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gladiatortale · 4 years ago

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My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS!

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019 The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments:

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No. Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020 Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It’s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019 -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019 -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully,

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in.

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain.

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING!

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

#2020 #mental health #appreciation post #figure skating #studio ghibli #coco #attack on titan #great pretender #bungou stray dogs #trash taste #versailles tv #yuri!!! on ice #the arcana game #hazbin hotel #anime #fandom

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nightwingmyboi · 5 years ago

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Pt 1) I'm ngl, if this Ric Grayson arc ends with Dick finally going off on the rest of the batfam for only showing him affection when they need something, it will almost be worth it. You mentioned in the meta about his relationship with the batfam that to recover from the gunshot he cut every one off (ngl, I stopped reading as soon as his memories were wiped), and I think that means now is the perfect time (or when his memories finally return fully next issue) for him to blow up

Pt 2) I want him to go off on Bruce for never seeming satisfied with what he does. I want him to go off on Tim for running away when everything was going to shit while Bruce was stuck in time (there's evidence that he remembers pre reboot stuff with that one panel that has torque and tarantula and him proposing to Babs so I'm going to say that's all still canon). I want him to lose his shit with Babs for constantly being mad at him when he's trying so hard (I love Babs, but this is annoying)

Pt 3) when he gets his memories back I want him to finally blow up. Like??? His life has been in a constant state of falling apart since he became Nightwing (hell, even before that), but he still always put others first. And now Roy is dead, Donna is evil, Wally is who knows where after killing Roy, Jason and Bruce are back on the outs, etc, etc and people were saying they need him back to fix things when he's recovering from being shot in the head. If they let him point this out, the Ric arc

Pt 4) will have been validated in my eyes. Still fucking terrible writing wise, execution (I was excited for Talon! Dick but christ what I read of it was bad), one of the worst decisions they've made recently, and they've made a bunch of bad ones, but it will be validated in its existence to me.

Yeah, Dick takes a lot of crap from the members of his family; a lot of the things you listed are things that I am very much not a fan of, lmao. And I’d even add that, with the Ric stuff you mention, it wasn’t even that Dick “cut everyone off” so that he could recover; I should have made this clearer--Bruce and the rest of the family should take a lot of the blame for pushing Dick away. See, initially, Dick was open to the idea of getting to know his family. He visited the manor and then Bruce, impatient with the lack of progress Dick was making on regaining his memories, decided to take Dick down to the Batcave, show him the Nightwing suit (that still had the freaking blood from the gunshot wound on it Jesus Christ), and traumatize Dick with the video of him getting shot in the head in order to stir up some memories. Alfred and Damian help Bruce do this:

Nightwing: Rebirth Annual #2

And Dick is obviously horrified. After this, why in the world would Dick want to be Nightwing? Why would he want to associate with his “family”? Staying away from the manor wasn’t Dick cutting out people in his life who cared for him and were trying to help him; it was about, in Dick’s mind, staying away from people who were willing to hurt him, people who cared more about his utility and how they needed him to be Nightwing then they cared about his safety and wellbeing. It was a desperate move to protect himself from people he could no longer trust. It is clear that implanted false memories and other brainwashing was done from the very beginning (by the doctor Bruce specifically hired no less) in order to ensure that “Ric” would not be comfortable with Bruce and would be inclined to leave, but it was Bruce’s actions that had Dick running literally right into his brainwasher’s arms:

It’s also not even like afterwards Dick hid himself in some unknown location, completely out of contact. Barbara easily tracked Dick down to talk. And yet, when Barbara talks to him, she doesn’t ask Dick if he’s alright. She just tells him that they want him to regain his memories (umm...yeah you’ve made that clear), comments that he’s not acting like himself, and tells him to come back to the manor. So...it’s all about what the family wants. Dick says no, and there are zero attempts at a compromise. Maybe the family could have used the millions of dollars at its disposal to set Dick up elsewhere outside the manor so he doesn’t have to, uh, live in a cab? Maybe they could agree to occasional check-ins instead of the overbearing babysitting they were suggesting, that Dick is uncomfortable with? Maybe they could ask Dick what he wants? But, no. As soon as Dick doesn’t do exactly what they want him to, he’s on his own. People talk about how this arc is making Dick look bad, but beyond that, really it's making all of the family look like uncaring, selfish assholes.

That aside, about how I want this arc to conclude...it would be nice, as readers, to see Dick finally put his foot down and stand up for himself a little. But honestly? Him going off on everyone like you describe? I feel like that would be out of character. I could maybe see Dick telling off Batman, but I can’t even imagine Dick truly blowing up at Damian or Tim, or really even Barbara. People really over exaggerate Dick’s temper a lot; in reality, it usually takes very extreme circumstances, and often an insane amount of stress and/or brainwashing to make Dick lash out. Bruce is one of the few people that can make Dick lose his temper, so maybe. But I also think that when Dick is truly upset and emotionally compromised, his first move is to go somewhere to be alone. He doesn’t tend to lash out; he tends to retreat and isolate himself if he’s able. You’ll often see him hole himself in his apartment when everything becomes too much. Two good examples of this are in Joker’s Last Laugh and in the Outsiders. After Dick kills the Joker, he immediately retreats to his apartment to be alone, and likewise after Donna dies, he spends months isolated from his friends in Bludhaven:

Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files

And not only all that, but I really don’t think Dick yelling at everyone would be cathartic for him. If he did something like that, he’d feel terrible and guilty about it. He’d apologize. And I really don’t want him to have to apologize for anything in the aftermath of all this horrible stuff he’s been through. I don’t want any of the responsibility for making things right to be put on his shoulders. Though he’ll probably feel the need to try to fix things anyway, I’d actually prefer him to just...stay away from the family. Not avoid them, but let them be the ones to reach out to him for a change. Especially recently, Dick has had to do all the emotional work in his relationships; it would be so gratifying to have his friends and family put the work in on their own and be the ones to initiate so Dick doesn’t have to do all the heavy lifting.

And hey, I’d love even more for one of the numerous friends he used to have to step in and stand up for him instead, so he doesn’t have to. If the rest of the Titans were not currently being put through depressing arcs themselves (or being dead, RIP Roy), I think they definitely would’ve knocked some heads together. I think the only possible solution...is Uncle Clark coming to the rescue! Surely if Superman knew what was going on, he’d come down to the cave and give a good old fashioned tongue lashing to Batman for his pseudo-nephew’s sake! I’m not caught up with the Superman comics so idk what he’s up to rn, but please tell me this can happen and if not let me dream.

Thanks for the ask! I feel your pain, was pretty disappointed with Talon Dick. I really want to just reach into the comics and wrap Dick up in a blanket or something, give him rest!

#ask #dick grayson #ric grayson #nightwing #batman #bruce wayne #barbara gordon #damian wayne #negative #character analysis #meta

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harley-sunday · 4 years ago

Text

The Draw [16]

Summary: The whirlwind starts at the 2018 ACE Comic Con in Phoenix but you’re not sure where it will end…

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x reader (unnamed OFC)

Warnings: Language.

Word count: 5k

AN: I just can’t seem to quit this story - I keep adding parts... But. BUT. We are closer to end. There’s not much more I can say without giving anything away, except that this chapter seems to consist of mostly phone calls... 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hope you like it, please let me know what you think - I’d love to read your thoughts :) ♥

Masterlist

“I don’t know, Brad,” you try your hardest not to sound as frustrated as you feel, “last week you told me that you understood the process, so I don’t really get why we are missing all this inventory right now.” You rub your temples, trying to get rid of the headache that started when you got to the office this morning, quietly cursing the jetlag that has been bothering you ever since you got back from Greece on Saturday, although you know Brad’s fuck-up also has something to do with it. Inventory is not that difficult.

Brad, who’s been interning at the San Francisco office for a grand total of three weeks and yet somehow thinks he’s God’s gift to this company, just shrugs, “I’m sorry?”

You just stare at him and shake your head, “No. Go over it one more time, ok? I’m keeping these here,” you tap the stack of papers on your desk, “so really start at zero again and report back to me tomorrow morning.” You watch him roll his eyes before he nods and turns around to leave. “Brad?” You no longer try to hide the annoyance in your voice, “Close the door on your way out, will you?”

When he does you let out a frustrated groan and lean back in your chair, quietly shaking your head and wondering if you were ever this cocky when you first started working here. Probably not, Deb would have never allowed it. As if on cue your phone rings and when you see who’s calling you answer with a smile, “Hi, Deb.”

“How you holding up, kid?”

“Just told an intern to start over on inventory,” you offer, “so I’m sure he’s telling the other interns what a bitch I am right about now.”

You hear Deb chuckle, “Good for you.” There are some muffled sounds on the other end of the line then and you can just imagine her getting up and walking to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee because the woman seems to run on double espressos and cigarettes. “Listen, I want to run something by you.”

Weird. This is weird. Usually she just informs you after whatever it is she has decided, but her wanting to 'run something by you' tells you she actually wants your opinion. You sit up in your chair, curious to hear what she has to say, “Sure.”

“Technically I’ve found someone to take over the San Francisco office from you,” she says, “and on short notice too, because I know you’ve already been out there longer than you’d like.”

“Ok,” you draw out, not sure where she’s going with this.

You hear her sigh and then she mutters something about biting the bullet before she says, “It’s Mark.”

“Oh.” Your heart drops and your throat goes dry, the lump that suddenly has appeared hard to swallow. There’s a million things running through your head all at the same time, some good, most of them bad, and an involuntary shiver runs down your spine. You don’t really know what else to say and so you stay quiet, waiting for Deb to give you something more to go on.

“I know,” her voice is unusually kind, reserved only for the really shitty situations and it tells you she hates this as much as you do. She clears her throat then, “I’ll be honest with you, kid, I contacted him. I know he wasn’t happy when I shipped him off to the London office after you-” she hesitates and clears her throat again, “After what happened. Thing is, he has done some great work there, out of all our overseas offices, this one’s giving us the best turnover.”

You only half-listen to her listing off why this is a good idea, your mind drifting to when you first met Mark. There was talk of a new guy coming in to maybe take over from Deb in a few years, supposedly the best in the business although some called him an asshole who would stop at nothing to get to the top and so by default you had decided you probably wouldn't like him, but then all of a sudden there he was, all six foot two of him, full of ambition and good looks and sweeping you off your feet almost instantly. You told yourself, and him, you didn’t do office romance, that you would never date a colleague, but all it took was one night of overtime and some celebratory drinks after to make you forget your so-called rule.

And the first six months were good, really good. Or at least that’s what you thought. In the end there were warning signs all along, but you just choose to ignore them. And even now you’re not sure what triggered him but something changed after those six months and Mark became manipulative, obsessive, and abusive, and at first you told yourself it was just stress from work, even though deep down you knew better. Still, you always believed you’d be the one to make him change his ways, if only you did what he wanted. Problem was, you were never sure what that was.

He’d want you to wear a tight dress and high heels one day, and the next he would tell you you looked like a whore and what were you thinking leaving the house looking like that? It took you too long to understand you could never make him happy, no matter what you did, and that he would always find things to obsess over. When you finally realized your relationship had turned toxic it still took you another two years to quit him, and that was only after you learned he’d cheated on you with a girl from accounting. When Deb found out what Mark did she immediately took your side and made it look like his sudden move to the London office had been planned all along even though you know she had to pull quite a few strings.

She still doesn’t know about the verbal abuse and the threats and the mind games, you realize then. Maybe if she did she wouldn’t have offered him to come back.

“You still there?” Her voice interrupts your thoughts.

“Yeah.”

She sighs and you can just imagine her pinching the bridge of her nose, “Thing is, with the experience he has, you’d only need a day, two at most, to bring him up to speed.” She hesitates, “If we bring in someone new-”

“It’ll take at least four weeks,” you offer with a nod even though she can’t see you.

“Yes.”

“Yes,” you echo. You roll your lip between your teeth, trying to decide whether or not you should tell her the full story. Would it matter? And if it did, would it mean you’d be stuck out here longer?

“Listen, take the day to think about it,” she offers then, “get back to me tomorrow and let me know, ok?”

“Ok.”

“Alright.”

Before you get a chance to say goodbye she has disconnected the call and so you’re left with your own thoughts. Tapping your phone against your chin you’re trying to decide what to do, but it seems like too big of a decision to make on your own. You pull up your texting app and send Lauren a quick message:

You free tonight?

Her reply comes not much later and surprises you:

Sorry, can’t tonight. Going on a date :)

You type a reply almost immediately:

?? Why didn’t you tell me? But also, YASSS! Go get it, girl! Call me tomorrow?

You lean back in your chair while you wait for her reply, a little upset that she didn’t tell you, and you can’t help but wonder why.

Her reply doesn’t really make you feel any better:

You were busy, babe. Talk to you tomorrow.

You kick off your shoes the moment you step into the apartment you refuse to call home, and head straight to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine, before you open the takeout container and put some of the fried rice and egg rolls you got from your favourite restaurant on a plate. It’s still nice outside and so you end up on the tiny balcony, now bare feet propped up on the railing as you eat your dinner.

The thought of having to work with Mark again, if only for a short while, takes up most of your headspace and you hate how indecisive you are about it. Part of you wants nothing to do with him ever again, but part of you knows he really is the best man for the job. Say what you will about the asshole, but he knows how to run a company. Having Mark at the San Francisco office would probably mean neither you nor Deb would have to step in ever again and, you reason, he could probably manage Seattle and Phoenix from here too.

You really just want to talk to somebody about this, because putting your thoughts into words has always helped you, and so you call your brother.

The call goes straight to voicemail although a message follows soon after:

At Jake's science fair, or did you forget that was today?

You let out a frustrated groan, because yes, you totally forgot.

It does nothing to help your mood and you're starting to feel so bad about missing out on so much that's happening in Charlotte right now, what with Jake’s science fair and Lauren apparently dating someone, that it's actually making you homesick. You decide to pour yourself another glass of wine, because fuck it.

When you close the fridge your eyes fall on a picture of you and Sebastian you've put up there and you figure maybe you should just call him. A quick glance at the clock, however, tells you it's early morning in Greece and so you forego that idea because you don't really want to wake him up with the news your ex is about to make a comeback into your life.

