#plus that one cat helping the rats

[otiksimr]

what if i give you cheese. i have so much. so much cheese. can i please hire your cheese thieves i have SO much cheese

i LIKE cheese but this is just. SO MUCH cheese

Rats. Get their ass.

[shubbabang]

Hi 👋

For those who have not seen on my other social medias, we were involved in a house fire on the 31st of last year. A grease fire started in the apartment below us and spread to our apartment causing extensive damage to the living room, kitchen, and smoke damage to every other part of the house.

My cat, and one of my roommates cats and pet rats were in the building still during the fire, (smoke was bad enough there was only time to grab one cat, I was out getting the mail when it started) but thankfully all animals were rescued and got vet visits.

Unfortunately we are now in the moving process again, so I will be unable to work on things for a time. We have renters insurance, however due to the damages we might still have to pay for a lot of things, plus the cost of moving to a new apartment, so once we’re more settled in, I am toying with the idea of small emergency commissions (chibi head icons or something akin to that) while I get back to work on my Patreon related things and other bigger commissions to help mitigate the financial impact.

Some people on other social medias have asked if there was anything they could do to help, and currently all I can do is plug my Patreon and commission info. Nothing is expected of course since I will not be able to work on things for a bit, but if you’d like to get a commission set up or would like to support me on Patreon, any help is greatly appreciated, including reblogs.

Thank you all in the meantime and I hope you all have a good 2025 and stay safe out there!

[suiana]

yandere! golden boy who is your loving boyfriend and... surprisingly loves listening to you talk about your interests! yes darling, talk about your games and novels and silly plushies! he loves seeing how interested you can get about things you're passionate about and it just makes him feel so warm on the inside.

you might even go as far to say he ENCOURAGES your interests. buying you plushies, taking you to exhibitions/places you want... you don't even have to ask, just one look with your eyes and he's taking out his card. yeah, it doesn't matter if you have an unhealthy attachment to that fat cat pusheen or whatever. you seem to really like it so he's buying that 400 dollar plushie for you.

on the same note... he can't help but get jealous when you're gushing over attractive fictional characters. SPECIFICALLY that ONE dude that you seem to have EVERYWHERE. on the wall, on your phone cover, lock screen, profile picture, fuck, even on your bed as a plushie! and all he gets is a meager nickname on his contact?!

"sweetie, must you... really have all these... THINGs of HIM?"

"he's my first husband, you're my second. of course i have merch of him. plus I'm not gonna just throw all these away, i spent big money on these ya know 💀"

he knows it's petty! he knows that it's just a fictional character and that he shouldn't be jealous but dude! you don't even have him in your wallet! it's that freaking guy!

so he does what evey sane boyfriend does and replaces some (not all just some!) of your merchandise with pictures of him and you. how adorable, right?

no.

"bro where is the portrait of my MAN🤬🤬🤬"

"i replaced it with a nice picture of us together darling☺️ look at how cute-"

oh. and you...you just put another photo of that guy again... oh... and you're ranting on reddit/instagram about how he's being mean... you also removed him from your close friends list... oh you... you also decided to kick him off the bed and onto the sofa... oh...

well no biggie! he has lots of patience and he will sneak in his presence into your stuff. he's determined.

"best friend I'm going to need you to cosplay as my favorite character please ☺️"

damn!

why didn't he think of that sooner? if you can't win the normal way, you should do it another way, right? he can just get you to see how much better he is and you'll eventually replace that fictional man for HIM!

...

yeah, that didn't work out as planned. now you're even more in love with that character and you're asking him to cosplay every other day. erm... at least.. your wallpaper is a picture of him cosplaying the character??? he'll take what he can get.

"lol best friend, did you see that video i sent you. it's so stupid."

"for the last time, sweetie. we're dating, call me boyfriend. and which one? I can't watch every single one of the 99+ reels you send me."

"a real best friend would watch them all..."

being with you has singlehandedly changed this man. for the worse or for the better, he doesn't know. but what he does know is that you DON'T know how to dress.

"sweetie, no. you can't just go out in a shirt and shorts! you look like adam sandler!"

"clothes are clothes 🤬"

at least he has a fun time dressing you up. you're like, his cute little rat! his very own personal dress up rat! oh how he wants to just keep you in his pocket and pick out pretty clothes for you, making you look like the cutest thing ever! sure you might take them off and just wear what you want but... at least he's got the photos and the sight of you in a pretty outfit ingrained into the folds of his brain already ☺️ and he'll take every chance he can get to put you into another pretty outfit again. that i assure you.

he... has ALSO found out that you are living on instant noodles, sandwiches, and the occasional takeout. you don't even open the curtains! how can you see in such a dark home? and why are you sleeping until midday?! dear oh dear. you really are a rat, huh?

"darling get up! it's 12 in the afternoon already!"

"i slept at 3 just let me sleep more..."

that simply won't do. he will not be allowing you to lead such a horrid lifestyle! not if he can help it! especially because... well, he's also your boss. from part 1, remember! yeah, you guys didn't break up at the end haha! you were just joking, obviously! not like you'll ever be able to break up. it's in the contract, silly.

"come on, get up. you need to have a healthy lifestyle. I've already gotten my personal chef to cook up a healthy meal for you."

"who's gonna stop me from living like this? you? 😂😂😂"

"yes, me. in our contract, remember? i will be responsible for your health from now till we die."

don't worry. he'll be by your side every step of the way. and hey, who knows? maybe you can even teach him a thing or two about gaming or something else you like! he's open to learning about the things you like.

and he won't even have to worry about you finding another REAL person to like because... well, let's just say you don't even like going out for dinner. we'll keep it at that ☺️

[jyuansgf]

boss!pantalone x maid f!reader. 18+ minors dni. ⌗ breeding kink, bit of voyeurism, just horny thoughts for pantalone honestly. >__< (notes at the end.)

♡ okay but pantalone as your overworked boss who uses you for his own satisfaction!! :( you’ve been serving under him as a loyal maid – lucky for you, he decided to pick you up on the cold streets of snezhnaya. you were on the verge from dying of cold, from being starved. until this man changed your whole entire life, picking you up from the streets like you were just some stray cat. originally he would’ve turned you into the house of the heart, but why would he do that? in the first place he doesn’t even usually care, but he sees something in you. at least you have a purpose when it comes to him and in his eyes, you make an attractive ornament on his desk.

boss!pantalone who uses you for his own pleasure, every night after an irritating day dealing with commoners–and money. you just know what to do the moment he enters his own office where you just stand or sit around prettily there, the other maids are always jealous of you. were you actually a maid or just a pretty doll whose job is just to stand around his office? you would often ask pantalone to give you a task or to help the other maids but unfortunately, he would just shrug it off with a chuckle. you want him to give you a task, you say? but it would always end up with you on your knees as you suck him off prettily, soon enough your throat would be full of his seed as he praises you for doing a good job.

boss!pantalone who hates to see you get dirty, he would always often buy you pretty clothes, dresses or anything you ask for! even pretty lingerie sets. as always, everything’s gonna get expensive. you want those pretty necklaces? you can get it. you want those cute mary jane shoes? of course! he would buy you everything. he would like to see you dress up for him, he would even ask you to do a show for him in the bedroom you two share. do a little spin in front of him with that cute dress he bought for you, look pretty, be a doll for him. but don’t whine when the dress gets ruined, because soon enough you would be a writhing mess under him and the only reason why he wants you to be pretty is because he think it’s more fun to ruin pretty things, until you’re crying, sobbing and a writhing begging mess for him. (he would buy you a new one if you really liked it, don’t worry.)

boss!pantalone who would often bring you to his personal meetings with the harbingers–or with his underlings, they all find you pretty, of course. but one time–one of the fatui agents had made a mistake just by looking at you as if he’s undressing you with those eyes. and the next moment, he’s tied up in front of you two on his knees as you sit on pantalone’s lap with your legs wide open as his delicate fingers, knuckles deep inside your pussy making you cum on his fingers, plus points if he made you squirt! after all, the main goal was to give the agent a show of how good you are and that he will never have the chance to touch you. it was pantalone’s own way of punishing, but soon enough, the agent would be turned into one of dottore’s lab rats.

boss!pantalone who would sometimes see you hanging around with the kids of the house of the heart, he thinks it’s cute. the way you giggle around them, the way you randomly give them candies, and the way you actually let one of those kids sit on your lap as you tell them some fairy tales stories. one of the kids would even ask him personally of how you’re doing and why you haven’t paid them a visit yet. he thinks it’s lovely to see you around them. and as far as he can remember, you don’t even mention to him how much you love kids, is it because they see you as a sister figure or a mother? but in the end, pantalone would end up having these thoughts to breed you, to pump you full of his little pups inside your womb. he didn’t even think about this before but something awakened inside him, a usual fuck would fix this for him, right? but it didn’t. the thought of seeing you with a swollen belly around him, in your maid outfit–or any dress that he bought for you, he just can’t help it. soon enough you’d be pinned down on the bed, as he fucks you rough! you have no idea why he’s being rough. but he just aims to breed you, to cum inside your tight cunt until you’re leaking :( he would watch your cute little cunt as you can’t handle it to keep it in you anymore. but don’t worry! he’ll just fuck you as many times as he can, until he’s sure you’re fully bred to the point the only thing inside your tummy is his cum.

whew that was long.. tbh this is just me yapping & being freaky about pantalone >__< need this man playable already!!!! it's the voices telling him he has a breeding kink its ok. after the leaks of the voicelines about him, i love that he's a certified yapper :3!! (me too mr pants..) need this man to talk right next to my ear as he fingers me AHSHFSFHJSHF as always asks or reqs are open!! if you have any hcs, i'd like to hear about them please ^__^ most of my posts aren't proofread, so forgive me i just rawdog my way out of it ok ^u^)9

[koolades-world]

More Obey me! Headcannons

had so much fun last time I wanted to do it again

Satan is so smart, but has issues doing basic math and refuses to admit it, like he can’t figure out fifteen plus seven without his fingers or a calculator (is this me projecting? maybe)

