#please read the part where i said nuance)

[acid-waste]

I'm so mad actually I can't believe some people took this scene in chapter 3 and turned it into a who's right about their grief when the scene in chapter 4 literally has ivypool saying I don't mean to make it all about me- haven't thought much about how dovewing is handling her own grief- people read chapter 3 and to me it seems as if chapter 4 doesn't even exist and the rest of what ivypool says in chapter three after saying this doesn't as well

“Dovewing, I’m truly sorry that Rowankit died. But losing a sickly kit—a kit you’ll be reunited with in StarClan one day—is different from losing a full-grown cat who was just coming into her own as a warrior. A cat who doesn’t exist anywhere—who is just gone.”

ignored this and what was said and called it a day

[epiphainie]

"tommy doesn't think he's inherently unlovable; tommy just refuses to acknowledge what's in front of him to protect himself" i know you said this in a joke but he's trying to protect himself because of his insecurities that he's unloved/unworthy, isn't it? i don't see how these are two opposing statements

*cracks knuckles*

gonna use this ask as an opportunity to write my tenth tommy meta this week. i feel like i'm saying the same thing with different words at this point but who am i to refuse the one nameless person in my inbox.

maybe this is like trying to call between two shades of the same color but there's a difference to me, personally. i don't think this is the only right interpretation but it's the way all the pieces of tommy fit together in my head to make up something interesting. i don't think the show thinks 1% of this nuance (i'm simply a fic writer who's obsessed with character voice) nor do i expect for the storyline to unravel in a way that fits this. this is just what's logical and interesting to me.

"trying to protect himself because he's insecure" i think we got that part in common! i just don't think that every insecurity boils down to a sense of self-consciousness, lack of worth, not seeing yourself as loveable etc. and to me tommy's someone whose insecurities are fear around letting people in, opening up, and putting himself in a situation where it/he could fail because he's spent so much of his life staying in that safe cocoon. i think tommy's scared of what lies beyond his comfort zone which results in this lack of belief that his relationships could even work in longevity and him latching onto anything he could as confirmation bias for that. now i only have tommy's vague backstory to go with here (other than his actions) so i will start there.

what we know about tommy prior to the begins episodes is that he has a father whom he compares to gerrard. now this is me reading into it too much obviously, he could have just meant they're both bigots, but this tells me that more than neglegtful, growing up he had a father who was oppressive. who was on tommy's case too closely and too threateningly and i think that came with huge expectations put on tommy, especially with him being gay and closeted. tommy imo started performing to meet these obscure standards (of being a man, of being a son, of being a soldier etc.) from such a young age which continued into his time in the military and the 118 and, to a degree, the present.

tommy's just incredibly good at the smoke and mirrors of being the cool friend, the nonchalant dude, the vice president of gerrard's boys club, the easygoing boyfriend, the ex who's down to fuck etc. i know people call this his people-pleasing for some cases but there's nothing pleasing about tommy, tommy's a bitch, he puts a little distance in between regardless of how friendly he is, but this doesn't make the act any less of a mask. a mask he's trying to sell as authentic, especially to himself. i think what people don't consider much here is just how easy it is to buy into your own performance of whatever personality you're putting on even when you're aware you're doing it. why poke the bear when it's safe and cozy where you keep yourself to yourself and not risk any disappointment or failure? we know he does this in his friendships, first with chimney (the puppy he simply can't take the responsibility of) and later chimney, hen, and bobby who are alllowed in close enough to enjoy a pint with but not enough to know about abby (and much later, with eddie but it doesn't fit anywhere here. for more thoughts on eddietommy, here).

now we know that tommy's not entirely living a lie at this point. tommy's out and tommy's made some progress on himself. that comfort zone at one point became so unbearable that he had to burst it, regardless of how hurtful and scary it was. i still maintain that tommy's a man who to a degree has made peace with himself. he recognizes himself as a person with wants that are not shameful and past deeds that are not incriminating. this is partly why i don't think tommy's issue is seeing himself as unworthy of love, a relationship, a future etc. and we see tommy move motivated by this changing belief. when we saw him back on our screens again, it's still hard for him to admit (love how much he squirms and tenses up) to vulnerable stuff but he wants to tell buck that he's always wanted friends like the 118 regardless. he goes along with trying again during the coffee scene despite how quickly he took himself out of the situation after their first date. tommy to me is someone who's healed enough to know he can want and he would be wanted back but then...

it gets too much, it gets too close. i won't get too much into my thoughts about the breakup because i've talked about it for months but i maintain that tommy's acting out of a deeply-etched defense mechanism here than an actual belief that buck can do better, buck deserves someone who's not as fucked up as tommy, tommy who's not worthy of buck's love etc etc. however way you put that sentiment. at hearing how much buck wants, how serious he wants to take this relationship, tommy immediately lays down what he's been cooking in his head as a defense against this moment for months, probably without knowing. the reveal about eddie supports this point imo. i can write another meta about what jealousy is for tommy but here more than anything buck and eddie's relationship serves as confirmation of what he knew all along: this relationship was always going to end. he won't be buck's last and that will break his heart. done, the end, this is the story tommy bought into before it even begun. this is the story once put out there ensures that tommy's left alone, in this familiar place where he doesn't have to put too many chips in, where he doesn't have to reveal too much of himself, where he doesn't have to risk his feelings. buck could say no as many times as he wants; it doesn't matter, this is tommy's narrative.

the next time we see him, he's bought into the performance of being okay with this. honestly, most of what powers my tommy meta is that i truly think he's stubborn as hell. regardless of how keen he is, how aware he's doing this, he goes along with buck's flirting. i think i diverge with many people here because nothing imo, NOTHING, about what tommy's doing here is an act of vulnerability. it's the mask, guys, it's the mask! he gives in as much as buck's willing to give back, they both short change each other without talking about what they really want and what the breakup even meant.

but of course they have a great night, and tommy's feeling more hopeful in the morning. (i know i said we haven't seen him regretting the breakup at all but maybe i was being too harsh on him because i can see the breakfast as a gesture of "making up for it" in the classic tommy way of not actually yet acknowledging that he made a bad decision all those months ago but repenting anyway) this is the tommy who showed up at buck's loft to be vulnerable with him, take inititave, clear the air. but ofc despite all that healing, this again doesn't come easily to him, and this time he's more invested in this, there are bigger risks being known in this way (with his insecurities and jealousy and regret (maybe lol)) to his ex compared to sharing one little vulnerable thing with a virtual stranger. and he botches up the entire thing by trying to deliver it with the unbothered, cool guy mask. a little hand-wavy deflection, a little downplaying of what he actually feels. then buck's in his face and it becomes downplaying of what buck says he's feeling, the survival instinct of burrowing into that narrative that makes him feel safe and in the right again. the narrative that AGAIN ensures he's left alone and he's not poked at anymore where he tried to attempt an opening.

when i say tommy's half lies in his head, this is what i mean. not that his mind is telling him he's unloved when he actually is. i mean that he literally has this idea of himself, this idea of buck, this idea of their relationship that he sticks to because it's easier to understand and it's safer for him. people always talk about buck's passivity but tommy's the same, if not worse, because he's treading so carefully he can't allow himself to take an actual chance with buck. it's such a mirror of tommy going along with gerrard's boy club in my head, such a mirror of tommy not risking to emotionally invest in a relationship with chimney, tommy not being able to put himself in a position where he could be family with the 118. buck's familiar in many ways (i don't think either of them were poking the bear during those six months), i actually think a big deal with buck's relationships is that he CANNOT acknowledge any conflict or conflicting emotions but buck's way of dealing with it is to pour out as much as he can even when it's poorly thought out (like jumping to moving in together to cling to their relationship after the abby reveal) or ignore it completely till it comes out (arguably his hurt feelings over the breakup finally coming out in the kitchen fight scene.)

tommy's is to find a counterargument in his own head, to take the strategic exit, to slide it to a side neatly, decisively, cold turkey. he tries, like i said the let's try thing is him attempting to put his heart on a plate regardless of how badly he does it, but he simply cannot stay in that heartbreak for thirty seconds because of the horrifying ordeal of being known. partly to buck, partly to himself. which of course means tommy never actually lives. i think there's something so delicious about this especially for a character like tommy who on the surface has SO MUCH LIFE. he has flying into hurricanes, he has taking friends to vegas, he has million hobbies and one, sex to have with his boyfriend, basketball games to take him to, try desserts around LA and whatnot. but how much of that's living without getting a little real? how much of that's to balance out all the important things compermantalized away?

anyway do i think all this i said mutually exclusive with tommy thinking he's unlovable? not really. i think a base level insecurity in your worthiness is only normal when you put so much between you and the rest of the world but it changes the way i personally see how tommy sounds in his own head and how tommy perceives things. i actually think there's a level of self-assuredness in his stubbornness, in his way of buying into his own narratives and the image he's putting out. i also think he's partially aware he's doing this. so for example i cannot imagine tommy being upset about eddie cutting him off in a self-victimizing manner because he's aware of his own part in it, the intentionality when he left buck the way he did. the same way i cannot imagine him taking buck's words of "i dont have to have feelings for everyone i sleep with" at face value without being half-aware that buck's reacting to what he's said and doesn't mean it. i can't see tommy, who for all intents and purposes was the one who pushed buck away, genuinely taking it as buck telling the truth. tommy in my head either takes it as confirmation for what he knew* all along (*lied to himself about because it fits his narrative and that's a comfortable form of torture, also leaves him kind of blameless for breaking up with buck in the first place) OR if he's genuinely less resistant to the bitch in his ear now, as "lowkey done with my bullshit, let's have some instrospection about what my role here was and how it came to this point that evan's first instinct is to push me away by refusing his feelings"

i don't think he's at that stage yet so i think number one. explains why he shuts down and leaves again. tried, didn't work, i was right to think it wouldn't work. exit, pursued by tommy kinard.

okay last bit, i couldn't find a place to fit this because it's more buck meta BUT what i also love about this interpretation of tommy is the contrast with buck. overcompensating for an inherent lack of self-worth is so buck. being unlovable and hard to love is so buck. that's buck with his neglegtful parents and his abandonment issues and his coma dream where he's only valuable to the story as long as he's useful to the others. that's buck's story we've been watching for eight years. i see tommy as something else, a creature who made home in the safety of not trying that he became a self fulfilling prophecy. what if a boy had to survive situations he couldn't survive as himself and in hiding became a coward? what if that boy who became a man wants to love and care and feels the chance right in his reach, but is too scared to love back in all the ways that unveil more of him than he can bear? anyway i love tommy

[karasukarei]

Wind Breaker DVD/BR Vol. 6 bonus content – Boufuurin Vs Shishitoren Maruhi ㊙ Talk and Battle - Part 1

This is the translation of the vol. 6 bonus with the DVD/Bluray! I did not buy it for the bonus. I did buy it because Umemiya is featured on the cover. I have my priorities right.

There's 3 (4?) main parts to this - (1) Boufuurin x Shishitoren talk, (2) Hiiragi x Sako talk + (3) battle, (4) Boufuurin x Shishitoren battle. The battles are kinda hard to understand without the video, so I'll leave that aside for now and focus on just the talks.

As these are more like talk shows, there's quite a few areas where multiple people are talking over each other; in such instances, I will be omitting some of the stuff being said if it's repetitions or if they do not add on to the main stuff being spoken.

Important: A lot of what NakaYuu says will seem very cold/ indifferent on paper, and unfortunately this is one of those things that get lost in translation. In context, he's actually playing the deadpan fool like his pal Sugitan.

For the rest of my translations, see this post!

Boufuurin x Shishitoren talk

Sakura (CV: Uchida Yuuma - Yuuma)

Umemiya (CV: Nakamura Yuuichi - NakaYuu)

Choji (CV: Totani Toya Kikunosuke - Toya) (t/n: there's this running gag that has an origin I'm unaware of, apparently some people read his name wrongly and called him Totani instead and I admit that for the longest time I really thought it was read as Totani. The 谷 in 戸谷 can be read as either "ya" or "tani", and both are pretty common readings, hence the confusion)

(if anyone wants to hear me ramble about multiple readings for names please DM me I will be so happy to go on this long shpiel about meeting 3 people with 3 different readings of the same character before)

Togame (CV: Umehara Yuuichirou - Umechan) (t/n: yes I'm here to confuse the heck out of you)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yuuma: Hello everyone! I'm the voice actor of Sakura Haruka for the television anime Wind Breaker, Uchida Yuuma!

NakaYuu: Umemiya Hajime's Nakamura Yuuichi! (t/n: he was drawling a lot here wwww)

Toya: Tomiyama Choji's Toya Kikunosuke! (t/n: he is really so cute I want to protecc) (I also cannot emphasise enough just how talented he is; he sounds NOTHING like Choji irl)

Umechan: Togame Jo's Umehara Yuuichiro, thanks for having me.

Everyone: Thanks for having us! (t/n: it's the usual yoroshiku onegaishimasu greeting and I can never figure out how to properly translate it)

Yuuma: Speaking of, to everyone who bought the anime package (i.e. the DVD or blu-ray), will be receiving this special bonus, ehhh. ~It's Wind Breaker~ (comes with sparkles too) everyone.

NakaYuu: That's right.

(everyone chuckles)

Toya: We've even worn these jackets!

NakaYuu: Why are you doing it? (t/n: LMAO)

*everyone laughs*

Umechan: On the other hand, *points at Yuuma and NakaYuu* you're here like this?

Toya: It feels different there. (t/n: this is not an entirely accurate translation, but i'm pretty tired today and don't feel like explaining now. What he said was 気合違いますよ which has a bit more nuance; I'll explain in an edit next time.)

Yuuma: This is my regular...

Umechan: Gakuran? (t/n: this is the style of school uniforms worn by Boufuurin)

NakaYuu: It's not that. *very seriously*

Toya: Yuuma-san's clothes actually of give off a bit of the feel of gakurans...

Yuuma: It's not a gakuran ^_^

***

Yuuma: With that, the four of us from Wind Breaker, Shishitouren and Boufuurin will have a talk with each other.

Everyone (i think): Yes!

Yuuma: It's been a while since we've recorded our lines, and I think there'll be lots of memories we'll be reminiscing upon, but in Wind Breaker, there's often talk of speaking with our fists; Nakamura-san and I first joined from the PV, it's been a while, hasn't it? (t/n: They're referring to a special video they recorded for an event in Shibuya in 2021)

NakaYuu: It's a while back, isn't it?

Yuuma: Around 2021, yes.

NakaYuu: About two years before the anime, I think.

Umechan: It's from before the anime?

NakaYuu: Yes yes yes, when you get to our level it's like that. (t/n: this is absolutely dripping in sarcasm fyi; NakaYuu can only get away with a joke like this cos he's the oldest here) You start getting involved even before the anime is announced.

Yuuma: As for the two of you (Shishitoren), you guys auditioned?

Umechan: Yes...

Toya: We auditioned and received our roles.

Yuuma: You two make a great combo, how was it like performing together?

Umechan: It's my first time working with Toya-kun.

Toya: Yes it is.

Umechan: It was really refreshing. The other cast members, I've met them quite often at other places, so I sort of know how things will turn out with them. It's only Toya-kun I don't know anything about.

Toya: For me, it's my first time meeting most of the cast members, I remember that during the first recording I was really really nervous.

Umechan: I didn't know how it would turn out, but he was very Tomiyama-ish.

Yuuma: That's the matching being done (t/n: this might be a mistranslation; he literally uses "matching" in katakana, I'm not sure if there's an alternative meaning I'm missing out.)

NakaYuu: There's difficulty in reading him. (i.e. in reading his character)

***

Yuuma: Next is the visual commentary part, where we watch the anime while giving comments on it. First up, is this match!

T/N: I'm going to skip some parts and summarise some parts, as it's going to be pretty much impossible to match the dialogue and scene one on one without video

Sakura vs Togame

When Umechan first recorded for Togame, he spoke so slowly he was surprised, and in the end that take was used for the anime. It got easier to speak slowly as he practiced more, but at first he had to make a conscious effort to go slow.

Togame's script also had a lot of markings at the end of words (e.g. dashes), to indicate that the words should be drawn out / spoken slowly.

While filming the fight scenes, they thought quite a lot about what to ad lib and how to draw breaths in between lines. They were told it wasn't necessary to do it for everything, but on the day of recording they decided that they did want to include the ad libs and breaths for the whole thing.

NakaYuu, at the point when Sakura is kicked by Togame with his geta on: Getting kicked by the geta looks bad. (t/n: NO SHIT SHERLOCK)

Umechan: I would've preferred him to wear sneakers, it can absorb the impact a bit.

Yuuma: The geta is really hard.

NakaYuu: Of course it is.

NakaYuu, at the point when Sakura's head is stomped on by Togame with his Geta: That looks bad.

Yuuma: He's a real beast!

Umechan: Everyone, this is fiction.

Yuuma: Please don't try the same thing at home.

Umechan, at the point when Togame took off his geta: If he hadn't taken off his geta, I think he would have won. (t/n: LMAO)

NakaYuu: This is a power down event.

Umechan: His reach is now one geta shorter.

NakaYuui: His reach and power have both dropped. But his grip is stronger now

Umechan: It would've been fine if he hadn't taken it off.

NakaYuu: It's probably cos it feels strange using a weapon when he wants to fight fair and square.

t/n: WHY ARE THEY FEEDING INTO EACH OTHER'S CHAOS

Everyone in turn, when Sakura and Togame kicked each other in the face: The geta. the geta!

Yuuma: It's a good thing he's not wearing the geta.

NakaYuu: If he was wearing the geta he would've won.

Yuuma: Togame is a really great guy, fighting for Choji's sake. Thanks for the great battle! Next is this battle!

TO BE CONTINUED

[fairyhaos]

How To Fucking Write: a guide by fairyhaos

[masterlist]

this post details:

DIALOGUING INTERESTINGLY

hi gays and gals! the first post on starting and pacing a story did really well, so "how to fucking write" is back, with yet more advice and tips for everyone ^^ please feel free to let me know if there's something you want me talk about, because i'll be more than willing to see if i can help. also a reminder that i have a taglist for this series as well, and please reblog if you find this helpful :)

# - HOW TO DIALOGUE.

.. bullet point one : grammar

okay guys, as a native english speaker, i'll be the first to tell you that this language fucking sucks in terms of its grammar, but when it comes to dialogue, understanding how it works even to some extent will help you branch out and vary the way you write dialogue, which makes it so much more interesting.

with dialogue tags (said, asked, etc) if the punctuation mark in the dialogue is not a ! or ? then it should be a comma.

example : [junhui + castle]

as you can see in the first line, a comma is used rather than a full stop, because the sentence hasn't been finished yet. there's a dialogue tag, ('you correct'), that comes after it. and since the pronoun 'you' isn't a proper noun (i.e. a name) then it shouldn't be capitalised, because, again, the sentence hasn't been finished.

with action tags however, (he smiled, he stood up, etc) then it should be a full stop.

example : [i just made one up bc i don't use this a lot lmao]

"I disagree." He stood up, and walked over to close the door. "This isn't safe. You shouldn't go alone."

and now, since there is a full stop, it indicates that the speech is a sentence all by itself. that means the next word ('He') ought to be capitalised.

but the key part when grammar-ing dialogue in order to make it interesting depends on where you put the action and grammar tags.

if you constantly have lines that are just:

"dialogue," he said.

"dialogue," she said.

"dialogue but a bit longer," he said.

... then it can get repetitive, and annoying. by varying your dialogue structure, it can create more interesting dialogue.

example : [minghao + password]

there's a variety of dialogue and action tags being used with each line of dialogue, preventing everything from sounding too repetitive.

the first line starts with a normal sentence, and an action tag. the second is a standalone line of dialogue with no tags. the second has the action tag in the middle of the dialogue. and the last has a dialogue tag in the middle of the dialogue.

by varying the ways in which you write your dialogue, it makes everything a lot more interesting.

.. bullet point two : verbs and adverbs

the easiest way to make dialogue interesting, though, is to use fancy words.

this can be by replacing 'said' with a range of other dialogue tags (see this really comprehensive list for a whole variety of different words), but i'd advise against overusing these. 'said' is your friend! it's the invisible dialogue tag, helps your reader read through your dialogue in comfort, but of course, if you wanna add a nuanced way of describing the dialogue, then replacing 'said' is the easiest way to make your dialogue interesting.

but don't overuse these. for me, i'd focus on action tags and adverbs.

use interesting adverbs that add description to how a character is saying something can go miles. and using action tags that break through what could have been a long section of characters just talking? it helps so much.

i'd recommend having onelook thesaurus open as you write. you don't have to type in just words: phrases, the overall vibes of the word you're thinking of, all of that can be typed into the thesaurus and they'll provide you with pretty good results each time.

it also really helps when you've forgotten a word and can only remember vague bits of what the word should feel like.

