#polar bears a fucking Scary

[queerundercover]

H

They’ll never do a Hitman level set in a Furry Convention because gamers would absolutely ruin it but imagine. like the target isn’t a furry he just owns a hotel that happens to have one every year but you can disguise yourself in a fursuit and some guy will ask you “what species is your sona” and 47 would be like “a wolf. i always felt a connection with…hunters.” and then diana would be like “let’s see if you can sniff out some information, furrty-seven” and then he comes to my house and kills me for writing this

[bzdsentai]

Nightcrawler almost has a heart attack and dies.

[archangeldyke-all]

ANGELBEARRRR!!! IM GLAD YOU’RE FEELING BETTER MY BABY 🤎🤎🤎 i’ve had this thought floating around in my head for months but i can’t be arsed to write it so it’s yours now 🤭

imagine sleeping over at sevika’s place (probably before you move in together) and it’s getting late so she’s like “alright… well… lemme go get my jammies on…” and she comes back wearing FULL bear pjs, like she has a sleep shirt with a bear on it, bear pants, a bear ears headband to keep her hair out of her face, those ugly bear slippers, and she’s holding a teddy bear or two… and you just take a second to realize that THIS is the scary lady of zaun….

hehehehe i love youuuuuu

ENNABEAR I PASSED OUT FROM CUTENESS OVERLOAD OH MY GOD also this reminds me of some fantastic @dykesevika fanart that i will reblog so u guys can soak up the bear sevika vision. ooh ooh also shoutout to @fyeahnix as always for creating the adorable, perfect nickname for sev: sevi-bear. EEEEK

men and minors dni

you and sevika have been dating for about half a year now. you've spent the night at both your places, but those have always been sleepovers after sex, rushed and unplanned.

tonight, for the first time, you're having a sleepover. sure, you might end up having sex at some point, but that's not the point of tonight. the point of tonight is for you and sevika to just spend the evening together, giggling and gossiping and watching movies.

sevika ordered pizza, you built a nice little nest on her couch, and you've been each other's arms since then.

"where're you going?" you pout as your girlfriend tries to escape your arms. she chuckles.

"i wanna get my jammies on before the food gets here. you look so cozy in yours." she whines. you chuckle and shoo her away.

"fine, but hurry. i'm cold without you.

sevika grins and darts to her bedroom. you're curious to know what her jammies are-- she's only slept in boxers and socks beside you.

you're expecting her to wear a t-shirt and flannel bottoms, or something simple like that.

you certainly aren't expecting the full-body bear onsie, with a hoodie included, two little brown ears popping up on her head. her feet have little cloth claws embroidered into them. you almost pass out.

"oh. my. god."

"what?" sevika asks, frowning and crossing her arms over her chest, grumpily.

"sevika. did you buy that for me?" you ask.

sevika huffs and rolls her eyes. "no, these are my winter jammies."

you finally let out the squeal that's been bubbling up inside you, falling onto your back to kick your legs. sevika glares at you the entire time. you pull a pillow to your face to muffle your squeal.

eventually, sevika storms over and pulls the pillow away from your mouth. "don't suffocate yourself, jackass."

"sevika, this is the cutest fucking thing i've ever seen in my entire fucking life! you coo, pulling her down to rest on top of you. sevika grunts. you just giggle.

"they're... cozy." she tries to defend. you cackle.

"i'm sure they are, sevi-bear."

sevika groans at her new nickname. you pull her hood back so you can plant a wet smooch on her forehead.

"bears are my favorite animal, y'know." she pouts. you nod, your excited smile not fading in the slightest at the new information.

"any specific species?" you ask.

it's the right question. sevika perks up in your arms, and her embarrassment melts as a sparkle glimmers in her eye. "y'know there's only eight species of bear in the world?" she asks with wonder. you raise an eyebrow at her.

"no way, there's gotta be more."

"no! polar bear, brown bear, american black bear, asian black bear, sun bear, panda bear, and andean bear. that's it."

"what about koala?" you ask. sevika snorts and bites your neck. you cackle. "so, which one is your favorite?" you ask, nudging her butt with your heel. your heart does a somersault when you feel a plush little tail sewn on the back of her jammies.

"brown bear. obviously." she huffs, gesturing at herself.

"obviously." you giggle, kissing her. "and which one am i?" you ask.

sevika studies you for a second before speaking with a mischevious smirk. "panda."

you giggle. "why panda?"

"'cause they're useless on their own in the wild."

you gasp and kick her harder. sevika bursts into giggles. "i'm not useless!"

"well, you're not exactly brown-bear-ferocious."

"oh please. brown bears hibernate through winter and eat honey and salmon in the summer. deep down you just wanna be spoiled."

sevika sputters and glares at you, but before she can argue further, the doorbell rings with your pizza.

you giggle as you watch her shoulders fly up to her ears. "will you get it?" she asks meekly-- not wanting to be seen by a stranger in her cute pajamas.

you giggle and kiss her nose. "'course i will, sevi-bear."

you roll your eyes as you turn to answer the door. ferocious brown bear my ass. she's more like a teddy bear.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys

[badninken]

Scary Warlord of the Sea - Trafalgar Law

I want to talk about Law's introduction on Punk Hazard, and the fight that follows. Starting with this moment:

It's been an eternity since Law's last appearance in the story when this takes place, and it's the first time he shows up after the time skip. Last time he was seen he was a sleepy-faced dude with a polar bear friend who saved Luffy's life. A bit weird but not very intimidating. This Law though, is first seen skulking in the shadows, offering to help the local villain take care of a notoriously "insane, cruel, and merciless" bunch of marines that's come knocking.

Is Trafalgar Law a villain now? Is he in charge of this very evil-seeming science facility??

