#please never ever check the internet

[crazykuroneko]

Saw this old article (early last year) getting shared again on Twitter. There are some parts I didn't remember reading, so I'm sharing it here

(All automatically translated by Google Translate)

Alternative translation by Deepl:

Hovering over the story of the relationship between Louis and Lestat is a question that, for whoever created the series, is the real central theme and was always what interested him most about the script. "For me, the most interesting thing is the memory. There are a few little moments in episode three where he wonders if it was raining or not raining. That's really the most important thing that happens in the first season in terms of where we're going to go in the second season," he analyzes. One of the resources to explore the concept of memory is, as he adds, to put a good journalist in the room to ask questions and even push the interviewee to go "deeper into their memories to see how fragile and malleable they are". Objectivity, when someone tells the story of their own life, is not always present, even if they are not aware of it.

"I think these things are really hard, in the series we address issues of race, queer and other things that are really important," Jones continues, "but the series talks about the act of telling my life story and how hard it is. Because it affects more people beyond oneself, because it involves "strange decisions" made over time and even manipulations because you can't "face the trauma or because you want to think better of yourself". In this sense, adds the creator of 'Interview with the Vampire', "there is a significant little line in episode two, when Molloy says that memory is a monster. I think this is the biggest monster in this series, memory".

[triplefrontierbabe]

hellooo!! i wondering if you’ve ever seen that trend on tiktok where the guy is like “bitch, what’s for dinner” and the reader would be all innocent & stuff, and at the end he would apologize and tell her to never let him speak to her that way again? hopefully that makes sense! 🫶🏻🫶🏻 (this would be through text btw lol)

Internet Trends with the Grid

summary: the guys try an internet trend on you

pairing: f! reader x Daniel Ricciardo, Oscar Piastri, Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, George Russell, Charles Leclerc

warning: language, suggestive themes, allusion to Max’s dad, you are responsible for the content you consume

a/n: I have seen this trend floating around, I did put a little twist on it.

disclaimer: while this is based off a trend, please know that anyone who ever genuinely talks to you like this, especially a romantic partner, you have no obligation to answer to them, you deserve better.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ ౨ৎ ⋆｡˚

Check out my Masterlist

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taglist: @f1updates4you @ifyouaintfirstyourelastt @bernelflo

[purple-obsidian]

unconditional (18+, red hood jason todd x fem reader) wc 1.5k

⭓ this post contains explicit sexual content and is not suitable for minors. reader is afab and described as shorter than jason. established relationship. if you sense a theme in my writing, what can i say. i'm a sucker for sleepy sex. dedicated to @janybabyy who is always down to proofread my work at a moments notice.

You awaken with a start, the familiar creek of your front door closing, pulling you from your uncomfortable half-slumber.

The hall light flickers on, casting a tall, dark shadow over your perch on the oversized recliner in your shared living room.

“You actually used the door.” You mumble sarcastically, recognizing the hulking frame as your boyfriend.

Your greeting is reciprocated by a raspy exhale, followed by a heavy footstep, then another. “You should be in bed.”

He's already rid himself of his helmet. You admire the outline of his shaggy hair as he stalks closer, your heart beating stronger when he pauses several feet in front of you.

“Says who?” You ask, a coy grin itching at the corner of your mouth.

“Me.”

Exhaustion is apparent in his voice. You can practically feel it radiating off his body. Jason reaches a heavy arm to massage away an ache in the back of his neck as you stand up and approach.

He’s leaning into your touch before your palm even reaches his cheek. Another long exhale escapes him, your touch akin to a cool drink of water after a long run in the heat.

”Can’t sleep without you here.”

“Huh. Yeah right,” he presses his lips to the skin of your wrist briefly before continuing, “I know I wake you up. Don’t lie.”

His arm snakes around your waist, the most natural movement in the world to him. Muscle memory. That’s where you belong, in his arms, by his side. Even so, you know he doesn’t believe you when you tell him that some people are worth losing sleep over. That his love is worth the occasional sleepless night, whether it’s staying awake from worry, or comforting him through his ever-present night terrors.

“Jason…” You bring your other hand to cup his face gingerly, feeling a pang of guilt at the dark circles under his eyes.

He works so hard.

Before you realize it’s happening, you’re guiding him down into a slow kiss. His lips, warm and familiar, are tinged with the taste of salt and blood. You allow yourself to indulge for a beat before shying away, wanting to check him for injuries. But as you rescind, needy lips follow, an almost desperate groan rumbling in his throat.

“Don’t.” He mumbles, lips flush against your own. Rough hands grip you closer at the small of your back. “Please, sweetheart. Need you. Missed you.”

You swoon, allowing him to consume your senses. Eyes closed, lips entangled once more, Jason Todd never needs to ask more than once for your affection. Ever since the day you confessed your love for each other, you give it to him, freely and willingly. You are his safe space, his haven. The one person he’s finally let himself be vulnerable with, where there’s no need for his reticence.

And in return? You have, in him, a best friend. Your protector, your lover, the only man who can make living in this hellhole of a city worth it. There are very few problems in your life that he cannot solve. Nevermind that most of those problems are caused by dating him in the first place. Dating a vigilante has its dangers, but Red Hood seems to be at the top of the ‘food chain’ when it comes to Gotham’s criminal underworld.

All that influence, all the money and power that comes with it, and he still chooses to come home to you. In your mediocre flat, with spotty internet, expensive heating, and a dishwasher that never seems to stay not broken, no matter how many times he fixes it.

Several articles of clothing, discarded in a tired haze of affection, lead a telling trail to the bedroom. Jason lifts you effortlessly, laying you down on the bed, keeping himself close so he’s on top of you. Cognizant of his size, he remains propped on his forearms, caging you in but graciously allowing you to breathe.

“Need you too.” You whisper up at him, basking in his attention. You bite your lip, and reach down for the waistband of his boxers, the only remaining article of clothing keeping him modest.

“M’gross.” He mutters, voice tinged in hesitation. “It’s been a long night.”

But he doesn’t stop your fingers from tugging on the elastic. He helps you, kicking them off, and settling his frame over yours again, allowing his lips to rest against your forehead.

“Don’t care.”

You turn your head, allowing your breath to fan over the scarred skin of his neck.

“I couldn’t be more proud of you, Jay. Besides…” You nudge your nose against him, inhaling deeply, savoring his musk, eyes rolling back at the rush of feel-good hormones that flood your brain from the familiarity.

Your boyfriend chuckles, “Yeah? Besides what, hm?” Peering down at you with lustful eyes, his deep tone sends a tingle down your spine. Nerves on fire from the closeness, you reach for him, slow yet confident, not disappointed when your fingers wrap around his length to guide him to the space reserved for him and him alone.

He knows what.

“No prep? You sure, sweetheart?” His voice is tired, strained, but there’s an unmistakable tenderness in how he addresses you. You know he doesn’t have the energy to get you warmed up. He barely has the energy to be on top.

“I can handle you, handsome. Just take it easy on me.”

With no willpower to contest your assurance, Jason's heavy eyelids flutter shut as he slowly lowers himself flush on top of you. Chest to chest, skin to skin. Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushes his aching cockhead inside the familiar warmth of your body. Your velvet walls weep from his intrusion, the sting in your inner muscles one you’ll never quite get used to. It’s a bittersweet pain that you've come to associate with this behemoth of a man you share your home with.

Jason takes his time. His movements are slow, languid, letting you grow accustomed to him an inch at a time. He keeps close, exhaling little praises into your ear every time a pained whimper escapes your throat.

“Good girl, shhh, nice and slow.”

“Been thinking about you all night.”

“That's it, relax for me, beautiful.”

His unhurried thrusts, tender and deliberate, are slow enough that the cool air of the bedroom has enough time to cool your slick along his shaft before he pushes his progress back in. Your strained panting fills his ear, the way you cling to him urges him to continue on despite the stretch you feel. You don’t want him to think he’s too much.

He’s never too much for you.

Never.

“Jason… Please.”

You clench around him when he pushes deeper, your body finally catching up and leaking your desire around his girth that’s splitting you open.

“Fuck.”

The muscles in Jason’s back tense and release. He pauses his hips, biting into the pillow behind your head, adjusting one arm to hold a bit more of his weight.

Desperate for more of him, you shift your hips up and buck him deeper inside you in short thrusts, digging your fingertips into his back. You’re careful not to use your nails, having promised yourself long ago that you would never be the cause of one of his scars.

But deep down you know, this man would wear a scar from you proudly. He’s proved on more than one occasion that he would die for you.

Just because he would take it, doesn’t mean he deserves it. Which is why you use your self control to restrain yourself while you cling to him gently, crying out in pleasure when he finally starts moving again to match your rhythm, heavy breathing shaking his whole body.

The friction from the increase in pace has you flexing your feet and writhing, nodding your head, stuttering out his name.

“I love when you’re like this…” He admits. “Fuck, you feel so, ugmmmph!” Jason loses his breath, his orgasm hitting him unexpectedly, like an ocean current that sweeps you away so quick, you don’t know which way is up. All he can think about, all he can perceive while the pleasure spasms down his legs is you.

“Y-yes!” You stuffer, helping him bottom out deep inside you, his tip kissing the entrance to your womb, decorating it with his essence while his climax peaks.