.. bullet point three : voices

the best way, however, is ultimately to create a character. write a personality for them, bring them to life, think about the way in which they would talk and then put that down onto paper.

it's difficult, perhaps the most difficult to do, because it's also so tricky to advise someone on how to do this. it's all about the character you want to create, the personality you envision for them, and the only person who can fully write that is you.

however, i would find a few 'ticks' of theirs and use them as indicators in your writing.

for example, in my seoksoo long fic, seokmin's tick is that he always "chirps" what he's saying. and beams. a lot. this identifies his character, makes him unique(ish), and establishes his personality and differs him to the other characters.

but ultimately, it comes down to word choices, when you're writing a character voice.

like, your character describing something with elegant, floral language vs them going "this is so pretty". or perhaps making them stumble over their words when they're panicked vs them simply just going silent when they're flustered.

it's about being specific. about making choices with your words that would have english teachers analyse and unpick your writing, hundreds of years later.

(even if it's fanfic. especially if it's fanfic: because who knows how many fans may join your fandom in the next few years?)

... and that's it ! if anyone has anything else they want advice on (how to structure, how to write dialogue, how to plan etc) then just shoot me an ask, because i'd love to help however i can :)

tagging (comment/send ask to be added!): @selenicives @stqrrgirle @weird-bookworm @eternalgyu @blue-jisungs (tough luck guys btw but youre gonna be tagged in this entire series ehehehe)

[mirai-e-jump]

TV Life, 3/28/2025 Issue ft. Fuyuno Mio & Shoji Kohei (translations below)

Publication: March 12, 2025

OneLog! Vol.1 (Fuyuno Mio)

-The Director's words to "capture the nature of my role" is what I cherish as I face Hoeru-

Everyone, it's nice to meet you! I'm Fuyuno Mio, I'm 21 years old and play the role of GozyuWolf and Tono Hoeru. For me, tokusatsu shows have been something I've admired since I was a child. "Engage!," the transformation yell for this work, is compact, yet so intense and cool, that I remember how excited I was when I first said it during filming.

As Hoeru's name suggests, there are many scenes where he howls, "Awoooooo!" In the beginning, my voice would sometimes give out as I wouldn't be able to hold it, but the more times I did it, the more people around me started to say, "Your voice is improving." I feel like my throat is getting stronger, and most importantly, I become more fired up when I howl.

I do my best with daily filming, but when I become anxious and wonder, "Is this scene gonna be okay?," Masa-kun always says, "Don't worry!" Masa-kun's been looking out for me since the script reading stage, and even gave me words of encouragement at that time. Masa-kun has really saved me, and I'm incredibly grateful to him. Also, while I was taking notes during the reading, Director Tasaki casually wrote the words "capture the nature of your role" in my notebook. Since then, I've come to cherish those words as I face the role of Hoeru.

Future episodes will feature Hoeru's past, so I hope that you'll pay attention to how Hoeru got to be where he is today. The whole year will be like a festival, with developments rapidly unfolding. Things are going to get more and more exciting from now on, so please make sure to look forward to it!

Q: In relation to Number One Sentai, what are you most into these days?

A: Lately I've been into baseball. I thought, "Wouldn't it be cool if I played baseball?" (laughs). I've been swinging a bat at a batting cage to get better at it, but I can't seem to hit the ball very well. I'm still working hard on it, so I'd be happy if I could show off my skills within the show someday.

Number One Shot!: This is the cutout used during the opening credits! We had a fun time filming with the life size cutouts of the five cast members! Shocking stuff has been happening since episode 1, but there'll be more exciting developments in the future, so please make sure to look forward to them. _

GavvPare! Vol.14 (Shoji Kohei)

-Using the phrase "I'm tired" in a natural way-

Since he started working part time at Hapipare, Lakia's state of mind has gradually changed. With Lakia originally working in the Granute world, I thought he wouldn't be that opposed to communicating with the people around him. I think he's able to talk normally with Sachika and the others in the human world simply because he just thinks that the people he's talking to are different. To better illustrate what I'm saying, the feeling is similar to experiencing culture shock when interacting with another Japanese person versus a Westerner, as the flow of the conversation and reactions you'd get are different. In that sense, my reactions to scenes such as eating ice cream and pudding or working part time aren't over the top, but are more nuanced like, "This isn't quite what I imagined."

I've always been conscious of not overdoing the "I'm tired" line, as there are times when I say "I'm tired" when he's in a positive state of mind, as if to say, "Alright, let's do this," but in other cases, I say it because he's too lazy and doesn't want to do something. However, I think that if I give each and every one of them meaning, the viewers will also stop and think "I wonder if there was any meaning to that just now," so I try to say it naturally and without it sounding forced as much as possible. Having said all this, I myself haven't developed a habit of saying it, but I was once teased when I casually said "I'm tired" while talking with a friend (laughs). It was pretty embarrassing, so I've been saying it less often (laughs).

Suga begins to make some major movements starting from episode 27. Through the incident with Koji-kun, Lakia's attitude toward humans has become softer, and while he's adjusting to the human world, he once again thinks about his reasons for fighting. Also, I hope you'll look forward to seeing if he'll be able to open up to Hanto, who he's still very much at odds with.

Q: When you hear "Spring," what comes to mind?

A: It's flowers. I started writing haikus last year, which led me to become more conscious of what catches my eye, but I think I'm now able to enjoy scenery on its own more than I did before. Cherry blossom season is approaching, so it'd be nice to go to a park with friends and enjoy the cherry blossoms and greenery together while drinking sake.

Off Shot: A picture taken during the infiltration of the dark sweets factory. Now that I think about it, my black costume in combination with the belt is a rare sight. Lakia's outfit will occasionally change from now on, so make sure to look forward to that too. It's already Spring!!!

[zhaohuis-lost-walnut]

Lanzhou and Control

[spoilers up to chapter 220ish]

So I’ve been working on a future post and have been rereading my personal chapter summaries and notes. As I refreshed my memory and even reread some specific chapters, I ended up asking google a question that sent me to an interesting Reddit post.

Basically someone said they didn’t understand why Shen Zechuan initiated intercourse in chapters 40-41. Someone else gave a very thoughtful reply which you can read here, but the part I’m focusing on for this post is Shen Zechuan’s relationship with control. The replier shared, amongst other things, that Shen Zechuan gave Xiao Chiye control in that situation.

I actually just reread chapter 40 today and noticed that on page 413 of vol. 1 it says “Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to gather his wrists into one hand”. I never really thought much of that phrase in my previous readings of volume 1, but I feel like that it only really sunk in for me after getting better acquainted with their relationship as it developed.

Throughout the story it’s repeated over and over how both leads HATE having their lives out of their hands. Xiao Chiye despises that he was forced away from his family and home. And Shen Zechuan hates how he was held at the mercy of others for years as well; vowing to never be in such a position again. Both of these individuals crave freedom. And yet, Shen Zechuan allowed Xiao Chiye to do as he pleased with him.

Now, their first time being intimate has a lot of nuance to it. They both used that moment to escape reality for a time. And this particular instance of relinquished autonomy literally had Shen Zechuan expecting to be handled roughly. But once their relationship developed into a mutual romance, time and time again, Shen Zechuan surrenders control, letting Xiao Chiye take the lead, and following his whims.

I’m currently at chapter 220 and while some of their unions still have escapist undertones, there are still pure romantic moments where Shen Zechuan completely gives himself up to Xiao Chiye. And I think it shows a key difference in these two’s desire for control: Xiao Chiye likes to dominate by nature while Shen Zechuan feels like he has to for survival. Not to call Xiao Chiye a freak, but bro is literally described as enjoying fights, likes the struggle of taming wild animals, and is possessive as hell! While Shen Zechuan’s need for control stemmed from being abused by others throughout his life. When he’s not in control, he gets hurt. So that told him when he’s in control, he can protect himself.

I have taken mental note of a few scenes during Shen Zechuan’s conquering Zhongbo era where he’s tired or even annoyed by the work that goes into running essentially a country. But why doesn’t he delegate those tasks to others? Because unless he is genuinely incapable of getting the job done himself, he doesn’t trust anyone else to do it. He’s also stated several times that he doesn’t desire to be at the top: two examples that immediately came to mind being in chapter 70 when Xiao Chiye asks “Don’t you want a turn at the top?” and in Shen Zechuan’s conversation with Yao Wenyu in chapter 146. While in both of these instances he was bluffing, part of me thinks there is at least a semblance of truth to the statement.

When he lived with the Jis in Duanzhou, he was content with his simple life. He wanted to be like his brother and become a squad commander one day, but that’s nowhere near as ambitious as taking over and bringing peace to several prefectures. He was happy. And then his world was flipped upside down.

While I don’t think he necessarily regrets the path he is on now, he definitely misses simpler times. In chapter 209 Shen Zechuan says he forced himself to stop thinking about his days in Duanzhou because remembering those times make him cry. He was forcefully removed from a life he loved, and thrusted into the middle of a violent political struggle.

All of this to say, while Shen Zechuan is implied to be a natural leader and has a domineering nature, it isn’t really a position he chose to be in. Every action he takes is deeply calculated from multiple angles for the best possible outcome. Even carefully crafting his persona to attempt to control how he’s perceived. And living your life like that is DRAINING!

Oh man, Shen Zechuan is tired 😩

But when he’s with Xiao Chiye, he can turn his brain off. He can forget about his meetings. Forget about trying to watch everything the other enemy factions are doing. Forget about trying to put up a front as to not scare those around him with his true self. He can melt into Xiao Chiye and think of nothing but him.

I think the real turning point in their relationship was in the Public Ditches arc. Shen Zechuan is literally out of commission for several days due to illness and Xiao Chiye came to watch him every single night. Shen Zechuan had no choice but to let Xiao Chiye take care of him… but the tenderness Xiao Chiye showed him? The genuine concern? The comforting whispers and cuddles? It left an impression on Shen Zechuan.

I think Xiao Chiye’s sincerity truly shined through to him in those moments. None of those actions were necessary, and yet Xiao Chiye ran himself ragged handling his professional work and his silly little guy.

Shen Zechuan being cherished in such a vulnerable moment showed him that he could really trust Xiao Chiye. Half a decade before, people in power took advantage of Shen Zechuan and pinned the deaths of tens of thousands on a confused and delirious teenaged boy, while this big love struck dummy showed Shen Zechuan an intimacy he had never experienced before. And that’s so beautiful I could cry.

Shen Zechuan doesn’t need to be on his guard around Xiao Chiye, and Xiao Chiye likes being a leader. Shen Zechuan has his trusted confidant and Xiao Chiye tamed his falcon. …well, work in progress. His falcon still gets himself hurt carelessly.

Shen Zechuan needed stability and someone to lean on. And he found that in Xiao Chiye.

I have so many thoughts. OMG I’m so unwell about these two. I started writing this at 3am and forced myself to go to bed and finish it upon waking up. They drive me crazy. All the worm in my brain are Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye shaped!!!

In my next essay I shall explore why they rolepla—

[bonefall]

BGA fumbled Gray Wing so hard but can we please talk about how they said people hated Clear Sky bc " he's a villain " ( unless I'm misremembering they said that a lot ) like they're right in a very generalized way but come on. Also I noticed a lot of Crow cope but maybe that's just their humor going over my head ( also how tf are they gonna say " yup Tom is a monster " but then go " they hate him bc he's morally gray/a villain " )

Listen... BGA is far from a "bad" WCtuber, and she's not the only one to have this problem, but that video did have that same vibe that most Please-Read-DOTCers have where it feels like they haven't actually critically engaged with the arc they read.

like. i promise you that nothing about Gray Wing smugly watching a domestic abuse victim get dragged back to a wifebeater because it "serves her right" for taking his Plan B Love Interest away from him for 6 months is treated as "morally gray" by this story. Bumble is in fact ultimately blamed by both him and the narrative for getting killed by his shitty brother, because she was a soft, fat woman.

RE: Skinwretch's post:

And speaking of the shitty brother (the one whose victims are exclusively women, children, and his god-given doctor).

While it is true that there was a general trend in her poll to put villains low on the list (which makes it hard to tell if they're actually hated or just fulfilling their role as villains), it's a little disappointing she didn't try to interrogate why Clear Sky was right next to Bramblestar. Of all the villains, why was this one so low?

Especially when she managed to note;

Barely anyone actually read DOTC, and yet, Skystar still ranked second place

He's the only villain to get a ""redemption arc"" and that makes the back half of DOTC dissonant

Star Flower's romance with him was, in her own words, "weird."

She's got the dots. The video was kind of agonizing because she didn't connect them.

I WILL say though that we need to put the term "morally gray" up on the Big Kid shelf until everyone like her stops saying that liking Breezepelt is "excusing his actions" while also implying that encouraging your son to direct hatespeech at your ex and doing mental and physical child abuse is actually very nuanced if your girlfriend died.

If that was just part of her humor I don't know her well enough to "get," that's fair enough. Still, it rubs me the wrong way because that's a genuine stance I encounter a lot in this fandom.

DISCLAIMER: I don't know BGA or her stances enough to have opinions about her, all of these gripes are generally aimed at wider fandom trends.

[lottielovelace]

die prinzessin

(PLATONIC könig & sister!reader)

summary: So... turns out your mystery half-brother is a giant Austrian special forces operator. What now? (Catching up on two decades of sibling bonding, that's what)

originally posted on ao3 (wordcount: main version 3.1k)

Rating: T

Relationships: Platonic König & Reader, König/Horangi

Ao3 Tags: Brother-Sister Relationships / Sibling Bonding / Long Lost/Secret Relatives / reader is konig's half sister / Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (reader has scars implied to be from SH but it's ultimately left up to interpretation) / Deutsch | German / Author speaks German (as a second language) / Historical References / reading the prior installment is recommended but not required

this is a part of a series

Notes:

Possible triggers: - König teaches MC to shoot. No violence, but he gives her semi-detailed instructions on how to handle a sniper rifle. - MC talks about past mental health struggles, and König notices old scars of her. These are implied to be from SH, but I tried to leave it open-ended for anyone who doesn't want that in their reading. - König implied to have previously experienced homophobia.

Prior context: I recommend reading the previous installment in the series, but if you really don't wanna here are the truly crucial parts: Your name is Elisabeth "Elise" Linh Veidt, a medical student. You were kidnapped to serve as hostage for a half-brother (König) you've never met before, who ended up rescuing you. There's more, but it's not directly tied to this fic so I'll leave it unspoiled in case you do become interested in reading the first work in the series. I do not use Y/N. I sometimes do use "Elise" & other specific details (you'll see why it's unavoidable in this fic) but I try to—when possible—keep things vague so you can freely project onto her (ex: using "your hair" instead of "your dark hair").

About the German: I speak German as a second language. I like to assess my skill level as "I know what Genitive is, but I don't always remember to use it." As Hochdeutsch-speaking foreign civilian, my speech patterns/vocabulary are going to be pretty similar to Elise's but very different to König, a native Austrian and a hardened soldier. I tried translate as accurately as possible (lots of LEO usage), but besides maybe a "servus" or two, I made and will make no attempt to mimic the Austrian dialect because it's frankly a lost cause for me. That being said, if you are a native speaker and notice any grammatical/syntactical mistakes (or even any sentences where you go "he would not fucking say that" [ex: a term being super formal or old fashioned] please let me know!

About the legibility: This is the primary iteration of the fic. If the German really does make it impossible to read, here's a version devoid of foreign language, but if possible, I highly recommend reading this version for the fullest experience. This version is the most proofread edition and even if you don't speak the language there was linguistic nuances you can still pick up on. If there are any cultural references you don't get, I have an explanation post linked at the bottom. (also available here)

"Können wir jetzt sprechen?” [ Can we speak now? ]

“Fast,” [ Almost ], your brother answered as he continued to guide you through the complex’s winding halls. His refusal to answer questions until your surroundings were secure made the flight over to the KorTac base feel endless.

Finally he stopped at a door-lined hallway. Approaching the second on the left, he punched a combination into its keypad. It swung open, revealing a modest bedroom.

“Großes Bett” [ Big bed ], you noted. His cot was large, even for someone of his rank.

“Ich habe ein Verzicht erhalten” [ I got a waiver ], he lazily indicated at his height. You were once again reminded of your stark height difference.

You looked at him—or at least what you could see of him with the mask—again. Drawing from your bio classes, you knew you shared 25% of your DNA. Clearly none of it manifested in height. Your father had been tall, but even at his peak he was nowhere near as lofty as your brother.

“Deine Mutter muss riesig sein.” [ Your mother must be giant .]

“Sie war.” [ She was. ]

You mentally winced. Way to get off on the wrong foot.

“Meine Mutter ist auch verstorben. Früher dieses Jahres.” [ My mother also passed. Earlier this year. ]

“Entschuldigung.” [ My condolences ].

“Du weißt, dass unser Vater schon ein paar Jahren gestorben ist.” [ You know that our father died a few years ago. ]

You really hoped you weren’t the one to break the news to him.

“Ja, ich weiß. Wir haben einen Brief bekommen.” [ Yes, I know. We received a letter .]

“Gut.” [ Good .]

“Dein Name ist Elisabeth, ja?” [ Your name is Elisabeth, correct? ]

“Ja.” [ Yes. ]

You’re not surprised he knows. There’s gotta be a file on you somewhere packed with everything you’ve ever even sniffed at.

“Magst du deinen Namen?” [ Do you like your name? ]

“Wie bitte?” [ Pardon? ]

“Benutzen Sie Elisabeth oder etwas anderes?" [ Do you go by Elisabeth or something else? ]

“Elise. Und du musst nicht ‘Sie’ benutzen. Wir sind Blut.” [ Elise. And you don’t need to be so formal. We’re blood .] A beat passed. “Wie heißt du?” [ And you? What is your name? ]

“Jeder nennt mich König.” [ Everyone calls me König. ]

“König? Ist das nicht ein wenig dramatisch?” [ King? Isn’t that a bit dramatic? ]

“Wenn du so groß wie ich bin, gibt es keinen Raum für Subtilität. Auch mag ich Geburtsnamens nicht.” [ When you’re as big as me, there is no room for subtlety. Plus I’m not the biggest fan of my birth name. ]

“Darf ich fragen?” [ May I ask? ]

“Ludwig.”

“Ludwig? Wie der König? Der Verrückte?” [ Ludwig? Like the king? The mad one? ]

“Genau. Ich mag es nicht, aber möchte es noch würdigen.” [ Exactly. I don’t like it, but I do enjoy paying tribute to it in my own way.]

“Elisabeth und Ludwig. Unser Vater mochte die Wittelsbacher, ja?” [ Elisabeth and Ludwig. Our father had a fondness for the Wittelsbachers. ]

“Wenn ich der Märchenkönig bin und du die Sisi bist, bist du Kaiserin?” [ If I’m the Fairy Tale King, and you’re Sisi… wouldn’t that make you the Empress? ]

“Dann wäre ich dir überlegen.” [ I would outrank you then. ]

“Gefällt dir das als mögliches Rufzeichen?” [ Would you like that as a callsign? ]

“Was? Kaiserin? Muss ich wirklich einen?” [ What, Empress? Do I even need one? ]

“Ja. Es würde mir ein Stein vom Herzen fallen. Dein Name ist kostbar. Verrate es nicht. Zumindest nicht hier.” [ I think so. It would ease my mind. Your name is a precious thing, I don’t want you to give it away. At least not while you’re on base. ]

Your stomach twisted.

“Du hast mir gesagt, dass dieser Ort sicher sei.” [ I thought you said this place was safe. ]

“Ja voll. Aber jeder kann mithören und hacken.” [ It is. But anyone can tap into radio comms or steal files .]

“Was meinst du damit?” [ What are you implying? ]

“Es ist zusätzlicher Schutz. Bitte. Es könnte irgendetwas. Ich brauche nur, dass du eines hast.” [ It’s an extra barrier of protection. Please. You can pick whatever it is, I just want you to have one. ]

You thought about it for a moment.

“Ich möchte nicht ‘Kaiserin’ sein. Das ist zu viel Macht und Anstrengung. Die Kaiserkrone hat die echte Sisi erwürgen.” [ I don’t want to be ‘Empress’. That’s too much power and pressure. The imperial crown strangled the original Sisi, after all. ]

A smile bloomed on your face.

“Vielleicht zulasse ich ‘Prinzessin’.” [ I might be amenable to ‘Princess’ though. ]

“Prinzessin? Ich kann damit leben. Sinn für kurz?” [ Princess? I can work with that. Sinn (meaning sense/reason/mind) for short? ]

You nodded with deep gravitas, “Einer von uns muss die Intelligenz sein.” [ Someone needs to be the brains around here. ]

Something about the faux-seriousness in your tone made the two of you burst into uncontrollable laughter.

