#plus what's your definition of problematic

[hotvintagepoll]

Trying to get more into old movies because of this blog (I only know about half of these people and feel like a poser) do you have good recommendations on where to start or is it just a situation where you watch stuff and find what you like as you go?

you are not a poser <3 i myself am just here for the hotties.

here is my quick and dirty list of fun films to start with if you're new to old movies. and of course if you like one of these, do try to find more stuff as you go! there's no bad way to try out old movies.

(this list is not official and is SUPER quick. i'm tagging for content warnings where I can, but if I forgot something let me know.)

"I want to watch something SILLY!"

The Court Jester (Danny Kaye, Angela Lansbury, Glynis Johns, Basil Rathbone)—everyone in this movie is hot. everyone is in fancy medieval dress, which makes them hotter. everyone here is very silly. You can stream this on Hoopla, last time i checked, so you might be able to stream it through your library!

Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang (Dick Van Dyke, Sally Ann Howes, Lionel Jeffries, Gert Frobe)—some people hate this movie and to them I say What Is Wrong With You. dick van dyke is a hot absent minded inventor who lives in a windmill with his two adorable children, his gorgeous sheepdog, and a grandfather who is categorically useless. it feels like the two films mary poppins (1964) and willy wonka (1971) had a baby and that baby was born on roller skates singing an old broadway showtune. this one has been showing up in some odd places lately—I think you can catch it on Tubi or Hoopla? It's definitely around.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (Jane Powell, Julie Newmar, Howard Keel, Russ Tamblyn)—my problematic fave. everytime i watch this i change my mind whether it's a sexist pile of garbage or a feminist paean, and fellas, today we're on the feminist paean bandwagon!! jane powell's millie is truly the star of the movie, she is the hero she drives the plot the narrative is on her side, and besides all that there are seven very hot men dancing next to her and six beautiful ladies making me bisexual. (on Tubi last I checked.)

The Duke Is Tops (Lena Horne, Laurence Criner)—I get a huge kick out of watching Laurence Criner and Ralph Cooper swindle everybody while also trying to put on a show; there's just something silly and sincere here, plus you get a ~musical extravaganza~ at the end when all is right as rain again. Free on YouTube I think?

"I want to watch something DRAMATIC that may make me FEEL SOMETHING."

Witness for the Prosecution (Marlene Dietrich, Tyrone Power, Elsa Lanchester)—I love a campy twisty turny mystery, don't you? :) I'm not going to talk about this one much because it's better to go in blind, but if you like Agatha Christie stories you'll probably like this.

To Be Or Not To Be (Carole Lombard, Jack Benny)—always relevant, always makes me laugh, also makes me cry. this takes place in poland during wwii so big tw for nazi imagery and mentions. (don't worry. this movie fucking hates nazis.)

Seven Samurai (Toshiro Mifune)—this one is Great Cinema™™™™™™™™™™™ for a goddamned reason

"I want to watch some stuff with the scrungles in it!"

Mr. Washington Goes to Town (Mantan Moreland)—I've been checking out more of Mantan Moreland's stuff because every time I see him in something I think he's delightful, and I really enjoyed this silly-spooky comedy. Does this story have a brain cell? No. Are the special effects and goofy slapstick fun? Yes. This is a fun example of an all-Black cast in a film that was made for Black audiences, and is a striking counterpoint to the stereotypical representation Black actors were given in white-targeted films, showing the enormous amount of talent and artistry the racist studios missed out on by excluding these actors. This is not A Great Film™ but it's still A Fun Time,™ with a goofy Laurel and Hardy type vibe. (It's free on Youtube.)

The Red Shoes (Robert Helpmann, Leonide Massine, Marius Goring)—hey kid, you wanna watch something fucked up? This movie is so fucked up. It's about ballet, it's about art, it's about technicolor, it's about dance and toxic relationships and making theatre and nightmares and ambition and death. A lot of these recs tend on the silly side (because I tend on the silly side) but this one is actually Serious Film and will definitely help you chat up Martin Scorsese should you ever meet him. Big content warning if you can't handle dark themes right now—this movie's pretty dark, not in the gore way but in the Haunting Creepy Image way. (it's also free on Tubi and Kanopy most of the time.)

The Invisible Man (Claude Rains)—my favorite of the vintage horror flicks and a great introduction to Most Dunked On Hot Vintage Man of All Time, Claude Rains. (it helps that you barely ever see him!) Very very silly but the special effects are just plain fun. (I think this is on Internet Archive in full?)

"Can I just get more hot people please?"

Flower Drum Song (James Shigeta, Nancy Kwan, Miyoshi Umeki, Jack Soo)—there are so many unbelievably hot people in this movie which is somehow very good (thanks to its cast) and also incredibly, horrifically bad (thanks to its white team of writers, directors, and producers). on the one hand, it's a mostly Asian cast in a big budget, beautifully designed MGM style musical! there's dream sequences, lots of fun dancing, crooning Rogers & Hammerstein cabaret moments, and just charm galore. it is also freighted with so. many orientalist assumptions and stereotypes, absolutely ridiculous shit that the writers ABSOLUTELY should have known better about in the 60s and nonetheless carried into this. this is a hard one to recommend because I loved this cast, and I loved seeing them in a context beyond the usual stereotypical bit parts so many of them frequently were limited to—yet the movie itself perpetuates so many stereotypes on its own it can be a hard one to watch, and I totally understand if it does not work for most people. tl;dr watch for Shigeta, Kwan, Umeki, and the others, but content warnings galore for one (really bad) case of yellowface casting, orientalist tropes, extremely stereotypical character types, etc. (On Tubi/Kanopy last I checked.)

Charade (Cary Grant, Audrey Hepburn, James Coburn)—this movie feels like a Hitchcock movie except I had a ton of fun watching it, which I can't always say for a Hitch film. (I told you my taste was bad.) This one is free on YouTube and thank god because Audrey wears a lot of Givenchy, Cary Grant wears spectacles and keeps almost dying, it's very exciting and thrilling and funny and sexy. I don't think there are any content warnings but it's been a minute since I watched it. (I should go watch it right now.)

The Big Sleep (Humphrey Bogart, Lauren Bacall)—they're so hot askjdljhjghladkghjksahkhgslkahgshskjhgsalhgsahgjh. i like this one a lot :)

[this is NOT A FULL LIST of all the hot vintage movies to start with but it might give you some starting places! i banged this out as quick as I could at 2 am, so apologies that it's sloppy and not perfect.]

[lycorisicecream]

of course you've gotten into problematic things.

Don't know if I should answer this but like what do you mean

[batshit-auspol]

So a bit of background first for our international followers: Clive Palmer is one of Australia's many mining billionaires who like to meddle in our country's politics, and as such he is utterly despised by all of Australia.

Picture for context:

He is most commonly known online by the title "Fatty McFuckhead", (problematic as it may be) because he tried to sue a youtuber for $500,000 for calling him that - and he lost. So the name stuck.

Up until his most recent foray into parliament, the legally certified Fuckhead was best known for his batshit business ventures, such as attempting to build "The Titanic 2" (failed) and trying to build a dinosaur theme park (also failed, but at least nobody got eaten by a T-Rex in this one).

For a very long time Clive played the role of sugar daddy to Australia's largest conservative party, the ironically named Liberal Party, until they had a falling out in 2012 after Clive claimed there was too much money influencing politics (lol), at which point he started his own party, days after saying he totally quit and wasn't fired and he only left because he didn't want to be a distraction.

His initial run at parliament was actually kinda successful, with Palmer's group winning 4 seats, plus a member from the "Motoring Enthusiasts Party" joined them too after accidentally getting elected and not knowing what the fuck to do.

Despite this initial success however, Palmer's party (which ran on basically no platform other than "I'm rich") hit an iceberg (titanic 2 achieved) and seven elected state and federal politicians quit within the first year.

By the time the next federal election rolled around, only one Palmer party candidate was still running for re-election. The most successful of this group - Jaquie Lambie - quit to sit as an independant and is still in parliament today.

Here she is with a painting of herself strangling Clive (she sells signed copies of this)

And here the senator is posting about liking sausage:

Anyway, we're getting to the point: which is the yellow posters. By the 2016 election, just two years after forming, the party was in complete freefall. It won just 0.01% of the vote at their second election, and it was announced shortly after that Clive was quitting politics and the party was being shut down. Australia breathed a sigh of relief.

It was, of course, short lived.

Clive, in desperate need of attention, restarted the party for the 2019 election, fielding candidates in every seat and spending $60 million in advertising in an attempt to win votes.

Every single candidate lost.

It was in this campaign however that Australia really started to fall out of love with Palmer, because most of that $60 million went towards putting up the world's least compelling marketing billboards on almost every single free space in the country.

