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admiringlove · 4 years ago

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hurtful things

+synopsis: genshin boys and the hurtful things they said.

+genre: angst; headcanons.

+characters: kaeya; diluc; childe; zhongli.

+warnings: swearing; crying; implied panic attack.

+order: hey bubs! i saw you doing requests and i HAD to ask for genshin angst :) spare me some tears pls <//3 preferably w kaeya or diluc or childe :) [submitted by @crackheadsara]

+author’s note: okay so i included zhongli bc he’s the love of my life, also i needed comfort from him after writing such hurtful things :D

+navigation: main menu, genshin menu.

— KAEYA.

“i’m better off without you.”

you know from the way your door was knocked in the middle of the night on a weekday after months, that it’s kaeya. you rub your eyes sleepily, trudging towards the door as anger and doubt fuse into a nasty green in your mind.

you unlock the door, pulling it open to see the man with the eyepatch tapping his foot on the deck of your home impatiently. he smirks when his eye lands on you, attempting to walk in but stopping himself when he realizes you're standing at the door, unmoving.

"kaeya, it's three in the morning. and it's monday. i have to report to jean in three hours," you mumble tiredly as you look up at him. the lamp grass by your windowsill outside and the moonlit night accentuated his cerulean eyes and contrasting coffee-colored skin. he frowns, peering down at you as he asks, "may i come in?"

you shrug, opening the door wide as you let the man in. he places his sword on the table and proceeds to walk into the bedroom when you ask, "where have you been for the past two weeks?"

"work," his reply is the same. you let out a sigh in impatience as you retort, "that's the same excuse as always."

he was tired and wanted to sleep off the fatigue from his latest mission. but when he hears you say that, something in him snaps and he turns around, his jaw clenched and a fixed glare making you a little agitated. he raises an eyebrow as he says, "well, unlike you, i am an actual important member of the knights of favonius."

"kaeya, all i meant was that you're always gone. you never write a letter back even if i send you one, and you somehow manage to come back every single time, expecting that it doesn't hurt me. what am i supposed to do?" your voice is small as you look down, hair drooping towards the ground. you're not even yelling at him, you're just worried. he always leaves you alone(sometimes you tag along, but you couldn't tell why nowadays he'd leave you alone without some sort of warning).

"does it ever occur to you that you're just a hindrance?" he bites back, thinking that you're trying to put up a front. you flinch at his words, causing him to force a jeer before he starts again, "you always come along, so maybe i wanted to be away from you for a bit. that's why i leave without a warning so i don't have to tend to your yapping all day. because i'm better off without you."

you gasp as you look up to his figure, now retreating to your shared bedroom. you hear him fall onto the bed with a content sigh as you stand there, wiping at your tears incessantly as hiccups escape your lips. you bit your tongue to stop yourself from crying, pressing a hand on your mouth to muffle the sounds so you don't disturb kaeya. you get a quick peek in, eyes widening when you see him sound asleep and tucked in.

so that's how it was, you think.

the next morning, kaeya wakes up to a cold bed as his arm reaches out to an empty space. his eyes immediately pry open as he wakes up, to see that you weren't here.

ah, he ponders to himself, you must've gone to tend to your duties.

he stretches, letting out a yawn before walking out to the kitchen. he smiles when he sees a plate of food left for him on the countertop with a note from you. but somehow, something felt very wrong about this whole ordeal. this had happened before—he had come back from insanely long missions to you before, so what felt different?

and then it hits him. the things he said last night. he frantically looks around, his azure eyes completely drowned in horror as he notices small changes in your shared household. a few picture frames are missing on the living room walls, your keychain isn't on the bookshelf anymore, and worst of all, when he runs into the closet, half of your clothes are gone.

did you really feel that bad about what he said?

in panic, he runs out and keeps going till he reaches the headquarters of the knights. he barges in this time, not returning the greetings of the guards upfront as he walks into jean's office.

"where are they?" he pants, "i-i messed up, do you know where they are?"

jean's eyes widen as she says, "our associates were having a hard time handling with the fatui in liyue harbor so they volunteered to go there for sometime."

"how long has it been?"

"they left long ago, it's about to be around ten hours since," she says. kaeya's heart shatters as he hears those words. he hadn't expected you to outright leave like that, but if you had said the same things to him, he definitely would've stormed out. his voice cracks as he looks at the ground in shame, "h-how long until they'll be back?"

"i.. don't know."

he regrets everything he's said. he truly does because he doesn't even notice that tears are streaming down his cheeks until jean comes to his aid. he hates himself for all of it—he hates that he has to live in a home where traces of you are visible everywhere; worst of all, he hates how he knows he lost you for good. even if you come back, he knows you wouldn’t run and melt into his arms like you did before. you’re gone now, fading into the darkness and away from him.

maybe it was for the best.

— DILUC.

“you’re nothing but a burden.”

after taking on a few abyss mages and mitachurls, diluc lets a grunt out in pain before you see the slash on his right arm. you gasp, pulling him to the side of the lake as you pull out a bandage and cotton from your bag to clean his wounds. he's reluctant to it at first, but he sits there quietly and broods as you clean the blood with cotton and some type of healing ointment.

you tie the bandage on his arm, a tiny bit of vermillion liquid seeping through the white cloth before sitting down next to him, finally catching a breath. sighing, you look up at him and say, "that was reckless."

"no, what you did was reckless. who told you to come along with me to dadaupa gorge? you knew what you were getting into when you came along, so don't put this on me," he grumbled, frowning as you look at him with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows. you are sort of hurt, but you know he's only saying this in faux indignation, so it's okay. you chuckle out, beginning, "diluc, i was-"

"i don't know why i even bother with you at this point," he exasperates, looking into the distance behind you. he curses slightly under his breath, his rouge eyes filled to the brim with anger as it finally overflows, "you're nothing but a burden."

your eyes suddenly flick to gape at him in disbelief. you stand up, your voice hitching in your throat as you ask, "diluc, you mean that?"

and it all simmers down into ashes when he mumbles "of course i do" under his breath. your vision is blurry as you walk away from the red-haired man, your body trembling as you almost give away that you're crying your eyes out. you walk back in the direction the two of you came from, leaving your broken heart in the hands of diluc, who sat by the lake not muttering a word after.

he knows he's said things he doesn't mean; he does that all the time, but you probably knew that. he figures you're leaving to catch a breath of fresh air—to be away from the tension-filled environment for a bit, you had a habit of doing that at home. he sighs as he ponders over his words for a bit. he knew it was wrong to display such harshness to you, but you probably knew he didn't mean anything by it. he always bubbled over rash things when he was frustrated.

the sun sets in front of him, painting hues of aubergine and peach as it flows down. he wonders where you are, getting up from his spot by the lake to venture towards the path you walked off.

only when he can't find you, is when he thinks that you might've actually taken offense to his words. although he cares about you sincerely, he finishes his mission first, getting a lead on the abyss order—because protecting monstadt was his first priority. you lingered in his mind every second of every day till he finally got back home. and when he didn't find you there, he asks adelinde about it, who only shakes her head and tells him, "i'm sorry, master diluc, but i haven't seen them come back. i thought they were with you."

it all pieces together in his mind now, how a small gasp had escaped your lips when he had called you a burden. the way you nodded begrudgingly, getting up and walking away from his presence as your shoulders trembled. the way he could hear you choke back a sob, but still ignored it, thinking you had overreacted in the situation.

he searches the whole city for you. he searches every nook and corner, and even walks into the headquarters of the knights of favonius(he ignores kaeya's teases instead of biting back this time). and when he finally sees you, he holds himself back. his hand is suspended awkwardly in the air as he reaches out for you, your back turned towards him.

maybe this was better—maybe it was a good thing that you had walked away from him. this way, the abyss order won't be able to harm you. this way, he won't be able to harm you. this way, you'll be safe and sound, away from the storm known as diluc ragnvindr.

— CHILDE.

“it’s not like you mean anything to me.”

it's not often you see childe. he's always in liyue, and you're here, stuck in monstadt or snezhnaya. it's cold today(as it always is) in snezhnaya, the snow covered almost everything outside as you looked out of your window, sipping on hot coffee as you sigh at the wilting roses on the sill. they'd wilted when you had gone to monstadt and you didn't have the heart to plant new ones.

just thinking about the blue-eyed childish man would make your heart bloom and cheeks flustered. you longed to spend more time with him, really. if only he wasn't affiliated with the fatui, he'd be able to spend more time with you. it had been months since you had seen him, and you longed to be in his arms once again, but who knows when that'll happen again? whenever he comes home, he chooses to spend a night with you and then head back. he'd laugh alongside you, tell you about his adventures, and give small reactions when you told him about yours. and the next morning, you'd wake up to an empty bed with a small note by the table, saying how he has to leave for work.

a knock at your door snaps you out of your entranced state. as you open the lock and look out, you see childe, standing there with a tired grin and disheveled hair as he walks in without a word. he hands you a small paper bag, saying, "i brought you back something from liyue this time."

the same excuse, you think. it's always the same. he brings back small mementos and souvenirs as a pretense for staying, and by the time you think you can forgive him, he's gone. he plops down onto the sofa, stretching his arm out so you could join him. the thought of confronting him crosses your mind, but you shake it off—since he had only just gotten back.

the night is the same as always. talking about each others' adventures, eating dinner by the fireplace, laughing alongside one another until you hit the bed. it's quiet now as you watch over his sleeping figure, his lapis-colored eyes now hidden. you sigh as you lay there for hours on end, twiddling with his brown hair as you wait for him to wake up(so this time you can actually say goodbye).

when his eyes flutter open, he's a little taken aback when he looks over at you to see you wide awake. his brows furrow just a smidge as he says, "you're up."

"well, i wanted to say goodbye this time," you chuckle dryly, "you always leave without waking me up."

"i don't like the way you said that," he says, getting up from his position on the bed. you look away from him, your eyes displaying hurt as you murmur, "i don't like the way you leave."

"well, it's my job. it's not like i'm an adventurer like you, wasting my time around. i'm a harbinger and i have responsibilities," he says. his voice is neither too soft and nor too prickly, and you can tell that he's a little worked up by the way he lightly nips on the skin of his bottom lip as his gaze bores into you.

"i didn't say you don't. all i said was that you could maybe sometimes stay for more than one night. it feels like you're using me, and when you're bored, you leave."

"oh?" he cocks an eyebrow as he stands up, "i'm using you, huh?"

you grimace at the tone of his voice, and when you look at him, you notice the sheer annoyance he puts up towards you. your voice is small when you ask him if he loves you—because you don't know anymore. seeing him once in a few months for the past few years has sure hurt you more than anything, and if you don't tell him now, then you might never get a chance.

"what if i say i don't?" he smirks, walking up to you, "it's not like you mean anything to me. what if i agree that i am using you to make myself happy until i'm bored, so i can then throw you away?"

he doesn't like what he's saying either. his mind is screaming at him to stop, but he's worked up. he's irritated by the way you jabbed at him first thing in the morning, even though he knows you're right. his heart almost stops when he looks at the expression on your face after he says those words, and as he reaches out his hand for you, you turn away.

your voice cracks, and he's sure his heart did as well when you mumble, "i-i'd like you to leave, please."

"wait, i didn't mean-"

"tartaglia," your eyes look into his, perhaps for the last time, as you give him a sad smile, "you don't have to come back to me anymore."

it hurts him as he leaves your home that morning. it hurts him when he comes back months later to see that your home is now empty. it hurts him because he tarnished the you that was once his.

it hurts him, but he thinks it's for the best if you stay away from him if all he does is bring you pain.

— ZHONGLI.

“i’d like you to leave me alone.”

zhongli was never one to pick fights. he was peaceful; his thoughts were positive(most of the time), and he almost always preferred to talk about his problem rather than fighting about it—he believes that fighting will only bring pain, so why not confide in one another about our problems instead?

he's quiet. he's not shy(it's quite the opposite, actually), but he's one to prefer to only talk when absolutely necessary. he's the type to listen rather than speak, saying something like, "we have two ears and one mouth. speak less than you listen."

he smiles when his mind goes back to the time when he said that to you while having a cup of tea together, and you'd replied, "my mother used to tell me that when i was a child."

because it's true; every child in liyue harbor has heard those words at least once in their lives. the quality of listening is appreciated more than the quality of speaking—and zhongli, for one, was a listener.

you, on the other hand, were a speaker. you always woke him up every morning with a smile as bright and everlasting as the sun, babbling about breakfast and tea as he got up from the bed. you were the one that carried conversations on your shoulders on morning walks, you were the one that intertwined your fingers with his as the two of you walked amongst flowers, adoring them as you talked about the contrasting colors of silk flowers and glaze lilies. he loved you for that. he loved you because you were a speaker. he loved you because you were a perfect balance, the only one who could soften his hardened heart. the only one whom he'd chosen to wake up next to in the mornings, the only one whom he'd let ruffle his hair without asking(because he secretly liked it).

so why had he reversed the roles tonight? why was he the one to bubble out his frustrations to you, speaking in a cold and stern manner instead of the loving tone that was only reserved for you? why was he the one to speak tonight, and why were you the one to listen?

it's not like he was actually frustrated—he was only thinking about something else as you asked him what he wanted for dinner. it surely wasn't your fault when he had poured over turbulent words to you. and he knows that the ones that hurt the most probably were, "i'd like you to leave me alone."

he looks up at the stars, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he walks back into his shared home with you. he looks around, and when there's no sign of you, he feels himself break apart even more.

had you actually left? he wants to run to you and tell you he hadn't meant any of those words because he hadn't. he wants to touch you, to caress you, to please you, to make you smile—and he wants to admit he was wrong. he wants to make it right, but he doesn't know where you are.

he walks into the empty bedroom, sitting on the cold mattress as his eyes sting. he doesn't understand what's happening, or why there are small drops of water falling from his eyes. he doesn't understand why everything feels heavy all of a sudden—his heart, his throat his lungs, everything. he doesn't understand why he feels like he's trapped in a box, and the water seems to be filling up more quickly than he'd prefer. he wants to reach for air, but he can't.

he couldn't breathe without you.

he hears the door close and immediately gets up in haste to walk to the living room where he sees you take off your boots. you turn around to see him, his disheveled hair and frantic eyes finally calming as he walks over to you and engulfs you in a warm embrace. his throat cleared up, and so did his heart and lungs as he mumbles against your ear, "i'm so sorry."

you smile smally, looking up at him as you cup his cheeks and wipe a stray tear, and mutter, "it's okay, zhongli. stress gets to the best of us."

god, how he loves you. he places a small peck on the top of your forehead as he feels his lips turn upward at your touch and the scent of glaze lilies lingering over you tells him that you'd been to the flower garden. he sleeps with your fingers weaved with his that night and pulls you even closer if you untangle with him in sleep.

he makes a promise to himself saying he'd never hurt you like that again, and he keeps it.

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haik-choo · 4 years ago

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karasuno first years out late w/ their s/o

request: Could you write how 1st years (yachi too pls🥺) going out with their s/o late at night ?

a/n: this is such a cute little concept i --

[KARASUNO FIRST YEARS OUT LATE AT NIGHT WITH THEIR S/O]

-tsukishima, kageyama, yamaguchi, hinata, yachi

tsukishima kei.

not gonna lie, he’s often awake late at night. he’s a night owl and doesn’t mind sacrificing his sleep to watch some youtube videos

occasionally, he even goes out late at night, slipping past his parents and brother’s room and softly closing the front door with his headphones covering his ears and his hands stuffed in his pockets

so when you text him at 3am and ask if he can go out with you to the convenience store, he agrees in seconds to meet you at the halfway point between your houses

wastes no time in putting on his sneakers and a hoodie; he wants to get there quickly so that you aren’t left out by yourself

tsukishima knows there’s creeps out there, which is exactly why he jogs to the halfway point and is relieved when he’s the first one there

as soon as he sees you in the distance he fast walks to catch up to you, and slips his hand into yours

he totally brings bluetooth earbuds so that you two can listen to the same music instead of his wired headphones <3 uwu

is always on the lookout for any weirdos, and if he spots someone eyeing you up he shoots them the nastiest glare

eventually wraps his arms around your shoulder while your hand is sitll in his and its that cute little thing where your arms is across your chest holding his hand </3

pays for whatever you get at the store, ignores your complaints and tells you to shut up when you continue to insist on paying

“im trying to be a good boyfriend for once, for the love of god PLEASE shut up”

secretly takes a candid photo of you at some point in the night and sets it as his home screen -- NOT his lock screen, and when you see it he outright denies having taken it

tsukishima: you told me to take a picture of you

you: stop lying i know you’re a closet hopeless romantic

convinces you to stop at the park and eat the snacks you both got there, music still humming in your ears as the moonlight washes you both in cool tones

tsukishima when he’s alone with you is so soft -- he literally kisses your hand and temple and mutters very softly “love you”

all in all, tsukishima kei is the perfect night-owl boyfriend to go on snack-runs with

kageyama tobio.

"why would i go out right now. do you know what time it is. i have practice in the morning”

kags really out here kinda hurtin’ your feelin’s ngl boy doesn’t understand the vibes LOL

honestly you probably woke him up, he’s asleep at like ten every night (even tho he still has homework to do he just flat-out ignores it LOL)

only agrees to go out walking with you because you said he could bring his volleyball and you’d toss a few for him....and also because he’s a little worried because it’s so dark out

doesn’t walk with you to the park but meets you there LOL

he deadass has his wholeass duffel bad with the ball, two waterbottles, two towelettes, volleyball sneakers and everything

“you know,,,,we’re not playing a game, right, tobio?”

“yeah???? and??? what’s your point”

acts nonchalant but is totally having fun and is lowkey glad you asked him to go out so late because it’s cool out, there’s no one to bother him, and you just look...really good under the stars

he’s not a cheesy person but...god you just take his breath away sometimes. not that he’ll ever say that though

you ask to take a break like thirty minutes in because you are LITERALLY dying meanwhile he hasn’t even broken a sweat (”you’re already tired? maybe you should workout more” “shut UP kageyama”)

you both sit on the bench, and you’re lowkey waiting for him to reach for your hand but they’re just folded in his lap as he stares out in the nothingness of night

kageyama can’t take a hint. we know this. he’s incapable of knowing what you want unless you flat out tell him; so you have to be a very honest person

he doesn’t even really initiate skinship, not because he doesn’t want to, but just because it never really crosses his mind

plus he doesn’t feel the need to constantly show affection because he thinks it’s obvious that he likes you

despite this, he is good at spotting weird people, and he’s pretty protective of you, so you’re completely safe with him. trust him, he’ll keep you safe

all in all, have patience and stamina because kags will play volleyball with you until you pass out. also, he loves you

yamaguchi tadashi.

is in bed by 11pm but doesn’t actually go to sleep until two am because he’s scrolling through tiktok on his phone

sees your text about wanting to go out for a late night walk and maybe go through the little forest near your house and automatically sends a text that says “ill meet you at your window! can you pack some snacks? :)”

he walks all the way to your house, even if it’s more convenient to meet halfway because he wants to protect you! he’s not the strongest nor is he the most intimidating, so all he really has to offer is his presence

despite not being strong nor scary, yams literally has eagle eye. you can’t tell me that he can’t read people in a heartbeat -- he’s extremely perceptive

also texts you to not bring a jacket because he’s bringing on of his own for you !!! so sweet what the hell

he waits at your front door and when you step out he automatically pushes his volleyball jacket into your hands and he takes the bag of snacks from you and sticks out one of his hands UGH such a gentleman

lets you ramble about anything and stares at your side profile as he listens

joins in with a few quips here and there but ultimately is pretty quite and lets you speak or lets the silence cozy into the conversation

sees that there’s a guy sitting on a bench up the road and he switches places with you so that you’re further away from the stranger

also wraps a protective hand around your waist until you both are past the random dude but yams will glance behind yall every once in a while

when you two reach the mini forest he ends up taking the lead claiming that he knows a good spot

and damn, he’s right

it’s a little clearing that is illuminated solely by the moonlight and he sets the bag of snacks down beside him before sitting down himself, apologizing for not bringing a blanket that you two could sit on

pats the spot next to him so that you sit right beside him and he leans back with his hand on yours ONGMIRG

is the super cheesy type and tells you that you look really pretty and that,,,he kind of wants to kiss you

you: *experiencing heart palpitations* and you did this for what.

yamaguchi: ...because i love you?

you: *K.O*

all in all, yamaguchi is the boyfriend that completely indulges your late-night escapades <3

hinata shoyo.

is either completely fast asleep and doesn’t see your text or was awake and not planning to sleep for the next five hours, no in-between

but if he’s awake and sees your text, he agrees right away and asks where you want to meet up and what time because homeboy probably has to bike to get there AgAGAGAGA

literally doesn’t even show up in sneakers. he’s wearing sandals and shorts with a short sleeve top

“i came in my pjs”

“i see that.”

asks if you two can bike around instead because he doesn’t want to have to wheel his bike around for like an hour

he tells you to hold on tight because the bike was built for one person, and when you press against his back his warmth is literally so,,,comforting

has no sense of awareness and will scream going down a hill in the middle of a neighborhood, no fucks given

so, no, he doesn’t notice any weriod people even if there are some around

you always end up running into some weird people and you get new interesting stories every other day because let’s be honest hinata is a magnet for crazy shit and crazy people (usually crackheads)

you both just ride around as he talks about his day, usually his sister always comes up in the conversation( “she asked me to marry you the other day” “doirhgAEROIHFGRE SHOYO WHAT” “what? i told her i would. i keep my promises!”)

after like thirty minutes he begs for a break and you stop at a little 24/7 ice cream store that is run by the sweetest elderly couple

you share a sundae because you don’t want to eat too much this late at night

he plops on the bench right outside the store with his bike leaning against the metal handles, and h snuggles up to you and watches you scroll on your phone

he talks a little here and there, but for the most part, he goes quiet, and it’s during this time where you’re unaware of his gaze that he just takes his time drinking in your features in the yellow light of the lamppost

he can’t read the mood most times, but this time he does, and he stays quiet, and he thinks to himself

that he really will marry you one day

all in all, hinata gives you the impulsive young teenage experience of late night bike rides while eating his fair share of ice cream

yachi hitoka.

another either or, except this time she’s either fast asleep or stressing over homework and the nine tests she has the next day

when you ask if she can go on a walk with you she’s hesitant because she doesn’t want to get in trouble with her mom and she’s a total goody goody and terrified of doing anything reckless; but then she remembers that her mom was on a business trip and so she, very cautiously, says yes

you: good. i’m outside your door btw

yachi: i never had a choice did i

you have to meet her at her house because she’s way too scared to walk by herself at night; she might even make you factime her as you commute because she’s worried for you

jumps at every little thing, even the crows cawing make her shit herself

instictively grabs onto your sleeve and nervously look around the entire time, to the point where she doesn’t hear what you say

so you offer to go to a little cafe that’s still open and right away she nods

she’s so adorable, she bows really deeply when you two walk into the store and apologizes for it being so late

and finally, because you two are safe, she’s calm and smiling as she sips at her strawberry smoothie

awkwardly and very shyly reaches out for your hand on the table and gently lays her palm on yours

canon: yachi totally has freckles and you can’t convince me otherwise

her face is red and her freckles are just on display you can’t help but coo at her and tuck some hair behind her ear because god could she get any cuter?

you two end up staying for like a hour and a half and very shyly she asks if you could walk her home

and this time on the walk she’s not overly cautious and seems to enjoy the nighttime breeze and your hand softly clasping hers

does that cute thing where she lays her head on your shoulder or arm while you both are walking and looks up at you through her eyelashes and asks if you could give her a kiss on the cheek </3

you: stop. please. im going to die.

when you’re at her door she literally just stands there awkwardly for a few seconds before tilting her head upwards and pressing her lips to yours and then promptly running inside

video calls you three seconds afterwards to make sure you get home safely

all in all, you might need to be the impulsive one, but yachi enjoys spending late night time with you more than she admits. also please kiss her thanks

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minizode · 4 years ago

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memory

pairing: jay / f!reader

wordcount: 3.3k

genre: angst, comfort

warning: breakups, evil management, hurt feelings, enhypen being crazy, jay is kind of an ass in the beginning, female pronouns

+ summary: jay breaks up with his girlfriend of two years. why?

note! hey! this is my first fic on kpop tumblr... i really hope you guys like it. i’m pretty bad at writing angst but i’ve had this idea in my head for such a long time that i really wanted to post it for more people to see! also this is in third person, so pls lmk if you’d prefer second person because i couldn’t decide

��y/n!” Jay called from the door.

Backstage was crowded with people bustling from left to right, preparing for the next performance. Jay stood tall and searched the crowd for the face of his girlfriend.

His saving grace, y/n’s bandmate, saw Jay and caught her attention, motioning her to the door where Jay was. She smiled and quickly maneuvered past the staff members to stand in front of him.

“Hey,” she smiled. “Good job on your performance, by the way, you looked really good up there.” She paused.“But why are you here? I have like… five minutes until I need to be on stage.”

“Thank you.” Jay nodded and pushed his hands into his pockets. “And I know, but Heeseung-Hyung said I needed to tell you this as soon as possible.”

“Okay! Can we just go over there? It’s really hard to hear you,” She motioned for him to follow her to a space behind some boxes of equipment. “Can you help me?” She said with the sweetest smile, and Jay felt his heart crack a little more down the middle. She held out the wires for her mic pack, which he took quickly and turned her around.

“So, we’ve been dating for a long time,” Jay started as he plugged the wires into the small black box on the waistband of her shorts. “You know, it’s almost our one-thousand days.”

y/n giggled and nodded. “Five more days, yeah.”