Belphie bought himself and Mc matching house slippers. Mc thought Beel felt left out and made Belphie buy a pair for him too

Beel has a huge green thumb, and takes upon himself to save plants he thinks are sad or lonely. He buys the dying plants from the store to bring back to life (partially inspired by the chat where someone, forgot who, told beel that if he talked to plants they would grow faster my precious baby)

Lucifer is the best cook at the HoL, but rarely has time to cook. Beel is the second best but usually eats the ingredients before he can make anything with them. Mammon is probably the worst because Levi can make food from animes almost perfectly

Asmo once almost set a store he was collaborating with on fire with his rage alone because they spelt his name wrong

Beel probably needs a new toothbrush every couple weeks. Belphie probably gets toothbrushes mixed up and uses ones that aren’t his

Lucifer and Solomon like prune juice haha old men

The one thing Luke and Simeon have seriously disagreed on is if raisins belong in dessert. Michael likes them, so Luke does too. Simeon thinks they’re awful but never directly says it, so Lucifer usually says it for him

Despite always being online, Levi had not once checked his RAD email. He has 9,999+ emails, probably a lot more because 9,999 is where it stops counting

Mammon collects cool rocks and keeps them in a box under his bed

Satan’s hands are always freezing, so he sticks them under Mc (or a cat) when possible, or uses a charmed hot water bottle from Solomon that stays warm for days at a time

Solomon and Asmo have had matching bracelet sets for as long as they’ve known each other, and since they didn’t make them anymore, they got some custom done for Mc so they could also have them

For about 1,000 years, Thirteen though jelly beans were an actual kind of bean and Solomon never let her let it go

The first food Mc and Mammon ate on a date in the human world together was Taiyaki, so he made it a point to learn how to make them to surprise Mc (even though he’s a terrible cook) (I might make this a fic since I like this idea so much)

Diavolo has always wanted a Devildom version of a hamster but Barbatos refused to have any kind of rodent in the castle, rat or not

Luke probably downloads those stupid app games with the ads unironically

Satan’s favorite Disney Princess is Ariel because she ran off to do what she wanted without caring what her father thought, it’s giving daddy issues. He’s probably considered running off and marrying Mephisto to make Lucifer angry

Raphael unironically enjoys off brand chips and soda

Lucifer is a nail biter, and Asmo is helping him curve the habit by putting a nasty tasting top coat when he does his nails, and it’s also why he wears gloves all the time.

Belphie and Satan once went up to the humans world together to mess with people in Salem, Massachusetts with magic, which spawned several conspiracy theory books. They read them together and laugh as a past time

Diavolo once went to the human world in his demon form for,, reasons, and accidentally got written into ancient mythology because he got spotted by humans

Barbatos had a home garden for cooking and sometimes lets Asmo have leaves from some of the plants to make homemade skin care products

Mammon probably has lots of earwax. Don’t share your earbuds with him unless you make him clean them afterwards

Belphie has a really large water bottle that’s always on his side table. He wakes up randomly though the night, chugs an ungodly amount of water and then passed out again. In the mornings he has to piss really bad but is too lazy to get up and actually do it, so he just sits and complains. Even Beel isn’t sure how he’s able to drink that much water in a short amount of time

Satan likes waking up early to enjoy the morning air and read outside for a while since mornings can get hectic with his brothers

Thirteen’s favorite torture device is the Iron Maiden. She had her own that she bedazzled. Even Asmo is jealous and wants her to make him one too

Mammon introduced Diavolo to Gatorade, and instead of sneaking behind Lucifer and Barbatos’s backs to drink Demonus, they have secret Gatorade meetings

Diavolo and Lucifer definitely both had a hidden Dialuci stash of things and probably clash trying to collect limited edition things online

None of the Obey me cast took birthdays or passing of years seriously until Mc entered the picture and suddenly time was precious, and they actually kept track. Because of this, nobody is really sure how old the twins are

Mephisto thinks roosters want world domination

Asmo thinks cilantro tastes like soap and Levi thinks anything cola flavored tastes like cough medicine

Mammon's favorite party trick is one Mc taught him, which is rolling his tongue Everyone he meets, including his brothers, thinks it's so cool when really it's just a genetic thing

[buckys-little-belle]

Hey, saw you wanted head cannon requests so I am here to give some.

So a little who loves fall! Apples, leaves, smells, cider, halloween, bats, costumes, all of it! I love fall so so much, so I think fall headcanons would be so cute!

I personally like the marauders, but I know you don't write for them all the time, plus I also like others! (And I can't pick lol) so steve/bucky, to steve/eddie, to Marauders, I love them all so much and I love how you write them!

I personally am masc/enby so if your ok with writing the headcanons either masc or enby that'd be great, but if not, fem works, too.

I love your writing either way. Have a nice day! Or night!

-The small Rat Boi

Fall Fan

Marauders (Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter) x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)

Warnings -

Notes -

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW!

. ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ .

The boys, especially Remus, love fall. It's pretty, and it's still nice enough outside to go for walks, but also cool enough that a cup of tea and it's steam helps warm a chilled nose.

The three of them loved it even more after they met you, a true Fall Fan. You loved every aspect of it, the apple orchard, the pumpkin patch, halloween, falling leaves, everything.

So the boys dive head first into fall now that you're stuck by their sides.

They 100% plan group halloween costumes! They'll buy everything they need from the thrift store, and they'll sew things/glue things if need be. You get to pick what the theme is, but you leave the adult stuff like hot glue, sewing needles, and the pain of having to somehow make retractable bat wings to them.

They definitely hand out buckets of candy to the others in the dorm, making sure you get to go trick or treating from room to room. Filling your pillow case with small snacks that are somehow all your favorite things ...

Remus is a amateur photographer, so when fall comes around he makes you, Sirius, and James all pose in different ways for his portfolio. He does his best to capture the movement right when you throw leaves in the air, and he tries his best to get the three of you to do some more serious poses.

James loves going apple picking, he did it as a kid and couldn't wait to take you. All four of you walk around from tree to tree picking different apples to take home, warm apple cider in your hands, well their hands, they won't let you hold the cup since it didn't come with a lid.

Sirius is the perfect companion to carve pumpkins with. He's good at art, and so every time you come up with some crazy idea for a carving he's already rolling up his sleeves and grabbing his sketch pad.

Walks through the castle grounds become your favorite thing. Kicking through leaf piles, or jumping in them. Finding pretty leaves to hang in your dorm room window. Fighting with James over who found the biggest leaf (it was you, but you said he won so he wouldn't be sad)

The boys definitely surprise you with little fall gifts here and there. A pair of black cat socks one day, a mug shaped like a pumpkin on a random Thursday, a bat stuffed animal another day. You cherish them with your whole heart, and jump up and down every time they say they have a surprise.

They take turns making up fall related bedtime stories, Sirius' are always sort of scary, James' are silly every time, and Remus' you swear should become a children's book writer because his are the most well rounded.

All in all fall with the boys is the best time of the year. It's action packed, and full of little adventures, and it's a season stuffed to the brim with fun activities.

[advisorykitty]

Cat-Nap

Nyen x Reader x Robert

The Ivory Household was as quiet as it ever got, which was still not quiet at all. The sound of scurrying footsteps echoed through the walls as Sebastian and Randal did whatever gosh knows what. Meanwhile, Nyen, the house’s resident grump, was pacing the halls with a string of curses muttered under his breath.

“That fucking traitor,” Nyen snarled, his tail flicking with irritation. “One of our own, siding with those rats. Damn bastard.”

He stalked down the corridor like a predator on the hunt, his boots hitting the floor with a menacing thud. He could already feel his blood pressure rising at the thought of it—a cat—giving food to those scrappy little rats. It was a betrayal of the highest order, and Nyen wasn’t one to let things slide.

Nyon, the quieter of the two catmen, stood awkwardly to the side, watching his fellow feline work himself into a rage. His eyes blinked slowly, not quite understanding why Nyen was so furious—again.

“They’re... nice?” Nyon mumbled, but his comment barely registered. Nyen was too busy plotting what he’d do when he caught you. Spoiler: it wasn’t going to be pretty.

---

Meanwhile, you were blissfully unaware of the brewing shitstorm. As a catperson yourself, you knew Nyen had a short fuse, but today, you couldn’t be bothered to worry about it. Instead, you were curled up in one of your favorite napping spots: a cupboard. Not just any cupboard, though—a small, cramped one in the pantry, filled with jars and cans you used as makeshift pillows.

The ratmen had grown on you in a way you hadn’t expected. At first, you were just indifferent. They were scavengers, scrappy and a little annoying, but after spending enough time around them, you realized they weren’t all bad. Plus, they were always in need of food, and you didn’t mind slipping them a loaf of bread or some cheese every now and then , also do you mention how good their taste was??Anyway.

Nyen would lose his mind if he found out—again—but that was a risk you were willing to take.

Today had been one of those days. You’d helped Robert grab some food earlier, and now, after your little good deed, you’d settled down for a nap, feeling pretty good about yourself.

---

Robert, meanwhile, was already sneaking through the pantry again. He hadn’t planned on making another trip today, but when the others had drawn straws for who had to go scavenging, he’d come up short. So here he was, slipping through a crack in the wall, looking for food—and not expecting to find you curled up in the cupboard, fast asleep.

He stopped, hands on his hips, staring at you with a look of disbelief. “Really?” he muttered to himself. “Of all places...”

“Hey,” Robert said, giving the cupboard a light knock. You didn’t stir.

“Oi. Wake up,” he said, louder this time, tapping the wood with his foot.

You let out a sleepy groan, your ears twitching as you blinked yourself awake. Slowly, you lifted your head, bleary-eyed and yawning.

“Oh, hey,” you mumbled, stretching out your arms. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Robert crossed his arms, giving you a flat look. “You always pick the weirdest places to sleep.”

“It’s cozy,” you said with a shrug, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for food, what else? We need it,” Robert replied, raising an eyebrow.

