#plus Stanley is a sick name

[stannstar]

So I have two exams tomorrow and this is what I've been doing with my time. Perhaps I am the problem

Ive actually been revising for the first time in my life because I've somehow skated by my entire life not studying and not paying attention in class.

So it's kinda weird like, actually doing what I'm supposed too?

[jo-speaks]

congratulations

in which...

fem! reader has her own way of congratulating quinn on all his accomplishments.

warnings: MDNI. 18+ readers only. use of sex toys (vibrating panties), slight exhibitionism, oral sex (m! receiving) while driving, mature language, brief mention of a captain kink.

~✩~

note: in honour of Quinn's one-year captain-iversary a few days ago! he's accomplished so much, and i love seeing how much he continues to develop as a player and a person.

You knew you wouldn’t be joining him for a regular team dinner once you saw that glint in his eyes. He was up to something, but you weren’t quite sure what.

“Babe! You ready?” Quinn called out to you, waiting for your presence in the living room of your shared apartment.

“Just give me another minute!” You replied, holding the top half of your lingerie set to your chest in the mirror. 

A few days ago, Quinn had told you about this dinner. The team had planned it to celebrate all the successes he’s had in the past year. Being named captain, leading the team to the Stanley Cup finals, winning the Norris, being on the cover of NHL 25, and so forth. 

Quinn had never been one to want to celebrate stuff like this for himself, but rather for the people who made it possible. However, he was never one to turn down free food. Originally, it was supposed to be just the team, but they were meant to be dining at one of your favourite restaurants in the city. Luckily for you, JT’s wife, Natalie shared the same love for the food here as you did. And with a few strings pulled, as JT was the one who originally planned the event, she not only managed to get you and herself a part of the occasion but a few of the other wives and girlfriends who were willing to join the celebration.

Naturally, when she told you the news, you figured it would be a great time to give Quinn a little congratulatory gift of your own. Before the event, you had ordered a Canucks blue set of lingerie, leaving very little to the imagination. It cupped your breasts in a way that was pleasing to the eye, and it did your ass the justice it deserves. The lining of the bra covered your nipples, but the rest of the material was sheer. And to add to the thrill, the bottoms of the set came with a remote. A remote that, with the click of a button, could send a silent vibrating sensation running through your body.

You didn’t want to show this number to your boyfriend quite yet, hence your decision to let him discover it later in the night. Throwing on a semi-formal dress that was appropriate for the dinner over it, Quinn was in for a surprise. You quickly strapped on a pair of heels that complemented your outfit, grabbing your purse and phone, and opening the door of your bedroom. 

The reaction on Quinn’s face was one you would never get sick of seeing. His jaw dropping slightly open as his eyes trailed up and down your figure repeatedly, trying to get the image engraved in his mind. 

“Wow.” Was all he managed to mutter out before you giggled and stepped closer to him, his hand instinctively wrapping around your waist as you placed a soft kiss on his lips which he gladly reciprocated. 

“Looking pretty handsome yourself, Captain.” You teased, knowing what that word did to him when it fell from your lips. 

He let out a sigh, almost like he was biting back words. Instead, he just pulled you impossibly closer to his body, leaving no space between the two of you. 

“I can always cancel. We could stay here…” He trailed off, slowly moving his hand to the curve of your ass. 

You smiled, “No way. I’ve been dying to see what’s new on their menu. Plus, it wouldn’t be very nice to leave your teammates hanging.”

He rolled his eyes jokingly, “They’ll be fine. I’m more interested in finding out what’s under this dress than some dinner.”

“Well, in that case.” You slipped your hand into your purse, pulling out the small remote.

Quinn’s eyebrows furrowed at this, his instinct being to immediately press the first button he saw. You let out a soft moan as you felt the vibrations so suddenly, reaching out to press the button to shut it off. You dropped your head to lean against his chest, taking a few deep breaths to regain your composure.

“Let me explain before you click anything else.” You mumbled, immediately gaining his attention. 

He shook his head before you could even get a word out. “It’s your underwear, isn’t it? That’s what it’s for.”

“How did you-?” You began before he cut you off. 

“I opened the box they came in. You set it to my billing address, so my name was on the box. Thought it was that book I ordered, but this was even better to see.” He explained.

You let out a short whine of complaint, “So you knew I had these?”

He nodded, “Just been waiting for you to use them.”

Just before you could say anything else, his phone rang, and a number unknown to you was displayed on the screen. “Hello? Yeah, we’ll be there in twenty.” He turned back to you, taking your hand into his, “Time to go.”

Moving on from the previous discussion, you gave him a bright smile, excited to feast with him and the team. You dropped his hand, walking towards the front door to grab his keys off the hook when he clicked the button yet again, the pleasurable buzz in between your thighs causing your legs to buckle slightly. 

He walked up behind you, grabbing his keys for himself as you leaned your forehead against the wall, eyebrows knitted together as you tried your best to keep quiet, not wanting to give him an audible reaction to his surprise attack. 

Having been with you for the past two years, he knew exactly what you were doing. So he peppered kisses alongside your neck, reaching his hand up to thumb at your covered breasts. “C’mon, baby. Let me hear those pretty noises.” 

You did your best not to give in, a small whine slipping past your lips before he clicked the button again, stopping the feeling. You let out a sigh of relief and disappointment, at which Quinn let out a chuckle

“I’m gonna have so much fun with you tonight.”

He opened the apartment door, standing to the side as he watched you compose yourself before exiting the home, following you out, and shutting the door behind you. He locked the door, placing his hand on your lower back as the two of you began walking towards the parking garage where his car was parked.

You should’ve known he would mess with you from the second you left the apartment. As you walked towards the elevator, waiting for the lift to reach your floor, he pressed the button yet again, remote concealed in the pocket of his dress pants. You tensed up at the feeling, thankful you were at least alone, until the elevator dinged, revealing an elderly couple you guys had met over the time you lived at the apartment complex. They smiled warmly at the pair of you and you did your best to silently greet them with a smile. 

“You two are dressed so nicely, going out on a date?” The woman asked.

Quinn looked at you expectantly, as if he wanted you to answer. Was he crazy? If you opened your mouth right now the only thing that would come out would be a loud moan of his name. But he didn’t seem to care as silence slowly started to linger. 

So, in an attempt to not slip up, you settled for a smile and a “Mhm.”, hoping it would be the end of the conversation. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t.

“Where are you going? Robert and I tried this new seafood place the other day, best shrimp in the whole city!” She laughed. 

You took a deep breath, knowing Quinn wouldn’t answer for you. “Was it Coast? That’s where we’re heading right now.” 

She nodded, “Yes, yes. Something like that. Oh! Their crab dip was amazing!”

Doing your best to keep your composure, you let out a soft laugh, sighing in relief when the lift dinged again, stopping on their floor. 

“Well, you two enjoy your dinner! Treat her to an appetizer, will ya?"

Quinn laughed, “You know I will.”

They bid you two goodbye, the doors taking what seemed for an eternity to shut. Once they did, you let out a groan of relief and pleasure, the sensation becoming too much for you to bear. Quinn let out a soft laugh as you leaned back against him, your hand searching for his in an attempt to have something to hang on to. 

He had some mercy, giving you his hand and letting you squeeze it as lewd noises slipped past your glossed lips. “Gonna have to quiet down, baby.” 

“Kinda hard to do that when you made me-,” He turned up the speed. “Speak!” 

You could tell he was having way too much fun with this as you peered up at him through watery eyes, a smirk never leaving his face. Once again the elevator dinged, opening up the door to reveal the parking garage. He gave you a gentle push, your wobbly legs doing their best to stay upright and get you to the car. 

“Think you can hold on until we get to the restaurant?” Quinn asked.

You gave him a deranged look. “What? No. No way.”

He shrugged, “Either you wait or I leave you like this the whole night.”

“Quinn, please.” You whimpered, approaching the car.

He ignored your pleas, walking ahead of you to open your door for you. Even when he’s torturing you sexually, he’s still a gentleman. You slowly stepped in, doing your best to ignore the way the buzzing intensified as you settled into the seat. Quinn walked around the car and got in next to you, placing his hand on your inner thigh. You gripped the armrest of the seat, hoping it would give you the strength to hang on.

Your boyfriend noticed the way your thighs twitched subtly under his hand, your body struggling not to give in to the pleasure. He decided to cut you some slack, reaching into his pocket to turn up the intensity. You let out a moan, leaning your head back against the seat, your nails digging into the leather. 

Your brain was incredibly foggy, the only thing running through your mind being the amount of pleasure you were feeling. You hadn’t even noticed Quinn pulling out of the parking lot, and driving onto the main road. 

“This is your free pass, sweet girl. Let go f’me.” He encouraged, keeping his eyes on the road, silently praying for a red light. 

The traffic odds seemed to be in Quinn’s favour, the next light turning red as soon as he approached it. He turned his head, watching the way your eyes shut and your jaw dropped further, your legs trembling as you came with a cry of his name. 

If he could get this moment tattooed on the inside of his eyelids, he would. He watched as you writhed in your seat, dropping your head down as you came to. Quinn reached into his pocket, shutting off the feeling to give you a chance to calm down. 

He brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a comforting kiss to the back of your hand. He smiled as you gripped his hand, happy it was able to provide you that relief. 

“Holy shit.” You eventually sighed out, relaxing into the seat. 

Quinn smirked, “Oh, my beautiful girl. You have no idea what I plan on doing with you.” 

Letting out a breath, you opened your eyes again and looked at him. His jaw was clenched and his grip on the wheel made his knuckles go white. You quirked an eyebrow at the intensity of his gaze. “Hey, you okay?”

He didn’t answer you, he didn’t even glance at you. Now it was your turn to trail your eyes down his figure, seeing the bulge of his cock pressing against the fabric of his pants. A smirk rose to your face as you glanced at the GPS that Quinn had been following, seeing you were only eight minutes away from the restaurant.

You mustered up all the strength in your body to sit up and lean across the console of the car, pressing a kiss to his flushed cheeks. 

“I’m driving.” He mumbled, taking a deep breath in an attempt to control himself. 

You ignored his words, trailing your hand down his upper body and stopping when it reached the now extremely prominent bulge in his pants. He groaned, nose scrunching at the feeling. Smiling at his reaction, you let your kisses trail down his neck.

You could feel his hand looking for something, too distracted with palming him to realize just what he was searching for. As you fumbled with his zipper, he grabbed the remote that he had unknowingly dropped into the cupholder when you started showing him affection. He ran his thumb over the bumps of the buttons, finding the ‘on’ button yet again, but not pressing it quite yet.

You felt the object on your lower back as Quinn placed his hand there, needing to touch you as you got the zipper undone, freeing him from the constraints. 

“How much longer?” You whispered, kissing down his happy trail. 

He glanced to the side where his phone was, “Five minutes.”

You hummed, your kisses now finding his way to the base of his cock. He let out a deep moan as you took him in your mouth, the weight of it resting comfortably on your tongue. It took him a minute to adjust to the situation, trying his best to focus on driving and you at the same time. 

Quinn visibly relaxed, well, as much as he could while seeing how desperate you could be for him no matter the setting. He set the remote down, his calloused hand finding the back of your head, slowly pulling on your hair, then pushing. He sped up slowly, testing the waters. You grew frustrated at the pace, knowing you had limited time. 

As your patience grew thin, so did his. So, you reached behind to grab his hesitant hand, pushing and pulling for him. Thankfully, he got the hint and started his attack on your mouth. The gagging sound emanating from your throat made him throw his head back with a groan, immediately perking back up as he started driving off the road. 

Tears started forming in your eyes as Quinn kept pushing you far enough to reach the back of your throat. It wasn’t the most pleasurable feeling but the whimpery groans leaving his mouth were distractions enough. 

You became too entranced with his reactions to realize your hand was now resting on his knee, his hand no longer gripping your hair. The pace having set itself, he reached over, grabbing the control in his hand, and pressing the button that made you moan around his length.

Quinn groaned loudly at the vibration of your vocal cords, turning up the intensity of your panties before letting it drop to the ground and pressing your head impossibly further as he rutted his hips into your mouth. 

“Fuck, Y/N. You feel so good.” He mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open. 

You mumbled back something incoherent, your brain going numb at the dual sensations and lack of oxygen. You felt yourself getting close again as Quinn’s thrusts got sloppier, hinting he was there with you. 

In an attempt to let Quinn know, you squeezed your hand against the bone, causing him to let out a deep whine. “You’re so close, aren’t you baby?” With the nod of your head, he sped up. “Doing so good. Come with me, yeah?”

He didn’t have to say it twice, your core tensing as your legs shook wildly, the moans escaping you enough to set Quinn off, his hips stilling as let out a groan. His hand on the steering wheel tightened, as did the one on your head, keeping you in place as you both reached your peaks. 

Even though he wanted nothing more than to turn the car around and fuck you properly all over the apartment, Quinn reluctantly pulled the car into the restaurant’s parking lot, stationing the car poorly and turning off the engine.

As you came to your senses again, you winced at the feeling of the intense vibrations still going between your legs. You reached your hand down under his seat, picking up the now familiar clicker and stopping the feeling.

You pulled yourself off of him, his cum dripping from your lips. Mesmerized at the sight, Quinn couldn’t help but press his fingers to your lips, running his thumb over them before pushing the sticky liquid in. You kept your eyes trained on his as you sucked around his finger and swallowed around it. 

“I can’t wait for this night to be over.” He mumbled, leaning in to press a sloppy kiss to your mouth. “Gonna mess you up so bad when we get home.”

Placing the remote in his free hand, his eyes looked at it momentarily before returning to stare at yours. “Who says you have to wait for the night to be over?”

[almightyellie]

i'm not in love

in which angus always preferred being alone. at least, he used to.

pairing is angus tully x fem!reader

word count is 3.4k

author says don't look at me <3 not proofread bc it's me

you should watch out for college-aged angus, mostly just two besties who are so in love it makes them stupid

title song is i'm not in love // 10cc

angus tully answers his mother’s biweekly calls diligently. not because either of them truly want to speak to each other—it’s more perfunctory than anything. she calls and asks about school, and he tells her it’s good. then he asks about stanley, and she tells him about stanley’s job, and then she’ll ask angus about his job. he tells her it’s fine, and she offers him money that he’ll accept only if he’s in a particularly foul mood. after three years, they almost have it down to a perfect script. 

at least, he thought they did. 

“how’s y/n?”

the question catches him so off-guard that his sharp intake of breath makes him choke, but judy waits patiently for an answer. he mentioned you every once in a while. mostly, he likes that you’re an entirely separate part of his life from his mother and stanley. he’ll bring you up if she asks why he isn’t coming home on a holiday, or on the off-chance she asks about his weekend plans. yours is one of the only names he’s ever given her when he talks about school, and one of the only ones that seems to stick around longer than a few months at a time. “she’s…good,” he responds tentatively.

“what are you guys doing tonight?”

he stares at his phone in bemusement. “what is this?”

she sighs, and he can almost see that displeased look on her face. he had it memorized. “when are we going to meet her?”

“why do you want to meet her?” he asks. if he really thinks about it, it makes sense. you two had lived across from one another for three years, and you had fallen together in a way that almost felt predetermined. you are the longest standing person in his life post-high school, and his mother knows this.

he had always preferred being alone. even as a child, he had no interest in playing with the neighborhood kids in the middle of the street. he liked doing things by himself. he liked doing what he wanted without having to inform anyone else. when he had gone to college and found a semi-affordable apartment that he wouldn’t have to share, he had been elated. the cute girl across the hall had just been a plus. 

you two had always just worked. he holds everyone at arm's length, but it had never even occurred to him to shut you out. you two end up together most nights, watching movies or doing homework. it happens so easily that he hardly recognizes how strange it is. perpetual wallflower angus tully is attached.

“well, you two have been together for a while. if things are serious, i think it’s best that we meet her.”

angus blinks, shocked, before a nervous laugh bubbles up in his chest. it starts low, but the longer she waits in her own confused silence, the louder and more unruly his laughter becomes. he’s laughing—not because the idea is ridiculous, but because it’s so plausible that it takes him by surprise. he had spent the last two years trying to bury his feelings for you, and he had been so unsuccessful that even his mother had picked up on it.

“angus,” she snaps, and he giggles, even though it isn’t funny, even though his stomach twists and rolls in a way that makes him feel sick.

“i’m sorry,” he gasps, covering his eyes. “just…we—y/n and i aren’t together.”

there’s a long moment of silence where he catches his breath before his mom says, “angus, that’s not funny.”

“well, it is, if you think about it really hard,” he offers. she sighs, exasperated, and angus rubs his eyes. he can’t possibly explain to his mother what about this situation is truly amusing, because really, it isn’t funny. it’s not funny that he’s desperately in love with his best friend, and it’s not funny that she oscillates between entirely oblivious and seemingly aware. 

“you’re telling me you’ve been missing family holidays for a girl you aren’t dating?” 

he can tell she doesn’t believe him, and he doesn’t bother reminding her that they haven’t had a real family holiday in years. long before he started university, and long before he met you. besides, answering that question honestly is dangerous, and should he not handle this delicately, he’ll find himself on the wrong side of his mother’s wrath.

“uh…”

he’s fumbling, panicking, and it only gets worse when he hears his front door open. “angus?” you call, and his whole body cringes, his head falling to rest on the wall.

“angus,” judy warns.

“yeah,” he blurts, watching you round the corner. you smile, offering only a small wave as you drop your bag onto his kitchen table. “no, mom, obviously not. that would be ridiculous.”

as he feels her anxiety cease, his own skyrockets. he’s focused entirely on you; your back is turned toward him as you open his fridge, searching through the shelves for something to eat. if it were anyone else, he’d be irritated, but he almost loves it when you do it. loves that you feel comfortable enough in his home to make yourself feel at home, that he can take care of you in the smallest way. most nights, when he lies in bed and thinks of you, he finds himself thinking of the ways he could take care of you. the ways he could give you what he never had, the things that had been ripped from him. security. unconditional affection. peace. he’s barely listening when his mother sighs again. “you know, i don’t understand your humor sometimes.”

“i know,” he says. you kick the fridge closed, enough food in your hands to feed both of you. “hey, she actually just got here. can i let you go?”

“not until you answer my question.” her voice is clipped now, and angus winces. some nights she’s a little more forgiving with his distraction, a little more responsive to the things he says that she doesn’t necessarily understand. tonight, he’s more distracted than usual and less decipherable than ever. “when can we meet her?”

angus groans, and you smile over your shoulder. you know better than anyone how much he struggles with his mother. you’ve listened in on many of their phone calls, and patiently listened to him complain about them later. “i don’t know, mom.”

“how about easter?” she asks. angus turns to lean against the wall and watch you, and you lean against the counter, waiting for him to be done. he rolls his eyes, a silent cue that things are taking longer than he’d like. “stanley and i can drive up that saturday and take you guys out for a nice dinner. on us.”

reluctantly, only because he knows that she’ll blow a gasket if they don’t nail down plans on this phone call, and because he wants this to be over, he huffs. he pulls the receiver away slightly and asks, “you want to have dinner with my mom and stanley easter weekend?”

you blink owlishly. “what? why?”

“they want to meet you.”

��why?” you insist. he glares at you impatiently; knowing angus—more, knowing what you know about his mother—an answer is needed now, and explanation must come later. the idea of meeting his mom makes your stomach turn uncomfortably, but there he stands. even with a hard glare, you feel safe with him. you feel the need to do what he asks of you, and you know him well enough to know that he wouldn’t ask if he thought it would be something you couldn’t handle. “uh…i guess, yeah.”

he offers a grateful smile. “easter weekend sounds great, mom.”

they quickly finalize plans before hanging up, and the second the receiver is back on hook, he groans loudly, rubbing his eyes. you wait for him to speak, but he stands with his hands over his eyes, hiding from you. “angus.”

“she thinks you’re my girlfriend,” he blurts.

you really don’t mean to start laughing. “what?”

his lips turn up in a sheepish smile. “i guess they’ve thought we were together this entire time,” he chuckles. “and i panicked! she accused me missing holidays to spend time with you and i didn’t want to get in trouble—”

you clutch your stomach, doubled over in laughter. he doesn’t want to laugh—frankly, he’s a little hurt that you find the idea so laughable, but he had laughed, too. “you caved,” you gasp. “you caved and told a lie because you didn’t want to get in trouble with your mommy.”

