#polyamorous myths
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wowa-bublord · 6 months ago
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Demiromantic Zack... i think when he's younger, he has a tendency to go on a date with anyone who asks him out because he thinks he's supposed to, and mixes up his feelings of being flattered with feelings of reciprocation.
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sachyriel · 9 months ago
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Polycules has the strength of 10 men and 8 women, he can feed medicine to the largest of big cats by force and once tricked Cerberus into taking his meds armed with only his wits and a comically-large jar of peanut butter! Unable to drive because he's an ancient Greek hero, he is excellent with maps and never gets lost (unless it's an adventure, and you're SUPPOSED to get lost). With limitless reserves of consideration and time management skills he can make appointments for you and you will see them through because he can literally carry your ass to the dentist (see how strong he is), and his aftercare is top notch since he can carry you to the bathroom after leaving your legs too weak to stand (he has to go too so be quick).
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uh oh this pronunciation of polycules is gonna stick in my head for a long while
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sakur4ii · 3 months ago
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Rooted Connections
Charles Xavier x Erik Lensherr x Reader
the gender of the reader is not specified // based on X-Men Days Of Future Past, but the scenarios are made up
Summary: You are blind, and you control the earth (you also listen to the plants) you are like a mutant version of Toph Beifong basically. Also you and Charles bullying at Erik for not noticing the obvious.
maybe part 2 in the future? let me know if there are any mistakes because English is not my first language.
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Charles "I'm not good with violence" Xavier
"‘Can I know where we are going?’ Charles asks, irritated by the mystery Logan is adding to the situation.
‘You'll see,’ the man replies with a half-amused smile.
In the future, you were a legend, a myth. The original X-Men never stopped talking about you when Logan arrived at the mansion, and over time, their respect for you and your amazing deeds only grew. Something Logan struggled to learn about you was that you had a romantic relationship with both Charles and Erik. He didn’t understand it until Ororo explained that it was a polyamorous relationship, which helped him understand much more about the Professor and his nemesis.
In the horrible future from which they sent him, Erik and Charles ordered him to force a reunion between the two of them and your first meeting with them.
Part of him found the situation amusing, feeling like Cupid but with bone claws instead of a bow and arrows. Another part of him hoped that this forced encounter wouldn’t jeopardize the relationship destined to be in the future.
Once they arrived at what was supposed to be your home, Peter was the first to get out of the car, followed by Hank, Charles, and Logan.
They were in a place slightly secluded from the city, full of forests, dirt, plants, and flowers. There was only one house in sight, well-maintained and decorated on the outside; Charles gave you credit for that.
They walked up the short driveway, and Logan didn’t even need to knock for the door to open by itself. Logan smiled amusedly while the other three men glanced at each other in confusion.
‘Excuse me,’ Logan murmured, entering the house, closely followed by the others.
The house was cozy and minimalist, with the few pieces of furniture placed against the walls, giving the appearance of more space than there actually was. They entered what seemed to be the kitchen, where there you were.
You had your back to them as you did something on the kitchen counter. Judging by the sound, you were preparing coffee.
‘Coffee or tea?’ you asked disinterestedly, creating another round of confused glances.
‘Coffee,’ Peter answered with a smile. Logan sat down at the table on the side of the kitchen, which had three chairs.
‘I suppose the furry guy and the one who's supposed to have paralyzed legs are more into tea,’ you commented as you set the water to boil. You pointed to the fridge next to you. ‘There's beer in the fridge.’
Logan raised his eyebrows at the two completely confused men in the kitchen doorway as he went for the said beer, while Peter took a seat.
Hank and Charles didn’t understand anything. Were you a telepath? Hank was in his human form, and Charles was full of the serum to be able to walk, so… how?
Logan returned to his seat, and that’s when you finally turned around, leaving them all (except for Wolverine) surprised.
Although you usually wore sunglasses, you had taken them off when your plants alerted you that someone from the future was coming to see you. Your eyes were white, lost.
You put your hands in your pockets and leaned your back against the counter. ‘I suppose they want you to help them get Magneto out of the Pentagon.’
‘She’s good,’ Peter murmured in amusement.
‘Are you a telepath?’ Charles finally asked, crossing his arms.
‘No,’ you smiled at him.
‘Then?’ Hank asked this time, while Logan just watched the interaction like it was a soap opera, sipping his beer.
‘I control anything to do with the earth, I understand plants, and I see through the roots of trees, although I can also sense all your movements through the ground we’re standing on,’ you explained, serving the tea and coffee.
You heard Peter whisper ‘cool’ as you handed out the cups.
‘Your plants told you,’ the professor concluded, taking a sip of tea, which happened to be his favorite flavor. You nodded.
‘People have told me you have good reflexes; is that true?’ Wolverine’s question made you smile slyly.
‘Of course it is.’
‘Then catch this,’ he challenged, tossing the empty beer bottle at you.
Hank and Charles looked horrified as he threw the bottle, while Peter was ready to intervene if necessary.
Through your bare feet, you could feel how almost everyone’s heart skipped a beat, but you caught the bottle in mid-air as if it was nothing. The collective sigh of relief that followed made you laugh.
‘So, are we going or what?’
-------------------------------------------------------
After successfully getting Magneto out of prison, you had to sit with Charles and Erik on the plane, according to Logan’s poor excuse, ‘So they don’t kill each other.’
After a tense conversation between the two, during which you just sat in silence, Erik spoke up.
‘Why are you barefoot?’
‘So I can see you'
Erik frowned in confusion, while Charles barely suppressed an amused smile. Erik still hadn’t realized that you were blind, since you were wearing sunglasses, and you hadn’t given any indication that you were. Of course, Erik found it odd that you were always looking straight ahead and not making eye contact with anyone, but he assumed you might be shy.
‘Am I missing an inside joke?’ Erik asked again, noticing his old friend’s poorly concealed smile.
‘No, nothing, don’t think too much about it,’ Charles replied, trying to hold back a laugh but failing, causing you to smile in amusement.
Magneto frowned in confusion, feeling like he was missing something, and he had to admit it made him a bit jealous. He finally reunites with Charles, the man he loves, and Charles has inside jokes with someone he’s never seen before and, as far as he knows, only met today.
‘Explain to me, what’s so funny?’ he asked, hiding his growing irritation, raising an eyebrow as he looked between the two of you, who were still stifling your laughter. Erik couldn’t help but notice that you were still looking straight ahead. ‘Is it something related to her mutation? I thought Y/N only controlled the earth and talked to plants?
‘You can do a lot with the earth, isn’t that right, Charles?’ you replied with amusement. The man in the wheelchair, who miraculously walks, rested his head on his hand, trying to hide his smile as he nodded. ‘Yes, yes, of course,’ he said.
Erik felt his irritation growing, along with his heart racing at the melodic sound of your shared, complicit laughter.
The gears in Magneto’s mind started to turn as he realized.
You were wearing sunglasses that you hadn’t taken off, even on the plane, always looking straight ahead, not having looked at either him or Charles this whole time, and you said you were barefoot so you could see him.
‘You’re blind,’ he concluded, rubbing his forehead in a mix of irritation and embarrassment, earning loud laughs from both of you that attracted curious and annoyed looks from Hank and Logan.
‘Took you long enough,’ you said, patting him on the shoulder in consolation.
‘Something I don’t understand is, how do you “see” through your feet now if we’re on a plane?’ Charles asked once his laughter had calmed down.
‘The earth has metal particles, and metal has earth particles, I suppose,’ you answered.
‘Does that mean you can control metal?’ Erik now asked with curiosity.
‘Sometimes, although it’s not easy at all, it requires a lot of effort,’ you replied, shrugging.
‘Interesting,’ they said in unison, glancing at each other and smiling as if they were thinking the same thing.
‘I sense tension… are you two going to kiss?’ you joked.
The two men rolled their eyes and smiled at each other, definitely thinking the same thing, while you felt confused because they didn’t give you any response."
Pt.2
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fakesimp · 1 year ago
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Fiery Love
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Warning !
Vox Akuma x Reader x Shu Yamino ; The use of Vox's 2.0 and 3.0 fit , Shu's 2.0 fit ; Unestablished Polyamorous Relationship
The world I created in this fic is not canon ! The world takes in the Past timeline !
A/n !
I see some wanted to see me write for these two again ! Yes again, I have wrote about these two in Polyamorous relationship before !
If you're new here, This is the first fic i wrote about them !
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One who's afraid of his own sorcery, never trusting his own powers. One who never talked about himself, also avoiding talking about his past.
There is some rumors going around the village said that if you ever went into the forbidden forest, you'll be eaten alive by demons, yokais, evil spirits.
Some said there is a Demon that have inhumane height, big wings, accompanied with a Sorcerer that have a high intelligence of dark magic. Some said that they're both are always together, if you see one, the other is definitely nearby.
And you were quite curious of that, some said it's a myth, some said it's true. You thought that it would be a good idea to see if it's true or not.
Here you are now, walking down the path, bought nothing but yourself and a lantern. You thought you'll just go through this forest for an hour or so before going back to the village, and everything goes according to plan !
Nothing happened,
You did got lost for quite awhile, but you manage to return back to the village in one piece. You're a bit disappointed upon the discovery, nothing happened when you entered the forbidden forest.
So you went to visit again the next day, the same exact hour, and again you walked out still disappointed. Nothing happened, you went on doing it for a whole week, and all of those days you wasted at night only filled with disappointment.
One day, you were having a quite hassle at your workplace. Not only that, even in your household. That is your worst day in the week, you went out to take a breather at night, you didn't even realize where your foot is taking you until you're standing in the middle of an open space in the fortunately familiar forest.
You turned, to see you're surrounded by trees, and trees. Of course, because you're in a forest, until you realized that a path slowly opens before you. The trees moved, opening a path for you leading to a well kept house at the distance. You hesitantly walked down the path, as you get closer, you didn't realize the trees behind you closed the path behind you.
The moon shines bright above you, shining down upon the house and you. Who' standing before the house, entranced by the beauty of the surroundings. Sakura trees bloomed around the house, rocky path before you leading to the sliding door, the side is a small wellspring where people usually wash their hands and mouth for to purify themselves before approaching the shrine.
You can hear the water flowing, the sakura trees rustling against each other. It was so peaceful, it made you don't want to leave this beautiful place.
Until you heard a loud thud behind you, soon followed with a low growl. Your body frozen, refuses to move, your feet refuses to take a step, you slowly turn around to see a tall, large being, staring down at you, his lips parted slightly, emitting smokes, and his large wings flapping slightly on his back made your body shiver.
Your eyes met with the beast, the Demon. It approaches you, oh so slowly. Making you falter, and fell down. Earning another growl from the Demon in front of you, soon you felt your back hit something. You look up to see a figure looming down over you, smiling.
"Well well, an unexpected guest..!" The male with a beautiful, long, raven hair slowly slides over from his shoulder, some hitting your shoulder, he leaned away and whispered an apology for his hair.
"Apologies, my hair is quite a hassle," He started as he kneeled next to you, looking at you curiously. "You know you could've got consumed if I came late" The male with a long raven hair, that have a rather unique iconic yellow hair at the left side.
His eyes are violet, it's so enchanting to stare at. The long raven haired male glanced over at the beast who had stopped moving, 10 feet away from you. "You should thank me for coming at the right moment before you're consumed by him" he chuckled before slowly standing back up again and stared down at you.
The demon took a step next to the long raven haired male, "I believe you already know what we are? Especially from those, rumors going on around your village" His violet eyes stares back into yours. He smiled, his smile is quite unique. It made your heart skipped a beat.
And then realization falls before you, you stared at the large figure behind this beautiful man who have such a long raven hair that's mixed with purple, pink and yellow.
These two are the two figures that the villagers mentioned,
The Demon and The Sorcerer.