For a good six months this was basically the only thing you would see in Australia if you went outside:

Clearly Graphic design is his passion. And yes, the genius did just straight up try and copy Trump's homework while changing a few words, hoping nobody would notice.

Very quickly these all got vandalised and it seemed the ad companies didn't care enough to replace them.

We could go on posting examples, there are thousands, but the best is definitely the one Ikea put up shortly after Clive lost the election:

In 2022, Clive's party contested the election AGAIN, this time also opting to send millions on spam text messages to every person in Australia begging for people to vote for him, as well as buying almost every youtube ad for a year, at the cost of $100 million.

He won a whopping one seat.

During this election Clive ran on an anti-lockdown, anti-vax platform with the slogan "freedom, freedom, freedom". That message, however, was slightly undermined when his goons, dressed in 'Freedom!' shirts, made national news for trying to beat up a protester who turned up at a rally dressed as an annoying text message, shouting "pay your workers" at Clive.

As if that wasn't bad enough, at another rally Clive knocked himself unconscious while trying to jump up on stage, and then a few weeks later was rushed to hospital with covid, while his anti-vax ads were still in regular rotation on TV, at which point it was also leaked to the press that Palmer had been alledgedly trying to buy Hitler's car.

Utterly humiliated, the party deregistered again shortly after the election.

Can't wait until he runs again in 2025.

Anyway, on the other "Clive tweeting Miss Kobayashi's Dragon" thing, we have no idea what that means but here's a screencap:

[newtkive]

confectionary clash - carmen berzatto

pairing: carmen berzatto x afab!reader (established relationship)

summary: carmy's girl is the human embodiment of a sweetheart. that is, unless it's that time of the month and richie provokes her.

wordcount: 3.2k

warnings: swearing, fighting, weaponized incompetence from richie but we still love him.

a/n: this was meant to be a drabble but turned into 3k words. so it's written kinda like a drabble?? (hence the lowercase i can't be arsed to change) but just... long. idk hopefully its entertaining. also, i don't mean to demonize richie, he's my favorite character i think,, i just love writing him as problematic lmao cuz he's so funny. anyways, enjoy!

as carmy’s confidant and girlfriend, you were always the voice of reason. with just a string of words, you’d be calming him down after a hectic work day, giving him a fresh perspective on his work dilemmas since you were outside of the restaurant circle. in the time he’s known you, he hadn’t seen you do as much as barely raise your voice. maybe the occasional snap, but you always follow it up with swift apologies and big watery eyes.

that is, unless you’re in pain. specifically cramps. the sight of you 180ing from a sweet girl with a bright smile and even sweeter words, to an evil sorceress with spells rolling off your tongue, inflicting curses onto anyone who irritates you is jarring. a bit dramatic, sure, but that’s what you were during that time of the month—dramatic.

carmy tries best to dote on you. you would never ask him to go out of his way for something, unless it’s grabbing a heating pad or water, but carmy wants you to. it takes prying to hear your desires and cravings after asking a million times, and you begrudgingly give in with no expectations. nevertheless, you end up with exactly what you asked for, or something close to it, and you’re endlessly grateful.

on days when you stop into the restaurant when you’re feeling down, carmy enacts this same routine. if it’s food, he’ll cook it for you; desserts, he’ll grab any extras marcus has (or marcus happily makes it from scratch if they're not busy, claiming he needs the practice). if you want snacks, he sends his right hand man richie out to grab them despite your protests.

richie does it often whenever you stop into the store, and he acts like it’s a chore sometimes, but everyone has a hunch that he really loves it. come on, twenty dollars to get a few items for you and pocket the rest for himself? plus a break from work? done deal.

richie wouldn’t admit it, but he liked taking care of you too. you were always a sweetheart to him, but it wasn’t in his personality to be as sincere as you, so this was a little act of service to show his love. besides, the year and a half you’ve known him has definitely earned you the title of a friend, and you’d agree.

now, you don’t ever want to seem ungrateful, but when you ask for a specific treat, you get disappointed when you don’t really get it. maybe it’s the fluctuating mood talking, but you always end up snapping at richie due to his poor choices. if you ask for one thing, he’ll get you the next, and you even suspect he does it on purpose sometimes. pulling reactions from people is his specialty.

it’s not like you’re a complete bitch about it, because he took his time out to go get you something, but richie has a problem with weaponized competence even with his new and improved attitude. you know he can get you the jolly ranchers you suggested, but he chooses to grab goldfish because it’s closer to checkout. it was annoying, but you never really brought it up to carmy. it's not like you needed to, it wasn't a huge deal. you figured richie could use the little break, and you don’t hate the snacks he brings.

except on days like this.

you were at the restaurant on a slow day, dragged yourself out of bed despite your cramps just to see your little grumpy boyfriend and hide in his office. even as you entered the establishment through the back you glared at richie (who sweetly waved) in passing, side eyeing a few of the newbies who ran in front of you despite their apologies. none of your usual bright smiles and cheery greetings. the bee line straight to the office was a clear enough explanation for how you were feeling.

upon entering, carmy looked up in a panic, which quickly melted into a soft smile at the sight of his girlfriend. “hey, baby.” he cooed softly, immediately scooting back from his desk to reach out to grasp at your waist. you let him, but pushed down the irritation, not favoring touch at the moment. however, his rough hands sliding a little under your shirt to grasp at the flesh of your hips calmed you down, earning a small quirk of the lips from you.

“whatcha doin’ here, love?” he asks, bringing one of your hands to his lips to kiss softly, still looking up at you.

you shrug, squeezing his hand, face a bit stoic. you’d been like this for a couple of days so he wasn’t surprised by your lack of friendliness. knowing you this long, carmy became accustomed to your monthly mood swings, and he felt privileged that you didn’t feel the need to put up an act for him.

“missed you.” you finally sighed, scooting closer so you stood between his knees. palms found both sides of carmy’s face and tilted it upwards a bit so you could study his appearance. stressed and tired. however, he seemed to glow at the mere admission of you missing him. it took a few seconds for his brain to rewire, looking up at you like you created the cosmos. the only reason you heard his soft, shy, ‘missed you too’ was because of the stagnant silence.

“hungry?” carmy asked, beaming from the attention. you shrugged again, allowing him to tighten his grip on your sides and tug you onto his lap. whining a bit in protest, you reposition yourself, legs falling over his lap and arms around his neck. your faces were closer now, and carmy looked at your sad eyes with a little pang in his chest. brows furrowing, he tilted his head and snuck a hand under your chin. long, tattooed fingers tickled at your chin, and before you knew it you were giggling and grinning while batting his hand away.

“cmon, i know you must want somethin’.” your grin was infectious and laced in his soft words. you hummed, already cheered up, and tapped a finger against your chin to make a thinking face. carmy chuckled, brushing a lock of hair away from your eyes and patiently waited.

a thought crossed your mind and you met gazes again. “i might go grab some little debbie snacks from around the corner.” you decided and nodded to yourself as if solidifying your decision.

as you started sitting up more, carmy’s grip tightened on your waist. “ah, ah, no. stay here.” he protested. soon enough he was calling out ‘cousin!’ and richie came bounding over, opening the office door.

richie’s face used to contort in disgust at any visual sign of affection exchanged between you and carmy, but he was used to it now. “what’s up, cousin?” he asked, almost seeming out of breath, eyes flickering between the both of you.

a short exchange between the two occurred: carmy asking richie to run to the corner store, handing richie a twenty, and richie asking you precisely what you wanted. you made it simple and easy, something he could remember: oreos and ho-hos, a midwestern's guilty pleasure.

“ight, cap’n, i’ll be back.” richie says, saluting you two before heading out. both you and carmy exchanged an amused smirk, knowing the only reason richie went was to get himself some cigarettes and hot fries he would scarf down on the walk back.

__

in the twenty minutes richie was gone, the kitchen had gone to shit. the newbies had been running the wrong food to tables, online orders were filling the tablet nonstop due to a discount glitch, and carmy was close to losing it. sitting in the office, now alone with the muffled sound of your boyfriend yelling, you were more grumpy than before. arms crossed, you snapped your head to the side once the door creaked open. in walked richie with a plastic bag, inside of it holding your hope for a better day.

"what took you so long?" you frowned up at him, but sat up straighter in anticipation. you eyes almost shone as you looked at corner store logo on the bag.

"went the long way." he mumbled, digging in the plasic. the skeptical look on your face didn't leave as he pulled out an item and set it on the table. your frown deepened further as you noticed there was nothing at all you asked for, only met with a crushed sleeve of crackers.

“where are the oreos?” you sighed out, lips pursed in a bit of a pout.

