#poor unlucky bastard

[dyinggirldied]

Current status of TSCTIR and ORV novel: end + side stories.

Current status of TCF novel: ongoing at 1000+ chaps

[blueteller]

Cale lying to us about the very premise of his own story be like...

[wandering-tides]

ALL HAIL GOD FIVE COLOUR LIGHT... CALE HENITUSE‼️

[sapongpiepong-blog]

‘Poor poor Cale. He’s always getting farther and farther from what he wants. He sure has quite the talent for doing that.’

Eruhaben-nim voicing out all of our thoughts about Cale

[savythenillerwaffer]

tired eyes

[ikamigami]

I don't have a boop button and I feel like an outcast.

Nihil novi 😑

[mishkakagehishka]

Well. I want a baby so bad it's making me stupid

[shell-senji]

I hate him so much.

[blueteller]

I've come to the illuminating conclusion that Kim Rok Soo/Cale Henituse trying to find his Slacker Life through his whole life is just like Odysseus struggling to get back home for 20 years – except if Ody was schizophrenic and Ithaca did not actually exist

[ilguna]

managers really think they know it all, huh?

[selfundiagnosed]

[ohdeersthings]

Okay, so you know that scene from Disney's Hercules? With Meg when she stands up while ringing out her hair and the water is beautiful behind her and Hercules is whipped? Yeah that but with Neteyam.

~.~

After relocating to the Metkayina and learning their ways, Neteyam had finally grown into one of their own, in both spirit and body. Now an adult, he grew taller, broader, his physic left many girls and women watching him like predators from a distance.

Coming back from a successful hunting trip, he carried a large net of fish on his back, Ao'nung and other men walking along side him with their own. "I'd say today was an excellent hunt,"Ao'nung had a smug look on his face, dumping the net off fish into a large basket that the clans cooks used in their little pavilion to keep track of the food brought in.

"You only say that because you got the biggest catch of the day," Neteyam gave a playful glare to his friend, shoving the next clan leader out of his way before dumping his own net of fish as well.

"Ah, come on my friend," Ao'nung placed his arm around the dark blue Na'vi, giving him a teasing noogie to the head before the man pushed him with a growl, pointing his finger at Ao'nung.

"Keep on, we'll see who's the better hunter," Neteyam challenged, their friends of the group letting out hoots of encouragement at the sound of the banter. "So you say Forest Boy," Ao'nung was quick to push Neteyam down out of surprise, taking off into the village laughing.

"Ao'nung, you skxawng!" Neteyam quickly stood up and took off after his friend, a grin on his face as he quickly caught up. Ao'nung had never been that fast of a runner.

"Watch it!" A older clansmen yelled, pulling his mate out of the way of the two young men who were too busy acting like children than the adults they were. "Sorry!" Neteyam waved back in apology, not looking to where he was running when he collided with something, or rather someone.

Someone much shorter, much softer, much plumper than him, he noted before both were sent flying to the sea from the walk way, Neteyam briefly hearing his friends chortle of laughter from above the water.

He resurfaced and shook his braids out of his face, Ao'nung holding his stomach, pointing with a laugh as the other guys joined in. "Way to use your eyes Neteyam, I should take notes," One of the hunters mocked, Ao'nung reaching a hand out now to pull his friend up.

It was only when Neteyam turned to view who he'd run into that his breath caught in his throat, eyes wide as he saw the most beautiful woman.

She stood a few feet away onto a lower part of a marui she'd climbed onto. Half bent over to ring our her hair, her eyes trailing up his person as she stood up, her eyes shining in the sunlight like the sea behind her, painting the most gorgeous picture in his eyes. One he didn't wanna forget.

"You are probably the most lucky or unlucky bastard ever," Ao'nung mumbled, a grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around his star struck friend, the rest of the hunters now looking at the young woman.

Only she was not just any young woman, she was the daughter of the lead hunter in the clan, a true treasure to any young man who could gain her father's approval, which really meant her approval.

"Who, is that," Neteyam was starstruck as she girl looked him up and down, water trailing down her body to places he wanted to explore in a more, secluded, area with just the two of them.