"I, I'm sorry for disturbing you two, I," You glanced down upon yourself, "My head was in distraught, I had a bad day today. I didn't even realize where my foot is taking me" You started rambling. The two didn't say anything, they just silently stare at you.
"Shu" You glanced back up, "Huh?" "Shu Yamino, that's my name" He introduced himself. "And this," his hand extended to the side, pointing at the figure near him. "This is Vox Akuma." Shu introduced the other, "We'll let you stay, just for tonight since it's dangerous for someone like you, a human to wander around this forest at night"
Soon, the large figure behind Shu, Vox, slowly getting engulfed by smoke around him. And then when he stepped out, he is a whole different being. His golden eyes pierced into yours, his two horns on his forehead made him look appealing.
"Truly, I would've eaten you up if it was not for Shu stopping me from doing so." Your body shivers when you heard his low husky voice, "Go rest Human, Tomorrow morning you should be already in your room" Vox said before walking pass you, and stopped a few steps behind you.
"Don't think we don't know what you're doing last week" He said before disappearing into the house, Shu who had been standing quietly finally let out a small chuckle. "Apologies, he usually don't act that way, perhaps he just doesn't want to repeat the same incident" He said as he helped you get off from the ground.
"Incident?" The Sorcerer smiled agitatedly, "Whoops, I said too much," he said as he then start walking towards the house, "Come, I'll show you the room you're staying in for the night."
You hesitantly followed Shu, walking down the wooden floors, sometimes it creaked sometimes it doesn't. As you followed him, you noticed that this house is pretty decent, like how houses should normally be.
These type of houses usually would be owned by rich people, but to see such house in the forbidden forest made you wonder, your train of thoughts was come to a stop by a voice coming from the male before you.
"Stay curious, but try not to find out about your curiosity." The Sorcerer turned his head a bit, looking at you over his shoulder, his identic smile appeared once more. "You should be thankful you're alive right now, you could've been a whole feast for us" he chuckled softly at his questionable statement, "O, Okay" You replied, and then Shu slides the door next to him, "Here is your room, do avoid to wander around the house, okay?" He said as he wait for you to step into the room.
"Then again, humans are stubborn, if you want to wander around, go ahead," He said, his violet eyes no longer look friendly, "But this time I do not guarantee your safety." He said before his friendly face appeared again within a blink. "Well then, Goodbye, human" He said as he bow slightly before sliding the door close.
Leaving you alone in the room, it looks pretty cozy, with the table in the middle of the room, and then a vase on it, along with a futon folded up at the corner. The moon shines through the window, making the room look quite. Lonely.
You sat near the window and looked up at the night sky, at the moon who high up in the dark sky. Accompanied by the stars around it,
It's beautiful.
Your thoughts now goes back to those two, The demon and The Sorcerer. They look like they're not quite fond with humans, especially Vox, he seems to despise you.
Shu seems more friendlier, but he, there is something wrong with him that doesn't click right on you. It's like, he is physically there, but also not there.
Your eyes slowly gets drowsy, but before you fell asleep on the window, you get to the futon, opening them, and you just scoot into the futon. The moment your head hits the pillow, you're out cold.
. . .
Birds chirping outside, you opened your eyes to see a familiar ceiling, you looked around.
It's your room.
It's exactly like Vox said, you're now back into your room, you don't know how they did it, but one thing is that, You want to see them again, will fate let you see them again?
Will they let you see them again? Question after question kept on appearing one after another, you want to see them, but do they want to see you?
You sighed at the thought and went on your day with them plaguing your thoughts.
. . .
Night arrives and your stubborn self standing outside the forbidden forest, holding a latern. But before you step into the forest, you heard a familiar voice.
"Foolish human"
"Haha, you're a stubborn one, I thought the warning is enough, don't you value your life?"
You turned to see where the voice coming from, nowhere, and then you look up at one of the trees, you see a familiar raven purple hair dangling, then a violet eyes staring back into yours from the dark.
Then under the tree there's a piercing golden eyes looking back into yours too, but then those eyes slowly turned pink, and then there' smoke emits from the dark.
The familiar large figure looms out from the dark, you didn't realize your hands clenched onto your latern so tightly, "Do you know what you're getting yourself into, human?" The demon's voice growled as he stand tall under the shades.
"No, I don't, or maybe I do" You said as you look at these two who's in the shades, "Turn back, don't make things more difficult than it already is." Shu's enchanting voice demanded, "You wouldn't want to know what's going on inside this forest now" he continued and let out a chuckle.
"Let them be Shu, humans are stubborn, if they want to die then let them die." Vox turned around and walked away, soon Shu jumped down from the tree and stares at you, smiling. Though his eyes isn't.
And then you blinked, and Shu is standing right before you, his face right next to your ears, making your breath hitched. "You are nothing but food to those beings in the forest, if you want to be feasted on that badly then go ahead. Both I and Vox told you to stay away for your own safety." He leaned back a bit, you both stared at each other.
Shu's gloved hand touches your chin, "Someone like you doesn't belong in this hellish place," he whispered, his thumb glaze along the lines of your chin. "But Humans are stubborn by nature, when they want something, they will get them no matter what, no?" He leans dangerously close to your lips.
But then let out a small laugh as he stepped away and walked away from you like he did nothing wrong, leaving you breathless, dumbfounded on the spot.
"If you still insisting on going then go ahead, because this time they're no longer hiding." That is the last thing he said before leaving you alone, you looked around, your legs almost lost it's strength after what the Sorcerer did.
You couldn't forget his scent, he smells rather sweet, and intoxicatingly addictive.
. . .
That night you didn't enter the forest, you turned your back on the forest and walked away, you can't forget what Shu did to you that time.
It plays on loop on your head, he was so close to you, you can feel his breath, his scent strokes your nostrils to the addictive amount, his voice sounds enchanting.
Ugh, he is so intoxicating.
. . .
Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. You didn't visit the forbidden forest like how they wanted you to be, but you'll be lying if you didn't miss them.
One night you went to the forest again, and the same incident happened once more.
"Just when I thought you'll stop coming back forever, of course you're going to return." A familiar husky voice echoed through your eardrums, you tilt your head to the owner of the voice. "Vox.." You whispered his name, as you do he walked out from the shades, taking a few steps before stopping a few feet before you.
His golden eyes bore into yours, he then approached you, closer, and closer. To the point he's so close to you that his figure is looming over you, "Leave," he started.
"While I asked nicely." His eyes soften a slightly, but it disappears as quick as it appeared. "Why do you keep insisting on me leaving, Vox?" You asked him, he' silent. He didn't say anything, instead he leaned his face closer to yours.
"You really want to waste your life? "
His golden eyes stared into yours, filled with so many emotions. He then take a step back and walked away, "We're just trying to not let you waste your life as food, but of course your kind doesn't care and proceed on coming here and become free food to feast on." He said before stopping on his tracks, he looked over his shoulder, "Though if you do want to be food that bad," he trailed off "I could feast on you, and you won't be feeling any pain."
"Ha, how ridiculous Vox" "Tsk, well nevermind then" Vox sighed softly as he eyed Shu who innocently walked out from the dark, smiling at you and then him, "Well, it's nice to see you again human, I thought you're already getting feasted on" he laughed softly.
"It's good to see you still in one piece" He glanced at you, "Though, you came at the worst timing" Shu said as she shove his hands into his sleeves, "Tonight is Red Moon, they're going out to find humans to feast on" he said casually, both his violet eyes glistens under the moonlight, along with Vox's golden eyes staring at yours.
"Well? Do you want to be feasted on? Or do you still want to live?"
"Turn and walk away if you still want to live, or You will be eaten alive right here and now"
"Haha, that sounds so brutal Vox, you could've been a bit more subtle about it"
"Hmh, ..So, what do you choose?"
But before you could have a moment to think, you hear footsteps coming closer to the three of you, all of you turned to see who's approaching.
"Oh.. Uninvited guests" Shu said as he took a step before you, shielding you away from the 'uninvited guests'. Vox at the other hand summoned his katana, "Well I have no plan on sharing." The demon said as he stared at the distance, "Haha, well at least you're sharing with me?"
Both of them talked about sharing and you have no idea what exactly are they talking about, both of them then stopped talking and look back at you.
Shu's violet eyes narrowed, as he smiled at you.
Vox's golden eyes coldly stares into yours, looking at you, like, you're his prey.
Oh dear, what's going to happen to you?
©fakesimp . 2023
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Splitting this into parts, how are you guys feeling? Yaminions? Kindreds? How's the fic? You like it? And boy I did not intend to write the fic this long lol.
|| Part 2 ->
A/n !
Reblogs and Comments are always appreciated !
Get this fic to 300 notes, and I'll write the second part.
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sexiestpodcastcharacter · 1 year ago
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5
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Propaganda
Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):
7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.
7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart
Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.
7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.
Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.
They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.
They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.
Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.
Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).
Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).
And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house
I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.
Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!
Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.
We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.
Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):
One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)
Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics
And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell
But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man
Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)
The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier
Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI
Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell
Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain
When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly
Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery
2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues
You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!
His mom is simultaneously alive and dead
His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)
HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP
HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT
Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)
CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]
A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)
Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that
So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there
This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon
Rock and roll(er)
Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13
for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred
definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)
I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:
Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.
...
[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.
...
Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?
Gable and Nicky Together:
We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.
Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.
Kravitz (The Adventure Zone: Balance):
Grim Reaper. So hot he managed to date Taako from TV
gotta be krav
Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.
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lurkingshan · 1 year ago
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Only Friends and Engaging with Queer Male Media as a Cishet Woman
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I’ve had some good conversations this week with friends as we’ve been unpacking our early reactions to Only Friends, which has only just begun getting into the messy dynamics we know the show is going to explore. One of the things that has come up in conversation is our different reactions to the scene between Boston and Top in the shower stall, and how we each read that in terms of consent, sexual coercion, and what it says about each of the characters. Some of us were relatively unfazed by the scene, finding it to be a fairly realistic depiction of a pushy aggressor and his conquest who is not that into him, but also not really opposed to getting sex anywhere and any way he can. Some were more uncomfortable, recognizing behaviors we might call assault in other contexts and wondering whether we should be condemning the character or the scene for the behavior depicted.
For me, this discussion brought up a lot of my previous fandom experiences, taking me all the way back to ye olden days when Queer as Folk (US) was airing and the majority cishet woman fandom spaces were scandalized, scandalized I tell you, by some of the aspects of gay male culture it depicted. It was not the first or the last show to do so, but it stands out in my mind as an important cultural moment at the turn of century as I was coming of age, when the internet was booming and the proliferation of online fandom spaces was rapidly accelerating. Because QaF did it all—casual sex, cruising, group sex, very public acts of indecency, aggressive boundary pushing and peacocking, open and polyamorous relationships, cheating and betrayal, age gaps—and it depicted it all quite explicitly, which made a lot of people uncomfortable. Especially women who were used to thinking about sex and relationships through two primary, and heavily socialized, lenses:
heteronormative romance, and
heterosexual rape culture.
Let’s take a moment to unpack those terms. Heteronormative romance is a big, broad term that I’m using as a kind of container for a lot of things, including patriarchal structures, misogyny, rigid gender roles, purity myths and fetishization of virginity, courtship rituals, promiscuity and respectability politics, the madonna/whore complex, sex as an act primarily for breeding and procreation, expectations of sublimating sexual desire in service of caretaking for others, and so on. Basically, all the bullshit cis women get jammed into our heads from birth that gives us so many hang ups about sex and love. With heterosexual rape culture, I am referring to the undeniable culture of sexual violence women also endure in a majority heterosexual society, in which we are in constant danger of having our boundaries transgressed, being physically and psychologically hurt, and then being told it doesn’t matter because our personhood has always been in question and never mattered as much as any one man’s power or pleasure. I’m not going to drop a bunch of citations for the above because this is tumblr and I have escaped the icy grip of graduate school, but if any of these ideas are unfamiliar to you, google is your pal (and please read about intersectionality as it relates to these concepts while you’re at it, because there are layers of identity that make these dangers worse for some, like our trans and BIPOC sisters, and all of this is undergirded, as ever, by white supremacy).