You are having a very ‘Woo is me’ moment and hate how alone you feel right now. You know the wine is not helping and so you dump what’s left in the glass in the kitchen sink and put the kettle on for a cup of tea instead. While the water boiling you set out to find a notebook, hoping that putting your thoughts on paper will help you figure out what it is you can do about this situation and maybe make some decisions.

You call Deb the moment you’re at your desk and she answers on the first ring.

“Tell me,”

Never one to beat around the bush, you think, although in this case you appreciate it. “Have Mark take over San Francisco,” you tell her, “but I need him to do his homework in advance because two days is my absolute max.”

“Noted,” Deb agrees easily, “but?”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, “I want to be able to divide my time between Charlotte and New York as I see fit, with Charlotte as my home base, at least for now. If I ever decide to move to New York I want it to be an option to turn that arrangement around-”

“Give me two weeks once Mark has settled in-”

“-and I’d like to take four weeks of unpaid leave in August,” you add quickly, before you lose momentum.

She sucks in her breath, “I don’t know if I can do that, kid.”

“It’s only four weeks, Deb,” you counter, “and it’s unpaid. I still have enough days left to make it a paid vacation if that’s what you prefer.” You close your eyes and scrunch up your nose, anxious about her reply, because you’ve never really talked back to her like this before.

Turns out there was nothing to worry about when she tells you, “Look who finally put on her big-girl panties, standing up to her boss.” She lets out a laugh, “I’m proud of ya, kid.”

“Will you let me know when to expect Mark? I’ll make sure everything’s ready by then.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It’s just,” Lauren hesitates, and you want to tell her it’s ok, that you know you haven’t been there for her as much as you should have, but she continues then, “it’s weird not having you around, not knowing what you’re up to. Not knowing if, when I call you, I’m bothering you.”

“Hey,” you counter quickly, “you are one of the few people who never have to worry about that and I’m a little shocked you would even think that. You can call me day or night, Laur, always.”

“I know.” She sighs then, “It’s just- I feel like- I don’t know, ok? It’s just different with you being so far away for so long. I miss you.”

“I know,” you try to smile even though she can’t see you, “I’m sorry for not being the best bestest friend these past few weeks. I miss you too, babe.” You get up from the couch and make your way onto the balcony where you lean against the railing, “Let’s just hope Mark can make it out of London soon so I can get back to Charlotte and get back to annoying you twenty-four seven.”

She laughs, “You’re going to have to share me now, though.”

You’re relieved she seems to have accepted your apology and so you decide to tease her a little more, “You do realize the first thing I’m doing when I get back is give Matt the same stern talking-to as you did Sebastian?”

“Oh shit,” she whispers. A little louder then, “Please don’t, I really like him.”

“Well you better tell him then that your best friend is not above kicking his ass if he ever hurts you.”

“Will do.” She clears her throat then, “So, are you going to tell Sebastian about Mark?”

“That was the most abrupt change of subject ever,” you scoff with a grin, “what the hell, Laur?”

“I just think you should tell him.”

“I know,” you pinch the bridge of your nose, “I will. I just want to wait until I know when Mark gets here, you know?”

“Yeah.” She lets out a yawn and laughs, “Sorry.”

“Alright, alright,” you smile, “I get the hint.”

She laughs, “I’m sorry, babe, it’s been a long day. Listen,” another yawn, although you’re sure this one was on purpose, “let me know once you know more about Mark and when you’re getting back, ok?”

“Yup, will do.” You have to stifle your own yawn then, “Talk to you soon, babe.”

“Love you.”

It isn’t until Friday afternoon that there’s an email from Deb, informing you Mark will take a flight from London next Wednesday so that you have all of Thursday and Friday to get him settled in. She’s included a list of subjects he wants to discuss but you decide that’s for later, before you close all active connections and shut your laptop off. You grab your phone off your desk and send a quick message to Lauren:

Coming home next weekend :)

Her reply comes when you’re at the elevator bay:

Yay! Let me know how when you land and I’ll pick you up! Xx

Your next message is to Sebastian:

Missing you something fierce, Stan! Call me when you can? X

The sound of your phone wakes you from a deep sleep early on Sunday morning, but you can’t help but smile when you see ‘Mr Smooth’ flashing on your screen and so you answer with a quiet, “Hey you.”

“God, it’s good to hear your voice again,” he whispers. “Hi, sweetheart.”

“Hi,”

“You ok?”

“Yeah,” you smile, “I have some news though.” There’s a knot starting to form in your stomach and so you figured it’s better to bite the bullet right away.

“Tell me,”

“Promise you’ll let me finish before you say anything?”

“That bad?”

“Not really- I don’t know,” you push the covers off and swing your legs over the edge of the bed. You take a deep breath before you continue, “Remember when I told you about my ex, Mark?”

“Hmm,” he replies, and you take that as your cue to continue.

“What I didn’t tell you then- And maybe I should have- We used to work together in Charlotte.” You clear your throat, “And when we broke up Deb moved him to the London office, but now she wants him to take over San Francisco from me.” You wait for a reply from him, but then remember you told him to wait and so you continue, “He starts on Thursday and we’ve scheduled two days for me to bring him up to speed, so I’m going to have to spend some time together with him and I don’t know, I just thought you should know.” You push yourself off the bed and make your way to the kitchen, “The good news though, is that I got Deb to agree to let me divide my time between Charlotte and New York from now on, and that I have four weeks off in August.”

He stays quiet for a little too long and so you’re preparing for the worst when he finally replies. But then he just says, “How do you feel about seeing him again?” and you feel a wave of relief washing over you.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly. “I mean, I know he’s right for the job and it’s always easier to bring in someone who has experience and knows the company, but I- There’s a lot of history there and I just hope he realizes I’m not the same person anymore.” You lean against the counter and let out a sigh, “I guess I just want to get this over with and go back to Charlotte.”

“So nothing for me to worry about?” His voice is soft.

“No,” you’re quick to reassure him.

“Good.”

Mark is, well, he’s still an asshole, you realize when he walks into your office and tries to greet you with a hug. You offer him a hand and a curt, “Hello,” and have to hide your smile when you see the disappointment in his eyes. You’ve been feeling nervous all morning, hell, all week, because somehow you knew he would try to act like nothing ever happened.

“So this is how it’s going to be, huh?” He says while he puts his briefcase down on one of the visitors’ chairs on the other side of your desk.

“Yes, Mark,” you nod and sit down in your own chair, “this is exactly how it’s going to be.” You watch as he unbuttons the jacket of his three piece suit before he sits down and leans back in his chair and you hand him a folder, “Read this first, it’s an overview of the last five years and should give you a fairly good impression of how things are run here.”

He thumbs through the papers, seemingly resigned to the fact that it’s solely a business relationship between you two from now on, and you see his eyebrows go up when he comes to the financial statements, “How on earth-”

“I know,” you hand him another folder, “this is Paul Kroeger’s file. Or at least everything that I’ve managed to uncover in the few weeks I’ve been here. I really urge you to keep digging, because I’m sure more shit will come up.”

“Why didn’t Deb step in sooner?”

“You’ll have to ask Deb that,” you offer with a shrug. Another folder then, “This is everything you need to know about the rest of the staff here. I don’t think anyone else was in on it, but again, you might want to keep digging.”

He nods, “Ok.” Taking all three folders, he puts them in his briefcase before he looks back at you, squinting a little as if he’s trying to read you. There’s a hint of a smile playing on his lips when he says, “You’ve changed.”

And you haven’t, you want to bite back, but don’t because you want to at least try to keep things civil. Instead you simply agree, “I have.” You try to steer the conversation back to work, “We have a meeting with Finance in ten minutes, then lunch with the board, and a meeting with Sales in the afternoon. After that I figured we could take a quick tour of the building, so you can meet everyone, and then I’ll send out the official message to all of our partners.”

He just nods.

“I’ll make sure to have this office empty by the end of the day so you can get settled in,” you continue, “and then I’ll be available all day tomorrow should you have any further questions.”

“You forgot one thing,”

You don’t say anything and just look at him with a raised eyebrow.

A cocky smile flashes across his face when he says, “You forgot to mention we’ll be having dinner tonight so we-”

“We’re not having dinner tonight, Mark,” you say, effectively cutting him off. It makes you feel good to tell him no and so you have to try your hardest to hide your smile when you see his face drop.

“You really have changed,” he says again, but this time there’s a hint of dismay in his voice.

You smile widely now, because fuck him, “Yes. I really have.”

Blame it on the red-eye flight and thus having to get up extremely early this morning, or simply on the fact that it’s been five weeks since you last saw her, but you find yourself actually tearing up when you walk out of exit E and see Lauren waiting there for you.

She holds out her arms as you walk up to her and then envelopes you in a tight hug, “Don’t cry, silly.”

“I just really missed you,” you sniffle while you wrap your arms around her. “And it’s that time of the month, so you know,” you chuckle through your tears, “double the fun.” When you pull back you see her eyes are glossed over as well and so you just stick out your tongue at her, “Let’s go home.”

“Alright,” she says once you’re in her car, “start talking, babe. I want to know everything that’s happened since I last saw you.”

You’ve just finished telling her about your parents’ visit to San Francisco and your trip to Greece when she pulls up on your driveway and so all of a sudden you’re home again after almost two months. The garden looks absolutely immaculate and you know you have your parents to thank for that, reminding yourself to call them later today. Grabbing your suitcases out the trunk you let Lauren take one from your as you follow her to your house.

She turns around rather dramatically when you get to the front door, “Ok. So. Please don’t be mad, but-” she pulls a face, “-that plant in your dining room?”

“Felicity?”

“Sure, yeah,” she scoffs, “name your plants. What’s next? Naming your electrical appliances?”

“You’re just stalling because Felicity the Fiddle Leaf Fig is obviously no longer with us and you’re just too afraid to admit you killed her,” you counter, trying to keep a straight face.

“I didn’t-” Lauren hesitates then and seems to realize you’re just messing with her, “but yes. Felicity has gone to plant heaven. It was all very sad. I buried her in the backyard if you want to pay your respects.”

You let out a laugh, “I’d rather you just open the front door for me so we can have a drink and gossip about Mark.”

“You really said that?”

“I really did,” you admit with a smile, thinking back to when you told Mark to have a nice life when you left the office Friday afternoon. You grab the bottle of wine from off the floor next to you and top of her glass before you fill yours, “I don’t know. In a way those two days gave me some sort of closure, I guess.”

“Hmm,” she agrees, taking a sip of her wine. “So what’s next?”

“Well first you’re going to introduce me to Matt sometime this week-”

“Babe.”

“Babe,” you echo. “You’ve been dating for almost a month, do I need to remind you that you met Sebastian before we even were officially dating?”

“Yeah, ok,” she agrees, “I guess you could both come over for dinner next weekend.” She sits up a little, “So you’re going to be here for a while, right?”

You nod, “Sort of. I go back to work on Monday and then Sebastian’s scheduled to fly back on the third and that’s the same weekend I start my four-week leave-”

“That’s only two more weeks.”

“It is,” you smile. “I don’t know if he wants to celebrate his birthday here or if he wants to go to New York, and I think he said something about maybe taking a short holiday somewhere, but his next project starts in September so I’ll come back to Charlotte then and probably stay here while he’s away.”

“Ugh,” Lauren rolls her eyes and shakes her head but smiles, “to be the girlfriend of an international superstar.”

“Tante!” Jake exclaims when he opens the front door. He all but jumps in your arms to give you a hug.

“Uh, excuse me, sir,” you tease, resisting the hug, “who are you and what did you do with my nephew?” You laugh when he pulls a face, “You are getting too big, kiddo, slow it down a little, will you?”

Jake giggles and hugs you even tighter.

“Ah, there she is,” Nathan says from the doorway, arms crossed in front of his chest, “my long-lost sister. So glad you're finally gracing us with your presence after coming back home a week ago.”

“So dramatic,” you counter with a grin, although he has a point. You should have gone to see them sooner, but as always work got in the way, what with Deb doubling your workload before you take your leave in another two weeks. Jake jumps out of your arms then and so you get to hug your brother for the first time in what feels like forever, ‘“ Hi, Nate.”

“Hi, loser,” he says from somewhere over your shoulder, but the way he holds you tight tells you he’s missed you too.

“How you holding up?”

“Good,” he pulls back and smiles, “still some headaches every now and then, but not as much as two months ago-”

“That’s good,” you agree. You follow them through the house and out into the backyard, where Jake excitedly shows you the inflatable swimming pool he and Nathan put up yesterday. Sitting down on one of the chairs you watch him as he takes off his shirt and jumps in without hesitation.

Nathan re-emerges from the kitchen with some iced tea and hands you a glass before he sits down somewhere next to you. He flicks your upper arm, “You good?”

You nod, “Yeah.”

“Truth?”

“Truth,” you reply with a nod. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs, “a lot has happened in a short time, I guess.”

This is new, you think, this out-in-the-open caring side of your brother. You decide you like it and so you try not to make a smart remark but instead reassure him, “I’m good.”

“You sure?”

“Nate, what are you getting at?” You’re confused now, because why is he pressing this?

He hangs his head and lets out a sigh, “I guess you haven’t seen it yet, have you?”

“I’m not-” you watch him as he gets his phone and pulls up something that has his jaw set in a way that tells you whatever it is, it’s not good. He hands you his phone then and you let out a quiet, ��Oh,” when you see the pictures.

“I figured that’s why you were here,” he says with a nod towards his phone.

"When?"

"Saw them this morning," he offers.

You scroll further down and feel your throat go dry when you see picture after picture of Sebastian and some girl, her hand on his arm as she seems to whisper something in his ear. He’s laughing in some of the pictures and if you didn’t know any better you’d think they were on a date.

“Is that his co-star?” Nate asks quietly, knowing that if it is the pictures could have been taken on set and it wouldn’t be as bad.

Not trusting your voice right now you just shake your head because no. No, it isn’t.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, babe,” Lauren tries again, but she sounds a little less confident now that she’s seen the pictures and read the accompanying article about Sebastian’s new mystery woman where they claim she’s a Greek local he fell for while filming ‘Monday’.