“okay.” he rolls his eyes. “whatever. you’re part of this now, too.”

your giggles die down and you turn to take the food out of the microwave. “hey, i could back out. i could break up with you at any time.”

he scoffs, but doesn’t respond. often enough, when you’re doing exactly what you’re doing now, angus’ feelings become overwhelming. watching you move around his kitchen with the kind of natural domesticity makes him feel choked, buried under his overflowing affection.

the harder he fights his feelings, the worse they get. you’re his best friend—it’s not on purpose, either; you aren’t at all the kind of person he ever thought he would fall for. you were bitingly funny, of course, but you fought him constantly. he wouldn’t even say you were particularly nice for the first few months you two knew one another. you’re entirely out of left field, and he can’t even get a read on you half the time—not that he even really wants to. part of him thinks that knowing exactly what you think about him would be truly crushing.

“i guess a free meal could be nice,” you tease, stirring your dinner with a knowing smile.

“yeah, you’re so unused to those,” he bites, pushing himself off the wall. you beam.

it’s surprising, in a way, that you hadn’t met angus’ mom and stepfather already. he’s met your family a thousand times over; they take you both out to dinner every single time they visit you. they had sent him a birthday gift this year, for christ’s sake. but you could probably count the amount of time angus had seen his mother in the last three years on both hands. you were surprised enough that she even remembered your name.

you had spent your entire friendship with angus thinking about his mother. being angry with her. your best friend is caring, in his own stilted, modest way. he’s witty and so smart that it intimidates you, and he’s loyal. it tells you all you need to know that his relationship with his mother isn’t strong. 

he bumps you out of the way, and you let him. you watch him open the cupboard for plates to evenly split the leftover pasta, and your chest nearly heaves with confused affection. you see the way he looks at you when he’s not careful. with an unrestrained reverence, with a tenderness that can’t be forced. it had made you uncomfortable, at first. made you feel like you couldn’t be around him anymore. you had tried to pull away—for a day or two. 

the reality of the entire situation is that angus tully belongs in your life. you adore him too much to cut him out, and even if you didn’t, it kills you to think of him alone. he’s a lone wolf; it’s amazing enough that you two have connected the way that you have. if angus didn’t have you, he had a few friends from class. maybe two or three guys from work. but nothing as deep, nothing as serendipitous as your friendship. 

discomfort with his feelings had grown into a tentative acceptance once you realized he had no plans on acting on them, and after a few months, tentative acceptance had grown into…something else entirely. you aren’t sure exactly what it is. it isn’t like those juvenile, giddy crushes you had harbored in high school. angus doesn’t keep you up at night, nor does he make you lovesick. he puts you at ease. he makes you feel safe. he makes you feel like yourself.

you don’t want to confront the strange sense of peace that angus has offered you without even knowing. without even trying. you don’t want to change your friendship, or misattribute your feelings, so you ignore them. and you ignore the way he looks at you, and how he insists on making your favorite dinners, even though he complains about you eating his leftovers, and how he uses your spare key to lock your door every single time he leaves your apartment without fail. 

your knees bump together under the tiny table in his kitchen as you two eat dinner. you listen to him talk about his coworkers, lulled into relaxation by his deep voice; you always loved your dinnertime conversations. mostly, one of you just talked. you would talk about school and work and your classmates and your days; they aren’t even really conversations. it’s just an excuse to talk and an opportunity to listen. he doesn’t mind when you don’t respond, and neither of you care if the other person talks the entire time. it’s time spent together more than anything else. you think about how effortless it feels. how you could do this every night with intention, not under the guise of getting out of your apartment. you think about the dinner with his mom, and how you’ll both put on nice outfits to go out, and how you’ll come home together, and how you’ll dissect every detail of the dinner and the conversations for the entire night, if not for days afterwards.

you notice only a moment too late that you’ve zoned out, and angus kicks your shin gently. “you good?”

with a reassuring smile, you nod. “yeah. i’m just thinking about dinner with your mom.”

he’s bashful when he laughs quietly. “yeah…sorry. i know i kind of screwed you over.” you can tell that he truly does feel bad, but the longer you think about it, the less you dread it. you think you might actually like an excuse to acknowledge the way angus looks at you, for him to not have to hide it. 

“i don’t know…i’m kind of excited,” you admit, pushing food around your plate. angus looks at you from under his lashes, taking pause at your tone. you refuse to look at him, and it sends his heart into overdrive; he’s panicked, certainly, and so in love with you that it makes him nauseous. he isn’t entirely sure that he’ll survive a night of you pretending. of it all feeling so real.

he can feel a confession coming, bubbling up in his chest, and he swallows in panic. “she’s—she’ll like you, i think.”

with a slight smile, you push your plate away from you. “i’m not sure i’ll like her.”

which he loves about you, naturally. 

he clears his throat to bury the confession and stands; angus grabs both plates and turns his back to you to hide his flushed cheeks. shamelessly, since he can’t see you, you watch him, soothed simply by the way he moves. by how familiar he is. by how you can almost predict every move he makes. the words fall out before you’re even cognizant of them

“just so you know, i don’t mind your mom thinking i’m your girlfriend.”

the way he freezes makes your shoulders tense. you hadn’t meant to say that. it was true, but he didn’t need to know that. angus’ mind screeches to a full stop before it starts running ten times faster than before. what did that mean?

slowly—so slowly that you almost don’t notice—he sets the plates in the sink. you won’t get out of this. you know you won’t, because you know angus. once the door is open, he’ll take the opportunity to push it every single time. “why?” he asks, his voice a carefully constructed tone of ease. he plays it well; his nonchalance is almost perfectly natural. it nearly tricks you.

still kicking yourself, you shrug even though he can’t see you. instead, you start emptying your bag to distract yourself. textbooks and notebooks and pencils clatter against the table. “just…we could sell it, don’t you think?” it’s not even close to what he wants to hear, and you buckle down even though you know you won’t win this one. “we know everything about each other.”

he snorts, and it puts you at ease. not because you’re going to get out of this. you know something dangerous is going to come out of this conversation, but because it’s angus. it’s your best friend. and you know him, and you know the way he treats you is symptomatic of something much larger. it used to scare you, but it doesn’t now. not now that he washes your dishes, the sleeves of his sweater pushed up to his elbows. you trust him. you know that any vulnerability you share will be returned to you tenfold.

“yeah, right. that just makes it convenient,” he says knowingly, head tilting. he watches you sort through your textbooks, hiding your anxiety while you busy yourself.

part of you hopes that he’ll just drop it. not because you don’t think things will work out, but because you love how things are between the two of you. the almosts, the what-ifs, the wondering is something you so love to savor. it’s still so easy between you two; all of those what-ifs still exist only in your minds, only in the silent space between you that neither of you are willing to acknowledge. there’s plausible deniability. there’s safety.

you smile shakily, glancing up at him. “i guess i mean…that we…work?”

he smiles back, comforting but still audacious. “and by that, you mean…”

with a groan, you fold your arms and bury your face in them. you know this leap can only be beneficial, but you’re struggling to let yourself admit anything. it’s more frustrating than the denial. 

angus stares at you, suddenly the emotionally constipated one, and his heart is pounding in his ears. he can feel it beating against his chest; he’s not brave enough to hope. it’s too scary for him to wonder if this is finally it, if you had been as keenly aware as he had assumed you to be. 

“just…i think there’s a reason my mom thinks we’re together. just so you know.” you groan louder, unmoved by his words, and he continues, “beyond the fact that we’re constantly together.”

you peek up at him, your chin still pressed against your forearms. he watches you, big brown eyes wide open with vulnerability. he’s waiting. you figure it’s as good of a segue as he’s going to give you. with a deep breath, ignoring the turning and rolling of your stomach, you say, “i feel like…things could be like that between us.”

he breaks into a smile so wide that you have to look away from him. “oh, is that what this is about?” he asks facetiously. 

you grunt, irritated. “don’t tease me.”

he laughs, uncrossing his arms. you don’t even want to look at him, humiliated. he hasn’t rejected you—in fact, you know he’s just keeping you on the line to tease you. it irritates you, but he seems giddy, even if he tries to act like he’s unaffected. he can’t keep that goofy smile off his face. it entirely gives him away. “hey,” he says, voice bright. “c’mere.”

“no,” you spit, annoyed. you know that the second you give in, everything will change. for the better, you think, but it will change. you hold on to the wondering for just a moment longer, but you can’t help yourself. he waits patiently at the counter, holding on to the ledge. you like the wondering, but you think you’re ready to find out if it’s as good as it seems it would be.

self-conscious, you cross the room to him. you stand only centimeters apart, and he grins at you, fingers gently stroking the hem of your collar. “you know, right?”

you don’t have to ask what he means. you know. maybe not the depths, but you know. the way he looks at you is enough to let you know. the way he takes care of you tells you what his words haven’t yet. they will. “you can’t hide from me, angus tully.”

he loves that about you, too. he’ll tell you all the specifics later. for now, he kisses you, a long arm around your waist, and you think that this is much better than the what-ifs.

[wyrmfedgrave]

Pics:

1 & 2. Examples of guineas¹, a British coin 1st made for trade in western Africa.

In the 1st, the motto is Latin for "Anne², by the grace of God."

The 2nd reads "William & Mary³, by the grace of God."

3 & 4. The outside & inside of the grim Newgate⁴ prison, a place from which few prisoners ever returned...

5 & 6. Sample covers from Argosy⁵ magazine's long history.

Two of their more famous writers are represented here: the now forgotten Talbot Mundy⁶ & the immortal Edgar Rice Burroughs⁷.

1914: Poetic Addendum.

Intro: "Sors Poetae⁸" is a good example of the type of short poems that Lovecraft sent out during the nearly year long Letter War.

It shows that Howard could write in a normal manner - when he wished to.

Other than the title, there's only a few interesting allusions made here.

There might also be a bit of mystery to be found in it...

Work: "True, your lines... reach the public's eye. But, how much bread will public reading buy⁹?"

"While better men, with 50 times his skill, Are thrust in Newgate, for a tailor's bill¹⁰."

No plot so stale, No levity so strained, That an idle guinea may be gained."

Notes:

1. A guinea was an English coin worth one pound & a shilling (£1.05), which equaled 21 shillings. This would be worth a $1.22 in the U.S. today.

The guinea was used to buy luxury goods, art & high-end items. Yet, it is not in use any longer.

As a word, guinea comes from the 1400s Portuguese Guine, a name which described "the black folk living south of the Senegal River in West Africa."

The word was also used for bird & place names. Plus, it has been used as a curse word cast on various, different minorities...

2. Anne, Queen of England, Scotland & Ireland in the early 1700s. She precided over the Acts of Union that merged Scotland & England.

She favored moderate Tory politicians, who shared her Anglican religious beliefs. And, dismissed many Whigs from their high offices.

Anne grew increasingly sick, suffering thru 17 pregnancies & died without leaving any live children behind...

3. When, in 1689, King James the 2nd deserted the throne of England, Mary & William were offered the kingship - as joint monarchs!

They had to accept a Bill of Rights that limited their royal power & which made Parliament free of any royal interference.

Mary suffered thru at least 4 different miscarriages. But, was lighthearted, gentle & approachable.

She would die of smallpox in 1694.

William, being a cold & distant leader, was not very popular - especially with the Scots.

He had little time for court life & was happiest on the battlefield.

William would die in 1702, after a fall from his horse.

4. Newgate prison in London, England was once situated just inside the city's border - where a gate in the old Roman wall once stood.

Usually, the only way out of this jail was by the hangman's noose!!

Originally commissioned in the 1100s by King Henry the 2nd, Newgate remained in use til 1902!

Today, the only part remaining of this 'chokey' is a wall in the appropriately named Amen Court...

5. Argosy was a U.S. publication that was founded in 1882 - as a children's weekly newspaper!!

It would last til 1979, by becoming a showcase of popular fiction - for every genre imaginable!

Argosy is considered to be the 1st pulp magazine. After many changes in titles, editors & formats, it ended up as a men's adventure 'rag.'

At 1 time or another, the mag included works from O. Henry ("Gift of the Magi"), Robert Heinlein ("Starship Troopers"), Arthur C. Clark ("2001: A Space Odyssey") & Erle Stanley Gardner ("Perry Mason").

Plus, Max Brand ("Dr. Kildare"), Ray Bradbury ("Fahrenheit 451"), Robert E. Howard ("Conan the Barbarian") & Edward R. Burroughs ("Tarzan of the Apes").

Argosy has been revived several times, most recently in 2016.

6. Talbot Mundy was an English writer of adventure fiction.

He worked as a journalist in British India, an ivory poacher in East Africa & as a writer in NYC.

Mundy then went to Jerusalem, where he established that city's 1st English newspaper.

Back in the U.S., he embraced the Theosophy movement. And, got married 5 times.

Mundy would later die of diabetes...

His best known works are "Tros of Samothrace", "Queen Cleopatra" & "Sword of Iskandar."

Mundy's stories have been favorably compared to the works of the more successful H. Rider Haggard ("She" & "King Solomon's Mines") & Rudyard Kipling ("Jungle Books" & "Captains Courageous").

7. The still well known Edgar Rice Burroughs & his eternal creation "Tarzan of the Apes" need little by way of introduction.

Rice is also the creator of John Carter, the "Warlord of Mars" & many lesser known heroes...

Like Lovecraft, Rice was descended from a Puritan in the Massachusetts Bay Colony.

Rice became a soldier with the 7th U.S. Calvary in Fort Grant, Arizona Territory.

But, a heart problem saw him being discharged in 1897.

Rice then drifted around as a cowboy, factory worker & as a gold dredge manager in south Idaho.

He then worked in the Oregon Short Line Railroad & as a wholesaler - before starting to write.

Rice later became a successful pilot & was in Honolulu during the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor!

He received permission & became 1 of the oldest war correspondents during WW2.

Rice made it thru the war, moved out West & earned some $2 million in royalties from 27 Tarzan films!

He died, of a heart attack, & is buried in Tarzana, California.

8. "Sors Poetae" is Latin for "fate of the Poet." Lovecraft was a believer in the idea that the Western World was 'declining.'

This went in hand with his belief that minorities were slowly destroying the English world.

Even the English language was under foreign assault!

This was a common thought at that time. But, we see the same idea cropping up today - with the Rump's MAGA campaign.

The truth is that the U.S. has seen several ups & downs in it's economy.

This is normal for all nations.

9. I take this comment as a reference to the poor pay that pulp writers got in those days. Howard received $200 for his "Call of Cthulhu" novella...

HPL was, at this time, very harsh on commercial works. He felt that any economic reward was diluting the greatness of fictional works.

Lovecraft saw amateur writers as the true heroes of the written word. This because they were free to dream up any new types of fiction.

Like he would eventually do...

10. Who is Howard referencing here? A classical author 50 times better than Jackson & jailed (in Newgate!) for not paying for a suit?!

If anybody knows the identity of this mystery man, I'd appreciate it if you could let me know...

[collymore]

Normal St. Ku Klux Kate Middleton of course and her gormless non-live-in spouse William!

By Stanley Collymore

The British monarchy has successfully exploited and handsomely bribed the mass media to convince the gullible and easily manipulated British public that its own members are patently somehow special and evidently superior to all others. When, in reality, the clearly unremarkable Windors, quite obviously basically represent nothing other, than the continuity of very gross inequality, manifestly vile unaccountable power, societal injustice, distinctly blatantly and, undoubtedly rampant, immoral greed and simply lax morals, with a notorious influence on paedophilia and likewise very manifestly, serial adultery. Therefore these evidently Windsor groupies actually need to either remember or aptly acquaint themselves with the simply, awful facts; that shamefully, some thirty percent of children crucially living in the UK, generally live in poverty which in stark, and pitiable reality, according to several and likewise   distinctively prominent, reputable charities, is far in excess of more than four million children! So, my solution? Abolish these farcically scandalously lying and so-called normal parents, literally like Kate and William, and essentially as a most suitably, rather distinctively fitting bonus, together with them the full useless British monarchy.

(C) Stanley V. Collymore 4 January 2024.

Author's Remarks: Why does the Daily Mail publish rubbish like this? A rhetorical question from me as the answer I'm sure is quite obvious to equally intelligent persons like myself; but in a single word, money!

Kate and William, apart from their rather glossed over or not reported at all living conditions, are not normal parents. And why not? For starters they're both sitting on immense and unearned riches; and to suggest otherwise is pretty insulting to those real parents who through no fault of their own are struggling every day to simply exist and bring up their children successfully.

Doing so without a plethora of servants of all kinds as well as nannies to literally raise their children for them; and, rather obviously as well, have to wake up every morning to real life!

So essentially Daily Mail, your hacks and trolls please get rail. For reporting as you are doing and backed supportively by all these gullible morons on Kate Middleton and equally also William is nothing other than cruel, plus most egregious, vile and sick, insulting commentaries to ordinary and unpampered, privileged and actually self-entitled as well as discernibly, rather ridiculous, essentially so-called "normal" parents like St. Kate Ku Klux Middleton and her, in name only, simply gormless husband William!

Incidentally, normal parents actually work and quite literally don't have a plethora of nannies to effectively and daily raise their employers' own children; neither do such "normal" parents aptly have an abundance  of maids, chefs and cleaners at their own beck and call, and ludicrously with historic castles at their own disposal and to live in!

For the sole benefit of the Daily Mail, its hacks and undeniable surfeit of evidently intellectually challenged, utterly gullible and easily manipulated feudal mindset, avid monarchical and sycophantic serf trolls instinctively inclined to think and even earnestly believe that my previous paragraphical statement has anything to do with envy or jealousy on my part quite requisite to the Windsor family, just forget it; as you're so wrong! And not in the least so because I simply couldn't give a toss where, or in what state of existence the Windsors live in, so long as they're quite personally and very thoroughly financially paying for their own state(s) of habitation.

That said though, and aptly hogging my mind, how about whatever incumbent UK government there is at the time, with the Express support of the genuine British taxpayers who undoubtedly involuntarily find themselves paying for these Windsors upkeep, either permanently or else in lieu of that not being feasible for diverse and practicable reasons, rent exclusively the land immediately around the base of Mt. Vesuvius in Italy or Grimsvoeth in Iceland and essentially relocate their living abode there? Accordingly, in the actual process of doing so, with their full complement of advisors, PR consultants or more fittingly propagandists, and quite applicably with several such rather likeminded personnel from the Daily Mail, and quite naturally of course, the entirety of the Windsors own household minions! As it most certainly wouldn't be proper or polite to absolutely exclude them! Lol!

[orangeoctopi7]

Buzzfeed Unsolved: The Suspicious Crash of Stanley Pines

The theme for @stanuary week 3 is Crime... what about... TRUE CRIME? I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved this last summer, so I’ve been wanting to do something like this.

If you don’t watch Buzzfeed Unsolved, this is probably gonna seem like a lot of rambling.

On the morning of July Fourth, 1982 in the sleepy logging town of Gravity Falls, Oregon, there was a firey explosion that wasn't part of the fireworks and festivities. A car had gone over the edge of the town's famed floating cliffs.

"Floating cliffs?" Shane asked

"They're like, giant overhangs. They're not just floating up in the middle of the air like Pandora or something." Ryan explained, showing Shane a photo on his phone.

"Oh, that's pretty."

"It is really pretty."

"What a beautiful place for a car to careen over a cliff."

Ryan cracked up.

"You get a lovely view as you plummet to your death." Shane imagined.

Between 6:15 and 6:20 PM, the Gravity Falls Police Department received six separate calls reporting seeing a yellow car in flames drive off the edge of the cliff and crash to the valley below.

When investigators arrived on the scene, they found the remains of a crushed and burnt 1971 Subaru DL Coupe. The police report notes finding that the brakes were cut, and evidence of gasoline being poured into the driver’s seat to start the fire. Strangest of all, no body was found in or around the crash, only a few burnt strands of hair.

“So, right off the bat, real suspicious.” Shane commented.

“Yeah, and it only gets more suspicious from here.” Ryan assured his co-host.

“And I’m assuming there’s no chance that they guy, y’know, got up and walked away from the crash?” 

“Oh, no, no way. You saw the picture of the cliffs.”

“Oh yeah, no way.”

“There’s no way anyone in the car would have survived that fall.”

“And it was on fire.”

“And it was on fire.”

Despite the lack of a body, the police determined from the few burnt strands of hair and an anonymous tip they received at 6:15 PM on the day of the crash, the driver of the car was one Stanley Pines, a 31 year old man from Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. Allegedly, he had been coming to Gravity Falls, Oregon to visit his twin brother, Stanford, who lived just a ten minute drive from the cliff Stan’s car had driven off.

“Wait, wait, wait--” Shane interrupted Ryan’s explanation, “Twin brothers. Named Stanley and Stanford.”

“Yeah.”

“Who the f___ names their kids like that?”

“I know, right?”

“Were they identical twins?”

“Uh, I couldn’t find anything saying they were definitely genetically identical, but, uh, with the way this case goes, it’s safe to assume they were identical enough.”