Jay took a breath and pursed his lips as he pulled her hair to the side, exposing soft skin on the back of her neck. He bit back every urge he had to rest his head there and adjusted her mic before turning her around to face him. “Well, don’t you think it’s been a little too long?”

y/n’s eyebrows furrowed together, surely ruining her makeup and creating creases. “What are you trying to say?”

“Just… don’t you think it’s time to focus on ourselves? We’re progressing with our lives and-”

y/n’s scoff cut him off. “Just say you’re bored of me, Jay. Just say it.” Her tone had taken a complete shift from what it had sounded like mere seconds ago.

“That’s not what I’m saying, y/n.” He sighed. “I just want you to be happy, I want to be happy too.”

“But I am happy,” she rebutted.

“Not as happy as you could be. Our relationship is the same routine, nothing new is happening. I mean, I’ve finally debuted… don’t you think it’s about time for us to move on?”

y/n let out a laugh of disbelief. “Is that not what a relationship is supposed to be? We’re supposed to be comfortable… and you didn’t seem to have a problem with that when I debuted.”

“We can’t be together forever, y/n. That’s just not realistic,” Jay muttered and pursed his lips. y/n shook her head.

“And I thought…” she sighed and ran a hand through her freshly curled hair, ruining that too. “Whatever. I don’t have time for this,” she said, turning on her heel and walking toward the entrance of the stage right as the staff called her name. “We’re over, Jay. Have a good life.”

And with that, she walked on stage, a perfectly crafted smile on her face.

Jay got back to his seat just by the time the music started.

“Did you do it?” Sunghoon asked with hesitancy.

Jay nodded and turned to the stage. Automatically, his eyes flickered towards y/n, as though it was an impulse. To any normal person, she would look fine. Happy, even. Her makeup didn’t look creased and her hair looked fine; she looked beautiful as always. She was smiling when she sang her part, she shone just as brightly as her other members. However, Jay knew her better than anyone; he could see the sadness mixed with anger in her eyes. But she was a professional, and as always, managed to mask her feelings with the factory manufactured expressions on her face.

“Was she mad?” Niki asked from beside Jay. He turned to Niki and shrugged.

“I think so.”

“You should have waited,” Sunoo muttered. “Telling her right before her performance was a dirty move, even for you.”

Jay scoffed, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Just as Sunoo opened his mouth to contradict, Jungwon placed his hands on both of their shoulders. “Stop fighting, guys. You can discuss all you want back at the dorms. Just not in public, people are watching.”

The other members watched Jay roll his eyes and turn his attention back to the performance.

The song was reaching its end; the climax, y/n’s part. She was singing with passion and fervor, Jay would even go as far to say that she sounded, and looked, better than ever. The tears in her eyes made it all the more powerful.

And then, just like that, it was over. Her chest heaved as she smiled at the camera. There was an emotion on her face that he couldn’t quite place, but it didn’t matter, because they were over. He would never see her face again.

y/n laid in her bed, watching the dust specks glide through the sunlight, landing upon her bedsheets. There, strewn upon them, was the black sweatshirt of Jay’s that reminded her of all the things she had a day ago. It reminded her of everything she lost over one simple conversation.

Part of her wished she had ignored him at that doorway; she wished she didn’t take him to a quieter area, she wished she didn’t ask him for help with her mic pack, she wished she hadn’t even let him speak. Maybe then, the conversation would’ve been saved for a better day.

She was confused; why did he break up with her? It was so out of the blue, so random. It hadn’t even occurred in her mind that they would ever break up. y/n had never experienced a break up before. Was it normal to feel this bad?

She knew, upon hearing her friends’ ailments, that it sucked. But y/n had never realized the true meaning of heartbreak until now. But she wasn’t crying… was she supposed to cry? Was she supposed to feel something? Right now, she only felt numb. Like she was a speck of dust floating in the cold winter sunlight and falling onto her bedsheets.

There was a soft knock on her door. Silence for a second, then another series of knocks, followed by the door opening. Due to the layout of her room, she couldn’t see the door, nor the person coming inside. She thought it was one of her members again, telling her to come to eat or drink some water, to go shower or use the bathroom, or even just get out of bed and change into something else to save her from wallowing in a well of sadness. What she didn’t expect, however, was the gentleness of the leader of Enhypen, one of her closest friends.

“y/n,” his voice was warm, just like the hesitant hand on her shoulder. “You need to get up.”

Her body turned so she could face him. He looked tired; dark bags under his eyes. His irises were lacking their usual stars, and his lips were pale. What happened to him?

“Are you okay?” were the first words that left her lips from last night. Her throat was dry, it felt like sandpaper. It showed in her voice; the scratchiness of it.

Jungwon sighed and sat on the edge of her bed. “This isn’t about me, noona. Minju called and told me you haven’t even gotten out of bed since after the show last night.” He brought his face closer to hers with his eyebrows turned down. “Did you even take off your makeup?”

She shook her head.

He sighed again. For a sixteen-year-old, Jungwon sighed more than a disappointed old man. “Please get out of bed. You’ll die at this rate.”

A hoarse giggle escaped her throat and she ran her hands down her face. “I think that’s a little overdramatic.”

“No, I’m serious! For real… I thought you guys would be able to take care of yourselves. Turns out a kid two years younger than you has to take care of you because you’re both too stupid to do it yourself.”

“Hey!” she sat up in her bed. “That’s rude, Jungwon.”

“You know what’s rude?” Jungwon said. “Ignoring your basic human needs and making the people close to you worried!” Jungwon never raised his voice, let alone at someone who was older than him. Was he really this worked up? “It’s nearly four P.M, noona. You haven’t eaten anything since last night. At least Jay-Hyung is doing better than you… at least he got up. Even if he’s so upset that he’s been playing games all day, at least he’s taking care of himself.”

y/n’s face twisted to annoyance. “Upset?” she scoffed. “Why in the name of God would he be upset? He’s the one who broke up with me.”

“You don’t think he feels bad?”

Silence engulfed the room. y/n had known Jay for three years, dated him for two. In all that time of knowing him, one thing was for certain; he always tried his best to not show his negative emotions. That was one of the things that tested their relationship almost constantly. He never told her when he was upset because he knew she would feel guilty for it. He never wanted to hurt her, even though it ended up hurting her more by finding out through other people. Even now, they experience the same thing.

“Then why did he break up with me?” y/n’s voice was small. “We were happy… at least I thought we were. He even planned a big date for our one-thousand days on Monday,” she didn’t realize her voice was shaking until Jungwon pulled her into a hug.

“I think the only way you’ll be able to figure out the answers to everything is if you talk to him yourself. I can comfort you, but you won't be able to get closure unless you talk to him.”

y/n pulled away and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t think I can get more upset than this so…” she trailed off. “Maybe it’s worth a shot? Besides, I have a lot of stuff to do and I can’t let this plague my mind anymore otherwise I’ll get in trouble with my manager,” she let out a teary laugh. Jungwon giggled with her and nodded his head.

“You can come with me back to the dorm. But only after you get ready and eat some food.”

y/n sat on the grey futon in the boys’ living room. She had been there several times ever since they had moved in, but something was different this time; Jay wasn’t sitting beside her. It felt wrong sitting on the center cushion without the warmth of a body beside her. Well, there were actually two boys sitting beside her trying to cheer her up, but it didn’t feel the same.

“He’ll be back in an hour or so,” Heeseung had told her. “He and Niki went out to get some groceries.”

y/n watched as Sunghoon chased Sunoo around the living room with a spatula that held a fried egg (one that y/n had actually cooked for them when she arrived. Why Sunghoon was chasing Sunoo rather than eating it was beyond her). Jungwon and Jake sat on either side of her, laughing at the ungraceful occurrence before them. Heeseung walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, running face-first into Sunghoon, who splatted the egg all over his shirt.

Amongst the commotion of y/n grabbing a towel to help Heeseung and Jake getting him a new shirt, the door opened and the two missing boys arrived in the apartment. Upon hearing Jay’s greeting of “We’re home!”, y/n frantically looked around the room for an escape. She resorted to hiding behind Sunghoon and Sunoo, who were bickering about who’s fault it was.

Too bad that Jay was as sharp as an eagle. He saw her the moment he and Niki walked into the living room.

The deafening silence that followed raised goosebumps on everyone’s skin. Jay looked over each of his members’ faces before finding the guilty look on Jungwon’s; a dead giveaway. Jay pressed his lips in a tight line before leaving the room, probably going to the kitchen to put away the groceries.

“Um…” Sunoo turned to y/n. “Maybe you should come back later… he looks like he’s in a bad mood,” he whispered.

“He’s only in a bad mood because Jungwon brought her here.”

“Well they need to talk, it’s not my fault he decided to end things that way.”

“He should’ve been more considerate of her feelings.”

Niki, who had been silent the entire time, walked over to y/n and opened his arms for a hug. It made her smile slightly. The youngest was always somewhat reserved around her. Maybe it was because she was a girl, or maybe it’s just because he didn’t know her as well as he would’ve liked. But he probably caught onto the fact that she wasn’t in a good headspace, and he was a good-hearted kid, so he just wanted to show her he cared.

“You should just talk to him now,” Niki said lowly. “Jay-Hyung!” he yelled, and all the other members looked at him in shock. “Come here!”

In seconds, Jay appeared in the doorway. The other boys looked around at each other before moving out of the way.

“We’ll give you guys some space,” Jake said softly before leaving the room. The others followed suit.

y/n stood in the middle of the room, looking at the patterned socks on her feet. Her large hoodie hung to her mid-thighs, covering the denim shorts she wore underneath. She was never too good at confrontation… it was scary and there were so many factors to consider. But she had to do it this time.

Jay stood in front of her and reached out to grab her hand, running his thumb across her knuckles, something he knew calmed her down in most situations. But right now, it only made her feel worse. Didn’t he hate her?

“What did you wanna talk about?” he said slowly, cautiously.

She breathed in quickly and looked up at him before speaking. “I just… I just need to know why. Why did you want to end things? Two people in love can’t just break up one day, you know? It has to have been some build-up. What was it? What did I do?”

Jay hummed and looked down at their connected hands. “I was going to just continue on the lie I told you back at the show but,” he paused and shook his head, looking back up at her. “I can’t keep lying to you. It kills me too much.”

y/n looked confused. “What does that mean?”

“You know how when I got the chance to be in the show, they didn’t really like the idea of us dating?”

She nodded, a signal for him to continue.

“Well, the company said that now that I’ve debuted, it’s an even bigger problem. It would be fine if you weren’t an idol, but you are. And they don’t like how famous you are compared to us, I guess?” Jay looked torn. y/n’s group was one of the most popular girl groups on the charts. “They think that people will find out about our relationship, and that will bring down our reputation, apparently.”

“Seriously?” y/n pulled her hand from his. “That’s… the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard.”

“I’m not lying, baby. I would never lie to you about this.”

y/n walked backward before sitting on the couch and putting her face in her hands. “It’s not that I don’t believe you, Jay. It’s just… that’s so stupid. Why would they make you break up with me now? Why didn’t they talk about this earlier? And why didn’t you just tell me? I would’ve understood.” She sounded hurt. Understandable, considering the words leaving his mouth. “I, of all people, would understand. I know how important this is to you. Don’t you think I would’ve listened if you just told me the truth?”

“I just thought that if I made up something, it would be easier for you to move on. Because now, you know I never lost feelings for you. I just can’t bring my group down incase anything ever got out to the public.”

y/n’s lips quivered. “So… so that’s it then?” her voice was threatening to crack. Her throat was tight and sore, and it felt like if she made one wrong move she would break. “We’re just going to end things like this?”

“What other choice do we have? I don’t want you to get caught involved with a scandal… That would ruin your career more than it would mine.”

She sniffled. “I just wish that things were different.”

“Hey,” he stepped closer to her. “Please don’t cry. It won’t be fair to both of us.”

He was right, as he always was. She couldn’t cry; it wouldn’t be fair. Because life was never fair to them. It pushed them to the extremes and they always came back intact, holding each other tightly so they wouldn’t lose the pieces. Like when her grandfather was sick, or when Jay had to move away. When they couldn’t contact each other for months, or when she got injured when he was gone. Life was unfair, but they had to make it through.

Her heart was unsettled, thumping weakly against her chest as she stared up at the boy. His platinum blond hair brushed over his eyes and she moved it away. He gently smiled down at her.

She wanted to close her eyes and pretend everything that happened was fake; she wanted to wake up from this nightmare of a reality. But she knows she can’t. So her eyes searched his face as she remembered everything they’ve done together; everything he’s made her feel. Her heart was shattering all over again, each piece a memory from her life with him that she would have to move on from. Each piece that she would have to pick up when he left because they were too valuable to be left on the ground.

But no matter what, y/n would not cry, because it wouldn’t be fair for Jay.

“Not crying.” she nodded her head. Tears pooled around the corner of her eyes. Jay could see them, and his heart trembled a little. But he has to do this, for both of them. It wasn’t fair, it never would be. They didn’t sign up for this when they signed those contracts. But this is what they needed to do, and upon seeing that she listened and supported him, he didn’t want to make it any harder for her than it already was.

Jay smiled a teary, broken smile. He sniffled and blinked away the tears beginning to sting at his own eyes. He nodded his head in agreement and reached his hand out to run his fingers through her messy hair. His heart wanted one thing, but his head told him something else. It would be okay for him to be selfish for a spare five seconds, right? It wouldn’t hurt, he guessed. So he leaned down and pressed a soft, sparing kiss on her lips. It was short, but it spoke more than a thousand words.

Please take care of yourself, please stay safe, stay healthy. Thank you for loving me, thank you for letting me love you. His soul tears a little when he pulls away, but he quickly holds himself together. He couldn’t break in front of her. It wouldn’t be fair.

note! ahh okay! that’s it that’s the end!! i actually really dislike this, now that i’ve read it over and over again. i’m not too good at this type of stuff, but maybe i’ll get better in the future. i hope you guys liked it, at least a little, and it wasn’t a waste of your time. @nico-nico-niki , since you wanted to be tagged <3

#jay x reader #park jay x reader #jay park x reader #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen angst #park jeongseong x reader #jeongseong x reader #enhypenwriters

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fanfics4all · 4 years ago

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The Worst Year

Request: Yes / No hey!! can you write this for me please? 🥰 it’s draco x best friend reader (PLATONIC PLS), and harry x reader (secret relationship) draco and reader are like brother sister they are always bickering but they care a lot for each other, the reader and harry are in a relationship since 4th year and in 7th when harry goes hunting, the reader is numb like depressed she doesn eat (has loss weight), doesn’t sleep and draco is worried, one day she has a breakdown (really bad) and d is there -like really worried, so she tells him about harry, d is mad and overprotective (like a brother) but comforts her and takes care of her, is always like “please eat something!” “you are so skinny just eat please!!” and they sleep in the same room so he comforts her. and then harry is back, they have an emotional reunion, and draco warns harry “if you hurt her i kill you” or smth like that THANK YOU SO MUCH and sorry if this is so specific!! (feel free to not write everything or none hajaja) ❤️❤️ @starcross16

Requests are open <3 Have a nice day/night

Harry Potter x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1700

Warnings: Not eating, not sleeping, breakdown, just a lot of sadness

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

Draco malfoy was my best friend. He was more like a brother to me, and we sure act like brother and sister. So when fourth year came around and I started dating Harry Potter, big brother Draco came out.

“Have you gone bloody mad?” He asked, storming into my dorm.

“Good afternoon to you too.” I said rolling my eyes.

“Tell me what I just heard is simply a rumor.” He said with narrowed eyes. I raised my brow at him confused.

“Well I can’t read your mind Dray so you better tell me if you wish for me to confirm.” I said.

“You’re dating Potter?” He growled and I sighed.

“Honestly Draco, yes I am.” I said and his eyes widened.

“Then you have gone mad, or he spelled you!” He said and I sighed again.

“No I haven’t and no he hasn’t. Honestly Draco I’m happy with him.” I said. He stared at me for a bit and then sighed.

“Why’d it have to be Potter…” He groaned, laying next to me.

“I know you dislike him, but could you please not try and ruin this for me?” I asked.

“We’ll see.” He said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes. That was the best I was gonna get. Draco’s bullying got worse and I would beg him to stop. It only started to die down when I started ignoring him.

When year six came around that summer was the worst of mine and Draco’s lives. Each of us had met the dark lord and he said he would kill the other if we didn’t take his mark. I couldn’t let Draco die, but I didn’t want his mark. I watched as he took the mark to save my life and I felt tears form in my eyes.

“Your turn dear, take it or watch Draco die.” His sickening voice said.

“O-Okay.” I stuttered and offered my arm to him. I felt pain run through my body and felt like ice was consuming my blood. The snake and skull formed on my arm and I gulped. Draco took me to his room after and I started crying.

“Hey, it’s alright love, everything will be alright.” He whispered, holding me close.

“Harry is going to hate me…” I whispered.

“He’ll understand.” He whispered back.

I was with Draco when he almost killed Dumbledor. Luckily Snape stepped in and took the burden. Draco grabbed me and we ran along with the Death Eaters. I was so worried about Harry, but I don’t know if I should risk looking for him.

“What about Harry?” I asked.

“Y/N/N, we need to go, we can’t risk staying here anymore.” He said with fear in his eyes.

“But-”

“I promise you, as soon as we get home I’ll help you sneak a letter to him.” He said and I bit my lip.

“Alright…” I said and he continued to pull me along. As he promised Draco, help me send Harry a letter. After a few days I received one back.

‘Dear Y/N,

I know you are a Death Eater. I saw you on the Astronomy Tower when Dumbledore was killed. I saw how scared you were and now I understand. Your life is on the line and I promise I will free you. However I’m going on a journey to find all of his Horcruxes. I need to destroy all of them before I can kill him and set you free. I won’t be able to send you any more letters and please don’t try and send me any. I don’t know where this will take me, but I must do it. Please be safe. I love you.

Love always, Harry’

I wouldn’t be seeing Harry any time soon. That thought broke my heart and I started crying. Draco pulled me to him and took the letter from my hands. He read it and held me tighter.

“It’s alright Y/N/N, you’ll see him again.” He whispered and kissed my head.

Months went by and my depression was only getting worse. I still haven’t heard from Harry, for all I knew he was dead. That thought haunted my mind, never leaving me. I no longer ate or slept, whenever I did I would just have horrible nightmares. At first no one noticed my lack of eating or sleeping, but soon my weight dropped and my bags under my eyes were incredibly dark. Draco was incredibly worried about me. So worried that he started having me share his room with him. That’s when I stopped bothering to get out of bed.

“Love, I brought you some breakfast.” Draco said, walking in with a tray of food.

“Not hungry…” I mumbled. He set it on his bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Please Y/N, you need to eat.” He begged.

“What’s the point?” I whispered.

“Love, please.” He said and turned me to face him.

“Harry is probably dead, so what’s the point?” I asked and I saw tears start to form in his dull gray eyes.

“I wish I could prove to you that he isn’t, but I can’t. But if he were here right now he��d be telling you to eat.” He said and I sighed.

“It doesn’t matter.” I whispered.

A week later and I still haven’t slept or eaten. Draco was growing more and more worried with each passing day. It was night and my body was so tired that I ended up passing out on Draco’s bed.

I saw him. Harry. I smiled so bright and rushed over to him. Just as I was about to reach him I was blocked by something. I tried my hardest to push through, but it was no use.

“Harry!” I shouted, but he didn’t look at me.

“Harry! Harry!” I shouted over and over. Nothing. Suddenly the Dark Lord appeared and sent an evil smirk my way.

“You can’t save him.” He said and my eyes widened.

“Harry! Harry look out! Harry please!” I shouted, begging him to do something.

“Avada Kedavra!” Voldemort shouted and the spell hit Harry. He fell to the ground as Voldemort laughed.

I woke up screaming, crying, and sweating. Draco sat up next to me and quickly looked around. He pulled me to him and I continued crying hard. Draco pet my hair and whispered soothing things into my ear.

“Y/N, it’s alright. Everythings alright. You’re alright.” He said trying to calm me.

“H-Harry…” I cried.

“Shhh, I know love, just calm down.” He said. It took awhile, but I finally calmed down. Draco turned me to face him and looked me in my eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“H-He killed him. He killed him and I couldn’t do anything to stop him…” I said.

“Hey, I need you to believe me, Harry is alive.” He said.

“You don’t-”

“I saw him. Remember when Aunt Bellatrix called me down to check someone they brought in?” He asked and I nodded.

“It was Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They took my wand and they’re out there right now.” He said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I whispered.

“I was worried it would make things worse, but I was wrong.” He said.

“He’s alive?” I asked and he nodded. I hugged draco and cried a few tears of joy.

“He’s alive!” I whispered.

Weeks went by and Draco and I returned to Hogwarts. The war was here and we were in the middle of it. Draco went to get his wand back and I wanted to go with him, but he said it was better if I didn’t. After he retrieved his wand we met up and followed everyone outside. There stood Volemort with all the Death Eaters, but my eyes went to Hagrid and who he was holding. Harry Potter.

“Harry Potter is dead!” Voldemort shouted. I wanted to scream out and cry, but Draco grabbed my hand.

“Don’t do anything.” He whispered. I knew he was right. If I did anything he would kill me or even Draco. Draco’s parents called for him and mine called for me. Everyone’s eyes were on us and I didn’t know what to do. Draco pulled me along with him and Voldemort gave us both an awkward hug.

“Well done.” He said and we walked to our parents. I tuned everyone out after that. It wasn’t until I heard Harry’s voice that I tuned back in. I looked over and he was alive! I don’t know how that was possible, but I didn’t care. He was alive. My parents started pulling me along behind the Malfoys, but I escaped their grip.

“Y/N! What are you doing?” My Father asked. Draco looked at me with wide eyes.

“I need to go.” I said to him and he nodded. Draco left his Mother’s grip and walked up to me.

“Then I’ll go with you.” He said and I smiled. He grabbed my hand and the two of us ran back to the action. We fought off a few Death Eaters and Draco made sure to keep me safe. Then it all stopped. I ran out of the castle with Draco following me and there he was.

“Harry!” I shouted and he looked at me.

“Y/N!” He called back and we ran to each other. He pulled me to him and kissed me deeply.

“You’re alright.” I cried and he looked me over.

“What happened to you?” He asked.

“She’s been a mess all year, because of you.” Draco said walking up behind me.

“I’ve been so worried.” I said and he kissed my head.

“There’s no need to worry anymore.” He said and I smiled.

“I swear Potter if you do anything to hurt you, I’ll kill you myself.” Draco said.

“Draco!” I hissed and he just smirked.

“What? I need to watch out for you, clearly.” He said and I gently shoved him.

“I’d never dream of hurting her.” Harry said. Draco nodded and the two of them shook hands. I doubt they would ever be friends, but at least they can be civil to one another.

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @softgamerking @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @in-slytherin-we-trust @accio-rogers

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter x reader #harry x reader #harry x fem!reader #harry potter x fem!reader #draco x best friend!reader #draco malfoy x best friend!reader #harry potter and the half blood prince #harry potter and the deathly hallows part 1 #harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2 #fanfic #request

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haechanniesunflowers · 4 years ago

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Meeting the in-laws in Australia

Author's note(s): man I suck at writing, I have a really great story line in my head and I'm trying my best to write it like a decent quadrilingual (yes I speak 4 languages, no I'm not lying) human being but like I said I suck at it. I'm literally crying and reading such perfect fics written by people here, y'all are doing great. Also I put in some songs from my playlist pls enjoy.

Anyways, this is part 1 in honor of me reaching 500 followers (really appreciate you guys, even if we don't interact at all). Wait for part 2 and others okay bye.

Part 1

"have you packed your toothbrush?" you ask as you slumped on your bed, tired. You stare at the ceiling and tried to put your thoughts in place. Completely ignoring your husband's answer to your question.

"y/n? Hello?" Chris says, bringing you out of your trance.

"huh? Sorry I wasn't listening" you say.

"I said I packed my toothbrush but I can't find my razors and shaving cream" he said.

"where did you put it?"

"if I remembered, I wouldn't be asking you sweetheart" he smiled.

"it's your stuff, how would I know where it's supposed to be" you reply.

"spicy" he comments.

"and you can't handle spicy so stop this" you say, getting up from the bed and walking towards the closest.

He grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to him, staring lovingly into your eyes. You get shy and look away but he makes you face him again. You can see the love and desire in his eyes. Suddenly you feel conscious, he's staring at my imperfections. You weren't always confident about your looks. You didn't like your big eyes that weren't even the same size. You wished that your left eye was as big as the right one, or the right one could've been a bit smaller like the left one. And your nose? oh how you wished yours looked as good as Minho's. And your small pouty lips, why couldn't they be perfect like those kpop idol girls'. A million thoughts were running through your head and you try to free yourself from his grasp.

"look at me" he says, and you do. You look at the most important person in your life. He still gives your butterflies. His little deeds still make your heart flutter.

"what are you thinking about Chris?" your voive is barely above a whisper.

"how did I get so lucky" he swoons making you shy and you hide your face in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around you. In reality, even after dating him for 5 years and getting married recently, you never truly understood what he saw in you. He complimented your looks, your personality, your fashion sense, everything. But you didn't see what he saw. You thought of yourself as an average looking woman who got lucky by bumping into Chris at a party and stubbing his toe and apologizing profusely. And now here you were, almost 6 years later, in your shared apartment, Mrs. Bang.