Well, he sure looks shady enough to be a villain, and the notoriously merciless marines seem scared out of their fucking minds to see him.

This scene is shorter in the manga but I love the way the anime drags it out by having Tashigi name-drop other Warlords to put his new title and status into perspective. The marines are literally screaming, crying, throwing up over how scary he is, retelling the story of his 100 hearts delivery, all while Law just stands there, smiling.

And that's the thing I wanna talk about. The standing and smiling and how he acts throughout this whole encounter. The way he's leaning against that wall just like he's leaning on his own reputation to do all the work for him. His job in this situation is to scare these people away without letting them know what's going on behind those doors.

If it weren't for Smoker standing his ground, the marines might have simply turned to flee at the sight of him, without Law even having to lift a finger to encourage them. Smoker seems to be having a hard time getting around Law's arguments too. They're both working under the government here and Law doesn't offer any outright hostility or threat for him to act on. Because Law is smart.

Law is handling this navy problem non-violently with minimal effort and it seems to be going according to plan.

But then the Straw hats happen!

And also giant abducted children used for science experiments he had no knowledge of what so ever because he's been minding his own fucking business.

And now he has to deal with taking the blame for horrifying child abuse AND looking like he blatantly lied about the Straw hats and also looking like he's incompetent enough to let all those dirty secrets pop out right behind him in a rain of fucking confetti at the worst possible moment.

(does not deny this)

He looks like he just aged ten years out of pure 'what the actual fuck'-stress. Like, where does he even begin with this situation? He's not responsible for any of that shit. He's just there to destroy some other evils, as discreetly as possible, but now he has to silence an entire unit of marines, just so the mess other people made won't ruin his own plans. Plans that's he's worked on for 13 years. Sounds like a typical Trafalgar Law day.

So he apologizes for saying something that wasn't true and then he handles the problem by causing massive property damage.

While not causing any lasting harm or even pain on a single one of his opponents.

The thing I think is so interesting with looking at Law's behavior in these interactions, is how he plays a role the entire time. He is not a villain, but he deliberately lets people believe that he is capable of great evil and cruel acts for his own gain, because that's his defense. It's a deterrent and a warning. His yellow black patterned coat fits that strategy perfectly, like the message of a wasp or poison dart frog. I can kill you, stay clear.

He keeps the cold, creepy act up the entire battle and makes it known that he could kill everyone there. Easily. He's never even close to trying though, and when he takes Smoker's heart he keeps it safe.

Law has no problem letting people believe horrible things about him if it can get him where he needs to go, but he's famously got a bunch of problems with people thinking he's a good person. I think that plays heavily into why he falls to being Doflamingo-cruel verbally to Tashigi when she goads him to kill her, but there are too many layers and things to say about that particular exchange so I'll save it for another time.

At the end of the day, it's all about this I think:

Law hearing people call him a creepy freak madman vs hearing Luffy say he's lucky to have met him.

[supercap2319]

"I'm a level 4 naughty lister? Are you fucking kidding me?" Jack O'Malley asked. He was kidnapped by this crazy Chinese lady and her team of scary guys with guns. But that wasn't the fucked up thing that Jack had seen. It was this little elf who wasn't so little. And a fucking talking polar bear.

Charlie Frost, younger brother of Grýla, the evil witch, joined the Special ops to keep the mythical world hidden away from the mortal one, but now that Santa Claus had been kidnapped, they needed all the information from Jack.

"Yes, you are. You were such a good boy up until high school, Jack. What happened?" Charlie asked.

"Puberty? Hormones? My dick? Boobs? Balls?" Jack jokes.

[veggie-miilk]

Hey bitches happy 2025 srry I was dead for a month, have sonichu/chaotic combo instead

I luv you rosy you deserve the fairy type 🧚‍♀️ ✨️

Chill surfer girl, bit of a bimbo but we love her for that. Made her an a azumarill cuz I like them more that marills srry

oKAY NGL I MADE THEM WAY TO CUNTY FOR THEIR OWN GOOD LIKE WTF?? also I can't be the only one that magi-chan just scream enby vibes. right?

Dude just can't sit the fuck down and relax, like

Oh lawd he a big boy (god bless you Courtney/SNT for doing a banger punchy redesign) I tried to make him less like a knuckles clone so I changed his body type and also his face. (Fun fact his based off of bark the polar bear)

Punchy looks scary but he's actually a big teddy bear and loves to crack jokes

K so like, I changed Blake (changed his name to Mimichu) isn't just a sonichu DNA clone, but is now (kinda) the same way shadow is made. Like imagine if one of the scientists the angle island super sonic mural and thought "Holy shit, Giovanni wanted something like this right? Now i dont have to do any extra work" Mimic was lowkey a fucked up experiment. Notably he doesn't have cheek pouches, so he can't harness electricity. And has to use wrist guards to harness electricity. I also changed Blake into a closeted trans girl but that's for later so sssSSSHHH

A plucky lil archer boy who can't be trusted by himslef (funny weed joke here) he's the shortest and youngest of the chaotic combo

Same kinda lore and backstory (ig) but now she's a lesbian. She looks like she got her shit together but shes crumbling inside. ITS OKAY GIRL, BE REBELLIOUS IT WONT HURT YOU 😭

She got this sick ass battle axe now (placeholder srry)

Think of the most chaotic dnd group imaginable and thas the chaotic combo. They mean well and save the day countless times, but good god do they cause massive property damage

Extra under cut

Sonichu concept

Magi but naky

[andersonsbby]

GENERAL!CHARLIE DALTON HEADCANNONS

MASTERLIST

because I haven’t posted in a bit.. but that’s for me…

a/n: this isn’t exactly x reader I just had a … random burst of motivation to write about Charlie so eat up my children, also in one hc there is a few sex jokes, other then that I don’t think… there is any warnings?