The moment is so beautiful, you almost don’t want to ruin it with the question you know you have to ask. Something ancient, the spirit of Orpheus or Pandora perhaps, urges you to look.

“Darf ich über der Maske fragen?” [ Can I ask about the mask? ]

He paused for a moment, hesitant. Then quietly he spoke:

“Ich kann es ausziehen. Du bist Familie.” [ I can take it off. For you. You’re family, after all. ]

There’s a reluctance in his voice that made your heart twinge.

“Du musst nicht wenn du nicht willst.” [ You don’t have to if you don’t want to. ]

“Nein.” [ No. ] This time his voice seems more resolved, “Ich möchte.” [ I want to. ]

He pulled off his hood. His face was ruddy, but it worked well with his light hair and eyes. You two both looked so similar yet so different.

“Du hast alle guten Gene geerbt,” [ You clearly got all the good genes, ] you joked.

He turned his head bashfully, accidentally revealing his battered side profile.

“Deine arme Nase! Was passiert?” [ Your poor nose! What happened to it? ]

“Zebrochen. Ein paarmal. Bisschen verwickelt medizinische Hilfe zu erkriegen wenn du deinem Gesicht verheimlichst.” [ Broke it. A few times. Bit hard to get medical attention when you refuse to show your face. ]

“Nächste Mal einfach ruf mich. Ich habe dein Gesicht schön gesehen.” [ Next time just come to me. I’ve already seen your face. ]

“Mit Verlaub zu sagen, wie viel kannst du hilf mit helfen?” [ No offense, but how much can you help? ]

“Ja leider. Was weiß ich?” [ You’re right. What do I know? ] you bit back. “Ich habe nur noch ein Viertel vom Medschule übrig.” [ I’m only a quarter out from graduating med school. ]

“Soll das ein Scherz sein?” [ You’re joking. ]

“Das war nicht im Bericht?” [ That didn’t make it into the file? ]

“Nein. Wann ist der Abschluss?” [ No. When’s graduation? ]

You tensed. He was beaming with pride. You hated to ruin it with the ugly truth.

“Ich weiß nicht ob ich graduiere.” [ I don’t know if I will graduate. ]

“Warum? Hast du schulische Probleme?” [ Why? Are you having troubles at school? ]

“Sozusagen. Meine Noten sind gut, aber heuer versuchte ich zu ausscheiden. Sie ließen mich nicht, so nahm ich Gewaltkur.” [ Sort of? My grades are fine but… I tried to drop out earlier this year. They wouldn’t let me so I took more… drastic measures. ]

König’s eyes drifted to your scars.

“Sie sind alt.” [ They’re old, ] you reassured. “Und danach dem ganze Entführungquatch, ich bin entschlossen zu überleben. Vetrau mir. Deshalb möchte ich nicht zurückkehren. Ich möchte leben, nicht in Schule sorgen.” [ Plus after the whole kidnapping ordeal, I’m more determined to live than ever. Trust me. That’s why I don’t want to go back. I want to live, not suffer more in school. ]

Your brother looked at you disapprovingly, “Du musst zurückgehen.” [ You need to go back. ]

“Kann ich einfach hier bleiben? Bei dir? Ich könnte Medizinerin sein.” [ Can’t I just stay here with you? I could be a medic. ]

"Medizinische Arbeit ist nicht leicht.” [ Being a medic is hard work. ]

“Fleiß ist kein fremd.” [ I’m no stranger to hard work.]

“Du wärst ein bessere Medizinerin, wenn du Schule fertigbringst.” [ You’d be a better medic if you finished school. ]

You stared at him with arms crossed, unyielding.

He tried again, “Wenn du dein Medizinstudium abschließt kannst du hier arbeiten. Und du erhältst eine besondere Belohnung von mir.” [ Look, if you graduate you can work here full time—and I’ll ensure you get a special reward. ]

“Was?” [ What? ]

“Eine Überraschung. Du wirst es schön wissen.” [ It’s a surprise. I won’t tell you. Yet. ]

You pursed your lips. Clearly this wasn’t an argument you were going to win.

“In Ordnung. Aber lass mich länger bleiben. Ich möchte dich kennenlernen.” [ Fine. But let me stay a little longer. I want to get to know you.]

“Natürlich.” [ Of course. ]

The tension dissipated.

“Du hast gesagt das du lasst Medical dein Gesicht nicht sehen. Erlaubst du irgendjemand?” [ You said you don’t let medical see your face. Do you let anyone else? ]

Your brother flushed. He really was quite pink under the hood.

“Einer.” [ One person .]

You mentally rolled up your sleeves. You had over two decades of little sister pestering to make up for.

“Echt?” [ Oh really? ]

“Ein Freund.” [ A friend. ]

“Ein Freund oder dein Freund?” [ A friend or your boyfriend? ]

“Ich liebe ihn.” [ I love him. ]

“Gefühl er gleichartig?” [ And does he feel the same?]

“Ja.” [ Yes. ]

“Na ja, ich muss sehen, ob er gut genug für dich ist.” [ Hmm. I’ll have to see if he’s good enough for you. ] 

He slumped in relief. With a jolt you realized he was afraid of you… rejecting him. For what? Being in a relationship with another man? No, you of all people would never do that. You silently resolved to make sure he would never have to fear that ever again.

“Du kannst ihn heute Abend in der Kantine begegen.” [ You can meet him in the mess hall tonight. ]

----------

The mess hall is awash with activity. Even here amongst allies and coworkers, people gave König a wide berth.

“Welcher ist er?” [ Which one is he? ]

König pointed to a man sitting alone at a table.

“Dieser.” [ That one. ]

“Noch ein Maskenträger? Bisschen narzisstisch, ja?” [ Another mask? Bit narcissistic of you, isn’t it?]

You felt your brother roll his eyes under his hood. The sitting man’s head jerked up at the sound of his heavy footsteps. His mask already pulled up over his mouth to eat, the man broke out into a brilliant smile.

“Das ist der Horangi.” [ This is Horangi. ] König introduced. “Klarname Kim Hong-jin.” [ Real name Kim Hong-jin. ]

“Sprecht er Deutsch?” [ Does he speak German? ]

“Ja.” [ Yes. ] Horangi responded. “Er war mein Lehrer. So wurden wir unzertrennlich. Du bist seine Schwester, ja?” [ He has been my tutor. It’s actually how we got close. You’re his sister, right? ]

“Richtig.” [ Yes. ]

“Does she speak English?” Horangi asked your brother, switching languages. You knew it was just a way to test your skills, but it irked you.

“I’m American.”

“Just because you’re American doesn’t mean you speak English. I don’t even know if half the stuff that comes out of Graves’ mouth even qualifies as human speech.”

“Graves?” you looked to your brother for explanation.

“Er ist—wie sagt man das? Yee-haw?” [ He is… how do you say it? Yee-haw? ]

“Südstaatler?” [ Southern? ]

“Geneau.” [ Exactly. ]

You crossed your arms and gave Horangi a final thorough look-over.

“I approve under one condition.”

“Yes?”

“Teach me how to fight. It’s great that I was able to meet my brother but I do not want a repeat of the kidnapping.”

Horangi cocked his head, “Wouldn’t you want to learn from your brother?”

“There are plenty of things I want to learn from him. This is not one of them. Based on size alone, we’re going to have very different strategies. I’m sure he’s a great fighter, but I have a feeling that using his technique with my frame would be… lackluster. No offense.”

“Kein Problem.” [ None taken. ]

“Very well,” Horangi relented. If this was all it took to be on the good side of his in-laws, it was a small price to pay. “I expect to see you at 7 sharp. I won’t go easy on you.”

“Perfect.”

----------

Horangi’s right. It’s not easy, but slowly and steadily—and with no small amount of tears and blood—you managed to win Horangi’s respect (and a nice set of abs).

About a week in, he makes a suggestion. You two were on a water break, your brother was sitting nearby. König had taken to watching your sparring, occasionally commentating or tagging in.

“Du verbesserst!” [ You’re improving! ] the Austrian complimented brightly.

“Und ich habe gar nichts mit es zu tun.” [ And I had absolutely nothing to do with the matter, ] Horangi muttered with mock resentment.

“Unsinn, du bist immer ein prima Lehrer.” [Nonsense, you are an excellent teacher.] König apologized with a kiss.

“Wirklich! Vielen Dank.” [ Definitely, thank you so much! ] you corroborated.

Horangi shifted. Even in training, he still wore the mask—at least while in the base’s general gym. He was more lackadaisical about it in private. Your “family dinners” with him and König had given you a good look at both of their faces. 

You’d become well versed in his facial reactions. Even with his face covered you could feel his devilish smile.

“자기야, du solltest ihr deine erste Liebe vorstellen.” [You know babe, you should introduce her to your first love.]

Your head snapped to your brother. Sans Horangi, you were probably the person on base who he felt most comfortable talking about his past with, but even then it sometimes felt like pulling teeth. You quickly learned to treasure any lore you gleaned.

“Was? Warum habe ich noch nie von das gehört?” [ What? How have I not heard of this before? ]

König raised his hands in defense.

“Das stimmt nicht. Er verhohnepipelt mich.” [ It’s not like that. He’s making fun of me. ]

“Wer ist diese erste Liebe dann?” [ Who is this first love then? ]

“Scharfschützen.” [ Sniping, ] he replied bashfully.

----------

After much cajoling, you finally got König to teach you to snipe. You had a good feeling about it. You always had a steady hand and good hand-eye coordination. Before the kidnapping, you’d even been looking into specializing in surgery (though now—whenever you’d return—you’d be taking a hard turn into emergency medicine and the other subjects required for a combat medic). Plus maybe it ran in the family.

You met at the shooting range one early morning. Horangi had recently been deployed and your brother needed to stop stressing about it.

“Ich wollte ein Heckenschütze sein.” [ I wanted to be a sniper, ] he explained as he showed you the mechanics. The assembly of the gun soundtracked his words with rhythmic clicking.

“Du bist ein Insertionsspezialist, ja? Was passiert?” [ You’re an insertion specialist, right? What happened? ]

“Zu groß. Das wird kein Problem für dich.” [ Too tall. That won’t be an issue for you. ]

You crossed your arms. Cheap shot. König didn’t notice your disapproval, eyes now trained on the target.

“Auch ich zappele.” [ And I fidget .]

“Ich habe dein Scharfschießen gesehen. Du hast eine feste Hand.” [ I’ve seen you shoot. You have a steady hand. ]

“Hände kann ich ruhen. Alles anderes, nicht so viel. Problematisch, wenn man unauffindbar sein muss. Erinnern: Drück, nicht zieh.” [ I can keep my hands steady. The rest of me, not so much. A slight issue when trying to be undetectable. Remember, squeeze don’t pull. ]

BANG

Bullseye.

“Du bist dran.” [ Your turn. ]

You approached the marked spot. This seemed so much easier before you felt the gun in your hands and witnessed your brother’s expertise first hand.

“Hol drei tief Atemzüge. Großer letzter Ausatmen. Das ist der Moment. Beacht Folgemaßnahmen, Rückstoß ist eine knifflige, besonders bei deiner Größe.” [ Take three deep breaths. Big exhale on the last. That’s when you want to shoot. And remember to follow through, recoil can be a bitch, especially at your size. ]

Even with your nervousness, you still found it in yourself to retort.

“Nennst du mich kurz?” [ Are you calling me short? ]

“Für mich seid ihr alle kurz. Das ist nichts speziell. Schussbereit!” [ You’re all short to me. There’s nothing special about that. Position! ]

The gun was heavy, but thanks to your work with Horangi not unbearable.

One.

Two.

Three. 

Even watching your brother’s demonstration hadn’t prepared you for just how loud the gunshot was.

You flinched. Hard.

The bullet went left, landing in the dirt with a small puff.

“Scheiße.” [ Shit. ]

“Gute Form. Ohne dein Zucken, wurdest du ins Schwarze treffen. Du musst nur an dem Krach passen. Probier es noch mal.” [ Good form. If it wasn’t for the flinch you would’ve got it dead on. You just need to get used to the noise. Try again. ]

You were still rattled, but your brother’s confidence in you steadied your hands.

You knew you could do it, you just had to…

Eins.

Zwei.

Drei.

There was no dust cloud this time. Only the noise of the round hitting something solid and your brother’s exhilarated whoop as he took you in his arms.

----------

Saying goodbye was rough. Both König and Horangi joined you on the ride to the airport, wanting to prolong goodbyes for as long as possible.

“Bis bald.” [ See you soon. ]

When your flight finally touched down and you returned to finish med school, it was with a few training bruises, an even steadier finger, and a determination to help your new family the only way you knew how.

An explanation of König & Reader's full names and the historical references behind them

[taebaelee]

Posted this on a small subreddit, but wanted to post here as well. For the new game, while part of me enjoyed playing some of it, I do really think it's such a disservice to be able to really call it a Dragon Age game when the writers stripped away any nuances by trying to make everything black or white; everything feels very basic and borderline cartoonish at points.

Anything morally gray is non-existent and you have no real influence in the game. No matter what you do, you are forced as the player to play a super friendly (or chaotic-good) at best protagonist with no opinions on the world of Thedas. This is what makes this not feel like a Dragon Age game to me.

This isn't super long, but there are spoilers under the cut as to why I feel this way. I do speak very critically about the new game, so please do not read if you think it may offend you as that is not my intention; this is more of a therapeutic rant for me and fellow DA lovers who feel disappointed about the writing.

While people can argue on how the previous games handle the situations involving anti/pro mages, templars, elves, the chantry, etc-- you can't even talk/argue about literally ANYTHING in the world with anyone as these ideas simply do not exist in the game OR are introduced but with a narrative already framed around it by the writers ideals.

- Factions/groups you work with are too virtuous. We could have had such deep and complex dynamics with the factions and how their backgrounds change your relationship with the characters in the world, or how the party members interacted with each other. Instead, none of it really matters as the game sanitizes the world around the groups to make the party members and factions palatable to the masses. A literal criminal organization, the Threads, is shown in a more positive light because while they commit other crimes, they don't deal in slavery? The Lords of Fortune (who are mainly mercenaries) would return cultural artifacts to the ethnic group they belong to-- they loot and steal, but are morally conscious enough to not steal from other cultures? The Antivan Crows who canonly bought and enslaved children, who made said children prove themselves through gruesome tests that sometimes included killing their own peers, are now played out like they're justice fighters. The the closet the game gets to showing any of the truth is small party banter you may miss with Lucanis saying his training was like torture, but it is to never be discussed again.

- The characters all get along way too well. Rook can't ask a character's opinion on the other factions, races, classes, religions, etc-- let alone reply back with their own thoughts that may go against the members views as we don’t really even get to see their opinions on them. Whenever the disapproval bubble pops up, which it rarely does, it does not change anything and it is not brought up again. There seems to be no consequences with your party members based on your choices, which makes the characters likeness towards you feel unearned as they seem to have no agency of their own. In DAI, if Cassandra has low approval then you can get a scene where you call her pathetic as she's stumbling over drunk and yells at you for ‘coddling mages’ or in high approval she can have a scene where she says something along the line 'while she doesn’t agree with everything you have done, she admires you.’ or in DAO Zevran can either betray you and go back with Taliesen/Crows or he can tell Taliesen he is not going back. Even something as small as the characters greetings change based on approval status when you visit them at skyhold. There are tons of examples I could give from previous games, but not a single cut scene seems to change with your companions outside of the final decision you make for them at the end of their companion quests. And to add on top of this, the party members all get along perfectly. If they disagree it is quickly resolved and moved on. Where are my Fenris and Anders fights or Vivienne and Solas sassy quips towards one another?

- No religious themes in the new game feels so out of place as this game literally changes the fundamentals of religious beliefs in the world of Thedas and could cause for a complete uproar with those that believe in the Maker and Chantry. The first game opens with an excerpt from the Chant of Light explaining the origins of the Blight and the Chantrys version of the truth and the whole mage/templar battle which is such a major theme (especially in DA2) in this series is due to the Chantry and this new info shows that the Chantry is wrong (or partially) and this can actually be completely missed behind a side-quest? Also, are we supposed to believe that all the Dalish just know Solas is better than Elgar'nan now? Strife say something along the lines that while Solas may be a bastard he is better than the other Evunaris" WHEN WAS THIS ESTABLISHED? Solas directly talks about how when he tried to tell the Dalish his identity they either didn't believe him or attacked him for being the God of Lies and Trickery. Yes, it has been a few years, and more may know the truth now... but how many as according to the old games the Dalish WORSHIPPED the ground Elgar'nan walked. If so many like Solas now from knowing the truth suddenly, where are all the followers for the Dreadwolf? Not only do we not have any missions regarding the agents of Fen'harel, we don't run into any at all.

- This sounds bad out of context, but where is the slavery/racism? I know a lot of people wanted them to tone some of it down, but for it to be completely removed just does no feel right when Tevinter is canonly known to be the worst place for slavery when it is openly practiced and legal... Also, playing as an elf feels very out of place during an undercover quest with the Venatori, but they already had them working for Elgar'nan which doesn't really add up either; so I guess they are just fine with Evles now after thousands of years...

- None of the previous games matter. While fundamentally, each game has their own story, I liked seeing the cameos of characters reflect past choices. One, of many examples, would be that we got to see Alistair either become a drunk in DA2 and forgotten by the narrative; or have him become a King or Grey Warden in DAI where you can even ask him about the Hero of Ferelden and his answers are different depending on how you played the game! Now we have some characters return but as a blank slate as the writers did not want to invalidate previous choices, but essentially let the characters' cameos fall flat because of this. What is the point of a character returning if they don’t reflect the character I know and helped them become what they are today through my choices?

I know I have a lot of negatives even when I said I liked part of the game, but it is a huge disappointment as the reasons above are what made me LOVE the series with it being so enriched with its environment and now it feels like a hollow shell of itself.

[fatcathappycat]

7 x 7 year gap Narumitsu fic recs (part 4)

The seven year gap years are some of the richest for Narumitsu fan fiction. Below are seven more of my favourite seven year gap fics, in no particular order. This is part 4 of a series. See Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 for the others!

Sharing because sharing is caring <3

1) The Path Once So Clear by Wildfey

Rating: T Words: 4,693 Time to read: 60 min

Beautifully written with empathy for our beloved characters, this fic is a freakin’ hidden gem. It takes place over the summer of earlier in the 7yr gap and contains the origin story of how Phoenix meets Athena. It has fantastic and smart dialogue written with affectionate humour and savvy. I fell in love a couple of times over the 4 chapters. Highly recommended.

~7~

2) Tomorrow by marttyyriroskis

Rating: E Words: 54,215 Time to read: 3.5 hours

In my eyes, this work is incredibly underrated and deserves so many more kudos and comments and bookmarks. The take on the characters ring so truthfully. Not fluffy. Dark but wholesome. If you like rewarding character growth journeys, not sketched but painted, based on key canon events, this fic is for you.

~7~

3) like a warm embrace by Samioli for hydrancheas

Rating: E Words: 8,828 Time to read: 40 min

Miles finds himself in a situation where he needs to wear Phoenix's hoodie and when he puts it on, he finds it smells like Phoenix, and, um, it leads to some smexy, schexy, swexy times. The one with the hoody and corset (I had no idea male corsets were a thing until I read this fic, and uh, thanks fan fiction for bettering my life!). One of the tags says 'Porn with Feelings' but honestly, there is a story arc here, it's wonderfully written and it's lovely.

~7~

4) if you leave the light on by angstinspace for starluci

Rating: T Words: 16,077 Time to read: 1.25 hours

One of my fav 7 yr gap fics that is on the comforting side of this era. Phoenix and Trucy spend time with Miles in Europe. Filled with gorgeously written locations, memories of closeness but where the timing just wasn't quite right, and tender domestic moments, Miles is pining kinda hard in this one, but that said, read this to feel better. <3

~7~

5) Promise You'll Stay by thornrabbit

Rating: M Words: 14,903 Time to read: 60 min

The story of how Miles came to secretly live with Phoenix every time he's in LA. I loved this one on so many levels... Thank you thornrabbit for all the feels and just the perfect amount of exciting, sensitive and beautifully written smut ;)

~7~

6) waiting for the post credits by kitelines

Rating: G Words: 4,676 Time to read: 20 min

Really nice short fic. When reading you can just picture their location, feel the weather, taste the crumbs, sense texture of the scarves and concrete, and pick up on the tension, love and subtexts/nuances in their relationships. Such flavourful, good writing. I'm a huge fan of kitelines’ writing and encourage you to binge them all. Most are works you can devour in under 30 mins, and all of them are just wonderful. This fic is part the Wright Family Week 2022 series

~7~

7) 3 x 7 year gap ficlets! by various

Yeah, yeah, I may be fudging my '7 x7' rule - but self-made rules are made to be broken my babies! Moo ha ha haaaaa!!! Ψ (•̀ᴗ•́)و

7.1 Those Are Bad for You by SaturnPeach Rating: M Words: 516 Time to read: 2.5 min Hiccups and wine on the balcony, and good, believable dialogue in a ficlet 👍

7.2 you only have one chance by SapphireWine Rating: T Words: 1170 Time to read: 5 min I'm laying down this one, because it is so beautiful and good (this is the one where Miles has more than one glass of wine the night before Phoenix has to leave and he realizes that 'he needs to kiss this man before he leaves. Or he might die.'). But really, please go check out all of SapphireWine's stuff. They are a *brilliant* and imaginative writer.

