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𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒆𝒕 ✧ 𝒅. 𝒔.
pairing: drew starkey x f!reader
warnings: miscarriage but its so fluffy yall :((
word count: 1.2k
a/n: this is so shitty y’all i’m sorry djfjdk
pls he looks so cute here
when you said you wanted him to enjoy the moment with his family, he thought it was strange, but he didn’t argue. you’ve always understood how close he is to his family, and this moment in his career is important, you want him to celebrate with his parents, siblings, and closest friends.
you’ve only been together for a short time, and you’re not close enough to his family to be at family gatherings, you don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.
“we can celebrate later, just you and me.” you said, sealing your promise with a kiss, before you left his apartment, three days ago.
drew found it strange, but he thought you were just giving him space, which he appreciated. after a lot of family celebration, he went to your place, ready to spend at least a whole weekend, which you loved. there’s so much to talk about.
when you think about it, you didn’t think this thing with drew would go as far as it has been, because his schedule is chaotic and so is yours. when you first met, he was about to go to morocco to shoot outer banks, but he kept texting, calling.
“i know this is kinda all over the place right now, but i wanna see where this is going. do you?”
“i do.”
and that was it. you knew then and there, with only three weeks of dating (online dating for the most part), that you were in love. he’s so sweet, and so silly, too. somehow, you trust him. after being let down so many times, he’s made you feel safe from day one.
you’re not scared to tell him.
you’re on your bed, just waiting for him to get out of the shower. you’re barely paying attention to the tv, you’re just mindlessly scrolling through reels on your instagram, just waiting.
he comes out, shirtless, with damp hair and wearing the sluttiest thing a man can wear - black boxers that fit him just right. he’s such a beautiful man.
“d’you wanna take a picture?” he jokes when he catches you staring.
“you do it on purpose, don’t you?”
“of course i do.”
he gets under the covers and immediately latches onto you, resting his head on your chest. all he really wants is to feel you near him. it turns out, he wanted you with his family. he wanted you there, he wanted to properly introduce you to his loved ones, but maybe you’re not ready and he’ll give you all the time you need.
“i’ve missed you so much,” he says, his voice muffled by your skin.
you smell like french vanilla, and he loves that scent on you. he delights himself in your touch, when your nails lightly scratch his scalp and the nape of his neck.
“i’ve missed you, too. very much.”
he smiles against your skin and takes a long, deep breath, finally allowing his body to relax.
“um… so, i was kind of wanting to talk to you.” you say, trying to sound calm. well, you are calm, but you are also just a tad nervous.
he sits up, no longer relaxed.
“what is it?”
you sigh, look down and extend your hands, as a silent request for his. drew understands and places his hands on yours. your face is serene, but he can tell something is wrong.
“babe, tell me. i knew something was wrong, you were too distant these last couple of weeks.”
you chuckle - you can’t hide anything from this man.
“i’m gonna preface it by saying that i am okay, i am fine, but something did happen, and i’ve debated whether or not i should tell you, and i thought that you deserve to know.”
“you’re scaring me.”
“no, please, it’s… it’s okay. just let me say it all first and then you can speak, okay?” drew doesn’t respond, but you take his silence as a nod. “so, a few weeks ago, i was taking a shower and felt a weird abdominal pain, and then there was blood. i wasn’t on my period, so i got a bit scared and went to the hospital. i had a few tests done and found out… um…” you trail off, because this is surprisingly hard to talk about. he lightly squeezes your hands, encouraging you to keep going. “i had a miscarriage.”
oh.
wait.
what?
“a miscarriage?”
“i didn’t know. the doctor explained that it was common for women to have a miscarriage before even knowing they were pregnant.”
drew is quiet, absorbing the whole information. you were pregnant, and didn’t even know it. you had a miscarriage and he wasn’t there for you.
“why didn’t you tell me? i would’ve taken the first flight back to be here with you.”
“i know you would, that’s why i didn’t.” you explain, kissing the back of his hand right after. “also, i needed to figure it out by myself first. i was shocked to learn through a miscarriage that i was pregnant. it was a lot to process.”
“i can’t even imagine. but… how are you now?”
“i’m okay, i promise. i have one last appointment next week.”
“i’ll go with you.”
“okay. that’d be great, actually.”
he sighs, a bit relieved. at least you’re okay.
“i thought you should know because, well, i was pregnant. and if nothing had happened, i would still be pregnant, and i know it’s early, we haven’t talked about these things and i’m not pressuring you to do or say anything, but i still wanted you to know. felt really wrong to keep this from you.”
“no, you did the right thing.” he says, kissing the back of your hand. “i’m just sorry you went through all of this alone.”
“it’s okay, though. i wanted you to be the first person to know. and maybe the only one. i don’t think we should tell anyone else about this. like, it’d be just… pointless.”
“right. but, uh, if you do want to talk about kids, we can.”
“oh?”
“i mean… i’ve thought about it.” he admits. “i’m the eldest of the family, my mom has already started asking me for grandbabies, she says liliana needs a cousin.” you giggle. “but at the same time, the life i live today wouldn’t be possible with a kid, if i’m honest. i barely have time to sleep, let alone raise a child, and if i’m meant to have kids, i want to be there.”
“when i would think about children, i thought about pregnancy and how i needed to avoid it like the plague during my teenage years,” you laugh. “even when some of my friends got pregnant, i never really saw myself in their position, you know? i guess it wasn’t a priority for me, and still isn’t, but… i’m not ruling it out.”
“i’m not either.”
“so… there’s that.” you shrug, relieved that it all went well. “thank you for listening, i was a bit nervous.”
he nods, completely enchanted by you. he wishes he could navigate difficult topics the way you do. so natural, so easy. you seem to have your shit together and he’s so jealous of that.
“you can always tell me anything.”
“i know.”
“if something like this happens again, tell me. i don’t want you to go through anything bad alone ever again, okay?”
you nod, letting him hug you. oh, you love him.