CHARLIE WOULD SWEAR UP AND DOWN THAT FERRIS BUELLER IS HIM AND HE IS HIM

“I am him, and he is me.” - said him bruh

I think his favorite color would be a really annoying color, just to be funny, and it’s not even his REAL favorite color he just likes to be annoying like, if you asked him what his fav color was he’d say some bullshit name like Glaucous or periwinkle just to be annoying, however on a real note, I think he really likes warm yellows, he cannot explain it he just does.

he hates uniform, if you know how Jake from b99 is with ties that’s exactly how he is, like, he HATES THEM so much, doesn’t like them, but however he’s forced to wear them </3 doesn’t like it though, literally sulks as he’s getting ready and Cameron is just like “ᶦᵗ’ˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ˢᵉʳᶦᵒᵘˢ” (I made it small cause he’s whispering it to himself LMFAOO)

on a … more odd note, I think if he was in our current time he would ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS say “I’m hard” or some stupid shit like when you mention something is long he’d say like “but im longer” or OMGOMG I SWEAR HE WOULD SAY “THATS what she said..” like okay Charlie, stop. Thanks.

his favorite animal is probably a otter. ngl he reminds me of a otter, not because he acts like one, just because he kinda looks like one?? But I think he’d be embarrassed of it being a otter so he’d lie about it and say some like big scary animal like a fucking polar bear, sorry I just have to stick him to that aquatic time animal. Like you know that TikTok trend where it’s like “if you had asked me what ____ is I’d say ___ but if you knew me on a deeper level you’d know it’s ____” or something like that, I feel like that’s another way to explain it

I think when Charlie likes something he immediately thinks he like owns it and is obligated to his opinion being right about it like, if you liked a song he likes he would be like “…..okay but did you know ___ no.. you didn’t that’s why I’m better…”

HES VERY COMPETITIVE OMG, one time he and Knox were doing some challenge and it was like whoever could eat something the fastest and he literally almost choked from trying to GULF it down, safe to say he won… but at what cost 💔

I think he’d genuinely like … sculpting? like aslong as he isn’t being forced to do anything I think he will have a lot of fun with sculpting whatever he can, using every little last bit of creativity his mind can handle. ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ ᴵ’ᵐ ˢᵉˡᶠ ᵖʳᵒʲᵉᶜᵗᶦⁿᵍ… ᵇᵘᵗ….

[shyravenns]

Okay but, is the pow that Price is guarding a shapeshifter, or does he just have a very scary fanged smirk? Could you imagine the first time Price sees him in polar bear form? He really doesn't stand a chance. 🤍

Oh, I'm particularly obsessed with the idea that Nikolai is a shapeshifter/cryptid who just loves to fuck with people.

He might be part of some sort of Russian folklore that's been passed down by generations, but he's definitely not human and he probably has a history of picking up pretty man and woman who catch his eye every century or two.

He'll show Price's supervisors a regular non fanged grin, but then let the mask slip just for Price and Price alone 🤭

Price really doesn't stand a chance whether or not he truley understands what's going on, and Nik is more than happy to play this little game with him.

[wishing-stones]

how would everybody (or just the boys if you feel like it) react if they managed to, just. like. somehow meet or interact with 8 year old Dream and Nightmare? like, back before the incident

Ouch.

Killer hardly believes what he's seeing. He's heard about Nightmare looking a lot like Dream before the curse happened, but seeing them together is a wildly different beast. He thinks it's cute how Nightmare tries to defend Dream by pushing his twin behind him, but... Killer is shockingly okay with kids sometimes, so he'd talk them both down. Chances are he wouldn't get out of that without a flower crown.

Dust kind of.... absorbs the situation and sits down to talk with the two of them. He's quiet and gentle. Nightmare is pretty quick to get closer because he can sense the latent negativity Dust has. He tries to play tiny therapist, and it doesn't really go his way... but Dust will indulge them and make daisy chains. He also might go threaten the villagers within an inch of their lives to leave the twins the fuck alone.

Axe is... let's face it, pretty scary. He'd come bearing treats, though, and once it's apparent that he just looks scary, they're both a lot more trusting of him. Dream's attempts at trying to fix the hole in his skull are cute, but Axe has to physically pick him up and set him down to keep him away from it. He teaches them about some simple edible plants and how to make stuff from them without the need for a proper kitchen.

Cross sees the opportunity and takes it. If he can't fix what went wrong in his AU... the least he can do is help someone else try to fix theirs. He appoints himself their guard, so they don't have to worry about anything because he will take care of it. He winds up with a lot of flower jewelry, and before too long, his hood trim is mostly flowers. He absolutely steers people away from the tree and sometimes follows Dream into town. Still... he can only delay the inevitable.

Baggs is very confused, but puts two and two together quite fast. He's very gentle with children, and treats their injuries and scrapes better than they can. He also is adamant about their communication, and facilitates them talking to each other about their problems and frustrations. Just because they're children doesn't mean they get a free pass from therapy. He is also delighted to turn people away from the tree, and... for some reason, they don't really come back unless they really need help.

Ink sticks around for a little bit, does some fun things with them, but he absolutely will not get involved in altering the timeline. He can't. No matter how much it sucks, he can't intervene in canon events. It's in the script, and he can't alter that. He'd make himself scarce before it happened, though. No need to have that resentment follow him.

Blue is the polar opposite and would do everything in his power to protect the mini version of one of his best friends and his twin brother. Blue with a reason to guard something that fiercely is a dangerous prospect, and he's not afraid to put the smackdown on someone for being a jackass to little Nightmare. However, like Cross.... he can only delay the inevitable, not prevent it.