Taking advantage of his euphoria, you wrap your legs around his strong abdomen, and hold him closely, showering his neck in fervent kisses.

The noises he makes in response to your affection sound guttural, like you’re fulfilling a primal need of his that he’s been deprived of for too long. A need all humans have. Something Jason Todd, specifically, was lacking most of his life, until he met you.

Enthusiastic, genuine, tender affection. Love that’s unconditional.

The type of love that doesn’t care if he’s dirty and scarred. The kind of love that understands not every instance of intimacy will be an epic performance. It’s the love that finds it endearing when his gentle snoring fills your ear less than a minute later, still one with the most intimate parts of you.

if you enjoyed this, please consider reblogging or leaving a comment!

please don’t steal my work. don't upload it to another site, use it to train ai, or claim it as your own.

⭓ masterlist ⭓

[curiositysavesthecat]

Additional comment from the submitter: ❝my friend who owns a cat says you can’t be a cat owner without getting scratched or bitten by the cat at least once. I don’t think she’s a “bad owner” just because her cat sometimes playfully bites and scratches her, obviously she’s never abused the cat (I strongly believe she loves and has never mistreated her pets), she does give him some discipline but still gets scratched and bitten from time to time (not all the time). So I think it’s just in cats’ nature (cats being cats)? But I’d love to hear other owners’ experiences since I obviously am not a cat expert.❞

This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[bunny-jpeg]

Hiii I’d love to place an order! I’d like to order Angel food cake with a savory pastry and a side of iced tea and pina colada served by Lando💕

bakery menu

want to place an order? check out the menu! there's tons of things to choose from so please, hit me up! i'd love to hear from you! thank you, thank you! for this order! thank you lovely anon, i hope you enjoy it!

angel food cake ("if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you.") + savory pastry ("let your brother find out.") + ice tea (accidentally launching relationship) + pina colada (pregnancy)

cw: smut/pwp, verstappen!reader, pregnancy, phone calls, protective!max, cowgirl position

max didn't want you seeing any of the guys on the grid. it never sat right with him. he knew all of their dirty secrets and didn't need you getting involved with them.

but you and lando connected quite well, he was always sweet to you. he slowly grew to know you inside and out. you were perfect for him, it was just a shame that you had to keep your relationship private.

"this is silly." you shifted from one foot to another. you were currently in one of lando's t-shirts with a certain pair of underwear underneath, "where did you ever get this?"

lando was resting on his side with his head propped up by his fist, "the internet is a beautiful place, love." he beamed at you.

you'd barely call them panties, it was more like a strip of fabric held together by thin shoelaces. it was one step below a thong at that point. but it was neon green with your boyfriend's logo printed on the front.

you had refused to wear them to the dutch grand prix, but if he won, you'd wear them. you made the bed, now you must lie in it. you knew lando was still running off the high of the win, so you couldn't blame him. he beat your brother on his home turf, now he wanted to fuck his sister.

"do i have to wear these when i leave?" you asked.

he shrugged playfully, "sure. let your brother find out that way. if you leave them on the hotel room floor when he comes to pick you up... i can only imagine the look on his face." he knew that you had a habit of leaving things in hotel rooms. he had a decent collection of your make up that he had collected over your time together simply by taking home what you left behind.

it wouldn't be a stretch for your brother to find that thong, as embarrassing at it would be.

you crossed your arms and huffed, "couldn't i have gotten like a pair of boxers or even a bikini cut. this is shit that strippers wear." no offense to the hard working girls of that business, but that wasn't your line of work.

lando winked at you, "well, maybe you should put on a show for me."

you narrowed his eyes before you got on the bed with your boyfriend, "right, right." you ran your fingers through his hair and looked into his eyes, "you're a funny guy, norris." then went in for a kiss.

he got his arms around you and laid you out on the bed, his eyes raked your body. he admired your beauty and was eager to get the shirt off of you. which only left you in the thong.

"you know. if he fucks with me again, i'm finishing inside of you again." and watched you squirm under his grasp. oh, you were so beautiful. the prettiest thing ever put on his earth, and you were wearing his logo.

in all fairness you were going to be eventually be a norris, if his plan went well. he wanted you to be his wife. the pretty mrs. norris around the garage. all smiles and maybe a few babies.

a sick part of him liked the idea of taking max verstappen's sweet sister and putting a pretty ring on your finger. that he took the championship and his sister.

it pained him to take the thong off, but he wanted what was underneath. he wanted to see that slick pussy that he yearned for. he got the scrap of fabric off and gazed at your pussy before you took him by the shoulders and got him onto the bed.

he eyed your naked body as you straddled his waist, he helped you sink down on his cock. his expression changed as he felt himself nudge against the back of your pussy. almost took the breath out of him.

you breasts bounced with each thrust of your hips. he met his pace and held onto you. he eyed your beauty from the angle he was out. you looked painfully adorable. sweet little thing taking his big cock, letting it nudge up against the softest parts of you.

lando loved you, it was a infernal need, like the claws of hell gripped into him when he thought of you. he felt like a little devil when he got you into positions and rutted up against you. you were the ultimate prize, verstappen's little sister with the gentle eyes and sopping wet cunt. it was hot, that was all that lando wanted.

he'd never admit it to anyone (except maybe you), but if he had the choice between the championship and your sweet cunt for the rest of his days. he'd take you. there were a million prizes and trophies to win, but there was only one of you.

"lando." you gasped, your back arched a little as it hit just the right way. you felt tense as the pleasure lapped at your core. you were soaked and it felt hot all over.

"you're beautiful. you got all the beauty." he chuckled as he gripped onto your hips to meet your thrusts, "i can't believe you and max are siblings."

you whined, "lando. don't talk about my brother." your pussy sounded soaked from the movements you made. you were so wet for him and it made him shudder with want.

"sorry, sorry, baby girl." he said, "no more track talk, no more sibling talk." he leaned forward to kiss your chest as a promise as the two of your rutted against one another. the pair of you felt so good.

you moaned a 'thank you' as you placed your hands on either side of his chest to get a better angle to ride him. the feeling bloomed in the back of your head, it clouded your thoughts with that of hot, hot need. lust was a current in your system as you bounced on his cock.

"i love you."

"i love you too." you arched your back a little as you felt lando in your abdomen. a wave of lust went over you and made you run hot. your brother's rival was deep inside of you with little to no protection. it excited you.

but just as quickly as the pleasure rose in your body, it ran cold in a quick second.

your phone rang on the nightstand. while you ignored it, you caught the sight of the screen and saw that it was from your brother. you scrambled a little, with lando's cock still inside of him.

you felt ice in your stomach as you stopped for a moment. your breathing was heavy. it continued to ring.

"stay quiet." you said to lando before you answered the phone, "hey! max." you said, your voice was tight.

there was moment of silence with you still rolling your hips against lando's cock. letting it fill you. the bed squeaked a little and your breathing was heavy.

max sighed, "are you with lando?"

your breath got caught in your throat and you stopped your movements. you swallowed back the panic, "n..no. why would i be with lando.. i'm at my hotel!" you almost felt the air out of your lungs as lando's cock was painfully deep inside of you.

max said, painfully calm, "i know you are... don't lie." that was the thing about your older brother, he always knew when you lied. he could lie through his teeth, but you cracked under the pressure.

you felt lando's hands hold onto your hips. you said meekly, "surprise...."

your brother replied, "we'll talk about this after. i suggest you be more careful around the paddock, unless you people to talk... be safe. please. and tell lando to look at the driver's group chat."

you hung up the phone and put it down on the bed before lando moved you onto your hands and knees to plug his cock deep into you. he curved your back and rutted against you. you whined and tried to say something but lando spoke first.

"guess the cat has come out of the bag." the rush of it made him more excited as he rammed his cock into you. with a few more heavy thrusts, you came around his cock. and then with a few more, he finished inside of you. you came soon after as he rubbed his cock deep into you some more. the pressure made orgasm wash over you.

"lando."

"i've got you, baby girl. you look so good, all fucked out for me."

he loved the sight of you on your chest, hips up at the perfect angle to cream your sweet pussy. he slowed to a stop and pulled out, the base of his cock had a white ring around it from the mixture of your cum and his.

"what about max?"

"oh don't worry. i'll talk to him. gotta play nice with my future brother-in-law." lando said as he curled up further to you.

-

max didn't kill lando. he also wasn't happy. not only was lando dating you, he had also gotten you pregnant. he didn't even need to say anything and lando was already promising a ring and a life together. max was honestly a little impressed. seeing lando step up to the plate.

he could also see how affectionate lando was with you. how he was there for you every chance he got. he didn't throw you to the wayside because he got what he wanted. max only wanted the best for you.

"i'm fine, lando." you said as you pinched his cheeks, "go do you press stuff, i'll be here."

"alright, alright. but if you need anything you tell someone. i'm not having my wife getting lost or hurt out there." he tapped you on the forehead.

max chuckled into his fist and you glared at your brother.

but when you came to the paddock in mclaren orange near the end of the season, your brother was less impressed. you were with the mclaren driver, but you were still a verstappen.