"Why don't you go find out," Ao'nung pushed his friend in her direction, Neteyam tripping over his feet to walk properly at first but approached the young lady who watched him walk over, a small hint of amusement hidden in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there," Neteyam bowed his head in apology, somewhat guilty for having run into her, but also relishing the fact he had.

"Mmm, for someone who is such a wonderful hunter, you're not that good with watching where you're going," Her voice was firm but soft, almost playfully condescending the poor man who felt ready to drop to his knees.

"If I'd been watching, I never would've run into you, and I would've hated to miss that opportunity," He flashed a grin in her direction, the girl crossing her arms as she gave one back, "A shame this will be your only opprotunity for the day," she huffed, turning around and letting her hair hit him in the face before beginning to walk off.

"Wait, you don't have to run off, I didn't even get your name?" Neteyam called out to her, watching as she stopped only a few feet away, turning to look over her shoulder, "I said you already used your opprotunity today, who knows what opprotunity you have tomorrow," she smirked, flashing her fangs before walking away, hips swaying just a little bit more than before.

"What a fine opprotunity indeed," Neteyam hummed, his eyes trailing after her body as she disappeared around the corner of Marui's.

[revelboo]

I know Space Crack Peepaw (TFP Megs) stole his human away while the world around them burned, just to goad Optimus out of hiding. But was there anything else (Outside of their lack of survival instincts.) that drew his attention to them in the moment?

It was just a wrong place, wrong time situation. Reader was unlucky enough to be seen by a vehicon talking to one of the kids and assumed to be an ally. Reader was actually fussing at Miko for returning a book after drawing in it (it was doodles of Bulkhead and Wheeljack) 18+

Broken Arrow Pt 16

TFP Megatron x Reader

• It had come down to his own possessiveness to convince him to find you a cover up so everyone doesn’t see “what’s his” and you don’t know where the poor Vehicons found you the silky blush colored robe, but it’s at least covering the important bits as you sit on the arms of his throne while he- mostly snarls and threatens his followers. He’d already seized one hapless Vehicon that had shot you a curious look and slung the poor guy across the room. Apparently getting some hadn’t done anything to improve his temper or people skills

• Optics narrowing as he sits through debriefing after debriefing, he curls his servos around you and pushes the robe off one shoulder to show off your harness, grinning when you pointedly tug it back into place. And he catches your leash to twist about a servo, gently tugging just to annoy you. “Have you ever tried being nice?” You ask, little hands grabbing the leash and pulling. “Instead of just an asshole?” And you’re aware of the nearest Vehicon sidling quickly out of reach at your words in case Megatron takes it out on him.

• “Nice is weakness, pet,” he growls, hooking a claw carefully under your chin to tip your face up toward him. Before dropping the servo between your thighs, splitting the front of your robe. Damn him! Squirming and trying to shove his servo away as he strokes against you. Baring those sharp denta in amusement. Face flushing when another of his commanders walks up with a datapad, the mech frowning slightly as you wiggle trying to close your thighs and push his servo away, and the mech’s wings flick before he begins droning on about a potential energon mine. Startling when you gasp on a moan and hide your face against Megatron’s hand. “Problem, Starscream?” Megatron asks, propping his chin up in his other fist like he’s not doing anything, servo still petting.

• Expression daring Starscream to question him as he plays with you, listening the Seeker stutter, wings flicking as he tries to look everywhere but at you, as you make a strangled noise and rock yourself against his servo. Giving in. And he’s struggling not to laugh as Starscream all but runs off the bridge. “I like it better when you were threatening them,” you gasp. And he’s taking a savage delight in punishing you for denying him. The fact that it probably just scarred Starscream for life making it even better. Let them see you and know you’re his. Reminding you of it doesn’t hurt either, because it’s driving him crazy that you’d not surrendered fully to him. Can’t stop thinking about it.