“didn’t find any, so i got you some peanut butter crackers.” he mumbled, digging around the bag again, as if he didn’t just break your heart. if it was anyone else you'd believe them, but with richie you figured he just got bored of looking.

your jaw fell slack and you gaped like a fish for a moment, waiting for him to pull out more treats from his bag. but that time didn’t come, as he fished a pack of cigarettes out instead. “and the ho-ho’s?” your voice was hopeful.

richie perked up at that, putting the cigarettes down next to the crackers. the next second he presented you with a smushed mountain of brown and white concealed in a plastic wrapper sitting atop the palm of his hand. eyes flicking between the disappointment before you and his face, you frowned in disbelief.

richie only managed to emote as much as a ‘yikes’ face before placing it on the desk. “got smushed in transit, but tastes the same!” he gave his best attempt at a smile. your brows grew taut together and anger bubbled up in your chest. you were sure your face was quickly turning red.

“carmy gave you twenty dollars, and you come back with this?!” you hiss out, daring to look at the dry crackers and smushed up dream of a ho-ho. the sight only made you become angrier. this was something a senile old person would give you, not a competent 40-something-year-old man. his lack of care was clear, and you were boiling.

richie just scoffed—he had the nerve to scoff.

“no, not just that! i got a sprite and a few pack of cigs for myself and the guy.” he waved around one of them to prove his point. if you thought you were mad before, you reached a new level of anger. usually, you’d deal with the disappointment and thank richie for even going—aside from a smart alec remark.

however, the demon conducting your period for this month did not make your rational decisions seem clear nor enticing. as you shot up from carmy’s chair, you only knew you wanted to make richie as upset as you were in this moment.

with one finger poking his chest, you began raising your voice. as soon as you started talking, richie's eyes turned wide as saucers, exactly like a deer in headlights. a string of curses snuck into your tirade, between phrases such as “you always fucking do this richie!” and “are you fuckin’ dumb?! did you get dropped on your head?!”. you only figured he didn't fire back right away because he was so stunned.

outside of the office, the kitchen was calmer now. things were finally falling into order but still required carmy’s supervision until the sudden rush ended. the only disturbance was you. now, it was your voice yelling behind closed doors and not carmy’s.

the chef—in the middle of helping sydney plate a dish—just about gave himself whiplash with how fast he turned around to look at the barely cracked door of the office. there was the telltale muffled yelling, but what shocked him was it was clearly you yelling.

turning back around, carmy gawked at sydney who silently shared the same look of surprise. it was only until they heard richie start yelling back that sydney silently pushed him toward the door. it didn’t take more than a second for carmy to snap out of his surprise and march over to the office.

throwing the hand towel he was using over his shoulder, he yanked the heavy door open before all but body slamming his way into the room and slamming the door closed. the yelling was suddenly clear, as if carmy was being pulled out from underwater.

“YOU GET ME WHAT I ASKED YOU, OR GET ME NOTHING AT ALL!”

“THEN YOU’D BITCH ABOUT THAT TOO—“

“OR NOTHING AT ALL!”

“hey, hey, HEY!” the two of you were too busy at each others throats to even hear carmy enter, until his voice brought you both to a halt, heads turning towards him.

carmy’s eyes were immediately glued to you, not paying the least bit of attention to richie. your arms were stiff as boards to your sides, fists and jaw clenched, brows taut, and race beet red. the man had never seen you look like this before, and his instinct to comfort you took over. turning to richie with a look that could kill, carmy finally spoke. “what did you do?”

“what did i do?! except take precious time to get your girl shit she didn’t even want?!”

an offended gasp left your mouth, and you retorted instantly. “oh please! because a crushed up sleeve of crackers and a mountain of mushed up cake is just what i asked for!”

“you’re ungrateful.” richie pointed a finger at you now. carmy launched forward and slapped it down. he knew richie would never hurt you, and you knew it too, as you just rolled your eyes in response, but carmy’s instinct’s took over. richie didn’t even look phased, just irritated. carmy stood in front of you and forcefully turned richie around by his shoulders to send him to the door. if carmy didn't have half of a sane mind, he would’ve kicked richie's bottom with his shoe for good measure.

“go take a break chef! or do whatever the fuck, i don’t care.” carmy shouted after richie, and the man left with a slam of the door.

you simply watched the scene unfold with arms crossed and that same deep set frown. carmy turned around to face you as the air settled, a hand running through his hair. blue eyes raked over your tense form and carmy decided he would give you a little space to calm down. however, the second he saw your bottom lip wobbling and eyes grow watery he threw that thought to the wind

“hey, no, no, don’t cry.” carmy extended his arms and collected you into them. the tense posture you held relaxed into his slouched form as he held you close; one hand in your hair, and the other rubbing circles on your back as you sniffled.

a pit of guilt burned in your stomach and spurred you into attempting to bury yourself into carmy. blue straps of his apron rubbed against your cheek as you shuffled impossibly closer. usually, carmy would love this, but right now he'd do anything to not see you so out of it. shushing you, he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

there were a few beats of you hiding away before you decided to pull back a bit to face him again—and boy did you look pitiful.

the same cheeks previously bright with anger were now flush with embarrassment and stained with tears. a tattooed hand found itself sitting on your cheek, thumb rubbing under your eye to collect a fallen tear. at the touch, your eyes fluttered closed, and carmy’s heart broke at the sight.

“you gonna tell me what happened?” your boyfriend asked, trying not to make you feel even more guilty. his full attention was on you. exhaling slowly, your eyes fluttered back open and were met with those bright blue ones that always calmed you down.

“i dunno, i just-“ you shook your head and carmy waited patiently, “it wasn’t even a big deal, but richie just really set me off for some reason.”

“yeah, may as well join the club.” carmen’s words were light, not at all sarcastic, but aiming to ease you and bring out a smile. it worked, your lips turning upwards and carmy mimicking the half smile. he looked down at you with such love, head tilted to follow every time yours moved, and thumb caressing your cheek as he took in every expression.

your smile finally faltered as you glanced back at the office desk. “i feel so awful. he went out and got me stuff and i just yelled at him.” you sputter out.

carmy followed your gaze over his shoulder to finally see what started all of this. at the sight of the crackers and ball of what looked like mush, carmy scoffs in both disbelief and amusement, because of course richie would bring you that. turning back towards you, the chef finally gets it.

“baby, if someone brought me that shit while my insides were shedding i’d kill them.” he chuckled.

“really?” you asked hopefully, smile forming again.

“yes, really. even if i wasn’t goin’ through that i’d actually kick his ass.” carmy mirrored your smile.

nodding, you let yourself chuckle along with him. strong arms found you again and you were wrapped in a tight hug, allowing his squeezes to take away some guilt you were feeling. a moment passed and you knew carmy had to get back to work. with a sigh, you pulled back.

it was your turn to reach up and cup his cheek. guiding his face close, you met him halfway and pressed your lips to his in a kiss. lips moving against his, your noses brushed, and after a moment you let the kiss dissipate; lips slowly falling away from where they were molded together. one last peck was placed on carmy’s lips, as if saying, ‘thank you for being so attentive’. that earned an appreciate hum.

you both beamed, faces still close as you came back down to earth. “you gotta get back to work, and i gotta apologize.” you murmured and carmy nodded obediently.

with apprehension, carmy let you go, arms floating in the air for half a second as he walked backwards towards the door. “don’t go easy on him, though. richie lives for a fight. that was probably his anger management for the day.” carmy smirked, grasping the doorknob.

you just shook your head, eyes narrowed teasingly. before he turned to leave, you called out to him. “thank you, carmy.”

the man just gave you a confused look, chuckling. “don’t thank me, you're my girl.” with that he was back to work and you were left to your own devices. with one more glance at the monstrosity on the office desk, you left the room and went on a search for richie.

thirty minutes later, carmy was due for a smoke break and approached the back door. he slowed his tracks, lighter and cigarette in hand as he cracked the door and heard giggling. the sight before him was drastically different than before: you and richie sitting on a ledge next to each other, giggling and bumping shoulders. carmy breathed out a laugh at the sight and fully walked out. this caught both of your attention, grinning ear to ear as you clearly made up.

“hey, cousin!” richie grinned, and you both waved. figures.

[badsweetangel]

Kinktober Day 17: Lap dance (Haitani Brothers x Reader)

You're a jealous person. Extremely jealous. And that was a serious problem, mainly because you were dating Ran Haitani. It was problematic, because he was always surrounded by girls at his parties. And you could never get used to it.

One day, for Rindou's birthday party, they decided that they were going to get a lap dance at the Roppongi nightclub they usually frequented. And you didn't like that at all. You were absolutely tired of it.

"Hey, it's for my brother, not me." He excused himself disinterestedly, while yawning from sleep.

"You'll still be there," you rebutted, crossing your arms.

"Of course, it's my brother's birthday." He replied, as if it were obvious. "Plus, you'll get to come to the after-party." He shrugged.