[cornerofhell]

What kind of centaurs would the slashers be, you should draw ittttt

I have been VERY busy over the holidays so it will be a bit before I draw anything..... BUT I WILL PUT MY THOUGHTS

Honestly this will probably just be slashers as animals but with tropes from Centaurworld

Charles Lee Ray - Crocodile-taur. Probably a saltwater. - Crocs are known as some of the most dangerous creatures and have purposefully hunted humans before, with very brutal techniques. And it'd fit Chucky to a T. - Probably short back legs for a centaur body, but anyone ever makes fun, he'll just bite the shit out of them

Santa Claus - POLAR BEARTAUR 100% - Polar Bears are scary fucking creatures with their strength, and ofc with the north pole being in such a cold climate, it absolutely fits - Would probably ignore the coldtaurs unless he wanted to torment/eat them

Jack Frost - Leopard Seal-taur. - Jack's kills are brutal. Have you seen what a Leopard Seal will do to a penguin? Not to mention the stare. - Stays both in the sea, and by the coldtaurs (Mostly by Santa). Probably would try to make Gendale worse.

Gregory Tudor - Flying Fox-taur - Likes to eat sweet things (fruit) and... other things (insects) that sometimes creeps people out - Has crashed several times into trees of the forest, but still manages to catch plenty of bugs. As for Lubdan, I have no idea, something between realms maybe?

[eroguron0nsense]

Looking for confirmation of this weirdly widespread belief that Law was originally intended to be a villain?

I hear a lot of people who make One Piece content arguing that Law was probably originally meant to be an antagonist and that Oda only changed this because of how popular he was, and it's... baffling? I know that Oda introduced them kind of on a whim on Sabaody and didn't expect to integrate them into the series anywhere near as much as they did, but the substantiation for this theory seems to be that "Law spends a lot of time smirking in Sabaody and has a scary epithet" which I understand but I personally think seems pretty lacking since, well,

Law isn't the Supernova in Sabaody who actually gets the most villainous foreshadowing, with much more emphasis being placed on Kidd's willingness to murder civilians, and even though he gets a kind of freaky ability he also frees Jean-Bart from bondage and has fucking adorable polar bear friend who he has a funny rapport with and it instantly makes him and his crew seem more appealing? I get that the Dr Heart Stealer theme and his general pre-Marineford/Postwar demeanour *might* lend to that interpretation but the vibe I got from Law was less "genuinely sadistic" and more "this is a shit-eating stoner pirate in his early 20s". He's definitely very different from post timeskip Law and even Marineford/PostWar Law, and has a few mildly menacing lines/loosely implied Doflamingo connection, but I hesitate to say that he was originally conceived of as a villainous character based off extremely limited information and I think that interpretation requires you to ignore certain aspects of Law's character in the arc he's introduced in that might conflict with it. Again, I absolutely think Oda realized that he could make Law a more popular or thematically/interesting character or that he liked the new conception of Law and started writing him differently, but I doubt Oda hard-pivoted from Villain Law to making him a kinda morally ambiguous cool guy character halfway through Sabaody/right after we met him just because of some initial positive fan reception. Edit: I also feel like this stems from how he's described based on secondhand descriptions in newspapers who are very clearly framing him as a criminal? And people just forget that the World Government's descriptions of their enemies (e.g. Devil Child, Surgeon of Death) are not and never have been meant to be taken as 100% reliable or reflective of their characters

[the-maid-of-witchwood]

The drama students as TNTL #117 (aka the StarKid episode)

Please, feel free to rewatch the most iconic TNTL as I describe who would do what bit for nobody’s amusement other than my own:

Jeff’s ‘guy doing standup’ - 0:42

This is Rudolph. He crashed rehearsals one day and while they were doing their warmup games, Trevor convinced him to have a go. And then spat immediately like the supportive boyfriend he is.

The cyclists - 1:50

Caitlyn - Amanda

Trevor - Noah

Josie & Rose - Angela & Lauren

Caitlyn just whips them all accidentally with her hair repeatedly and this is probably the reason Kev laughs, not so much the actual bit.

The polar bear and his son - 2:48

This is Brooke. (Similar case to Rudolph, she just crashed rehearsals but she decided to have a turn of her own accord). Because it’s ironic that the fucking arsonist is complaining about ice melting.

Audition for Republican lawmaker - 3:35

Trevor definitely had an idea but forgot half-way through and is just stumbling to get to the finish line.

Caitlyn is simultaneously Chanse, Arasha and Mariah forcing him to continue with the bit, even though she already spat minutes ago.

The band on tour for 50 years - 4:40

Josie - Angela

Rudolph - Corey

Brooke - Lauren

This is a bit Josie has canonically been doing for two whole years and it kills every time.

There’s actual lore behind the band. Josie definitely has a whole sketch about them, if not a short play or something.

The band on tour for 75 years - 6:10

Same as above.

It’s funny because Josie completely fucks up her own bit by forgetting what the hell she named her own characters. Fortunately the two non-actors don’t even notice and just carry on.

Baby-head at Taco Bell - 7:00

Kevin - Chanse

Caitlyn - Josh

Rose - Arasha

This performance was a lot more drawn out. It’s Cait and Kev. You know they had a shit ton of props, probably a set piece and at least one costume change in there. And also…

Grace, not part of this, just a concerned onlooker: But why are you a baby head?

Kevin: BECAUSE COMEDY, GRACE

The rat and his collection of regular/big objects - 8:09

This entire bit is just Kevin aggressively trying to get Josie to spit.