So, yes, engaging with media about sex is fraught for women, especially when that media does not conform to our heteronormative ideas of morality that have been shaped by all of the above, and particularly when we as individuals have not done the work to unpack and interrogate our socialized beliefs, which is often the case for cishet women especially. Many of us instinctively cringe away from unromantic depictions of sex. Many of us can’t stand cheating and betrayal in our love stories. Many of us shy away from media that depicts the unfortunate reality of grey and dubious consent. All of that is valid, to an extent, and rooted in the way we have been taught to think about this stuff from birth, and the ways we’ve had to adapt to survive. 
But, here’s the thing, girlies: most of those socialized hang ups I just talked about? Do not apply to a story by, for, and about queer men. 
Before you start yelling, here is your disclaimer: of course patriarchy and misogyny also hurt men. Of course rape culture also exists in queer communities, and of course some queer people engage in heterosexual sex, so these are not mutually exclusive categories of people. And, importantly, cishet women are not the only ones who struggle with these tensions—just the ones who are most relevant to this particular post. 
So, after that long and winding road, back to the point: this debate about the bathroom scene in Only Friends is the same shit that’s been debated in majority female fandoms around depictions of queer male sex since time immemorial. And whatever your personal feelings are on that scene, or the no doubt numerous other depictions of questionable romantic and sexual etiquette and dubious consent coming our way in this show, what it boils down to is this: can a majority cis woman fandom step outside of our own conception of sexual morality to engage with this show not with judgment, but with curiosity about what sex and relationships look like for queer men? This show has an entirely queer male writing and directing team. It is made with love by people of the community, for the community. They know what they’re about, they have resumes demonstrating they are damn good storytellers who understand safe sex, consent, sexual health, and sex work, and they are here to tell us a story grounded in their reality. BL has been moving in fits and starts toward depictions of sex that are more honest about queer male experiences, and Only Friends, spearheaded by the Jojo Tichakorn Phukhaotong (who demonstrated quite ably that he has a firm grasp on consent, sexual assault, and the damage that dubious consent can cause in The Warp Effect), is the next step in that evolution. The key point is that sexual activity simply does not mean the same thing or carry the same associations and hang ups for queer men as it does for cis women. With that in mind, can we try our best to process and critique this story on their terms, instead of our own?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Only Friends is not going to be a good time for people who are looking for romantic depictions of relationships and sex or invested in identifying heroes and villains amongst this cast of characters. This show is about deeply flawed people hurting each other, rooted in the lived experience of the Thai queer male community—and those of us who do not share all of those lived experiences may not understand the nuances of every single thing that is happening. We can be sure that the characters will all be wrong sometimes and they will all do things we think are stupid or reckless or unkind. Does that mean we can’t have empathy for them? Do they have to act in a way we think is morally “correct” in order to love them? You don’t have to be comfortable with the things these characters do, and it’s certainly valid to point out when you think lines have been crossed. But attempting to sort them into “good” and “bad” camps is pointless, and moralistic judgment of their behavior is out of place, particularly when it comes from a place of trying to force them into our own irrelevant frameworks for sexual politics. 
And with all that said, I am passing the baton over to my dear friend @waitmyturtles, because there’s an entire aspect of the intersectional cultures at play here that I have barely touched on—Only Friends as an Asian queer story that is building from a specific lineage of Thai queer media. I’m gonna let her take the mic for that part, and say thanks to her, @bengiyo, @neuroticbookworm and @wen-kexing-apologist for reading this over and helping me think through what I wanted to say here, and shoutout to @williamrikers whose post I also linked to above. 
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fang-and-feather · 10 months ago
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To preface this, I already made a Thank You post, but Thank You again for joining me in this journey! You make all my work worth it! 🥰😘
This is a bit overdue, but I had a hard time figuring out what to do. I ended up going with something a little simple and, not as creative or personal as I expected (maybe next time, if there's one), but I settled on two phases of opening requests, this one for some old prompts I got, for things I know people follow me for, or at least recognize me for. The second phase (that has no set time to begin) will be for starting new things.
In this phase I will be taking requests for Ikemen Vampire and Star-Crossed Myth
I will be taking one request by prompt and marking them out as they get taken so check available prompts before requesting.
Prompts can be SFW or NSFW (they'll be separated in three lists, one for specifically NSFW, one that I will only write as SFW and the other where you can chose), all of them will be fluffy.
For NSFW, you can chose who's top or bottom (or middle for threesomes)
I do take requests for suitor x reader/MC and polyamorous suitor x suitor x reader/MC as either V or triad (in other words, you can chose whether only reader is dating the two guys of if they're also dating).
2nd person will be the default, but you can request for 3rd person with a name of your choice if you want, female or male reader (female will be default).
Also you can chose between reader/MC's POV and the suitor's
I will probably start working on these in April but I decided to open it in advance for some time to prepare.
Prompts list bellow the cut:
SFW Prompts:
"May I have this dance?"
Blind Date
Nurse AU
If you solve this, I'll buy you lunch"
Falling in Love
NSFW Prompts:
Mirror Sex
Dry Humping
"No one's ever touched me like this, fuck"
Dirty Talk
Handcuffs
Neutral Prompts (pure fluff or smut to your choice):
Picnic Date
Friends to Lovers
Arranged Marriage AU
Demigod(ess) AU
True Love's Kiss
"I can't stop thinking about you"
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zac-yang · 8 months ago
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Recovering the maternal in art
Thoughts on Hamlet #1
A crazed rant on Hamlet, art in modernity, Susan Sontag, and female power in Christian theology
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The feminine urge to be daddy's mommy. — — Natalie Wynn, Contrapoints
This is the first of my series of meditations based on Shakespeare’s Hamlet, which I have been studying as part of English literature A-level. It is the basis on which I expand into wider general reflections on culture and philosophy, linking to other things I’ve read or watched recently.
This piece begins as art criticism about excessive author presence in modern art, with allusion to Hamlet as an embodiment of such modern artist. But then it kind of diverges into a theological tangent and ultimately an argument about gender and female power in Christian myths.
It doesn’t really neatly belong to any specific literary category. It is essay-like, but is full of poetic logic. Perhaps just read it as a kind of unhinged diary entry or notes app notes that should have stayed in the drafts.
— — Z
1
Modern authors, perhaps due to their peculiar awareness of themselves as authors, have felt this exceeding sense of self-inflicted obligation, that they have to force their authorships onto the audience, to make them aware that what they’re seeing, is in fact, created by them. And not just by the world.
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‘What a piece of work / Is a man!’ Hamlet, II, ii, 301–302
What I mean by this could be seen most obviously in the attempt that modern authors try to push “message” into their works, or simply the conscious attempt to have any message at all. Consciousness is really the crime here. There is a kind of forcedness in modern art, a lack of the grace, the relaxed effortlessness that is so prevalent in classical, canonical art. Modern art is always agitating, in a permanent state of anxiety and uncertainty in whether it has “correctly” communicated its message to its audience.
Notes: Hamlet is seen by many as Shakespeare’s most philosophical play, his most message-heavy work, with deep contemplations on the nature of existence.
The long soliloquies of the eponymous prince has long been described as rigorously academic in style, perhaps most famously, in the ‘to be or not to be’ soliloquy. It is the most decontextualised soliloquy uttered by the prince, in which he solely speaks on the conceptual matters of life and death.
Yet this intellectual aspect of the play might perhaps what Shakespeare precisely is trying to satirise here. A tormenting, self-cannibalising, painful intellectual interiority, emerging in the early modern West, with its deep Christian moralism and inhuman rationalism, is here presented as precisely what drives the main character, and those around him, into misfortunes.
‘O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!’
Hamlet, II. ii. 538
The dramatic forcedness of Hamlet's messaging is perhaps most evident in the almost ravage-like scene in Gertrude's chamber (III, vi), in which he almost embodies the incestuous and murderous Nero. 'Let not ever The soul of Nero enter this firm bosom. Let me be cruel, not unnatural.' III. ii. 366-368
Susan Sontag said that art should be flirtation, not rape. Well, many modern art feels like rape to me. They feel like rape in the way that they try to force one singular thing onto its recipient. It refuses a defused, tender sensuality that slowly transmits and triggers desires through a landscape of polyamorous tenderness. Instead, it is strictly patriarchal, scriptural, the word of the Father, of God, Author The Creator. There is a violence to it. But more so there is a naivety to it.
The violence is in the naivety. In its brutal attempt to not appear naive, but rather adultly, scholarly, fatherly, like the son who resolves the Oedipus complex by identifying with the father to escape the fate of castration. The dwarf dressed in the giant’s robes.
‘But two months dead — nay, not so much, not two-
So excellent a king, that was to this
Hyperion to a satyr, so loving to my mother
That he might not beteem the winds of heaven
Visit her face too roughly. Heaven and earth!’
‘My father’s brother, but no more like my father/ Than I to Hercules’
Hamlet comparing his father to his uncle, the current King Cladius, and himself, I. ii. 138–142; 153–154
This is the modern author. The anxious son, boy, fearing castration, if not already castrated, living in the shadow of the father, haunted by him, resenting his mother, the wanton, the whore, the true artistry of the world.
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Hamlet (1949). Laurence Olivier
True art is always promiscuous. She is the Saint of All Sins. The Virgin in the Brothel. The Whore in the Church. The Holy Witch. The High Priestess of Filth. She is a woman. She is mother. The Oracle (whose words are obscure because they’re divine, not to Him the God, but the real, hedonistic god of music and joy, through whom she is enlightened in darkness). The Sea. Shall I moor tonight in thee.
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Twilight, Contrapoints, Natalie Wynn
He, the God, and Her, Nature, whose fundamental battle is once again reenacted in this.
Genesis 1:2, the Spirit of God moved upon the face of waters. God moved on top of the sea, God on nature, man on woman, reason on art, this is the fundamental violation, the real original sin, the forbidden fruit of knowledge, brought forth by Himself through his very presence. The fault of the Fall is not in us. It is in Him. For to be holy is to be aware of the profane, as the opposite is equally true. Therefore to be profane, to be sinful, is precisely to be aware of the existence of the hallow. To learn about it. To aspire to it. Without sin, there would be no God. Like there would be no man without woman.
‘Whatever is the subject of a prohibition is basically sacred’.
‘The taboo does not banish the transgression but, on the contrary, depends upon it, just as the transgression depends on the existence of the taboo: “The transgression does not deny the taboo but transcends it and completes it”.’
Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality
‘That discourse one might call the poetry of transgression is also knowledge. He who transgresses not only breaks a rule. He goes somewhere that the others are not; and he knows something the others don’t know.’
Georges Bataille, Story of the Eye
Notes: St. Augustine of Hippo wrote that original sin is transmitted by concupiscence and enfeebles freedom of the will without destroying it. But isn’t will also what precisely drove one (Eve) to the origional sin? Perhaps the will is much like Kant’s conception of freedom, a thing that creates its own limits.
Without an elusive ideal to aspire to, we will never be aware of our skin-felt wretchedness. The fruit is not only planted by God, it is God, it is God who eats the fruit, it is God who is the fruit being eaten, and it is God who is watching all of this.
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I find it interesting. The closeness between the angel and Satan. Almost mirror images. In Michelangelo’s painting of the sin of Adam and Eve from the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
The decision to have the woman be the one to eat the fruit therefore, is interesting, on multiple levels. She is the original sinner, but also the one closest to God. For the fruit is God, but the fruit is also sin, and it is through the death of the man that she (gives birth to) achieves salvation. She is sin, but she is sin in grace, the glorified sin, the sin made divine, the virgin who gives birth, saved from stoning (here she also mirrors the other Mary, the other permitted sinner, Mary Magdalen), who gives birth to the man who is going to die, through which she successfully redeems herself. She is the mother, and she is the sinner, the original in both, and in both she is holy.