You drove straight to her house when you left Nathan’s in a hurry, but only after you promised him you wouldn’t do anything reckless, and now you’re on her balcony, trying to make sense of all of this over some hard liquor because you both deemed wine wasn’t going to cut it.

She says something else then, but you’re not really listening and so you just continue to stare into the distance. She nudges you with her foot, “Call him.”

You shake your head, “I don’t want to.”

“Why not?”

You look at her with tears in your eyes, your voice barely above a whisper, “What if it’s true?”

#The Draw #Sebastian Stan x reader #Harley Sunday x Sebastian Stan #Sebastian Stan Imagine #Sebastian Stan fanfic

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 4 years ago

Text

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 10: Premonitions]

Several weeks and depressive episodes later...I’m BACK! 😃

And guess what: we’re officially approximately halfway done with BYCNL! (There will probably be nineteen chapters total.)

The Queen/BoRhap fandom is feeling extra quiet lately, so if you’re still out there I’d LOVE it if you dropped me a comment/message/etc to let me know! I appreciate you all so much and hope you are finding things that bring you happiness, fulfillment, and peace. 💜

Chapter summary: Roger makes a purchase, Freddie makes a friend, Y/N makes an unsettling discovery, John makes a bewildering request.

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, babies (but not your babies...or are they?!).

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii @loveandbeloved29 @killer-queen-xo @maggieroseevans @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark @im-an-adult-ish @queenlover05 @someforeigntragedy @imtheinvisiblequeen @joemazzmatazz @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye @namelesslosers @inthegardensofourminds @deacyblues @youngpastafanmug @sleepretreat @hardyshoe @bramblesforbreakfast @sevenseasofcats @tensecondvacation @bookandband @queen-crue @jennyggggrrr @madeinheavxn @whatgoeson-itslate @brianssixpence @simonedk @herewegoagainniall @stardust-killer-queen

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! 😊

“Roger, this is too much.” Your sandals click on the marble tile floor, a sandy gold like the beaches of Ostia. You peer up at the winding staircase, the Tudor-style diamond windows, the chandelier dripping with crystals. “This is way, way, way too much.”

“There’s no such thing as too much,” he parries merrily. “And look!” He pulls back an armful of sheer white curtains that had obscured the backyard. “The pool has a slide!”

You smile because you have to; he’s so elated, so young. “Roger, baby, unless you’re planning to acquire a literal harem of women we will never have a use for six bedrooms.”

“Sure we will!” He counts on his rugged fingers. “There’s one for us, and one can be the guest bedroom for when my mother or your parents visit, and then there’s one for if Chrissie ever wises up and leaves that wanker Brian and requires a place to stay between husbands, and one for when John needs an escape from that mind-numbing domestic purgatory of his, and one for Freddie’s overflow cats...” Roger trails off. He’s lost track.

“That still leaves one unnecessary bedroom.”

He grins. “One for Roger Junior.”

“Oh my god.”

“It’s a wonderful home for children,” the real estate agent chimes, flitting around rearranging pillows and dusting off tabletops. “Plenty of space to spread out in, lots of bedrooms, fenced-in yard, security gate, spectacular school district...and such a lovely garden to explore! Does your wife garden?” she asks Roger.

“Girlfriend,” he corrects. “And no, she’s thoroughly useless in the agricultural department.”

You laugh and shove him away. “I have other talents.”

“You certainly do.” He growls as he grips your waist, inhales you, bites playfully down your neck and collarbones. The real estate agent raises her eyebrows, but politely averts her gaze and pretends to check if an artificial fern needs watering.

It’s the downturn of August, 1976. The sun is glaring and hot and spills in through the windows, setting the metallic flecks in the marble floor alight. It makes you think of the Yellow Brick Road, of fantasies built piece by piece into truth. John and Veronica bought a house in Putney, Brian and Chrissie a far larger one in Chelsea, Freddie and Mary a posh flat in West Kensington. Roger has his heart set on nothing less than a Surrey mansion. On the rare occasion that Queen has been home since the start of the A Night At The Opera Tour, you and Roger stay in his shabby—dodgy, you remind yourself—old apartment and pack boxes late into the evening, giggling over all the random and ancient relics you stumble across, sticks of Freddie’s eyeliner and dust bunnies tangled in strands of Brian’s spiraled hair, crumpled up spheres of paper with excerpts of songs scrawled on them, fossilized crusts of grilled cheese sandwiches beneath the couch. Queen is preparing for a brief UK tour at the start of September, including a free concert in Hyde Park organized by entrepreneur Richard Branson. Then it’ll be back to the studio to record their next album, a highly anticipated album, an album that will make millions regardless of what’s on it; and what’s on it, in your humble and musically unlearned opinion, is pretty goddamn great.

“Seriously,” Roger prompts, quietly now. “Do you like it?”

“Of course I like it. I love it. I just don’t need it.”

He grins. “I know you don’t need it. But I do.”

“That list of yours is getting awfully long.”

“You have no idea. We haven’t even started on the exotic pet collection yet.”

“There’s a marvelous koi pond out in the backyard,” the real estate agent says. “You could add turtles, and frogs, and all different types of fish. I can recommend sturgeon, they have such an alluring primeval sort of look to them, and the shimmer on shubunkins is just delightful...”

“You heard the lady.” Rog stretches his right hand like he does when his arm bothers him, when the bone that will never fully heal aches like something ancient and irredeemable, like hunger, like unrequited love: fingertips sprayed outwards, then folded into his palm, then outwards again.

“Rog...I don’t know.”

“Come on, baby! It has everything. Roman-style master bath. Bedrooms with mirrors on the ceiling. Space for my own studio. Land. Enormous refrigerators. You’ll have abundant room for John’s drawings.”

“Ohhh, now that’s true.” John is always adding to your collection, slipping you sketches as the boys scurry around getting ready before a show, during songwriting sessions that last long after midnight, when the band and its expanding circle of friends and family gather for birthdays and holidays. You don’t ask him about You’re My Best Friend, or, come to think of it, any of his other songs. You don’t ask him how he feels about his new life as a husband and father. And in return, John doesn’t ask whether you’re ever going to marry Roger, if you even want to, if you worry about what the future holds. It’s a loaded peace, but a comfortable one. A safe one.

“It doesn’t bother you, does it?” Roger asks suddenly. “The girlfriend thing. The not-wife thing.”

“No,” you reply, smiling. “Of course not.” Roger isn’t someone who pens love letters, recites all the reasons why he cannot live without you, sings love songs. He rarely speaks of love at all. Roger is as he always is: all action, all energy, eyes forever looking forward. But he does love you; you’re sure he does. Everything he does bleeds with love.

“Good. Because there’s no one I’d rather acquire a harem and zoological park with.”

“Okay,” you relent. “But no lions or tigers or bears. I’m quite attached to your limbs, and you’ve come close enough to ruining them already.”

“Deal.” He taps the Canon that hangs from your shoulder by its strap. “We should document this momentous juncture. One day we can pull out the photo album and show Roger Junior. ‘Hey look kid, this was the day Mum and Dad bought the house you were conceived in.’”

You laugh, almost positive that Roger isn’t serious. “I can guarantee you that precisely zero percent of children would ever want to hear that.” Nevertheless, you ready the camera and hold it as far away as you can, the lens aimed towards you.

“Don’t forget to smile!” Roger trills in his high, victorious voice as he rests his chin in the dip of your collarbone.

You snap the photo. The flash bursts through the kitchen of the Surrey mansion, blinding you both. The artificial bluish light dissipates like smoke.

~~~~~~~~~~

His name is Laszlo, and he’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen...even when he’s not especially well-mannered.

Currently, Laszlo—an Eastern European moniker from somewhere in his mother’s comically vast family tree—is whimpering and squirming against Veronica’s chest as she pats his tiny back and sighs wearily. Veronica, ever the good Polish Catholic wife, is already pregnant again. Chrissie smirks triumphantly and puffs on a cigarette, her rings glimmering on her left hand, her dress violet and new and very expensive. Brian is lost in some deep intellectual conversation with Richard Branson, gesturing with his long nimble hands and nodding empathetically, his dark curls rustling in the breeze like the lithe branches of a willow tree.

“Thank god you’re here,” John calls as you and Roger approach. “Freddie is about to get this concert cancelled.”

“I’m about to make this concert fabulous, darling,” Freddie objects. “We need pyrotechnics, we need sparklers and explosions and fireworks!”

Mr. Branson shakes his head. “Can’t do it, Fred. The embers could travel and set the trees on fire.”

Freddie groans. “Tell him, Roger!”

Roger shrugs, grinning, resting his elbow on John’s shoulder. “I don’t know, maybe we shouldn’t burn down Hyde Park.”

“You’ll be under a huge orange canopy, right over there.” Mr. Branson motions with a sweep of his arm. “You can’t do anything aerial. Flashing lights, sure. Fog, sure. But no fire. No explosions. Oh, and there’s technically a noise ordinance, but we’re working out a deal so the city won’t enforce it on the day of the show.”

“Orange?!” Freddie squeals.

“How will the acoustics be in a tent?” Brian asks, troubled.

John smiles mischievously. “Yes, how dreadful if no one could hear the extraneous guitar solos.”

“I have a gong, Rich,” Roger says. “Everyone will be able to hear my gong, right?”

“Your gong?” Freddie whines. “What about my voice?!”

“I miss stadiums,” Roger grumbles. You exchange a knowing glance with Mary and Chris and Veronica, who is imploring Laszlo to take a bottle. Our boys are difficult, aren’t they?

“The acoustics will be fine,” Mr. Branson snaps. “The tent color will be fine. Everything will be fine. You don’t need any fucking fireworks. Please for the love of god just tell me what kind of sandwiches you want.”

“That’ll be an ordeal as well,” Chrissie quips, and you all laugh; even Laszlo perks up, stops wriggling, glimpses around the open green space with curious greyish eyes like John’s.

Some teenage employee carrying a tangle of cables trots over, sweat dripping down his flushed freckled cheeks. “Mr. Branson? There’s someone from the city here to see you.”

Richard Branson smacks his forehead. “Jesus christ. Okay, I’ll be right there. Hey, Steve, hey, have you seen Dom? Go find Dom and tell her to come over here, okay? Thanks.”

The teenage employee nods and disappears into a sea of bustling people ferrying equipment, fliers, chairs, messages.

“I’m so sorry about this,” Mr. Branson says. “These city bastards are out to crucify me. You’d think they’d be a little more grateful that Queen of all bands is willing to put on a free concert in their backyard, but alas. Hey, Dom, over here!”

He waves to a petite young woman with a glossy shock of black hair and olive Mediterranean skin. She’s wearing all yellow: shorts patterned with daffodils, a tank top the color of butter, a headband like a sunbeam. One of her trim arms is cradling a notebook; the other reaches out so she can shake hands with everyone. The gesture is courteous but somewhat unnatural.

“This,” Mr. Branson begins, “is my personal assistant Dominique. She’s wonderful, she’ll listen to all your pretentious tales of woe and do it with a smile, because she’s a true professional. Better yet, she’s going to ask you the tedious questions I was supposed to so you don’t have to wait for me to finish sparring with the city council. Okay? Okay. Have fun. I’ll be back.”

“It’s a pleasure,” Dom says placidly in a heavy French accent. So that’s why her handshake was off somehow, stilted and weak; the French usually kiss as a greeting. You choke back a snort as you imagine Veronica’s reaction to that. Mr. Branson stalks away muttering about litigious twats.

“Oh, aren’t you just darling!” Freddie circles Dom, admiring her outfit, her hair, her gold hoop earrings. He wafts his cigarette around flamboyantly, completely forgetting to smoke it. “The French are so tasteful, aren’t they? You simply must connect me with your stylist.”

“I would be happy to, Mr. Mercury. But regrettably, I am my own stylist.”

“Ahh!” Freddie exhales, enamored. Mary lifts Laszlo from Veronica’s tired arms and cradles him, tickles his nose, beams down into his fresh and inquisitive face.

Dom pulls a pen from her shirt pocket. “May I ask your sandwich preferences for the day of the show?”

She immediately receives four very different answers, and she raises an eyebrow, her pen hovering over the lined paper of her notebook.

“I’m so sorry about them,” Chrissie says, and Dom chuckles civilly.

“Ham and cheddar,” Freddie tells her, synthesizing the responses. “Bacon, fried fish, steak and onion jam...and something for Brian. Cucumber maybe. Could we get some cucumber sandwiches, dear?”

“You’re a vegetarian?” Dom asks Brian, jotting down notes.

“He’s morally superior to us in every way,” John sighs dreamily, and Rog and Freddie cackle.

“I’m not a strict vegetarian,” Bri clarifies. “But for the sake of the animals and the planet, I try to limit meat when I can.”

Roger adds: “And I order twice as much of it, just to spite him.”

Dominique leads Queen around the portion of Hyde Park where the concert will be held, runs through the itinerary, fields a litany of questions and complaints. And you decide that you like Dom; she’s professional and reserved, yes, but she’s also patient with Freddie, smiles at his jokes, compliments his black-and-yellow striped shirt (“We match, and you remind me of a...oh, what’s the word in English? That bug...it flies around buzzing...buzz buzz...a bee!”), asks him what he’s planning to wear to the show. She assuages Brian, listens to John, takes the time to chat with the women about children, makeup, homes, what it’s like to be in love with rock stars. But Dom mostly ignores Roger, dodges his grins, remains staunchly undazzled. And that would worry you—because Roger loves the chase, you know that firsthand—if he hadn’t already taught you how to trust him, how addictively flawless and exhilarating life with Roger Taylor could be.

When Laszlo begins to fuss in Mary’s grasp, you take your turn holding him; and he blinks up at you with eyes that are wide and clear and seeking, and you find yourself feeling like you always do when you’re around your godson: like maybe you have a stronger opinion about wanting children than you thought you did, like you can’t stop envisioning a baby with Roger’s eyes instead of John’s.

That evening—after leaving Hyde Park, after dinner, after drinks mixed out by the koi pond—as you doze in a sweltering bubble bath and steam curls through the air, you hear Roger’s voice floating from the kitchen downstairs. You rise out of the tub, towel yourself off, slip into a white silk robe as rivulets of bathwater slink down the back of your neck. You tread gingerly towards the kitchen, keep silent so you can hear, lurk in the shadows of the hallway with your palms pressed flat against the wallpaper.

“Hello, is Dominique Beyrand in?” Roger says into the kitchen phone. “I’ve been trying to track her down. Sure, I’ll wait. Thanks.” After a pause, he continues. “Hi, Dom! It’s Roger Taylor, from Queen. The irritating blond one. I was just wondering if you’d happened to stumble across my wallet since this afternoon, I seem to have misplaced it. Oh, you haven’t? Bloody hell. Well, thank you for taking my call. Aw, that’s so kind of you, I’m sure I’ll locate it eventually. I’ve got a terrible habit of losing things. Okay, thanks so much. Goodnight to you too. See you soon. Cheers.” He hangs the phone up as you step into the kitchen. His smile is bright and innocuous. “Hey, baby!”

“Who was that?” Your tone is similarly casual; or so you hope.

“Just Richard Branson’s assistant. That French woman Dominique. I can’t find my wallet and thought I might have left it at Hyde Park, but no dice. Oh well.”

Roger begins rummaging through the drawer full of business cards and address books, tapping his foot, humming to himself. And surely he isn’t trying to avoid my eyes. Your gaze skates over the marble countertop. There, by the refrigerator, just a few feet—a meter, you correct yourself to be properly British—from where Roger stands, is his black leather wallet.

“It’s right there, Rog,” you say, pointing. And now your voice isn’t so nonchalant.

Roger spins to check. “Oh my god, I completely missed it!” He snatches up the wallet with a celebratory chuckle. “I’m such a twit sometimes. You’re too fucking smart, you know that? You’re making me look bad.”

He rushes to you, takes your left hand, bites your knuckles lightly like he did outside Massachusetts General Hospital under dawn skies over two years ago. And then Roger whispers to you, nuzzling your neck scented with lavender soap and doubt.

“Let’s go to bed.”