7.3 Phoenix Wright vs Hans Christian Anderson by SapphireWine Rating: T Words: 1,511 Time to read: 7 min Another beautiful, bittersweet, 7 year gap piece by one of the most intuitive Narumitsu masters out there.

Ok, sadly this part 4 ends my 7 Year Gap Narumitsu collection - for now! To keep you going until I have more, I am including a BONUS 7 year gap fic - An unfinished one! Subscribe to it and join me in the comments section if you like it!

red tape and the pieces of youth by demistories Unfinished - so far the word count is at 31,450 (2 hours) Tagged as M (smut to come?) This is a really sweet canon adjacent au fic where Miles and Phoenix get married in order to adopt Trucy. I LOVE the fact that this author realized that Phoenix's adoption of Trucy in the game was highly improbable in real life, so they did a pile of their own research and took matters in to their own hands. Sensitively written with humour and empathy. Come for the fake marriage of Miles and Phoenix, stay for the Franziska, Maya and kids.

Do you have a seven year gap story that I haven't featured yet? Please share in the tags or comments!

And thank you again to the authors for sharing your awesome talents. You’ve enriched my life so much (and yeah, maybe helped me procrastinate from doing my taxes and housework 🤓❤️)

˚₊‧ ✩ ੈ* ♡ ₍˄·͈༝·͈˄₎ ੭ ♡ * ੈ✩‧₊˚

[dewwshi]

TRANSFEM DRIZZT MASTERPOST

breaking my usual “only art posts” rule on this blog to write a dissertation on a thought that has been on my mind since literally homeland. LISTEN. i'm gonna proselytize i’m honestly shocked i haven't seen anyone else say this before. i think drizzt do'urden is transfeminine coded, specifically trans lesbian coded. and i have EVIDENCE. (WALL OF TEXT UNDER CUT)

for the record i'm gonna use he/him pronouns for drizzt in this largely because that's what he uses in canon but i feel like he would for sure switch to she/her or something if he did transition. but i feel weird talking abt characters with pronouns other than canon ones

i'm transmasc so for transparency when i speak abt transfem experiences it's from what i have heard and learned from transfems and take all generalizations with a grain of salt blah blah blah nuance vanilla extract be normal please

also i'm currently only on spine of the world. i have no idea what happens in later parts of the series so my evidence is only from books i’ve read + be forgiving if you know smth i don't + try not to spoil too much thank you BUT ALSO I WANNA KNOW what people think on this sooo yea tell me :heart:

OKAY NOW after all those qualifiers. i'm sorting my evidence into a couple categories:

character evidence (about how being a girl would fit into drizzt’s narrative)

relationship evidence (about how drizzt’s relationships are enhanced by/contribute to his girlitude)

and miscellaneous meta stuff & wording evidence (aka wishful thinking)

CHARACTER/NARRATIVE EVIDENCE

firstly. we MUST discuss the backstory. the childhood trauma.

drizzt's primary backstory, i.e. his childhood in and abandonment of menzoberranzan society, places him in the position of someone who is “too soft” and “too weak” for their society and thus becomes ostracized and outcast. this is a REALLY transfem coded position to be in.

in our world transfem kids get ostracized for not being masculine enough and for being a “sissy.” the situation is obviously pretty different in matriarchal menzoberranzan (“girliness”/femininity is not considered a flaw there the way it is in prevailing attitudes in our world) but the parallel still holds

i'm sure everyone remembers the “you’re a dancer” scene. despite excelling in combat, drizzt (at least pre-melee-magthere) is considered too weak and soft for menzoberranzan even by zaknafein, again framing him as being (by surface standards) more traditionally "feminine" than the rest of menzo men

and YES "you're a dancer" is a complicated scene with a lot of emotional shit going on for both characters but my point is specifically that drizzt's alienation from his society REALLY resembles the alienation that a lot of transfem children experience

for the record he is also very autistic. 100% autistic i’m on that wagon all the way. just to put it on the table

but anyway the queer coding is extremely strong here. the other way you could read the “dancer” gncness drizzt exhibits is as gay coding (many of the same tropes and narratives apply to young gay boys as do to young transfems). i have a couple reasons i prefer the transfem reading though

gayness is not treated the same in menzo. bg3 confirms romantic relationships between women are standard fare in menzoberranzan; my hc is that the same is true among men

that's an explanation from the world's perspective though, not from a meta/writing perspective. to me drizzt's infatuation with women (We'll Get To That) makes him read more like a transbian than a gay man though

anyway back on topic. something the books (the ones i’ve read so far at least) don't really talk about but SHOULD is the relationship with gender (and women specifically) that drizzt would have been left with from his upbringing.

menzoberranzan culture holds that women are above men and that men are inherently worse. you can't just forget something like that after living in a place where that's simply a fact of life for 30 years. lots could be said on that and i think it must have had an effect on how drizzt views women

however to focus on the trans thing let's state the obvious: menzoberranzan gender roles are RIPE for transmisogyny. it’s a society of terfs. the gender roles are SO defined and SO exclusive that an assumed boy even trying on feminine clothing would probably get physically abused. not so different from parts of our world shrugs forever but for a different reason like i mentioned; it's not “girl shit is gross what are you, gay?” it's “how dare you, a filthy man, attempt to partake of womanhood, which you would sully with your very touch” AND AGAIN. THAT SOUNDS LIKE TERF RHETORIC DOESN'T IT?

i think drizzt would have been left with a deep-rooted sense of shame and self-consciousness about gender (as he was about basically all parts of his identity for the record) and i specifically think that a clear parallel can be drawn between those feelings and the transmisogynistic ideas common in our world, in particular the idea that trans women “steal/appropriate womanhood.” in menzoberranzan’s case the idea is more like that “womanhood is a privilege to which men (who are lesser) have no claim.” 

drizzt seems to generally feel like he doesn't deserve to have things he wants, he doesn't deserve to be happy etc etc. and i think it would make peeeerfect sense for that to extend to gender. that he has to learn that he can and is allowed to express his gender freely

then there's the graduation ceremony.

in a journal entry in spine of the world drizzt says the reason he was so uncomfortable with the melee-magthere graduation ceremony was because 1. he didn't wanna do drugs and 2. because Casual Sex Is Bad And You Should Be In Love Before You Do Sex (he's so. repressed. beautiful stupid baby) and while i for sure think those ARE both PARTS of his discomfort, i think i have a bit of extra sauce to add.

consider: the graduation ceremony's purpose (in addition to being a fun light-hearted celebration by drow standards) is to enforce a specific social/sexual gender role onto the young graduates of melee-magthere (clearly the most desirable sexual partners for noble drow women).

that gender role is specifically placed in opposition to womanhood. there's matrons, and then there's patrons, just like the surface world has husbands and wives

i’m thinking that while drizzt is and is written as being HEAVILY attracted to women (again We Will Discuss This), “pretty lady's boytoy” isn't a gender role he's comfortable inhabiting, and so he felt reflexively bad being forced into it.

of course the social role of men in menzoberranzan isn't a nice position to be in even at the best of times but i don't think that was what was on his mind at the time!! what if part of the reason he was so instinctively against partaking was because he rejected the gendered social role placed on him in that moment, a reminder that melee-magthere, and the kind of warrior role he'd been trained for, is for boys alone?

leading from that. in siege of darkness drizzt imagines what catti-brie’s life would have been like in menzoberranzan if she was drow. consider how easily he chooses to imagine her going to melee-magthere instead of arach-tinilith even though the former is boys only. this is SOME kind of gender fuckery for sure. i'm thinking some part of him feels that melee-magthere (and the kind of combat training taught there, which drizzt excels at) isn’t or shouldn’t be for men exclusively. he enjoys being a warrior and he's good at it, but, for him, that warrior role is DISTINCT from a masculine gender, even though in menzoberranzan it wasn't distinct at all.

i find that drizzt being transfeminine boosts the hell out of all of his other “fuck you"s to menzoberranzan society

not only is he an insult to the way of lolth by rejecting it in favour of empathy, but he's going in the face of the entire gender system of menzoberranzan. just totally blasts it. i feel like it adds a whole new layer to his rejection of the lolthite way of life

of course that's an argument you could make of any queer reading of drizzt as a character but i feel like it hits hardest with SPECIFICALLY transfem drizzt. one brave tgirl's Exodus From Terflandia.

but even then when he does come to the surface, he finds himself alone and apart from society. 

in the early books’ world there is no place in surface faerûn society for a drow, it is designed to exclude him the exact same way existing binary cisnormative gender structures are designed to exclude queer people.

drizzt has to start off on the complete fringes of society and then carve a place and home for himself with like-minded people who love him and who he loves. that's exactly what queer people have to do too. is leaving the underdark a metaphor for coming out??? i guess so.

CAN WE TALK about the shit with the mask of disguise in the halfling's gem? THAT SHIT IS TRANS AS HELL!!! again autism coding runs parallel hand in hand here but like.

“you have the choice to suppress who you are in order to fit into wider society. now will you do that, or will you live as someone visibly outside the norms? is it enough to know no matter what, you will still have your loved ones who accept you no matter who you turn out to be, to know that you will be happier if you let yourself express your true self?”

THAT'S THE QUEEREST SHIT EVER.

also drizzt's fixation on personal freedom makes a lot of sense (a lot more sense than it does as in-canon imho) if you read him as trans. in menzoberranzan he would never have had the freedom to do with his body and presentation what he wants.

being able to be the person he wants to be seems to be a central concern in his mind, for himself. he doesn't just have an “i don't want to kill and torture people” objection to menzo culture, but an “i want to be able to choose the life and identity that i want for myself” objection

as it stands in canon the reason why he's so fixated on this isn't clear (so far at least). it makes more sense if he is transfem, and growing up in a system where he was actively prevented from pursuing his own tgirl happiness left him very invested in standing against that

on a meta level the “freedom is the most important thing ever” thing kinda is weird to me (it's very “can you tell the author is american”) BUT it becomes a lot BETTER if reinterpreted as “my old government wanted me dead for being transgender, so i think everyone can do whatever they want forever”

some of the general stuff about drizzt's queercoding in this section is pretty general but i veeery much think specifically transfem drizzt makes the most sense and adds the most to his character and story. and that's what the post is about. so yeah

RELATIONSHIP EVIDENCE

this section is abt drizzt's relationships! wahoo

1. CATTI-BRIE

ok so there’s a lot to say about catti-brie and why i consider their relationship a lesbian one and how i think drizzt's attraction to and love for women reads as extremely trans lesbian in nature.

bringing back that thing about shame from earlier. drizzt has, as he has in all things, a tendency to be ashamed of and suppress his own emotions in terms of romance.

the way he thinks about his attraction to catti-brie reads a lot like the way a transfem with a lot of internalized transmisogyny and lesbophobia might feel abt her attraction to women:

he acts guilty and embarrassed and tries to keep it a secret, to avoid talking about it, to avoid expressing his wants in any way at all

he's also afraid of being punished for it. think back to his stuff about women in menzo. he feels like he's not allowed to feel this way about women OR - HEAR ME OUT - HIMSELF. to me, a fear that he is encroaching on womanhood (both as a participant and as an enjoyer) is a very natural source for that shame

note that it’s specifically when she isn’t looking. ashamed!

drizzt in that excerpt assumes that bruenor would berate him even though he SHOULD KNOW bruenor trusts and likes him enough to fully give them his blessing. also drizzt blushes immediately after this and acts all flustered about it. ashamed!

in siege of darkness (during the "but for now, friends" scene) drizzt does tell catti that he’s in love with her- and follows it up immediately with “it’s no big deal, don’t even worry about it, i can totally just repress it forever if you’re not comfortable with it” (GUT WRENCHING SCENE THAT THREW ME OUT TO THE CURB BTW. AUGH). it's a COPE. he's terrified of being punished or rejected or ridiculed. i think all of those fears tie deeply and specifically into gender- his own, and hers too.

lesbian culture is known for a level of near-rhapsodic adoration for women and i see that in drizzt. the way he talks and thinks about catti-brie is insanely sapphic. basically every time he thinks about her he’s thinking shit like “god she’s the most beautiful and the best and i would die for her and there’s nobody in the world like her” this is truly a kind of infatuation lesbians are famous for. 

are there men who think about women like this? yes of course. is it a cornerstone of wlw culture to a degree that casts even the most cisgender of those men as almost gender non-conforming? i would say yes.

he spends so much of this scene fawning over her that i don’t even know which parts of it to include

i could keep going but listen the point i’m trying to illustrate is that he’s fucking SMITTEN with her okay? and it's EVIDENCE he is a woman i swear to god this is facts and logic and makes sense THIS IS LESBIAN BEHAVIOUR!!!!

AND THE SLOW BURN. the slow burn is lesbian coded as well. wlw stories are LEGENDARY for the extended periods of mutual pining that they often feature. pining is basically a classic feature of lesbian romance.

catti-brie and drizzt spent SIX FUCKING YEARS on the sea sprite together in the time skip between siege of darkness and passage to dawn, the ENTIRETY of which drizzt spent HOPELESSLY IN LOVE with her, and they did NOTHING together. if pining was a song these motherfuckers would have gone triple platinum. and that? oh BABY, is it yuri to me

i could make a whole other post exclusively about a lesbian reading of catti-brie and her relationship with wulfgar being comphet. honestly i could make a lot of posts about catti-brie she's insanely interesting and i have SOOO many thoughts about her. but suffice it to say: i think she’s gay as hell

for the record you may be thinking “okay he’s just in love with catti that’s why he’s like that” true but he is also fascinated with and identifies himself with a lot of the women he meets on the surface. and of course there is The Guenhwyvar Thing

2. THE GUENHWYVAR THING

let's discuss The Guenhwyvar Thing

you guys remember the fucking poem from homeland? about how beautiful and incredible guen is? literally the first time i saw that i was like “this is the most tgirl shit i've ever seen.”

are you guys seeing this??? “you, girl panther, are how i feel inside, i wish i could be you for realsies." reflection from mulan core. on all levels except physical i am a giant female panther

the fact that drizzt is so utterly enamoured with, again, a Female magical panther reads as extremely transfem coded to me. i truly feel like guenhwyvar's gender is a core facet of why drizzt adores her so much.

drizzt's relationship with guenhwyvar is – and was from the beginning – a place where he could freely admire and relate to femininity without shame.

guen’s femininity (by virtue of its animalness and magicalness) is very different from the femininity of menzoberranzan’s matron mothers. drizzt grew up in with an exclusive and abusive femininity that left him as an outsider, always unable to partake of or even genuinely admire womanhood. but he always wanted to and, when he gets the chance, he does. HARD.

i maintain a headcanon that if drizzt were to play dnd with the companions of the hall, he would play a conspicuously female druid every single time and never explain why it had to be a woman. but i know. I Know Why it has to be a woman.

3. ARTEMIS

god the queer reading here is sooo potent. here's my thoughts

artemis and drizzt’s struggle (at least as far as i've read) is one of a person who pursues happiness even under the risk of being outcast or hurt by society, and a person who has suppressed the need for happiness to secure survival. this can be easily expanded to a queer context:

artemis is closeted or stealth, dismissive of his own queerness. he sees an out and proud drizzt, publically living as a queer person, pursuing queer happiness. (not that drizzt is actually out and proud as a tgirl BUT HE HAS THAT ENERGY! LIFE COULD BE DREAM)

in other words artemis sees drizzt living a life that he (artemis) subconsciously decided long ago was impossible, unattainable, something he had to give up to survive. a kind of life that he hates his own desire to have. he hates drizzt for being happy in a way he wants but has decided he cannot have and thus nobody should even try for. he envies him.

you may be thinking “that sounds a lot like the dynamic drizzt and artemis already have in canon” EXACTLY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

i really enjoy transmasc artemis who's been stealth since age 10 but i'll admit i'm not as dedicated to that headcanon as i am to transfem drizzt. idk where he's getting that beard from. maybe the crime guilds of calimport have access to magic hrt

bet when you started reading this post you weren't expecting kalvin garrah artemis entreri

anyway the point is that artemis’ redemption arc is the journey from he/him transmasc to he/they transmasc. DOESN'T HE JUST HAVE HE/THEY ENERGY?

MISCELLANEOUS EVIDENCE

this section deals a few other little random things that don't mean much but boy do they add spice to my life

UNICORN SYMBOLISM. drizzt's ranger symbol is a unicorn. a symbol of mielikki of course but also perhaps the most feminine of all mythological creatures and he chose it specifically to represent himself as well. and as a ranger/ nature guardian drizzt occupies a very typically feminine role. like who speaks to animals often? disney princesses do. my girl drizzt is a disney princess deep in his heart and i know this to be true.

now last but not least these ones… these are clearly unintended from salvatore’s pov but i find them FASCINATING

supposed to be a reference to his age i think BUT STILL HOLY SHIT? HE SAYS THAT. DRIZZT HIMSELF OBJECTS TO BEING CALLED A MAN. I'M DOING A LITTLE HAPPY DANCE THIS IS THE GOLD STANDARD FOR TGIRL HEADCANON EVIDENCE

let’s parse this okay because it’s pretty weird and confusing wording. the hag says it is “not for any man; it’s for two and only two” and those two are catti-brie and drizzt, implying NEITHER of them is a man.

the second half conspicuously shifts from “man” to “male,” again avoiding calling drizzt a man and implying he may be male (biologically), but he ISN’T a man. it’s also kind of tacked on to the end, to single drizzt out. almost like the hag was like “shit they’re not going to figure out who the other not-man is so let me add this second thing to it”

and yes of course the author-intent reason it’s phrased like that probably has to do with the word “man” which is sometimes used in these books to mean “human” HOWEVER given that everyone there immediately assumed “no man” referred to catti-brie (who IS human but NOT a man in the gender sense) supports the reading that it does mean gender

IN CONCLUSION

i think drizzt do'urden is a tgirl. i’m just about 100% certain this was not RAS' intent but nonetheless i think a reading of drizzt as transfem based on the evidence present in the books both makes sense and adds a lot to his character AND the other characters AND the story and themes. basically he’s a girl. thanks for readingg

[thewulf]

Veiled Allegiance || Aragorn

Summary: Request: I was wondering if I could request an Aragorn x reader where the fellowship is already on their quest and maybe the reader is a ranger or just a good fighter but maybe she saves Aragorn’s life and he asks her to join them... Read Rest Here

A/N: Ahhh loved writing this one! Thank you so much for the request. As always, please keep them coming!

Pairing: Legolas x Female Reader

Word Count: 2.5k +

TW: General LOTR triggers, anxiety, orcs, bows, knives, killing creatures

The forest whispered secrets to those who dared to listen, its ancient boughs swaying in a silent dance with the wind. Among the shadows, you moved with the grace of a predator, your cloak melding seamlessly with the darkness that coated the land. You were a Ranger of Ithilien, a ghost in the night, your past veiled in mystery and your purpose known only to yourself.

It was amidst the tangled undergrowth of the woods that you stumbled upon them; a ragtag group of travelers bound by a common purpose. The Fellowship, they called themselves, their faces etched with determination and the weight of their quest heavy upon their shoulders. And yet, amidst the weariness and uncertainty, there burned a flicker of hope, a flame that refused to be extinguished. You followed and listened to the nine males walking towards their sure death, so you learned. Who in their right mind would travel to the dark with such determination?

At first, you observed from the shadows, your keen eyes taking in every detail, every nuance of their interactions. You watched as they argued and laughed, their friendship a testament to the bonds that bound them together. And though you remained on the periphery, a silent observer in a world not your own, a part of you longed for the connection they shared.

It was on a fateful night, beneath the shadow of darkness, that your paths would intersect in unexpected ways. The Fellowship found themselves beset by enemies; their camp surrounded by creatures hungry for blood. With blades drawn and hearts pounding, they prepared to face their assailants, unaware of the silent watcher in their midst.

As arrows flew and steel clashed in the night, you swiftly engaged, a lethal force amidst the chaos. Closer to the heart of battle with each fallen foe, your presence epitomized death's fury. Amidst the aftermath, you stood amidst carnage, your cloak stained by enemy blood.

Silence fell heavy, punctuated only by fallen breaths, before the Fellowship turned to you, eyes filled with gratitude and wonder. Bonds formed, destinies entwined, as you found your place among them amidst the battle's ruins.