"And let you go there?" Forget it." You snapped, looking surprised at how he seemed calm about the situation.

Ran's second yawn sent an annoying feeling building up in your chest. Your foot repeatedly tapped the floor, like an act of nervousness. Losing control with a situation that, to him, wasn't that big of a deal.

"Why does it bother you so much?" He tilted his head to the side, with a genuine look of confusion. "I'll go anyway because it's my brother's birthday," he decided with a serious face.

You shook your head repeatedly, showing your displeasure at his decision. He smiled at your gestures and posture. He found your anger adorable over something as simple as a lap dance. So he decided to play with you a little.

"Well…" He hesitated feignedly, positioning himself behind you, resting his hands on your shoulders and bringing his mouth close to your ear. "You can do it instead of her."

Your eyes widened in surprise at hearing that invitation. It was obviously a joke. But This time your jealousy won over common sense.

“Fine,” you agreed, decisively.

Silence, absolute silence.

You could only imagine his expression behind you. It seemed like he was still trying to choose what kind of reaction he would have to this situation. He thought about it. If you were willing to challenge him, then he had to test you. Besides, during the dance it would only be the three of you.

“Fine,” he agreed, having fun with your surprised face. “If you manage to get a nice reaction out of Rindou, you will have won this round.”

You nodded.

You were nervous. It was definitely hard to get a smile out of Rindou, it always was. Maybe he might be enjoying himself too much, but it was just hard to get him to express it on his face. Plus, you were his brother’s girlfriend.

You thought Ran had already won this round.

Yet you showed up in that VIP room, wearing a simple yet charming outfit. Ran’s eyes landed on you the instant you appeared. He was teasing, he definitely thought you wouldn’t be able to. However, you swayed your hips to the music, getting closer to Rindou and ignoring your boyfriend. The dance was for his brother anyway.

Rindou simply showed surprise on his face, but immediately kept his composure when Ran stared at him, making him understand that he should play along. So he did.

You were afraid that would be the only reaction you would get from him all night.

You went down to the rhythm of the dance, while your hands ran over your skin and your eyes were fixed on him. Only in him. In your boyfriend's brother. Rindou remained expressionless, as if he were daring you to surprise him. He had had dances from more experienced women and what you were giving him was nice, but not enough to express it openly.

Ran had a half smile on his face as he watched the dynamic between the two of you. Enjoying your eagerness to win and the challenge his brother imposed on you. He had to admit that Rindou was strong, because if he were in his place, he would have already given in to you, to your body, to your movements and the desire you reflected. But, the youngest of the Haitani was not so weak.

You sat on Rindou's lap with your back turned, leaning back, making him quickly rest his own back on the luxurious chair. His hands went to your hips, squeezing them. Your back arched, imitating an exaggerated and intense pleasure. His breath caught in his throat. At least he had given in a little. You stood up, feeling his fingers moving away from your curves. You felt empty to break away from his touch. Though you recovered when you saw the desire growing in his eyes. Seeing that, as if he was controlling you with his desire, you took off all your underwear.

Ran gulped.

Rindou raised an eyebrow, intrigued.

You stayed very close to him, submitting to his silent demand. You moved your hips in circles slowly in front of him. Your stomach ached from the tension as he saw his smile at the sight of your naked body, among the lights and music… His body all dressed up, while you were just waiting for his approval.

His hands moved closer to your body. He wanted to feel your skin. However, you pulled away playfully smiling.

You had won.

Rindou’s smile expressed his agreement.

“Nothing for me?” He asked mischievously.

“No” Rindou denied, quickly. “It’s my birthday.”

[yanderes-galore]

Is it possible to ask for a romantic concept of Eren + Mikasa (AOT) sharing a darling???

Sure! I'm not finished Season 4 so I chose this to take place during Seasons 1-3 personality and plot-wise. If you want a Season 4 version eventually, I can probably do that.

Yandere! Eren + Mikasa sharing a Darling

(Seasons 1-3)

Pairing: Romantic - Sharing

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Manipulation, Possessive behavior, Violence/Implied murder, Yanderes sharing, Blood, Stalking, Kidnapping/isolation, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Honestly, these two are such a duo.

They would definitely share more than fight over their obsession.

Although, as this is romantic intentions, I have a feeling there's some quarreling.

A way this could work is Eren starts with romantic feelings and Mikasa just means to support him at first.

So essentially... It can start as Platonic! Eren and Platonic! Mikasa... then Romantic! Eren and Platonic! Mikasa... then eventually we get to both of them as romantic.

You're no doubt a Scout like them, which just adds to their protective behavior.

Originally the two are just your friends and comrades.

You admire Eren's driven personality and his determination... even if it gets him in trouble.

You also grow to befriend Mikasa, mostly due to the fact she's grown up with Eren and naturally wanted to know more about you.

She may be quiet and stoic, but she clearly cares for both you and Eren.

The two very well may stay platonic for awhile.

They always have looked out for you since you were Cadets.

Now, as Scouts, they're always with you in the field.

The two are actually terrifying as yanderes, that's not even including season 4.

First of all, Mikasa is one of the best Scouts there is.

Second of all, Eren's a titan-shifter.

You are probably one of the most protected Scouts there is.

When Eren has more control of his titan, he probably lets you and Mikasa sit on his shoulders.

I imagine romantic feelings slowly develop when it comes to them.

It probably starts for both of them, but one of them is more intense (Most likely Eren).

Eren is no doubt the one who admits to Mikasa that he likes you.

Mikasa is surprised, perhaps even a bit hurt, but supports Eren.

Which transitions the duo into Romantic/Platonic instead of Platonic.

Mikasa's feelings take longer to brew, but Eren certainly adores you.

Two problematic "rivals" for both of them could probably be Armin and Jean.

They both care for Armin and in earlier seasons despise Jean.

I imagine if you were close with Armin, the two are conflicted.

They care about Armin a ton, so they'd never get into violent fights.

Eren may express irritation or feel dejected, but Mikasa is calmer.

They may be more subtle with Armin in their attempts to distance you two.

But Jean causes a more volatile reaction from both of them.

Eren, in earlier seasons, naturally hates Jean's personality.

Plus iirc, Jean would flirt with Mikasa sometimes, which she hates.

Safe to say they both despise it when Jean speaks or flirts with you.

Eren starts to pick fights but Mikasa tries to soothe herself and pull you away.

Eventually, Mikasa realizes she loves you too.

She probably learns this while working with you in the Scouts for awhile or realizing how irritated she feels when you take your attention away.

Eventually she probably gets the courage to tell Eren about it, feeling guilty as she knows Eren loves you... but hasn't confessed.

Eren seems to have a mixed reaction to this information.

He's a bit possessive about you and is unsure what to think.

However, if Eren was going to share with anyone, it would be Mikasa.

Which then makes the duo both romantic.

Confessing... well, confessing takes time.

The two have gained a reputation when it comes to you.

Many in the regimen know Eren and Mikasa collectively have a thing for you.

It's seen in the way they fight beside you, always prioritizing you.

If you're in trouble, Mikasa's either cutting down a titan's nape or Eren's tackling them in his titan form.

As for human encounters?

They're somehow around you, watching carefully.

Both of them don't mind spilling blood, even more so in season 3.

If anyone dared to hurt you... they're dealing with a dangerous duo.

Now eventually... confessing will happen.

The two ask you to meet them in private, that or one of them approaches you to meet them in private.

Then when you all gather, the two let loose.

They tell you their feelings, everything from how much they care about you to how jealous they are of those around you.

They admit they're scared to lose you and both want to date you.

The decision is... difficult, no doubt.

However, the two are willing to wait.

Due to their persistence... there's a good chance they aren't willing to give you up completely...

But they will wait until you're ready to accept them.

If you don't? Well... They'll find some way to convince you to see it their way... Even if it means losing the freedom you strive for.

For example, they stage an injury to keep you out of combat and with them... or they just straight up go rogue and kidnap you.

If anyone tried to stop them, Mikasa isn't afraid to bloody her blade and Eren certainly isn't holding back either.

You may be crying... shaking at the sight of them covered in blood... but everything will be okay in the end, that's what they say.

Soon... Soon they know you'll be happy with them.

You just need some convincing....

[ryuichirou]

Why is Ortho included in ship art? He died as a child, and although he was rebuilt, his emotional intelligence and maturity level stayed the same as that of a child. Although I fully disagree, I do want to understand your reasoning. Especially since Ortho and Idia are related and I saw your art of them kissing. I am genuinely confused.

I’ll be honest, Anon: the amount of people who message us pretending to be genuinely confused while having ill intentions are more than I care to admit, and this is very tiring; this is why I might sound a little dry in my reply. But I don’t mind explaining it if you genuinely want to understand it. That being said, let this be the last time I am ranting about this topic because there is nothing new I can say.