Eve is Mary and Mary is Eve.
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The tree of death and of life in the Salzburg Missal: Eve gives the representatives of the old covenant the fruit that brings sin and death from the tree of paradise. Mary, on the other hand, gives the faith hosts, the bread of life. — — The New Eve (Latin: Nova Eva) is a devotional title for Mary, the mother of Jesus. Since the second century, numerous Eastern and Western Church fathers have expressed this doctrinal idea as an analogy to the biblical concept of the New Adam.
The man is essentially an accessory to her, a passage through which she penetrates through to achieve her eventual goal. He is only a thing that she decorates herself with. The baby in her bosom. The man on her laps (Pietà). The feminine urge to be daddy’s mommy. The gravedigger, whose death goes unmentioned, outlived everyone. Her blue robe is serene, like the halcyon sea.
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Sandro Botticelli’s Madonna and Child, painted in 1480, shows a reflective Mary in deep blue.
Z
17.03.2024
(with notes later added 24.03.24)
Source:
Susan Sontag, Against Interpretation, On Style, The artist as examplary sufferer
Natalie Wynn, Contrapoints, Twilight
Georges Bataille, Eroticism: Death and Sensuality, Story of the Eye
Janet Adelman, Man and Wife Is One Flesh: Hamlet and the Confrontation with the Maternal Body
I have also posted this on Medium.
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kyndredraven91 · 8 months ago
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Please help me spread the word!
I have gotten many messages and inquiries, so I decided to post this in as many places as possible for anyone looking for a Rafayel/MC and Zayne/MC fiction. Let's share the love for LnD!
This is my 96k+ word ongoing fiction which has three routes: Rafayel, Zayne, and a polyamorous route. I update 1-2 times a week. It is EXPLICIT R18+
((This week: Rafayel's story continues with a flare of JEALOUSY ^_^))
Summary:
A continuation of the main story past Chapter 8, picking up right where the chapter left off. SPOILERS! for the Main Story, cards, bonds, and the Myths for Rafayel and Zayne.
The Foreseer marked her as his own, a companion of eternity. But ice held no sway over the wild ocean. In this life and the last, Rafayel had claimed her first. No matter if she'd loved another in a different time. In this lifetime, he would ensure her eyes reflected only his flames.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/53564641/chapters/135586861
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polyamorouspunk · 1 year ago
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Myth: Being Polyamorous Automatically Ups Your Game
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thecourtscorkboard · 2 months ago
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Rise From the Ashes (1-5: Part One)
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2005 was a landmark year. North Korea announced it had nuclear weapons, the Xbox 360 was released, and Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney was given a new case—Rise from the Ashes.
Rise From the Ashes (1-5) is the grand finale to Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: a mystery that revolves around a grand conspiracy, a culture of unabashed corruption, and a climax two years in the making. Phoenix is called to defend Lana Skye, a chief prosecutor arrested for a murder that she has confessed to!
Interestingly, Rise From the Ashes was not in the original Japanese releases of the game. It came out alongside the English translations. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney closes on one of my favorite pieces of fiction ever written, no joke. Let's jump right into it!
THE CORE CAST:
Phoenix Wright: Four trials in and already proven to be an incredibly gifted lawyer, Phoenix's sudden hiatus after Maya's departure is finally broken.
Ema Skye: A high school student with a vested interest in forensic investigation, Ema takes Maya's place as Phoenix's assistant and co-counsel. (she's also my favorite character in the series :3)
Miles Edgeworth: 1-3, 1-4, and 1-5 make up a trilogy of incredibly important character growth for Miles, and he's at his best here: his cold veneer is broken, with his need for the truth finally at the forefront, but two paths equally parallel laid before him.
Dick Gumshoe: Dick once again returns as our resident gumshoe, serving as one of the detectives on this case and a vital ally.
THE MAIN CAST:
Lana Skye: The case's defendant and a chief prosecutor. Notably not the Chief Prosecutor and notably cold and callous towards anyone... including her own sister.
Damon Gant: Chief of Police. Veteran detective. Swimming enthusiast. A key character in this case, Damon Gant is the police's poster boy for efficient investigation and operations as well as Gumshoe's boss's boss.
Jake Marshall: A patrolman who has taken control of the investigation through raw Texan power. Has the best theme song in the entire game and a penchant for thinking he's in 1901.
Angel Starr: A key witness with an uncertain connection to Lana. A food truck owner and operator who specializes in boxed lunches and polyamorous relationships.
THE SECONDARY CAST:
Mike Meekins: A police officer who later proves to be an important figure in discovering the truth. Annoying as all Hell, but it's hard not to smile at his passion.
Bruce Goodman: A detective and the victim of this case, found stabbed to death in the trunk of a car in the Prosecutor's Office parking lot. A great detective and a good man.
Neil Marshall: A former prosecutor who was killed at the hands of Joe Darke in the SL-9 Incident. The elder brother of Jake Marshall.
Joe Darke: A spree killer and former businessman executed for the murders of 5 people, including Prosecutor Neil Marshall, in 2014.
A BRIEF RECAP
A thunderclap. The skyline of Los Angeles rushes past the camera, rain falling down in sheets. A person raises a knife and brings it down: and suddenly the camera shifts! Two people are stabbing two other people at two separate locations at the same time? What's going on here?!
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Perhaps one of the coolest opening cinematics in the entire series.
Investigation, Day One
It's been two months since 1-4. In those two months, Phoenix hasn't taken a single case: Maya's leaving has affected him that much, it seems. Poor guy. He's still returning to the office every day, and today's no exception. Except... there's somebody here before us!
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...and somebody who's getting her news a year late, apparently.
Meet the myth, the legend, the wonderfully AuDHD (SHE JUST LIKE ME FR), Ema Skye! Oh, Ema, my beloved! She'll be our main assistant for this case, but right now, she's just requesting our services. Phoenix moves to say "no" as always, but when Ema brings up her sister, he can't help but think of Maya. Reluctantly, Phoenix agrees to hear her out. Talking with Ema, we get to learn the basics of the case: her sister has been arrested for murder. We also learn that she's a scientific investigator! Or, er, will be. In three years. Right now, she's just a junior. (We also get some 2-4 foreshadowing; if you investigate the window, Phoenix says that the Gatewater Hotel is planning to open up a new branch outside Los Angeles!)
Ema tells us that her sister was seen by a witness stabbing somebody with a knife. Greeeeeat. Welp. Remember 1-4? We've worked with less. We also get to learn Ema's backstory: her parents died in a car accident when she was still young, with Lana being the only family she still has. Agreeing to go to the detention center to talk to her sister, we go there and meet this case's defendant.
Lana Skye, chief prosecutor. No, not Chief Prosecutor, silly; that's Blaise Debe- er... Excelsius Winner. There's chief prosecutors and the Chief Prosecutor. Get it? Got it? Good.* Anyways, Lana has told Ema not to come nor to get her a lawyer: was she planning to take the state-assigned one? Maybe she really did do it.
*My headcanoned explanation for this is that Lana is the chief prosecutor of the district while Excelsius/Blaise is the Chief Prosecutor for the entire State of California.
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She's rather adamant about her guilt...
It took place yesterday at 5:15. The witness saw her stabbing the victim very clearly, and it took place in the underground parking lot of the Prosecutor's Office: in the trunk of a subordinate's car, no less. The victim was a detective, stabbed once in the stomach. The victim being a detective... it will be considered a matter of pride for the police department to convict her. They'll go to any lengths... oh, man.
As a chief prosecutor, she oversees every single trial handled in the district. No wonder she's heard of Phoenix! Raising her hand to her chest, Ema notices a bandage: Lana says that she cut her hand open when she stabbed the victim. Greaaaaaaat. So not only is there a witness, there's evidence on her fuckin' body. Moving onto Lana's relationship with Mia, which Ema brought up earlier, Lana gives us a rather frank overview of their relationship.
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"Intellectually attracted" my ass.
Lana tells us the facts: she is admitting her guilt. There's no way we can take this case, right? Ema lashes out at Lana, saying that she's being selfish; she's adamant that Lana isn't the killer, lamenting that without Lana she'd be left alone and going as far to say that she hates her sister. Lana turns around, telling us to leave, but not without telling us that it's in our hands now. We're officially on the case! Something definitely doesn't fit, and we're gonna figure out what that something is.
Ema tells us that Lana's changed over the years: she used to be far kinder. What's going on, exactly? In any case, we move on to the underground parking lot. Yep. This is the scene of a murder. White tape and all! We also get to meet our third character of the case: Officer Jake Marshall!
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Cue Gunsmoke!
Gah, I love this guy. Officer Marshall seems to be in charge of the investigation; he tells us to leave, but we take a look around. The first thing that pops out is a wallet on the ground. Ema tells us to put it in our pocket. We do, and we take a closer look at it: in this case's first gimmick, 3D investigation! We open up the wallet and see who it belongs to. Sergeant Bruce Goodman, a detective with the police department. Could he be our victim? Trying to investigate the scene a bit closer, we get stopped by Marshall. We get to ask him a question, though. Who owns that car (apparently a Mustang)? Well, he tells us. The car belongs to somebody in the Prosecutor's Office: whoever is in Room 1202. Marshall tells us to stay away, so we do just that, but not before being stopped by... a lunchlady. Huh. A lunchlady calling herself the "Cough-Up Queen", no less. And she has clearance? Apparently she's connected to the case. The images are burned into her eyes; oh, she's the witness! Welp, that's Angel Starr for you.
Angel tells us that yesterday a prosecutor was awarded a "King of Prosecutors" trophy. She has a massive grudge against prosecutors, it seems: just our luck that our client is a prosecutor. Apparently, whoever they awarded the trophy to is the owner of the car; the most "evil prosecutor of all". But von Karma's in prison. No...
Angel tells us what she witnessed: Lana Skye undeniably had a knife and stabbed the victim and Angel saw it happen firsthand. Apparently she even has a personal connection to Lana! Hmm. Something is going on here... asking about Angel, she comes here every day to serve boxed lunches. Her boyfriend works as the security guard, apparently. Her vendetta against prosecutors is pretty deep; wonder if she got into trouble. Anyways, we've expended our talking options, so we head up to Room 1202. Wonder who it belongs to-
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Oh!
Apparently Ema knows who Edgeworth is; and has a bit of a crush on him. Don't blame her. The body was indeed found in, in Ema's words, a "nasty bright red sports car"... that happens to be Edgeworth's. Can I just say that I love how much fun Edgeworth is having in this scene? He's very clearly having a blast teasing Ema with her constant slip-ups and I love that for him. In the "that would be my car" line I like to imagine he's trying really hard not to laugh. We get to talking with Edgeworth about the case: he's the prosecutor for this case, and he has to prove her guilt! Edgeworth says that he's surprised he's still in the Prosecutor's Office. After all, rumors have surrounded him for years. Phony evidence, false confessions... the Demon Prosecutor, even though DL-6 is over, still lives. Edgeworth is innocent of both murders; but what about this murder?
Edgeworth was given the King of Prosecutors trophy yesterday, it seems. Edgeworth and Lana apparently worked on a case two years ago: his first big one. It looks like they don't have a good relationship, though. After all... the victim was stabbed in his car with his knife. Man. This winter has been harsh for Edgeworth, huh? The King of Prosecutors trophy is sent to the best prosecutor every year: it doesn't seem like he's a big fan of it, though. I wonder why- actually, nevermind. We know why.
Talking a bit more about the King of Prosecutor's Trophy, Edgeworth tells us he had to go all the way to the Police Department to receive it. He received it yesterday, so we talk about yesterday; it was "cleaning day", when evidence for solved cases is sorted and filed to make room for new cases. He got back at 5:12, only three minutes before the murder. After talking to Edgeworth, we're interrupted by a police officer. He's here at the request of the "Chief", apparently, to give Edgeworth a report. Edgeworth turns him away after learning there's no evidence against Lana in the report, taking his name: Officer Mike Meekins. Edgeworth tells us to leave, so we do.
