#polyamory humor

[gornwen]

Polyamory Problems: Holiday Edition

And then, all of a sudden, you have five office holiday parties to attend over ten days.

[flavoracle]

I definitely want to get one of these swords someday.

Pretty sure @zoyogrl also wants to get what’s in this video, but she doesn’t care so much about the sword 😘🤣

[polyamzeal]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[retrogamingblog2]

[aventurineswife]

Veritas, Kaveh, and reader are having a bath together. Kaveh and Reader are being their goofy selves as usual while annoying the heck out of Veritas (but he secretly enjoys the chaos). Bonus points if Veritas had rubber ducks that resemble Kaveh and reader <3

Our Little Family of Ducks

Summary: A relaxing bath between Kaveh, Veritas Ratio, and you turn into a playful and chaotic bonding moment. While Kaveh and you indulge in goofiness, Ratio tries (and fails) to maintain his composed demeanor. The discovery of personalized rubber ducks adds to the hilarity, revealing Ratio's secret fondness for his partners. Amid splashes, laughter, and teasing, the trio revels in your unconventional yet loving relationship.

Tags: Kaveh x Reader x Ratio, Polyamory, Domestic Fluff, Humor, Lighthearted Chaos, Found Family Vibes, Kaveh Being Kaveh, Ratio Being Secretly Soft, Rubber Ducks Shenanigans.

A/N: I love these sillies 🤭🫶

The steamy warmth of the bath filled the room, soft tendrils of mist curling around the ornate tiles. Kaveh had insisted on setting up this "relaxation session," and it had taken no small amount of persuasion to convince Ratio to join. The architect and their mutual partner, you, had promised an evening of serenity—though, true to form, serenity was far from what had unfolded.

Kaveh was lounging on one side of the tub, his long hair tied loosely to avoid the water. His eyes glinted with amusement as he flicked droplets of water your way. “And then she said, ‘But why would I need a spiral staircase if I’m afraid of heights?’ Can you believe it? A whole architectural masterpiece undone because she refused to go above two floors!”

You snorted, splashing back in retaliation. “Honestly, Kaveh, maybe she was onto something. Not everyone’s built for grandeur.”

Veritas, perched at the other end of the tub with his back against the smooth, cool tiles, let out a low sigh. His hair clung damply to his forehead, the rings of his pupils narrowing as he surveyed the two of you with a mix of exasperation and reluctant affection. “If you two came here to ridicule the art of storytelling and defy the very essence of peace, then you’re succeeding marvelously.”

“Oh, lighten up, Ratio,” Kaveh teased, sending a small wave of water in his direction. “This is supposed to be fun.”

Before Veritas could retort, you leaned forward, your eyes lighting up mischievously. “Speaking of fun… Ratio, what’s with these?” You plucked up one of the small, colorful rubber ducks floating nearby. Its violet paint glistened in the water, and its eyes bore an uncanny resemblance to Veritas himself.

Kaveh burst out laughing, quickly snatching another from the water. This one, unmistakably styled after you, had a little painted scarf and a tiny replica of your favorite accessory. “No way! You actually got ducks made for us?”

“Correction,” Veritas interjected, his voice cool but laced with a hint of defensiveness, “I designed them. A calculated experiment to observe the cognitive amusement derived from personalized objects in shared recreational spaces.”

You and Kaveh stared at him for a beat before doubling over with laughter. “You made them because you like us, you big softy!” you said, clutching the duck close to your chest.

“I think it’s sweet,” Kaveh added, his grin widening as he lined the ducks up on the edge of the tub. “Now we’ve got our own little family. Look, here’s me, here’s you, and—” He paused dramatically, fishing out a third duck. It was golden with faint streaks of red, and its feathers curled in intricate patterns, mirroring Kaveh’s elegant cape. “Oh, Ratio, this one’s perfect. You even got the hair right!”

Veritas pinched the bridge of his nose, though a faint smirk betrayed his amusement. “If I’d known this would devolve into childlike antics, I would have stayed in my lab.”

“Liar,” you shot back, scooting closer to him and setting your duck on his chest. “You love this. Admit it.”

“I do not—”

“Oh, you definitely do,” Kaveh chimed in, settling on Veritas’ other side. “Look at that face. That’s the face of a man trying not to smile.”

“I hate both of you,” Veritas muttered, but the corners of his lips betrayed him as they curved upward.

“Love you too,” you and Kaveh said in unison, leaning in to kiss each of his cheeks. The warmth in the room wasn’t just from the bath anymore—it radiated from the three of you, tangled together in your chaotic but undeniably loving bond.

“Now,” Kaveh said, grabbing a duck and splashing Veritas playfully, “let’s see who wins the Great Duck Battle!”

Veritas sighed, watching as water and laughter filled the room. His calm demeanor broke as he picked up his own duck and joined in the fray. Perhaps, just this once, chaos wasn’t such a bad thing.