You sat up a bit more, realizing he probably wasn’t in the mood for your usual laziness. “Right. Let me help, just give me a sec”

With a quick stretch and a few groggy blinks, you hopped out of the cupboard and began grabbing things off the shelves. Within minutes, you handed Robert a couple of loaves of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a small block of cheese—your usual haul for the ratmen.

“Here,” you said, flashing him a sleepy smile. “This should hold you guys over.”

Robert gave a small nod, his way of saying thanks without actually saying it. “You’re alright,” he muttered. Quickly running over to the whole he made earlier to prevent from potentially dying, again.

“Don’t tell Nyen,” you replied with a chuckle. “He’ll lose it if he finds out I helped you again.”

---

Unfortunately for you, Nyen was already hot on your trail. His temper had only gotten worse over the last hour, especially when he noticed the pantry door was cracked open. His suspicions were confirmed when he caught sight of Robert sneaking away with food—again.

“That fucking traitor!” Nyen hissed, storming toward the pantry. “They gave food to those rats again! Unbelievable!”

Nyon, who had been trailing behind, watched with his usual wide-eyed expression. “Maybe... talk first?” he offered weakly, but Nyen was already too far gone.

He shoved the pantry door open, tail lashing behind him as he glared around the small room, his eyes finally landing on you. You were sitting on the floor, leaning against the cupboard, looking a little too comfortable for someone who had just committed high treason in Nyen’s eyes.

“You!” Nyen growled, pointing an accusing finger in your direction. “You fucking rat-loving bastard! Again? Really?”

You blinked up at him, still half-asleep. “What?”

“Don’t play dumb with me!” Nyen snapped, his voice getting louder. “I saw you! You’re helping them, aren’t you? Feeding those filthy little rodents like some... some traitor!”

You rubbed the back of your neck, shrugging. “I mean, they were hungry. It’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal?” Nyen’s eyes were practically bulging out of his head at this point. “You’re supposed to obey Master Luther! And here you are, handing out food to the enemy like some kind of—” He struggled to find a word foul enough, so he just settled on more swearing. “Fucking rat-loving piece of shit.”

You sighed, standing up and brushing off your clothes. “Look, it’s not like I’m giving them gourmet meals or anything. It’s just bread and cheese. Calm down.”

Nyen looked like he was about to explode. “Calm down? Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down when you’re over here making nice with rats? Do you have any idea how much I hate those little fuckers?”

You glanced over at the door, wondering if you could make a break for it. Nyen was worked up, but he wasn’t exactly quick on his feet when he got this angry.

“Just... take a deep breath, okay?” you offered, trying to deescalate the situation. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack at this rate.”

Nyen took a step closer, his claws twitching at his sides. “I swear to god, if you don’t stop helping them, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Nyen paused, his mouth hanging open as he tried to come up with a suitable threat. Finally, he just growled in frustration. “I’ll make your life a living hell, that’s what! You’ll wish you never set foot in this house, traitor.”

“Yeah, sure,” you replied casually, stepping around him. “Anyway, I’m going back to my nap. Try not to lose your mind while I’m gone, okay?”

With that, you sauntered out of the pantry, leaving Nyen standing there, fists clenched, seething.

Nyon, who had watched the whole thing in stunned silence, finally spoke up. “They... nice?”

Nyen threw his hands in the air. “Nice? Nice? They’re a fucking menace, that’s what they are!”

Nyon just blinked.

---

-----

The days after you’d helped Robert and the rats were blissfully uneventful—at least, for you. Nyen, on the other hand, was stewing in his rage. He’d caught wind of your little act of "betrayal," and it had only added to the fire already burning in him. You could almost hear the distant thumping of his heavy boots as he stalked through the corridors, looking for you, no doubt.

And here you were, curled up comfortably in a cupboard, dozing off again. It wasn’t the first time you’d fallen asleep in weird places. If anything, it was your signature move, and if Robert or the other ratmen needed something, they’d know exactly where to find you.

But right now, you were far from the safety of your cupboard dreamland. The sound of furious footsteps stomping down the hall woke you from your nap, and your ears twitched as you lazily blinked your eyes open.

“Fucking... rat-loving... traitor.”

You recognized the voice immediately and groaned, pulling the cupboard door open just a crack. There, standing in the hallway, was Nyen, his eyes practically glowing with fury.

He spotted you in an instant, his expression twisting into something between disgust and rage. His lips curled back into a snarl, and he marched over to your hiding spot, yanking the cupboard door wide open.

“There you are, you lazy piece of shit,” he spat, his voice dripping with venom. “Thought you could hide in here forever, huh?”

You stretched lazily, completely ignoring the murderous look in his eyes. “Hide? Nah. I was napping.”

Nyen’s claws twitched dangerously, his tail lashing behind him. “You think this is a fucking joke, don’t you?”

You shrugged, sliding out of the cupboard and dusting yourself off. “I mean, you’re the one who keeps getting worked up over a few crumbs of bread.”

Nyen’s eyes widened in disbelief, his anger boiling over. “A few crumbs? You’ve been feeding those disgusting rats for days! You’re practically throwing them a fucking banquet in there!”

You grinned, leaning back against the wall. “They were hungry.”

“I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY’RE HUNGRY!” Nyen roared, his claws slashing through the air as he stepped closer. “They’re rats! They steal, they spread disease, they’re filth. And here you are, playing house with them like some sort of... fucking rat sympathizer!”

Your grin widened. “Well, when you put it like that—”

Nyen snapped. His kinfe swiped at your face, and you barely dodged in time, the tip of his kinfe grazing your cheek. You winced, more out of surprise than pain, but you stayed where you were, refusing to back down.

Before Nyen could lunge at you again, a soft voice interrupted the tension.

“Nyen... please... calm down.”

It was Nyon, standing quietly in the hallway, his wide sherbet pink eyes blinking at the scene before him. He looked worried, his hands fidgeting nervously at his sides.

“They... not so bad,” Nyon mumbled, his thick accent making his voice sound even softer. “They... just hungry.”

Nyen shot him a glare so sharp it could’ve cut steel. “Shut the fuck up, Nyon.”

Nyon, as usual, didn’t flinch. He just kept blinking, his expression one of quiet confusion. “But... they not hurting anyone.”

Nyen let out a snarl, his patience snapping completely. “I SAID SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!” With a quick, furious motion, he shoved Nyon hard, sending him stumbling back into the wall. The impact wasn’t enough to hurt him seriously, but it was enough to make Nyon’s eyes widen in shock, his usually calm demeanour faltering for a split second.

Your jaw tightened as you watched Nyon stumble. “That was unnecessary.”

Nyen turned his glare back to you, his voice a low, dangerous growl. “Don’t fucking lecture me. You don’t get to act all high and mighty when you’re the reason this shit’s happening.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, please. You’ve hated those rats long before I got here.”

Nyen’s eyes narrowed, his claws flexing again. “Yeah, and I’m this close to getting rid of the whole fucking lot of them.”

You frowned. “You’re not seriously thinking about...”

“I’m fucking done with this,” Nyen hissed, stepping closer until his face was just inches from yours. His breath was hot, and you could see the raw, unfiltered hatred burning in his eyes. “If I catch you giving them so much as a fucking breadcrumb again, I’ll make sure you regret it. I don’t care if you think you’re being some kind of hero, feeding them out of the goodness of your heart. You’re not. You’re just a fucking idiot who’s making everything worse and cant respect their masters orders.”

You held his gaze, refusing to back down even as his claws hovered dangerously close to your throat. “They’re just trying to survive, Nyen. They’re not the enemy.”

“They are the enemy,” Nyen spat, his voice dripping with venom. “And if you keep helping them, then so are you.”

For a moment, the air between you was thick with tension, both of you locked in a silent standoff. You could feel Nyen’s fury radiating off him like heat, his every muscle coiled and ready to strike. But you didn’t flinch. You never flinched.

After what felt like an eternity, Nyen let out a sharp breath and stepped back, his claws retracting but his eyes still burning with rage.

“You’ve been warned,” he growled, his voice low and dangerous. “Next time, I won’t be so fucking nice.”

With that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the pantry, his heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway as he disappeared from sight.

Nyon, who had been watching quietly from the sidelines, finally stepped forward, his eyes still wide with concern. He didn’t say anything at first, just blinking at you as if trying to process what had just happened.

You let out a breath, rubbing the back of your neck. “You okay?”

Nyon nodded slowly. “Yes. But... Nyen... very angry.”

You snorted. “Yeah, no shit.”

Nyon tilted his head, his brow furrowing slightly. “Why... you help rats? You know.. he hate them.”

You shrugged, leaning back against the wall again. “Because they’re not bad. They’re just... doing what they have to do to survive. Same as us.”

Nyon blinked, clearly still trying to wrap his head around the concept. “But... they steal.”

“Um.. that's kinda true.. but I give it to then so I wouldn't say they steal??"

Nyon was silent for a moment, his pink eyes studying you carefully. Then, after what felt like a long pause, he nodded again, as if something had finally clicked in his mind.

“I see,” he said quietly. “You... kind.”

You smiled faintly. “I guess so.”

Nyon didn’t say anything else, just gave you a small, shy smile before turning and following in Nyen’s footsteps, disappearing down the hallway without another word.

As the tension in the room finally faded, you leaned back against the wall again, your mind already drifting back to the idea of another nap .

You rest your eyes for a bit, fatigue overtaking your senses. Man it would be nice to sleep..

But this time, as you settled back into the cupboard, you couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be before Nyen came after you again.

Something told you it wouldn’t be long.

(P.s this was a request on ao3 , also this isn't proof read so sorry for errors (；へ：) )

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Ello! Can I request Fnaf movie Mike meeting like a Homeless kid who lives in the pizzeria who gives him tips and tricks to survive headcanons? Basically to confuse the robots they like wear the head of a offbrand/prototype Crow animatronic? They just chill and goof around but remain out of sight from the famous man behind the slaughter and his daughter? :3

Ever since you've made Freddy Fazbear's Pizza into your "home", you quickly learned the ins and outs of the establishment.