"I love you so much Chris"

"I love you so much too sweetheart" he says and kisses the top of your head.

You caress his face and say "I'd prefer you not shave anymore, I like facial hair on you"

He grins in response "you know I can't, it won't match my hair and on top of that, I can't take care of it, it's a hassle"

In this moment, you decide to tell him about your worries. He's all ears right now and you can't help but share.

"Chris I'm nervous" you start, "I know I've met your family before but that was when we were dating. I was meeting them as your family back then. This time I'm meeting my in-laws. I don't know where it's coming from but there's this pressure and just thinking about it is making me nervous. What if they don't really like me, I mean we're staying at your parents' place for the first time together. I don't know, I fear they won't like me."

He takes you to the lounge and sits you down on the couch, him next to you.

"hey I completely understand and it's okay to feel this way. Your concern is valid. But I want you to know that my family adores you. Sure they were a bit skeptical when I told them you're from a different country, speak a whole different language and your culture is different, but after they met you, they had nothing but nice things to say about you, I always tell you that. Don't worry, they like you and just be yourself. They'll get to know you more and you will fit right in. Besides, 4 weeks is a lot of time for you to get along with them. Oh and Hannah is the most excited to have you over, she says she got a good vibe the last time and felt a 'sisterly connection' I don't know"

You smile but the worry doesn't fade away.

"okay we need to pack the final things, our flight is in 3 hours Chris, get up"

"I'm going to the convenience store to get my shaving stuff, you need anything?" he says.

"no, I'll get sick if I eat anything before the flight, get me some gum please" you shudder, you had motion sickness so you preferred to skip meals before travelling.

"okay I'll be back in a flash" he says.

You go back to your bedroom to do a final check of the suitcases. You hum songs to yourself to ease the tension, why am I nervous already? Chris is right, I should just be myself and try to fit in. You reassure yourself.

You pull your phone out and start scrolling through tumblr. but what if I don't fit in? what if me being myself isn't good enough and I'm a burden for them for 4 weeks? What if I let Hannah down and don't be the sister she wants me to be? Wait, I need to clear my head. This is just going to get worse if I keep thinking about it.

You play Sun&Moon by NCT 127 to calm yourself down while you wait for Chris to return and pack his final bag. He returns after 20 minutes and you two get ready to leave for the airport. He puts the luggages and bags in the lounge and heads to take a shower before getting dressed. You check your essentials in your purse and make sure the electronics are unplugged and only the main lights of the apartment are on, like your bedroom and the lounge.

You decide to wait on the couch for Chris to finish showering so you can take one yourself. Trying your best to push the tensions aside, you close your eyes and sing a song to yourself, a habit you developed during your time in university.

So I won't hesitate~No more, no more~It cannot wait~I'm yours~There's no need to complicate~Our time is short~This is our fate~I'm yours

You're so focused on your lowkey singing that you don't realize Chris coming out of the bathroom, getting dressed and standing next to the couch, just enjoying you singing.

"hey, I'm out, your can shower now" he says in a low voice, smiling towards you.

You get up and go to the bathroom, ridding yourself of your clothes and standing under the warm water. You wanted to stay like this for some time but time was short so you get going, not really rushing yourself. You come out in a towel to get dressed, singing Fly Me To The Moon to yourself. You walk to your husband, who's patiently waiting for you.

"let's get going" you say.

He takes the luggages to the car waiting outside while you make final checkings. windows locked? check. lights off? check. stove off? check. bed made? check. passports and visas? check. door locked? check.

You both get in the car and head towards the airport. After getting the necessary procedure done everyone starts boarding. You're sat next to your husband and listen to the hostess' announcement.

"Thank you and enjoy the flight"

With that, the plane takes off. You're still nervous about meeting your in-laws but being in a plane scares you more so you're kinda preoccupied.

You look over to Chris to see him sound asleep with headphones on. great, just great.

You decide it would be best to just forget that you are thousands of feet about the ground and listen to some music. (playing LAUV's i met you when I was 18 album). You pray for things to be in favour of you and close your eyes, it's gonna be a long flight so might as well catch up on some sleep.

to be continued...

#stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids au #stray kids scenarios #stray kids reader #stray kids x female reader #stray kids x stay #stray kids x y/n #stray kids bang chan #stray kids bang chan scenarios #stray kids bang chan au #stray kids married au #stray kids husbands #stray kids stories

92 notes · View notes

lexilucacia · 4 years ago

Note

Hi, can you write something where Chase is in a stable and healthy relationship with a girl/guy from outside of work and one day they make him lunch with cute notes inside and house finds it and then mocks him before the team ( original or the rest) and Chase goes I'm happy and that's what matters and then he goes home and proposes because he knows his partner is all he wants in life. Pls pls pls i just want him to be happy.

This prompt really spoke to me, so I’m sooooo sorry to everyone else’s I haven’t written yet, but when inspiration strikes, it just does!

Title: Little notes For Chase

Words: 3031

Tags: Marriage Proposal ×Weddings ×Fluff ×House Being House ×Secret Relationship ×Love Letters ×(or notes really) ×love notes ×thats not a tag ×Love Confessions ×Cross-Posted on Tumblr ×Tumblr Prompt ×Teasing ×Happy Ending ×Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts ×Author Is Sleep Deprived ×I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping ×POV Robert Chase ×

Pairings: Robert Chase/OMC

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378082

Chase smiled again at the little note that his partner had slipped inside his lunch bag. They never failed to make him smile from the ones that had long extravagant messages to the small ‘I love u!’s that often made an appearance on a busy morning. He can’t really remember how it started, he thinks it must have been a late night where Chase was a bit too tired to pack his own bag (and that made him sound like a school kid). So, Felix had packed food for him, sending him off to work with a kiss and a ‘I love you’.

He had seen the yellow postie flutter to the ground, catching in his grip recognising it as one of his partner’s lucky posties with ducks in the corners. The little message had caught him off guard, he’d expected his boyfriend’s weird rambles that he left around the house accidentally packed in his bag, but instead it was a little smiley face and a love heart. The note read, ‘don’t forget that you are loved (especially by me)’ with little hat drawn onto the printed cartoon duck.

He clutched the note to his chest, pinning it up in his locker once his lunch break was over. They didn’t speak of it, but at night, after Chase had thought Felix was asleep he pressed a soft kiss to his nape, and squeezed him a little tighter.

The notes had become a constant in his life, he was used to finding one sitting one behind the toothpaste holder, one in the cabinet next to a new box of his favourite cereal and occasionally in his textbooks when he was studying for requalifications. He still found notes in his lunchbox, his favourite sitting next to a picture of him and his beloved. This one in particular read ‘I know I don’t have to woo you my love, you’d never leave me. But if you did, let’s just say I know an abandoned warehouse, you’re with me for the long haul.’

Chase had almost cried at that one and had wanted to pull out the wedding ring he’d put in the back of his cupboard a few months prior, that very night. Felix’s warped, wacky and weird sense of humour was the reason Chase loved him so much. He nevertheless stopped himself, unable to forgive himself if Felix didn’t get the proposal he deserved, goddamnit.

They’d talked about marriage a lot, but neither had popped the question and Chase wanted to make the day that he did perfect (if Felix didn’t beat him to it at this rate). He was falling more in love with the man and his endearing notes, not that he’d thought it was possible and most days he thought his heart might burst with love. He’d be concerned if he wasn’t a doctor and working at a hospital.

Felix always seemed to know what to say. Reminders of love and worth came on days where he couldn’t his dad’s words out of his head, notes of memories and date nights came when Chase was feeling nostalgic, and his favourite every day the assurance of love. He never knew how to repay Felix, what to do for him, so he settled on small things, things that often would come up in the notes.

He’d notice that Felix was running out of clean socks and the next day all of Felix’s socks would be lined up, folded and washed (even if he’d had a night shift), prompting the drawing of tiny socks on his next note. Or Chase unloading the dishwasher, or putting Felix’s books away when he fell asleep with them on his chest.

Both of them savoured these small things, tokens of their love, their bliss and domesticity. It all seemed to be going well, until one day Chase was careless. His boss House had all but ordered a team lunch, so there was no way out with his dignity (or secrets as it may be).

Lunch started out normal, or normal as it could be with House and his nosey (pining in one case) colleagues, Cameron and Foreman, so he should have expected this. Chase pulled out his lunch bag, ignoring the snickering from House about how gay it looked and set to work digging through to see what food Felix had packed today. Inside it held a vegemite sandwich, a few pieces of chopped up fruit, juice box and a small lamington they’d purchased earlier in the week.

It honestly looked like a school lunch, House teasing him as such as he ignored his definitely flaming cheeks and certainly beet red ears. He was almost (not really) pleased to see the lack of a note perching in his bag, until something yellow fluttered past his eye, reminding him of the first day. Before he could smile goofily at the memory and snatch up his note, a loud sound rang out in the cafeteria.

The yellow disappeared under a familiar stump of wood, that Chase was used to hearing click down the halls of PPTH. The man had surprisingly quick reflexes (only when it embarrassed Chase of course) and the paper made a loud sound as it slid along the floor to House’s foot. The thrum of his heart beat and the scraping of the paper was all he could hear as the cafeteria noise was muffled around him.

The older man picked up the note, capturing the attention of a few tables around them and the new people sitting at their table. House scrunched his eyes at the note, crinkling his nose in distaste at contents and reading it disdainfully.

“3 years i’ve put up with your ugly mug and you still haven’t learnt to fold shirts properly. Date night doesn’t sound so fun now.” The note had a crudely, pencil drawn shirt on the duck, making Chase smile as he looked over House’s shoulder.

Ho honestly didn’t know whether to sob or laugh, settling for a strange mixture of both, smile wide and tears running down his face, so that the rest of the cafeteria was staring at him, if they hadn’t been before.

It was their 3 year anniversary, Felix had remembered the conversation they’d had on their first date, he had never been more in love with the man. He must have zoned back, because when he finally snapped back to snatch the note from a gaping House’s hand, he was being barraged with questions.

“3 years?”

“Why didn’t we know?”

“Who is she?”

“What’s the crying for?”

“How could you have kept this a secret?”

“Is she hot?”

“I thought you slept with everyone?”

“What about the nurses?”

Chase was already getting a headache, not in the mood for this and wanting to sneak off and call Felix, just to rant about his day or blubber about his love, whatever came out first. He put a hand out, effectively silencing everyone. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “What do you want to know?”

Before they could all start shouting again he sighed. “One at a time.”

“Who is she? Why didn’t we know? How long Chase?” Chase had to coach his face into a neutral expression not to blow up at Cameron, the woman had made it no secret of her crush on him.

He simply raised an eyebrow, on an otherwise poker face. “His name is Felix. 3 years and I am under no obligation to share my personal life. There is a reason it’s my private life.” He glared.

Cameron looked shocked, before apologising for being rude and Chase felt a little guilty, but not enough to apologise in front of hundreds of prying eyes. He turned to Foreman who looked like he was bursting for a question.

“He?” Was all Foreman could get out, voice squeaky.

“He is the love of my life. Any more questions?”

“Knew you were too pretty to be straight.” House smirked, taking a bite into the younger man’s sandwich before spitting it out.

“Did you try to poison me?” He shrieked.

It was Chase’s turn to smirk, picking up the offending sandwich and taking a large bite out of the other side. “I hope my boyfriend wasn’t trying to do so, it would have been me.” He exclaimed with mock horror.

He munched on the sandwich ignoring the taunts coming his way from House and walked back to his locker to put away his lunch bag and postie. Unfortunately House, Foreman and Cameron had deigned it necessary to walk him to his locker. After failed attempts to get them to walk away he opened his locker, smiling at the bright yellow notes and pictures of the two of them.

The photos detailed their story, their first date and Chase could almost feel it, smell it, taste it. Their hands damp with nervous sweat, uncomfortable suits and awkward conversation at a fancy Italian restaurant that had ended with them shucking off their ties, undoing their top buttons, kicking off their shoes and running in the rain. There was a cute, but blurry before and after photo of their date that Chase had insisted on printing for their anniversary.

The rest of the images showed dates at DisneyLand, kisses under the mistletoe, birthdays and anniversaries spent together, hell there was even a picture of a half asleep Felix, shirtless and covered by a white sheet, Chase had taken one morning when the sun was just right and he looked like an angel in disguise.

The post it notes took up all his locker door, some half hanging off, some stuck with blue tac, others with sticky tape and the special ones hung on a piece of string with some old pegs. It was truly an altar for his love, his life and he couldn’t be happier. Tucked behind it was an old picture of a shirtless blonde, teen, smiling widely on the beach, arm around a similar looking but younger girl, also grinning. They were holding matching surfboards and both were dripping wet from the surf, clutching ice blocks.

Chase treasured the photo of him and his sister, but Felix took up the most space, like he did in Chase’s life. He’d bounded in and never left, from the day he’d run into him on a train and spilt coffee on him (what a cliche), while running late for one of House’s crazy ideas. Felix had filled the hole in his life that Chase hadn’t realised he’d had, life always filled with colour and joy and weirdness, with love and a warmth he’d never felt before. For once he was content, no matter what he could hear the others muttering behind him.

Foreman didn’t leave him alone the rest of the day, every time they went to do lab samples, nudging him and asking about his sex life. Cameron was more discreet but she too wanted to know everything, it wasn’t unusual behaviour for either, but it had never really been directed at him, making it disconcerting.

House however, was acting much the same, always having teased him about the nurses, only changing the pronouns he used and adding more gay jabs than usual. It didn’t bother Chase for some reason today, maybe it was because he was too excited to see Felix, see what they were for their 3rd year anniversary, Felix had said he’d wanted to plan it this year.

As he was leaving the hospital, he was met with wolf whistles and an eyebrow raise from Cuddy (of course House had gone to her). Wilson also gave him a soft smile as he left, wishing him the next of luck Chase supposed, while House had pelted him with comments about his sex life and ‘taking it up the arse’ as he left. He didn’t care, he was floating on a cloud.

He had to stop himself from speeding home, knowing it was dangerous and Felix would definitely scold him for it, besides he didn’t want to go back to PPTH tonight. After what felt like forever he pulled up outside his house and didn’t bother waiting before he grabbed his bag, rushing up the stairs. What he saw when he entered was not what he expected, but endeared him regardless.

Felix seemed to be juggling six pots, pans and bowls, food spilled on the counter and the faint smell of burning was what greeted him at the door. “Felix, my love?”

He called as he walked in, hanging up his coat and shucking off his shoes, going up behind his boyfriend and wrapping his hands around the smaller man’s waist. “What is this?”

Felix set everything down on the counter, turning around to give Chase a kiss and looking severely put out.

“Robbie,” he whined. “It was supposed to be a surprise, and good, and be fantastic and awesome and it didn’t happen.”

He was pouting and giving Robbie puppy dog eyes and it felt so good to come home and be Robbie, himself, not Chase, like his father. He hummed at his partner, swaying with him and ignoring the half-hearted flails and whines to go back to the cooking.

“How about we get some take out and we’ll clean this up in the morning?” He asked, distracting the man with kisses along his freckles and pulling him impossibly closer, flushed to his hips.

Felix looked like he wanted to argue before moaning into the kiss and pulling Robbie closer. “Okay.”

They made their way over to the couch, Felix lying in Robbie’s arms while they argued over what to watch and whether Hannibal or Will was cuter. All in all it felt domestic, it felt like home. He was warm and comfortable, his brain to mouth filter had gone by now. A few too many drinks and shared thoughts about getting railed by Hannibal ensured it, but even he didn’t think he’d be this stupid.

He opened his mouth and without thinking too much about it he asked, “Will you marry me Felix?”

Felix bolted upright, jostling a sleepy Robbie who had Felix lying on top of him and was running his fingers through the smaller man’s hair, the key word being was.

“Are you serious?” Felix asked, wide eyed. He looked on the verge of tears, but the smile on his face betrayed his emotions in a second.

It took a moment for Chase to realise what he’d said, jerking himself awake. “Yeah.” He finally breathed out, suddenly breaking into a grin.

“Yeah.” Before either of them can stop it, they’re breaking out into hysterical laughter, is this what being in love is like? Chase has never felt anything as close, he wants to feel it for the rest of his life.

“Yeah?” Chase smiles, jumping up and running to their room. He runs back out in record time, narrowly missing the coffee table and getting down on one knee just in time to see Felix sprint out of the kitchen. He opens the box up, showing the reasonable sized rock he’d gotten Felix, hoping to god that he’d like it. Felix took one look at the ring before bursting out into tears.

“Will you be my husband?” Chase asked, smiling sheepishly. “I know it’s not a grand proposal and we just had take out and it’s on our-”

Felix shut him up with a kiss which definitely distracted Chase, then opened his own box. “As long as you’ll be mine.”

The ring Felix has chosen is beautiful, there’s no other way to describe it. It is so perfectly them. On the inside the engraving reads ‘for my silly duck’, the outside a rose gold and encrusted with tiny diamonds. Chase let out a wet sob, sliding Felix’s ring onto his hand. The inscription on his reads ‘for my post-it note hero’ and he cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.

They don’t do much for the rest of the night, as the excitement and nervous energy runs down they sit examining their rings, half watching the tv and both fall asleep on the couch. They both wake up a little too late, but Felix doesn’t have to go into work until midday so he packs Chase’s lunch and sends him off to work with a kiss and a goodbye to his fiance.

God it still made them both giddy. The team noticed as Chase walked in, earlier than usual with a spring in his step, Foreman making a crude comment about getting laid and Cameron just smiling awkwardly, obviously agreeing with Foreman’s assessment but unable to say it.

“So who asked?” House asked, walking in the room and glancing at Chase's inconspicuously hidden hand, that neither fellow had noticed.

“It was a joint effort.” He smiled giddily just thinking of the night before as House made gagging sounds and the other two congratulated him. He got a thump on the back from Foreman, an awkward hug from Cameron, an even more awkward bout of advice from Wilson and a happy congratulations from Cuddy. Word spread around the hospital like wildfire, but he didn’t care.

He was getting married. He had a fiance.

He pulled out his lunch, sitting alone at a table, wanting to see what Felix had packed him. As expected a little note flew out of the bag and landed on the table in front of him, it all seemed to be going his way.

‘To my duckling, my darling fiance’, it read, Chase’s heart skipped a beat at the word, ‘I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.’

He laughed at his boyfriend’s crude sense of humor and big gluteus maximus Felix had given the duck in pencil, placing the note in his locker right next to the photo of their first date. The next photo to go up would be a photo of them at town hall, too excited to wait, along with a photo from their first dance and the traditional cake fight.

He couldn’t be happier, with what Felix called them his ‘Little Notes For Robbie’.

#robert chase x omc #robert chase #house md #proposals #marriage #fluff #everything is beautiful #fanfic #house fanfic #love letters #dumb sense of humour #wrote this instead of sleeping #lexi's fanfic #lexi's writing #greg house

16 notes · View notes

bunnyywritings · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! I'm glad to have found your blog!😊 can I ask for 3 and 5 from the prompt list with Shoto Todoroki pls? Todoroki and reader are best friends (secretly with feelings for each other)? And could it be aged up! to college age please if that's okay? (oh, and one last thing, sorry for asking so much👉👈 if possible without spoilers from the manga or heroes rising movie pls? I still need to catch up on those) thank u so much💕💕 and i'm sorry for being annoying with so many questions

it’s about time

AgedUp!Shoto Todoroki x gn!reader

prompts #3 “I’ve got you.” & #5 “I’ll always be here.”

[a/n: lmao I have absolutely no good reason for this gif but Hello there my love! I’m glad you find my blog too 🥺 no need to apologize, you weren’t being annoying at all❣️I really enjoyed writing this one. I avoided any spoilers, there’s mention of the USJ attack but that was season one so....yeah. Thank you so much for requesting✨ feel free to send in another any time! enjoy! -yours truly, bunnyy -`ღ´- ps. the prompts are in bold, there are mentions of alcohol and it gets a bit suggestive at the end 🥵]

Sendai Tech was the top university for heroes and those in hero support. Getting into uni was effortless. Graduating at the top of your class at UA was to thank for that. A lot of class 1-A went on to Sendai and some went straight into the hero business. You had been attending Sendai and working part-time patrols at Bakugou’s hero agency, he had risen in the ranks quite quickly, taking a spot in the top 5. Todoroki had also been working part-time patrols at Midoriya’s agency, refusing his father’s invitation for full time work. The both of you wanted to start an agency together so you had enrolled in the business course they offered at Sendai.

Why did Todoroki want to start an agency with you, you might ask? Well, the answer was quite simple yet still perplexing to some people. You were his best friend. Though neither of you cared to admit that the title ��best friend’ wasn’t enough, you both wanted more than that but the fear of ruining a perfectly good friendship was strong. You had told yourself multiple times, you’d rather have him as a friend than not at all. And the possibility that admitting your feelings and not having them returned was painful.

You first met him when you were little. You heard someone crying as you made you way passed the towering fence that surrounded his home. You had been returning from playing with some of the neighborhood kids and you had offered him half your cookie. You learned his name and why he was sad. Needless to say, your hate for Endeavor started early on. You had never seen his face but you made your way to the fence every day after school to share your snacks and stories about your day with the sad boy but one day, he didn’t show up. One day turned into two, and three until you also decided to stop showing up. I wasn’t until your first day at UA did you find out what he looked like. He surprisingly remembered you and profusely apologized for suddenly disappearing and you picked up where you left off.

Natsuo and Fuyumi knew about this and would be adamant about asking their little brother when he’d finally admit his feelings to you during their weekly sibling dinners only to roll their eyes when he said, ‘She sees me as a friend and nothing more. I don’t really plan on risking our friendship with a stupid lapse of judgment.’

It was the same for Bakugou and Eijiro when you’d go get drinks with them on Friday nights. They’ve known about your crush since high school. Heck, everyone did. And they were getting tired of hearing your drunken pining about the icy-hot boy.

“Look idiot, stop crying over how much you love him...you’re ruining the vibe.” Bakugou grumbled as you pouted at him.

“There’s no need to be rude, you angry explosion freak. I will cry over a boy for as long as I want.” You slurred, taking a bite of a chicken wing.

“You wouldn’t need to cry over one if you just told him how you feel. It’s that simple.” He leaned back against the couch, lazily taking a sip of his beer. Kirishima chuckled at the deja vu that suddenly hit him.

Every Friday you’d go over to their shared apartment for beers and pizza. Usually to relax after a stressful week of school and work, and without fail, you and Bakugou would have the exact same conversation. It was like clockwork. Exactly after two beers and three or four slices of pizza later, you’d confess your love for Shoto Todoroki before turning gloomy and pouting that he’d never love you the same way. You’d usually pout while eating a chicken wing or two. This never failed to amuse the red head. No matter how much Bakugou complained, he had a soft spot for you. During your days at UA, Mina and Denki had taken it upon themselves to let you into the Baku-squad after passing the 𝓋𝒾𝒷𝑒 𝒸𝒽��𝒸𝓀. Since then, Bakugou had complained and complained but once he saw that you were powerful enough to hold your own during the USJ attack, he deemed you worthy of his respect. Thus meaning you had earned his friendship as well. Many of their classmates had gotten together after graduation, even Bakugou admitted that he had feelings for the spiky red head sitting next to him.

“Come on (y/n), you should tell him. I think you’d be surprised with how silly you’re being.” Kirishima grinned his usual happy go-lucky grin.

“Exactly! You’re not a wimp, are you? Even that idiot Deku confessed to chubby cheeks already! Are you trying to tell me that you’re wimpier than broccoli head!?”

“Maybe I am a wimp.” You stick your tongue out childishly at the angry blonde.

“I don’t remember hiring a wimp.”

“Well you did, so deal with it.” You frowned as you took a greedy sip of the beer you were nursing.

After a couple of hours later, you were drunk. Very, very drunk. And it wasn’t too pretty. You were an emotional drunk, with only two available emotions. Sad and angry. Both Bakugo and Kirishima were glad it seemed you were the former, this time around. Snuggling as you settled onto their couch.

“Uh Uh. Nope!” Bakugou tutted. “You are not staying the night.”

“But Bakubro!” You whined, hugging a pillow cushion to your chest. “You know who is in my dorm.” You looked around cautiously. “Shoto is in there.” You whispered as if it were the biggest secret in the planet.

“That’s what you get for requesting him as a dorm mate. Now come on.” He lifted you up and tossed you over his shoulder. “You’re lucky I’m switching my afternoon patrol with your morning one. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you patrol hungover.” He grabbed your bag and made his way to the door. “Eiji, give me my wallet. I’m getting her a cab.”

“You’re not gonna leave her by herself, are you?”

“Of course not.” He hissed, “What kind of idiot do you take me for? Why the hell would I leave her alone like this.” He pointed at your slouched form for emphasis.

Once out in the chilly evening, he called a cab. Thankful that there were still some running at 1am. He grabbed your phone and found Shoto’s contact, holding the phone to his ear with one hand and holding your head up with the others as he huffed in annoyance when the line kept ringing and ringing before it finally stopped.

“H-hello? (Y/n)?” The groggy voice on the other end spoke first.

“I’m on my way to drop off your idiot, half and half bastard. You better be outside to help them up to your dorm.” And he hung up. Confused, Todoroki got out of bed and slipped on a sweater and some sneakers before heading down to the lobby. Eyes squinted with discomfort at the sudden bright lights of the hallway. He stepped outside and stood at the curb. He was slightly concerned, he knew that Bakugou and Kirishima wouldn’t let anything happen to you but why did he need to help you? Did you get hurt? His thoughts were quelled when a cab pulled in right in front of him. Bakugou had stepped out first, helping you out after him and grumbling at the driver to wait.