If you saw a man with shit on him, looking for his mom, what would you do? - 9:06

Caitlyn only really does pretty and sexy, so I can’t see her doing it. She’d definitely pitch it to someone else but probably wouldn’t dress up like that herself. So I’m gonna say it’s one she has Josie or Rose do.

Horny McDonalds worker - 10:19

Ruth - Arasha

Pete - Chanse

They mistakenly let Ruth do a bit.

Pete was the only one who would do something with her.

Belmo Keep - 11:30

Trevor - Jon

Caitlyn - Mariah

This is them in a nutshell.

I don’t need to say anything more.

Josh’s ‘spilling the dirt’ song - 12:17

Plot twist, I gave the band student ocs, so it’s still a Josh.

“Is Brooke that hyper?” Yeah, just look at her, she’s scary

“Is Ruth actually bald?” Yeah, no, she’s very queer and hairy

“How tall is the boy Kevin?” Taller than Conan O’Brian

“Is Rudolph actually gay?” Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s lying

“Is Trevor really that dopey?” No, he’s faking it for likes

“Is Pete tutoring Steph?” No, they’re faking it for likes

“Which one was in the rock band?” Oh, you’re thinking of Rosary

“I thought that was Caitlyn?” No, Caitlyn’s just a liar

“Can you give this love letter to my favourite drama kid Kev?”

For the last time, no, Josie, give it to him yourself! *pointing* He’s right there

(I’m in an airport, I don’t have the mind space to make it all rhyme or figure out Darren and Anthony but that’s the vague rewrite).

Josh and Josie are best friends.

Ketchup Perry, a Katy Perry knock-off - 14:16

Kevin in a nutshell.

The band on tour for 150 years - 15:19

Rose - Arasha

Trevor - Jon

Caitlyn - Mariah

Josie laughs for this. Like, on the floor laughing. Kevin’s pissed that this is what cracked her and he wasn’t part of it.

[sanjisprincesswifey]

2,3, and 23 for the ask game with zoro and torao? 💖

2. favorite canon thing about this character?

i got about a million answers for law tbh, but i love that he is, canonically, a LOSER. i love loser men lol. also i love that he has a weakness for things that are cute, like he’s so bad at pretending he’s scary when he rants about his comic books and can’t resist a big, fluffy polar bear. 

for zoro, i enjoy how he always treats girls with a softness that men don’t receive. we see it countless times when he helps nami or robin or hiyori in wano and i looove that. like, yassss my gentle himbo !!!!!

3. least favorite canon thing about this character?

i hate that law is quite literally the most traumatized he could possibly be. like bro is fucked up and i hate seeing him suffer !!! 

i dislike how serious they made zoro post timeskip, like i understand why it happened, but i miss his laugh and smile pre timeskip 😫

23. favorite picture of this character?

any picture of law in the white tank and blue feathered coat !! he looks so fking goodddd & any picture of zoro from film z because that man looks so delish in glasses

send me a question and a character!

[unclefard]

shut the fuck up about australia

"australia australia! nope land! too many dangerous animals!"

let's see... they got:

-a bunch of snakes and spiders

-dingoes

-kangaroos

-like 2 crocodiles

-venomous ocean shit:

africa and south asia have all that + big angry herbivores + actual large land predators +political/economic instability, terrorists, war, and shitty societal structures. i would take living in australia over pretty much anywhere else in the world. i definitely wouldn't want to go swimming there, but i wouldn't want to go swimming in the american southeast or basically anywhere else warm enough for crocodilians and lots of venomous shit.

aside from the ocean shit i would be most afraid of going hiking somewhere in the central deserts and getting lost. yeah, they have very venomous snakes, but the snakes that are most dangerous are not the ones that have the deadliest venom but the ones that are extremely common, well camouflaged, and readily bite: Big Four (Indian snakes) - Wikipedia. the humble saw-scaled viper, to which more fatalities are attributed than any other snake, is far deadlier to man's existence than the taipan: List of fatal snake bites in Australia - Wikipedia. not to mention Australia is a developed country with good hospitals and shit.

now, australia does get pretty funky:

memes about it are fun and all, and yeah, there's some scary shit there (i would never touch the ocean), but the problem with memes is because people tend to have a social media induced goldfish attention span and don't want to actually read anything, so they build their opinions, beliefs, etc off of memes. thinking australia is the scariest place on earth is harmless and mostly a joke, but when you build your worldview off of little comedic blurbs of information your worldview is usually bad. there's a reason a lot of far-right bullshit thrives off of innocuous little memes and social media clowns. i'm not saying i'm perfect or enlightened or anything because my worldview is that of an angry, self-centered hermit, and i too have the social media induced goldfish attention span. however, it's important to think and read a little more if you want to/are going to form an opinion/belief on something. it's too easy to see a few little bits of information, take them to heart, and subconsciously decide you are well-informed on the topic and your emotionally induced beliefs are absolute.

#

recently they made "direwolves" and i made fun of it. they don't even seem to fit the pop-culture perception of direwolves, which are basically just wargs, let alone the real animal which would have looked more like south america's modern wild dog species:

these colossal direwolves just look like regular ass wolves. i went to northwest trek sometimes when i lived in western wa and they had wolves that looked just like them: A Tale of Two Wolves - Northwest Trek. it's been said already, a lot, that it's a shitty lie, a shallow grab for pr, so on and so forth.

my problem with these wolves is that there is no real reason to make genetically engineered apex predators besides selling them to rich people as pets. yeah it's cool, yeah eventually there might be gene animal zoos, but these aren't the real dire wolves. they weren't raised by direwolves. they can't fulfill the niche direwolves did. polar bears and brown bears are closely related enough that they can interbreed, but a polar bear is highly specialized for a very particular way of life. if you wiped out polar bears and engineered a slightly larger, white brown bear to replace them, it wouldn't work because the brown bear, however white and large, still has the brown bear software.

