#pls lmk if you want me to change any shit

[keshimasu]

He's dead asleep when the doctor wakes him. It remains instinct to swat away away the hand like his mother is trying to shake him awake late for school. Shouta can't remember the last time she did that-god does she even know or care that he's missing or is he listed as dead-and though they hadn't parted on great terms, she'd never fisted a hand in his hair and yanked him to his feet. The coward is too short to actually do the job, a 'real' nomu has to do it. It's still one of the kinder ways his day starts.

Shouta's dragging fatigue twists to a flash of fury at the indignation at being shoved out of his relatively nice dark room into light that makes his headache rear. He knows better, but he's tired and everything hurts down to the bone and he just wants to hit something. Hard. He's not opposed to losing a few strands or dislocating a shoulder to vent that anger. A punch is too short range for the situation. His foot connects solidly with Garaki's back, making a satisfying thud of boot on bone.

The fact that he falls sputtering on his face is just extra. In Shouta's sleep deprived state, it's hilarious. Even if he can't laugh, the painful rasping sound just doesn't have the same effect, he can grin. A moment of successful autonomy is worth being held up by his hair as legs cave to what very well could be molten steel in his veins. How that little trick is pulled off, whether it's quirk or remote activated, he doesn't know. It doesn't matter.

Breath wheezes out of his lungs as nomu hauls him down the hall, too many nerves and muscles misfiring to coordinate body enough to trudge under his own power. Humiliating but still not the worst. No worse than feeling eyes that were not his own open to send heroes crashing to the ground or spending days bound to a table trying to fight off invading genes like an infection.

His eyes - the real ones the real ones the real

Don't open don't open keep them closed they're not his none of this is his him anymore

His eyes, only two, still burn too much to open yet all of them squeeze shut. If it was a job he would’ve been given the details before which means it’s something else. Maybe he’s displeased the master again and they’d had this conversation before so clearly Shouta hadn’t been paying enough attention the first time. He never was a great student.

A door shuts, when did they get to another room where is he, and an eye on his hand catches a glimpse of a chair and table. Both are standard metal, bolted to the floor. He doesn’t have time to process more before large arm finally lets go of his hair in favor of firmly planting him in the seat. It rams his forehead into the table, which he now notices is slightly lower than normal and makes his neck bend uncomfortably, but the message is clear. Don’t move.

Heart pounds so loud in his ears he almost misses the nomu leaving. But it’s not a normal set up, there aren’t even any restraints and the doctor is tying his hair up with the hands of a man who’s never even done a ponytail. If he wanted, there’s an eye on shoulder blade that would have a clear view with how loose black fabric pools around hunched shoulders. He’s never wanted to see Garaki work and knowing what was coming wouldn’t change anything.

For all his nerves, Shouta doesn’t flinch at cool alcohol at the junction where neck becomes back. He doesn’t flinch at the sharp jab of a needle or excruciatingly slow scalpel through skin muscle no fat to bone. His hands shake and he blames it on the chill in his veins. Sensation pricks painfully like pins around the open wound but there’s no rush of blood. His infuriatingly sluggish brain takes several moments to connect the dots. There’s no way in hell they trust him enough to remove the implant in his spine serving as a bean sized shock collar. Replacement maybe or upgrade.

The table is blissfully cold on his rapidly overheating skin. It would be better if he just passed out now but he’s never been that lucky. He forces an unsteady breath in through his nose and clamps jaw against rising anxious nausea. One set of footsteps is replaced with another this one heavier like someone wearing those dumb thick platform boots. Eye on his wrist peeks at leather pants. He wishes he could hide face under mountains of dark hair for some semblance of anonymity. Not exposed pulled open under harsh fluorescents. The tie snaps to unseen pressure and black falls over his head. If only he could telekinetically fling the stranger into the wall.

- @djsouled

[lovelettersfromluna]

Welcome to the Party

Summary: what’s worse than your older brother?…..his extremely attractive best friend

an: this Ellie has been living rent fucking free in my head and I absolutely cannot carry on any longer without writing about her…..also my last Ellie fic was sickly sweet I need some mean!Ellie to soothe the burn 😌 (also credit to @absdoll for writing Ellie as someone who listens to PartyNextDoor?? That is a HUGE reason that inspired me to write this bc that is absolutely so very accurate)

Warnings: SMUT!!! MDNI!!! 18+ ONLY!!, angst!, toxic!Ellie, mean!Ellie, brothersbestfriend!Ellie, Ellie is just all around a piece of shit in this one idk, oral (r!receiving), mentions of alcohol, mentions of weed, Usage of the word slut, slight degradation, there’s a brief scene with reader and Jesse but they aren’t flirting I promise Ellie is just delusional, pls lmk if I missed anything!

“Please honeybee? It’ll only be for a little while. Your father and I will be back before you know it, just in time for you to go back with your friends” your mothers voice rang through the phone, her tone gentle and reassuring as she spoke to you.

You exhaled loudly in annoyance, toying with the hem of your sleep shorts as you laid in your bed, a soft pout on your face as you stayed silent for a moment, contemplating your mother’s wish.

“Baby? Are you there?” She tried. You can practically hear the way she bites her lip, chewing on the skin as she awaited your response.

“I….you do realize that Derek is the oldest sibling, right? Isn’t he supposed to be the one making sure I’m not getting in trouble?” You huff out, still holding out on giving her an answer to her request of you.

You hear her sigh over the line at the mention of your older brother. “I know sweetheart…but your father and I just need you to make sure he doesn’t burn the house down while we’re away. I’m sure it’ll only be him and Ellie there anyways” she tries assuring you.

But the mention of the girls name has your skin running cold.

It makes you pinch the bridge of your nose, inhaling deeply as you truly try to outweigh your options at hand.

Your brother was a fucking moron, and you knew that the minute he heard your parents were going away for the summer, he jumped at the opportunity to ‘house sit’. It was almost comedic how clueless he was, your parents knowing your older sibling far too well to know that he’d tear the house down brick by brick unsupervised, especially with his partner in crime there with him.

So it left your poor mother to ask her baby (you), to stay the summer at their house, just to make sure things didn’t get too out of hand.

The minute she called and asked you to go down there, your entire summer had changed. All of the plans you made with your friends at university, the trips you were to make with them, all suddenly fizzled out as you were faced with the task to spend the summer with your idiotic brother and his bully of a best friend.

As much as you wanted to say no, tell your parents to figure it out or simply tell your brother he couldn’t stay there for his break, you simply couldn’t find it in yourself to do that. Your parents were amazing to say the least, and the one time they actually chose to go away for the summer in one of the first times since you were born, you’d feel like an absolute villain to take that away from them.

You let out a low sigh before you finally spoke. “I’ll be there mom….you won’t have to worry about anything” you assured her, the sound of her sighing in relief putting a gentle smile on your face.

“Oh baby you are an angel. Your father and will come home as soon as we can, okay?” She assures you, to which you give a gentle chuckle before you nod.

“Have fun, okay? Tell daddy I said hi…I love you” you mumble out gently through the phone, bidding your goodbye to the woman before you hang up, letting out a loud sigh you’d seemingly been holding from the moment your mother asked you to go back home for the summer.

And as you stared up at your ceiling, you began to really think about it all. How bad could it possibly be?? It wasn’t like you were all kids still, there was no way Ellie and your brother would torment you the same way they used to when you were all younger, not when you were all adults in college, right?

Right?

You let out a soft sigh as you drove down the familiar road to your parents house, the street quiet as everyone there had similar situations to your mother and father, empty nesters who had time to get away for the summer.

Pulling into the driveway gives you a bit of relief, as you notice your brother hadn’t gotten there yet, which you could only chalk up to him and Ellie waking up entirely too late after a night of partying to get to the house at a decent time.

Some things just never changed do they?

Your brother and Ellie had been friends since elementary school, the two of them glued at the hip for almost as long as you could remember. While you really couldn’t stand the two of them, you had to say the perseverance of their friendship was kind of remarkable. You couldn’t take their bond away from them, no one could.

One day the house was only filled with your parents and your older sibling, the next there’s an extra person.

Ellie.

Things were fine in the beginning, the three of you would actually play all together for the most part. Sure, they would tease you and leave you out of certain things, but that’s what older siblings did. You were no stranger to the little sister treatment.

Things changed when they got to high school though.

The two of them started a year before you obviously, leaving you behind in middle school. You’d been through it with the transition from elementary to middle school, so you weren’t too worried. In fact, having the two of them enrolled before you was comforting in a way. It at least gave you a sense of belonging since you knew at least two people there.

But oh were you wrong.

Because in true teenage boy fashion, who the hell would want their little sister trailing behind them? No your brother and Ellie were far too cool for that, the two of them already the talk of the entire school, everyone wanting to be their friend. It was always like that, the dynamic duo absolutely stealing the hearts of everyone around them. They simply couldn’t have you asking for help on where your classes were, or even worse, having you eat lunch with them.

You weren’t even given the cold shoulder, they were just outright mean. Your brother wasn’t so bad, brushing you off and telling you to go somewhere else.

But Ellie? Oh she was vile.

She’d say the meanest things to get you to leave, laughing under her breath whenever you’d pass by, she’d even go out of her way to make her entire friend group ignore you for a week, pretending you didn’t exist at all.

Yeah, high school is when things got really bad.

You have up on keeping the familiar sibling bond you had with your brother rather quickly during your time in high school with him, ignoring the both of them when they were around, only really interacting with him whenever Ellie wasn’t with him, which was extremely rare.

Soon, you were going off to university, and you were able to live a life that wasn’t in your cool older brother’s shadow. You were able to be you, and thrive in a way that you really weren’t able to before.

You loved college for that.

But now you were back home where it all started, without the protection of mommy and daddy on top of that too.

You groaned softly as you finally brought the last of your things up to your room, sighing softly as you looked around at the familiar space, thinking about just how much time you’d be spending there for the next month and however many weeks.

You were almost done filling your empty drawers with your clothes when you heard the familiar roar of your brother’s black Jeep pull up the driveway outside, a familiar brunette sat in the passenger seat.

The plan was to steer clear of them entirely while you were all there. You were only there for your moms peace of mind, and you truthfully did not care what Ellie and your brother got up to for the summer, as long as it meant your parents house stayed in tact.

However once you’re finished packing and you decide to make your way downstairs to get a feel for things before they both arrive (or so you thought), you were only met with the sound of your brother and Ellie complaining very loudly as they walk in through the front door.

“I told you I don’t know! My dad said it was cool if we crashed here, they didn’t mention anything about her being here too.” Derek groans loudly, lugging his suitcase in behind him, unknowing of your presence stood in the very kitchen that he was walking in to.

You turn your head to catch the two of them walking in, your brother sighing in defeat as Ellie groans loudly behind him, throwing her head back in annoyance. “Do you know how much of a fuckin’ cock block she’s gonna be? I swear to god if she tries to so much as complain about the shit we’re having I’m gonna-“ you watch as your brother jabs his elbow into Ellie’s side, trying to get her to shut up once he spots you in the kitchen.

You roll your eyes as you close the fridge door shut. “It’s nice to see you too Ellie” you sigh out softly as you turn around, resting your forearms against the island counter top, leaning your hips against the edge as you watch the both of them eye you expectantly, your best guess being they wanted an explanation.

“What are you doing here?” Your brother mumbles out awkwardly, arms crossing over his chest as he gives neglects to even greet you properly.

You sigh softly before you shrug. “Mom called me and asked me to make sure you guys didn’t do anything stupid. Trust me, I’m just as upset as you are that I’m here” you mumble out, eyes casting downwards as your fingers trace along the pattern of the smooth counter top.

Ellie scoffs softly, mimicking your brother’s stance as her tattooed arms go to cross over her chest as well. “Is this some kind of sick joke? What are you even supposed to do anyways? Keep us in line or something?” Ellie barks out, obviously annoyed and wounded over the fact that your parents didn’t trust her.

You have to hold back a laugh, biting down on your bottom lip as you give her a shrug. “That’s something you gotta take up with the owner of the house, which unfortunately for you is not my brother” you hum out, your tone a tad playful as you give your brother a knowing look before rounding the table.

“Your summer is gonna be fine. In all honesty I couldn’t give a single fuck what you two do, just do it without breaking anything.” you explain, your tone softer as you eye Ellie for a moment.

You had to bite back a smirk when you caught a glimpse of their faces. Your brother was shocked with the way you were acting, his eyebrows raised and jaw slightly agape as you made your way upstairs.

Ellie on the other hand? She looked like she wanted to kill someone. Here you were, her best friends little sister, practically granting her entire summer a death sentence by your presence, at least that’s what it felt like. Her eyebrows were furrowed, nostrils flared, and you swore you could even catch her freckled cheeks growing pink with the anger that bubbled up inside of her.

And to be quite honest? It felt good.

Ellie was being ruthless

While you couldn’t say you didn’t expect it, you didn’t think it would be this bad. You of course knew that they’d be upset about you being there, but your brother’s reaction to the entire thing was much closer to what you prepared for than what Ellie was exhibiting. He was confused to say the least, but that didn’t mean he was rude to you. It was the same as any other time you and your brother were with each other, you weren’t close by any means, but you were his little sister.

Ellie on the other hand? She was like a bat out of hell.

You thought when they first got there, that would be the only time you’d get a taste of Ellie’s annoyance with your presence. You were adults after all, and there was no way she’d make your entire stay there a living hell, even when you weren’t the one that had the bright idea of staying there anyways.

Oh were you wrong.

That same night, you decided to make somewhat of a peace offering. You were honest in your words to them earlier, you didn’t have any interest in raining on their parade. Ruining their summer did little to nothing for you, even if they went out of their way to taunt and tease you when you were a kid, you didn’t dwell on any of that.

You prided yourself as somewhat of a good cook. You took over meals once you were old enough to stand at the stove without your parents doting over you, begging you to not burn yourself. Once you passed that hurdle, you all came to the realization that you were pretty good in the kitchen. You could even recall certain times where Ellie and your brother would ask you to make something for them, further proving your skills.

So while they were both in the front yard playing basketball, you knew they’d work up an appetite once they came inside. You took it upon yourself to start working on something with what your parents had in the fridge.

You were far too lost in thought once you got into it, humming softly to yourself as you stirred up what you were working on in a pan. You barely heard your brother and Ellie walk in together, chucking to each other at something Ellie was saying. The two were engulfed in the aroma of your yummy cooking the second they walked in, watching as you worked your way around the kitchen to cook something up for the two of them.

“You cooked?” Your brother asks curiously, moving to rest his forearms on the island as he watched you.

You hummed softly as you nodded, keeping your eyes on the various pots on the stove. “There wasn’t much in the fridge, so I’ll have to go food shopping tomorrow maybe…but I figured you’d both be hungry” you finally turn around, giving them both a half smile.

Your brother nodded, seemingly opening his mouth to thank you for the kind gesture, his stomach already grumbling for a taste of whatever it was that you were cooking, all of it smelling ten times better than anything he’d been eating for the past two years at college.

But Ellie was quick to cut him off, eyebrows furrowed as she gave you a death stare so intense, it was a miracle you hadn’t keeled over from it alone.

“We’re going out to eat” she deadpanned, her tone firm and harsh.

It makes you turn around fully after lowering all the spots on the stove, grabbing the kitchen towel you kept nearby and drying your hands off, your hips resting against the kitchen counter as you watched them.

Your brother frowned as he looked up at Ellie in confusion, the man clearly not have gotten the memo.

“We…are?….but you were just saying how tired-“ He mumbled out softly before Ellie landed a hard jab to his side with her elbow, making your brother quickly shut his mouth, getting her message loud and clear.

Ellie didn’t want anything from you.

You inhaled deeply, fighting back the urge to stoop down to her level, no matter how much it stung that she was doing this out of spite, simply over something that was asked of you.

“That’s…that’s fine. I hope you guys have fun” you gave them a nod and a soft smile before you turned around to continue working on the food that you’d be eating alone.

Ellie’s angry expression softened into a frown when you didn’t fight back, fully expecting you blow up and make her seem like the victim who’s getting her summer ruined by some fucking she-demon or something. But you didn’t, you simply bid them a good time and turned around to busy yourself with whatever you were doing.

Your brother frowned as he watched you turn around, already feeling bad for not only leaving you alone for the night, but making you eat alone felt even worse.

But Ellie was already scoffing, mumbling softly to your brother to come upstairs with her so they could get changed and leave so they could get something to eat, her eyes lingering on you angrily as she stomped upstairs like a child.

You spent that night alone, eating your dinner with a glass of wine, showering and watching a movie downstairs, silently hoping the pair would have a change of heart and walk through to spend the night with you, acting as a way to kick off the summer on a better note than it was already starting off on.

But they never did. You ended up doing all of that and more and they still didn’t get home. You decided to simply send your brother a quick text letting them know you’d leave the porch light on and to get home safe before you went to bed.

That wasn’t the end of Ellie’s little scheme of being terrible to you. No, that was honestly only the beginning.

The second time of her being mean was about a week later. You managed to stay clear of the both of them for a few days, busying yourself with getting the house situated for yours, Ellie and your brothers stay. You got a good amount of things done, groceries, laundry, getting your car through the car wash. You even picked up a dozen bagels from yours and your brother’s favorite bakery in the city nearby, knowing how much him and Ellie would appreciate them for breakfast, even if you knew she’d bitch once she knew you bought them.

But once all of those chores were done, you found that you’d started to run out of things to keep you occupied. There was no more laundry to do, no more groceries to buy, nothing more for you to tend to that would keep you away from the house.

You were bored out of your mind.

You sighed softly as you laid in your bed, staring up at your ceiling as you toyed with the hem of your denim shorts. You were contemplating what to do, how to entertain yourself in the confides of your bedroom. It was hard because Ellie and Derek spent almost all of their time in the living room, leaving you to either do things outside of the house, or stay in your room.

It made you sad, because you wouldn’t have this problem had you stayed at Uni. You would’ve been outside with your friends, at parties, restaurants, bars. Anything that there was to offer in the city, you’d be there.

Another huff passed through your lips, your arms moving down to rest against your pillow. You were beginning to get desperate, your mind void of any ideas to keep yourself occupied.

You sat up, looking towards your door for a moment before you looked back down at your hands in your lap, your mind falling deep in thought before you finally let out a sigh. You felt ridiculous, forcing yourself to be a prisoner in your own home for your own comfort. Ellie didn’t even fucking live here, this was your parents house and you deserved to walk around as you pleased!

So you finally tossed your legs over the edge of your bed, and opened your door to go downstairs.

The second your room door was open, you could hear Derek and Ellie downstairs, the two of them laughing and shouting at each other. As you walked down the stairs, you could hear the sounds of their video game playing through the speakers, paired with the sound of their fingers harshly clicking down on the buttons of their game controllers.

Video games sounded fun.

You hummed softly as you watched them from the bottom of the stairs for a moment before you walked into the living room, simply watching the two hunched over, completely locked in on their current match.

“Don’t fuckin’ push by yourself you’re gonna die. Lemme just heal really quick” you hear Ellie groan out to your brother.

“I’m good! I’m good I got this” your brothers words follow, a blanket of silence falls between the two of them, only to hear your brother and Ellie groan loudly in unison, followed by Ellie sucking her teeth in annoyance.

“I told you not to fucking-“ her words are cut short when she notices you in the corner of her eye, the girl deflating as she slouches back into the couch, her eyes back on the screen.

“Great…” she mumbles out, which you try your best to ignore before taking a spot on the opposite end of the couch, tucking your legs underneath yourself as you nod towards the tv.

“How many have you guys won so far?” You hum out softly.

Your brother’s eyes don’t leave the tv screen as he responds, fingers already clicking away at his controller the second Ellie managed to resurrect him in the game. “A good amount…especially when Ellie’s here to save my ass” he grins out, which earns an annoyed sigh from Ellie.

You hum softly as you nod, watching as their characters run around on the split screen, the two of them looting and taking out other players as the number of people in the game grows lower and lower, waiting until the game was almost over.

“Could you guys use a third?” You ask softly after clearing your throat, eyes still glued to the screen as you watch them play.

Derek licks his lips as he continues playing, his eyes quickly shifting over to Ellie for a moment to gauge her reaction to your question before he responds.

You and him would play video games all the time together, and there were even times where all three of you would play together. Sure, they’d do petty shit like leave your character in the storm to die when you needed help or made sure your controller was close to dying, but they’d at least let you play from time to time.

However, Ellie was quick to speak up and give you a response.

“No. You’re shit at this game” Ellie quickly responds, pink tongue sticking out of her mouth as she concentrates on the game.

While you can tell she’s not joking, her words make your brother chuckle softly as he gives her a gentle nudge. “I’m sure one game is fine? Watching her play will be kind of funny to be honest” he tried, yet Ellie wouldn’t budge.

She shook her head firmly. “Nah. She’s gonna fuck up our winning streak. Weren’t you upstairs anyway? Why did you even come down here….go back up” her eyes finally break away from the screen once the game was finished, looking over at you and nodding her head up towards the stairs.

And while Ellie would sometimes chase you away when she was over, it was always in good fun. Sure she was a dick to you but this?

This was so different.

It makes you choke up a bit, eyes widening at her words before you look at your brother, silently begging for him to defend you from the girls mean words.

But he doesn’t, he clears his throat, avoiding your eyes and grabbing his own phone to scroll through it so he wouldn’t have to be put into the awkward situation of getting between his sister and his best friend.

It makes you inhale deeply before you silently get up from the couch, slip past the two of them, and make your way back upstairs like Ellie told you to, your throat burning with hot tears as you tried your best to hide them from the pair on the couch.

Your brother finally looked up when you slipped passed the two of them, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he eyed Ellie. “I know she’s annoying but…that was kind of fucked up man” he mumbles out softly, his eyes lingering on Ellie for a moment only to watch her shrug, her eyes never leaving the screen.

“Shut up. She wouldn’t leave unless I was mean…” she mumbled out nonchalantly, which makes your brother sigh softly, turning his head back to the screen and starting another game.

You realized that this wasn’t a game. This was Ellie being awful to you for the sole fact that you were staying there and being a ‘cock block’, and in her book? That was more than enough of a reason to take her anger out on you.

It made you take one look at your bedroom when you finally got upstairs, tears in your eyes, when you realized that you had to get quite comfortable there, seeing as you’d be spending far more time locked up than you thought you would have.

You managed to avoid Ellie and your brother for the remainder of the week, for real this time. You had no interest in being around them or spending any time with them, not since Ellie made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with you, and you were the bane of her very existence.

You decided that they could spend their summer like they wanted to, without you there.

Any time you needed something from downstairs, you’d either go and get it extremely early in the morning or late enough at night so that they wouldn’t be there, which was hard sometimes since they’d spend almost the entire night downstairs, drinking beers and eating snacks until they were too tired to go in anymore.

Tonight was different though.

Because tonight was the first Saturday of the summer, which meant anyone and everyone was looking towards your brother and Ellie for a party to kick things off. You knew they’d do it of course, but you knew it was actually happening once you could hear the faint noise of the two of them setting up downstairs, paired with the roaring sound of your brothers Jeep pulling in and out of the driveway, making multiple runs to the store for last minutes things for the party.

And your plan for the night? You were going to shower early to avoid any awkward drunk run-ins, take a melatonin, lock your room door, and fall asleep with your noise canceling headphones underneath a mountain of blankets. While it would be nice to let loose and party for a night, you wouldn’t dare even ask them if you could attend, already knowing Ellie would have quite the mean words in store if you tried that.

On the bright side, this all meant you were responsible for the clean up in the morning.

You let out a soft sigh as you tugged on a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized t shirt, moving to grab your bottle of melatonin gummies before you moved to sit on the bed, wanting to wind down a bit before bed.

Right as you were about to take your vitamin and lock your door though, you heard a gentle knock, making you frown as you looked over at it. Surly the party hadn’t started yet? Did you seriously have to put a note on your door to alert drunk idiots that your room was off limits for hook ups?

You frowned before calling out. “Go away! There are other rooms!” You called out loud enough, hoping that whoever was on the other side would get the memo.

Instead, you hear the knob turn, the door creaking open as your brother peaks his head in, making you sigh in relief.

“Oh…I thought you were some idiot party-goer” you explain as you scrunch your nose at the mere thought of it before you unscrew the top to your bottle. “What are you doing here? You have a party to host” you explain before you look up at him, only to find his eyes wandering your bedroom before he shrugs.

“Wanted to check on you…make sure you’re okay” he explains before he finally looks down at you, nodding towards the bottle of melatonin in your hand. “Going to bed already?” He asks, which you nod to.

“Yup…trying to get a heard start before the noise sets in” you hum out softly before you bring one of the gummies to your lips.

Your brother quickly speaks up before you can take it. “You should come down…for a little bit. It’ll be fun” he quickly gets out before you eat it. He knew the moment you took it, you’d be lulled away to sleep, and there was no chance in him reconciling with you tonight.

Because in all honesty, he felt horrible for the way Ellie had been treating you. Not only did he fear you’d tell your parents (he knew you wouldn’t), but he also felt like he was being a shit big brother for not standing up for you, even if he knew that you knew it was a tricky situation since Ellie was his best friend.

Your shoulders slump at his words, giving your brother an unamused look.

“Your friend wouldn’t even let me play video games with you. Do you seriously think she’d allow me to come down tonight l?” You groan out softly before you shake your head, bringing the gummy to your lips once again. “I’m gonna go to bed. I don’t have time for either of you” you sigh softly.