“She drank too much. Make sure she doesn’t choke on her own vomit or something.”

“Thanks Bakugou.” He mumbled as he steadied you on your feet.

“Bye Bakubro~!” You waved cheerily.

“Yeah whatever. I expect you to be at the agency at 1pm sharp. Get some rest.”

“Yes sir!” You exaggerated a salute as he rolled his eyes and got back into the cab. Todoroki’s eyes widened when you slung your arms around his neck and cuddled into him.

“You’re so warm Shoto.” The way you had basically purred his name made his cheeks flush a deep red.

“R-right.” He cleared his throat. “Let’s get you inside.” You decided to wrap your legs around his waist, finding great comfort in being in his arms. He obliged and hooked his hands under your thighs to make sure you wouldn’t fall and as he made his way back inside, he tried to ignore the feeling of your plush thighs against his palms. Locking the door to your shared dorm behind him, he made his way to your room. He placed you gently on your bed, kneeling down to unlace your shoes and pull them off your feet.

“You’re so gentle, Sho...” you hummed sleepily, eyes closed with a cute grin on your lips. He left your comment unanswered seeing that he’d be a stuttering mess if he had. He made his way over to the head of the bed and combed your hair back.

“Sweet dreams, (y/n).” He kissed a feather soft kiss on your forehead. He chuckled when you made a soft grunt of disapproval when his warmth left you.

“Sho...don’t leave me.” You whimpered, eyes slowly opening as they shone with tears. “Don’t go.” He frowned and couldn’t help but think that there was an underlying fear with that statement, other than just wanting to cuddle. So, he peeled off his hoodie and pulled back the covers and slid in next to you. In an instant, you clutched onto him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he nudged your chin with his knuckle, making you look right into those beautiful bicolored eyes. You tears had started to slide down your pink cheeks.

“I don’t want you to leave me, Shoto.”

“Why would I leave you?” He was confused, he knew this could just be an alcohol induced insecurity but he knew you enough to know that the fear in your eyes was genuine.

“Because I-“ you paused, unsure if now was the time. Sighing as the liquid courage urged you to continue. “Because I like you. More than I should, more than a best friend should. But I can’t help it and I don’t want to ruin what we already have by making you uncomfortable.”

“Why would I be uncomfortable?” His voice was small but you heard it as he ran his thumb softly over your cheekbone.

“Because you don’t feel the same.” He remained quiet. He was bewildered, you had feelings for him too. He couldn’t believe it. However, you had taken his stunned silence in a negative way and started to cry even more.

“Shh.” He cooed as he pulled you into his chest. “I’ve got you, don’t worry. I’ve got you.” He decided to leave this conversation for the morning when you’d actually remember. There you two had laid for the rest of the early morning. He was always reminded that he slept better with you in his arms. There were a bunch of things that he did much better with you there. And he couldn’t wait to tell you.

You were confused but pleased when you were met with the sight and feeling of Todoroki’s bare chest. He was always so warm. Not to mention how muscular he was. You definitely didn’t mind when he’d walk around the dorm shirtless right after a shower. The feeling of bile starting to make its way up your throat, you ripped yourself from his arms and ran to the bathroom. The sudden movement startled him awake and when he heard the retching noise come from the bathroom, he was quick to get in his feet and make his way to you. Pulling your hair from your face and rubbing four back soothingly as you expelled the contents of your stomach. Once you finished, you groaned. Staying in your position hunched over the toilet bowl just in case.

“Why don’t you take a shower. I’ll make you some breakfast.” He suggested softly as he helped you up. Embarrassed, you nodded quietly, watching as he shut the door behind him. Not bothering to lock it, you stripped and hopped in the shower. While you where in there, you tried to make sense of anything that happened the night before but all you could remember was being at Bakugou’s place, then a cab, then with Shoto and—The memory of the words you had exchanged swept through your mind and you groaned. Maybe he wouldn’t remember...right?

The cool water of the shower seemed to have soothed your hangover a bit as you made your way to your room and pulled on some sweats, grabbing Shoto’s hoodie from the ground and pulling that on as well. The smell of fresh coffee called you to the little kitchenette. Grabbing a mug gratefully, you leaned against the counter and took a sip of the dark liquid.

“So...do you remember anything from last night?” He asked tentatively, you gasped and inhaled some of the coffee. You coughed, putting the mug down and cleared your throat.

“I do.” You nodded slowly, a pink blush crawling up your neck. “And I understand if you want to go, sorry if-“

“Who said anything about going anywhere.” He cut you off, there was a sly smile playing on his lips. “I never said I didn’t feel the same way.”

“...”

“What?” He seemed amused at your confusion. “Wait, are you serious?” He approached you. His arms trapping you against the counter.

“I think—no. I know.” He looked down into your eyes, one hand coming up to caress your jaw. “I love you, (y/n). I have for a long time.” His confession made you feel warm inside, your heart swelling in happiness.

“I love you too, Sho.” Your lips met in a sweet kiss, lips moving together to convey all the pent up emotions you were feeling. You smiled into it as it got a bit more passionate. Your hands coming up to run through his hair.

Breathlessly, you pulled away.

“You never need to worry about me leaving. I’ll always be here.” He explained softly, nuzzling your nose with his.

“Really?” You asked happily.!

“Mhmm, you’re mine.” And with that, his lips met your hungrily. Lifting you up on the counter, and standing in between your legs. His hands gripped your hips as he began to trail kisses down your neck. Nibbling and tugging at the skin with his teeth. “And I’m gonna show you just how long I’ve waited.” His voice was deep with lust. Tugging down the bottoms you just changed into, he sunk to his knees in between your thighs.

Needless to say, he made you his. And you had no complaints.

You showed up to the Ground Zero Agency 5 minutes late.

“Oi! I thought I said to not be late!” Bakugou shouted as you put your bag in your locker.

“Sorry, I uh got preoccupied with something.” You stuttered as you avoided his eye line as you turned to face him. He smirked when he saw the bruised skin on your neck, your hero suit barely covering them.

“Eijiro!” He chuckled wildly. “You owe me $30!” Footsteps rushed into the room and there stood the red head with wide eyes.

“Finally!” He shouted. Pulling out his wallet and giving Bakugou the money. “I’m not even mad.” Grinning, he gave you a sly look. “It was about time.”

#shoto todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki oneshot #prompt list #request #anon ask

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youwerenevermeanttofeelalone · 5 years ago

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Fights & Hot Chocolate | Dick Grayson

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Request: can I please request a Dick Grayson x ps! Reader where they fight because she’s part of the teen titans and he doesn’t like the fact that she’s always the first one to fight, and steps in when someone else is in danger so she ends up really injured and he tells her that she can’t go on missions ? Can it be so angsty but then super cutesy and happy at the end?? Pls and ty!!

Warnings: mentions of injuries, light angst, mentions of fights, overprotective!Dick, language maybe? That’s always a given with me, light fluff, mentions of hot chocolate.

A/N: for the love of me I can’t write action so I shifted a few things in the request for this to come out as decent.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

You walked out on him that morning, tired of the same excuse he gave you before every mission. When teenagers fantasize with a protective boyfriend they never think about said boyfriend not letting them do their job, no one fantasizes with their partner making them feel so small actually.

It was hypocritical, yelling at you for putting yourself in danger when he did that every night. Dick was great in every other regard, but when it came to vigilantism he was biased and it was time for him to see it. You feared that fighting so often would damage the relationship, but giving in wasn’t an option because it simply wasn’t fair for you to quit being a Titan— not after how hard it had been for you to believe in yourself, to believe that you were as capable an athletic as the others no matter your weight and complexion.

His orders were harsher when directed at you that day, drier in contrast to the way the spoke to the others. You had already expected it, Dick wasn’t always good at keeping his anger at bay and although he was getting better the pressure of being the leader of a team took a toll on him.

Everything was going smoothly until it didn’t. Gar was too slow and your instincts kicked in. Pushing your friend aside, you yelped as soon as the blade pierced your skin.

Dick’s worry increased as the minutes passed. He was told he had to be patient, not one of his qualities if anyone asked him— or you, or Alfred, or Bruce— and one that even if he had would fail him in such a situation. He should’ve known you would be your stubborn self and put yourself in danger, and he shouldn’t have yelled at you.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

White light blinded you, a pang on your right side making you wince as you tried to adjust to the uncomfortable surface you were laying on and the harsh lighting.

Alfred was by your side in an instant, making sure your vital signs were okay. You weakly smiled at him as a thank you which relieved him. He helped you get comfortable on the bed, careful to not hurt you.

“How’s everyone else?” you struggled to ask.

“They’re more than fine, Ms. (Y/N). You’re the only injured one.” Great, just another reason for Dick to yell at you as soon as he saw you.

You didn’t expect your boyfriend to enter the room the moment Alfred left. The silence between you was as uncomfortable as awkward— he clearly wanted to say something, so you waited for a comment that never came.

Dick couldn’t stop staring or find the appropriate thing to say for that matter. He had known you would be okay, but what if you wouldn’t? What if he hadn’t taken you to Alfred on time? What if the injury had been more critical?

He skipped patrol that night to stay with you in case you needed anything. Your silence hurt him, he wanted to hear your voice, to know you were okay by your own words. Fighting with you always bummed him, and the reason behind said fights always being the same wasn’t comforting at all. He didn’t think it was fair for you to worry him as much as you did because you couldn’t help but putting other people before you— he loved that about you because of how kind and caring you were but he hated it because he didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.

Dick understood, however, that either of you saying something would end in another fight. Not wanting to upset you, he just made you company until you fell asleep.

❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎・・・・・❖︎

Dark strands of hair were such a familiar sight to you. Through your fingers, on your chest or stomach, between your legs, from behind the mirror when Dick fixed his hair as you did your makeup... your favorite one was when you’d get home and he’d be on the couch, laying on his side with a hand under his cheek and his untamed hair let you know he had been tossing on the couch like he often did when he was watching tv or playing video games before falling asleep.

The one you were seeing was close to that, but his neck was stiff and his body curled up in what seemed an attempt to fit perfectly in the armchair. He stirred awake no long after, you hoped it wasn’t because of the intensity of your gaze.

Groggily, he asked, “how are you feeling?”

“Sore,” you answered truthfully.

He bolted up the chair the moment you made a motion to change your position.

You lifted a hand, “I can do it on my own.”

Dick ignored your stubbornness and held you carefully with his palm flat on your back. You groaned as you tried to get comfortable, annoyed by his gesture to no end. His exasperated sigh made you roll your eyes, maddening you even more.

“Can you stop acting like a brat for a moment?”

“I wouldn’t act like a brat if you didn’t make me feel so guilty, Richard!” You snapped.

He huffed, crossing his arms. Opening his mouth only to clamp it shut, Dick turned around and sat back down, seemingly deciding to keep quiet. Probably for the best.

The recovering days were nightmarish. Your boyfriend didn’t really speak to you but would be overprotective at every moment. Dick had gone to the extent of leaving you under his family’s care, his siblings would take turns with Alfred to come and visit you, they’d bring food and movies to watch so they could distract you.

Tired of it all, you waited up for him one night. You felt fine, you weren’t in pain anymore, and you had started to do lightweight chores.

Dick threw his duffle-bag carelessly to the floor upon hearing noises in the kitchen. To his horror, you were making what looked like hot chocolate.

“Lemme do it,” he said from behind you, his warm palm resting lightly on your lower back as if to steady you.

You merely shook your head, your attention never moving away from the saucepan. “Do you want a cup?” you asked softly, hoping you could avoid another fight.

He didn’t answer you. Dick continued to steady you until the beverage was ready. Surprised, you poured the hot mixture into the two mugs you had ready. He removed his hand from your backside to pick both mugs, carrying them to the table.

Smirking to yourself, you turned the hob off. His eyes didn’t leave your form, watching every move you made toward the table. Dick had already pulled a chair out for you which you took, nodding as a thank you.

“You feeling better?” You nodded to answer his question. “Alfred said you’ll be good as new in a couple of weeks.”

“That’s a stretch,” you blurted. Your expectations were to be ready by next week.

He took a gulp of hot chocolate to restrain himself. He had promised he’d try, although it hadn’t gone well the first time he could try some more. “It’s a safety precaution,” he opted for explaining, softly putting the mug on the table.

Wrapping your fingers around your mug, you unconsciously sighed as the heat from the ceramic warmed your palms. “Are you still mad at me?”

“I don’t know,” he answered bluntly. “I don’t want to,” his clarification came quickly, “you scared the shit out of me.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

Dick didn’t doubt it. In fact, one of the few things he was sure in life was that you would never intentionally hurt him. He worried his fear of losing you would make you think he didn’t view you as capable— words weren’t enough to tell you how proud he was of you. And he was sure it was mutual.

“You need to be more careful,” he repeated what he said every time you got injured.

Placing the mug down, you wiped the chocolate mustache off with a napkin as you nodded. “You need to not get mad at me for doing my job, though.”

Dick nodded back, extending his hand across the table to place on top of yours. You marveled at how warm his palms were all the time, how their weight was always so comforting. Like him.

“Am I forgiven?” he inquired, standing up to take the seat next to yours instead of the one in front of you.

Chuckling, you feigned pondering. “I suppose you are,” you teased. The relief of the tension between you finally coming to an end increasing as he turned his hand to intertwine his fingers with yours.

“Thank God,” he exclaimed, leaning to kiss the side of your head. “I hate sleeping without you.”

“That makes two of us.” You leaned closer to him too, placing your head on his shoulder. You knew better than trying to get too touchy at that moment, he’d scold you and get protective, after all.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x plus size reader #plus size fanfiction #plus size reader #robin x reader #robin x plus size reader #nightwing x reader #nightwing x plus size reader dick grayson #nightwing #robin #dc x plus size reader #dc x reader #batfam x plus size reader #batfam x reader

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ddae208e · 5 years ago

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Maybe (goodbyes are in order) I Renjun x Reader, Yangyang x Reader, ft. Haechan

Maybe everyone has a soulmate – maybe when your soulmate dies, your memories of that soulmate are erased – and maybe then you get assigned a new soulmate.

And maybe in this scenario, your dead soulmate loves you too much to let you go, and therefore on his quest to seek your love (and make sure it stays his) maybe he gets a little help from a fallen angel.

Word count: 3k Angst, ghost!au, demon!au, Warning: death, mention of death

Inspired by “The Good Place” (Only watched 2 seasons so pls don’t spoil!!) and Desiderium by Jaeminhours (one of my favourite fics!!)

After a long and dreadful week of school, the weekend awaits you. What better way to start your supposed-to-be stress-free weekend, than by getting caught in the rain with no cover of any kind and in the very dark and very lonely park? The rain continues falling and your ears are filled with nothing but the sounds of pitter-patter and the boisterous winds. Maybe you should have taken the bus home instead of walking – but no way to change the past so you must live in the present. You finally decide to seek shelter while waiting for the worst of the storm to be over, then you can run home.

As you stand under the roof of the bus stop, you hear someone calling out your name. At the same time you receive a message. It is your mother – Honey, it seems you have a new soulmate. We got the letter earlier but wanted to surprise you once you got home. He could not wait though, so he has run out to get you! His name is Yangyang. He seems lovely :)

You chuckle at your phone, quickly sending your mother a heart emoji before putting your phone back in your pocket and then turning around, searching for the source of sound. “Oh, hi!” A boy a few inches taller than you almost runs into you but steadies himself in time. “So clumsy, sorry about that!” His sweet laughter puts a smile on your face. “Ah yeah, it’s nothing. Hey, uh, are you Yangyang?” You smile shyly at him. “Huh?” He looks at you with big puppy eyes. “Ooooooh, your mother texted you already? I wanted to surprise you, saying I would like, kidnap you, and then slowly make you fall in love with me, stockholm syndrome you know?” He starts laughing loudly and even though he is already one of the weirdest people you have met – who tells their soulmate, who they have only just met, that they planned to kidnap them? – you can only stare at him as if he has stars in his eyes.

You feel the calmest when Yangyang pats and traces his warm hand across your back. It always makes you feel super dreamy and you wish for the moment never to end. “You’re my person,” you hear Yangyang whisper softly. You look at him and smile saying “and you’re mine.”

“Stupid. Annoying. Loud. Oblivious. Better off without him,” you ramble on and on as you walk through the same exact park in which you met this newfound problem of yours. It has been two years since you met Yangyang, and he is indeed the sweetest soulmate you have ever had – he is also the only one I remember, you think – yet this time, it feels as if maybe you have been assigned a wrong soulmate. Not wanting to think more of him and the reason for your unanticipated anger, you walk along the blooming lilac paths as you feel a pang of deja vu. “They’re lovely, aren’t they?” A soft voice asks and you turn around quickly. In front of you stands a dull-looking boy. The wind has swept his hair in every direction all at once, his clothes look old, dirty and worn-out as well as his face looks extremely tired based on the bags under his eyes. “Yeah, they are.” You say as you start to turn around again. You do not want to be mean or judgemental, but it is dark and night and you are all alone in the park with this guy. “Do you know what it means?” He asks another question. Taking in a deep breath, you turn around again. You shake your head and look at the ground. He is not wearing any shoes. “Lilacs are a common flower, yet I do not think a lot of people truly know the meaning behind them. I used to gift these flowers to my soulmate every time I’d see her. I can’t do that anymore, because I never see her.” He smiles sadly and looks down too. Then he bends down and picks a couple of the lilacs. “Youthful innocence. First love.” He takes small steps towards you, making sure not to scare you off. You slowly nod at him, letting him know it was okay. As he stands directly in front of you, he hands you the flowers. You do hesitate for a minute, but then you do take the flowers. But it feels weird. You were so sure you would touch his hand when he handed over the flowers, but you did not actually feel anything. Just a quick whoosh as his hand fell down next to his side again. There is disappointment in his eyes, yet you have no idea why. Maybe because he misses his soulmate? “Sorry, I’ll… I’ll see you around.” He says and then he is gone all at once. He just turned around and disappeared into thin air. “It’s not even foggy out..” You tell yourself as you quietly walk back home, the lilacs still in your grasp.

Immense agony. Immense agony is all that Renjun can feel. “Now you listen to me, Renjun,” says a light voice. Renjun strains his eyes, trying to focus in the dimly lit room. “Where and who are you?” Renjun asks without expecting an answer. “Nevermind that, only mind the fact that I can help you make that Yangyang dude either disappear or be put in misery. You decide.” Renjun’s facial expression changes as he furrows his brows and slightly open his mouth to ask another question – but the voice of the unknown beats him to it. “I only want to be of assistance. I will find him and bring him to you, and then you get to do all the action. I’m fine with just watching.” Renjun hears a snicker. “It won’t make you feel any better, you’ll still be in all of this unexplainable pain, but at least you will know that he won’t get the pleasure of being with your soulmate.” This is what sends Renjun over the edge. “Do it.”

Before Renjun’s vision goes dark once again, he hears another vile-tainted whisper, yet he decides to ignore it. Maybe he should have taken it as a warning sign. “Quid pro quo.”

You curse under your breath as the cold winter-air hits your soft skin. The sun set a couple hours ago, yet you were too stubborn to stay home and simply go buy snacks tomorrow. So here you are, tightly clutching bags of snacks close to your chest, walking with a fast pace through the dark of the night.

On your way, a dilemma occurs: do you choose the long but illuminated path, or the very dark path surrounded by overgrown trees and bushes? You choose the lesser-wise option: the latter. The leaves are rustling beneath your feet and above your head, and you hear the crushing of branches even though you are one hundred percent sure that you only step on small pebbles from time to time. A few minutes pass, and you still cannot shake the thought that you are being followed – so you quickly turn around, and once you see the black silhouette standing right in front of you, you gasp loudly, throwing your snacks at the person before sprinting off. While running, you look back for one second and as soon as you turn your gaze back in front of you, you run into something. You run into someone. You slowly turn your eyes upward to see the face of the person – a male, you presume. “Hey there, be careful. Wouldn’t want you getting hurt now,” says the guy lowly. He places his hands on your shoulders and rubs them gently. “Who are you?” You stutter. The man in all black clothing chuckles, turning his head slightly to the left, letting the moon shine on his face. His eyes are red. “Are you wearing contacts?” You ask naively, to which he frowns. “No. Why would I be wearing contacts?” You shrug and smile slightly. “Well, thanks for looking out for me. I’ll just be on my very way,” you start as you shake off his hands, yet as you try to step away, you simply cannot. Your legs will not move. It feels as if you are paralyzed. “Not so fast, honey.” He says smugly. “My friend needs to tell you something… Of the seven sins I am envy, but you should call me Haechan.” He snaps his fingers and your surroundings change.

In front of you stands Renjun. “So sorry about that, I just needed to speak to you and Haechan told me he could easily get you. Also, I bought you some new snacks. The other ones got dirty and I saw some animals ripping the bags and eating it, so yeah…” He walks toward you and you grab the snacks. “Could I eat them now? As you speak?” You ask mellowly, retrieving a smile accompanied by a small blush from Renjun. He nods. “Um, not sure how to start… Alright, well, cut to the chase, we used to be soulmates.” You choke on your chips. He hurries next to you to pat your back, “are you okay?” You can hear the worry in Renjun’s voice. You nod and gesture for him to continue. “I’m a ghost. I’m dead. I- don’t want to get into the specifics, but I died a while ago and only realized a couple weeks ago.” You look dumbfoundedly at him. When did he realize? How? “When I handed you the lilacs.” He replies as if he had read your mind. “I’m not sure why I’m telling you this – or actually I am. I was hoping you could be mine again, as fate had decided, but I’m not too sure now, seeing as you have already been assigned… Yangyang.” As the name rolls off his tongue, Renjun’s nose scrunches, his eyes turn a slightly darker brown and he frowns. “All I want is for you to be happy, but I would rather it be with me than him.” You have no idea what to say. “Is this a prank?” You ask quietly, putting away your snacks. Renjun shakes his head and sighs deeply. “Chan?” He calls out and Haechan appears in an instance. “Take her back,” Renjun says and Haechan nods with a smirk sitting on his lips. “I love you, but I’m sensing you’d rather be with him than with me.” The hint of sadness in Renjun’s voice makes you want to cry. You stand up and run toward him with open arms, but all that happens is that you run right through him. You turn around to look at him, and it seems that he is straining his eyes as to not start crying. “Haechan,” Renjun calls and you hear a snapping of fingers.

“Yang?” You call out to a seemingly empty house. “Yes, baby? In here!” Yangyang’s softly distant voice reaches your ears and you hurry toward your bedroom. Yangyang lies on his back while looking up at the ceiling. He seems to be deep in thought, yet as soon as he hears your footsteps approaching, he uses his elbows to push his way up so that he can look at you. He smiles so sweetly at you, and you think about just dropping the whole thing and letting him stay in this happy-peace-of-mind. You decide against it, though. There is a reason that the two of you are soulmates, and if it is not about honesty, then what on earth could it be about? So you tell him about your encounter with Renjun, apparently an earlier soulmate of yours. “We talked for a while, mostly him though, and then I wanted to touch him – hug him, just to let him feel safe or something, you know? But I fell right through him, so I guess he really is a ghost. He must really be dead.” No matter how hard you try, you simply cannot decode Yangyang’s expression. You fear the worst, but luckily you are wrong. “Hey, honey, it’s okay. I’m not mad.” He coos as he softly pushes some of your hair behind your ear. “He knew your name, a lot of facts about you, your whole life story basically. I honestly believe he was your soulmate once. But that is all he ever was and ever will be. An ex-soulmate. I guess that if you could actually touch him, maybe it could have been different. Like, if you got those feelings for him back, I would not blame you. He was your soulmate before me, and it sounds like he was so for a long time, maybe even your first and only soulmate – until me, of course. Just know that I will stand by you no matter what. Okay?” He pecks your lips and stares at you with a small smile playing on his lips and nothing but adoration in his eyes. “Do you think any of your soulmates are dead? Have you had any before me?” Yangyang’s smile slowly disappears. Maybe you were not supposed to ask him that. Maybe he had also been contacted by a former soulmate, whom he still loves to this day. Maybe you should not have told Yangyang about Renjun. Maybe you should have just forced yourself to believe that Renjun played some really well-thought-out prank on you. Maybe you should have just ignored Renjun. Acted like you did not see him. That should not have been hard, for no one else seemed to be able to see him. “As far as I know, I do not know about any former soulmates. No one has told me anything, at least.” You mumble a quick “sorry I asked” before wrapping your arms around Yangyang and hold him close. Trying to cheer him up since you are the cause of his sudden sad face. He snuggles further into your embrace and mumbles something you do not clearly hear. All you know is that you hear the word “love” and it brings a smile onto your face.

As the sun starts to set, both you and Yangyang start to doze off on top of your soft and super comfortable king-sized bed. Yanyang’s arms are lazily wrapped around your waist with your head lying on his chest. A very serene moment for the both of you. You both wishing it would last forever. Spoiler alert: it does not.

As soon as your eyes shut along with Yangyang’s, it feels as if the two of you enter an endless void. It is scorchingly hot in there, and since you for some reason are barefoot, it only makes it worse for it feels as if you are stepping on a path of fire. You wince as Yangyang’s hand holds yours – “too hot, yeah, sorry,” he says with an awkward smile as he rubs his neck. A deep roar can be heard, and you jump, grabbing Yangyang’s hand instinctively. He snickers at this, calling you a hypocrite. “So when I hold your hand, it is a sin, yet when you feel like holding mine, it is an act of love?” He laughs at your cutesy pout. Then he shakes his head and points at something behind you. Actually not at something, but rather someone. Just as you are about to turn around, you are flying through the room, being pushed backwards and away from your soulmate. A shiver runs down your spine as a somewhat acquainted voice whispers into your ear: “I want you back, and I want you all to myself.” Then you wake up. Looking around frantically, you shake Yangyang’s body, trying to wake him up. He does not budge. “Yang? Yangyang!” Panic starts to arise in your voice and breathing also gets harder. Why is he not waking up?