“we’ll have plenty of time to talk about it and other stuff, too.”
i love feedback! let me know what you think!
#my writings#drew starkey#drew starkey oneshot#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey x you
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A Future Rewritten
Summary: After years of dreaming of parenthood, Y/n and Nanami face the devastating loss of their first pregnancy. The grief threatens to consume their relationship as Y/n struggles with feelings of guilt and inadequacy while Nanami fights to hold their bond together.
TW: Miscarriages, infertility, mention of alcoholism, and depression episodes
A/n: This is my first angst-like fanfic so please don’t be too harsh and my first JJk fanfic🥲
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Both of y’all went to the doctor to see if there wer anything wrong that could affect yall fertility. The results came out great for Nanami. However for you, it said that you might be struggling with fertility issues. Doctor explained that it’s not impossible, but it will take a while longer for you to conceive. Feeling upset at the news, you try different herbs and positions that could increase your chance but nothing seems to work.
It became more difficult when friends and family would have get together and their children would be around playing in blissful innocence that they still have. There was one time where Gojo brought his son, and for some odd reason he was following Nanami around all day and your husband eventually gave in a play with him and even carried him on his back. That moment has you feeling so much pride but sadness because you couldn’t give him a baby. (It’s all your fault)
One morning, you woke up and immediately went to the bathroom and puke your gut out. This was abnormal, especially since you didn’t eat much of anything for dinner. Nanami knock on the door.
“Sweetheart, is everything alright?” He asked with concern in voice.
You flush the toilet and wash your hand and brush your teeth. “Everything good! Just needed to go to bathroom.” You chuckles, trying to play it off.
He doesn’t buy it one bit, he knows when you’re lying. He sighed” Okay but if you’re not feeling well, please tell me.”
“I will!” Nanami back up from the door and walked away.
You hate lying to him but you don’t want him to worry right now. You soon get ready for work and leave the house. Throughout the day, all you could think about is the vomit, but then you get a notification on your phone that says your cycles is 5 days late. Okay this is a sign!
After work, you when to the drugstore and went home. Luckily Nanami was still at work so you took the opportunity to take three pregnancy tests. You waited for 5 minutes. Those five minutes were the longest time you felt. Anticipated and nervous for the results. The timer went off and you decided to look.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nanami comes home with takeout from your favorite restaurant. He shouted out your name to announce he’s home. You slowly come out of the hallway with both of your hands behind your back.
“Hey love I brought yo-…….what’s behind your back?”He quickly noticed how you were standing. He look around you to see if he get a peep but you dogged his attempts.
You had a big grin on your face as you were too excited. You show him the pregnancy test with two big bold lines. Nanami looks and his eyes begin to widen as the realization hits him.
“You’re…..pregnant?” A smile and excitement creep on his face.
You eagerly nodded your head and before you could say anything, Nanami pick you up and hug you tightly.
“We’re gonna be parents!!!!” He chanted loudly. You laugh at his excitement. This was the best news he could get all year! He slowly put you down to look at you.
“I’m so happy to be a father and to have you as the mother of my children.” He caressed you gently and put his hand on your stomach.
“I can’t wait to meet you little guy.”
The next few months was full of restfulness and excitement for the arrival of the baby. Nanami has ordered many pregnancy books and preparation for the baby as you’ve been dealing with the occasional nausea and fatigue and sickness that comes with the first trimester of pregnancy. You two were at every appointment making sure that the pregnancy was going well and that the baby was progressing successfully.
On the 12th week, Yall had went to the appointment for an ultrasound to see the baby. Y’all were very excited to see the little one and to see how they were growing in your belly and any updates that you two need to know. The nurse happily lead you guys to the room, place you down on the bed by the ultrasound screen and put the cold gel on your stomach as she put the wand onto the stomach and begin moving around to see the baby. You and your husband hold each other hand excited to see the baby not knowing what was to come. The nurse who once looked at the screen once with a smiley, happy face turn into a very neutral expression on expression.
The nurse looked at you two and told you “I’ll be right back.” She left and you two were wondering what was going on y’all waited a few minutes and then the doctor came in and told you the heartbreaking news.
“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Nanami but it appears that we could not have found a heartbeat we checked again and there are no sign of life.”
You two look at each other in shock at the new, not wanting to believe what the doctor is saying.
“What are you trying to say?” You didn’t comprehend what she’s saying, or rather what you don’t want to comprehend.
The doctor sighed as she basically realized she has to say the difficult part, “I’m saying you have miscarriage at 12 weeks.”
Hearing those words come out the doctor’s mouth of the room to be muffled and silence as the two you just looked at each other, not knowing how to express or what to say. The doctor explained that it was nothing that you have done and miscarriages commonly happen in the first trimester. All you could think inside your head was ‘what did I do? What’s wrong with me? How could I let this happen? Could I prevented this?!’ You asking these questions over and over again in your mind.
Nanami see that you space out and called you, “Honey? You okay?”
You snapped out and continue listening to the doctor.
The doctor continues explaining that it is possible to try again later down the line.
Y’all came to the hospital with a baby and now leaving without it. They induced your labor to get the baby and the placenta out. It was painful and caused discomfort for you and Nanami.
After the surgery, you was prescribed with medication to make sure everything clears out of your uterus and to make sure there are no complications after the miscarriage. you inform your job about a medical emergency and you need to have a week off from work.
Nanami drove you both home, the car drive was filled with silent. You put your purse on the table and just sat down on the couch looking down at the floor. You try to hold your stomach with a small bump that was once forming is no longer there. Nanami sat right beside you holding your hand, trying to come for you the best way he can. He’s processing the pain too but knows that it’s harder for you since you were carrying the baby.
“Do you wanna talk about this?” He ask you, he cares about you. He wants the best for you to make sure that everything is okay, but instead of just talking about it and spread your feelings, you shut down how can you be a wife? You can’t even give your partner a child
“What do you want to dinner?” You blurred out , not wanting to talk about the event that just happened back at the hospital no, we look so confused. Why are you not talking to him? You literally just had a miscarriage?! Nanami can see the way the pain as you look at the ground and knew that you didn’t wanna talk about it right then and there, so he just went along with it to make peace at the moment.