Your eyes widen when your brother steps forward and slaps the gummy from your hand. “What the hell Derek??” You shriek out, which only makes him groan in annoyance.

“It’ll be fun! And Ellie will be too drunk or high or both to even notice you’re there…” he whines out like a child, which makes you roll your eyes.

A blanket of silence falls between the both of you as you think about it, weighing out the pros and the cons of going downstairs and joining everyone, risking the chance of Ellie blowing up on you the second she sees you there, assuming you’re attending for the sole purpose of shutting down her fun.

Derek sighs softly as he moves to sit down next to you on your bed. “I’ve been a shitty older brother…and you deserve to have fun this summer too” he hums out softly before he leans over, nudging your shoulder gently with his.

“Come on…it’ll be fun” he urges once more, and it reminds you of when you were both kids, your brother slowly turning into the person that you recognized rather than the person he was whenever he was around Ellie or his other friends.

You finally sigh out softly before looking over at him, giving him a slight nod. “I’ll change and come down once I hear the music start playing…I’m sure that gives her enough time to get her drunk goggles on” you hum out playfully as you refer to Ellie.

Your brother smiles brightly, his mimicking your own before he nods. “You’re gonna have fun” he affirms once more before he gets up to leave your bedroom, closing the door behind him so he could get downstairs and finish setting up.

A soft sigh leaves your lips as you look down at your clothes, frowning at the faded band t shirt paired with the frayed ends of your old sleep shorts.

You needed to change.

It wasn’t long until you could hear the faint sound of the loud music booming through the house, paired with the various cars that slowly started piling up in your driveway and along the side of the ride in front of your house, the party guests making their way to your place like clockwork.

You had changed into a pair of baggy blue jeans that hung low on your waist, and a simple white tank top hugged your curves in a way that looked like you put in way more effort that you actually did, wanting to keep things comfortable enough that you could slip out of it the second you wanted to dessert the place for the safe haven that was your bedroom.

The party was in fully swing by the time you made your way downstairs, a person filling up everyone single space as music blasted loudly throughout the entire place. You inhaled deeply, slipping past the growing sea of people to get to the kitchen, and get a drink.

Your eyes scanned the space as you stayed leaned up against the counter, red solo cup pressed against your lips as you babysat the mixture of liquid and soda, people watching as everyone around you became acquainted with one another, your drink making you grow warmer and warmer with each passing second.

Like a stroke of luck, you catch an empty spot on the once full couch. It makes you sigh in relief, once again slipping past the bodies in your house to catch it before someone else does, which you thankfully do. You plop down onto it, bringing your cup to your lips as you rest your head against the back of the couch.

You didn’t even realize how drunk you were until Jesse, one of your brother’s old friends plops down next to you with a loud sigh. The second he was next to you, the strong smell of weed was filling up your lungs, you swore you felt the tiniest bit high from the smell alone.

“If I so much as smell a blunt, your tv is gonna grow legs and start walking away” he groaned out, making you stifle a laugh.

The sound catches his attention, the man turning his head to look at you, his hazy expression slowly tugging into a smile.

“Nooo way. I remember you! You’re Derek’s little sister” he gasps out, which makes you hold back a laugh before you nod.

“I am in fact his sister” you confirm.

To be frankly honest, you’d known Jesse since high school. He was pretty close with Ellie and Derek, he was actually the only one out of the group of gremlins that was actually kind to you whenever they were all around. However he was currently so far gone, he could barely remember that you two already knew each other.

“Maaan I haven’t seen you in so long! He didn’t tell me you’d be here” he chuckles softly, bringing his hands to his face as he groans softly.

“I’m…I’m sorry I’m so high right now. I can barely think” he apologizes, the man visibly melting into the couch as he lets his hands fall down beside him, staring off into space.

You giggle softly as you shake your head, bringing your cup to your lips as you take another sip of your drink. “You’re fine Jesse…the companies nice” you nod before you rest your head back against the back of the couch, allowing Jesse to carry on with his belligerent complaints.

You were so consumed with Jesse’s rather entertaining word vomit, that you barely noticed a certain someone eyeing you from the other side of the couch.

Ellie had been there the entire time, too high and too drunk (like your brother said she’d be) to even notice you had taken a spot at the end of the couch. It also didn’t help that she had her current summer fling splayed across her lap, her lips pressed to the girls mouth as they practically swallowed each other’s faces whole.

And she wouldn’t have noticed you either, had it not been for the familiar sound of your giggle ringing through her ear, barely audible over the sound of the loud music booming through the house.

At first she thought she was hearing things, ignoring the noise and carrying on with working her tongue against the girl’s against her. However the second time she heard it, it was paired with a low groan that she could only recognize as Jesse’s, and once she heard that? She had no choice but to break her lips away from the girls, instead allowing her to work her lips against her neck.

The image of your head resting against the back of the couch, looking up at Jesse as his face seemingly lays inches away from yours, your eyes twinkling in the dim light of the room, the edge of your solo cup resting against your pouty bottom lip as you listen intently at whatever Jesse is saying…

Makes Ellie want to punch a fucking hole in the wall.

Because what the fuck is Jesse doing talking to Derek’s little sister? Why the fuck does he think it’s okay to make you laugh that way when everyone knows you’re off limits? The unspoken rule being something everyone had to follow…

No matter how pretty you got as you grew up.

Ellie suddenly can’t pay any attention to the pretty girl on her lap, her grip on the girls hips tightening with anger as she watches you smile lazily at Jesse, the drink in your cup clearly making you far too soft and pliable to be talking to someone like Jesse.

There’s suddenly a fire burning in her, one that begs for you to look up and see what she’s doing, see that she has a girl on her lap that isn’t you. She wants you to see her kissing the girl, gripping her hips and positioning her however she pleases.

Ellie feels the need to make you jealous

But you never do. Ellie watches the both of you for what feels like an eternity, and you don’t once look up and lock eyes for her, not even for a second. She’s sure you’re obvious to the fact that she’s even there, far too consumed with whatever the fuck it was that Jesse was telling you, which couldn’t be anything good of course, it was Jesse of all people.

The girl on her lap is getting antsy, tugging at the bottom of Ellie’s shirt, slipping her hand underneath it to run along the skin of her hips, lips itching up her skin to get back to Ellie’s mouth, anything to have the attention that has suddenly been locked into something else.

Ellie doesn’t budge of course, her stone cold gaze stuck on you across the chair, a few feet away from her as Jesse chats you up,

She doesn’t even know why she’s staring. She can’t pin point why seeing you do something as simple as talk to someone else makes her blood boil to the point where she feels fucking light headed. All she knows is that she can’t take her eyes off of you, not when your attention is so dead set on someone else.

The girl on Ellie’s neck whines softly, her hand coming up to grip Ellie’s chin, pulling her down to finally lock lips with her. It makes Ellie groan, and to the girl it probably sounded like a groan of approval, a sign that Ellie liked that she was taking what she wanted from her. In reality, it was Ellie being fucking annoyed.

Ellie kisses her hard, trying her best to shut her up and keep her satisfied so she can break away and keep an eye on you.

You sigh softly, lifting your head a bit to turn and look down into your cup, noticing it had become empty in the span of talking to Jesse. While doing that, you realized how drunk you had gotten from the drink you made, a lazy giggle leaving your lips as you shook your head towards Jesse.

“I’m…way too drunk…I need to go to bed” you sigh out, resting your hand Jesse’s thigh as you give him a gentle pat. “Try to sober up before you go home if you do end up leaving….was nice seeing you Jesse” you smile at him, only receiving a soft groan of agony before he lazily waved you off, making you giggle softly before you got up off the couch, stumbling a bit before making your way around it to go upstairs.

As you round the corner, oblivious to Ellie’s presence, you don’t at all notice the way her eyes trail your path even as her lips work angrily against the girl in her lap.

Or the way she breaks the kiss once you’re out of view, pushing the girl off her lap as her legs begin carrying her up to follow you. “I’ll be right back…” she mumbles out to the girl, completely ignoring the way she scoffs once she realizes Ellie was following another girl.

She slips past the crowd of people as she trails close behind you, watching as you fail to even realize the way certain eyes follow your path, eyes that don’t belong to her, eyes that have filthy thoughts behind them, only fueling her anger further.

It’s like a shark stalking their prey. You’re a dumb, innocent little fish with not a care in the world, happily swimming around other little seat creatures as an apex predator slowly sticks onto your tail, following you to your demise. You’re bouncing around, giggling softly as you stumble over your own feet, so stupid from the liquor you had, you’d barely even noticed Ellie was following you.

Soon, you’re up the stairs and in front of your bedroom door. You reached up, standing on your toes to get to the little key you left on the top of your door after you locked it before going downstairs, ensuring no one would so much as think to use your bed as a hook up station.

You opened it up, sighing softly as you closed it behind you, moving over to your drawer to grab the pajamas you had folded earlier, wanting nothing more to change into them and get some much needed sleep now that the alcohol had settled in and warmed up your entire system.

Ellie hears you humming softly to yourself as she opens up your door. She isn’t even entirely sure what her motive is with this, why she felt the need to follow you all the way up to your room, and to on top of that walk in. It wasn’t like you were in any sort of danger, you weren’t out on the street late at night all alone, or even at a party at a strangers house. You were a smart girl, even going as far as to lock your door before and after leaving to go downstairs.

Not smart enough to lock it before Ellie could come in though.

You frown softly when you hear your door open, fully prepared to start screaming for your brother the second some creep tried to come in to your room.

You don’t have to though, because the second you realize that it’s Ellie standing at your door and not some fucking weirdo, you let out a small sigh of relief.

Which quickly turns into panic once you realize that it’s Ellie standing in your doorway.

“Ellie? What are you doing here?” You question the girl, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you let out a soft sigh.

You can hear it already, the way Ellie is gearing up to degrade and berate you for even thinking it was okay to come out of your room and down to the party. You mentally prepare yourself for the nasty things she’ll say, for the way she’ll go above and beyond to ensure you never even think to come down and attend another one of hers and your brothers parties ever again.

But she doesn’t speak, not immediately at least.

You watch as she crosses her arms over her chest, tattooed forearms making her look all the more intimidating. Her eyes roam your bedroom as she slowly steps in to take in more of the space after she closes your door behind her.

“It’s nice in here…you should’ve stayed put…would have worked out better for you” she hums out, her tone a bit too casual for the bite that her words manage to get out of you.

It makes you sigh softly, bringing your hand up to rub against your forehead before you speak up. “It was Derek’s idea, okay? And I was barely even down there. I didn’t even talk to anyone” you explain to the girl.

She raises her eyebrows, green eyes settling on you as she watches you in surprise.

“Didn’t talk to anyone hm? Then what the fuck were you doing with Jesse? Huh?” She barks out, the level of her voice making you flinch.

If you were confused before, this has you in shambles. Your frown deepens as your eyebrows furrow, watching the girl before you quickly speak up to defend yourself.

“With Jesse? Ellie I…we talked for maybe thirty minutes? And all he was telling me was how much he was greening out I…are you serious right now??” You shriek out, watching as the girl slowly made her way towards you.

She ignores your explanation. “Do you know how fucking desperate you look? Clinging on to mine and Derek’s friends?” She spits out, her tone growing angrier and more vile with each word she utters.

And she’s getting closer to you the more she speaks too.

“It’s fuckin’ pathetic. You’re fucking pathetic. Don’t you get tired of this? Isn’t this boring to you?” She questions, tone dripping with annoyance and anger as she keeps going, keeps pushing you.

You don’t think you’ve ever seen her like this. She’s fuming with something you don’t recognize and it makes your eyes widen, lips parting slightly as you try to find the words to say before they quickly close once she continues on with her nasty words.

That’s wide eyed look on your face lights a fire under Ellie that tells her to keep going.

She’s right in front of you now, her nose inches away from yours as she lets out an unamused chuckle, a soft smirk on her face.

“You’re such a fucking slut…you know that? Begging for attention from your brother’s friends….” She hums out softly, her pink tongue slipping out of her mouth to wet her lips slowly. You can barely stop yourself from your eyes shifting down to watch the way she does it, only earning a soft chuckle from the girl.

“Did you go to him because you saw I was busy baby? Is that it?” Her tone is still taunting you, but it’s softer, her voice barely above a whisper.

Suddenly you feel her strong hands snake their way around your waist, pulling you slowly but harshly against her body, making you gasp softly at the sudden and foreign feeling of her body pressed against yours, all of it consuming you too much to even register what it was she was accusing you of.

Her eyes are taking in your features. Your eyes, your nose, your lips, as if she were silently begging you for something you couldn’t completely give her, something more.

“If you wanted me, all you had to do was ask” she sighs out softly.

And it’s like you aren’t even there anymore, because once she says that, her lips are pressed against yours in a hot, needy kiss.

Your eyes widened at the feeling of her lips on yours. For a minute you even questioned if you were dreaming, because surly there was no world where this would be happening, one in which Ellie would be kissing you.

You gasped out softly, trying to break away from the girl to ask what exactly it was that she was doing, but she only takes this as an advantage to slip her tongue into your mouth.

The feeling of her wet tongue against yours has you melting, your eyes fluttering shut as suddenly any and all questions and concerns you previously had disappear from your head, the only thought present being how good it felt to have Ellie kissing you.

You finally get a moment to speak when you feel Ellie break the kiss so that her lips could trail down your throat, licking and sucking your skin as her hands grip your hips tightly, fingers rubbing against the exposed skin between the hem of your shirt and the top of your jeans.

“Ellie…what are you…” you manage to get out between moans, enjoying the feeling of the means girls lips against your throat far too much.

“Shut up…just shut the fuck up…” her words are muffled against your skin.

You can feel her walking you back towards your bed, allowing her to push you back onto it and crawl over your body once you’re both there. That’s when her lips attach themselves back onto yours, her hand coming down to skillfully unbutton your jeans, which gives her a chance to cup your pussy, feeling your arousal soaked panties.

She smirks against your lips, the pads of her fingers pressing against your clothed clit as she gives you a hum of approval.

“Wet already? Over one little kiss? God that’s pathetic…” she chuckles out softly as she degrades you for it, which somehow only sends more warmth shooting down your core.

“It’s alright baby…I’ll take care of you..” she hums softly against your lips before she starts kissing down your body.

Her lips swirl your nipples over the fabric of your tank top, the material growing wet with her saliva. It’s strange because the feeling is almost more erotic than if she were to do it with your top off. Maybe it’s how eager she is for it? For whatever it was she was planning on doing to you?

You had no idea. But you knew it felt good.

She does this until she’s settled between your legs, your denim jeans already long gone, her eyes zeroed in on the growing damp spot on your panties. You’re propped up on your elbows, watching closely as the girl who you were convinced hated you, stares down at your pussy like it’s her last fucking meal.

“You’re soaked baby…fuck…” she sighs out, her tattooed hand coming up to slowly run her index and middle fingers along your slit, the feeling alone making you gasp out before moaning for her.

That makes Ellie smirk, her stormy green eyes flickering up to catch your expressions as her fingers circle your clit slowly. “Yeah? You like that don’t you pretty girl…you want more?” She questions, her voice so soft and sweet, yet dripping with the urge to tease and humiliate you.

It was so confusing, because you didn’t know what it was that you wanted. You’d grown to view Ellie as someone who disliked you, deeply in fact. You always saw her as a figure of hate and annoyance towards you rather than someone who could ever in their wildest dreams be in this current situation with you.

But it felt so good, it felt so fucking right to have her settled between your legs, her fingers circling your clit slowly, making your head spin, making you feel so dizzy you felt like you’d cry if your aching pussy didn’t have some form of attention from her.

“Answer me…” she practically growls out when you take too long to respond, her dark eyes growing even darker as she awaits your confirmation.

Her tone along breaks you out of your thoughts, and before you can even think all of this through, consider the consequences that will follow a drunk hook up with Ellie?…

You’re nodding like a fucking bobble head.

“Want it so bad Ellie…please….please touch me” you practically beg, hips bucking for the attention you craved.

You didn’t even for a second stop to think what her motives were. Ellie was mean, and she could be really fucking mean when she wanted to. Who’s to say this wasn’t all a sick joke? One that she’d laugh at hysterically just to get you to say you wanted her, weaponizing the way you begged for her in any instance she could use to keep you in line.

“Good girl…relax baby…I’ll make you feel real good..” she hums out, her gentle words tugging you away from your intrusive thoughts.

Her fingers tug your panties to the side, an audible groan rumbling from her chest as she finally gets a glimpse as your soaked core.

“Fuckin’ look at that…pussy’s practically drooling for me baby…Jesus” she sighs out softly.

For a moment, you think she’s going to leave. Because in the dim light of your bedroom, you watch as she pushes her fingers into her mouth. You watch her with a confused frown as you hear a small click, paired with a gentle buzzing sound.

But once Ellie finally latches her mouth to your pussy, you can feel the foreign feeling of a tiny ball in the middle of her tongue vibrating against your clit.

You don’t even have time to fully register what the actual fuck is going on, a loud gasp leaving your mouth as your eyes go wide for a moment before they flutter shut.

Ellie had a vibrating fucking tongue ring

The feeling has you moaning loudly, your head falling back as your back arches, feeding more of your throbbing cunt into Ellie’s mouth, which only makes her moan loudly against your sensitive core.

“Fuck! Ellie oh my god! Feels…h-huh….feels s’good” you gasp out, words broken up with huffs and moans as you struggle to speak.

You want to kick yourself for not noticing it moment ago when she had her tongue playing against yours, the feeling of the smooth ball lapping against the inside of your mouth, only to begging vibrating once she settled her mouth on your pussy.

She’s just as fucked out as you are when you finally look down at her, her eyes fluttered shut in what could only be viewed as pure bliss as she licks and sucks your pussy like a woman starved. The image alone makes you reach out and tug a fistful of her hair into your hand, keeping her close as your hips began grinding against her face.

“Yeah..right…f-fuck…right there Ellie!” You moan out as her hands come up to hold onto your hips, guiding you, urging you to move harder and faster against her mouth.

Begging you to use her.

Your eyes flutter shut as the familiar feeling begins to settle into your lower half, your legs growing numb, hips getting sore as you chase the high that was growing deliciously close every second Ellie worked her skilled tongue on your pussy.

You aren’t sure you’ve ever felt anything like it. Between Ellie’s fantastic performance with her tongue, and the vibrating tongue ring, your head begins spinning as your orgasm grows closer in an embarrassingly quick amount of time.

“Ellie I…I can’t…you’re gonna…make me…” you warn her, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare down at the girl, only to see her giving you an encouraging nod as she suckles your pussy, making sure the little ball on her tongue is working your clit in the most perfect way so that the vibrations can drive you where you need to go.

That alone has you crying out, back arching almost painfully as you cum hard on the girls tongue.

Sensitivity chases soon after, a soft whine leaving your lips as the girl laps up your arousal, tongue ring still buzzing against your tired cunt, making you shy away from the warmth of her mouth.

She chuckles at that, giving your clit one final kiss before she pulls away and reaches into her mouth to click the tiny machine off.

“Did so good for me baby…took everything that I gave you” she praises you as she crawls up your body, humming softly as her hand comes up to gently hold your face before she kisses you, letting you taste your arousal that lingers on her tongue.

You moan softly into your mouth, head still swirling with a million questions you had for her, all of which she silences with the slow and sensual lapping of her tongue against yours.

She does this as she pushes you back onto your bed, letting you rest against your pillows before she tugs your blanket over both your bodies, her tongue lazily playing with yours as she practically lulls you to sleep with her kisses.

Or so you thought.

Because soon enough, she’s breaking the kiss, crawling off of your body as she tugs the blankets off of hers. You frown as you sit up a bit, watching as she adjusts her hair and her clothes in your mirror, crouching down a bit before she turns to leave your room without another word.

“I…you’re leaving?” You question softly, confusion and exhaustion laced within your words.

Ellie snorts once she turns around, the back of her hand coming up to wipe away anymore of your juices that might have still lingered on her lips.

“You thought I was gonna stay with you? Seriously?” She chuckles out softly before she slowly makes her way back to you, leaning down as she gives you a teasing pout.

“Maybe next time princess…I have someone waiting for me downstairs” she winks at you before she swiftly leaves your bedroom, leaving you there with a shocked look settled on your face.

[taintedcigs]

we’d still worship this love — e.m.

part two of even if it’s a false god.

pairing: modern!college!fboy eddie x fem!reader

warnings: smut!!!!!!, 18+, MINORS DNI. p in v, cr*ampie, unprotected s*x, angstangstangst, eddie regrets everything!!, jealous eddie, a bit of protective steve, drinking, swearing, praises, nicknames, fluff!!

summary: in which eddie regrets what he said to you. (wc:6.3k+)

a/n: literally the lyrics match up soooo well w the story imo im sorry for the last line ok i rlly tried to hold myself back not to directly write any lyrics lmao. this is CHEESY. i hate THE ENDING. as usual! but im so glad u guys liked pt. one and i didn't want to deprave any of u !!! i did not proof-read so pls ignore any mistakes!! hope u guys enjoy this lmk what u think mwah!!

Eddie sighed as he checked the kitchen, you were still nowhere to be found.

He had fucked up.

So badly.

He grabbed the half-empty red cup sitting on the kitchen stand. A whiff of alcohol hit his senses as soon as he tried to sniff it; it reeked, but Eddie didn’t care at this point, downing it like it was water.

He grabbed the pack of cigarettes sitting in his back pocket, walking miserably toward the backyard as he lit the cigarette sitting between his lips.

“Let’s get you to Steve’s, yeah?” The voice that passed by him was quick to grab his attention.

Robin.

“Robin?” He exclaimed excitedly, causing Robin to mouth “Don’t”.

He took a step to get closer to you but stopped quickly in his tracks; he had caused enough fucking damage.

He made his bed, and now he needed to lie in it.

He watched as you and Robin left, leaving him all alone. 

2 HOURS LATER

DON’T ANSWER: im so fuckhjing sorry

DON’T ANSWER: i didnt fuckingmeanit lije that i swear

DON’T ANSWER: pls talk to me

DON’T ANSWER: r u at steve? i can come

DON’T ANSWER: pleaseeeeee we can’t leave things like this. 

You heaved a sigh reading his texts, he was drunk again, and you weren’t going to entertain him.

You blocked this contact. 

“He’s texting me.” You groaned, chucking your phone away as you plopped yourself onto Steve’s bed.

“What did he say?” Steve asked curiously.

“He wants to see me and talk, he’s drunk again.” You replied curtly, head still filled with the words he uttered to you.

“I just… I can’t believe he’d say that.” Robin chimed in, shaking her head.

“I could. He’s an asshole.” You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah… but I always thought he had a soft spot for you.” Robin muttered.

You chuckled dryly. “He has a soft spot for my body.” You crinkled with disgust.

Robin shook her head as she spoke. “No, I mean it, Y/N… I really don’t believe he meant it like—” 

Steve was quick to interrupt. “Jesus, Robin, stop making excuses for him. I know he’s your friend and all, but he fucked up. And there’s nothing he can do now to ever take back the things he did to her!” He exclaimed, the two of them started bickering back and forth. 

You wanted to sink into the bed; you so badly wanted to believe Robin, believe that Eddie’s words were all just a lie, just something he made up on the spot just because he was afraid. 

But Steve was right—even if it was a lie, even if it was all a huge misunderstanding, nothing he could do would undo the amount of pain he caused you. The nights you spent sobbing—nothing could change that. 

But a part of you also knew that, if Eddie ever caught you in a moment of weakness again, you’d do it all over again; you’d let him ruin you all over again, just to have him complete you for the mere seconds he made you feel loved. 

The bickering and the storm in your mind stopped with a sudden knock on Steve’s door. 

The three of you looked at each other in unison.

Shit.

Did that stupid bastard really have the audacity to come here? 

You looked over at Steve with pity, about to open your mouth and beg, plead with him to do something, and he was quick to understand your train of thought. “I got this.” He muttered, hand squeezing your knee for comfort before he attended the door. 

As soon as the door swung open, there he was, blood-shot eyes and messy hair framing his face. He was shitfaced and could barely stand against the door frame. “Munson.” Steve affirmed sternly. 

“W—where is she?” Eddie slurred, barely even letting Steve speak. 

“She’s not here.” Steve said without letting Eddie take a look. 

“Look, man… I know she is, please—” He tried to push past him, but Steve stood his ground, blocking his way before his face turned cold. 

“She doesn’t want to see you.” Steve almost hissed, the intensity of his gaze taking Eddie back. 

“Don’t make this any harder and just leave, yeah?” Steve muttered, almost shutting the door before Eddie’s heavy boots interfered. 

“Please.” Eddie pleaded, making Steve huff as he threw a quick glance your way, and you quickly shook your head, mouthing ‘no’s.

But that was it; Eddie barged in as he used Steve’s distraction to his advantage, you gasped when the door swung open, revealing Eddie. 

He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, his gaze held guilt and relief. Guilty because of the fact that he uttered those words to you. But, relieved that he saw you, relieved that he could finally explain himself to you.

Yet you looked at him with such disgust that it ached his heart, putting on a heavy ache on his chest. Every breath he took now felt like a struggle. 

“Don’t!” You seethed when he took a step toward you, Steve was quick to jump to your defence, but you waved him off. 