“I’ll go easy on you, okay?” Renjun mutters as he tightens his grip on Yangyang’s neck. “Maybe I could suffocate you with an article of your soulmates clothing?” Renjun states rather than asks. Yangyang whimpers and lets out cries as he begs for his life. “Too feeble to save yourself. How would you ever be able to save your soulmate, huh?” Renjun feels absolutely no remorse. He is wrapped in feelings of despair and wrath as he tortues the innocent boy. “Too gullible. Easily hoaxed into becoming a demon for eternity. My new best friend. Wrath really did choose you, huh?” Haechan says, imitating Renjun’s last word as a ghost.

“What do you mean you will be meeting your new soulmate today, ? I already have a soulmate! His name is Renjun and I demand to see him right this instant!” Your parents are wearing very worried facial expressions, but you do not understand why. It seems that when Yangyang died, not only were your memories of him erased, but so were the memories and knowledge of Renjun’s death. Maybe you even regained the memories of the two of you before his death, and now that is the reasoning behind your sudden madness and outburst. A mere whisper leaves your mother’s lips. “Darling, Renjun- … He passed away.” Your father sighs as he pats your mother’s back, slightly reassuring her that everything will turn out fine. Just as you are about to talk back to your mother, you hear a voice inside your head. “I cannot go back, Haechan, and you know it!” The voice belongs to Renjun, yet it sounds different than his usual laid-back tone. He sounds frantic. You clutch your head as you fall to the floor and your parents hurry to your side. “I love her. I do. But the… The wrath got the best of me. It is unforgivable. I killed her soulmate because I wanted to be her only. He didn’t deserve her. But neither do I anymore.” You regain your strength and stand back up, starting to pace and roam around the room. The curiosity is killing you. You want to ask your parents about your old soulmate – how did he die? – but you choose not to. “Well, let’s meet my new soulmate, then.”

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nunukibebe · 5 years ago

Text

Solid

WARNING: swear words and alcoholic beverages, oh my!

Jooheon/Reader

Yes! My first Monsta X story... Thing. (Idk what you call these). I love them as much as I love Ateez, so I had to share this with y'all. Just something cute and fluffy while I'm sicker than a dog and hacking up a lung.

For @one-hunnit

-_-_-_-_-

8:57 PM: "Joojoo, can I crash at your place tonight pls?"

9:22 PM: " yaeh ill be in l8tr"

9:30 PM: "Same code?"

10:12 PM: "duh."

10:15 PM: "Brat."

10:48 PM: "loser."

SIX HOURS LATER

Staring in silence as your friend stumbled into his apartment, not bothering to hide the huge yawn that split his face in two, you held a hand to your mouth to keep from laughing out loud as he dropped his duffel bag on the floor. Shoulders drooping as he let out a sigh, he sagged slightly before shaking his head and straightening up.

Not for the first time, you could see the circles under his eyes and the pinched look to his mouth that he hid well. Hand resting on your upturned knee, TV remote dangling from your fingers, the show you'd been watching paused the second you'd heard the locks beeping open, your eyes followed his figure as he kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket. As he slipped on the ridiculously orange slippers he loved, you tilted your head, waiting for him to realize you were there.

You'd been expecting him to be late, but 4 am had rolled around with no sign of him, so you'd gotten comfy on the couch, sneaking in a chance to burrow in his hoodie, the item already large on him, it swamped you. It was a much needed security blanket at the moment, and you snuggled deeper into it as you fought a grin when a stumble from your friend had him finally coming back to reality. The second his eyes landed on you, he lept backwards as a scream of fright left his lips, a leg in the air as he faked a kick.

Unable to help the snort of laughter that escaped, you waved a sleeve covered hand at him as he waved his hands in front of him like the ninja he most definitely was not. Cheeks twitching slightly as you tried to keep your laughter in check, you couldn't help the teasing tone from your voice when you spoke.

"You forgot I was gonna be here, didn't you?"

"Jesus FUCK, you scared the shit out of me!" Jooheon panted, a large hand clutching his chest, fingers digging for his heart as his other arm supported his weight from where he leaned on the arm chair, knees still recovering from the scare.

"I'll take that as a big, fat no." You snickered, batting away the glare your friend sent your way, blue hair falling messily in front of his eyes, which were dull with exhaustion.

When he finally decided to just collapse into the armchair, you wrapped your arms around your knee, other leg crossed underneath you and the blanket you'd dragged from Jooheon's bedroom. His eyes latching onto the familiar black hoodie, a tired eyebrow was raised and you shrugged, taking the opportunity to flap your sweater-paws at him. His snort of amusement used his whole body, and you flipped him your middle finger, sinking back into the couch cushions as Jooheon sighed again.

"I am sorry I forgot though." Jooheon apologized, a hand brushing through his hair tiredly before he brought both hands down his face. "We had to get a dance practice video out." He explained and you shrugged again, cutting him off when he tried to apologize more, ever the kind hearted person.

"It's ok." You assured him with a small smile. "I knew what I signed up for when I became the best-friend of an Idol."

"Best-friend? You sure about that?"

Ignoring the muttered comment you caught coming from your friends mouth, you decided to be the more mature one and settled for sticking your tongue out, kicking the blanket off as you stood up. Legs instantly breaking out into goosebumps as the fall weather gave the air a crisp bite to it, you shivered and padded barefoot to his kitchen, calling out over your shoulder as you went.

"Need a drink?"

"Yes please!"

Rolling your eyes at the vehement reply, your hand switched direction mid course, fingers grabbing a beer can instead of a bottle of water, instinctively knowing that it was what he was wanting. Pausing as you straightened up from the fridge, you glanced at the beer in hand and then back to the five that remained before grabbing one for yourself.

After the week you'd had, a beer at 4 am with Jooheon was just what you needed.

"Hands up." You called as you walked back towards the living room, and when a hand appeared over the back of the arm chair, you didn't hesitate, tossing one of the beer cans without a second glance.

The snap, hiss and crack of the beer can opening was enough to let you know he'd caught it and you sniggered under your breath as you sank back down on the couch, drawing the blanket back over your legs. Opening your own beer, you took your first swallow of the strong beverage, wincing as the aftertaste hit your tongue, exaggerating your expression on purpose.

At that Jooheon had to laugh, his first belly laugh since he'd stepped into his apartment and you felt a spark of joy light up inside you as your friend perked up a little. You knew his job was draining, even though he loved it, so when he actually made the effort to carve out time to see you, you tried to be like a human battery, transferring your energy to him via stupid jokes and silliness. And in some way, he repaid you by being a solid presence when your foundations felt weak.

And they definitely felt weak tonight. Work had been brutal, co-workers had been bitchy and people you'd thought were friends had turned out to be backstabbers. You needed the solidity he offered.

"Yah, why the frown?" Jooheon called softly, breaking the small moment of silence. Shaking your head, bringing yourself out of the brief trip down unpleasant memory lane, you forced a smile on your face as you looked up from where you'd been staring at the beer can. Fingertips fiddling with the tab, you caught the concerned dip of his eyebrows.

"It's been a rough week is all." You really didn't want to talk about it, and Jooheon knew it. He could tell by the way your shoulders tightened and how your knuckles went white as your grip on the can tightened. So he shrugged it off and decided to wait until you brought it up.

"Well, I'm going to take my beer to the bathroom and take a quick shower." He announced instead, groaning slightly as he picked himself up off the armchair, plush mouth pulling taut as his muscled pulled, and you frowned again, this time in worry over your friend.

"4 am shower beer?" You questioned with a snort as Jooheon smirked at you, raising his beer in a silent cheer, to which you raised yours in return, calling out after him. "Classy!"

Smiling as you took a sip from your drink, Jooheon's laughter echoed down the hallway before the sound of his bedroom door shutting ended it and you sunk deeper into the cushions, pulling your knees up as your free hand brought the blanket up around you, eyes staring blankly at the space between you and the TV. Mind rehashing the previous week, flashes of arguments flashing across your memory relentlessly, the phantom pain of being backstabbed was ever present and it demanded to be felt.

And that was how Jooheon found you, staring at the still paused TV screen, fingers sliding around the rim of the beer can, the small muscle in your jaw jumping as your mind raced behind your eyes, and not for the first time he found himself entranced as your face reflected your thoughts. Knowing of no other way to help you other than to distract you, he leapt over the back of the couch and settled himself on the cushions, damp head resting in your lap.

"Pet me." He whined with a pout, tone firm as though he wouldn't take no for an answer, and when you raised an eyebrow at him, he poked a finger into his dimple and you slapped a hand over his mouth before he could pull out the baby voice. "Mmph!" His voice muffled, you snickered as you knew he'd just cursed at you.

"You're such a child." You muttered under your breath, not bothering to hide the smile as your fingers complied with his request, burying themselves into his hair, fingernails lightly scratching at his scalp. Your friend simply stuck his tongue out at you before turning his attention to whatever show you'd been watching, now long forgotten.

As Jooheon started to visibly relax, you could see his eyes start to droop as you ran your fingers through his hair, eyes stuck on watching the blue strands brush over your skin. If Jooheon was a cat, you were pretty sure he'd be purring right about now, and you stifled the chuckle that rose in your throat with a swig of beer. For as long as you'd known Jooheon, he'd always needed to have some form attention at all times, and while at first it had annoyed you down to your last nerve, it had grown on you.

So much so that it wasn't at all uncommon to see him lounging just like he was now whenever you were at his apartment. Or whenever you were simply around. If he met you for coffee, he'd drag you to the most private part he could find and sweep you up in a bone crushing hug before draping himself across your shoulders. Smiling to yourself as you remembered how you used to hate his bear hugs, you had to admit that you loved them now. No day was fully complete without a hug from Jooheon.

Blinking in surprise at the sudden thought, you couldn't help but recall all the times you'd fight against the hug and Jooheon would just hold on, that damn smirk playing on his lips. Of course, you always ended up leaning into the hug, grumbling and muttering under your breath as Jooheon laughed, squeezing you tighter, arms stuck to your sides so you couldn't swat at him.

Stuck in the memory, a pleasant one for a change, you let it play on, the familiar bubble of some unnamed emotion that always grew in your chest when you were around Jooheon spreading a giddy warmth through your body.

Of course, as soon as Jooheon did let you, you were right there with a solid punch to the shoulder, grumbling under your breath when it always seemed to hurt you more than it hurt him. And Jooheon always reacted, pretending it hurt even though you knew it didn't. The scene was vivid in your mind, it occured so often that it was like watching a movie that only you could see.

So when the memory of Jooheon smirking at you, that puckish glint in his eyes as he uttered the one line he always said after he'd annoyed you, the one you'd never really payed attention to because you were so busy being frustrated with him, came up in your mind, it was crystal clear and you finally heard the words.

"You know you love me."

Feeling those words like a punch to the tit, your chest felt like it caved inwards as they echoed in your ears and you swore your heart stopped beating for a minute. Closing your eyes as you sucked in a breath through lungs that didn't seem to be working, you pressed a hand to your chest, surprised at the rapid beat as literal lights went off in your heads, points finally connecting in a heart shaped pattern.

A soft sigh broke the silence that had engulfed the two of you, and unable to help it, you looked down and swallowed, hard. Jooheon was staring up at you, the flashing TV light throwing odd shadows dancing across his face, and a little voice inside your head, sounding more and more familiar, remarked that you'd never seen him look so handsome.

"You would suck so bad at poker." His words were soft, affectionate even.

Sitting rigid as though your spine had turned into a rod of steel, you couldn't bring yourself to look away as ,slowly, the emotions crossing his face started to make sense.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Brain tripping over your tongue, you forced your vocal cords to work, hating that all you could manage was a whisper.

And then Jooheon smirked as he reached out to tug on one of the hoodie strings, eyes roaming across your face like he was reading his favorite book.

"Watching you think is more entertaining than television. Every thought you have plays across your face when you get lost in your head. It's like you have your own little language in facial expressions."

Words dying on the tip of your tongue, you watched, frozen, as he reached up to trail the back of his fingers down your cheek, his touch leaving a blazing trail his eyes followed. You knew Jooheon well enough to know that he wasn't done speaking, and you were proved right, a little burst of pride in your gut, when he spoke again.

"I'm glad you finally figured it out." He muttered, eyes hooded as he looked back up to your eyes, still keeping his head in your lap.

Almost as if he knew that as soon as he moved you'd be up and running.

"Figured what out?" Happy that the words came out clear, you bit your tongue to keep from making a sound when Jooheon chuckled low in his throat, the real version of the one he did on stage and was in his sexy persona.

"That you love me, you idiot. I was waiting for you to catch up."

#monsta x #monsta x fic #monsta x fluff #jooheon #jooheon fluff #jooheon monsta x #christeewrites #fluff #jooheon fic

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rosmarinys · 5 years ago

Text

breathe in, breathe out, let the human in

read on ao3 / dedicated to @ashpanesars bc ellie wrote a dotty fic and it is EXCELLENT pls read it

Dotty values grief the same way she values anything else, taken with a bitter smile and a sharp comment. (This is a lie.)

Dotty hates her father and never spares him a sentimental thought. (This is a lie.)

Dotty grieves her father the same way she grieves for herself, a hole in her chest filled with lost opportunities and dead love. (This is true.)

Dotty curls up in her bed (It’s not her bed, not really. Sonia told her that Nick used to sleep in here and now she lies awake at night wondering if she’s lying in the exact position he used to lay in, if he was just a man in those little hours of the night or if he schemed even then, more monster than ever. She runs through her concealer trying to cover up the dark shadows under her eyes these days.) and imagines other versions of herself.

One version of herself grew up in this house with Nick and Dot but Nick was kind and Dot loved them both dearly and they had tea everyday together and laughed and all the walls had Dot’s old wallpaper on it and it was nice. (Nick’s face is blurry in these fantasies, like a phantom, a ghost of someone who never existed. Dotty doesn’t linger on these dreams too much, she’s not one for dreaming of impossibilities.)

Another version of her is one where everything happens the way it did – Nick, pills, Dot, Wales – but Dotty comes back different. Dotty comes back with soft smiles and flowery dresses and apologies and everyone loves her, and she gives her own love out freely. (Platitudes have always tasted like falsities on her tongue; this fantasy isn’t her, it’s another phantom, one of a girl who died the moment she met her father.)

Most nights she just turns over and tries to sleep. No time to dream about things that will never happen.

Bex is nice in a way she doesn’t expect. Dotty expects judgemental looks and self-righteous frowns, for Bex to think she’s a better person and to let Dotty know whenever she could. But Bex is just tired, the bags under her eyes are bigger than Dotty’s and she smiles at Dotty, soft, like she’s actually her friend. (She is, Dotty thinks, she is. Nick’s voice is especially sharp whenever someone is kind and it feels like twisting a limb whenever she ignores him.)

They both stay up late some nights, hunched over cooling cups of tea with the only light being a few candles they found beneath the sink, Dot’s probably, and Bex tells her all sorts of things. Usually what drama had gone on while she was in Wales – Did you really not know that Callum was engaged to Whitney? – but sometimes it’s quiet confessions with dramatic shadows waving across their faces – Sometimes I just feel…empty, y’know?

There are never any confessions from Dotty, though she does consider it. She imagines opening her mouth, feel the words press against her teeth – There are times where I’m not sure if it was all Nick or I was responsible for everything I did, I’m not sure if I can be good because my blood is bad, it’s sour in my veins, I hear Nick’s voice in my head sometimes and it shouldn’t be so hard to ignore him but it is, does that mean I am a bad person, am I a bad person, am I - ?

Instead she swallows them down with cold tea and smiles at Bex, all teeth, and asks if she wants another cup.

(And now Sonia’s stolen money from Dot and Bex is gone, moved out and Dotty sits up, alone, with an empty mug and whispers her secrets into it, just for her and the candles)

Walford is different now but she’s not sure what she expected. Everything still looks the same on the surface but then the bustle starts, and the people come out, most of them on school runs, the chatter loud and insistent, and Dotty doesn’t recognises most of them.

In some ways it’s comforting, the feeling must be a two-way street, and so these people must look at her and think she’s just Dot’s granddaughter, easy on the eyes with a penchant for mesh tops and boots. (Other times it makes her want to scream, scream that she’s awful and evil and she tried to kill Dot and she tried to kill Nick and her blood is festering beneath her skin, look, look at the rot, look at the filth. But – but, most of the time, she’s just grateful)

The ones who do know make her spine stiffen, ready for a barbed comment about her father, the name Nick Cotton thrown like a bomb with shrapnel that digs into her flesh. They think she’s just as bad, she can tell. They’re waiting for someone to turn up dead so they can nod their heads, self-satisfied, all I knew it, I told you, didn’t I? Bad to the bone, just like her father. (Dotty usually jumps in before them, poison dripping from her tongue, she can’t feel their barbs if she cuts them first, right?)

So, yes. Walford is different. But nothing’s changed, not really. Affairs, mysterious disappearances and Dotty, taller with boobs now but still Nick Cotton’s daughter.

Bobby is sweet in a way she thinks she could have been. He looks haunted at times and when he doesn’t, his face is soft and childlike, big eyes peering at Dotty as though he is wondering who she is. He must like what he sees because he smiles at her a lot, no teeth, and when he speaks to her, his voice is quiet, his face soft with a blush.

He invites her around for dinner sometimes and she never goes but he doesn’t seem to hold it against her, just blinks and invites her around again. One time, she feels bad enough that she stands outside his back door for an hour, frozen, listening to the sound of his family eating and laughing together. There’s an ache in her chest, a cavern that wants to be filled but her father’s voice tells her to cut it bigger, to let it engulf her until she’s a blackhole, a whirlpool that destroys everything in her path.

Bobby opens the door just as she’s about to leave, face wide with surprise, a bag filled with rubbish clutched in his hand. She opens her mouth to – what? Apologise? She’s not sure if she can, and feels bile rise in her throat – but Bobby just shuts the door behind him and steps around her, shoves the bag in the bin – fails for a second, there’s so much rubbish piled into it, and he smiles at her sheepishly, like they’re friends, like they’ve never not been friends – and then sits on his backstep and looks up at her, face illuminated by the moonlight.

(She sits next to him and she doesn’t say anything, acid is at the back of her tongue and she doesn’t want to be mean to Bobby, so many people are and she, selfishly, wants to be someone he likes, someone he turns to when others cruel and he needs someone to be kind. Kindness isn’t exactly Dotty’s forte but she can do this, she can sit and listen to him murmur about things that don’t really matter – how his dinner was, what Ian has done to annoy everyone this week, a joke Habiba told him yesterday – and when he reaches over and wraps his fingers around her wrist and presses to feel her pulse thrum, she doesn’t flinch away so he can smile.)

Bobby looks at her like he gets what it feels like to be less person and more story and so she sits on his backstep and bares her teeth when people stare too long at him. (It feels nice, looking out for someone, makes her feel big, like someone to be proud of. And Bobby and Bex both grin at her when she visits so she must be doing something right.)

Dot is how she remembers her – sharp-tongued and kind in the way that only hard-assed old women can be – but now she’s frailer, her fingers are all sharp now and she seems tired in a way that someone is when they’ve lived a hard life for so long. (Dotty wonders if there’s a pattern in the people she surrounds herself with, if she’s drawn to those with extra weight attached to their limbs.)

She calls her Kirsty sometimes and it feels like a wall between them. Dotty knows it’s her name, her real name not a scheme, but when Dot says it, it feels like an acknowledge of the history between them, of the ghost of a man who stands in the corner of every room she’s in. But mostly Dot calls her Dotty and it makes them both smile and Dotty hands her a cup of tea and there’s no hesitation when she takes a sip and it makes her heart warm.

Dot is starting to forget things, though. Small things like where she left her purse and what day of the week it is, and Dotty feels every thing forgotten like a needle in her side, tiny pricks that bring her back to reality, a reality in which Dot is old and frail and not the Gran who once threw her over her lap and smacked her bum.

Dotty looks at her grandmother and wants to apologise for everything Nick did, for the lies she told when she was younger, for all the trouble they both caused. She says none of it, but Dot seems to know anyway, and presses a kiss to her forehead when she says goodnight, her lips cool and Dotty thinks the crick she gets in her neck is worth it.

There are so many things that Dotty won’t say, because she’s not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is what she just feels like she should be feeling.

Some things are better kept quiet because they’re too awful to be heard. (Like how Dotty hates her father for killing any version of them both that could’ve been nice and soft, but she also misses him like a limb at times. He was the monster who used to hide under her bed but now hides inside her head and gives her sleepless nights, but she used to hold his hand and it was just a firm grip with worn callouses. How evil could he have been? She had held his hand.)

She pricked her finger the other day and looked at how red the blood was. Am I a bad person? She’d asked. The blood hadn’t answered but it had stained the carpet. That was answer enough she supposed and felt Nick Cotton smile as she thinks about how Sonia had stolen money, and how much better Dotty could have done it.

#dotty cotton #eastenders #my writing #EastEnders fic #bex fowler #bobby beale #nick cotton #dot cotton #bex x dotty #dotty x bobby #hate that yall don't do 'and' for non-romantic relationships nasty #what is this fic help

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tireddal · 5 years ago

Text

Akagi x F!Reader OneShot

Pls sorry English isn't my mother tongue, but I have tried and will be happy if you give me some advices, so, enjoy♡♡♡♡♡

She is amazing.

Firstly, she was only one who like you from the beginning.

-We were destined to meet,-her voice was so soft at the same time she was one of the strongest aircraft carriers. You gave her a short smile when you had heard this-what else could you did? She laughed quietly on this.

She is beautiful, almost perfect. Long silky brown hair, light skin, slim body and these ruby eyes, which always look at you with infinitely adoration and love. Her scent is cutie: you relax when feel floral shade getting from her.

She cared about you too good: welcomed you every morning (ignoring how your secretary ship, Warspite, growling on it), made you delicious tea and brought it right in your room, caressed you in the evening when you sat together after hard battle. She became your close friend.

Sometimes you thought that if Warspite hadn't become your wife, Akagi would have taken this place. Place near you, her beloved.

***

-I love you,-she purred,-Love, love you so much, Shkikan!-she was laughing and took off her hireo, throw it on the floor.

Your mind was pulsing, and...And tea has been strange...Or not tea?

-A-akagi?-you asked weakly. You was leaning on the sofa and trying not to lay down.

Your body was on fire. Room was melting like your consciousness. You tried to move, but couldn't. Shipgirl has laughed and sat near you, taking your hand in her.

-Akagi...-you was talking hard, your throat has been feeling like desert,-Akagi, what have you given me?-you turned your head to her. God...Her eyes were too red.

-Nothing. It is only my own love, Shkikan...-she cupped your chin, put her lips over yours, licking your low lip,-My love will fill all world, and every ship will know that I'm yours, Shkikan...And you are mine!-she laughed again and got down, leaning on your chest, unbuttoned your officer's jacket and put some kisses on naked skin. Air in room became hotter and hotter, you felt how oxygen in your lungs has finished.

-A...A-akagi,-you called low. It was your last attempt to continue this. Fox looked at you in question,-Akagi, Warspite and...And Royal Navy...They will try to kill you, Akagi.

She sniffed for a second, but then started laughing loud.

-Doesn't matter, if you will be by my side. And you will be, won't you, Shkikan?-Akagi begged with strong fear in her voice and fast sat on your lap, looking at you. Looking with her amazing red eyes. You kept silent for a minute and Akagi had been waiting this time without a sound, only breathing quiet. You smirked and reached her face with your fingers, caressed it.

-I will.

She smiled happily and hugged you, knocking a wind out of you,-she is one of the strongest aircraft carriers, hey! You laughed quietly and patted her hair, closing eyes.

Oh. You felt how her fingers bound with yours and Akagi kissed you again, pressing her lips against yours and purring.

***

...-Officers, draw swords!

You looked around.

There was big hall, which has been filled bright light. There were tables with different food and drinks. A lot of seats.

All Royal Navy's ships were here, in luxurious dresses and with decorated weapons. You heard congratulations for you and Warspite from every shipgirl, and also not only from Royal, sea warriors from every fraction were greeting your couple.

-I'm so happy, Commander,-suddenly, said quietly Warspite. You looked at her. Warspite's cheeks were blushing under white bridal veil, which hid her pretty face. You pulled her closer, put hand on her waist. Warspite's dress fit her perfect-long silk dress with jewelry and gold edge of the dress trimmed with silver.

-Glad to hear this. However, from this day you can't call me Commander.

-But...But how I should call you then, Master?-she asked, fixing her dress's gathers.

-My name will approach, what do you think?

Warspite nodded.

-Yes, my wife. My dear y/n,-her cheeks blushed more,-I-it's so embarrassing!-she sighed heavy.

You laughed, hugging her stronger, feeling her heartbeat against yours.

-Soon you will get used to it, Warspite.

***

-Mine, mine, mine...-Akagi was moaning loud under your touches. Now you two were leaning on sofa together: you overhung Akagi was kissing and teasing her with your fingers. You felt drug in your blood yet, but now it wasn't like high temperature, it felt like sexual obsession and you couldn't resist it. Have been thought about this you laughed suddenly, that gave Akagi's heart a leap.