You knew what times the animatronics automatically started their shows, where all the security camera blindspots were, how to make a pizza quick and easy, etc.

Above all else, however, you knew how to avoid those robots so they didn't try to make you like them.

Normally, they'd be protective over children--they weren't hostile because you were a homeless kid breaking in and living there.

It's the missing kids themselves.

They've visited your dreams, and every time it ends the same way: with Cassidy asking if you wanted to "join" them and getting frustrated when you refused.

You learned what happened to them and communicated via drawings for a while...until you accidentally broke something, which made them assume you were deliberately trying to destroy the place.

So you've been playing a sort of cat-and-mouse game since, often pranking them and thwarting their attempts to capture you, but never meaning anything ill by it.

If anything, they seem to like these little games, too.

After reading some old employee handbooks, you discovered that the animatronics have a programming glitch that makes them confuse humans for endoskeletons without suits on--and they'd use lethal ways to "fix" them.

Conveniently, you've found a costume head of a crow (likely from a partner of Freddy's or some ripoff brand) backstage, and after successfully tricking Foxy with it...you realized how helpful this could be to the security guards who've applied here and "vanished".

Fastforward to when you meet Mike, fully aware he's the next guard to possibly die (the last one got himself killed before you could even properly warn him in advance--not that he would have believed you anyways).

He's understandably concerned bc you're just a kid who's all alone here with no family, and given his trauma....he suddenly feels like he needs to protect you.

Instead, though, it's the opposite.

"Slide that toolbox in front of the floor vent."

He eyes you strangely, wondering why a kid was bossing him around. "...why?"

"Trust me."

The second Mike does that, he jumps as something starts growling and slamming against the vent's grates, clearly trying to get out and failing as it retreats soon after.

"What the hell was that??"

"Probably just rats." You innocently shrug. "Or Mr. Cupcake who seems especially hungry tonight."

"I'm sorry....the cupcake moves?"

You realize he's absolutely clueless, so you tell him about the animatronics and their routines, showing him the crow costume head.

He's impressed that you know so much about this place (like you were an employee), but he doesn't believe they're capable of doing any harm until later on.

When he brings Abby, you easily see through the facade they're all putting on for her, but you play along with their antics while building the pillow fort (although you avoid talking or looking at Vanessa, never trusting her nor the yellow rabbit your "friends" spoke of).

During the final night where you both rescue her from Chica, you urge Mike to use the crow mask to trick Bonnie and Freddy.

He was certain it'll never work.

They couldn't be that dumb....surely they'll know it's him trying to sneak backstage..

Plus the mask was stuffy and heavy, and he just think it's easier to taze them.

But at your insistence, he tries it on and is shocked when they stare at him for a moment, before continuing their scheduled "show", completely unaware of his ruse.

It does make him wonder how you figured that out all on your own..

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:

mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️

ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music

---

the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."

it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!

---

miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".

THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.

MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS

i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.

the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it

the "DIE-suki" pun.

the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.

the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking

i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.

the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.

Propaganda for CAT:

"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.

You’ve got a lovely “jingle” (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.

The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.

The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.

The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.

And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.

As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."

---

-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*

-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk

-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.

-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.

-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.

---

FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!

THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.

THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.

Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.

[sazwritesstuff]

Espresso | Part 1

Coffee Shop AU | Logan Howlett x fem!reader

Summary: You've been a barista at the same cafe for the past few years. You've gotten to know a far few regulars over those years, some you know by name and others you know only by their order. They make your job just a tiny bit more bearable. So when a new handsome regular begins to show up day after day you can't help but take notice.

Tags/warnings: Coffee Shop AU, barista reader, meet cute, swearing, soft Logan | Worst Wolverine (Deadpool 3)

Posted on AO3 here

No one else liked doing the opening shift but you and Sandy. Everyone else complained about having to get up so early to open at 6.30 in the morning. You, on the other hand, preferred it because it meant you got to leave earlier. There was usually an hour, sometimes two, where there were no customers to deal with. Or only a handful of regulars that you had gotten to know over the past couple of years since you started working at the cafe.

Carrol always had a latte with two slices of brown toast, no butter. With a newspaper or a book. If there were no other customers, she’d happily tell you about her daughter and grandchildren.

Gareth always had a black coffee, in a takeaway cup, sitting with his two dogs near the front door.

Paul, a roofer, came in twice a day for an extra-hot mocha in a takeaway cup that he can sit outside with. Even when it’s raining.

There were a few more that came in throughout the day that you had yet to learn the names of. Most of them you liked but there were a few regulars that got n your tits. Usually because they had one of the most awkward bloody orders that they’d get during rushes and find something to complain about. Despite getting the exact same thing every time.

The regulars that you got during the opening shift tended to be pensioners or part of the “yummy mummy” club. Some faces you recognised more than others. But there were always new faces coming and going, some recognising you when you had no clue who they were.

It was one of those curses of hospitality. That and always being understaffed. Or underpaid. Forced to do way too many hours…

Honestly, it was kind of shit.

But there was a new regular that you had noticed that had started coming in everyday now, getting the same black coffee and just sitting in one of the armchairs by the window. Nothing remarkable about his order. Simple. Easy. You gotten in the habit of getting it ready for him as soon as you saw him in the queue.

He was a man of few words. Polite though. Never rude to you, Sandy or any of your other colleagues. But you had seen him tell a few not so nice customers (usually men, but there were the odd Karen mixed in there) to “go fuck yourself” followed by a few other choice words.

Most people tried to start a fight until they actually turned around and found an over six-foot tall older man with more muscles than most gym rats.

He had become a bit of a favourite of yours.

You’d managed to make him smile a few times and even get a few short laughs out of him.

He was tall, handsome, older than you (but that had never stopped you before), and you so desperately wanted to know his name!

Even if it was just to add fuel to your little fantasies about him. Like running you fingers through his thick brown hair and tugging at the little tufts of hair that remind you of cat ears. Or running your hands up and down those veiny, muscular arms. Or giving his plump rump a smack.

If you could climb that man like a tree, you would die happy.

But you didn’t want to do the classic write your name on his coffee cup with your number, which was practically impossible as he preferred to sit in with a mug, or write it down on a napkin that he’d surely lose.

You’d seen and read enough rom-coms to know that was a terrible idea. Plus, it felt a little cliche.

Simply just asking him for his name and number weren’t an option either.

One, you had never seen him actually using a phone so you had no idea if he even had one. Two, he looked as if he was old enough to be you father (again, not that that had ever stopped you before) and could easily be married or in a serious relationship. Three, your co-workers all already teased you about your preference for older men. Four… he made you nervous. So, so nervous.

He was ruggedly handsome. Tall. Muscular (you wanted to lick those veins you’d seen peeking out under his sleeves).

Today, he’d come in while you’d gone to get some more milk from the walk-in. Sandy had served him his usual, your eyes straying over to where he sat with his coffee by the window.

“I see the crush is still going strong.” Sandy joked as she tamped down the coffee grounds before slotting the portafilter into the machine.

“Shut up! I can’t help it if he’s hot.” Without glancing up you said as you knelt down to put the milk away in the service fridge.

Sandy laughed at your words. “Still haven’t ask for his number then, have you?”

Straightening you sighed, “No. I haven’t and I’m not going to.”

Sandy placed the cappuccino down in front of customer waiting “Here you go! Enjoy!” with a large false smile on her face. Turning back towards you as the customer walked away, she crossed her arms and leant back against the counter. “If he was my type I would totally go for it. But I don’t have daddy issues.”

“No, you just have mommy issues, Sands.”

“Yeah, and if a hot MILF walked in here, I would be all over her like a fly on shit.”

“You’re so gross.”

“So, I’ve been told. But people also tell me that I’m super sexy so it balances itself out.”

Shaking your head smiling at her you said “If you say so.”

“I do and I also say that you should go take to Mr Tall-Dark-and-Brooding and ask him for his number.” She said nodding over to the man in question.

When you glanced over you swore you saw him smirking and trying to hide it behind his coffee.

Fuck me sideways, you thought, he’s so hot! How is that legal!

Rolling your eyes you said the one phrase you knew would annoy Sandy enough to distract her “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.”

“Oh, shut up!” she said throwing a damp cloth at you. Sending you both into giggles.

“But seriously we should both try and look busy, Jodie’s going to be in in the next ten minutes.”

“Oh, no, not Jodie!” Sandy whined “I thought she was only working at the weekend this week.”

“She swapped with Hannah.”

“Noooo!” she whined pouting “That’s it my day’s ruined now. Scratch that, my whole week’s been ruined.”

“I’m not happy about it either but-" you stopped. Noticing movement out of the corner of your eye. Turning you were half way through saying “Hi, what can I get you?” before you realised it was the man that you’d been talking about only a moment ago. The smile on your face turning genuine as you felt your cheeks heat.

“Hi.” He said, his voice a deep rumble. Is it normal to get turned on just from someone’s voice?

“Did you want a refill?” you asked, still smiling.

Shaking his head he placed his cup down on the counter. “I just wanted to bring this back and, ugh,” he placed a piece of paper down next to it “give you this. I’m Logan by the way.” He said smiling and winking at you as he turned and walked away.

Leaving you standing there dumbstruck.

Sandy picked up the piece of paper that Logan had put down and squealed. “Oh my god! It’s his phone number! I told you. I fucking told you!”

Snatching the scrap of paper out of her hand you looked down at the numbers he’d scrawled with his name ‘Logan Howlett.’ underneath. Patting your pockets you said “Shit! Where’s my phone? I should text him. Oh my god, what do I next text him. Wait will it seem too desperate if I text him straightaway?”

“No.” Sandy tilted her head in contemplation, “Well, maybe. But if he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have given you his name now, would he?”

“But what if he doesn’t actually like me. What if he just felt he should because he overheard you earlier?”