“I’ll take care of dinner. You don’t have to worry about cooking dinner.” He answer you with his soft tone, you nodded your head. “Okay, I’ll be in the bathroom.” You get up the couch and wash and left and went to the bathroom.
Once you close the door, all the tears that accumulated all day when the moment you got the news just start pouring out. You just sobbing as tears cover your face and cheeks. You’re a mess. You don’t know how to process this. When you thought you finally got a break and finally gonna be a mother. It was taken away from me just like that.
What was wrong with me? What? Why can’t I carry a baby in my stomach??
The week that you was off from work, you just laid in bed in silence. You did not eat sleep or eat or drink anything. The only time you got up really was to use the restroom. Sure you wash your face from time to time but other than that you did not do nothing, you barely even shower. The only reason you somehow survived is what because your husband cooked dinner and semi forced you to come down to eat dinner with him.
he tried to talk to you about the miscarriage, he wanted you to talk about it. He did not blame you for what happened. he blaming you for losing the baby. He mad at you cannot how can you be a good wife if you cannot give him a child what’s wrong with you?
Why it is so hard for me, but not for other women that’s all you could think about in your mind. Every second will consume of the miscarriage in the could’ve been and would’ve been and everything around it. You hated yourself for it, you failed as a woman, partner, and mother.
One night in bed , you were up looking at the ceiling just thinking about everything that happened. Kento saw that you wasn’t sleeping ”are you OK? You can’t sleep?” You look over to your right at him. “No, I’m not really tired right now.” He sighed, he knew why you’re up. He knows that you are too hard on yourself right now. “You know I’m not mad at you right?” You look away from him. You want to believe him you really do but all you can think of your mind is the opposite.
he’s gonna leave you for someone who can give him a child.
That’s all you can think about all that you worry about you turned your back at him “I’m going to Sleep. You have a good night.”
Nanami was shocked by your behavior. you never turn your back on him. But he wasn’t gonna give up on you. He pulled you close, with your back towards his chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. He whispered in your ear “I love you.” before he try to go to asleep.
The week you return from work, you put a mask on for your coworkers and carry on with your work and project that you had missed out like nothing happened. despite the effort, you were still thinking about the pregnancy at home, but at work all you can think about what project deadline, reports, and meetings.
You bury yourself in work, helping every project in the company and contribute to many groups around the department that you were in. Your supervisor ask if you want to stay a little later to finish the report and you happily answered yes. anything to not be at home and think about the miscarriage anything to not go home and be a disappointment to your husband at least at work you are something here. A somebody with purpose. Somebody who accomplish a lot of things here.
The next few weeks, all you did was work and overtime, work and overtime, work and overtime.
You’d come home exhausted from work and became close friends with your wine cellar. Indulging on a few glasses of wines and cocktails every other day after working overtime. That feeling of intoxication and praise at work helped block out the depress thoughts, even if it was for a couple hours.
After finishing a huge project at work, your team decided to go out and celebrating with drinks. At the bar, you were laughing and talking with the few coworkers you enjoyed spending time with. Y’all were having a good time and even offer Sasha, one of your colleagues and good friends, a drink. Normally she’d accept it but she shook her head.
“Not tonight. I’m not allowed to drink for the next few months.” She explained as her hands is placed on her belly. The whole team look at Sasha surprised but soon follow up with excitement. Many congrats her and ask about the baby. As those conversations were happening, you couldn’t help but think about your own pregnancy and how far along the baby would’ve been by now. You’d been 7-8 months along.
You congrat Sasha, paid for your tabs and quickly called it a night. But that didn’t stop the drinking. You went to the liquor store and got some Taylor Port and Patron. You made it home around 9:35 pm and immediately pour yourself a glass and chugged it. You pour yourself another glass when a voice behind you spoke.
“You’re drinking again?” He look you at very distressed. He seen the way you been acting the last few months and it’s getting worse.
“Yeah so what?” You replied as your mouth touch the glass with the alcohol entering your throat.
Nanami was tired. You come home late, smelling like liquor and being borderline drunk every other day was getting old and fast. He walked up to you and grabbed your glass.
“What the fuck?! Give it back!”
“No, I’m tired of seeing you like this (Y/n). Coming home late and drinking is not healthy and it’s not you!”
“So what?! It’s not like I’m hurting anyone.” You protest.
“You’re hurting me! And more importantly you’re hurting yourself! You can’t continue on like this. This is not the woman I married.”
Taking his word the wrong way you blurred out “Well go find another bitch who’d give you everything you want!”
Nanami look at you stunned by your words. Before he could say anything, you continued with slurring your words.
“Maybe you should end things with me, find another woman who will give you ALL the kids and babies you want instead of being with one who couldn’t even carry one in their first trimester.” As you yelled out, tears begin to form in your (e/c) eyes. You already imagine in your mind that he’d leave you, find someone else, marry her and have a family. A family with beautiful children. A family that doesn’t include you.
Silent was the only thing that was heard in the kitchen. Nanami spoke out softly, “Sweetheart…….,” as he walked closer towards you.
You just lost it. All the months of holding it in secret and emotional turmoil just came out as tears fall against your face. Nanami quickly held you tightly as you begin to cry out in his arms.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?!”
“Hey hey, it’s okay-“
You abruptly cut him off “No it’s not! For two fucking years we’ve been trying to get pregnant. Over and over again all because I have a hard time getting pregnant! And I one time I did I fucked up and lost our baby!”
He stood there holding you as you vented out everything you’ve been feeling. This was a long time coming.
“I’m sorry I failed you…..” Your voice cracked as you spoke. Nanami look at you disappointed. Not at you, but at himself and how he wishes he tried harder to get you to open up sooner.