"next time." max said, "you're wearing red bull, the idea of a verstappen in mclaren clothes isn't right. you're not married to him yet." some habits died hard.

maybe you should've thought this over better before you started dating your brother's rival. <3

[shotofstress]

Coming back after being almost a week without electricity, phone, and internet connection. Huge storms with lightning and rain, and winds. We have never have winds like that here and the roof of so many houses were ripped off, stuff flying, etc. All this bc global warming, and the deforestation and mining in our lands. At this rate, in 5 years we will have tornadoes, a thing we have never ever have here. Nor our lands, infrastructures, states, and culture are prepared for this. Areas of the country are devastated, ppl have died, many are without electricity nor Internet connection so they are isolated. The houses are flooding with water, and the ones that not, are leaking from the ceiling. Too many neighbours and compatriots don't have roofs and the streets are full of fallen trees and pieces of roof material, no electricity, no signal, food rotting, but suffering at the same time for the cold of this terrible winter, and trying to do something, patching even when its gonna go to hell when the storm comes again this next days. More than 33,200 people affected and 41,500 isolated due to 5 days of rain and windstorms. In just a couple of days there were 170,000 homes left without power due to wind and rainstorms and even more as time went by.

If u want to help me to fix the roof, walls, to buy food and being warm this winter please check my PayPal. If u can't donate, please reblog bc thats the only way to make this being seen by ppl thus receiving help. I'm really not being able to keep living like this, i can no longer cope, so please share.

Here are in my PayPal or MACH . I took the kofi link bc they were charging me a fee.

Please, educate about global warming and the effects on Global South, specially for working class, chronically ill, autistic, disable, and long covid survivor ppl like myself.

Edit: I added links and pics

Edit: the weather is better (is finally spring at this current date 24th nov), but I still need to fix were I live/sleep bc the walls are broken and one of the walls is not a wall, but like 1cm wide stuff and all was bad build so even the door is twisted and dont work correctly, there is black mold that i think is damaging my ears, the paint is falling, the lamp has fallen, everything is broken and ugly, etc. I still need to buy food, meds, and everything so please, please, share or donate if you could. I don't want to survive like this and here, no one mask even when they were the ones giving me covid and they have making me also catch flu the other day bc they cogh over everything and don't care if they kill me, they are abusive and really violent people and are working to put me and everyone in danger. I dont even want to be in my country bc we will have a dictatorship soon, but I have nowhere else to go nor money to migrate (i need like $10.537 dollars or € 9.760,95 euros to pay all the documents, the bank money I have to show to prove I am a human being deserver of rights, the tickets, rent money and stuff to migrate).

I currently have $100 dollars donated (coz i spent 40 in food and meds this past month)

I know i will die here, but at least help me to survive in a less dehumanising way.

Edit: tumblr has blocked me from recive or send messages from the chat and comment of posts, so if you are trying to reach throughout there I can't see it, sorry, I'm cut from any communication (cant even see past messages from chat or asks), except send asks. I'm waiting that tumblr do something, but still hasn't even answered the help file I sent to them.

[svtiddiess]

Curiosity Killed The Cat Gets You Laid?

Synopsis: It's Halloween night, and you're wandering through the woods you were always warned to stay far away from, searching for vampires. They say curiosity killed the cat, but no one mentioned it could also get you laid.

Pairing: vampire!Jeonghan x afab!reader x vampire!Wonwoo

Genre: suggestive, one shot, vampire! au, supernatural! au

Rating: suggestive/mature

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: blood, injuries, vampires, dry humping, lemme me know if I missed anything!

Note: Happy Halloween! This is my first attempt at a vampire fic so please be nice.

Thank you so much to Indi @wongyuseokie for the amazing banner! She ate for real.

Click here to join my taglist!

Read on ao3

Reblogs are appreciated ♡

.ᐟMinors/blank/no age indicator blogs will be blocked.ᐟ

October 31st, Halloween, the one day you look forward to all year. In this small, sleepy town where nothing ever happens, Halloween is the rare time when everything feels alive. It's ironic, really, that a holiday meant to honour the dead and the supernatural is the only time the town truly comes to life.

Although plenty of celebrations and parties are happening around town, your mind is elsewhere: vampires. Rumours about the woods on the edge of town have been swirling for years. Some say it's home to secret gold mines; others claim there's a hidden graveyard for those who have sinned way beyond redemption, and many point to the string of murders that have occurred there. But what really grabs your attention is the rumour that vampires live there.

You've been told time and time again never to step foot into the woods, but hey, you can't stop curiosity now, can you? And that's why here you are on Halloween night, making your way through the woods you've been told to stay far away from. You chose tonight for this journey because Halloween is when vampires are supposedly most active—at least, that's what the internet said. You're really hoping it wasn't wrong.

The crunch of leaves and the distant hooting of owls greet you as you step into the woods. A chill runs down your spine as you take in your surroundings—the darkness wrapping around the trees gives the forest an eerie, foreboding feel. The shadows twist into strange shapes, making you glance over your shoulder and double-check your surroundings more often than usual.

You mentally curse yourself for not bringing a proper flashlight; your phone flashlight does the bare minimum to light the surroundings. After several minutes of walking, you stop in your tracks. You could swear you've passed this same tree four times already—or is it a different one? Damn, you might be lost.

'This might've been a stupid idea,' you think.

In too deep to back out now, you proceed to go further into the woods, a very bad idea, but your stubbornness overpowers your voice of reason a lot of the time. A sudden howl piercing through the sky stops you in your tracks. Wolves? No, that can't be. You must’ve misheard—it was probably just the wind, you tell yourself. But then, another howl echoes through the woods. Okay, wolves. Definitely wolves.

Quickening your pace, you decide to retrace your steps, hoping that will eventually lead you back to society. As you try to find your way out of the woods, you hear footsteps, multiple footsteps, heading toward you. Not wanting to risk a run-in with wolves, you take off running.

Unfortunately for you, you were never much of an athlete, so you end up tripping over a rock and falling, cutting your palm on the jagged ground. Cursing out loud, you pick yourself up and observe the cut; it was fairly deep, and blood continuously started to pour out of it, staining your hand. You frown and squeeze your hand, hoping to stop the blood from flowing.

Okay, now you definitely need to get out of the woods. If the wolves don’t get you, the inevitable infection from your wound will (though you’re being a bit dramatic). Frowning, you continue to head to where you think you came from.

Stumbling aimlessly through the eerie forest, you suddenly come upon a massive mansion. It looks like something straight out of the Victorian era, with towering spires, gothic architecture, and plenty of decay to match. Your small flashlight barely does it justice, making it hard to fully appreciate the mansion's haunting beauty.

Could this be it…? Remembering the whole reason you ventured into the woods, you head inside the mansion. You're determined to encounter at least one vampire tonight.

The heavy wooden doors groan as you push them open. You take a deep breath as you absorb the sight of the eerie mansion. Inside is a stark contrast to the exterior; it feels much more cohesive, with relatively recent furniture and a sense that the place isn’t falling apart.

The air stilled. It became quiet, too quiet. The only sound you can hear is the beating of your own heartbeat ringing in your ears. Gulping, you shakily make your way towards what you assume is the fireplace. It was dark, perfectly in line with the gothic theme that enveloped the entire building.

Above you hung a large portrait of two men, hauntingly beautiful, with pale, almost white skin and dark maroon eyes that seemed to pierce through you. Their jet-black hair framed their faces perfectly. They wore white blouses that you assume are from the Victorian era, adorned with very expensive jewellery. One man was slightly shorter than the other, but his looks would put any model to shame; his longer hair framed his face beautifully, making you think, "a fallen angel". The taller man had shorter hair and more sharper features, yet he appeared just as ethereal. His mesmerising eyes seemed to draw you in, almost as if they were sucking your soul. Another striking feature was their lips, a deep red, almost as rich as their eyes.

"Damn, if these guys are the vampires, then I wouldn't mind getting my blood sucked by them," you muse out loud.

"Oh really now?" A voice purred next to your ear. You whip your head around to see who it is, only to be greeted with nothing.

"W-Who was that?!" You shout, cursing under your breath as your voice comes out shakier than you'd like.

"I’m sure you already know who, bunny," a voice whispers from behind. You spin around, but there's only darkness.

"I-I know how to fight!" You yell, trying to sound confident.

"Ooh, a fighter. I like that," a deeper voice purrs, this time right next to you.

Suddenly, your phone is snatched from your hand, plunging you into complete darkness. Panicking, you throw punches into the air, hoping to hit something—anything—but you freeze when a hand catches your fist.

"She really is a fighter, Wonwoo," the first voice chuckles; even his laughter seems to have a surreal feel to it. You hear another low chuckle from behind, which you assume is Wonwoo.

Wonwoo then wraps his arms around your waist, plunges his nose into the crook of your neck, and takes a long whiff.

"You smell absolutely divine, doll," he moans; you can't help but shiver at his actions.

Suddenly, the room flickers to life with candlelight, making the already creepy mansion even more eerie. You can now see the man standing before you, and you gasp; it's the same man from the portrait, the one with the longer hair.

He gently uncurls your injured fist, running his tongue slowly along the wound, and lets out a moan. Your breath catches at the sight, and you can't help but shiver at his actions.

"She likes that, Jeonghan," chuckles Wonwoo. You blush at Wonwoo's words, embarrassed cause it's true.