"You have proven yourself a true ally this night," he said, his voice carrying the weight of authority and respect. "Will you join us on our journey?" For he knew the value of having another person skilled in battle would be for the Fellowship.

His words hung in the air, heavy with significance. You met his gaze, your own eyes searching his for any hint of deception or ulterior motive. But all you found was sincerity, a genuine desire for your companionship on their quest.

For a moment, the weight of his request bore down upon you, the magnitude of the decision looming large in your mind. You had spent so long walking the path of solitude, guarding your heart against the pain of betrayal and loss. To join the Fellowship was to forsake the shadows that had been your home for so long, to step into the light and embrace the bonds of friendship and camaraderie.

But as you looked upon the faces of your newfound acquaintances, their expressions filled with hope and trust, you knew that your journey lay not in solitude, but in the company of kindred spirits. With a nod, you accepted Aragorn's offer, your voice steady as you spoke your oath of allegiance.

"I will join you," you said, your words a solemn vow. "Together, we will face whatever trials lie ahead, united in purpose and bound by the ties that bind us."

And as the Fellowship gathered around you, their voices raised in a chorus of affirmation, you felt a sense of belonging wash over you, a feeling long forgotten amidst the shadows of the past. For in that moment, amidst the ruins of battle, you had found not just allies, but friends—companions on a journey that would test the limits of courage and compassion, and forge bonds stronger than steel.

As the days turned to nights and the Fellowship journeyed ever onward towards their destiny, you found yourself gradually forging connections with each member, your bond with them growing stronger with every shared hardship and triumph.

With Legolas, it was amidst the tranquil beauty of the forests that you found common ground. As fellow guardians of the natural world, you shared a deep appreciation for the wonders of the wilderness, your spirits entwined with the song of the trees and the whisper of the wind. Together, you roamed the woodlands, your laughter mingling with the rustle of leaves as you regaled each other with tales of your travels.

Gimli, though gruff and stubborn at first, soon warmed to your presence, his respect for your prowess in battle matched only by his loyalty to his companions. Through shared trials and triumphs, you earned his trust, your determination and courage earning his admiration. And though your banter was often filled with jests and barbs, beneath the surface lay a bond forged in the fires of battle, unbreakable and true.

With Frodo and Sam, it was a connection born of shared burdens and the weight of destiny. As guardians of the Ring, they bore a heavy burden, their hearts weighed down by the knowledge of the perilous quest that lay before them. Yet, despite the darkness that threatened to consume them, there burned a flicker of hope—a hope that you found yourself drawn to like a moth to a flame

The connection you forged with Gandalf was one steeped in wisdom and guidance. As the Fellowship's guide and mentor, he possessed a wealth of knowledge that proved invaluable on their perilous journey. From the depths of Moria to the towering peaks of Caradhras, Gandalf's wisdom and foresight guided the Fellowship through the darkest of times.

With Merry and Pippin, it was your kindness and compassion that endeared you to them, your willingness to lend a helping hand in times of need earning their undying gratitude. Together, you shared in their mischief and their merriment, your laughter echoing through the halls of Moria and the fields of Rohan alike. And though their innocence sometimes tested your patience, their unwavering loyalty and steadfast friendship were a constant source of comfort in the darkest of times.

Boromir, though burdened by the weight of his own fears and doubts, found solace in your steadfastness and determination. In your presence, he saw a kindred spirit—a warrior forged in the crucible of adversity, yet unbroken and unbowed. Together, you stood against the tide of darkness, your courage inspiring him to rise above his own limitations and fight for the greater good.

With Aragorn, the bond that blossomed between you was one of mutual respect and shared determination. From the moment you saved their lives in the heat of battle, a bond was forged, strengthened by the trials and tribulations of the journey ahead.

As a fellow Ranger, Aragorn understood the weight of duty and the burden of leadership, and in you, he found a kindred spirit—a warrior forged in the crucible of adversity, your resolve unyielding in the face of danger.

Together, you stood at the forefront of the Fellowship, your skills in battle complementing each other's strengths and weaknesses. In Aragorn's steadfast leadership and unwavering courage, you found inspiration, his presence a beacon of hope in the darkest of times.

But it was not just on the battlefield that your bond deepened. In the quiet moments shared around the campfire, you listened as Aragorn spoke of his past and his struggles, his voice tinged with the weight of responsibility that lay upon his shoulders. And in those moments, you offered words of wisdom and encouragement, your own experiences serving as a guiding light in the darkness.

Yet, it was not just Aragorn's strength that drew you to him, but also his compassion and empathy. In the face of adversity, he remained steadfast in his commitment to protecting those under his care, his heart a wellspring of kindness and understanding.

And as the Fellowship pressed on towards their destiny, you found solace in the quiet moments shared with Aragorn, his friendship a source of strength and inspiration. For in the heart of darkness, even the smallest gestures of kindness can illuminate the path forward, forging bonds that transcend the boundaries of time and space.

You and the Fellowship journeyed onward towards the treacherous lands of Mordor, each step a reminder of the perils that lay ahead. It was amidst this backdrop of uncertainty that the gnarled creature, a servant of the dark lord Sauron, lunged at Aragorn as he led the group, its claws poised to strike. In a heartbeat, you interceded, your instincts guiding your blade to block the blow meant for him. The impact sent shockwaves of pain coursing through your body as you staggered back, blood seeping from the wound at your side.

Aragorn's eyes widened in disbelief as he reached out to steady you, his voice laced with concern. "Are you alright?"

You offered him a grim smile, trying to downplay the severity of your injury. "Just a scratch."

But Aragorn would not be dissuaded, his gaze lingering on the blood staining your cloak. "You saved my life," he murmured, his gratitude evident. "I owe you a debt I cannot repay."

With a weary sigh, you shook your head, attempting to deflect his gratitude. "There is no debt between comrades in arms."

Legolas and Aragorn took it upon themselves to tend to your deep wound, their skilled hands gentle yet firm as they cleaned and dressed the injury you had sustained. In their care, you found a measure of solace, their presence a soothing balm to the ache that lingered in your body and soul.

But it was not just the physical wounds that they sought to heal. With each passing day, they offered words of encouragement and support, their unwavering faith in your abilities serving as a reminder of the strength that lay within you. And in their company, you found yourself opening up, sharing the trauma of your past and the burdens you carried with a vulnerability you had long thought lost.

It was during one such moment of vulnerability that Aragorn's gaze fell upon the myriad of scars that marred your skin, his eyes widening in silent horror at the evidence of the pain you had endured. "Who did this to you?" he whispered; his voice thick with emotion.

For a moment, you hesitated, the memories of past betrayals and heartache threatening to overwhelm you. But then, with a steadying breath, you met his gaze, your voice raw with emotion. "There are shadows in my past that I would sooner forget," you admitted. "But perhaps, with time, I can learn to trust again."

Aragorn's expression softened; his eyes filled with understanding as he listened to your words. He reached out, his hand gently tracing the outline of one of the scars, a silent gesture of empathy and solidarity. "I cannot undo the pain of your past," he began, his voice gentle yet resolute, "but I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to ensure that no harm befalls you under my watch."

His words were like a soothing balm to your wounded soul, offering a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness that had long clouded your heart. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you allowed yourself to believe that perhaps, just perhaps, there was still light to be found in this world.

In the days that followed, Aragorn remained true to his word, his steadfast presence a pillar of strength and support. He watched over you with a quiet protectiveness, his keen eyes ever vigilant for any sign of danger or distress.

And as the Fellowship pressed on towards the heart of Mordor, you found yourself drawing closer to Aragorn, your walls slowly crumbling in the face of his unwavering kindness and compassion. With each passing day, the bond between you deepened, built through adversity, and tempered by the trials of the journey.

One evening, as the campfire crackled merrily and the stars twinkled overhead, you found yourself sitting beside Aragorn, your shoulders touching as you stared into the dancing flames. The silence between you was comfortable, filled with an unspoken understanding that transcended words.

Finally, Aragorn broke the silence, his voice soft as he spoke. "You have faced much hardship in your life, haven't you?" he asked, his gaze fixed on the fire.

You hesitated, the memories of past betrayals and heartache threatening to resurface. But then, with a sigh, you nodded. "Yes," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "I have lived much of my life alone, guarding myself against the pain of letting others in."

Aragorn turned to look at you, his eyes filled with empathy and understanding. "I know what it is to carry the weight of past pain," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. "But I also know that true strength lies not in solitude, but in the bonds we build with others."

His words struck a chord deep within you, resonating with a truth you had long denied. And as you looked into his eyes, you saw something there that mirrored your own pain—a vulnerability that he had long kept hidden beneath a mask of stoicism.

Something shifted between you, a silent acknowledgment of the shared scars that bound you together. And as the night wore on, you found yourself opening up to Aragorn in a way you had never thought possible, sharing your fears and insecurities with a vulnerability you had long thought lost.

As the days turned into weeks, you found yourself gradually softening towards those around you, your heart thawing in the warmth of companionship and camaraderie. And though the road ahead was still fraught with danger and uncertainty, you knew that as long as Aragorn walked beside you, you would find the courage to face whatever challenges awaited you and emerge stronger in the end.

For in the heart of darkness, even the most jaded souls can find redemption in the light of love and friendship, their scars transformed into badges of honor by the steadfast kindness of those who refuse to give up on them.

LOTR: Permanent Taglist (If you'd like to be added to any or all works please fill out the form here (Taglist Sign Up): @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @guacam011y @illisea @il0vebeingdelulu @hiireadstuff

[saiintvalentiine]

WAIT im back bc i remembered most of your followers are UUers :3c a bit of seavbo, if it pleases thee? can be requiescat verse but doesnt have to be!

ok well I'm not even gonna defend myself. in fact I don't even think I can defend myself. here's some requiescat flavored seavbo. tho tbh I don't think you need to know anything about requiescat to enjoy it.

Word count: 697

The gardens on the roofs of the Master level houses are always a pleasure to sit in. Seawatts misses them a little, but never enough to abandon his library. But Evbo keeps a house up here, somewhat separate from the cluster of the main city, and Seawatt has every permission to be here whenever he'd like to be.

He sits under an azalea tree, book in hand. His personal library of hand-transcribed books grows as he works on them between his other duties. Many are translations, Galactic to English or Parkour to English, unfit for adding to the library that he simply can't just throw out. He collects them in his little sandstone house, but he's begun to store some of them here instead.

He's probably read this version of this book a hundred times. It's smudged and covered in reworked translations. Nuance is hard, but translation is an act of love, for better or worse, and if there's anything left in this world that he loves, it is this.

Well.

He hears the clattering before he sees anything. Evbo lands on the moss and grass with a 360 flair, windmilling his arms so he doesn't directly topple onto Seawatt. He half succeeds, instead tumbling onto his knees next to where Seawatt's sprawled in the shade.

“Hi,” Evbo says with a grin, eyes glittering in the afternoon sun. “You're here.”

“I let someone else take care of the library today,” Seawatt says. It was terrifying, but necessary. Seawatt won't be around forever to take care of it. Others need to learn. “I've been here all morning.”

“You didn't say anything!”

“You're supposed to be helping the Champion right now.”

Seawatt pushes his glasses up his nose, gold rims reflecting light into his eyes. He shifts them until it doesn't bother him anymore.

“EMF is fine,” Evbo says, shuffling closer, still on his knees. “He said I was being annoying.”

Evbo hasn't realized it yet, or maybe chooses to not acknowledge it, but annoying in EMF speak means that he's been moping. Obnoxious means Evbo's been talking too much about Seawatt. Overbearing means he's stressed. They've developed a whole language around not rubbing Evbo's face into his emotional problems.

Seawatt closes his book and places it on the grass next to him, reaching over and running his fingers through Evbo's hair. Evbo follows the flow, lets Seawatt pull him in until their foreheads bump together.

“Hi,” Evbo says again, quieter, scrambling to take Seawatt's glasses off and store them away safely. “Hi, you're in my house, Seawatt.”

Seawatt's affections aren't easily won, even between them. Evbo knows that. Evbo likes it, even. So Seawatt waits. He doesn't pull him closer, doesn't push him away, just waits.

Evbo knows how Seawatt likes to be kissed. He presses close, presses their mouths together, lets Seawatt revel in the feeling before jolting into motion. He bites until Seawatt's lips are tingling, then soothes the sting with his tongue. He waits until Seawatt's a little lightheaded before pulling away. He lets Seawatt catch his breath, kisses a flight of moles across Seawatt's jaw, and Seawatt digs his fingers nice and well into the back of his head.

“The whole day,” Evbo says. “You've been here the whole day!”

“Mhm,” Seawatt responds lazily, head lulling back into the trunk of the azalea tree. “Since sunrise.”

“Since sunrise!” Evbo repeats, threatens Seawatt's throat with the blade of his teeth for a moment.

“Until sunset,” Seawatt tugs Evbo's head up so that they're eye to eye.

Evbo's always had expressive eyes, and now they spark. He flips them over, part skill and part godliness, so Seawatt is straddling his lap instead.

“Until sunset,” he repeats. “I bet you can finish reading me that book from last week.”

“You'll have to let me,” Seawatt pulls his hair again, this time as punishment.

“Get better at reading.”

Evbo grins, fierce in his demand.

“Bastard.”

Evbo just sticks his tongue out, arms wrapping around Seawatt and hugging him close, pillowing his chin on Seawatt's chest. Such a childish God. But a challenge is a challenge, and Evbo's always known how to bait Seawatt into rising to the occasion.

[archivalofsins]

Hiya! I've been really enjoying your posts for the last year. I would spend my mornings or afternoons' reading over so much of what you've written, though I don't like stuff cause I was worried it would be too spammy. I love sm the different perspectives on Prisoners I've seen through your work, love how you look at Yuno's and Fuuta's crimes, your stuff with Kazui and how you've approached (my fav) Mahiru's crime. Also more general, dissociation gang, looking at the split of prisoners (oh no accident vs active killing) I'm baffled at how little notes you have on some of your posts when I've found them very insightful. Also love how you colour-code text, very neat and makes long posts easier to read! Before encountering your blog I just kind of looked at youtube comments for help understanding the prisoners' crimes, but your analyses are so much more concise and interesting.

apologies if this is weird, thank you sm for all you do!

Firstly, I’d like to say thank you! It makes me happier than anyone could ever know to be told in such detail how much you’ve enjoyed my work and for how long. I especially appreciate the detail you’ve gone into. I love hearing the points that people like about my work and it’s kind of a walk down memory lane to read in a way.

That's why I want to take this time to- I also wanted to highlight some of the other people that have added so much of their own time and personal flair to the Milgram community on Tumblr!

7-4-N

Not a creature, not a specimen, not a being. Do not refer to this existence at all but if you really must Tsumi or 74 can work well enough. Just know your social constructs won’t stick. This being doesn’t adhere to such things. After all happy or sad why decide. One of many fans of Yuno Kashiki. This blogger puts on full display the many social boxes society creates and tries fit the prisoners into. Sometimes even the ones the prisoners try to fit themselves into as well.

Characterization analysis and art mix together to create a truly unique experience-

Theory on what Amane's cult is based on

I wrote something on the post itself but this was really good! I enjoyed reading it a lot for personal reasons. It presents the religions in a very nuanced and unbiased way without sugarcoating anything. Ultimately a very nice collaborative effort that gives a lot to chew on.

Yuno is a "side/supporting character" post

Tsumi is also in charge of their very own Milgram- Tsumigram! Remember what Jackalope said,

"Don't go messing up my (or other people's) Milgrams!"

Tsumi sometimes translates analysis into other languages and has hosted some really fun fandom events. 74 has always tried to create an environment where everyone is able to feel comfortable and have fun together. In a way it’s no surprise Tsumigram is the way it is.

Its focus on communication and the connections between people showcases 74’s willingness to put forth the effort to understand others. Even when things aren't going smoothly. Even more so to the fear and vulnerability that can be created through knowing and being known by someone else. Along with the worry of what one knows about someone becoming obsolete due to that person changing and growing as all people do.

Tsumi understands the problems that can come about when communicating.

How one can try their best and still end up being scorned, ridiculed, misunderstood, or misinterpreted. Recognizing those sorts of things are just as much a part of life as anything else and can give one the freedom to try simply for the sake of trying. Not because it will led to a positive outcome. Sometimes we can't please everyone. People will butt heads.

That’s natural.

None of us can avoid doing things we can't take back, things others may never be able to forgive us for, or understand. Even so that doesn’t change what we as individuals are capable of. Tsumi showed that all it took for fun things to happen was taking that first step and asking if anyone would like to do something together.

Because if no one ever asks then no one can get an answer.

It’s difficult to put oneself out there in such a way to so many people. It could go wrong and when things go wrong as they so often are inclined to- One may feel like they should stop putting themselves out there all together.

That closing off is a good answer. Possibly the best answer one can see in that moment. I know I’ve felt that way. That I’ve backed down, secluded myself, and hid away my opinions while avoiding stressors. It's easy to say to others or even oneself get back on the horse and keep trying.

Yet the truth is time to on one's own is important and can be productive. It can give us the time we need to process the experiences we’ve had recently and collect our thoughts. Then when one is ready that person can come back far better than when they left. Even as true as that is, it’s still important to take caution and not worry about bringing the best of ourselves in everything we do.

Because this idea that we have to meet everyone at our very best can be isolating and tiresome. Sometimes even though it may be hard to believe just showing up is enough. Just a small greeting is enough. It's important to recognize that what we may do that we view as trivial could be everything to someone else.

Tsumi shows me through persistence and compassion that even the tiniest gestures can be cause for celebration.

That things don’t have be grand to matter. No one has to overheat to feel love or freeze to feel loneliness. That both those things make up warmth. That said warmth can be comforting and disgusting all at once. Through Tsumi's presence I’ve gotten to learn the value of multitudes again. Instead of just being interested in the same old thing.

Which I greatly appreciate and believe many others could too.

amugoffandoms

With a mug full of passion and the drive to see what they start through this fandom regular probably needs little introduction. Yet, for those who don’t know I’ll give it my best shot. Stating she’s the number one Yuno fan would be an understatement. I’d need a new title entirely to explain her earnest affection towards one of the most drastically overlooked and prone to oversimplification characters within this series.

Man, Mug and Tsumi both have it tough- Having a fave that’s critically underrated... That’s looked at as an easy open and shut case. Regardless, Mug through their art, writing, and ever-present enthusiasm manages to highlight the subtleties of Yuno’s characterization.

Love Bullet Yuno, Tear Drop redraw, Rookie Yuno

The use of childhood games/questions in Yuno's songs

Yuno looking unusually cold on her second trial cd cover

Mortuus ES, Ergo Ego Mortuus Sum, Fell and Found Out

Outside of taking an interest in all things Yuno- Mug draws, does analysis, and writes fanfiction.

Cyberpunk Dead Boy Fuuta

The Machiavellian concept and how it can apply to Milgram

Ace of Spades and how it foreshadows Hinako's fate

Sing Your Sins!, Press Rewind

They’re even the host of her very own milgram Mugram. Admittedly all of the kids there are troublemakers. A rather eccentric bunch but none of them seem to have done much particularly bad. A lot of what they do seems to be related to their work or how they make a living in general (if they can’t call it work). Though those could just be the characters I decided to focus on. I do find that pattern interesting though. Fan Milgrams are really good at homing in on specific societal issues.

Their writing has a good grasp of imagery. Usually setting up scenes in a way that makes it easier for readers to visualize. When it comes to her art their expression work has great emotional depth conveying feelings in a direct manner.

coffee-without-anesthetics

No painkillers and all energy!

Itha has been around in the community for what feels like before I was here, but I’m actually its senior by a year. Maybe I’ve been here too long… Let’s not dwell on that! I don’t remember a time when it wasn’t here or exactly when it showed up. Giving it this very ageless entity feel that is honestly goals.

Sometimes I just want to phase into existence and out too!

Still just because not many were there to witness its first light doesn’t mean this star burns any less! Its a regular within the fandom that needs very little introduction at this point. If it isn’t talking about Lies of P it can be found just actually blogging generally- Seeing anything come across my dash with that familiar Es icon is a breath of fresh air for me. (Though its icon has changed now.)

Now hold on you didn’t think that was all-

It does translations and art! Translating fanfics from English to Polish or French with the creator’s permission. Well, if you ever feel like translating any of my Milgram ones you’ve got my permission for that. Though… that would quite an undertaking considering how much I write, hm.  Ah- This isn’t about that right now… Sorry.