[crimeronan]

this is the funniest cutest and stupidest polyamory sketch of all time i am Obsessed. cant believe they made a video of every extended polycule i've ever shipped.

then when it's over i scroll down to the comments and it's just:

like yeah. yeah i know. i'm the polyamory faq who loves this dumbass video

[hitoshi-yuuto]

You know what is my favorite Rare ship haikyuu? It's haikyuu polycule.

I have no shame.

Because it's way too much fun not to love it.

If you don't like the idea, move on, if you're weird, please keep going

Everyone is dating everyone, some platonically others romantically and certain sexually.

It obviously starts with karasuno, the third years and the second years are not official but it's shady, and finally the first years arrive and they are the first to date, so the others realize that it is possible and start to go out by year, until Asahi and Noya and there the limits are broken.

The next team is obviously Nekoma by Kenma/Hinata, Kuroo/Tsuki, Kuroo/Daichi, Yaku/Noya, Yaku/Suga and others

Fukurodani follows with obviously Kuroo/Bokuto and Akaashi/Kenma

Dateko with Aone/Asahi and I can see Futakuchi/Tsukishima

(I specify that it's not because I only say some names that they are the only ones to join the polyculus)

So the next ones are Goshiki, Kogane, With Hinata and Tsukishima from the camp

And we probably gain so guys of Nohebi and Mika from Kuroo/Daishou

In the national we can get Atsumu, Hoshiumi and Hirugami, and thanks to Atsumu, we can get inarizaki too (Atsumu and Osamu obviously don't go out with each other 🤢 but the two of them go out with Suna or Aran or Kita or Akaashi anyway you understand)

For the third year of the second year we can have Shirabu and Kawanishi from Goshiki, and Yahaba an Kyoutani, because Shirabu and Yahaba totally had sexual tension between them in their third year (learning from their senpai)

Finally we can have Semi and Yamagata

And for the rest of them probably have to wait for the time skip

Ushijima and Tendou from Kageyama and Hoshiumi

Komori from Suna

Sakusa obviously come from Atsumu and Bokuto (He and Komori do not date 🙂)

Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Makki and Matsun were dating and got here from Hinata (cough Brazil cough)

Andi finally Kunimi and Kindachi from Kageyama when they reconcile

Now just imagine the chaos about no one saying who they're dating and the world is losing their minds trying to figure out who's dating whom.

They have a big gc call Volleyball polycule

I wrote that at 4:47

Sorry for the mistakes English is not my first language

[tommonottoday]

Cooking be like:

"LISA, I... I LOVE YOU."

Happily ever after.

[agrebel18]

just realized I have some alterous feelings for 3 of my irl friends currently, and I just remembered that one of them is non binary, another is a girl, and the other is a boy, and I AM SO NOT beating the polyamorous bisexual stereotypes, for fucks sake 😭

[alpaca-clouds]

Demonic Dating 101 [Spite/Rook/Lucanis Fluff]

I promised to try this, and so I am trying. A story from Spite's POV. Fluff and humor. A lot of people said they wanted to read this. So... Uhm, have fun.

Demonic Dating 101

Fandom: Dragon Age - The Veilguard Shipping: Spite/Rook/Lucanis Genre: Fluff & Humor

Lucanis lost a bet. Now Spite gets to have a date with Rook. Because Spite likes Rook, too.

[sakumon16]

A rather sweet and quite amusing collection of oneshots involving Marinette dealing with the many teens who have the hots for her. Notable for being the only nice Lila (and one of only three nice Chloe) stories I’ve ever seen.

And as usual, I don’t own this. All credit goes to the creators.

If anyone wants to see something, just name a fandom and I’ll do my best to find a good story.

[polyamzeal]

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[retrogamingblog2]

[aventurineswife]

A working out date with Veritas and Kaveh (and other characters you see fit since it's a very open scenario). Bonus points if reader started flirting with them like a gym creep and asking for their numbers (as a joke, obviously, since they're already in an established relationship).

Sweat, Smiles, and Surprises

Summary: You, Kaveh, and Dr. Ratio share a gym date filled with banter and flirtation. When you jokingly flirt with both of them, asking for their numbers, the two respond with teasing and charm, all while showcasing their distinct personalities. As the workout progresses, the chemistry between the trio grows, blending Kaveh’s passion and Ratio’s intellect, leading to a perfect moment of connection and camaraderie.

Tags: Kaveh x Reader x Ratio, Fluff, Humor, Lighthearted Banter, Gym Workout Established Relationship, Playful Flirting.

Warnings: Mild teasing and playful flirtation

The gym was bustling with energy, the sound of weights clanking and people motivating each other filling the air. Kaveh, who had long since gotten over his initial hesitation about working out, was using the time as a way to clear his mind from the burdens of his architecture projects. His sharp eyes focused intently on his workout, his toned arms flexing with each movement, his elegant cape tucked to the side to avoid any interference.