“Y/n, you can’t blame yourself for this. I hate seeing you blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault whatsoever.” You continue to sob as Nanami gently grab your chin to make you look at him.
“Look at me, you are strong, intelligent, and beautiful person inside and out. Our next pregnancy will be stronger and better. And you’ll be one hell of a mother.”
“But…..what if I never get pregnant again Kento. It took me years for just one. I know how much you desire to be a father……and I’m scared that we’ll separate because of—“
“Don’t.” He paused you. You look up at him confused and still upset.
“I don’t care if it takes two years, twenty years, or even if it never happens, Y/n. You are who I envision as the mother of my children, but more than that—you are my everything. If we can’t have children, I’ll still feel complete, because I have you. I see you in every vision of my future, holding my hand, laughing with me, growing old with me. Children or no children, you are my home and my forever. I’m not going anywhere, Y/n. Not now, not ever.”
You soon get overwhelmed with emotions from his speech. Sure he has said many heartfelt words before but this one is definitely up there. You buried yourself into his chest as you continue to cried out in sob with a soft “Kento….”
Y’all stay in position for a while, embracing each other after a long time since the miscarriage. Tonight has helped you two beginning to understand the importance of being vulnerable again. You two don’t know what to expect in the future ,but you guys know that regardless of it y’all have each other and that will be enough.
#nanami kento#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#fanfic#jujutsu kaisen#jjk kento#nanami x fem!reader#nanami angst
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I normally don't post anything about controversial subjects, but this time as one of the member in Love and Deepspace community, I wanted to speak up about this horrible issues going on currently.
I've been in the LnD community for a while, from February 2024 till now, it is sad that CN server is spreading hate about Sylus just because they think Sylus 'plagarized' Zayne. While in reality, I know damn well they most of them came back to the game BECAUSE OF SYLUS
Be fucking for real, no ML has been plagarizing any ML. I'm Malaysian Chinese, even me myself felt so embarassed for yall CHINESE PLAYERS to spread hate about one of our beloved. Imagine how devastated Sylus will be if he's real and when he knows this.
Fuck yall mean Sylus doesn't deserve to be famous because he was released late?? This is something that an uneducated people sounds like. I don't see yall hating on Caleb? Cuz tell me why yall want your ADOPTIVE BROTHER to be one of your love interest, its fucking weird. Not to be racist, but yall Chinese glorify that indirect sibling relationship as romance so much.
I will stand for Sylus bcuz he loves us just as much CN Sylus fans loves him. Imagine it's your fave ML, Zayne, Rafayel, Xavier getting hatred, would you guys want that? Seriously isn't Confucius our ancestors? What did he taught us? Yall should be ashame. TRULY AND REALLY, REALLY AND TRULY ASHAMED.
Sylus is the fucking reason LnD blows up. Yes, before he was released, we thought he is the villain in the storyline, but as we play through the game, we do realized he's actually a sweetheart, he is our beloved. But no, yall clearly wanna headcanon him as a red flag, he's a bad guy, he doesn't love MC. Excuse me, are we playing the same game?
It is clear, as we play the game, our first impression on different LIs is different, Sylus looks like he's a bad guy, a villain that likes forced love but actually someone who will do anything to us, no forcing us.
Zayne looks cold outside, but deep down he cared for MC so much, he's willing to love us in every single universe no matter Astra cursed him to not love us. He's warm inside.
Rafayel carefree and often bratty and petulant personality on the surface, but when he's with MC, his beloved, he can be childlish, whiny and all pouty.
Xavier looks like an honest boy, a golden retriever,acts clueless but he's the most possesive LI ever.
From all of this, didn't we already know, or obviously know that all LI have something beyond the surface? Don't villainize any of them for fuck sake. Pls use the brain.
No one is forcing anyone consume other's content, if you love Zayne, then look at Zayne's content, but if you love Sylus too, you as a Zayne main can go look at Sylus's content too, IT IS THAT SIMPLE.
Sylus didn't ruin us, as a Zayne main before, I can assure you, he didnt ruin me. It's just that I prefer Sylus because he is my type, I love his reassurance on Mc's insecurities, I wish I have someone like Sylus beside me, I still love Zayne regardless. It's called OTOME GAME for a REASON.
Please don't give up on defending our beloved as Sylus's fans. We love him and seems like we are the only one that knows him deeply.
If you're a player in LnD, we should stand together, no matter which character we love.
fuck CN antis
Humans doesnt want each other to enjoy A GAME in peace clearly speaks about how childlish we are as mankind. I don't see yall fighting for women's right that much since yall CN people likes Trump.
The post in the ss is from X user @sub_textually
#lnds#lnds sylus#lnds zayne#lnds rafayel#lnds xavier#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#rafayel love and deepspace#love and deepspace rafayel#xavier love and deepspace#love and deepspace xavier#caleb love and deepspace#l&ds sylus#lads sylus#sylus#lnd zayne#lads zayne#l&ds zayne#zayne#rafayel#l&ds rafayel#lads rafayel#lads xavier#l&ds xavier#xavier#lads caleb#l&ds caleb
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Am I enough for You?
summary
you sometimes feel insecure about how beautiful you really are to your husband and if you really are enough for as a wife.