The Police Department has some weird... thing in front of it. Right: the "Blue Badger", the new mascot of the police force. Ema seems to know about the Blue Badger. Someone's dancing next to it. Running up to us, it's... Gumshoe! Talking to him, we get a little bit more information on the case: he tells us not to defend Lana. Well, about that. At the very least, we do get confirmation that the victim is the card's owner, Bruce Goodman. That's not important, though. Gumshoe's been kicked out of Criminal Affairs! Only the highest-rank people are allowed in the Police Department: the lowest-ranking member is the Chief of Detectives, and the Chief of Police is directing the investigation itself! Is it just me, or does something smell besides the Butz?
Apparently, Goodman wasn't at the police department yesterday. He was assigned to evidence transferal... for a case two years ago. That's rather familiar, isn't it? Apparently, Lana called him out to the parking lot. That's the theory, at least. All the rumors about Edgeworth really kicked up after the murder of Robert Hammond. People are, naturally, suspicious of a nearly-perfect prosecutor. There's a rumor that he's taking the prosecution solely to take Lana's position for himself! Before we leave, Gumshoe tells us something. Officer Marshall was assigned to this case by the Chief of Police himself. Aw, man. Gumshoe gives us a letter of introduction, letting us investigate the crime scene! We give it to Marshall and he lets us investigate! Yay!
We're given the autopsy report: Bruce Goodman was stabbed with a knife once, dying within an hour and a half of 4 PM (so anywhere between 4:00 to 5:30). Yep, that lines up. Sliding on over to the scene of the crime, we find a phone on the ground. Turns out...
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This places her at the scene of the crime when the victim was murdered... great.
She tried to call someone. Our phone rang when we pressed re-dial... did Lana try to call us? Nope. Turns out it was just a wrong number. Prrrrrobably. Hopefully. Checking out Edgeworth's trunk, we find a piece of paper: "6-7S 12/2", on Goodman's own stationery. Huh. Weird. As we're leaving, we press the re-dial button on Lana's phone. The Steel Samurai theme starts playing. It was Ema's phone, not ours! The last person Lana called was Ema; why did she hide this from us? Lana hung up right after calling Ema at 5:18. Well... what a way to end our first day of investigation.
Trial, Day Two
We meet Lana in the Defendant's Lobby. She tells us the exact opposite of what Mia told us: to never believe in our clients. We tell Lana that she reminds us of Mia. Edgeworth calls Angel Starr to the stand, running a food truck for her job. We're told that, until two years ago, Ms. Starr was actually a detective! Two years ago... again? What happened two years ago?
Angel tells us that the parking lot is divided into two blocks: A Block, for prosecutors and staff, and B Block, for visitors. She gives her first testimony, stating that she saw Lana stab Goodman in the chest with her right hand. Pressing Angel a bit further, she says that she felt it in the air; apparently her bias against prosecutors comes from her being fired as a detective! Well, doesn't that mean she's biased against the defendant, who's the chief prosecutor? Not with the photo she took of the crime scene!
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You, uh... have a stain.
Now, now. Isn't that interesting? After all, I can't see a knife anywhere in this photo. Edgeworth responds with a very simple "Objection." The photo was taken after the stabbing. Starr said that she took the picture the moment she saw the crime, though: but this contradiction isn't much. She just misremembered! Adamant and spiteful, Angel claims that the murder was premediated due to Lana's wearing gloves. Presenting the knife, the courtroom starts murmuring once we reinforce that it is Edgeworth's. Speaking of that knife: if the murder was premeditated, why would she not bring her own knife? "When you plan a murder, you don't forget the weapon!"
Edgeworth is pretty quick to counter, though. After all, it's not his theory. It's solely Angel's. She's very adamant about it being planned, though! Why does she care so much? Angel says that Lana stabbed Goodman over and over, even though the autopsy report only says that he was stabbed once. Wait, Edgeworth takes over our objection! Asshole. Starr says that she just mistook something else for blood, thinking that was from Lana stabbing Goodman; her red muffler.
But she's not wearing a muffler in that picture, is she? Edgeworth takes over our objection. Angel Starr is apparently convinced that there was something red: she's forced to testify about when she apprehended Lana. Lana mentioned the muffler when she was arrested. That's where her confusion came from? Really?
There are a few issues with this testimony. Why would Lana run to the partition? What did she say about the muffler, actually? Well, we don't know exactly, but Angel does tell us that she was on her phone: the phone on the wall doesn't work, remember? And there's our next contradiction. How did Angel know that Lana tried to use the phone? You can't see the phone from B Block: it's behind that partition! She's been lying about her testimony this entire time? But why? Because... she wasn't in B Block at all, was she?! She was in A Block: specifically, the security room overlooking it. Remember that she brought a lunch to her boyfriend, the security guard?
Angel concedes: she was lying! But why? Why would she risk perjury over this kind of detail? Well... the Security Room is inside the building. Remember: what she saw isn't the problem. It's where she saw it! Angel concedes: this is, indeed, where she saw it from. She had to run down the stairs, but the door to Block A was locked. She had to run all the way across to B Block and then run over the chain-link fence separating A Block and B Block. It took her five minutes?! That's a long time for something like this! What in the world would Lana be doing in those five minutes? Why didn't she run away? Angel's testimony seems to be over for the day: alongside court.
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Knew it wouldn't be that easy.
Angel brings up Detective Goodman's shoe. Two types of blood were found on it: Goodman's and Lana's. Remember when she said she cut her hand open? Edgeworth says he can't accept the shoe as evidence, claiming it's against evidence law! Rule One: No evidence shall be shown without the approval of the police department! Edgeworth says that her evidence is illegal on that basis!
Angel counters. It was approved by the police apartment today! Aww, man. Edgeworth goes from pretty happy to utterly defeated. Cross-examining Angel, we ask for more information on the shoe. We have a problem with the shoe, though. Not just a problem, actually: a full-fledged contradiction! After all, there's blood on the sole! Why is this a problem? Well, in the crime scene photo, there's no bloody footprints on the ground! Edgeworth reminds us that Angel testified earlier that Lana kicked over an oil drum: those oil drums are filled with water! Trial nearly comes to an end, but Angel pulls out yet another piece of evidence! A photo of the crime scene; complete with Goodman's body, complete with water on the ground! Darn! This really puts us in a tight spot.
There's just one thing we can do; point out a piece of... something in the muffler. Wait! The muffler...? The car muffler! Remember what Angel said earlier, about hearing Lana say something about the muffler? That's a vital piece of evidence we need to review! His Honor agrees; trial is suspended for a thirty-minute recess.
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Howdy, pardner!
During the recess, we're greeted by Jake Marshall! Marshall tells us that he's stopped by to watch the proceedings, telling us that Lana absolutely had her muffler on that day; she always did, and she had it on at the awards ceremony. So then what, exactly, is going on?
Court is back in session and Edgeworth. Is. Pissed. He is absolutely livid at something. During the recess, His Honor charged Edgeworth with investigating something; Edgeworth shouts out that whatever his investigation led to was "unacceptable": and somebody interrupts the proceedings...
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Remember when people thought he was Apollo's dad?
Everybody, meet the second best character to come out of this case (after Ema, of course): Damon Gant, the Chief of Police! This must be why Edgeworth was freaking out. Gant hasn't visited the courtroom in two years (again...?), and he's dropped by because of Edgeworth. He's bringing in Lana's muffler: it was stuffed in that exhaust pipe! Furthermore, inside of the muffler is a switchblade! Edgeworth remains livid, pissed at Gant: he's blaming his investigators for missing such a vital piece of evidence. He tells Edgeworth to wait, which Edgeworth doesn't do, and then he tells Edgeworth to wait. After all, Edgeworth was in charge of the investigation. He's silent: Gant knows how to shut people up.
We open up the knife (but not before looking at the knife's tag; "SL-9 2"? Hmmm.). The tip is broken and the broken part is bloody; and it was found wrapped in Lana's muffler...? Gant is asked to testify about the knife, and he happily does, saying that the knife has nothing to do with the tape. Unless there's evidence that would connect the knife with Goodman, he can't give us anything. He does say that another detective was killed at the police department at 5:15. Scary coincidence, eh? After all, 5:15 was the exact same time that Goodman was killed! Two murders at once? What's going on?! We decide to exercise our right to cross-examine Gant. Well, what we need to find is a connection between the knife in the muffler (henceforth the SL-9 Knife) and the case at hand. Well... remember that scrap of paper we found? "6-7S"? What if it's upside down? It's not "6-7S 12/2", it's "SL-9 2/21": and SL-9 is on the knife's tag! Where did we find that note? In Edgeworth's car; the crime scene!
Gant is impressed. These two cases were connected: we get a new piece of testimony. The knife was evidence in this "SL-9 case" and stolen from the Police Department's Evidence Room. Well, that's where the detective was killed, right? Not the Evidence Room, but the Police Department itself. A suspect was arrested in the Police Department murder (let's call it Murder 2), but there's still a lot of questions that haven't been answered. We ask for a quid-pro-quo: we'll help out Gant in his case, answering some of his questions, and he'll help us out in ours, giving us information on his own. Accepting our offer, we get to ask Gant one thing and one thing only. We ask him where the victim was found. The... Evidence Room. The Evidence Room?! Wait, that's where the SL-9 Knife came from!
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Quid-pro-quos, blank checks... why does this feel like a political thriller?
Phoenix argues that the two cases have a proven connection! In an understatedly cool section Gant points out that it took Edgeworth and Phoenix maybe 20 minutes tops to figure it out when it took the police two days. Edgeworth requests that Gant releases the victim's information: he can't, however, because the crime isn't public. We can get some information, though, under the table. We can't get the victim's name. That's his red line. Well, we can get the victim's ID number, right? The victim's ID number, Gant tells us, is 5842189.
...Wait.
That's Bruce Goodman's ID number! The victim in Murder 1 and Murder 2 were the same person?! What the Hell is going on?! Edgeworth is blows his lid again ('emotionally stable' does not apply to Edgeworth in this case, it seems), absolutely incensed about not being told about this! Gant tells him to wait. After all, the oversight in this case... it's not Gant's fault. It's Edgeworth's. Meekins dropped by to give him the report, after all. Edgeworth tries to argue that Gant could've submitted the report this morning as evidence, but Gant says "no". After all, that'd break evidence law! As the Chief of Police he can personally approve evidence, sure, but there's a second part to that law. Evidence submitted without prior approval must be relevant to the case at hand. And since this file wasn't on the list of evidence provided to the court before trial... there was no way it couldn't have been submitted. There wasn't a connection until Wright pointed out Goodman was killed in two places at once.
With Edgeworth's position on the line and questions raised, trial comes to a close for the day. Edgeworth is given an extra day to investigate (which means that we are, too!) and answer a whole host of questions. How was Goodman killed in two places at once? What was the SL-9 case and how does it relate to this case? What's Gant's angle? If it wasn't Goodman... then who died in the Prosecutor's Office Parking Lot?
With those questions still in the air... court is adjourned.
Investigation, Day Two
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Enjoy this silly frame of Ema I paused on.
Ema asks a good question: "what's going on?" Well, Ema, I don't really know myself. Bruce Goodman apparently died in two places at once, even though the two crime scenes are thirty minutes away. We immediately go down to the crime scene to do a bit more digging: and Ema gives us a secret tool! Luminol! This is a magic little chemical that can detect blood stains. Donning Ema's bright pink glasses (that are... apparently red), we find a few stains on the ground where Goodman was stabbed. Isn't this kind of weird, though? Why isn't there more blood? Think of how much blood is on Goodman's shoe: it's more like he stepped in a puddle of the stuff. As Ema's talking about the stuff, we get interrupted by Angel Starr: she's surprisingly cordial with us, explaining that she lied because it "wouldn't sound convincing enough". In any case, Angel still saw what she saw: Lana stabbing a man. We talk with Angel a bit more, and we learn why she was fired: a case called the "SL-9 Incident".
