#eddie kaspbrak fic

[reddje]

[theartsharki]

Giggling against gravity.

Based on a moment in chapter 3 of this fic.

bonus:

[eddiekaspbrakirlsblog]

when I remember in IT chapter two that reddie were gonna leave TOGETHER I go insane like that whole scene where Richie’s like “Eduardo andele let’s go!” And when Eddie��s like “I just have to grab my toiletry bag and then we can go” WE CAN GO ???? WE ? AS IN TWO ? AS IN US TOGETHER ?????

[billcarden]

(I'M SORRY) EVERY SONG'S ABOUT YOU

in 2023, most people who know richie tozier know of him as a B-list comedian. but to elder emos and gay young adults on the internet, he's the frontman of shark puppy - a now-mostly-irrelevant pop punk band and former warped tour staple. he's mostly forgotten about his days in shark puppy, until people start to find his 15-year-old livejournal posts that they're speculating are about shark puppy's former tour manager, eddie kaspbrak.

read it on ao3 (and check out the reddiesance ao3 collection and tumblr tag for the 5 year anniversary of it chapter 2!)

[seecarrun]

Eddie is a horrible, awful, absolutely despicable human being.

But in his defense, tele-therepy should be illegal for anyone as loud as Richie Tozier.

Eddie wasn’t trying to overhear Richie’s session, honest! But the laundry room is right next to Richie’s office, and when Richie wears his headphones, he has an even harder time controlling the volume of his voice than normal, allowing Eddie to hear just about everything said on Richie’s side of the conversation.

Eddie was in the process of switching over his whites from the washer to dryer when he hears him, muffled but unmistakable, in the next room.

“I mean, I can’t just tell him,” Richie says. And after a beat, totally scandalized and kind of bitchy, answers, “Uh, he could hear me?”

Eddie snorts to himself at that, tossing a pair of briefs into the dryer.

“He doesn’t,” Richie says now, matter-of-factly. “He won’t.”

Eddie tries to hurry along the process a little, beginning to feel guilty about ease-dropping, but the next thing he hears gives him pause, despite himself.

“I don’t want to ruin what we have with my stupid feelings. I just got him back, the last thing I want to do is push him away again.”

Methodically, Eddie shakes out a dress shirt, slower and quieter than usual. For….no reason.

“I’m not ‘using negative self-talk’,” Richie gasps, offended, “I’m being honest with myself, which is something you told me I need to practice in my day-to-day, Julie.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, absolutely siding with Julie on this one. Richie has the worst habit of going down doom spirals, concocting ridiculous and unfounded hypothetical scenarios to talk himself out of believing anything that could make him feel joy.

It’s infuriating, especially because Eddie knows he does the same.

“You’d understand if you met him,” Richie continues, sounding sad and almost…wistful? “There’s no way Eddie could love me back.”

Eddie immediately slams the dryer door shut and bolts from the room, not even turning the dryer on in his haste to get as far away as quickly as possible, overcome in a mixture of guilt, shock, panic, and, he flushes, excitement.

Holy shit.

[greenandsorrow]

IF THE MONSTER UNDER YOUR BED NEVER HURT YOU, MAYBE IT WAS THERE TO PROTECT YOU. 🎈

Author's note; I used to have strange dreams as a kid. This story is heavily inspired by a series of dreams I had during my tween years.

Did you ever dream not of a scenario recurring, but continuing?

!!!!! The reader is a teenager. The relationships described in the fic are strictly platonic. My poor attempt at writing a threatening and scary environment is the only warning. And Pennywise is a warning himself I guess. This is a very weird, inner child, comfort thing for me... I apologise.

Dividers; @saradika-graphics - @cafekitsune - @strangergraphics

"Derry is a strange place. The fog settles low in the mornings, making the town look ghostly, almost unreal. The playgrounds are empty and quiet, swings moving slowly without any breeze. On foggy days, the whole town feels like a memory, faded and worn at the edges."