“Yikes, I feel sorry for them growing up, can you imagine how often people got them mixed up?”

“Yeah, but imagine the kinds of shenanigans they must have gotten up to!”

“Oh, that’s true. There would have been plenty of shenanigans. Lots and lots of shenanigans.”

“If you had twins, would you give them cutesy twin names?” Ryan asked.

“No.” Shane answered firmly.

“I think I’d just do like, alliterative names. Nothing too similar.” 

“Yeah, no I think twins probably have to deal with enough confusion bull___ without having to throw similar names or the same initials into the mix.”

“Interestingly enough…” Ryan started.

“Yeah, I’m guessing from your comments that the twin thing plays into this.”

When interviewed by the police, Stanford claimed his brother never arrived at his house. However, testimonies of other townsfolk reported seeing a red 1967 El Diablo with a distinctive “STNLYMBL” vanity license plate driving up the road to Stanford’s house earlier that winter. The house is out in the woods, isolated from the rest of the town, so no one would drive up that way unless they were going to see the cabin.

“Well what if they just wanted to take a walk out in the woods?” Shane countered.

“It was in early February.” 

“Snowshoeing.”

“In a blizzard.”

“Ok, you do not have a weather report for the exact day they saw this car!”

“Two of the testimonies mention there was a snow storm that day. Plus, the license plate says STANLEY MOBILE.”

“Well, Stanley is a fairly common name.”

“You-you’re just being contrary to bug me now, aren’t you?” Ryan accused.

Shane just grinned.

What’s more, that same red El Diablo was the car Stanford now drove. 

“What!?” Shane laughed with disbelief for a moment before putting on a mocking tone. “Uh, yeah, he never showed up, but, uh, I have his car. I’m still driving it. Y’know, seemed like a waste to just let it sit in the driveway.”

“He didn’t even change the license plate.” Ryan added.

“Oh, of course not!” Shane said sarcastically. “Why go through all that trouble?”

Upon further inspection, the car that crashed was registered to Stanford, and had been reported totaled almost seven years prior.

“It’s interesting that they say it was totaled.” Ryan commented. “Because totalled just means that the damage is more expensive to fix than the car is worth, so it could have still been drivable.”

“And if you’re trying to fake a car crash, what better to use than an already worthless car?” Shane agreed. 

“Exactly.”

Stanley Pines was declared dead by auto accident and the case was closed in September of 1982, due to lack of evidence and quote: “A lack of interest from the involved parties”.

“A lack of interest from the involved parties!? What the h___ does that even mean?” Shane asked in bewilderment.

“It’s odd, to be sure.”

It’s when we look into the background of the presumed dead Stanley, and his brother Stanford, that this case becomes truly bizarre. 

Stanley Pines left home at the age of 17, and had brief but unsuccessful careers as an amature prize fighter and as a salesman, before he turned to a life of crime. Prior to his reported death, he had been in prison five times, in three different countries, and had lived under at least eight different assumed names, with several others that were never confirmed. He had known ties to the mob and drug cartels.

“Quite the shady character. That might explain why the police didn’t look too closely into his ‘death’.” Shane put air quotes around “death”.

“Well, does it? I mean, if they thought his death might have been related to the mob…” Ryan argued.

“They know better than to mess with the mob, even in Oregon.”

“I mean, we have seen in several past True Crime episodes, what can happen if you mess with the mob.”

“Oh yeah.”

“You don’t wanna do it.”

“Nope.”

His brother Stanford was no less strange. He was born with fully-functional polydactyly, meaning he had six fingers on each hand. It’s worth noting that after 1982, Stanford no longer had 6 fingers. He claims that he had them surgically removed, because, quote: “I was sick of people staring.”

“Uh-huh. Sure.” Shane said doubtfully.

“You don’t believe that explanation?”

“Let’s just say I find it highly suspect.”

Stanford was also a certified genius, graduating with the most PhDs Backupsmore University had ever awarded. As a graduate student, he worked as a researcher and inventor for the US Government. Some sources say he worked on top-secret experiments. 

In 1975, he received a $100,000 research grant, which he used to move to Gravity Falls and become a Paranormal Researcher. When he arrived in Gravity Falls, he was the subject of many rumors throughout the town, due to his reclusive nature and strange area of study. 

“Oh, so this guy was basically you.” Shane pointed out.

“He’s basically me if I didn’t have you.” Ryan agreed.

“Awww, that’s sweet!” Shane placed a hand over his heart.

Many residents reported seeing strange lights coming from Stanford’s home in the woods starting almost as soon as he moved in, as well as strange sounds.

“Well, it seems like Gravity Falls is a pretty small town. People gossip.” Shane reasoned.

“Ok, yeah, but people gossip about who’s cheating on who, or what business secretly sells drugs out the back. They don’t gossip about strange lights coming out of the new neighbor’s basement.”

“They could. It’s gossip. Gossip can be about anything.”

Reports of the lights stopped in late January of 1982. Just four months later, in March, Stanford began opening up his home for tours, and in a matter of weeks, transformed his home into a tourist stop called the “Murder Hut.”

“Oh my g__.” Shane stifled a laugh. “A little on the nose there, don’t you think?”

“He did rename it to the Mystery Shack about a year later.”

“Hmm, yeah I wonder why?” Shane asked facetiously. 

Stanford also exhibited paranoid behavior on several occasions before the crash, especially in the early months of 1982.

One local reported seeing Stanford screaming “No it isn’t, you creeps! I can see you just fine!” down an alleyway. Several other eyewitnesses reported seeing him fall out of his seat at the Triple Digits Truck Stop Diner on Route 14 and scream for something to “get out of his mind” before fleeing the building.

“So, he definitely seemed to think something was out to get him.” Ryan commented.

“Not the words of a sane man.”

“Unless something really was out to get him.”

“Eeeeh, even then…” Shane wiggled his hand in a so-so motion. 

Dan Corduroy, one of the few people who had regular contact with Stanford before he opened the Mystery Shack, had this to say about the sudden change from research lab to tourist trap:

“Oh, he’s definitely been acting differently. He was really shy before, hard to talk to even. He seemed uncomfortable spending a lot of time with people. I’d invite him over to one of my family’s cabins to visit, but he only ever wanted to visit the haunted one while we were all out of town. I’d say it was a good change, though. It wasn’t good for him to be alone all the time like that. I’m glad he’s finally spending time with other people.”

“He only wanted to visit our haunted cabin.” Shane repeated with disbelief. “Hey, do you wanna come over to visit one of our cabins?” He put on a voice. “Uh, that depends, what kind of cabins have you got?’ ‘Well there’s one by the lake, one with a nice view of the valley, and one that’s haunted.’ ‘Oh, I’ll take the haunted one!”

“What gets me is he only wanted to visit the haunted cabin while everyone else was out of town. We’ve stayed in our fair share of haunted places, and it was bad enough staying overnight, just me and you, but there is nothing that could convince me to spend the night in one of those places all by myself.”

“I mean, I’m pretty sure none of the places we’ve been to have actually been haunted, but I see what you mean. It’s not fun to go to a haunted house by yourself. It’s kinda boring.”

“Um, we’re not gonna get into this discussion now, because we still haven’t even gotten to the theories yet, but you’re wrong.”

The case came to light again in August of 2012, when Federal agents arrested Stanford Pines, and detained him for several hours for questioning. By the next day, he had been released, and officials stated that his arrest had been due to a false lead. What exactly that false lead was, however, was never stated.

Now that we’ve gone over the extensive background of this case, let’s get into the theories of what really happened that 4th of July in 1982.

Theory #1: The theory put forth by the police, that Stanley Pines died in a fiery car accident.

“So then how do they explain what happened to the body?” Shane asked.

“It doesn’t say.” Ryan.

“And why were the breaks cut?”

“No explanation given.”

“That’s a stupid theory, those cops ought to be fired.”

Ryan stifled a laugh. “You’re not wrong.”

Theory #2: That Stanley killed his brother, made it look like his own death, and took over his brother’s life. This would explain the loss of his extra fingers, the sudden change in behavior that led him to open up the Mystery Shack, and his sudden acquisition of Stanley’s car. It does not, however, explain the lack of a body in the crash.

“He could have disposed of his brother’s body somewhere else, and then just like, left an ice block on the gas pedal and let the car run itself off the cliff.” Shane theorized.

“That’s possible. I was also thinking, maybe the body was gone. Maybe Stanley didn’t necessarily kill Stanford, maybe they met up in the woods, Stanford got eaten by a bear, and Stanley, who was already in trouble with the mob, took advantage of the situation, and faked his own death.”

“How--why did you work your fear of bears into this?” 

“That’s just my variation on this theory.”

“Then why all the secrecy? Why not say that he was the one who got eaten by the bear? Why fake the car crash and then say his brother never showed up?”

“Because if the mob knew he’d talked to his brother before he died, maybe they’d come question him?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s a possibility.”

Theory #3: That Stanford killed Stanley and made it look like an accident. People who support this theory say the psychological trauma and guilt of killing his own brother may have driven Stanford to change his appearance and behavior to more closely resemble that of his dead brother.

“That’s… kind of a stretch.” Shane said slowly. “I feel like, Occam's Razor, theory 2 is more plausible.”

“What makes you say that one’s more plausible?”

“I dunno, just saying ‘He killed his brother and took his place’ seems a lot more likely than ‘The other brother killed him and the guilt drove him to act like his brother. I don’t think that’s how psychology works.”

Theory #4: Both brothers are still alive. Stanley, on the run from the mob, came to his brother Stanford for help. Meanwhile, Stanford was worried about someone or something that was out to get him. They came to a solution that would solve both their problems: switching places. They would fake Stanley’s death, throwing the mob off of Stanley’s trail. Then, Stanley would take Stanford’s place in the public eye, while Stanford went into hiding.

This theory is supported by photos that surfaced on Facebook in 2012. Several photos of Gravity Falls after a series of earthquakes did extensive damage to the town show what is supposed to be Stanford. However, another man that looks just like him is seen standing in the background. Interestingly enough, both mens’ hands are obscured in all of these photos. 

While the photos haven’t been analysed by any professionals to definitively determine if either of the men are Stanley Pines, it has been determined that the photos are not edited.

“Would the whole photo recognition software even work on identical twins?” Ryan wondered.

“I don’t think so?” Shane answered unsurely. “I mean, my Facebook facial recognition auto-tag doesn’t even recognize my mom half the time, so I wouldn’t be surprised if twins throw it off.”

“Just looking at some of these photos yourself, what do you think?” Ryan handed a few print-outs from his folder to Shane.

“Oh wow, yeah, they do look alike.” Shane nodded. “Alright, yeah, I’m convinced. We solved it, guys! Video over!”

“We actually do have one more theory.” Ryan informed him.

Theory #5: Stanford was abducted by aliens.

“Oh for f___’s sake--” Shane threw his hands up in frustration. “We have four perfectly good, plausible explanations, and you have to throw that in!”

“This one actually does have some evidence behind it.”

“Bull____, but go on.”

Stanford was a professional paranormal researcher. Although he was very secretive about his research, even to his grant committee, some of his research notes do list looking for proof of ancient aliens visiting the valley before European contact. Could it be the thing he was afraid of was aliens?

“... That’s it?” Shane asked. “When you said this one actually had some evidence behind it, I thought you meant there was a UFO sighting in the same area around the same time.”

“The negative space between the floating cliffs kinda looks like a UFO” Ryan pointed out.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean a random researcher in the 80’s was abducted by aliens! That’s like, if I found a ransom note for you in the office, but I said ‘Well, Ryan was afraid of bears. Bears used to live in California, there’s one on the state flag outside our building. He must have been eaten by a bear.’ That’s the kind of leap in logic we’re talking about!”

Was this a case of fratricide? Or is this the longest and most elaborate twin switch of all time? For now, this case remains… UNSOLVED.

 * * *

“It was really hard for me to stay on topic while I was researching this one.” Ryan admitted as they wrapped things up. “There is a lot of weird stuff related to Gravity Falls, we should go there for an episode one of these days.”

“I’d love to do that, it looks like a beautiful place to visit.” Shane agreed. “Are you sure you wanna do that though? It seems like the place is crawling with haunted cabins and bears.”

“Well, one could argue this entire series is about me conquering my fears, so… Why not?”

[janthecrow]

your larry headcanons.

hand em over.

i mean you already know all of my larry hcs but i’ll put them anyway XD

Larry hcs:

-Demiromantic and Polyamorous

-Is actually very flexible (literally look at his limbs as a lamp you can’t tell me that he isn’t-) and he has accidentally scared everyone more than once while stretching

-Secretly has dark brown hair but he dyes it blue bc some of the others have hair that is naturally a cool color or whatever (like Carnet or Lucy) so he wanted to look cool and decided to dye his hair before he moved in (the others only saw him as a lamp at the time so they didn’t know his natural hair color is brown, he did tell his partners later on tho and they’re trying to convince him to not dye it anymore since it can be damaging)

-College dropout, he couldn’t keep up with paying for the tuition since he didn’t have any family members or anything to help him with money

-Speaking of family! He’s actually an orphan, he was dropped off at an orphanage as a baby and sadly was never adopted for whatever reason so by the time he turned 18 he left to live on his own

-He didn’t like the orphanage either since they kinda just did the bare minimum of taking care of him n stuff, plus the other kids would make fun of him a lot for whatever reason so he would just keep to himself

-He has moth wing tattoos on his back to cover up some scars/birthmarks that he didn’t like, you could still see them a little but he didn’t mind it too much, he liked how it turned out anyway (i’m debating whether or not i should give him some other tattoos idk tho-)

-Despite the fact that he has the ability to enter people’s dreams he can’t even have his own dreams, he got the ability maaaaybe around early middle school or something- maybe elementary school- idk yet but yeah he doesn’t remember the last time he had an actual dream bc for years after getting the ability he just looked at everyone else’s dreams

-In the dream world all of the dreams are in the form of clouds with little decorations to indicate who that dream belongs to and they’re also kept in one of those classic red and white circus tents, it’s basically empty besides the dreams there, he also has little sheeps in that world that he takes care of

-Since the dream world and the imaginary world (the one where the puppets live) are connected he sinks into the cloud floor of the dream world to visit Grady and the others!

-When you boop his nose his lampshade, eyes, and mouth light up! And when he’s flustered when they’re lit up the light turns pink!

-Has stars in his eyes, they turn dull depending on how sad/upset he is and when he’s flustered or feels love they turn from yellow to pink!

-Has a pendant that lights up whenever he uses his oil powers

-Has a sickness that causes him to v*m*t oil and have it leak out of his eyes so he has to take medication for it

-Was actually a bartender a couple years before being hired by Roy! He sometimes makes (nonalcoholic) drinks for his partners too :]

-Has stars that follow him around, he’s one of the few people that can hear them! To everyone else it just sounds like twinkling/ringing. It can get very overwhelming at times and it’s been a long while since he’s had true silence

-Has a bunch of pet fishes and he also has a dog named Zero! He found him in a box at an alleyway and decided to take him in!

-His partners had to convince him to go to therapy bc oh boy this guy needs a lot of it-

-Trying to cut back on his drinking (he actually started doing it bc of his childhood n other stuff)

-Stargazes with space person (trying to think of a name for them atm) and also has a polaroid camera to take pictures of the sky!

-Sees Stanley and Finn (Steak and Fridge) as father figures since he never had one and even called them ‘Dad’ by accident a couple times and gets embarrassed by it even though they said that it’s okay

-Likes to give Shrignold and Saxon wing kisses bc yes,,

-His room is usually messy and he also has those plastic glow in the dark stars on his ceiling

i think that’s all of them jfc-

[vandrawsing]

Assigning sharks to very minor characters has been my go to day dream for the past week. Someone needed to have a goblin shark so I went with des voeux because he's a rat goblin man so it fits. AB Charles Best gets a porbeagle shark because it has big black eyes that have a striking resemblance to best with his big black goggles and I love it. Dundy in my opinion gets maybe a requiem shark like the silvertip shark because I associate requiem sharks with power chain of command or otherwise or maybe a leopard shark because it's named after a big cat and dundy had a cheetah. OR dundy could have a different species of thresher shark, hear me out, the common thresher sharks latin name is Alopias vulpinus and dundy is a silver fox plus he and ned are linked together in the last episodes with dundy soft mutinying neds plans to get the captain and to leave the sick.

Anon I love this ! @shark-from-the-park and I have also been talking about goblin sharks, though our pick has gone to Dr Stanley ! (and a frilled shark for McDonald to keep with the deep water theme, and we have a few strong contenders for Goodsir). All your picks for Dundy are so interesting and if you favour one in particular i'd love to hear more ^^ i think there's something to be said about silvertip shark >>silver fox dundy as well because it is anr i quote, "sleek, handsome, flashy and silvery"

Also i had no recollection of charles best but i do agree the porbeagle sunglasses connection is definitely there 😎

[beauregard-s]

Sharing (Bill D. x Reader x Eddie K.)

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x Reader x Eddie Kaspbrak (All of them are 18+)

Word Count: 7k (I’m so sorry)

Warnings: Lots of NSFW material. Includes M/F/M threesome, fingering, oral (fem and male receiving), and unprotected sex. Also includes a bit of a Voyeur!Bill Denbrough and a lot of Dom!Bill Denbrough. And, of course, cursing and dirty talking.

A/n: I don’t even know what to say about this one, but I HAD to write it. I’m kind of insecure, but very happy because I finished it after a long time. It’s huge, I know, I’m sorry lmfao

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I d-didn’t even get st-started, y/n...”

Bill kept acute attention on you and the fucked-out expression you had, his wrist down the waistband of your shorts, his hand inside your soaked panties, and his fingers tracing small circles over your aching clit. You held onto the counter behind your back so hard you could feel the numbness spreading through your hands. You felt the urge to clench your thighs together to get more of his touch, but Bill kept a knee between yours, his face so close his lips brushed against your cheeks and lips here and there. 

You felt like you were tip-toeing on your edge, everything he did plus de thrill of having all your friends right in the next room driving you there. You could even hear their voices in the living room while you and Bill were hidden in his kitchen. You loved forbidden things such as the fear of being caught, and Bill knew that pretty well. And shared it with you.

“Do you wanna c-c-cum, love? I can f-feel you already p-pulsing...” he muttered, teasingly dragging his middle finger up and down your slit, never inside you. “Yes, please...” You purred, eyes on those ice blue ones of his, biting down your lip whenever you felt the urge of moaning loud. Bill smiled down at you so sweetly it didn’t even look like he was torturing you like that. “You will, b-but not now”. That and the way he slowed down so his fingers were barely moving made you whimper and grind against him. Bill kissed your cheek like he was sorry for keeping you so denied like that, but you knew he wasn’t. He loved all of that, teasing and leaving you hanging there, hot for him, just to fuck you senseless on his bed later. He loved that, and so did you.

“You’re so not getting away with this, William Denbrough” you hissed, but that only made him laugh. “I very m-m-much d-doubt it, y/n y/l/n.” 

You smiled every time he’d say your name, simply because he never stuttered saying that. He pressed his whole hand against you and you gasped. He took in the chance of your parted lips to kiss you harshly like he always did. And you two could stay like that forever, but you heard a loud noise that made both of you freeze. 

You looked at the kitchen door and Eddie was standing there, widened eyes and a cup you supposed he had in his hands, now shattered on the floor. 

“I-I’m sorry, guys... Really. I’m so sorry. Fuck!”

And just as fast as all happened, he stormed out of there, while you were still smashed against Bill’s chest, his hand still inside your shorts and your lips raw from kissing. You looked back at each other and you saw his face turning red in embarrassment at the same time you felt your cheeks burning too. But then you both burst in laugher, finally parting away. “Damn, Bill, we scared the shit out of him” you tried to pull yourself together, adjusting your clothes, while Bill crossed the room to get a broom. “I b-b-bet ten b-bucks he will scold us about how unsanitary it is t-to touch ourselves in a k-kitchen. You b-better go and keep him from t-telling the others”.

Bill stayed behind to clean the broken glass and you made your way to the living room, ready to be the target of every sexual line of Richie for the rest of the year as soon as Eddie gossiped about what he just saw, but when you approached the rest of the Losers, they’re shit-talking about Bowers around the Monopoly board on the coffee table. 

“Holy shit, y/n! Where is Bill?” Stan, the banker, fizzed. “Does he wanna buy Park Place or...?”

You frowned at them, surprised you didn’t get the mocking you were expecting. You read each of them, from Beverly sipping on her juice to Mike tapping his cards on the board, and they all seemed unaware. “I don’t know. I think he won’t, he’s almost bankrupted...” Your eyes then landed on Eddie automatically, sitting on his spot at the couch because he didn’t like to sit on the floor, looking nervous as heck. 