there's no reason to introduce these direwolves where actual normal wolves live either, as normal wolves, despite being perhaps the most charismatic apex predators, already have enough to worry about (habitat destruction, ranchers wanting them dead, etc). are we slowly inching towards some kind of designer ecosystems where rich techbro fucks release shitty pop culture ideals of extinct predators, because our modern and already heavily imperiled ecosystems aren't good enough?

now i think there is a lot of value in this kind of work. we have a number of large, charismatic animals that are on extinction's door, already opening it up and starting to walk in. a company like colossal could focus their efforts on stuff like: Yangtze giant softshell turtle - Wikipedia (please do this evil corporation please these are the best animals ever to exist (besides triceratops)) and Sumatran rhinoceros - Wikipedia. not to mention a number of animals who we know for sure were wiped out by humans, like the thylacine and the steller's sea cow. i wouldn't be opposed to creating solid proxies of very recently extinct animals like the thylacine and releasing them in viable habitat, as these kinds of animals should still be here.

i've heard that shit like the direwolves and mammoth is mostly to get funding, public attention, etc, so they can work on stuff like the red wolves and thylacine. if true i can respect that. i'll take selling designer wolves to protect actual modern animals in danger of extinction. however, some of the comments by the evil company people suggest a very shitty view on extinction and bringing back those animals, the surface level bullshit fucking jurassic park was criticizing. the whole "these aren't the real dinosaurs, they're the ones people expect". the ceo apparently went on the joe rogan show or podcast or whatever variant of phlegm it is, so there's that too. at least horner's chickenasaur had/has some sort of scientific benefit.

i could see in the future them making a "deinosuchus" (enlarged alligator) or "titanoboa" (enlarged anaconda). perhaps a tiger with enlarged canines. oversized bison and elk with slightly larger horns and antlers. stating the obvious but you can't bring back extinct animals. when they're dead, they're dead, and gone. deinosuchus may have been essentially a giant alligator, but scaling up a modern alligator won't make a deinosuchus. you can make it forty feet long. you can alter its proportions to match the skeleton. it can look exactly like how we imagine deinosuchus looked. but it won't be a deinosuchus.

there's no reason to "bring back" the vast majority of extinct animals aside from entertainment, as you're not really bringing back the animal, you're making an imitation, and putting it in a world in which it has no place other than as an oligarch's pet.

I will say however that I think/believe that a considerable amount of the Pleistocene megafauna should still be here. The whole "it was climate change" argument genuinely pisses me off. People are really good at killing animals. They should shut up about it, but they are. You have two and a half continents full of large, slow-reproducing animals who are dependent on large, stable habitats and are naive to hominid predators, already made vulnerable by the advance/retreat of the ice sheets (which would have caused widespread climate change). there's a reason that all the modern ecosystems with a lot of large mammal diversity roughly coincide with the distribution of homo erectus:

the megafauna of africa+south asia were adapted to humanity. they knew/know how to behave around people. it's a known fact that mammals heavily alter their behavior in areas of high human presence, becoming more secretive, nocturnal, etc. if a highly seasonal, arid habitat with extreme droughts can support this:

then the lush, temperate forests and plains of north america can support this:

of course big animals are vulnerable to major changes in climate/habitat. i think that, if humans were magically not part of the equation at the end of the pleistocene, there still would have been a significant decrease in large animal diversity around the world. but north america would have had more than just deer. everyone says mammoths, which i think is fair. i think without humans we would have still had mammoths way up in northern canada and russia. it's very telling that the last mammoths lived on an isolated little island. that island wasn't prime mammoth habitat. it just had no humans.

large animals are vulnerable to change, but they are still very adaptable, and often better at surviving in and exploiting different habitats than smaller ones. black bears, for instance, can be found in the pacific northwest's temperate rainforests, florida's swamps, the desert scrubland of arizona, and the rocky mountains. ungulates from africa and asia thrive in texas and arizona. there is a feral breeding population of rhea, a south american flightless bird, in germany. mastodons were temperate forest browsers. there were temperate forests then, and there are temperate forests now. by all accounts the mastodon should still be here. the foliage of the ice age is mostly the same foliage as now. there are plenty of relict plants adapted to be distributed by giant herbivores left in north america.

i think that, without humans, the american megafauna would be much more diverse. some would have gone missing, but i think for the most part the ecosystems would be pretty similar. i think good candidates are actually the mastodons+cuvieronis. their diets suggest a preference for the habitats that still cover north america. sloths are another good one. i think they suffered similarly to giant tortoises (these used to be found on the mainland continents) and glyptodonts: their defensive measures, so effective against all other animals, made them helpless to humans. especially seeing as many of the ground sloths were reasonably sized and probably lived in the same kind of tropical forest and savanna south america has today. also, just like mammoths, their last examples were island dwarfs.

mastodons/sloths/etc did die out earlier than mammoths, which i attribute to their living in temperate habitats and thus being more accessible (vulnerable) to humans. easier to find, easier to ambush. mammoths would be living in wide open, freezing tundra. they'd see you coming, at least. mastodons would be lumbering through the mild hardwood forests, with plenty of nearby shrubbery to conceal hunters. i can see the changing climate hurting the more temperate-specialized of the ice age giants, but not outright wiping them out. especially in south america's tropical savannas, which, like africa and south asia, would probably be relatively insulated from the effects of the melting ice.

i don't think people systematically worked to extirpate the megafauna. maybe the large predators, especially if they had no fear of people. it's commonly thought that hunter-gatherer societies have no impact on their environment and live in complete harmony with nature, but they often heavily alter/impact their environment. apparently native americans practiced routine burning to clear forests and make it more suitable for travel and wild game. south american people extensively modifed theirs as well.

