#reddie angst

[theartsharki]

Classic high school friendship falling out. They’ll speak again in a week or so… Hopefully?

[evilbookworm]

The most painful thing about Eddies death is that Pennywise didn’t just kill him for fun. He knew. He fucking knew that if he killed Eddie, he was killing 2 losers, not just one. He knew that as soon as Eddie was dead, another loser would stop fighting. Knew he would do anything to get Eddie back or die with him. And he was right. Richie stayed by Eddies side the whole time, only leaving to fight IT because he thought Eddie would survive. Richie refused to believe Eddie was dead and fought to bring him out of the cistern. Pennywise knew Richie would’ve stayed with Eddie no matter what. And Richie would’ve, if the other losers hadn’t dragged him out. Even when Neibolt house was collapsing, Richie still fought to get Eddie back.

Richie’s biggest fear was never truly being gay. That was a part of it, sure, but not his biggest fear. It was always losing Eddie. Always. That’s why Pennywise showed him Eddie in Neibolt house-why he always went into full panic mode when Eddie was in danger.

It was always Eddie.

That’s why Pennywise killed him-because he knew that when Eddie died, Richie would die with him.

and he was right.

[sundayfoxx]

i keep thinking of the saddest thing imagine after the losers defeated pennywise for the final time, Richie bought a plot of land in a graveyard and a tombstone for Eddie, and even though there was no body since he was left in neibolt, Richie sat near the grave and absolutely refused to leave. he refused to leave until his dying breath (from starvation or thirst perhaps). He had his arms around Eddie's grave and his last words were "I love you, Eds." even sadder if you apply the theory that Eddie is still alive due to the losers' scars disappearing and "nobody dies in derry" stuff

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Eddie laughed as Richie continued making up more sayings. "You put the fun in dysfunctional- no wait! You put the fun in funeral!"

He and Eddie would laugh for hours at Richie's attempt at humor, but now, when Richie lies awake at night, he thinks about how Eddie couldn't even have a funeral.

Fuck, if only I dragged your body out with me-

And Richie will spend hours crying out to Eds, yearning for him to come back to him.

[princess-glassred]

My fav Reddie dynamic is most definitely "Eddie grows up too quick, Richie never grows up, but they learn how to be better adults through each other"

[darkcrowprincess]

Richie seeing Eddie's ghost post it chapter two.

[woohoorin]

[therealhumanbeingonearth]

..wait, theres actually a theory that RICHIE, one of the ONLY ONES WITH DECENT PARENTS, has abusive parents??? i thought that was a headcanon

[confused-alien]

I will never be able to explain the sheer feeling of comfort I get when I indulge so deeply in this absolutely heart wrenching tragic couple that I become so sad for them to the point where I’m like: ‘fuck it, that’s enough angst for a while’. And then I create them the happily-ever-after they never got to have, in my silly little head.

Tfym ‘___’ died??? No they didn’t!! They’re STILL ALIVE!!

In fact, right now the two of them are sitting in a the comfiest armchair by the toastiest fire and in the cosiest little oak cottage ever, snogging and reminiscing their past with smiles and happy tears like it was nothing but an adventure, a rollercoaster of a dream they’d woken up from. And now they’re happily married with matching rings on their fingers and a hell of a story to tell their future kids.

[reddiesteds]

Headcanon i had rewatching a scene teehee

So yk when the losers are in the abandoned burned down house and they’re with Eddie. Richie is cupping his face and going “Eddie look at me!” trying to turn his attention away from pennywise, i don’t think Eddie forgot how that felt especially when they all kinda broke apart. It wouldn’t leave his head.

Even as his mother was lecturing him about his friends, all he could think about is how warm his face still felt, how Richie looked at him with so much care, seemingly unpanicked despite the danger they were all in. All to calm him down from his fear induced asthma attack.

He’d lay awake at night wishing to see him and just hangout. In the daytime he almost got on his bike to ride to Richies house but something stopped him doing it, not just his mother but also his own feelings that there was no way he’d get to experience what he did before, again - he didn’t want to go through the awkwardness of a situation like that.

Really he had a lot of anxiety about Richie after that, not just the bad kind. He’d feel butterflies in his stomach, flapping around anytime he’d remember the hands on his face, he’d get nauseous just thinking about speaking to him if they somehow crossed paths in their small town. The more logical side to his mind would try to make him chill out - tell him that nothing between them would be different even if their friend group wasn’t talking, they were still best friends just the two of them.

In a way he’s thankful they didn’t ever see eachother until the day Bill called, at least then he had something more important to focus on.