"You want this just as bad, don't you, bunny?" Jeonghan purrs before licking another stripe up your palm, causing you to let out a soft whimper.

"Don't even try and deny it, doll; we can hear your heartbeat," whispers Wonwoo before licking the shell of your ear.

You gulp, your mouth dry as sandpaper, and your heartbeat thunders in your ears. Sure, you came into the woods hoping to encounter vampires, but now that they're standing right before you, you're unsure what to do. They're so alluring, their very presence making your head spin.

Wonwoo leans down, gently nipping at the skin of your neck, making your heart lurch. You can feel him smirk against your skin.

"It has been a while since we had a blood servant," he mumbles against your skin. Jeonghan hums, a small smirk painting his face.

"What do you say, bunny? Want to become our blood servant?" Jeonghan purrs.

You open and close your mouth like a fish out of water, completely at a loss for words. Yes? No? If you say yes, are you doomed to serve them until death? If you say no, will they kill you on the spot? Your mind races, spinning with uncertainty. Maybe coming out here wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Looks like our little bunny is unsure," snickers Jeonghan.

"How about we give you a taste, then?" Wonwoo whispers before sinking his teeth into your neck.

You gasp and freeze, paralysed by the sudden sharp prick. You brace yourself for intense pain, but instead, you're flooded with overwhelming pleasure. It feels as though every nerve in your body is igniting, sending wave after wave of pleasure through you. Your arousal soaks your panties, and you can already feel it sticking to your skin. You've never experienced anything like this before—nothing even close. You close your eyes, savouring the sensation as your head spins. It feels like you're floating.

"I can smell your arousal from here, bunny. Does it feel good?" Smirks Jeonghan, you can only whimper in response.

"Barely drunk from you, and you're already dripping," Wonwoo chuckles against your neck.

He spins you around to face him, and you instinctively lick your lips as you take him in. Deep maroon eyes with a piercing gaze, skin so pale it's almost white, making his blood-stained lips stand out even more. He looks at you with a smirk.

He cups your cheeks and presses his lips to yours, letting you taste your own blood—metallic and tangy. You melt into the kiss, already addicted to the way his lips feel against yours. Desperate for more, you press up against Wonwoo and start grinding against him. You can feel Wonwoo smirk into the kiss; Jeonghan chuckles at your actions.

"If you become our blood servant, I can guarantee you pleasure beyond what you've ever felt, bunny," hums Jeonghan.

Pulling away from the kiss, you turn toward Jeonghan; your mind clouded with thoughts of them and nothing else. Any sense of reason is long gone. Without a second thought, you agree—you'd say yes to anything at this point.

"Good choice, bunny," smirks Jeonghan before effortlessly carrying you. You gasp and wrap your arms and legs around him.

He sinks his teeth into your neck and starts drinking your blood. You let out a moan at the euphoric feeling washing over your body. Maybe it's because you're already lightheaded from the first time, but this feels ten times more intense. It's as if you've died and gone to heaven, but what's happening is far from heavenly.

Your whole body trembles, and you feel like you have just had an orgasm. You whine out Jeonghan's name as you feel him squeeze your ass. He detaches his lips from your neck and runs his tongue over the bite mark; you shiver at his actions.

Panting, you glance down at the vampire. His pupils are blown wide, lips stained with blood, and a smirk curling on his face. You catch a glimpse of his sharp canines as he watches you.

"We're lucky to have caught such a pretty blood servant," smirks Wonwoo, causing Jeonghan to chuckle.

"Let's take care of the aching between your thighs," hums Jeonghan. "I bet you want to be filled up with our cocks, right bunny?"

"I bet she can take both of us at once," chuckles Wonwoo, causing you to clench around nothing.

"Let's find out, shall we?" Jeonghan smirks before heading toward what you assume is their bedroom.

And that's how, on Halloween night, you became a blood servant—bound to serve the two vampires for the rest of your life.

Taglist: @tinyelfperson @gyuguys @stay-tiny-things @tomodachiii @unlikelysublimekryptonite @miyx-amour @iamawkwardandshy @codeinebelle @brownbunnyb @do-you-remember-summer-127 @jennwonwoo

If your username is striked through it means I couldn't tag you! Make sure to turn off the visibility settings so that I can tag you!

[heartfullofleeches]

[18+]

Introducing - Shy Perv/Horny Alien Darling who's happy to be kidnapped by cute little humans if it means they'll get their dick touched.

Bound and chained up in their kidnappers home - Darling has but one question as their obsessive stalker declares their undying love and how darling will never, ever leave their side again-

"s.... since we're dating now....may - can I touch your breasts?"

Alien Darling from a planet where sleeping with another person for pleasure is looked down upon and intimacy is not seen as common . There's hardly any need for it in terms of reproduction either as technology has mostly taken over in the entire process. Needless to say, Darling is blown away when they learn about earth and some of its cultures. They want to go on dates, and hold hands with someone cute, and maybe even kiss them, and- and.... There's just so much for them to do.

Darling ends up on earth one way or another - working their way up to a far enough life as a cashier. Approaching humans in a romantic/sexual tense is a bit difficult when you only have experience from the films you've seen in the short span of time you've known about them. Darling remains alone and finds fulfilment elsewhere on the internet and with human toys they purchase for "research" - How they'd love to be able to use what they've learned with a cute human, but no person in their right mind would want an awkward outcast like them...

Right?

When Darling finally released they're being followed - they come to the conclusion that it has to be some strange human mating ritual. Yan likely discovers the various blogs Darling has made detailing their journey they probably think nobody will read or believe. Regardless of whether darling truly is from other world - it's clear to see how depraved they are. Yan sees that for themselves when they leave a pair of their underwear in darling's bed and instead of questioning where they came from Darling skips an entire day of work just to drool all over them. Darling is too busy fondling Yan's chest to notice anything wrong - like how their boss hasn't called to check up on them in a while.

Oh....That's right - they don't have a phone anymore. Their lover said they didn't need it anymore.... Plus, their boss was found dead in a lake a few weeks ago.

Huh.....How could they forget something like that?

"Would you like me to take my shirt off while you touch me, love?"

"Yes, please!"

Darling feels the need to ask before every kiss. It's cute - until they're drilling their tongue(s) down Yan's throat everytime since they claim Darling can do whatever they desire to them. It's still impossible for them to believe a cute human would want them so badly. Captivity is a small prize to pay to finally act out the fantasies they've had since they've learned of earth and its people.

[simpjaes]

Would you ever do mtl be into cnc 👀

cnc stands for consensual non consent, please do not read this if it's going to upset you. reminder that cnc is consensual and agreed upon by everyone involved!

warnings: anal, jake repeatedly goes past the boundaries, safe words, dry penetration, crying, being physically overpowered, the act of saying "no" for fantasy sake, fainting, the act of gagging where you can't say the safe word, various roleplay mentions, knife/blood kink.

MTL: hyung line + consensual non consent

most

★ heeseung: he would be the one bringing it up to you, and would probably be a little shocked when you immediately agree. then again, you could never seriously say no to those big sparkling doe eyes. if he wants to hear a no, if he wants to see you try to fight and cry your way out of something, if that's what gets him going, hell fucking yeah, you can play that part for him. And he loves it too. Heeseung can always be quite rough in bed, safe words and all, but he would definitely go harder the second you say no. and he'd also know deep down that you only say no when you want him to go harder, and make it hurt more. additionally, he'll probably take all of your holes, even the ones where- outside of the cnc fantasy- you're a bit unsure about. but that's the thing, you're not against it, and offering nothing but his spit-coated cock dryly pushing past your rim is-- well, even you're not sure if the way you writhe was real or not. still, even through it all, heeseung would keep a soothing hand somewhere on you to comfort you, simply because he knows he may or may not teeter on the boundaries that the two of you set in place.

☆ jay: with jay being the service top of all service tops, I think he would be willing to do literally anything you ask both in the bedroom and outside of it and not falter for a second. i don't think he would be the one bringing it up, but he would absolutely be the one playing the role as an aggressor for your pleasure. Would probably be a bit too gentle for your liking at first, or on edge a little bit about it but I also think he'd end up enjoying the way you give him the power after a little while. he'd start really playing the role when you cry and writhe to get away from him, acting like you're not absolutely dripping down his balls as he forces himself deep and holds you against him. jay would probably surprise you too, disguising praise with awful filthy words, like, "so tight when you try to fight-" and "does it hurt enough?". hm, not to be hella biased but i also think jay would unlock a few kinks through this, blood, knives, ropes, chains, etc. after all, partaking in a kink so extreme does tend to open the doors for all sorts of pain and pleasure to safely partake in together. do I think jay would lend a little cut before sucking your blood up if you so much as gave his knife some heart eyes? yes. do i think he would tie you up, forcing you to curl in on yourself so he can fuck every part of you? yes. but also, i think he is the fucking king of aftercare and would keep you patched up and comfortable after the fact, making damn sure you know he loves you.

