and he gave your breast a small squeeze while pressing his knee in between your legs. When he heard you moan softly into his mouth, he backed away with a grin.
“You know, I can report you to HR for sexual harassment,” you said with a crooked smile, even though you were having a hard time controlling your heart rate.
“It’s not harassment if you like it,” he shot back before giving you a loud smack on the ass.
Then he turned around and walked away, leaving you flustered and hot; but also with that amazing feeling in the pit of your stomach from knowing you had found the perfect person to love and that loved you just as much in return.
#five hargreeves x reader#number five x reader#five hargreeves x you#five hargreeves#number five#number five smut#body positive#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#five hargreeves smut#fanfiction requests#requests open#tua fanfic#tua fanfiction#umbrella academy fanfic#smut#badkittywrites
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day 232
roommate brought this one up and u know what. u know what!! i think its fun.
#day 232#year 5#aradia megido#tavros nitram#equius zahhak#homestuck#AradiaAugust#aradia likes and respects tavros whose interactions with equius as far as we can tell have been Largely Positive#equius seems. lets say. amenable to being told what to do by lowbloods. and might thus listen to tavros long enough#to actually internalize How To Be More Normal to aradia#tavros actually gets his advice and input listened to by somebody he would likely find intimidating for a number of reasons#thus building his confidence a little#like. im not saying he could fix them. but damn if he isnt in probably the best position possible to try
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Umemiya Hajime | Wind Breaker Ep. 10 “Dialogue"
#wbktimely#wind breaker#hajime umemiya#umemiya hajime#windbreakeredit#toriigifs#animangaboys#userdabiluna#usersophies#userartless#userinahochi#userpayel#userhanyi#animeedit#i love him with all my ❤#my gojo from another universe ❤#he came to my rescue when i needed him the most ❤#Such positive and heartwarming energy radiating from him.... he heals my soul 💕#I'm sorry for the long post but I just couldn't elimate one#it took me ages to reduce the number of scenes to gif XD such a great ep today
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FIVE & BEN ft. checking up on your little brother.
#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#number five#tua#the umbrella academy#crying screaming etc. etc. these were hell to make but look at them. just. look! i love them so much#it's the way five keeps looking back at ben as ben shuffles next to him for me. something something they were two sides of a coin your hono#and sure they positioned themselves following number order. however it's interesting to note how luther and diego and allison seem a little#further away from klaus and five and ben. like. so many thoughts. SO MANY THOUGHTS. but yeah i needed to point out five and ben's dynamic#aidan gallagher#ethan hwang#ciel edits#56
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credit: @ pixellbug
#angel numbers#angel posts#numbers#angels#angel#positivity#angel number 111#angel number 222#angel number 333#angel number 444#angel number 555#angel number 777#angel number 888#angel number 999
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okay you know the american express skate shop commercial?
eddie who co-ownes a skate shop despite having only been on skateboard twice in his life (he broke his arm the second time) but gareth loves skating more than drums, and the band never went anywhere but his skate career DID, so eddie somehow wound up taking care of gareth's shop while he travels the world breaking his bones. eddie's clientele is a pretty narrow group, until fucking steve harrington himself (his hs school crush) comes into the shop asking for a board for his daughter.
months of awkward flirting later, eddie finds out max is a big fan of gareth and that night eddie is curled around gareth's ankles chanting "please please please please please please please" and gareth throws up his hands and agrees to meet them.
that weekend eddie happily gets to hang off steve's shoulder while gareth and max are tearing up a half pipe. max is happy, so steve is happy, and gareth is impressed with max's talent and keeps getting more and more into coaching her through a few little tricks, and eddie may never get into steve's pants, but anything is worth seeing steve smile, so happy and excited for his kid and—oh fuck, eddie's in love fucking shitting fuck
meanwhile, steve spends each morning lamenting to robin as they get their bakery ready for the day how he'll die alone because eddie won't ask him out and robin keeps yelling at him, all exasperated "why don't YOU ask him out then??" and steve pouts because that's no fun
anyways one day eddie wanders into the shop not even realizing that steve works there (luckily he's doing a delivery atm), and robin sees eddie from all the way in the back and beelines it out so eddie just randomly gets accosted by the bread lesbian hissing "i need you to dick down and marry steve already or i WILL kill him, i'll drown him in the sourdough."
eddie walks back out thinking robin's some kind of prophet or psychic, he has no idea that she actually knows steve.
but who is he to argue with a fate-sayer? and he fulfills part of the prophecy that very night.