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4 (SOON)

If you managed to enjoy this shit, you made me very happy! Do you want to make me even happier? Support me here-> PayPal link ❤️

my masterlist

You can always ask to be tagged :)

Taglist; @satubby @sketchist-art @urdeftonesgrrrl

[it2017]

that teenage feeling!

fem! richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak, M rating, 50k words

Eddie responds, quietly, "I don't think I'm one of those girls." and Richie has the desire to shake her by the shoulders then - because Eddie always knows what she wants, but for some, inconceivable reason refuses to let herself have it. But Richie knew she’d be a huge fucking hypocrite to say that, as she held herself back from the only thing she’d ever truly wanted, frozen in place like an opossum playing dead, as if loving Eddie would kill her. Maybe it would. (or: Eddie Kaspbrak grows up shaped like a boy and molts into a woman. Richie Tozier is there the whole time.)

finally posting this fic in honor of the 5 year anniversary of IT chapter two :') hope u like it!!

ao3 + playlist

[lionleonora]

Reddie Fics for the Despairing It: Chapter Two Enjoyer

part of my unnamed "recommending non-classic fics for dead fandoms" series! this is a list of less well-known fics in the ITCH2 fandom, centered around reddie fics. these are all fics that i am passionate about, but you won't find them on the first three pages of ao3. if you're ready for something other than the classics, this is the list for you! organized in order of hits from least to most.

Revivified Death by ezlebe - something about me is that i love vampire fics, and vampire eddie. this features vampire eddie AND vampire richie—a treat! it's rated E, has some fun worldbuilding, and way fewer hits than i would expect (only 3,300!). some mentions of blood, but no crazy gore.

inertia and other properties of matter by skeilig - a “it’s always sunny in philadelphia” au, but not necessary at all to be familiar with the show! (i sure ain’t!) cool and seamless au worldbuilding, and some good mutual pining. plus, the gang is together and remembers each other! rated E.

your lips feel retro by kaspbrak_kid - the only T fic on here, but also teeth-achingly sweet! *stefon voice* this fic has everything—fake relationship, richie speaking at length about how much he loves eddie, multiple kiss scenes...plus some self-actualization + confidence boosts for eddie as he goes to his high school reunion!

push you out (pull you back in) by Anonymous - short, sweet, and sexy little one-shot! i don't usually go for established relationships, but i DO go for established relationships where each person has new and hidden depths of horniness that they have yet to reveal. enter this fic! rated E, and if you want more by this author, i'm preeeety sure i know who they are, but of course i'm just speculating.

the study of pathology by crescentluce - this is a sequel to crescentluce's fandom classic, the anatomy of a joke. this sequel is fantastic though! not as many people have read it, but it's absolutely worth it. told from eddie's perspective as he very quickly falls very hard in love with richie (though they've been dating for like, what. 30 minutes?). incredibly heartwarming and also super funny.

give a shape to this ache I have for you by youabird (nevulon) - i have a few all-time favorite fics that span multiple fandoms - this is one. this is a fic that i would take with me on a desert island. if this is the last reddie fic i could ever reread, it would be this one. featuring an eddie who is deeply unaware of his desires and desperately in love with richie. please please read this.

Health Improvement Planning for Dummies by glorious_spoon - a multi-chapter fic with a comparatively low hit count. dumbass for dumbass relationship, but also really hot. rated E!

hysteria when you're near by tempestbreak - this fic is fucking crazy, and i mean that in the best way. sex pollen is not common in this fandom (understandably - the worldbuilding is difficult) but this fic does it seamlessly and to great effect. an E-rated oneshot. this will literally change you.

Do you need anybody? by remusjohn - i am of the firm opinion that this should be a fandom classic. it's not quite there yet, but getting there! this is one of the first fandom fics i truly fell in love with, and also one of the only fics i've ever followed as it was posted! one of my favorite tropes is mutual pining WHILE they're having sex, and boy does this fic deliver. rated E. beautiful and fantastic.

