#polyamory problems

[catboynutsack]

My therapist has started referring to my partners and I as a Threesome during our sessions I'm gonna lose it

[tangenkanashrine]

How they got married [Crack version]

*At a cute restaurant*

Tanjiro: Guys.... I need to ask you something. *gets down on the ground on one knee*

Kanao: Hm?

Genya: *Was just about to finish his food* Yeah Tanjiro?

Tanjiro: *Pulls out ring box with two rings* Will you both marry me? :<

*Awkward silence, everyone is now watching them*

Genya: *puts his food down* I can't, I'm sorry...

Tanjiro: Oh I understand- I'm sorry for-

Genya: Because I need you two... to marry me. *gets down on one knee and pulls out with two rings*

*Everyone gasps in shock, waiting for the girl's answer. Tanjiro is shocked, Kanao is even more shocked.*

Kanao: No I can't... I'm guys but....

Kanao: *Gets down on one knee and holds up a box with two rings inside*

*Everyone in the restaurant is flipping and screaming.*

[polyamorouspunk]

Is anyone else just:

[gornwen]

Polyamory Problems: Holiday Edition

And then, all of a sudden, you have five office holiday parties to attend over ten days.

[kimchicuddles]

Triangulation Couples Counseling!!!! (is generally a bad idea for everyone involved)... Thank you so much for supporting my work! PATREON patreon.com/kimchicuddles COMMISSIONS TikvaWolf.com/services BOOKS TikvaWolf.com/books DONATE venmo.com/tikvawolf

[acelessthan3]

So when introducing metas for the first time, is it like cats? Should I lock the wife in the bathroom while I have the new guy over so they can smell each other through the door first?

[pommedepersephone]

I have zero regrets for the glorious results of a misspent youth. I had FUN being a cocky little bitch and sidling up to people at bars and saying shit like "So, we can share a drink and talk philosophy or you can come on the floor and show me why I should take you home." I learned a lot about myself, and I learned about what I wanted in a relationship, and I learned how to be IN a relationship.

But now... I have kids. And a primary partner. My time is precious and my actions have repercussions for others. Besides, I don't WANT to be picking up randos and I don't have the tolerance for bad sex that came with my wild ways. Dating apps make it easier in some ways, but the point is that building connections worth having takes TIME and patience is NOT one of my virtues.

I just need to whine pitifully into the void.

[polyamorousmisanthrope]

A swing and a miss for Dear Abby today.

She assumes an open marriage will "Soon be over" and she was "pressured into it."

Bless...

[discoveringpolyamory]

A Polyamory Red Flag everyone needs to look out for, especially when you're are starting out, is when it favours one person over all others. 

The problem with One-Sided Polyamory is that it can come about through several avenues, some more toxic than others. It can come from selfishness, when someone simply doesn't care about fairness in their relationships. There's toxic monogamy and partners who insist on maintaining a sense of hierarchy. And then there's also emotional blindness, when a partner simply can't see beyond their own needs. 

But it doesn't matter why or how polyamory can become one-sided. All that matters is that it's toxic, and seeing it develop is a Polyamory Red Flag. 

[dinosaursgowoof]

Being polyamorous but too introverted to do anything about it kills me inside sometimes

[polyanarchist]

What does oppression mean to people, that they think polyamory isn't oppressed? Our family courts, schools, medical systems and insurance, housing stock and rental procedures, public welfare programs, immigration laws, and so much more, are built to accommodate monogamous pairings only. Failure to conform can result in not only social rejection but loss of jobs, denial of housing, loss of custody of children, geographic division of families, being kicked off of welfare, being turned away from resources for survivors of sexual assault or intimate partner violence, and then at the end of it all being told that it's your fault for having a sinful lifestyle.

As I was kinda spit balling last night, I find the "you don't come out as polyamorous" and "you're not oppressed for being polyamorous" such weird trains of thought. We definitely come out as poly. And maybe polyamory isnt "oppressed" but being that it goes against the societal norm and is often misrepresented in media or portrayed as bad dumb and cringe by every popular person online, it's certainly not always easy to be poly. Idk these are #thoughts and not the spinning of some big text about oppression or whatever but it's like. Idk feels like the world shits on polyamory far more than supports it.

[polyamorousmood]

"How do you deal with jealousy?" Like, a lot of ways, but also sometimes you just feel it and move on.

I feel jealous when a street cat goes up to someone else instead of me, doesn't mean I carry around cat treats in an effort to prevent random cats from ever picking someone else 🤷‍♀️

[polyamorouspunk]

By the way, no one wants to hear “as long as everyone involved is consenting” tacked on to the end of “polyamorous acceptance”.

Do you tack on “as long as everyone involved is consenting” when talking about marriage? When talking about same-sex couples? When talking about interracial relationships? No? Okay then don’t tack it on when talking about polyamory. It’s not polyamory if “not everyone involved is consenting”. So you don’t need to tack it on.

[gornwen]

The worst part of polyamory is you always have too many people for a legal trivia team.

[embervoices]

I mean, it is and it's not? If anything, polyamory seems to defuse the situation, because it's not like we're taking those other names as signs our sweeties are secretly sleeping with other people, eh?

I have literally never had that problem in bed regardless, but also, I just have never been offended by being mistakenly called by a metamour or ex's name, even when I was monogamous (which at least made it more memorable!)

Reciprocally, my sweeties aren't generally upset when I've accidentally called them by another's name, except maybe when the name swapped is for the wrong gender or generation as well as the wrong person, and even then, if it's a funny swap, that's usually an override.

My own name was repeatedly swapped for my lover's cat, and I couldn't even blame them; "Ember" and "Cinder" are, after all, synonyms!

One particularly amusing incident of name swapping involved me calling out to my boyfriend:

"David I mean, DAVID!"

We both laughed because he immediately knew what had happened: The first "David" referred to my younger brother. My brain caught that it was the wrong person before it caught that it was the right name! 😂

Maintaining a perfect "not deadnaming people" record because I genuinely cannot remember what you were called before.

[sporesgalaxy]

listen man the deadpool movies have this annoying running theme that he is allowed to act gay and shit for laughs and a few heartfelt storybeats but the gay attraction is always secondary in serious narrative weight to his girl love interest Vanessa (problem because this is a narrative and choices like that send a message that gay shit is just a joke or temporary and only het romance can be really serious or "real"). And if that wasnt annoying enough, the storybeats about Wade and Vanessa's relationship mostly focus on Wade's side of things and Vanessa is usually largely absent due to being kidnapped or dead or some shit! Plus, to add insult to injury the whole "het pairing prioritization" thing irt story weight of the romantic commitment, literally doesn't even have to be a problem. Its completely in character and never explicitly disproven that Wade and Vanessa are in an open relationship to some degree. You could just make it a fucking polycule!! and no movie ending has been more conducive to a Wade/Vanessa/Wade's buddy he flirts with polycule than the end of DP&W. But the movie didn't have the balls to do that. and Im not really INTO the fan stuff so maybe I missed it but during the time I looked at fanworks for that movie with any frequency, all the postcanon Wade and Logan content I saw acted like Vanessa didn't exist. Like whatever man . WHATEVER!!!! Im just saying the throuple dynamic would be fun too. if you even care.