★ jake: he's into it 100%, and eventually one of you would bring it up and offer discussions and boundaries after checking the internet history lmfao. the thing with jake is, he may be a bit too rough with it to the point you've had to literally shove him off of you because you see the light in his eyes die and something else take over. I'm talking like, he's holding your head with both hands slamming into your throat, and even if you fight to breathe you know it's part of the fantasy and you can't literally shout the safe word because well...you know, cock bruising your throat repeatedly. like he definitely would lose all sense of humanity with the fantasy and chase only pleasure, only hoping you get something out of it after the fact when he comes back to himself. def has made you faint a few times and kept going. i think it gets to the point that you wouldn't exactly be scared of him, but you'd have to sit him down and be like "okay we need a little more than a safe word or something because-" and he'd immediately go into panic mode and apologize repeatedly for always going a bit too far. would also be trained to wanna fuck you every time you tell him no. like "no, not tonight jake, i have to work in the morning." then he's immediately rolling you onto your stomach, ripping your pajamas down your legs, and burying himself in like "hm? what was that?"

☆ sunghoon: you bring it up to him and he's curious but probably not that good at it at first. always asking if you're okay, always saying shit like "are you sure you don't wanna say the safe word?" and instinctively stopping his hips every time you fight. i don't think he'd have it in him until he gets comfortable and fully trusts that this is what you want. but....when that clicks in his head OH MAN. holding you down and pushing in dry, gagging you with his fingers, writing all over your body, hurting you, forcing you to cry for real. the difference would be like night and day, feeling him use his strength against you in all of the best ways, making you hurt only to still get you off repeatedly and humiliate you for it. would also get a little too into role play and do the whole kidnapping scenario, doctor and patient, teacher and student, step bro and step sis. like you'd 100% rip his darkest fantasies out of the darkest parts of his brain and let him act them out on you. after care king #2 though, definitely making you forget about how fucking terrifying he can be.

least

[demonic0angel]

I saw some youtube shorts and thought of something maybe funny

Red Hood looking into a camera: I have an assistant, and even though our contract includes multiple places for her to choose to live in, she refuses to move out of her place in one of the worst neighborhoods in Gotham.

Jazz snickering behind the camera: Why would I give up a 5 minute walk commute.

Jason: That's why you won't move!

*camera scene changes to Wolf in front of the camera*

Wolf: I have a boss, and even though I have multiple years of combat training, he has to be the first one to check out any weird noises downstairs.

Jason: yeah thats not changing

*camera switch*

Jason: I have an assistant. She once asked if I'd ever fire her. I can't because my men will leave with her.

Jazz: the goons dont like me that much

Jason: Oh, there will be mutiny if I ever do something that would cause you to quit.

*camera switch*

Wolf: I have a boss. Of course, he hides his guns and ammo everywhere. *pulls out a gun and magazine from a hidden wall cubbie*

Jason: There's a cubby there? I've been looking for that gun!!!

(LMFAO WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE I LOVE IT)

Red Hood: I have an assistant, so of course my entire empire of crime is under her rule.

Wolf: Aww, you can be my assistant when I take over!

Red Hood: Really?

Wolf: No. You're too bossy.

Red Hood: Hello? Have you ever met yourself?

————

Wolf: I have a boss, so of course he comes into my office whenever he wants to, even tho I'm busy.

Red Hood: I gave you those reports. Don't make me take away your assignments!

Wolf: *laughing* No! Please! Don't take away my paperwork!

————

Red Hood: I have an assistant, so of course she organizes everything in my office according to her own system that I can never figure out.

Wolf: Yeah, it makes you more dependent on me.

Red Hood: You’re on thin ice, Princess.

————

Wolf: I have a boss, so of course he pays for anything I look at, even when I tell him not to use our company savings for books and pastries.

Red Hood: It's cute that you call it a company. Anyways, if our empire starts sinking, I can just be your sugar baby.

Wolf: Hmm... not sure if I'd still follow you if you were a gigolo, Hood.

Red Hood: *gasp* Hey! Where's the loyalty?!

Meanwhile the comments:

[FLIRTING?? ON MY CELLULAR DEVICE??]

[The literal Red Hood, crime lord who killed over hundreds of people, and Wolf, his assistant who is infamous for beating up the Joker on national television, are following an internet trend??? Where am I?? Who am I?? Why am i?? And where is the patreon for me to get more videos??]

[Remember guys

Red Hood and Wolf: 🫂

You, the viewers: 👤]

[Both. Raw. Until Crime Alley becomes Park Row again. Next question.]

[Why does nobody gaf about a LITERAL CRIME LORD AND HIS ASSISTANT ON OUR FYP???!??]

[Omg I'd rat out these two to Batman so fast just to get them to stop flirting]

[The worst part is being someone from Crime Alley and knowing that these two aren't even dating, they're literally Just Like That.]

[.... I need to call Danny and Dan asap.]

[cuteandhughesy]

CUTEANDHUGHESY ➱ NHL MASTERLIST

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

⊹˚₊ welcome to my nhl masterlist ⊹˚₊

under the cut you will find all of my works linked, as well as the upcoming works that will be published in the near future !

includes the summary and symbols that describe what the fic includes (see legend at the bottom).

requesting is currently OPEN / closed -> requesting rules

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

a majority of my fics contain smut and mature themes and are marked as so. you are responsible for your own interactions with posts on the internet - with that being said, I strongly discourage anybody under the age of 18 from consuming my writing! check the symbols next to each link to see if it’s appropriate for you or not.

─────NEW JERSEY DEVILS─────

Luke Hughes

➱ ceilings (1/2) ✿ ✯ ⚠️ ♕

➱ ceilings (2/2) ✿ ♡ ✯ ♕

✎ you are a bet for luke and his friends, but that doesn't stop you two from actually falling in love, luke just prays you never find out the truth.

➱ when the seasons change ✿ ♕

✎ each season comes and with each one, you're falling deeper in love with your best friend. (4 + 1 series)

➱ please please please ✿ ♡ (not full smut)

✎ navigating a secret relationship with your brothers teammate is turning out to be a little harder than you expected. the 3 times you and luke were almost caught + the 1 time you are caught.

Jack Hughes

➱ the great war ♡ ✯

✎ during a friends getaway to the hughes lake house, you are faced with the ongoing struggle of trying to get along with the middle hughes brother. the 3 times you were sure you and jack hated each other + and the 2 times you aren’t so sure.

➱ cool ✯

✎ after your breakup with jack, you thought your EP release party would be dreadful- especially after your single about him is the biggest hit. what happens when you see him at the party and all past feelings come rushing back.

Nico Hischier

➱ i’ll be home for christmas ✿ ✯ ♕

✎ nico hischier acting as your fake boyfriend to try and get your family off your back this holiday season seems like the perfect solution - or so you thought.

─────TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS─────

Matthew Knies

➱ you are in love ♡ ✿

✎ being john tavares' sister was easy. also easy is being apart of the toronto maple leafs admin team, loving your job and being apart of lifelong friendships. not easy is having your brother invite the newest leaf to live with you all - especially when he is your new crush.

➱ I guess they call it fallin’ ♡ ✿ ✯ ♕

✎ you and matthew promised yourselves once you took each others virginity's, nothing would change. fast forward 3 years - between casual hook ups and spending all your time with one another: you can't help but fall deeper and deeper in love with your best friend.

➱ 5 times ✿

✎ where a fan creates a mini compilation of all the times you and your boyfriend, matthew knies, were seen kissing and being cute on camera.

William Nylander

➱ yours ✿ ✯ ♕

✎ you enlist williams help in trying to get his best friend kasperi kapanen’s attention. with a combination of practice dates, dating lessons, injuries and hiccups, william is determined to get you the guy - if you still want him that is. (in a world where covid didn't exist)

➱ wedding season ✿

✎ ever since you and william started dating , the two of you have been attending friends and teammates weddings - and everytime you can't help but longing for you own wedding.

➱adore you ✿

✎ the 5 times fans were more excited about meeting and seeing you rather than your boyfriend, william nylander.

➱ I can see you ✯ ✿ (in progress)

✎ 2016: fresh out of college with a degree in sports journalism and media studies, you are quickly hired by the toronto maple leafs team. you meet william nylander, a cute rookie on the leafs who instantly takes a liking to you. 2024: as the years go past, you and william are constantly testing the waters - seeing how far you can push the limits of your professional positions. now, with leaked messages and pictures on twitter, you are uncertain how your relationship with william will be taken.

➱ us. ✯

✎ you work as one of the assistant chefs for the toronto maple leafs organization, often taking charge and helping with team buffets and meetings. your job is hectic and crazy and you wouldn't give it up for the world. william nylander can relate, and his role on the toronto maple leafs is his top priority. when the two of you end up falling for one another - and pushed away from each other, the job becomes more complicated.

➱ wonderful christmas time ✿

✎ you and william living through the christmas eve traditions with your kids - as well as frantically preparing for santa's arrival

Simon Benoit

➱ dazed & confused ♡ ✿ ✯ ♕

✎ working for the leafs social media team was nothing short of uneventful - especially when the leafs new french defence man is adamant on making you flustered.

─────BOSTON BRUINS─────

Jeremy Swayman

➱ never let me go ♡ ✿ ✯

✎ jeremy thought he lost his chances after charlie beat him to you - but years later with jeremy becoming your best friend, a weekend at the carlo’s lake house may just prove otherwise.