Bonus: Author Recommendations!

organized in order of most to least fics written in fandom!

skeilig has a solid number of fics and a really interesting repertoire of AUs! as a purveyor of niche aus (REFERENCE TO MY BLOG??) i am very fond of the way they reimagine richie and eddie in a grounded, three-dimensional way.

glorious_spoon technically has fewer fics than skeilig, but they have a bunch more written anonymously for a kinkmeme event (i believe. something of that nature!). they write fantastically kinky, funny, and sweet stuff. if you're looking for something quick and satisfying (ayyyy) look through their library!

ezlebe is another in the ranks of "cool niche au authors." if you like supernatural creature reddie, or even just normal reddie, definitely look through their stuff! they have a unique voice and should be way more famous in the fandom imo.

remusjohn has the fewest amount of works in this list, but every one of them hits like a goddamn truck. they've written classics, they've written unknown fics—they've done it all! definitely check out their stuff for emotional smut and mutual pining!

thanks for sticking around this long! reddie is quite dead, but it will always be very close to my heart. reddie matters to me. i'm glad it and its writers matter to you too!

[dsudis]

Fic Rec: Fingers Crossed That I'm Something You'll Keep by @thefourthvine

So I have acquired a stepkid this year without going through any of the obvious formalities that usually lead to stepkids, which has been a whole thing we don't need to get into. It mainly means that I am, for the first time, experiencing the wonder of getting emails and messages of all kinds from an elementary school. It also means that on an average day I have the brain capacity to reread really good fic, maybe, if I am lucky.

Which means it took me close to a week to get through rereading this fabulous fic about a guy becoming an assistant secretary at an elementary school and falling in love with The Most Difficult Parent the school has to deal with. Apparently they are characters from It? I looked up the plot summary halfway through reading the fic for the first time, but mostly this is a story about someone who really does not feel like he knows how to be an adult or a human being, tripping and falling into a real life, and real love, anyway.

It also has a criminally small number of kudos and comments for such a brilliant fic, so. Please go read it!

[lavenderstarsx]

The Drawing (Bill Denbrough)

Pairing: Bill Denbrough x Reader

Summary: One day when you were in the library a drawing falls out of a book you were reading- and the drawing eerily looks exactly like you.

Word Count: 1.5k

——————-

You made your way slowly to The Derry Library. The fall weather was now in full effect and you couldn’t help the feeling of the slight chill you felt while you walked. You were looking for more interesting books at the library- currently you were reading ‘The Great Gatsby’ which you knew was a classic- but it was required reading so by that criteria it made it fairly boring. You opened up the door to the brick building and stepped inside. Almost no one was there. It was in fact a weekend so not a lot of people liked to spend their two free days in a dusty old building that probably had a rat infestation. You did see someone you recognized there. The boy you saw was Ben Hanscom. He had his head in a book. You barely knew Ben- the only reason why you even recognized him was because he sat with Bill Denbrough at lunch. Ben had just joined the little friend group that called themselves ‘The Losers Club.’ Bill was in many of your classes. You pretended not to notice him but- man was it hard to. Bill took up most of your thoughts. You memorized the way he laughed- even though it was rare and almost only came out when the Tozier boy whispered an inappropriate joke into his ear during a lesson. Your friends didn’t approve of Bill. They usually called him a ‘freak’ or ‘weirdo.’ You mostly ignored them because in your eyes, Bill was perfect. He was kind, caring, and respectful. Something that half the school wasn’t. Then you snapped back out of your thoughts. You headed towards the fantasy section. You read a lot of fantasy books now ever since you rewatched The Princess Bride a couple weeks ago. You looked through a ton of books but none of them seemed good enough for you. Then you saw one- it looked rather basic. The book had a huge red dragon on the front with a knight giving a cheesy smile next to it. You quickly read the blurb on the back before slightly opening it. A medium sized piece of paper comes gracefully falling from the book. You quickly look around before picking the paper up. You froze. The drawing looked exactly like you. It had your signature y/h/c colored hair. It was like looking into a mirror. The drawing wasn’t signed but it did look weirdly familiar.