“Leave.” You could feel your face grow hotter with rage each time you spoke, you didn’t want him here, you wanted him to disappear from the face of the earth. 

“I’m so fucking sorry.” That was all that left his lips, his eyes were glinting with sadness, and his bottom lip trembled with guilt. 

“You have the nerve… You have the fucking nerve.” You chuckled dryly, tongue rolling inside your cheek in anger. 

“Please... Let me just explain,” He slurred. 

His drunkenness made you more angry.

“I don’t want you to!” You hissed.  

“I told you, I’m fucking done, Munson.” You spoke calmly, tears were threatening to spill, but you held your ground. 

“One fucking minute, I swear—” You heaved a sigh, and another angry chuckle escaped from your throat as you looked at Steve, as if to tell him to kick him out, signaling for help. 

“Alright,” Steve muttered. “She doesn’t wanna talk, Munson.” He spoke calmly as he held Eddie’s arm, trying to drag him out. Eddie’s protests fell deaf on your ear as you plopped yourself on the bed again, crying into Steve’s sheets as Robin played with your hair to reassure you. 

1 MONTH LATER:

Thirty fucking days.

Eddie was going to lose his mind. 

Blocked from everywhere, and you avoided him like the plague.

He knew he deserved to be shut out; he knew he didn’t deserve you. But even crumbs of information from you would have eased him.

Steve and Robin had been useless, except for today. Except for that cryptic message Robin sent him about you being at the party today. And he praised his lucky stars for that.

Until he made it to the party.

Until he finally saw you.

With Mr. Jock pinning you against the wall as you giggled at his unfunny jokes.

Jesus fucking Christ. 

Don’t make a scene, Eddie. Don’t fucking make a scene—

His lips pressed together, jaw quick to clench as he couldn’t help the way he almost sprinted toward you. He didn’t know if it was out of pure jealousy, or the fact that he had missed you so goddamn much that he couldn’t stray away from you anymore. 

“Hi, honey.” Eddie said sarcastically and chirpily, jealousy dripped from his tone, and he couldn’t help the intense gaze he had on the asshole. 

You froze in your place as soon as you recognized the voice. What the fuck was he doing? 

Standing between the two of you, “Who’s this?” Eddie spat, his hand aggressively pointing toward him. 

You rolled your eyes before you turned to him. “Don’t,” You warned, your brows shooting up and a fiery flash apparent in your eyes. 

“Who are you?” He narrowed his eyes at Eddie, and as if Eddie had been waiting for him to provoke him further, he gave a smug smirk. Body turning to face the asshole.

You panicked, and the ever-so apparent tension in the air grew thicker “No one.” You replied quickly, avoiding Eddie’s lingering gaze. 

“Really? You’re gonna play that card, princess?” He gave you a dry chuckle, jealousy gnawed at his insides. 

You squeezed your eyes shut to save yourself from embarrassment, but he wasn’t going to stop until this jerk wasn’t at your side. 

“That’s not what you were saying the last time I saw you—” You were quick to cut him off with a warning gaze, your eyes widening. 

“Eddie… This—this is Ethan.” You said through gritted teeth. 

Eddie mocked a realization face, and you wanted to punch that smirk off of his stupid smug face. “Oh…” He laughed all-knowingly.

“That Ethan? The jock?” You narrowed your eyes, annoyance setting over your face, and you couldn’t handle the heat growing in your cheeks. 

This asshole. 

“I’m sorry, man.” He chuckled, giving Ethan a harsh slap on the shoulder, a slap that wasn’t friendly in the slightest bit—and you were sure now that the tension in the space the three of you shared could be cut through with a knife.

You cleared your throat to speak up, but Ethan did it before you. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?”

This was the provocation Eddie needed, and you knew it; you saw that mischievous glint glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, just that she was telling me all about how fucking horrible you—”

You interrupted Eddie with a nervous giggle. “Sooo sorry! He’s just a bit drunk!” You gave Ethan a panicked smile. 

“I’ll see you around!” You called out, walking off while dragging Eddie as far away from him as possible with a harsh grip on his arm. 

You probably didn’t know what you were getting yourself into when you dragged him toward the closest empty room. 

“What the fuck?!?” You yelled into his face. 

He ignored your distress. “What are you doing with him?”

“None of your business.” You hissed.

“It is my business if you get with Mr Jock again.”

“I’m not getting with—” You lowered your voice mid-sentence, annoyance taking over. 

“What part of ‘I don’t want to fucking see you ever again’ don’t you understand?” You let out through gritted teeth, your face heating from anger. 

“Did you know…” He said, completely ignoring you, and you looked at him with the same angry expression, getting tired of his antics.

“When you get angry like that, a line crinkles on your forehead, and those sweet lips pout into a frown? You look so fuckin’ cute like that.” He murmured, leaning against the wall you trapped him into.

You let out an exasperated sigh, eyes rolling into the back of your head. “What the fuck is your problem?” You asked, brows furrowing. 

“What the hell do you want from me?” 

“You? I mean, eventually, I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you every night.” He smirked.

Fucking jerk.

You chuckled with an audible scoff. "Is this some kind of a joke?" You muttered under your breath, voice laced with irritation.

“You are so fucking irritating.” You spat, eyes narrowing. 

“Just… just—Leave me alone.” Your voice lowered, your face was coming closer to his, and all Eddie could think about was how nice it was to have you this close to him again, to feel your warmth again.

You could see it, the emotions his gaze held, but you didn’t want to fall for his antics again, so you turned quickly to leave.

“Please.” His pleading and his hold on your arm were what made you stop in your tracks. The way his voice cracked, you could hear the desperation. If only you didn’t care about him this fucking much…

“Please—just, hear me out.” He was almost begging, and you knew you should be running, you knew you shouldn’t care, not even to spit the venom inside of you that had been building since that night.

But you can’t help it. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You asked, words coming out in a sharp and biting tone as your anger escalated. 

“After what you said to me...” You looked at him with a piercing stare, your eyes practically emitting flashes of irritation.

“Do you have any fucking idea how much I can’t even stomach being around you?” Your nostrils flared with every breath you took. 

“In fact, I hate you.” You spat.

“You hate me?” He asked, inching closer toward you. 

“Yes!” You snapped. 

“Then show me.” He challenged. 

“W—what?” You stuttered, your confidence dissipating in a second as the room felt so fucking small when he was standing this close to you. 

Your guard was so thinly veiled that one fucking word from him was enough to shatter it.

And you knew, with one or two more pushes from him, you’d give in. You’d give in, regardless; you had missed him more than you would ever let him know. 

And you shouldn’t. You fucking shouldn’t.

“Take it out on me.” He whispered, gaze intentionally fixated on your lips. 

“You hate me, fine! One last time. Get me out of your system.” He’s so close to your face that when he leans in to whisper in your ear, you can feel his hot breath on your neck. 

He’s intoxicating—his endearing words, the jealousy, and the possessiveness—and you shouldn’t fucking fall for it. 

But it feels different this time; something is so fucking different about him that it’s throwing you off. The way his pretty lips frame the words is convincing. 

Making you believe that this would be the last time, making you believe that you could come clean off him if you had him just one more fucking time. 

You don’t say anything when you give in, your gaze lingering on his lips.

His eyes are quick to trace your face, admiring all of your features in awe, regret filling every vein in his body, knowing that this would be the last time. 

“You’re fucking beautiful,” he says roughly. He doesn’t let you respond, lets the petty comments die down your throat when he kisses you. 

Oh, Jesus, Fucking Christ. 

Your heart was pounding against your ribcage. There was something so bittersweet about the way he kissed you, knowing it was going to be the last. He twirled his tongue with yours, so needy and so fucking promising. 

Eddie knew you better than the back of his hand, so when you started whimpering against his lips, your knees giving out, he knew you didn’t want to waste any time. 

He guided you toward the bed, gentle as he had never been before. The two of you were slow to undress each other, savoring every fucking moment. 

He let you lead everything, going only at your pace and making sure everything was up to your desires, purely catering to you. 

You could sense it, see the difference in how intimate this was, compared to others where it was just senselessly fucking, this was passionate, and it was killing the two of you. 

Rather than just pushing into it, he kept his gaze on you, admiring the way your chest rose up and down as his calloused hands slid further down your body, nipples hardening when his hands stopped to ghost over your thighs. 

His other hand rested on your breasts, and he didn’t hesitate to latch his tongue on it, sucking while his other fingers toyed with your entrance. 

You mewled; you weren’t going to hold back. “Moremoremore.” 

But he didn’t move an inch.

That greedy bastard. 

“More,” You pleaded louder this time, growing impatient. 

Eddie looked at you with such hunger in his eyes that it had your core throbbing. “I’m gonna give you every fucking thing you need, honey.” He promised. 

“But I need… this. I need this memory of you engraved into my brain, forever.” He groaned, giving all of his attention to every part of your body. 

You were quick to nod, quick to oblige him, especially when he made you feel this fucking good. 

But you couldn’t help it, you needed him. Especially when he was everywhere, hands gliding all over your body, making you whimper with just his touch. 

And the way you looked at him was so fucking tempting that he was almost going to explode, you were pleading with your gaze, telling him to take you… fully. To make you his, one last fucking time. 

He could recognize the weight your gaze held, almost as if he understood your train of thought, he pressed his thumb further into your clit, circling around it as your core clenched on nothing. 

“Please,” You begged. 

“Such an impatient, baby,” He muttered into your skin, pushing past your folds as he earned a low groan from you.

“Missed those sweet noises,” He hummed, doing everything in his power to not pound into you right away, the way your cunt was gushing for him, the way you pleaded, Eddie was sure he’d burst if he had to wait more. 

With a tender touch, he tucked your hair back. “You have no clue how fuckin’ insane you make me.” He pressed a sloppy kiss, his hands were still working their way through your folds. 

“Each time I’m around you… it’s like I lose all my fuckin’ senses.” He slurred into your ear, his cock was straining his boxers, and you looked so fucking perfect beneath him, looking all fucked when he had barely touched. 

But you ignored it. Ignored every one of his words, you didn’t need his sappy shit; you didn’t need another reason to stay. 

You just needed to feel good. 

“Please, fuck, baby, please,” You whimpered softly, your nails digging harshly into his back, making his cock twitch more and more. 

Baby. 

He doesn’t even remember the last time you called him that, and it shouldn’t bring a stupid, childish grin to his face, but it does. 

He’s ready to put everything behind him, start over, and do whatever you say. 

But he’s sure you will never let him. 

“I need you, Eds.” You murmured, eyes gazing into his; a mixture of tenderness and longing overtaking your features, speaking to him without uttering a single word.

That was all it took for him to free his hard cock from his boxers, his pink-tip burning with desire as it faced you, beads of pre-cum dripping from it as you smeared it all over, giving it a few pumps before you placed it into your entrance. 

The low groans that escaped Eddie’s lips were so fucking loud, filling the room, and you loved it. You loved the strained sounds he made with one touch from you. 

He didn’t hesitate to push himself deep inside of you without a warning, the space now being filled with both of your contented groans. 

“Holy fuck,” He breathed, head tilted back as he grinned at the sight in front of him.

You with your mouth hung open, murmuring his name as you took his cock like the good fucking girl that you were.  

“Takin’ me so well, angel,” He praised, “Baby, so fuckin’ tight, mhmm.” He placed sloppy kisses between your jaw and the line of your neck, grunting as he pounded his cock in and out of you with a speed that had your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

You were lost in him now, lost in the pure passion and affection Eddie provided you. You never felt this fucking good; you never felt this fucking close to him, breathing heavily as you struggled to keep your eyes open. 

Everything was so fucking intense that you could barely breathe.  

“Look at how well your sweet cunt is takin’ me in.” Eddie moaned, watching the way his cock disappeared into you, nuzzling him with your warmth. 

“Fuckfuckfuck. S’fuckin’ warm, honey.” He muttered the deeper he pushed into you, and your walls were quick to clench around his throbbing cock.

You arched your back into him as you rocked your hips toward him.  

You wanted him deeper and deeper, faster and faster, his every moment was euphoric, and you needed him, more and more. 

He was making you greedy. 

God, you wanted to hate him so fucking bad. 

He groaned at your impatience, relished in the way you grunted your hips more into his cock, he chuckled smugly. “Greedy baby,” He muttered. 

You ignored his taunting while you begged for more. 

“Shut up,” You murmured, teasing him back.

And it was a huge mistake.

He cursed as he pulled out of you, and you whined at the emptiness, “Shit, shit, ‘m sorry” You whispered, but he ignored you, continuing his teasing while all you could do was thrash beneath him. 

“Pleasepleaseplease,” You begged, causing him to smirk down at you. 

And even though your pleas were heavenly, Eddie was in no mood to stray away from you, he needed to be inside of you. 

He needed to feel your walls hugging his cock, he needed to be as close to you as he possibly could. 

“I would never say no to you, doll.” He mocked, rocking his hips into you with such force that the whimper that slipped past your lips was sinful. 

“All fuckin’ mine, yea?” He whimpered needily, and you nodded without hesitation, even though you both knew that wasn’t true. 

You shuddered underneath him; he was filling you to the brim, and you cherished every fucking second of it. 

“Eddie…” You barely let out a breath; the pleasure and sensation of each of his movements overwhelmed you. 

He cooed, “S’stuffed with my cock that you can barely speak, doll?” He asked mockingly. 

You nodded without hesitation, eyes squeezed shut. “I—Fuck…” Your head was dizzy, incoherent babbles were the only thing that escaped your lips, and Eddie knew, he knew you were close by the way your legs trembled. 

“Fuck… honey—I know.” He purred cockily, his hips pushing further into you with a glorious thrust. “I feel the same, baby.” He groaned when you clenched around him again.  

“My perfect girl.” He muttered as he continued his pace, his cock rocking into you further and faster—as if it were possible—earning low pleads from you in return.

“I never—I never thought being with someone could ever feel this way,” He whispered into your ear. 

Don’t let him get to you; don’t fucking let his words get to you.

But fuck—does everything with him feel so fucking good. 

“But, shit, you’re so different…” He muttered, his pace continuing as he grunted between his sentences. 

“You’re so fucking different.” You avoided his gaze, the emotion it held was too fucking much for you to handle.  

You tried to ignore it, tried to ignore the way you felt the hot tears streaming down your cheeks. Your emotions were a mess. 

It felt good, and he felt good; his words, his fucking cock inside of you, everything felt so fucking good. It was the temporary fix you needed. 

“Don’t do this to me, Munson.” You barely let out, he could feel your thighs trembling. 

“I…I never felt this way before… Jesus—Fuck.” The rocking motion of his hips became rougher each time he spoke; you were clenching around him, getting tighter and tighter, driving the both of you into insane heights of pleasure.

“I think I lo—” You snapped from your hazy state of pleasure; each of his words was like a stab at your fresh wound, the one he fucking created. 

“Don’t,” You warned him sternly, interrupting before he could get another vowel out.

"Don’t fucking finish that sentence. Don’t do that with me.”

“I know you. It's not working on me." You whispered.

“But—” He pleaded, and you interrupted again.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, don’t ruin this.” The words were harsh as they left your lips.

“Don’t say things to make me doubt this, to make it harder for me to leave.” There was such a vulnerability in your voice that he couldn't help but want to protest. 

He wanted to tell you that it was all fucking true. That he was so fucking in love with you that he was sure he lost his mind. 

Yet, you don’t let him speak, you don’t let his words fool you, not again. 

You kiss him in a dizzyingly rough motion just to shut him up. 

His skin slaps against yours, rough, as if he’s trying to take his frustrations out, and you let him, you let him pound into you senselessly. You let his cock drive into you further, not stopping until he’s sure he’s stuffed you to the brim. 

“Eddie, fuck!” You mumble into his lips; your brows are drawn together, and he knows—he knows you are close. 

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He cooed, and you nodded quickly. “Cum for me, honey.” He encouraged, not stopping his pace as he roughly thrusted his cock inside of your throbbing cunt one last time. 

A gush of wetness pulsed out of you when you released around him, the strength of your orgasm was enough to choke you out, and white-hot flashes blurred your vision as he watched you in awe. 

He wasn’t far behind, as the strained moans that escaped your throat drove him closer to the edge. 

“Shitshit—s’fuckin’ perfect.” He grunted. The way your cunt convulsed around him was too much for him to handle. He slammed inside of you one last time.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck—” He growled against your hair as he came, his cock shrivelled inside your cunt, pulsing as he coated your walls with his warm cum, fucking his release inside of you.

The two of you stayed like that for a hot minute, bodies tangled to each other, both minds fuzzy as both of you tried to catch your breath. 

You could feel tears brimming your eyes again when the realization hit you. 

This was the last time. 

And you needed to leave. 

As soon as possible.

And that’s exactly what he’s afraid of, afraid of you leaving, forever. 

You are quick to shake your thoughts off, quickly getting up to get dressed. 

“Don’t,” He mutters, it’s barely audible. 

You turn to him with a quizzed look. “Please… Just, please don’t leave.” He begs, it’s the last sight you expect, and the last thing you expect to hear. 

And it should feel so fucking satisfying, to know he’s wrapped around your finger, to know he is practically pleading for you. But it doesn’t, it feels so fucking sentimental, and you hate it. 

“You knew.” You muttered, putting on the clothes you so carelessly discarded. 

“You wanted this to be the last time.” You whispered, not daring to look at him.

“I lied,” He was quick to reply. 

“Eddie…” You heaved a sigh.

“Please, just fucking listen to me for once.” He breathed; you’re sure you’ve never heard him this determined. 

“I’m a fucking idiot, and I’m the biggest coward in the whole fucking universe, okay?” You turn around to meet his gaze, it’s pitiful and heavy with guilt, and you wish you never cared about him.

You wish you could just throw your feelings away and leave him behind. 

“I don’t deserve you!” He exclaimed, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Stop… just stop with the bullshit of making me pity you—” You replied angrily.

But he doesn’t let you finish. 

“Look, Y/N. I want that with you, I want something real with you… Shit—more than anything.” 

You chuckled, baffled. “Too fucking late for that.” You replied coldly. 

“I—it doesn’t have to be!” He spoke, grasping at straws to get you to give him one more chance.

Just one more fucking chance.

“What good will it do?” You whispered.

“You know what I realized?” You asked, putting on your shirt as Eddie gazed at you with need. 

“We’re both so beyond fucked up that...” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“Us—” You pointed toward the two of you. “We would never work!” You spat.

“I’m the last fucking girl for a relationship, and you’re the last fucking guy for a relationship.” 

“That’s why it would be perfect!” He tried to reason, but you shook your head.

“No—no, it wouldn’t! We’d eat each other alive!” You exclaimed, but Eddie refused. 

“So?” He shrugged.

“So? We’d just fight all the time! You really want a relationship that hard?”

“When did you become so fucking afraid to take a risk? A little challenge?” You narrowed your eyes.

He read you like a fucking book. You knew you weren’t afraid of a challenge.

You were afraid of getting hurt.

You were afraid of being more attached to him than you already were.

You were afraid of him running out once you decided to fully commit.

You knew it wasn’t all him; you were messed up in your own fucking way. Avoiding everything that felt too real was your specialty, because you’d rather be aching now than in the near future when he broke your heart again.

If you didn’t leave now, you never could.

“Goodbye, Eddie.” You muttered, shutting out whatever he was saying as you closed the door. 

Eddie sat on the bed, alone with himself, and his mind that was spinning with thoughts and his own voice telling him that he fucked up. 

He chucked his jacket to the ground as he rubbed his hands along his face in frustration. 

He had truly done it this time, he had lost you.

Forever.

But did he have to? 

Did he need to be a fucking coward again? 

Why would he give up this fucking fast when he didn’t tell you how he even felt? 

Eddie got up in a hurry, sprinting toward the party like a man possessed, spinning around each girl he saw in the hopes that it might be you. 

“Have you seen, Y/N?” He asked, and the blonde girl pointed toward the porch. 

He muttered a quick ‘Thanks’ as he slipped through the bodies in his way as fast as he could, making his way onto the porch with anticipation, eyes glistening the second he spotted you. 

You were sat on the cold wooden floor with your face buried into your hands, quiet sniffling was all Eddie heard. And he felt it again—that familiar ache—the same ache he felt the past month, when he couldn’t see you, talk to you, or know how you were doing. It returned instantly when he heard your sobs. 

“Hey… hey…” He murmured, causing you to jump as you turned to him with swollen eyes and your mascara was quick to run down your cheeks. 

“You’re gonna get cold, honey. Let’s get you up, yea?” He had never been this fucking caring, nor did he ever pine after you this much; he always held back, no matter what storms brewed in his mind. 

He extended his arm for you to take, but you glared at him coldly. “What are you doing here, Eddie?” 

“I need to talk to you.” He said. 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You muttered, “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to—” Your rant was interrupted by his pleas.

“Please—just don’t say anything and just listen, please.” You sighed. 

“Please, Y/N.” 

“Fine.” You crossed your arms against your chest, your eyes still glistening with tears.

He inched closer to you. “These thirty fucking days I’ve spent away from you… It’s been torture, Y/N.” He shook his head. 

“You—you have no fucking idea the things I did... The things I’ve tried to forget about us... Forget you.” His voice almost cracked, distress overtaking his features. He was sincere, so fucking honest that it was starting to make you afraid.

You couldn’t decide if it was him or the chilly breeze that sent shivers down your spine. “And no matter what I did, I still found myself itching for you. A part of me that I couldn’t fucking kill craved for you… to see you, to call you.” 

You’d never seen him like this before.

Eddie was always guarded, all fun and teasing. Always turning serious shit into jokes.

And this was real. The only thing you wanted from him, the only thing you begged that he made a mockery of. The hypocrisy was appalling to you.

You opened your mouth, your brows had already furrowed, and he could tell you were going to curse him out, so he didn’t let you.

“I know… I’m a fucking hypocrite, I get it.” He whispered, and your eyes almost widened.

How the fuck did he read you that easily?

“And I’m so fucking sorry for everything I said.” He ran his hands through his curls, almost tugging them out for being an idiot.

“I was afraid, okay?” He heaved a sigh, hand ruffling through his messy hair.

You didn’t want to ask him what he was afraid of because you knew—because you were afraid of the same thing.

Your lips trembled with need; no words dared to come out of them. 

“I was so fucking scared because I did the first thing we promised not to do.” He squeezed his eyes shut. You knew how bad he was with his feelings; you couldn’t even believe that he had made it this far.

“I think—No, I know.” He shook his head.

“I really fell for you.” He was ripping open your chest now, holding your heart out. Telling you he felt the same. A gasping, quiet noise escaped your lips; this was all you wanted—needed.

You’ve been this close to Eddie countless times before; hell, he probably fucked you at a much closer distance countless times before, but this was intimate. 

“And I realized... I could lose everything in this fucked up world.” He took a deep breath, his face so close to yours that you could sense it. Sense every emotion radiating from his body—the vulnerability, the pain. 

Each beat of your heart was like a drumroll against your chest; everything you longed for was there, a breath away from you.

“But not you. Oh god, not you.” His brows knitted together in a painful expression, and his voice was barely audible as he looked at you with a gaze that held you as the center of his universe.

You wanted to kiss him; you wanted his soft lips to graze against yours; you wanted to sob into him, melt into him, and become complete with him. 

“W—what are you saying?” You asked, and you knew the answer, but you needed that confirmation, you needed those three words to leave his lips.

“I love you.” He said without hesitation, and you couldn’t help the childish grin that formed on your face, mirroring Eddie’s. 

“I—You do?” You stuttered.

“Yeah… I love you so fucking much that it’s embarrassing, really.” He chuckled, still not able to comprehend your expressions; you looked… frozen. 

“You, uh, you don’t have to say it back.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, all of this was so fucking new to him. What was he supposed to do now? Kiss you? No, no, no... He couldn’t do that because you didn’t say it back. 

“I’m sorry, shit, uhm—I honestly have no fucking clue what I’m doing,” He stuttered. 

You gave him a warm smile. “I’d say you are doing well,” You whispered, scrunching your nose. 

“Yeah?” He returned the smile—that goddamn smile that brought out his dimples. 

God, you wanted to kiss him. 

“You’re making it so hard for me to leave.” You muttered, turning around to take a breath as you shook your head.

Eddie sighed, hands quick to find yours as he turned you to face him. “Then don’t leave. Stay.”

His past words didn’t matter, and how your relationship started didn’t matter. None of it mattered now because Eddie was ready, ready to give himself fully to you. And he looked at you like you were the only thing that mattered.

It was now or never. You heaved a sigh of breath as you looked into his eyes; you couldn’t help yourself. How could you not utter those words back to him?

“Jesus…When I told Robin that I was ready to fall in love again, I didn’t mean with you.”

You barely gave him any time to process your words as you smashed your lips with his.

It was as if passion was dripping from every move; it felt so fucking different to have this many emotions carrying your actions.

Before you could further it, taste him fully, Eddie pulled back slightly. You whined at the loss of contact. “Wait, wait, wait.” The words slipped past his lips quickly, eyes widening at your words.

“You—you? You are…?” He asked, baffled. He didn’t expect you to say it back.

He expected you to hate him forever. The thought of someone loving him was unfamiliar to him, especially to the extent that you did. Healing his fears without realizing it.

Your lips quirked into a smile. Why was he so idiotically cute?

You nodded, affirming him.