Here is the short answer: Ortho is included in ship art because we ship him with other characters. Ortho having a maturity level, mentality and/or intelligence of a child is a myth that contradicts canon and only exists to antagonise people who view Ortho as anything other than Idia’s baby mascot with zero agency. The fact that Idia and Ortho are related is not a reason not to ship them: shipping is fictional and doesn’t reflect one’s views on irl matters. Exploring taboo and problematic dynamics and tropes in fiction is a part of natural human experience. What I care most about in shipping is characters’ dynamic that I find fun for shipping. Their relation to each other comes second, but I won’t pretend it doesn’t exist if it does exist.

Now I’ll give you a long answer. Starting with “Ortho is a child/8-year-old/5-year-old/toddler” argument.

We actually saw real 8 yo Ortho before his death in Idia’s flashback and, wow, we can see that AI!Ortho and flashback!Ortho aren’t the same Ortho. "My largest amount of birthday data comes from eleven years ago, when I was five” is the line that Ortho says in one of his Birthday vignettes, which indicates that even though he does have memories of dead!Ortho, he is not stuck in the age of 8 – he thinks and feels that his fifth birthday happened eleven years ago.

But also just in general, if you listen to him talk and compare it to how he talked in Idia’s flashback (both the voice and the manner of speech), it becomes pretty clear that he is older. He is younger-looking and has a high-pitched voice but it’s due to the fact that Idia designed him to look that way, and there are a lot of potential reasons why he could’ve done it (all non-canon and theoretical, so we won’t dive into them today), but he is definitely not 8 years old. Ortho’s AI constantly learns new information, learns more about being a human – he is clearly maturing as the story goes, thus showing that he is in fact capable of aging mentally, and he’s been doing it from the moment Idia first created him. He is naive and inexperienced, but that doesn’t make him an infant.

Plus, post ch.6 he is always being grouped with other freshmen who are also sixteen years old. This is his age group. This is how old Ortho would’ve been if he was still alive, and this is how old AI!Ortho feels. He’s a proper first year student just like Ace, Deuce and the rest of the boys, and the story keeps highlighting it in all the events that happened post ch.6.

Speaking of post ch.6. At the end of the story AI!Ortho and real/blot!Ortho actually merged a little, as far as you can remember. Blot!Ortho, wow, is also 16. He’s been stuck in the Underworld since he was 8 and he existed all those years and grew up as well despite his terrible situation and more than unusual company, so we can safely assume his age. His merging with AI!Ortho also influenced him (AI!Ortho) in a way, making him more human as a result as well.

Not to sound mean, but I think the majority of people who still insist that Ortho is mentally 8 either don’t pay attention to his character, his story and how he interacts with others at all, or straight-up choose to believe that lie because it makes it easier to attack shippers or anyone who likes Ortho in general.

But also guess what, none of that matters actually because ultimately he is a fictional boy, and fictional characters’ ages are irrelevant. Just like fictional characters’ family relations are irrelevant. Even if you don’t think it’s right, that doesn’t change the fact that it is irrelevant, and the only thing that could be done about it is that you can block people and/or tags that make you upset. There is no shame about it: I avoid a lot of ships and tropes that make me upset.

I would prefer people to stop accusing me, a real person, of actual vile crimes (or having dark thoughts about them? What the fuck is wrong with you?) because of fictional, made-up things. If I want to, I can unrelate Ortho and Idia, and my fanart would stop being incestuous with a snap of my fingers. I can make them enemies, I can make them kill each other over and over again, I can kill Idia instead of Ortho. I say this to show how little it matters, and no, ~the implications~ don’t count. People make them up and choose to believe that instead of listening to the person in question. About a real person, let me repeat myself. You (plural/neutral you, not you, Anon) cannot make shit up about another person’s thoughts, ideas, and views just because you find it convenient.

As for why I personally ship Ortho with Idia despite them being siblings, you’re in luck because in addition to this already long post I have an even longer post for you to read if you’re interested! It’s been more than a year since I’ve written that post my reasoning is still pretty much the same, so I think it’s a pretty good one to read if you genuinely want to understand us better.

But if you don’t want to read another long post but are still interested, here is a TL;DR:

I love their deep love for each other and don’t want to just explore the platonic aspect of it – there are a lot of other scenarios that I want to play with;

there are a lot of tropes related to this ship that we love (us two against the world; AI in love; causing an apocalypse for the sake of your loved one; unhealthy and codependent relationship; obsession, etc);

their story has a lot of motifs that could be read as romantic (i.e. Orpheus and Eurydice analogy) that we really enjoy;

personal reasons; relatability (not elaborating on that; not related to incest though lol);

they’re sexy lol I love robot parts, size difference and a lot of other aspects that I won’t mention here.

I hope that explained some stuff. Just to be clear: I don’t want to force anyone ship Shroudcest, in fact I don’t care if we are the only people in the world shipping them (that will never be the case though lol). I just love Ortho very much, and I think he is a very fun character that has a lot to offer, and I really don’t like that people want to create this aura of “he’s just baby don’t touch him” that stops people for getting to know his character better. He is cunning, he is smart, he is caring, he is psychopathic, he is a lot of things, and all of those things make me want to see him bossing Idia around, acting cute around Vil, bonding with Malleus over their differences and similarities, all of those things.

[roboj0e]

Wade would bully Peter bc someone said he would and wrote it happening and bc y'all are so boring and annoying. Fanfiction isn't about what's canon or strictly in character thats why they're called transformative works. I think y'alls weird obsession with what's cannon while also trying to heavily police what and how ppl make fiction is honestly been the death of fandom and creativity.

There hasn't been a large scale cross over in fandom in years that either wasn't completely ironic or torn down by bullies that it fizzled out bc y'all don't know how to have fun. Even that recent debate over how sans would react to his brother death is further proof of y'all's lack of understanding of interpretation and fan works. Fanwork are supposed to exist in the reality of the fiction of the person who wrote it. NOT what IS the right interpretation bc there are NO right interpretation except for what is made canon which can be anything bc WE aren't the creators.

Who cares what happens in the comics. The comic themselves don't care what happens in other comic runs unless it's specifically meant to be a spin off/continuation.

Wade is SUPPOSED to be a morally ambiguous character. I know y'all have washed him of all the ambiguity bc ppl have told you that how ur supposed to approach fiction and y'all can not perceive a protag who might not be the best person who ur also NOT supposed to hate (god forbid a protag not have Jesus adjacent morality) but thats what he is. He'll do whatever anyone wrote him doing bc he's not real and also anything thats morally ambiguous or toxic bc that's one of his character traits and what was supposed to set him apparent from other heros he's not even a hero he's an antihero. I can not believe y'all are moralizing something as tame as bullying. Bullies making up with their victims happens in DISNEY movies now y'all tryna make that into some problematic take. OMG. And this is from someone who WAS bullied briefly until I learned how to fight and stand up for myself.

Thinking that someone who romanticizes something morally wrong couldn't have possibly been through that experience is the direct antithesis of fiction. It also makes no sense. Plenty of ppl write from experience but also sometimes turning it into a story in which they control how they interact with a bully does A LOT FOR REGAIN CONTROL OF THOSE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES. STOP TRYING TO SUS OUT WHO HAS TRAUMA OR NOT. also STOP thinking that you are an authority of certain traumatic experiences you aren't every experiences are very VERY personal and the portrayal of those experiences should have NOTHING to do with yours bc there is NO way to encapsulate all lived experiences. And even if someone hasn't been bullied who cares again decenter yourself from a fictional scenario that should in now way be a representation of you bc u are not the center of the universe.

(THIS SECTION UNDERNEATH IS MY HEAD CANON U DONT HAVE TO TELL ME U DONT LIKE AGE GAPS IDC)

Secondly wade only wouldnt bully Peter TO ME bc I'm not a teenager in highschool like some of y'all and highschool fics don't interest me and wade to me shouldne even be in highschool and always be the much older one in the dynamic. They shouldnt even be near the same age for me. But whatever floats ur boat. You can do whatever you wan't but when y'all make these long posts telling OTHER ppl what they can and can't do OR how you think YOUR interpretation of the character is the most right your crossing a line frl.

Edit: I read both Deadpool and spiderman comics btw plus the very wonderful spiderman/Deadpool run. GASP I know someone who likes the source material but doesn't adhere strictly to it bc I actually have an imagination and like to have fun instead of kissing marvels feet and remaining in a narrow interpretation of a character. A rare breed I guess.