“Do you need any help, dear?” An older librarian woman asks you. You practically jump out of your skin when she says this.

“No ma’m i’m fine.” You say gingerly. You try to hide your blush as you find a table to start reading on. You picked the table behind Ben. You thought it would have been too awkward or weird to sit right next to the boy. You could barely focus on your book, you kept finding yourself staring at the drawing of you. You were terrified but also mesmerized at the same time. You decided to leave the library not long after. You held the drawing and your book close to your chest. On your way out of the library you gave Ben a small smile before opening the door back into the chilly air. You walked back home, and when you got to your room you quickly put your new book down and flopped onto your mattress. You stared at the drawing for a while. The detail was so intricate that it got your exact eye color down too.

Finally it was the end of the day, you were now in your pajamas and you were now ~finally~ reading the book you had gotten from the library. You found yourself enjoying the book a lot more. You slowly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning you had to get ready for school. You chose a pair of jeans and a navy blue long sleeved shirt. You quickly brush your hair before rushing out the door. You made sure to grab the new book that you had just gotten and stuff it into your backpack. The bike ride to school was nice. You thankfully didn’t run into anyone from The Bowers Gang and you made it easily to school. The drawing was still in the back of your mind.

“Hey y/n!” You hear your friend, f/n shout to you. You quickly lock up your bike and rush towards them. You smile at them. They start talking about their weekend- which was not truly THAT interesting but you still smile and nod your head. You were more of a listener type. You and your friend walked to class together. But that’s when you saw him. Bill was walking to the same class as you. He was walking with Stanley Uris. Bill then had decided to hold open the door for you and f/n. You tried to hide your blush as you say,

“Thanks Bill”

“No pro-b-le-m y/n.” Bill then gave you a smile which made your heart melt to the core. You and f/n quickly went to your seats. You sat exactly behind Bill. The teacher started teaching the class but it was terribly hard to focus. Bill Denbrough, had given YOU a smile. You couldn’t help but to smile yourself. Bill also didn’t seem to be focusing. He seemed to be writing something in his notebook instead, you narrow your eyes to see if you could read anything of it. You didn’t want to seem stalker-ish so you pretended to be looking at the chalk board. But that’s when you see what Bill was doing- he wasn’t writing he was drawing. Bill wasn’t doing much to hide what he was doing. He seemed to be drawing a girl. Suddenly you feel Bill’s eyes shift. You and him caught eachother’s eyes. Shit. Bill then turns a bright shade of red and hides the notebook away from you.

That was odd.

The class went by quickly. In your head you tried to connect the dots. And that’s when you realize- what if Bill was the one to draw that picture of you? He had to- the style of drawing looked exactly like the picture of you did. Why would Bill draw you?

Throughout the day, you found yourself distracted. The thought of Bill and his drawings lingered as you walked to your next class. You kept replaying the events of the morning in your mind. Bill’s drawing, and the drawing from the library looked all too familiar. It was too much of a coincidence. Right?

Finally it came time for lunch. You spotted Bill with his friends. They were all gathered together. You feel a pang of jealousy as you sit with at your own lunch table. You glanced at Bill. He seemed distracted in thought. You decided to gather your courage and decided to walk towards The Losers’ table. When you reached the table everyone went silent. They all gave you a weird look. Everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Hey uh- Bill can I talk to you- for just a quick second?” You say.

Bill gave you a surprised look before nodding a yes. You and Bill find a quiet place on the stairwell that led to the cafeteria. You tried to ignore the curious stares of all of Bill's friends.

“Wh-at is i-t y/n?” Bill asked.

You take a deep breathe before pulling the drawing from your backpack.