[sunshinereddie]

going a little insane thinking of a non-pennywise au there the losers never separate and they do grow up together but richie and eddie never get together because eddie is never able to accept his own sexuality and richie never acts on his feelings because "i have a crush on you, but i don’t want to tell you that, so i’m going to push you away. but man, if he made the first move, that’d be the best thing ever" (bill hader i'll kill you myself) and so they grow up as best friends who love each other in more than a best friend's way and never knew that the feeling is mutual.

and so they grow up and live as adults and one day eddie tells the losers all about his new girlfriend, myra, and richie dies a little on the inside, but he plays the part of supportive friend and tries to pretend that he doesn't hate myra from the moment he meets her.

but then a few years go by and now they're engaged. richie is of course invited to the wedding and of course part of the wedding party, even though in these past few years richie and eddie have grown a little apart. something about eddie thinking that richie had changed, he always seemed a little standoffish these days, but eddie never connected the dots that he only acted that way when myra was brought along. he never connected the dots that richie only acted that way because he didn't know how to handle the fact that the love of his life was in love with someone else. but eddie was getting married- this was supposed to be the best day of his life, of course he wanted richie there, even though myra didn't.

even when richie is acting weird at the wedding, eddie shrugs it off. god knows he has more important things to worry about than richie being moody in the corner. for example, he has to make sure that each and every table centrepiece is placed perfectly, god forbid a tulip is out of place or myra would have a meltdown. he has to double and triple make sure that the catering company is making the correct menu, because god forbid myra doesn't get her gluten-free, low carb, zero-sugar dinner.

and he has to try his best to ignore the feelings of doubt burning in his stomach. a feeling of... should i be doing this? he's sure it's just normal wedding nerves.

until richie finds him in his dressing room. they begin to chat, and as richie starts to ramble on about their childhood, reminiscing on the "good old days" and talking about how he can't believe they're both grown up now, eddie can smell the alcohol on his breath. he also realizes that this is the first time they have been alone in a while, and eddie finds it almost... awkward. he had spent a majority of his life loving richie, and even more time trying to pretend that he didn't. he wasn't even sure that he had stopped loving richie, just that he had done a very good job at pretending. but he loved myra now, and besides, him and richie never would have worked out.

that is, until richie lets out a laugh that sounds more dejected than joyful, and eddie's heart sinks as richie says, "i can't believe you're actually getting married. you know, i've never told anyone before, but i actually had a crush on you when we were kids."

eddie's frozen. surely richie didn't just say that, he must be hearing things wrong, but he can't muster anything up except a weak "what?"

richie shrugs casually, as if he hadn't just dropped the biggest bombshell of eddie's life and repeats, "yeah, man, we were probably 13, 14. i had a little crush on you. you know, just one of those little kid crushes. it wasn't a big deal. anyways, it's crazy that you're getting married now."

oh, except it was. richie said something more, but eddie wasn't listening, not when richie let out a tipsy laugh or clapped him on the shoulder or when he left the room. all eddie could think about were those words:

i had a crush on you.

from those words, all eddie could hear was he liked me. he liked me back. it wasn't one-sided. i wasn't crazy for thinking maybe he could like me too. but it's too late. it's too late. it's too late.

eddie looks at himself in the mirror. he's wearing the suit he had specifically bought to get married in. he's wearing the tie that myra had picked out for him. he's wearing a boutonniere of the same flower from the bouquet that his soon-to-be wife would be walking down the aisle with.

and all he can think about is richie tozier. all he can think about is how the person he had loved his entire life, had had feelings for him too. and maybe, just maybe, if eddie had acted on his own feelings fifteen years ago, that things could have been different.

the door opens. it's bill, his best man, letting him know that it was time. "you ready?" bill asks. eddie isn't, but he nods.

because it's too late. it's too late.

[theartsharki]

I’ve been reading my favourite fics and came across "The One with the Prom Video" by @tinyangryeddie . I made art for this fic back when it was published in 2020! This was long overdue for a redraw!

He’s a cutie.

[r-tozierness]

when your card declines at therapy so they bring up the fact that richie watched the love of his life die in his arms without getting to tell him how he felt.

[evilbookworm]