Edit edit: I also think alot of y'all have a very romcom take on spideypool. And thats definitely fine love my fair share of fluff. But I have a much more complicated take on them. Again I think an age gap compliments these complications. It adds to an imbalanced perspective of both of them towards each other. I'm also very uninterested in a spideypool that grow healthy together or peter "fixing" wade. I want them to overcomplicate their relationship but for it to also be a healthy balance of comedic and fun and hot monkey sex that keeps them interested in a less than perfect relationship. A sorta push and pull from both sides.

[whoishotteranimepolls]

No Fandoms vs Illiteracy this week

I know I said there would be Fandoms vs Illiteracy today. But, after reading through the essay again, I noticed unusual language I hadn't seen before. I started googling and found that it's associated with the anti-shiping/anti-fan movement. All of a sudden, everything makes sense.

If you're not familiar with these people, they are a group of people within fandom spaces that believe it's their moral duty to harass anyone who consumes/enjoys problematic content or ships any problematic ships to any kind into conforming with their puritanical cult or killing themselves. So yeah, don't I want to engage with this one, but now I'm aware of this movement and will definitely be watching out for their lingo in future Fandoms vs Illiteracy entries

They are also very well known for doxing, and as someone who's had that happen before, I don't really want to engage with this one. Since I'm fully aware of what it is now and because of the hell they put me through in the old fandom. Plus, I now know they're aware of my blog. I will be monitoring the comments and tags more

Honestly, their movement sounds like the death of media literacy, critical thinking, and full-blown puritanical censorship. Because most people can separate fantasy and reality, and if you can't, you have a problem, and your problem gives you no right to bully, harass, and dox other people in the name of moral purity

Oh, and if anyone's curious, I found several good academic research papers on the phenomenon of the anti-fan/anti-shipper. Here's a good one

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[engie-ivy]

(Short fic of Remus being a disaster😋 for @wolfstarmicrofic)

2nd: Rogue

Remus only dates so-called 'bad boys', because he isn't interested in falling in love, but also doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and with those types, he doesn't have to worry about either. When he goes on a date with Sirius Black, however, Remus quickly realizes he's made a huge error of judgment.

Wasn't Looking For This

“You need help,” Mary states as she’s scrolling through Remus’ Tinder matches.

“Don’t you dare start swiping for me!” Remus warns.

Mary shakes her head. “No, I mean like professional help. Have you considered talking to someone?”

“Please.” Remus plucks his phone from her hands. “I don’t see any use in paying a ton of money to have some therapist psychoanalyse how my dating life is problematic.”

“I agree,” Lily says, sprawled out on the couch flipping through a magazine. “You don’t need to be a licensed therapist to psychoanalyse what’s wrong with your dating life. Instability during your childhood that lead to an insecure attachment style, causing you to develop a great fear of commitment, and resulting in you only dating men you know you’ll have no risk of falling in love with. Men I would describe as rogue bad boys. Overconfident, narcissistic, inconsiderate, too full of themselves to care about anybody else’s feelings. Men who definitely aren’t looking for an emotional connection, so you don’t have to worry about not only you getting feelings for them, but also them getting feelings for you.”

Remus glares at her. “Rude.”

Mary sighs. “So, is tonight’s guy a rogue, self-centred bad boy with too much confidence?”

“We actually haven’t spoken much,” Remus admits. “But he definitely has the right vibe. He was wearing a leather jacket in the bar, everyone was throwing themselves at him, but he hardly seemed to care, and he had this haughty air about him. Plus, the reason we didn’t talk much is because he had his tongue in my mouth five minutes after saying hello.” He grins. “So I’m hopeful.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “You’re an absolute disaster.”

Remus gets to his feet and presses a kiss to Lily’s cheek. “Love you too, Lils.” He turns to the girls before going out the door. “Don’t wait up,” he says with a wink.

Lily groans and Mary shakes her head. “You have issues.”

Remus made a huge mistake.

He realizes this immediately as he wakes up in a bed that is most definitely not his. He’s relieved that Sirius isn’t there, which gives him some time to think.

Yesterday, Sirius had taken him out for dinner at a nice restaurant. Afterwards, some drinks and a lovely stroll through the city at night-time and its beautiful city lights, ending at the front door of Sirius’ apartment.

Sirius had been charming and funny, and sure, that happens sometimes. With his habit of dating vain bad boys, Remus isn’t surprised anymore at how charming they can be when they want to. But then Sirius had also been kind and caring and actually interested in what Remus had to say, and that most definitely wasn’t what he signed up for!

Sirius had been a true gentleman, holding out Remus’ chair as they got to their table. He had smiled at Remus with a smile that was so much brighter than Remus remembered from the badly lit bar after a couple of drinks. As soon as they sat down, Sirius had said that his resting face was often interpreted as haughty, and how that ‘so not was who he was’, and that he was glad Remus wanted to give him a chance anyway.

Remus had wanted to scream.

In hindsight, he should’ve fled right there and then. But no, he had stayed. And of course Sirius had offered to share a dessert and then let Remus eat all of it, of course he had insisted that he’d pay for dinner, of course he had asked ‘is the okay?’ when he took Remus’ hand in his as they were walking side by side.

And if that hadn’t been bad enough, it turned out Sirius loves animals. He had shown Remus pictures of his dog, beaming with fondness as he told Remus about her.

The cherry on top of this miserable pie that Remus definitely didn’t order, was that Sirius is a doctor. A bloody doctor. He works in the ER and he loves his job, because ‘it’s just so rewarding’.

When he had gently pulled Remus close and kissed him under a streetlight, Remus’ stomach did this fluttering thing.

It was awful.

Remus gets out of bed and starts putting on his clothes. He’ll shower at home. Right now, he needs to get out of here. He should’ve left yesterday, he shouldn’t have stayed the night. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone home with Sirius in the first place, but he just can’t bring himself to regret that, because holy shite. He’s only human, after all.

He’ll do the awkward goodbye, where Sirius might mutter something about breakfast and maybe having some yoghurt left in the fridge, which Remus will politely decline. He’ll leave and forget all about this. Forget that guys exist who are actually interested in what he has to say, forget that guys exist who look at him like he’s actually worth something, forget that guys exist who can make him feel like he’s actually worth something. Forget that Sirius Black exists.

As he enters the living room, though, he stops in his tracks at the dreadful sight in front of him.

The table is set, and Sirius is in the kitchen, wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt, his hair haphazardly tied in a messy bun, baking what appear to be pancakes. Sirius turns around and smiles at him, and Remus is floored by how he can look even more gorgeous like this then he did yesterday in his dress shirt and suit jacket. His stomach does that weird fluttery thing again, and Remus hopes against his better judgment that it’s due to yesterday’s wine.

“You’re awake, good,” Sirius says. “Since you told me yesterday how you have quite the sweet tooth, I couldn’t let you go without trying Potters’ Perfect Pancakes! Recipe from my chosen mother Effie, and I’m not even overselling when I tell you that they’re the best thing you’ll ever taste. Come, sit!”

Remus’ brain is shouting at him. Run! Get out! Just leave! But Remus’ body moves to the chair, sits down and starts buttering a bloody pancake.

It’s like watching a car speed towards a wall, knowing it’s going to crash, but there being nothing he can do about it.

His feeling of impending doom are interrupted by his first bite of pancake. It’s fluffy, and chewy, and gooey, and smooth, and creamy, and everything in one. “Oh my god,” he says.

Sirius is leaning forward in his chair, looking at Remus with an eager smile, his face brimming with excitement, his eyes sparkling. Remus can’t help but think that he’ll do anything to see Sirius smile like that. “It’s good, innit? I wasn’t exaggerating?”

“Really good,” Remus confirms. “And you definitely weren’t.”

As Remus digs in, Sirius places a mug of tea in front of him. Remus takes a sip, and it’s exactly the way he likes it. A warmth spreads through his body, that has nothing to do with the tea itself.

Then a beautiful girl walks into the kitchen. She has shiny black curls and she’s happily wagging her tail as she barks at Sirius.

“There she is!” Sirius drops to his knees and starts scratching her ears. “You were a little sleepy head, weren’t you? Yes, you were. Yes, you were. Who’s a good girl?” Sirius coos, as his dog starts wagging her tail even more and tries to lick his face.

And that’s just it for Remus.

The car has crashed. There’s nothing for it anymore. He’s done for.

The car has crashed, and all Remus can do now is hope that he’ll make it through in one piece.

Well, at least he has a doctor with him.