His eyes didn’t meet yours, he seemed even more embarrassed than you felt that moment and it made you feel bad. You just didn’t know what was going on. You knew Eddie was kinda... Naive. He once hooked up with a girl at the homecoming and the boys kept making fun of that for months, but that was all he had in his history. You started worrying that you made him too uncomfortable, and now he was grossed out or something. 

As soon as you took your seat again, Bill stepped into the room and, perceiving the ignorance in the air, he raised an eyebrow at you. You just shook your head as Stanley scuffled at him about the Park Place slot.

**

“What the hell happened earlier?” you asked, pulling your top down on you.

Bill sighed and shifted between the sheets, only covered by the fabric once he refused to get up with you. His sleepy voice made you smile, the sight of his bare chest flaunting some hickeys made you shiver. “You t-talking about...?”, “Eddie, Bill. I’m talking about Eddie.” you said, softly. “I mean, after he saw us he was just sitting there, deadly silent. Then he claimed bankruptcy ten minutes later and ran back home”. 

Your boyfriend Denbrough rested his arm under his head and looked at you, narrowing his eyes. “I just ate you out until you screamed, and you were t-t-thinking about Eddie? S-seriously, y/n?”. Yes, he was right and you still felt your knees weak, but he laughed it off and shook his head right after. “I d-don’t know, love... He seemed k-kinda stressed. You’re worried ab-b-bout him, aren’t you?”. You shrugged, sitting down on the bed to put on your beaten converses. “Yes... I mean, Eddie is so high-strung... I just didn’t want to annoy him so much with something so silly. I love him.”

You and Eddie had known each other for years. Not as long as he knew Bill, but still, you had a strong bond. He and Bill met when they were just six, you joined the party when you all were ten. He was the one who you first confessed to being in love with Bill, in the first place. And he was the one who advised you on telling Bill himself. 

“And he loves you too, b-babe.” Bill sat up and scooted closer, his lips meeting the crook of your neck from behind. 

You raised a brow at his tone. 

“What?” “No, I m-mean... Don’t tell m-me you never noticed.” You spun around so you were facing him. Bill looked serious, although a tiny smirk danced on his lips. “Oh, you d-didn’t...” “I didn’t what, exactly, William?”. He laughed at your anxiety. “Y/n, m-m-maybe Eds is head over heels f-for you.” You tilted your head while he kept an eye on your reaction. “No,” you said. “You can b-bet your sweet ass.”

**

Of course the next days felt weird. 

There was definitely something wrong with Eddie Kaspbrak. He’d evade away somedays, making up excuses so he wouldn’t hang out with the group, and when he showed up you noticed how distant he was from you. Bill could keep better with all of this, he was brave enough to talk to Eddie like nothing happened, but you weren't. You were that one kind of person that, when things went wrong, would step back afraid of making it worse. 

So it was what you did. You stepped back and let time solve things.

It took two weeks before Eddie made it to the Clubhouse again. You were laying on the couch, Bill’s arm around you as you had your back against his chest. Bev was sitting right in front of you, at the hammock, while you and Richie made fun of their kiss in the third grade. 

“Don’t be such a prude, Billiam.” Richie teased, walking in circles and messing with Stan’s Rubik's Cube. “He’s not a prude. I don’t know why he’s blushing so much,” you said softly as Bill rolled his eyes. “That’s okay, we kissed when we were kids and I passed the baton to y/n.” Bev laughed and you two shared a playful wink. Richie scoffed, “Good friends share, honey. That’s what they say.” You laughed along with the others when Bill looked down at you, as red as a cherry, but grinning. “Y’all should j-j-just shut the fuck up -” but he got cut off when the trapdoor swung open and Stan went down through it, bringing Eddie. 

“What kind of sickness are you guys humming about?” Stan asked casually. “Heard something about sharing from up there... Fuck off, Richie!”

Stan slapped the cube off Richie’s hands, fingers moving fast, trying to fix the mess, while Eddie moved around looking for a seat. His eyes inevitably drifted over you and you felt that weird embarrassment again. Your legs were occupying the free spot at the couch, your dress tucked in between your thighs so you wouldn’t show your underwear around. You immediately sat up, making room for him, and, with no choice, Eddie walked over and fell by your side.  

“We were just stating that good friends sometimes share stuff, like y/n and I shared Bill.” Bev said and you chuckled over Stan’s expression of disbelief. “You didn’t share, Bill. You can’t call a peck during third-grade sharing.” Richie whistled. “Now we are talking? What do you mean by sharing, Staniel? Don’t be shy, elaborate!”

Stan didn’t even hesitate, leaning against a wood column.

“Threesome”.

The word fell like a bomb. At least it hit you like that. 

Beverly was laughing and Richie was delighted with the dirty path that talk went through. You could feel Bill softly chuckling against you while his fingers grazed your arm. You didn’t understand how could he remain so relaxed over a subject like that when you could feel yourself blushing hard to it. You were not a prude, but now you felt like.

“Yeah, that’s some good stuff...” Richie cooed. “Bev and y/n/n on Big Bill...”

“Beep beep, Richie!” You called out. 

“Oh, I can see you getting redder than a tomato, y/n! Tell us all, are you fond of the idea, or Bill doesn’t like sharing you much?”

“Richie, I swear to God...”

“I’d share you.” Bill said, softly. And he didn’t stutter at all. You looked up at him, dry swallowing your soul, but he kept the cool look and didn’t glance back.

Now even Stan had looked up at you and Bill from his cube and you all stayed silent over some good seconds before Richie broke the ice. ”Well, in this case, y/n, dear, your favorite Trashmouth will always be here for you,” and blew you a kiss that made you laugh even though we were shocked. 

“...B-but I’d do it with someone who d-d-deserved her.” Bill completed.

Richie threw his hands in the air in surrender. “But I'm classified! I’m quite experienced in this shit!” Bev made herself comfortable at the hammock while your mind spun with the chaotic level of that talk. “Are you, Tozier? Tell us then” she teased. Richie nodded slowly, talking dreamily, “Amber Miller and Melanie... Melanie Something, in the bathroom at that guy Trevor’s party”. 

“No way!” Eddie finally hissed by your side, and you knew by his high-pitched tone you weren’t the only one uncomfortable there. “You can’t call it a threesome when one just sucked your dick while you kissed the other, because that’s all you did to those two, Richie!”

“Yeah?” Richie’s eyes widened even more behind his thick glasses “Tell us then, Eddie Bear, do you count chickening-out on fucking Greta Bowie as losing your virginity for real? Because if you don’t, I have fucking news for you, my good man!”

And that was it. The igniting point had been established. Eddie got up and disappeared up the trapdoor the fastest you had ever seen. “Richie...” Beverly hissed, but you didn’t stay to hear the lecture that was about to start. You glanced at Bill and he nodded, so you climbed the stairs out of there. 

The sun was already setting and the light through the trees had an orange tone when you spotted Eddie marching down the trail that’d lead him out of the Barrens. So you followed him and shouted for his name once. You knew he heard you, but he didn’t stop. “Edward Kaspbrak!” his full name would do it, and did. His pace became sloppy and he stopped, turning around to look at you. You stopped breathless at least eight feet apart from him, and the upset way he looked at you broke your heart in half.

“What? Yes, y/n, it’s true. I’m a fucking virgin and I didn't fuck Greta at the homecoming! I left her in her car and ran away! Happy?”

You frowned and shook your head. “No... I... To hell with Greta! What the fuck is happening to you?”. Eddie breathed out. "Nothing.” 

“I swear I’m gonna hit you...” You muttered. “You can’t even look me in the eye, Eddie. It’s been like that since...” 

”Since you s-saw me touching her.” You heard Bill’s voice cut you off from behind you. And he was there, looking at Eddie severely as he approached both of you. 

Eddie looked cornered somehow, and Bill didn’t want to turn things worse, so he also stood a few feet away from you. Not touching or anything. Eddie’s big brown eyes ran from you to Bill repeatedly and you saw his cheeks became flushed, although his jaw was clenched. “You’d not... It’s nothing.” 

“It’s something, yes. What was that? Did you... Did we gross you out that bad?” You grew the courage to ask. “No!” He denied it in a millisecond. “You didn’t gross me out, neither of you did...” 

“So what w-was it, Eddie? You c-can tell us anything, and you k-know that” Bill wooshed. 

Eddie sighed and shook his head. “I just... I’m sorry. What I saw in the kitchen, it was... Overwhelming”. 

You raised a brow. “Overwhelming?” 

“Yes,” he continued, talking fast as he always did, but in a low and mushy tone. “I don’t know why, but it was, I mean... I...” 

“E-Eddie?” Bill encouraged. 

“I have feelings for you!”

Eddie said that with his doe eyes looking directly into yours, and you felt your heart skip a beat. “I always had, y/n... I don’t know why. I’m sorry, Bill.” he whined.

The three of you remained silent for a while. You ruminated all of that, thinking about what Bill told you in his room days before. “I-I already k-knew it, Eds.” Bill’s voice sounded calm, but you didn’t look at him. You looked back directly at Eddie. “It’s not like I’m jealous of you guys, really. I was and am happy you are together because you love each other. And I love both of you. Please, Bill, don’t be mad.”

You looked for Bill’s reaction and caught him shrugging slightly. “It’s okay, E-Eddie. It really is...”

Bill was never too jealous of you. Of course, his dominant traces would make him act up when guys hit too hard on you, but he never seemed to care about Richie’s jokes, or about how close you were to the other Losers. He was very protective, but not jealous. Maybe that was why he was so cool about it while you were panicking? 

He was just standing there, hands on his pockets. You were absolutely weak for the way he most of the time looked so put together although the world was falling apart, but sometimes his bravery turned into some dangerous lack of rational fear. Like now. 

“I wasn’t grossed, nor jealous, I promise. I’m sorry, y/n.”

Your eyes ran back to Eddie and his fists had relaxed, his lips parted. You could clearly see his freckles over his blush and that, somehow, gave you butterflies inside. He didn’t have his fanny packs anymore, but seconds before you swore he could draw his inhaler out of his front pocket any time soon. Now he just seemed pacified. 

“That’s okay” You assured. “It was not your fault, Eddie” The soft smile he gave you warmed you from the inside and you couldn’t help but smile back. 

“You b-b-broke down, didn’t you? When you s-saw her that way?” You almost punched Bill for saying that when you were trying to fix things up, but there was no need. Almost immediately, Eddie whispered a soft “Yes.”

"And t-that’s okay. You’re attracted t-to her. I’m cool with it. Y/n?”

Bill called out your name, but you were frozen while your thoughts ran wildly. You out of nowhere recalled things such as your first fall off a bike, and how Eddie took care of the scratches and cuts on your knees and hands. Or how he used to tease your while y’all played chicken fight at the quarry. He didn’t change much from those times. He was about your height now, still all about polo shirts and the warmest eyes you ever saw. 

“Me too. Totally.” You mumbled.

Eddie seemed relieved judging by the sweet smile he had on. “Nice...” he said, motioning towards the trail “But I’m gonna head home anyway. It’s getting dark and I swear I’m gonna punch Richie in the face if I see him.”

You all muttered ‘see ya’s, and Eddie turned around and resumed his way through the trail. You cursed under your breath and when you heard Bill laughing by your side, you couldn’t help but shove his arm. “Hey! W-what was t-that?” “You’re laughing!” “C-c-course I am! You should see how p-perturbed you look n-now. It’s k-kinda funny!”

You gave Bill a deadly look, but that didn’t completely stop him from laughing. “C-come on, y/n. I k-know you reciprocate him...”Bill said quietly. You wouldn’t deny it. You couldn’t because your heart was raced after hearing Eddie saying all of that, what meant that denying it you’d be lying to your boyfriend, and you’d never do that. "I love you, Bill” it scaped pass your lips, making him scoot closer. “I k-know you d-do. I love you t-too, y/n. And there’s n-nothing wrong with you b-being attracted to Eddie too.” And you knew he was being honest simply by the way his blue eyes met yours.

**

What happened in the woods soothed Eddie down and he was finally opened with you and Bill again. Even more, you would say. 

You didn’t know why, but now it felt like the three of you shared some kind of bond. You were happy that Eddie was stuck to you again, but you felt kinda troubled, though not in a bad way. 

Since that day at the Barrens your mind would throw you images about things you knew you shouldn’t think about. You caught yourself daydreaming sometimes, stuff you considered dirty and beyond limits. You constantly remembered Eddie’s sweet smile or Bill’s hungry looks over you. And, for your disgrace, you started thinking a lot about them together. 

You tried to bury it inside you the deepest you could, but even your dreams at night started to create scenarios that’d torment you.

And Bill somehow knew what was going on.

He was the one who always knew how to read you the best and after you were together, he just got deeper under your skin. He saw it all coming since the day in the kitchen, only by the way you worried so much about Eddie rejecting you and him, or by the way you started getting all flustered whenever the three of you would share the backseat side by side in Stan's car and you were too close to both of them at the same time.

That was why he started pushing your buttons here and there to see what you were made of. Casually leaning more against you so you were squeezed between him and Eddie, and playfully joking about the whole situation when you were alone, until the day you were both at your empty house, locked in your bedroom. You were laying down, moaning his name softly while he had two fingers moving inside you and his lips sucking your clit. Bill held you down and still, firmly, with his arm around your hips when he pulled away to look at your spacy pleasured face, fingers still pumping slowly. 

“So wet for m-me, love... Bet Eddie would love t-the sweet taste of yours just as m-much I do...”

You looked down at him in astonishment, but your body betrayed you, what made Bill smirk ear-to-ear. “I c-can even feel you tightening around m-my fingers...” “Bill...” you whined. “You’re imagining it n-now, aren’t you? Laying against m-my chest while I hold your soft t-thighs apart for Eddie to lick your p-pretty pussy until you c-cum on his lips...”. 

That was too much to take. You could perfectly picture Eddie’s eyes on you, feel how gently his tongue would feel while Bill’s strong hands held you on your place for him. The thought made you go over your edge instantly, and you felt your legs tremble as you came on Bill’s fingers, crying out in pleasure. You felt him chuckling when he started kissing your lower stomach as your climax faded. “What the hell, Bill?!” you panted, hitting his shoulder lightly. “Y-you came so fast to t-the thought, holy f-fuck, y/n...”. You knew he wasn’t angry. He sounded delighted, to be fair, and when he rested his chin on your ribs, looking at you, his cocky smile confirmed that but didn’t keep you from feeling ashamed. 

“You’re awful” you mumbled, covering your face with your hands, but he just pulled them way, properly getting on top of you and pinning your wrists down to each side of your head. 

“We c-could... Share, you know?” he suggested, raising his eyebrow at you underneath him. “Like Stan s-said.”

You bit down your lip for a moment. “It’d be some huge plumper if I told you I didn’t think about it nor even once.” You said, and Bill’s eyes grew dark. “I f-fucking knew it. You’ve b-been fantasizing about us t-together.” “Yeah.” You went straight to the point because something about him pining you down like that had you completely vulnerable. 

“D-do you want it?”  

“Yes... Do you?

Bill only grinned and leaned in to kiss you.

**

As the spring slowly turned into summer, the days were warmer and brighter. On that one, specifically, you were sitting on Bill’s desk in a dark green sundress, shuffling a deck of cards in your hands. Eddie was sitting at the edge of the bed, right in front of you, leaning into an old comic book in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. 

You could tell he wasn’t actually reading, not when every now and then his head would buck up a bit. You knew he was looking at you from under his lashes. Once your dress ran up your thighs when you sat down, a lot of skin was exposed for him to look at. It was not on purpose, but you didn’t mind fixing it anyway. 

It’s not like things between you got much heated after Bill gave you the green light, but you just couldn’t repress your will that much anymore, and neither could Eddie. Nor Bill. The truth is you were already fantasizing about Eddie after the Barrens thing, and now it just exploded inside you, and sometimes you cursed to yourself because all you could think was about being taken by him and Bill on the same bed, at the same time. And you knew Bill shared the idea, he had already shown you that he wanted it as much as you did, teasing you and making up dirty scenarios to torture your imagination.

The problem lied on Eddie. 

He was so tense when it came to... Stuff like that. You knew that he probably wouldn’t accept well the idea of the... Sharing. So you kept it to yourself and Bill, although you couldn’t help the mutual staring contest between you and the Kaspbrak boy anymore.

“Okay, Richie’s not c-c-coming.” Bill stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, interrupting the mute sexual tension. 

“Holy shit, Eddie, can’t you two just stop with all the bickering already?” you chuckled, placing the cards down by your side, once it seemed like you wouldn’t be able to play with only three heads there. Instead, you grabbed the Coke you were casually sipping on.

“Huh, no!” He sat up straight. “Richie was an asshole saying what he said that day, and I don’t take back the promise of beating him up next time he appears in front of me”. 

Bill walked over the chair next to you and sat down kinda sideways, his hand casually resting on your thigh while he still could face Eddie. 

“E-Eddie, really. We all d-don’t give a f-fuck about the Greta thing...” Eddie tossed the comic aside, starting to blush. “Yeah? Because it didn’t happen to any of you! Y’all are just outta there, fucking like rabbits”. 

You choked on your soda while Bill tilted his head back, bursting in laughter. 

“Eddie, dear, really... You didn’t feel like having sex with her, jeez! And you were right in the end. She’s... Greta Bowie.” you puckered your nose. 

“I chickened out, y/n!” 

“Y-you didn’t desire her. T-that’s okay, Eddie. C-calm down!”

You felt Bill’s hand going further on your flesh, squeezing lightly, and you noticed Eddie’s eyes following his moves for a while, almost hypnotized. 

“Eddie?” you called. “It’ll do anytime... Just relax”. He shook his head slowly. “I don’t know...” 

Bill relaxed back on the chair. “W-why is that?” 

“It’s not like I feel hot for a lot of girls around here, Bill.”

Eddie’s eyes met yours right away, and none of you stepped back this time until he looked at Bill with the same intensity. Bill’s hand drifted dangerously closer to your heat now, lifting your dress all the way up to your hips. 

“B-but you do feel turned on b-by y/n” Bill didn’t ask, he stated.

“Yes...” Eddie confirmed.

Bill smirked at you and his hand was out of the game. 

“Of c-course, look at her,” he said, softly. “Isn’t she b-beautiful, Eddie?”

You tried to act cool like wetness wasn’t already pooling inside your panties due to the hungry way Bill looked at you. So, you just wrapped your lips around the straw, sipping on your Coke once more. Eddie almost choked when you did.

“Stunning...” he muttered.

“Should see when I f-fuck her senseless on t-t-this desk.” Bill whispered.

Eddie’s eyes trailed down your body now, like you caught him doing so many times before. You knew he desired you, and the growing bulge you could see inside his pants just confirmed the facts.

At your right side, Bill was casually sitting on his chair, smirking and looking from Eddie to you, from you to Eddie. 

Right at your front, Eddie seemed to be breathing heavily. 

You had a wolf and a lamb. And you fucking wanted both.

So you took your turn. You put the half-empty bottle aside, on the desk, and hopped off it, walking over to the bed, where Eddie was sitting very stiffened. You put each of your knees by his sides, straddling him. You could feel him immediately under you when you settled down on his lap, probably hard and aching judging by the way he whined quietly under his breath feeling your hips against his. 

“Eddie?”

“Mm?”

“Let me be your first” you whispered looking at him, faces inches away. “Let us be your first” you corrected, looking now at Bill. 

Bill had darkened eyes in arousal watching to that, while Eddie had his hooded ones on you, hands going for your hips. You could spot the difference, Bill’s touch was firm, took you over completely, but Eddie’s was so damn soft like he was deeply afraid of hurting you somehow. 

“Do you want that?” He whispered back and you smiled. As an answer, all you did was to let your lips brush against his, a soft peck that was enough to make your heart speed up.

When you pulled away Eddie seemed stunned. Both of you immediately turned for Bill, and he had a blank turned on expression you loved. You could already see the outline of his hard cock inside his pants as he palmed it through the fabric.

“Holy f-fuck.” he mumbled, in pure bliss.

You bit down your lips, or else you’d moan right there to that view of him. And you could tell Eddie felt the same by the way he shifted under you. 

Bill got up and walked closer, he pulled back a few hair strands that fell on your face, fingers brushing against the skin of your shoulder like a permission for something. You glanced back at Eddie and he was not able to hold it back anymore.