Apparently, SL-9's evidence was due for transference on the day Goodman was killed. After talking about the knife and the crime photo Angel tell us about it: it was apparently this incident that convinced her prosecutors view detectives as disposable tools. Two years ago, something happened: it was a big case, and the police was desperate for evidence. Despite the criminal being caught, convicted, and executed, the police didn't have any truly decisive evidence. Angel has a suspicion that it was forged. Well... who else worked on a big case two years ago? There's Jake Marshall, who Angel is trying to lead us in the direction of (by giving us a Salisbury steak to give to him), but maybe we should also talk with Edgeworth about this.
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Angel Starr: detective, lunchlady, webspinner.
Jake and Angel worked together on SL-9, and Ema asks if he and Angel have become an item. Angel denies this, but Ema seems worried: does she have some connection to Jake outside of Lana working on SL-9? If you talk to her a bit more we get to learn that these "boyfriends" of hers are allies: people who still trust her, respect her, and are helping her and Jake in their secret investigation of SL-9.
Now that we've talked to Angel, there's really only one place to go: the Police Department, both to see Jake and see if we can investigate the murder that happened here. The second murder of Bruce Goodman! Gumshoe is in front of the Police Department, wailing about his lack of lunch and running off. He tells us that "he" is having a good cry at the Detention Center now that he's out of questioning: perhaps our suspect in the Evidence Room murder. When we head up to the guard station, Jake Marshall isn't there: guess we're going to the Detention Center! Who's the suspect in the Evidence Room murder? Why, it's...
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Poor guy.
Officer Mike Meekins? He's their suspect? Meekins tell us that he went to the Evidence Room: the guard station (Jake's!) was empty. There was a suspicious person in the Evidence Room, and Meekins blacked out; when he woke up, he was in the detention center. Meekins has a bandaged hand, just like Lana. What's up with that? One more similarity between the two murders. Meekins tells us that the detective in the Evidence Room pointed a knife at him before he went unconscious. When he came to, he was alone; Detective Goodman was gone after he cut his hand open! The victim's body apparently disappeared: Meekins insists that he's not the perpetrator, though. So who was...? He tells us that he didn't know Goodman: Meekins works in a small department, devoid of life and other creature comforts. He doesn't know any detectives at all!
Something really weird is going on, but what exactly is it? If it was Goodman in the Evidence Room, then would his ID card trigger Meekin's memory? Meekins says this is "it". When he approached Goodman, he asked for his ID card. Goodman then cut his hand open with a knife and the two started fighting! Well... there's something there. Ema points it out: Meekins didn't see the man's ID card. The body disappeared, as well! There's not just no proof that the man was Goodman. There's no proof that there was a murder in the Evidence Room at all! Apparently, the police are pretty sure that it was Goodman. After all, it's on video. There goes Ema's theory.
We go back to the Police Department, planning to walk into the Evidence Room to check it out. There's somebody already there, though...
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So... what's up with his tie? Is it like a bowtie mixed with a necktie, or...
Gant is consulting with the Chief of Detectives, talking about looking through "his" belongings. Probably Meekins. We take the time to talk with Gant. Apparently, Edgeworth's subject to an official inquiry. His reputation's already down the drain... and his own mentor was not only found guilty of the murder of Gregory Edgeworth, but also forging evidence (presumably concealing the DL-6 bullet and destroying the DL-6 evidence). Depending on what the committee decides Edgeworth's career could be in jeopardy. Man.
We also talk with Gant about the murder in the evidence room. "Goodman was stabbed in two locations at the same time": that's what the evidence is saying, according to Gant. It turns out, according to the Chief of Detectives, they were checking out Goodman's belongings: the only thing he left was a half-written lost item report, written the day of murder. Apparently, it can only be submitted to the Chief himself.
Speaking of the Chief, we ask him if we can at least investigate the evidence room. He's a very generous man: hell, he'd give us $50 if we asked! He lets us into the evidence room, giving us a special ID card for guests. We try to go in, but the card reader is turned off. It ain't workin'! Jake comes back to his post. He lets us into the crime scene now that we have a card. Well, now that he's here... we might as well give him his lunch.
We talk with Jake a bit more after he's done eating. We talk about Meekins's not seeing him: Jake says that he's lost his passion for police work after his demotion in the aftermath of SL-9. He doesn't see much need to be a guard; the security cameras do a good enough job for him. Ema asks him about SL-9, but Jake tells her that some things are better off not knowing. Hm. It almost sounds like he's being protective.
Jake doesn't really know what the machines in this room actually do, but he knows about the security cameras. Every six hours, if nothing happens on them, the data is wiped. You need an ID card to enter the evidence room, as well, and that leaves a record. As luck has it, he's got us a list. "5842189", i.e. Detective Goodman, entered the room at 5:14...
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...alongside "4989596", presumably Meekins.
Jake says he can't tell us anything else. We show him Goodman's card, though, and Jake tells us that there's only one copy of each ID card in the world! He agrees to give us the ID Card Record as evidence. We go into the Evidence Room and run into a ghost! Nope, it's just Gumshoe. Turns out that he's been put in charge of the investigation for the day! He gives us the floor plans to the evidence room and tells us that they're gonna use the evidence from yesterday to prepare for Meekins's trial: turns out that Gumshoe's just been kicked out of the investigation. He also tells us that only detectives can open their own lockers and that each one is locked behind a detective's own fingerprint. Neat! Some people don't even know they exist, apparently.
Well, since Gumshoe's here, we might as well talk about his boss. Edgeworth is still with the inquiry committee, and Gumshoe tells us that SL-9 was "the beginning of the end" for him. Hmm. Taking a look around, we see the metal detector and fishing pole from 1-4! Neat! We also see a bug detector; remember this one! We also see a bloody handprint on one of the lockers. Wait, that was Gumshoe's locker! Huh... there might be more bloodstains around the room! Before we look around more, though, there's another evidence locker that's been opened. Some ceramic shards are on the floor: they're SL-9 evidence, apparently. Putting the shards back together, it turns out to be a broken jar; but one of the pieces is missing. Weird. There's also another piece of SL-9 evidence hanging on police tape: a glove.
Well! Time to see if there's any more blood. We look around and find a handprint: or a partial one, anyways. It's from the first locker—the one with a piece of cloth hanging out of it. It can't be the murderer's handprint, since they wouldn't be facing this way if they were running out the room. So... what's going on?
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Curiouser and curiouser...
Going over to the other side, there's a lot of blood on the floor at the crime scene. Somebody was definitely killed here. The handprint we find on Gumshoe's locker is also somebody's right hand, not their left. Speaking of the Evidence Room murder, we show Gumshoe the ID list. The second number freaks him out: it's Edgeworth's?! Edgeworth came into the evidence room at 4:40 PM and the victim died within an hour and a half of 4 PM... how strange.
In any case, we present some of the SL-9 evidence to Gumshoe and he agrees to tell us about it. Edgeworth was the prosecutor on his face. That was his "big case"! Gumshoe thinks there might be some loose ends. SL-9 was an incredibly bloody case: a serial killing. Edgeworth built his case around a mistake the killer made. This case both shot Edgeworth into stardom and started the rumors around him. It was the last job Goodman ever did. He was in charge of SL-9... so does this mean he took the knife out himself? Gumshoe runs off. Edgeworth's inquiry committee is letting out soon. Maybe we should also go see him.
When we get there, the bellboy from 1-2 appears out of nowhere. Guess he works here now. Edgeworth is in: he's staring out the window, very very peeved, and says our name without seeing us. Either he's good at recognizing voices or he did that five times and got everybody's name wrong. He got Gumshoe's memo but apparently neglected to flip it over. He's not alright, is he?
Edgeworth's inquiry committee went... not bad. He didn't conceal evidence, they said, there was just a communication error. An official warning was given: "you got lucky... again." Man. Edgeworth is still showing up for trial tomorrow, but control over the investigation was given over to the police department. Any more investigation will be directed by Gant himself. Speaking of the Chief, Edgeworth was told by him to go into the evidence room the day of the murder to transfer evidence from a case solved half a year ago. (A blue screwdriver... half a year ago... I wonder if that screwdriver is from 1-2?) Wonder what that's about: if the evidence was already filed, then why would Gant want it? Weird.
If you spray around Edgeworth's room with luminol, you can find some blood on the floor. Looks like somebody had a bloody nose. Anyways, we talk about SL-9 a bit more with him: Goodman was in charge, but the overall head of the investigation was the Deputy Chief of Police, Damon Gant.
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I call ageism, Phoenix!
Phoenix asks a good question: why was the Deputy Chief of Police on an investigation? Edgeworth admits that the methods he used were extreme: he believed that if the murderer was let go, the blood would be on his hands. He denies forging evidence, though. Edgeworth says that he has a code that he follows faithfully: does this mean he didn't forge the autopsy report in 1-2? Anyways, as we're about to leave, Edgeworth asks Ema if she's still studying forensic science. He gives her some aluminum powder for fingerprints! Woot woot! Thanks, Edgeworth. (between you and me, fingerprinting in real life is a lot of fun: take a forensics class!)
We go back to the locker room to look at those handprints. Maybe there's some fingerprints we could lift there? We go, but the fingerprint we lift from Gumshoe's locker is completely blacked out. Whoever left this handprint was wearing gloves! Drat. Looks like there's another fingerprint on the locker besides the bloody hand, though. To nobody's surprise... it's Gumshoe's. Welp, how about we check out that other fingerprint? It's probably just Meekins's, remember he cut his hand open-
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Jake Marshall?!
Now why would Marshall's bloody fingerprints be here? Did he commit this murder? That's a question we'll have to answer tomorrow: investigation comes to an end on a very juicy cliffhanger!
Trial, Day Three
So. The victim was murdered in two places at the same time and two people were arrested for the same crime. Lana in the parking lot and Meekins in the evidence room... she tells us that the police are absolutely clueless. Lana tells us that she's struck a plea bargain: if she tells them the truth, they won't seek the death penalty. Fortunately for us, Lana is just as clueless as the rest of us. Unfortunately for us, Lana is just as clueless as the rest of us. We tell Lana about Jake's fingerprints in the evidence room. The signs are pointing to Mr. Marshall being Bruce Goodman's murderer...
Edgeworth starts off pretty strong. It takes 30 minutes to get from the Prosecutor's Office to the Police Department by car and vice versa, yet Goodman was killed at the same time in both places? Impossible. Edgeworth's case for today is going to be around the Evidence Room murder. Edgeworth calls his first witness: the suspect of the Evidence Room murder, Mike Meekins!
Meekins testifies that he was supposed to guard the evidence room that day. He spotted a suspicious man and the two of them fought, with Meekins saying that he "did it". After that, he fainted. A very vague testimony, huh? Pressing Meekins, his job was not just protecting the security office but also protecting the Blue Badger during the transferal process. He had to relocate it to the evidence room. We keep pressing him, and the court comes to a conclusion: it's pretty hard to say if the victim in the Evidence Room was Goodman at all. At least, it would be if Meekins didn't have a video tape!
Apparently, Meekins was given it by the Chief himself. Edgeworth says that he was told that no such tape existed! We take a look at the tape...
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Five Nights at Court
Well... someone's in the way. We do see Goodman walking past and opening his locker, with something falling out. Meekins is sneaking up behind him, and we see Goodman cut his hand open and the two of them get in a fight: from the video, though, it looks more like Goodman killed Meekins and then disappeared! What the Hell happened? Edgeworth wants to ignore the footage. It clearly doesn't show much.