-W-what's wrong, Shkikan...?-she asked, has been tried to take normal breath. Her hands were leaning on your shoulders.

-Ha-ha, oh, no, nothing wrong,-you shook your head,-It's just really exciting, you know, Akagi?-you licked her naked neck, felt flourish taste on your tongue, then started slight swallowing her skin up to make some marks. Akagi yelled in pleasure, making her grip on you stronger.

-Ah-h...Shkikan...I know that it's nice, but...Ah!-she cryed, when you have sucked her collarbone,-But why did you laugh?

You stopped kissing her and lifted up head.

-Because it's madness, my sweetheart. Just look what you have done with me....-you patted her cheek, smiling tired,-I always keep my feelings inside, but what am I doing now? Gonna fuck you while I have the strongenst battleship of Royal Navy as wife...It's a vile sin.

Akagi took off her barrette, thrown it on the floor. She smiled and reached your hand which was on her face, caressing it.

-Don't worry, Shkikan. I will protect you from all of them, because...If you will be with me, I'm ready to become the worst sinner in the world, he-he...-Akagi said happily and gave you deep kiss, was pulling you closer, so you just leaned on her breasts.

***

-Scum!-shipgirl hurt you, so you have fallen on the floor with quiet hum of pain.

-Warspite...-begged Illustrious with tears on her pretty face. Battleship reject carrier's hands, which tried to pulled Warspite away.

-How dare you...How dare you exchange me on this slut?!-angry cryed battleship, was looking on aircraft carrier who was holding you. You hadn't words to say, like, what you could say on this...?-Bastard! I hope you will burn in the hell with this harlot!

-Warspite...-you tried, but suddenly she shot from her carbines. Illustrious yelled in fair and has covered her mouth, finished cry. You smirked and was ready for death.

***

-Mother!-joyfully yelled brown-haired girl and strongly held your wife's arm. Woman smiled, slightly pulled kid closer.

-Haruko, you shouldn't cry so loud,-Akagi patted child's hair,-Y/N-san tired, you must let her have a rest.

Girl grumbled, taking a hard breath, and nodded in agree. Woman chuckled and turned back to see you, who was going to home slowly, lifting up stone stairs. There were some heavy bags and suitcases in your hands, but, however, you didn't care about their weight. You were at home after all, and sakura's flowers accompanied you.

-Genetrix!-girl waved her hand in air, so you gave your attention on her. You smiled and went faster.

***

-Y/N L/N, from this day you aren't commander anymore,-said roughly general, old skinny man. You gave a bow in agreement and, have turned around, went for exit,-Thanks for your work.

You went from cabinet on jelly legs, so then you just pulled your back against wall. There was a lump in your throat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"-you cried mentally on yourself. Good work. You lost all what you have had. No job, no family, no friends...You hid your face in palms. You lost all, but it wasn't matter. You thought about Akagi. How was she? How did react her fraction on that scandal? Would Royal Navy shoot her? It was the worst problem in all of this. You will find a job, maybe build new family, but you sent Akagi to her doom.

Suddenly you have heard knocking of heels. It was strange, because all women-officers, how you knew, were in operations.

-Shkikan,-you slowly put down your hands and shouted for a second silently. Akagi's face was opposite yours,-How are you?-she asked with worrying in voice.

-Akagi!-you whispered and hugged her firmly, have been getting a sniff of her floral scent. She laughed quietly.

-Shkikan, you shouldn't worry so much,-said carrier. Your body was shaking, you have been ready to start crying, so you just was keeping silent,-Y/N, all right now. I'm not battleship currently.

Akagi said this happily. You take a deep breath and, still have been shocked, looked in her eyes.

-Akagi?

-Yes! Now we can be together like common people!-she laughed, hugging you stronger,-We can build our own home, make a family, I can cook meals special for you...

-Akagi,-you lightly depart from her,-Do you really want it? Do you understand that you will never send bombers, never fly on the waves?

-Of course I understand this all, Shkikan. If you allow me be yours partner on this hard way, I will be the happiest sh...No,-Akagi shook her head,-I will be happiest girl in the world,-she took your hands in her.

Maybe Akagi was right about yours happy future?

***

-Haruko!

Girl jumped in your hands and you hugged her firmly.

-I'm so glad to see you!-cryed girl, who was strongly held you neck. You have sighed and looked at woman near you two.

She wore light copper-colored cape with gold dragons on it's shoulders. Under cape was red kimono with some pink sakura's flowers. Her brown hair was picked up in top with golden pins, and on ears you saw long gold earrings with rubins and skillful metal pattern around jewelry-it was your bridal present for her. Akagi has become more and more beautiful with years.

-Y/N-san, glad to see you. Hope, yours way was easy and fast,-she said gently and gave you a bow. You hung off Haruko, have patted her small head, and looked in woman's eyes.

-Akagi,-you took her hand with fear and gave gentle kiss her knuckles. Akagi has blushed and covered her face with wide sleeve of her cape, despite this you could see her smirk.

-Y/N, you should go inside and have a rest. I have heard about your hard work in port.

Cicadas were chirring on the street and warm breeze has been coming from sea, so your doors small gold bells were ringing clearly. Sun had gone under horizon. You were missed for these family evenings after three years of duty.

Yours kitchen was big. While you were eating, you had chance to see how much has changed Haruko. Her yh/c short hair has become longer, she has grown up for some centimeters. Oh, and she has beautiful red lines near her eye's cover. Akagi has been doing it while she was battleship.

-M-m-m...Rice was delicious, mom, arigato!-happily said Haruko, so Akagi smiled, gave girl short bow. She was too glad hear Japanese words from her daughter's lip, because all people and shipgirls have been talking on English after service in harbor.

-Y/N-san,-Haruko has been worried, so asked you respectful and quietly,-Do you need bathroom right now?

You slightly shook head, was drinking tea from little black cup.

-Oh, so I will go...Good night, mom, Y/N-san,-Haruko stood up, gave you respectful bow and went away. Akagi lifted up too and started to remove plates from the table, put it in sink.

-Thank you, Akagi. Rice and fish really were delicious,-woman smiled on this and sat near you, kept her head on yours shoulder and has grinned your hand like she was afraid that you wasn't real. You sighed.

-Akagi, I have some good news for you,-started you.

-Hm?-she slightly caressed your hand, was listening carefully.

-You can become aircraft carrier again!-you panted loud and looked in Akagi's red eyes,-My dear, lovely Akagi, you can become battleship again,-you patted her hair gently. Akagi kept silent and calm, only her open small mouth issued her shock,-Don't worry, my love. You shouldn't have modernization or anything same, they will just give your equipment and accept for duty in port...

Akagi firmly shut you up with kiss, was playing with your tongue and squeezed your black shirt strong.

-A-akagi?-you whispered in kiss. Akagi licked her lips and smirked.

-Tasty like always...-murmured Akagi,-Y/N, you're so stupid!-she hugged you and licked yours neck, so you have flinched in surprise,-I don't want this right now, like...Haruko needs me. Maybe next year, but tonight all what I wanna-be here with Haruko and you.

You smiled and kissed her gently.

#azur lane #ijn akagi #akagi #warspite #oneshot #drabble #reader #femslash #female

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michael-langdon-appreciation · 6 years ago

Text

There Are Harder Addictions to Shake - Oneshot

Jim Mason x fem!reader (dark!jim)

Words: 3.9K

Request: for @alexcornerblog my girl has waited a long time for this!

Summary: You’ve just made your relationship with Jim official, however it isn’t long before Jim starts to smother you, fixating on your relationship to cope with the damage in his life. As Jim grows obsessive what will you be forced to do? What will he do to win you back?

Warning: PG-13 fic! Contains an obsessive and unhealthy relationship! Please do be warned, Jim is not the sweet peach we all know and love. Swearing! Emotional Manipulation! Drug use! Obsessive love! Stalking! Fluff! Time Jumps!

A/N: dark!jim is back, but I didn’t want this to go down a dubcon route! Jim is very emotionally unstable in this, the reader becomes his new fixation. I’ve been through/and am still dealing with a relationship where I have been emotionally manipulated so pls do be careful with partners and friends! There is fluff at the beginning though! I hope you all enjoy 🙈

(Gif by @hardyfern)

The night was everything I had hoped it would be, he was soft and tender, Jim’s fingers traced everywhere I wanted them to be, pulling sounds from me I didn’t know I could make. It wasn’t my first time, but he made it feel like it was. We were facing each other on our pillows, Jim’s legs wrapped around mine and he told me I was his lighthouse. His shining beam guiding him through the shit he’s trying to deal with. It was romantic, poetic and I fell asleep wondering how I got so lucky with this sweet, kind boy.

I wake to find Jim out on the balcony. I glance at my phone, it’s early - 7:06am. He’s not wearing a shirt, Jim doesn’t look cold standing only his boxers without a care in the world. A curl of smoke rises in the morning air from Jim’s lit cigarette, his lips taking a long drag. He looks delicious, Jim’s got a surfer’s body full of well-built muscle and sinewy arms. He catches sight of me watching from mu bed, puts out his cigarette and leaps on top of the duvet. I laugh escapes me, “Morning.”

“Good Morning.” He greets, propping his head up on his hand, “Thanks for letting me stay over.”

“You think I was going to throw you out after last night?”

Jim’s eyes sparkle, “I hoped not.” Jim takes me in from my rumpled hair to where my body hides behind the duvet, “You’re so beautiful.”

I’m blushing and reach for the hairbrush on my bedside table. Jim crawls up between my legs, “Let me.” He offers, taking the brush and running it through my hair. I’ve never had a boy care for me like this, I can feel his fingers slide through the knots till my hair is smooth once again. “I meant what I said last night.” Jim’s sat himself cross-legged before me, my legs spread open to accommodate him. “I don’t think I’d survive without you.”

I pull his face in for a kiss. “Don’t say that,” I whisper when we break apart. “You have so much to live for, Jim.”

“I only feel like that when you’re near though.” He admits, turning over and lying his head in my lap. Jim basks in his new-found position, my fingers running into his hair and massaging his scalp.

A yawn escapes me, “Are you coming back to bed?”

Jim nods, climbing under the covers and spooning me tight against his chest. I start to drift off, Jim pressing kisses into my neck when a phone blares. I start, accidentally elbowing him and Jim grunts in pain, rolling over to check the Caller ID on both phones.

“Sorry.” I call, “It’s it me?’

Jim lets out a cry of frustration and chucks his phone across the room. It hits my wardrobe, still singing away as Jim pulls the duvet back up over his shoulders.

“Leave it.” He orders, “Just my fucking Mom, again.”

“Did you tell her you were coming over?”

Jim scowls, “She would never let me come over if I told her.”

I don’t know Sandy that well. We met once when I was heading out of school with Jim and she gave us a ride to the beach. She asked me a hundred questions about PV, where I lived and if my pool was one acre or two. Jim was mouthing apologies the entire ride, squeezing my hand until Sandy told him to stop. Jim’s phone dies down and I don’t question it. We all have moments when we don’t want to hear from our parents, I can respect that. Jim resumes kissing the back of my neck, I roll over eager for some more action. Jim obliges at once, kissing me deeply, “I’ll never tire of this.” He says, “I’ll kiss you forever if I can.”

I nuzzle my head onto his chest and Jim lies back, letting me sleep against him. I can feel his heartbeat hammering away, “Why are you nervous?” I ask, my eyes going back to his phone. There’s a steady stream of notifications on there, piling up on top of each other.

“My Mom just gets me so riled up.” He admits, “And my Dad.”

“You know you’re welcome here whenever you want.”

“Do you mean that?”

I nod, pressing a kiss into Jim’s chest. “If you need an escape, just let me know.”

Jim and I are friends, we have been since the Mason’s moved here. Medina, Jim and I are a unit, we spend all our free time together and I kinda feel guilty for leaving Medina behind. But Jim always set my heart aflutter, he brought out the best in me, lavished me with his attention and I gave it all back in return. “What are you thinking about?” Jim asks, “Tell me what you desire?”

I snigger at his attempt to be smooth, “Thinking about last night, about us.”

“Oh yeah?” He smirks, “What are we?”

“I was going to ask you?”

I smile up at him and Jim kisses me again, “I’m yours.” He vows, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Jim’s phone blasts again. He groans, dragging his pillow over his head.

I give in, climb out of bed and fetch his phone for him. I dare not answer it, the Caller ID clearly says MOM. I wait for it to stop ringing and check the notifications. “Jim, there’s over ten missed calls here.” I tell him, “She’s probably worried about you if she doesn’t know where you are.”

“Medina knows.” Jim protests from under his pillow, “Medina will have told her where I am. She’s just fucking paranoid, she won’t leave me alone.”

I climb back onto the bed. Jim peeks at me, removing the pillow so I can see one eye. I hold his phone out to him, “I think you should head home.” I say, carefully.

His expression darkens, “You want me to go?”

“Of course not.” I say, “But I don’t want to upset your Mom.”

Jim doesn’t reply but he looks desolate.

I pull him into me for a hug, “At least call her back, tell her you’re safe.”

He kisses me goodbye, promising to be back over as soon as he can slip away. Thankfully my parents aren’t up yet, so Jim sneaks out successfully and once he’s gone I jump right back into bed.

When I wake again it’s around mid-day. I’ve slept longer than I expected to but I don’t mind, my body tingles from last night and I lie there for a few minutes re-imagining how Jim suckled at my neck, how he fed on my breasts while he pumped in and out of me. My phone pings with a text from the boy in my fantasies - Are you up yet? Beach at 1, Medina’s already out.

It’s a weekend, of course Medina’s getting in as much surfing time as she can. I put on a swim-suit, the one Jim likes with the plunging neckline. It isn’t one to seriously swim in, but after last night I’m feeling risky.

Medina’s is indeed already surfing when I pull up in my car, I hop out and grab my tote bag. She’s such a professional already, learning tricks off Dan Adder or so Jim tells me. She waves at me from the sea and I wave back, locating her stuff and laying out my towel. Medina swims for the shoreline, her arms powerful, her body flat on the board.

When she arrives she shakes water over me and I scream, “Where was my brother last night?”

I give her a look, “You know where.”

Medina has a shit-eating grin on her face, “Did he finally tell you?”

I nod and Medina nearly punches the air in triumph, “Thank God, I am so sick of keeping his moaning, pining ass a secret from you.”

“Why, how long has it been?” I’m curious because Jim and I being more than friends has completely snuck up on me. I had thought this was just a natural progression, I had no idea Jim’s feelings had been going on for a while.

Medina considers and then plops down next to me, “You can’t tell him because he will kill me.” She begins, “But he’s had it bad since you stood up to Chad.”

“That was months ago.”

“Now you know how hard it’s been.” Medina grins, “All the Medinaaaa, how do I speak to her. I don’t wanna ruin what we have, but she’s so pretty and confident blahhhhh.” I push her over and check my phone. Medina comes rolling right back her eyes scanning my swimsuit, “So you’re not here to surf.”

“Nope.”

“Slut.”

I tap her, “We don’t use words like that do we, Medina.”

‘I’m only trying to wind you up.” I shoot her a frown, suddenly regretting my choice of swimwear. I tug at the neckline and Medina pushes my hands away, “I’m sorry.” She apologies, “You look stunning, I mean it. Jim’s lucky.”

“I know I am.”

He’s snuck up on us, Jim sitting right beside me and kissing my cheek. Medina fights her revulsion, “Well I’m gonna go disappear into the sea again.”

“Bye.” Jim calls, waving her away and I laugh again. Jim presses me down into the towel, kissing me so deeply I have to push him away to get some air. “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have homework.” I tell him, “Considering I didn’t get any done last night-”

“We’re going out.” Jim informs me, “Seven.” You look away out to the waves. Medina catches a huge wave and I give her a cheer as she styles it out, Jim keeps watching me, “Well?”

I kiss him, “Homework. If I get a lot done then I’ll let you know.”

Studying goes slow, despite my endless cups of tea to try and keep me going. I don’t get Maths and it doesn’t seem to get me either. I look up from my pile of notes when there’s a knock at my door, “Jim?” I push myself up, “I said I’d text you.”

“You’re Mom’s so nice.” He says, completely ignoring me. He picks up your calculus book and catches my stony expression, “I wanted to come and help you.”

“You hate maths.” I remind him, taking back my book.

“I’m okay at it though.”

You let it slide, taking a sip of tea.

It isn’t long before Jim is sitting next to me. He’s flipping through my notebook, smiling at the doodles he comes across. His voice interrupts my studying, “Who’s N?”

“Don’t remember.”

‘Why is there a heart?”

Jim is hiding his irritation. His mouth is a harsh line, his eyes frozen on the scribble. I kiss his cheek, “Relax, it’s Nathan from Medina’s Biology class. She likes him.”

Jim doesn’t seem convinced though, “You like me, right?”

I stare at him, “Of course. I wouldn’t have let the other night happen if not.”

Jim’s fingers lace in mine, “You’re the best thing in my life Y/N. You and Medina.”

“I know.”

Jim pulls me in, kissing wherever he can reach. His hands slide my shirt up, cupping my breasts, ‘Jim.”

“I want you.” He moans, “Wanna make you mine again.”

He squeezes and a sound of pleasure leaves my lips. My homework forgotten about as I let Jim lie down and pull me on top of him. I straddle his waist, my hair falling into my eyes. Jim’s runs his hands over my stomach, tugging my top off. Books and notes scatter on the floor as I surge down to kiss Jim, “Y/N?”

We both freeze, it’s Mom. I jump off Jim right as the door opens but Mom is already inside my bedroom, “Heard of knocking?” I ask, seizing my top. But she’s already seen me standing in my bra, Jim’s hair ruffled as he lies in the mess we’ve made of my bed.

Jim doesn’t look sheepish at all, he just waves from the bed, “Thanks for letting me in again.”

Mom shakes her head, “So there is something going on between you two.”

“Jim and I are…”

“I’m her boyfriend.” Jim declares, “We made it official last night.”

Mom beams, “Finally.”

The second Mom has shut the door, Jim springs off the bed and pull me to him. He kisses me deep, the kind that burns into my soul. Our lips mash together Jim pressing his entire being into me. When we break apart he looks jubilant, “Hey girlfriend.”

“Hey.” I say, still whoozy from his kiss.

I slide past him and start gathering up my notes, “Jim, it’s sweet of you to come over. But I really need to finish this.”

My laptop pings into life and I dump my notes on my desk. Jim hasn’t spoken though and when I turn round he still stood in the spot I left him in, motionless. “You don’t want me here?”

“Not if you keep distracting me.”

Jim looks away, I turn back to my laptop but I feel suddenly guilty. But I shouldn’t, I need to get this homework done, “I can’t go home.” Jim appears beside me, “Mom’s really bad tonight.”

I pause, taking in my new boyfriend. “Well if you’re gonna stay you’ve got to be quiet till l’m done.”

Jim nods, pulling out his phone and a pair of earbuds, “Let me know when you’re finished.” He says, “You won’t know I’m here.”

Jim’s true to his word, I don’t hear him till I’ve completed my chapter and written up all my maths notes. I don’t really understand them, but I hope I’ve taken some in subliminally while writing. I find Jim back out on my balcony. He’s swaying back and forth to music, watching the stars hanging above. I tap his shoulder, “All finished.”

He takes out an earbud, “So you’re all mine?”

“All yours.” I declare, wrapping my arms round his neck. Jim hands me the earbud and I can hear Florence and the Machine playing softly. He pulls me in, rocking us back and forth. It feels peaceful, like everything I ever wanted.

Jim’s earbud falls out but I don’t mind. His lips are moving though, almost absentmindedly, “If I can’t have you no one else can.”

I wasn’t meant to hear it. Jim’s words send a chill though me that I would never have suspected. He catches my movement, his hands rubbing at my arms. “You cold?”

I nod, letting him lead the way back inside. Jim grabs your laptop and makes himself comfortable on your bed, “Movie?”

“Should we invite Medina?” I know why I’ve said it, Jim’s words still playing round my mind.

Jim shakes his head, “She doesn’t wanna third wheel.”

I join him on the bed, “We should get her together with Nathan, then.”

Jim’s expression sours, “Sure. Great.”

I let him pick the movie, Jim pulling me against his chest. I don’t listen to a word, I don’t even know what we’ve decided on. The hours tick by while I’m caught up in my thoughts till finally the movie ends and we go to bed. I don’t sleep at all, I just watch the beautiful boy next to me. His expression innocent, his lips tugged up in a tiny smile. His words haunt me, a promise I never should have heard.

Jim’s calls become excessive. I spend more time with Medina, we both know I’m avoiding Jim. I tell her about what I heard and Jim’s twin is surprised, but she isn’t as freaked as I am. “He’s been through a lot.” Medina says, “He’s just being protective. He’s wanted you for a long time.”

As we enter a month into our relationship Jim only gets clingier. He drives us to school and takes me home, usually overstaying his welcome. He’s a distraction, my grades are dropping and I’ve started to stay longer in school. I walk home when I can, slipping out when Jim isn’t looking.

We have our first argument the day Jim catches me heading home with Medina. I told Jim I had an after-school careers meeting so I could get some hours away from him and he caught us at the beach. It was horrible, but Jim’s tears and paranoia only confirmed my worst thoughts - he’s becoming too much.

“You’re so selfish.” He cries, “How could you lie to me?”

“I need my space, Jim.” I try to tell him. “You control every aspect of my life.”

His mouth drops open, “I do not.”

“You’re smothering me.” I tell him, “You pick me up and take me home, you stay too long at my house. I can’t do anything without you anymore.”

“Well I’m sorry for wanting to spend time with you.”

“It’s just too much.”

Medina looks between the two of us, “Jim you have been a bit full-on-”

“Don’t you dare.” Jim rounds on her, “You don’t have a say in this.” He cups my cheeks, “Y/N, all I want is your love. What has brought this on?”

A tear leaks out of my eye, “I heard you, Jim.”

“You heard me?”

“On the balcony.” I say, avoiding his crystalline eyes. “I heard you say that if you can’t have me no one else can.”

Jim scoffs, “You took that seriously?”

“How else I am meant to take it?”

“Baby, you’re overreacting.” Jim says, “I just-”

“I just…no one has made me feel the way you have. I feel safe with you, I feel loved.” He kisses me and I have no choice but to let him, “I’ve loved you for so long.”

I look into his eyes. Jim is completely convinced that what he’s doing is alright, that his obsession is just an act of love. He thinks I should be moved by this level of devotion.

I take his chin in my thumb and index finger, “You need help, Jim.”

His face turns violent. Jim’s eyes cloud over with something I’ve never seen before, “I do not need help.” He seizes my arms, “I don’t need help!” He repeats.

Medina shoves her brother, “What the hell? Let her go, Jim.”

Jim realises his mistake at once. He lets me go, taking a step back. His eyes fall on Medina, “Shit, what am I doing?”

I start to pack up my things, shoving them into my duffle bag. “Don’t follow me, Jim.”

Panic grips him, “What are you doing?”

“There’s no middle with you.” I try to reason with him once more, “When it’s good it’s great but when it’s bad you’re so clingy and you won’t let me go even for five minutes and I don’t want to lie to you. It’s worse than then...”

A silence stretches between us, “I’ve been clean for months.” Jim states, his voice low.

“I just need to breathe.” I say, “It’s like you’re obsessed.”

“I am not!” Jim seizes me again, “You are my life, Y/N. You and Medina, I can’t survive without you.”

I wrench myself out of his arms, “Don’t call me.” I order, grabbing my bag and heading to the car. “I need time.”

I race to my car, Medina following me. “Are you breaking up with me?” Jim calls, but I don’t turn back. “Y/N!” He screams, giving chase. “You can’t break up with me!”

“Stop, Jim.” Medina shouts, “You’re too much.”

But Jim’s beside himself. He collapses into the sand, “Is it Nathan? I’ll find that fucking prick! I can’t let you go!” He shouts, “You can’t leave me. I need you now more than ever. You selfish bitch!”

I unlock the car and sit inside, Medina sliding into the passenger seat. I catch Jim’s red eyes, he looks so lost and desolate on his knees in the sand. The wind ruffles his hair and he’s still speaking, but I can no longer hear him.

I prefer it that way, maybe it’s better if I never hear from him again.

Two months into our ‘relationship’ and Jim has taken up stalking me outside my house. It isn’t really a relationship, I don’t speak to Jim but he tries to win me back every second he can. He doesn’t stop calling my phone so I end up throwing it out the window. It landed at Jim’s feet and died in his hand, the screen spiderwebbed and useless. Mom’s worried, so is Dad. They don’t let Jim inside anymore, though I can hear him begging from the hallway. They’re trying to protect me, but it’s damaging Jim too. I don’t want to see him suffer, but what can I do?

He tries to break into the house and my parents call the police. They drag Jim away in handcuffs and threaten him with a restraining order. He’s crying, begging to see me because I can tell the cops it’s just a misunderstanding. We’ve just had an argument and he’s here to apologise.

I let them take him away and Sandy’s round the next day because Jim spent the night in jail.

He follows me at school, the bags evident under Jim’s eyes. He’s been called into the Principals’ office numerous times and they’ve been made aware of his trip to the Police Office. Three months into this nightmare Medina tells me that Jim has been suspended.

“They think he’s using again because of the bags under his eyes.” She tells me, the two of us watching Jim from my bedroom window. He sits on the bonnet of his car, staring up at us. He doesn’t move that much, his gaze locked on me, biding his time.

I swallow, “It seems there are worse addictions.”