“Say it, please,” He pleaded, hands gentle as they cupped your cheeks. The look he gave you was mellow and your face tilted as you melted into his tender touch.

“I love you,” You muttered, eyes glinting with all the unspoken feelings you’ve been containing.

“Again.” A grin overtook his lips, and his widened eyes didn’t falter, shock and pure bliss apparent was written all over his face.

“Please,” He implored, brows softening each time you gave him that pretty smile.

“Soooo needy.” You narrowed your eyes jokingly.

“I love you,” You repeated, your gaze lingering on his honey-glazed eyes.

“Aren’t you a fucking dream?” You giggled, the dimples on his left cheek were pretty, he was so pretty.

“I love you more, honey.” He whispered, smashing his soft lips against yours.

And you invite him in to patch up the wounds he made, to give you the world, to love you fully; knowing that the blind faith transcended into something real, something worth worshiping.

[marleyybluu]

Another Man's Treasure

Oscar Diaz x f!reader

Word count: 6.8k (I am so sorry lmao)

Warnings: 18+, shitty husband, smut, p in v, unprotected (but pls don't be this stupid), creampie, dirty talk, cheating (but is it really if your husband is an ass), flirting, fluff, love at first sight type shit, Spanish/English pet names (pretty lady, hermosa, cariño), limited use of y/n(I literally used it once) idk lmk if I missed any.

(I only mention the first song but the other two are more for the… spicy scene😏)

——

The only escape from reality you had was the small moments of disassociation you had between the screaming of your children and the-

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

The shouting of your overgrown child of a husband playing his stupid games on his stupid PS5 that you wanted to set on fucking fire. This is not the life you pictured as a stay-at-home mom, yes the piles of dirty laundry were expected, and the mountainous dishes in the sink but you never predicted you'd be doing this alone. Your own mother stayed at home with you and your two brothers but your dad would still help her around the house so that she got the time to kick her feet up and relax.

You never got that.

You were living with this dark cloud over your head and deep regrets in your mind, why did you marry this man? You did think he was the love of your life, three years together before you got married proved your theory but never did you think it was going to end up like this. The amount of work you did was overwhelming, just one look at the number of toys on the floor made tears sting your eyes. You were tired, exhausted, drained and absolutely depleted.

If this was a job, you'd quit, you would take your children and quit. You wanted to so badly but the small hope of him changing clung to you like a piece of lint. You sighed holding your eleven-month-old on your hip while you made him a bottle, anything to keep him from wailing in your ears-- Jesus, half the time you couldn't hear.

"Babe!"

Your eyes rolled, you loathed his voice at this point. "What?"

"Can you pass me a water bottle?"

"Get up and get it, I'm making Malakai a bottle."

He groaned. "For fuck sake, you're in the kitchen already."

Your nostrils flared, and your eye twitched. You wanted to cuss at him, shout at him until your voice box shattered but you kept whatever calm you had left and ignored him. A small hand landed on your nose and you smiled kissing the tiny palm. "I love you too bubba."

He flashed a little smile and your heart sobbed at the fact that your last baby was growing so fast, teeth already emerging from his gums when just months ago he didn't have any. You could never regret your three little creatures, you loved them dearly, so much so you were willing to put up with the man that helped you create them just so they could have a two-parent household but you didn't know how much longer you could take this.

Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen, you could tell he was angry at the fact that he had to pause his little game just to grab some water. He looked over the sink, utterly disgusted by the site in front of him and instead of just keeping his mouth shut or for once volunteering to do them he decided to spit out a sentence that made you want to knock his head off with the glass bottle you were holding; "You need to wash the dishes."

Your blood was boiling, if life was a cartoon you'd have steam coming out of your ears. "Why don't you get off of the game and do them?" You bit.

He cracked open the bottle cap. "Hey, I'm the one that works all week, you just stay home and do nothing."

Nothing? NOTHING!?

That was it.

That was the tip of the iceberg.

Your shoulders dropped and he left the kitchen, there was that ringing in your ears again that came and went every time you zoned out. Ever since you got married you'd felt nothing but unappreciated by him, you quit your job to stay home with your children and not even a thank you, you made sure he had a good meal when he went to work and all you got in return was an "it was okay." And the disgustingly dirty dish tossed right in the sink you'd just emptied. You were at the end of your rope.

You held back your tears and lightly kissed your son on his head handing him his bottle and putting him on a beam bag so he could lay down and drink. You trotted upstairs to check in on your oldest twins who were in their room colouring and getting along for once. Then you headed to the bathroom locking the door behind you, your body sliding down to the floor, you curled up in a ball burying your head between your knees you let out a long and heavy sigh before your river of tears took over.

A cry session your body and mind were so used to. You wailed into the void, muffling your weeps so that your children wouldn't hear you and come asking what was wrong, a question you couldn't answer without them turning on their father and you didn't want to ruin that relationship they had with him.

You were just so tired.

--

As night fell you remained mute when it came to your husband, whatever he had to say you didn't respond to, you were just happy that it was Sunday and soon he'd be out of your face for a few hours.

With the kids all asleep you were in the kitchen on FaceTime with your older brother. "The kids are great, they're sleeping." You conversed.

"And how have you been?"

There was no hiding how you felt when it came to your siblings, you were the baby and the only girl so when you were hurt they knew and they'd do whatever they could to fix it. "I'm okay... I'll be okay." You reassured. He was the only one who knew some small details about what you were going through and you begged him not to say anything not even to your mother until you figured out how to deal with everything yourself.

"Hey, listen, Jordyn is going on vacation next week, she's hitting Fiji, and I think you should go with her."

You squinched up your face, you didn't have a problem with your brother's wife, always so thankful for the sister you never got but what about your kids? Could you even trust that man to take over your duties even for a day?

As if he read your mind he continued. "I mean it'll be summer break next week, and they can stay by me if you want. I just, I really think you need time away from life. I want to see my little sister happy."

You pouted, it really touched your heart how concerned he was. A vacation would be wonderful, it was all you could dream of after the kids were born, you loved them but you just wanted to be by yourself.

"I'll think about it."

"Well, don't think too hard." He joked. "Whatever. I gotta get their lunches together, I'll call you when I make my decision."

"Sounds good, night."

"Night."

The call ended and you finished packing the twins' lunch placing the bags on the only empty spot on the counter. You huffed at the dishes and your husband's words replayed in your head. Nothing. You do absolutely nothing.

The longer you stared a vengeful plan began to brew. You were about to show him what doing nothing meant.

--

You decided you were going on that trip, Jordyn was excited and your brother was happy with your choice. The week flew by quickly, you kept up your normal appearance of keeping the house clean and to your husband's liking and by each day you grew more distant from him not like he cared in the first place.

On the last day of school you explained to the twins that you were taking a trip with Aunty Jordyn and they, unfortunately, couldn't come but they'd be staying with their uncle and they'd loved that man to death so they were excited either way. Your house was a mess and for once you smiled at it, you'd been letting everything pile up for the last two days, packing the clean clothes they did have in advance. The only explanation you gave your husband was that they were all staying by your brother for the week but you didn't mention that you weren't coming back.

You were leaving tonight and there would be no stopping you. You loaded the van with their stuff and yours and hollered for them to get their little butts in the car. "Last one in the car has stinky feet!" You laughed at the building volume of stomping feet coming across the hall and down the stairs, your twins were out and your youngest sat on your hip giggling at their antics. You happily wrote a short note.

Bye.

That's it.

You showered your baby in kisses and grabbed your keys before heading out the door, you locked it and made your way to the car, buckling in your baby and making sure the other two were in securely. You closed the door and first time in a long time you felt a weight off your shoulders, you smiled in satisfaction at how you left the house knowing you were not going to answer a single phone call from that man.

--

Jordyn squealed. "Ugh! I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" You laughed at her enthusiasm as you put your hair up in a ponytail. It was day 2 of your trip and you were living life, you couldn't remember the last time you felt this relaxed. Now, of course, you missed your children it'd been the longest you'd ever been apart from them so you were a bit clingy with the calls but it was all understandable.

You two were hitting the beach today and you were a bit nervous, nobody had seen your body in almost a year not even your husband but Jordyn had persuaded you to find your behind in a two-piece bikini and you argued that you'd wear it as long as you could wear a cover-up so it was a deal. You looked yourself over in the mirror, you felt oddly confident. You looked fucking good. Three kids did your body right.

"You sure you want that cover-up?" She teased watching you admire yourself. "Hmm," You angled your lower half so you could check out your bum, how plump it had become over the years. "Maybe not."

She winked. "That's my girl."

You two grabbed what you needed and headed down to the beach which was right in front of the hotel you were staying at. The slight wind brushed against the water sending a cool and comforting breeze your way, your ears wiggled at the sound of the waves, and the giggles of other vacationers enjoying their time like you were.

The cushiony sand had greeted your toes after overflowing onto your sandals. You two travelled until you found a decent spot, it was close to the bar and the body of water. You set up your area as best as you could but you were in a battle with the beach umbrella Jordyn insisted on bringing. She watched with her hand covering her mouth to camouflage her laughter. "Okay, you know what, I'll handle this and you go handle us some drinks."

You childishly stuck out your tongue and strutted your way over to the bar, you hopped on an available stool. The bartender noticed you asking for you to just give him a minute. "No worries." You responded. You went on your phone and checked the many pictures your brother sent of your children, you smiled and a bit of sadness tugged at your heart. You missed your babies dearly.

The number of messages went up and it could only be one person. You promised you wouldn't look but you just had to, you swiped and tapped on your husband's name.

Where the fuck are you!?

The house is a fucking mess!

I'm not cleaning up, I hope you know that.

Baby, come on, we can work this out. Please.

You scoffed at the last message and put your phone down casually being greeted by the bartender who watched your various emotions while you went through your phone. "Everything's okay?"

Oh. Wow.

He presented a sweet smile, your eyes slightly widening at the sight in front of you. He was handsome, scratch that, he was fine as fuck. The shaved head didn't usually work on a lot of men but it did him justice, the scattered tattoos on his pretty and tanned skin, his broad shoulders that looked like they were made for legs to be hooked on and not to mention his big arms that looked like they could hold you snug and tight all through the night.

"Uh, yeah, everything's... everything is good." You stammered, a queasy feeling crept through you as it settled in your lower stomach. Butterflies? But you couldn't even remember what that felt like in order to come to that conclusion.

"Good to know. What can I get you, ma?"

You shuddered at his voice. He could talk to you all day.

"One Long Island, and one Piña Colada please."

He nodded. "Starting off slow I see." He chuckled. "Eh, we're on vacation, gotta soak it all up before we go back."

"I see," He multitasked making your drinks and conversing. "And when does the pretty lady go back?"

You blushed, should you even tell this literal stranger when you're actually leaving? But he felt... comfortable, easy to talk to and it's not like you'd ever see him again. "End of the week."

"Oh, you have plenty of time to get shit-faced." He encouraged. He'd finished your order and placed the liquored-down drinks in front of you. "Don't worry about paying yeah? It's on the house. Enjoy your vacation pretty lady."

"Y/n... you could just call me Y/n."

Not like you wanted him to, pretty lady was working just fine

"Nice to meet you. Oscar... Diaz." He winked. "Thanks, for the drinks."

"Anytime, pretty lady."

Your legs felt wonky as you walked away, and your breathing quickened. You did your best to walk back to Jordyn without looking back, if you did you were pretty sure you'd fall, just clumsy as fuck. "Girl, that man was watching you walk away." She whispered. "Stop." You poked, shoving her drink toward her. "Oh please, his eyes were on you." Jordyn gazed over to the bar, "He's still staring."

You casually whipped your head around and sucked your teeth when you noticed he wasn't. You glared at her. She snickered taking a sip from her Long Island. "Makes good drinks too."

You sighed, "Shut up."

The topic was silenced, you downed a few more drinks but sent Jordyn to get them instead while you swam around in the cooling water, floating around enjoying the peace the water brought you. But you couldn't help but occasionally look over to the bar. Oscar Diaz... nice name. Nice face. Cute little moustache that sat above his lips and a goatee that sat below. Pretty rosy pink lips...

Your eyes darted away. You're married.

Are you though?

You swam back up to the beach, it was beginning to get dark and the patrons on the beach became scarce. You wrapped yourself in a towel and collected anything Jordyn hadn't packed up yet. "You want one more drink before they close up? Maybe your new friend will allow it." She teased. You took off your flip-flop and threw it at her but your reaction only made her laugh.

A familiar voice was heard behind you. "So she's beautiful and she's got good aim, better watch out." 

You quietly gasped. "Hi... Oscar."

"Hey, uhm, listen I own a club not too far from here and you know it's a decent hangout for the locals... and the visitors." He winked. "Wanted to know if you two would like to come check it out?"

You fought back a smile. "We could try." You answer without even thinking. "I'll take that," He reached into his pocket handing you a folded piece of paper, you assumed had the address of the place he owned. Your fingers brushed against his, prickles felt like they were forming on your skin and those weird feelings returned in your lower stomach.

He sent you another wink and headed back off to the bar to close up.

--

Of course, Jordyn was down to go. You groaned internally as you two pulled up to a crowded place, looking up at the illuminated sign reading Cloud 9. Hmm, cute. You pulled down your dress as it rose up with each step, your heels clicking against the cold ground, the music booming so loud you could feel your body vibrating the closer you got to the entrance, flashing lights of different colours beamed through the door every time it opened blinding whoever entered. "Where's your friend?" Jordyn asked. "Have patience, I just told him we got here."

"Mhm." She sassed. Your heart thumped in your ears, it pounded against your chest. What were you doing? It was a question you asked yourself from the moment you got back to your room and began to get ready for tonight. You shook off your thoughts and shifted your eyes over to a black door that slowly began to open. "Hey, over here." Oscar waved you two over and you followed. "What's going on, pretty lady?... And pretty lady's friend."

Jordyn nodded at him as a silent greeting, she was just here to observe your anxious behaviour for her entertainment. "Come on," You followed him through a dimly lit hallway and up a flight of stairs, your nerves building and sudden regret forming in your bones until you entered a brighter atmosphere, the loud music returning to your eardrums. He had led you two to a section that only had a few people, you could assume it was the VIP section.

"Anything you two want to drink just let me know and I got you."

Jordyn raised her eyebrows at the tempting bottle of unopened champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Oscar chuckled granting her permission to open it, she shimmied her shoulders in excitement and got to work. You shook your head at her, you travelled over to the balcony and looks down at all the patrons having the time of their lives, a few familiar faces from the resort and others that weren't recognizable which you could only assume were locals.

Oscar found his place beside you and nudged your shoulder with his. "You want anything to drink?"

"No, not yet, I'm good."

He slowly nodded. "So, what are you doing in Fiji? Besides vacationing."

You huffed, "I just needed time to myself... to get away from shit."

"I hear that." You could just feel those sweet and curious brown eyes boring into the side of your head, you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and looked down at your shoes, just anything to not make eye contact with him. You were shy, you were never shy not even with your husband when you first met him. It's like this was a new feeling, you were queasy and nervous and it honestly felt good in a weird way-- it felt good to not be comfortable, to get all flustered over someone like a schoolgirl crush.

"You really own this place?"

He scrunched up his face. "Half own, I guess. My brother and I came here for an escape just like you and we ended up staying. Now, we own Cloud Nine and I work down at the resort once in a while."

"Oh, you're a busy man."

"I try to be." Oscar chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, why was he so easy to talk to?

You found yourself moving a bit closer. "What were you trying to escape from?"

"Life. I wasn't happy where I was living and I wanted better but... given the circumstances, we just couldn't get it. So I threw a dart on a map, so to speak, it landed on Fiji and we've been here ever since."

"Where are you from then?"

"Originally born in Mexico, we moved to LA, and then out here."

"Would you ever go back to the States?" You asked finally looking up at him knowing he hadn't taken his eyes off you all night. He leaned forward, officially entering your bubble. "If I had a good enough reason... yeah."

You looked up at him through your lashes and softly smiled, meanwhile, Jordyn sat on the couch sipping and shaking her head at the sight in front of her. She would playfully scold you in the morning but tonight she'd let you have your harmless fun.

As the party went on you were getting a bit bored being upstairs so you grabbed your girl and headed downstairs to where the crowd was and of course Oscar was right behind you, he felt a sense of protection over you two tonight given this was your first time out here and inside his establishment. You had found enough confidence to start dancing around, a little two-step from left to right to get you going, but soon the constant flow of drinks Jordyn handed you helped you loosen out of that as well.

The DJ was beginning to play all the oldies, and that was your specialty. Oscar watched in adornment as you killed every lyric, every adlib and every beat to whichever song came on. It had transitioned from a bit of Hip-hop to something a lot slower.

  "Right now, we're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab your lovers and take your time."

The lights changed to blue and a recognizable first note had you close your eyes.

Mmm ooooh, my my my my my my my babyyy ouuuuuu

Jordyn had already found herself dancing with a random woman. She looked widened her eyes at you and quickly flicked them over to Oscar, trying her best to encourage you to make your move. But he was faster. You felt yourself being pulled into his warm embrace, his strong chest against your exposed back, his hands carefully snaking around your waist as if he was worried about you rejecting his touch but you gladly welcomed it.

Melting into his hold you two swayed side to side, he leaned down comfortably nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You were lost in the vibes of Keith Sweat's Right and a Wrong Way. You reached back hooking your arm around his neck lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. "You smell so good, mamita." He whispered, it was a miracle that you heard him. Your lips parted slightly as you felt his warm breath tickle your skin. His swift hands ran up your sides resting right under your breasts and gliding back down to your hips.

A thumping began between your thighs, now that was something you hadn't felt in a long time. You put that feeling to the side no matter how hard it was to do so. The rest of the night it felt like all the songs were targeted for just you two, you hadn't eased up on him once-- always in close proximity to him. He touched you in simple ways, ways you hadn't been touched in almost a year.

It was getting super late, almost three in the morning and you couldn't recall the last time you were out like this, it'd give you hell when you woke up but it was worth it. You and Jordyn rode back to the resort with Oscar, she exited the car first thanking him for the night out and wobbling her way inside. You giggled watching her walk away, "I should get in there before she tries the key on the wrong room."

But you didn't want to leave him.

And he didn't want to leave you.

"Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun."

"No problem, anything to help a pretty lady escape." He bit his lip. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Recovering," You laughed, "But other than that nothing."

"Can I see you again?"

You gulped and nodded. "Mhm."

He laid out his palm your eyebrows furrowed as you rested yours on top of his, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed such a gentle kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, mamita."

You wanted to scream. You left the car putting a little swing in your hips as you walked away, you looked over your shoulder and sent him a cute little wave before disappearing behind the doors.

— —

And that's how you spent the rest of your trip, shamelessly flirting with Oscar. You got to know each other a lot more, when you weren't spending time with Jordyn you were with him. Giggling like an airhead and blushing red like Rudolph's nose.

Jordyn constantly teases you about the crush you'd seem to quickly develop.

"Is this stupid?" You ask shoving your face in the pillow. This all felt too good to be fucking true, a guy that you met only four days ago was treating you so much better than the man you married four years ago. Oscar had flowers for you at the front desk of the resort every morning and sent you the sweetest messages throughout the day about how he was thinking of you, how he caught a glimpse of you today and you looked stunning, calling you the prettiest woman he'd ever seen step on this island.

You convinced yourself they were all lies, sugarcoating you like he probably did every woman but who were you fooling? Certainly not yourself and certainly not Jordyn.

"It's not."

"I'm married." You argued tiredly to which she fake yawned. "I don't see a ring on that finger and I don't see that man treating you any better than Oscar has. Just saying."

The fingers on your right hand brushed your vacant ring finger, you'd taken it off the minute you got on the plane, you didn't want to be reminded of him on this trip at all and yet there was that piece in the back of your mind that reached out to him. Checking his messages once in a while but never responding, he was giving you the attention you wanted but it didn't feel right.

The fact that you had to spontaneously leave to get even a fraction of what you were asking for was bullshit. Downright bullshit.

You groaned sitting up the pads of your fingers now rubbing your temples, tired and stressed. The trip was almost over and you dreaded going back to that house that was no longer a home. He'd sent you pictures that he'd finally cleaned up but you had a feeling once you returned home things would go back to the way they were and you did not want that.

"I think your brother would agree with me, you've smiled more in these past few days than I've seen back home, I mean you two are always so distant when you come over. And don't think I don't hear your rants when you and your brother are on the phone. Now I don't condone cheating but, hey, I didn't see shit."

You sighed checking your phone for any recent texts from your husband but Jordyn caught wind of what you were doing and snatched your device. "Enough with him. Flirt and have fun before you have to go back to normalcy."

You heard your phone buzz in her hand, she looked at the message for you. "Speaking of, someone is downstairs."

You felt nauseous. "Where are you two going anyway?"

"Down to the beach, said he has to restock the bar... and I wanted to spend time with him so I offered to help."

"Mhm." She winked. You grabbed your phone back from her grasp and told her you'd be back soon. You left your room, entered the elevator and headed downstairs where Oscar was happily waiting for you. "Hola querida." He become more comfortable speaking Spanish around you, especially when he noticed how the little nicknames got a reaction out of you.

"Hi," Oscar noticed the shaky tone in your response and made note of it You had comfortably slipped your hand inside his, he immediately hooked his fingers in the spaces of yours. Like he was your puzzle piece.

You two headed down to the decent-sized Hut, your eyes widened at the number of boxes sitting on the sand. "Don't worry, I got the heavy bottles, you just get the small ones." He reassured pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You loved those, so innocent and sweet, although you wish sometimes he'd kiss you on your lips or you had to courage to kiss his. "Think I can't handle the big boxes?" You scoffed walking inside after him.

"I think you can, I just don't think my pretty lady needs to."

My pretty lady.

ugh!

With music playing in the background you two got to work, "Do you still think about running your own restaurant?" You asked sparking a conversation, you squatted down to the lower shelves and propped the glass bottles in an organized fashion, eyes tearing through the material of your sundress and you could feel them. "I do, yeah. Why?"

You bit your lip. "Would it still be down here?"

There was a beat of silence. "Most likely."

Another pause in the moment aside from your soft humming to the music. "You excited to see your kids?" He asked. You smiled at the mere thought of them. "I am. My three little headaches." Oscar found himself next to you, leaning against the counter, you stopped your movements and looked up-- he had one arm folded over the other and a bit of a scowl on his face.

"What?" You innocently question standing up to match his eye line, well more-like chest line. "Nothing, just trying to take my time to remember this face." He reached for your cheek, his fingers ghosting your flesh. "You flirt like this with all the girls here?"

A question that was supposed to come out jokingly but you were a bit serious. "Nah," You squinted at him watching his lips press together, his chest stuttering as he held back a laugh. "You asshole, I knew it." A dramatic hand to your heart as you playfully pouted at him and fake cried. Oscar's arms enveloped you in their warmth, you attempted to push him off but it was no use, your feet suddenly off the ground, you squealed and giggled as he switched positions with you plopping you on top of the counter.

He placed his palms flat on the side of your thighs while he was positioned comfortably between them. "To be fair, hermosa, it is kind of my job. But believe me when I say I've never spent any time with them. And I've definitely never brought them back here after hours." His thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. "Just you, princesa."

You melted, your whole body could be seen physically slumping in his hold. His eyes sparkled while he looked at you, the crinkles in his eyes appearing as he smirked. Before you could comprehend anything his lips brushed yours, your head suddenly becoming foggy with the inappropriate images of him that you'd conjured up these past few days.

His nimble fingers danced along the hem of your dress, a rush of heat passing over you as he hiked it up further exposing more of your flesh.

This was no longer a want... it was a need.

Your hands landed right under his jaw as you pulled him in crashing your lips onto his and he happily reciprocated your energy, his hands wandered up to your hips tugging you closer to him as if it were possible. Your lips moved as one, tongues passing by in the heat of the moment, the only thing on your mind was him and you wanted it to remain so for as long as possible.

Tingles scattered around your body, both of you flushed with lust and arousal. Your hands travelled to the bottom of his shirt quietly begging for him to take it off, you needed to feel his skin, thankfully he got the message-- pulling away for a brief moment to remove his top. Your eyes glazed over his lightly tanned skin, little scars here and there you can only presume he earned before he got here.

You smiled at the strewed ink on his torso, chest and ribs. "What are you thinking about?" He inquired. You looked back up into his brown iris'. "I wish I had met you first." You mumbled drawing him back down, this kiss was a lot more passionate and slow unlike the first.

Oscar's hands gently tugged at the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling over and his calloused hands finding them. You softly moaned against his lips, your nipples hardening from the cool breeze and his fondling. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers, your head tipped back and his teeth nipped at the column of your neck.

You were forming a small pool in your panties at his teasing. His tongue grazed your neck continuously licking and sucking a specific spot that was getting a squirming reaction out of you. You felt his devilish smile, he knew what he was doing to you and he liked it.

His hands moved from torturing your swollen breasts back down to your thighs shoving your dress up until your little black panties were on display. You sat on the edge of the counter making it a bit easier for him to remove them, the cool air hitting your soaking slit.

"Touch me, please, touch me." You whined not caring about how desperate and needy you sounded. Oscar listened to your pleas and dipped one hand between your legs, his fingers quickly finding your slick folds. You shuddered as he glided two fingers up and down, dipping them inside you once in a while.