warning ‼️ : angst? little but if smut at the end
word count : 1,531
pairing : husband aurélien x wife black reader (understands french) (reader is dark skin, skinny 22 years old and 5’7)
LONG NOTE AHEAD
note: this is my second fic ever and i’m slowly but surely improving :) this character is based on me. at 19 i don’t have any romantic experience and in the past i felt unloved and unwanted because of certain beauty standards within the black community along with the rest of society. i was also bullied a lot in elementary and middle school for looking how i do. over time i have learned to truly love me for me and it has been a long but fruitful journey. i just want to say to any black girls who don’t feel beautiful right now, it’s easier said than done but don’t look to other to make you feel beautiful. the love is within you. your golden brown skin lights up every single room. you have so much life and culture in your blood. you don’t have to change to “fit in” for anyone. you’re completely perfect the way that you look. you don’t have to be skinnier or thinker or have longer or looser hair. allow yourself to just be you. unapologetically. and lastly go where you’re loved. don’t give love and energy to people who don’t give it back to you. protect your heart and you peace.💗
and for any girls who don’t want kids and feel the pressure of everyone around them, being a mother doesn’t make you more valuable or a better person. don’t let anyone (especially a man) ever try to convince to bring children in this world that you know you don’t want. having kids isn’t a bad thing but it’s not for everyone and that’s okay. it’s your body and you know what you want to do with it. don’t feel guilty about it. 🤍
with ALL that being said enjoy and please tell me what yall think :)
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You love your husband. He's perfect in your eyes. To you, he is your saving grace, your angel. You get emotional thinking about him since he has just been so good to you. You really couldn't ask for someone better. When you first discussed marriage with him, you were concerned that he would not want to stay with you because you had chosen at an early age that you did not want children. When you discussed it with him, he said, "Kids or no kids, I want you to be my wife. In every life time." That's how you knew you'd never let him leave.
And he loves you. A lot more than you imagined. He understands you in ways that even you don't. He adores you and essentially worships the ground you walk on. He loves you softly and affectionately, but he also shows the passion that burns in his heart for you. Of course, he told and showed you in every manner possible, but there was always a voice in the back of your head telling you he wasn't as attracted to you as he said.
At 22, you were a late bloomer, and he was your first everything. First relationship, first dates, first sexual encounters, first time feeling truly liked and loved. You couldn't help but compare yourself to his ex's, who looked nothing like you. They were just the reverse, actually. Curvy, light brown skin, loose curly hair, and slightly shorter. You, with your slim long legs, darker chocolate skin, and 4c coils that were usually done in knotless braids, as well as your 5'7 height, felt attractive but not enough for him. You loved yourself and thought you were gorgeous, but owing to previous experiences and the world's overall beauty standards, you suspected he had settled.
You frequently went back and forth in your thoughts, arguing whether you were crazy for thinking this or not.
"Well, he wouldn't be with me unless he thought I was attractive. I don't know, maybe-." Your thoughts were distracted by his calming French accent. "Baby? Are you listening?" he asks, gently tapping your back with your pillow as you lie in bed, listening to his heartbeat. You answer "mhmm yeah I am" in a weak hushed tone, attempting to conceal your emotions. He stopped talking about……..whatever he was talking about. "You know I don't like it when you lie to me. I can't see your face, but I can tell something is hurting you. What is wrong, ma belle?" He continues in a worried but calm, not wanting to scare you away from my own feelings, as you have previously struggled to convey your deeper feelings.
You sat on your knees beside him, holding his hand, and looking him in the eyes. "I have something to ask you, and I don't want you to think I'm crazy or anything," you say straight-faced and serious. "Ask me anything. Go ahead” he speaks quietly, kissing your knuckles. Before you could say anything, the expression in his eyes told you that you were insane for thinking what you did. His pupils completely dilate every time he looks at you. You can see his heart beat harder every time he hears your voice. He loved you, and he was completely enamored, head over heels for you. With all this in mind, you eventually found the guts to ask, "Do you really love me?" You say, staring down at your hand in his "Y/n I thought this was something serious you scared me" he says chuckling, thinking this was one of those 'would you love me if I was a worm' questions, but you were dead serious.
"No. Aurelien I am not joking. Sometimes I think I'm not good enough for you. You have significantly more experience than me...I'm not sure why, but I don't think I'm the type of girl you prefer. They were all curvy and beautiful, and they didn't look like me. And how can I be the perfect wife if we don't have children? Part of being a good wife is being a good mother, right?" You cry as tears pour from your eyes, "Baby, Baby, it's okay, come here," he whispers, drawing you back onto his chest and lightly squeezing you. He caresses and kisses your head, saying, "Y/n. I thought we already talked about having kids. I want everything you want. I want whatever will make you happy. Being a wife is more than just being a mother. Being a wife means loving and supporting me through the good, bad, and ugly………It’s reminding me that no matter what happens, I always have a safe place to go. It’s changing and evolving with me for the better. We've only been married for a year, and you've done it tenfold. You've helped me grow as a person and man in ways I didn't realize I needed. Of course, I love you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have you, mon coeur," he adds, raising your hand to his warm lips and kissing your wedding rings.
"Really? because I think this first year has been incredibly slow for us. I'm still trying to sort things out at work, and I feel horrible for not being able to go with you to your matches." You said between sobs. You decided you still wanted to work during your marriage. You didn't want your degree to go to waste after working so hard for it, and you were really passionate about your career. You enjoyed your job, but it took a lot of time away from your lover, so you attempted to make up for it by doing small things like always having his luggage packed two days before he goes or ensuring he has all of his meals prepared for the week, but you still felt bad.
"I couldn't be happier, Chérie. Of course, I miss you a lot while I'm away, but it only makes me more excited to see your beautiful face when I get home. You aren't always there but when you are, it makes things better. I appreciate it more when you are there because you don't get to come very frequently. And I would never pull you away from your work. I know you love it, and I love seeing you do what you love," and the two of you became silent for a minute.
"Look at me, y/n" you said, sitting up and straddling his lap, your hands on his chest. As you look at him with red, hurting eyes, he leans in, lifts his hand, softly wipes your tears with his thumb, and kisses your lips. "Do not compare yourself to the women I've been with before you. I chose you because you are different from them. You love me differently than them. I cannot get enough of you, y/n. Why do you think I make love with you the way I do?" He says, gripping your chin so you don't look away, his pupils completely expanded.
Now that you think about it thoroughly, without your emotions interfering, you know he loves you. You've always known it, and you felt dumb for allowing your insecurities keep you from seeing and accepting it fully. After all, he's done nothing but prove it to you day after day. How could you possibly doubt him?