Its also into Arcane, House MD, The Magnus Archives, Mathematics- and Linguistics & Music. Here’s hoping Milgram and it remain a match made in heaven regardless of how hellish thing get~

DoctorBunny

Ahnnnn- What’s up doc? Now don’t let the name fool you this dude is a Haruka fan- and that diagnosis is lifelong. He’s also not a doctor yet! Curses you to more college- I’m joking, I’m joking! This is another milgram fandom regular who’s dabbled in a little bit of everything.

Art, analysis, translations, documentation- You name it he’s probably done it!

And done it well at that,

DoctorBunny is inquisitive, considerate, and welcoming to his peers in any fandom and anyone within this fandom as well. Always looking for a way to not only enjoy himself but make sure those around him are enjoying their selves too.

Milgram Earphone Translation

Milgram Hallucination Booklet Translation PT1

Milgram x Karatez Interrogation Questions

He’s been a mod on Milgram servers, done real time quick translations of the material, and just generally been a joy to get to know through this series. While he has his biases- He’s not afraid to interrogate them and look at things from different angles.

His thirst for knowledge has created space around him for the opinions of others while still holding consideration towards his own thoughts. He knows that sometimes leaving space for the idea that one’s interpretation may be wrong is not only a reasonable thing to do but the first step to figuring out what may be right. He is one of the people I discuss my posts with in advance. As well as discuss how I engage with media in general with.

Pretty daily at this point, actually. I hope my stubborn nature isn’t getting grating.

He once explained to me that because my wording can come off so adamant and certain in my convictions it can feel a bit overwhelming. Some may think that’s a bad thing but to me I thought it was a really great observation. It made me recognize that I do get incredibly caught up in my beliefs and am prone to speaking as though what I believe is the one obvious truth of the matter.

I can come off as really confident in my convictions because when I see something one way I can become blinded to the other ways it can be. Sometimes I do believe in my reading comprehension too much and that can be limiting. It can be off-putting. So, I’m glad I found a friend who can recognize and not get annoyed by that habit of mine when it comes to discussing media.

Especially since I can be a fast-paced talker and texter when super invested in something.

So, Bunny’s more relaxed and down to earth pace along with straightforward nature of being able to just simply go that isn’t what I meant I meant x. Is incredibly grounding. He brings that measured analysis and grounding personality into the fandom spaces he occupies through he’s leveled responses to media and willingness to meet his peers where they’re at. Rarely engaging with the points of others in bad faith but not letting himself be barreled over either. He's willing to hold space for others but will never compromise on what he believes fully is right.

On top of that he knows how to ask for help and when to be skeptical of what’s being presented and how something is being presented. Ultimately having internet and media literacy that far surpasses my own at times. This makes him an amazing person to have in any fandom and as a friend in general. Sometimes I get up in arms about something I’ve seen online because yes I can be reactionary and at those times I’ve gone off complaining about it and Bunny has more often than not managed to show me a new perspective I’ve never considered before.

It’s important to have people like that who can level you out and understand where you’re coming from especially in fandom a space that thrives off of eliciting a reaction at times.

His art style is dreamy having a lovely display of colors and lighting.

Haruka in pyjamas

When it comes to art he’s very versatile with a good understanding of lining, form, and style. Allowing for an astounding deal of variety between his pieces. His appreciation for drawing as a creative form is fully displayed in every piece he’s made. Though I think the best part is regardless of the drawing there always seems to be a bit of fun put into it!

Good-beans/ Good-beansdraws

Now this is a fandom regular that should need no introductions. She’s the guard of milgramblrgram and done it well at that! Not one person has died or gotten irrecoverably injured and that’s all due to her caring, compassionate, but fair guidance.

Balancing Mahiru’s bleeding heart with Kotoko’s drive for fairness.

She’s created an environment for a good majority of milgramblr to hone their talents and indulge their interests amongst peers with the same passion as themselves. It should be no surprise that this user inspires me every day to turn my words into action.

So, when I say it’s up to us to create a community worth being in those words don’t just sit there empty and I instead do things that highlight the talents and intricacies of the people who make this fandom the place it is for at times the better and the worst.

Because that’s what Milgram is about.

Taking the good, the bad, and ourselves all into consideration and looking for the best path forward together. It’s about realizing that in this life we won’t only see things we agree with, the things we think may not always be right, there are biases in us all that need unpacking and questioning.

Good-beans gives creatives in this fandom a space where they can explore these things within themselves through their many talents.

In everthing she does- She highlights what it means to form community out of fandom in every fandom that’s lucky to have her while still making space for herself and her own feelings about the works she enjoys. Being sure to share her views on the characters through her own headcanons and giving feedback on the writing and headcanons of others.

On top of that she creates a good deal of fanworks. Art and writing. Good-beans art reminds me a lot of graphic novels and western comics. Examples off the top of my head would be Stephen McCranie’s Space Boy, Eric Anthony Glover’s & Arielle Jovellanos’ Black Star, and W.I.T.C.H.

Mahiru Butcher's Vanity

Futa Indulgent Top 3 Redraw

If art isn’t your thing which in this age I seriously doubt it- But you know what they say a picture's worth a thousand words. I personally think that’s undercutting the value of words though. Well, that’s when it’s taken literally it’s more of a figurative statement implying that what a picture does all by itself would take a thousand words to describe in every detail if not more. So, if a pictures worth a thousand words then a hundred thousand words equate to one picture- Again if we’re taking it in the literal sense.

What I’m saying is if you’re looking for imagery then she’s got the words for that too. Sometimes all an artists needs is for a writer to create just the right words to show them something they never could imagine otherwise!

Lights, Camera, Sing Your Sins (A Milgram actor au where the audience gets to see the innerworkings of Milgram!)

So Morning Rise to Light Us (How do you spend your mornings. The time of day where it feels like no one else around. The prelude to everything else you'll do that- We hardly ever think about it but having a morning routine in Milgram must be hard, right? Some people can't handle one roommate let alone nine. This fic goes over the prisoners morning routines.)

himawari-candyy

Let’s keep this simple the way it always should’ve been.

Death, murder, direct, indirect, intentional or unintentional- The meaning of life after loss. Who gives a damn about any of that wax poetically elsewhere. Let’s call a spade a spade. No need to complicate matters.

Let’s all just take a breather and sit with the facts.

There’s a victim here, a life that could’ve been spared. Compared to that undeniable fact do the justifications of the living really matter? Do they matter enough to overshadow the life lost, what it was, what it could have been?

I mean those justifications can only be given because they’re still standing. All of them still have a life to live, something to go back, things to look forward to. In that sense the prisoners have been in the limelight far too long and many fans seem to agree-

Well, at least the number one Hinako fan does!

This girl knows in her heart that Hinako deserved better in every way! In the narrative, in life, and especially in screentime. So many prisoners have pleaded with the audience to think about their victims. *cough* *cough* Shidou trial one voice drama.

Eh-hem sorry that was weird.

Himawari-candy heard that plea and said ya know who deserves that sort of thought Hinako! Because- Damn it, looking at Shidou’s victims on an individual level is impossible even for him.

Q.02 What do you think of your victim?

Shidou: I don’t know who in particular you’re referring to.

Seriously people might just have to ask this man trial three what he thought of his patients to narrow things down. So, what the hell are fans supposed to do? Just make them up think of the families he hasn’t even bothered to mention other than offhandedly?

Every individual that has been notably displayed as a victim within the characters’ stories has fans and detractors just like the main cast. Taking a minute to put ourselves in the victims’ shoes can never hurt and can allow people to get a look at the whole situation. Let alone any member of this audience. We could all do with a little back to basic by asking ourselves what would we do in the victims' circumstances.

Because let's be honest more often than not we're putting ourselves in the position of the prisoners not the victims. Everyone wants to be the misunderstood one who stood up against an earthly injustice or evil but never the victim of someone who saw wrong where there was none. We all wanna be the tragic hero nobody wants to be just another person in the pile of bodies the tragic hero racks up though. No one wants to be the one killed for telling this tragic hero they may have strayed into evil or getting in their way.

People tend to want to be the one that lived. That's why it's so easy to agree with the prisoners sometimes. I mean who else is their to agree with. To the victor goes the spoils. Once the other party is dead the the one living can tell whatever story they want. The worse the victim could do if their grudge is heavy enough is haunt them. Most people that do these things are more afraid of being haunted than being caught for a reason.

So-

Take a walk down this alternative path covered with cute art and her bubbly disarming sociability. Unlike my more morbid and pragmatic speech her casualness makes this line of interrogation far more welcoming. She reblogs fan art others have made as well.

Her own art has a nostalgic look to it akin to a children’s book making the most unsettling things have a sparkle of familiarity and warmth.

Happy Valentines Day

A Heart like A Birds

Always a pleasure to see it making the rounds. Oh yeah, she’s a fan of Alien Stage too! I wonder who her favorites are?

Kyanako

Huh- what’s that sound? Mourning bells- Now, who on earth would… Eh- Ah, of course. Hey, now- Don’t fault the execution(s). Things ending (like lives) is what gives them meaning after all! Well-known for her inclination towards angst and as one of Amane Momose’s biggest fans/defenders.

Kyanako has a habit of exploring the good, the bad, and the angsty-

Order of Attack Banner

Order of Attack

Given her interests in Danganronpa, Your Turn to Die, as well as Long Live the Queen. She's definitely no stranger to dead ends. Hmm... Long Live the Queen, huh? I wonder if she could put some focus into Mu for a little bit to fling her in a Long Live the Queen au? Of course, Mu wouldn’t do the lumen route though.

When she’s not making the fandom a bit more lively with her presence Kyanako can be found enjoying her many ocs, appreciating and making music, and making some really cute clothes for her Milgram plushies.

She’s shown the prisoners hell and heaven alike.

The focus she puts into the interpersonal relationships between them before the collapse makes it all the more shocking when things finally come to their inevitable conclusion.

Conversations

Direct, prudent, and always welcoming she’s a joy to have in any fandom environment- But! Watch out just like Amane she gives as good as she gets.

6 MILLION VIEWS

Purge March Usurps MeMe

As one of the milgramblrgram prisoners she’s known for teaming up with others behind the scenes and sneak attacks galore- But; it’s all in good fun!

Huh, did any of you know about all the multitalented individuals in the fandom? Well, of course you did you’re all here as well! All of you are more here than I am. It must get daunting. It’s easy to get self-conscious when surrounded by talent on all ends.

Even easier to talk oneself out of trying but it’s important to remember that no one can provide your voice but you. It’s something wholly unique to yourself and at times that can be scary and sometimes you won’t always agree with or get along with others because of that uniqueness.

Hey, but it’s not scary- you know that right? It can’t be scary because it’s love! Putting our unique visions and feelings out there in the way that best represents and is most comfortable for us as individuals is the biggest form of self-love one can commit to. It’s something that everyone within this and any fandom chooses to do every day. Hitting those creative walls over and over feeling overlooked that’s an experience any artist is used to feeling be it with their original works or fanworks.

It's something every Milgram fan has become acquainted with due to the nature of the series itself. It incentivizes putting yourself out there in ways that one may have never done before otherwise. Kyanako has shown me in the way that she conducts herself what it means to be a fan of anything really. How being a fan isn’t about gatekeeping or knowing the one true reading it’s about allowing your passion for something to drive you and your interests to paths you may not have trodden otherwise.

Being a fan of something should invite a person to do things they’ve never done before. To look at something in new and interesting ways. It’s something that is more for the individual than the group at times. Kyanako reminds me that liking something quietly doesn’t diminish how much it’s liked. Through her plethora of interests outside of Milgram and her willingness to always look at something new.

I think taking a moment to remember that could be so comforting to a lot of people here just as it was for me.

Linabirb

It’s all systems go when this Amane and Mahiru fan arrives to the scene! This emperor of edits can do it all- Icons, stimboards, layouts for twitter and tumblr! If you can imagine it they can edit it- Just follow the rules alright?

Milgram EEO Collaboration Icons

Milgram Hallucination Icons

You do know what happens to rule breakers- Of course you do!

Their other main interests include Vocaloid, Project Sekai, Twisted Wonderland, and hoyoverse games! Whoa- hang on this little lady does chainsaw man edits too… I- I have something I need to think about.

Also the proud owner of a Milgram! Linagram-

Linagram in the style of the Second Anniversary Milgram Art

Maristelina

Ah, this guy- I don’t know much about them. Wait now; hold on! Just because I don’t know much doesn’t diminish any of her many contributions to this fandom. I’ve seen them in passing often and I really like the one post they did on Harrow with translations of the newspapers.

That definitely gave me a lot to chew on. Oh yeah and there was the second link which is my personal favorite of theirs.

She does art, translations, and a few theories here and there.

Milgram Portal Timeline Masterpost

Trial 1 Song of the Prisoners

One could say he was a little integral for the more than two alter Mikoto theory. Some may know their name from the posts they made on that back in the day.

But Gunsli- I thought you didn’t like that whole line of questioning, and I still don’t. Please don’t get it twisted. Then why- Hold on, hold on. I like information whether that information is contrary to what I know, believe I know, or personally feel is the case does not matter. I treat most information neutrally.

If there’s a way it can make sense I will fucking look for that way.

I’ll walk that bridge whether its with someone else or by myself I have walked that bridge.  Even though I can say I don’t see it. Some good points are made within a good deal of those posts, and they’ve undoubtedly contributed to this space.

Now I’m not singling Maristelina out by any means there are more people on this list that discuss this idea and present it through art. Like it is not personal I am just giving credit where credit is due. They provided a lot of information in regards to this that’s worthy of respect. Information I’m certain has contributed to many people’s enjoyment of this series and that character.

That’s something commendable. I will say I feel more depth could’ve been gone into in some of them and that it fell into a lot of the trappings that those conversations tend to.

Still for all their time spent doing what at times can be incredibly thankless work, his genuine love of the series, her immense persistence in displaying that love even when life starts being life. Maristelina without a doubt deserves many thanks from this fandom and me personally for always showing me something new and impressive.

Also like I said they make art as well- I really like the ways they use lighting it’s super comforting and can give off this fluffy feel at times that I’m partial to.

meowkusunoki

Some may know this user from its Milgram memes. Maybe even his enjoyment of the Evillious Chronicles which was the first thing to come to Star’s mind when she saw the name. Personally, since I am not in the tag often this is the first time I’ve been acquainted with a good few of the people on this list works.

I tend to stick to my little section, my little things, and not branch out too much.

So, I mostly know them as the creator of Dollgram,

First Trial Commencement Notice

An ocmilgram with some very good character amvs and art.

Right now, I would have to say my favorite character is Tadashi just because of how blatantly suspicious she is. She seems to be the sort of person who’s straight forward about their shortcomings despite trying to remain vague.

Very blunt which I like. The character dialogue is organic but feels like it could be flushed out more. The conversations are really engaging and the characterization shines through well. It gives off a feeling of idle chitchat well. I’d recommend checking it out. I had a lot of fun reading it.

Milk-ly

It’s your turn to- Create! If you’re reading all my ramblings, then I got no doubt you may enjoy hers as well! Always happy to start or contribute to a train of thought- if you’re looking to hammer out an idea this girl is the sort to start hitting out the dents with you!

Sweet and to the point she focuses on evening out the foundation of any idea. Fandom is a space where its quite easy to fall into a pattern of dismissing the opinions of others or getting defensive when someone else’s thoughts contradict your own beliefs.

Hell, not even in just in fandom in life it can be very difficult to allow new perspectives in.

Kotoko and Futa's connection to witch trials and werewolf trials

What one believes to be common can be completely foreign to another. Because at the end of the day we’re all living lives that will for better or worse be independent of anyone other than ourselves. So, it’s nice to have someone who’s willing to take a moment to make space for your ideas and discuss them.

For me that’s one of my favorite things even when people disagree with what I believe. Such as the Kazui situation. At the time it felt like a dogpile but I was really excited to hear everyone’s thoughts on it. The timing was simply not the most ideal with life stuff going on. It really gave me a lot to think about when it came to the depictions of instruments in art.

Plus, I got to have a lot of fun looking up instruments and trying to disprove myself in a way. But in hindsight I was pretty whiny heh-heh though I was happy to talk to the person about it and enjoyed her genuineness. That experience reminded me that well people aren’t our worst assumptions and viewing things differently from each other is and should be enriching not degrading or disparaging.

Milk-ly is someone I’ve enjoyed seeing in the fandom because she’s a relaxing presence and tries to give everyone a fair shake. I respect that a lot. Especially when I recognize my own immatureness at times when it comes to presenting myself and my own views.

I can’t help but be impressed by her.  

Regardless of how turbulent online spaces can be she’s been a chill presence all while providing sweet art and good laughs!

Mikoto art and memes

Any fandom is lucky to have someone like her in it. She’s into Your Turn to Die as well maybe one day I’ll go back and do that rhythm game.

Monopoisonous

Poison can be sweet in small doses. Don’t worry, don’t worry- Things haven’t reached the point of lethality yet. Known for their expert use of colors and grasp of anatomy- It’s a bit scary when this resident Mikoto fan goes all out, right?

Yuno art

Mikoto art

It’s an overwhelmingly unique style that blends realism and animation influences together in all the right ways. Hopefully they don’t end up overdosing on Mikoto content before making more~

I wanted to say more so I came back and said more! It's rather clear that Monopoisonous has a solid sense of artistry. It can be easy to take the art at face value simply because of how good it is. To me it comes off as perfectly balanced at times. The structure leans more into realism with a good understanding of the human form.

The anatomy, use of colors, and shading immediately make the art stand out their's to me whenever I see it. They're also a Kagepro and Project Sekai fan. I really liked their Mikoto Additional Memory art. I wish I could say more but I truly am at a loss for words.

Mulling-over-milgram

Casually punctual this Milgram focused blogger analyzes, draws and has even created their very own Milgram- Chromogram!

Squares

Where it’s up to the reader to discern what the prisoners have done through a series of websites. A beautiful combination of graphic design, storytelling, and the old fashion website formats come together masterfully in this new prison.

Except there’s a twist in order to move forward here one party must be found guilty. Whomever the majority of guards find innocent will be innocent and the person who fails to meet the majority’s expectations will be guilty by default.

It’s a bit of a strange balancing act where one party needs to look bad for the other to appear good.

I don’t know how well it will turn out though. Some people have more of an advantage than others going off of the first pair on trial. It’d be very easy for some to view one party as helpless to their circumstances and the other as an instigator or complicit.

I’d be surprised if the verdict there is even close. Though maybe others would disagree. Take a look at it for yourselves and come to your own conclusion. Regardless of the conclusion one ends up drawing it’s a hell of an experience all the same.

Their art style is very reminiscent to some old school visual novels. Well, at least to me it’s giving off that sort of vibe. It really adds to the atmosphere of their Milgram. Oh yeah- In general they seem to have structured way of presenting their thoughts online that sometimes breaks into a more casual tone. They tend to elaborate in a grammatically correct way hence the casually punctual.

It was more about punctuation than timing ha…bad joke, huh?

Alright, alright I get it fandom is filled with a lot of talented visual artists and people who can hold a writing utensil better than I can. The amount of art people have access to at the swipe of a finger can feel daunting. One might just figure it’s easier to just find a singular artist to stick to and call it a day.

Ya, know like how some may enjoy the illusion of choice more than the actual ability to choose.

An abundance of artists in any area is a good problem to have. It can foster variety and ingenuity when engaged with in good conscience. It’s easy to take visual art for granted when we’re all exposed to it so often. Even those who create can fall into the trap of comparisons and end up discouraging themselves. But-

Art appreciation is a skill one must hone for themselves not only as a creator but as a viewer. It’s easy to look at a piece and stay ignorant of the process it took to get there.

It's easy to like something in passing but much more difficult to enjoy something wholeheartedly without pause and show that for all to see. The milgram fandom is lucky to have visual artists from around the globe who won’t hesitate to make their appreciation of the series known through their works.

But Gunsli it’s soooo much art it’s so many links- what a modern society problem to have back in Kazui’s day they didn’t have art. Why do you think colonizers stole so much of it? It was hard out there they had to find that shit in caves and call it history.

“I can’t, I can’t take it anymore.”

Aw come on don’t be that way. The best sort of person is the type who can tell someone every little reason they like something. What have none of you ever looked at a piece of art and gone more than wow nice. Instead said something like the use of colors is amazing, it gives off the feeling of a lazy afternoon, the anatomy gives off a loose unimpeded feeling, the rigid use of lines adds to the constricted atmosphere.

Come on go a little further why don’t you- Like our next artist!

Nomeniko

Now here’s a person that knows how appreciate art just as much as they make it!  

Not only do they create amazing works but he also reblogs a good deal of art from others. She’s art appreciation embodied- It’s pretty amazing to be someone who not only creates but can see the value and beauty in the creations around them. People tend to forget that before creating comes appreciating- Ah, there’s so many works I’ve appreciated in my short life and I’m looking to enjoy many more.