You were soaking, you were throbbing, and you just wanted him inside you where he fucking belonged. He slowly plunged his fingers inside, you clench around them happy to have something pleasuring you. Your eyes are closed and your legs spread further for him, nails digging into his shoulder blade hopefully leaving little indents.

He pumped them in and out of you with the squidgy noise of your wetness to follow. "Yes... oh yes, like that."

Oscar felt himself twitch under his boxers using his other hand to undo his belt and pulled down his materials. His dick is hard and his tip a rosy pink turning cherry red oozing with a bit of cream, his hips buckled once his hand brushed over it-- equally as desperate as you were. Your erotic moans were like music to his ears, so much sexier than he could've pictured. You whined once he removed them your hole flexing around nothing as you caught your breath.

Oscar hooked your legs over his arms spreading you to his desire, you reached between your bodies firmly (but not too tight) grasping his length and guiding it to your entrance, his swollen head prodding inside you as the rest of him followed.

Your jaw slacked at the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out, he was so thick and it felt so nice. Oscar croaked out a moan while burying himself deep inside your warmth-- coating his dick with your sticky walls, so slick and welcoming that he didn't want to move.

You caressed the back of his neck as he pressed another kiss on yours, trailing it up the side and finally landing on your mouth. You giggled into the kiss, Oscar pulled back with a questioning look. "I can't tell the last time I felt like this." You mumbled under your breath but he heard you. He didn't want you to leave, hell if you didn't have kids he'd probably try to convince you to move out here with him.

He didn't say anything in response just pulled out and pushed back in. "Fuck." You both moaned.

His head dipped back down, nibbling on your sweet skin.

You whimpered through every tantalizing stroke he gave you, his tip poking right at your hot spot and you knew you wouldn't last. "You feel so good!" A sentence broken by little gasps. Oscar grunted, violently gripping your thighs as he pounded you, pulling the filthiest sounds from your pretty little throat. So loud and erotic he was sure they could hear you back at the resort.

Your eyes squeeze in absolute bliss, your head hazy from the constant pleasure you received, quickly feeling a sensation in your lower belly a wave of heat threatening to take over. Your palm lay flat on his back while the other gripped the edge of the counter.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oscar!"

He lifted you off the counter a bit, relentlessly slamming into you now. Your high getting closer and closer. "I can, shit, I can feel you mamita. So fucking tight."

Your toes curled and your eyes rolled. "Baby, ohhh, I need to..."

Oscar smiled. "You wanna cum for me, baby? Come, mi amor, all of it."

His words tipped you off the edge, your back arched and your body trembled from the shockwaves of your orgasm, he held you closely revelling in your pulsating pussy dripping down his shaft.

He quickly brought you off the countertop, your wobbly legs barely holding your support. He turned you around, you barely recovered from the first position.

You were sensitive and extra wet just how he wanted you. You flinched when he pressed himself against your entrance once again, pushing in ever so carefully. "Fuck... you."

He laughed menacingly, his hands squeezing your hips. "That's what I'm doin' pretty lady."

You wanted to give him a smart-ass answer but it was cut short when he began to move. Your nipples were hard against the surface, you rested your head down and whined. "So fucking good."

"Yeah?" He chuckled spanking you. He was enjoying the pornographic sounds that you provided, all going straight to his dick.

He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you up against him, back pressed on his chest, his warm breath in your ear. "Can't get enough of you I swear." He admitted.

He poked and prodded against that familiar spot, tears of overwhelming pleasure threatening to spill when he pinched your nipple. "Fuck! I'm gonna miss you, so fucking much."

"You gonna think about me?"

"Yes! Oh!"

You felt him twitch inside you, you smiled egging him on. "I won't stop thinking about you, when I touch myself I'll picture it's you-"

"Fuck, cariño,"

"Ou, you're the only one I want inside me."

You convulsed around him feeling another orgasm quickly building and getting ready to fall apart. A few more thrusts and Oscar held himself still inside you, your body shivering at the warm cream he just spilled inside you. His high triggering yours. You reached behind hooking your arm around his now sweaty neck.

The sound of the wind against the water and the waves crashing describe exactly how you felt right now.

"Oh... my god." You said breathlessly.

"You're okay?" He asked with a laugh. You giggled tipping your head back on to his shoulder. "Better than okay."

He sighed kissing your back. "I meant it..." You said.

"What?"

"I'm gonna miss you."

He smiled sheepishly. "I'll miss you too."

--

Those moments replayed in your head constantly, it was the only thing getting you by once you came back home. You two still talked every day, called and FaceTimed but it wasn't enough. You would stare at the prices of tickets and sigh, you couldn't afford to go back right now.

Your life was the same, unloved and unappreciated, despite the embarrassingly desperate messages your husband had sent when you were on your trip. You stared at another pile of dishes, your shoulder sinking with exhaustion. With your two older ones at school and your son almost an hour into his nap you decided to just relax. You clicked on Netflix and attempted to finish Bridgerton's, Queen Charlotte.

Your eyelids felt heavy, sleep threatened to take over but the doorbell had them shoot open. It wasn't just one ring it was multiple and it was annoying so you assumed it was your brother. You groaned trudging to the door. You swung it open aggressively, ready to give him a piece of your mind. "You're going to wake-"

There he was. Standing in front of you, on your doorstep... at your house. "O-Oscar..." You poked his chest to see if he was really there. "Said I'd come back when I have a good reason." Your eyes softened, your arms reaching for him. His lips immediately find yours. "I," kiss, "fucking," kiss "missed you."

Your legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped inside closing the door. He carried you over to the couch and plopped you on the cushions. You laughed, your mood immediately changing with him around. "Jordyn told you where I lived didn't she?"

He nodded. You rolled your eyes. "Of course."

"Not happy to see me?"

You pulled him down for another kiss.

"Beyond happy."

I was going to wait until the weekend to post this but I am a little too excited to get this out.

Shoutout to my girl @darqchilddaydreamz for her input on a few things and her encouragement. Holdin it down ✊🏾

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

Alsooooo thank you for 800 followers, yall cool as fuck thanks for fucking with me and my antics.

Peace and love see you in the next one✌🏾

🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit

[bugs013]

“You stayed?”

Spencer Reid x BAU!Reader

Not my pics

Warnings- basic criminal minds violence, blood, hospitalization, nightmares, mentions of suicide, mentions of making out, use of ‘Y/N’ but only a few times, i don’t think any pronouns were used but correct me if i’m wrong! Lmk if i missed anything!

A/N- this is my first time actually writing something so it’s not the best. I wrote this for my sister and she wouldn’t shut up about it so here it is lol. Also I’m dyslexic so if there are any mistakes then please let me know! (I reread it at least 3 times lmao) i’m open to criticism just don’t be too extreme pls lol

When you started at the BAU everyone seemed pretty nice except for one person, Spencer Reid, you weren’t sure why but for some reason you two just didn’t get along. As time went on nothing changed. The team tried to get you two to be friends but it never worked, everyone just got used to it, simple shaking their head or laughing when the two of you would glare at each other or make comments about each other’s ‘bad’ performances.

This case has been horrible, you’ve gotten so many leads but it keeps hitting dead ends, everyone was sitting around the table pissed until Spencer of course figured something out. He started writing on the board.

Morgan noticed first, his brows furrowed. “Whatcha got kid?”

At that everyones heads snap up at Reid and the board, why is he so stupidly smart?, there is silence for a moment as everyone shares some confused glances.

Spencer rambles on about where we will find the unsub and how, it took a minute to explain but soon enough everyone is up and heading to a house where supposedly the unsub will be.

You, Morgan and Rossi go in the back while JJ, Reid and Hotch go through the front. Everyone searches around but no one is in the house, that is until You and Spencer find a way to the basement, Spencer went down the creaky stairs but before you could even make it down two step’s Spencer was hit by the unsub, you point your gun at the man.

“Let me see your hands!”

He points a gun at his hostage’s head, holding her tightly with his free arm. “I’ll shoot!”

You glance over to see Reid was back up with his gun pointing at the unsub as well, geez that was fast.

“She is not who you think she is. You don’t want to kill her.” Spencer said to the man.

“She killed my girlfriend! She deserves to die!”

“She had nothing to do with it, she’s innocent. Lily killed herself Adrian. She was hurting herself.”

“Shut up! You’re lying!” The gun now pointed at Spencer and you can see that he’s about to pull the trigger, as soon as you hear the gun shot you quickly jumped in front of the bullet, you have no clue what came over you but all you know is the pain you felt in your shoulder was brutal. You hit the ground with a loud yelp, you look to your shoulder and see the blood oozing out. “Shit”

“Y/N!” Spencer shouts as he soon fell to his knees next to you.

But then you see the unsub running up the stairs and you push Spencer with you free hand, the other over your bleeding wound. “He’s getting away idiot.” But Spencer didn’t bother moving, besides the rest of the team already had the guy now. He shouts that you need an ambulance and the last thing you remember was Spencer shaking you and saying; “stay with me Y/N.” As your vision then went black.

~~~~

You wake up to the sound of machines beeping around you and the cool air of the hospital giving you chills, the thin blanket draped over you didn’t do much to warm you. You blink a few times as your vision slowly unblurs, then you realize someone was holding your hand, you squint to see who it was and when you realize it was Reid you squeeze his hand gently and his head pops up. “You’re awake?”

“You stayed?” He smiled softly. Then he glances at your interlocked hands, he clears his throat as he pulls his hand back awkwardly. Your brows furrowed and you chuckle weakly. “I don’t mind.”

His brows raised and he gives a bit of a confused look before then speaking again. “Why did you do that?” He asked. “Do what?” You ask, forgetting that you literally took a bullet for him some hours ago.

“Don’t be dumb.” He said before answering your question. “Jump in front of the bullet?”

“Ohh.” You shrug. “The team needs you…” His brows furrowed. “So? They need you too.” You shrug with one shoulder. “Yeah but without you half the cases would never get solved.” “That’s not true-” “Spencer. It’s true and you know it. We sat in that room for hours, days even, constantly hitting nothing but dead ends…until a little nerd finally figured it out and look, we got the guy-” You paused, you don’t remember if they actually got the guy. “Wait we did get him right?” Spencer chuckled softly as he nods. “Yeah, we got him.” You laugh softly. “Good.”

~~~~

It’s been about 4 weeks now since you had gotten shot and the whole time Spencer was by your side, while in the hospital and after. it was nice, but he was only doing it because he owed you, right? I mean you did save him from a bullet. You have basically fully healed now though.

Spencer is over at you apartment, you already told him you were fine on your own but he insisted on staying while you were hurt and he is still insisting to stay while you get over it all too. And while you did appreciate the help a lot you were starting to feel things you didn’t think you’d ever feel for him. The two of you are enemies, the only time you are ever civil is on the field. But now that you have actually spent some time together and got to know each other, you like him. You like him?

You yawned as you adjust your position on the couch, your eye lids were barely open when you heard Spencer speak. “Tired?” You nodded lazily. “Well i made some soup, you should eat before you go to sleep.” He says as he walks over to the couch. “Mmm, that sounds sooo good but ‘m sooo tired…” You said as you forced yourself to sit up. “It’s only 6:40, you can’t be that tired, can you?” You yawned and shrugged as you sat up. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.” He gives a bit of a confused look. “Oh, why didn’t you get sleep?” “Nightmares.” You say with another shrug. “Nightmares?” He asked and you nodded. “Do you want to talk about it?” You shook your head and got up, walking towards the kitchen. “Come on, food’s gonna get cold.” You say, ignoring the look of concern that filled his face. He’s worried but he can’t force you to talk so he just reluctantly follows you to the kitchen.

~~~~

Your were still drowsy as you put your bowl in the sink but the food did give you at least a little energy. “Y’know, I still don’t understand how you’re such a good cook, i can barely make grilled cheese without burning it.” You say with a little chuckle, Spencer has cooked some pretty delicious food throughout the past weeks and at first you told him he was a bad cook but then he stopped cooking so you had to tell the truth. He lets out a soft laugh as he followed behind, placing his bowl in the sink as well. “It’s easy, just read some cook books, watch some videos and try.” He said as the two of you make your way to the couch.

~~~~

You lay on the couch, your legs hang over the armrest giving Spencer enough room to sit on the other side, near your head. You were asleep, well that’s what Spencer thought at least but when he clicked off the TV and got up to leave he felt a hand on his own and heard your sleepy, quiet voice. “Don’t go…” His brows furrowed as he looked down at you for a moment. “It’s almost nine-” “please…” You interrupted and squeezed his hand lazily. He was sorta confused but then he sits back down. You put your head on his lap as you start to doze back off. “Thank you…”

Spencer fell asleep confused that night.

~~~~

The next morning you wake up to the smell of coffee and you smile, he really stayed? With a yawn and a stretch you got up and went to the kitchen, seeing Spencer with a book in hand, a random one from your bookshelf, you walk over to him. “Did you actually stay all night?” You ask as you lean against the counter, his back still facing you. He spun around at the sound of your voice, putting the book down on the counter and giving you an sweet yet awkward, soft smile. “Yeah, you wanted me to didn’t you? Besides you fell asleep on my lap so i kinda had no choice.” He shrugs a little and you chuckled. “You didn’t have to stay, you could’ve told me to move.” But he shook his head. “You were tired, i didn’t want to wake you up.” You shrugged but then your brows furrowed as you realized you didn’t wake up in the middle of the night like you have been. “Hey! y’know I didn’t have nightmares last night? I actually slept through the night.” You smiled, thankful that you finally got a full nights rest. “Really?” He says as he pours some coffee in a mug, handing it to you. “Yeah, that’s the first time in like a week.” You say, taking the coffee and saying a soft thank you as well. “Thank you for staying…i think that helped…” You looked down at the coffee in your hand as you spoke. Spencer smiles softly. “Oh, it’s no problem, although it would’ve been nice to at least have a blanket.” He joked, after all he was in an awkward position sitting on the couch without a blanket or pillow, but he was just happy you got to sleep well. You chuckled. “Ah, yeah sorry, the couch probably wasn’t very comfortable.” “It’s ok i’m just glad you got some sleep.”

~~~~

It’s been three days of Spencer staying at your apartment to help you sleep at night and the two of you have gotten pretty close, neither of you were really sure why but somehow him being there helped. It’s now 6 PM and you’re helping watching Spencer make dinner for the two of you. You were having a good time just chatting and laughing. At some point you turned on some music, when a song you like starts playing you smile as you took his hands into your own and make him dance with you. When the song ends the two of you were face to face. Both of you froze as you stare at each other for a moment and then slowly the gap between you closed and your lips met in a soft kiss. You felt like a swarm of butterflies had been let loose inside your stomach. Spencer slowly pulled away and both of your faces were flushed. “Um…” You felt like your heart stopped for a minute, ‘did he hate it? Did you ruin everything?’. You thought until you were snapped from your thoughts by his lips pressed back onto yours. Well there’s your answer. As you kiss back your hands go up to his hair while his hands cupped your cheeks holding your face to his. The kiss quickly grew more passionate as your tongues invaded each other’s mouth hungrily and his hands began to carefully roam your body.

Ping

Both yours and Spencer’s phone went off with a text from Garcia; duty calls!