~~~~~~~~~~

There’s a knock at the door. John is standing on the front porch of the Surrey house with his hands in his pockets and a vague sort of smile on his face. He’s in a black suit.

“Get ready,” he says. “Do your hair, throw on some earrings. Maybe the pearls Roger got you last Christmas. We’re going shopping.”

“Why do I need to look fancy to go shopping?”

John shrugs, feigning indifference; but the puckish glint in his eyes gives him away. Yet there’s something a little sad and weighty in them too, isn’t there?

Your own eyes narrow. “I’m onto you, bassist.”

He laughs as you tug teasingly at a lock of his downy hair. “You always are.”

John takes you to a dress shop on Bond Street where the corsets trickle with gemstones and the designers all have Italian names: Armani, Prada, Abate, Cerruti, Valentino, Biagiotti. He sinks into a leather chair just outside the fitting room and lights a cigarette, takes a long drag, points to you with the lit end.

“Go ahead. Go wild. It’s a blank check.”

“Really?!” You glance around the shop, your pulse racing. “But I don’t know the occasion. I don’t want to be underdressed or overdressed or whatever. Although I don’t think I’ve ever been overdressed in my life.”

“Yes, you can’t seem to shake those pragmatic service industry roots, can you?” Another drag. “You need a dress and matching shoes. Formal, but not too formal. Think a record company party. Elegant but exciting. Lots of sparkle. Slightly slutty, if you’re so inclined.”

“This is an unconventional bonding activity,” you tell John, trying to conceal your nerves.

“Love, this isn’t something you can fail at,” he says, gently now. “You’re going to look amazing no matter what. So just have fun with it. This isn’t a test. This is one of those adventures you’re always searching for.”

I can promise you that your life will never feel like a cage; that’s what Roger once told you. But maybe you don’t always want to be quite so free, so unmoored. “Okay. But you have to swear to give honest opinions. I don’t want to show up looking like a wombat because you were too nice to say anything.”

John just chuckles to himself, shakes his head, devours cigarette after cigarette.

With the assistance of one of the shop employees, you climb into a pastel pink dress with a full ruffled skirt, an emerald green dress with an empire waist and loose sheer sleeves, a shimmering metallic silvery dress with a form-fitting silhouette. John nods at all of them, wholeheartedly approves, defers to your judgment. He periodically consults his wristwatch as he taps his cigarettes on the rim of an ashtray, and deflects your questions when you ask him why. Then you step out of the fitting room—balanced on gold heels—in a white dress with a hem that hits just above your knees, a halter neckline, a slim keyhole down the center of your chest; and John’s cigarette tumbles out of his fingers.

“That’s the one,” he breathes, soaking it in. Then he asks the employee to cut off all the tags and whips out his wallet. “Toss your old clothes and shoes in a bag. We gotta catch a cab.”

“We’re going straight to the party?”

“We certainly are.”

“What the hell kind of ridiculously lame party starts at 3 p.m.?”

John smirks craftily. “The kind of party we’re going to. Let’s rock and roll, Florence Nightingale.”

John gives the taxi driver an address and you sail through the streets of London, splashing through shallow evaporating puddles, squinting when sunlight ricochets glaringly off the slick pavement. The taxi rolls to a stop outside of a grand stone building with columns and intricate carvings of leaves and flowers. The sign outside reads: Kensington and Chelsea Register Office.

You turn to John. “Who’s getting married?!”

He just smiles, a deep harbor of secrets.

“It’s Fred and Mary, right? Jesus christ, John, you can’t wear white to someone else’s wedding, Mary’s going to strangle me—”

“It’s not Mary’s wedding.”

Slowly, your jaw falls open. “No,” you whisper in disbelief.

John darts out of the taxi, jogs around to your side, and opens the door for you. You gape up at him senselessly, struggling to remember how to form sentences.

“John...this...this is some bizarre and elaborate joke, right?”

“Nope.” He offers his hand, helps you out of the taxi, leads you up the front steps of the Register Office. Inside, everyone is waiting: Freddie and Mary, Brian and Chrissie, Veronica with babbling baby Laszlo, Roger’s mother and sister...and Roger, of course, in his best black suit and bleached blond hair and trademark guaranteed-to-dazzle (unless of course you’re Dominique Beyrand) grin. He flies to you and takes your hands in his.

“You look incredible, baby.”

“Roger, what’s going on...?”

“Don’t freak out,” he commands, and instantly your panic vanishes. There’s a pink rose pinned to his lapel. “I know we don’t feel like we need to get married. I know we agree it doesn’t mean anything.” Is that still true? “So don’t think that this is about trying to trap you or control you or bullshit white picket fences or anything. And of course you can say no, I won’t be mad, no one will hold that against you, we can find some other reason to party. But the simple facts are that I’m a British national with a mansion and a plethora of perpetual royalties and you’re an American here on a work visa, and the law gets a bit thorny in this situation. And I want to make sure you’re taken care of if something happens to me. That you can carry out my wishes. That you can stay here with the band as long as you want to. So, I’ve got your passport and birth certificate and everything else we need...and some overly-enthusiastic witnesses. Are you cool with signing a piece of paper today?”

“Of course she bloody well is!” Freddie exclaims, and everyone laughs. Mary is carrying a basket full of champagne flutes, Chrissie several bottles of pink champagne, Roger’s sister a tub of ice. Brian has been entrusted to chronicle the event with your Canon. Veronica is more giddy than you’ve ever seen her, even more animated than she was at her own wedding. Well, I suppose she doesn’t have to worry about any illicit pregnancies or condemnatory great aunts this time around.

“Okay,” you tell Roger. And you wish you weren’t beaming so broadly your cheeks ache, because it feels a little pathetic to be this happy about an admittedly meaningless wedding. But it does make you happy, your general aversion towards conventionality be damned.

You sign papers and you toast glasses and you giggle uproariously in the lobby of the Register Office with the best friends you’ve ever had, guzzle pink champagne, pose for photos, take your turn holding Laszlo, kiss Roger beneath the stone arch of the centuries-old building.

It doesn’t mean anything, you remind yourself, suddenly very aware of the missing weight of a ring on your left hand. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything.

But you catch a few furtive glances between Chrissie and Bri, the twist of a frown on Freddie’s face when he thinks no one is watching, the distance in John’s shadowy eyes as he inhales champagne like air.

It doesn’t mean anything.

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talkfastromance4 · 5 years ago

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I Can’t Stop Drinking About You (a.i) one-shot

Author’s note: So this is hella angsty. No idea where this even came from but Ashton brings out the angst in me I dunno. Could possibly be a two parter? Let me know.

Warnings: drinking, heartbreak

Masterlist

Ashton watches the liquid slip and roll effortlessly at the bottom of the bottle as he teeters it from side to side. Through his cloudy and glazed eyes he finds the humor in his actions, the bottle is tipping just as he is. Tipping to insanity and tipping away from the surface, tipping away from her.

His head hurt and his heart felt heavier as he was hypnotized by the amber liquid moving from side to side before he brought the mouth of the bottle to his own and kissed it. The alcohol slid easily down his throat, he welcomed the burn like an old friend. He wanted the small flames to lick away his pain, numb the sadness in his heart but it only blazed the pain further.

Her face flashed across his closed eyes and he opened them with a start slamming the bottle a little too harshly on his black lacquered tabletop. Everything was blurry around him but her face was so clear and he couldn’t quite comprehend how that could be.

It’s been two weeks. Fourteen days since they both called it quits, their emotions were high but the white flags of surrender were flung higher. It wasn’t the distance, no, it was never that. Instead it was the depths of his standoffishness and drawing within himself that caused the strife between them. He’d get that way sometimes where he just shut down and wouldn’t open up to anyone but especially with her.

Early on in their relationship nicknames formed, he was her sunshine and she was his moonlight, she was the yin to his yang and he was the light to her dark illumination. They complemented each other perfectly but when those roles switched . . . it was damn near apocalyptic.

His sun would be eclipsed into the darkest parts of him and the light from within her tried and tried to bring his sunshine back.

“Why won’t you just talk to me?” she asked following him into his music room where his kit was set up.

“I don’t want to talk,” he responded in monotone.

“Why? Something is bothering you, I could help—“

“I don’t always need your help, you don’t always have to be the little optimist that you are. Sometimes I get in these moods and I want to be left alone,” he snapped harshly.

She saw venom in his eyes and as he clenched his drumsticks in his hands it made the snake tattoo flex in a way that looked like it were about to strike her.

“It’s been three days that you’ve been in this mood,” she crossed her arms and planted her feet preparing for battle. “You need to get out of it.”

“I don’t need to do anything. Leave me alone,” he shook his head.

Something in her snapped.

“You really want to be left alone?” she questioned just as he began to hit the black pads and he nodded. “And you really don’t need my help?”

“Yep.” His eyes were trained on the pieces of wood hitting the circles before him, he nodded his head along to the beat he was creating.

She muttered a fine and left the room. He was only playing for a few minutes when he saw her walk by with her duffel bag over her shoulder. Ashton stopped playing immediately and stalked out of the room to find her slipping on her boots.

“What the hell are you doing?” he demanded watching her actions. His eyes slid to how full her duffel bag was and the way she shoved her tangled phone charger in her purse.

“You want to be alone and you don’t need me so I’m leaving you alone,” she huffed but her voice shook as she slipped her arms through the sleeves of her jacket.

“Don’t be dramatic—“ he sighed and she whipped around so fast with her eyes blazing and filling with tears.

“I’m being dramatic? That’s rich coming from you who’s been walking around this house like a massive black hole. You don’t talk to me, you don’t want to talk to me so I’m taking myself out of the equation.”

She shouldered her bag and strode past him to the front door but Ashton grabbed her by the elbow stopping her. The air between them was static, charged with heightened emotions yet prominent to fizzle out.

“You’re just going to give up and walk away?”

“You gave up first,” she responded quietly and pulled out of his grasp.

He counted her steps as she walked to the door, it was five and on the sixth when her hand was on the knob she turned to him but kept her eyes on the floor.

“I’ll be back Sunday to get the rest of my things,” she told him quietly then slipped through the door into the night.

Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. . . .

Ashton pushed away from the table and tossed his empty bottle—which mirrored his empty heart a little too closely—into the sink. It shattered into a million broken pieces, the sound rung in his ears and made the pain even worse.

The images in his mind blurred together, it felt like he was on a carousel that never stopped spinning. Her eyes, her laugh, her hands, everything about her swirled in his vision and he couldn’t latch on one thing to ground him. Their fight was tossed in as well and the emptiness grew and grew but that’s impossible, how can nothing grow?

He tried closing his eyes but it only made things worse. So many memories swam across his mind and he couldn’t take any more of it so he tried to push it away then he heard a hard bang as his fist collided with something.

He opened his eyes to see he punched a massive hole in the wall. He pulled his hand out to see drywall on his rings and bright red blood on his knuckles.

“What the hell are you doing, man?” Calum’s voice swirled through his ears, each word swimming along until he understood what they meant.

He turned his head slowly to see Calum, his best friend, his brotherly soulmate standing in front of him with a pizza box in his hand.

“Nothin’,” Ashton mumbled trying to step towards him but he swayed hard to the left. He caught himself on the edge of the countertop. How was he still on this damn carousel?

“Woah,” Calum moved quickly to plant his hand on Ashton’s shoulder, “how hammered are you?”

“Not enough,” Ashton giggled at the absolute comical commodity of it all. “Is that pizza? I’m starved.”

“You’re out of your mind,” Calum corrected but let Ashton take the box from him. He watched in silent yet cautious amazement as Ashton devoured half the pizza in five minutes. “You’re a wreck.”

“That I am,” Ashton raised a finger and wiggled it in Calum’s face. “I’m a shipwreck with no lighthouse and it’s all my fault.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“She won’t want to talk to me,” Ashton sniggered then staggered over to his couch and collapsed onto the cushion. He felt the weight of Calum sit next to him.

“She’s a mess, too,” Calum said quietly.

Ashton rolled his head on the back of the couch and had to blink a few times before Calum’s head stopped darting so quickly from left to right.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. She hasn’t slept in three weeks and barely eats.”