“I- i found this in a book at the library yesterday,” You held out the drawing to Bill. “Did you uh- well draw it? I saw you drawing in class today and it looks alike to this one.” Bill’s eyes widened as he studied the drawing.

“Ye-a-h I did.” Bill admitted- he did look very embarrassed. You felt weird. You felt every emotion possible and something else that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“But why did you draw me?” You said the sentence quickly. Bill blushed.

"Be-because I… I like you," Bill replied, looking down. He was clearly embarrassed.

You froze as blood rushed to your cheeks. "You do?" you asked.

"Y-yes. And I, uh, have for a wh-while," Bill stuttered.

"I like you too, Bill," you revealed. You felt as though you were going to pass out, you were so happy.

Bills eyes widened again. He looked down meeting your gaze.

“Re-ally?” Bill questioned. A very small, shy smile formed on his lips.

You smiled, unable to control the large grin on your face.“Yeah, really.”

For a moment both of you stood there like time itself had stopped. Bill took a tiny step forward.

“So- u-h wh-at now?” Bill asked sheepishly.

You let out a small laugh trying to ease the tension,

“Do you want to go to the movies with me this weekend?” You replied.

Bill’s smile grew,

“I w-ould li-ke that.”

[f4llingst4rb0y]

Yk how in the movies when the guy would spray some weird type of shit in his mouth before kissing a girl?

That's Richie but with sour candy spray before kissing Eddie

[theartsharki]

Had to draw these two because of a post I saw by @sunshinereddie . This post specifically, it just made me smile thinking about it!

[eddiekaspbrakirlsblog]

reddie are so funny bc how the fuck are you gonna be in a IDGAF war for over 27 years and then one of you fucking dies

[chiniichee]

do we fw a reddie as spideypool au or no.. eddie as spiderman and richie as deadpool..

[watchoutforthefanfics]

goodbye for now || Reddie (IT)

AVAILABLE ON AO3 (SOON)

Inspiration: ^^^ this amazing art by @you-are-braver-than-you-think + I love you by Billie Eilish

Summary: Richie was ready to leave Derry. But that doesn't mean he's ready to leave everything in it.

TWs: crying, saying goodbye, angst, hurt/no comfort, the Forgetting (idk what to call it) and mention of the 27 years.

[[A/N: This one fucking hits. So be warned. Enjoy :)) ]]

Richie didn't believe in wanderlust. The whole longing for something bigger, better. Or that, one day, he'd want to leave Derry.

Not because it wasn't a shithole, it definitely fucking was. He knew that ever since that summer when their whole lives were changed (he still stared at the scar on his hand sometimes). Even still, he never in his heart felt like he wanted to leave his friends -they'd been through so much shit that he'd knew they would be there forever. Or at least, he thought they would be.

But then, people started leaving. Promising that they would write, that they would call.

And Richie watched their cars leave -chasing them with his bike the first time, waving so enthusiastically he almost fell off. But as time went by, they disappeared and there was nothing. Nothing from anybody. It changed.

The hugs lasted longer, and he cried a little more. All of them did. Because even though they said they'd call, or even fucking write, it never happened. It was like as soon as they left, Derry was just gone. Richie eventually learned to stop waiting.

Richie Tozier didn't believe in wanderlust when he was ten. But as he got older, colleges were reaching out and the world was at his fingertips, and well, teenage Richie Tozier believed in wanderlust. Magazines of monuments and letters from colleges, he wanted to fucking go.

Derry felt like a cage, and Richie was ready to open the door.

But it wasn't that easy.

Not as he stared at the acceptance letter from the University of California Los Angeles. Not as he saved up for an apartment with his shitty icecream parlor job (his parents wanted to help him, but they wanted him to earn it too) wage. Not as he got fucking excited about the idea of making more of himself than dirty bathroom walls (and a carving on the kissing bridge).

And especially not as he looked into the eyes of Eddie Kaspbrak and told him that this was his last summer in Derry.

"What?"