#stranger things#steddie#when he finally does meet robin he points in her face and yells LESBIAN BREAD PROPHET#she declares him public enemy number one from then on#max does skate tricks all the way down the aisle at their wedding#skate coach gareth from the best man position is crying real tears of real pride#this has absolutely been done before but#i was watchin a documentary about bread (????) and saw the commercial and the demons started whispering in my ear
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DANI ROJAS & JAN MAAS Ted Lasso (2020-2023)
#ted lasso#tedlassoedit#tedlassosource#dani rojas#jan maas#cristo fernández#david elsendoorn#gifs.#they're literally best friends look at them#numbers right next to each other... no nonsense tall guy + silly smiley shorter guy... realist + idealist...#unstoppable force (jan's honesty & inability to read a room) vs immovable object (dani's positivity & inability to read a room)#in the first ep of s3 when they're talking about richmond being placed last on everyone's predictions for the season or smth:#jan spitting out statistics about relegations that no one wants to hear + dani's 'maybe they're trying to motivate us!'#the inability to read a room but on opposite ends of the spectrum is something that can be so personal ......
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making a positivity post because i really need some of this today. hair loss is natural, hair loss is a neutral trait. Trans people who are going through pattern baldness are hot and sexy, we are doing our best and we are cool and funny and hot. you are not lesser for losing hair, people will still find you attractive and want to be around you with hair loss or not. you are hot shit dont let a lil bald spot stand in your way!
#anyway i needed this for myself after T's been doing a number on my hairline#this goes for all trans folks btw trans masc trans fem nonbinary folks#we are all hot baldness or not#queer#achillean#mlm positivity#wlw positivity#trans positivity#trans woman#trans man#queer positivity#gay#transgender#mlm
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Lando is now the highest point scoring driver in McLaren history
#lando norris#some positivity on this day#and many many many many more to come#nobody comment on the number of points or races of the past go away just celebrate the boy
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
Can children consent?
According to my notifications, someone was very interested in hearing my opinion on that - leaving that question under a lot of my posts, regardless of whether they mentioned consent or had any possible connection to that question whatsoever.
Is it possible that someone, for some personal reason, just really wants to discuss the topic “children and consent” with me (and is perhaps being a bit clumsy about it but has good intentions)?
Yeah, I guess so, but: some other commentators pointed out that these questions seemed random and unrelated to my content, and were met with “So you think children can consent?”… and if you weren’t suspicious before, you should definitely be at this point.
Sadly, there are some people who will ask loaded questions to lgbt+ creators in hopes of getting an answer that they can twist into something nefarious. “Can Children consent?” is a loaded question because even a completely innocent and harmless answer could be misconstrued as “proof” that lgbt+ people are pedophiles who are trying to groom kids… if you look for proof, and are willing to twist or purposefully misunderstanding someone’s words, you’ll find proof.
Take this post for example, I didn’t even answer the question. The reason for that is that, well, I just explained how my answer would be misconstrued anyway. Plus, the answer is actually super obvious and nothing you can have one opinion or the other about (Obviously kids can’t consent to sex, they’re not mentally and emotionally developed enough to give informed consent to sexual acts) - and if you really really want to, you could interpret even that in bad faith. “He’s dodging the question!” or “He’s instantly jumping to sex! Maybe the question was just about a hug” or “Okay but why would you defend yourself if you were innocent” or… I don’t even know. It’s tiring to think about all the ways people can paint you as evil to justify their hatred of you.
And that’s also the point of me even talking about this in the first place: not just a „don’t fall for the bait” but a “it’s okay to be tired”. Having to be on the lookout for bait is tiring. Having to consider possible bad intentions is tiring. Knowing that falling for bait could end in you get harassed or doxxed or threatened… yeah, that is tiring.
Having to worry about your safety is tiring. I wish I could end this on a more positive note - but sometimes the most comforting thing we can do without lying is to admit that some things suck.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
#I’ll openly admit that one of the reasons I don’t post a lot currently is the overwhelming number of ter/fs on this site#but there are also sweeter reasons (I’m in a happy and beautiful qpr now - which has distracted me in a positive way!)#lgbt#lgbt+
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legend sitting compilation!
x x x x x x x x x x x
#he sits :)#got that autism/queer/scoliosis swag#this is a collection of different poses#in sunset 8 i think he stayed in one position so i didn't grab all those panels#spy the pfp challenge#yes kneeling counts#if this gets... some kind of milestone i'll make another eye candy lege collection#lmk which number we should aim for#linked universe#lu#lu legend
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