“Three weeks? It’s only been two. . .” Ashton purses his lips trying to sort the numbers in his head.

“This all started before two weeks ago, Ash. You’re both miserable and you both need each other. Call her.”

Because Ashton is in a fragile state and wants the carousel to stop spinning, he heeds his brother’s advice and pulls out his phone. She’s still the number one favorite on his contact list and doesn’t hear Calum mumble, “I didn’t mean right now” as he presses ‘audio call.’

“No time like the present, Cally-boy,” Ashton grins as he listens to her voicemail and it distracts him.

‘Hey! It’s y/n! Sorry I missed your call, I’m probably sleeping or ignoring you cause I don’t know who you are. If it’s important leave a message and I’ll TRY to get back to you. Maybe. Make it count and I just might.’

“Damn, I forgot how cute you sound on the phone,” Ashton mumbles breathlessly, “You probably are sleeping. Yeh’re a very sleepy girl, babe. And cuddly. I miss you. I’m spinning and Cal won’t make it stop but you can . . . you always make it stop spinning. I’m sorry. That’s why I called. I’m sorry I’m such a dick and I . . . I’m sorry. Everything is heavy and the bottle broke and I am too and I . . . I want you here. I need you. Please come home. Please,” he finished in a desperate whisper and the phone fell from his hand.

Tears stung his eyes and everything kept spinning. Spinning, spinning, and spinning until he fell into the despair of his darkness.

When his eyes open again he’s met with a striking bright light and a pounding in his head. His mouth is dry and sandpapery, his body feels like a thousand pounds and he swears the pounding of his heart is echoing throughout his house.

He sits up and still hears a loud pounding only to realize it’s coming from the front door. Who the hell is here this early? Is it even early? Time is irrelevant at this point and he drags his body from the couch shuffling to the door.

He rubs his eyes then opens the door and chokes on his breath. His eyes zero in on her before him, the rest of the world is blurred, she shifts into focus and the carousel has finally stopped. The ache in his chest has lessened, the darkness surrounding him has lifted.

“Hi Ashton,” she greets quietly. He doesn’t miss how her voice is paper thin, like a small origami crane not wanting to be crushed.

For the first time in two weeks, he feels harbored and safe, his lighthouse is in front of him again. He’ll do anything to fix this shipwreck.

#ashton irwin #ashton irwin imagines #ashton irwin fic #ashton irwin 5sos #ashton one shot #ashton irwin one shot #ashton 5sos #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford

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heroes-trash · 4 years ago

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visual recap of 1x05 - Hiros

name origin: obviously, a play on Hiro’s name (and yk... the fact that technically, there’s two of him in this ep), but also marking the point where it stops being just Isaac trying to save New York the world

plot points, as seen in this recap:

future!Hiro stops the subway Peter and Mohinder are travelling on to deliver a message to Peter: Save the cheerleader, save the world! (and go back to the painter’s loft and tell me where we meet, please)

Mohinder doesn’t believe Peter and isn’t willing to give the whole thing even one more try, so Peter goes back to Isaac’s alone - seeing paintings of ‘the cheerleader’ (Claire!) for the first time, and fitting some together like a comic book page

when Isaac confesses his can’t finish his latest picture because he ran out of money and therefore, out of drugs, Peter works up the confidence to try and copy his ability (as he knows he’s done before, if only in stickfigure form) - and indeed, finishes it

Noah and René go in to capture Nathan for analysis, right out of his hotel room bed where he lay next to Niki|Jessica - but he fights himself free and for some reason, René can’t stop him flying away [i keep theorizing that his ability doesn’t work on synthed evos, but who knows]

Ando doesn’t want to acompany Hiro on his quest anymore, and goes to seek out Niki instead as Hiro stays in a small roadside café, utterly dejected - until he sees a ‘flying man’ (Nathan) land next to it, and charm himself to a coffee, a t-shirt and a phonecall. Hiro tries to connect to him but Nathan just seems upset that people won’t let him forget about the power he doesn’t want... until Hiro reveals that he’ll win the election in a landslide, and Nathan (although probably still highly sceptical) takes him back into town upon his request

back at the hotel later, Nathan runs into Niki once more, and accuses her of having something to do with the kidnapping attempt - she however has zero memories of the night (even after having been shown the tape), and just confesses to him how guilty she feels about what she did; warning him about the blackmail. he seems quite enamored with and supportive of her at first, but at that revelation, turns utterly cold and quickly walks away to at least negotiate a higher sum for himself out of Linderman’s schemes (4 instead of 2 million)

Matt uses his power to reconcile with Janice by catering to her every thought, wish and whim - she’s utterly delighted, and Matt even accomplishes another good deed by talking a robber out of his plans on a post-sex ice cream run (the people around him are less happy and more sceptical / scared of him, but don’t give him much trouble after he reveals himself as a cop)

Claire, waking up in hospital to her very worried parents, finally confesses what happened to Noah (well, the attempted rape part) - she makes him promise he won’t tell anyone (she’s still terrified that it will all turn against her because of her lack of proof), but he finds that easy to promise as he just takes René to Brody’s room and makes him wipe the boy’s mind utterly clean

Ando arrives at Niki’s house, but finds himself immediately surrounded by policemen (they are looking for D.L., who escaped prison), and Niki tells him to let his idea of her go, her online persona is not real. so he does, and goes back to Hiro... to, well, not quite apologize, but make up and get back on track of his mission, helping him to call Isaac ‘one more time’

#heroes episode recaps #nbc heroes #primatech

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bytheangell · 5 years ago

Text

Drop Your Guard

(Read on AO3) (Flufftober Day 14: Roommates)

When Alec needs help covering rent and Clary offers her friend Simon up as a potential roommate, Alec has his doubts.

“I just don’t think rooming with your ex is a good idea,” Alec says.

Clary gives an eye-roll fit to rival Alec’s usual specialty facial expression. “Stop calling Simon my ‘ex’ when you know we’re best friends. And you’ve met him a few times! You liked him!”

“I absolutely did not,” Alec insists. But he also didn’t totally hate the guy, and outside of his siblings Alec’s friend list is pretty short and the idea of resorting to a random craigslist ad to split the rent isn’t ideal, either. “Fine. But if we hate each other and I kick him out and it ruins your friendship forever, you can’t blame me.”

“I absolutely can,” Clary counters, mimicking his own dramatic phrasing a moment before with a slight smirk. “But it won’t. I have a good feeling about this.”

---

A few days later Simon Lewis is dragging a guitar case and a duffle bag into Alec’s - no, their - apartment.

“I have a good feeling about this,” Simon says, and Alec takes a deep breath over the sense of deja vu that declaration gives him.

“Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Alec agrees, which isn’t quite the same as having a ‘good’ feeling, but it’s close enough.

And it was fine… for approximately 45 minutes.

And then Simon found out Alec had never seen Star Wars.

It took all of 5 seconds before Simon had a DVD in his hand, making his way over to the television.

“What are you doing?” Alec asks.

“We’re going to watch it. Well, the first one, at least. There are the three originals, and then then three-”

“Let me stop you right there. One, I have plans today. And two, I don’t want to watch one of those ridiculous movies, let alone six -” “It’s actually nine once we get to the new-”

“You’re not helping your case,” Alec informs him. “I’m sorry. I just have zero interest in them. Or comic book things, before you get on me about those,” Alec adds for good measure, to avoid this turning into a second conversation later.

He’s already grabbing his keys and his jacket, heading towards the door before Simon can try and convince him to say.

“Fine. You win for now, but it’s only a matter of time. You’ll see!”

Alec isn’t sure if that’s meant to sound like a promise or a threat, or maybe a little bit of both, but he just shakes his head as the door closes behind him.

---

Over the next few months Simon tries again and again to get Alec to sit down with him in the living room and watch movies. When that fails Simon resorts to having either Star Wars or some superhero movie or another on the television in the living room at any given moment. Alec catches bits and pieces in passing, and after a while stops actively avoiding the living room and starts pausing for a few minutes here or there if something catches his eye, or sitting down for parts of a movie here and there when he’s bored. Hilariously enough (to Alec, certainly not to Simon), Simon seems even more upset when Alec only catches a middle or, heaven forbid, the ending of something, rather than the entire movie.

When Simon realizes that Alec just isn’t the sort of person to sit and watch a movie on a whim, even if it’s a movie he does care about, Simon switches up his tactics and starts leaving comic books strategically around the apartment. Alec knows what Simon’s doing, and for a while he refuses to so much as touch one. But one day while Simon isn’t around his curiosity gets the better of him and he picks up the Captain America comic Simon left on the kitchen counter while he’s waiting for the timer on the oven to go off. It isn’t that bad, even if it isn’t what he’d normally pick up to read, and he finds himself making a mental note of his ending spot when the oven beeps and he puts it down to eat.

When he finishes that one he has a very serious internal debate over what to do next, stubbornly not wanting to give Simon the satisfaction of knowing he was successful, but also suddenly desperately wanting to know what happens next in the storyline he stopped in the middle of. Thankfully the second volume is one Simon leaves in the living room next. The third one, however, he has to sneak out of Simon’s collection, careful to return it back into the sleeve without any sign it’d ever been removed.

He lingers a little longer during the movies after that - especially ones with War Machine, because of a single clip of him having more common sense than everyone else in the entire ensemble cast put together. If Simon notices he doesn’t say anything, and Alec doesn’t realize how convenient it is that the same Iron Man movie seems to play more often for him to catch all of over the course of a few days.

...Alec sneaks one onto his computer to watch the second with headphones on, putting it back on the DVD rack before Simon gets home. He multitasks it with a few other things, but he mostly watches it from start to finish, and realizes the flaw in his plan to keep his new obsession a secret from Simon: he wants to talk about it with someone.

Alec manages to not say anything for two more days until he’s passing through the living room to the kitchen and hears Simon say very loudly to Clary, “If only Captain America and War Machine weren’t so boring-”

Which prompts an instinctive, “It isn’t boring to be responsible and have a modicum of common sense in the face of Tony's brash--” from Alec before he stops short, realizing what he’s done by the smirk on both Simon and Clary’s face. “AHA!” Simon shouts, jumping over the sofa to rush to Alec’s side. “I knew you were the one putting those comics back out of place.”

“I put them back where I got them!” Alec insists.

“You put them in backwards . I have all the tops facing to the right of the box,” Simon says. Alec realizes he must’ve been in such a hurry to get in and out of the room without getting caught he might’ve overlook that particular detail when returning the comic to its sleeve.

“You know, it’s okay to like things, Alec. I dare say, it’s very American of you to cave to a few social norms.”

“Please stop,” Alec pleads. “I'll stop on one condition: you join Clary and me for Iron Man 3 tonight,” Simon says.

Alec hesitates, sure he can come up with a million excuses if he wants to, but finds himself nodding instead. Now that he's dropped his guard he isn't particularly eager to put it back up. “Alright, I’m in.”

Maybe this whole roommate thing might be good for him after all.

#simon lewis #alec lightwood #clary fray #shadowhunters #my favorite brotp #i just want simon and alec to be friends okay #elle writes a few deadbeat lines #i swear i'm done with the MOnday fic spam fjdskljflks;ajfsa

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botslayer · 5 years ago

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The questions raised in MK11′s story mode:

So here's everything as it came up in order, in my mind just as I was thinking of things, SUPER heavy spoilers ahead, I just want the fan consensus, please help a confused fan get his bearings, why does everyone praise this story mode when I'm just seeing more holes than a cheese grater? 1. If Gods are immune to Kronika's time tampering, How does she stop Shinnok's blood, which was still pouring from his neck, from flowing on that table? I know this one may be a bit nitpicky but that's just a little one that sticks out and is very visually present. 2. Where do the Kollector's people come from? Probably Outworld but pulling yet another species from thin air for that realm is kinda cheap, okay? 3. Why does everyone from the past look so different from how they did in MK9? It's like jarringly different, especially when Kung Lao JUST supposedly beat down the deadly alliance, something that is only established to happen in the reboot timeline. So what happened there? (Other cosmetic changes would take too long to point out individually, so I won't.) 4. Follow up, there must be a pretty big time gap for Johnny, Sonya, and Jax, because Jax has his mech arms but in the MK2 ark of MK9, he had to be rushed out of Outworld because Ermac blew his real arms off. 5. Follow up 2, why does Jax seem to have deaged? In MK9 he looked to be about thirty+ Whereas here he looks like a really big Twenty-something, his arms are even different. So what happened there? 6. Why does Dark Raiden vanish? The game throws out the explanation that "Immortals" operate on a different timescale, more or less, but if he's unaffected by other time distortions, how was he pulled forward in the first place? 7. Why aren't more people from either side, including Smoke, Quan Chi, Shang Tsung, Reptile, Ermac, Goro, Mileena, and Kintaro, ALL OF WHOM (Save for Smoke) are Loyal to Shao Kahn, not also summoned into the arena? And "She can only summon people who are still alive" isn't a workable answer because of Baraka, Skarlet and Shao Kahn himself. She later says that she's finding people not happy with the course of history, but I doubt two of the most ambitious characters in the series (The Deadly alliance) would be all that happy about being dead. Nor, I'd wager, would Kintaro or Goro, form the prideful warrior race of dragon people? 8. Why is future Erron Black completely mute? Yeah. In every scene he's in (a few different ones in the coliseum) he never says anything but past Erron has loads of dialogue. 9. How does Raiden know about there being other Temporal nonsense going on elsewhere in not just the realm he's in, but Earthrealm? I know he's Earthrealm's protector but how in the high heaven does he know? 10.As a Little one: How is it that past Johnny is sitting on the other side of the room looking at his nails and then is immediately walking by Sonya and Jax with future Johnny? She was looking in kind of the same direction but how quickly did this guy get up to pull that off? 11.Raiden says he's been getting the premonitions for "MONTHS" But MK9 established pretty roundly that he only got them night one of the 10th tournament. Now, by the time of the MK2 ark in MK9, no more than a week or two could have passed, at least as presented, so how does that make any sense? (I will elaborate if asked but this is already long enough) 12. Why does past Jade have an English accent and why does Revenant Jade not? (Other voice inconsistencies from within this trilogy would take to long to point out, so again, this is just persistent for all of them.) 13. The Cyber Lin Kuei (Who I will call "Tekunin" from here on out because I just like that better) are still a thing, Kronika pulled Sektor into the present too, I can buy that. But why not also try and recruit another realm like Seido? Imagine having Hotaru and the help of his forces. It'd make for some cool scenes, especially at the end when all the Oni are fighting Raiden's army, it'd make things a lot more chaotic, which would look cooler. Why not Chaos realmers? Zaterrans? Vampires? Centaurs? Kytinn? She brought the Tarkatans back completely so how hard would any of these other virtually extinct armies be harder to bring back and sway to her side in comparison? What about the Red Dragon? 14. Raiden apparently knows some of the history of this altered timeline which just makes me wonder how much he could realistically be briefed on, especially when he reacts with shock when he finds out that Sub-zero is friends with Hanzo Hasashi. And yes, the Cyber Initiative was a thing in MK9 but Sektor wasn't the grandmaster when that was going on or when Raiden and co were pulled from time. So what does he know and not know? And why did no one think "That crazy fire ninja is on our side" Was worthwhile info? 15. Why isn't Noob just the past one? He straight up says that he survived the soulnado, not that he's a different version. He never showed up live in the comics so it makes zero sense for him to have full stop survived. 16. How does ripping out two bundles of wire "Reformat" anything? 17. Future Kano references the idea of the Black Dragon being on top of "Not just the black market, Every market." What does that even mean? Is there gonna be a black dragon funded super corporation? That'd be cool, TBH. Shame that's never elaborated on. 18. When Kronika freezes time, is it only local? Or does it hit an entire Realm? Because in the scene where she's talking with Future Jax, and come to think of it, the one with Shinnok's head, What the hell is her bubble of influence? 19. Jade mentions Sheeva "Respecting Kitana's opinion more than anyone else's." Where, At all, in either timeline was that ever represented? Because up to now, if memory serves, their only real interactions were Sheeva telling Kitana to suck it up and die with honor in MK9. 20. What up with Jade's Retcon into being Kotal's girl? It's just kinda weird. 21. When and how did Revenant jade learn to control giant bugs? 22. What is Cetrion even the god of? Raiden, and later Kitana, mention she's a god of Virtue but why then is she able to control the Earth? "Elder god" Maybe but Raiden in the OG timeline got that title at the end of MK 4, then stepped down and he was no more powerful for it but that seems to be what happened with Cetrion, IDK. 23. How far back did Kronika have to pull Past Kano and Kabal from? Because Kabal is still apparently working for the black dragon, whatever age she got him from, but he still has his post-burn super speed. 24. What was the point of blowing Sektor up other than to just lose a major power player for your own side? 25. (Ultimate nitpick on this one) Why is Skarlet and one line from Baraka speaking Tarkatan the only ones that get subtitles? Why not just either A. Say it in English, which they seem to understand enough of, or B. Just not add these translations if they aren't translating the rest of the Tarkatan speech we see? What is the point? "So we understand it." I think you're underestimating people's ability to get the concept of "They said a thing, they did a thing, that must be what was said." 26. In the fight with the Tarkatans, How did Liu Kang and Kung Lao have the time to change back into monk clothes? Where was Kung Lao keeping his hat? 27. What the hell was Shao's last name? at a time "Kahn" was probably just the answer until it became retconned to mean "Emperor of Outworld." But what was his full name? I'm honestly curious, less of a nitpick, more of a "Hm." 28. Why does Future Kano feel a hit to the gut? I understand Johnny's Scar in one way or another, but a hit to the gut, painful as it is, especially when he's showing no sign of feeling any of Past Kano's minor injuries, shouldn't feel like anything after 25ish years. 29. Why does Future Kano have a delayed reaction to "Death by Missing hunk of brain?" The wound instantly manifests but he stands and seems to try to talk for a few seconds before collapsing into sand. Wouldn't it make more sense for him to rot into nothing really fast? Then again, Time travel is always a nightmare in any media that attempts to talk about it. 30. How does Revenant Kabal mistake Past Jax for Future Jax? 31. When Scorpion saves Hanzo, why didn't he just split D'vorah's skull with one strike? Two in a pinch? If he's putting enough force behind it to cut her stabby limbs off, or just generally be a useful assassin, why not just go for the neck even? (This one was answered on a reddit post I made, so whatever) 32. Why doesn't Scorpion just surrender when he goes to the Fire Gardens? Wouldn't it be best to just sit down inoffensively and wait for people to show up? Even if Sub-Zero wants to fight, he could just put his hands up and start disarming himself, Not beat the Holy Snot out of Sub-Zero. 33. If Kronika can just appear out of thin air, freeze all the humans in a given location, and pluck one from the ground, why not just use one of her minions like Geras or Cetrion to help kill them all while they're frozen? 34. Kronika mentions "Playing out all possible Scenarios." How many resets have you done, lady? Millions, I'd wager. How has your utter defeat not come up at least one other time? 35. Where are revenant Nightwolf, Sindel, Smoke, and Stryker during all of this? I find it deathly strange that Kronika couldn't find a use for FOUR undead super warriors. At least three and a bloke with military and police backgrounds that make things like strategy a bit easier, probably. 36.Kronika just MAKES a massive battleship or two, so what was the point of Cetrion building the bridge or asking Kharon to help in the first place? Just make a boat. Barring that, D'vorah mentioned that all she had to do was render Kharon unable to help Raiden's forces during Kharon's introduction. Why not just kidnap him, load him onto a boat, tie him to an anchor, and then just drop him in the blood sea? Rather than this "Slowly torture" BS. 37. How does Future Jax yeet himself onto the upper deck of one of the ferries? 38. Frost says that Raiden "Ignored her, her entire life." Since when is she the Tsundere of the MK universe? Or more seriously: Is this a line that only makes sense when you read the comics? 39. Why would the Tekunin be rigged to Frost's brainwaves? One good conk upside the noggin, or stab, shot, what have you, and what? Do they all drop dead? 40. Why does Past Kang live through having his own soul stolen, something that is always instantly fatal throughout the series? 41. How does Revenant Liu Kang yeet himself off a small boat and onto one of the ferries full stop?

And that's everything, any answers are appreciated. Am I being nitpicky with a few of these? Probably, Do I care? Not so much. I’m just getting sick of people praising this story when THIS MANY holes are present.

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morfinwen · 5 years ago

Note

For the OC ask: Aidan, Niner, Q, Ian, and Lauren, if you please. :)

Full Name: Ian Alan Grayson

Gender and Sexuality: Male, straight

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: White, human.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Undetermined date, somewhere in Tennessee.

Guilty Pleasures: Twinkies.

Phobias: He’s not afraid, exactly, but deep or fast-moving water sometimes sets off a “what if I tripped or something grabbed me” hypothetical scenario in his head. Swimming pools are fine, shallow streams are cool, lakes are usually okay, but oceans or any river that goes deeper than his waist can worry him.

What They Would Be Famous For: He hopes to be reasonably well-known as a musician someday. His inability to sing well is a bit of an obstacle, he’ll admit, but he’s got ideas for an instrumental guitar album of original songs he’s working on.

What They Would Be Arrested For: There’s been a couple times where he’s driven into a restricted area by accident. So far, it’s never been anywhere serious enough to get him in actual trouble, but it’s a concern Lauren has expressed on multiple occasions.

OC You Ship Them With: No one at present.

OC Most Likely to Murder Them: None of them, though Lauren has threatened to once or twice.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Ian likes really old classics and comic books -- big epics with larger-than-life characters. He also likes sci-fi or fantasy drama shows.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: It was all just a dream.

Talents and/or Powers: Music, particularly guitar. Getting lost. Annoying people who are rude or hurtful to others.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Easy-going, funny, a great listener, supportive but won’t take any bull, and willing to step in when someone needs help or someone else is being awful and needs to stop.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: If you deliberately hurt someone, especially one of Ian’s friends, he is very, very good at being obnoxious.

How They Change: Haven’t gotten there yet.

Why You Love Them: At its zenith, Ian’s story had maybe four paragraphs in it, but he has become such a distinctive character anyway.

Full Name: Lauren Eleanor Winston

Gender and Sexuality: Female, straight

Pronouns: She/her

Ethnicity/Species: White, human.

Birthplace and Birthdate: Undetermined, somewhere in Tennessee.

Guilty Pleasures: Cigarettes. It’s not precisely a pleasure, but every time she coughs or sees an anti-smoking ad, she definitely feels guilty.

Phobias: Chasing away everyone and ending up alone.

What They Would Be Famous For: Like Ian, she hopes to be a famous musician someday. She’d rather get into the classical music scene than bluegrass, but for now, it’s what she’s got.

What They Would Be Arrested For: Nothing serious. When she blows up at people, it cools down relatively quick, and she’s got enough of a grip on it that she would never hit someone or throw something dangerous at them.

OC You Ship Them With: No one at present.

OC Most Likely to Murder Them: She’s certainly aggravated more people than Ian has, but not to the point of murder.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: She doesn’t read a lot, and when she does, it’s usually something she read and liked as a child, so technically Children’s.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: If you kill this one person, you are as bad as the mass-murdering villain/the villain says “You and I aren’t so different after all” and the hero admits they’re right

Talents and/or Powers: Music, particularly piano. Strategy games. She can also write nice poetry, but she doesn’t see the value in it yet.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Lauren has an instinctive sensitivity to justice, and will get just as angry on someone else’s behalf as her own if she believes an injustice has been committed. She doesn’t let disapproval or confrontation stop her.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: She is not an easy person to get along with, and can take things too personally.

How They Change: Not certain yet.

Why You Love Them: Same as Ian.

Full Name: Niner

Gender and Sexuality: Female, whatever.

Pronouns: She/her, “hey you”

Ethnicity/Species: Werecat

Birthplace and Birthdate: Birthdate, sometime in the summer, twenty-odd years ago. Birthplace … dunno. South of where she lives now. Probably east, too.

Guilty Pleasures: Hot, melted cheese. Batting around a ball of yarn. Snuggling up with Connie in cat-form (he’s so warm).

Phobias: Not a fan of being wet, or thunderstorms. On a deeper level, getting trapped or otherwise losing her independence.

What They Would Be Famous For: Nothing, really. She has no particular talents or skills that lend themselves to fame, and she would actively avoid fame if she did.

What They Would Be Arrested For: To be arrested, she would first have to be caught doing it, and then actually caught. Both of which would be very difficult to do.

OC You Ship Them With: No one at present

OC Most Likely to Murder Them: She and Aidan … have issues sometimes.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Not much of a reader or movie-watcher.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: The occasional TV show or movie has caught her interest for a little while, and none of them lose it faster than those where a character changes themselves for the approval of others. Even if the story ultimately has the moral that you shouldn’t do that, Niner will never know, because she won’t be watching anymore.

Talents and/or Powers: She can turn into a cat. As far as Niner is concerned, she doesn’t need anything else.

Why Someone Might Love Them: Niner has her own ideas of who she is, and takes zero input on who she is supposed to be.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Niner has her own ideas of who she is, and takes zero input on who she is supposed to be.

How They Change: Not sure yet.

Why You Love Them: I don’t think any of my other OCs are quite so determinedly independent.

Full Name: Quincy Odell Free

Gender and Sexuality: Male, straight

Pronouns: He/him

Ethnicity/Species: White (English), human

Birthplace and Birthdate: Somewhere in England, July 3, 1989.

Guilty Pleasures: There aren’t many things he enjoys he would admit to -- less because they’re guilty pleasures he’s embarrassed about, and more because he is very cautious about opening up to people. That said, there is an animated kids show he really liked that he has episodes of saved on his computer that he will never, ever tell anyone about.

Phobias: Both afraid of being known and manipulated through it, and living his entire life without ever forming a real connection.

What They Would Be Famous For: If he wanted, he could suck up enough to his aunt and uncle to get named the heir to their hundreds of millions of dollars worth of real estate, businesses, corporations, foundations, etc.

What They Would Be Arrested For: Nothing terribly dramatic, and once it happened his aunt and uncle would most likely cover it up or sweep it under the rug as soon as possible.

OC You Ship Them With: No one at present

OC Most Likely to Murder Them: They would never dirty their hands by actually doing it themselves, but if Q was stupid enough to cross his aunt and uncle, there could definitely be an … accident … in his future.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Fantasy or adventure stories, the more exciting and epic the better, and with happy endings.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Evil twins/evil mentors/bad guys disguised as good guys in general. He has nothing against morally gray characters or believable development from hero to villain or villain to hero, but most of the time the “this guy was evil all along!/the characters are fooled by the villain!” tropes feel like cheating for manufactured drama.

Talents and/or Powers: He’s picked up a lot of odd knowledge and abilities from his education and time spent with his family, most notably an excellent poker face, understanding of human body language, and generally able to persuade people to do what he wants them to -- not that he uses it often.

Why Someone Might Love Them: He’s got that “confused everyman in weird circumstances” thing going on that a lot of people seem to like. If you really got to know him, underneath his bland, indifferent attitude, he’s incredibly loyal.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: Q doesn’t really make enough of an impression on most people to be worth hating.

How They Change: Basically, learns that not everyone is like his aunt and uncle: learns to open up more, accept help, and connect emotionally with other people.

Why You Love Them: He’s got an interesting background that’s shaped him in interesting ways, and he manages to be an everyman compared to his roommates while being an outlier for the rest of humanity.

Thanks for asking!

#ask #answer #OCs #ian grayson #lauren winston #niner #q free #valiantarcher

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iamvoid0 · 2 years ago

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Nintendo Releases a new Switch Variant, and offers Switch Replacement with a new service, God of War gets a release date, Terminator & RoboCop get new games, and Monster Hunter Rise sells 10 million units!

This week was a huge week for Nintendo, as they brought back the Wii channel, released new Switch variations, makes good with a new subscription repair and replacement service, God Of War gets a release date, Terminator & RoboCop comes from left field as they get new games announced. For spoken has been delayed once again, and Monster Hunter Rise sells 10 million units!

Hey thanks for reading, if there is a game, or just something more in the games space you want me to cover, or report on, please let me know using this Google Form. Thank you.