You melted into Eddie because kissing him felt better than what you thought it’d be. His lips were soft and he kissed you slowly, one hand now running through your hair. You could hear Bill’s groans next to you as he sat down by Eddie’s side and next thing you know is that they were switching places and Bill’s lips were on yours. Eddie was now focused on kissing down your neck, making you shiver as Bill had a hand on your waist and his tongue dominating yours. Soon enough you were down onto the mattress.

You were soaked, and the way they kept exchanging places all over you only made it worse. You had Eddie’s loving kisses, then Bill’s intense ones, then Eddie’s again. That was wrecking your sanity. 

You were pressed in between them, feeling Bill grinding against you from behind, and grinding on Eddie’s thigh once he had a leg between yours, his lips now going for your jawline.

“Holyshit, y/n, holyshit...” he kept whispering, what made Bill chuckle against your shoulder when he nibbled there.

You felt your boyfriend’s tentative fingers going for the little tie on your waist that kept your dress around your body, and you quickly made the first move, pulling Eddie’s shirt over his head. Bill somehow managed to untie your dress and it unfolded off you. You shivered under the thin air, and under Eddie’s heart eyes to your now almost naked figure kind of underneath him.

“As I-I said, Eddie,” Bill’s hand now caressed your hips, playing with your panties' waistline, “b-beautiful...”

Eddie breathed heavily and you felt your cheeks burning pleasantly, his eyes running down your body as he pulled some inches away to look better at you. 

“Can I touch you, y/n/n?”

You couldn't help but chuckle at how amazed he sounded. “Of course you can, Edward,” you rolled your eyes playfully before taking his hand and guiding it closer. “I want you to.”

You placed his hand in between your breasts and his breath hitched again. Bill moaned quietly, spooning you while watching as his best friend run his touch down your stomach and up again to gently grope one of your breasts. 

You reached behind and slid a hand down Bill’s unbuckled jeans, finding him fully hard and, when you wrapped your fingers around him, he groaned again and sought for your touch. You felt him exhaling against your neck when you traced your thumb around his precome wet tip.

Eddie had his attention split between your body and Bill’s probably very pleased expression, and suddenly he leaned in and took a nipple of yours between his lips, sucking it gently. “Fuck, Eddie...” Bill sounded amazed, and all you could do was let out a not-so-quiet moan.

Eddie sucked and licked each of your breasts and you clenched around nothing, that sweet tension building in your lower abdomen. You ran your fingers through his hair and felt the strawberries scent of his shampoo while leaning back to reach Bill’s peppermint tasting lips. Bill pulled your thighs slightly apart, only enough for his hand to fit in between, his fingertips tracing your clothed slit’s contour, making you roll your hips and moan against him.

You had your nails scratching lightly down Eddie’s chest, feeling his lips going further and further, all the way down your chest and all over your belly. The unexpected contact of his teeth on a spot of your waistline made you whimper loud into Bill’s kiss.

“Holy fuck...” you moaned, and Bill grinned, pulling his hand out of the way. 

“E-Eddie?” Eddie hummed in response, looking up. “D-Do you want t-to t-taste her?”

“Yes, please... I mean, do you want me to, y/n/n?”

You nodded, unable to form words to his doe eyes looking up into yours, fingers lingering over your underwear as he was dying inside to take them off. He smiled and Bill left his spot, pulling himself to sit up against the headboard. He quickly got rid of his shirt and patted down the place between his legs. You crawled into his arms, falling back against his chest, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you. Eddie scooted closer and gently pulled your panties off, then Bill splattered his hands on your inner thighs, keeping them apart so Eddie could lay in between them.

The view alone was enough to make you falter and it just got worse when Eddie immediately leaned down on you, dragging his tongue all the way up from your slit to your clit. You moaned, letting your head fall back on Bill’s shoulder as he kissed the sweet spot on your neck that was enough to weaken your knees. You could hear him hissing lowly, probably eagerly watching Eddie eating you out. You’d eye down at him occasionally, but most of the time you could only close your eyes, feeling that agonizing pressure growing inside of you as Eddie’s tongue and lips worked their way. Bill whispered here and there, telling him to go slower or lighter and you knew the bastard was trying to delay you, instructing Eddie to lick you only enough to make you hover your edge.

“Eddie, please...” you whimpered, looking down at him sucking lightly on your clit. Bill echoed by your ear. “G-go ahead, Eds. M-make her cum.”

He sucked harder, tongue then swirling faster and rougher through your folds. He immediately made you come undone on his mouth, your hands pulling the sheets while Bill shushed you.

“Shit, I want to fuck you so bad...” 

You smiled at Eddie’s low muttering, sure you looked pretty fucked out now, still panting and clenching alone.

“Do you want me to ride you, Eds? Just like I ride Bill?” you teased.

He nodded frenetically coming up to kiss you, letting you taste yourself through his lips. You perked up and turned slightly to kiss Bill now. 

“Let me suck you too, please?” You begged against his lips. Bill’s blue eyes smirked at you in the dirtiest way that made you bit down your lip. “Always, b-babe.”

You were nervous about that, but the three of you seemed to coordinate just perfectly. Bill stood up by the side of the bed and kept a hand through your hair while you pulled his jeans and underwear down. He kicked them aside as you wrapped a hand around his cock, pumping it a few times before turning for Eddie. 

He laid down next to where you were sitting and got rid of his pants. He looked fidgety when it came to him being so exposed to you and Bill, but when you straddled his hips it seemed to vanish away from his thoughts. 

You also expected to feel flustered in the middle of all of that, but it was the complete opposite. You had Eddie under you, his little grunts filling your ears as your pussy brushed against his hard cock, and Bill standing up next you, his thumb contouring your lips right before you suck on it.

You felt amazing. 

Bill always made you feel like the most beautiful and desired woman on Earth, but that was different. That was a whole new level.

You slowly lowered yourself on Eddie, guiding him into you and feeling him stretching you out since he was more on the thicker side, while Bill had more length. He howled while every inch of him slid into your warmness, his fingers digging into your hips. 

“Fuck, y/n, feeling so good...” 

 You stayed still for a moment, feeling dizzy and adjusting to him as Bill ran his fingers through your hair. You went for his cock, fingers around its base when you caught his wet tip between your lips, making him groan and throw his head slightly back. 

You took Bill deeper into your mouth at the same time you started to softly bounce up and down on Eddie. You didn’t know how, but you managed to set up coordinate paces to please both of them, hearing their groaning and cursing filling the room. The smooth sound of your hips against Eddie’s, alongside the slippery one of you lightly choking around Bill was the most sinful thing you ever heard.

You found out you loved it way too much.

“Such a g-good g-girl, y/n/n. So g-good for us, b-babe” Bill praised, looking down at you fucking one of his best friends. You were clenching so tightly around Eddie, making him moan out loud, grabbing handfuls of your ass as he watched you sucking Bill so skillfully. 

Your legs started to weaken, so Eddie thrust up into, and you suddenly reached your high again. You moaned around Bill’s cock and the way he kept his hips from thrusting into your mouth was enough for you to know he was holding himself back. Eddie, on the other hand, kept fucking into you through your peak and a few moves later, when you pulled away from Bill for a sec, he released inside you. Eddie’s eyes shut closed as he came, his lips parting while you still moved your hips slightly around.

"Holy fuck, holy fuck...” he kept humming. 

You looked up at Bill and no words were needed. You slid down to Eddie’s side just for Bill to come for you, pulling your legs up and apart, pressing your thighs against his chest while the slid into you giving no time for adjustment. You still felt Eddie’s cum inside when Bill started to pound against, hard and deep, making you whimper due to how sensitive you felt now.

Didn’t take long until you earned yourself another orgasm, this time around Bill, just a few thrusts before he groaned loudly and pulled off, coming all over your thighs. All of that while Eddie still breathed heavily by your side and grinned at both of you. Your whole body trembled when Bill left you and fell onto the bed. The three of you just stayed like that, laying side by side, panting and occasionally cursing under your breaths. 

“Y/n/n, are you okay?” You heard Eddie whispering by your left.

You couldn’t help smiling to the ceiling hearing the sweet worried tone of his.

“Totally okay, Eddie Spaghetti.” You answered, and Bill laughted by your right side. “What about you? Are you okay?”

You tilted your head just in time to see him rolling his eyes at the nickname he hated so much, but still, he smiled back at you. 

“More than okay. Bill?”

You turned at him now, and he had his eyes closed and a satisfied smirk on his lips.

“Am-m-mazing.” he said, peacefully.

You chuckled at his expression and sat up, looking around for your forgotten dress and underwear. “W-what are you d-doing?” Bill mumbled and you recognized the sleepy post-sex tone of his. “Gotta clean up, I'll be right back.” 

You grabbed your clothes and walked over to the door. You peeked outside for a moment, but the quiet hallway indicated the house was still empty, so you made your way to the bathroom. You didn’t mind closing the door while you leaned back against the sink and cleaned Bill’s cum off your inner thighs with a smirk on your face, trying your best to pull yourself together even if you still felt Eddie’s inside you and your legs trembled way too much.

You slid your panties on again and put on the dress again, tying it tightly around your waist. When you turned to face the mirror, you had messed up sex hair, kiss-bruised lips, red cheeks, and some slightly red marks all over your neck and chest that you couldn’t tell who they belonged to. 

“D-did we mess you up t-t-too much?”

Bill appeared at the doorway when you were running your fingers over a fresh hickey right under your collarbone, pulling his shirt down his head, pants on again. You smiled softly, approaching him. 

“Just the perfect amount.”

Bill smiled down at you, pushing back some hair strands of yours before kissing you softly, just the way he’d kiss you after you two had pretty rough sex. When you parted away, Eddie was leaving Bill’s bedroom, buckling his pants up, his whole face still red.

He looked up at you and Bill, and you all stared at each other for a while, before bursting in laughter. You went for him and said nothing before scooting closer and kissing him too, a sloppy kiss while he smiled against your lips, hands on your waist. 

When you pulled away, he scratched the back of his head, looking even more flustered than before, but blissful.

"Y'all swear the others won't hear about what happened here." He said.

"Never!" You and Bill answered in unison and he went ahead. "It'll b-be our secret, E-Eds."

That made your grin mischievously at both of them, already very fond of the soreness you were feeling between your thighs cause you knew you'd feel it more from that day on. You walked past Bill, to the stairs, your stomach roaring lowly. 

You could hear Eddie muttering to Bill as they followed you downstairs. "Although I'd pay to see Richie's face if he heard about our Sharing." 

[multi-fandom-writer]

Not Planned - Tom Holland

Masterlist

word count: 1.8k warnings: little bit of angst if you look hard enough

Six months. You and Tom had been trying for a baby for six months. When it felt hopeless and you two were ready to give up, a little plus finally appeared on the stick. Tom could not have been more ecstatic about it, either. Whenever possible, his hands drifted down to your stomach to draw little patterns. Of course, he always looked at you for permission first. He knew you were excited too, but he was also very familiar with your mood swings.

You still remember telling Tom about the pregnancy. You decided to get a shirt that said “Baby loading, eight months remaining” and surprise him one night before bed. He was just finishing brushing his teeth in your bathroom as you walked in wearing the shirt. He noticed you were wearing a new shirt at first, but didn’t take the time to notice it. In his usual fashion, he was oblivious to it until you pointed it out to him. You didn’t expect him to pick you up and spin you around like he did, but you were excited nonetheless. He was so ecstatic that he peppered your face in kisses and even fell to his knees to plant kisses all over your belly.

Since that night, Tom seemed much more attentive to you. He would get you water without another question and wouldn’t dare to fight with you over what the two of you would be having for supper. Even though he couldn’t be there in person all of the time, he would always call you and check in on you to make sure you were doing okay.

The first three months went by faster than you thought they would. Between the morning sickness that lasted all day, your ankles that were close to the size of Pluto, and your tummy that was just slightly swollen, you couldn’t wait to meet the little bundle of joy. Almost every morning of your first trimester, Tom was by your side holding your hair back. Most nights before bed, he would be there to give you a back rub. He didn’t even question your weird cravings. You knew that every woman’s stomach grew differently during pregnancy but you thought you were a little big for only being in the first trimester. Tom simply assured you that everything was okay, and you two would ask the doctor about it at the next appointment. 

Sometime in the second semester, baby Holland started preferring Tom’s voice over yours. More often than not, Tom would lay down between your legs at night and inch your shirt up just enough so he could see your bump. Both you and the baby would often fall asleep to Tom’s gentle voice and his soft kisses being littered all over your stomach. Tom also enjoyed resting his hand over your stomach to feel all of the little flutters from your healthy baby. 

Tom was overjoyed to learn that you two would be having a baby boy. Setting up the nursery was quite the adventure for the two of you. It took Tom and Harrison a total of five hours to finally put the crib together and put it in the room. And of course, Tom insisted that his little boy would have a Spiderman plushy, which you allowed. 

“What would you have done if our little peanut was a girl, Thomas?” you asked as he hugged you from behind in the doorway of the now completed nursery.

“Simple, I would have gotten her a Spiderman plushy,” he answered with a light chuckle, resting his hands over your large bump and planting gentle kisses over the side of your neck. As you melted into Tom’s warm grasp, he whispered, “are you as exhausted as I am, sweetheart?”

With a small nod, you spun around so you could rest your head on his chest. “Does a warm bath sound nice, darling?” Another nod as Tom lightly kissed the top of your head.

It wasn’t until near the end of your second trimester that one of the boys dared to point out how big you were getting. Poor Harrison happened to bring it up when you were tired and in a sour mood. By the time you were done yelling at him, which you did feel bad about later, you were almost certain he would be walking on eggshells around you at least until you gave birth. The other boys were definitely more cautious around you, too. Except for Tom, who was used to you being more irritable than normal.

At your next ultrasound though, Harrison happened to be right. At eight months, you and Tom learned that instead of one baby boy, you would be welcoming two sweet little boys into the world. The doctor explained that the second baby happened to be in just the right position to be hidden by the first baby and they must have moved around since the last ultrasound.

For the next month, you and Tom were running around like chickens with your heads cut off. Two babies meant twice the toys, twice the clothes, twice the diapers, and half the sleep. Both of you had your moments of utter excitement and complete pandemonium. Having one baby would have been a handful, but two? You both were in for quite the ride. 

Since the boys already figured out how to put the first crib together, this time it only took them two hours and they were quite proud of themselves when they were done. Not only did you let Tom to rest his hands on your stomach, but very rarely you allowed Harry, Sam, and Harrison to do it, too. After all, they deserved to feel the tiny humans moving around as well. Of the three of them, Harrison was definitely the most hesitant to ask you if he could; he was still a little scared of you from earlier in your pregnancy. 

Just two days after you got the second crib set up, your babies decided they were going to make an early appearance. You and Tom were having a movie night with the other boys when you felt a light cramping in your stomach. It wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle, but you became concerned when your lower back started to ache, too. 

“Tom?” you whispered, drawing his attention away from the movie. His hand was still resting firmly on your swollen stomach as he gave you a soft look. The poor boy had already been exhausted from the day and he was almost ready to pass out. Even though he looked like he could drop dead, he still perked up when he looked at you. “I think it’s time,” you whispered, this time a little more strained as what you could only assume was a contraction hit you. 

Tom instantly went into dad mode. It took him two minutes to find the keys and grab the hospital bag from your shared bedroom. When he had gotten back to the living room, you had barely managed to stand up from the couch. The two of you had gotten the attention from the other boys by this time. Tom hurriedly explained to them what was going on before he ushered you to the car and got you to the hospital. 

Fortunately, you were only in labor for five hours before you could hear the cries of your two baby boys. Tom was by your side the entire time, only slightly complaining about your vice like grip. After the delivery, Tom brushed your hair off your sweaty forehead and planted a kiss on the top of your head. “You did amazing, love. Our sons are beautiful,” he whispered, wiping your forehead with a cool cloth. “‘M so proud of you, sweetheart. I love you so much.”

A tired smile graced your lips at his encouragement. “Can I see them?” you asked, looking over to the sleeping babies. They were sleeping little angels right now. You only hoped that they grew up to be little angels. 

“Of course you can,” Tom answered, walking over and carefully picking up one of the peaceful babies. As he walked over to you, you noticed how small the baby was in Tom’s arms. You took your son from Tom and he went to get the other half of your twins. “What should we name them?” he asked, sitting down in the chair next to your bed.

“I like the name Theodore James,” you suggested, looking down at the small human cuddling into your chest. Tom’s eyes got wide as he looked at you. ‘Yes, I know Harrison’s middle name is James. It only seems right, Tom.”

He nodded quickly and looked down at the child in his arms. “What about Robert for this little guy?” he asked with a soft voice.

“I like that one. But he needs a middle name still,” you replied as Tom cooed at the yawning child. “I think it should be Stanley because he has his father’s looks,” you said. “Just look at those chubby cheeks,” you continued with a small chuckle. 

Your conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. Looking through the window, you saw a group of three smiling boys. You couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you motioned for them to come in. 

“Oh look at our adorable little nephews,” Sam cooed as he came into the room. “Have you decided on names yet?” he asked, watching Theodore cuddle further into you. 

“We have, actually,” you started, looking over to Harrison. “Come here, Haz.” As the tall blond boy hesitantly walked over to you, his eyes landed on the small child in your arms. You held out the baby to Harrison as you said, “This little guy is Theodore James Holland.”

You could see Harrison’s eye light up as he took Theo in his arms. “He’s so sweet,” Harrison whispered, starting to sway as the baby started whining a little. With a small lullaby from Harrison, Theo was already calmed down, now cuddling into Harrison’s warm body. “I love him already,” Harrison spoke softly as Theo yawned and fell back asleep. 

“What about this little guy?” Harry asked, carefully rocking the other baby.

“We decided on Robert Stanley Holland for that little guy,” Tom answered with a proud smile. As the boys were cooing over your newborn sons, you felt the sleepiness starting to wash over you. As you let your head fall to the side, your eyes landed on the first love of your life. “Get some sleep, beautiful momma. You deserve it, sweetheart,” Tom’s voice was soft as he pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead. Drifting off, you heard the boys talking about how Theo and Robert were going to be football and golf proteges.

“Yeah, Y/n always complained about little Theo being quit the footballer. She said his favorite thing to kick was her rib cage,” Tom spoke with a chuckle. You could only imagine the four men playing with your little boys as they grew up: teaching them football, getting them addicted to video games, introducing them to superheros, and so much more.

[mo12mo29]

Queen of Dreams  Chapter 3: First Words

Carla is babysitting Emma while the boys are out doing their own thing.

Notes: I honestly am a little salty with Carla after that one specific episode (not gonna say which one) so I am gonna do a little bashing on her. I'm also gonna add in a bit of Emma's point of view since she is a little older to the point where she can decipher whether she likes someone or not.

A year has gone by and Emma was already getting so big. She was only one and she already knew how to walk, thanks to Stanford teaching her. Stanley never thought he's see the day when his own twin squealing like a girl and jumping up and down in excitement when Emma first started taking her first steps. Stanley was excited too, but not as excited as Stanford was. He guessed that being accomplished in teaching a one year old how to walk brings out that kind of reaction. Today, Caryn and Filbrick were out of town, leaving Stanford and Stanley to take care of Emma. The boys still needed some help since their parents were gonna be gone for two weeks so they called their older brother Shermie, who came into town a month ago, and he said that he would come over to help out. He still had a few hour drive and the boys had to leave for their after school activities. Stanley had to go to boxing practice and Stanford had to go to his science club. Luckily, Stan's girlfriend, Carla said that she would babysit Emma for a while.

Which brings them to the present. Emma was playing on the floor with her toys while Carla was on the phone with one of her friends. If Emma was being honest with herself, she didn't really like Carla at all. Whenever she was around, she would take all of Stanley's attention, give her disgusted looks when she looks at Emma's hair, and say nasty things about her under her breath when no one is listening. Plus, Carla was no fun! She wouldn't even play with Emma whenever she came over! She would just brush her off and either flirt with Stan, or be on the phone all day. Tonight was gonna be even worse, while Emma was playing with a block, she heard Carla talking on the phone with someone, but the sound of the voice didn't sound feminine at all, it sounded like a male's voice.

"Yeah...Yeah, he's gone and they won't be back in an hour. Don't worry about the baby, she's only one, she's a dumb baby." 'Dumb baby'!?  Emma wanted to bite Carla's fingers off. She knew enough words to know that those words were insulted. Just because she was a baby it does not mean she was dumb.

"Be here in ten minutes, don't forget to bring the cigarettes okay? Love you." Woah, wait! A stranger is coming over!? Carla just invited a complete stranger over! Emma did not like the sound of a stranger coming in the house.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Carla picked Emma up from the floor, ignore Emma's struggle to get out of her hold, and went to open the door. There was a man with blond hair and looked close to Carla's age

"Tim, you're here!" Carla reached up and kissed him on the lips. Emma was confused. Why was Carla kissing another guy? Didn't she love Stan? When they parted, Tim looked at Emma and said,

"Carla, I don't feel comfortable smoking in front of a baby. Can't you put her in a crib in another room or something?"