“Y/n,” Sandy said placing her hands on your shoulders “Hot men don’t just go around handing their number and name out to any random person they come across. Stranger danger and all that. He’s obviously interested and decided to take a chance. Something that you need to do too. Now. Text the hot, sexy old man.”

Taking in a deep breath you nodded. “Okay, okay, yeah.” Pulling out your phone from your apron pocket you tapped Logan’s number into your phone and typed out a text. Trying not to over think it you pressed send.

Y/N: Hey Logan, this is sarah, you gave me your number in the café just now. I was wondering if you want to grab a drink sometime?

Three grey dots appeared. Vanished and quickly appeared again. You chewed on your fingernail as you watched the grey dots on the screen. No less than a minute later a message came through from Logan.

Logan: I’d love too. Are you free tonight?

You glanced up at Sandy “He wants to go out tonight.”

“Well, say yes! Get that DILF dick baby.”

“Sandy!”

“What are you two talking about?” Jodie’s nasally voiced asked as she joined you behind the counter, tying her apron around her waist “It doesn’t very work appropriate.”

“You’re not work appropriate.” Sandy muttered under her breath glaring at the woman.

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing Jodie.” Sandy said moving from where she’d been standing next to you. “Can you go clear some tables for us?” she said handing her a tray.

Tuning the two of them out you turned your attention back to your phone.

Taking a deep breath, biting nervously at your thumb, you replied:

SARAH: I’m free tonight How about we meet at Malones at 6?

Logan: I’ll see you there beautiful 😉

You couldn’t wait.

[slashers-and-rats]

The slashers with a scantily clad s/o? Not to provoke, he's just hot and that's why he's shirtless (or pants) and with short pants (or short shirt) and he goes out like that without caring much since they're only with them ( I prefer Jason and Billy Lenz but he puts Whoever you want)

Gracias y que la pases bonito 😊

a/n: this sounded so cute to me. half of these are a little sexy tho, because. i mean billy’s here, you know how it goes

Slashers with a scantily clad masc!s/o during summer! [softcore!nsfw]

featured slashers: billy lenz, jason vorhees, thomas hewitt, & brahms heelshire

billy lenz :

you were playing a dangerous game. billy was a repressed, easily aroused, constantly horny rat, and here you were, walking around like a slutty piece of cheese.

you didn’t do it on purpose, though. you had never been with someone so easily riled up. plus, it was so fucking hot. of course you’re gonna be wearing nothing but some tight boyshorts. you were sweating like a piggy, splaying yourself out on any cool surface you could find, dying of heat. you didn’t have time to think about how delectable you looked to your boyfriend.

billy would wear his sweater and jeans in the middle of a desert. he didn’t care about heat at all. so in comparison to him, you were naked. and he liked it. he liked that he had a free pass to stare at your body all the time. your chest, your tummy, your thighs, your cute butt, your bulge… it made his mouth water. every time you walked by him, complaining about the heat, he wanted to jump your bones.

he did. frequently. during summer, at least three times a day he was on top of you, lusting over every part of your body. his favourite was when you were laying in front of the fan, and he was rutting against your thigh like a bitch in heat. you were so warm you didn’t even pay attention to him. it stung in an arousing way.

you also always heard his cat calling. from the second you’d step out of a cold shower and start going about your day in your shorts and nothing else, you’d hear him. “slutty piggy. trying to tease, billy, trying to make him act up… such a handsome piggy, so handsome, wanna fuck him… wanna fuck him into the floor… i’ll cool you off - cool you off with my cum! cum all over your face.”

needless to say, he enjoyed summertime more with you around.

jason vorhees :

YOU’RE EMBARRASSING THE BOY

to be fair, jason was the same way during summer. usually he was just wearing some baggy shorts and nothing else. it was too hot even for him. but for some reason, it was different when you did it.

when you walked out of the house and into the sun, going to go check on him in the garden, and he saw your glistening body wearing one of his t-shirts and seemingly nothing else - oh, he couldn’t even look at you.

it confused you at first. he was dramatic with the way he’d avoid eye contact. you’d be talking to him, asking about the flowers he had been planting, and he’d be looking everywhere but at you. you’d get closer, pressing your frame up against his large body, and he’d be practically trembling. he couldn’t help it. he was a sheltered guy, you were his first boyfriend, and you were so perfect.

that being said, as much as he was embarrassed, he was also concerned. it was so hot. he’d fill up a kiddy pool outside with cold water and make you sit in it, despite it making his heart beat ten times too fast. when you laid back in the pool, in just some loose swim trunks, he couldn’t keep his eyes away. it was so hard to pull them off of you.

he liked those days most. the way the water shone off of your body, and the way you relaxed into the coolness of it, it made him happy and a little horny. happy to be able to help you find some relief in this overbearing heat, horny because he wanted to remove that last bit of clothing you wore and go to town on you. sometimes he’d come find you, and press his face into your wet chest, and use it to cool off before getting back to work. it was the only affection he could handle while you were looking so sweet.

thomas hewitt :

he honestly didn’t think much of it. shit was hot as all sin. he got down and naked with you, are you kidding? texas was hell during the summer, and he wasn’t about to suffer just because he felt nervous being around you while half-naked.

you were much newer to all this heat, though. often times you couldn’t stand to be in anything but some tight shorts. you’d be sweating and complaining, cursing at the sun gods. he’d be wearing some loose sweats and a tight tank top, that was practically drenched in sweat from him doing all the house chores for the family.

it was you who was embarrassed. the way his muscles sheened with sweat, the way his hair matted to his forehead, the way he panted hot under the mask, the way he looked at you whenever he had a chance to - it made you so flustered.

he’d come and find you on breaks. he’d check in on you, feeling up your forehead and making you chug as much water as he could. you’d do the same, but he already knew all the tricks to keep cool. you didn’t. he’d hug his body close to yours, almost like he was trying to use his large frame to give you shade. it was so sweet.

at the end of the day, when the cold of the desert began to set in, he’d make you sit with him out on the porch. he’d have you right on his lap, his head resting on the top of yours, and he’d be stroking over your bare arms and thighs. he was like a big teddy bear when he wanted to be. you guys would share an ice tea out there, and you’d tell him about all the bugs you saw that day. he’d just listen and revel in the cool night air, and how good you felt against him.

if it was any other day, he’d be red in the face and barely able to contain himself, but it was too hot to over-sexualize you. he was just happy you weren’t dying of heat stroke.

brahms heelshire :

hands everywhere. he is a grabby bitch. he has not seen a body, especially a man’s body, in a very long time. most of the nanny’s he got were women, and then you were there, with your masculine frame and your nice chest and your cute smile and…

he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. this is a man that will wear his sweater until the day he dies, he refuses to take the mask off, and he just hasn’t had a lot of experience with the naked body. so, you strolling through the house in nothing but your underwear - it made him very excited.

he’d find you wherever you were, and watch you for a bit. you’d see him out of the corner of your eye while you made lemonade, or you’d notice his figure in a window while you sat outside watering the plants. for a long time, all he’d do is stare, and take in every curve and detail.

that wasn’t enough, though. at some point, observing from a distance became a more physical study.

you often found yourself in the living room, as it was one of the colder rooms of the house. while you laid across the couch, listening to a random record, he’d be right there, laying on top of you. usually, he’d have his head down against your chest, listening to your heart beat. it was different when the clothes weren’t there, he could really feel your skin bobbing up and down. along with that, his fingers would be trailing over any inch of skin he could get. he was memorizing it all.

if his mask was off, you could see how focused he was. he needed to be. he needed to gather all this information for later, when he laid in bed and fantasized about that bare body against his in other ways. he was too embarrassed to think of those things while you were present. but the second you were gone… he was day dreaming about all the ways he could feel your skin on his, and what it would taste like if he ran his tongue over it. he couldn’t help it.

[janamelie]

New Red Dwarf Challenge

Day 18: Five Favourite DAVE Era Episodes

Give And Take

Come on, as though I'm not going to include this hilarious double entendre from Rimmer. :D

This episode was very obviously written to recall Series V and since I adore that series, I appreciate it.  Scary Asclepius, adorable Snacky, time travel shenanigans and a twist which puts the opening scene in a whole new light.  Love it.

Trojan

There was a lot riding on this episode as the Series X opener, given it was the first regular-length episode for 13 years and needed to consolidate the Dave era after the ratings success of “Back To Earth”.  “BTE”’s format-breaking had worked as a one-off but both fans and those involved with the show wanted a return to half-hour eps in front of a live audience.  (Which I was in.  Amazing.)

Which was exactly what they got and it works so well, reintroducing us to these characters and showing us how bonded they’ve become as the crew agree to a silly charade to help Rimmer fool his visiting brother.

Ah, Howard.  Props to Mark Dexter for giving such a good guest performance that I really wish he could return for an encore.  Everything about him makes sense as Rimmer’s older brother and it’s just so much fun to finally properly meet one of Rimmer’s awful family and have them interact with our crew.

All this plus the moose joke and our Boyz in snug Star Trek style jumpsuits.

Twentica

In which our Dave era DILFs are transported to an alternate America where they get to cosplay and are bamboozled by sexy female scientists.  If that summary doesn’t appeal, I think you’re watching the wrong show.  It’s just a lot of fun.

Skipper

And if Kryten wasn't there...

Did I mention I love AU episodes?  Love the return to pre-accident versions of Red Dwarf, Posh Lister, Rat, Captain Lister etc, etc.

Plus the first half of the episode where the Boyz encounter weird timey-wimey smeg and Lister can’t resist messing with Cat is also great.  Fantastic stuff.

The Promised Land

And of course "TPL" is in a class of its own, far and away the most successful venture past the 30 minute mark for this show.

It gives us sympathetic characters in the fugitive Cats, a good villain in Rodon, drama with factory settings Holly and of course the wonderful Moonlight scene.

(All gifs made by myself using this site. https://smegadrive.ganymede.tv/)

[dragongodryss]

Based on this tweet

Sting was in trouble. He had thought it was funny when his friends, who had never met his cat, assumed Lector was his boyfriend. Now that he had been invited to Natsu's wedding, on the other side of the country, he felt otherwise.