➱ the alchemy ✿

✎ having your own sports podcasts was one of the most enjoyable and rewarding jobs you could ever have. when a particular episode with the bruins goaltender blows up - you are jeremy are pushed together to film more videos. it doesn't help that everybody is shipping you two together - making your growing crush on him become harder to mask.

─────MICHIGAN WOLVERINES─────

Mark Estapa

➱ let it happen ✿ ✯⚠️

✎ fighting for the best seat in a university classroom with mark estapa wasn’t your first choice - neither is having to tutor him in the midst of it.

─────NEW YORK RANGERS─────

Matt Rempe

➱ sleepover ♡ ✿

✎ your roommate and matt's roommate are hooking up - leaving you with no choice but to stay with matt during your shared schools trip (college!au).

➱ I can do it with a broken heart ✿⚠️ ♕

✎ after a gruelling breakup with you boyfriend, you thought taking the opportunity to teach some nhl players how to figure skate for the nhl youtube channel would be the best distraction. after seeing who your assigned player is though, you're not sure if it'll be as easy as you thought.

➱ no sex in the elevator ♡

✎ tension between you and attractive stranger grows as you end up trapped together in an elevator

─────COLORADO AVALANCHE─────

Mikko Rantanen

➱ this love ♡ ✯

✎ you and mikko used to hook - up, but after an argument, your arrangement ends, leaving nothing but sour greetings between you both. It doesn't help that mikko is your neighbour - and everything seems to end up with you on each others doorstep.

─────SEATTLE KRAKEN─────

Vince Dunn

➱ baby please come home ✯ ♡ ♕

✎ you’ve always had a crush on your best friends older brother even though you’re pretty sure he isn’t that fond of you. so when your parents flight gets canceled while they’re away on holiday, you are graciously invited to spend the christmas holiday with your best friends family - vince and his sour attitude included.

──────VANCOUVER CANUCKS ──────

Quinn Hughes

➱ is it new years yet? ✯

✎ friends with benefits is great in theory but when the holiday season approaches, you begin to believe that may no longer be the case.

─────UTAH HOCKEY CLUB─────

John Marino

➱ under the mistletoe ✿ ♡

✎ john can't help but keep his hands off you, resulting in a very scandalous christmas party sneak off.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

⊹˚₊ LEGEND ⊹˚₊

fluff ✿

smut ♡

angst ✯

trigger warning ⚠️

author’s favourite ♕

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

⊹˚₊ TAGS ⊹˚₊

🤍⊹˚₊ cute and hughesy insta fic - posted under fics

🌟 ⊹˚₊ - cute and hughesy insta edit - posted under insta edits

🎄⊹˚₊ - cute and hughesy christmas - posted under xmas related posts + fics

🎞️ ⊹˚₊ - cute and hughesy playlist - posted under playlists

���⊹˚₊ - cute and hughesy recs - posted under all my fic recommendations

⊹˚₊ Authors Message ⊹˚₊

hello everyone! if you here I hope that means you enjoy my writing! i’ve been writing for years and I thought it was finally time to publish! hockey is my all time favourite sport and obsession - so what better way to share the love !

thank you and enjoy!

© cuteandhughesy - all work is written and owned by me. please do not copy, translate or transfer any of my work to any other blogs or websites or claim as your own work.

[freshxsturniolo]

THATS FRESH LOVE FOR THE FIT - chris sturniolo x femreader!

request : Can you write a fic about how all the triplets are at a fresh love merch photoshoot. Y/N is the model but then Chris starts to check y/n out and starts to get hard but doesn’t want his brothers to notice and tries to play it off but y/n does notice and does something about it….

warnings : smut, oral, self masturbation

chris could not take his eyes off of you. not that he ever usually could anyway, but seeing you standing so effortlessly gorgeous, a complete natural, in front of the camera for his OWN brand made him feel giddy.

you had wore fresh love around him a hundred times before, you had your own stash of clothes but you equally would always steal his too, but there was something about this that was different.

he had never wanted to ask you to model before, only for the fact he felt protective of you. for the most part, his fanbase was incredible, but there was no hiding some of the more hateful comments you received. he admired the way you didn't let it bother you, but there was a difference between the odd instagram post and an entire photoshoot.

but gods, he couldn't resist anymore. it started with the most previous lets trip merch drop, and the way the internet went wild for the new baby tees. they had been your idea, knowing the fanbase would love them, and they kicked themselves immediately for not asking you to model when they announced the merch drop on instagram and saw the way the comments went wild.

just me who thinks @/yourusername should have modelled that baby tee?

nah more baby tees next drop and get @/yourusername to model please

excuse me? baby tees? @/yourusername we neeeeeed some pics of you in this

so when it came down to picking models for his next fresh love drop, he had bounced on you immediately.

"are you sure?" you had said with an excited smile when he asked you, thinking he was going to simply ask you to come along. he knew you had a creative eye and would help him direct the shoots.

"of course, baby. if you feel comfortable to?" he had asked, and you had wrapped your arms around his neck.

"i would love to"

but chris underestimated just how much he would find if difficult to watch you, for the pure and simple fact you were the most beautiful girl he had seen in his whole entire life. you were stood now behind the camera, a fan was placed strategically at the side of you to blow your hair across to the side. you were bare faced, chris' favourite look on you, with some lipgloss on your lips to make them shine throughout the camera, and a sultry look upon your face. you damn well knew how to work the camera.

"gods, she looks incredible" nick said at the side of chris as he watched you, taking his phone out and snapping some photos for you on his phone. you had asked nick kindly to take some behind the scenes photos for you to look back on, and help promote the drop for chris when it was finally released.

"yeah" chris mumbled, swallowing deeply as the photographer asked you to turn more the side. you were modelling a new t-shirt and sweatpants, and the photographer had asked you to move so the side of the pants where visible, fresh love running down the side of the leg. you knew exactly what you were doing, placing your hands in the pockets and arching your back, your ass sticking out ever so slightly to create the perfect curve. he could not stop looking at you. he couldn't.

you were in your own zone, feeling more comfortable than you even thought you would. you'd done shots with the other models first to get you in the zone, having never modelled before, yet somehow when you were alone it had come so naturally to you. you knew your better angles, knew the vision chris had had for this particular launch.

so when you finally let your eyes wonder to him, you can't help the smirk that overcomes you. he's standing next to nick, who you notice is taking photos on his phone of you, with his arms crossed. his eyes dark but intensely wide as he looks over you. you wander your eyes back to the camera for just another second but you can't seem to stop yourself from looking back towards him. nicks saying something to him now, and chris all but nods, before his eyes wander to yours. you stare at each other in a moment of knowing. you were doing perfectly.

he gulps, walking forward slightly, when the photographer calls cut for a second. you snap your head straight to him, giving him a smile.

"are they okay?" you ask, putting yourself in a more relaxed position. and the photographer smiles.

"perfect, do you wanna come look?" and then he turns to chris. "chris, man, do you wanna come and look?"

you look over at your boyfriend and watch as his eyes finally divert away from you, and he gives a smile to the photographer before walking over. you smile, stepping forward towards the laptop with all your photos already automatically transferred over. when you see the first few, you let out a giggle, happy with the way in which they come out, before you feel firm hands on your hips.

you smile, turning your head to catch your boyfriends eye for just a second before he diverts back to the laptop, pulling you closer into him. a small gasp leaves your lips when you feel him, his erection hard against your back. chris gives your hips a squeeze, signalling for you to be quiet, and you let out a smirk as you look back at the photos.

“she’s a natural, chris. i can’t believe you’ve never asked her to model before”

you smile up at the photographer as chris speaks. “yeah, me either. is she done?”

you quick whip your head to chris, giving him an eye, but he ignores you as his eyes bore into the photographer.

“unless you wanted photos together,” you press your back against chris now, the top of your ass rubbing against his cock, and he lets out a small whimper. “to show the clothes are unisex? i think it would be a great selling point”

you spin around now fully in chris’ grasps, pressing your chest against his, the dark sultry look in his eyes tells you everything you need to know.

“shall we, baby?” you smile up at him, and he looks at you for a second, putting his arm around your back and pulling you closer to him, his erection now hard against your stomach, before looking towards nick.

“can’t nick do it?” he says, his throat husky.

you smirk but whip your head to nick, who looks up from his phone.

“me?! i think he meant it would sell well as a mr and mrs type situation” nick barked back, and you let out a chuckle as you look back up at chris, just in time to see him gulp. he looks to the photographer before back to you, and you tilt your head to the side.

“what’s wrong, babe?” you say, pressing yourself further into him, and he lets out a small groan before looking back to the photographer.

“can we take 5? i need to change” chris almost crocked out, and you let out a satisfied giggle as you go to step away from him. but his grip on you becomes tighter, and you only have to look down for a short second to see his current pants are doing nothing to hide his growing member. you smirk, embracing in his touch and feeling giddy at the thought of his reaction to you.

the photographer smiles and nods before looking toward you. “do you wanna take a few more single shots whilst we wait?”

but you don’t get time to answer. “no.” chris says for you. “i need to talk to her a second”

the photographer throws up his hands, before turning back to his computer. chris bends down to speak in your ear.