"Oh, don't worry, it's about time for her to go to bed anyway." Carla said as she went upstairs, but it was difficult with Emma squirming and whining in her arms. Finally having enough, Carla just went into the room beside her and opened a closest door.

"Now listen here you little brat." She snarled as she placed Emma down into the closet, "You are gonna sit right here like a good little girl and stay quiet." After that, Carla slammed the closet door on Emma, leaving her in a tight dark space. Emma couldn't see a thing and it was frightening being in a dark place all alone. She stood up the best she could and placed her little hands on the door and started banging her hands on them as she cried out. But it did not seem like anyone was gonna hear her so the only thing she could do was sit and wait. She sat back down and sobbed quietly.

"I want my big brothers." She thought to herself.

After waiting in the dark for almost an hour, Emma was about to doze off when she suddenly heard a voice.

"Where's my sister!?" The voice sounded angry, angry and....familiar, wait...wasn't that?

"Stanny!"  Emma stood up and started banging on the closet door again. She stopped after her hands got sore. After a few minutes of silence she heard footsteps coming towards the closet. The door opened and once Emma adjusted to the light, she saw a face, a face she thought she would never see again.

"Emma! Are you okay!?" Stanley asked as he picked her up from the closet. Emma just clung to Stanley as she cried. Stanley started to inspect her for injuries, and saw that she has minor bruises on her tiny body that were possibly from all the objects pushing against her body. He also saw that her hands were a little red from banging on the door so much. Stan wanted to be pissed, but right now he had a sister to comfort. No doubt that being in the dark for so long in a tight space was not comforting to a one year old. With that, Stanley hugged her tightly and patter her back.

"I know, I know. What did she do to you? It will never happen again." Emma believed every word. She knew that she was safe

As it turns out, Stanley, Stanford, and Shermie all came home earlier and when Stanley saw Carla in the hands of another man, he was pissed at first, but then he realized that someone was missing. After he realizing that Emma was not present, everything about Carla was thrown out the window. He became angry for another reason Which lead them to the present, the guy that Carla was with left the house, which leaves Carla, Stanley, Stanford, and Shermie. Emma was in Stanley's arms, Shermie was lecturing Carla, and Stanford was off to the side, glaring at Carla.

"Carla, we are gonna call your parents and have them know what happened and we will be pressing charges." Carla looked at Shermie in disbelief.

"You can't do that! They'll never let me leave the house again, they might even force me to spend the night in jail!"

"Should have thought about that before shutting our sister in a closet for hours." Carla stared at Shermie for a second before turning to Stanley.

"Stan! You're just gonna let him do that to me!? Look, if this is about that guy, he's nothing." Stanley just gave Carla a cold look, then he scoffed.

"Carla, I am not your dad. I can't tell you who you can and can't be with and honestly, I don't care. What you did was crossing the line. As soon as you're gone, you better stay gone. I don't know what gave you the idea of stuffing a one year old in a closet. Emma's just a baby."

"So you're gonna just choose your sister over me?!" Carla shouted.

"Choose? Carla, I never had to choose because my sister was always gonna be important to me, she is always gonna be my number one gal because unlike you, she's loyal! Another thing, who smokes around a baby!? You could have gotten Emma sick! I want you out of our house, and out of my life because she-" Stanley pointed to Emma, who was hiding her face in his neck, "Is the only girl I need in my life." Tears were streaming down Carla's face as her eyes were wide with shock, then she turned and walked towards the door. When she opened it, she slightly turned.

"You're gonna end up a lonely man if you keep choosing your sister over everything." Stanley's scowl only deepened as he answered.

"Then I rather be a lonely man than be with someone who hurts my family." Seeing that he was done talking, Carla went out the door, her sniffling getting louder as she disappeared from view. It was silent in the house for a few minutes until Emma started crying again. Stanley patter her back as he tried to console her.

"Its okay Emma, big brother Stanny is here now." Suddenly, Stanley heard a small voice near his ear.

" 'tanny." Stanley's eyes went wide as he looked at Emma. He then looked at his brothers who both had the same look of shock on their faces. He looked back at Emma was was looking back at him.

"Emma, say that again." Emma tilted her head to the side in confusion for a second, "Come on Emma." Stanley then had a thought

"Wait, that's right, she'll probably want me to be specific."

"Emma, who am I?" Emma eyes brightened at Stanley's question and smiled.

" 'tanny." It almost sounded like Stanley's nickname, but without the 'S'.

"Stan, I think she's trying to say your name!" Stanford exclaimed. Stanley was silent, slightly shaking as tears of joy started to run down his face. He felt as if Emma was the only thing that mattered. As if she was the reason why his life is suddenly perfect. He was suddenly taken out of his thoughts when he saw that Shermie and Stanford were staring at him. He quickly wiped his eyes with his free arm and cleared his throat.

"Don't look at me like that! I wasn't crying, I just had dust in my eyes!" Shermie just smiled at him with a smug expression.

"Stan, Ford told me that you cried when you first saw her." Stanford only shrugged.

"I had to tell him, it was the first time you ever cried about something so small."

"Shut up!" Stanley exclaimed. Emma only giggled at the interaction, Stanley turned to face her.

"That didn't give you permission to laugh little missy." But that only made Emma giggle some more.

"Alright boys, that's enough. It's late, it's been a long day, and a certain little sister needs to get some sleep." Shermie said. But when he tried to reach out to take Emma out of Stanley's arms, she whimpered and clung tighter to Stan. It seemed like she didn't want to let her Stanny go.

"It's alright Shermie, I'll take her." Shermie nodded as Stanley took Emma upstairs to bed.

It took a while for Emma to stay in her crib, she kept fussing every time Stanley tried to put her down, but as soon as she fell asleep, Stan went into his shared room where he saw his twin take a five dollar bill out of his pocket. He then turned to Stan and gave it to him.

"A deal's a deal. You win." Stanley looked at the five dollar bill for a second, then he gave it back to Stanford.

"Keep it, I don't want it anymore." Stanford looked at his brother, confused.

"But Stan, the deal was-"

"The deal, doesn't matter anymore. I'm just glad our sister is safe.'"

"Even if it means losing your girlfriend?" Stanley scoffed.

"Oh please, after what she did. I don't even consider her my friend anymore. Honestly, my sister only showed Carla's true colors. No one hurts my sister and get's away with it. Karma will kick her in the butt later, and I will be laughing when that happens." Stanford looked at his twin in surprise. This was the first time he had heard Stanley say something so...mature. Having Emma around really changed him. She made him more compassionate on the outside then he was on the inside. Stanford smiled as he climbed up to his bed.

"Whatever you say, 'Stanny'." Stanley groaned as he sat on his bed.

"You are never gonna let me live that down are you?" Stanford only laughed

"When you get such a cute nickname from a cute baby, how can I?"

"Well knock it off, only Emma can call me that." And he meant it too.

[kingofthecon]

@femmechanceux

#1 "You know what rhymes with Bugaboo? Me and you." It was a pretty boring night of patrolling so naturally Chat Noir decided to fill the air with anything and everything just to keep them both entertained. His vibrant green eyes focused more on the task at hand - keeping an out for trouble - than they did on his partner, but when his eyes did meet her form for an extended period of time he couldn't help but grin. Running around Paris late at night with a lovely lady by his side helped him to forget about his life outside of costume. It helped his mind come up with all sorts of entertaining ideas which drove away all the reality shattering ones that came with common sense - one of the recent things being what'd happen when they finally defeated Hawk Moth. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that one day they would actually catch Hawk Moth slipping and manage to not only take him down and retrieve his Miraculous, but also learn his identity and lock him away forever, but what would come next? They wouldn't be able to keep their Miraculous anymore, would they? Sure there would still be crime left in Paris, but that could be handled by the officers of the law instead of vigilantes like them. What did that mean for his friendship with Ladybug? Would they just...no longer be able to see each other? No, that was stupid. Ladybug might not be interested in him because of her crush on someone from her life outside of the mask, but that didn't mean they couldn’t be friends. They'd make a way. "It's been a lot of times recently where it's just been me and you, and though I do love spending quality time with my leading lady, I can't help but wonder when the ball's going to drop. I don't want to jinx it, but the last time we found someone who was akumatized it was Mr. Pigeon and that was nearly a month ago." He had most certainly been keep tracking. Between the photo shoots, collabs, and interviews along with school, his fencing class, and a few side activities, there wasn't much of any activity from Hawk Moth. He doubted the man had suddenly fallen off the face of the Earth, but there had to be something at play. Then again his sidekick, Mayura, had been hurt in her last confrontation with the rest of them. Maybe the two of them were an evil couple and Mothy had to take some time out of his akumatizing schedule to take care of her? It was sweet even though they were both evil - taking joy in turning people into their minions all in a vain attempt to get the Cat and Ladybug Miraculous. Then again, what if her sickness was the reason why Hawk Moth was trying so hard? Maybe the reason they'd shown their costumed faces was because of desperation, and Hawk Moth had gotten a mad power-up from her to boot. She hadn't been in the game until recently so maybe that was it? It was something he'd been speculating on a while now, but hadn't had enough evidence to support this theory which meant he hadn't said anything to Ladybug about it. He probably should at some point, but not even now seemed like a good time. "He's too annoying to just give up and go on vacation, so maybe he's wrapped up in some supervillain HR meeting where they talk about their failures and how to go about achieving their goals while eating muffins from the cafeteria." It was random and probably outlandish. The goal was to make her laugh, especially when he was about to say something that might cause a bit of an issue between them. Yeah, butter her up before telling her that he won't be around for a little while because a friend of his father had done some contest and had picked three kids from nowhere to take on as apprentices or something and Adrien would be with them for a while. It was just a publicity stunt and collaboration thing, but it was an extra added activity and with everything else he had to do something needed to be cut out, and it wasn't like Ladybug only had him to rely on considering she could dish out the Miraculous to other people. It would be fine. "I don't think there's any crime afoot tonight," he offered teasingly after they stopped near the Louvre for a break. He stretched both arms over his head and yawned before flopping down in a cross legged position. "Which is convenient because...well, I won't be uh, be around for the next few weeks at least." Best to just rip off the bandage. "My family is going to be particularly busy and I won't be able to get out of certain obligations so if there's an emergency you'll have to get one of the others. I'll try to sneak away, but you'll have to treat any threat that might crop up like one that I won't be able to help you fight in." Just saying that made him feel like crap. If an emergency came up and someone got hurt because he prioritized taking pictures with some contest winners over fighting crime then he would have to live with that guilt, but his father would be watching and if he even tried to get out of something like that the consequences would make him being Chat Noir period even harder when things weren't incredibly busy. If he wanted to keep being being a hero then he was going to have to do whatever it took to keep his father off his case. This was one of those situations where there were no good options to take. "I'd better head home. I have to wake up early. Well, earlier than usual." He turned back the way they'd come, which was in the opposite direction of his home actually, and ran off. He was out of his lady's sight he changed the direction and took a different route home. He de-transformed, fed Plagg a few pieces of Camembert and raced the rest of his way home - entering through the front gates and not stopping until he was in his room.

"Okay Sixer, how'd this happen?" Triplets Stanton, Stanford, and Stanley sat in their shared bedroom - Stanley and Stanton; or Shermie as he liked to be called - sitting on either side of their brother Stanford as he read the letter in his hand for the fourth time in silence. There had been a bit of a contest months ago created by a man named William Chiffrer. He was looking for individuals with a wide variety of talents that ranged from athleticism to intellect. Stanford had of course sent filled out the necessary forms on top of going above and being by writing an entire essay about why he believed he should be chosen...he'd also sent out the necessary forms for his siblings and tricked each of them into writing a bit of an essay of their own. He didn't think any of them would be accepted. William was a man of many talents, but what had caught Stanford's attention was the man's intellect. William had the ability to create his own language - something that he and his siblings had done when they were younger...little ciphers that only they could understand, but William? As far as Stanford knew the man had at least three different languages of his own under his belt, a company that didn't seem tethered to him, and ideas of deep sea and space exploration that he had no qualms with sharing to the masses. In other words, the man was an actual genius who had absolutely no problem flaunting it. Stanford was envious, intrigued and well, William was his idol. That meant he wanted to learn from him and this contest? This contest would be his one shot. He, however, didn't want to go in alone. The sound of someone playing with a paddle ball close to his face caused him to jerk to attention. His eyes traveled to his left where he saw Stanley, the sibling that was identical to him minus the fingers, waiting impatiently for an answer. To Stanford's right his slightly older fraternal sibling looked unimpressed already having an idea of what'd taken place though the chances of all three of them being picked was...highly unlikely. "It's not that difficult to understand," the middle triplet said as he pushed himself off the bed and paced the center of their bedroom floor. "More so, improbable. The chances of the three of us getting chosen for this opportunity of a life time is simply astronomical. It's--" "Not the question, Poindexter. Sherm and I didn't enter this sleaze ball's contest. I know I suck at math, but I'm at least a hundred percent sure that us not enterin’ means we both hadda zero percent chance'o winnin' anything. Howzat possible, I wonder." One look at his brothers had rooted to the spot - both hands behind his back as his started to get nervous. Stanley continued to play with his paddle ball, but his attention remained on Stanford while Shermie let out and exasperated sigh. "I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking. Well, of course I know what I was thinking. It would be incredible to have William Chiffrer as a mentor. His vast knowledge of the world and its inner workings - despite being quite controversial - has merit and have been shown to be more than just plausible. This man has plans to change the world and the means to do it and it would be remiss of me to pass up the opportunity to work under the man himself. I just did not wish to go alone so I took the liberty of signing contest forms for the both of you while feeding you false information about an extra credit essay where you had to convince the President of the United States of why you would be a great addition to the White House." "Wait, that's not what you told me," Stanley said with narrowed eyes while slowly lowering the paddle ball. "Errhm, yes well, you having to convince a potential suitor's father of why he should let you date his daughter seemed more plausible than the Presidential angle, I'm afraid. Now, even if only one of us came out victorious in this raffle the winner is permitted a plus one! Had either of you won instead I would have hoped that you'd allow me to tag along." "And yet Pa calls me the shyster. I am so proud of you.” Stanley wipes an imaginary tear from his eye while Stanford glares at him before turning his attention towards Shermie who’d finally lifted his head. His expression was exasperated yet thoughtful making it clear that he, at least, wasn’t going to make such a huge deal of out it. Between Stanley and Shermie, the latter was much more academically inclined and when opportunity struck he tended to let it in and treat it like a friend. Paris, France was a place that these three boys from New Jersey would never in their wildest dreams imagine being able to visit - not with how much of a penny-pincher their father was. For a while all there had only been a pair of glasses between them which Stanley and Shermie had agreed to let Ford have indefinitely. ”This is a once in a life time ordeal, isn’t it?” Shermie questioned after letting the silence linger. They were teenagers with no real funds to their name. If they went to college it would have to be on a scholarship - Stanford had at least four lined up, Stanley could possibly go for football, and Shermie had his hands in a little bit of everything. Other than that, there was nothing for fancy trips to far off lands like France, so right here? Right now? Yeah, it definitely seemed as though this was going to be one of those once in a lifetime deals. The brothers looked at each other, Stanley sliding off the bed to punch Stanford in the arm before leaning against his shoulder while Shermie continued thinking. Finally he stood up and crossed his arms. "That was an underhanded trick you pulled Ford, but I can't say that I blame you and a trip to freaking France? The City of Love? We'd have to be crazy to pass up the opportunity." "Ugh, love," Stanley griped, immediately turning sour causing Shermie to look a little guilty while Ford rolled his eyes and elbowed him good-naturedly. His breakup with Carla McCorkle had been a messy one. Karma seemed to strike at both Carla and the boy she'd cheated on Stanley with, Thistle Downe, in the form of someone riding his van into a ravine. According to reports it had been someone dressed up in some sort of costume with a tail. Either way love was currently a big flaming no-no in the Stan Triplets's bedroom...except for Shermie. "Perhaps it would be in your best interest to invite Veronica along, Shermie." Ah, the turns immediately tabled as Stanley's frown disappeared to be replaced by the biggest, doofiest, mischievous grin he could muster while Shermie's face turned a nice shade of tomato red. He sputtered while Stanley darted out the room to make the call leaving Stanford to block his big brother in - the commotion the duo made their mother had to warn them about roughhousing in the house and to take that mess outside. Stanley snickered, his Ma gave him an idea. Outside and to his car he ran after hearing his brothers on the stairs. When they realized that Stanley wasn't inside the brothers raced outside to see Stanley checking his pockets for his keys. Suddenly Stanley was on the ground laughing after having been tackled by Shermie which left Stanford - innocent little Stanford - to head back inside and make the call himself. "Hello, Mrs. Carlyle? This is Stanford Pines. Is Veronica there?” There’s a particularly loud wheeze from outside that catches Stanford’s attention. He looks to his Ma and shrugs before going back to his call. “Hello, Ronnie? You won't believe the good news. Do you recall that contest I entered for the trip to Paris, France to study under THE William Chiffrer? Exciting news. Not only did I win, so did Stanley and Sherman. I...will explain later, but each of us gets to bring a plus one. I am cordially inviting you--"