Meekins testifies again, saying that there's no question in his mind that it was Goodman. After all, he opened up Goodman's locker, which requires his fingerprints. This is a strong point: each locker can only be opened by the detective it is assigned to. But what if the locker was already opened? The indicator light is open above Detective Goodman's locker! The locker was already open!
The lock wasn't engaged on the locker. This is weird: Edgeworth tells us that the lock is automatically engaged once the door shuts. Ema has a neat idea, though. What if something jammed the sensor? This something would have to be an insulator, since the sensor is electronic. Well... the glove we found earlier is made of rubber, and if you look at the tape you can clearly see something fall out of Goodman's locker!
There's only one conclusion. The person in the tape opened Goodman's locker without any fingerprints. We never see his face. He attacked Meekins when he was asked for his ID card: this man wasn't Detective Goodman! Edgeworth objects. The only thing we have raised the possibility that this man wasn't Bruce Goodman. Edgeworth asks Meekins to testify once more.
Well, here's the thing, Meekins says. Bruce Goodman had to use his ID card to get in. There's only one ID card given to each member of the force, and we know for a fact we know he used his card because of the record. His Honor has a good question: hundreds of pieces of evidence were due for transferal on the 21st. So why was this room so empty? Edgeworth clarifies that this room was used to store evidence from "special cases": extremely violent ones involving members of law enforcement. I guess that means SL-9 falls under that umbrella: which makes sense, given that Gant himself was involved in leading the investigation.
Well, there's already a pretty significant issue. Goodman issued a lost item report, remember? On said item report, he couldn't remember his ID number. What if Goodman lost his ID card and was writing out his report, misremembering his own number? This raises a very key possibility: somebody else stole Goodman's ID card and walked into the evidence room masquerading as him. That would explain the clothes as well!
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Somebody's confident...
Edgeworth summarizes are argument. On 5:15, a man disguised as Bruce Goodman was approached by Mike Meekins. This is because the locker in the evidence room was open and Bruce Goodman lost his ID card. There's only one conclusion to be drawn: there was no murder in the evidence room. Make sense so far?
...Wait.
That means the murder that Angel Starr saw in the parking lot was the real one! Lana stabbed Bruce Goodman! We've just argued for our own client's guilt! "Never interrupt your enemy while he's making a mistake," and all that. Oh, but only if it were that simple! Remember when we were checking out the Evidence Room and found that pool of blood? A murder did happen at the Evidence Room: the video tape just didn't show it. Edgeworth is out of options. He considered the Evidence Room murder unrelated. We finally have the upper hand! We know exactly who this "Goodman" was, and we call him to the stand! No rhyme intended.
Edgeworth agrees to our request. We keep the true reason for calling him secret, though. The court agrees for a 30 minute recess for Jake to be subpoena'd.
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Here's hoping he can answer some of our questions.
During the recess, Lana says that we've figured "everything" out: even though we haven't really figured out anything. Ema asks Lana why she's not telling us everything. Lana says nothing, though. Gumshoe bursts in and leaves in embarrassment before we call him back. Apparently, he was called here by Lana using our name. He's brought files on the SL-9 Incident of all things! Apparently Lana was a witness in SL-9. There's one more thing, though. Why is Ema's name in here? The rest of the world called SL-9 the "Joe Darke Killings": a distraught Ema storms out of the room. Jake Marshall, Angel Starr, Damon Gant, Miles Edgeworth, Lana Skye, Ema Skye... everybody in this case was involved in SL-9.
Trial reconvenes. It's just us and Edgeworth: we're all alone here. We take the time to go over the SL-9 files.
The perpetrator's name, rather fittingly, was Joe Darke. He was sentenced to death for the serial murders of 6 people; Edward Jones, Jason Knight, Edith Kirby, Rachael Moss, Jeb Bates, and Neil... Marshall. The lead prosecutor was Miles Edgeworth and the witnesses were Lana and Ema Skye. The executive investigators on the case were Damon Gant and Lana Skye; the head investigator was Bruce Goodman; and the secondary investigators were Jake Marshall and Angel Starr. That's all the file tells us.
Anyways, Marshall comes to the stand. He's here to testify about the security room; he says that he was across the street when the "murder" in the Evidence Room happened. We know that's impossible, though. After all, his bloody fingerprints were found inside! Marshall argues that the murderer just touched a place where his fingerprints were: the murderer was wearing gloves, after all.
Pressing his new testimony, Marshall eventually strengthens his argument. We can't see who the person in the tape is. We're openly claiming that it was him now, though, and we have proof inside of the tape itself. There's a white cloth in the leftmost locker that suddenly appears: and he said earlier that was his locker. The locker wasn't already opened, and it only opens with his fingerprints! Marshall didn't know about the fingerprint sensor. That was his mistake! He was in the evidence room during the crime. He was "Bruce Goodman"!
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Our first breakdown of the case!
Meekins saw his face, yes, but Meekins did not know who Bruce Goodman was! That's why Marshall attacked him: if he showed Meekins his ID card, then he'd be caught instantly! Marshall stills calls our evidence circumstantial. There's no proof that he dressed up as Bruce Goodman. Ah, but we graduated from the school of Mia Fey with a degree in Thinking Crazy! We don't need proof that he was disguised. We need proof that only exists because he was disguised!
The answer is rather simple. He didn't plan to open his locker; he had to. Why? Because Meekins's blood got on his disguise! That's what the 'cloth' is: it's his jacket! Marshall gives up; we've beaten him.
Marshall confesses everything in one last testimony. He had to do it on that day because of the evidence transferal: he was, and is, still trying to solve SL-9 with Angel. He stole Goodman's ID and a spare set of his clothes, knocking out Meekins and escaping the room by hiding in the camera's blind spots. There wasn't a murder in the evidence room at 5:15. Jake went into the evidence room to steal the SL-9 evidence and investigate it on his own terms; but the evidence was already gone when he looked for it and is still missing. After pressing his testimony more, he says he can't forget about SL-9 for a rather simple reason: the death of Neil Marshall.
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It's all starting to fall into place...
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...and the killer comes to light.
Neil Marshall was a prosecutor. He was assigned to SL-9 before his death, at which case it transferred into Edgeworth's hands. Neil was ostensibly killed by Darke, but Jake doesn't believe it: nobody could beat Neil in a fight. It was the first time Darke left behind evidence: it was all the court needed, apparently, and the court found him guilty based on Neil Marshall's murder.
His entire personal war against the system was to avenge his brother: he blames not just the police department but also Edgeworth. The Evidence Room murder is solved; there was no murder there, just theft and assault. This, of course, means that Lana had to have murdered Goodman in the parking lot. There's no way that this is a coincidence, though! Lana is in an incredibly tight spot: the only reason she wasn't convicted yesterday was the "murder" at the Police Department. Is it finally over...?
No! It can't be. Ema runs into the courtroom right before His Honor is about to give his verdict: she ran to the Evidence Room to look at the crime scene, but unfortunately didn't find anything. Ema's putting our full faith in us: there has to be one last contradiction here somewhere! Only one question remains. Is there any reasonable doubt? A bloody handprint was discovered at the crime scene. Is there a problem with this?
Well... there's one. Something is missing from the floor plan. The biggest part of the security footage, hiding in plain sight. Where's the Blue Badger? If the Blue Badger was there during Jake's break-in... then how could he leave a handprint there?! After all, it was right in front of the locker! He would've left a bloody handprint on the Blue Badger!
But what does this mean? The only reasonable conclusion is that the blood mark had to have been left before Jake's attack. After all, after that, the Blue Badger was there all day. That means...
...That... means...
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Boom.
Goodman wasn't stabbed at 5:15! He was stabbed earlier: remember that giant pool of blood we found? A murder did happen. It happened before Jake, or even Meekins with the Blue Badger, came in! We get an awesome back and forth between Phoenix and Edgeworth here: objection-objection-objection. There's one undeniable fact. Goodman's murder had to have happened before 5:15. After all, it happened in the Evidence Room, and the ID card record proves that nobody came in after Meekins was assaulted!
Edgeworth is suspected for a second by His Honor and Jake, but he quickly shoots down that hypothesis. The killer has to have been whoever owns the "777777" number: but we don't know who it belongs to. It belongs to somebody with a clearance level Captain or higher. The only way to know for sure is if we launch an official investigation against this "executive officer". That means... well, I think we might know who our murderer is. Goodman walked in with 7777777!
Marshall asks Lana a question. He's not about to ask about her ID number. He's asking her about SL-9: in the trial, did she use legitimate evidence?! Edgeworth asks her himself, given that he was in charge of the investigation. Lana skirts around the question, but eventually gets to the point. In the SL-9 trial, two years ago... she fabricated evidence to get Joe Darke convicted.
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A nightmare come true...
Edgeworth is distraught. The courtroom is in chaos. The courtroom simply will not calm down. Trial is forced to be adjourned with so many questions still in the air! What will happen to Edgeworth now? How and why exactly did Lana forge evidence? Who owns 7777777: and why did they kill Bruce Goodman?
This day comes to an incredibly bittersweet close. We now have a lead on who the true killer is, but at the cost of jeopardizing Edgeworth and Lana's careers...
Investigation, Day Three
Ema tells us what she had to do with the SL-9 Incident. On the night that Neil was murdered, Darke tried to kill Ema. Neil saved Ema's life, but Darke killed him: a terrible storm came through that night, and Ema saw Darke raise his knife Neil when the lightning lit up the room. This must be why Lana forged the evidence: Ema being attacked sent her over the edge. The question remains. Did Edgeworth know that the evidence was faulty? The answer is probably—hopefully—not. After SL-9, Lana became cold and distant: it affected her that much.
Ema fell unconscious after seeing Darke attack Neil: when she woke up Lana was holding her in he arms. Darke had been taken in for questioning when Ema was attacked: he tried to run away during the interview, running into Lana's office after getting into the elevator. After all, the elevator was right in front of the detective's office. Before Lana was a chief prosecutor, she was a detective! We go to visit her at the Detention Center.
Part Two can be found here.
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ku-kethil · 5 months ago
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STILL A WORK IN PROGRESS
Ku-Xovar Kethil, or Ku for short!
They/Them & Fae/Faer, Xier/Xieser/Xiem, occasionally We/Us & It/That, Wir & Es. AGAB is redacted!
26 Sól rotations. Gormanudur born.
Native/Wasian Alfatruar Pagan Witch.
Devoted to the Wild Hunt, Yngvi-Freyr/Herne & the Alfar aett (Divine Elves of myth).
2Sed, Intersexed, Nonbinary, Genderfluid, Genderqueer, Androgynous & Transgender!
Queer, Ceterosexual, Androphilic, Polyamorous & very kinky!
💚Elphame🤝Eldritch🖤
Otherkin: I AM an Elf/Fae, (Fallen) Angel, Divine/Celestial, Solar
Therian: I AM a Wolf, Hound, Dog/Pup
Synpath: I associate with Eagles, Black Cats
Hyperfixations include Mythology (mostly Celtic & Germanic), Arthuriana, Fairytales, Brian Froud, Johan Egerkrans, Arthur Machen, Viktor Rydberg, Terry Pratchett, Lord of The Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, Changeling the Dreaming, Skyrim, World of Warcraft. LEGO Elves, The Dragon Prince, Hilda. The Old Gods of Appalachia, Haint Stories, Urban Legends, Creepypastas. Weirdcore, Dreamcore, Dereality, Liminal Spaces, the Backrooms. Creepycute, Cottagecore, Corvidcore, Goblincore. Ren Faire, Cosplay, LARP. VTubers & ASMR.
AuDHD, Maladaptive Daydreaming, C-PTSD, multiple Personality Disorders, Cotard's Delusion & Schizoaffective Disorder. Synesthesia, Tetrachromacy, Hyperacusis & Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder.
Unsure if I'm a System?