• Instead of just making the other giant aliens and you really uncomfortable. And he won’t let up, stroking you lazily as the next poor bastard to traumatize walks up. Clinging to his servo as the giant spots you, his one optic flicking down to you as you can’t help but squirm and his antenna flatten back. At this rate, he might as well just fuck you on his throne and make everyone watch. Because as soon as he’s mass displaced again, you’re going to slap the heck out of him for this.

Previous

[blueteller]

Cale, using Instant in front of Raon for the first time: "Raon, don't be like me." Raon now, bleeding from his mouth: "What was that, Human? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of you sacrificing yourself again"

Tcf part 2 chapter 325

RAON PROTECTED HIM!!! RAON PROTECTED HIS BIG BROTHER!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[honeyflashbang]

My theory on Sampo's true identity...

(Minor Spoilers for 2.4) (also, I’m no expert in… anything, really, but these are just my ramblings).

So, this has probably been mentioned before, but I have a teeny-tiny theory about Sampo’s true identity, and it relates to Finnish mythology.

So, “Sampo” in and of itself doesn’t have a set meaning, but it has its roots in Finnish mythology, particularly the “Kalevala” which is a 19th-century compilation of epic poetry. In it, a blacksmith god by the name of Seppo Ilmari(nen) forges the mythical device known as “The Sampo”. It’s never quite explained what The Sampo really is; some versions depict it as a mill, others as a cornucopia from which bountiful creations flow from, and some even have it as being a world tree/world pillar, so what The Sampo really is, isn’t entirely known. But, what is known, is that it brought riches and good fortune to its holder (again, the same as the cornucopia from Greek mythology).

But why am I mentioning all of this? Why bring up the Kalevala? It could be that Hoyo just chose the name “Sampo” for some flavour—befitting of a character who magics up relics from seemingly thin air and is trying to create riches—and yeah, it’s a possibility…

Until I saw these two screenshots from the 2.4 story:

You know what this means, right? 

Kalevala is a real planet in Hoyo’s Star Rail universe, and I find it awfully coincidental that they would use this name for a planet and not have it related to a certain blue haired conman, especially since The Sampo is such a pivotal element in the plot of the Kalevala—there is no way this is a coincidence (I refuse to believe it).

This leads me to believe that Kalevala is Sampo’s real home world, and is where he originates from.

Now, this is all well and good, knowing where “The Sampo” hails from, but I want to focus on its creator—Seppo Ilmari(nen)—and his parallels to a certain blue haired conman. For one, Ilmari(nen)’s name is quite interesting as the ‘Ilma’ part is Finnish for ‘air’ or ‘weather’, and as we know, Sampo’s element is that of ‘wind’ (And also the fact that Ilmari(nen) is credited as “Godlike smith-hero and creator of the sky”. I could go into a whole spiel about Ilmari(nen) and Qlipoth swinging their giant hammers in tandem together for all eternity (Go Sampard! Geppie is Qlipoth's true heir, you can't convince me otherwise!), but that’s for another conspiracy theory lol).

So, ‘Ilma’ means ‘air’, and Sampo wields ‘wind’.

Cool.

If the parallels ended there, I’d just say I was being crazy… but there’s more.

Sampo’s 4th (and arguably best) eidolon is called “The Deeper the Love, the Stronger the Hate”. Two out of his six eidolons refer to 'love', whilst the other 4 are to do with wealth and riches. The wealth and richest aspect leans towards The Sampo of mythology, whilst the ‘love’ aspect, well…

According to the story, Seppo Ilmari(nen) is the unluckiest bastard alive when it comes to love. Like, seriously. His whole storyline is that he can’t find a woman. For one, Seppo Ilmari(nen) is double crossed by his so called buddy, Väinämöinen, into creating The Sampo for the evil witch Louhi of Pohjola in exchange for her daughter’s hand in marriage (which, Ilmari didn’t even want in the beginning), but when the poor guy actually sees the daughter and falls in love with her (and subsequently creates the Sampo—after failing miserably a number of times, mind you—he creates a crossbow, a boat, a cow(wtf?) and a plough, all which are somehow either evil or flawed), she ups and just leaves him hanging! (in the original runes, however, he is successful in gaining a wife, as his ‘unlucky in love’ spiel was later added by Lönnrot in compiling the Kalevala).