He had, at first, considered coming clean, but that would be embarrassing. He couldn't decline the invitation either, since he hadn't seen Natsu in nearly two years. In short, he was fucked. Or rather, he wasn't. If he was, he might have someone he could try to convince to go with him.

He had been putting it off for a month, and now he only had a week left to find both a fake boyfriend who was willing to answer to the name Lector, and a cat sitter.

There was no putting it off any longer, so he called his friend, Yukino, to ask for advice. Maybe he could convince her to watch Lector for him.

"Hello Sting! I was just going to call you. You're coming to Lucy's wedding too, right?" Yukino said cheerfully. Damn it. He forgot that she was friends with Natsu's fiancée.

"Yeah, about that... You know Lector, my cat? Natsu assumed I was talking about a boyfriend, and he kinda wants to meet him at the wedding, to make sure he's not a jerk or whatever. So I need a cat sitter and someone who's willing to take a train ride across the country with a complete stranger and can be trained to answer to 'Lector' in a week." Sting decided to rip off the band-aid. Yukino wouldn't rat him out.

"Oh my god, that's hilarious! I'm writing a song about it. Natsu and Lucy can play it at the reception." Yukino's himbo boyfriend, Orga, mocked him. Sting had forgotten that Yukino usually had her phone on speaker, for some reason. Orga would absolutely rat him out, and as he would be attending as Yukino's +1, there would be no stopping him.

"No you won't, Orga. No. We'll negotiate later, I'm helping Sting avoid the consequences of his actions right now." She was his best friend for a reason, and that reason was that she was the best. "Now: Why exactly did you think any of this was a good idea?"

"Well, it was funny at first, and then I'd kept up the lie for three months and I realized I was in too deep." Sting admitted. Yukino sighed.

"And at no point in the three months after that did you think to ask for help?" Yukino chided him.

"Nope."

"Of course not. Do you have 20 thousand jewel?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"Alright. You'll be at the party for a day, plus two days for traveling. All expenses at the hotel will be paid, and I assume you're willing to pay for both of your train tickets?" Yukino asked.

"Yeah, sounds right." Sting confirmed.

"Okay. Sorano could use some more money, so she'd probably watch your cats and-"

"Wait, cats?"

"Yeah. One of my coworkers owes me a favor, and he needs a break from work anyway, so I could probably convince him if I told him I found a place for his cat to stay." His amazing friend told him.

"You're the best!"

*

Who would have known having Yukino cover his shift so he could take Frosch to the vet would have such devastating consquences?

Rogue wondered how his life had reached this point. He was sitting opposite someone he'd met only once, inside a train headed to the other side of the country, to a wedding for people he had never heard of.

Not an ideal situation, but aside from Frosch, Yukino was his only friend and she had made arrangements for Frosch, so he had agreed. It was a free vacation, anyway. Not to mention the guy was good looking.

"So, Lector, what do you do for a living?" His fake boyfriend, Sting, asked him. Rogue really could have done without the fake name, especially in private, but he wouldn't be able to answer to it without practice.

"The same as Yukino. We're both nurses." Rogue answered. It took him a moment to realize that he ought to ask Sting the same. "You?"

"I'm a graphic designer. Okay, more things we really need to know: Ages, have we ever been arrested, how did we meet? I'll start: I'm twenty six and I've been arrested twice." Sting told him.

"What for?"

"I'll tell you when you answer."

"Fine, I'm twenty six, and I haven't been arrested yet. Now should I regret agreeing to this?" Rogue asked.

"Trespassing and accessory to second degree arson. I promise it's not as bad as it sounds. It's been like, ten years. And the second one was Natsu's fault." Sting defended himself.

"The groom?"

"Yeah, that's the guy. He wants to meet you to make sure you're not a jerk." Sting explained.

"What have you told him about Lector?" Rogue steered the conversation back on track.

"Oh, usual cat things: He steals my food, he wants cuddles, he charges around the house at 3am, he's adorable, I keep losing staring contests to him, he bites me." Sting seemed to realize how badly awry things had gone before they had even reached the venue. "Well that's going to be awkward."

"You don't say."

*

"We should practice the whole couple thing." Sting suggested a few hours later over lunch. Rogue looked up from his sandwich, over to Sting and reached out, grabbing some of his fake boyfriend's M&Ms before focusing on his sandwich again.

"Well that's a start, but I was thinking more along the lines of PDA and establishing boundaries." Sting clarified. Honestly, staring at Sting wouldn't be too hard, and as demonstrated, stealing his food was entirely within the realms of Rogue's capabilities. The rest, however... Rogue nodded.

"Ideally, we'd hug a bunch and maybe kiss a couple of times to really sell it, but we can say you're shy around strangers if you really don't want to." Sting explained.

"No, that seems fine." Rogue accepted.

"Okay, now we need to practice." Sting said. Rogue froze for a moment. Once he realized what Sting meant, he nodded. He knew damn well he'd slip up in front of everyone if he didn't practice.

Sting leaned over the table and pecked him on the lips. It felt fine, almost like it was something he normally did, at first, but then he felt his face heat up suddenly. Sting pulled away.

"Sorry, I panicked." Rogue apologized swiftly.

"No, it's fine, I barely noticed. It went better than I expected." Sting reassured him. "They'll never notice."

*

It was mid afternoon when they arrived at their station in the middle of nowhere, and only a short walk to the hotel from there. Rogue offered to carry some of Stings luggage, as he had brought fewer things. Sting's face flushed when Rogue's hand touched his. He'd have to get that under control. Did he regret packing half his wardrobe, or was it a blessing? Who knew? Sting certainly didn't.

"It's a nice venue." Rogue noted, looking around as they cleared the gates. There were tons of different flowers in lots of colors, and what Sting was pretty sure was a hedge maze. Hopefully, Natsu would know better than to start a fire at his own wedding. The hotel was an old castle, with large glass windows. Another easily breakable thing. Either Natsu had really changed in the last two years, or Lucy wasn't as much of a genius as her loving fiancée insisted. It was nice nonetheless.

"It's really big." Sting realized, as he spoke, how many people would be present to witness it if things went wrong.

"Don't get lost." Rogue joked.

"Sting! There you are!" Natsu came running out the door towards them, high-fiving Sting when he reached them. "I thought you were going to bail on me."

"Never. I wouldn't miss this for the world." Sting promised.

"I'd kick your ass if you did. Speaking of which, is this the Lector you were talking about?" Natsu asked, turning to Rogue. Sting grinned awkwardly.

"Yeah, that's my boyfriend. R-Lector, this is my childhood friend Natsu, he's the groom. Natsu, this is my boyfriend Lector." Sweating, Sting made the introductions.

"Nice meeting ya! How'd you meet?" Natsu asked Rogue. Stings eyes widened. Fuck. They hadn't prepared this.

"Frosch, my cat, learned how to open doors, and I forgot to lock the front door. Sting helped me look for her for hours, so I invited him out for coffee once we found her." Rogue answered excitedly. "Do you want to see a picture of her? I have pictures of her."

"Sure. Let's see her." Natsu agreed. Rogue's face lit up as he pulled out his phone.

"She's sweet, yeah." Natsu admitted. "Do you want to see Happy? He's our ring-bearer."

*

The first hurdle had been overcome minimal difficultly, so Sting was in high spirits when they reached the hotel room.

He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but he was somehow surprised to find that there was only one bed, albeit a large one.

"I can take the couch if you want." He offered when Rogue entered.

"No, I think it's fine. The bed's pretty big." Rogue said casually. Well if he didn't mind, Sting sure as hell didn't. He dropped his stuff on the floor and flopped onto the bed. Rogue put his own stuff down more carefully before sitting down beside him.

"Didn't think it would go so well. I'm not sure what I was worried about." Sting admitted, letting out a sigh he hadn't known he was holding in.

"Don't jinx it. Honey." Rogue deadpanned, before letting his face break into a smile. It took Sting a moment to realize he was staring.

*

Despite his warning, Rogue was feeling pretty confident when he and Sting went downstairs for the rehearsal dinner. Gray, the best man, had let them know there was no need to dress up, so Rogue was wearing a red turtleneck sweater and black jeans. Sting, who seemed hellbent on making Natsu regret allowing the policy to be so vague, was wearing leather trousers and a rainbow crop-top.

"Aren't you worried you'll outshine the groom?" Rogue asked him.

"If Natsu was worried about that, he wouldn't have invited me." Sting boasted. Rogue decided to take his word for it.

They entered the dining hall when it almost full, Sting having insisted on being fashionably late. Perhaps that was a blessing, because that was the only reason Rogue had noticed Gajeel, his older cousin, before Gajeel noticed him.

"Sting, don't panic, but my cousin is here and he knows damn well my name isn't Lector." Rogue whispered hurriedly.

"Okay, okay. Don't panic. Maybe he won't notice you. We're not in the wedding party anyway, so show me who it is and we'll avoid them." Sting whispered back.

They took their assigned places, on the same side of the room as Gajeel, though a little further away from the main table, as Gajeel's wife, Levy, was sitting beside the bride. Oh. Yeah. Levy had mentioned at New Years that she would be maid of honor in her best friend's wedding. If Rogue had known it was this wedding, he would have refused Yukino's request. Speaking of Yukino, his coworker was making her way to their table with her boyfriend.

"So how is it going? Anyone suspect anything?" She asked.

"Shhh!" Sting looked around quickly.

"Don't worry. I asked Lucy to make sure we were the only ones at this table." She reassured him, though it didn't seem to work-

"She's going to know somethings up!" Sting insisted.

"Serves you right. Now how are things going with Lector." Yukino's boyfriend asked, winking at Rogue.

"Terribly, considering his cousin is married to the maid of honor." Sting hissed.

Rogue checked out of the conversation, watching Gajeel like a hawk. When desert rolled around, his cousin finally noticed him. Rogue shook his head faintly. Not now.