You groan as you heard the devices, knowing it’s probably work. The two of you separate as you check your phones to see that of course it’s time for work. “Stupid job.” Spencer chuckled lightly as he pulled you in for one more gentle kiss before the two of you ate quickly then headed off to the BAU.

~~~~

(a little bonus cuteness)

On the jet ride back home you were exhausted, you end up falling asleep on Spencer’s shoulder and as Spencer carefully covered you with a blanket and kissed the top of your head JJ noticed, she furrowed her brows at Spencer and he gives a little smile then rest his head on yours and closed his eyes, soon falling asleep as well.

[moonlightisdancing]

Grapefruit Juice/j.m.k

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Warnings: NSFW MINORS DNI 18+ jealousy, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), dom josh/sub reader, food play, a little bit of discipline & cockwarming if you squint, mocking/teasing, praisepraisepraise

as always pls lmk if any tags are missed

a/n: this one’s been brewing since this picture dropped… sorry to keep it for so long…

——————🧡——————

“I don’t like that you do that.” You huff, throwing yourself into a chair opposite of where Josh’s sitting.

“What’s the matter? Jealous?” He smirks, stretching his arm across the back of the couch.

“No! Just- what if you get sick or something? It’s not always about jealousy, Josh.”

“Seems to me like you’re pretty jealous. Maybe I should bring one of those girls back here instead.”

“What do you mean?” You know what he means, you were more giving him a chance to fix his statement than you were asking for clarification.

“I mean I came back here, ready to fuck my girl after a long show, and she’s bitching because I kissed a couple fans. But those fans,” He leans forward while waving his hand towards the door of the green room. “They’d be glad to watch me touch myself, let alone be the one doing it.”

“Then do it.” If he wants to play games, you’ll play, too. You knew he wouldn’t actually bring someone backstage, especially for sex, it was more risky than a kiss. Josh sighs and stands from the couch before making his way to the door.

“Yeah? And make you watch?” A tinge of jealousy resurfaces as you watch him slowly wrap his fingers around the door handle. He looks back at you, almost waiting for you to protest his actions, but you don’t. No matter how much jealousy boils inside, you won’t let him win. Gripping the arm rests with your hands, you begin pushing yourself out of the chair.

“Aht, sit and stay.” Josh glares at you with a hint of annoyance, his coffee brown eyes warning you to obey him.

The worst part is you did obey him.

Sitting and wallowing in your shame, you wait for what feels like forever before Josh returns. His presence lingers behind the door, his voice low as he speaks to someone. When a female voice responds, all sense of security is ripped from you. The door handle rustles before finally opening, Josh peeking his head through the gap.

“Look at you, all obedient and shit,” He quips, staring deep into your soul as he brings the rest of his body inside the room, shutting the door behind him. He changed and returned with… A grapefruit? Josh is wearing his usual outfit, those damned khaki pants and a white t-shirt he somehow always kept white. He barely removed his makeup, remnants of black eyeliner smeared across his lower lash line. Your eyes can’t stop watching as he tosses the grapefruit in his hand, effortlessly catching it each time.

Josh makes his way to the couch in silence, leaning back into the cushions as he continues staring at you. He was playing a game, granted you weren’t sure what kind. Josh digs his thumbs into the top of the grapefruit, and just when you think he’d start peeling it, he turns it around and presses his thumbs into the other side. You inch yourself forward on the chair, trying your best to understand what the hell he’s doing. While he continues with the silence, working his fingers into the fruit, you decide to keep the game going.

“So where’s the lucky girl?” You chide, and disregarding the length of your skirt you cross one leg over the other. Josh’s eyes can’t help but meet your lace covered core as you catch him biting his lip.

“Oh, she’s right in front of me,” He sighs, licking the grapefruit juice off his thumbs before adjusting himself on the couch. “Except I wouldn’t call her lucky.”

The sight of his thumbs tucked between his pretty lips drives you mad. Oh how you wish it was your mouth he shoved his fingers into until you gagged on the flavor.

“Yeah? And why is that?”

“Because you’re not allowed to touch me, only watch.” His free hand reaches down and begins undoing the zipper and button to his pants, he isn’t wearing underwear allowing his thick cock to be instantly on display. Your eyes widen at the sight of him, and quickly fall at the remembrance of his words.

Not allowed to touch.

But you were instructed to watch, so you do. Your eyes fix on his hands fiddling the grapefruit and only then did you put the pieces together. Josh’s left hand slowly inches down his torso until his cock is settled in his palm, his right hand bringing the grapefruit to his tip. Josh winces at the feeling of the cold citrusy juice dripping down his length onto his pelvis. All you want is to lick him clean as the juice continues spilling onto his tan skin. Each painfully slow flick of his wrist makes more of a mess both of him and you, a warm slick pooling at your core. Desperate for any sort of contact, you squeeze your crossed legs tighter together and roll your hips.

“Shame you’ve been such a brat, wish your pussy was making a mess instead…” Josh furrows his brows as he works the deep pink fruity flesh over his shaft, careful not to make too much of a mess on the white couch below him.

“Please?” You desperately whine at the thought of him inside of you.

“I don’t think so. Sit back for me, mamas.” He gestures with his left hand, his right still slowly working the grapefruit over his cock. You follow his instructions, uncrossing your legs to sit back against the chair.

“Go ahead, touch yourself for me.” Josh instructs, his pace growing slower.

You reach your hands down and pull your panties to the side, running your fingers through your velvety folds. He hums in approval as you begin working your fingers over your bud. Having him so close yet so far away is punishment in and of itself, but your inability to get off on your own is just as bad. You watch his cock stretch the grapefruit, fucking the insides into a pulpy mess only wishing that were you. In a desperate attempt to feel any semblance of him inside, you dip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, trying to curl them the way he does. Josh raises his eyebrows and watches you in amusement, shaking his head back and forth.

“Josh…” You mewled, eyes silently begging him for more.

“You make it so hard to be mad at you,” He sighs again and stops jerking himself off, calling you over with two fingers.

You lower your legs to the ground before bringing yourself to the edge of the chair and ultimately to your knees, crawling across the floor until you kneeled between his legs. Waiting for instructions, your eyes remain fixed on the grapefruit resting at the base of his cock. Josh slowly works the citrus up his length again, hissing at the feeling as it engulfed his tip, popping off the top with a lewd sound that echoes against the walls.

“See that?” He asks in a deep, sultry voice, gesturing to the fruit induced mess at the base of his cock.

“Mhm...” You hum and nod.

“Clean it up.”

You begin reaching your hand up, and when your fingers barely wrap around his shaft, he slaps your hand and grabs your wrist.

“Did I tell you to touch me?” He scoffs, tossing your arm to the ground.

“Well, how am I-”

“How am I?” He mocks, a smirk forming at the corners of his lips. “You’re allowed to use your tongue, that’s it. Now clean it up.”

With the sting of his touch fresh on your hand, you’re much more mindful of where your hands rest as you begin licking his skin clean. You aren’t typically one for grapefruit, but Josh makes it your favorite flavor. You lap at and slurp the tangy juice and pulp, dragging your tongue across every inch of his pelvis and cock until nothing remains on his skin. Josh nods as you hover your mouth over his leaking tip, giving you permission to feed his shaft into your mouth.

You are careful, mindful and gentle with each passing of your tongue over his delicate skin, grateful he’s allowing you to touch him so much. Hesitantly, you bring one hand up and press it against his balls, softly rolling them in your palm. It’s not long before precum leaks from his tip, quickly followed by his hot release as he begins fucking your throat. Stinging in the back of your throat is present accompanied by tears pooling in the corners of your eyes as his cum spills down your throat.

“Such a good girl, swallow for me.” He encourages.

At the conclusion of your task, Josh brings his hand to cradle your face, wiping your tears before trailing his thumb down to trace your bottom lip.

“You want a treat?” Josh asks almost condescendingly, but you know he means well.

You nod your head yes and his other hand meets your lips with a wedge of grapefruit tucked between his thumb and index, gently pushing the sticky fruit into your mouth. Josh continues pushing pieces of tangy goodness onto your tongue, praising you when each piece was swallowed.

“So pretty when your mouth’s full, mamas.”

“Thank you,” You blush, turning into his palm. It’s amazing how even in these moments he remains sweet as can be.

“C’mere,” Josh helps you to your feet, placing his hands on the backs of your thighs to guide you over his waist. His fingertips knead your skin, lips working over the bit of cleavage your tank top allows. Josh’s hands inch up until they meet your panties, tugging them to the side with fervor. He reaches his hand further between your thighs until ultimately giving you what you want, his fingers buried deep inside. You fight the urge to grasp onto his shoulders as you follow his instructions, instead digging your nails into your own thighs.

Not allowed to touch.

“Fuck, you’re so wet, baby.” Josh’s breath hitches in his throat as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out. The only thing you want more in this moment is to sink down onto his length and feel him the closest way you can. Sensing your desire, he removes his fingers and places his hands on your hips, pushing you down onto his cock. Still unsure if you can touch him, you grip the edges of your skirt instead, your knuckles turning white with pleasure.

Josh holds you down on his cock as he begins kissing up your neck, sending chill bumps across your skin and drawing a whine from your lips. You could feel the heat creeping across your chest and cheeks as his teeth grazed your earlobe.

“You can touch me now,” Josh mumbled into your skin. It’s a matter of seconds before your fingers find themselves tangled in his hair, tugging handfuls at the base as he gently starts to fuck into your aching pussy.

Josh’s hands travel from your hips to laying flat across your back before he wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to his chest. Each thrust is intentional and melodic in its own way, the unusual angle hitting new spots neither of you knew about. Josh’s forehead becomes coated in a thin sheen of sweat pressed against your chest as his lips leave marks across your breasts.

Your head falls forward, cheek resting against Josh’s curly mess of hair as your arms wrap around his head and neck. The two of you find a rhythm that works, switching between lifting your hips and slamming them down to match his movements and grinding your clit against his pelvis. You pull his hair enough to bring his head back, exposing his lips to the cool air of the room. His chin is wet in a delicious combination of sweat and saliva from the open mouth kissing across your breasts, but that doesn’t stop you from pressing your lips against his to taste him. He tastes sweet, salty and desperate in all of the right ways.

Passion and pleasure washes the two of you as you both come undone in one anothers grasp, the unraveling threads intertwining and sewing you together. Soft uh’s and both your names fill the air as you tighten around Josh’s length, ultimately aiding in his warm release pouring into you. You think of the way his pretty pink cock looked tearing through the grapefruit, thankful that you got to feel the stretch he previously only let you watch from across the room.

The two of you lay together, Josh’s softening dick still buried inside your throbbing cunt. Even without being hard, he fills you perfectly. Tired kisses are exchanged alongside a mumbled mix of I love you’s and other domestic thoughts before he clears his throat and speaks.

“You done being jealous now?” Josh chides, smirking against your lips.

“M’not jealous.” You groaned.

“S’okay if you are, you’re still my baby.”

[cheolhub]

PLS DO DOM YEONJUN WITH NOONA READER I BEG U 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

SLXT! — CHOI YEONJUN ࿐

summary. jealousy makes you say some things you don’t really mean. good thing yeonjun is kind enough to teach you a lesson or two.

wc. 1.4k

warnings. MEAN DOM!YEONJUN, sub f!reader, heavy degradation, use of the word slut, face and throat fucking, light praise, throat pie (?), teasing cuz it’s yj, jealousy & possessiveness (v brief), light dumbification (?), yeonjun is sooo condescending :( — MINORS DNI 18+

note. heyyy, i didn’t proofread this at all and the ending kinda sucks, but ty for requesting this <333 i don’t write honorifics in any of my works, but i still hope u enjoy this :) it’s all over the place lol. p.s. if i miss anything in the warnings lmk!

yeonjun can be so mean when he wants to. :( don’t get him wrong, he loves you and is borderline obsessed with you– which is exactly the reason why you shouldn’t be talking back to him. or calling him names. or threatening to fuck his friends just because you’re jealous.  

now he has no other choice but to use you as his own personal fleshlight for the night. 

“so much to say now, huh?” yeonjun grunts as his hands push your face into his pelvis. you gag over his cock that is now lodged in your throat. “c’mon, lemme hear it, baby. what is it you called me again?” he pretends to think, humming in a near condescending manner. “an asshole? a piece of shit?”

his grip in your hair tightens, pulling you off him. you’re gasping, coughing, spluttering over your saliva– which also seems to be dripping and bubbling around your mouth and chin. he smirks at the sight of you, biting back a mean laugh. 

“why don’t you tell me the last thing you called me, sweetheart.” he coos, a soft hand cupping your mascara streaked cheek. his voice and ginger actions nearly deceive you, but as soon as you lean into his hand, he taps your cheek twice with a laugh, reminding you that he is anything but your sweet, loving boyfriend right now. “i said, tell me what you fuckin’ said, baby, or did sucking me off make you stupid again?”

you whine at his words, squeezing your thighs together as the dull ache in your cunt becomes unignorable. “called you a slut…”

“that’s right. and why did my pretty baby call me that?” he feigns innocence by showing you his infamous mock-pout. 

you frown remembering, “‘cuz…”

“‘cuz what?”

“‘cuz… i thought you were flirting with the bartender.” you mumble, eyes averting from his. 

yeonjun hums, “and instead of talking to me you went off and tried to get beomgyu’s dick wet–”

you object, eyebrows furrowing in anger at the accusation, “i didn’t!”

the hand tangled in your hair pulls harshly. he bends to where his face hovers right over yours. “don’t fucking lie to me. you and i both know there’s only one person here dumb enough to believe that lie ‘n you know it’s not me.” he spits. 

you barely remember it, honestly. the entire encounter prior to the moment you were in now was a blur. you were tipsy after two shots, and maybe you made it up, but after leaving the bathroom and seeing yeonjun laughing at the young, beautiful, giggly bartender, you may have… jumped to conclusions. 

you weren’t sure what to do, blood boiling at the way she looked at him as if he were the most fuckable man on earth. you (poorly) decided to spend the night with beomgyu and soobin instead. flirting, laughing, leaning into beomgyu with the most innocent smile and calling him all types of pretty names. 

yeonjun, if it weren’t already blatantly obvious, was angry. why had you given all of your attention to his best friend and not him? he knew something changed in your demeanor once you’d come back from the bathroom, but he wasn’t sure what.

“babe, what’s wrong with you?” he’d asked, pulling you outside the bar even though you’d told him you didn’t want to. “you’re acting weird.”

“and you’re an asshole!” you emphasized, poking him in the chest with your index finger. you know you’d never act like this if you had been closer to the right state of mind.

“what?” he asked, confusion filling his face. “how am i an asshole?”

“you’re such a piece of shit, i can’t believe you! you’re always flirting with other girls like a fucking slut,” you snapped, a deep scowl and red hot eyes over taking your features. 

“me? i’m the one who was flirting?” he scoffed. “sweetheart, need i remind you that you were two seconds from sucking beomgyu’s dick if i hadn’t stepped in.”

you laugh sarcastically, eyes rolling, “well, maybe i should go in there and do it!”

you don’t think you’d ever seen him so mad in your entire time of knowing one another. his hand gripped your smaller bicep and pulled you to the car, muttering “we’re going home,” under his breath. you immediately sobered up in said car, bringing up why you were so jealous and going as far as apologizing, but he told you to “save it.”

that’s how you ended up on your bruised knees on the hardwood with yeonjun fucking your face with his stupidly nice cock. 

“i-i-i was jus’ mad, junnie, ‘m sorry.” you try to excuse, but he just chuckles. 

“awww, you’re sorry? my stupid girl is sorry now?” he coos once more. “you call me a slut and then act like one with my best friend and now you’re sorry?” with every word, his tone grows harsher and so does the grip in your hair. 

you nod dumbly, his words making you shift slightly for the tiniest bit of friction. “please forgive me…” you plead softly, tears filling your eyes. 

“make me cum and i’ll think about it,” he hisses, standing to his full height and guiding himself back into your warm, wet mouth. he doesn’t even give you a chance to adjust before he’s shoving his cock down your constricting throat. 

he can’t even help but groan, because, fuck, is your mouth a godsend. looking down makes him even more vocal, seeing your eyes screwed shut as messy tears escape you and your swollen lips wrapped around his girth– you’re fucking gorgeous like this. 

yeonjun knows he’ll have to forgive you because he’s already so close with his hard cock twitching inside your throat. the fact that you’re taking him so well despite your inability to breathe properly is also sending him. 

your blunt nails dig into his thighs as you continuously gag and moan around him. your pussy is beyond soaked at this point and the pain from being untouched is unbearable. you’re so aroused by his dominance and roughness that you’re compelled to get yourself off on his shoe.

you decide against it, though, in attempts to salvage any dignity you have left. you go for rubbing your thighs together as roughly as possible instead, broken, high-pitched whines erupting in your throat and vibrating yeonjun’s length. 

“look at my little slut,” he pants, a smile adorning his face. “trying to get off while she sucks my cock. that’s cute, baby, really.” 

you sob, digging your nails deeper, sure to leave a mark in his delicious thick thighs. you manage to get your eyes open to see the beautiful sight of him before you. his hair sticking to his forehead, his mouth hanging open as he lets out his pretty moans, and his eyes screwed shut in pleasure. 

you choke on his cock again, yet he has no mercy, fucking your face through everything. you gag and moan and make the lewdest sounds and it brings him all the more closer to his highly anticipated release. 

the icing on the cake for him is one of your hands leaving his thigh to hide in between your legs. you’re so desprate you can’t even wait and he finds it so fucking hot. 

“fuck, baby, ‘m gonna cum…” he moans, actions becoming even rougher. when you whine, he chuckles breathily. “yeah, you want that? want me to cum in this tight lil throat?” 

you attempt to nod your head, but it proves to be challenging, so you just eagerly gargle out, “mhm!”

your affirmation vibrates his entire body once more and he can’t seem to hold back.“fuck,” he mumbles, growing closer and closer– endless swears slipping from his mouth. “fuck, fuck, fuck,” he nearly cries, pushing in and out of your throat, one, two, three times before he stills with a whine. his cum fills your throat and you do your best to swallow without choking, but your body betrays you. as soon as he pulls you off, you cough up his cum, letting it spill out of your mouth and dress your already-messy chin and neck. 

you’re panting for breath and your throat is sore, but he smiles. “did so well for me, pretty…”

your voice is hoarse and meek when it comes out, “am i forgiven?”

“‘course i forgive you. you’re all mine and i’m all yours, pretty girl, don’t forget that.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[flower-won]

Think about it || y.j.h x reader

*ﾟ⋆｡˚✩⋆｡˚✰⋆:ﾟ･* *ﾟ⋆｡˚✩⋆｡˚✰⋆:ﾟ･* *ﾟ⋆｡˚✩⋆｡˚✰⋆:ﾟ･*

Jeonghan x gn!reader, p w very little plot

WC: 1.8k

written for a friend and got a bit carried away…

Warnings: smut 18+, reader had breasts and vagina, head (R receiving), fingering, pussy slapping, multiple orgasms, pussy slapping, overstimulation, aftercare, dom!hannie, spit as lube, creampie

pls lmk if i missed any !!

smut under the cut

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Jeonghan’s fingertips were warm on your skin. You were cuddled up with him on the couch watching a movie when you started to feel his hand move to your thigh.

“Hannie please … Can we finish the movie first?” You asked in a soft whisper before looking up at him.

He pressed a small kiss to your lip before nodding. “Of course, anything for you.”

His hand stayed lingering on the inside of your thigh, the feeling of need and want was building in your core while Jeonghan squeezed your thigh.

A small nose slipped from your lips when his hand was too close. His pinky brushed against your clothed wet heat and he raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said we should wait.”

You looked over at him, his eyes were dark and hooded with his bangs covering just past his eyelashes. His eyebrow gently quirked up signaling for you to answer the question while his pinky graced your underwear again.

A shiver ran down your spine before shaking your head “Now.” You said in a whisper.

Jeonghan took your chin between his thumb and pointer finger before tugging your face close “I can’t hear you baby.”

“Now, please.” You said in a slightly louder voice.

The second you stopped talking Jeonghan went in for a kiss. It was hot and filled with need as he tugged you into his lap. He pulled away gasping for air before pushing his hands up your bare thighs. He stopped just when his finger tips reached the top of your panties. He wrapped his index fingers along the hips before tugging you close and whispering “I can’t believe I can call you mine.”

You moved and wrapped your arms around his neck, tugging him into a kiss as he finally took your underwear off and tossed it to the side. Your bare cunt pressing against Jeonghan’s growing erection sent shivers through your body.

“Please touch me..” You whisper into his ear and started pressing soft kisses against his neck.

He let out soft moans as he drug his nails up your thighs, faint red marks were left behind. The pain was quickly gone before he started rubbing soft circles on your clit.

“Already so wet for me, and all I did was touch your thighs a little.” Jeonghan whispered through a smile against your cheek before pushing two fingers into your hole.

“More hannie, p-please.” You whined and rocked your hips against his hand. The only thing in your mind was him. The way his dark eyes looked at you still with so much love, the way his free hand was pressing small crescents into your thigh, or the way you could feel his heart beat against yours. All you needed was him

“Patient love, just gotta open you a little more.” He said and pushed one more finger into your hole.

“H-Holy shit~” You whimpered and covered your mouth. “Please please i’m ready just fuck me.”

Jeonghan scoffed and rolled his eyes “Be patient for once and maybe.”

The sudden change in his attitude had you soaring. He wasn’t usually too cocky but this … it was too much in the best way.

Jeonghan could tell you were close by the way your breathing shifted and your walls were squeezing around him. “Aren’t you gonna ask if you can cum? hm?”

The look you gave him made you look crazy. “Y-You never make me ask..” You whimpered as your legs started shaking

“Then maybe you need to learn how to listen.” He said as he pulled his fingers out right as you were about to cum.

“What the fuck jeonghan.” You said and hit his chest, your face a bright red with frustration.

All of a sudden you were laid against the adjacent coffee table with him leaning over you. “What are you gonna listen now?” He said as he laid his palm against your wet core.

“Why should i ask about cumming, it’s my release not yo-“ You were cut off by a harsh slap against your cunt.

Pain was replaced by pleasure in an instant. “I’ll repeat again, are you going to listen?” He said in a strict tone as he leaned back to tug his shirt off.

You started in awe at his smooth slightly toned chest and nodded. Your cunt was met with another slap. “Words.”

“Yes!” You shouted back to him with tears brimming your eyes. “Please, i’m so close.” You said as a year fell down the side of your cheek.

Jeonghan laughed softly and pushed your legs apart, gripping the inside of your thighs as he leaned down and pressed small kisses on your thighs. “Since you asked so nicely.”

In an instant your heart was in your throat. Jeonghans lips were wrapped around your swollen clit. Your orgasm was already building up again but it sent you over the edge when he pulled away to spit on your hole, and sunk two fingers in.

Relief flooded your body as he continued to help ride out your high. “See love? all you had to do was ask, now do you want more or no.” He said as he rested his head against your thigh. His big brown eyes looking straight at you as he pressed kisses all around your cunt before leaving one more on your clit.

You jumped softly at the sudden kiss and nodded “Please, I want to be full.” You said and closed your legs and sat upright.

Jeonghan stood up so he was standing in front of you and glanced down at his loose sweatpants “Take them off for me love.” He said and pushed a strand of hair softly behind your ear.

Your eager hands went to his waistband and tugged his underwear and pants down together, his thick hard cock stood in your face as you moved your hands to touch him before he grabbed your wrists.

“I’m here for you, don’t worry about that today.” He said and pulled you up and tugged your shirt off.

“God you’re gorgeous.” He whispered and tugged you into a messy kiss. A soft whimper left your lips as his cock rubbed against your cunt.

Jeonghan grunted pulling away from the kiss before he turned you around and pushed you forward. Making you bend over the coffee table. He hissed as he looked you up and down, your hips pushing back against nothing. “Pathetic.” He said softly and leaned down a bit spreading your lips and pushed in two fingers

“Jeonghan please just fuck me already!” You turned and shouted at him. He shrugged and pulled his fingers out but when you felt his blunt tip press against your hole you pushed your hips against him again.

“Be patient.” He said in a stern voice and held your hips as he pushed into you.

Once he bottomed out he let out a shaky voice and moved his hands from your hips to the back of your head, pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail tugging you upwards.

Your knees pressed against the coffee table as he slammed his hips into you and moved a hand to your chest. As he gently rolled your nipple between his fingers he whispered “You’re doing so good baby, just a little longer.”

You gave restricted nods because of the grip he had on your hair. “I-I’m already close again, can i cum again?”

His free hand moved from your breast to your clit “Of course, you’ve been good.” He whispered sucking small hickeys behind your ear and along your shoulder. “Come for me baby.” He said made quick but gentle circles on your clit.

The release washed over you as you toppled over. Jeonghan kept an arm around your waist as he continued thrusting into you. “God hannie please enough.” You whimpered as tears brimmed at your eyes one more time.

“Not yet, baby.” He grunted and pulled out. Your legs shook softly as he laid you out on the couch and pushed back into you.

“Please! I can't do another one.” you said and covered your face as tears finally fell from your eyes.

“You look so beautiful when you cry, I'm almost done baby, just a few more minutes you can do it.”

He gave you one reassuring nod before wiping your tears.

His thrusts quickly picked up again, your legs hooked behind his back as he chased his own high. “Where do you want me?” He moaned against your ear as you gripped at his shoulders, nails leaving crescents and scratch marks across his shoulders. your third and final release of the night building up.

“I-Inside please, don’t stop.”

“I won’t.” He whispered against your lips in a wet messy kiss, it was mostly teeth and tongue as you both chased your high.

You clenched around his cock, milking all of the cum from his cock as he came. Jeonghan slowly stilled his thrusts and panted against your lips “You’re fucking perfect.” He whispered and pressed a kiss to your lips before pulling away.

He slowly pulled out and watched as his cum and your release dripped from your hole. Jeonghan smirked and pushed two fingers against your hole pushing the mix back into you.

“Jeonghan!” You shouted and pushed his arm away as he scooped you up in his arms. You said against his chest as he brought you into the bathroom and drew a warm bath.

“You didn’t have to do this.”You said and motioned down to the bathtub.

“You’re joking right?” He said and set you down in the water, climbing in behind you. “I put you through all of that. I'm going to treat you like a princess.” He said and started getting some of the knots he created out of your hair and massaged your scalp.

“I’m sorry if it was too much love.” You shook your head softly.

“It’s never too much when I'm with you.” You whisper and kiss his cheek as he starts to wash both of your bodies.

The smell of the soap was calming. It had you dozing off in the tub. Jeonghan noticed and gently shook you awake. “Let's get you dressed okay?” He whispered and kissed your forehead as you nodded.

He helped you out of the tub and dressed you in one of his shirts and shorts, it was all way too big but he thought you looked perfect.

“Let me take care of your hair, then we can go lay down.” He said as he started brushing your hair into a ponytail, braiding in in a sleek braid before blow drying his own and carried you to bed.

“You did so good today.” He said as he cuddled in behind you.

“Thank you, I think you should act like that more often.” You said with a giggled and yawned.

“I’ll think about it baby, for now let’s get some sleep.” He said softly and pressed a kiss against your neck.

*ﾟ⋆｡˚✩⋆｡˚✰⋆:ﾟ･* *ﾟ⋆｡˚✩⋆｡˚✰⋆:ﾟ･* *ﾟ⋆｡˚✩⋆｡˚✰⋆:ﾟ･*

Open to doing a part two!

[thedvilsinthedetails]

rosekiller band au microfic pt2

yayyy part 2 is here! (Again if there’s any typos lmk ty)

(also yeah I changed their ages slightly, the skittles r now 23 not 25 what r u gonna do about it?)

anywayssss here’s the ppl that asked to be tagged/said they wanted more so im tagging them anyway (sorry if u didn’t want that): @always-reading @lady-stardust-incarnate @lulublack90 @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @weirdtinkerbellversion @depressedtheatrekiddo @blu3stars @nikholascrow @good-oldfashioned-lover-girl @picklerab23

(As always if u wanna be tagged or not tagged pls lmk I won’t mind at all <3)

Link to Part One

Link to Next Part

***

Evan woke up the next morning to the harsh bleep of his phone that always managed to elicit pure terror in his body. He groaned and rolled out of bed. He’d forgotten to turn off the alarm and of course he was awake at six in the fucking morning on a Saturday.

He threw on a dressing gown over his tank top and plaid pyjama bottoms, slipped into his fluffy slippers and trudged to the kitchen for some coffee.

Once he got to the kitchen he saw Dorcas was already sat at the little island she passed him a warm cup of coffee as soon as he sat down. Dorcas had always been the earliest riser of the band, always eager to get ready quickly and get the hell out of the house, he supposed that’s what growing up as the eldest sister to four brothers did to you. 

“Heard your alarm go off, figured you’d forgot to turn it off.”

“Dorcas you lifesaver. And I mean seriously a lifesaver, I might have murdered someone without this coffee.”

Dorcas laughed.

“Who?”

Evan rubbed his eyes.

“Barty probably. He’s fucking annoying.”

“Any excuse to get up close to him then more like.”

Evan’s head snapped up.

“What?”

Dorcas rolled her eyes.

“Please you’re shit at hiding it.”

“Don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout Cas.”

Evan mumbled, taking a long drink from his mug. 

“Please, save the crap. If you don’t have a crush on him, why do you get so worked up by people calling you a couple. It consumes your every waking thought, now why is that? Tell me.”

“Ughhh I don’t want to think about it.”