Medina takes my hand, “I’m scared, Y/N.” She whispers, “He’s not eating, he’s violent. I don’t want to be around him, he’s consumed with you.”

I can’t let Medina be at risk in her own home. I know what I have to do, “Will you go get him?”

Medina splutters, “A...are you sure?”

I sit down at my desk, listening to the sound of Medina’s dying footsteps. She’s running to get Jim, seizing the chance to have us make amends. It must be torture for her, the brother and the best-friend and she’s right in the middle. I close my laptop lid and wait for the Mason twins to enter, but Medina isn’t there. Only Jim stands before me, “Where is-”

“Doesn’t matter.” Jim looks even wilder than I thought. His hair is a mess, clumps sticking up in tufts. His eyes are bloodshot, glassy and I can smell the drugs from here.

“Get out.” I snap, “I’m not doing this while you’re drugged. You said you were clean.”

“Oh I was.” Jim’s voice is cracking and deeper than I’ve ever heard it. “But you make me do the craziest things, Y/N.”

Fear ripples through me, “Leave.”

“No baby, no.” Jim stumbles over to me and drops to his knees. He places his hands on my thighs, “I’m never going to leave you again now I’m here.”

He takes out a key from his jacket pocket at waves it in front of your face, “Guess what this is?” I don’t want to know, my eyes watching the key wave back and forth. “This is where we’re gonna live.” Jim grins, “Just you and me. I’ll be perfect, we’ll let Medina visit on the weekends, we’ll have a cat. It’s by the beach and you’re gonna love it. One bedroom, of course.”

“What the fuck?” I breathe, “You aren’t serious?”

Jim’s grip on me tightens, “I’ve never been more serious about anything.”

“Where did you get the money to afford it?” I challenge, pushing his hands off. “Tell me, Jim.”

He giggles, falling back onto his heels. The key slips from his hands, “My Mom’s so stupid.” He says, “She leaves Dad’s black credit card just on the coffee table. Cause sweet, innocent Jim would never ever use it for anything.” Jim looks so triumphant, so pleased with himself. “We’re getting out, baby. You and me, we’ll be together forever.”

I make my move, surging for the front door. “Medina!”

Jim beats me to it, slamming my bedroom door shut and pinning himself against it. “Uh uh.”

I shove him, “Open the door right now.”

“You should be careful, Y/N.” Jim warns, “You don’t know who will try and take advantage of you when you’re parents are out.” Of course he knows they aren’t here. He’s been watching the house for days, creeping out my entire family. Jim smirks, “Date night at Beluca’s right?”

“Fuck you.” I hiss, “There is no way I am going to live with you in your fucked little fantasy.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Jim’s fingers play with my hair, “You belong to me, Y/N. You were always destined to be mine, just as you will always have me.” He leaves bites down my neck, his lips attacking me and sucking on every spare inch of skin he can find. “We’re gonna have the best life.” He murmurs, nuzzling into me, “We don’t need PV or school or anyone. Just each other and when we’re nice and settled I’m gonna fuck a baby into you. We’ll have the most beautiful children, a boy and a girl.” Jim pecks you on the lips, “Doesn’t it sound like heaven?”

Tag-list: @langdonsoceaneyes @sodanova @petersfern-fics @avesatanormalpeoplescareme @sassylangdon @confettucini @sammythankyou @wroteclassicaly @Sloppy-Wrist @Langdonalien @alexcornerblog @sevenwondr @queencocoakimmie @sojournmichael @langdonsdemon @satcnas @kinlovecody @kylosbabe @kylosbabe @americanhorrorstudies @asstichrist @tickled--pinkmoodpoisoning @xxpixiefromdixiexx @elenareginaauditore @dadddysprinccess @gremlinkween @langdonsinferno @readsalot73 @langdonsrapture @starwlkers @yourkingcodyfern @thelangdoncooperative @sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @sammythankyou

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jiminshoney · 6 years ago

Text

Where You Belong (Part 3)

Word Count: 10,773

Warnings: language, cheating, brief mentions of black mirror’s black museum episode (spoiler ig if you haven't seen it?), a cliffhanger, and angst but you knew that

[ tumblrs a jack*ss and links are broken, pls check my blog to catch up on the first three parts ]

Your body betrays you by waking you up agonizingly early, before your alarm has rung and before the sun has even had a chance to rise. The glaring numbers on your phone reveal that it’s barely 5 AM. You groan into the cushions beneath you, frustrated because you have to be at work in three hours and you were just robbed of a potentially meaningful last hour of sleep.

Opening a single eye to look back at the device’s bright screen, you can’t ignore the top notifications which continue to blink and beg for your attention. 15 missed calls and a somewhat impressive 28 unread texts all from Jungkook. It’s more than he sent in the month alone.

Your first thought is to ignore them, you want to ignore him, it’s too early to even think about processing what he has to say or replaying last night’s events. A sharp pain spreads through your chest, stretching until it meets your rib cage where there lies an almost forgotten void. There’s always those few seconds the morning after something terrible has happened, a moment of ignorant bliss, until your mind and heart remember and everything hurts again. The ache reminds you why last night went the way it did.

You don’t know that you can handle whatever he has to say, though you are curious...

Curious if someone who’s still in love and terrified of losing their girlfriend sends 28 texts and calls 15 times. Is that what it meant? Was he scared, desperate, remorseful? Or did he only offer a pathetic apology in twenty-something streams of the word sorry?

Driven by curiosity, you press a thumb to unlock your phone and open all the unread messages from last night.

From: jungkook♥ [5:19 PM]

Y/N

Can we please talk about this?

can you jus t come back please??

From: jungkook♥ [5:21 PM]

hello?

Y/N please answer

From: jungkook♥ [5:22 PM]

please pplease please

From: jungkook♥ [5:27 PM]

Where did you go

????

Im outside just tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:30 PM]

If not can tou answer?

Please answer the phone

From: jungkook♥ [5:32 PM]

fuck

Hello? Where did you go

Tell me where you are

From: jungkook♥ [5:33 PM]

Its fine if you decide to hate me for the rest of your life btu let me talk to yo about this first

Just give me a chance to explain everything

I mean there is no excuse but i wanna talk about this

From: jungkook♥ [5:35 PM]

pick up!!

From: jungkook♥ [5:37 PM]

I am begging you rn justsay something

Im outside, Please?

From: jungkook♥ [5:40 PM]

If its too soon i get it just let me see you for a second

If its too soon just tell me

but atleast tell m where you are?

From: jungkook♥ [5:45 PM]

Do you want the apartment? I’ll leave nd get a hotel

From: jungkook♥ [5:50 PM]

???

ffs just let me know you’re safe ok?

Please thats it

From: jungkook♥ [9:36 PM]

I love you y/n. Whenever you see this, you don’t have to call me back jus let me know that you’re somewhere safe alright?

“You love me? Right.” After a click of your tongue you chuck the phone back onto the table. Out of sight, out of mind, you think with a throw of the blanket over your head.

His messages didn’t offer any relief, all they’ve done is overwhelm and mildly irritate you because he acts as if you at least owe him the status of your location and quite frankly- you don’t owe him shit.

How dare he act worried about you and have the nerve to type out that disingenuous four-letter word like- I know you just found out my coworker sucked my dick but goodnight, love you. The audacity! Why should you have to tell him where you ran off to when he cheated on you and hid it for a week? Oh so well, as one may add, because there hadn’t been a sliver of suspicion. Had Taehyung not even been a factor, would he have ever told you? It’s unlikely and no one will ever know. It’s possible that he may have after much much time had passed, so maybe you’ll possibly tell him that you are in the safe confines of someone-who-actually-loves-you’s home… after much much time, of course.

All of this quickly reminds you that you don’t have any of your things. Your hygiene products, clean work clothes, fresh underwear, makeup, etc. You didn’t even have your purse after abruptly leaving your apartment.

A frustrated groan escapes you because now you must figure out how you’ll properly get ready for work the way you normally do. The last thing you wanted was to go back and run into Jungkook. Some days he left bright and early at 5:30 AM and you can take your chances and hope it’s one of those mornings, but it could just as likely be a day he’s decided to sleep in until 8. His app is finished so he shouldn’t have any standing reason to go in early, if not for the fact that he missed nearly a week of work, so he may. The odds were 50/50, it’s better to not risk it.

There’s also the option to call out of work, to stay in and sulk until an hour that he absolutely couldn’t be home, pack all your things and run away to a small town where nobody knows you until things get better. While tempting, you’re realistic and know that you cannot just uproot your life because you’re sad. The mere thought of having to go out and put on a brave face in front of the world today while you felt broken inside was tiring in itself, but sulking seemed exhausting. It wouldn’t make you feel any better, so you might as well go on like it’s any other work day. You could just shower here, pull your hair in a bun, stop at a Target for clothes and other necessities on the way and everything would be fine. At least you’d be able to busy your mind with something other than the fact the love of your life shit on a three year relationship for another woman no less.

-----

Around 9 AM, your work phone rings loudly against the desk. It sends your heart racing into a frenzy because the only person who ever called was your boss, and she only called for impromptu staff meetings or more specifically- to fire someone.

“Y/N~” To your surprise, the lobby receptionist’s voice sings at your pickup.

“Hyerin, good morning!” You smile, thankful that you aren’t losing your job too.

“You have a guest down here waiting for you.”

“What..?”

Your poor heart doesn’t get a chance to relax, there was only person who came to visit you at work. A person who shouldn't be visiting you right now.

“Mhmm! He brought you coffee~!”

“He?” Your jaw clenches, there could be no way. Jungkook could not be ridiculous enough to show up to your job first thing in the morning. He specifically said he understood if it was too soon for you! Why is he doing this? “I-- tell him I’m not in today!”

“He would know I’m lying!” Her hushed voice scratches against the receiver, tickling your eardrums uncomfortably.

“Then tell him I’m busy.”

“But he’s being so patient,” She says, her once melodious voice becoming sympathetic. “Shall I have him wait a few minutes?”

“Just tell him I don’t wanna see him, okay?”

“Oh but Y/N! I said he brought you coffee! Don’t be impolite and just come down, okay?”

Her end briefly goes silent before the endless dial tone beeps to indicate she’s hung up before you could utter another excuse. You mentally curse her because her greatest quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth, but her worst quality is that she’s the kindest person on earth and can’t tell unwanted guests to go away. In her defense, she doesn’t know that your boyfriend has been unloyal and you have a very valid reason for not wanting to see him.

On the way downstairs you are fully prepared to pour coffee over Jungkook’s head and curse him out for showing up to your place of work uninvited under the current circumstances. It’s disrespectful and he’s crossing a line by being here, you couldn’t wait to send him on his way. He couldn’t force you to talk if you didn’t want to. Though, that reaction would surely cause a scene. You will instead kindly let him know he’s being unprofessional and ask him to leave.

You practice the words again and again, it’s a must in order to not break the moment you face him. After all, the last time you saw him you were a bawling mess with mascara smearing on your fingertips and telling him you hated him while feeling like you might pass out. You couldn’t be the weak one this time.

Walking down the hall from the elevator your heart is still racing but you feel a sense of confidence even if it’s mild and fake, you’re just ready to get it over with. He’s leaning up against the front desk, distracted in a conversation with Hyerin as you approach. Heart thumping, the back of his head becomes clearer, strands of ash brown hair…

Your feet freeze against the marble flooring, “Taehyung?”

He swiftly turns at the sound of your voice, shoulders visibly relaxing when his eyes land on you. “Hey!” He pauses to turn, grabbing two concealed drinks off the edge of the reception desk, and closing the gap as he walks to you. “You left without saying anything.”

You should feel relieved but your mind and body hadn’t aligned, heart still shaken up over thinking he would be someone else. “Y-yea… I’m sorry. I left you a note, it was really early.”

“Oh! My fault, I didn’t see it. I came to make sure you’re okay.” He quirks a brow, letting you know his statement is indeed a question.

Not well given everything that’s happened, but that’s obvious. It wasn’t lunch time yet so it was possible in a few hours you’d be ready to slam your head into a wall but you’ve survived so far.

“I’m fine, Tae.”

His lips fall to an exaggerated frown, he is unconvinced and unimpressed by your attempt to not even sound dry. “How are you really, Y/N?”

You sigh, he would not be Taehyung if he didn’t at least try to get more from you. “Well… I’ve already cried once at my cubicle, I’m wearing $3 concealer that does nothing for the bags under my eyes, I have a minor headache and I just nearly had a heart attack because I thought you were Jungkook but other than that I’m okay, really.”

“You cried?”

You open your mouth to speak but get caught on an answer. Maybe you shouldn’t have slipped that part out not only because it’s embarrassing but now he’d just worry more than you knew he was. But it’s too late and the confession was made.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

A month or so after Jungkook you’d also gotten a job, specifically the one you had now. Like Jungkook it wasn’t at all what you wanted to do. The first few weeks after graduating were hard, all of the places you really wanted to work just weren’t calling back or would immediately send the dreaded thanks but no thanks email. Your mom had forced you to stop being so nit picky and apply wherever you could, passively sending you links to job openings she would spot online herself. Eventually you scored a job in the corporate world- lucky enough to make a decent amount of money, get home early, and not work weekends. Not so fortunately, you were stuck in some boring entry-level position in a finance department. It was the last thing on earth you wanted to be doing but you’d felt obligated to take it because up until that point your parents were helping with rent and other money related responsibilities.

The only person who really knew how you felt back then was Jungkook. At first you claimed it was different, like you’d said to him then, at least he was doing something related to his dream career. But no, really, he got it. He understood the fear you had of not being able to move away from this, the weight of life’s responsibilities, the overwhelming desire to just do what the hell you were passionate about, he knew it all too well.

On your first day of work he printed one of the hundred-something selfies you two had taken on graduation day and bought a frame for you to prop on your desk. He’d told you not to peak and to assemble it once you got to work, obviously you didn’t and couldn’t resist temptation, and the surprise was a short note he wrote on the back.

Baby, Congrats !!!

I know you’re not excited but I will be excited for you because I’m really proud of you still. You always remind me that bad days are temporary when I complain about work, ha ha, I want to remind you that too. I know nothing is perfect right now, a lot of things suck, but you still have me. I look forward to the future because I still have you. We may not have our dream jobs but we have each other so hopefully we can live our dream life soon. Just hang in there!

I love you more than anything - Jungkook

You couldn’t stop grinning the first time you’d read it. It was hard to find the words to say to him, hard to express your gratitude and how thankful you were you had him, you could only text him and say I love you so very much and that was enough for him.

Seeing that photo of your younger selves first thing in the morning was aggravating to say the least. You’d immediately slammed the frame down, picking at the back to take the pieces apart, intentions to tear the picture in half. But when you yanked it free from the slot and blue ink came to vision, you paused and read what he’d written less than a year ago. Tears were brimming before you realized. You didn’t have the guts to rip up the picture then, instead you shoved it in one of your drawers to be forgotten until you stumble upon it another day.

Taehyung looks at you worriedly, and it’s the same look he gave you yesterday before he turned your world upside down. A look you can now identify as the I-have-bad-news look.

“I saw Jungkook on my way here.”

“Okay?”

“He asked me if I’d heard from you.”

“Oh God... Taehyung please don’t tell me you told him I spent the night at your place.”

“I told him.”

“Why!? Why would you do that!?”

Hyerin’s only a few feet behind him, so as her head turns and her prying gaze briefly catches your eyes you glance around the two of you quickly, checking that no one else heard your brief outburst.

“I- I didn’t realize- I don’t know? I’m sorry?”

Taking a deep breath in you close your eyes to calm yourself. You don’t mean to yell at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong or gone against verbalized wishes. You know this. You’re just on edge, emotional, and you didn’t want Jungkook to know where you were.

“Is it because it’s me? You didn’t want him to know you were with me?” He asks.

“What? Taehyung, oh my God, no! It’s not about you.” You try not to raise your voice anymore, though you were sure you were probably scowling at him, annoyed with his assumptions.

“Forget I asked.” He’s good at keeping his voice level, manages to not react after you, but you can tell he’s just as annoyed with you when a muscle tenses in his jaw. “Which one do you want?”

He raises the two drinks in his hands, one’s holding a clear plastic cup with dark liquid chilled over ice, and in the other he has a large paper cup, presumably the same dark liquid but hot. It’s a harsh reminder that you’re being snappy with the wrong person. No matter how irritable you were, he didn’t deserve the back end of it. All he did was give to you, even now when you keep being rude to him.

“Tae, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s okay.”

“No, I’m sorry. I just got upset because… I’m not ready to talk to Jungkook and I don’t want him knowing where I am.”

“If you’re worried he’s gonna pop up on you, I don’t think it’s like that. He seemed really worried and I think he wanted to know you’re safe.”

Yeah, you think, that’s exactly what he said.

You finally take the hot coffee from his hand, finding a way to divert the conversation away from Jungkook.

“Thank you for this.”

“Of course. I have to leave soon. I’m shooting this guy for his acting portfolio. Then my friend is working a fashion shoot afterwards and invited me to help so I’m not sure when I’ll be done. I wanted to give you this.” With his free hand he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a shiny gold key. “Just got it copied.”

He smiles widely, giggling as you hesitantly take the key into your own hand. You don’t know why he’s gushing about this but it has butterflies floating in your stomach.

“Is this to your apartment?”

“Where else? I mean- this isn’t me asking you to be my roommate but... I wanted you to have somewhere to go even if I’m not home.”

“Tae! You didn’t need to go copy a whole key I- I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

-----

Taehyung’s apartment is empty when you get there after work, and while it’s not surprising because he did say he had work you still feel disappointed. Leaving work you were eager to get some alone time, but not like this.

All your coworkers actually showed up today, and being that it was the day after New Year’s, everyone wanted to talk about how great their New Year went. The universe was making a mock out of you, you were sure of it. A few of the girls priorly knew about your plans with Jungkook and had hopeful heart eyes as they asked about the cruise, and while the actual night was fine, yesterday was not something you even wanted to think about.

You’d always find a way out, excusing yourself to go make copies or apologizing because “I really need to finish writing this report.” Your sweet coworkers, they understood. Saying, “Right, I need to respond to a few emails” before running back to their own cubicles and leaving you alone. That is until a new question popped in their mind that’d have them strolling back over.

You were the only woman in your office with a standing long-term relationship, they all loved to live vicariously through you while struggling with their own love lives. You knew you’d break their hearts when you’d finally have to tell them the truth. At least for today, you omitted that bit of the story. Not only for their sake, but also for yours. It’s embarrassing to say the least.

You’re not sure yet what it says about you to be someone who got cheated on. Will people wonder what you did to push him that far? Will they pity you? Will they figure you must be a bad girlfriend and did something wrong?

Did you do something wrong?

Making your way to the kitchen you decide to scavenge Taehyung’s fridge for something to eat. Your stomach started grumbling a few hours ago after you made the silly choice of skipping lunch. Looking back, you’re not sure why you did because the persistent headache you’ve had since morning is likely due to the fact that you haven’t ate anything. Unfortunately for you and your pain his fridge is empty of anything edible, only stocked with a carton of milk, a pack of bottled water and a single bottle of wine.

“How do men survive like this?” You mutter, deciding to at least continue to hydrate your organs if you couldn’t feed them. You slump onto a chair at his small dining table thinking, Jungkook’s fridge would also look like that if it weren’t for me.

Across from you, his shiny macbook seems to wave hello, and beyond that you notice his camera bag is on the chair. If his camera is here then he can’t be at a photo shoot right now. Unless his friend told him not to bring it, then again why would you tell a photographer not to bring their camera? It’s possible he’s already been home, but you haven’t a clue where he’d be now.

The laptop shimmers in the light, begging for your attention once more, quietly reminding you about the interesting contents it holds.

“I know.” You grumble aloud. More to yourself because you are aware it’s an inanimate object that can’t actually communicate and it’s your own conscious taunting you. Yes, the pictures, I know.

The tempting voice asks if you’re even a little bit curious, if there’s a small part of you that wants to know what Taehyung saw in Jungkook that night? How he knew it before you, how he knows when he doesn’t even really know. It’s in the pictures like he’d said, and you could easily pass your fingertips over the smooth surface, you could open the lid, you could see for yourself.

But wouldn’t that be an invasion of privacy? Snooping through his laptop while he’s not even here just to see the way Jungkook interacts with some girl feels selfish and wrong. He probably has a lock on there anyway.

Oh but dear, the laptop says, he wanted you to see them after all! You could look through his camera, they might still be there. Taehyung wouldn’t mind at all! You should check!

It’s tempting, you think back, but I don’t know…

Don’t you wanna see the face of the woman who he found room in his heart for?

The words are way too personal, a blatant throw back of Jungkook’s confession. Another reminder that you definitely aren’t talking to a laptop and this is just conflicting dialogue in your own head.

Maybe there is a part of you that wants to know. It’ll probably hurt but you won’t stop wondering if you never look. Even just once.

You move from one seat to the other, placing his bag onto the table carefully. You’re gentle as you pull the Canon from it’s compartment, the weight of it shifting into both palms reminds you that if you do anything wrong your friend just might kill you because this baby costs (literal) thousands.

Thankfully, as the camera comes to life his, presumably, last photo taken appears on the small square screen which means you don’t have to press a million buttons just to find what you’re looking for. You scroll through the first photos, dozens of group shots of people wearing different hot pink garments, wondering briefly what the photo shoot was for. Eventually you land on close up photos of a younger guy, the head shots for Taehyung’s friend, you’re close. Until finally, there’s a photo of an older man and woman holding two thumbs up, the festive backdrop giving away they’re at a holiday party.

This is it.

You take a moment before continuing to scroll, preparing yourself mentally because you aren’t sure when you will finally land on a picture of the two in search, but you will reach them and when you do, you must contain your emotions.

It’s fine, it’ll be fine.

Moving on, you’re slower this time, carefully scanning each passing photo to be sure not to miss Jungkook. The first few ones, or rather last several, are group shots with the same old man as before, until they become more candid.

The first time you spot him, he’s in the background giving some guy a hug.

There’s another photo of him at a table, not alone, but not speaking to anyone. He’s completely unaware that he’s being captured in the background which makes his oblivious doe-like daze a little adorable. He’s so cute, you think. Also oblivious to the smile that’s perked on your lips.

That is until you skip to the next photo and noticeably feel it drop when you finally see her. Somehow, you just know. There’s a second woman in the photo who seems to be talking with her hands, Lia’s smiling and making eye contact, but Jungkook’s eyes are on Lia.

You pass it, moving onto something else. There’s another. This time, they’re the focus of the photo, sitting at a table with another you haven’t met, all engaged in laughter.

You skip a few more, until the next one with them is again in the background. He’s smirking but you can’t see her face because she’s sat at an angle and her hair’s in the way.

The next photo is captured from behind, but you know it’s them because of her red dress and the fact you can recognize Jungkook from any angle by now. One arm around his shoulder and her head leaning into him, what warranted her to come this close?

You pass many, many more photos until you see them again. A posed picture, with the same guy from the laughing one, and like this you can really get a good look at her. You’re not too prideful to admit that she is beautiful and she holds an enticing look in her eyes. Maybe that’s her special feature, but other than that what’s special about her? Past the pretty face and perfect smile, what separates her from you? What was there under her surface? How’d she win over Jungkook?

The next pictures you go through are mostly boring, just photos of everyone at the party eating and conversing. But there’s one common factor in all of them with Lia and Jungkook, he was always looking at her. Most of the time smiling while he did so. And most of that time, she was looking at him too.

There’s something obvious there, that maybe Taehyung also saw, they have a connection. That, even if you hadn’t known him, you would think they had something going on too with all the ridiculous googly eyes. But with that, because you know him, there’s something else you see- That he is absolutely fascinated by her, drawn to her, intrigued. Whatever special thing she possessed, he’s latched onto it and it’s pulled him away from you.

Tears begin to well and you have to set the camera down to wipe them away harshly. It’s annoying, this marks the third time today, and if you let yourself cry now it’ll only worsen your headache into a migraine. You don’t want to cry over him, he doesn’t deserve it. Crying means you care and well, obviously you care. You love him, but he doesn’t deserve that either. Why should you still love him after what he’s done to you?

It’s useless to keep rubbing your eyes, your knuckles pointlessly tug the skin just for them to become wet again. You didn’t want to cry but your body was intent on releasing it’s frustration.

It’s not fair that after so much time together this other person just gets to come in and move his heart- quite literally, like he said, making room inside of it. It’s not fair that just two months ago he said to you he couldn’t see himself with anybody else just to fall for another girl who knows how long after. Maybe it’d happened before he even said it. The fact that he was willing to explore how he felt about her should’ve been a dead giveaway that he was in denial at the time. Maybe you were too.

Could it be that she’s the reason your relationship spiraled in the first place? After he started work that’s when the distance between you two started to extend. There were a lot of other things you thought it could be. You thought he was depressed over the new job, closed off from you because he was closed off to the world. And at the time, you tried your best to be the optimistic one. You tried to lift his spirits and be encouraging but maybe it wasn’t enough. Where did you go wrong? Where did you fail at making him happy?

Why weren’t you enough?

You desperately want to know what it is about her- what is it that Lia has and you don’t?

Is it all because he felt you weren’t reciprocating his efforts to fix things? Maybe you didn’t try hard enough. You should’ve done more- you should’ve been more affectionate and caring. You should’ve loved him better.

You flinch at the soft thud of the door closing, jumping out of your seat because it’s startled you. It’s just Taehyung, standing there silently with a harsh expression of worry.

“You were crying.” He says plainly, a hint of guilt in his tone.