You were there too, stretching nearby and trying to get in a quick warm-up before your workout. You couldn’t help but sneak glances at Kaveh, his elegance and strength making him stand out even in a gym. You’d been in a committed relationship with both him and Ratio for a while now, and each day with them felt like an adventure of its own.

Today, though, was different. Today, you were feeling particularly bold.

"Hey, Kaveh," you called over, letting your voice drop to a playful tone. "You’ve got such great form. Mind if I get your number?"

Kaveh stopped mid-rep, looking at you with a slightly furrowed brow before breaking into an amused smirk. "You’re already in a relationship with me," he teased, shaking his head. "I’m not sure you need to flirt to get my number."

You laughed, your voice light. "Well, it’s just a joke, Kaveh. But, you know… maybe I want to make sure you’re always on speed dial, in case I need some architectural advice."

At the same time, you noticed Ratio, clad in his signature black vest and striking arm braces, walking toward you both. His hair gleamed in the light, and his confident, sharp stride exuded intellect. His eyes locked on you, and for a moment, you could see a flash of curiosity behind his usual assured demeanor.

"Well, well," Ratio said, his voice smooth and self-assured. "It seems like I’ve walked in at just the right moment. I see Kaveh’s clearly doing fine with his workout. But, I must say, I find myself intrigued by your flirtation, [Name]. Would you perhaps be interested in my number as well?"

You grinned, tossing the playful banter right back at him. "Of course, Ratio. I’m just here to make sure all the smart, handsome men are well-equipped for their workouts. Maybe you could give me some pointers on how to properly engage my brain while I work out. After all, a good mind can really elevate a workout, don’t you think?"

Kaveh laughed, rolling his eyes. "You two are impossible."

But there was no mistaking the playful warmth in his voice. Despite his occasional teasing, Kaveh enjoyed moments like these—small, carefree exchanges that made him forget the weight of the world he often carried on his shoulders.

Ratio, on the other hand, chuckled softly, clearly enjoying the interaction. "It’s all in good fun, Kaveh. But I do think [Name] has a point. A sharp mind is important in any endeavor, including physical strength." He crossed his arms, leaning slightly to one side, as if trying to strike a pose. "Perhaps you could benefit from a few of my mental exercises while working out. They can help optimize your focus."

You raised an eyebrow. "Mental exercises while working out? Sounds like an interesting challenge. But let’s be clear: I’m not actually flirting for real. I’m just enjoying the attention of two charming geniuses," you added, glancing between Kaveh and Ratio.

Kaveh’s face softened at that, the playful teasing making way for the affection he felt for you. "Well, if you wanted attention, I’d say you’ve gotten it in spades," he said, offering a wink. "But let’s see if we can turn that attention into a solid workout."

Ratio, too, relaxed slightly, a rare smile curling on his lips. "I must admit, you’ve piqued my interest with your challenge. Fine, let’s turn this into a proper session then. I will show you both how true intellect can enhance even the simplest of exercises." His voice was laced with amusement, but there was no mistaking the challenge in his tone.

The three of you moved to a nearby set of weights, with Ratio giving pointers on posture and breathing while Kaveh eagerly jumped in, showing off his impressive form. You couldn’t help but laugh at how different yet complementary they were—Kaveh’s passion and energy contrasting sharply with Ratio’s quiet, focused intensity. But despite these differences, the way they worked together was almost seamless, their personalities harmonizing in an unexpectedly beautiful way.

As the workout wore on, you felt your muscles burn and your heart race. But more than that, you felt something even deeper—a sense of peace, a sense of belonging, as if all the parts of your life, both chaotic and calm, had come together in the most perfect way.

By the end of the session, the three of you were seated on a nearby bench, catching your breath, sweat glistening on your skin. Ratio wiped his forehead with a towel, his hair sticking slightly to his face. Kaveh leaned back with a content sigh, his arms behind his head.

"So," you began, still catching your breath, "we’re not really exchanging numbers, right?"

Kaveh chuckled softly. "You’ll always have mine, no need for a gym joke to get it."

Ratio gave a small smirk. "And you’ll always have mine as well, though I must say, I’m more partial to intellectual conversations than flirtations. But for you, [Name], I’ll make an exception." He looked at you with a slight gleam in his eye.

"Are you both always this charming?" you teased, leaning back into the bench.

Kaveh gave a lazy grin. "Only when we’re together."

The warmth between the three of you was undeniable, and though the gym session was over, the sense of connection lingered. Even if you were just joking about the numbers, it was clear that, in your little trio, there was something far stronger than any flirtation: trust, understanding, and a bond that could withstand anything.

As the gym began to empty out, the three of you stayed for a few more minutes, enjoying the peaceful moment of camaraderie before the world outside called you back to reality. It was, in every sense, the perfect workout date.