Amane's birthday conversation (2024)

Mikoto system art

When it comes to posting he's got a pretty lax cadence that matches the casualness of their blog well. As for their art this is another nostalgic homerun being a bit reminiscent of FLCL and OFF. The emphasis of their art comes through in the forms with stunning gestures that manages to display movement and feel in a way that can be striking or comforting depending on the overall tone of the piece.

All that to say it’s really good. Sorry, I look at a lot of art but my descriptors can be quite lame- Plus I can compare a lot. I hope that’s not offensive to anyone’s efforts.

Polarmary

This person is never Vi-ing for anyone’s attention. Straight forward and earnest when it comes to her interests, she can be found displaying her enjoyment of Milgram, Arcane, and Kotoko in particular. With occasional post about their day to day here as well. She’s got an style that’s well to put it bluntly they’ve got a range. With a good understanding of form and lighting their art can go from cold and stoic to warm and fluffy.

Deep Cover Kotoko

Girls night

My personal favorites are their animal drawings, the one of the hippo is very cute. Oh then there’s the one with the girls having a sleep over- Plus, the one where Kotoko just adopts a wolf cub. Personally, I think if she just did that she wouldn’t be here but that’s neither here or there. (Give Kotoko and Futa emotional support pets. It’s always correct.)

Fun fact my favorites from Arcane are Jinx and Ekko.

I find this fact fun mostly because I think the reputation I’ve garnered from being in the Milgram fandom is people assuming that I just hate girls and are harsh on them for no real reason. Sometimes all while assuming my gender. My friends find this understanding very funny given what I tend to let slide- and their impression is I am,

Too naïve.

Too forgiving.

Usually, I’m taking Milgram so seriously or being critical as some may see it because that’s how I engage with and enjoy engaging with media. Milgram just happens to invite that sort of scrutiny. I’m pleasantly surprised to see so many people in this fandom are also into Arcane.

Purgemarchlockdown

Are you locked in yet? Well; are you locked in yet?

I can't hear you- Because this is a prewritten text interaction, and I literally cannot hear you and you can’t hear me. Huh I wonder what it sounds like when each of you is reading this internally what type of voice is given to me- Well that’s not important the fact is your eyes are on it and that means you're still reading.

I bet some of you may be wondering what exactly are you trying to sell us on here Gunsli?

What are you trying to accomplish through propping up these other fans. That’s exactly the thing I’m trying to accomplish though. Propping up fans. The one's that have made this environment what it is outside of myself. The people that elevate other people’s perspectives to make something greater than the sum of its parts.

The Milgram staff tries its best to give attention to its fans regardless of where they’re from. Yet, the truth is there are still barriers between the staff in their global audience. Their efforts to include overseas fans with everything is commendable. However, I want people to know there are other things they can do to show appreciation not only towards the pieces of media they may enjoy but the people they enjoy those things with.

It doesn't have to be like this.

Anyone can show their appreciation of other fans in ways that are completely unique to them. There are so many examples. Hosting games, having holiday events, art trades… Those are all things fans have hosted to make this experience more fun for everyone here. Even just sending a few kind words like the ones I received can mean so much.

To quote a certain piece of media “Without love, it cannot be seen”.

There's no one that knows this better than Purgemarchlockdown. It understands the weight of words more than most here. It knows that words have power. That a promise is a promise and that’s it. Generally referred to by Nott it has shown me the importance of not only recognizing the weight of your own words but the weight of the words the people around me use as well.

That one can recognize intent and impact simultaneously.

Regardless of what you’re interested in there’s a mindset specific to you and you alone that only entered this world when you did. Thinking on one’s own, liking, disliking to the point of tunnel vision- Those conversations, disagreements, and thoughts only you can have. The limits in ourselves only we can see.

That’s the thing we all bring to the table in any situation.

So,being able to take a step back and recognize one’s own intent in comparison to the impact one may have had. It’s important. Because no one can ever guess how someone else will take them. Everyone wants to be having fun but they can never really tell the point where that fun has become at someone else’s expense.

It’s easy to tote around values one never has to follow through on.

Easy to type a few simple words about how one doesn’t have to forgive their abusers or be near them, intrusive thoughts don’t define a person, promote one’s self as a safe space for people of color and the marginalized. Claim solidarity when all one wants is the accolades from seeming progressive for appearing kind. But it’s important to be able to wade through the bullshit and see how the people that one shares a space with actually treat marginalized individuals, how they respond to people they claim they’re a safe space for whether those people disagree with them or not, where’s their line at do they care about everyone or only those who agree with them.

How solid is our compassion, how firm are these things we think should be the natural course of things. Do we stand on it when we say it’s harder to be kind than it is to be cruel or when things get hard do we commit to the easy way. Mercy, kindness, active listening and empathy isn’t easy- Sin isn’t easy.

The impact we all have on the people around us isn’t easy.

At a point I had to learn I needed to stop holding my intent in higher regard than my impact. I had to look at how I responded to things and extend mercy to myself for the ways I fall short my own expectations and think about how what I do impacts others. All while understanding that doesn’t mean the intent doesn’t matter anymore.

Yet, the one thing remains true.

If one spends all their life worrying about how they’ll be taken, if something is too much or too little, if they should check in on someone that’s having a hard time or not because of how appropriate they think it may be…

No one gets help from that. No one benefits from someone squashing their own concerns.

Bravery to me is the ability to say I see someone is having a hard time and though it may make life a little more difficult for me or my attempts may be spurned I want to check if they’re okay. At the expense of my ego, even if I may not get answer, I want them to know how I feel and how even if briefly they made my life better.

It takes a lot of courage to put the ball in someone else’s court.

Just let go of control of a situation and meet someone where they are and hope they meet you back. Now you may be thinking,

“Gunsli what does that have to do with fandom- or the Milgram fandom specifically.”

A lot. It has a lot to do with fandom in general and the Milgram fandom. Yamanaka wrote these characters with the intent of them being like any other person in life. They aren’t meant to be viewed so two dimensionally regardless of what disorders or other issues they may have.

Kotoko and fascism

Power dynamics in Milgram

Every character is a full person with multiple ranges of emotions as well as beliefs. If we can’t treat the fans we share a space with like other complete human beings how can we in honesty give the same courtesy to the stories we enjoy. It’s easy to say this is simply the case. Someone is just x and this other someone is just y.

It’s easy to focus on compare and contrast reasoning. Yet, it’s harder to look at someone that one may disagree with and still ask,

"How is this person like me, though?"

Can we look past our egos? Can we stop allowing a character’s mindset to boost us up and validate ourselves. To make us feel good and secure in our existence because they get it this shows that people get it- And see these things for what they are?

Yes, it’s a glorious feeling to see someone write out exactly how one may have felt or has been feeling in any medium- But admiration is the furthest thing from understanding.

Feeling good is nice. Yet, knowing how and why something makes us feel good gives us all knowledge on ourselves. Knowledge that allows us to take a step back and recognize when our biases may be getting manipulated. Not just with Milgram but with things like-

Slay the Princess, Digimon, Umineko, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Puella Magi Madoka Magica- All things Nott brings the exact same energy it brings to Milgram to.

Because when one is able to recognize their likes and dislikes anyone is able to enjoy everything to the fullest like it can.

Create Girl Amane

House of Leaves Shidou

Vincord

Huh- Ah, hello to you! I hope your year has been going splendidly. Hm, I’m probably about to say something no one will understand other than me. Bu-but her art kind of reminds me of playing with clay! Ah how do I explain it. See this is what I meant in the last one about my way of describing art being weird.

I don’t describe it in the technical sense, I describe it based off the weight or feeling it gives off. I’m pretty sure Star doesn’t even understand this one and she’s proofreading. It’s like when I look at art I kind of think of it in the sense of what it would be like to touch. It gives off the firmness but flexibility of molding clay.

That’s been sculpted into a fine shape but could bend or break under the slightest pressure. It has a firm fragility to it that I really like, it’s rather impressive! It’s difficult to make something rigid but cushiony all at once. On top of that her expression work is really good too.

Princess Mononoke Yuno and Kotoko

When she’s not drawing fanart she can be found posting about her interests and talking about her ocs. I wish I talked about my ocs more openly! Hopefully you keep it up and all your years to come are better than the last.

Waivyjellyfish

She hardly ever stings with an affable way of speaking she makes waves in any fandom. One of Es’ biggest fans! It’s Waivy- Her art is very squishy. I’d say the feel of it is very reminiscent of flan. Since it doesn’t give off a feel as hard as jello or as soft as pudding this is a nice middle ground comparison.

Harlequin (Arlekino) Es

Es art

Her lining tends to be fluid causing it to catch the eye more easily. Even sketches end up having a nice yet not overbearing weight to them. Giving off a solid but squishy to jiggly feel. Now where Waivy's abilities shine through the most is with character designs, displays of movement, and perspective.

She’s great at drawing things in a way where one is easily able to pick up the mannerisms and movements of the subject. Meaning despite being still it still manages to feel very animated and lively. Her expression work also gives a good deal of incite into the characters making them easy to read from a glance.

This shines through the most with her ocs the Dokuro Family. Outside of drawing Waivy also does 3D printing. I’m a bit curious about how that goes in general since I don’t know much about it myself. She’s a 3D printer by specialty with a bunch of other media interests.

Some that I hadn’t heard for a while such as Katekyo Hitman Reborn (one day I will finish what I start that day won’t be today sorry Tsuna), One Piece (sorry Luffy), and Zenless Zone Zero to name a few.

My friend is into Zenless Zone Zero and I had the pleasure of seeing that all their sponsored ads on tumblr had been flagged for breaking community guidelines because I don’t know tumblr is a functioning website, I guess. This has nothing to do with anything it was just weird as fuck like what did this ad do?

It was every one of them on my mobile for a bit. Like I’m not complaining it was kind of like going ad free. Still weird none the less. So, I mostly know that one due to that. We were actually talking about the four horsemen of the apocalypse because of it recently.

Waivy sometimes writes as well but it’s rare. She tends to be a pleasure in the fandom and open to requests. Just don’t expect anything immediately and follow the rules!

Lastly, I know that it’s difficult to put oneself out there when it comes to communicating likes. It can feel embarrassing and cause a good deal of unwarranted anxiety to express positivity. Especially when one is uncertain of how the other party may take it.

As someone who gets anxious about doing those sorts of things myself, I can empathize. That or maybe I’m just projecting.

I’ve realized lately that it’s very easy for some to be dragged into a sandpit of negativity. It’s so much easier to give into to being critical when something strikes a nerve than to find anything good within it. It’s an honest but short-sighted response to a stimulus but that’s what makes it so human.

Contrastingly, people tend to put a lot more thought into being kind or showing positivity. So much in fact that they may talk themselves out of doing anything at all or convince themselves they’re doing too much. Just thinking about it can feel embarrassing and spark self-doubt like should I really be saying this, is it too much etc.

So, I wanted to make it clear that this wasn’t weird at all to me, and I greatly appreciate you spending your time on writing up such nice words for me. I know that it took a lot of time for me to answer. My apologies for that. Ultimately I saw this as a good opportunity to pay it forward and to show some respect to the others that make this fandom more unique.

Even if I don't engage with others often.

I hope that wherever anyone is at right now that we're all having the best new years eve or day that we can. That we go into the new year having learned more and looking forward to the amazing things to come regardless of the struggles that may crop up along the way. There are so many things that online creations can't convey be it a piece of art, analysis or a post, I hope in 2025 people are able to recognize the existences behind the screen more than the things they make on it.

That we all start appreciating and respecting each other more regardless of how close we may or may not be.

Though I know certain people would find that hypocritical coming from me. I'm not a saint and I don't forgive everything or everyone. Though the one thing I carry in everything I do is respect for the agency of others. I do believe fully I don't have to like someone to respect that they're alive and disliking them doesn't make anyone a object of my disrespect.

That's always how I'm gonna see it.

Outside of that I hope to get to spend a lot more time with Star while talking about things I enjoy. I want to make it clear this ask really made my year in a lot of ways. I'm not trying to be holier than thou or force some air of false positivity. I really do think internet spaces can be a lot more fun when we manage our expectations of others within them and sit with our feelings for a bit before reacting.

At the same don't get used to like all this kindness- I'm going into 2025 like a mirror people are getting what they give with me. I'm not a saint I'm a petty, mean, individual who is doing their very best to choose kindness every day and when I fail to choose it I will fail to do so in an spectacularly human way.

Bottom line is I'm going to be obnoxious about Milgram next year. I am going to have as much fun with it as I possibly can as respectfully as I can. I am ready to see hell and bring hell right back. Because I'm enjoying all of this until the very end.

(Star here: Ever since Gunsli came up with this idea I've been interested in seeing how it pans out. This year has been rough but there have also been a lot of people trying to make things better than how they first came across it. Even if it's by only a bit.

Gunsli has put in so much effort and energy into milgram stuff, it's been impressive to see. She's been reaching out more and more and it's heartening to see at least some of her efforts responded to in kind. Excited is a good look for her :- 3

That being said, I'm the one hitting post, since Gunsli is going to be out for a good few hours. >:- 3c if you want to, you should surprise her with messages. Also, from me- I hope everyone's new year pans out better than this one!)

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

I have recorded different versions of my name, and the last time I was told it was Haynrix and I was like, really? Haynrix? - Interviewing Chris Tester part 3

We contiune talking about the transformative power of fanworks, a bit more about romancing Heinrix, how Heinrix is pronounced actually, what a dream come through project would be for Chris and why a stage production of Crime and Punishment was his most memorable work to date and his newly discovered interest in playing D&D.

Part 1 of the interview

Part 2 of the interview

This is the final part of the interview. Thank you so much for reading and listening! (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

F: It's very transformative. You take a game and you get your own stories after the game or with the people you interact with. It's very creative. Because Heinrix is very much an archetype, as you said, he has this duality about this very authoritative man with so much trauma underneath. There is a lot to explore, and that speaks for Olga's writing as well, because only a very well written character would draw you in like that into a story.

CT: I mean, it's a crazy balancing act, definitely. And at any time, it could close off, you shut him down, or he shuts you down. And you're like, Oh, okay.

F: And it was incredibly funny that the first romance lines straddled the line between workplace harassment and flirting. And he is so unnerved and then it doesn't like to cordon you off and say, well, you were too aggressive. Game over. 

CT: Yeah.

You can switch to this closeness path like in a real relationship, you are maybe very flirty, very teasy at the beginning, and then things get real and you get real and it changes. And that was very dynamic. I never experienced that before. BioWare writes great romances, but they are often very one note in their games.

CT: And there's still the kind of like, okay, so are we sleeping together? Yeah. Or we do not. All right. No, okay, great, fine. God, I had to go through all the different fucking options just to go like, Is this, is that, no, no, okay, fine, right, yeah. So in terms of nuance and dynamic, it's you've got your issues over there, but regardless, can I just say the right thing? Uh, or not, you know, or be pure, or whatever. Garrus was always a favourite for me.

F: Oh yeah, Garrus, Garrus is great.

CT: Yeah, yeah. I'll be honest I didn't really appreciate quite how subtly all of the pieces are put together until I played through bits of the game and watched bits of the game afterwards [this relates to Rogue Trader]. Because there are so many different moving parts, but also so much is recorded out of order, it's very difficult to get a full appreciation of the whole, and it's the credit of the directors to just be able to give you enough for you to get it in two or three takes, because we gotta move on because time is money is time. 

And so that's kind of crazy, where you've got to just act in faith in the moment and trust that the people who are listening on the other end feel as if they're getting what they need. Obviously the more you record, the more you get a sense of what the character is about and the palette and the playfulness and all of those kinds of things. But because there are such a multitude of choices anyway, no one can explain to you exactly the context of what it is because that's all such a movable feast as it is anyway.

F: That's a huge credit to voice actors to still get it right in three or four takes.

CT: Well, the aim is to give them options so that they can trial it out and be able to have a playfulness about things. It's always nice when you go like, I'm just going to try this different take on how this might traditionally be read as or something, and then you maybe hear that in the game and go like: Oh, okay, that's a little bit of whatever. 

Because quite often you'll probably be told to read a line no more than three times, and the first time that you read a line, that you read it out loud is the first time that you read the line at all. So, you don't read it in advance, and sometimes that goes in. It's normally the second or third take, I would say, but that depends very much on the voice actor. Because quite often, the whole point is to be quite good at sight reading, and sometimes there's a spontaneity in the reading of something for the very first time, which might give something a little bit unexpected, or a little bit fresher. 

And then you realise halfway through, there's a word I have no idea how to pronounce. Is it von Valancius? Von Valancius as it's written or von Valen and you're just like, the hell? Okay. And then you need to go back.

F: Or his name actually, because as a German, we have Heinrich as a first name. So is it Haynrix? Is this Hainrix? But we can say it's Low Gothic, so it doesn't matter.

CT: I have recorded different versions of my name, and the last time I was told it was Haynrix and I was like, really? Haynrix? Okay. Sure? But I've not had a definitive conversation about that, so I don’t know whether or not they change it or, or whatever.

F: I settled on, it's Low Gothic and not the German version and it's fine because that's a fantasy language. It doesn't matter. And I know from other voice actors that sometimes you don't get any directions on how something is pronounced.

CT: Quite often we're just taking an educated guess. I mean, they're very good in terms of some pronunciations, but if no other character is saying this word except you, then there's probably not a guide for it in which case you just make sure that you record it somewhere. So, it's consistent. So, if you're saying it more than once, at least you're saying it wrong consistently. So that becomes the new, right?

F: What was your most memorable work to date? Stage or voice acting?

CT: Stage or voice acting or whatever? God, I would say one was a production of Crime and Punishment. There you go. It was a three-person adaptation of the massive book really condensed into about 90 minutes, essentially. Quite a radical adaptation, but it was a beautifully written adaptation, and I think I did it probably about 2017, 2018. That was wonderful storytelling because it had so much of the original flavour in it and also this ambiguity of character. A much more ambiguous character than someone like Heinrix. Someone who is so eminently fallible and flawed, and yet trying to find a through line through it and a making of sense and the justification for the reasons why people do bad things. That is pretty iconic for me as an experience. 

I do feel lucky that a lot of the things that I'm able to explore in the video game or in the voiceover world generally are completely new and unexpected things. Whereas on stage, unless you're doing a lot of new writing, the vast majority of the time, it's a role that you're familiar with or have seen or have heard about. It's pre-existing. Whereas with some of these video games, you get to create that whole original world or character and that kind of stuff. Which is why if anybody asks me, what role do you want to play? I'm like, the role that I don't know exists yet, and Heinrix is very much one of those. Like, I had no idea and neither did I have any idea that it would develop in the way that it did. 

But the whole process itself is a lot of fun and you work with very cool people to tell a completely new and original story. But having that ambiguity, having that tension within the character, every actor has to find that for themselves anyway, just to keep creatively engaged and alive, but have that so vividly running as an undercurrent and for it to be able to go in different ways, that's such a cool kind of thing. I'm just so up for more of those kinds of opportunities. Maybe hopefully in the future, we'll see.

F: Has voicing Heinrix opened any doors? Did you notice an uptake in offers?

CT: I think it means that a few more people probably know who I am, and that's cool. A few more people. Yeah, it's definitely been referred to. Other than that, I don't know. But it certainly doesn't hurt being involved in such a high profile and well respected, well-loved game. I mean, for me as well, because I've done various different aspects of stuff in that world. That doesn't hurt. 

I love the whole Warhammer 40k universe, at the same time I don't want to just be like, I'm a 40k actor and that's all I do because that world also probably doesn't need just another white middle-class man in it, even if that is like 70 percent of the world. Like you say, they're trying to broaden it out and diversify it and necessarily if it wants to get to a bigger audience and have a healthier ecology on so many different kinds of levels. So, I don't want to go all in on just that, even if it's a very rich world. So, it was a real pleasure. 

F: Would you want to broaden your repertoire into radio plays, because I know on your LinkedIn, you write, you're the voice when Cumberbatch is busy and listening to you, there are undertones of Benedict Cumberbatch in your voice, and Benedict before he became really popular, he did something like Cabin Pressure, which is so fun.

CT: Yeah.

F: Would you be open to doing radio plays like that?

CT: Definitely. I've just recently come from a voiceover conference in the UK and did a couple of workshops and that reminded me of what the work is that I want to actively seek out. And there's a lot of audio drama stuff floating about, a lot of that is available via social media or is operated in the U.S. as opposed to in the UK., though there are some great ones in the UK. as well, and it's tricky to know why and how to validate some of those things. So, it's something that I would love to explore doing more of as well as, you know, you can do these audio drama things, which are kind of like shorter versions of audio books, almost essentially with not so many voices. And I think those medium and short form ways of storytelling would be lovely. It would be great because I'm not right for a lot of video games. 