that aside, you don't have to completely wipe out mammoths and sloths, rather extensive hunting just needs to fragment and cripple their breeding populations. killing a mature bull elephant has disproportionate effects on the local population. killing a mammoth matriarch could easily cripple a herd. or, if heavily hunted, a herd could not have enough members left to effectively defend each other. with such wide ranges hunting pressure could make it extremely hard, impossible even, for large, slow-reproducers to mate. if you still have mastodons, but it's a couple scattered, tiny groups seperated by hundreds of miles, you probably wont get more mastodons.

yeah, i think mastodons should still lumber north america. giant sloths should still lurk in south america. a few mammoths should join the reindeer in canada. we should experience a greater diversity of large ungulates, and the predators that hunted them. they should still be here, but they shouldn't come back.

there is a massive struggle to preserve what we have, everywhere. the americas are struggling to preserve what wild spaces and megafauna they have left, and there's a major push against it. if you cant be trusted with wolves and bison you shouldn't get dire wolves and mastodons. the places they could live are so heavily fragmented, interfered with, and already imperiled that they could not reliably support populations of these creatures. dire wolves aren't tundra animals, and they're hunters of animals that mostly no longer exist. mastodons could technically, i think, still inhabit most of north america, but there's not a whole lot of extensive, lowland forest/scrubland left for them. they'd alter whatever national parks they'd be released in, perhaps detrimentally for the modern animals already struggling to exist.

now, i am not entirely opposed to the mammoths, mostly because if we could hypothetically get a modern "mammoth" there's still a considerable amount of mostly undisturbed tundra for them to inhabit, and they would have a beneficial effect on preserving permafrost. yes, they'd just be fat, hairy asian elephants. my issue isn't the non-authenticity but rather that there's a lot of issues ethics wise as well as adapting these mammoths to being mammoths. fat hairy asian elephants would still eat and act like asian elephants, tropical forest browsers, not tundra grass enthusiasts. this is where i take issue. more than likely it would be a long time and a lot of suffering test mammoths before we got an actual viable mammoth proxy that could live and act like a mammoth. even then, it would mostly just be for spectacle. the permafrost effect thing could be done with the northern herbivores we have today. it's one thing to make bulkier wolves or a bigger crocodile. creating a mammoth would likely involve a lot of suffering on the part of the prototypes.

the world of the pleistocene should in large part still be here. but it's not. the world has changed massively since. what we think of as pristine, untouched nature is often a recent development, either heavily managed and altered by the original human tenants, or barren, emptied ecosystems filling in the gaps as best they can. it's been said a lot but the focus should be on protecting what we have.

no half-decent wildlife program, department, or conservation group is going to want to reintroduce pop culture Pleistocene proxies into their parks and reserves. no good zoo will likely be able to afford them. it's not an apocalyptic jurassic world "folly of man" scenario. it's just more stupid useless clickbait. maybe in the future, as genetic engineering gets better, and we can do more than designer wolves, it'll be a problem. people will decide that their artificial animals are more deserving of the world than the originals, and we'll get butchered designer ecosystems of artificially bloated populations of furry oc megafauna.

i think that is a good ways off, however. so far we've got normal ass wolves and hairy mice. both could be produced with a couple decades of selective breeding.

on the other hand:

technology has developed incredibly fast.

you can track the development of the generative ai with those stupid fucking ai cat videos

"meow meow meow meow" going from still images to brief, animated clips. the fucking cats run and cook food. it's still shit but the shit is getting bigger, riper.

i've always had a subconscious assumption that the world would remain mostly the same over the course of my life, leaving me free to focus on my little sphere of life. when i was little i imagined the future as centuries later. i didn't think of ai or gene-modified animals. i remember seeing a documentary with horner's chickenasaur and even then i thought it was bullshit. i always assumed the environment, political structure, and technology of the world would sit and fester in comfortable stagnancy. unfortunately things constantly change, frequently aping the past but change nonetheless. i assume the world will be much different in a few decades. for a single person, facing it all by themselves, in its grand bloat of distortion, lies, and selfish indulgence, this is not a pleasant prospect.

endangered species pose a threat to the limitless wealth extraction that the world's greedy, understimulated, underfulfilled fucks have not yet figured out wont make them feel better. but it's okay! we'll make new ones, better ones! you remember the cool ice wolves from your medieval drama thing! They're real now! We don't need those raggy ass normal wolves around anyways! africa a little boring? how 'bout some trexes! you can pay to shoot mammoths in siberia and sabercats in texas! i wont lie that in a way it is cool. but, regardless, fuck this shit.

[makowo]

As a much longer follow up to this post, here's this... My Ideas for Two Minecraft Mods ^_^ this got really long so it's under the cut

Circle of Life: Rudimentary mod that adds a basic ecosystem, with as few mobs added as possible but enough to stand out as a bare bones animal mod.

Rather than mobs just existing independently of each other with the player as the focal point, focus in on more instances of stuff like wolves hunting sheep. Foxes hunt rabbits + rabbits are more widespread, wild cats/ocelots should spawn more plentifully and have birds and wild mice to hunt, polar bears should have seals to hunt, etc.

These prey animals can have their own niches, like eating plants and spreading their seeds (making grass/ferns/crops grow naturally and make grass more lively), seals eat fish and may be difficult to kill on your own but with the help of a polar bear, but they can be easily killed and drop seal fat that acts as coal or dried into leather.