To his relief, Gajeel took the hint and dinner went off without a hitch.

Rogue waited just outside the door to the dining hall for him, to save him the trouble of looking and minimizing the risk of being exposed.

"Hey Rogue! Why didn't you say you were coming here? We could've driven you." Gajeel asked him when he came out, Levy in tow.

"It's complicated. Can we talk about this somewhere else?" Rogue looked around in a panic, worried Gajeel's loud voice would carry through the hallways.

In the garden, Gajeel resumed his line of questioning.

"So what's up, kid? Do I need to kick someone's ass?"

"No! Nothing like that. A friend of mine messed up and told his friend he had a boyfriend, so I'm helping him out. I didn't know this was your friend's wedding. Can you just call me Lector until this is over?" Rogue asked.

"Oh. You're the cat boy!" Levy exclaimed. Gajeel looked like he was about to explode with laughter.

"I'm sorry, what?" Rogue asked.

"Oh, Natsu wanted help figuring out what the deal with his friend's boyfriend was, so he asked us about it. We started calling you cat boy because it seemed like his friend was describing a cat." Levy explained.

"I wonder why."

*

The ceremony passed by quite normally, with only one accidental fire, which wasn't Natsu's fault.

Sting felt gorgeous in his light gray tuxedo and sky blue shirt, which was secretly a button-down crop-top, but he was having trouble keeping his eyes off his date, who looked dashing in a black suit and red shirt. Despite his prior warning to Sting not to outshine the groom, Rogue had decided to put his hair in a ponytail, which Sting forgave because he looked hot.

The reception promised to be a party to remember, being in the castle grounds, with every kind of food imaginable and ample space to dance.

Sting cheered when Natsu and Lucy finished their first dance, which prompted several others to cheer alongside him.

The music continued, and Sting offered his hand to Rogue. Rogue took it, smiling softly.

"Just so you know, honey, I can't dance for shit." Rogue warned him.

"Like we need to be good at it. It's pretty much just spinning anyway." Sting told him, taking the lead.

They might not have been the best dancers, but no one could beat them at spinning, Sting was sure of that. No one could match them with how majestic they were. He didn't know how many songs had passed when they stopped for a drink, just that they were out of breath.

As he unbuttoned the jacket to reveal his secret crop-top, Rogue leaned against him casually, and Sting realized that by this time tomorrow, it would be over, and the knowledge crashed over him like a tidal wave.

"Oh, I love this song! Do you want to go dance again?" Rogue exclaimed. Sting knew the song. It was 'All or Nothing' by Theory of a Deadman.

He took Rogue's hand again as they started to spin, looking into Rogue's eyes. He didn't want to let go. As the song ended, Sting made his choice.

"Hey, Rogue? I don't know if you're even into guys, but I enjoyed hanging out with you, and I wanted to know if you wanted to try going out for real sometime." He confessed. Rogue smiled that beautiful smile again.

"That depends entirely on if or not I'll have to go by Lector every time we visit your friends." He answered teasingly.

"No- nah, you don't. I'll come clean. I'll text Natsu on our way home." Sting promised.

"Then I'd love to." Rogue said.

"Alright, then would you like to go out for coffee on Wednesday? There's a coffee shop near the hospital that sells really good cinnamon rolls." Sting suggested.

"That sounds wonderful."

*

On the train ride home, Sting tried to work up the nerve to call Natsu, who would be leaving on his honeymoon tomorrow.

"Do it. Do it. You've got this." Rogue chanted in the seat beside him, in the most monotone voice he could muster.

Emboldened, Sting instead opted for text to the group chat, with basically everyone he knew from his hometown.

Lucy, Natsu, Levy, Gray, Wendy, Cana, Mira, Elfman, Lisanna, Laxus, Lyon and several others.

Sting: Hey guys. I just wanted to come clean. The Lector I kept telling you about was my cat. The guy I brought is actually called Rogue.

Cana: Hah! I knew you couldn't get a boyfriend.

Natsu: Yeah, Yukino told us as soon as you told her.

Sting looked at Rogue in horror. Rogue looked stunned for a moment, but started chuckling. He took Sting's phone.

"Sting": Levy, did you know?

Levy: Yeah. We just wanted to see how far Sting would go.

Sting took his phone back from Rogue.

Sting: You guys are the worst.

Sting: And joke's on you, Cana, I asked Rogue out and he said yes.

"Levy": You get Rogue on the phone right now. We need to talk.

Levy: Sorry, Gajeel took my phone.

Sting put his phone away.

"Should I be worried?" He asked Rogue.

"I'd say no, but that would be a lie." Rogue answered. "If worst comes to worst, we can blame Yukino."

[pendragonloki]

Why did JK rowling use owls anyway?

I get why they're meant to be familiars and historical they are associated with witchcraft and magic yes that makes sense congrats rowling you read a book about witches and yes all the other animal opinions are also familiar animals

Yes rowling very clever you get to choose one of the historical familiars of witchcraft very cool but heres the thing...

...They're not familiars?...

Like at all like within the context if the books and movies what do they do that's similar to witchcraft familiars?

Ok so the owls are the only one with a purpose that is society wide yes they are messenger, the famously nocturnal and slow birds yes lets use them. And the only other pet that has a use is

The chipr frogs? Is this the equivalent of parents buying their kids art supplies?

But like this is a serious wasted pontenial for the pets to actually be familiars and be apart of magic and spellcraft but they're not in the slightest we see them be used once

We only see them involved in magic once where ron turned his rat into a cup

(Which is really weird what scenario would you need this? And also we dont talk enough about how this is actually a person? Like this spell works on people?)

But yeah whenever i bring up that rowling should have used literally any other bird for messengers someone brings up the familiars arguement but this doesn't hold any water to me. Like they just aren't maybe if rowling tied the wand cores to the familiars like owl feather cores, or rat tooth, frog wart and cats hair ball or something would have been cool or if the pets somehow helped the wizards control their magic. But otherwise it doesnt add up

Rowling really should've used crows and or ravens they both have magic association, and if she was a good author would have also connected them to the deathly hallows with death playing a major role in the story.

They are also infinity more trainable than owls who i remember the story from the production of the first movie them being horribly untrainable like each owl could only learn 1 trick each. Crows are highly intelligent and recognise human faces imagine your post man couldn't recognise your face

And then theres the hidden aspect of it. You're telling me the muggles arent recognising the random snow or barn owl flying near their house semi consistently? Atleast with crows/ravens would blend in with cities and then pigeons would make even more sense.

Pigeons are super caring, they dont bite, they have historically been messengers and they're ancient, theyre the first and only birds domesticated and rowling saw their rich history and said "nah"

Owls are silent flyers so makes sense for a secret society but you know what doesn't blend in? A giant owl, people dont even think when they see pigeons or corvids. Plus if she chose pigeons she could have written that they're navigation is magic and muggles dont understand it.

If you have to use animals as messengers

(They dont need animals they have flying paper aeroplanes and can make flying notes)

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, rowling missed out on much better animals

[koolades-world]

happy halloween!

hope everyone is having a great evening!! because of the upcoming festivities tonight, I decided to post this just a little earlier :) what's everyone else being this year? as i write this (october 27th) i am undecided between reusing an old alice from alice in wonderland costume, or diying a loofa costume using a dress i already have. will probably just go as alice haha. haven't worn it since i was 16 which is when it was made, but it should probably still fit!

it's up to you who you'll be matching costumes with so i made sure i left room in each character for that!

(psttttt boops welcome! if you boop me i will get you back. this is a threat)

Halloween with the om cast

Lucifer

the dadesque figure that walks around with everyone while they trick or treat

only there because mammon and diavolo begged

also only dressed up because the aforementioned two convinced him (he's wearing that stupid swimsuit of his and is calling it whatever mammon feels like introducing it as in that moment)

Mammon

100% goes as a pirate and his not so little trick or treat bag looks like a grim bag

is the dastardly, hated demon that takes the entire bowl when left with a note that says take one please

you help him curb this habit by threatening to withhold affections haha

Levi

he goes as ruri, of course. he already had it ready since he'd worn the cosplay in the past

he's insistent on being in character all night too! he loves halloween because is the one night a year where he can go out in public in cosplay and be normal

candy is a plus, but not a must. is more than willing to share with you

Satan

you once told him he'd make a cute librarian, so that's what he's dressed as this year

perhaps he's using this as an excuse to sit around all night and read

either way, he's having fun, but he could be convinced to go out with you with the promises of cuddles

Asmo

every year, he goes as a sexy something and you can't convince me otherwise. he's a sexy whatever you think is sexy this year haha

i feel like he'd usually be at a party, but since you wanted to go trick or treating, he'll go with you instead

you may have to cover the eyes of some young ones if parts of his costume start to give out as the night goes on...

Beel

he wears basically the same costume every year: a cheeseburger

now, i say 'basically' because he always ends up taking several large bites and needs to buy a new one, and they're always slightly different

the candy he collects is always gone by the time he gets back home

Belphie

he's the one that goes as himself almost every halloween

either he gets dragged along with wherever beel ends up going, or he stays back to help pass out candy

by that, i mean he naps near the candy bowl and accidently freaks out kids coming to get candy that don't see him

Diavolo

probably in a cheesy vampire costume and loving it

plastic teeth that are impossible to talk with in and all

he wanted to most authentic experience as possible, so he asked you for your experiences!

Barbatos

he's the one that hangs back at the HoL to hand out candy, since the little d's have the palace covered

however, he isn't lame enough not to be dressed up

i can't decide if he's the kind to slap on a cat ears headband and call it a day, or go all out and handmake a costume. you can pick :)

Simeon

linguini from ratatouille. i will be taking no questions at this time.

he made it himself! he also made luke and solomon's costumes

the other dadesque figure that takes his kids trick or treating, but is much happier about it then lucifer is

Luke

for some reason, he wanted to be a piece of cheese, so simeon and solomon decided to work with him so he looked less out of place

if he ends up going off with beel to trick or treat, they look like they intended to match too!

just, maybe go with the two of them to stop beel from taking a chomp out of luke's costume...