Aurelien proved that he loved you in every way achievable. In all five love languages, plus those he somehow invented. He lives to please you and never disappoints. You love how he helps you get dressed for work on his days off or kisses the top of your head and says “You need to sleep now baby come to bed” when he comes home late and you’re still at your desk typing. However, he likes making love to you the most. He is extremely attentive and meticulous about every touch, squeeze, kiss, and stroke. He will give it to you any way you want it.
"I kiss, touch, and lick every single part of you because I love how you feel……..and how you smell" he kisses your mouth and proceeds down to your jaw. "And how you taste" he says firmly gripping your waist. "I love how long your legs look when I'm eating you, y/n," he murmurs in your left ear before softly biting it. Your breath caught in your throat as you attempted to whimper, but nothing came out. You think back to every time he was between your legs, eating you like there was no tomorrow. Your hands move to his shoulders, and you squeeze softly as you arch into him. He continues, “I love running my hands through your hair while I fuck you"
You moan quietly He started to go to the edge of the bed and hang his legs over the end, still holding you on his lap. "Look behind you" and turn your head around, only to be confronted with his warm stare and your own. "I'm going to fuck you in front of this mirror so you can see you how I see you" he says, turning your head back and kissing you passionately.
that’s the end for now. i still have trouble with writing for real people. im trying my best to match their personality but it’s not easy for me lol. anyway, let me know if yall want a part two. please like, comment and repost. love yall🤍
#aurelien tchouameni#real madrid#football#aurelien tchouameni x reader#aurélien smut#aurélien fic#aurélien angst#aurélien x black reader
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the stone marten sounds like a completely fictional problem
like when other hemerophiles become pests, the damage they do is completely understandable. what does a wild animal want? food, shelter, a safe place to raise its young. simple, right? a raccoon moves into your attic because it's dry and warm, and he leaves feces and remains of prey because he's a raccoon and doesn't know that's not appropriate roommate behavior. obviously blackbirds steal your cherries and voles eat your veggies! they're hungry little guys! you would do this too if you were a blackbird or a vole.
the stone marten, though, will wreck your car. for no apparent reason. he's not living there and he doesn't want to eat the rubber from your brake line. he just fucks up your engine for the lolz. and he's sneaky about it, too! the damage will often not become apparent until it's catastrophic. until very suddenly your converter is fucked, your transmission hands in notice, or your brakes fail in the middle of a busy intersection.
somehow, over millions of years, nature evolved this animal who's body size, behaviour, and territorial aggression all work together in the precise way that makes him very effective at sabotaging one of the biggest pollutants in modern society.
it's so normalized we never stop to think how ridiculous it is to have your car destroyed by a cute little mustelid who doesn't understand mechanics and just wants to tell his rival to get fucked. sounds like something a mediocre author would put in an allegory about environmentalism, and get marked in red by the editor with the note A little on the nose, don't you think.
this guy's an ecoterrorist. he does almost 100 million € damage each year in germany alone.
#guess who had to have their car towed because SOMEONE ate through the fuel line#and god knows what else#now that i think about it i never see psa's about martens i guess yall dont have them in the usa? or your mustelids dont do this#if you never heard of people having this problem please tell me how made up it sounds for you
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Y'all know those lil toy capsule machines at like arcades and pizza places? Eddie would be all over those. The adventure, the mystery, the suspense, the joy of whatever is inside!
Gets one of those temporary heart tattoos? Slaps it on his ass and asks you to help place it as he winks and shakes his behind. Fake mustache? He puts it on and adopts an accent just to make you giggle. You push him away when he tries to kiss you because the fibers are itchy. He immediately rips off the mustache so he can kiss you again.
Sticky hand? He is using it to grab quarters off the table to fling towards him. Slaps the hand against your butt and giggles at the resounding smack it makes. Slinky? He keeps tipping it over the table onto the ground until he forgot it and stepped on it, breaking it instantly.
Little rubber alien head? Sits on the dash of his van. Stickers? Sticks them in your notebooks with doodles and notes. Bouncy ball? Wayne confiscated it after it bounced into his coffee on accident.
But the most recent one?
Two giant eyes connected by a piece of plastic that make a ring. Eyes for a hand puppet. Eddie immediately placed it on his hand and started talking to his hand as if it was another person. Hearing him carry on a conversation in his regular voice, and then a high pitched squeaky voice was fun to watch.
You're showering when you hear a wolf whistle. You turn and two giant googly eyes on a hand is staring back at you. You can see Eddie's shadow through the shower curtain, but he can't actually see you. He moves his hand so it mimes the jaw dropping ," Wowza!"
You giggle as you slap at his hand," Get out!" Eddie bursts into laughter. "Can I join?" Eddie asks, moving his hand in time with his words. "No, you can't." You watch as Eddie's shoulders seem to droop. "But my boyfriend Eddie can." Eddie's hand immediately retracts and you hear the plastic eyes hit the ground followed by the sound of clothes coming off.
#Please tell me you know about the googly eye things I am talking about because I remember seeing them when I was young#Also those fake mustaches the fabric that is like the same as those mini indoor put put green fabric yea dont kiss in those#Anyways I can see Eddie spending all spare change on those toys#Dude one time...one time I got rock.. I think it was supposed to be a jewel but the paint rubbed off#Anyways I hope yall get what I am talking about because the imagery of Eddie doing that will not leave my mind#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson/reader#Jade is Talking
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The amount of people who think that the Strange Man is talking about Arthur when he says to John, "You've forgotten far more important people than me," will never not astound me. Yall really think John could possibly ever forget Arthur? Arthur? The man he grew up with? Who taught him? Who cared for him? Who helped raise him? Who saved him multiple times? His brother? The same John who could not rest until Micah Bell was dead because he couldn't let go of his pain and anger over how Arthur died? The same John who still wore Arthur's satchel and kept his hat and wrote in his journal? That John? Little Johnny Marston? Please be serious. Arthur haunted John's dreams and thoughts until the very day he died in front of that damn barn, and you can not convince me otherwise. If he remembers Dutch, Bill, and Javier, I promise you he sure as shit would remember Arthur lmfao.