He groaned and stared into the brown murky depths of the mug he was cradling close to him.

Dorcas softened.

“Look, Marls and Barty are really close, our next tour stop is London which means she’ll obviously drop by rehearsals. I can get her to ask him if he-“

“He doesn’t.”

Evan ran his thumb over a tiny chip in the ceramic. It was a mug Barty had painted around four years ago, Dora had decided for her sixteenth she wanted to go to a pottery painting place like when they were little. Barty was- honestly pretty shit at painting. The background was covered in vast uneven strokes of black. He’d tried to paint a white ferret on it - ‘Ev this one is for you, if you were any animal I’d say you’d be a ferret.’ - thing is it looked more like a snake with legs that was also, well, a zombie. It was Evan’s most prized possession. He’d be taking it to the grave. He turned it to look inside the handle. Barty had been too lazy to paint that part so instead he’d just written crudely with the brush - ‘B + E forever bitches!’. His eyes crinkled fondly as he read it. 

“I just need to get over it.”

His expression hardened and he looked up at Dorcas again.

“Get over what?”

They both turned to find Barty in the doorway. His hair was sticking up in all directions. Fuzzy spikes of green and black. He stretched his arms all the way up as he yawned, flexing his wrist so his ‘SKITTLES’ tattoo was on full display. He had one of Evan’s jumpers on over his pyjama top. Evan really wanted to reach out and hold. Why’d he have to go and look so soft? Wasn’t fucking fair. 

“Nothing Jr.”

Barty nodded in response as he padded over and sat himself in the chair next to Evan.

“Why’re you even awake?”

Dorcas asked.

Barty dropped his head down onto the island counter dramatically.

“Forgot to turn off my alarm.”

Dorcas laughed out loud, fully threw her head back and everything.

“Two birds of a fucking stupid feather you two are.”

She got up and put her mug in the sink before heading out of the kitchen. Barty turned his head up to look at Evan as soon as she was gone.

“You don’t have to tell me anything Evan, but if you want to you can. You know that right?”

Barty lifted his head and propped it up on his hand as Evan nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah I know Barty.”

“Good.”

Barty shuffled his chair closer before dropping his head onto Evan’s shoulder and falling quiet. It was instinctual, the way Evan brought his arms up around him. After a few moments he looked down though, Barty was suspiciously silent.

“Bee?”

He whispered.

“M’awake. You’re just comfy Ev. You’re really good at hugs.”

Might be ‘cause I was built to hold you.

Damn that’s a fucking stupid thing to say. Fuck I’ve turned into Reg whenever he’s around James.

Yeah Evan needed to get over this like fucking yesterday.

•••

Barty breathed in deeply, face buried in the crux of Evan’s neck. He couldn’t help it really. Evan smelled like home. Probably a creepy thing to say, oh well wasn’t like he said it out loud. Evan was home though, plain and simple.

He didn’t want to move, probably ever. Still eventually as the rest of the group came pattering into the kitchen and things got livelier he had to shift away.

•••

They got on the train at noon, ready to head to London. Evan took the window seat watching as the city turned to rolling hills turned to city again. Barty kept sneaking glances over at him, wasn’t really sure what he was looking for honestly but-

“What?”

Evan asked finally, tone irritated.

“Nothing, just bored.”

“Oh um-“

Evan glanced around, he and Barty were in a two seater while the rest of the band sat around the table in front of them, chatting animatedly.

“S’fine Ev, not anything you can do about it, I’m gonna be bored till we get off this bloody train. Fucking buzzing.”

“Excited for tomorrow then yeah?”

Barty turned to him with shining eyes. 

“D’you remember when we were eighteen? First time at the O2 for a concert? Fuck d’you remember seeing it like that, covered in all the lights ‘n shit. Eventim Apollo doesn’t even compare.”

Evan chuckled. They’d gone to the O2 for the first time June 2019 to see a concert when Evan was still in his backstreet boys phase, something no one was allowed to talk about now under any circumstances.

“D’you remember what you said to me?”

•••

“Look at that stage Ev. Imagine playing there. For all these people.”

Evan turned to Barty and ruffled his hair.

“One day Bee, we’ll be playing here. I promise you yeah? We’ll be playing here and it’ll all the fucking sold out.”

“You think?”

•••

“Yeah. Yeah I do.”

***

AHHH I HOPE U LIKED ITTTT (idk when part 3 will be coming but hopefully soon <333333)

[notsoattractivearenti]

Frustration (Christian Pulisic x Fem!Reader) 🔞

(gif by me)

WC: 1.4K

Warnings: SMUT, dom(m), nipple play, clit stimulation, penetration. MINORS DNI

A/N: i wrote this as fast as i could (cuz i didn't wanna make any major changes if i couldn't finish it before the ucl game!) so idk if this is decent or not lol. if i miss anything on the warnings pls lmk! hope you guys enjoy and i’d love to hear your thoughts thru ask/reply/reblog 💗 this was not proofread so apologies for any errors! feedbacks are highly appreciated 🤍

—

The first match of the season between AC Milan and Juventus didn’t go well for the home team, especially for Christian. One of Milan’s defenders got a red card in the first half and the team had to finish the match with 10 men left. Then, shortly before halftime, Christian got subbed off for another defender – it was the first change for the team. He was visibly upset because he still wanted to play and it felt way too soon to bring him to the bench. Not only that, Milan also lost by 0-1 so the day couldn’t have gone any worse for Christian.

I saw what happened and I could already tell that he would be in a very bad mood until the day ended. I wanted to give him a hug right away and let him know I’m here for him but of course I couldn’t, so I had to impatiently wait until the match was over to do so. On our way to the car, he didn’t say a word – he didn’t have to, his facial expression said it all. I tried to console him but he didn’t respond, so I waited until we got into the car to continue talking to him.

When we got into the car, he slammed the door so hard it startled me for a second. Holy shit, he really is fucking frustrated, I thought to myself. He was looking all grumpy and still didn’t say anything as he started to drive.

—

Finally leaving San Siro, he took a deep breath before he started to talk.

“Sorry, Y/N, I’m just not happy with the way things were.” He admitted.

“Yeah, I know,” I rubbed his shoulder, ”I’m sorry you had to go through this shit.”

He slightly smiled.

“Mmhm. Ugh, I should’ve had more time on the field…” He sighed.

Even though I had assumed that the reason behind the decision was to maintain the defensive structure of the team, it didn’t feel fair to take Christian off that early. 

“I’m with you, baby. But what’s done is done. Pioli might have thought it was the best decision, but in the end one goal was still conceded. Let’s just focus on the PSG game and give your best as always, okay?” I tried to encourage him.

“Okay… But sorry Y/N I can’t help but think the game could’ve gone better…” He grunted.

“Hey,” I kissed his hand, then continued consoling him, “don’t beat yourself up. That was not your fault! Tonight’s not your night. Nor Milan’s. Trust me, you guys will do better on the next one.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right…” He hesitantly agreed.

“Thank you, my dearest. I’m so glad you’re here.” This time, he was being genuine.

—

Now at home, Christian didn’t waste a second to find the couch and laid on it. He drowned his face onto the pillow and screamed his heart out. I love that man so much but he is so used to bottling his emotions – which kind of bothers me, if I’m being honest – and seeing him screaming like that, I just knew he truly felt hurt and couldn’t contain it anymore. So I thought of a way to release his emotions – what I had in mind could actually be fun and beneficial for us both.

“You know, if you want to fuck your frustration away, I’m down.”

He immediately sat up, then turned his head right away and looked at me all confused.

“Say what now?”

“Yeah, I mean… I’m kind of in the mood, so… If you want.” I teased him.

He still wasn’t convinced.

“Are you messing with me?” He pouted.

“I’m serious, Chris, I’m not playing.” I smirked. “Do what you want to me.”

Without a word, Christian roughly picked me up and started kissing me. He threw my body on the couch and positioned himself on top of me. He took off all of his clothes right away, and when I was about to do the same thing, he stopped me.

“Don’t. I’ll take them off myself.” He demanded.

I nodded in response.

“Did I not hear a ‘yes, Christian’?”

“Yes, Christian.” I repeated his words.

“Mmm, good girl.”

I bit my lip and moaned when he called me a good girl. Those two little words never failed to drive me crazy. As he said that, I could feel my pussy starting to get wet.

I was wearing his jersey at the moment. He wanted me to keep wearing it, so he took off everything I had on my body except the shirt.

“Fucking hell,” he gulped, “you look insanely sexy wearing my shirt.”

His hands began tracing my body starting from my chest. He rubbed and squeezed my breasts tightly then moved his fingers over my nipples, gently twisting and pinching them. It felt so good I closed my eyes and quivered.

“Do you like it when I play with your titties, baby?”

“Yes…” I whimpered.

“Tell me how good it is.”

“So fucking good…”

Before I knew it, I felt one of my nipples was already inside his mouth – he swirled his tongue around then sucked it. I gasped at such a pleasant sensation.

“Oh!”

When he heard my gasp, he gave a little bite and it successfully got me moaning so loud. My hand was grasping the cushion while the other was holding on to Christian’s arm – and when he bit my nipple, I squeezed his arm so hard it turned slightly red.

After he finished sucking one nipple, his mouth moved onto the other and did everything all over again. By then, my naked pussy was already dripping wet.

His hands continued wandering around my body, feeling every inch of the curves. When he found his way to my pussy, he started rubbing my clit with two fingers.

“Oh, so slippery already?”

“Mmhm…” I bit back a moan. “Please don’t stop…”

He rubbed my clit faster and my thighs started to clench.

“Ohh… Mmm… Yeahh… Faster!” I sputtered.

“Are you gonna cum, baby?” He asked.

“Y-y-e-esss…” I hissed.

He kept rubbing.

“Then cum for me now.” He demanded.

“I- Ahh…”

My entire body was trembling – my eyes rolled back and I stopped breathing for a moment.

“Holy fuck…” I moaned.

“Ah, that’s my good girl. But we’re not done,” He said as he put on a condom.

I took a glance at his hard cock and all I could think of was having it within my pussy.

“Get inside me now, please…” I begged him.

He then roughly pushed his cock into my wet pussy.

“I’m gonna fuck you harder than I’ve ever been tonight.”

He really meant what he said – he started pounding me really hard, deeper and so rough than he usually did.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet.” He moaned.

The sound of our skins slapping against each other was so loud even the other noises we made couldn't cover it. His hands were strongly gripping my thighs while he was thrusting his cock deeper and faster by the second.

“I- oh you feel so good… Ohh sh-shit…” His breath hitched.

“Faster!” 

He immediately went full speed to the point where it felt like he was about to destroy my pussy. I could clearly feel his pulse inside me. Suddenly, my brain stopped working and I couldn’t say anything but moaned loudly.

“Hhh… Good fu-uck…” he panted.

His face was moving closer to mine and my lips immediately met his. I broke our kiss by biting his bottom lip then we heavily breathed each other’s air. When his neck was across my face, I started sucking it and left a mark. He moaned even harder when I sucked his Adam’s apple – it kind of tickled when it moved.

“Fuck… I’m close…” He whimpered. “Cum with me princess…”

And in an instant, the earth stopped spinning. The waves of pleasure just left my body, and at the same time I could feel his entire body quivering – his cock was still inside me.

Christian rested his face over my shoulder and heavily breathed into my ear. I kissed his ear and whispered, “feeling better now?”

He nodded, couldn’t say a word as he was still trying to catch his breath.

When he was finally able to speak he said to you, “Y/N, you sure know how to turn a bad day into a better one.”

—

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @swimmingismywholelife @chilwellspulisic @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @landoslover

[redr0sewrites]

are you our child or dracula's daughter?

🥀MY MASTERLIST IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST🥀

🥀song of the day: The Perfect Girl - By: Mareux

🥀hello and welcome to my blog!!! i'm a multi-fandom fanfiction writer with lots of special interests, hoping to spread some of my writing around a little!!

🥀Some More About Me!

🥀My Fav Fics/Authors!

🥀please dni if ur bringing negativity, are homophobic, racist, ableist, zionist, or sexist! this is a discourse-free space and i dont want to argue with anyone

🥀Free Palestine! Daily Click :)

🥀Palestinian Masterlist/gofundme links/helpful websites + information

🥀Fandoms I currently write for:

the dragon prince

a court of thorns and roses

demon slayer

hazbin hotel/helluva boss

marvel/the mcu

across/into the spiderverse

arcane

dc/dc comics

marauders/(some) harry potter

boku no hero academia

🥀Requesting rules🥀:

🥀Will NOT write:

noncon/rape

anything relating to vomit, i am emetophobic and i will not engage with anything pertaining to vomit

waterplay/anything related to piss shit or vomit

foot fetish

incest/selfcest/stepcest

pedophilia

nsfw for underage or asexual characters

anything romantic for aromantic characters

animal characters x reader

ships (character x character)

honkai star rail

🥀WILL write:

smut/nsfw

(consensual) bdsm or heavy kinks

fluff/sfw

angst (with or without comfort)

character death

neurodivergent reader

gn/masc/fem/trans reader

poc reader

dubcon (depending on the situation)

sfw for characters over 14

nsfw for characters over 17

platonic fics for aromantic characters

poly requests (character x reader x character)

dead dove do not eat/unsettling fics (only on occasion)

🥀Additional Information:

unless requested/specified, reader is always gender neutral and will be tagged accordingly

unless requested/specified, reader has no intended race or ethnicity and will be tagged accordingly

pls dni with my nsfw works if u are a minor, i am not in charge of controlling the content u consume but all i ask is that u please don't interact w my nsfw content as it makes me uncomfortable

please SPECIFY GENDER WHEN SENDING A NSFW/SMUT ASK as it makes writing smut much easier- writing gender neutral smut is very hard

i will NOT respond to asks that are not in my inbox (for ex: through dms or comments) as they are more difficult to organize. if you want to leave an ask/thirst, please do so in my inbox alone. i will also not respond if you send in multiple asks repeatedly trying to pressure me to write something.

overall please be kind and respectful, i will get to asks as quickly as possible ♥️

these guidelines are subject to change as i will update these rules as i go, adding or subtracting or making addendums as i see fit.

🥀MASTERLIST(s) BELOW CUT🥀:

THE DRAGON PRINCE MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

ACOTAR MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

HONKAI STAR RAIL MASTERLIST LINKED HERE (discontinued)

DEMON SLAYER MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

HAZBIN HOTEL MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

SECOND HAZBIN HOTEL MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

HELLUVA BOSS MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

ATSV/ITSV MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

MARVEL/MCU MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

ARCANE MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

DC MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

SECOND DC MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

MARAUDERS/HP MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

BNHA MASTERLIST LINKED HERE

ART MASTERLIST (ALL OF MY DRAWINGS) LINKED HERE

Lmk if any links arent working, fyi any fandoms that dont have masterlists have yet to be written for/requested! reqs are open and i will be adding more soon!! <3

[catcze]

HI CATTE! big fan of ur works!! glad to see another wrio filo fan !!, can I request wrio trying to learn filo for Filipino!reader !! I think it's super cute and I feel like he would probably become fluent in secret to surprise you !!!!!

Reblogs are greatly appreciated !!

「 FEAT : 」  Wriothesley x GN! Filipino! reader

「 ### : 」  Fluff, some swearing, but overall very good vibes ♡ Reader can speak Tagalog! I'll be real this is super cheesy esp the tagalog dialogue but SUE ME I love cheesy shit and this is self indulgent. Written pre-4.1 release.Translation for Tagalog dialogue found at the end!

AAAA HI BABY ♡ I cannot express how happy this made me ?!?!? Like, I'm bumping it up on the prio because it made me sooo kilig when i read it HAHAHAH I hope you like it lots !! (also if any filos have corrections/improvement on the tagalog dialogue pls lmk because I am notttt the best at writing in tagalog dialogue lmao) also ! I changed it and made him, like, not super \ fluent yet at Tagalog, hence why imo some of his dialogue sounds a bit;;; like, practiced? textbook? if that makes sense? HAHAH

Wriothesley doesn't have some big, grand reason for doing any of this. It's not your birthday or your anniversary or anything like that. He's not meeting your parents and he sure isn't planning on proposing just yet.

In all honesty, it all started from a quick kiss you pressed to his cheek and a string of words in a foreign language whispered into his ear.

"What did you say?" he asks when you pull away, a small smile on your face.

"I said mahal kita," you tell him, a hand resting on his arm. Your eyes soften almost imperceptibly when you say the phrase again. You sound so damn fond when you say it, it makes his heart want to skip a beat. "It's one of the most common ways to say 'I love you' in Tagalog."

"Can you say it again?" He asks, and you easily comply.

Mahal kita. Mahal kita. Mahal kita. I love you. He turns the words over and over in his head, then tries to replicate how you pronounce it with his own tongue, but the words come out a bit funny thanks to his fontainese accent. He's not used to the intonation of the language and it shows, if your amused little laugh was anything to go by.

"Like this," you tell him after watching him struggle for a bit and taking mercy on his poor tongue. "Repeat after me." Then you open your mouth wide, so he can see how you do it.

"Ma."

"Ma?"

"-hull."

"-hull."

"Kih."

"Kih?"

"Mhm. Tah."

"Tah."

"Put all that together, and you get mahal kita."

He tries it again, but it still comes out a bit funky. Not at all like how you say it, sounding buttery smooth and practically dripping with charisma. Despite this, you still smile at him like he's given you the world in your palms, or like you're about to cry from happiness. You press your lips against his, stealing the air right from his lungs and making his eyes flutter shut. He can never get tired of kissing you, he thinks, and if messing up a little bit gets him this much affection, he can only imagine what you'd be like if he improved.

"Mahal din kita," you mumble against his lips, breaking away but not straying far.

After that, unbeknownst to you, Wriothesley picked up what is essentially (but not actually the title) a Tagalog for dummies book and hunted down a guard in the fortress who can speak the language enough for him to consult whenever merely reading the words on a page was not enough.

You've also begun to speak Tagalog more and more around him since finding out his interest in the language. You've even managed to correct his pronunciation a little bit, despite how new much of it was new to him.

("You have to roll your r's a bit more, Wrio. Like... like you're purring, i guess?" That, in particular, he heard quite often. Who knew that his mother tongue said their r's differently from yours? Certainly not him.)

He eats up every bit of advice you give him in passing when he tries to replicate whatever word or phrase you just said, quietly taking note in his head and repeating the phrases back to himself even when you're not around. He goes to that one guard he had dubbed as his 'Tagalog tutor' and peppers them with questions so often that he figures it warrants him to hand over a particularly generous bonus later on for letting him as much of a bother as he is.

And finally, after a good long while of giving it his best effort, his tutor deems him able to hold a conversation in Tagalog well enough, and promptly pushes him out the door, telling him to 'go get 'em, boss.' before hastily locking the door behind him.

When Wriothesley wanders back to your living quarters, reassuring himself that he's been practicing for this, for you, and that even if he gets it a little bit wrong, you're probably going to be happy either way. Probably.

"Sweetheart?" He calls, coming inside. He follows your faint 'over here' to find you on your bed in your casuals, relaxing for the day.

When you catch sight of him, you smile, beckoning him close, just to press a kiss to his lips when he leans over. "Hey," you say, grinning up at him.

"Kumusta ka? Namiss kita, mahal. " He says, the words coming out a soft murmur against your lips. You pause for a good while, jaw dropping and brows furrowing in confusion, and Wriothesley fears that he could have messed up somehow. Then a wide smile breaks across your face as you glow with absolute delight.

"Hoy, talaga?! Nagtatagalog ka?" You sit up to be eye-to-eye with him, and you see nothing short of pride in his eyes. One of your hands flies up to cover your mouth as you gasp. "Woah, ang galing mo!"

And oh, it's one of the cutest things you've ever seen from him— Wriothesley smiles, just s little bit, and the slightest hints of a blush dust his face. It's adorable to see how he reacts to your praise.

Wriothesley's eyes dart away from yours, one of the few tells of embarrassment you've ever seen from him. "Pasensya na, di pa ako magaling magtagalog. Nag aaral pa lang ako."

"Kahit na!" You're clearly enthused, happy and grinning and buzzing with energy. "Namiss din kita! Okay naman ako. Ikaw? Kumain ka na ba?" You're wide awake and looking up at him like he hung the stars in the sky for you. Wriothesley is smiling now too. All those hours and late nights trying his best to get the words right, and this was the very reason why.

"Mhm, kanina pa, bago pumunta ko dito." One of his hands reaches up to your face. The callouses and scars of his hand drags a giggle from you as he tries to rub the sleep from your eyes. "Sana nakatulog ka ng maayos."

And compared to when you first told him you love him in your language, his Tagalog has improved by leaps and bounds. Still affected by his accent, yes, but his hard work showed through. It is that and the tenderness in his voice that makes you break this little song and dance between the two of you. Your hand reaches up to hold the one cupping your cheek, letting you lean further into his palm.

"Were you intending to surprise me? Because you certainly did. In a good way, I mean."

Wriothesley chuckles. "I'm glad. Been trying to learn it since that first time, and I think I'm making some progress. Though anything more than a simple conversation is still a bit much for me."

"Kahit na," you repeat yourself, "You're amazing! You got so good! Oh, we are going to have so much fun having secret conversations that no one else can understand."

He playfully quirks an eyebrow at that. "While that's definitely going to be some fun, I really wanted to learn how to, ah, tell you that I love you back."

"Oh." Again, you pause. "Well. Here's your chance, I guess." And you smile at him again, the one that has his heart skipping a beat. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders to pull him into your space, you press your forehead against his and close your eyes. He can feel your breath tickle against his lips, and he almost sighs in response.

"Mahal kita, Wriothesley."

"Mahal din kita, my love."

Translation:

"Kumusta ka? Namiss kita, mahal. " — "How are you? I missed you, love."

"Hoy, talaga?! Nagtatagalog ka? — "Hey, really?! You're actually speaking Tagalog?"

"Pasensya na, di pa ako magaling magtagalog. Nag aaral pa lang ako." — (spoken sorta formally) "Sorry, I'm not very good at speaking Tagalog yet. I'm still learning."

"Kahit na!" "Namiss din kita! Okay naman ako. Ikaw? Kumain ka na ba?" — "Even so!" "I missed you too! I'm fine. What about you? Have you eaten yet?"

"Mhm, kanina pa, bago pumunta ko dito." "Sana nakatulog ka ng maayos." — "Mhm, I did earlier, just before I came here." "Hopefully you had a good nap."

"Mahal kita, Wriothesley." — "I love you, Wriothesley."

"Mahal din kita, my love." — "I love you too, my love."

[hischierswhore]

right where you left me

“you left me no choice but to stay here forever”

pairing: Mason Mount x Reader

TW: cursing // asshole mason (again) // if i missed anything pls lmk

A/N: this is part 3 of a multi part mini-series!!! each part will be inspired by a song, so this one is inspired by "right where you left me" by Taylor Swift. i highly suggest listening to it as you read :)

read part 2 here

You woke up with a combination of excitement & nervousness spreading through your stomach. You spent the majority of your day thinking about what you were going to say to Mason, and how you were going to bring it up.

You wanted to ask why he didn’t show up to your birthday party. You wanted to know why he didn’t call you the day after like he said he would. You wanted to know why he was being so distant with you.

What changed? Why was he not putting in the effort he used to?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You began getting ready for your dinner with Mason. You decided that you would start with the topic of your birthday party and then lean into your questions as to why he didn’t show.

You wore a cute top & skirt. It wasn’t too formal, but it wasn’t too casual either. Around 6pm, you set out on your drive to the restaurant.

When you arrived, you saw Mason sitting at a booth and he raced to the entrance of the restaurant to greet you. He led you to your table, a glass of water already set on your side of the table to drink.

The table was dimly lit, a small candle sitting at the edge of the table being the only source of light in the area. It was a rather romantic setting. You & Mason hadn’t been on a romantic outing in a few weeks.

You made yourself comfortable, removing your jacket and situating your bag to your side. You looked up at Mason and saw that he was lost in thought, blankly staring at the white cloth on the table.

“Everything okay, Mase?” Your voice pulled Mason from his thoughts, his attention immediately turning to you.

“Oh yeah. All’s good” He flashed you a smile, but you sensed something was wrong.

“How was your birthday? Ben & Christian told me it was eventful”

“It was okay. Would’ve been better if you were there but we can’t go back and change that, can we?” You shrugged your shoulders.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I was running late and then traffic was just terrible so by the time I actually got into the city, it was too late. Ben & Christian told me that the party had ended”

“You weren’t in the city? I thought you had training that day?” You saw Mason’s eyes go wide at your words: he’d fucked up.

“Uhm…” You could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to come up with a cover up.

“I’ll just be honest: this isn’t working” He gestured between the pair of you.

“Well no shit, Mason. You’ve been distant lately. Hell, you didn’t even show up to your girlfriend’s birthday party, and now you’re making excuses for your absence. So be honest with me, where were you?” Mason sighed as he held his hands to his face.

“I was with someone. A woman. I lost track of time and by the time I made it to the city, it was far too late. I drove to my own house and then called you” He could see the light in your eyes suddenly dim.

“You what?”

“I’ve been seeing another woman, Y/n…” All you could do was stare at him as he spoke. It felt like time stopped at that moment.

Silence filled the air between you both, tensions high as you both waited for the other to speak.

“How long?” Your voice was broken and barely understandable.

“2 months” He mumbled as your mouth fell into an ‘o’ shape.

You swear you heard your heart break at that moment, the sound of glass shattering being the only sound you could hear that moment. Your heart was fragile, and he just single-handedly broke it, watching as the glass shards of your heart scattered across the table.

“What we once had isn’t there anymore, and it hasn’t been for a while now” He scanned your eyes to find any sort of emotion, but there was none. You were numb, still thinking about his initial statement as you stared at the glass containing your water in front of you.

“So you’ve been with another woman while we were still together?” You were still dumbfounded by his statement.

“Before you ask, I used protection, so there’s nothing to worry about” You hadn’t even thought that far. You simply nodded.

“Yea, because telling me that using protection while fucking another woman is so helpful right now. Do you know how embarrassed I was infront of my friends & family that my own boyfriend didn’t show up to my birthday? I had a breakdown, Mason. Your friends were there. They had to help me through it because you couldn’t be bothered to show up, seeing as you were balls deep in another woman” Mascara stained your cheeks as you spoke, your voice slightly cracking.

“I’m really sorry, Y/n” Mason couldn’t find any other words to say.

“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it repeatedly. You wouldn’t have done it at all, nonetheless on my birthday. Were you even planning on telling me?”

“Eventually…”

“So what? Is this just a spur of the moment thing or do you actually feel anything for her?” Mason sighed.

“I feel a connection with her, Y/n. Something similar to what I felt at the start of us. I haven’t felt a spark between you & I as of late, and I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have. I’m so sorry Y/n” And with that, Mason got up and left.

You stared at him as he walked away, your heart breaking into a million pieces. You watched as he left the building entirely, leaving you in the corner booth all alone. The dim lighting reflecting onto your tear stained face brought attention to you.

You didn’t even get the opportunity to say anything else. You heard the other diners whisper amongst themselves, murmurs of “what a sad sight” & “poor girl” were heard as they looked in your direction.

You felt frozen, you couldn’t move even if you wanted to. You were beyond embarrassed, your face burning as you felt all eyes on you. You wanted to scream and cry simultaneously.

Eventually you found the courage to get up from the booth and made your way out of the restaurant before driving back to your apartment.

You washed your face of the ruined makeup you had applied only an hour before, letting your hair down before changing into some sweatpants & a t-shirt. You sobbed into your pillow once you actually got into bed.

You may have physically left the restaurant, but emotionally you were still there, sitting cross-legged in the dim light as you relived and replayed that heart shattering moment over & over again in your head.

You didn't know how to move on from this moment, how to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and start again, if you even could start again.

You were right where he left you,

and you would be forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist

@ithinkimokeei @myheartgoesvroom @mounthings @tall-tanned-tattoo @itsnotgray @alwaysclassyeagle @charlewiss @mortirolo @fallingin20 @chelseagirl98 @lovelynikol16 @username-envy @swimmingismywholelife @pulisicsgirl @notsoattractivearenti @pulisichavertz @fernandezology @bracedes @neverinadream @thoseboysinblue @winterbarnesblog @chaotic-taco-collector-blog

[hannyoontify]

seventeen as your older brothers

warnings | mentions of food/snacks, implications of alcohol consumption (not the reader), friendly insults (pls lmk if i missed anything)

notes | this has been a brain rot for a while now, so i’m glad that i have this writen down now lol. This was like a brain dump for me LMAO like i was js writing whatever came to mind when i imagined each member as an older brother. oh also this has no correlation with any of the members' siblings/lineage. pretend it’s in an alternate universe where you’re their only sibling

seungcheol 

for other people, it was always ‘sorry my folks won’t let me’ to hanging out with friends. but for you? oh no no no it was ‘... seungcheol said no’ and everyone knew there was no refuting it bc once cheol makes up his mind, there was no changing it. he’s like your third parent, always calling and making sure that you’re where you’re supposed to be. on days when you come back late at night, it was seungcheol who’s patiently waiting for you in the living room, not your parents (he had convinced them to go to sleep and swore to stay awake until you got home) but like he would be such a sweet, protective older brother :(( if he’s out grabbing snacks or groceries, he always makes sure to grab a bag of your favorite snacks and when he gets home, he js silently drops it on your bed and leaves your room. and omg sometimes he would help out with your math and chem homework, and nine times out of ten, it led to both you and your dad getting yelled at by cheol at 10 pm at night at the kitchen table bc neither of you could understand cos, sin, and tan 