does. does anyone think that when Mike called Bill he would remember Stan first. does anyone think he’d smile and think about how excited he is to see him. does anyone think he’d subconsciously leave his wedding ring behind. does anyone think he’d spend the time waiting at the airport and getting to Derry stalking Stan’s social media profiles and trying to find out as much as he can about Stan now. does anyone think he’d smile stupidly to himself like a lovestruck schoolboy. does anyone think he’d frown a little after seeing Patty. does anyone think he’d be arriving to the jade of orient with a bounce in his step and a grin on his face. does anyone think he’d sit there and watch as everyone filed in and waited for Stan to come. does anyone think he’d be crushed when he doesn’t see anyone behind Richie, Ben, and Bev. does anyone think he’d laugh and talk with the other losers while discreetly throwing glances at the door. does anyone think he’d remember how scared Stan was of It when Mike finally brings it up. does anyone think he’d feel guilty and remember how he’d lost Stan in the sewers. does anyone think he’d feel his heart stop when the fortune cookies say “guess stanley just couldn’t cut it.” does anyone think he’d just feel everything stop when he realizes Stan is gone. does anyone think he’d sit in his hotel room that night and wonder if it’s even worth it to kill It if Stan was gone. does anyone think that he’d thumb his finger against Stan’s shower cap ever so softly because he just can’t. does anyone think that the other reason (besides Georgie) he was so quick to go into the Neibolt House was because he couldn’t deal with the guilt of losing Stan. does anyone think he’d flash back to when he’d convinced Stan to go into the Neibolt House back during the faithful summer of ‘89. does anyone think he’d regret it. does anyone think that when Neibolt Stan tells him it’s his fault he’s dead he gets so much worse. does anyone think that when he got mad at Eddie for not saving Richie it’s because he couldn’t save Stan. does anyone think he’d go down into It’s lair not caring if he lives or dies. does anyone think that he’d feel sad when Eddie drops Stan’s shower cap for the ritual. does anyone else think that he’d run towards where Richie is wrapping his jacket around Eddie’s wound and wish he’d gotten that chance with Stan. does anyone else think he’d watch pennywise die and realize that It still won cause he couldn’t save Stan. does anyone think he’d see Eddie die and watch as Richie wails and think of Stan. does anyone think he didn’t really try to pull Richie away from Eddie because he gets it. does anyone think he’d watch Neibolt House collapse and feel like Stan is still stuck in there too. does anyone think he’d jump into the quarry and remember how Stan would scream and pretend to be mad at Bill when they’d go to the quarry together because Bill would drag Stan down with him. does anyone think he’d look at Richie sobbing and wish he could do the same. does anyone think he’d be too numb to even try. does anyone think he’d leave Derry and feel like he’s leaving Stan behind despite Stan having died all the way in Atlanta. does anyone think he’d go home and not be able to cope anymore. does anyone think he’d read Stan’s letter and realize his feelings. does anyone think he’d look at the last line of the letter and almost rips the whole thing apart because he wants to know why Stan couldn’t have just stayed. does anyone think he’d write about a character with golden curls who loved birds. does anyone think he’d give him a happy ending. does anyone think-

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

"Eds?"

No answer. Richie tried again. "Eddie Spaghetti?"

There was shifting on the bed next to him. "Huh?"

Richie smiled wide. "I love you, Eds," he said, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend.

Eddie blushed. "I love you too." He leaned into Richie and they stayed like that until they fell back asleep.

[princess-glassred]

I was just listening to speak now by taylor swift and had a really great sad Lesbian Reddie idea.

So Edie and Rachel reconnect after god knows how many years, Edie is already married to her husband Myron and is about as miserable as you'd expect and Rachel casually drops that she's getting married next week to Connor Bowers. This utterly shakes Edie to her core and she begins to ruminate on it all week, unable to think about literally anything else but the fact Rachel is getting married. Edie isn't invited to the wedding since it's such short notice, the whole Bowers family hates her, and Rachel doesn't think she'd be interested in attending her small ass wedding. The upcoming marriage completely eats away at her until she can't take it anymore and abruptly leaves work to sneak in to the wedding.

She doesn't want to be seen by Rache or anyone else for that matter, so she dodges guests and hides behind curtains and furniture while she checks the church out. She even sneakily steals an boquet of flowers to cover her face when she sees Henry and Butch coming. It's a good thing she came right from work because her work clothes actually help her blend in better, but even then, she still looks like a mess. She's in this stupid professional black heels, a long skirt, a white blouse and the bun she has her hair in is about to come undone. While she runs around the venue she gets a brief glimpse of Rache in her wedding gown and she looks stunning, perfect heels, perfect hair, poofy dress, she looks like a princess. It's almost too perfect, to the point Edie doesn't think it suits her at all.

She takes her seat in the very back of the church pews and watches as Rachel's walks down the aisle to her fiance, and even as they're saying vows Edie's eyes refuse to look away from Rachel's face. Connor might as well be invisible. Meanwhile Edie can hear Henry and Butch talking about Rache in front of her, and the gross toxic heterosexuality radiating off them makes her wanna rip her skin off. Every gross joke they tell about Rache or comment they make about her body is taking every ounce of her strength to ignore, because she still can't force herself to blow her cover.

The time is drawing near for Rachel and Connor to say I do, and Edie wants to say something so so badly but she just keeps saying "not yet, not yet" over and over. It gets to the eventual "speak now or forever hold your peace" and it's officially go time. Now or never, Edie has to stand up and say something or else Rachel will never be hers... but even then, Edie cannot do it. Even now, at the final hour, all Edie can say is "Not yet.".

So they get married, and Edie can almost swear she saw Rachel's eyes glance over at her in recognition right before they kiss, but she honestly doesn't care anymore. She gets up and exits with the crowd, using the flood of people leaving to the reception as an excuse to bail out of there. Luckily any person who sees her crying will just mistake them for tears of joy for the newly weds. She runs to her car and after sitting in silence for a while, she starts driving home with the radio blasting. Her husband tries calling her but she's in such distress she just lets it ring. She pulls over at a cliffside over looking a nice beach and stares off at the sky, wondering if she's really gonna be happy as Rachel Bowers or if she just made the worst mistake of her life.

Without a doubt though, the worst part of all of this was that, unbeknownst to Edie, Rachel came very close to realizing she was there. They just missed each other by a hair, and before she could even wonder if she was seeing things or not, Connor was dragging her to their reception...