#red dead redemption 2#rdr2#red dead redemption#rdr#john marston#arthur morgan#the strange man#am i ranting? yes.#but it pisses me off every time i see a comment or hear a friend say that#like ik yall miss arthur and try to look for him in everything#but please be so fr#john would never forget arthur#he doesn't talk about him#but he sure as shit thinks about him#everyday#besides#the ranting is what you guys love about me#...right?#as a side note#i do think the strange man is just referring to people john has killed and seen killed and forgotten about#cause it aint arthur or hosea#i can tell ya that much lmaooo
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Am I the only one who kinda is w Skully on the whole "banishing bad ghosts stuff" or
#alright I dont know ALL the context#but as far as I know#???? he refers to specifically BAD GHOSTS#im pretty sure from what I know that he treats halloween as this super ultra mega serious event to respect the dead???#and *obviously* thinks bad ghosts fucking around are an utter disrespect????#uhhhhh i dont know about yall but like. it does make a lot of sense to me LMFAOOO#like idk guys i would want them brutally fucked over too ngl#of course nrc gang sees it as something super bizarre because#their beliefs are LITERALLY the opposite#like they see Halloween as a celebration for the ghosts itself while as said b4 skully sees it as a memorial of the concept of death#they see the “bright”¿ kinda side while he sees the tragedic side#(hes a dramatic bitch)#(im in love w him)#anyways THATS BASED OF FROM WHAT IVE UNDERSTOOD FROM POSTS AND TRANSLATIONS IN HERE#IF IM WRONG PLEASE TELL ME!!!#IM INDEED PROBABLY WRONG!!!#anyways skully my beloved#either way youre wrong or not THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU#twst#twstファンアート#twisted wonderland#twst nbc#twst the nightmare before christmas#skully j graves
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i dont want to trample on ur emotions/right to be upset at people getting mad at you for not wanting to be called smth, but like. idk the way youre talking about DID is really weird and rubs me the wrong way.
you have every right to be upset at the people in ur inbox calling you heinous shit, but you dont have to attack (online) DID culture because of these people. it's reading very fakeclaim-y
I don’t think you would recognize sarcasm if it punched you in the face
#yeah I’m totally fakeclaiming all these people by telling them to leave me the fuck alone and stop calling me a singlet#that’s definitely what’s going on here#fucking unfollow me yall are so hateful and whiny#go on your blog and scream and cry about how mean I am for having DID and not accepting being called a singlet#you’re such a fucking victim omg poor you#won’t everyone please think of the anons?!?!?!!???!!!!#won’t everyone PLEASE think of these POOR INNOCENT WIDDLE BABIES screaming absolute nonsense ableism at you?!?!??!!!!!!!#did you know: the unfollow and block button are free
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baseball art truly making me feel like a snail being given an entire cucumber… i shall survive the winter
GOOD LUCK WITH THE OFF SEASON... SURVIVE...
you know whats really funny is that i up and ran a hockey blog when i have had more IRL run ins with baseball than hockey. this isnt saying much about either sport. between all these run ins is a physical object that i think of as a religious effigy. just as dusty as one too! ill let you guess which sport that is LOL
#ask tag#bonus points if you can guess what it is too LOL#to be truly painfully honest i know so little about baseball#though i know its fairly popular with yall on here ^_^#the white sox are. in there i think!#not to be confused with the red sox#which i would never do personally#and at this point i CUT MYSELF OFF#lest i start reciting all the trivia i know the way a bird shows off its plumage#but less for mating purposes and more in the sense of PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME ABOUT YOUR SPORT AND TEAMS AND AND AND ...#which is arguably more important than mating#god i love your analogy <3#snail :)
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btw todd’s reluctance to join the dps because he doesn’t want to read (which is then accommodated for) and is scared to put himself out there (which is also worked through) being read as todd not wanting to go AT ALL, and thus neil making the proper accommodations (“todd anderson, who prefers not to read, will keep the minutes of the meetings”) and encouraging him to step out of the box that stifles him being seen as ‘forceful’ or like he can’t take no for an answer makes me insane with rage
#and him trying to stop neil from asking if todd not reading at the meetings is okay isn’t him wanting not to go#its him not wanting neil to ask because (as someone with social anxiety) it’s EMBARRASSING ASF for someone to ask for things on your behalf#literally just think about it as the meme of ‘when i tell my friend im hungry and he tells his mom that *i* want food instead of both of us’#and the whole ‘neil not knowing how to take no for an answer’ thing…… dont get me fucking started#the kid who’s had to take no for an answer his whole life? the kid whose first proper scene IS him taking no for an answer? are you serious?#being encouraging and accommodating and (admittedly) a little pushy when he’s got his mind set on something—#—is NAWT the same as not being able to take no for an answer or bulldozing through conversations with people#he and todd DO listen to each other in those conversations theyre just on opposing sides—#—because their understandings of the world don’t fully align at that point in time/the movie#which is totally fucking normal?????? because later on they DO properly align?????????#i feel so crazy about this every time i see someone say todd didn’t want to go the dead poets meetings because it’s so obvious he DID#he was just scared#and you know what maybe it IS a little forceful#but given how dedicated todd is to shutting off and hating and isolating himself he NEEDS a little forceful to be broken through to#if no one ever pushed me to do things when i was scared (as irritated as it can make me) i’d never do SHIT dude#and obviously todd is the same way because he ALL BUT OUTRIGHT SAYS AS MUCH#‘i appreciate this concern but i’m not like you’ IS about neil’s voice and opinions mattering to people but it’s ALSO about—#—him being outgoing and trying new things and putting himself out there#WHICH TODD WANTS TO BE ABLE TO DO!!!!!!!!#the moral you take away from todds growth is NOT that he has to change to be accepted because he DOESNT#its that he has to gain the confidence and belief in himself to grow and become the version of himself he WANTS to be#he NEVER changes on a fundamental level to make others happy (although his growth does make others happy) he just opens up more#and i dont know WHY some people think his arc is becoming a completely different person#like yall PLEASE#this isnt even an anderperry thing this is an issue even if you read them completely platonic#i blame the FUCKASS novelization…. dps book you will always be hated by ME#dps#dead poets society#neil perry#todd anderson
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Really Short and Sweet Hironika Fic
I made a really really short and kinda dumb fanfic for these two because I think they're cute anyways here
it's like barely over 700 words so it's not a lot, just a cute scenario my brain blurted out
#splatoon#splatoon 3#hironika#splatoon hiro#splatoon veronika#splatoon fanfiction#fanfic#ship fic#Hironika nation I can cook for yall every now and then#Like desserts typa cooking#I ain't making no full course meal yet#But uhhhhhh#tell me what you think#please#I just wanna talk about them more#If you're still reading these can I get one of those miiverse “+Yeah!” things it'd be funny
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UNCLE NINA WRITES WEIRD JK STAN LETTERS!
