#please please ease please

[tothestarsinvelaris]

Dorian "I'll bleed whatever color you tell me to" Havilliard

Dorian "he'd make her beg for the first time in her long life" Havilliard

Dorian "willing to let a little cruelty into the bedroom" Havilliard

Dorian "invisible fingers down her neck" Havilliard

Dorian "as tempting as seeing you naked and chained might be" Havilliard

Dorian "I don't think you can handle the sort of things I need, witchling" Havilliard

Dorian "I am never begging for anything again in my life" Havilliard

Dorian "I want to taste every inch of you." Havilliard

Dorian "magic gently pinning her wrists to the mattress" Havilliard

Dorian "I need to hear you say yes" Havilliard

Dorian "I suggest you listen" Havilliard

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[gamchawizzy]

Cluttered Mind.

I put it up on my INPRNT! inprnt(.)com/gallery/gamchawizzy/cluttered-mind/

[nev3rlaand]

i really like supernatural. issue: human artblock. solution: horse

[jellophoid]

RAMADAN MUBARAK 🎊🎊🎊

[miakwat]

Thinking about... filipino Kai/Cole forgetting to tell Kai he can speak tagalog

Translation: Cole: "I love you-" Kai: "WHAT?"

Commissions are open | Check out my Etsy

[vaggieslefteye]

HELLUVA BOSS (2020—): 2x08 - "The Full Moon" ↳ "Blitz, I think so very highly of you... I didn't realize you think so low of me. ...Goodbye, Blitz." "Stolas, wait! I'm s—!"

[sevenminiaturemonkeys]

i want to dunk them in water then put them in a blender and make them into a smoothie

(the quality got nuked sorry)

[cold-neon-ocean]

Another VashMeryl wip I’ve had in my pocket :)

[thornescratch]

Every time we get surprise!Braden Holtby at a Capitals development event, an angel gets its wings.

[ariineii]

The gaslight girlboss gatekeep alliance is so peculiar to me because for some unfathomable reason, after double life they all decided that each new season they need to speedrun their lastlife-doublelife friends-to-enemies arc.

In limited life nosey neighbours were on great terms with both clockers and mean gills, until Pearl and Bigb stole the enchanter from Scott and Martyn, and until they allied with clockers' enemies (TIES). So that season ended with Cleos final life taken by Pearl, and Pearls final life taken by Scott.

In secret life, Pearl and Cleo had the puppers alliance, until they started killing each others puppies and setting each other on fire?? And then Pearl killed Cleo and Cleo's ally in the very same episode???

And sl!Pearl and Scott? They were doing so well, Mounders and Gem&The Scotts were on semi-good terms for majority of the season, Pearl was one of the people Scott tried his "love you" task with, and even though she didnt say it back, she pointed out how its a nice change from double life, and even felt bad the next episode when Scott told her that she never said it back. In secret life their falling out wasnt actually terrible. They were both loyal to their teams, and Pearl wasnt going to leave Mounders even with both Gem and Scott telling her that shes welcome in the band. Still that doesnt change the fact that Pearl was chasing him down saying "Its you and me, Scott, we gotta finish what we've started in double life!".

And Real Life. Do I even need to say anything. They happily reunited, all 3 of them, for the first time since last life, and even did a silly little dance together. And then Cleo and Scott 2v1ed Pearl when she was on her red life, and then ended up having to fight each other themselves because they made it to top 2. Because of course they did.

I love them so much but Why are they like That

[seawardboundsammy]

after many months of work, I reveal my magnum opus. The Sidestep Battlejacket.

pov: ortega seeing sidestep whole for the last time

Holy shit! It's finished!!!

This was my final for my costume design class and it took. so long. Weighing in around 800 pounds in faux leather and spikes, this is by far the most polished and focused battle jacket I've ever made. also noting that typically i wear big glasses! i just had to show off sidestep's eyebags (my hair is always teal though! ult fave color). The prop gun is a nerf gun covered in so much paint.

This design is based off my sidestep Arbor's suit combined with the dog themes sidestep has (eg: bite the hand). More thoughts and wips under the cut!

So this jacket has actually existed in some form since 2020. I bought this leather jacket with the intention of covering it in studs and spikes and then i petered out half way through. Then, after sitting in my closet for 4 years, i finally started back up on it.