Talon had seen the threat coming a mile away and he actually tried to draw attention to what was going on. With him being who he was he held rank in his uncle's organization, but it only extended so far especially when the side of evil thought they'd had the victory in the bag. It was the same song and dance time and time again. They thought they had the inspector, he'd goof around and somehow come out on top with the help of his niece, and then Claw would vow vengeance the next time they crossed paths. It got old, and Talon was tired. He was tired of constantly losing when he knew that he had the skills to come out on top. In fact, he was pretty sure he could overthrow his uncle instead of working as his underling, but as things were? His street cred had plummeted. All the losses caused by Penny and her uncle set him back time and time again. The villain circles he ran in started giving out awards for the most failed missions and he had somehow gained the lead. It was embarrassing and degrading and it was about time he'd think about his future. If he wanted to show the world he was more than just that bumbling oaf who happened to be Claw's nephew then he needed to branch out and re-establish himself, perhaps even go back to the drawing board. It was when he realized that no one was going to heed his words did he decide cut his losses. He'd grabbed Penny and her dumb dog and pulled them to safety with the parting words of, “Catch ya later, Penny,” before going back into the fray. He had a mini force field surrounding him which was, in theory, supposed to be strong enough to protect him from any type of explosion. He didn't think he'd actually be in a situation where he'd be testing this out, but he didn't have too much time. He was looking for something in particular before things went side ways. It was as though his eyes landing on his prize was the trigger which launched the explosion. He cursed, a bright light blinding him before he was propelled off his feet and backwards. He clicked his heels together until the rockets activated, and he hastily righted himself, but he still slammed against through the wall behind him. He should have snapped his back. He should have been covered in flames, but instead survived - barely able to get a handle on the situation. For one thing his force field was still holding up and he’d managed to what he’d gone back for - a bejeweled box which was what his uncle had been after. Luckily whatever he was holding was also covered by his forcefield. Not only that but this explosion was the chance he'd been waiting for - to get away from his uncle and lay low, preferably with a family member that was on the opposite side of the law. You know, a good guy. It helped that he’d been straddling the fence for months now - working with HQ a bit due to some sob story he’d fed Penny which meant he definitely had an alibi. People saw him save Penny. People knew that this scheme of his uncle’s had absolutely nothing to do with him. Whatever happened here couldn’t be pinned on him. Talon’s boots were totally ruined when he activated them - they only had a few seconds of righting him before the thrusters at the bottom went off in mini explosions that luckily hadn't harmed his feet - and found an agent of Claw that was roughly his size though totally unrecognizable. He removed his boots and shoved them onto the remains and dragging it over to a still burning flame. His forcefield protected his feet from the heat, but it wouldn't hold for too much longer. Even now the heat was already starting to penetrate and he had to run. With the forcefield having protected him from the brunt of the explosion some of his other tech remained as well. There was a prototype cloaking device he'd had installed that ran on the same 3D holographic projector tech he tended to use for a quick and easy disguise. He swapped modes and from his belt a little barely noticeable light extended, scanned his form, and bent the light around him making him appear invisible. He made it half a block invisibly before the forcefield conked out with the invisibility following next which meant that his 3D projector was also down for the count. He paid it no mind as he'd taken that into consideration and made sure to avoid any areas that seemed busy. He didn't need anyone to see him running around barefoot and covered in soot. Besides, no good villain worth their salt went around town without a cache of some sort and he was near his closest one. It was a rundown apartment building which, on the outside it just looked a little lopsided; could use a little TLC. On the inside? Oh, the building looked as though it should have been condemned before his Uncle Claw was born. It was perfect, and it was where Talon cleaned himself up, changed into a set of clothing that was not his typical purple though did include another set of rocket boots, and combed his hair flat on his head giving him those infamous "Boy Band Bangs" which were partially hidden by the hood from the jacket he'd decided to wear. He left the apartment and, despite knowing it was a bad idea, made his way back to the scene of the explosion. There were HQ agents, a bomb squad, the fire department and of course police officers everywhere as well as a crowd. He spotted Inspector Gadget who'd apparently made it out unscathed as usual, and he even saw a few of Claw's men being apprehended. He shook his head. There had never been a fight between him and HQ that had gone so far in as long as he could remember. He clicked his tongue and whispered, "C'est la vie," as he walked away - washing his hands of this botched operation as well as his Uncle Claw - for good. Once far enough away and pulled out his cellphone, took a deep breath and placed a call he'd never thought he'd make. "Hey Billy. It's, ugh, Tristan*. Is that offer for help still on the table?" William Thaw* sounded visibly confused on the other end of the line, most likely because he'd been sleeping at the time. When he realized that his cousin was in need of help he woke up just a bit more. "You need a place to stay, Mr. Big Shot Criminal?" That was not the tone that Talon was hoping to hear, but it wasn't entirely unexpected either. Most if not all of their family was evil including Billy's dad. Even their grandma was evil, but no one had really given Billy the memo so he turned out to be one of the good guys. With him and Talon being roughly the same age and having lived together with their grandma for a while, there was always some form of disagreement or the other, especially when Talon had learned of their family's history and chose to follow in their footsteps. It was why he'd swapped his name from Tristan to Talon as a sign of respect for his then role model Dr. Claw. "Is this the part where you give me a huge speech about right and wrong or heroism because if it is you can save it. I’ve branched away from Uncle Claw months ago and a good thing too because he messed up big time. I tried to tell him his plan was bunk from the get-go, but he went ahead with it anyway even after I warned him about a gas leak. Then I tried to tell the stupid henchmen that the explosives they were planting were going to trigger an even bigger explosion but I’m not on the payroll anymore and apparently a bigger explosion the better. They were so concerned with making sure they got Gadget - that’s their entire thing but...Usually no one gets fatally hurt and a few people did. That's not the kind of villainy I signed up for." For a moment he thought Billy'd hung up on him, but then he heard the ruffling of blankets and the clicking of what must have been a lamp being turned on. "People died?" "One as far as I was able to tell. I was caught in the blast too. ForcefieId tech saved me and I managed to get a few people out before the blast but yeah. I'm sure it'll be on the world news if it isn't already." "What do you want from me, Tris?" Hearing that nickname hurt. "I want to initiate protocol Redo." "Never thought you'd say that." The sound of Billy getting out of bed could be heard. Moments later the sound of a computer or laptop being booted up sounded through the line. "Tell me about it. I thought I had everything planned out. Didn’t take into account that Uncle Claw’s gotten senile in his old age." "Luckily we're both deceptively smart and plan for things that we don't think we'd ever need then, huh?" "You call that luck. I call that being smarter than everyone else. Even if you don’t think it’ll ever happen to you plan for it anyway, especially in this line of business.” ”Especially.” Talon finally stopped walking when he reached a twenty-four hour fast food place where he plugged in his phone and ordered something so that he wouldn't be bothered. "I assume you handled Talon?" "Died in the explosion that took out a few senior HQ agents and a few of Claw's henchmen. Identifiable only by his rocket boots." The line was silent aside from the clicking of keys. Talon ate silently while he listened to his cousin work. A few hours of Billy working he finally came to a stop. "Tristan Thaw is in the system once more. You did a thorough job of wiping him out. Can't say that I'm surprised. I've altered Talon’s files. You're now your own twin, congratulations. You were put up for adoption at a young age but there was a missing person's report due to you running away. Your file was closed because you were presumed dead. People will most likely stumble upon this now while trying to pull up information about Talon so...in the off chance that that happens. Call me, and I will say I've been hiding you in my dorm." "No. I can't do--" "You will, Tristan. Despite the incredible foolishness of this family it's the only one I have. Despite how everyone around me is a bad guy from the worst comic book tropes I've ever read, this family still manages to take care of each other. I'm in a boarding school because I didn't want to be part of the family business. Someone in the family is paying for me to be here. You've protected me inadvertently a few times, and Uncle Claw has taken me under his wing a time or two, and I am also the first person grandma taught her cookie recipe to. The point is, despite this family being nefarious in every sense of the word, we ALL protect each other, and you came to me for help. You did what you could to stop something horrible from happening, and it happened anyway. If worse comes to worse I'm sure Uncle Claw would help--" "Gonna stop you right there. I don't want his help, otherwise I'd have gone back to the lair. This is...let him think I'm dead. You're the only one who’ll know the truth." "Of course. Well, if you can manage to get from where you are to Paris there's an apartment that seems to have been paid for. Has been in my name for a while. I'm thinking Grandma made me a few safe houses just in case I decided to turn rotten, but you can stay there." "Thanks Billy." "You can thank me by not pulling this stunt again." "Or I'll just say thank you and move to your safehouse."

                                                               ---TIME SKIP---                                                           ONE MONTH LATER

When Billy told him about the safehouse in Paris he probably should have expected the place to be pretty well furnished and in a decent part of the city. It wasn’t exactly flashy, but it would probably garner the attention of his neighbors. Luckily he had a backstory figured out, a passport, a birth certificate and other documentation that he needed. Luckily for him there was nobody looking for him, and even if they were they certainly would have no reason to look for him in Paris. It was the perfect escape for him, and definitely gave him time to himself. He didn’t want to drop the villain thing, but if he wanted to become a huge contender then he was going to have to change his image. He was going to have to one up the competition and finally...he was going to have to down his uncle. For now, he had to start small. For now he had to blend in with the masses, build up a bit of a rep while staying in the shadows until he could build his own empire. Luckily for him he had a few connections already.

The three dorks staying across from him had arrived a few days after he moved in and made quite the impression. The one with the six fingers had bumped into him and apologized profusely for not paying attention to where he was walking and flailed his hands a bit. Talon, or rather Tristan made the faux pas of commenting on his fingers aloud which seemed to cause some embarrassment. Another boy, had to be a twin or something, heard the remark and was making his way over with his fists clenched causing Talon to remark that he’d never seen something so cool before. It seemed to be the right thing to say as all three of them somewhat relaxed while heading up the stairs. That’s where Talon encountered the third of them realizing that he was staying across from a set of triplets.  It was a bit awkward at first, before the boy with the glasses answered his question about what they were doing in Paris.  “I didn’t know that Willy had a contest going on. You guys must be pretty smart if he chose the three of you, and siblings to boot.” Of course Talon knew very well that Willy wasn’t exactly a good person. The guy was sophisticated in public, but in private he had a bit of sadistic streak and was pretty psychotic in some instances. Yeah the dude was an actual genius, but he also gathered great minds and exploited them. The fact that he’d gathered three brothers, triplets no less? Something was definitely going on. “You say that as though you know the man personally,” Stanford stated while his brother, the one with the slightly darker hair (Shermie) opened the door and Stanley carried some stuff inside. “Not at all,” he immediately shook his head. “I tried to enter his contest before as well. I actually made a hoverboard--” “Like from Back to the Future?” Stanley asked as he kicked his box into the room. Talon nodded and said,"Exactly like that," while Stanford looked skeptical. That was the start of their...he wouldn’t exactly call it a friendship but it was pretty close.                                                                --------------------- Adrien hadn’t been expecting to be invited to the triplet’s apartment building after their initial gathering and photo-op with William and his father, but he had accepted the invite anyway seeing as it would allow him to spend some time with teenagers his age while using his father’s tactics against him.  “I was supposed to meet up and help the Pines’s today for an hour before meeting Kagami for our fencing lesson? His father had simply nodded through the tablet monitor that Nathalie was holding. Adrien took off soon after that with G manning the car. When he’d arrived at the apartment it was to an open door and the triplets arguing over what they wanted to do first. There was also another boy there, arms crossed and back against the wall with a smirk on his face. Adrien had the feeling that he’d been the cause of this little argument. “Am I early?” he’d asked which drew the triplet’s attention. “Yer right on time, Aiden.” “His name is Adrien, be nice.” The identical brothers bickered between themselves while Sherman shook his head and beckoned for Adrien to come inside before closing the door. “Just go. It’s not a big deal.” All eyes turned to Talon who pushed off the wall and raised his hands.  “Of course it’s a big deal! He can take his girl all over Paris after we celebrate. We’ve been here for a week and haven’t burned our apartment down. This is a cause for celebration! Let the Pines Brothers party for a day,” Stanley argued with his arms crossed. Shermie just covered his face in his hands and sighed. "Or we can go get Ronnie since she may as well be a Pines, grab some snacks and celebrate here?” “Stanford Filbrick Pines--” The two outsiders watched in amusement as Sherman tried to grab the six fingered boy who ducked behind Stanley and then into the kitchenette practically dragging the loudmouthed boy with him.  “So um, who are--” “I live across the hall. Gotta admit these guys have been the best entertainment I could have possibly asked for. What about you, Mr. Agreste? Working a charity case here?” Adrien was partially confused and partially offended by the question. “Not at all. I was invited over.” “Oh, that makes more sense.” He hadn’t elaborated on that making Adrien narrow his eyes before the triplets re-emerged from wherever they’d been in the apartment. Stanley had his arms crossed while Stanford was scowling. Shermie looked far less ruffled than the other two which meant he’d proven his point.  "Sorry about that, you two. The plan is we’re going to call my friend to have her meet us here then head out for a celebratory get together. Since you two are the only people we know here we’d thought you’d be up to joining us?” The fact that Adrien had made three new friends who wanted to hang out with him brought a smile to his face, but then he thought about his obligations and the other friends he’d had to turn down. His smile turned a bit sad before he shook his head.  "I’m really sorry you guys, but I can’t stay for very long. My schedule is booked solid. The only reason I was able to slip out was because I told my father that I had to help you three for an hour before I have to practice my fencing.” Talon lunged at the air in front of him, swinging around an imaginary rapier before snorting, “Can you be any more of a cliche?” Even Stanley cracked a smile at that before lunging towards Talon with his arm out, the two of them swiping at each other with their invisible weapons, Stanley beginning to talk like a pirate while Shermie was in the process of calling Ronnie to let her know of their plans. “Ignore them,” Stanford said while giving his brother and Talon a glare that went completely ignored. “It’s what I do when they get like this.” “I’ll keep that in mind,” was Adrien’s annoyed reply. A second later he found himself being dragged into the sword fight by Talon before Stanley grabbed an unwilling-to-participate Stanford. “My first mate will absolutely swab the deck with ye’s!” “Stanley no.” “Cap’n Lee thinks he kin board me ship and spread ‘is tall tales, but we’s a learn’em.” “Tristan don’t encourage him!” Stanford’s words went ignored as Talon managed to grabbed a decorative pillow from the couch and chucked it at the six fingered boy yelling, “CANNON BALL!”. Taking it as an immediate out, Stanford dramatically fell to the floor, sat up and positioned the thrown pillow beneath his head, and then laid back again. “Nooooo, Sixer! I shall avenge ye!” He ran towards Talon only to be intercepted by Adrien as he slid in front of the other boy. Stanley’s eyes widened, surprised at Adrien’s speed, and he tried to stop before colliding. Adrien moved out of the way as quickly as he’d come while Talon remained there holding out another of the pillows which he used to smack Stan in the face as he came to a stop. Stanley dropped to the ground dramatically like Stanford had and made gurgling noises since the unwritten/impromptu rule was that the pillows were cannon balls. The four boys laughed before Stanford got up and put the pillows away with a shake of his head. Stanley was glad to have managed to get his brother to participate. It had been a long time since they’d done something like this and it made him think that this trip to Paris was a good idea, especially after having met “Tristan’ and Adrien.

[almondmilkygay]

Reddie; Heroes.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a major inspo for this, not a rip off however, let me be gay :(

The lights in Derry Highschool's sports hall were dim. The reflection of the disco ball reflected from the metal to the walls, carefully disguised in banners and streamers. Colourful lights lit up the room, and bounced off of Richie Tozier's round glasses. He pushed them carefully, further up the bridge of his nose. As he sat alone on the empty bleachers, everything around him seemed muffled. As if he was in his own bubble, the tacky teenage music boomed obnoxiously. Richie continued to sit there for a few minutes, before someone joined him - too shadowed to see.

"Not a big fan of prom, huh?" They said, voice raised but still gentle. Richie chuckled and nodded, hoping they would see. Luckily, they did.

"Yeah, me neither," The voice agreed. They let out a sigh as the music stopped booming and the normal lights came back alight. Richie turned to the figure to see who he had been talking to . The boy had honey brown locks, which fell lightly over his face - which was slightly flushed, freckles littering across his cheeks and nose. The still flashing rainbow lights shone in his eyes, illuminating the light hazel they were blessed with. He wore a gentle pink blazer, and supported a baby blue tie, which he tugged at carefully, before tucking a thread of hair behind his ear.

"D'ya wanna get out of here?" Richie found himself asking, slightly taken aback by the small boy's good looks. To his surprise, the other boy nodded. With that, Richie stood from his seat on the bleachers and held out his hand, "Accompany me."

The boy giggled and took Richie's hand. They clashed. The boy's were soft and warm, whereas Richie's were rough with blisters and dry skin. Richie felt his cheeks warm, whether with embarrasment or infatuation, he wasn't sure. Together, they walked out of the sports hall and out into the cool Autumn air. Richie sported a denim jacked on his shoulders, which he hunched off as he saw the other boy shivering. He handed it to him, and the boy took it in his hands before putting it on himself.

"My name's Eddie," He said, "Eddie Kaspbrak."

"Oh-ho, I've heard about you. The name's Richie," Richie exclaimed, as they walked down the empty pathways outside the school, "And you're good friends with my girl, Beverly Marsh..?" Eddie nodded, skipping lightly in his step. Noticing this, Richie smiled.

"Bevvie's an angel," Eddie sighed out wistfully.

"You gonna hit that?" Richie asked cheekily, his smile so wide it ached his cheeks and his dimples threatened to cut deeper into his cheeks.

"Oh, gosh no!" Eddie said, slightly taken aback, "Ben is of course,” He said, almost matter-of-factly, “Plus, I'm not really.. into.. you know..?"

Richie laughed aloud at this.

"Eddie, baby," He said, adopting a nickname. Eddie flushed crimson red, "I'm the trademark gay of Derry High."

"Is that so?"

"Damn right, not many dudes swing that way of course. You n' I are one in a billion, Eds," Richie said, nodding to him with a raised eyebrow. Richie's jacket's sleeves hung over Eddie's hands as he clamped them together in an attempt to keep warm.

"Great to know, Rich," Eddie shivered. Richie watched carefully, taking him aside and stopping his skipping for a moment. Richie's hands found comfort on Eddie's thin shoulders.

"Hey, you're cold?" Richie said, tilting his head as Eddie nodded, "My place is close and it's empty, we'll warm you up." Eddie merely nodded, and Richie pulled him into the side of his torso, holding him tight.

"You're strangely nice for a person I've never spoken to before," Eddie muttered, holding onto Richie.

"Hey, a person talks to me - I make a good impression," Richie chuckled, "Don't have many friends so I've gotta make the most of what I've got. Bev's one of my best, and Stanson but he hates me sometimes."

"Stanley Uris?" Eddie asked as they walked up the driveway of Richie's house.

"The one and only," Richie replied, rummaging in his pockets for his house key, but only finding a bobby pin, "Ah shit," He stuck the pin inside of the keyhole and after a few seconds of twisting and turning, the door swung open, "Nice." He laughed, allowing Eddie to enter first.

"Where's your room?" Eddie asked, looking around the homely house. Richie gestured upstairs.

"First door on the right, I'll be up in a tick," He said. Eddie took this time to his advantage and hurried upstairs to explore the boy's room. Inside, hundreds of records and tapes sat on bookshelves, accompanied by a few textbooks. A record player sat in one corner of the room, and a boombox on the other. His bed was strangely neat, the navy blue sheets tucked into the mattress, accompanied by one measly pillow. A notebook sat on the bedside table, Eddie assumed it was a diary, and that keeping a diary was a gay thing, for he had one too.

"Welcome to Casa Le Richie," Richie announced loudly, startling Eddie a little. In his hands, Richie held a woolen blanked and a steaming mug of something, "I'll take the jacket, and you can take this," He gestured awkwardly at the blanket with his mug-full hand, "And this is uh- ginger tea.. so you don't get sick."

Eddie smiled and nodded, slipping off the jacket and hanging it off the end of Richie's bed. He took the mug from Richie's hand and held it in his two, occasionally sipping it.

"So.." Eddie finally said, tearing away the border of silence, "What've you got against senior prom?" Richie breathed out a light chuckle, taking a seat at his desk on the other side of the room and spinning in the chair to face Eddie.

"Bunch of annoying straight teenagers pretending to be drunk on fruit punch while dancing to obnoxious disco tech music?" He laughed, "Don't know about you, Eds, but it isn't exactly my dream.."

"Hm, should've guessed," Eddie replied, nodding and looking around the room, "Don't exactly like moving onto futuristic shit, do you?" Richie flashed him a wide grin, standing from his wheelie chair.

"Nossir," He simply said, riffling through records, "I dwell on the past." Richie gently put the record down on its player, and lowered the pin. As the music began to fill the room, Eddie continued to sip his tea.

"David Bowie?" Eddie asked wonderously, finally realising what Richie was playing.

"Heroes," Richie replied wistfully, lying back in his chair with his feet propped on his desk, "An all time favourite on my part. Helped me through some deep, deep shit."

"It is a beautiful song," Eddie agreed, placing the now empty mug on Richie's bedside table, and taking it upon himself to lie back on the neatly tucked bed, "Among my favourites.." Richie hummed in agreement, tapping out the backing drums on his thigh.

"Let's say we have our very own prom, Eds?" He said finally, standing up and holding out his hand - much like on the bleachers. Eddie smiled widely and took Richie's hand, standing to his own feet. Eddie's hand raised into the air, enclosed in Richie's, and Richie's other hand settled on Eddie's waist, just before his back. The two swayed unproffesionally, needless to say neither were the perfect dancer. But they weren't abismal, not in each other's eyes that's for sure. Little did the two boys know, that their relationship would grow. Little did they know, that they'd dance in this style at their own wedding, to the same song as when they were teenagers.

Little did they know, that they were in love from the moment they had spoken.

[collymore]

Europe's Holocaust like its many splendid pogroms were all spot on!

By Stanley Collymore   What short and also quite convenient memories you actually, racist scum distinctively have! Harry was generally, literally, unquestionably, undoubtedly warm and obviously thoroughly supportive too, of his evidently older brother William’s choice of a wife fully embracing too that relationship. Remember the very numerous photos of the "we three together"? However, it   is distinctly quite obvious to me,   that also simply unquestionably   William and, clearly implacably,   his evidently rather obsessively   stalking trollop Kate Middleton:   two odious, kiss-me-ass to use   a Bajan designation manifestly   sick racists, and vile delusional   white supremacists essentially   simply didn't, haven't and never   intended to clearly reciprocate,   far less so commendably aptly   respect, Harry's own choice of   his also, individual bride. That,   Yid descendant- Goldsmith by   name, and nature  - rabid gold   digger, and a quite repulsively,   clearly obsessive stalker Kate   Middleton; effectively, like the   queer nerd that she ensnared   solely for social climbing and   acquisitive reasons; asininely,   think they're actually superior to every non-white, individual   person, and most specifically   so, Black ones; crucially even   when clearly ludicrously, and   through jealousy, their target   is effectively unquestionably   a distinctly, highly-educated;   exceedingly, clearly talented   and obviously self- evidently   mentally liberated, and aptly   a similarly, quite discernibly,   conspicuous, and articulate   African- American, Woman!   And yet there are numerous   idiots around who can't or   simply blindly refuse to   accept the actually real reasons for   those across the several centuries   numerous, and clearly necessary,   pogroms; along, with Germany's,   own basically worthy liberation:   the genuinely blessed courtesy   of a European-Holocaust;  but,   quite sadly an unfinished task   of that white scum - whatever   name, that they subsequently   use like Middleton. That's the   core issue here with Yid Kate   Middleton, and the obviously   fucking well used but clearly   too cunting well daft to aptly   see it effectively entrenched   racist; as well as a noxiously   obviously rather distinctively   fatuously; undeniably, White   Supremacist Willie Windsor:   that graspingly self-entitled   dodgy adulterer; allowed by   his married trollop basically   because of who he really is,   but who frankly does prefer   men, specifically to women;   don't you, old boy? You very   evil; crucially plus evidently   additionally too, a distinctly   most pathetically and quite   laughably supposedly hunk   when in reality you're really   nothing more than actually   an evidently birthright, and   bald, racist Willie Windsor!   (C) Stanley V. Collymore 3 December 2023.   Author's Remarks: It's not simply a political Revolution, French style, that Britain evidently needs, it also quite desperately as well quite urgently actually needs its own distinctively, specifically engineered European-styled pogroms as a matter of course! Obviously, because Racism and discernibly  self-entitled financial acquisitiveness shouldn't any longer be allowed to work only exclusively in a prescribed one-way system and solely for those who obsessively, consistently delude themselves that they alone have a divine right to this vilely and evilly, lavishly indulged in, supposedly quite eternally God-given dispensation.