I don't think I'll ever be actually a very prolific video game actor if that makes sense because I'm okay at shouting and I can play some monsters and I've got a couple of accents in the bag and that kind of thing in terms of doing voices. People will say it's about the acting Chris, it's not about voices, but doing some voices and being able to nail certain things there are people that are brilliant at that. But there are people who have probably a wider palette of voices than I will ever have. 

I never started out as a voice actor. I'm very much an actor who uses the voice, and I'm trying to broaden that out a little bit more as I keep on going. But I want to open myself up to more different types of stuff to be creatively fulfilled. The prospect of going into a recording session and screaming “grenade” and “bang” is not very fulfilling. I did that for a few games, and then I'm done with that. Like the money's not good enough for me to do that. I mean, never say never. If the money does become good enough, then we can talk. But you push your voice and it's a different kind of acting, I'll put it that way.

F: So, last question. What would be a dream come true project for you?

CT: A dream come true project? Probably something entirely original that I can't imagine. I would love to be able to work on an audio project where I'm working with other actors in real time. I would love to be able to work with most of the cast in Rogue Trader, for example, but I’d love it for us to be able to have dialogues where you're actually responding to each other as opposed to insert A, B or C here, that kind of thing. Because that's the one thing I kind of miss so much from the audio side of work is you getting something unexpected from the other person and then riffing off it. You have to self-generate as a voice actor that a director will go do you want to try it like this? Or maybe like this, it's supposed to be funny. Try it dead pan, that kind of thing.

But quite often that kind of spontaneous element of discovery only comes from when someone gives you a line in a way that you really didn't expect, and maybe it makes you laugh, when it's supposed to be tragic or whatever, those kinds of things. The biggest thing I miss about stage work is when you're working with an actor at the top of your game and they raise you up to their level. It's terrifying, but in the best way. Some actors can do that effortlessly because they're so in the moment, because they don't know what they're going to do next, even though they can find their light and make sure that the audience is still seeing their brilliant acting at the same time. Clever, clever bunnies. That feeling because they don't know exactly where they're going, you're kind alive to the moment in a way that quite often you're not, and if there was a way to be able to replicate that in an audio way and a long form storytelling way, then that would be cool. 

I've just started playing a little bit of D&D and I don't know if I'll ever get good at that, especially in terms of like, so I've got to come up with words. Oh my God. Whereas I will never watch a D&D playthrough for four hours on YouTube myself, personally, life choice, I can start to understand the appeal of that because there's an element of that spontaneity and playfulness, but in a group. So, if there was a way to do that with actually scripted drama, I'd be all in on that. That would be amazing. Or some kind of hybrid. So I don't know exactly what that is, but that kind of thing would be quite cool. 

F: That's what the BBC did with Cabin Pressure. I attended one live recording and it was just amazing. You have all the other actors [apart from Benedict Cumberbatch] that are household names. And to see them act and how little takes they actually need for the lines and everything is amazing.

CT: Yeah, there's an appreciation of the craft, but it's also the fact that it's not into a void. It's not like, okay, we've done three. Is that okay? We're onto the next. I think in many ways it can make the work much easier, because you're using your imagination, but in a different way, because you're operating with a stimulus. And that's always exciting.

F: And good D&D is just like improv theatre.

CT: Yeah, exactly.

F: Really good players are spontaneous. Just very creative.

CT: That should be celebrated and I think harnessing more of those kinds of things would be fun, because in all honesty, still probably about 60, 70 percent of the work that I do is in the corporate and business sphere. That's just because of how I sound. I didn't go out to court that work particularly, but in terms of the stuff that pays the bills regularly, that's the kind of stuff that I do. Even then, you're trying to find levels of playfulness or colour so that you're not just coming over with: “in a world where you can trust a big corporation to take your money.” So, there's any kind of nuance or subtlety to that, that will be a good thing. So that's the kind of stuff that I crave as a result.

F: Thank you for your time.

CT: Oh, my pleasure.

F: It went by so fast. We went over time; I still have a lot more questions.

CT: Oh, sorry.

F: No, no, no, no, no, no. That, that's, that's absolutely fine. Thank you.

[genericpuff]

The Extended Mishandling of LO's S3 Midseason Finale Premiere (Pt 2)

Alrighty, I promised a part two back in the first part of this analysis, but found myself busy with Rekindled and my day job, so I'm finally sitting down and finishing this up. If you haven't read that first part yet, please go check it out!

CAUTION: THERE BE FASTPASS SPOILERS AHEAD!

We left off with Hebe and Apollo roleplaying that one scene from The Lion King, albeit with a lot less sense or nuance. Literally all the "drama" so far feels purely manufactured for cheap plot progression and tension and it hardly feels authentic. But now we gotta talk about the second half of this episode, where we finally address the cliffhanger that the FP midseason finale episode left off on - Persephone causing winter.

And what better way to kick it off than with a completely off-base Persephone monologue?

Now, what's shown here is actually a flashback to the job interview scene from S1, when Persephone asked to see the snow in the Underworld. But it's written as if Persephone has some intimate relationship with snow as a whole, as if she's experienced more than this one time which... she hasn't. There was nothing "romantic" really about that scene following the job interview, she literally just wanted to go out and see something she hadn't seen before.

But that calls into question - why does Persephone constantly act like she has an intimate relationship with snow when it doesn't occur in the Mortal Realm? She even says in the honeymoon episode that it's hot all the time in the Mortal Realm, and the temperature only drops every now and then during rainy days... and she somehow makes this about Hades when it literally has nothing to do with him lmao Persephone monologues are some of the worst /r/im14andthisisdeep moments in the series because she's constantly using word salad to describe feelings we never saw or scenes that never happened.

And this scene is no different. She says that snow is something that's interwoven with her most 'treasured moments' but all the visuals have to show for is that one scene from S1 that, again, didn't even come across as a 'treasured moment', it was just her seeing the snow for the first time, there was nothing 'romantic' about it in a vacuum. All the moments from the series you could call ACTUALLY TREASURED milestones of Hades and Persephone's relationship - and Persephone's supposed "love" for the Underworld - are scenes where snow was completely absent (ex. the scene of Persephone and Hades talking about Sicily in Zeus and Hera's garden, Persephone and Hades spending the night in the cabin during the trial arc, etc.)

But then, to make it even more confusing, she goes on to describe her losing her powers and causing winter a "betrayal". As if the concept of winter owes her anything. As if Erebus owes her anything.

The allusion to Erebus itself in the visuals implies that she feels "betrayed" over this happening, as if it wasn't made ABUNDANTLY CLEAR TO HER that she would have to sacrifice something. She's gone SO LONG without knowing or caring about what she could have possibly given up, that by the time it finally revealed itself, she's acting all shocked Pikachu because there's finally something she can't just have. Everything that could make her seem imperfect has been washed away, from her SA trauma to those pesky green hands. Now we finally ARE seeing her affected by her own choices and she's basically waxing poetic about how sad it is that her actions have consequences.

That said, she does seem to have a moment of self-awareness here... but I can't be confident it will actually amount to anything seeing as how all the past attempts at 'growth' have been overshadowed by her vanity and ego.

This line is really confusing / weird in the way that it's written but I think she's trying to say that the source of the cold is from her, she can't pin it on any sort of 'big bad' like she could with Apollo and Kronos. It's just her.

And again, this could be a moment of realization for her that her actions are her own regardless of whatever she wants to pin it on-

But she rejects it instead. She's still not capable of acknowledging that her choices affect others, that her actions have consequences, that she's finally paying the price for something she knew had a cost.

If this were any other comic, I would accept her rejection of this, I would have confidence in knowing she may recognize it eventually. But this is LO and we're three seasons in, she's technically already gotten her happily ever after in the form of becoming Queen and married to her 'true love', so all of this feels like a very last-minute attempt to paint Persephone as this "struggling" character. But she's not "struggling", she's just finally experiencing karma catching up to her and as expected for a person like Persephone, she's already cracking under the pressure of realization that she can't have everything she wants.

Again, in any other comic, this would feel satisfying or endearing to see her fall on her own sword, but to me it just feels frustrating in the context of LO because we've spent five years seeing her get everything she wants with barely any real struggle that wasn't manufactured - with all of it painted as a GOOD THING - while still getting away with treating the people around her like shit.

And when I say she rejects this concept of having humility, I don't just mean through her monologuing, but also through her actions.

If I were to critique LO the same way I would an actual functional series, I would say that this should be the point of realization, the point where we see her crumble under the weight of her not being perfect, not being able to "fix" everything. It all stems back to her entitlement as a bratty main character, someone who can't fathom not being the main character or the "hero".

Because she's not the hero. Demeter is - or at least, she tries to be.

Again, it's hard to know if this is intentional or if this is yet another attempt to present Demeter as an "overbearing mom", but Persephone here looks and sounds like she's been reduced back to the state of a child crying for her mother in the face of her own failures. Despite now technically being a mother herself (through literal babynapping sigh) Persephone is still not a mature adult. Aging her up 10 years and giving her a husband and baby will not make her an actual functional independent adult who's capable of taking care of themselves or making the right decisions... unlike Demeter who is still, ultimately, more skilled than Persephone. She is an actual experienced and mature adult who's capable of rationalizing and decision making, and knowing when it's time to put aside your ego, walk away and let someone else who's far more qualified take care of things.

What Demeter has is something that one can only gain through true hardship, failing, learning from one's own mistakes, and experience, all of which Persephone does not have because she transitioned from a cage of her own imagination where hard work and responsibility was a virtue, into a gilded cage where true hard work can be passed onto someone else whose efforts she could take credit for while sitting on a throne and buying anything and everything she could ever want.

Despite everything Persephone and the narrative claims to have 'earned', she's still a child. The adults have to take over.

And like a child, she doesn't let them.

This is not an 'anime moment'. This is not a moment of redemption. This is immaturity and irresponsibility in its most visible form for Persephone - refusing to let go of her ego and shortcomings to "prove herself", even if it means making things worse.

And Hades enables it.

I want to make it clear there is a massive difference between not being controlling over someone, and actually enabling them.

This is not some small hill to die on. Persephone is literally causing winter, which could very well kill the Mortals. As we've seen in that prior Hebe scene from the first part of this essay, the snow is showing up in Olympus. This isn't something that's happening in the isolation of this single scene, this is happening everywhere and instead of taking the L, Persephone is trying to make things 'better' by simply 'trying harder' which is just not the solution here, Demeter knows this, but Hades is playing the "girlboss" version of a "good husband" by not even bothering to try and convince her to do otherwise. Hades above everyone else should be the one stepping in because he'd likely be the only one she'd actually listen to, but he's refusing to because he has to be the "good husband" who doesn't control the actions of his wife.

So he flat out enables her instead by not even bothering to try and reason with her, to help her see that what she's doing is not helping. Not even so much as a "Persephone, I know you want to help but it's clear something is wrong and if Demeter can figure out what to do to fix this, we should let her", just him saying to Demeter who wants to stop her that he can't stop her from trying... ignoring the fact that he should at least try.

And that's the difference between being controlling and being an enabler. He's not keeping her from doing something that benefits her and doesn't harm him or others. He's not micromanaging her decisions or trying to tell her she's not capable. Now, don't get me wrong, there are definitely things that make Hades a walking red flag especially when it comes to him being a groomer, but when it comes to directly controlling Persephone, most of the time she's doing things of her own accord convinced that it's "the right thing" (which is still just a side effect of the obvious grooming because I really doubt S1 Persephone would have done this shit lmao).

Here, he's not stepping in to even try to reason with her because "well I'd be a bad husband if I stepped in", completely ignoring the fact that it makes him a terrible person, period, to not at least try to calmly reason with his wife and explain to her that her 'help' is not going to help here. Just like when he rewarded her with sex for abusing a nymph in her own home, he's completely complacent to Persephone's actions and doesn't step in to try and help because, according to Wattpad and TikTok, a "good husband" is someone who looks the other way while his life partner does whatever she wants regardless of the consequences to herself and others. "Happy wife, happy life, who cares if the wife wants to be an actual piece of shit to people if it makes her happy".

And thus she makes things worse in her pursuit of "happiness", while Hades stands idly by, watching it all unfold as if he's just an innocent bystander who can absolve himself of any responsibility in this situation. As if she didn't become this way because she ate the pomegranate to be with him and a part of his world.

Now, there's one other sort-of-blatant smoking gun that I want to talk about that I haven't really seen anyone else mention since this episode went up. Granted, this might be me reading far too much into it, but hey, that's what this blog is for and I think it's something that absolutely needs to be mentioned.

Persephone goes on about how her powers aren't just gone, they've been replaced, all she can create is decay, and more specifically-

Now... think of the context of LO's narrative, what it's told us both literally and through subtext, intentional or not.

What does this sound like?

Hades lost his ability to produce children when he ate the pomegranate. He can no longer "create life".

And now, Persephone is finding herself in a similar situation, unable to "create life" the way she knows how. I'd like to think this isn't literal, but it really feels like there's a metaphorical implication here that Persephone losing her ability to create life is meant to be taken literally, that she not only can't create flowers and plant life anymore, but she's lost her fertility entirely. You can go even further back in this when it was established Persephone didn't eat six seeds, but nine, which originally felt like a weirdly random choice, but now seems intentional. I know some people have theorized that it has to do with her possibly being pregnant, but I don't think that's the case, I think it's the opposite - that the 9 months was a metaphor for the 9 months of childbearing that Persephone can no longer do.

And if that's the case... LO truly is no longer a "feminist" piece of work. It barely was before, but if the point of all this winds up being an attempt by Rachel to give Persephone a "flaw" by taking away her ability to bear children... that'll be a punch to the gut.

That said, if it does go somewhere, maybe the point will be Persephone learning she doesn't need to be able to reproduce to have value as a woman. But considering LO's track record with these sorts of plotlines, I can't be confident in the slightest that's where it'll end up. What I can be confident in is that Persephone will likely not stay this way. Like her green hands, she'll likely get her powers back, maybe after the resolution that she's still a real woman deserving of love even if she can't reproduce. I can't possibly know at this point where it's going, all I do know is that LO hasn't done a great job at resolving these sorts of deeper narratives so this just feels like another dart on the wall of bad ideas. Because it's, again, all being framed through Persephone being the "perfect woman", without there being any actual subtext throughout the narrative to imply that this may be a flawed ideology to have, it's just what Persephone has to be and it's sold in the narrative as a positive.

There's one term to describe this with that's rather consistent throughout LO when you peel back the layers of both the comic and Rachel's past work - white feminism. Despite LO's attempts to be "feminist", it's still ultimately being written through a heteronormative male gaze, that women are only "valuable" so long as they're youthful, that any goals or dreams a woman may have should be dropped as soon as they fall in love with a rich and powerful man, and that "other women" who don't fit into that mould of being rich, white, and heterocis are not worthy of love, empathy, or understanding. It's hard to trust that LO will actually challenge these norms when it's been practically enforcing them for five years.

But ultimately, that's a very loaded topic and right now, we don't know where this is going... I'm just not so sure I want to see it after all the missteps the series has pulled over the past half a decade. Like the miracle of childbirth, it's gonna take a miracle for LO to actually stick this landing.

Now, I'm assuming you read this line of dialogue, and you understood it. Yes? You positive? Okay, great. Why am I asking you this question as if you're an infant who doesn't understand what being "passed out" means? Well, you'll see what I mean in a minute.

Now, again, like with the whole "I can't bring life to anything anymore" thought process I just went through, I can't know exactly what they're trying to do here, but Demeter is fully in the right. I want to make that abundantly clear that Demeter was right the whole time and it's pretty telling that even a lot of the people reading the comic in good faith are pointing this out in the discussion circles they can actually access.

Now, in case anyone hasn't noticed, it's clear that Demeter herself is drawing upon the fertility magic of Gaia or Rachel is just alluding to Gaia for some reason. At first I thought it was supposed to be her form of "wrath" until I remembered that (unfortunately) Eris was the only reason for Persephone's wrath, so this is clearly meant to be some allusion to Gaia. Considering the fertility powers were passed down purely through Gaia and Ouranos, this means Demeter is a descendant of Gaia, which... calls into question Rachel's attempts to "remove the incest" from LO, but that's for another topic.

Either way, Demeter is fully in the right here. Hades is a fucking idiot - a useless lump - for not only enabling the shitty actions of his shitty wife, but for not taking even any amount of accountability for the fact that Persephone found out about the pomegranate through him.

"But Puff, she had to eat the pomegranate to beat Kronos!" Did she? Or was that purely manufactured for Rachel's sake because she just had to have an MCU Evil-Robot-Jeff-Bridges villain despite the fact that this FANTASY ROMANCE series didn't need one? The fact that it was written purely to 'force' Persephone into doing something she already wanted to do was completely redundant, it wasn't a 'sacrifice' she made, it was made pretty clear in Episode 165 that she wanted to eat the pomegranate as soon as she found out about it and while that decision is certainly her own, that does not absolve Hades of responsibility for not questioning his future wife's fascination with it or realizing that he unlocked the inner Pandora's Box of Persephone's mind.

And so, Demeter holds him responsible. As she should.

Okay, you read that, right? But remember that line I asked you about before? We should all know Demeter doesn't mean this literally. We have brains and we should all have a minimum amount of media literacy to understand that Hades was telling the truth when he literally said Persephone was "passed out".

We finish the episode on this panel, which I swear to christ I couldn't tell you in all of my own divine wisdom of the arts what in the world is going on in this panel. I'm literally looking at salad.

Is it Demeter and Persephone? Just some dying plants? I have no fucking clue, your guess is as good as mine.

But we're not done. Because we have one more glaring issue to talk about with this episode, and it comes in the form of an author's note that was inserted at the end of the episode. It is truly, despite EVERYTHING we've talked about in both parts of this analysis, the dumbest, most airheaded and egregiously pretentious thing I've seen in this entire episode.

Rachel quite literally put in a fucking disclaimer telling her audience what Hades already told us point blank in the comic - "Don't worry, audience members, Persephone is not literally dead, it's a metaphor for her spring powers being dead!"

I literally can't even express to you how pretentious and shitty this is of her to do. I can't tell if it's legitimately her thinking her writing is "too smart" for even her older audience members to grasp, or if she just wants to dispel the theories that people would want to make about this, or if she completely misconstrued the criticism about her writing not being "clear enough" and thinks that THIS is what people meant. Pardon my tone because I've kept it together relatively well throughout this post, but this is some 2009-era Fanfiction.net level of author's note bullshit.

If she thinks her writing is "too smart" for her audience to grasp, I'm sorry Rachel, but you're just wrong and this is incredibly shitty of you. You think the 14 year olds in your community aren't also reading other webtoons that have deeper writing than LO? I read Death Note when I was fucking 14 and I knew exactly the point of what the story was getting at by the time it was over, despite all the other stories I read at that age that completely flew over my head. And you think LO is somehow more complicated than Death Note, baby's first introduction to the grey areas of morality and justice?

If she's trying to dispel the theories... that actually holds some merit because not only is Rachel notoriously bad at not letting her fandom just talk about their theories without her swooping in to "um actually" them (even if it means killing the fun of theorizing), but the official FP page on FB was closed to new submissions in the hours following this episode and it since hasn't posted any new content. Is it because people aren't posting? Absolutely not. The mods are quite literally holding these posts hostage through the submission and approval system. People are legitimately trying to submit only for the mods to block it entirely from going through. If this is Rachel's attempts at trying to "protect herself" from the criticism this episode has surely earned, then all she's really doing is punishing her own fans who want to talk about it. It doesn't matter anymore that the discussion groups are finally back from 3-4 months of being shut down over the hiatus, they're still not being allowed to operate. The best there is now is the Discord and it's undoubtedly just as heavy moderated as the FB groups.

And as for the third possibility, this also feels like an attempt at Rachel trying to make her writing "more clear" without actually putting in the work of writing a good story. She's undoubtedly seen the criticisms towards LO as a whole that it doesn't express itself clearly, that it constantly flip flops on character motivations and information that has been established, and that any monologuing that's done implies things or events that we've never seen unfold on screen (case in point, the Persephone monologue from the start of this episode) but she seems to have either misconstrued or ignored the point of that criticism entirely by solving it with a quick and shitty author's note at the end explaining her intentions with a scene that was already clearly laid out to us. Instead of putting in the work to write a concise story to explain the things that are a bit more under-developed, she's slapping in a spoonfed explanation for scenes that literally don't need explaining and that ultimately cheapens the scenes that are TRYING to have impact, bringing them down to the same level of mediocrity as the scenes that never had the impact they intended to have to begin with. "You've killed the Goddess of Spring" was plenty clear after Hades said she was passed out, Rachel. Taking the time to explain it in a note at the end is just sad and it really goes to show what you think of your audience, especially when it comes to how you treat your fans in regards to community accessibility in the official discussion groups.

"The haters" didn't set this comic onto the path that it's on or ruin the fanbase experience, Rachel - you did.