"Eds," he was laughing, but it felt like his heart was ripped open, "-I got accepted into UCLA a couple of months before we graduated. And I'm... starting in the fall."

"What?" Eddie repeated, and he watched his face twist into something Richie fucking hated (hurt), "-Why the fuck didn't you tell me that shit?"

"I didn't want to make this any worse," Richie answered honestly.

"Richie, it's fucking June," Eddie retorted, something deep and heavy in his words, "-and you're leaving in like two months and you didn't fucking tell me?"

Richie had debated it for a long time. But as he watched Eddie live out his senior year, the most free he's ever been, the decision was easy. He wouldn't ruin it for him, and, selfishly, didn't want to ruin it for himself. Make everything sadder than it already fucking was (with 3 missing faces and no contact to show for it). Because he just... god, he wanted this with Eddie. He just wanted to feel fucking happy with Eddie-

And that was a whole other thing. Richie had realized just what exactly Eddie was to him when he was 11 years old and he carved into that fucking bridge. He knew what it was, and what that meant he was. He knew that. And maybe that's why wanted to go to California. And maybe, he just wanted to remember that shit with him happily. Just in case-

"I know, Eds," he breathed out, feet dangling off the Quarry cliff -his shitty car parked just off the road, "-I'm so fucking sorry. But I wasn't going to fuck up our last year."

"It's not like we're fucking dying, idiot," Eddie retorted.

But it kinda was.

Richie knew that he'd fucking call Eddie, or even write him, whatever the fuck he wanted. He knew, if he could help it, he'd talk to him every fucking day, see him every summer, but shit... shit didn't work out that way. Everyone else said the same things, and now... now there were only 3.

Richie hadn't heard from Bev in years. Fuck, Stanley (his best friend before the Losers even existed) hadn't even called him once.

But he hoped to fucking god that wouldn't be him.

"No, we aren't fucking dying, but-" Richie relented, but it felt like a lie, "-our lives are changing. There's no going back to high school, where we're fucking together all the time."

"No, Richie," Eddie's face was pushed into a flat line, "-your life is changing. I'm gonna fucking... rot here in this shithole, by myself-"

"Eds, I told you-"

"I know what you said," Eddie sighed, turning out to the water -Richie wanted him to look at him, "-It's just not fucking happening. You know that. Ma is never-"

"You'll get away from her, Eds," Richie interrupted, "-You can't let her control you forever."

Eddie wrung his hands together and didn't look at him. Richie felt like throwing up, he just knew it would end up this way. He really didn't want to fucking leave Eddie.

They talked about Eddie coming too, running away. But then, his Mom got sick. And well, Eddie would hate himself if he left her -helpless. And Richie spent nearly every day trying to convince him differently, it hurt in his fucking chest when Eddie refused. Every time.

But he needed to fucking leave-

"I can't do that shit without you," Eddie leveled, looking at him, "-I can't... I can't stand up to her without you."

"Yes, you fucking can," Richie argued, shoving into his arm, "-You're brave as shit, Eddie. We fought a demon clown before hitting fucking puberty-"

"I did that with you guys!" Eddie burst, frustrated and Richie might've seen tears in his eyes, "-I did it with everyone. I'm not... Fuck, I can't do it alone. I don't wanna be alone."

Richie frowned, gnawing at his lips, "You're not alone, Eds. You'll never be fucking alone as long as I'm alive-"

Eddie was just staring at him, big brown eyes dusted with tears. Richie felt like his heart was ripped out of his chest, it just fucking hurt-

"-Eddie, even if I... even if I don't do anything like call or write letters, I'm still here for you-"

"Don't-" Eddie frowned, "-Don't say that shit."

"-Eddie, no, you need to hear this-" Richie leveled, putting his hands on his shoulders, "-If I don't talk to you, it's not up to me. I don't... I don't know why it's happening. But I swear to fucking god, I would come back to you, or at least fucking talk to you, okay?"

Eddie was crying now, wiping at his eyes like he was much younger (Richie flashed back a moment), "Yeah, okay."