More aptly and recently in the 20th Century, I rather think that the Germans, despite a miniscule number of evidently simple errors, did obviously overall about get it right, basically! What a shame actually that those millions quite collectively of Blacks, other non-whites and of course the Russians literally stopped it all from achieving its full fruition!   Was fuer eine Schande!

[illchanceit]

DI'S MASTERLIST

main ❀ ko-fi ❀ ao3

❀Fics❀

«Brave» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “He was trembling. Despite the darkness surrounding them, and the shitty dim light of the flashlight he was holding, Richie could tell that Eddie was trembling with fear. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, touch him, hold him. He wanted to tell Eddie that everything would be alright, that they would get through this.”『809 | T』

«Burn, Crash, Romance (I'll Take What I Can Get From You)» *WIP* AO3: ❀ “Richie didn’t know Eddie very well, not that he would want to, and even just looking at him now, he knew that Eddie Kaspbrak was exactly all the things that Richie had tried to tell Stanley that frat boys were. His brown hair flopped into his brown eyes, pressed down by some red snapback worn backwards and beige khaki jeans that looked glued to his legs. He was hot and the smirk on his face showed that he knew it.” 『2919 | E | collab with @pattysblum』

«Coffee Shop Angel» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “Wow, I’ve never been called a literal angel before.” He’s no longer laughing, but his smile is wide and his eyes were still bright. “Baby, that should be considered a damn crime,” he sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. “You deserve to be worshipped.”『2218 | T』

«Cold November Rain» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ "He was an idiot. A stupid, cowardly jerk. Why had he run away? That kiss had been everything he could have ever wanted. It was soft, tender and loving. Richie had put so much emotion behind that kiss. So much, that it had scared Eddie. Scared him so much that he made himself believe it was all some kind of joke."『1512 | T』

«Don’t Monkey Around With My Heart» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ "He rubbed at his eyes, seconds away from falling apart at the realization that this was all just a joke to Richie. He didn’t mean any of the words he’d said to Eddie and he never would."『1228 | T』

«Forget the Past, I Want You In My Future» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ "He quickly pulled on his coat, making his way through the radio station with a smile as he waved to everyone who greeted him. ‘Keep smiling. You’re almost out of here. Just a couple more steps.’ Richie thought to himself as he pushed open the front doors and stepped outside, cold air hitting him and a chill running down his spine. He hugged himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm himself up. He made his way down the stone steps of the station entrance, fishing through his jacket pocket for his car keys. The last thing he thought, as his fingers made contact with the cold metal of his keys and his foot slipped on a slippery patch of ice, was how much he really fucking hated Christmas. [or: radio DJ Richie Tozier slips on ice and has to spend Christmas in hospital, with trainee Doctor Kaspbrak looking after him.]"『3477 | T』

«Habeas Your Corpus» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “A beautiful blond between his legs was not the direction he thought his Monday would be going, but he wasn’t going to question it. Even if a part of him knew that doing this in a courtroom, where anyone could walk in on them at any moment, was a horrible idea. Then again, Richie wasn’t known for his good ideas, much less for his common sense, and so he shrugged away any lingering doubt as he surrendered to the feeling of Eddie’s hands.”『6654|E』

«How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead» *WIP* AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “He finds it in the library. The book is tucked between a couple of self-help books that Mike told him he should look into reading. It’s out of place—doesn’t belong there—but the title peaks his curiosity. How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead. He grabs the spine of the book and gently holds it in his hand, inspecting it. There’s no author, no other information, just a title and a short dedication of sorts on the first page. “For those that have hope still lingering in their hearts…” He looks around, making sure no one is watching him before he swiftly hides the small book in the pocket of his jacket.”『1306 | T』

«How to Know If You’re On a Date With Your Best Friend» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “He could see the way Richie looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, eyes slowly widening as he realized Eddie was coming over to sit next to him. Plopping down on the seat, he pushed Richie further into the booth, making himself comfortable. Without breaking eye contact, he placed his straw in Richie’s milkshake glass and asked, “Are we on a date right now?””『2213 | T』

«Kiss Me By The Firelight» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ ““Alright trashmouth, truth or dare?” He looked over at Beverly, who had plopped down next to him, with a weary expression on his face. He studied her, the mischievous grin on her face not going unnoticed by an already alert Richie. “Dare, obviously. Only pussies choose truth.””『1247 | T』

«Kissed the Mark» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ ““Sorry, but you’re gonna have to tell me more than just your name before I let you put your hands on me.” Eddie jokes as he nods his head at Bev in thanks for their drinks. “I’m not that easy.” “Oh ok, hmm let me think…” Richie says as he pretends to think about what he’s going to say “I like long walks on the beach and being the little spoon, plus I’m a total bottom.” Eddie flushes at this, turning his head to avoid eye contact with Richie, and takes a sip of his beer. Richie continues to look at him, enjoying the way he continuously makes the other man blush. “What about you?””『3975 | E』

«Love Me (If That's What You Wanna Do)» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “It was hard to say who exactly started it. After all, both of them were slightly tipsy the night The Kiss happened. All Richie could say—as his hand slowly slid down Eddie’s back, causing him to let out a faint whimper—was that he was very happy with the outcome of it all.”『1286 | M』

«Make It Up To You» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “Maybe it was a little fucked up that he took considerable pleasure in watching his boyfriend of almost ten years cry as Richie denied him what he wanted most, but he couldn’t bring himself to care so much. If Eddie had caught on to his little guilty pleasure, he never mentioned it to Richie, and if he had an issue with the way Richie teased him in bed, he would have definitely called him out on it by now.”『4612 | E』

«Snowed Inn» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “Richie and Eddie are carpooling home from college for the holidays but a snowstorm hits on their way there and they have to stay the night at a b&b”『4612 | E』

«The Future Freaks Me Out» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “I’ll tell you one thing and one thing only spaghetti. I don’t want to think about a future where you’re not in it. I don’t want to think about you being on the opposite side of this country from me. I don’t want to think about any of that because I love you and it hurts. So please, shut the fuck up about college applications already!”『932 | T』

«Until I Hear It From You» AO3: ❀ Tumblr: ❀ “M-my parents sucked.” Bill said as he choked back a sob. “I mean... my own father hit me with his fucking car and then barely batted an eye. I’m terrified that I’ll fuck this up, Eddie. I don’t want to be a bad father, I want Ellie to have all the love and attention that Georgie and I never got growing up. You and Rich have two adorable daughters that have everything they could ever want...That’s what I want for Ellie. Please, Eddie, tell me how to be a good father.”『1599 | T』

❀College AU Prompts❀

«Richiepat» ❀ "you asked me out and I didn’t have time for dating between a full-time course load and my job(s), so I know it’s two semesters later but I’d really like to take you up on that date" + "we always end up eating alone in the school cafeteria at the same time, so when you ask me if you can join me, I’m surprised" «Steddie» ❀ "I catch you yelling at the printer in the library for not working and I don’t mean to alarm you since you’re clearly stressed, but I think you accidentally unplugged it" «Stozier» ❀ "some idiots decided it would be funny to mess with peoples’ laundry so now we’re sorting through our dryers and you’re holding up my pink underwear"

❀Drunk Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” + 2. Road Trip AU ❀ “H-How long have you been standing there?” ❀ “You’re sick, let me take care of you.” ❀ “You make me want things I can’t have!” ❀ the gang is playing a drinking game and Eddie wins, and he wants a lapdance from Richie ❀ “Please don’t be mad at me.” ❀ “You know you don’t have to try so hard with me, right?” ❀ “Are you jealous? That’s cute.” ❀ “Oh, God. We broke it–dude, he’s gonna be so pissed! This is all your fault–it was your idea!” + “… Is that my underwear?” + “Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” «Stozier» ❀ “I know you’re mad at me, but will a kiss change your mind?” ❀ “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

❀Emoji Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ 🎉👄🤒 ❀ 🐿🍌👙

❀Five Sentence Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ “they said that broken mirror equals in 7 years of bad luck”? ❀ “It’s three in the morning!” ❀ “It’s three in the morning!” ❀ “just because i love eds it doesn’t mean i want to be with him,” eddie heard richie say. «2» ❀ “you know I love you, right?” «2» ❀ “Do you want me to?” «2» ❀ “And what exactly do you think you’re doing, my love?” «Hanslon» ❀ "I finally found you"

❀Halloween Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ You've literally dressed as ____ for _____ years, shouldn't you change it up? ❀ You drank the punch at the halloween party and made yourself sick so I’m taking care of you AU ❀ excuse you, i will never be too old to go trick-or-treating and i hear the house down the street gives out full sized candy bars «Streddie» ❀ A cat followed me home and won’t leave me alone even when I put a little hat on it so I guess I have a cat now AU

❀Kiss Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ In the bedroom + Confessing feelings ❀ in the snow + relief

❀Misc. Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ claws - as an apology here’s something I wrote for you ❀ okay dee,,, write that fuckin reddie kiss i NEED it for my soul, ok??? ❀ Okay but like Richie finally comes out by writing his first comedy special on his own as like therapy to work through what happened and the whole thing is about the dumb annoying hypochondriac that he was in love with as a kid. “He put his feet in my face and kicked of my glasses and I said to myself he’s the fucking one.” ❀ ficlet for my moodboard based on “he knew well enough” ❀ “I may be short, but you could at least try to make kissing you easier!” «Stanpat» ❀ you’re obsessed with my homemade soup that I serve at my cafe and I’m too embarrassed to tell you that I’ve only been trying out new recipes to see you get excited for the soup of the day. «Stozier» ❀ can we talk about how "it takes hours to look this good richie" is followed by richie winking at stan

❀NSFW Prompts❀

«Reddie» ❀ “One baby won’t hurt.”

❀Headcanons❀

❀ Reddie // Sunflowers ❀ Ben // The Sims ❀ Stozier and Reddie // Stanley and Richie dated at one point ❀ Reddie // Chapter 1 End Scene ❀ Richiepat // Chaotic Best Friends

[sarah-snook]

di’s masterlist

main ❀ ko-fi ❀ ao3

♡MULTICHAPTER♡

«Burn, Crash, Romance (I’ll Take What I Can Get From You)» AO3 ↬ word count: 2919 | rating: E | WIP - 1/8 chapters | collab with @richietoizer

Richie didn’t know Eddie very well, not that he would want to, and even just looking at him now, he knew that Eddie Kaspbrak was exactly all the things that Richie had tried to tell Stanley that frat boys were. His brown hair flopped into his brown eyes, pressed down by some red snapback worn backwards and beige khaki jeans that looked glued to his legs. He was hot and the smirk on his face showed that he knew it.

«How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 6496 | rating: T | WIP - 3/5 chapters

He finds it in the library. The book is tucked between a couple of self-help books that Mike told him he should look into reading. It’s out of place—doesn’t belong there—but the title peaks his curiosity. How to Bring Someone Back from the Dead. He grabs the spine of the book and gently holds it in his hand, inspecting it. There’s no author, no other information, just a title and a short dedication of sorts on the first page. “For those that have hope still lingering in their hearts…” He looks around, making sure no one is watching him before he swiftly hides the small book in the pocket of his jacket.

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

♡ONESHOTS♡

«Brave» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 809 | rating: T

He was trembling. Despite the darkness surrounding them, and the shitty dim light of the flashlight he was holding, Richie could tell that Eddie was trembling with fear. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, touch him, hold him. He wanted to tell Eddie that everything would be alright, that they would get through this.

«Coffee Shop Angel» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 2218 | rating: T

“Wow, I’ve never been called a literal angel before.” He’s no longer laughing, but his smile is wide and his eyes were still bright.

“Baby, that should be considered a damn crime,” he sighs, shaking his head in disbelief. “You deserve to be worshipped.”

«Cold November Rain» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1512 | rating: T

He was an idiot. A stupid, cowardly jerk. Why had he run away? That kiss had been everything he could have ever wanted. It was soft, tender and loving. Richie had put so much emotion behind that kiss. So much, that it had scared Eddie. Scared him so much that he made himself believe it was all some kind of joke.

«Don’t Monkey Around With My Heart» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1228 | rating: T

«Forget the Past, I Want You In My Future» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 3477 | rating: T

He quickly pulled on his coat, making his way through the radio station with a smile as he waved to everyone who greeted him. ‘Keep smiling. You’re almost out of here. Just a couple more steps.’ Richie thought to himself as he pushed open the front doors and stepped outside, cold air hitting him and a chill running down his spine. He hugged himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, trying to warm himself up.

He made his way down the stone steps of the station entrance, fishing through his jacket pocket for his car keys. The last thing he thought, as his fingers made contact with the cold metal of his keys and his foot slipped on a slippery patch of ice, was how much he really fucking hated Christmas.

[or: radio DJ Richie Tozier slips on ice and has to spend Christmas in hospital, with trainee Doctor Kaspbrak looking after him.]

«Habeas Your Corpus» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 6654 | rating: E

A beautiful blond between his legs was not the direction he thought his Monday would be going, but he wasn’t going to question it. Even if a part of him knew that doing this in a courtroom, where anyone could walk in on them at any moment, was a horrible idea. Then again, Richie wasn’t known for his good ideas, much less for his common sense, and so he shrugged away any lingering doubt as he surrendered to the feeling of Eddie’s hands.

«Held In Contempt» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 3044 | rating: E

Richie and Eddie resolve the sexual tension between them after arguing about one of their cases.

prompt: “okay but reddie au where they’re rival lawyers and court is really tense bc eddie goes by the books and richie is Richie and ofc they end up fucking after a particularly heated case…or 6…”

«How to Know If You’re On a Date With Your Best Friend» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 2213 | rating: T

He could see the way Richie looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, eyes slowly widening as he realized Eddie was coming over to sit next to him. Plopping down on the seat, he pushed Richie further into the booth, making himself comfortable. Without breaking eye contact, he placed his straw in Richie’s milkshake glass and asked, “Are we on a date right now?”

«Kiss Me By The Firelight» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1247 | rating: T

“Alright trashmouth, truth or dare?”

He looked over at Beverly, who had plopped down next to him, with a weary expression on his face. He studied her, the mischievous grin on her face not going unnoticed by an already alert Richie.

“Dare, obviously. Only pussies choose truth.”

«Kissed the Mark» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 3975 | rating: E

“Sorry, but you’re gonna have to tell me more than just your name before I let you put your hands on me.” Eddie jokes as he nods his head at Bev in thanks for their drinks. “I’m not that easy.”

“Oh ok, hmm let me think…” Richie says as he pretends to think about what he’s going to say “I like long walks on the beach and being the little spoon, plus I’m a total bottom.”

Eddie flushes at this, turning his head to avoid eye contact with Richie, and takes a sip of his beer. Richie continues to look at him, enjoying the way he continuously makes the other man blush. “What about you?”

«Love Me (If That’s What You Wanna Do)» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1286 | rating: M

It was hard to say who exactly started it. After all, both of them were slightly tipsy the night The Kiss happened. All Richie could say—as his hand slowly slid down Eddie’s back, causing him to let out a faint whimper—was that he was very happy with the outcome of it all.

«Make It Up To You» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 4612 | rating: E

Maybe it was a little fucked up that he took considerable pleasure in watching his boyfriend of almost ten years cry as Richie denied him what he wanted most, but he couldn’t bring himself to care so much. If Eddie had caught on to his little guilty pleasure, he never mentioned it to Richie, and if he had an issue with the way Richie teased him in bed, he would have definitely called him out on it by now.

«Snowed Inn» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 4612 | rating: E

Richie and Eddie are carpooling home from college for the holidays but a snowstorm hits on their way there and they have to stay the night at a b and b.

«The Future Freaks Me Out» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 932 | rating: T

“I’ll tell you one thing and one thing only spaghetti. I don’t want to think about a future where you’re not in it. I don’t want to think about you being on the opposite side of this country from me. I don’t want to think about any of that because I love you and it hurts. So please, shut the fuck up about college applications already!”

«Until I Hear It From You» AO3 // tumblr ↬ word count: 1599 | rating: T

“M-my parents sucked.” Bill said as he choked back a sob. “I mean… my own father hit me with his fucking car and then barely batted an eye. I’m terrified that I’ll fuck this up, Eddie. I don’t want to be a bad father, I want Ellie to have all the love and attention that Georgie and I never got growing up. You and Rich have two adorable daughters that have everything they could ever want…That’s what I want for Ellie. Please, Eddie, tell me how to be a good father.”

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♡PROMPTS♡

Hanslon ↬“I finally found you”

Reddie ↬ 🎉👄🤒 ↬ 🐿🍌👙 ↬ “Why haven’t you kissed me yet?” + 2. Road Trip AU ↬ “H-How long have you been standing there?” ↬ “You’re sick, let me take care of you.” ↬ “You make me want things I can’t have!” ↬ the gang is playing a drinking game and Eddie wins, and he wants a lapdance from Richie ↬ “You know you don’t have to try so hard with me, right?” ↬ “Are you jealous? That’s cute.” ↬ “Oh, God. We broke it–dude, he’s gonna be so pissed! This is all your fault–it was your idea!” + “… Is that my underwear?” + “Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” ↬ “they said that broken mirror equals in 7 years of bad luck”? ↬ “It’s three in the morning!” ↬ “just because i love eds it doesn’t mean i want to be with him,” eddie heard richie say. «2» ↬ “you know I love you, right?” «2» ↬ “Do you want me to?” «2» ↬ “And what exactly do you think you’re doing, my love?” ↬ You’ve literally dressed as __ for __ years, shouldn’t you change it up? ↬ You drank the punch at the halloween party and made yourself sick so I’m taking care of you ↬ excuse you, i will never be too old to go trick-or-treating and i hear the house down the street gives out full sized candy bars ↬ In the bedroom + Confessing feelings ↬ in the snow + relief ↬ claws - as an apology here’s something I wrote for you ↬ Okay but like Richie finally comes out by writing his first comedy special on his own as like therapy to work through what happened and the whole thing is about the dumb annoying hypochondriac that he was in love with as a kid. “He put his feet in my face and kicked of my glasses and I said to myself he’s the fucking one.” ↬ ficlet for my moodboard based on “he knew well enough” ↬ “I may be short, but you could at least try to make kissing you easier!” ↬ “One baby won’t hurt.” ↬ “I could spend hours just looking at you.”

Richiepat ↬ “you asked me out and I didn’t have time for dating between a full-time course load and my job(s), so I know it’s two semesters later but I’d really like to take you up on that date” + “we always end up eating alone in the school cafeteria at the same time, so when you ask me if you can join me, I’m surprised” ↬ chaotic best friends (platonic with stanpat/reddie) ↬ “My hoodie looks comfy on you.” (platonic with side reddie)

Stanpat ↬ you’re obsessed with my homemade soup that I serve at my cafe and I’m too embarrassed to tell you that I’ve only been trying out new recipes to see you get excited for the soup of the day.

Stanpatchie ↬ “a kiss as a promise”

Steddie ↬ “I catch you yelling at the printer in the library for not working and I don’t mean to alarm you since you’re clearly stressed, but I think you accidentally unplugged it”

Stozier ↬ “some idiots decided it would be funny to mess with peoples’ laundry so now we’re sorting through our dryers and you’re holding up my pink underwear” ↬ “I know you’re mad at me, but will a kiss change your mind?” ↬ “Nothing is going to happen to you.” ↬ can we talk about how “it takes hours to look this good richie” is followed by richie winking at stan

Streddie ↬ A cat followed me home and won’t leave me alone even when I put a little hat on it so I guess I have a cat now AU

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♡HEADCANONS♡

↬ Ben // The Sims ↬ Reddie // Sunflowers ↬ Reddie // Chapter 1 End Scene ↬ Stozier and Reddie // Stanley and Richie dated at one point