As with any mythology and re-telling of it, there’s so many different versions of the same event. In “The Maiden of the North”, a 1898 opera written by Oskar Merikanto, both Ilmarinen and Väinämöinen compete for the chance to marry Louhi’s daughter, who is then mentioned as being “Ilmari(nen)’s first wife” and who later dies to Kullervo’s curse (apparently she was a bit of a bitch to Kullervo by taunting and tormenting the poor boy—who was a child slave mind you!). Distraught, Ilmari(nen) forges himself a wife of gold and silver, but he finds her to be too cold and callous—he forges her out of love but only finds hate—so he tries to gift her to Väinämöinen (who doesn’t want her either, lol), and suggests he cast her back into the furnace and to “forge from her a thousand trinkets”.

Here’s the accompanying poem:

Never, youths, however wretched,

Nor in future, upgrown heroes,

Whether you have large possessions,

Or are poor in your possessions,

In the course of all your lifetime,

While the golden moon is shining,

May you woo a golden woman,

Or distress yourselves for silver,

For the gleam of gold is freezing,

Only frost is breathed by silver.

It is apparently your standard Aesop’s fable of “money can’t buy happiness”, which is something else I see in our dear old Sampo Koski. During our time in Belobog, we see how different he acts with the Underworld and Overworlders. To the poor, he actually seems approachable (albeit a bit of a nuisance), going so far as to help the Underworlders (an example being the questline “Survival Wisdom” in which he and Peak set up a business together renting out his tools to help the miners make a decent wage to support their families). In contrast, we actively see Sampo being very hostile towards the Overworlders, scamming them and putting the nobles in their place or setting them up to be caught by the Silvermane Guards (an example being during the museum questline where you discover his identity as “Mr Cold Feet”. Sampo clearly states to who he thinks is his mark that ‘we are not friends’ in a very hostile manner, something which we’ve not seen from Sampo before as he is usually quite amicable). 

For all Sampo’s showboating and flashing his money around, he helps where it counts. He wants to make money, sure, but not at the detriment of the people who need it the most, only to those with excess.

Anyway, back to him being unlucky in love…

In another rune entitled “Kosinta”, Ilmari(nen) goes on a journey to compete for Hiisi’s daughter, and wins by completing various feats, one of them being “ploughing a field full of snakes”:

And as we know, Sampo is very heavy on the snake motifs (the head of the snake on his shoulders, the spine wrapped around him, the daggers are its fangs…etc.)

So that’s another interesting link between Seppo Ilmari(nen) and Sampo Koski.

So, why have I gone on this long winded tangent about Seppo Ilmari(nen) when I’m supposed to be talking about Sampo Koski?

Well, that’s because I think Sampo Koski’s real name is (or a variant of) Ilmarinen.

In the Hoyo universe, I believe Ilmarinen came from the planet Kalevala and ‘created’ the persona of Sampo Koski, much like how in the Kalevala, Seppo Ilmari(nen) forged The Sampo.

As I’ve listed above, there’s so many links between the two:

“Air” as a name and “Wind” as an element.

Seppo Ilmari(nen) ploughed a field of snakes to win Hiisi’s daughter’s hand in marriage, whilst Sampo Koski relies heavily on snake motifs for his attire.

Sampo’s two eidolon names that relate to love (which are completely different from the other 4 eidolon names), whilst Seppo Ilmari(nen) is known to be unlucky in love.

I’m pretty damn sure Sampo creates his own bombs and tinkers with the old relics to bring them back to life, whereas Seppo Ilmari(nen) is a smith who created the dome of the sky! They’re both artificers!

And now the revelation that a planet by the name of “Kalevala” exists is no mere coincidence.

So, either Sampo is Ilmari(nen) - or! - Sampo is a puppet (like Herta) created by someone called Ilmari(nen). 

(I would love if his 5* version is him with this name).

Right, I’m finished rambling. Gonna go huff some copium...

[blueteller]

Cale @ Cale be like:

(In case you don't get it due to lack of context, hopefully this clip from Justice League clears it up for you lol)