[lenaboskow]

a few problematic/confusing things i've seen scrolling through bree's twitter (plus one tumblr post). not as long as i wanted which is why i included some not necessarily problematic things, but just factually incorrect

this is the most notable one. in the top post, she makes an apology (which i will not say whether or not it's sincere but i will say it only came after being called out by fellow bt fans), but in the bottom post she leaves her original "lol i wasn't racist you're grasping" post up. last i checked this was still true. the duality of man, everyone.

this one. does she genuinely believe we'd hack lfj for one post? and then block the buddie fan?? though, she has pretended to be hacked before, so... tracks that she'd use the same excuse to defend lfj

also this one. you don't actually have to scroll that far to see the posts. especially if you're on desktop. the fact that they're still up even after being called out is the problem (besides the controller one and the one he was supposedly hacked about, but that's recent). lord forbid we hold actors accountable (before anyone says anything about ryan, read this post)

this is also about lfj being called out. pretty sure this was before she came up with the hacking excuse because she knew she couldn't justify his actions.

this one is just confusing. in what way was our lord and savior blair flirting with buck?? please, enlighten me, because if she was flirting she needs some lessons asap

this one. is eddie supposed to do everything on his own? eddie can't get through to chris, so he turns to the person who's always helped him with chris in the past, because he knows chris views him as a parental figure. leaning on your support system is not codependency. I've also attached the definition of codependency. tell me where this lines up with eddie asking buck for help in time of need

no comment. once again just her ignoring all the queer coding and representation eddie brings without being confirmed queer just because she feels her ship is threatened (and if your ship can only work because you force a character in the closet, what does that say about your ship?)

also she really likes reposting kat pettibone tweets which is insane because kat ships buddie

last but not least taking over this tumblr post about a bt breakup to steal the s10 wedding and girl dad buddie tropes

[yan-randomfandom]

Hello! Call me Yan (any prns), and I'm honestly here to satisfy my cravings as a writer 😔

♪ REQUEST STATUS: OPEN—Although please understand if I was unable to answer yours, it might be for plenty of reasons.

WHAT DO I WRITE?

x reader, my beloved i dont use y/n tho

Yandere. There are times I won't write yandere, but it's my blog's main trait.

Please read at your own risk. There will be warnings at the start of the chap!

Headcanons, one shots, and drabbles

Mostly SFW — Sexual themes are mild at most. I do not write smut.

My account is multifandom. I am in multiple fandoms, so expect my content to be different every once in a while!

☕support me on kofi!

MASTERLIST... LIST

PART I: Masterlist

Keep reading if u wanna request!

SO, YOU'RE AN ANON

You can name yourself as an anon! It's a nickname of sorts

Feel free to use a name even if it's taken! This is because I hop around fandoms, so anons may come and go, plus it's definitely an easier way to find your request (in tags) 😺

Think of your same-name-anons as like,, wow, u have the same name as me! siblings frfr??

FANDOMS?

I lurk in many fandoms. I don't want to list them all but here's what's kinda popular right now: TADC, Cookie Run, Adventure Time, and so many more!

Please don't hesitate to ask from wherever fandom you are! There's no harm in trying! :) Except BNHA. Preferably, no anime.

Better yet, feel free to list down your fandoms in the comments! Anything that you would want to see yandere content in! Just so I can browse and maybe write for!!

LIMITS?

No problematic shipping requests.

Unfortunately, I don't do OCs (':

If the character is 18-, they can be aged up if you'd like, but strictly no NSFW, or in certain circumstances, romance. They're gonna be platonic.

I don't do intense gore. While I do have yandere content, I'm on the sorta wholesome side? Define 'wholesome' ... Implied scenarios are more likely😩

I write non-yandere stories too tho!

Minors, please stay safe. Don't go meddling around with adult spaces!

Sadly, I'm lacking in knowledge of other popular media, so if you happen to request one of those, I might not reply. Instead, I'll be keeping your ask until one day I check that media out.

Doesn't matter if the character is well known or not! Cuz I WILL attempt to learn about your request!

Part 2s are my weakness. I'm sorry.

WHY IS MY REQUEST TAKING SO LONG?

...college

If it's something I've never posted about yet, then it's either I'm not in the fandom, or I'm just clueless.

But other than that... sometimes I take days— weeks— months? to truly click with an idea.

I want to enjoy whatever I'm writing, so I take a break until an idea comes up.

And there's also the fact that I'm working on multiple things at once 😭😭 I tend to focus on easier ones first!!

Also I usually think of ideas at night c:

Worst case scenario: I truly have zero idea for your request, I'm so sorry 😔

NOTES ABOUT ME!

Yandere is my guilty pleasure, I fear🤕

HOWEVER, I do not, and won't ever, condone the behavior I will portray in my writing. Please don't misunderstand, don't romanticize. They are purely fiction and for entertainment.

I regularly change my theme (profile, colors, banner, etc.) just so you know. I think it symbolizes an end of an era (im just moving hyperfixations)

This account is for everyone,, we're all just trying to find content of our favorite character fr— so please don't hesitate to request :)

As I close my eyes to sleep, that's when I start imagining scenarios for my writing!

erm skibid toilet

[bloodyblobaub]

Would Basil get cancelled? >:)

Basil would mostly post gardening and photography with his friends which is good. He steers away from Twitter and Tiktok because it wouldn't be his thing and he wouldn't feel Tumblr is a good platform because he doesn't post a lot of art but he would post gardening tutorials on Instagram and YouTube. If he were to get cancelled it wouldn't be for a big reason like talking to a minor or something plus he's 16 years old and wouldn't talk to fans because he's superstitious on hate. He also has a big comment filter or his comments are friends only. Basil would be cancelled 2021 style because of accidentally posting a vent on his story or something like that but it wouldn't last long he would just say something like "I didn't realize I posted that I'm sorry" and go on with his day. His biggest fans would be his friends obviously, photography people and gardening people. To deepen this: Ecology nerds (guilty), lofi (they use his photography for backgrounds, sometimes asking sometimes don't) and finally queer people because he definitely posts things relating to his relationships or his friends relationships like if he's in a relationship with Sunny (feeding sunflower shippers lmao) he's not to public about it but he's not scared to say that he's gay and that he has gay friends. People who wouldn't like his content would be: rage baiters because is blocks mean people and homophobes because of what i stated before. That's about it so if I'm being honest: Basil would not get cancelled plus he wouldn't take pictures of his fight with Sunny or the incident and I also think that he wouldn't get in trouble regarding the photo album because i doubt Aubrey would post about that considering she doesn't talk about it with her old friends (Sunny and Kel) "It's none of your business" so Basil would be a comfort creator who steers away from problematic things.

Give me more characters

:3

[yanderes-galore]

I hope you don't mind me sending this early because it's late at night where i live and I'm about to fall asleep 😭😭😭

Fandom: JJBA

Character: Okuyasu Nijimura

Pairing: Romantic

Type of fic: Concept, plus if you want the reader could also be in the duwang gang?

(If you don't write for him you can ignore this obvi 🤍🤍)

Honestly, been a hot minute since I've written for JJBA or watched Part 4 so if anything is off I'm so sorry. Here you go though :) I need to write more for this show... I missed it. (For those who don't know, I started yandere writing through JJBA on Wattpad. Although I don't like most of my old work for it now.)

I may add it to my next fandoms since this sparked my interest again 😅 Maybe even bring back some old JJBA fics if I feel I liked them enough, although most of them are female reader so... we'll see. Anyways! I hope you enjoy the new content I bring to the table!

Yandere! Okuyasu Nijimura Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Delusional yandere, Clingy behavior, Jealousy, Violence, Possessive behavior, Stalking, Threats, Attempted murder/Murder implied, Abandonment issues, Mentioned kidnapping, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Okuyasu is a very driven character.

He acts through his heart and is often very impulsive.

He even complains about the fact he has no girlfriend in the show.

I feel Okuyasu can both be a very intimidating yandere while also being extremely sweet.

Especially if you are part of the Duwang Gang.

I feel Okuyasu would be very sweet, considerate. and caring for his darling.

However I also feel he'd get easily carried away.

His emotions drive him too much at times which can lead to some problematic situations.

Okuyasu gets to know you when you join the friend group either through Josuke or Koichi.

Okuyasu may even be the type of guy to fall in love fast when he finds the one for him.

As stated before, Okuyasu allows his heart to guide his actions.

The heart wants what the heart wants!

While this behavior can make him sweet at times, it has side effects.

Such as making his jealousy and aggression more intense due to his impulsive behavior.

He doesn't always think his actions through and with a stand as strong as The Hand, that's a dangerous combo.

I don't imagine Okuyasu is good with flirting but his actions certainly show he has attraction towards you in the friend group.

He's very honest in his actions and openly compliments you but he's also respectful.

I no doubt feel Okuyasu pursues you slightly out of jealousy due to Koichi's relationship (Which has its own problems).

Okuyasu seems like a yandere you'd be able to control for the most part with Josuke but there's times he gets out of hand.

He takes dating advice from others on ways to impress you.

Then he tries to apply that to pursuing you.

Okuyasu feels like he'd be a clumsy stalker but still would.

Okuyasu also seems like he'd be a bad liar and feel horrible doing it, which means Josuke or Koichi would pick up on his tendencies quickly.