“No.” You lie, wiping your face once more and forcing a laugh.

He shakes his head as he makes his way to you, setting a white to-go box on the table before standing in front of you.

“You think I’m stupid? Your eyes are red.” His voice is unnecessarily gentle as he cups your face in both hands, thumbs wiping away left over traces of tears. The sound of his voice alone makes your entire chest warm- you hate it. “Also, I saw you.”

“I’m fine.” You push his hands away because his affections are way too much for your weakened heart to handle. He seems displeased. “What’d you get?”

He glances at the table and then back to you. The pierce of his brown eyes makes your lungs constrict, even his gaze is difficult to hold.

“Fried chicken. You saw the pictures?”

“O- y-yea…” You force yourself to look away- if you breathe properly maybe you can talk without sounding like a moron. “I’m really sorry for going through your things I just got curious and I shouldn’t have but that’s-”

“It’s okay, Y/n.” He assures you, “Are you okay?”

Your mouth forms to say yes and he already knows the lie to come, fixing his question before you can.

“I mean you’re not okay. I’m asking if you wanna talk about it.”

“It’s okay.” There were too many layers to uncover, between your emotions and the pictures and your anniversary and what really happened at that party, “It’s a lot.”

He shrugs at your words like they don’t matter, “I’ve got some time. And I’ve got food.”

“Tae-”

“Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just confused. But I don’t want to ramble and get upset.”

“Why are you confused?”

“I just… I don’t understand Jungkook. I don’t understand why he likes that girl. I don’t understand why I wasn’t good enough. I don’t understand why he was so good to me if there was someone else, even after what happened, all the way until I found that he fucking let her-” You stop there, unsure what words to use to explain what happened other than the disgusting frank description that was there in your mind. Your stomach was already churning, you couldn’t say it.

“He let her…?”

“They… you know…” You vaguely wave your hands between your bodies, back and forth from the direction of your mouth to his crotch, hoping he caught on to the innuendo and wouldn’t force you to be explicit. He’d already successfully tricked in you into saying more than you originally wanted to.

“Ahh, wow um…” Surprised, he understands, but uncertain with himself if that’s really what you meant. If only he knew just how bad it gets.

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, alright.” He holds his hands up defensively, letting the topic go at once.

At some point over the last few months he’d stopped being passive and tried harder to pry information out of you when you were being closed off. Not too forcefully, but it was silently appreciated. You’d become grateful for his willingness to listen to whatever was weighing on your mind no matter the topic, it was always followed with thoughtful responses and advice. Now though, it’s a bit more frustrating. Something about this was different. This was not something that was easy to open up about and you wished he would say OK and let it be.

You know there’s an elephant in the room and at some point the healthy thing to do will be talking about it and having that conversation with him, your closest friend, but today wasn’t it.

He makes his way to the farthest side of the table, “Well, I’ll have to eat dinner with you quickly because I have to go check on a tenant downstairs. Their heater isn’t working and as you can imagine in the middle of winter they aren’t happy about it.”

“If you have business to take care of it’s fine. I need to go back to my apartment anyway to grab some things before Jungkook gets home and then find a hotel somewhere.”

“You’re being ridiculous, you don’t need a hotel. And you should at least eat first.”

“It’s okay, I’m not hungry.” Your prolonged headache would beg to differ but you didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. You’re not sure how to respond to his first remark because it’s obvious you don’t have anywhere else to stay. You’d stay here, but only if he offered. You weren’t going to ask since you had no plan and it’d be quite the favor to ask someone to crash at their place for an indefinite period of time. “Ah, also, I don’t have my key… would you mind helping me get in?”

“Not at all.” A moment of silence drags on for a minute too long as he stares at you sadly, worrying his bottom lip, until he speaks up again. “You sure you don’t want to eat something?”

“I’m sure.”

With that, he heads over to the cabinet below the kitchen sink and pulls out of a bulky rectangular safe. Upon unlocking it there’s nearly a hundred keys organized on rows of hooks- a key to every room in the entire complex. He plucks yours straight from the center and then begins to count towards the bottom before he pulls another one.

After locking everything back up and putting it in it’s discreet place he places the keys in your hands silently. One reads 503, the other 705.

“What is this?”

“There’s a furnished room on the top floor. It’s clean, it’s got running water and it’s all yours.”

“Huh?”

“We only use it for tours because it has extra square footage compared to the other one bedrooms- don’t tell anybody that. Also, please do not lose these because if Mr.Lee finds out I’m doing this-”

“I understand!” You sputter, gripping the cold metal tightly. “Thank you, Taehyung.”

He beams at you, “It’s no problem. You still have a key here so don’t feel like you’re not welcome to visit.”

To visit, right, not to stay.

You weren’t going to ask him, no, but you do feel disappointed that he hadn’t offered. And maybe that’s selfish of you to think considering he’s risking his job just to offer you a private place of comfort and here you are wondering why you can’t stay with him.

You can’t help but feel this is his subtle way of getting rid of you, which is fair, your moodiness is probably annoying. Still, he’s being nothing but kind and going out of his way for you, and yet for some reason it’s all making you sad.

-----

It’s been exactly 10 days since you’ve seen Jungkook, which is impressive considering you both return home to the same complex every day and have yet to cross paths. For the first time ever you were thankful for the difference in your schedules, by now assuming that he was likely back to his usual 10 AM to 6 PM shift and that’s why you two hadn’t. But, you’d be a liar if you said you didn’t wish to see him every day.

There were countless times you had to stop yourself from calling him, thinking I just want to see how he’s doing. In the morning, on the way to work, in the evening, on the train, at night- especially at night, especially when you had to lay in bed alone. Other times you instinctively pressed for 5 on the elevator, only remembering you were on the wrong level when the doors opened to familiarity, you would consider for a moment getting off and just going back home, but deep down you knew better than to make that mistake. Your self control was also impressive.

In your own defense, your moments of weakness were absolutely valid, you two had been inseparable since that first day of sophomore year over three years ago, you never went more than two days without seeing each other. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was the winter break before you started dating, and his family’s week long vacation two summers ago, but you still talked every day so it’s not the same.

This last year in particular your lives were built around each other- you freaking moved in together. Every day for a year you woke up and he was there, you went to sleep and he was there, right next to you. Even your body knew that something was missing as it tossed and turned at night, falling asleep had become difficult. Unless you cried, but you tried to minimize that to every other day.

The spacious apartment did not help your loneliness either, you tried to find comfort and treat it like a get away, but really it was unfamiliar and lacked personal touch. You didn’t even feel like a guest in someone else’s home, the space felt outside of reality, outside of your norm.

The only time things didn’t feel so odd were when you were with Taehyung. In his space he provided the consistent comfort you craved. The only problem was that the past week just so happened to be a week he was packed with gig after gig after gig. He’d been very busy with his photography and while he did his best to call you throughout the days and make sure you were simply surviving, the physical time you spent together had dwindled down significantly. Another hard pill to swallow since you’d gotten used to seeing him every day too.

Your loneliness was becoming suffocating.

Thankfully tonight some of the girls from your job made dinner plans that you were included in, which turned into an impromptu trip to a nearby karaoke bar afterwards. It was a nice break away from your usual routine to go out and spend time with friends rather than sitting inside alone on a Friday night. It was also the most you’d laughed all week.

Your plan for when you got back to the apartment complex was to go straight inside, change out of your work clothes, quickly go through your bedtime routine before your mind had a chance to start wandering through every reason you had to be sad, and go to sleep. That all becomes impossible the second you step into 705 and are welcomed by it’s freezing cold draft, it feels like you’ve just stepped back outside into the winter night.

The thermostat claims the heat is on, set to 70 degrees, but the current indoor temperature reads as 42 degrees fahrenheit.

“Jesus Christ, not me.” You groan at the ceiling, letting your bag thump to the ground before bending over to fish for your cell phone.

To: Tae [9:42 PM]

Please tell me you’re home :(

You hold the phone in your hand for a few minutes, waiting for his message to pop up on the screen but his reply is not immediate. You begin to worry because he’s typically a quick responder as long as he’s not working, and though it’s late maybe he was still at a shoot, or he also decided to go out tonight. Either way, you’d have to figure out what to do because there was no way you could sleep in this place tonight.

From: Tae [9:47 PM]

I’m here

Sorry about that I was making tea

what’s up angel?

A-Angel?

You’re not sure that he’s ever called you that before and don’t know where it’s come from and your face may be heating up at the pet name but there’s more important matters at hand.

To: Tae [9:48 PM]

Uhh hate to bother you but… I think the heaters broken

From: Tae [9:48 PM]

Nooo You’re the third person this week :(

From: Tae [9:49 PM]

I’m sorry, do you wanna sleep here?

Do you even have to ask?

---

When you arrive downstairs moments later he welcomes you in with a tight hug, as if it’s been months since he’s seen you but it’s only been three days. Regardless, the affection is much needed as you’ve been deprived of all physical forms, you feel yourself wanting to reach back out as he pulls away.

“I still have hot water, do you want me to make you some tea?”

“Hm, I’m okay, but thank you.” You were still fairly stuffed from dinner and the several virgin margaritas you enjoyed during karaoke.

Leaving your bags in the living room, you follow his path into the kitchen. Sure enough, there’s a kettle on the counter next to a small box and mug, he moves quickly to clean up the small mess and put things back into their place.

“Well since you’re here, do you want to watch a movie or anything? I think there’s a new episode of that weird sci-fi show you like.”

“First of all if you’re talking about Black Mirror, it’s not weird, but yes there’s a new interactive movie.”

He glances back to roll his eyes at you before dusting scraps into the trash bin. “You made me watch an episode where they trapped someone’s consciousness into a teddy bear… it’s a little weird.”

“There was so much to take away from that episode and that’s still all you talk about!”

When season four had first come out, you and Jungkook nearly finished it within a week, but life got in the way and you never got a chance to finish. One day you decided to just complete the season without him and enjoy the finale with Taehyung who’d never seen the show. You thought it’d be fun, thinking he’d provide insightful commentary, instead, he couldn’t get passed how cruel it was a character couldn’t express sadness beyond “Monkey needs a hug.”

“Would you rather talk about the guy who literally got off on murdering someone?”

“He-- no, please.”

He’s smiling as he walks back over to you and you can’t help but giggle because okay it is kind of weird and maybe you should’ve chosen a different episode to introduce him to but it was still really good!

“I’ll let you show me another episode, preferably one less dark.”

For whatever reason, he pulls your head against his chest to rest his own atop yours and wraps you back into his warmth. This time your heart immediately starts to race, nervous about the random affection, though your arms don’t hesitate to wrap around him either.

“It’s okay, I actually just wanna go to sleep.”

“Oh… okay...” He holds you tighter, sounding a bit disappointed.

You squeeze him back, a way of silently apologizing. You expect him to pull away then, but he doesn't, and neither do you because even with a jumping heart being like this was too comfortable. He was always so warm, and so cuddly, and his clothes always smelled like lavender. Which would confuse your brain at first when you’d get a whiff of him, the light fragrance so contrasting to that of your favorite- a warm blend of citrus notes and amber on Jungkook- but you also adored whatever floral fabric softener Taehyung used because you found it calming. In fact, you could stand here forever because the combination of all he had to offer was that relaxing. So relaxing that you can’t help but ask-

“Tae…” You release your hold so that you can step back and look at him but he doesn’t let you go, only slides his hands to the lower part of your back providing enough space for eye contact, responding with a yes? “Can I… sleep in your bed tonight?”

“I guess so? I don’t mind taking the couch.”

“No, I mean, with you.”

“Uh-” You catch the way his eyebrows almost raise with widening eyes before he can stop the reaction. You worry about the implications of your words.

“Unless it’s weird. Is that weird? I’m sorry.”

“No!” His hands abruptly fall away, swiping at the back of high thighs as he creates room between you two. “Not at all, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m- it’s just hard sleeping alone, you know?”

“Y-yeah, it’s alright.”

Not long afterwards, after you both had changed and freshened up, you found yourself sitting up in Taehyung’s bed with your back against the wall. It seems silly to you now that you’ve never slept together let alone even stepped foot in his bedroom. But before all this, things were different, and even though you’re only friends it definitely would’ve been inappropriate taking all things into consideration- Taehyung’s feelings, your relationship, maybe even your fleeting non-platonic thoughts about him.

Now, you don’t question it too much, it’s not inappropriate or weird. You’re the only one making it a little weird because you keep thinking about the fact that Taehyung still likes you, or at least you assume so, and that he could use this opportunity to make a move on you. Deep down you know he would never, he’s too respectable for that. Maybe you’d let him- ONLY because you’re vulnerable! He knows that. Which is why he shouldn’t, he’d be taking advantage of that. He won’t, but you still wonder if he will. Even as he rambles on about the earl grey tea his mom bought from Europe, a small yet very expensive Christmas present. There’s a reason why this French tea company is so special, but you wouldn’t know because see, you’re being weird.

How Jungkook would feel about all of this? What’s he up to anyway?

“Y/N? Are you listening to me?”

You’re startled by the sound of your name, but you nod furiously. “Of course, Tae. You were saying your mom and… amazing French company, great story!”

He shakes his head disapprovingly, “That’s how I know you weren’t paying attention. My mom bought the tea in France but it’s a Singaporean company!”

“Oh, see! I was close! I just missed that one little tidbit.”

He squints his eyes at you, knowing you’re telling a tale. Letting out an exaggerated sigh he rotates on his side to face you and props his elbow to rest his head in his palm. “Alright, what’s wrong? Spill the tea. No pun intended.”

“I know you’ll think I’m an idiot but I’m gonna say it. I miss Jungkook.”

“No I won’t!” He sits up fully in bed, seeing that the thoughts that plague you are deeper than he anticipated. He mirrors your image, crossing his legs before reaching to hold both your hands. “First of all you’re not an idiot and I would never think so little of you. It’s okay if you miss Jungkook, it’s expected. You don’t just forget about someone you love overnight or even within a week.”

Was that true, though?

“Why not? He did.”

Whether in the blink of an eye or months before you realized, he’d forgotten about you, forgotten what you meant to him, forgotten what you two had. Or is it that he didn’t love you anymore and that’s what made you so easy to forget?

“Didn’t I already tell you he’s a dumbass?” He grins, but you can’t find it in you to laugh, the insult doesn’t even make you feel the slightest bit better.

He sighs, rubbing his thumbs over the back of your hands. “Can I ask you something?”

You nod.

“Do you want to save your relationship?”

Your hands pull away, not because of him, but almost as if to brace yourself for the weight of reality as you press them into the bed on either side of you. You hadn’t really thought about that, your thought process never got that far. Would Jungkook even want that?

“I don’t know that it's possible. Jungkook told me he likes Lia, and if that’s true, then it’s serious. He isn’t easily swayed by pretty faces.”

Taehyung snorts, “Who said anything about her being pretty?”

Your arch a brow at him, unsure if he’s trying to insinuate something. “Well I saw her, she is pretty but… that’s just it, that's not the point. He actually needs to get to know someone if he’s gonna pursue them. I told you before how in college there were so many girls interested in him and he didn't like any of them. Not even me. Not until he knew me.”

“And now he likes her…”

“Exactly.”

“But that’s not what I asked. Put him aside for a moment and stop thinking about what he feels. What is it that you want?” He asks, pressing a finger into your knee.

What I want? That is still a lot to consider. A lot that you haven’t gone over. You’ve only focused on the current distance between the two of you, and keeping it that way until you felt strong enough to face him. You’ve only gone through past memories, you hadn’t thought of what the future held nor what you wanted it to.

“I don’t know, Tae. It sounds ridiculous but I can’t envision my life without him. The idea of going back to him feels daunting because I don’t know how to forgive him for what he did or how to trust him after this. Or even, how I could allow myself to love him. I don’t have answers but it’s like if I don’t then what? Where do I go and who do I become?”

“You don’t become anyone, if not just a better version of yourself. You don’t need him to have a complete identity.”

“That’s easy for you to say-”

“I know it’s easy for me to say,” His rebuttal is sharp, almost defensive. “No I didn’t just spend the last three years of my life with someone just for them to shit all over our history, but I’m right. You were somebody long before you even met him and you will still be somebody without him, if you choose to let him go.”

“I know that, but it’s not just easy for me to say, okay, bye Jungkook, and go on and be content with being alone.”

“You think you’d be alone?”

“Well, yes?”

It all circles back to what you first said, you can’t envision life without him. Even if you try, there’s nothing there, you, but nothing more. Maybe that should be enough, but that blank image in your mind feels empty, life would be lackluster and dull, something would always be missing.

“That’s not true.” He looks down for a moment, finding a loose string on his comforter to tug on. “You have me.”

At that, and as his eyes finds yours, the air in the room starts to thicken. The statement feels too direct. You know he means that as a reminder of his loyal friendship, you know it’s his way of saying hey I’m here, but it feels like something more.

“As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have me.”

“Hm, like forever.” Your own gaze slips away this time, unable to stop yourself from chuckling at the boundless promise of his words. An older version of you may have believed him, a version of you that believes love is timeless, the version of you with a committed boyfriend. You want to believe him because Taehyung is honest, he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. But words like this have been spoken truthfully to you before and look where it’s brought you.

“Jungkook and I are not the same.” It’s almost embarrassing how well Taehyung knows you, how spot on he is about what you’re thinking. “There was a point in time Jungkook couldn’t even see you, he didn’t see you then and he doesn’t see you now. Me?” He stops himself, you can tell by his tone that he knows he’s crossing a line again, about to walk past usual boundaries, about to say something he couldn’t have said before today, but he says it anyway. “The way I’ve felt about you has never changed. Every day I still feel what I felt the day I first met you… Even when you’ve confused me, even when you’ve cursed me, even when you’ve pushed me away, even when you defined the line in the sand and made it clear we could never be more than friends, even when you don’t see me… I feel it. So yes, like forever.”

You’re too afraid to look at him because you think you might crack the way you once had months ago, when a flood of emotion for him overtook you, when you considered giving into him.

“And I’m not asking you to- I’m not saying anything other than I’ve come with you this far and… whatever you do, nothing's gonna change.”

You have no words for him, nothing coherent, at least for now. You nearly throw yourself at him, sprouting up from your position on the left side of the bed to wrap your arms around his neck. He reacts quickly, thankfully, because as he falls sideways onto the mattress with a huff you realize you could’ve sent him tumbling backwards to the floor which would’ve been bad for the both of you.

You feel the soft laughter rumble beneath his chest as he tightens his hold around you, “Thank you?”

You’re overwhelmed with both gratitude and frustration, so much so that you think you could cry. How did you get so damn lucky to have this man in your life? It wasn’t fair. Logically, and karmically, it was not fair. Even as he said and listed reasons he’s had to pull back, to change his mind, to drop you, he hasn’t. He genuinely loves and supports you unconditionally and you don’t know how the hell that happened or why but there’s one thing you are certain of.

You are more than lucky, you are blessed to have Taehyung. And you hope that this friendship is eternal because you can’t imagine having to lose him too.

----

“Do you remember the first time we ate here?”

“Of course I do.”

You’d spent the first half of your Saturday lounging in bed, or rather Taehyung’s bed, all by yourself because he’d had an early morning shoot for… something you don’t remember because you were half asleep when he’d said. You’d stayed that way for a while, grumpily, because you were starving and too lazy to go out and eat and too stubborn to order delivery. By lunch time when your hunger hit peak aggravation you sent him a very aggressive text message in all caps to PLEASE BUY SOME FUCKING GROCERIES YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE BREAD. He promptly responded with a slew of laughing emojis, then letting you know he was already ten minutes away and to meet him downstairs.

He’d taken you the short walk to the taco truck around the corner, the very first place you hung out, a very telling choice after what he said last night.

“You never did thank me for showing you the best taco place in town.” He flicks at his bangs dramatically, turning a shoulder to you in faux offense.

“That’s because it’s not. I mean, it’s good but my favorite is this restaurant up north.”

“Why have you never taken me then?”

“They closed down last summer.”

“Must not have been too good.” He looks at you pointedly, flicking at his silky strands once more. You raise a fist, pretending like you might hit him, though you’re laughing at his obnoxiousness.

“I promise, you would’ve loved it.”

Just then, a lady pokes her head out from the wide window, calling your name for your order. Taehyung is first to run over and grab the small bag, though you take it back from him, offering to carry it on the walk back.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What was your first impression of me?”

“Oh…” His question comes as a surprise, but you don’t think much of it, reflecting back to the day last spring. The very first time you met. “I thought you were very polite.”

“What about the first time we ate back there?”

“Well,” That question takes a little bit more digging. You have to remember the things you talked about that night, how you felt, how he seemed. “You seemed so… so… normal. Like, before that, I guess I kind of put you on a pedestal, I don’t know. You just seemed so composed and confident and like you had everything together but then we talked and you opened up to me and it was like ah, we’re not so different. It was refreshing.”

You look over to him and smile, he smiles, but he keeps his gaze towards to concrete as you continue up the block.

“Why do you ask? What was your first impression of me?”

“That you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.”

You instantly stop in your tracks, it takes him a second to register but when he does the balls of his feet scratch against the gravel as he turns around.

“Stop it.” You say, squinting your eyes suspiciously at him because why is he trying to flirt and joke around right now it’s making me blush! “Tell me.”

“That’s it?” Even his eyes frown at you, confused why you won’t accept his answer.

You roll your eyes and push past him, taking a right at the corner as you continued ahead. His legs are long so it doesn’t take anything of him to catch up, and he asks why you don’t believe him.

“I thought you were attractive but I gave you a better answer than that.”

“Wait-” He takes a few skips to jump in front of you, forcing you to come to another stop as he blocks the way. “You thought I was attractive?”

“What? I said you were handsome.”

“No, you said attractive.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows.

Oh my God, did I?

“I- it doesn’t matter, it’s basically the same thing.”

You step right, he steps left, you step left, he steps right, refusing to let you go around while he dons a ridiculous smirk that you try really hard not to look at.

“What!”

“Don’t you wanna know my first impression?”

“...yes.”

“Don’t judge me.” He points a finger at you, waiting on your nod before he continues, tucking his hand back into his coat pocket. “When we were standing in the elevator together, my heart was beating so fast because I was so nervous, but I thought you were mean! You kept giving me short answers and you glared at me when I was just trying to be helpful!”

“Come on, you asked me where I lived, give me a break.”

He giggles, “I was just nervous and talking out of order. But then you relaxed after I told you who I was, and you even laughed at something I said and…”

“And…?”

“I felt really warm. My heart, my insides,” One hand moves from the left side of his chest then down to his abdomen. You can see that he hesitates, biting on the corner of his lip nervously, but he looks back to you and sees the harsh expression on your face. “It’s stupid.” He forces a laugh and continues to walk home. You’re only about 10 yards away, the front entrance is visible not far beyond him.

He’s misread your reaction, misunderstood your furrowed expression. You weren’t frowning at him because of judgement or because you thought it was stupid, you were frowning out of pure confusion because he’d described the same feeling he’s given to you.

And it was so simple, such a simple feeling, a simple word. But, warm, yes, you understood. You felt it too that very first day, you felt it the first time you hung out. You feel it when he looks at you, when he talks, when he hugs you, just being next to him in itself was like sitting by a fire. You were never sure what it was or what it meant, you never looked too much into it, but if the sentiment was mutual shouldn’t you tell him you feel it too?

You run ahead to catch up, he’s still standing outside the door, presumably waiting for you to go inside.

Taehyung had said before that you always know what to say, but you disagree. Maybe when it comes to uplifting others kind words come naturally, but you aren’t good with words themself, at least not when it comes to sharing and expressing your emotions.

That is precisely why you cup his face into your hands as he turns to you, unbothered by the tacos that get smushed somewhere between your arm and his chest, raising onto the balls of your feet and pulling him down the distance you couldn’t close to press your lips into his.

You’re not entirely sure why you’re kissing Taehyung, or rather you can’t explain why. It’s impulsive but it feels right as that familiar feeling overtakes your entire chest, replacing the vacant ache you’d grown accustomed to over the last week and a half and overwhelming you with so much desire for more. And at first, he gives in to you. His gentle hands find your hips, head turning as his mouth opens in sync with yours to deepen the kiss.

In that moment you place words on the purpose. Kissing him said way more than your grateful hugs ever could, and that was all you’d done before. But this wasn’t even about saying thank you, this was about admitting that maybe you felt the exact same way. This was easier than facing the fact that there really was no reason to keep suppressing your emotions. But then he abruptly pulls away, eyes wide as he sounds frightened when he says your name.

Your heart sinks because he’s looking at you like you’ve just done something you should not have done. Heat creeps up over your ears, this time because you’re actually uncomfortable, completely embarrassed because maybe you just made a mistake.

Your open your mouth to say something but nothing comes out, stuck on shock, you don’t know how to even begin saying sorry.

“Jungkook is inside.”

Wait… what?

If you couldn’t speak before, you definitely couldn’t now as all the air escapes your lungs, frozen and unable to breathe. You want to believe that you heard him wrong, or that he didn’t even say Jungkook’s name. But you’re too terrified to even look and confirm. You still aren’t ready, you don’t know what feelings will come up just by seeing him. Worst of all, you don’t know if Jungkook just watched you kiss Taehyung and you cringe at the thought.

You look right, and sure enough, on the other side of the clear glass Jungkook stands there just feet away looking right at you. The way your heart picks up speed is almost painful, you can tell by the disgruntled look on his face he’s seen everything.

TBC

#taehyung scenarios #jungkook scenarios #bts scenarios #taehyung x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic

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