“start walking, and stay firmly in front of me” he whispers, and you give him a sultry smile. “and stop fucking looking at me like that, unless you’re going to do something about this little problem.”

you smirk. “little?” you say, looking down at him.

he groans, twisting your body around and pushing you forward slightly, and you can’t help but laugh as you start to walk forward. but you don’t get far before nick is on your side, his phone thrown in your direction.

“look at these” he beams, and you take the phone from him as you flick through the photos he had taken.

“oh my god” you smile, genuinely happy with what you can see, but hands are in front of you and the phone is whipped from your hand.

“chris” you squeal, turning around to look at him, but he grabs your hips and pulls you against him as he tosses the phone back in nicks direction.

“not now, nick” he says, and nick throws him a questioning glance, his eyes diverting down to chris’ hands firmly on your hips. his eyes widen slightly, but chris is pushing you forward again, aiming towards the back room where the changing rooms for the models is.

“chris” you whisper, and when you’re finally out of the clearly of others eyes, he steps to the side of you.

“i’m not having my brothers see what you do to me” he says, grabbing your hand.

you’re silent for a second as he walks into the changing rooms, pushing you inside and checking you’re alone, before he shuts the door behind you. he leans his head against the door, taking a deep breathe before he spins around to look at you.

“sorry, baby. you just - fuck - you look so good. i need a minute.”

but with your eyes firmly on the outline of his cock through his sweatpants, you pounce. your hands are on his waistband immediately, and you start to pull them down.

“what are you-“

“let me help, baby” you say, pushing him against the door and getting down on your knees.

“you don’t need to - oh fuck”

it’s too late, his sweatpants are down and your hands are palming him through his boxers, one hand hooked around the waist band as you pull those down too. his cock springs against his stomach, pre cum already covering his tip as you take him into your hands again.

“don’t need to, huh? you was just going to let this go down by itself” you say, and he looks down at you with a look you’d seen so many times before. he couldn’t resist you, he needed you. “i’ll make it quick” you joke, and you move forward as you take him whole. your soft plump lips working him immediately.

“fuck” he groans, his hands coming to your hair, taking a firm grip as you bob your head up and down. it’s been seconds and he’s already shaking, his back hitting the door as he arches his hips forward so you’re forced to take him even deeper.

“look at me” he whispers, grabbing your hair and tugging so you automatically look up at him. you can’t help but let out a chuckle, the vibrations it sends across his cock making him almost whimper. but he keeps his eyes on you, even when you twist your head to take him deeper, your tongue working across his tip every other second, something which you knew sent him crazy.

“my fucking girl” he whispers. “my beautiful fucking girl.”

and you can’t help but moan, your thighs clenching as his words sends shivers through you, right to your core. but he notices, he sees the way your eyes change and your legs get tight together and he doesn’t even think before he lets out his next words.

“touch yourself” he says, and you stop what you’re doing immediately, removing your mouth from him. his eyes widen. “fuck, sorry. you don’t have to, i don’t know what-“

but you don’t let him finish before you slid your hands down your sweatpants, feeling your own wet folds. his eyes widen again, and he’s about to say something before your mouth is on him again, taking him deep, whilst your rub your own clit.

this was the hottest thing you’d ever done.

“oh my god” he whispers, his eyes diverting from your eyes to your hand, not knowing where to look.

you can feel yourself close to the edge within seconds, the feel of his cock withering in your mouth, your fingers moving vigorously as you touch yourself, and the both of you give up looking at one other. his hands slams backwards whilst your eyes clothes, the pleasure almost unbearable for you both.

“i’m going to cum, babe” he shakes out, and you use it as a sign to take him faster, your own hand working in unison with your hand. “look at me” he says again, and so you do.

you climax before him, a whimper escaping you whilst he’s still in your mouth, but it’s that that sends him over the edge as his load enters your mouth.

you move your tongue across him just a few more times, the same way in which you move your fingers just to get the last of your high, before you slowly lick your tongue up his whole length, pulling him out of your mouth, and then you let out a smile as you swallow his cum whole.

“fuck, babe, fuck” he shakes, as you finally remove your hand from your sweatpants. you’re covered in your own juices, but as you stand up chris grabs your hand immediately, taking one look at your fingers before he puts them in his mouth, licking you clean. when he removes them, he twists your hands around and kisses the back of your hand.

“chris” you say, and he looks at you. “that was-“

“i love you” he says, not even letting you finish, and you can’t help but let out a laugh as you lean forward, pressing your lips against his.

“i love you too, goof. now get changed.” you mutter against his lips before you take a step to the side.

he chuckles before he steps forward, reaching down and pulling up boxers. you watch him as he steps towards the pile of clothes towards the back of the room, picking out the same outfit as your own and getting himself changed. when he turns around to look at you, he smiles.

“you’re insane, did you know that?” he says, and you roll your eyes jokingly as you finally turn around and open up the door.

but it’s the same time as matt was just about to open the door to come in, and you both let out a small squeal as you make each other jump.

“jesus, matt” you laugh, holding your hand to your heart.

“i thought you were having your photos taken, what are you-“

but he stops short as chris comes up behind you. there’s a silence between the three of you before matt turns on his heel.

“ew my fucking god. ew ew ew”

and you can’t help but let out a laugh.

“bro” chris begins, but matt holds up his hands and continues to walk off, his back turned on you both.

chris lets out a grumble before he holds onto your hips again, whispering in your ear.

“this is your fault.” he says, and you let out a smile as you turn your head to look at him.

“just doing my job” you say, before you skip off back in the direction of the photographer.

a few weeks later when the launch finally drops, you post a photo to your instagram of a behind the scenes photo nick took of you both. chris’ around your waist as you stand just off to the side of him, your hip pressed against his back so you can see the new t-shirts clearly, but your hand is entwined with his.

@/yourusername : proud of you always @/christophersturniolo. new fresh love out now!

comments :

HE FINALLY GOT YOU TO MODEL!!!

do i fancy chris or you more?

cutest fucking couple ever.

mattsturniolo : scared for life.

tarayummy : my king and queen.

HELP WHAT DOES MATTS COMMENT MEAN?

[missnxthingg]

𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬, 𝑭𝑹𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑭𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑪𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑾𝑶𝑹𝑳𝑫 . (𝑺𝑴𝑨𝑼 𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵) - 𝐹𝐼𝑉𝐸 (𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑡𝑤𝑜)

𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆 - We're close to an ending 😭 I really hope this is a preview of real life, because I NEED to see Lando win this year. Also, don't forget to check part one and the original chapter of the story.

original chapter | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist | pt 1

landonorris

Marina Bay, Abu Dhabi

landonorris One last challenge this year, this time with the entire family by my side ❤ LFG!

yourusername Avengers, assemble!

↪landonorris Ur such an idiot, I love you ↪yourusername Learned it from the best

maxfewtrell Good to be here, brother

username1 Ollie is here! Omg, daddy Lando content incoming

username2 This is so cute! They are all reunited to see if he's going to be a world champion

↪username3 praying for it to work! He deserves it so much ↪username4 just the fact that they are all there for him makes me sob 😭 they are so cute

yourusername added to their stories

Caption: One more sleep until the big day

f1

f1 LANDO NORRIS IS YOUR 2024 WORLD CHAMPION!

tagged: landonorris

username1 oh my god, we got to see lando win his first race and first championship in the same year

username2 him as a world champion was NOT on my bingo card back in january

username3 LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO

username4 LAST RACE KING, WE DID IT!

yourusername YES! 🧡 that's my man

↪username5 the best wag we have now! ↪username6 THE KISS YOU SHARED AFTER THE RACE, OMG! ↪username7 please lando ask her hand in marriage soon 🙏

yourusername

yourusername Everybody knows I'm not someone to give off big ass texts on the internet, especially for something I've been particularly saving for myself for a really long time. But today is a special day, and I couldn't wait until I wrote this open letter to you.

Lando, my world champion, I remember the first time we ever met. I was barely anything about a mere intern on the social media team, and you still didn't have a single hair on your face. Look at how far we've come.

This win will forever be unforgettable. You deserve every moment of glory and happiness from all the hard work you've been doing for this. You're the world's best boyfriend and godfather. Ollie and I love you very much, and we are beyond proud of you. We'll always have your back. And we'll always be here to cherish, cheer and take care of you.

Proud to be LN4 and papaya on the heart 🧡

tagged: landonorris

comments are limited

landonorris My love, this is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me. I love you and I'm so glad to have you and Olivia in my life. To many more conquests in our lives from now on.

landonorris

landonorris Celebrated it properly ❤ A little party never killed nobody

tagged: yourusername

username1 I'm glad to see DJ Lando didn't die when he became a boyfriend

↪username2 we all know he'll never stop partying ↪username3 maybe we'll see more of y/n out partying with him from now on

username4 Living for the second picture omg

username5 the love of his life, truly

yourusername Same place and same reason to celebrate next year?

↪landonorris Bet

yourusename

London, England

yourusername Future world champion in the making. First classes: road driving

tagged: landonorris

landonorris I need someone to carry on my legacy in the future

↪yourusername Your F1 goat!

username1 now that he's world champion, time to teach someone else to be that as well

username2 Back to his family ❤

↪landonorris The best place in the world

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

[curiositysavesthecat]

Admins' comment: ❝Oh, I have heard of this! And also the other one that says if you swim in a pool or a river or the sea during a thunderstorm, you could get hit by lightning strike (so it has something to do with being wet/being in the water). Not sure how accurate that is, because I've never done any actual research about it, but I have been in a pool while it was raining and taken a shower while it was storming several times before. Still unharmed so far lol❞ — Admin 1

This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[yandere-paramour]

Whats it like when Darling has their first time with Noelle?