hello benevolent angel people!
( because you're wonderful but bc you're doing gods work by supporting my dead fanfic from hell. c:’ )
so this is a lil...experimental? but bc i've been dabbling on that one ask large lore ask that set before kyle knows raven of crimson dawn is his stan, i've gotten very attached to writing the silly jersey letters to dead stan in his journal again. ( again, nina lore is that it's what a friend had me do when my first cat passed away.
i still write to her. <3 )
but this is just something i wrote to get back into the habit of writing again. i put it on docs and i used a font which...okay? tbh, i think looks exactly like i want jk's handwriting to look. like its very swirly, he is my calligraphy king. i didn't proof it bc i just wrote...all of it tonight like a weird crazy person.
also i realize jk sounds...a lot like me
— but he Is me, tbh?
like in some facets i did give him lil pieces of myself so he could grow into an uber tall thicc as hell academic hot jersey talk shit get hit boy.
( i also do think he's a lot goofier with stan in his little letters esp since he doesn't think that anyone is going to read them they are just his lil vent space. let it out king! )
as for the timeline...i think it's pre!rm bonus content? like i dropped a little context about stuff that happened before the fic, but i think it's probably written anywhere in the last 1-2 years of rm before kyle went to that crimson dawn concert. i'm not sure what compelled me to write it i just...really like vulnerable jersey just being a jersey dirtbag but like kneeling by the stan shrine and asking for light.
speaking of...as far as triggers go. mostly the spelling is just bad, help, but jersey does talk a lot about stan dying and is very...distressed about it. he's also...really depressed and is not at the moment coping super well, but is reaching out for help. <3 always reach out for help when you need it. i didn't mention anything specific, but he does just mention thinking he's not a good person, feeling ugly, unworthy, lost, etc...TW FOR HIM BEING SO VULNERABLE AND CUTE ALSO.
he is...my secret loverboy prince.
he is my lo-...
my L-
anyways...ROLL CLIP!
#i cannot tell u what compelled me to make...this#but it did make me feel nice so idk its not the most professional or formulaic thing ive ever written#but i think its nice i am sorry if the found is too gnar i really wanted to do a jk letter in like a letter structure for once#also this is it so funny to me that jk out here trying to rizz himself up to fucking dead GHOST stan like he is insane#also im like oh god does he sound too much like me?? BUT HE IS ME I GAVE HIM LOTS OF ME IDK AAAA SORRY#he is a lovely man when hes not being horrible and i am Also a sweet lovely man when im not being horrible#but idk him giving stan all the cute nicknames and like writing a letter and for the first time in a very long time#wasnt completely honest but was mostly honest about just not being the best and needing to be and needin someone else#OOOOOOOOY MY EYES ARE WATCHING HELP ME#no im so sorry if u were victimized by sexy topdom jersey sometimes he is like on critical boyfailurisms#he wants to impress like one motherfucker and its dead stan marsh like HAUNT ME PROMISE ME#HAUNT ME LIKE AN OLD VICTORIAN HOUSE AN UNDERWATER SHIPWRECK when i tell u i was in pain#also not him just building his ideal boyfriend like he won i love you jersey SPEAKING OF DO U SEE HIM#DO YOU SEE HIM TRYING TO DO IT HES TRYING TO TYPE THE!!!! IM TELLING YALL HE CANT DO IT#HE COULDNT EVEN TELL DEAD STAN ANYWAYS THAT AS MAKING ME CRY sorry ill proof it a lots wrong w it#i am very sleepy nina please stop...not sleeping from stress#but i hope it pleases and sparkles <3
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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#survey says#lgbt#transgender#if you have strong opinions on this question PLEASE tell me#apparently this is the direction the Field is moving and like#obviously yall are a hella biased sample but like#if i wanna know what a bunch of millennial gays think about this#tumblr is the place millennial gays congregate
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Booktok was fun at first simply for the novelty of it but like after months on that algorithm like. Half of the content is just people reducing books to tropes and being like "here are books with this trope" or "what are books with this trope???" or "we need more books with this trope1!!1!" Like oh my GOD I'm taking the word trope away from y'all and putting it up on the shelf. Not bc ur using it wrong but bc ur being fucking annoying about it now
#what a consumerist way of talking about books too#the way booktok talks about books makes me think they should just replace all of KU with ai generated content#i dont even think theyd be able to tell the difference LOL#yea sorry that was mean but like. once the shiny sparkly newness of booktok wore off i realized how ridiculous the whole thing is#not to mention how the algorithm just feeds u the same handful of books every time#like tiktok. please. ive never liked a single tt about acotar and i scroll away immediately why is this the only book u want me to see#anyways rant over lmao#i feel bad for being a hater but booktok has to be the one of the WORST book communities on the internet#tiktok is just Not It can we go back to the forums pls im begging yall
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