Bears and foxes should be tamable as alternatives to wolves and cats respectively. Bears are focused on combat, as they hit harder and have more health (could be mounted as well?), as well as have a faster swim speed. However, they aren't useful in smaller areas, and you can only have two at a time or they get territorial with each other. Foxes are similar to cats in that they don't do combat but maybe could help find buried items or something, tying themselves into archeology. -

Darker Days Ahead: A larger progression mod that adds the Deep Dark as a secondary endgame zone to follow up to the End, and not a glorified treasure zone with a scary guy in it. (I know there's already kinda one of these that adds a deep dark dimension but I hate that mod bcs it's very aimless and bare bones atm)

This mod would have new structures, new types of crops that only cultivate with the aid of sculk, new items for scaring mobs away from you with the call of a Warden Horn, a new set of armor with a focus on utility, and potentially a new dimension which the sculk infection originates from. Definitely more but that's what's off the top of my head

The Ancient City is larger and has more signs of having been a city rather than just a castle sorta area. I'm imagining tying it into villager lore, so there would be decrepit but more advanced forms of villager buildings scattered around or above deep dark biomes, with the Warden hinted at being the basis of the iron golems villagers make.

The main new crop could be a fucked up form of glow berries that spread darkness instead of light, and will give darkness/wither when eaten. They could also be crafted into a 2x2 grid and made into a bundle of berries that can be thrown and make mobs in a small area around the landing point unable to lock onto you and take wither damage for a short time. They only grow on walls made of sculk-infested stone/deepslate, which is made by crafting stone/deepslate in the center of a crafting table with a sculk vein on each space directly adjacent to it. They also spawn naturally in the deep dark villages, but crumble into nothing unless mined with silk touch.

The Warden Horn isn't obtained by killing the Warden, but is crafted with a goat horn, a sculk shrieker, and an item that's dropped randomly by Wardens randomly after taking damage, maybe a part of its flesh or one of the things in its chest. It has a very limited amount of uses (repaired with experience via natural mending) but can be used as a defensive tool to temporarily scare and de-aggro any hostile/neutral mobs in a radius around the player, making them run like skeletons with wolves or creepers with cats. Doesn't work on Nether mobs as they wouldn't know about the Warden naturally.

The armor set would be primarily focused on utility, to not compromise on netherite being the endgame armor. Each piece of armor has its own ability, similar to turtle helmets. The helmet allows the wearer to highlight mobs around them and through walls when they make noise, the chestplate provides temporary Resistance 1 and a small damage boost whenever you gain experience, leggings give Speed 2, Jump Boost 1, and small attack speed boost after taking damage, and boots make you walk without making noise. Wearing the entire armor set gives you Absorption 1 in areas under light level 0 and you can get closer to aggro mobs without them spotting you, with the Warden becoming entirely passive to you unless attacked. There could be tools as well, but I don't have ideas for them right now. I think this would have stats slightly lower than diamond to balance out its strengths, since you can mix it with stronger items for certain benefits.

The new dimension is kinda a point of contention for me because I'm not sure of what it could offer. Definitely a new boss, NOT a new faction for trading, but it could relate to enchantments/magic considering experience plays such a large role here and enchants have no present origin point.

That's all I have for now. one day I will make these ideas or commission them when i get money.

[pennys-rose-garden]

unlimited shapeshifting shenanigans

turning into a mouse to sneak around

turning into an exact copy of someone to mock them

turning into someone’s dead relative in an argument (classic prank)

turning into a cheetah to race cars

turning into a hawk to pick up squirrels, not to eat them, but just to fling them around in the air like toys

turning into a lemur to climb trees

growing a giraffe’s head to reach high places

growing wings to fly

impersonating a public figure, potentially with tremendous consequences

turning into a tiger and scratching up walls and doors when you get pissed off

roaring just to hear your own voice as an animal

turning into a puppy to make people feel sorry for you

turning into a goat to climb

shapeshifting for cosplay reasons

turning into a magical being to fuck shit up

oh what’s that? you’re filming and the actor you need isn’t available? i gotchu fam

experimenting with gender

perching on top of buildings in the form of a dragon

you can hiss at people and they’ll actually know not to fuck with you

turning into a polar bear to scare the shit out of people

turning into a fennec fox to stay cool on a hot day

turning into an otter to swim more efficiently

turning into a seal to stay warm in the winter

speaking in someone else’s voice and freaking people out

tapetum lucidum to be Scary

seeing in the dark

sensing heat signatures

see someone with food you really want? turn into a seagull and divebomb them so you can swipe it

turning into a cat to pounce on small animals and then let them go

being able to recognize objects by scent

grazing as a horse or a cow whenever you get hungry (free food is always right there)

chasing friends in the form of a wolf

new people are like “yo why do i always see this wild boar walking around,” your friends are like “oh that’s xyz”

turning into someone’s crush to terrorize them

impersonating someone who can’t show up to class/a meeting/etc. and then updating them on everything they missed later

being able to write super accurate xenofiction

turning into a snake so you can chill around your homie’s neck

turning into a fly to listen in on important conversations

turning into an albatross to travel overseas

turning into a big scary dog so your friends feel safe walking at night

turning into a horse so you can give your friends rides around town and they don’t have to walk

turning into a mule so you can carry people’s bags for them

turning into celebrities so you can get into exclusive events

turning into a sea serpent to explore the ocean

turning into a local cryptid to be a menace

turning into a long-dead celebrity to fuel theories that they’re somehow still alive

hanging out at a zoo and seeing how long it takes anyone to notice that One Of These Things Just Doesn’t Belong

turning into a reptile or a bird every month so you can ride out your period

having no one “true form”

playing with your pet as one of their species

talking as an animal and watching people freak the fuck out

being able to do a spot-on impression of marge simpson

turning into a kangaroo to get somewhere faster

never having to worry about safety again

wagging or lashing your tail

turning into an alligator to absorb the sun