The summer was, as expected, bittersweet. Richie knew it would be, but he kept it light-hearted or tried to with everyone not just Eddie. But still, it was heavy. In the clubhouse, which was so hard to be in now, there was something in the air. It sucked, but it was gonna happen. He knew it was gonna happen. So, he tried to make it the best summer of his life, of all of their lives.

He thinks it worked. He thinks he had a good impact. He thinks they'll remember this, or he'll try his fucking hardest to.

And then, it was August.

Richie had been packing up since late July, and Eddie made himself comfortable helping. ("You need to be fucking organized so you know where your shit is, asshole.") And Richie let him. He was pretty sure he'd let Eddie Kaspbrak do anything, honestly. So, he'd labeled boxes and argued why he "shouldn't take fucking everything you own, Richie", and danced around just what was happening. They didn't talk about that conversation over the summer, they didn't even touch the fact that he was leaving -not even over his packed fucking boxes.

Eddie just didn't seem to want to touch it, and Richie honestly didn't either. This felt normal, the bickering, even though the reason they were doing it all hung over everything like a fucking storm cloud. They still acted normal, like Richie wasn't leaving, like he was gonna stay right there. They were gonna stay. Together.

He wanted that so bad it burned, but Richie fucking needed out. It was time.

And then, it was the day.

Richie was silently packing up the last box, and taping it shut. And Eddie scribbled on the front with his insanely perfect handwriting -comics.

It was quiet, too quiet. Eddie was still crouched down, staring at the box, the words. And Richie was staring at him. Unabashedly. He thinks he should be allowed to now. And the thought crossed his mind of finally telling him, bubbled along his skin. As he watched Eddie's eyes trace the letters for the 10th time, it felt like it was on the tip of his tongue.

Richie cleared his throat -voice a little scratchy, turning toward his old bed (grabbing something under the mattress), an extra comic. A special one.

Wordlessly, Richie extended it forward.

Eddie eyed him for a second, standing up -glance landing on the comic.

"Are you fucking serious?" Eddie hissed out, "-You forgot one? You're such a-"

"Eds," Richie leveled -seriously, extending it forward -shaking it a little.

Eddie's lips snapped shut, and his eyes dropped from Richie's to the comic in his hand.

It was one they used to fight over when they were younger. He remembered particularly being on the hammock, Eddie's head on his shoulder (cussing him out when he moved too fast, but doing the very same when he moved too slow), and peeking glances when he was focused on reading. Because he was Eddie, and Richie felt a lot then. Still does, but he knows what it is now.

Eddie raised a hand, hesitantly, and pulled the book into his hands. Naturally, he started flipping through it -red pen sticking out on the page.

"I wrote notes," Richie pointed awkwardly, "-like um, like commentary. So..."

Eddie was silent, flipping through the pages -not looking up. Richie just kept talking.

"-So, it was like I was still here. Saying stupid shit."

Eddie laughed a little, something caught up in his throat. He swallowed once, heavily, eyes blinking a little too fast.

Fuck, don't cry, Eds. If you cry, I don't know if I can fucking leave.

"If you talk about fucking my Mom, I'm burning it."

Richie laughed, something heavy on your shoulders, "Well, you better get the fucking matches, Eds."

Eddie laughed a little more, finally looking up at him. The laugh faded, his smile slipping, and his eyes were the same big ass brown ones, but now they were teary. And he was just staring at him, his face falling further each second that passed. Richie felt like he was ripping out his heart and leaving it here with Eddie. It hurt so fucking bad-

And then, before Richie could even blink, Eddie was in his arms -face shoved into his shoulder.

Richie's eyes were watery now, his chest aching, and he wrapped his arms around him, unhesitatingly. He could feel Eddie's shaky breaths against him, wracking through his lungs. And Richie pulled him tighter, pressing the side of his face into Eddie's. God, he never wanted to forget him, please don't let me fucking forget him-

"Promise you'll write?" Eddie breathed out, heavy breaths against his shoulder.