It's hard not to when they keep catching Okuyasu making puppy eyes over you.

It's like there's not a time he stops looking at you.

He's always just daydreaming about you and often lets his crush over you control him.

I'm sure Okuyasu means well but he would come off so strong in his obsession.

He can't help complimenting you and often gets jealous when you give away your attention to someone else.

Ah here it is, the problematic part.

Due to his impulsive behavior, Okuyasu would definitely get aggressive towards anyone he feels are taking you from him.

He's been shown to threaten those he doesn't like in the show and has tried to use The Hand for lethal force too.

It would take you to calm him down since I feel Okuyasu cares for you enough to calm down.

He doesn't want to look bad in front of you, after all.

His emotional behavior extends into other aspects of his obsession too.

If you gave this man anything of sentimental value, like a gift or a hug, it excites him and probably nearly sends him to tears.

Okuyasu holds so much love towards you and has no idea how to vent it.

He feels he can finally have a partner if he just plays his cards right with you!

Okuyasu is so optimistic and hopeful, too.

He thinks one day you'll get together, even if you don't show any signs now.

I feel if he ever asked you out and you rejected him he'd act fine, shuffle away, then start sobbing.

However, afterwards with some encouragement, he just thinks he needs to wait a bit longer before asking again!

Honestly, Okuyasu may accidentally guilt you into dating him as he's persistent.

He just knows you have to be together!

When you eventually do start dating, Okuyasu does whatever he can to please you.

He is completely head over heels for you when you finally give him a chance.

For the most part he is very sweet.

He asks others for advice on what gifts he should surprise you with.

He's often physically affectionate.

Okuyasu's biggest problem is his emotions towards those he doesn't like.

If he felt someone was flirting with you, even if you were just talking, he'd probably beat them up if not stopped.

Okuyasu can be clingy by following you everywhere.

He hangs out with you with the rest of the friend group, he even plans little dates with you alone.

As said before, Okuyasu means well, he just easily gets carried away.

If not kept under control then he may become a disastrous yandere.

For example, wiping away someone undesirable with The Hand.

I want to say Okuyasu wouldn't kidnap, he seems like he'd know better in a way.

Although if he was really pushed he may do it by accident, like in an attempt to get you to not leave him.

For the most part I feel Okuyasu would just be clingy and follow you around.

He really just acts like a puppy at times around you.

It's cute until people start going missing... and he just never wants to let you go.

Okuyasu may also have abandonment issues due to what happened in his past.

Which would make breaking up nearly unbearable or downright impossible.

Okuyasu would go into denial to the point of accidentally forcing you to stay.

He'd do anything for you!

Don't just let him go!

I feel like I want to say more about him yet I'm also out of ideas.

Overall Okuyasu certainly means well in his obsession but that same driven behavior causes dangerous problems.

From stalking, threats, potential murder, and maybe even kidnapping... Okuyasu just wants to please!

If isolating you will keep you guys together... Maybe he has to do it?

All he knows is he depends on you... he can't have you leave him!

He'd do anything for you to please you... just as long as he can have you as his.

[slasherscream]

black girl high femme reader request here 👄💅 can we get a black!reader who's aesthetic is super girly y2k w/ crazy ass boys gang. Maybe she's got a little attitude but is sweet w/ the boys?? Thank youuuuuu 🧡

A/N: oh god yes i LOVE y2k as a black girl and i want to do a fashion wardrobe reboot when i have the money, don’t care if it’s just a trend i love it

crazy ass boys gang + black!reader who loves y2k fashion

billy loomis: First off he loves brats, he really does. He doesn’t know what it is about that little attitude of yours but it gets to him. The way you dress is what first got him eyeballing you. If we’re being frank, how feminine you were made him think you’d be the perfect victim (problematic? uhm, yeah.) Local man who doesn’t know how to separate extreme attraction from his murderous urges please stand up. He started talking to you and decided he was going to go on a few dates with you first though. You’ve gotta know someone in order to make their nightmares come true when you’re killing them! But he fell in love with you instead >:((. He’ll be angry about that for a while, honestly.

josh washington: Thinks you’re a baddie. This is the highest compliment since he’s always around baddies. He can’t help it, it’s the natural order of things. He’s rich, funny, outgoing, and popular. He attracts hot people in droves. He’s only ever got eyes for you though. Thinks your attitude is well-deserved. If he looked half as hot as you he’d have an attitude too. Likes to watch you get ready when you two go out. Also likes adding new pieces to your wardrobe. The reward is watching you look so good (plus the kisses, those are great too.)

stu macher: He likes mean people so he peeps your attitude quickly and it makes him go ‘awooga’. You’ll assume it was your looks but no, it was your resting bitch face. He really likes your makeup. Loves it when you do a lip-liner and colored gloss look. Always chases you around trying to make out with you because he likes the shine of it getting smeared everywhere. Gets you a lot of accessories and designer things. You stay decked out in baby phat and baby phat equivalent. Also, he loves to match.

jd/jason dean: Isn’t that impressed with aesthetics. He’s been all around the country and observed all sorts of cliques. Still, he appreciates your dedication to one particular look. Bonus points if where you live no one else is doing it quite like you. If you’re not afraid to stick out, that will definitely grab his attention. Dressed to impress even though you’re just going on a quick snack run to 7/11? It makes him smirk. You’re a little high maintenance, and it’s not typically what he’d go for, but there’s something about your Queen Bee attitude that keeps him locked down forever. 

kevin khatchadourian: As disrespectfully as possible, he does not care ☠️. Secretly he does like that Eva hates the way you dress (she is ever so slightly prejudiced, if not ever so slightly full-on racist.) This is something you have in common as she also hates the way he dresses. Doesn’t like it when you give him attitude but doesn’t care how you treat other people at all. Probably prefers it when you’re mean to other people. The smaller your circle is the more time you have for him. Is noticeably kinder to you when you’re being sweet to him though, so keep eye-rolls and teeth sucking to a minimum for your own sake. 

nathan prescott: Tries not to be obsessed with you but he is. You make him froth at the mouth. He takes one look at you and demands you start hanging out with his crowd so he can always have you around but pretend he’s not that interested. You see right through him and probably ignore his ass, just for a laugh, just because you can. This makes him even worse and bruises his ego. He’ll break before you do and it won’t be particularly romantic but you can’t expect much when it comes to Nathan and romance. Gift giving isn’t so much his love language as it is a compulsion because he’s miserable at showing his affection any other way. Loves the way you look but is not confident enough in his taste to buy you clothes on his own. Throws his wallet at you and demands fashion shows once you get back from your shopping spree. Some of your date nights involve him just taking pictures of you and instructing you how to pose. It relaxes him. 

sebastian valmont: What’s better than one bad bitch? Two bad bitches. You two look so good together it’s sickening. You don’t match, but the opposing styles you have wind up looking very sleek side by side. He loves shopping and always pays for the trips. Will even get you two personal shoppers that will bring clothes to you so you can have “lowkey” dates at your mansion. You two are high maintenance together. Equally bratty. He loves that he can be bitchy with you but also loves that he can be sentimental and soft as well. Because of the circles he runs in, people have said one or two nasty things about you behind your back, like calling you a gold-digger. He has ruined more than a few people’s lives over these comments. Tells you about it too because he needs you to know he’ll take care of you in all regards. Romantic king. 

david mccall: You’re definitely not the first black girl he’s dated. He’s got “I regularly date black women” swag. He knows all the drills. Likes to spoil you rotten and get you to go soft for him. He likes your hard-ass persona too though. Parades you around because you’re literally the catch of the century. You two are attached at the hip because he’s toxic. There are no more girls only nights. He’s always playing body-guard. Upside, he looks hot when he’s staring people down for looking at you too long. You can always wear what you want because he’s always ready to fight. Sits and feeds you food while you get your nails and hair done and never complains no matter how long it takes. The only thing he does afterwards is fawn over the way you look and pay the bill. Again, he knows the drill. 

sparrow!ben hargreeves: Is very focused on appearances since he’s always lived in the limelight. He’s always put together so he needs a partner who is on the same wavelength when it comes to looking good. Knows you’re not dating him for his fame because you give nasty ass looks to the paparazzi whenever they interrupt dates. It honestly makes him laugh, which is hard to do. He loves your mean little attitude when it’s directed at other people. Do not get snippy with him or y’all will be yelling at each other anytime and anyplace. Apologizes to you with expensive gifts. You make him use his words anyways and it enrages him, but he’s addicted to you so he says he’s sorry through gritted teeth. (He thinks the thousands of dollars of Off-White clothes he got you should have sufficed as a “sorry” but he keeps his mouth wisely shut.)

like my writing? support me through my cashapp or kofi! both are slasherscream.