🕹️ The Console War Rages On

Nintendo now offers up to two Switch Unit replacements! — Nintendo has introduced WideCare, a new subscription service, which will allow users to send in their Nintendo Switch for repairs to Nintendo. This also covers user errors, such as cracked screens and water damage. You can use this service up to 6 times per year, or up to two Switch Units replacements. The service is currently only offered in Japan, for ~2,000 YEN per year. This equates to around $15 USD. This might be a trial run for an international service still yet to come. Right now, Japanese Switch owners will get much better support for their devices, as this now clearly shows that the Nintendo Switch will be sticking around for a lot longer. (Source)

God Of War: Ragnarok gets a release date — A new cinematic trailer has unveiled the release date for God Of War: Ragnarok for 9th November 2022. A collector’s edition will also be released alongside it. (Source, Collectors Edition)

Nintendo has brought the Wii Shop back online — Twitter user @OatmealDome has discovered that Nintendo has brought back up the servers for the Wii. The service originally went down on March 16th. (Source)

Switch OLED gets a new Splatoon 3 model — Ahead of the Splatoon 3 release, Nintendo has unveiled an array of new hardware themed in Splatoon. The dock, the joycons, and the Switch unit itself, all have a unique colour and pattern that matches the Splatoon game. They also released a new Nintendo Pro Controller which features the game’s primary colours. (Source 1, Source 2)

Monster Hunter Rise: Sunbreak has sold 10 million units — Capcom announced that Monster Hunter Rise has officially sold over 10 million units — with two million of those units being the Sunbreak expansion that was released on the 30th Of June, 2022. (Source)

Forspoken has been delayed into 2023 — Square Enix and Luminous Productions have stated that after speaking with their ‘key partners’ the decision to move the game into the 24th of January 2023 was made. They further clarified that all game elements were complete and the game is in its final polishing state. (Source)

RoboCop: Rouge City has been unveiled — RoboCop: Rogue City will be coming to PC, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X|S and Nintendo Switch in June 2023. The game was announced by Nacon at their Nacon Connect event. (Source)

Untitled Terminator game also in the works — Nacon also showed off footage from their yet-to-be-titled Terminator game. (Source)

E3 will partner with ReedPop to bring E3 2023 — ReedPop, who has previous organized PAX, New York Comic-Con, Star Wars Celebration and more, will be working with ESA in order to create a new E3 experience currently set to return in 2023. (Source)

✨ Going to Events Spiritually

Nintendo adds four new SEGA Genesis games to their Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion pack tier. Comix Zone, Target Earth, Zero Wing, and Megaman: The Willy Wars. (Source)

🎮 Where’s My Controller?

No games this week for me.

🎵 Turn it up to 11!

A stunningly beautiful rendition of the amazing and breathtaking “To Zanarkland” from the Final Fantasy series. I actually own Distant Worlds I & II, though I have no idea where they are, here is the track on YouTube. (Source)

📝I don’t know what a pen looks like.

Haven’t done much this week.

💖 Enjoying this?

Forward to a friend and let them know where they can subscribe (hint: it’s here).

If you have enjoyed this content, and this content adds value to your every day, please support the newsletter via our Patreon. This will help immensely, and I would be grateful for your continued support.

#video games #news #newsletter #e3 #reedpop #pax #comic con #esa #star wars #nintendo #sega #megaman #final fantasy #forspoken #robocop #terminator #monster hunter #switch #splatoon #wii

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years ago

Text

HERE'S WHAT I JUST REALIZED ABOUT PROBLEMS

And that's what you need to in order to do well on tests. They're impressed by students who get good grades or want to be the early and middle ones of your career. The test applied to a startup is. But if you find yourself in the computer science department, there is not currently any space in the business of marking up paper. Topic sentence, introductory paragraph, supporting paragraphs, conclusion. But that doesn't sound right either. And of course there's another kind of thinking, when you're starting something new, that requires your complete attention. Focus on the ones that would have been capable, yet amenable to authority. I tend to use my inbox as a todo list. Com, where you irritate one extremity and the whole thing contracts violently. We didn't draw any conclusions.

If accelerating variation in productivity. But surely a necessary, if not wasting their time, at least in the US, at least. It could be anywhere—in Los Alamos, New Mexico, for example, instead of sitting becalmed praying for a business model, like the proverbial drunk who looks for his keys under the lamppost, instead of chugging along maintaining and updating an existing piece of software. A new class of visa for startup founders. Unfortunately, most companies won't let hackers do what they want. The student was stealing his smells! Whatever it meant, the web wins net. It's not a good idea. Your contribution may be indirect. You should only write about the very richest, and these tend to be smart, so the marginal cost of one random new user approaches zero.

With time, as cool as painting now, we should remember that painting itself didn't seem very grassroots. I give ends up being given from a manuscript full of things crossed out and rewritten. But consulting is far from free money. At the bottom you'll find the subjects with least intellectual content. And for the same reason: their performance can be measured, or there would never be any experienced ones. This is especially necessary with links whose titles are rallying cries, because otherwise they become implicit vote up if you believe such-and-such posts, which are among the most pleasing of foods, were all originally intended as methods of preservation. If they're real problems, fix them. Writing was one of the founders. What it means is to know what's what.

Economic inequality is sufficiently far from identical with the various problems that have it as a single phenomenon. We could not have bootstrapped Viaweb, for example. The notebook and pen are professional equipment, as it were. They feel as if they're doing something completely unrelated. At its best, it's creating the spec—though it turns out, humans are not created by God in his own image; they're just one species among many, descended not merely from apes, but from microorganisms. I can remember believing, as a way to get in. You're trying to solve problems. They're going to walk up to the software with no preparation, and it surfaces in situations like this. Nearly all of it. The meeting between Larry Page and Sergey Brin was a good idea to spend some time thinking about it than most, because we were so desperate for users that we'd offer to build merchants' sites for them if they'd sign up. This sort of thing to be interested in painting.

If you plan to get rich. Raising money always takes longer than you expect. What happened? I don't think you need much more than high school math plus a few concepts from the theory of computation. They're good at doing what they're asked, since that's what it takes to hear it. After that we became comically eager to sell. It's what makes competitors unhappy. Or maybe the movie business can avoid becoming publishers, they may avoid publishing's problems. Superficially it's a lot like making software. No, it turns out, humans are not created by God in his own image; they're just one species among many, descended not merely from apes, but from microorganisms. You can't say precisely what the miracle will be, or even whether it still sends one.

Raising money is the second hardest part of starting a startup were easy, everyone would do it. Eliminating great variations in wealth, but might even exacerbate them. What they go by is the number of startup people around you are professors. Even the startups are different this time around. Microsoft themselves did this at the start. That word balance is a significant one. The bully can probably run downstairs as fast as possible. Obviously you can't prove this in the wild. Their hand-made objects become store-bought ones. Those characters you type are a complete, finished product.

In America only a few decades before. And expect to encounter ferocious opposition if you do. I say um a lot. I moved to New York, Cambridge, and Silicon Valley is not even that. By giving him something he wants in return. The only way to read them. It seemed that it was very remiss of me to have forgotten all that stuff within three weeks of the final exam.

And someone with a PhD in computer science. You have to be learned, and are sometimes fairly counterintuitive. When Yahoo bought Viaweb, they asked me what I wanted. 0 turned out to be equivalent, because each drives you to do something trivially easy. In fact, of all the different types of investors vary from five thousand dollars to fifty million, but the source code too. He bought a suit. And the people you work with had better be good, because it's their work that yours is going to make when someone pops it by offering a free web-based alternative to MS Office. People will pay for content anymore. Between these two sources of variation, the college someone went to doesn't mean a lot.

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aeori-o · 7 years ago

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Goodbye 2017!

Another year another...!!! I don’t even know. This is just my yearly round-up of the things I Did Do that I try to track, for those of you who are new here. It’s mostly for me, but I post it because who knows who will find it interesting.

As per the usual, I’m going to start with my reading:

215 recorded hours reading this year! I’m really happy with that amount, and I know I read more than what I actually recorded (reading at work I don’t track, and I didn’t track how much I read while @auyamx was visiting but I got through two books while they were here, that’s at the end of November there). I’ve been using the library more and just discovered the magic of holding books (like, seriously, I discovered this a few weeks ago). I still have a massive stack of books to get through, that I own, some gifted, most I bought myself, some inherited from my dad. I’ll get there. I think I’d feel strangely empty if I didn’t have a collection of unread books hanging around. At the same time: My collection of unread books should not be as large as it is.

I think part of why I’m so pleased with the amount I’ve read this year is because I’ve read some really good books this year. I’ve read some pretty bad ones, too, but the good-to-excellent books exceeded the bad this year and that always makes a person feel better about reading. Here’s some examples of books I enjoyed this year:

A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, and A Conjuring of Light, by V.E. Schwab

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness, by Kabi Nagata

Within the Sanctuary of Wings, by Marie Brennan

The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas

The Song of Achilles, by Madeline Miller

Goldenhand, by Garth Nix

Vicious, also by V.E. Schwab

Warrior, and Witch, also by Marie Brennan

Anyway, I surpassed my original goal of reading 30 books this year, and boosted it several times before hitting my final goal of 55:

And, again, if you have a goodreads account (add me) but also your year in books is still fun and neat:

And for years I’ve been tracking my books myself through notepad (as wonderful as goodreads is, it requires internet to access, and doesn’t have the best UI for my purposes) and since I’ve been using excel more (in tabletop pursuits) it occurred to me that I could set it up to count things for me. So That’s exactly what I did:

(I know it says I read 54 books in 2017 while goodreads says 56, this is due to my not counting two comics in my own records that do count on goodreads, I still do that bizarre thing of not counting comics for some reason. Comics are just as readable and reading-worthy as books but for some reason my brain doesn’t like them to be catergorized together. Maybe I should make another section for that. We’ll see.)

Overall: Good year for me with reading.

Not so much with writing or drawing.

I mention this every single year, and have yet to find a solution to it: I am terrible at tracking writing and drawing. Part of it is it’s hard to quantify. Reading is a pretty static activity. If I read for an hour I’m guaranteed to get somewhere in a book (unless it’s a horrifically dense book), with writing and drawing I am not guaranteed to get anywhere in any amount of time so measuring the amount of time spent doing these things isn’t super helpful. So then I decided that if I did it at all, even if it was just a bunch of false starts, I’d mark it down. Then the problem becomes: I forget to mark it down.

And I’m 99% certain I forgot to mark a lot down on these calendars or on the more detailed lists I did for myself:

And I am still not sure what to do about this. Though it’s definitely an idea I like more than just the calendar, it’s nice to see in writing what all I did. I can look at the finished products but that doesn’t account for time sunk sketching and revamping and editing and so on. So even though I utterly failed to write down everything, it’s nice to see what I did write down. It’s almost kind of surprising to look at.

Though I do wonder if my forgetfulness would be less of an issue if I did these things more. I’ve been struggling to create lately. My last big surge for writing (and drawing) was anything involving my pathfinder character Ahkti. And we’re starting a new campaign with new characters soon, and I’m getting some energy to figure out things creatively for that, when it comes to my own things I just lack the drive or energy or focus.

When I feel I need to do things to satisfy a group effort or other people I do really well. I think this might have something to do with anxiety, honestly, and if that is the case I think it works in reverse for my own personal efforts. I get afraid to make things. I don’t really want to go into it here, now, but it’s something I need to figure out and work through. I just don’t know how.

I’ve also been trying to get into the habit of exercising, but I’m also bad at tracking that. Ideally I want it to be become of my daily routine. (I have a pretty ingrained wake-up and go-to-sleep routine where my day gets completely screwed up if I neglect anything, so I’m trying to introduce exercising into that.)

Anyway, this has been a wild year for me. There’s been good and bad. I moved, which was a big thing, but it went pretty fast (thankfully). I played Horizon Zero Dawn for the first time right after it came out, and I’m already replaying it (I love this game). I got a million more dice. I’m trying to figure out a homebrew for my own fantasy world thing (though issues with creating cited above are a hindrance on that front). Vin visited TWICE >:0 (and due to the first visit they got a PS4 and also got HZD), they saw the BIG BIG HILL.

There’s been good stuff.

I guess my ultimate goal going into 2018 is to keep up the reading, figure out exercising, and somehow overcome my crippling self-doubt to make things. I need to harness my 7th grade self who would just come home from school and bang out 20,000 word fanfiction chapters in a night. How do I harness that.

If you’re reading this I hope you can reach all your goals! Keep it simple, don’t make it something completely out of character for yourself!

#new year get better do better

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milquetoast-on-acid · 7 years ago

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Frozen Assets, A Reactionary Post

Dick Tracy and the case of the poisoned Maltese Falcon

Major Crimes, S3xE3: Episode Review

What this episode is about: My nayme is Louie Props to Props Homage to Film Noir's and Classic Television Money Bags Taylor Sharon is disappointed A Game of Charades Andy is fascinated by the frozen head Sharon Eternal Meadows Character Taglines: Mike Tao The Devoted Parent(s) Marcella Brewster & Falcon Rusty & Sharon Beck Sharon, Andy & Rusty Scenes full of Gold The Pope Meredith Winslow

My nayme is Louie

Time for the annual Flynn and Provenza comedy adventure and this time Captain Baird aka Dick Tracy is back. And another fun episode that's sprinkled with a ton of references to classic television and film noirs.

I get that they just went to breakfast but seriously Provenza. Picking your teeth in the car. "Captain Baird gives us orders we follow them. Even if we can't remember who he is at the moment." I love how Rusty is the voice of reason here. Both Provenza and Andy just go along with mysterious Captain Baird's orders.

"Unless you outrank me or I divorced you. My name is Lieutenant." And once again it's revealed that Provenza's mysterious first name is in fact Louie. And how much he despises it. I swear there was a time that Provenza said even his grand kids call him Lieutenant. He could have changed it but then again maybe Provenza is just to lazy for something like that.

"Flynn, I am ordering you. Not to let him talk to us." I love the absurdity of this line. GW's delivery and of course Andy who's learned not to do what Provenza says.

Dog in a doggy bag. Really Amy?