First time with Noelle - NSFW

It was hard to pin Noelle down. Ever since you moved in, you two had followed the same routine. She gently encouraged you to work less and less because it made you oh so exhausted, to stay inside for your own safety, to lay back and relax because she would take care of everything. You became a housewife who didn't actually do anything. Noelle had a woman come in to clean and cook and deliver anything that needed delivering, your job, she said, was to be adorable.

And you were. You slept 10 hours every night and usually found the time to take an afternoon nap. You ate and drank when you were supposed to and looked pleased with the praise Noelle heaped upon you when she checked when she came home. You let her dress you in soft, flowy fabrics and coo over what a lovely little sweetheart you were. You even let her bathe you and wash your hair while you lay boneless in the bubbly water.

It was a relaxing existence, albeit a boring one. Any form of entertainment you asked for, Noelle delivered. Any book, streaming service, or gaming console would be delivered, and you were free to browse the internet and try as many new hobbies as you desired. Spending your days with Sasha as company, you lived like a pampered queen, and Noelle worked hard every day to provide for you.

And that was the one problem.

Noelle worked with Ms. Atalanta five, sometimes six, days a week, and the hours were never consistent. Some days she would be gone from before the sun rose to long into the next morning, other days she would be strolling back in the door in early afternoon. This kind of sounded stupid, but it was hard to find time for yourself. Especially... in that way. It seemed that any time the heat started to pool in your core, when your fingers got itchy and started to wander lower and lower, Noelle would come in the door looking for you, and you would have to throw on your clothes and act like you hadn't been furiously masturbating. It was infuriating.

And you couldn't go to Noelle with this. Sure, you two had done some kissing and heavy petting, and while she had been under your shirt, you both had never crossed the waistbands of each other's pants. There just... weren't enough hours in the day, and Noelle really didn't seem interested. You expected her to initiate one day, and you would gladly have spread your legs, but she never did, and you were too shy to do it yourself.

You were really starting to get frustrated. When you moved in, you had brought your toys, but they must've gotten mixed with you and Noelle's things somehow because you hadn't been able to find them. And trust, you had looked. You hated admitting to this, but you were turning into a horny animal.

And the horny was turning your brain to mush. At least, that's how you rationalized it as you lay prone on the bed, blue silk panties in a pool on the floor, your fingers frantically pumping in and out of you as you chased an orgasm too far out of reach. You sure weren't shy anymore.

"And what do we have here?" A familiar voice came from behind you and ice filled your veins.

Your head whirled over your shoulder. You must've looked like an idiot, face down, ass up, fingers still inside you as you looked at Noelle, leaning against the door jamb, eyebrow raised as she took you in.

Slowly, you took your hand out, careful to keep the excess fluid from dripping on the silk sheets. You turned over, trying unsuccessfully to regain some dignity as you pulled the blankets over to cover yourself.

"Hi Noelle," You swallowed dryly, "When did you come home?"

"Just now. And to something interesting, I might add. What are we doing?" Noelle gave you a mildly disapproving look and your face burned with shame, then anger.

"This is your fault!" You exploded at her, "What the hell do I have to do to get you to touch me? I've lived with you for eight months and you never go past kissing! I'm in your bed every night in a silk neglige and no panties! Am I not attractive to you or something?"

You started to lose some steam, and tears came to your eyes, "Don't you love me?"

Noelle was silent for a minute, and you started to wilt. As small as she was, she had an incredibly imposing presence and you had never even spoken sharply to her before, let alone yelled at her like this. You had no idea why she was looking at you in that way, or what she might say or do. You didn't want to admit it, but you were kind of scared.

"Oh, baby..." Noelle looked at you with pitying eyes, "I clearly have not been taking care of you the way you needed. I had no idea, Princess."

Well, this was unexpected, "What?"

"I was trying to take it slow and really ease you in, but I guess I was a little too slow. I just didn't want to push you too fast."

"Huh? What do you-"

"Take off the rest of your clothes. On your back, legs spread. I'm going to the closet for a minute, and you will wait here for me."

"Noelle, I don't understan-"

"Now."

At the sound of her authoritarian voice, you hurried to obey. You tore your shirt off and lay on your back wide open as instructed, your genitals lubricating despite your confusion and apprehension. What was she doing? Was she going to punish you? Was masturbating not allowed here? You had been punished before but never sexually, and Noelle had never made the rule clear if it even existed, but would she listen if you protested? You were unclear how important this was to her; maybe she was angrier than you'd ever seen her and she would spank you. You heard Ms. Atalanta did that to her wife and she reported it was effective at curbing disobedient behavior. But then, why would she order you on your back?

A sound came from your right and you turned to gape. Noelle was naked, every inch of her soft pale body on display and illuminated by day, making her look like a goddess emerging from the sunlight. You had seen her naked before, you both bathed together most nights, but you had never seen the harness and erect dildo she had strapped to her front. The contraption was massive, making Noelle's body look smaller in comparison, and what little ration you had left in your body wondered if it would fit. You weren't a virgin, but you were tight and unsure if you would stretch to fit that mammoth thing inside you.

You tried to sit up, but she was on you in seconds, that snake on the front of her body lining up with your hole. You stilled, and some of the fear must have bled into your eyes because Noelle paused. She put her hands on your face, making you look her in the eye.

"Are you scared? I'll stop if you're scared," She said.

"I-I'm not scared, just... will that fit?"

Noelle popped two fingers down to check you, "It'll be a little of a stretch but you can take me. I'm sure of it."

"I-I can?"

She grinned, and the love in her eyes comforted you, "You're my girl. I know you can."

With that, she entered you in one swift motion. She surprised you, enabling your muscles not to tense up until she was fully inside. You yelped, more in surprise than discomfort, and Noelle chuckled. She was right; you had been able to take her with little more than the burn as you stretched deliciously around her. She gave you only a few seconds to get used to the feeling of her inside you before she started. She was only gentle for a few strokes before she truly found her rhythm, folding up your legs onto her shoulders in a mating press so she could fuck you harder. She pounded into you roughly, the soft mattress bouncing you up and down as you struggled to keep yourself steady. Noelle's soft grunts came with every stroke and you mewled like a kitten and drooled as she took you.

It truly surprised you the strength this small woman had in her body. She mounted you like an animal, pumping away with everything she had. You could see the strain in her muscles, and you wanted her to take a break and rest before she exhausted herself, but all your mouth could say was "Yes" and "More" and "Please please please".

Ever the observer, Noelle noticed when you were nearing orgasm. She growled something dominating in your voice, commanding you to orgasm for her, and you howled like a coyote as you came. Tears rolled down your face, and you collapsed dizzy, exhausted, and sweating back onto the bed. You must've looked like a sight, fucked into a state of bliss and drenched in your own fluids. Noelle pulled out of you, looking down at you warmly as she swiped some of you off the dildo, bringing her fingers to her mouth to taste you.

"I knew you would be sweet," She chuckled, lightly pinching your cheek in a gesture of fondness.

"N-Noelle, that was-"

"I know, Princess. Try and relax, okay? Let me take care of you."

"Take... care of me?"

"You've lost a lot of fluids," She gestured between your legs, "Let me get you some water."

"No," You grabbed her arm to keep from leaving you, "Not yet. Don't go yet."

"I'm not leaving you, sweetheart. I'm just going to get you some water and something quick to eat."

You gave her your softest, most pathetic gaze, "Not yet, please? I just want to cuddle first."

Noelle froze for a second in that shocked look she always gave you when you surprised her, then softened, "Well I can't deny that request. Scoot over, baby."

Noelle slipped the harness off her hips and dropped it on the floor to clean later. She slid in behind you, tucking her body around yours, and you curled in response to her becoming the big spoon. It was safe here in her arms; she was so much stronger, smarter, more ambitious than you. It was easier for you to just settle in her arms, content to be a pretty pet for her to love and care for and occasionally reward with a good fucking. Maybe the necklace she gave you was her inconspicuous way of collaring you, her way of marking you as hers before others, or even you, knew for sure.

Noelle whispered about how good you were, how well you took every little thing she gave you and how perfect you looked with her cock spearing you in half. You listened, her words liquefying your mind and the pleasant tingling in your used genitals soothing your body. You would be sore later, but now you were snug in her arms, the hormones of your orgasm and the soft song Noelle hummed putting you to sleep.

She kissed your forehead, and you made a soft, sleepy noise in response.

Noelle chuckled, "Go to sleep, angel. I'll be here when you wake up, and you and I can have a long conversation about new expectations when you wake up."

You made a confused sound, and she patted your head and hushed you.

"I know, Princess," Noelle pacified you, "I know what you want and I promise, I'll do that a lot more often. I'd give you anything, remember?"

You gave a small happy wiggle and snuggled back in, pleased that your amazing girlfriend knew you better than you knew yourself, and had promised to fuck you like a dog in heat more frequently.

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.