And even though, they'd talked about the outcomes and the fact that, if he didn't, it wasn't up to him, something was happening. Richie still answered the same.

Squeezing him a little tighter, he whispered -maybe through bleary tears, "I promise."

They stayed like that for a while, and Richie felt it on the tip of his tongue. It almost came out with every breath.

Eddie, I love you. I think I've loved you my whole life.

It didn't come out.

Not as he and his Dad and Eddie packed all his boxes into his shitty ass car's trunk. Not as they forced his trunk closed. Not as Eddie angrily told him to take the necessary stops, don't skip meals, and stay hydrated ("Don't fall asleep on the road, dipshit."). Not as his Dad grabbed his gas can and filled Richie's tank. Not as his Mom hugged him, crying. Not as his Dad patted his shoulder and told him to "Take on the world, son". Not as he, Ben, Mike, and Eddie crowded together into a hug so tight that it hurt. Not as Eddie threw himself into Richie again (on his own), all angry edges and sharp pointy elbows ("Promise?" "Promise."). Not as he pulled himself into the driver's seat, aching like he had ripped off a limb. Not as he stared into the rearview mirror, watching as his friends waved and Eddie stared -waving so desolately that it was like he was going to war. Not even as he pulled out of Derry, and Eddie followed the car as far as he could (Ben and Mike pulling him back). Not as the trees flew by his windows, and his eyes teared up -road blurry and sobs wracking through his chest.

But as he got further along, it lessened. He stopped feeling so heavy, wondering why he felt that way before anyway. The towns passed by and he got out, hitting tourist spots (taking pictures and not being sure who to send them to). And then, he was in California, and everything felt fresh.

Pulling up to his apartment building, he trucked up the stairs over and over -boxes piling up in the empty room. When it was all inside, Richie laid down on the floor -letting a big breath out of his lungs. And then, he moved on autopilot.

Digging into his boxes, he found a piece of paper and pencil, pulled a box toward him, and set it down -throwing the pencil to the paper.

Richie blinked once.

He was supposed to write something, he felt it in his bones but he couldn't remember what, or maybe who to write to. But he was fucking supposed to, it was so... visceral.

Richie felt so... He felt something he'd never felt before, an ache in his bones. And just as everything seemed so happy, there was something nagging at him-

He scribbled along the paper, just what he felt (no header, no name).

I think I loved you.

Shaking his head once, Richie blinked and grabbed the paper, crumpling it up, and throwing it into a corner (the apartment really was fucking empty). This feeling would go away. If it mattered, he'd know.

And then, a year went by.

Eddie Kaspbrak arrived in New York, unpacking as soon as he got into his apartment. Digging through his boxes, his fingers dusted along some paper, maybe a magazine. Why the hell did I pack a magazine?

He pulled it out and eyed it for a second.

An old comic book. His eyes flicked along a red pen on the front, Return to Richie Tozier. Eddie pulled it open, skimming over the pages -hinging on red marks. They were shitty jokes, he noted.

Did I get this from some fucking second-hand store? Why? It's fucking ruined.

Eddie shut it and stared at the name again. Richie Tozier. He wondered for a second who he was, like a lot of people did with original owners of their shit, and felt something nagging in his mind. Richie Tozier, he repeated.

Nothing.

He pressed his lips together and although he didn't know shit about it (or why he fucking had it), he carefully placed it onto a table -away from anything else. He'd look at it later, maybe figure out why he kept it.

It ended up forgotten, slid into a bookshelf.

None of it would make sense. Not until 2 phone calls, 2 trips, and the hitting of a gong.

Then... Then, it would make a lot of fucking sense.

[wolftozier]

reddie reincarnation au. every time they reincarnate at least one of them dies before they can finally get together. richie remembers everything (including how many times he's failed to finally confess) and eddie remembers nothing but always, always falls in love with richie again anyway