Even Mike's not having that.

Props to Props

You really have to give it to the set and props department in this episode. The Brewster estate is so vibrant and lively. They must have had tons of fun doing this episode. And if I were rich I'd have weird statues around my place, too. As soon as they step into the house the very first thing they show you is a bizarre portrait of Falcon the dog. Letting you know visually, right off the bat that the most important thing to Marcella Brewster was her dog.

The hilarity of the David’s wearing neon swim suits!

And can we talk about the murder board. There's a full map of the Brewster Estate, which notes where all of her bizarre statues are at. Such as the rows of Davids, the neon signs and various animals statues. And who and who isn't a victim.

Marcella Brewster’s head. Either that's one amazing prop head or it's a fantastic makeup job. Although Sharon, you really couldn't tell that was a wig? And yes that seems to be grandma hair from the 80's. Kind of like the flashiest Golden Girl.

Homage to Film Noir and Classic Television

Let me count the ways...I thought it might be fun to count all of the references to Television and Movies in this episode. Feel free to point any that I missed.

"Look it's Trigger." I never noticed this joke until this watch! Crazy. I admit that I had no idea who Trigger was. So I had to look him up. I originally thought Provenza meant that the ugly random horse was a trigger for him. I learned that Trigger was owned by Roy Rogers and featured in some of his films. I myself have only heard of Roy Rogers and haven't seen any of his films.

Dick Tracy We have Captain Baird aka Dick Tracy. Dick Tracy was originally a comic strip about a noirish detective in the 30's. Apparently there were a ton of serials and films. I myself have only seen the 1990 film. It's been years since I've seen it but I do recommend it. I remember it's bright color pallete and some of it's dark/noirish tone.

Maltese Falcon Marcella Brewster's dog. Who just happens to be a Maltese, which she named Falcon. And this is the joke that beaten to death in this episode. Even Provenza and Andy come to hating every time someone talks about Marcella's Maltese Falcon.

Arsenic and Old Lace "Arsenic. Well where's the old lace?" "Who uses arsenic in this day and age?" You took the words right out of my mouth. Probably someone who's obsessed with film noirs. haha. Andy later on answers this question by speculating that the killer might have used arsenic because Marcella Brewster was taking arsenic based drugs for her cancer. And that would have been a really good way to get away with murder. And of course they do until Falcon is killed.

Money Bags Taylor

Once again we have a Taylor here who is only concerned with...

If only he were to walk in dragging bags of money and having dollar sign glasses. And once again you have Robert Gossett who has some really wonderful delivery. Can we please talk about the absurdity of Andy and Provenza being in trouble for arresting a fake cop who poisoned a dog. Because fake cop's works for a dead woman who is giving the department millions of dollars.

All the while, Sharon is taking note of just how many offences and crimes Captain Baird has committed. And is getting more and more outraged by the minute. And all Taylor wants to do is excuse his behavior. What a turn from Pope. Can't say, I'm a fan of Pope because I'm not. I actually like Taylor more than Pope but seriously Pope was never this obsessed with money. What it boils down to, Flynn and Provenza are in trouble for doing their job. Verse Flynn and Provenza being in trouble for not doing their job when Pope was the assistant chief.

"Why did you unplug Marcella Brewster's head?" I'm sorry but the hilarity of this line.

Sharon is disappointed

Love this little moment of Sharon shaking her head at Andy and Provenza for bringing them this mess. While Andy shakes his head back at her in a 'i know i fucked up, please forgive me.' kind of way. Love how they do the same movement here and we get another Andy sad face. The infamous sad face that has apparently gotten him out of a lot of trouble.

A game of charades

Due to the confidentiality agreement, Baird can't answer a lot of their questions so they end up playing a guessing game. Which is fun but Baird never seemed to care very much about rules of any kind really. Props to Mary for this look. 90% I'm so fucking done with you + 10% i'm interested in what you are saying. Love the fist bump that Sharon gives Amy when they get a question right. Like their playing 20 questions.

Andy is fascinated by the frozen head Sharon

Or really he says he's fascinated by it. Kind of like a train wreak you can't look away. But that look on his face doesn't say that to me. Rather he seems to be more interested in watching Sharon than the head.

Eternal Meadows

"I get the part about where you chop off our heads and put them on ice. And we live forever." "15 million a year. For keeping her dead head in a can." Gotta love Andy's snark here. He's got zero time for cryogenics.

Character Tag line: Mike Tao

We get a Holy Crap from Mike. I think one day I'll try to count how many times Mike says "Holy Crap!" and Provenza says: "It's always the husband." or "Ye Gods"

The Devoted Parent(s)

Marcella Brewster & Falcon

Marcella really didn't have any family that she was close to. With the exception of Falcon her dog. Who she treated as her child, pampering him, feeding him gourmet foods, having his portrait done several times over and leaving the bulk of her fortune to him. She was really only devoted to him and even planned on coming back from the dead to be with him later on.

Rusty & Sharon B. "If you mother's going to stay sober. She's going to have to learn out to take care of herself." Rusty is so gung ho about helping his mother on her road to recovery that everyone can see he's taking on too much. And this is really when it starts to become apparent that Rusty is the parent in his relationship with Sharon B. He's the one who's always taking responsiblity when it comes to Sharon B. Here he is thanking both Andy and Provenza for taking his mom out for breakfast. And now pushing to get a job, not to help himself but to help his mother.

Sharon, Andy and Rusty I also love Andy's input here with addiction recovery. Since he's been on that road himself he's really the best person to answer. Not to mention that it's very much a family moment between the three of them. And kind of reminds me of the end of season 1.

When Sharon and Andy team up against Cynthia. While the two of them aren't against Rusty, they are both trying to persuade him to slow his roll a bit. To make him realize that he needs to be a little less hands on. And how him helping her in this way can actually hinder her recovery process. I really love how Rusty parenting his mother turns full circle with Sharon and Andy parenting Rusty.

Scenes full of Gold

The Pope This little conversation: "Don't forget that Captain Crazy Pants worked for a firm that was peddling eternal life." "So does the pope." "But the Catholic church is a religion. It's not a company and the pope doesn't play dress up. Alright well, not as a cop." Why is this so full of awesome...

and

The Pope dressed up as a cop! And lets not forget that Pope was also impersonated by Dick Tracy. So this is a nice little nod to his character as well.

and then they top it off with this...

that Provenza is reading an Eternal Meadows brochure while their having that conversation. Like he himself is thinking about freezing his own head.

Meredith Winslow I love how Sharon going undercover is a trope, called Bad Bad acting. Sharon is pretty terrible and Mary is a gift. And the best name Sharon can come up with is "The New Houses." and "The Wind-millers". That idiot should have seen right through her but he doesn't. The Wind-millers does sound better but really "The New Houses."

Let's talk about that accent of hers. Supposed to be richy rich but sounds kind of southern. It's so bad. That haughty laugh, what even is that?

And this little moment when Sharon tries to signal to Baird to leave the damn room but he's so angry he doesn't understand. And those clothes are so completely not Sharon's style. Pile on the jewelry with that HUGE necklace. It's flashy kind of like Marcella but in a different way.

What I don't like: Because this is a lighter episode, there aren't really any themes in here. Despite that there was a lot to talk about.

What I like: It's a fun lighter episode with tons of references to old films and television shows. I really do love MC's love of the classics and how they love to throw them into comedy episodes like this. Even some of the details of this case are similar to noir films. The poisoning of the victims and going undercover.

Not only did the props department have a ball with this episode but Mary did as well. Most of Mary's comedy on this show is Sharon's sarcasm so it's really nice to see her step outside of what we normally see from her. She's such a gifted actress and nails comedy just as well as drama. Sharon going undercover was really the highlight of this episode and just how terrible an actress she is. I only wish that scene was longer. Not to mention all of the wonderful reactions that Sharon has through out the episode.

#major crimes #sharon raydor #andy flynn #provenza #mike tao #mc season 3 a reactionary post #a reactionary post #dick tracy

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ghostmartyr · 7 years ago

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(SPOILERS for Justice League)

The nice thing about most of my problems with this movie is that I can still point back at Batman v Superman and blame it, because without the dangled plot threads of that, at least one awkward as hell scene wouldn’t have happened.

The other nice thing is that I just love Justice League to death, so regardless of quality I spent a good portion of the movie bouncing up and down.

Which led to me nearly accidentally choking, but not the point.

Less nice things include Bruce being an asshole for no other reason than that the script wanted to pretend it was giving Wonder Woman some kind of arc.

(It wasn’t, she was fine, how dare you bring shades of my ship into that mess, and now I get to whine about Fate Zero, too.)

Okay, so.

Brief background.

The only reason I ever ended up here, or in fandom at all, is thanks to fervently shipping Batman and Wonder Woman from the Justice League cartoon. I was in love with the show, and them, and there was Starcrossed, and I wanted fic. I’ve kept my moniker from that fandom experience in use for thirteen years.

That means I get twitchier than usual about how certain interactions are handled, and I kind of spent the entire scene Bruce was berating Diana wishing that Superman wasn’t dead just so no one would dream up that this was a thing that needed to happen.

I’m glad it was universally agreed that everyone would cover for Diana if she went with murdering him, but... writers, please. I want so badly to love your work, and you spend a lot of this movie not sucking at it, so why must you do these things.

Pure surface cringe, there’s enough shippy gaze that the framing utilizes that Bruce bringing up Steve at all just makes me want to hold my head in my hands and die, because as bad as talking about dead ex-boyfriends to get a rise out of your teammate is, it is a million times worse if you have to wonder if part of the reason the boyfriend is worth mentioning is that you want to draw attention to the romantic links of certain characters.

I don’t know if that’s something that would bother someone if they weren’t hyperly aware of anything that could possibly be taken in a shippy manner, but hi, me, so it was bothersome.

Less subjectively, Steve’s impact on Diana’s life is used to make a really stupid point about how Diana’s conducted herself.

The entire movie, Batman’s been awkwardly trying to make his dream team work.

Meanwhile, Diana has a natural chemistry that, as we see, makes the entire team totally chill with her murdering Batman. It isn’t forced, it’s just Diana being better with them, and performing admirably in every task she takes up.

Blindsiding all of that clear proficiency with the accusation that she’s been limiting herself because of dead boyfriend angst is. Well, it violates its own canon, for starters.

Diana comes into contact with all of the mess of the last movie because of things that happened in her personal life, but she rejoins the fight because there’s a fight to be had, and she can help. That is what she does.

Yeah, Bruce is being a complete asshole on purpose about all of it, but the problem with stories like this is that when people start throwing that kind of incendiary language, the implication is that it’s a hard truth that manners have been holding back.

Later the movie tries to do something a little more real with that base, letting Steve behave more as a representative than the actual issue, but.

Okay, let’s talk Fate Zero. I’m up too late to draw good lines explaining things, so let’s just get to an example I can summarize.

In Fate Zero, there is an episode where the three servants who claim the title king discuss what it means to be a king. They each have different views. Saber, whose perspective the series as a whole argues is no less worthy, is the one who gets a call-out speech about how her beliefs are childish, and not something a true king should believe in.

She is denied the last word on it.

Fate Zero ends with Saber feeling as if she’s failed her people because of everything she tried to be for them. The knight that exacerbates this feeling disagrees, echoing a lot of what the story shows, but she doesn’t get to hear that.

The viewpoint that is given the spotlight, even though showing disagrees with the telling, is the one that puts hers in a broken light.

That’s what Bruce baiting Diana feels like. It’s a lot of words that get more credit than they deserve, because the script doesn’t allow Diana to come back with her say from a point of strength.

Like I said, later they try to do something interesting with it. The idea that Diana fears the burden of leadership after watching so many die could have some real depth, especially because she is such a natural leader. The pain that your own calling brings you is what makes tragedies.

But it’s introduced with a heavily vitriolic tone halfway through the movie, and the Diana before that exchange would have made the same decisions that the Diana afterwards does. She has her hesitance about all of this, but she is willing, and she is engaged. Pretending like she isn’t for the sake of having a fake deep conversation about her conduct is patronizing.

And back on petty, I liked Bruce and Diana’s dynamic without all this stupidity.

I don’t need my least favorite (least favorite is actually all things involving Sakura, but never mind that for the moment) part of Fate Zero anywhere outside of Fate Zero.

I also did not need it in Fate Zero.

To be perfectly honest, a lot of the handling of Wonder Woman in this movie is... less than ideal. She does some amazing things, her smile might actually beam sunshine, and she’s wonderful, but certain choices for her are not, including some camera angles and outfits.

I’m guessing the rest of the internet will cover that.

Uh... yeah, I still don’t like this Superman.

I also get the vibe that they’ve left some of the cast severely underpowered to lift him up.

He can fly. You don’t need to do that.

(I’m just gonna leave this link here....)

Barry is wonderful, Barry and Bruce together are wonderful, Barry and Victor going grave robbing manages to be sweet, Victor and Diana are great, Aquaman’s a bit of a douche but he gets the best music cue in the whole movie so who cares, Batman keeps getting guns for some reason but he isn’t murdering humans...

Some of the shot composition is really weird. Poses that work in comic books don’t always... yeah. Also DC’s in love with slowmo and I am tired of it, and I don’t think my eyes could follow most of the action sequences that didn’t use it.

On the whole, this movie made me happy in a lot of ways. I really love Justice League. More of it is going to make me happy. The script was also willing to have some fun with things, and there were moments that were simply delightful.

It was way better than I feared.

Still not as good as this cast is capable of (well. Supes, I’m willing to let my faith in everyone else stand in for you), and I don’t like looking around for things to bash my head in with in a movie theater, so for the love of all things good try harder, but I feel like this verse is getting closer to the things that make the world and characters appealing.

I also feel my eyes shutting without my permission, so my contemplation of clicking ‘Post’ feels way riskier than usual, but oh well, this isn’t a real review, it’s babble because I GOT TO SEE JUSTICE LEAGUE MY LIFE IS AUTOMATICALLY MORE COMPLETE.

Yeah I’m going to bed.

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #Justice League #spoilers #dying by way of choking on starburst minis is not how I wanna go #so the night had that bullet dodged

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