These images were my gospel through the project. The design on the left was made a while before and then you can see in real time how i developed my ideas. I had the idea of the front side being "sidestep" and then the back side with the teeth being "retribution/vsona". like a mullet of trauma. the gun was made to match the organic flowing designs of the jacket, to fit the arboreal theme.

the painting of the teeth was a painstaking process filled with much masking tape and clean up. the arm stripes were free handed in a mad dash to the finish. I used Angelus Leather Paints (which i bought WAY too much of, a little goes miles also its so good not sponsored its just good paint) and every section got two coats of white and two coats of teal. The only exception was the orange which is much more transparent which took more coats and hand cramping with those letters. (which btw! no stencil! just moving my brush around all silly style).

i really wanted a prop to make the jacket into something that actually feel like a cosplay, so i hunted down the most sci-blaster nerf gun i could find on amazon and threw gallons of paint at it. the experienced among you may note that nothing wants to stick to that smooth of plastic, but with a solid sanding and angelus acrylic hardener i made it work. originally there were more stripes but it looked busy. there were also going to be two charms for charge and anathema but i um. forgor.

unsanded vs sanded (and some acetone to remove paint) vs final

the hood! good god that hood. that was ripped off an old hoodie and then i found a shirt at a thrift store that just happened to match the color perfectly. its. attached. if you know anything about sewing, please look away from this evil seam. the purple is just to keep it from fraying btw, the actual connection to the jacket it with a much thinner thread in big stitches as to not weaken the faux leather too much. also you can see where i was testing the paint lol.

if you read to here, thank you!! im so proud of this thing and i cant wait to wear it everywhere (when the weather allows.) have a sleepy steppy as a treat for sticking around

[jekyll-hatepage]

Thinking about how (if the ducts are still intact) people without eyes can still cry. Thinking about Kenshi trying to get used to his new life, and being so overwhelmed that he starts crying. Thinking about Johnny finding him and seeing the tears stain his blindfold, thinking it's discharge from the wound or something. Thinking about Johnny trying to fix the blindfold, only for Kenshi to break down completely and try, in vain, to push Johnny away until he's so overcome with despair that he melts in Johnny's arms. Thinking about Johnny realizing this is Fucking Serious and not making any jokes, but just holding Kenshi and comforting him.

[yumethefrostypanda]

Lt. Ghost

[elfsyellowflowerzart]

hello!

im now taking commissions for people who contribute to a very important gfm.

if you contribute to the gfm of @mohiy-gaza2 , i will draw for you.

here is a link to his gfm, and i will put information about the types of drawings i will do below.

for a $5 contribution, i will draw you an uncolored sketch of any character from the shoulders up.

for a $10 contribution, i will add flat color to the above.

for a $15 contribution, i will either add lines along with the color to the above, or i will draw you an uncolored full body sketch of any character.

for a $20 contribution, i will put flat colors on that sketch.

for a $30 contribution, i will line the full body sketch, without color.

for a $40 contribution, i will fully line AND color that full body sketch.

for anything above $50, i will draw whatever you want. this includes multiple characters interacting.

you must send me proof of contribution via direct messages on this blog before i start drawing.

i can draw many body types, you can go through my "yew art" tag to see my style more in-depth. i will tag yew art on this post for ease of searching.

examples of my art:

i am really bad at drawing backgrounds and shading, but if you want me to try, i will.

i can also send transparent versions of anything i draw if you want, so that you or others can color it, draw backgrounds on it, or just do anything you want with it in general. all art will be free to use by the commissioner without credit if people want to use it that way. post it anywhere you want, with or without credit. but if youre able, i do beg you to share this post and this gfm.

if you want a certain pose, send some kind of reference photo or in-depth description of the pose. if its an original character, please send a color palette for them if you are able. the default for full bodies, if not given a pose, will be the character(s) standing still.

please, please be a friend and help him.

[penheadie]

So anyways I hope you like made up Pine Point angst @zeddyzi

A little redraw doodle based off a old made up storyline that has to do with Dimitri being in a long distance relationship with his girlfriend (that we keep getting little nods and snippets towards through things like talking on the phone, or Nil trying to get a glimpse of who he's talking too but he's too short) and Nil getting jealous of losing the closest thing they have to a friend/family because everyone in their life likes to leave them. So in return Nil just leaves to go live in the forest before Dimitri can leave them first.