jeonghan 

having jeonghan as your older brother would be so interesting omg like when you guys were younger, you were able to count on one hand the number of times you’ve won a game against him. he always said that it was bc he was js better than you but everyone and their mother knew that the little shit eater (affectionate) was shoving uno cards up his sleeves whenever he could. as you guys get older, he would probably cheat his way out of doing chores and leave you to do the dishes all on your own. he would only come back later bc he felt bad and he would help you put away the cutlery. he would randomly come into your room and stand by the doorway for 3 minutes before he js leaves LOL omg and when you were in middle school, he packed your lunch everyday and occasionally wrote a note that reminded you to do drink water bc you never fucking drink water and it pisses jeonghan off

joshua

DUDEEE i think you would be that friend who has a cute older brother. like that one time shua gave you and your friends a ride to the beach, your friends were all giggling and shit in the backseat whenever he smiled. at one point, you had to scold joshua bc his friendly behavior had all of your friends crushing on him and told him to stop being so nice but he js laughed and ruffled your hair. but i feel like having joshua as a brother would be so nice. like if you were in a bad mood, he always left food and water outside your door and texted you smth like ‘there’s food outside if you want any. you can do so much better than that jerk anyway’ AHHH AND AND when you were still in school, there were some days where shua comes home at 5 am, covered in glitter and smelling like alcohol and sweat. he would go into the kitchen, where you’re eating breakfast before going to school, and he would js grab a cup of water, ruffle your hair as a greeting before disappearing into his room. the first time that happened shua made you swear up and down that you wouldn’t tell your parents (you didn’t and you never have)

junhui

JUN WOULD BE SUCH A FUN BIG BROTHER LMAO LIKE he would conjure up the most random food concoctions in the kitchen at 2 am and then force have you be the taste tester. 8 times out of 10 it was edible, but once in a while, you would have to spit out the lump of… burnt charcoal?? you spit it out and complain that it tastes disgusting and junhui would js laugh at you. it was disgusting, but you considered it some of your favorite memories with jun. and you guys would have like an unspoken kind of connection like you guys can stare at each other and js understand how the other person’s feeling it’s rlly nice actually, to have a brother who js knows how you feel without saying a word. OH and you guys would def watch comedy shows together late at night and you guys def have inside jokes from the shows you watch heh

hoshi

oh my god imagine hoshi as your older brother holy crap. i feel like he would either be a super protective older brother or an older brother who acts like a younger one. like your parents genuinely questioned how hoshi could be older than you sometimes. but having him as your older brother regardless of either would be so fun. like the mafia game is def 100% banned from family gatherings bc last time it happened, soonyoung was doing cartwheels around the living room, screeching and accusing your great aunt of being the mafia LMAO LIKE bro takes mafia a little too seriously LMAOO but seriously like you probably started his horanghae agenda. when you guys were younger, he was obsessed with tiger patterned things and so you started calling him ‘tiger’ as a joke and it js kinda stuck (woozi hates you for that btw) oh but he would be so annoying like if he sees you with your crush, later that day he’ll be like ‘oooooo was that one person you were talking-’ and you have to throw a handful of lettuce to shut him up

wonwoo

the most chillest older brother EVER. like if you randomly walk into his room and ask for a ride to the mall for you and your friends, he would put down his book and grab his car keys without a second thought. and if your parents said no to hanging out with friends, you knew that wonwoo would find a way to sneak you out later. i feel like when you guys are hanging out together, you would each be doing your own thing. he would send you a meme via messages instead of js showing you on his phone since you were on the other side of the couch and then you guys would js laugh about it together. i feel like wonwoo would be like a ‘silent but deadly’ kind of protective brother. like he doesn’t stop you from going out and trying out things but if you’re ever in trouble, he’s always one call away. like he is such a supportive and understanding brother i love &lt;3

woozi 

jihoon as your older brother would be so interesting. like he’s always staying up and working until the crack of dawn in his studio but if he sees you awake past 12 am he would be upset that you weren’t getting enough sleep. ‘go to sleep, it’s past your bedtime’ ‘IM A GROWN ASS ADULT JIHOON’ ooo also i think jihoon would be like a little more serious older brother. like if you ever had any worries or concerns, woozi would immediately put down whatever he was doing to listen intently to what you had to say. whether you wanted advice or some comforting words, jihoon always has something to say that would make you feel better. he would also randomly stop by your room to make sure that you’re doing alright and that you were taking care of yourself. ooo and if you’re into music, he would be your #1 supporter and critic LMAO like right after your piano recital he would go up to you and say ‘you could’ve worked on the dynamics a little more’ before handing you a big ass bouquet of flowers ‘good job today, you did amazing’

minghao 

meditation sessions together!! if hao notices that you’re looking a little too stressed, he would force you to get out of your room and have you meditate with him in the living room. he still kinda thinks of you as his baby sibling. he gets worried that you’re overdoing it sometimes and makes sure that you’re taking it easy. he’ll randomly text you throughout the day to make sure that you’re doing alright and if he’s making himself a cup of tea, he always asks you if you want some too. oh and he would definitely help you with your homework when you need it. OH OH OH AND ALSO i feel like he would be a rlly good listener. like you can vent to him all you want and he won’t judge you at all, just listen and nod his head until you feel better

mingyu

mr gyu!!! lowkey tho i feel like he could be an annoying older brother LMAO like kinda like jeonghan he’ll come into your room, knock over something and then just leave. you thought it was annoying but you knew it was his way of showing that he cared about you and making sure that you were doing alright. and if he makes food, he always makes sure to leave some extras in the fridge for you so you could never stay mad at him for anything. oh my god and if you ever start dating someone get ready for the older brother interrogation!! his bigger, physical build would scare the living crap out of your partners LMAO ‘touch [Name] and you’re done for’ kinda vibe and it’s true but he’s also like ‘new friend!!’ but he’s gonna make sure that he intimidates them first before befriending them lol also i feel like when you guys were younger, despite being the younger one, you got mingyu into trouble more than you did lolz

dokyeom

dokyeom is like a 2+1 deal lol like he’s your older brother but he’s also your best friend. you’re somehow always looped into his dumb antics but he’s the only one that gets in trouble for it. oh oh oh and if you’re in a bad mood, he’ll burst into your room with his portable karaoke machine and disco lights to cheer you up. omg and he would like change the lyrics of the song ‘why is my little sibling crying~~~ don’t you know you get 100 times uglier when you cry~~~ that piece of shit wasn’t worth it anyway~~~ stop crying and join me in my singING~~~~~’ it always manages to cheer you up and before the tears have all dried up, you’re already laughing while you’re singing with dokyeom (you really appreciate how hard he works to cheer you up)

seungkwan

okay bc why is arguing with him lowkey funny LMAO LIKE seungkwan will be chilling in his room and you’ll barge in, yelling at him for leaving the toilet seat up LMAO or not cleaning up all the hair he sheds after a shower and he’ll start yelling back in his defense LOL and omg we all know how much seungkwan loves his mom so in most cases, if you ever do anything, seungkwan’s gonna immediately run to your mom ‘MOMMM THEY’RE DOING IT AGAINNNN’ but yea you guys would def get into immature fights abt the TV remote control or who gets to sit in shotgun lol but also i feel like seungkwan would be kind of like subtle in the way that he shows that he cares for you. like he’ll always make sure your favorite snack is stored in the pantry and restock it the day that it disappears, and he knows you’re sensitive to the cold, so if you ever fall asleep with your window open, he’ll come in and close it so you don’t wake up the next morning with a sore throat. you both dance and sing to wonder girls together whenever he visits home and he’ll throw his slipper at you if you get a single dance move or lyric wrong ‘i can’t believe i’m related to you’

vernon

NO BC VERNON WOULD BE THE SWEETEST, BEST OLDER BROTHER EVER :(((( like when you guys were younger, he would read you bedtime stories and if you were crying, he would silently hold your hand while you get consoled by your mother until you feel better. i can imagine hansol walking you and dropping you off at school before going to his own, and he always makes sure to see you enter the building before he leaves to go to his own school (stop this is making me so soft) and when you guys are older, similar to wonwoo, he doesn’t really intervene in your life and the choices you make unless it’s smth really dumb and a bad ending was inevitable. like he doesn’t pry about your personal life but he occasionally checks in to make sure that you’re feeling alright and he always lets you know that he’s always there if you need to talk to someone abt anything. he kinda joins in whatever nonsense you do, like you have an extra concert ticket? vernon is your ride + concert buddy. you wanna go to the beach? vernon already has his sunscreen applied. you’re running away and joining the circus? you guys can be a duo act

dino

omg literally thing 1 and thing 2 like i feel dino would also be a sibling that you would get into petty arguments with. ‘stop calling me your younger brother, i’m literally [insert number] of years/days older than you’ ‘then maybe you should start acting like it- STOP I DIDN’T MEAN IT I’M SORRY HELP’ (he started tickling you) LMAO LIKE lowkey you guys can argue but you know it’s over if you guys ever get into a physical brawl, cuz bro knows how to FIGHT. he can throw a mean punch and you’ve witnessed firsthand what his fists could do (he beat up a school bully in 7th grade) i feel like you two would get along like 2 peas in a pod tho (secretly when no one’s looking) like you guys are always on the same wavelength and have similar habits that you guys picked up from each other. and despite being the younger sibling, chan often fell victim to your pranks and jokes (poor boy save him) and similar to dk, it was like having a best friend and a brother all in one and you can bicker with him all you want

reblogs and feedback is always appreciated ^-^

[youremyheaven]

this is gunna sound so weird... men make my skin crawl. Like im attracted to men but everytime i see a man, my rbf awakens and i become hyper aware of my surroundings 😭

it doesn't help that im attending an all girls college now... any advice on how to ease up pls around them? I find it hard to even want to talk to them 😭 ik all men aren't bad and i may always not be in danger (imagine that in all caps and red) but i just wanna be able behave and think like a normal person around them ( this is so much that i even can't stand strangers)

Loads of luv to you ❤

honestly i hope u meet better men!!! there are some disgusting nasty perverted pieces of shit out there who dont deserve to be around women and i completely get why u would feel repulsed by them.

i wonder if u have malefic influence, they usually struggle the most with the opposite gender

tips on how to ease up around men:

think in terms of energy. dont project anger or hatred because thats what you will see in return. i know this is very triggering and difficult for many people but you HAVE to believe in good to SEE good. despite absolutely everything that ive gone thru, i still believe that people are inherently good, kind and helpful and i see proof of it everyday.

ive had men treat me with dignity, respect and kindness in the shadiest of circumstances and ive had men be nasty to me out in the open, so it just comes down to character. just think of men as people honestly and not as hound dogs about to attack u.

2. imagine them as little boys

sometimes when men are soft or boyish with me, it reminds me of how they mustve been as kids and it warms me. i have two little boy cousins who are 12 and 6 respectively and they both adooooreeee me and want to marry me when they grow up🥺🥺🥺theyre the sweetest kids on the planet and i could never ever feel otherwise, theyre my babies. idk if this is something u can relate to but think of a little boy you're close to, how innocent and silly he is and how you could never see him as a threat or hate him and understand that grown men can be like that too.

3. how we treat people has a lot to do with how people treat us

if you have a rbf and generally act standoffish and cold/distant, then you're probably perceived as being bitchy 😬😬and nevermind men, even women probably find u intimidating or hard to approach. im only saying this because learning how to navigate social situations is 90% of adulthood and the key to personal and professional success.

learn to smile more. i know women hate being told to smile but honestly we should alllll smile more. force yourself to do it until it becomes a habit. be that person who smiles at strangers. dont u feel happy when someone smiles at you??? so in turn, be that person to others!!! <33

learn to get out of your head. most people think too much. i hate spending time with people who talk about everything from a victim pov. like yes sure u/we women, are in a position of disadvantage in many ways, historically speaking but ???? this attitude?? wont get u anywhere. (I'm speaking generally and not about you particularly)

i would say the key is to turn inward and work on yourself. read all those cliche self help books about "how to influence people" yada yada,, learn social etiquette and watch all those youtube gurus who teach soft skills. forget about men and hating them for a second and just focus on self improvement. as you change, youll see the world change with u.

just think of men as people basically. also idk if youre familiar with carl jung but i feel like you have a wounded animus. many women who grew up with an absent (emotionally or otherwise) father grow up to project all that onto men. and in turn have damaging relationships with men!!

im not a man defender and im in no way saying all men are good but i genuinely dont think its healthy to hate, thats all!!

idk if any of this is helpful sikeee but lmk if u have any updates

also lots of love to u too angel!!<3

[vivalas-vega]

move on / part three

the next part is here !!!! as always pls lmk what you think!

move on / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three

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word count: 3.4k

warnings: angst, language, that's abt it 

“Will you stop being such a baby?” you asked, trying to stifle your giggles as you turned your head to look at Rooster in all his pouty glory. You’d just beaten him for the third time at pool before he decided to call it quits and give his battered and bruised ego a break to sulk in one of the booths. You’d followed behind shortly after, not wanting to get involved as Coyote and Phoenix went head-to-head, their insults still clearly heard even a dozen feet away. Rooster slung his arm over the back of the booth and shot you a look of disdain.

“I’m not being a baby, I’m just saying you have an unfair advantage.”

“The fact that I’ve been playing pool longer than you have is not an unfair advantage, it’s just a fact of life,” you shrugged, enjoying his misery and the free drink the skills you’ve been honing for years earned you. 

“Regardless, I’m never playing you again.”

“Scared, Chicken?” you teased, nudging his knee with yours and you felt a pair of eyes on you but you were trying to ignore it the best you could. 

“Me? Scared? In your dreams,” he replied and you just shook your head and laughed. Things had been going a lot better than you had anticipated they would, you were terrified Jake’s sudden return would completely unravel all the progress you had made over the last few months but it didn’t. All of Rooster’s help, advice and support had stuck with you and kept you strong, and you were committed to coexisting as colleagues. You hadn’t yet plucked up the courage to ask Jake why he had left, as with most things recently Rooster had been right when he said you wouldn’t feel settled until you knew the reason but you just weren’t ready to go there yet and reopen the wound when it was still so fresh. 

“Keep telling yourself that, Chicken,” you chuckled, resting a hand on his knee and keeping it there, “how did that date go last night?”

He shrugged, “don’t think she’s the one but she’s fun to hang out with, don’t think either one of us are looking for anything serious.”

You hummed, “sounds like a promising mutually beneficial not-relationship,” you joked. 

“Could be, no immediate red flags which is a good sign,” he replied.

“Any yellow flags?” you asked and he laughed.

“She reached for the check even though I’m the one that asked her out.”

“Classic move, reach for the check even though you know your date is paying. It’s just considerate, I’d say a very light green flag.” Phoenix made eye contact with you as she set her pool cue to the side and you squeezed Rooster’s knee before getting up to join her in the restroom.

“How are you doing?” she asked, attempting to be nonchalant but she was about as subtle as a hand grenade.

“I’m good, Phe, surprisingly good.” She nodded at this, leaning over the sink to tame some hairs that had escaped her bun. How she didn’t immediately pull it out after changing into her civvies was beyond you as you fussed with your own hair before heading back out into the noisy bar where you approached the pool table and caught a conversation you knew you weren’t supposed to.

“Come on man, dick move asking me that, you know I don’t want to be involved.” 

“It’s just a question, Coyote.” 

“A loaded question. You weren’t here man, shit got really dark there for a minute and we were all scared. Rooster stepped up, shifted his life around to be there for her day and night and got her to open up when no one else could. You don’t get to ask questions about Rooster and Birdy, and you don’t get to have an opinion.” Coyote said with a sigh and your brows furrowed in confusion.

“They seem really close is all I’m saying, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Jake said and you pieced together what he must have asked… something along the lines of you and Rooster being an item. You weren’t sure what you were feeling at first, not sure how you should react to him asking such a question as Phoenix cleared her throat next to you and guilt quickly passed over Jake’s features as he noticed the two of you.

“Birdy-” you just held a hand up to silence him before deciding to walk outside, desperate for a breath of fresh air. 

“Are you shitting me, Bagman?” You could hear Phoenix chastising as the door swung shut behind you and as you took those first few steps out into the sand you felt anger start to bubble, pushing to the surface and welling your eyes with tears. You inhaled deeply, trying to remember one of those breathing exercises Rooster had taught you but it wasn’t doing much to help at this moment. You felt the atmosphere change around you and this only made you angrier, the fact that your body was still so in tune with him that you needed no visual or auditory confirmation of the fact that he was there… you just knew. 

“Birdy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” he started but was cut off as you turned around to face him.

“Didn’t mean what? You didn’t mean to ask Coyote if Rooster and I were dating? As if that’s any of your business? It was an accident and it just slipped out of your mouth?” you asked, everything you’d been telling yourself about keeping calm and cordial in his presence flying out the window.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just… wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing some crucial piece of information.” he replied, and you felt sick to your stomach looking at him. He looked guilty, remorseful even and you hated it. The first time you saw him on base after his return you had a brief conversation with him about boundaries, about keeping any interactions related to work and letting him know you hoped he got invited to team hangouts because he was apart of the team but that you wanted to keep your distance in social settings and he’d respected that. The last few weeks he’d stayed out of your way and been mindful of each and every boundary you’d set and it was beginning to infuriate you. You knew this was irrational, knew if he hadn’t respected those boundaries you’d be just as furious and Rooster’s words rang in your ears. You can’t be around him without getting to the bottom of it. 

“Crucial information? Nothing about my personal life is crucial to you anymore, Jake.” you shot back and he just nodded his head solemnly.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and you thought he looked truly pathetic right now, something that was such a foreign look for him. Usually so cocky and arrogant now looking like a kicked puppy. 

“God, stop saying that!” you shouted, letting yourself feel the anger and not sparing him any of it. “Stop fucking apologizing, I am so tired of it, I don’t care that you’re sorry.” 

He nodded again, “Birdy, I didn’t mean to upset you, I want us to be able to be around each other without this happening.”

“Then tell me why.” you said, willing the tears threatening to spill over to stay right where they were. “I can’t be around you and not know, and it’s not fair that I don’t know.” 

“It won’t… it won’t change anything-”

“I deserve to know. I deserve to know why you carried me home, fucked me, and told me you loved me only to leave in the middle of the night with no warning. Because people don’t do that, Jake! They don’t move in with someone, they don’t talk about white picket fences and engagement rings and golden retrievers to disappear like it all meant nothing. I need to know.” You couldn’t fight the emotion any longer, letting the tears flow freely down your face and Jake’s natural instinct was to close the distance between you and wipe them away but he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore and he grimaced at that realization.

“I loved you too much.”

“Excuse me?” You swore you felt your heart stop in your chest before lurching into a dead sprint, hammering against your ribcage, pulsing through every limb of your body.

“I got scared. I-I loved you too much, too deeply and it scared the hell out of me, Birdy. All the talk of white picket fences and engagement rings and golden retrievers, it… it hit me all at once, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and I wasn’t ready for that realization.”

“Are you kidding me? All of this, all the heartbreak and the confusion because you got scared? What the fuck is wrong with you?” you shouted, and you winced at your own voice, trying to keep your reactions measured but it was no use. 

“I know, it was wrong, I handled everything wrong. Laying there that night with you sleeping so peacefully in my arms it all hit me and I got overwhelmed. I thought if I left it wouldn’t hurt either one of us as badly as it would when I inevitably fucked it up some other way.”

“So, ruin something on the off-chance you might have ruined it later? That makes a hell of a lot of sense, Jake,” you scoffed and wiped at the ever-falling tears on your cheeks.

“I did everything wrong, I fucked up, Birdy and I’m so sorry. If I could change everything I would, you have no idea how many times I go back to that night and wish I could have chosen any other option.” He wiped at his own falling tears now and the sight broke your heart but you refused to let yourself acknowledge that.

“I do know, Jake, because I did the same goddamn thing, only in my version it wasn’t wishing I could change my decision, it was wondering what the hell I did to make you leave. God, I have spent the last year of my life wracked with guilt and grief trying to figure out where it all went wrong, what I did or said that made you run away only to find out it was fear? Cowardice? Over something that is normal in relationships? It’s not supposed to be easy deciding to spend your life with someone but you talk about it, Jake, you don’t pack a bag and disappear.” 

“I know that now, I made a mistake.”

“A mistake is a parking ticket. You know what, Jake, you don’t get to make decisions for me! You don’t get to decide what is the easier heartbreak for me to deal with, and you don’t get to decide to abandon me in the middle of the night because you’re afraid.” 

“I’m sorry, Birdy. I wish I could take it all back, I wish I had just talked to you about it because then maybe we’d be back in the bar right now kicking Coyote and Phoenix's asses and maybe you’d have a rock on your finger and maybe we’d be telling everyone we need to get going so we can take the dog for a walk, you have no idea how badly I want all of that. I don’t know why I was scared in the first place because there is nothing that could ever be better than a life with you,” he pleaded and it sent a new wave of tears cascading down your face. You wanted all of that too, more than anything but how could you have it now? How could you take that monumental step backwards after everything that has happened in the last year? You couldn’t.

“I wanted that too, Jake, but what am I supposed to think? I hate even giving you this much credit but you ruined me. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or think straight. Rooster was the one who pulled me out, if it wasn’t for him I’d still be in that dark place so while we’re at it maybe lose some of the jealousy towards him and replace it with gratitude. I’m finally okay, finally somewhat happy again and now what? You told me you’re sorry and you wish you hadn’t done it and we’re supposed to pick up where we left off?”

“I meant what I said the night I came back, I’m under no impression you’d ever get back together with me.” he said, his features laced with pain and guilt.

“So why tell me you still want that? As if I don’t? I want nothing more than that rock on my finger and to be planning a stupid wedding with you and arguing with your nosy sisters about dresses and flower arrangements, and asking Mav to walk me down the aisle. That was my dream. You by my side on the ground and in the air, but that dream disappeared the day you did.” He took a step forward as you said this, closing the distance between you and you let him. Every fiber of your being was telling you to take a step back, telling you that tripping and falling into the waves was better than allowing his warmth to radiate throughout your body and pull you in the way it always did.

“Do you still love me?” he asked, his voice low as one of his hands caught your own and your eyes fell shut at the feeling, the first contact you’d shared since that fateful night all those months ago.

“Jake…” you whispered and his forehead rested against your own.

“Just… I know it’s unfair and wrong of me to be asking but just tell me that much.”

“It doesn’t change anything. I can’t go back and you can’t undo what you did.” You shook your head slightly and he raised his hands to cup your face.

“Do you still love me?” You didn’t trust your words, looking up into those green eyes, usually so bright and clear now stormy and filled with worry, so you just nodded, sighing and leaning into his touch as he stroked your tears away with his thumbs. “So let me fix this, let me try, Birdy, please.”

“There’s nothing to fix, Jake.” 

“So what’s the harm in letting me try?” he asked and you just stared up at him. 

“Always so stubborn,” you softly laughed.

“Birdy, you’re it for me. I was an idiot and I did everything wrong, I messed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I know that… just, please let me try to fix this? Let me prove to you that I’m here for the long haul.” 

“I guess I can’t really stop you,” you sighed and the ghost of a smile tugged at his lips.

“I’ll take it.” He dropped his hands and moved with you as you began walking back towards the bar, somehow feeling lighter than you had in months but still plagued with the same heartbreak and uncertainty.

“This doesn’t change anything, Jake. Knowing your reason doesn’t change how I feel and it doesn’t change our dynamic,” you said as you approached the door and he just nodded as he opened it for you.

“I know, but I’m going to do my damndest to change your mind.” Walking in you ignored everyone’s curious looks and grabbed your coat and purse from behind the bar where Penny always let you stash it.

“That looked intense out there,” she commented, handing you a glass of water.

“Always is with him,” you sighed and your eyes widened as you saw Jake approaching Rooster, “oh for the love of god.” you muttered, but Penny put a hand on your shoulder to stop you from intervening.

“Just wait,” she said and you both listened in.

“Look man, I’m sorry for what I insinuated earlier, it wasn’t cool. I wasn’t in the loop on what went down when I was gone, I didn’t realize what you did for her… even if it was more than that it’s not my business. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Didn’t do it for you.” Rooster replied and you smiled softly at the interaction before rounding the bar to approach.

“I know… I just wanted you to know I’m grateful for what you did, and uh… just get her home safe, yeah?” He brought a hand up to the back of his neck, clearly growing uncomfortable with the amount of vulnerability he’d expressed in the last half hour and Rooster just nodded.

“Always do,” he grabbed your jacket from your hands and gave you a once over, “you ready?” 

“Thanks for not hitting him,” you said as soon as you stepped back into the cool night air.

“Really wanted to, Birdy,” he sighed and you laughed.

“I know, thank you for fighting the urge.”

“What the hell happened? Because that man has literally almost killed me on several occasions and that was the first time he’s ever been that humble.” And so you told him, filled him in on every detail on the car ride over and continued as you got ready for bed, and he listened, taking in every word.

“I just, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with any of it. Of course I understand his reason but it doesn’t really justify the actions. If he’d disappeared for like, three days maybe but a whole year?”

“I don’t really think you’re supposed to do anything, Birdy. You said your piece and he said his, the question is do you want him to follow through on fixing it?” he asked as you settled into bed.

“I don’t know. I mean, what would that even look like?” you asked, turning on your side to look at him. “And… just go with me for a second here, if he does fix it and miraculously everything goes back to normal then what? We just get back together like it never happened? Isn’t that just a huge step backwards for me?” 

“Depends on how you look at it. If you feel he truly has changed and made up for his past mistakes then maybe it’s a step forward, do you feel like you could ever trust him again?”

“That’s the thing. No matter what he does to try and fix this I don’t know if the trust will ever be there again, he left once when things were fine, who’s to say what he would do when things get hard?”

“The fact that we’re even having this conversation in this depth leads me to believe you do want him to fix it.” he pointed out.

You sighed, “I don’t know what I want.”

“And that’s fine, you don’t need to know right now, you don’t even need to know a month from now. Just don’t let him reel you back in, not yet at least. He was right about one thing he said tonight, there is nothing that could ever be better than a life with you. If he wants it he has to earn it, and once you feel like he has then you can make a decision.” 

“Hey, when all our aviation careers are over you should look into being a relationship therapist, it suits you.” you teased and he just rolled his eyes.

“I’m only like this when I’m in bed with you, it would be highly unethical to conduct all my therapy sessions that way.” he laughed.

“Find me any straight woman that would be upset at the fact that she gets to spend an hour in bed with you.”

“Speaking of, I didn’t even ask if you wanted me to stay tonight.” he said, suddenly looking down at the way he was completely tucked into your bed and you giggled.

“I don’t even really need you to stay tonight.” you said, giving him a deadpan look before the two of you were sent into another fit of laughter. 

“I went into autopilot,” he said through his laughs before making a move to get up.

“I didn’t say you had to leave,” you said, tugging him back down and he just shook his head as he pulled you in.

“The oh-so-tough Birdy, what would people say if they knew you were just the biggest cuddle bug?”

“That is between you, me, and this bed. If you ever tell anyone I will shoot you out of the sky and you know I can.” you all but mumbled as you sank into his warmth and let sleep tug at the corners of your mind.

“Mmhm, sure.”