D&D Setting @ymirs-vengeance
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nyaandoll · 5 months ago
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hai 🎀 this is my intro 4 anyone who wants 2 know more abt mi ! 🐶
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🧁 ꒰ interact 𓈒   ⑅
fans of : regretevator, sweet no death, it's not me it's my basement, tricks n treats (just fans of arcadekitten's games in general tbh), the stanley parable, sally face, fnaf, get a snack at 4am, scp foundation, creepypasta, villainous, don't hug me i'm scared, roblox myth's (goodpuffer, alonetravler, ect), npc's are becoming smart, yo-kai watch, the amazing digital circus, gravity falls, the backrooms, dandy's world, doki doki literature club, adventure time, mandela catalogue, bugbo, the darly boxman show, hazbin hotel, helluva boss, nekopara.
🧁 ꒰ about me 𓈒   ⑅
i post art sometimes and i've been drawing for around 8 years (do not give advice unless i ask for it, otherwise i will be likely to block you.) i have a lot of disorders, please be patient (autism, depression, (social) anxiety, schizophrenia, bpd, npd, ptsd.) for anyone who knows enneagrams, infp 4w5 te fi neutral good. i'm achillean, bigender, polyamorous, transmasc, and demisexual (not including xenogenders.) i use he/him, she/her, mew/mews, thou/thous, bun/buns, and sometimes woof/woofs or pup/pups, please no they/them as it makes me uncomfortable. i'm a kitsune otherkin and a piebald deer and (unspecified species) fox therian. i use pet regression and age regression as a coping mechanism, i regress to a puppy and around ages 2-5. i prefer to be considered ageless, but bodily i am a minor (13y/o.) i have a small typing quirk (though not used in this post for easier reading), that being some words having a repeated extra of the first at the beginning, and some words like for, to/too are replaced with the 4 or 2.
🧁 ꒰ dni 𓈒   ⑅
there isn't much for this as i'll likely just block you if i don't want interactions with you, but here are a few preferences. darkshippers (non-problematic comshippers are fine), anti neopronouns or xenogenders, the basic dni (racist, ableist, homophobe, ect.) and anyone who is over 20 (fine to follow or reblog my posts, just no direct contact please.)
🧁 ꒰ other socials 𓈒   ⑅
twitter : https://x.com/nyaandolll WARNING i post a lot of SH photos on there.
discord ( no link ) : funfettiiseal
tiktok : tiktok.com/@nyaandoll
pinterest : https://pin.it/6AdBoI6PI
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moniquill · 2 years ago
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https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706010/to-shape-a-dragons-breath-by-moniquill-blackgoose/
“To Shape a Dragon’s Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose is an early contender for the best fantasy novel of 2023. It’s one of those books that you have to thrust into the hands of everyone you know, just so you’ll have people to talk about it with. An Indigenous girl, Anequs, finds an egg, which hatches to produce a dragon that’s bonded to her — but according to the laws of the Anglish, who’ve colonized this alternate version of North America, Anequs must go to a special school to learn to control her baby dragon. If she fails her classes, her dragon, Kasaqua, will be slaughtered. What follows is reminiscent of R.F. Kuang’s “Babel”: Anequs is one of two Indigenous people at an elite school full of colonizers, who expect her to assimilate to their more “civilized” mores — but Anequs resists any suggestion that her own people’s knowledge or culture is inferior. Blackgoose’s worldbuilding is rich and fascinating, from the Norse-inspired Anglish culture, to the complex layers of Anequs’s society on Naquipaug island, to the alchemical properties of dragons’ exhalations. But what makes “Dragon’s Breath” such an absorbing read is Anequs herself: clever, resourceful, generous and uncompromising in the face of colonial condescension. This novel has garden parties and classroom scenes that are more suspenseful than most books’ epic battles.”
—The Washington Post
“[To Shape A Dragon’s Breath] has strong The Traitor Baru Cormorant vibes… it will reshape epic fantasy itself, in addition to the breath of a dragon.”
—LitHub
“To Shape a Dragon’s Breath is a remarkable novel that is bound to be a staple of fantasy shelves for years to come.”
—BuzzFeed
“Tender, thrilling and brimming with fire, this indigenous dragon story is one of the more exciting books I’ve had the pleasure of reading recently.”
—In Between Drafts
“Throughout the book, Blackgoose digs up the older roots of fantasy and plants new life with original ideas… a daring, entirely hot, take on dragonriders and worldbuilding… To Shape a Dragon’s Breath is one blazing epic gulp of a fantastic tale. Queer, anticolonialist, and full of dragons. Moniquill Blackgoose’s writing is easy to love: cutthroat, smooth, and reminds me of a story being told over an open fire.”
—Grimdark Magazine
“This is a classic fantasy at its finest, in which a young, underestimated outcast is introduced to a magical boarding school and all the friendships, drama, prejudice, and romance that immersion entails. The indigenous quest to maintain culture and identity within a paralyzingly restrictive imperialism determined to stamp out natives and their beliefs, and Anequs’ stubborn will to remain herself, create a fresh take on this setup and make this a must-read high-fantasy series. Blackgoose's focus on how storytelling and myth influence our culture and worldviews is also compelling. The relationships are exciting, the queer and polyamorous representation appealing, and it’s easy to fall hard for Anequs, her world, and her love for her dragon.”
—Booklist, STARRED review
“Dragons are never out of style, but To Shape a Dragon’s Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose is set to explore them in a way that feels incredibly fresh and intriguing in this indigenous-inspired fantasy novel.”
—Fansided
“Moniquill Blackgoose combines dragon mythology with sharp commentary on colonization and the struggles of indigenous populations in "To Shape a Dragon's Breath."
—PopSugar
“The fantasy and wonder of To Shape a Dragon’s Breath started immediately. But it didn’t feel like I was thrown into the story; more like I was joining characters and a world that existed without me. To Shape a Dragon’s Breath didn’t feel like there was an on-ramp to the world or culture. It would have been difficult in many books, but Blackgoose crafted a deep culture, society, and world that felt engaging to follow.”
—Lightspeed Magazine
“Blackgoose blends Indigenous history with fantastical beasts, taking themes of inequality and social agency in new directions. An excellent crossover novel for adults and young adults alike.”
—Library Journal
“Between the social commentary (couched in the fantasy world setting), the action, and detailed world-building, there’s a lot to love. It’s an engrossing story/world, and having the Indigenous perspective makes it hit all the harder.”
—Cinelinx
“To Shape a Dragon’s Breath has so many things going for it. It centers on a queer, poly, Indigenous character, dragon-riding and a boarding school setting. With a focus on dismantling colonialism and taking back heritage, what more could you ask for in a young adult fantasy?”
—Geek Girl Authority
“Incredible.”
—BookRiot
“Brilliant.”
—The Nerd Daily
“A fantastic world with wonderful characters, dragons, and places to explore.”
—Girl Who Reads
NATIONAL PRINT
Washington Post—review—5/8
Locus—review—May 2023 issue
Booklist—STARRED review—4/15
Lightspeed Magazine—review—December 2022 issue
Library Journal—what to read in 2023—2/7
Library Journal—review—1/30
Publishers Weekly—forthcoming books by indigenous authors—1/20
Booklist—series starters spotlight—1/1
Library Journal—SFF preview 2023—11/1
ONLINE
Cinelinx—5 new books—5/9
Geek Girl Authority—new books roundup—5/9
BookRiot—new releases today—5/9
Girl Who Reads—8 new Fantasy Novels—5/9
BuzzFeed—most anticipated of spring—3/14
PopSugar—new fantasy to read in May—4/25
Fangirlish—10 LGBTQ books coming out in May—5/7
Grimdark Magazine—review—2/3
The Lesbrary—sapphic May books—5/6
Fansided—new SFF in May—5/6
Fantasy Book Café—most anticipated books of May—5/7
The Nerd daily—new May books—5/4
Ms Magazine—best new May books—5/3
io9—new May books—5/1
Tor.com—new fantasy in May—5/1
In Between Drafts—best of May—5/1
BookRiot—best of May—5/1
LitHub—Dragons, Decolonization, and More: May’s best SFF—5/1
Distractify—best of May—4/26
American Booksellers Association—Q&A—4/26
Yahoo—best of spring—3/14
Ms Magazine—most anticipated books of 2023—1/25
Reads Rainbow—most anticipated—1/25
Tor.com—most anticipated—1/18
PopSugar—most anticipated books of 2023—1/25
Geek Girl Authority—most anticipated—1/2
BookRiot—SFF debuts to watch for—12/29
Lightspeed Mag—review—12/8
LOCAL MEDIA
Arlington Magazine—best new books of May—5/1
Galesburg Public Library Blog—review—5/8
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choiceofgames · 2 years ago
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New game! Stars Arisen, by Abigail C. Trevor
New game! "Stars Arisen" by Abigail C. Trevor is now available on Steam, iOS and Android. It's 33% off until March 22. Please reshare this with friends!
Reclaim your mother's throne with the mighty power of the skies! Bring down lightning on your foes, climb an endless tower, and call the ghosts of ages past to your aid. But will your sorcery save the city, or tear it apart?
https://www.choiceofgames.com/stars-arisen/
Stars Arisen is a one-million-word interactive epic fantasy novel by Abigail C. Trevor, author of Heroes of Myth. It's entirely text-based, without graphics or sound effects, and fueled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.
After a four-hundred-year reign over the city-state Kelestri, your mother, the immortal and all-powerful Sorceress of the Skies, was overthrown in a violent revolution. Called a tyrant and forced into exile, she was believed dead by all. Only you, her secret child and chosen heir, know the truth. Now, as the Sorceress's life begins to fade, she has given you a task: steal back the fallen stars that granted her power and reclaim her crown.
With the last vestiges of your mother's magic in your hands, you descend to Kelestri to find a city on the edge of change. Factions feud over its governance, riots fill the streets, and would-be sorcerers grasp at the remnants of magic in the city's secret corners. Seeing the rising new world, do you still intend to fulfill your mother's ancient vision? Will you restore the Sorceress's might, shatter it for good, or claim it for yourself?
• Play as male, female, or non-binary; gay, straight, bisexual, monogamous, polyamorous, asexual, and/or aromantic • Wield the power of the stars to call down storms, shape the earth, ride the wind, raise the dead - or even to become immortal! • Romance a radical orator, a savvy journalist, an outlaw mage, the heir to the rebellion, or the ghost of a master thief • Use your political acumen to pit feuding factions against each other, or guide them to peace • Uncover the stories that your mother wanted to bury: the secrets of her power, your ancestry, and the nature of magic itself • Reclaim your mother’s place as ruler of Kelestri, strengthen the revolutionary government, or seize the throne for yourself!
With the magic of fallen stars in your hands, how high will you rise?
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sexiestpodcastcharacter · 1 year ago
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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 4
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Propaganda
Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):
7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.
7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart
Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.
7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.
Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.
They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.
They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.
Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.
Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).
Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).
And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house
I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.
Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!
Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.
Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):
One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)
Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics
And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell
But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man
Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)
The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier
Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI
Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell
Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain
When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly
Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery
2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues
You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!
His mom is simultaneously alive and dead
His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)
HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP
HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT
Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)
CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]
A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)
Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that
So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there
This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon
Rock and roll(er)
Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13
for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred
definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)
I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:
Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying—  ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he?  Anthony: You hear—  Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot.  Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices.  [giggles]  Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool  Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes—  ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like—  Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying—  [chuckles]  The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.
...
[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear—  [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding.  [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue]  Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.
...
Anthony: And you hear blood—  [sizzling]  Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say—  The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?
Gable and Nicky Together:
We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.
Killian Fangbattle (The Adventure Zone: Balance):
she's an orc! she's really fuckin strong! she's a butch lesbian! she has a short fuse, loves to joke, and loves to threaten! and she is very soft and loves ducks + her lizard wife.
I don't even think I need to say anything here, we were all smitten the moment Griffin said "orc woman"
Art of Nicky by @llumimoon.
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