Solomon

holy shit he's in a rat costume (remy) to piss off barbatos, and when he gets grilled about it, he can just pass it off as matching with luke and simeon

and of course, barb doesn't want to ruin halloween for his son. solomon is going to have his ass handed to him tomorrow

Mephisto

thinks dressing up is stupid until his little brother begs him to dress up too

so, to make him happy, he goes as the prince to his brother's mini fire breathing salamander. not as a dragon slaying prince, a dragon friend prince (his brother's words)

to his surprise, he actually enjoys celebrating the holiday, especially with you and his brother

Thirteen

thought it would be funny to go dressed as what humans think the grim reaper is

plus, you bet she wouldn't so now she has to! it's actually quite cute on her

she doesn't hand out treats, she hands out tricks. including people who haven't asked trick or treat

Raphael 

dressed as a hedgehog (if you get it, you get it)

half the people he meets asks what he's supposed to be, while the other half gets it instantly and chuckle about it

hey, at least he's trying and having fun!

[delulu-is-da-solulu]

𝓓𝓮𝓼𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓽.:｡+•

Pt. 2

2k12 Donnie! X fem!reader

Pt. 1

AN- In this chapter I was kinda just trying to establish your relationship with the turtles and April. So if you don’t like it I really am sorry. But hopefully part 3 will be better. Enjoy! <3

Word count - 1046

Well the whole mutant thing went down last month, and you’re still trying to process what happened. I mean to go on a walk and almost freeze to death, just to be saved by a girl you couldn’t even call a good acquaintance and her mutant friends! Turns out the whole rat thing happened because they made a crazy scientist guy mad, or they did something to piss him off… and their dad is a rat, he’s cool.

Because you don’t go to school you’re in the lair with the guys a lot, and you’ve gotten to know them better.

Leo is such a dork, not in a smart way like Donnie but in a funny way. He tries sooo hard to be a good leaders so he copies the ones in cartoons, like spock from startrek, and robin from teen titans. And the reason this is so dorky is because you can tell that’s what he’s doing, and when his training exercises don’t go according to the plan, (aka if it doesn’t make him look super cool) he get a little pissy. Nothing that a pizza can’t fix, ya’ know if Mickey doesn’t Finnish the whole thing within a millisecond of it being in the lair.

Raph isn’t as angry as everybody says, he anger issues aren’t even that bad. Sure he’s aggressive, but that’s mainly during fights or whenever Mickey is a ten foot radius of him. For the most part he’s pretty chill, & keeps to himself plus spike.

Everyone made sure to fill you in on the Donnie and April situation, and the weird way he was acting when the two of you first met, instantly make sense. After you informed him that you and April weren’t close, and telling her how great of a guy he was wasn’t gonna help much he was devastated. But other than his obsession with April, he’s a cool guy. most times when you’re in the lair, you and Donnie are hanging out in the lab. He helps you with your math and science homework, and you help around the lab in whatever ways possible. Working with Donnie is fun, and he trust you enough to let me in on his schemes to try and win over April. They’re incredibly weird and you doubt any of them will work, but! they’re interesting.

There’s never a dull moment with Donatello. he’s funny- if you get the joke, and the more time you spend with him, the harder it is to not get it. And the. There are days when nothing happens, the two of you just hang out in the lab while Don works on blueprints while you’re reading.

And Mickey is kinda gross, but honestly the sweetest thing you’ve ever met. He get bullied by his brothers a lot, but he’s so nice, the boys are soo mean. Sometimes me and Mickey watch romcoms, or action movies together.

Me and April were never friends but she’s actually fun to be around, you, April, and Irma, go out override all the time. Shopping, movies, or just hanging out, it’s so fun being with those two.

And master Splinter doesn’t talk much, but for as much as you know he’s just a dad making his Sons friends feel welcome in their home. And he taught you how to play shogi, you’ve gotten really good.

Ginger: “Irma had to go home, sowing with her cat. Wanna go to the lair instead?”

Damn this was disappointing, April and Irma were gassing this movie up sooo much. You made sure not to watch trailers or anything just so you’d be completely blind. But it’s just a movie.

Snow globe: “It’s fine. I’m omw to the hole rn, meet you there <3”

You went back upstairs to put on your old combat boots, then you started making your way to the lair. You love the boys and splinter, they’re great. But doing down into piss, and shit, with your knee high converse, that were around $100 wasn’t gonna happen.

You met up with April, and the two of you talked about whatever while walking to the lair. School, family, clothes, things weren’t weird until she brought up boys.

“So did you have a boyfriend, or a crush before shit hit the fan?”

“U-h well…” romance wasn’t exactly a topic you were comfortable in. I mean you’ve had crushes but none of them turned out good, and some didn’t even turn. “No, I have a problem with masking friends with people I have crushes on. And when I do confess if I do, we’re usually too close of friends for them to reciprocate.” You let out a chuckle trying to make it look as if you don’t care much. “What about you?”

“Uhh… well you know the whole thing with Donnie. And ive gone on a couple dates in my time, but they never ended up anything. So I guess we’re in the same boat.”

“Yeah. I feel bad for you honestly. Donnie’s soo nice, and I love hanging out with him, but you’ll never see that side of him. But at least you have Raph, Leo, and Mickey.”

You look over at April and she’s giving you a somber look. oh fuck, was she offended by what you said about Donnie!? “I’m not saying that you and Donnie will never actually be friends, I’m just saying he’s always tense around you not trying to embarrass himself so he-“

“No, no I get it (Y/N), I’ve accepted it, for now. But he’s obviously gonna grow out of it, and it’ll be like it never happened. I give it the rest of the year.”

“Hah! Don’t you think you’re giving him a little too much grace? Donnie’s like a puppy waiting at the door for his owner to come back when he’s with you.”

The two of you start laughing as you approach the opening of the lair. “As if Donnie’s way too busy to be-“

“April!” Before she’s even two steps into the lair Donnie grabs her and holds her in his arms.

“Hi Donnie.” She pats his shoulders obviously uncomfortable. You walk ahead, and you sit on the couch next to Mickey while he plays with ice cream kitty.

“Angela, sir ice cream kitty, how do you do?” You say in a forced posh accent and Mickey follows suit.

“Splendid, the hydrangeas are in full bloom, and they’re a sight to see if I do say so myself.” Ice cream kitty meows after him. A new show started running that takes place in the regency era,about bridges or something. You and Mickey started watching and, it’s quickly becoming one of your favorites.

As you and Mickey are talking, you see April walk over to the old arcade games where Raph and Leo are playing, and you get snatched by Donnie.

“(Y/N)! I need you now!” He whisks you off to his lab, and shuts the door behind him.

“Donnie! Why do you find it necessary to just pick people up!” you snatch his hands off your body, and he apologizes and leads you over to his clipboard.

“Okay hear me out.”

“Donnie I don’t need another 80 step plan on how to get April to text you.”

“It isn’t that. What if I ask her out?”

“No donnie that’s never gon- ASK HER OUT! Donnie that’s line the most normal idea you’ve had. Like EVER, and I’ve only known you for a month.”

“I was thinking a picnic on top a rooftop. Those are always super cute in movies, they have to work irl. Imagine us on a red gingham blanket, with lavender scented candles, a mp3 playing cheesy old love songs, and a whole pizza just for the two of us. How romantic would that be!”

Donnie’s enthusiasm for this was honestly adorable, and if you doesn’t say something weird you think he might actually have a shot at making this work.

“I mean… it does sound nice. Give it a shot tomorrow night tell her you need her help with a secret mission or something?”

“That’s a good idea.” Donnie was basically bouncing off the walls, his cheeks turned red only at the thought of spending the night with April. You wanted to give him a reality check and say it’s probably not gonna work, but this his actually a good idea. Let’s just give it a shot.

It’s 8pm and the boys went out on patrol. The lair is calm and splinter made tea for you and April, while you’re talking April asks.

“Hey (Y/N) have you thought of training to be a kunoichi with me?”

You chuckled to yourself, “that’s funny” then you continued sipping tea. But when you put your cup down you saw the way April was looking at you and realized she was being serious. “Wait really?”

“Yeah! Don’t you wanna learn ninjutsu?”

“It’s better to learn alongside someone who can push you to do better. and sparing buddies are always fun.” he giggles in whatever way an old rat man can while stroking his beard.

“Uh-“ I mean learning ninjutsu would be fun, but you don’t wanna be another target for the krang or Foot clan. However both foot clan mutants, and krang bots have seen you with the turtles. “I… Sure?”

April jumps on you and wraps her arms around your shoulders, and you held her back. “This is soo exciting! Now you’re really apart of the family.”

There’s a possibility that this is gonna back fire but as long as you have April and the turtles what’s the worst that could happen?

Right after you tell April she can’t come over you grab your shell phone and call Donnie. “I just sent her off. Are you in position?”

“Yeah, I have everything ready. And it looks like something straight out of a fairytale! Do you wanna see?”

“Hell yeah, send me a picture.”

“Okay. I’ll do that right after I text April.”

“What are you telling her again?”

“I’m telling her I’m seeing suspicious activity from here. and I don’t trust my brothers, so I want her to come instead.”

“…” you stare at you phone with a sheer look of disappointment on your face. In what world would that work, “Donnie are you fucking serious?”

“Y- yeah what about it?” He sounds confused from over the phone, and you can’t blame him. I mean the guy has only ever been with his brothers and dad his whole life, he can’t help being stupid.

“Donnie there’s no way that’s gonna-“

“She just replied. SHES ON HER WAY!” You can hear his phone thud on the ground, yet the squeal he let out still pierces your ears.

“I- I gotta go, before April gets here. Wish me luck.” He hangs up the phone.

You’re wishing him luck, but you know this will probably end in vain. It doesn’t matter how cute the fairy lights are, if she doesn’t like you she doesn’t like you.

But hopefully he doesn’t take this one too hard.